#so the fact that Rollins is finally opening up to him and wanting to be with him makes me ecstatic

[wyniepooh]

Want

stuck in a dark, crowded bar, stuck against aaron hotchner. you want him to give in, he just wants you.

oh my GOD EXTREME tension. in fact the only plot point can be summed up in one word: TENSION. mentions of alcohol and tipsiness. bau!reader struggling with a particular case, hotch comforts… and does a little more 😊

the music was blaring entirely too loud.

your second drink was starting to become watered down as the light buzz you craved swarmed your head from your first. when you touched the cold glass, water wet your warm fingertips. a strong breeze enabled you to shiver and look towards the entrance, where a large group of young college students swarmed into the already stuffed and cramped room.

your ears had began to ring, and the flickering lights were making your eyes heavy with pain. you thought about walking out, getting some night air, and feeling the moonlight shine on your face. but when you finally decided to try and get up, there was barely any space left for you to even lift your arms up. you sighed, sitting back down on the beat up stool, elbows resting on the bar table.

“you okay?” the familiarly deep voice asked. you turned your head to reveal aaron behind you, still wearing what he had on this morning in the bau headquarters— his usual, perfectly tight suit with a scarily neat tie. the only noticeable difference in his appearance was that his usually gelled hair was, god forbid, messy. a couple stands of dark hair fell in front of his forehead.

you flashed him a brief smile, “yeah, fine.” you fiddled with the flashy umbrella toothpick in your glass.

he raised his brows, saying nothing because he knew the look in his eyes said it all. he knew how you really felt, but he also knew you would never admit you were anything but fine.

“still thinking about the case, aren’t you?”

you scoffed, “how could i not?” as you took another sip of your drink, images of the various children that were rescued from an abandoned truck flashed through your mind. they were alive, yes. but how could they possibly live life like they used to before? do they even remember what it was like? the sound of a screaming girl filled your brain.

you ran both your hands through your hair, letting out a loud sigh. “god, i hate when kids are involved.”

“i know. me too.”

“they just..” you gulped back a stone in your throat, “they’re so innocent. or, they were once. but now… it’s all gone. i hate that they won’t ever chase butterflies or play in the sand box again, or play in the snow or get ice cream on the beach. all those memories are ruined for them now.”

aaron let out a sigh. a beat passed, and you knew he was thinking of what to say. after a moment, the silence was interrupted by his hushed voice. “agent. they may not have their childhood anymore, but they’ll continue to have their teenagehood, their adulthood, maybe their motherhood or fatherhood. and it’s all because of the work you’ve done. the work we’ve all done. focus on the good. instead of thinking about what they were, think about what they will be.”

you lowered your head slightly, your hair falling to cover you face. you smiled to yourself over his words. fuck, he always knew what to say. why did he always have to know what to say?

a comfortable silence fell upon the two of you as he settled on the stool beside you. he declined the bartender for a drink with a firm extend of his hand, turning his whole body towards you instead. you opened your mouth, then closed it. you wanted to thank him, or at least say something. but no words could be heard coming from your mouth.

aaron, as usual, noticed your discomfort. he tilted his head towards the door with a soft grin and said,

“let’s get out of here.”

you chuckled gratefully, nodding and pushing back your stool to allow yourself to try and get up once again. but before you could turn around, a sudden push pressed your stomach harshly against the bar table.

you exclaimed quietly before looking back at the crowd and rolling your eyes as a sigh came over you. you were completely trapped between the bar table and a group of drunk, dancing, college guys singing annoyingly off-key. seeing your position, hotch comes over and wedges himself between you and a drunk guy who was letting his hands fall a little too close to your tight jeans.

with his chest to your back, he rested a light hand on your arm, leaning down to whisper, “are you okay?”

your face flushed at the close proximity, his hand placement, and the way his words tingled your ears. you were suddenly thankful the room was so dark and swarming with strobe lights, as it was hopefully concealing your ragged breaths and red cheeks. you cleared your throat before responding.

“yeah, fine. just…” you wiggled and attempted to turn, “…totally stuck,” you chuckled.

another push came from behind, both his arms coming down to grip the bar table in front of you.

“just stay like this for a while. we’ll sneak out once this song ends and they stop singing like maniacs and spread out a little more.”

you nodded in response, your head down in embarrassment as you notice just how tight you two are pressed together, and how big his hands look resting on the table compared to yours. people on the dance floor began to move to the beat of the music, the waves of pushes like currents in the sea during a stormy night. another push. and another. one after the other.

whenever you turned your head or adjusted your position, you felt a rush of warm air kiss your ears, making your arms feel like jelly. you were glad the stool aided you in holding you up, as clearly, your arms couldn’t do the job any longer.

it certainly wasn’t the first time you’ve felt so nervous and electrified around aaron, but each time you did, you manage to surprise yourself with just how tender you get.

ever since you walked into the bau building, you knew you were screwed. just up laying eyes on aaron hotchner, you knew your days would suddenly start to feel longer. aaron with his neatly ironed suits, aaron with his gucci ties. aaron with his soothing, dark, voice, neat hair, and clean cologne. aaron who always, always checked up on everyone, aaron who would lightly touch your arm or caress the side of your face. aaron who says “atta girl”, and taps his hand on your back when he hugs. aaron who gave you soft smiles when other weren’t looking and aaron who only occasionally laughed at your lame jokes.

it was no surprise, really, that you had begun to look forward to getting up every morning to go to work.

a particularly harsh bump pushed aaron firmly against you, and a grunt make it’s way past his lips. it was hard to tell with all your senses on alert and tingling, but you heard him mumble something incoherently under his breath. you inhaled sharply, shaking your head quickly to get rid of the butterflies in your stomach.

you told yourself maybe it was the alcohol speaking. maybe the strobe lights were making you hallucinate, or maybe the music was making you think of other things. all of it was responsible for making you imagine the quickening of aaron’s heartbeat against your back, his ragged breaths, the way his hands tightened it’s grip on the table.

but really, in that moment, the music zoned out. your eyes no longer hurt from the flashing lights and everyone disappeared from view. it was just you, and him.

you finally found the courage to turn your head and look back at him, his forehead a little sweaty and his lips pursued. you looked down quickly. the both of you were so close, yet so far. he was holding back. his need, his desire. a fated push caused aaron’s nose to rub roughly against yours, and your broken breaths synced. you leaned forward, your nose still on his. you opened your mouth as if to say something, but you said nothing. you didn’t need to.

you eyes moved up to try and find his, but he was already looking at you. one of his hands came down to rest on your stomach, inching you even deeper against him. he leaned down, his lips barely brushing yours. it was completely silent for a moment. then, he breathed,

“do you want this?”

-

a/n: consent is sexy everyone 😇

[ineffablebookgirl]

No, but like, there was no way Inej was ever going to say, yes, okay, I'll stay in Ketterdam with you instead of looking for my brother. And Kaz knows this.

He literally just gave her the lead on where to start looking for her brother. He knows this has been her whole purpose for so long, just like avenging Jordie has been his. And she may actually be able to find some peace and happiness by achieving her goal, unlike Kaz, who is left adrift after completing his revenge.

Four times over the course of this season he sends her away. Her response to each one shows her own character development as well as the arc of their relationship.

The first time is when they first arrive back in Ketterdam and find out that Pekka Rollins now owns everything, including Inej. Kaz tells her to get out of the city and says, "This isn't your fight anymore," which, honestly is totally ridiculous to say that her own indenture contract is not her own business. Her response: "I'm not leaving you." Matter-of-fact, knee-jerk, and he doesn't argue. This feels like a well-worn routine for them.

Then we have the "bathroom scene," where her resolve and energy are refocused by Kaz telling her Pekka killed his brother. Before the main event, Kaz again tells Inej, if things go awry, get out of the city, find your brother, and never look back. Once again, she refuses to promise this. "I can only promise you that Pekka will beg for his death."

Then she makes the choice to get the trafficked women off the boat instead of being there in the shadows to watch over Kaz. I think he genuinely was upset that he didn't know that she was okay, and genuinely upset that she wasn't there to watch over him. But he uses those genuine emotions to push her away a third time. He has finally secured her freedom. He can finally really keep her safe, and the safest thing is for her to leave the city, because also, in securing her freedom, he has shown Pekka his hand, revealed his true "tell," which is his love for Inej. So he pushes her away again, this time more forcefully, by really hurting her. But, she gets drawn back in by the quest for the Neshyenyar. "You have your freedom. Why would this be what you choose to do with it?" "I'm not here for you. I'm here for Sankta Alina." It's a half truth.

Then we've got the toxin trips, which move both of them forward, but kind of in opposite directions. Even though for Inej it's her really confronting what she wants from Kaz, it's also confronting the reality that she is not going to get that from him, where he is right now. Just hours ago she saw him have a serious flashback / breakdown just from bumping into someone. And though she understands it, because of her own trauma, she also understands she can't save him from it.

So by the time we get to the end, Inej has made some kind of peace with this. She is leaving the phase of her own healing journey where she needs him to lean on as a fellow traveler, and where taking care of him serves as a way to avoid taking care of herself. And he, meanwhile, has had Inej rescue him from his trauma nightmare in reality at the teashop, in his toxin dream where she pulls him out of the water (oh, not to mention, literally saves his life by forcibly touching his face and making him eat the butterfly). And then he's had the philosophical talking-to from Ohval about how loving someone isn't a weakness, it's what makes life worthwhile. He is opening up slowly, confronting his feelings for her and how that vulnerability fits in with his life philosophy.

When he comes to say goodbye in the chapel, he is finally sincere. Finally him pushing her away isn't because of what he wants or needs emotionally, it's about what's best for her, which is being able to follow her own path to completion, the way she has enabled him to follow his Jordie path. And it's because he's in this place where he can finally, authentically let her go, that he can finally, authentically ask her to stay, out loud. All the other times he told her to leave, he was really asking her to stay. And now, when he is really ready to let her choose to leave, he is able to ask her to stay.

And she is also ready to say, yes, I am going to leave, for real this time, on my own path. Because I know that I actually need and deserve more from you now, and I know that you can make it without me, I am asking you to stand on your own two feet.

And of course he understands that too. Even with all the vulnerability and hope he allows himself in that moment, if she had said yes to staying with him, it would have felt wrong immediately.

She's not rejecting him, she's laying out her terms, which she's finally able to do because they are finally able to voice their true wants, both of them. (Yeah they both still have a looooong way to go, with healing and with not communicating via riddles and omissions).

It's also a narrative parallel to Alina letting Mal go on his own path. Both stories are about allowing the one you love to choose their path, be the main character in their own story.

So, I think this is a beautiful, if heartbreaking, end to their arc this season. Growth! Being together is not off the table, but they are one step closer to laying out what it would really look like for them to be together.

[agentbobr]

May I ask for some rottmnt yandere headcannons with an s/o who completely refuses to show them affection after being kidnapped.

(sorry ,I'm not good with asking for these)

sorry this took so so long!, finally got the motivation to work on some asks so lets get this rollin! :D hope you enjoy, also don't apologize, I really liked writing this one lolol <33

Raph!!

Raph would be hurt, you showed him affection before so why not now?

He's going to try and make up to you anyway he can...well besides letting you go.

He brings you your favorite items from your room back home, he'll buy you teddy bears, books and comics, ANYTHING. in an effort to try and get you to at least just hug him back

And if he gets worried enough, he's going to ask Donnie to do a scan on you to make sure you're ok, maybe you just bumped your head?...that has to be it..

Leo!!

He will gaslight you. period.

He won't feel bad either! i mean, he put in such effort to bring you here and to buy you stuff that'll make you happy, the least you could do is show him some form of love and appreciation.

Overtime, he'll get more and more desperate for it though, leading to him forcing himself onto you for hugs, snuggles, any form of touch.

And if he's delusional enough, he might have to find a certain present he got from Donnie that he thinks would look just shockingly amazing on you~

Donnie!!

Lucky for you, he doesn't require to much affection due to his dislike for being touched.

But if it seems like your uninterested when he's talking about his latest invention or interest, well. that'll have to be fixed.

I see Donnie as a very manipulative and somewhat violent yandere, he's very aware of what he's doing, but why does any of the amount of crimes he commiting matter when it's in the name of romance? <3

He'll more than likely just make something that'll make you pay attention to him, after all, what else do you have to do other than love him?

Mikey!!

Well he for one is extremely hurt.

He only did it to make sure you would be safe, far away from the Foot Clan and anyone else who would want to hurt you!

So...he'll do what he does best and try to bribe you to love him again, he bakes you your favorite sweets, paints you your favorite things! he tries everything.

And if you still don't show him an ounce of affection? he'll wallow and beg, pleading for you to even just talk to him in a loving tone. He will start breaking under the fact that he ruined what you two had, he might even let you go out of guilt!

But he will be still with you 24/7. thats something you cant escape even if he lets you out of the lair, he won't let you go completely no matter what, good luck! <3

asks open as of 3/9/22! 💙

[aalyssah]

Mistake -P3-

Mistake -P1- Mistake -P2- Mistake -P3 (This!) Mistake -P4-

Pairing: Finn Balor x Seth Rollins x Fem!Reader

Warning: Angst.

Word Count: 2,084

Summary: You confront Seth after his confession, which leads to problems. (Sorry if the summary sucked!)

A/N: One more Part! I’m sorry I’m taking so long to upload the parts, please just stick with me! Hope You Enjoy!

What? Is he serious?

Seth Rollins, the same man who broke your heart, the same man that chose his ex over you, the same man that ruined a special title shot for you, is admitting to liking you still.

Your mouth dropped open as you looked at him. "What?" He let out a sigh, knowing it would take time. "I still want you, Y/n. I realized my mistake and I'm trying to get better. Give me another chance." He begged, grabbing your hands.

You looked down at them before thinking. You love Finn, you can't go back to him. You slowly took your hands out his. "Seth, I love Finn. You had your chance and now that you messed it up, I'm moving on." He looked down in defeat.

"I know, but I was stupid. I wasn't thinking at the time. I was young!" Excuse after excuse, nothing was gonna change your answer. "Seth, we can be friends, but nothing more." You answer lastly before getting up to leave, but you were stopped and grabbed.

Seth spun you around before kissing you. You were so shocked you couldn't even push him away. You stood there, frozen. What you didn't know was that the door was slightly open and a picture was taken...

You finally got your senses back and pushed him away. "SETH? WHAT THE FUCK?!" You never cuss. That was how he knew you were mad. "I-I'm sorry I thought-" You cut him off, slapping him. "I love Finn! Not you. You messed up, Seth Rollins!"

You feel ashamed when you say you felt something. You missed his lips in your's, but you were with Finn. He doesn't have to know about this. Right?

You walked out feeling tears come to your eyes. You thought that tune was over him, but clearly all it took was a kiss. You went to the bathroom and wiped your tears.

He messed up badly.

————————————

You were hanging out in the catering with everyone that was congratulating you on your return and your relationship with Finn. You sat with some of your old friends: Bayley, Becky, Bianca, Charlotte, and Sasha. "Girl, I haven't seen him this happy since he won his first title." Bayley said. It was probably true, considering they used to be a tag team.

You smiled at the fact you could make him that happy. "I try too." You said, smiling. All of a sudden, hands covered your eyes making you jump. "Guess who?" That Irish accent gave it away too easily. "Hmm, Becky?" You heard a gasp across the table. "Hey! I might be, The Man, but I don't sound like one!" She defended making others laugh.

Finn uncovered your eyes and kissed your cheek before sitting next to you. "So." He started off. "So?" You said you were confused. "What did Seth say to you?" You thought for a second before rolling your eyes. "Oh my god, he literally had the audacity to say he still loved me. I was like you had your chance and now that Finn has taken your place doesn't mean you can try to get your spot back."

You didn't tell him about the whole kissing incident because he looked so happy.

Others nodded their heads in agreement. "He wants you to leave me, for him, after breaking his heart?" He asked, trying to understand this. "Yeah, but I told him that I love you and we can still be friends." Finn nodded his head, not minding that. Clapping could be heard at the entrance as everyone turned and looked.

It was no other than Baron Corbin. You rolled your eyes, mumbling, 'Ignore him.' "Y/n, Finn, how are y'all today?" Finn stared at him, with anger. "Baron, please leave us alone." You asked nicely. "Why? I'm not here to start arguments. I'm here to talk about y'all." Baron being happy? Absolutely not. "Baron please leave-" Baron began to talk over you. "Y/n why are you behind so mean-"

Finn stood up, getting in Baron's face while you held on his bicep. "You heard the lady. Leave us." Baron rolled before turning around to leave. "You'll see, don't disrespect me!" You and Finn laughed before brushing him off.

He wasn't gonna do anything.

Or was he?

————————-

It was time for Smackdown and you sat in the locker room, watching Finn get ready for his match. "Love, do you think you can do my back for me?" You smiled, getting up and frBb the paint brush. "Do whatever you'd like." You thought for a second before starting your painting. The TV was on as music played through the arena. It was Seth.

He walked to the commentary table before sitting down. You guess he's gonna be the special guest commentator. Finn's match was up first as Staff members came to the door. "You wanna come out?" You nodded your head before intertwining your hands together and walking out. Fans cheered as you two walked out together.

It seemed they loved you two together. You gave Finn a good luck kiss before going at ringside. The match was going well. Finn was beating his opponent before hitting his finisher and winning. You got in the ring, jumping in his arms, not caring about the paint, getting all over your clothes.

"You did so good, babe!" He smiled before celebrating his victory. You two walked backstage. "Hey, you can go wash up, I gotta go talk to Vince." He kissed your cheek before sending you on. You walked in and saw Baron sitting there. "Hello, Y/n Vince greeted you, shaking your hand.

"Hello Sir, what can I do for you?" You said, sitting down in the chair. "I want to talk to you about upcoming plans for your career, but first can you put your things on the desk. I just don't want you distracted or recording any of this." You agreed instantly and took your phone and things out your pocket and sat them down on the desk.

You two talked about things and you didn't even notice, Baron taking your phone. "Sorry to interrupt you Sir, but may I use the bathroom." Vince waved his hand before continuing.

Baron went to the bathroom and did things with your phone. He came back in after 15 minutes and sneakily placed your phone back in its spot. You'll never know. "Okay, I can do that!" You agreed to Vince before getting your things. "Thank you, Sir. I won't let you down." You left the room and went back to Finn.

You and Finn went home without a problem.

————————————————————————

It was the time for Monday Night Raw and you had a match. You were nervous because this would be your second match after taking a break and you would have to fight, Nia Jax. Fellow co-workers would tell you about how dangerous she is in the ring and how careful you would have to be. She was a powerhouse after all.

"Are you ready for tonight?" Finn asked, spraying cologne on his neck. "Kind of, I'm just nervous." You said, lacing up your boots. "Don't be, I know you'll do great, and even if you do lose, you're still a winner in my books." He smiled, hugging you. "Thank you for supporting me, baby." You laid your head back, against his shoulder.

"Of course, I'm gonna support you like a boyfriend should." You thought back to Seth, but shook your head. "Imma go stretch." You walked pro, not letting him get another word in. On your way to the area, Baron stopped you. "Good luck in your match, Y/n." He actually looked happy. His smile didn't match his eyes at all.

He looked like he had something planned. "What are you planning, Corbin?" You crossed your arms not believing him. "What? I'm not planning anything. I'm just being a supportive coworker." He said, holding his hands up in defense. "Don't make me go get Finn." You pointed your index finger at him. "You have to worry about having him after this match."

What?

What doesn't he mean by that? "What are you talking about?" Baron brushed his statement. "Y/n! You're up!" Great, he distracted you. You didn't even have time to stretch. You walked to the gorilla and made your entrance.

You fought a hard match against Nia and you ended up getting the win. It drained you physically fighting her, but she wouldn't give up. Finn came out, clapping before getting in the ring. He kissed you and raised your hand up in victory.

Baron's lucid played around the arena making you groan. He always had to ruin the moment, did he?

He came out smiling, with a microphone in his hand., stalking to the ring. He began clapping. "Good job in your win, Y/n. You looked really good out here." Finn took his jacket off, ready to fight. He was really getting tired of him. "Woah, woah, woah, Irish Man! Slow down!" Baron said backing up.

"You don't wanna fight me, trust me! I've got something you want to see." Finn calmed down waiting for him. You handed him a mic. "Show me then!" Baron smiled happily before getting in the ring. "Well, your little girlfriend over there isn't really in love with you, like she says she is."

Your brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what he was talking about. “You see, she hasn’t been telling you everything about her little Ex-boyfriend, Seth.” ‘Ooo’s’ were heard around the arena as he said that. You still didn’t understand what he was talking about. You barely talked to Seth.

“Get on with it Corbin, before I beat your ass!” Finn threatened. He sounded mad. “Alright, let’s start off with the messages.” Messages? What messages? You thought. On the big screen, it was a picture of your messages from Seth. “Yesterday, Y/n, texted Seth: ‘Hey Seth, I just wanted to say I enjoyed last night.” Finn looked at the titantron, reading the messages.

Was this true? He thought. “Oh, and what about a week ago? She said, ‘We can’t tell Finn what we did! It was only a one time thing.’” He mocked, using a girl's voice. Finn couldn’t tell if he should be mad or sad.

“Burn It Down!”

Great, here comes Seth. It’s just what we needed to add more fuel to the fire. Seth came into the ring looking at Corbin. “Corbin, what the hell are you talking about? I didn’t text Seth that?!” You protested confusingly. “Then what are the messages?!” The sudden outburst from Finn made you jump. He’s never yelled at you before.

“I don’t know? I didn’t have my phone on me!” You really didn’t understand what was happening. “You obviously texted him all this! You knew what happened. And you!” He pointed at Seth. “You that desperate, you come and mess with my girl!” Seth looked at Finn, offended. “Look man, if I wanted her, I could have her.

Your mouth dropped open as Finn held himself back from beating Seth. “Oh wait, before we finish this, you all wanna see this.” Baron clicked a button and a picture showed up. It was a picture of you and Seth kissing in his locker room.

Finn got in Seth’s face and began arguing while Baron sat in the back smiling. You stood in the corner shocked at everything, feeling tears drop on your cheeks.

(Pretend The Miz is Baron)

“Are you serious? You're so insecure, you're trying to take my lady!?” Finn yelled at Seth. “I don’t need to take your lady because it’s obvious that she wants me!” That was it for Finn. He jumped on him and the two began fighting. They threw hard punches at each other while referees came from backstage trying to pry them off each other.

After they separated them apart you grabbed Finn’s arm. “Finn calm down!” Finn’s head snapped back at you. “Calm down? You want me to calm down after you kissed your ex?!” You sighed, wishing you told him about it from the beginning. Finn didn’t let you get a word in before leaving the ring, leaving you and Seth there.

Seth, picked up a microphone before speaking. “Finn, since we both want the lady, how about You vs Me for, Y/n. Next week!” The crowd cheered as Finn shook his head.

“Challenge accepted!”

You couldn’t believe what was happening all in one night.

[imaginexwwe]

WRONG NAME 2|3 - Seth ROLLINS

Seth Rollins X Reader • Cody Rhodes X Reader

Guest appearance Brandi

•

PART 1 (x) : Reader's backstage watching her boyfriend, (Colby Lopez) Seth Rollins' HIAC match against his current rival Cody Rhodes

•

Reader goes to check up on Cody Rhodes while her relationship with Colby Lopez hangs in the balance after a little mix-up

•

I stopped in my tracks, biting down on my lips as I stared at the door of the hospital room Cody was in.

My hand lingered above the door handle as I continued to contemplate whether or not I was making the right decision by coming here.

Of course you are, a thought in my mind seemingly answered for me as I now lowered my hand onto the door handle, feeling the coldness on my palm.

But Colby...

What would he think?

Two new thoughts rang out just as I had being to apply pressure on the handle to open the door.

"Colby..." I whispered to myself, images of my pissed off boyfriend from earlier flickering in my mind.

Images of how his eyes flickered with so much hatred as he processed the fact that I had mistakenly called him Cody.

How contorted his face looked.

How he had left me in the backstage area alone as he stormed away.

My body quivered as I mentally shook the images from my mind.

I had done nothing wrong

Sure I called Colby, Cody but it wasn't on purpose

I was just confused from the kiss I had shared with Cody which again, was an ACCIDENT

But that kiss also stirred up a lot of emotions.

Emotions I thought I had buried deep, deep down in my thoughts after Cody and I had parted ways after five years together.

Five of the happiest years of my life.

Up until the last few months of course, I reminded myself.

Why did he have to come back?

If he had just stayed away at AEW I would've been fine.

I wouldn't be here.

I wouldn't be questioning myself, my decisions.

I wouldn't be confused over which man I loved.

I wouldn't have, had to hear Cody finally say the words I had wanted him to say so many years earlier.

"I still love you, Y|N..."

Did I still love him though?

I sighed, realizing that I had been holding my breath this whole time.

"I won't know if I don't go in." I mumbled slightly frustrated at myself for taking so long to build up the courage to step inside Cody's hospital room.

I hurriedly pushed down on the door handle, and stepped inside the room unwilling to give myself another second to think, afraid I may spend another five or ten minutes getting into my own head again.

"Cody, I really need to talk to you," I began to ramble uncontrollably, not even stopping to think that maybe they had given Cody some kind of painkillers and that he could be sleeping. I just knew I had some things to say and I wanted to say them while I had this built up confidence. "I can't stop thinking about what you said and I know it seemed like you meant it but I," I paused for a second to swallow. "I just need to hear you say you meant i-"

I stopped suddenly, as I finally rounded the corner in his hospital room seeing a female figure standing over him, rubbing her thumb along his cheek.

"Brandi..?" I gasped out, seeing the attractive woman standing at his bedside.

"Y|N..?" Cody's estranged wife called out my name, her tone matching mines as if she was mocking me.

Her face was made up like it always was when you would see her on TV, she was dressed nice like always, the only difference this time...

Her red puffy eyes.

Had she been crying over Cody?

Was his situation that bad?

I mean it looked that bad but was it bad enough to rush to your estranged husband's bedside to be with him?

Well you rushed to be here for him, that voice in my head reminded me

"Y|N..." I faintly heard my name being called as I continued to blankly stare over in Brandi's direction, my thoughts once again consuming me. "Y|N..." I heard it again as I finally snapped my eyes over from the female and over to the male that I had come to see.

The very male, I was so confused about.

"Yeah?" I asked, my gaze now locked on Cody's.

His blue eyes staring back into mines.

"I said, what are you doing here..?" Cody seemingly repeated

I shook my head, once again biting at my lip as it had begun to trimble out of nowhere. "I um..." I took a breath, trying to come up with a lie, knowing I couldn't tell the truth to why I was there.

Not with Brandi in the room.

"I um..." I stuttered again.

"You just came to see if I was okay after that match?" Cody spoke up again, slightly nodding his head as if he was trying to let me know he was trying to help me because he realized I wasn't able to get a full sentence out.

He always did know when to jump in and help me, I thought

Just like when I was struggling to come up with what to say to Colby earlier this evening...

"Uh, yeah..." I mumbled. "But I didn't know your wife was here..." I spat out.

A small part of me wanted to see if his eyes would let me know how he felt about me calling Brandi his wife.

Were they going to show that he loved having Brandi referred to as his wife?

Or were they going to show that he didn't like it, considering that they were supposingly separated and had been for almost a year now, according to the news that broke all across social media.

But as I continued to search his eyes I couldn't sew any kind of hint or answer to the questions I was thinking.

Just a few hours ago he practically confessed his fucking love for you, Y|N... you should know the answer whether he says it or not... you should know

"...But since you do and I see that you're okay, I should go." I quickly said, doing a quick turn to head back the way I came, in a hurry to get out of this hospital room and away from the two people in it. "Bye."

In what seemed like twenty five or thirty seconds, I had finally reached the door and the second my hand came in contact with the cool handle I heard my name being called again.

Cody's voice rang in my ears as he pleaded for me to stop, but little did he know, it only encouraged my feet to move faster.

I just had to get away from there.

I refused to see him again.

I refused to see her standing by his bedside, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

And I damn sure refused to let the both of them see my cry.

As I got a few doors down from Cody's room, I rounded the corner bumping into someone.

"Shit." I gasped out, looking up and being able to make out through blurry vision the person I bumped into was Cody's older brother. "Sorry Dustin."

Dustin nodded, looking down at me, concern in his eyes and voice. "You okay?"

I nodded, mumbling a quick. "Yeah." Before adding. "Just came to check up on Cody, but I'm really in a rush." I added half lying so that I could get away and not have to hold a conversation any longer.

•

I silently groaned to myself as I walked into the hotel room that I shared with my boyfriend Colby.

It felt so wrong just stepping foot into here with the way my feelings are beyond twisted.

"Colby..." I called out, keeping my voice purposefully low, hoping that he'd probably be sleep or better yet put at a bar pr something so that I could try to sort myself out.

But of course I couldn't be that lucky, I thought as I heard footsteps coming closer towards the entrance of the room.

"Where you with him?" Colby questioned as soon as he was face to face with me.

That was one of the things I liked about him.

Always getting straight to the point.

Unlike Cody who I had to drag it out of.

But once I did, his words just flowed like a river, unafraid to say what was on his mind.

"Yes," I admitted. "Yes I was." I added, walking further into the hotel room, going directly to my luggage that sat in a corner.

Colby quickly followed, grabbing at my arm. "What are you doing?" He asked, a mixture of confusion and anger lacing his words. "Why are you packing? Where are you going Y|N?" He asked again, throwing a couple more sentences at me.

I grabbed a few items of clothing, shaking my head. "I can't do this Colby..." I said, finally giving him an answer. "I can't do us anymore."

After shoving a few more things in my luggage, I eventually looked up to face Colby.

"I went to see him, nothing happened,"I spoke again, making sure it was known I didn't have some kind of quickie affair and had come to our shared hotel room to pack my things because I was leaving Colby for Cody. "I wouldn't do that to you. I love you too much to do something like that."

"Then why are you leaving me?"

I sighed again, wiping a tear that had fallen. "Because after almost three years of being with you, I've come to love you, obviously and even though I'm not sure what my feelings for Cody are, I don't think I can continue to be with you bec-"

Colby scrunched up his face, giving me a weird look like I was talking a foreign language he didn't understand or something. "What are you trying to say."

"I used to date Cody," I continued, talking a bit slower than my previous pace. "We were together for five years and earlier when you were still in the ring after your match," I paused to bite at the skin on the inside of my cheek. "I kiss-- I kissed him." I finally stuttered out. "And it was on accident, it really was," I continued. "I thought it was you coming back from the ring and I knew you'd be upset cause of your loss, and I figured I'd be waiting with a kiss to let you know that even though you loss, I was there for you and you'd always be my winner," again, I paused to make sure he was keeping up and after he frustratedly nodded, I continued. "I moved to fast and didn't realize till after the kiss felt different that it wasn't you I was kissing. And when I opened my eyes it was you. Then you walked in and I got nervous and well after you got pissed at me mixing up your name, Cody came back from down the hall where he overheard us, well you, yelling at me and he," I bit deeper on the inside of my cheek. "He told me he still loved me."

I finally finished explaining everything that had been wrecking my mind for the past five or six hours, and for about a minute or so, all Colby did was stare at me through narrowed eyes.

"Was it a good different?"

It was my turn to narrow my eyes, as I looked at the man in front of me in disbelief.

"What are you asking?" I questioned, even though I had a feeling what he was asking.

Colby ran a hand through his frizzy hair. "The kiss." He sighed, swallowing as if the words he was about to ask, were a lump that had formed in his throat. "You said you knew it wasn't me you were kissing because it felt different. Was it a good different or a bad different."

"You don't really want me to answer that, Colby," I replied.

"Good or bad?" Colby asked again, his tone darker.

I looked down unable to look him in the eyes because of the words that were about to come from my mouth. "Good." I whispered just enough that he could hear.

I was very aware that after tonight I was going to be on my own.

No Colby

And from what I saw at the hospital no Cody

But I'm proud of the way I handle the situation between me and Colby

He's a sweet guy when he wants to be and he wouldn't have deserved for me to keep what happened from him a minute longer

I'd be sleeping alone but at least I would be able to sleep

•

I KNOW I'VE TOOK FOREVER POSTING THIS BUT I HOPE ITS ENJOYABLE FOR THOSE WHO ASKED FOR A 2ND PART

•

TAGGING THOSE WHO ASKED FOR PT 2:

@jeyusos-girl @maineventmami @sorryimshannoon @sasha2234 @tinyxrose @sarah-bear706318

[sprnklersplashes]

a laugh I could recognise anywhere (ao3)

inej comes home

He’s kept the window open.

It was easier to justify months ago, when summer had finally blessed Ketterdam. Back then, he could respond with “it’s hot”-not a truth but not a lie- and pretend not to see Jesper’s raised eyebrows or the way Wylan’s lips pressed together in a thin line. They saw right through him but never said a word, out of kindness or self-preservation. And while he can’t show it, he’s grateful for that.

To their credit, they still haven’t said a word, even though summer heat has come and gone and now the sky is grey and the pavement speckled with rain. The occasional Dreg has commented on it, normally the younger ones with something to prove or the older ones who want to show they still “have it”. In those moments, Kaz sees that Dirtyhands still has his uses. One glance from him would banish that topic from the conversation, more often than not replacing it with bumbling apologies. And so the fact of his window becomes a quiet, unspoken and accepted truth. Everyone knows it, but no-one wants to be the first to say it.

Kaz Brekker has left his window open for six months, two weeks and three days. He doesn’t know if he’s the only one counting.

He shakes his head free of the thought and turns his attention to the papers in front of him. The past few weeks may have been kind to the Crow Club upon its grand reopening, the city eager to try their luck once more, but that doesn’t mean they can afford to relax. It took work, more work than setting it up in the first place did, to coax tourists into the Barrel in the first place and then into the soon-to-be-bustling gambling hall again. Kaz looks over the numbers and scribbles down some notes beside them and writes up the rota for the next fortnight’s steerers. The main competition might have taken enough hits to run Rollins out of town (for now), but this city thrives on challenges. New clubs sprouted up like daisies after the quarantine ended, eager to fill the void Rollins’ clubs left. Kaz appreciates the sentiment more than they know, but that doesn’t mean he is ready to sit back just yet. Let those newcomers scrap with him first, then he can pick through what’s left.

Satisfied with the rota, he then pulls that week’s inventory toward him. The tapping of his pen against the table fills the silence, much like he wishes his mind would fill with wine orders and table repairs. Rather than the damned window, the curtain falling out to the other side and likely being soaked by the rain. If the past few days are anything to go by, the rain is only going to get heavier, and if the wind follows suit he might have to replace that curtain altogether-

The side of his hand hits the table, and as he looks down at it, he slowly notices the burst of ink across his glove. He mutters a curse under his breath, then another as he notices the blotch staining the page. His breath rushes out as he dabs the page with his sleeves, hoping to get the worst of it out, while his broken pen leaks ink against the wood of his desk.

He’s pulling open his drawer to grab a new pen when he hears it. The one sound that could cut through him like a knife could, possibly better. A sound that he’d said he’d die to hear again, that if it weren’t for the Club and his Crows and his damned reputation, he might have tried crawling across the sea just to hear again.

He thought, with her gone for so long, he’d forget it. It’s just one sound after all, one inconsequential noise in this world of guns and gambling halls. No-one would blame him, not even her, if he did.

But he didn’t, because Inej Ghafa’s laugh is reverberating through his floorboards, and the world has tilted on its axis.

She’s back, he thinks. It sounds like a grateful prayer in his mind, although who he’d pray to he still doesn’t know.

One shaking hand pushes the drawer, the other reaches for his cane. He rises slowly, the bones in his body creaking like a door on old hinges. His hand tightens around the crow’s head on his cane, the one companion that has served him as much as his real Crows. As the cane makes its first step towards the door, he hears it again, quieter this time. That laugh, fluttering up from three flights of stairs to his office. He hears it, and the cane almost snaps.

He takes his time with the stairs. His cane thumps in a steady rhythm against the wood, as if it can make his heart follow suit. His free hand is shoved into his pocket, his teeth pressed together to stop them from chattering. Everything about him is tight, tight jaw, tight spine, tight hands, the months of anticipation wrapping like a coil around him.

His knuckles almost burst through the gloves as he descends the last flight of stairs. As he does, the quiet murmurings solidify into words and the words into sentences. As the final few stairs come before him, he can hear Jesper filling Inej in on the Van Eck mansion, giving her more detail than he thought possible on the colour of curtains he and Wylan had chosen for the main parlour.

“Jesper Llewellyn Fahey, domesticated at last.” He freezes, his breath trapped in his lungs. All those months looking at maps, wondering where she is, and now he doesn't have to wonder. She travelled farther than any merchant or sailor ever did, and then she came back to the Barrel.

(Back to him, he thinks selfishly).

He lowers himself from the last step and slides into the patch of shadow beside the stairs, his side pressed to the wall. He’s keenly aware of the strange role-reversal taking place; spying on his best spy.

From his vantage point, he sees her, perched on a round table with her feet on the chair. Her hair is braided loosely and falling down her back, a glass held between her hands. Her elbows resting on her knees and her back curved as she leans forward to tease Jesper some more. Her nose scrunches and her eyes crinkle, and for a moment, she looks too good for the knives strapped to her legs. But then she downs her drink. The tilt of her chin is proud as she does so and the square of her shoulders strong. A smile flashes across Kaz’s face. She glows with her power and freedom and purpose , and it's a light that even the Sun Summoner would be put to shame by.

Then she laughs, again, this time at Wylan’s blushing face, and he hides his mouth behind his hand.

He had played that sound over and over in his head, committing it to memory the way Wylan would his sheet music. It was most often at night, laying in his single bed in his attic room, playing it the way one would tell a story to a child. He did wonder recently if this meant he was going mad, becoming so enamoured with a single sound. But he’s had worse experiences with madness. They’re old friends, madness and him, yet madness wishes it had the effect on him that she does.

He looks down, his black-clad legs disappearing into the shadow surrounding him. His hand flexes inside its glove, the feeling both comforting and disconcerting. Six months is a long time for both of them, but it seems to have done more for her than it did him. He’s tried to pull himself out of the grave he dug himself, to find the brighter future Inej believes they can have. To pull himself back into the world, even if it’s a world of smoke and shade and half-dealings. To not shed his past entirely, but to hold onto it as he builds something, real and good and maybe even permanent, from its ashes.  

Even if he believed he’s made progress, he would know it’s not enough.

But Kaz is nothing if not determined, and as he watches her smile light up her profile, he knows he won’t give up. Even if it takes him a year to make a real step forward, to be something resembling what she needs, he’ll try.

His cane hits the ground again, and slowly he steps out from the shadow and rounds the corner. Three heads look up, but he only has eyes for one. He watches her eyes widen as he gets closer, listens to the blood rushing through his ears. Goosebumps rise beneath his shirt, cold sweat trickles down his back. This could be a dream, something whispers to him, and he could wake up in the small hours of the morning, alone and safe in his office. Nothing changed, for better or for worse.

He doesn’t though. Instead he stops just steps away from her table and her expectant gaze. His tongue is pressed to the roof of his mouth, his breath so shallow he could be mistaken for a corpse.

It occurs to him then, that maybe she’s waited for this as much as he has. The thought shakes something inside of him, dusting the cobwebs away from something he thought he’d left behind.

“Hello Inej,” he tells her. The words roll off his tongue, grateful to finally be spoken. He holds his breath, the way only she can make him do. She pulls herself off the table and steps closer, not closing the gap between them entirely. But she’s close enough that they could reach out to each other. She’s close enough for their fingertips to touch, if they wanted.

His chest tightens at the thought, and he doesn’t know if it's out of revulsion or something else entirely.

Maybe later, he’ll test it, and see if holding her that day on the docks was a fluke or proof that something had indeed changed.

But for now, he watches her smile, a soft, “hello Kaz” coming as her reply. And if Jesper or Wylan notice the tears momentarily gleaming in his eye, they don’t say anything.

Neither does Inej, but why would she, when twin tears glisten in her own eyes?

“Welcome back.”

[talia-rumlow]

Escort To The Multiverse (X Reader) Chapter Twelve - Let´s See If We Can Make Some Magic!

Pairing: Jack Rollins & Brock Rumlow X Reader

Wordcount: 1293

Warnings: BDSM, Non-Con Elements, Adult Toys, Blood, Threesome (M/M/F), Strong Language

DISCLAIMER: Minors DNI. This is an 18+ story, with rough elements in it. Do not interact if this triggers you!

It’s Rollins who opens the door. He looks the same as last time. Hair held in place by hair gel, all black clothing, and that hard, intimidating look. You swallow. How is this night going to end? What are they planning on doing with you. After what you heard outside, you feel a little nervous.

– Welcome! How has this week been treating you?

You look up at Rollins. What the hell? Are you suppose to make friends with these guys? Or is this just a part of one of their twisted plans to BDSM you into the next millennium?

– Pretty good actually. You?

– Well, you know how it is. Work, all work. Come on in!

Rollins puts a hand on your back and guides you inside. You look around. Rose petals, candles. What the fuck is this? What are they up to? Is this some kind of twisted sex fantasy? You’ve seen some BDSM porn, most of it during this last week actually. To sorta prepare you for what you could expect from tonight. But none of the videos you saw online looked anything like this. You swallow again.

– You don’t like roses?

Rumlow finally talks. You look over at him. But you don’t say anything. He laughs a little, and gives you a half smile.

– I want you to help me live out a fantasy I have….

Including Rose petals and candles? This rough agent guy have a fantasy including roses? Yeah, right! It’s not like you haven’t gotten requests like this before. In fact a lot of your clients wants you to live out their fantasies with them. But that’s usually romantic stuff. Lonely guys, who wants to live a 9-5 life, with wifes and all that. It could be dinner at a fancy restaurant and later sex at the hotel, stuff like that. Romantic, cosy stuff. And you have a feeling that THIS is not that kind of fantasy.

– Lose the clothes!

Rollins comes up behind you. Talks in a firm, demanding tone. You start to turn around, but Rollins stops you. Holding your shoulders, keeping you in place.

– I didn’t say turn around! I said lose the fucking clothes!

You remove your dress. Rollins still stands behind you. His hands now in your hair. You look at Rumlow, who is taking a couple of steps towards you. Suddenly Rollins takes a firm grip of your hair, yanks your head back.

– Everything!

You lift your arms to remove your underwear. But Rollins’ other hand grabs them before you can start.

– Too Late slut!

Rumlow is now all the way up in your face. Looking at you. Just like last time, he takes a grip of your chin

– You didn’t learn to listen last time, did you? You think flogging is the worst thing you can experience? Think again, fucking whore!

– I’m sorry! I’ll listen. I’ll take it off. I… I want you to do stuff to me…

Rumlow takes a hold of your throat. Just like last time. Holds just tight enough for you to get some air. Then he lets his lips touch yours. It’s not a kiss, not really. He just kinda talks literally all the way up in your face.

– Shut Up!

You don’t say anything. With Rumlows hold of your throat, you’re not even sure if you’ll be able to.

– That’s a good little slut! Keep your mouth shut, until we tell you to open it!

With that he lets go of your throat. And Rollins lets go of you as well, and moves so both of them stands in front of you. You feel like you’re on display.

– What did we tell you to do?

You don’t dare to answer. You don’t even dare to open your mouth. So you just remove your underwear. They’re not moving, they just looks at you. Even after you’re completely naked, they’re still just looks you up and down.

Rumlow turns away from you, goes over to the desk, and picks up two roses. What’s with these fucking roses? Rumlow then comes over to you, and hands you both the roses.

– Hold them!

You take the roses, carefully between your thumb and index finger, so you don’t hurt yourself on the thorns. Rumlow looks at you, and shakes his head.

– I said HOLD THEM!

You swallow. You still don’t dare to speak, so you can’t ask what he means by that. But, you don’t have to. Rumlow takes the roses from you again, and gives them to Rollins. Then he turns back to you.

– Open your hands!

You look down on your hands. Oh, so that’s what he ment. This is going to hurt. You’ll bleed for sure. These guys are even more crazy than you thought. You swallow again, but you don’t dare to disobey Rumlows orders. If you do they will overpower you in milliseconds, and probably hurt you even more than the roses will do. You open both your hands, then they both put a rose in each of your hands. The thorns digging into your skin right away. You try to hold back the whimpers of pain. But you’re not sure if you managed.

– Now close them!

You take a breath, before you close your hands. Fuck this hurts. You can feel the blood dripping from your hands. How long are they going to have you do this? You look from one rose to the other one. You try to stand still. The pain makes you want to let go of the roses, but you don’t want to know what the punishment for doing that will be. So you keep your hands where they are.

– Spread your legs!

Rollins again. Thank God this show is moving forward. They can’t possibly have you hold on to these roses the entire night. Please have me do something else. Anything.

Romlow comes over to you again. Puts one hand on each of your thighs and forcefully spreads your legs. He’s so rough you almost lose your balance. Rumlow then lifts your arms a little higher.

– Keep them there! DON’T move!

Fuck. You’ve seen this in some of the porn you watched. Well, not with roses, but trays, glasses of water or other things. The deal is to hold a specific position while getting an orgasm. What are they going to use to give you one?

You don’t have to wait long. Rollins opens a bag, and takes out something, gives it to Rumlow. You can’t see what it is, because they’re facing away from you. Rumlow turns around and comes over to you. Holds a magic wand in front of your face.

– You know what this is?

You nod. They told you not to speak, so you don’t.

– What is it then?

– It’s a magic wand…

– Ever used one before?

You nod again. Of course you have. Are these guys so high on themselves that they think they are the only clients you have? There is a million people who uses these kinds of things. You included. You have one at home. You look at Rumlow, holding the device. You know what it does. So you already know you’re going to come. Does he also know that?

Rumlow sits down in front of you. You follow him with your eyes. Rollins still just looks at you. You try to tell if they’re turned on by this. But you can’t tell through their tactical gear. You can hear Rumlow turn the magic wand on, so you look back down on him. He laughs at you. Knowing they have complete control over you. You swallow. I have to keep my arms up. I have to keep my arms up.

– Now let’s see if we can make some magic, shall we!

@nekoannie-chan @bat-mar @late-to-the-party-81 @here4thefanfics @rip1009 @there-goes-thefighter @differenttyphoonwerewolf @saiyanprincessswanie @ladysif8

Check out the Escort To The Multiverse Masterlist HERE!

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[thiefofcrows]

Plotted starter for @therooftopsofketterdam

   For the first time in years, Kaz slept relatively peacefully. Rays of the morning sun trickled in through his window and, gradually, he stirred. When his eyes fluttered open, the events of the previous night hadn’t caught up with him yet, so not seeing Inej laying across from him didn’t initially strike him as worrisome. After a few long seconds, however, it all came flooding back, as did the realization that she had been here and she knew everything. Kaz had said things that he’d never even dreamed of saying out loud and he was glad for it.

   Inej had been here, she'd come back to warn him about Pekka Rollins' return — he still needed to piece together the intricate details of the loose plan outlined in his head. After all, he'd known the man he'd finally brought to his knees would return eventually and Kaz had mapped out various scenarios for when he would. However, Pekka Rollins had taken his sweet time and it had made Kaz begin to consider that perhaps he would stay away for good, but ... of course, he was wrong. Still, he could push those thoughts onto the back burner for now as he wanted to bask in the fact that Inej had returned and, despite her long time away, she still wanted him.

   The previous night, he'd held her, he'd even kissed her like he'd fantasized about doing for years. He'd shown her what he'd built in place of the Menagerie and, to his relief, it had meant as much to her as he'd hoped it would. Now, however … the realization that, while she’d fallen asleep curled against him last night, she was no longer beside him and it sent surges of emotion through him, one after the other — panic, confusion, the deep loneliness Kaz had become so accustomed to … it all tried to swallow him whole. Not only had Inej set off, but so had the others. Jesper and Wylan had always been near by, but … they had their own lives to live.

   He jerked upright and let his eyes sweep over the room, seeking to find her hiding within the shadows, hoping his groggy senses hadn’t picked up on her presence, but … Inej wasn’t here. Where had she gone? Had she decided to leave after all and if so, what would that mean? Kaz’s mind cycled through the possibilities for a solid few seconds before he heard a faint sound somewhere behind him and he twisted around to glance at the window — and it was just in time to catch sight of Inej climbing through, the morning sun shining behind her. A slow, heavy breath escaped him as he felt a sweeping sense of relief … and a sense of embarrassment that he’d gotten so worked up when all she’d done was leave to fetch some breakfast.

   Kaz caught her eye and the sheer warmth he exuded in her direction … it was just as unusual for him as he was sure it was for her to see first thing in the morning. A lazy smirk curled at the left side of his mouth, one dark brow arching as his gaze briefly left hers to regard what she’d brought along with her. ❝Peckish already?❞ He asked, his voice lower and more rough than usual with sleep.

[lesbenson]

thoughts on olivia benson and loneliness

first thing that kills me is the ongoing thing of liv having to tell the people in her life how to love her and what she needs when elliot just instinctually Knew

like liv telling brian “take care of yourself. and Me”

and when mike dodds is in the hospital and ed is like “can i get you a coffee or something” and liv just asks him to stay there with her . and he’s like i’m not going anywhere. it’s so simple but it makes me so sad she literally just wants someone to be there for her and she keeps having to ask for it

i noticed this with her boyfriends first but there’s also the ep where sheila kidnaps noah and barba asks liv if she wants a coffee and she starts sobbing and says “i just want my boy”

like she doesn’t want to ask you to go get her a coffee she wants what elliot would do which is already have a coffee for her and say something either comforting or absolutely nuts

and it’s not even the fault of any of these people it’s just this glaring reminder that there was a person who could see into the depths of her soul but also just knew how to be there for her in ways that were quiet and easy and she doesn’t have that

and speaking of elliot “i was afraid if i heard your voice i wouldn’t have been able to leave” makes me feel insane. like yeah we know he means this as an apology and an admission of guilt and cowardice but it also kills me bc like. liv would’ve absolutely tried to convince him to stay but the part of that line that feels like he’s blaming her for how he left is so GAHHHHH it all goes back to how elliot’s love for liv has to be everyone else’s fault bc he doesn’t know how to deal with it. i also picture liv thinking “you could’ve told me you were leaving and told me not to talk you out of it and that would’ve been better than vanishing” and the fact that she never really responds to that elliot line keeps me up at night

also the parallels between barba leaving and thanking liv for how much she opened his heart and peter leaving bc he viewed that level of emotion as a weakness she was bringing out in him makes me feel so BAD it’s like they’re both telling her she’s the reason they have to leave but for one of them it’s a gift and for one of them it’s a curse and all liv knows is she keeps getting left behind and usually by men who don’t know what to do with all the love she makes them feel

all of this has been swimming around in my brain for awhile but “amanda ‘ask for forgiveness rather than permission’ rollins telling liv she needs her to be okay with amanda leaving svu” was the final straw. because why was that the first time someone gave liv the space to miss them and still support their choice. i hate it here

[wrasslinimaginesv2]

Wound Care, Chapter One (Seth Rollins x Katerina)

“There’s no use in arguing this, Rollins. We’ve already contacted one of the best home health agencies and arranged for a private nurse to come care for you while you heal. The less you stress and the less you strain your body, the better. It’s best for you, and more importantly, it’s best for business.”

Best for business. Fucking Hunter, he thought. Seth was certain he could manage on his own.

He had his crutches, his medicine, and his meals prepared and sent to his home. That’s all he needed.

He didn’t need to be on his feet for long and insisted that the time would fly by and he would be better than ever in no time.

Of course, WWE doesn’t work that way. What WWE wants and needs is their top performers performing. Unfortunately, the injury and surgery have already taken him out for longer than they’d like. They’re trying to ensure that he heals and is back in the ring as soon as possible.

The last thing he wanted was someone else in his home all day, babying him.

He hasn’t bruised and broken his body all this time to need help now.

“Hunter, I appreciate it, really. But my friend, I will do just fine on my own. Please. Hear me out. It might even prolong my healing if there’s somebody stressing me out all day. You know I like my alone time.”

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter. It’s been settled. She will be there in a few short hours. This is important for the company and for your career. We need you to get better fast. Please take this seriously.”

Seth let out a loud groan. He was no longer interested in continuing this conversation. It clearly was not going his way and was only annoying him further.

“Keep me posted. Her name is Katerina, that’s all I know. Good luck.” Hunter continued, before hanging up.

Great. He can’t fight this. Instead of healing privately, he now has to share his home with some stranger for the majority of the day. He didn’t understand the need for this, as he was perfectly capable of moving around with his crutches.

This injury upset him, but he was slightly happy about finally being able to relax in his own home. Alone, preferably. It’s not like he dreaded company or other people, but being a pro wrestler and hearing that others believe that you need babying is somewhat of a slap in the face. The lifestyle and occupation is not for the faint of heart, so clearly, those who have picked it and succeeded at it manage perfectly fine on their own. In fact, they may even function better on their own. Since being alone was no longer in the books for him, he decided that it was best to nap for the remaining peaceful few hours that he had left.

A buzzing phone and knocks at the door woke Rollins right up.

It’ll be fine, he told himself. Don’t stress, he told himself.

He managed to get himself up, albeit slowly, and secured his crutches before making his way to the front door. He let out a small sigh before unlocking the door and slowly opening it. He had no idea why he had never considered the fact that his nurse might actually be very pleasant to be around.

There stood a five foot five, petite brunette wearing matching baby pink scrubs. She had her dark hair up in a messy, yet somehow put together bun, with two shorter, wavy pieces of hair loose in the front, framing her soft, yet defined face.

“Hey, you’re Katerina, right?” He finally managed to get out, trying his best to somewhat step over to the side to give her some room to enter.

“Correct, Mr. Rollins.” She nodded, holding onto her tote nervously.

He was confused as to how she was supposed to help him. Or how much she could help him, really. There wasn’t much for him to do, anyways. The only thing he struggled with was moving around. How was she supposed to help in that department? There’s no way she could help him move around, given how much smaller she was than him. He could probably still squat her, even with his fucked up knee. It makes more sense for him to take care of her, injured or not.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when she walked past him and made her way inside. The first thing he noticed was her perfume. It was musky, yet extremely sweet and soft.

“Can I place my bag here?” She asked him, referring to the dining room table.

“Yeah, go right ahead.” He nodded, closing the door behind him.

“You should sit down. I’ll enter by myself next time, if you can give me a set of keys. I don’t think it’s good for you to move around unless it’s absolutely necessary. Your boss told me that I’m going to be here most of the day. We’ll part ways at the end of the night and I’ll be back here by morning to help you with breakfast. Once you’re past the most difficult phase of healing and you’ve made it to physical therapy, I won’t need to be around as often, if at all.”

The only part that he listened to was her recommendation of sitting down, as his knee was already starting to throb.

“I mean this in the kindest way, Katerina, but you’re not getting keys to my house. I just met you. My boss says a lot of things. I’m fine, I assure you. I got up just fine, as you saw, to get the door for you. They’re just being annoying. If you want, I can tell him that you’re here all day and you can just stay at home. I really don’t need a nurse.”

She appeared to be a kind girl, but all those words that left her mouth were already suffocating him.

“You know, a lot of people in your position would love to have somebody taking care of them.” She noted, pulling out various supplies from her tote. “I was told that the last time you had wound care was during your post operative appointment a few days ago. The bandages need to be kept clean if you’re looking to avoid an infection and an even longer healing period.”

“Okay, so then drop by and do bandage changes every few days and I’ll tell my boss that you’re here all day.” He offered, as he watched her pull out wound wash spray, ointment, and a fresh change of bandages.

“Mr. Rollins, I very much appreciate this opportunity given to me by my agency. It’s not one that I take lightly. I have worked incredibly hard and being offered the position of caring for an athlete as established as you means a lot to me. I have no interest in playing games and lying. I’m here to do a job and to do it well. I’ll leave it at that.”

Katerina was growing slightly annoyed, even though she had just met him. She was there to care for him and he was hesitant and in a rush to sort out some shady deal with her just to get her out of there.

“You think I’m established?” Seth teased.

Katerina ignored his comment. He knew exactly what she meant.

“I’d really prefer if you could lay down on your bed so that I could change your bandages. I need more room than the couch to be able to lay something underneath your knee to prevent getting the couch messy. It’ll also help me if you could extend your leg properly.”

She watched him reluctantly grab his crutches again. She walked over to him, gently placing her arm around his waist from behind so that she could help him walk over to his room.

Seth refrained from laughing, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she really thought that she’d be able to help him if he did lose his balance or needed assistance moving around. He was over two hundred pounds. If he had to guess how much she weighed, it would probably be a hundred twenty, maximum.

Once he was settled down on the bed, she disappeared for a moment only to return with all of her supplies.

“Do you think that you can pull the leg of your sweatpants up past your knee?”

He thought about it for a moment, but knew it’d hurt to do so given the fact that his sweatpants tapered at the bottom. The pressure of bunched up fabric near his knee was something he was not interested in.

“If I knew you’d be here today changing my bandages, I’d have worn shorts.”

She watched him lift himself up off the bed for a moment just to get the waistband of his pants down his hips. She realized what he was doing and immediately felt her cheeks warming up. It’s not that she hasn’t been in situations like these before, but he intimidated her, and even more so now.

“I can help if you’d like.” She moved closer, replacing the hands tugging down his sweatpants with hers. She was extremely careful moving the thick fabric down his legs, especially once she got near his knee. Once the injured knee was exposed, she got to work.

“I’m going to be as gentle as possible.” She assured him, gently unwrapping the old bandages. She was extra careful unwrapping his knee, not wanting to tug on any of the stitches that might have adhered to the gauze underneath the wrap.

“So, how long have you been doing this?” Seth asked her, his eyes drifting back and forth between his knee and her. She looked quite young and that left him wondering about how much experience she really had.

“I’ve been working for a few years now. I graduated high school a year early and immediately got to work on my nursing program.” Katerina answered. “Thankfully, I did really well and was offered a job immediately after graduating. It rarely happens, because my agency is the best and prefers to hire nurses with more experience.” She looked up at him for a moment and gave him a small smile. “Now, I’m here changing your bandages.”

Seth nodded. That’s cool, he thought. He didn’t understand the profession, as he wouldn’t ever want to be cleaning up someone else’s bloody and nasty bandages. But if she was happy doing so, then that’s great.

He really needed to figure out a way to make her agree to leaving for most of the day.

Maybe she could spend that free time picking up another home health job and making double the money.

He watched her carefully wrap his knee back up. He had to admit, she was a lot more gentle than those who had helped him prior back at the doctor’s office.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you.” She spoke up, pulling the underpad out from underneath his knee and rolling it up so that she could dispose of it.

“No, you’re good. You were gentle. Thank you.”

“Oh, I’m glad. Our agency doesn’t allow us to dispose of things inside the patient’s home. Something about them not wanting the patient to feel like their home is a medical setting. We have to throw everything away in trash bags provided to us. We then take these with us once we leave and dispose of them at our agency office.” Katerina informed him, wanting him to become familiar with how things work. His boss had chosen a great nursing agency to work with, she thought.

After tossing the underpad in the trash bag, she pulled off her gloves and tossed those, too.

For the first time since she had arrived, he paid close attention to her hands. Her nails were trimmed short. Makes sense, he thought. They were perfectly square, and surprise, surprise, painted baby pink. The girl sure loves her pink, he thought to himself.

“Mr. Rollins, do you prefer I wash my hands in the kitchen sink or can I use the restroom?”

“You can use my bathroom. It’s actually that door right there.”

Katerina nodded. She wrapped up the trash bag well and placed it by the door before heading towards the restroom. Seth watched her as she turned on the lights and turned on the faucet. She placed a finger underneath the running water, but quickly pulled it away. As she was waiting for the water to warm up, Seth took the time to study the rest of her.

He didn’t want to behave like a typical male, but he had been stuck at home for quite a while. Plus, she was going to be around constantly. It’s not like he wasn’t going to notice her as she helped out around the place. He can’t just avoid her from the neck down and only see her face, right?

At first glance, she looked petite. Now, it was very evident that she had curves, even though her frame was small. Her top half was still a bit of a mystery, as her top was not as form fitting as her bottoms.

Once he no longer heard the water running, he tried to clear his head.

Studying her for a few short moments made it extremely difficult to now focus on anything else.

My pants, he thought. He still hadn’t pulled them up yet.

He tried to reach down to grab the waistband of his sweats, which was now resting at his ankles.

“Hey, I can help.” He heard Katerina. She was now speed walking towards him. He was cursing at himself in his head. He tried to keep himself as covered as possible, even though he knew there was no hiding it once she got closer and helped him out.

Katerina was quick to reach Seth. She gently moved his sweatpants back up his legs, making sure to be very careful near his knee, again. She had just made it past his knees, when her eyes landed on his crotch. She really hoped that he didn’t notice her blush, for the second time today. Other than her own body exposing her, she pretended to not notice. She didn’t want to make him feel bad. She also didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. It isn’t the first time this has happened to her. She was doing a great job at convincing him that she didn’t notice, until her fingers brushed up against it as she helped him finally pull his sweats back up over his hips.

Almost. It almost went perfectly, she thought to herself.

“I, I’m sorry.” She immediately blurted out. “I didn’t mean to touch you. It was an accident.”

He was about to respond before she continued.

“I’m going to take this trash to my car and be right back.”

He was relieved that she thought to disappear for a moment, as he had no idea what to say. If he had controlled his greedy eyes, this would’ve never happened.

Rollins grabbed his crutches and helped himself up, making his way back over to the living room.

Laying down on a bed was doing his unfortunate situation no service.

He sat down on the couch and turned his attention over to his phone.

He began typing out a text message.

Hunter. Do you have any idea what trouble you’ve sent to my house? It hasn’t even been an hour and I can’t think straight around her. I don’t need a nurse, please sever this arrangement.

Katerina returned the second he pressed send. He placed his phone down, turning his attention back over to her.

“Did it hurt a lot?” She asked, sitting down on the couch straight across from him.

Great. Now she was in his line of sight.

[saiilorstars]

Hearts’ Limits

Ch.9: The Perfect Couple?

Fandom: SVU; Sonny Carisi x OFC

Current Masterlist // Emilia’s Masterlist

taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​ @arrthurpendragon​ @anotherunreadblog​ @maaaaarveeeeel​ @stareyedplanet​ @averyhotchner​ @foxesandmagic​

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Saturday morning, Emilia woke up dreading her entire existence. She didn't sleep that well given what was supposed to be happening today. Despite coming up with what she believed was an airtight excuse for Sonny's absence, it was still nerve-wrecking having to go through with it. A whole lunch hour dedicated to lying through her teeth about a boyfriend she didn't have.

She even had to look the part.

She did her makeup, straightened her hair, and put on a simple nice white dress. She felt so ridiculous. This was a glorified dress up game.

Be there in fifteen.

Raelyn.

Emilia checked the time again after rereading the text. Raelyn texted her about ten minutes ago so she had to be close enough by now. Emilia grabbed her purse from her bed and walked out the room. Just as she came into the living room, there was a knock on the door.

Must have zoomed down the streets just for this thing. Emilia could picture her older sister driving at light speed just to get to her earlier and prod her with more stupid questions.

"I'm coming Raelyn!" Emilia groaned before opening the door. To her outstanding shock, Raelyn wasn't on the other side.

God keeps punishing me. It was the only plausible reason why Sonny would be standing in front of her right now.

"Hey," he greeted her with that charming smile Emilia tried her darn best not to feel gushy about.

"H-hi," she managed to spit out a moment later. "Um, you're...you're off duty today…"

"I am," Sonny agreed, "But I told Rollins she could take off today. She has a little girl, you know. Thought they would enjoy some quality time together instead."

"So you're...you are...going to...you're following me today?" Emilia felt like the air was leaving her lungs much too quickly. Things were already tricky enough when she thought she would have Detective Rollins tailing her today but at the very least Emilia knew Amanda wouldn't make anything out of a family lunch. It was a whole other story knowing Sonny would be the one tailing her instead.

"Following, keeping an eye on you, taking you to your parents lunch, all the same isn't it?" Sonny smiled much too widely and mischievously for Emilia to ignore the sense of dread washing over her.

He knows.

"I am so sorry," the words tumbled out of her mouth. It was the first thing she could think of and the only things she knew she could say while she sorted out her embarrassment. "I swear I thought that Raelyn would keep her mouth shut."

Sonny at least chuckled in a good natured manner. "I'm honestly not surprised. My sisters have big mouths too." He counted a point for himself when Emilia smiled at his comment.

"I don't think they'd like to know you're saying that about them…"

"Probably," agreed Sonny. He took in a breath and gestured he was ready. "What do you need me to do?"

Emilia blinked with terribly wide eyes. "What?"

"I want to make this as easy as possible for you," Sonny said, "So what do you need me to do?"

"Huh?" Emilia shook her head. "No! Hold on! You're not — you don't have to do anything for me! In fact, how did you even find out!?"

There, Sonny seemed more reluctant to talk about. "Um...Alice...sort of told me…"

In her own spectacular way, Alice had told him about Emilia's situation and how stressed it had Emilia. Sonny didn't need anything else to know how true that was. Emilia had finally snapped under all the pressure of her case and Raelyn's inability to keep quiet. It was no wonder Emilia yelled at all of them yesterday. Sonny couldn't let it continue if he had the power to help. According to Alice, he did have a way to help.

'Pretend to be her boyfriend or whatever she needs.'

Alice offered good advice albeit in a series of invasive questions Sonny preferred not to think about too much at the moment. His face was prone to be easily red if he flushed and if he thought about whether or not he wanted to take Emilia on a date, he would be sure to flush.

"Okay, so I'll be adding Alice to my hitlist, right after Raelyn," Emilia said with what she knew was the most awkward smile she had ever produced. She turned away from the door and walked a few steps away.

This cannot not be happening. Emilia's eyes shut tight as she worked to control the angry tears in her eyes. Her hands balled into fists that she brought over her head.

"Emilia," Sonny stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He could tell Emilia was reaching her point again.

"I'm sorry!" She insisted.

"Hey, it's not a big deal—"

"Yes it is!" Emilia spun around. "Everything about this is a big deal! It's horrible! And I'm really sorry I sucked you into it!"

"You didn't," Sonny tried to say but Emilia scoffed. "You didn't. Did you call me over?"

"No, but Alice told you everything."

"She didn't force me. Rollins was supposed to be here but I called her and switched days with her. Nobody forced me to do anything. I'm here for whatever you need." Sonny gestured to himself as persuasive as possible.

Emilia almost laughed. He looked kind of goofy. "No you're not…" She said softly, "You don't have to."

"What do you need, Em? Just tell me," Sonny insisted. "I can drop you off and you can tell them I got a case I needed to go to. That way they'll at least see my face and you're off the hook."

"You'd do that?" Emilia asked, her nose scrunching. That sounded so inconvenient for him.

"Yeah," nodded Sonny, "And then I'll just stay far behind to keep an eye on you."

Emilia let out a heavy sigh. "I mean...I guess that would work. That's what I was planning on anyway."

"Really? I thought you would've said we broke up or something…"

"That was the original plan but then I realized my parents would ask me a ton of questions and I don't want to do that."

"Alright, so let's do it my way then. Quick drop off."

Emilia nodded. "That would be great. Thank you so much."

Sonny smiled down at her. "Of course. Now please just breathe. You look fantastic, by the way."

Emilia blushed on the spot. Her hands instinctively went to pat her dress down. "Thanks…" She took a peek at Sonny too and decided that he too looked good today.

He looks good everyday. Emilia blushed harder. A plain white button-down shirt and black pants should not have this effect on her. It really shouldn't. And yet here she was.

"You ready to go?" Sonny asked, deciding that even though he could truly stare at Emilia for hours, (and he technically did for his job), her parents were probably waiting for her.

"Y-yeah," Emilia nodded. "Let me just get my purse…" She looked around for her purse until she realized it was still hanging from her wrist. "Oh! Um…" She truly wished the ground would swallow her right now.

Sonny saw nothing embarrassing, however. He merely chuckled and told her she could make a fantastic detective. That earned him a good laugh. He really loved hearing that. It was a startling realization but one he could easily forget about when Emilia produced the very thing he loved to hear.

The two headed back for the door only to bump into Raelyn herself on the other side.

Oh c'mon! Emilia was ready to burst into tears with this horrible luck she seemed plagued with.

Raelyn was incredibly ecstatic with her luck. "Hey!" She greeted them with a wide grin. "Don't tell me Emilia forgot I was picking her up?"

Fortunately, Sonny was quick on his feet and played it off with a simple answer. "I wanted to surprise her."

"Oh, did you just get out of work?" Raelyn made the wrong presumption and thus ruined the little plan Emilia and Sonny had worked on minutes before. "That's great! What luck, huh?" Raelyn's eyes fell over her sister and noted Emilia's clear disappointment. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Emilia managed to answer without completely exhibiting her shaking voice. "Just...surprised." Badly surprised.

"Well then I guess we should all go," Raelyn said, "Obviously I will go on my own. Next time give me a heads up!" She joked with Sonny, the latter only able to smile for the moment. "See you in a couple minutes."

While Emilia didn't outright say anything, Sonny felt her hand squeezing his arm unbearably tight. Somehow she made it until Raelyn was safely away in the elevator.

"We're screwed!" She cried.

"Emilia—"

Emilia's hands flew to her head. "This is getting worse! And I haven't even seen my parents yet!"

"Okay, okay, okay! Let's try and calm down!" Sonny reached for Emilia's hands.

"How!?" Emilia exclaimed. "It just keeps getting worse!"

"Okay, but it's nothing we can't solve!"

"How are you so optimistic right now!? I'm dragging you through the mud!"

"No you're not!" Sonny said, finally able to take Emilia's hands. "But you really need to calm down. It's nothing we can't handle!"

"How?" Emilia insisted. "How are you so calm — I'm literally making things worse!"

"You're not!" Sonny assured her. He squeezed Emilia's hands to keep her still. "Things are bad but, like I keep saying, it's nothing we can't solve. Not the end of the world if we have to...pretend for a bit."

Emilia blinked slowly. She was trying to calm down, she really was. She couldn't go see her parents the way she was right now. She had to think clearly and as such, she had to listen to Sonny's words. "You...you're willing to pretend?"

"It's not the most convenient thing but it'll be okay." Sonny had no idea how he was going to pretend but if it meant helping Emilia out then he would figure a way to do it.

"But won't you get in trouble?"

Sonny preferred not to think about what Olivia would say if she found out he went on a pretend lunch date with Emilia. It would be bad...to say the least. But looking at Emilia made all that worry and dread vanish. It didn't matter. She needed him — his help. She needed his help.

"We'll just keep it to ourselves," he said, "Nobody's going to know. I'm supposed to be watching you anyways. It'll be okay, trust me."

Emilia let out a breath. "If you say so. But I'm warning you that my family can be…" She didn't even have the words to describe how her family could be.

Luckily, Sonny still understood. He raised three fingers in the air. "Three sisters, Em. Believe me, I've seen it all."

Emilia managed to smile. On another day, she might start asking more questions about those sisters of his. You're assuming Sonny will want to see you after this dreadful lunch. She winced at herself. Yeah, that was a bad assumption. She might not know everything about being a detective but she was sure that Sonny could get into serious trouble doing this.

"Ready?" Sonny gestured towards the elevator.

"No, but I'll follow you anyways," Emilia admitted.

"It'll be okay, you'll see." Sonny would insist with his assurances all the way down to the car.

He was pretty good at that, Emilia would admit to herself. There was something about him that just radiated comfort. She could retreat in that and hopefully get by with it at lunch.

"We'll have to agree on some things before we get there," Emilia said halfway on the ride to the restaurant. It was already embarrassing enough, might as well get it all out there.

"Right," nodded Sonny, "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, knowing my parents, my mother in particular, she's going to want to know how we, um, happened…" Emilia could already see her mother getting animated with each of her questions. She didn't want them to be blindsided.

"Okay, well, we told your sister we met at your job so we'll stick with that," Sonny said.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Emilia nodded quickly. She'd forgotten that bit already. "Um, well my sister knows you're a detective so we'll say you were there for a case and leave out the fact it was my case…"

Sonny agreed. He drove silently for a few seconds before speaking again. "You still don't want to tell them about the case, then?"

"No," Emilia said immediately. It was about the only thing she was sure of. "They don't need to worry about that. Besides, it's not like the case is going anywhere."

Although Sonny knew she hadn't meant to insult, it was hard not to feel responsible. The case was getting progressively cold. Soon, they would have to stop tailing Emilia altogether and put her case to the side while new active cases came up.

Emilia glanced at the silent driver beside her. It may have taken her a while to figure out the weight of her words but she figured it out. "I'm sorry. I didn't think — I didn't mean to say—"

"Don't worry about it," Sonny told her, "You're right. The case is, well, not going the way we hoped but it doesn't mean that we'll stop searching. I won't stop." The case would sit on his desk until it was solved.

Emilia smiled at him. She wondered how the hell she got so lucky to meet him. For a split second, she allowed herself to lament the fact they would never amount to anything together. As soon as the second passed, she looked away.

Sensing that she was getting sucked back into the darkness, Sonny purposely asked more questions regarding their supposed background.

"We should probably give each other the rundown of our background before we go in. That way they'll think we actually know each other."

Emilia let out a small, sarcastic laugh. "Didn't you guys already comb through my life from the start?"

This time Sonny knew it was a well hearted joke so he allowed himself to chuckle. "Okay, but humor me."

Emilia shook her head with a big smile on her face. "I don't know what you want me to tell you that's new."

"Your favorite food, for starters?"

"Umm, Chinese?"

"Don't say it in a question! What's your favorite food?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes!"

"It's soup, alright? I really love chicken noodle soup." Emilia felt like a child admitting to it. She even crossed her arms like one.

"Seriously?" Sonny did her the favor of not laughing but it was clear on his face that he really wanted to. "Why?"

"Because I used to get sick a lot as a kid and my mom made the best soup to make me feel better. It's actually a family recipe. I still don't know it though."

"That's sweet," said Sonny, "So you got sick a lot?"

Emilia nodded. "I have a low immunity system. I'm always taking vitamins for reinforcements."

"Ah, see? There's something I didn't know about you!"

"Well yeah, it's not glamorous or anything."

"But it's about you and I want to know it."

Emilia hated that she couldn't control her body. So what if Sonny had said 'wanted' instead of 'needed'. It didn't mean a thing. He needed to know stupid details like this to fool her parents.

"What else is there?" asked Sonny. "Anything, Em. Seriously."

Emilia sighed, raising her head up. "I don't know. My favorite color is turquoise because my favorite animal is a Peacock."

"That's definitely unusual," Sonny commented, "Everyone always says a dog or a cat."

"I'm allergic to dogs," Emilia said quickly. "That's probably something you'll need to know."

"Got it. No imaginary dogs in this scenario," Sonny nodded. Emilia playfully rolled her eyes at him.

"I hate mushrooms, especially on pizza."

"What? What do you mean!?" Sonny shot Emilia an indignant glance. "They're good!"

Emilia laughed. "No! They look disgusting!"

"Haven't you ever heard not to judge a book by its cover?"

"Yeah, but these aren't books. I hate them!"

"That's terrible. That can be a source of disagreement, you know. We need that too."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, otherwise it's not believable."

"I thought perfect couples didn't fight?"

"Oh, so you want us to be the perfect couple?" Sonny gave Emilia a certain teasing look that brought on an embarrassed flush on her face. Sonny found it incredibly adorable and even more so due to the subject.

Emilia looked at the passenger's window whilst trying to come up with a decent response that wouldn't put her deeper in the hole she created. "I mean…isn't that the whole point of anybody pretending to go out? Be as convincing as possible…"

"Yeah," nodded Sonny, "But even perfect couples argue once in a while. It's impossible not to."

"You sound like you say that from experience." Emilia found courage to look at Sonny again, but the source of it made her feel a little funny. "I'm sorry, I never asked, are you currently seeing someone? I wouldn't want you to get into trouble—"

"Don't worry about it," Sonny assured her, "I told you I was single when Raelyn saw us together, remember?"

"Oh, yeah…" Emilia scratched the side of her head, "You're so right but…that doesn't mean you're not casually seeing somebody or even possibly trying to go after someone and I would never want to cause problems for you." She was saying too much and she needed to shut up before the images of what she said started popping in her head. They wouldn't be nice things to see nor think about.

It also didn't help that Sonny had fallen strangely silent.

Emilia's heart started hammering. She didn't know what was worse: having gone too far with what she said or being right about what she said. Neither choice made her feel good. You have got to get a hold of yourself, she berated herself.

While she fell deeper into the abyss of her thoughts, she missed the glances Sonny stole of her. She missed the way his lips curved into a small, sad, smile and she missed the way he forced himself to stare directly ahead and pretend like all he did was drive.

"We're good," he spoke a few minutes later, albeit quietly. He may have stopped pretending that he didn't like Emilia but there was nothing he could do from there. It was out of his reach — she was out of his reach and that was that. As terrible as it was.

Emilia finally looked at him again. She startled him when her hand touched his arm. He gave her a brief glance before the streetlight flashed green.

"Thank you for doing this," Emilia said, finding it easier if he kept driving and looking ahead rather than looking at her. His eyes could be charming and yet dangerously captivating too. "I promise it'll be the first and last time you have to do this."

"It's no problem, Em," Sonny insisted. "We'll put on the best show we can." Like Emilia, he drew strength in the fact he could not look at her. It was easier for one of his hands to gently pat one of hers for a moment.

~ 0 ~

Emilia was eternally grateful that Raelyn had not caught up with them outside the restaurant. It gave her a few more minutes to go over things with Sonny.

"My parents can be very overwhelming. If you feel like it's too much at any point, give me a sign or something. A-a safe word!"

Sonny had to stop Emilia before she tripped on a crack on the ground. She smiled out of embarrassment but insisted he come up with a word to use in case he wanted out. In the end, Sonny went with "Alice" since she was the reason he found out about this lunch in the first place.

"But I'm not leaving until it's over," he warned her on their way in the restaurant. "Making a promise and I keep them."

"Still," Emilia insisted. "I see them." Her parents were having drinks with Raelyn.

"Oh, hey," Sonny stopped them suddenly. Before Emilia could ask him if he already regretted this, Sonny asked her something else. "What are their names?"

"What?" She blinked.

"Your parents! What are their names!?" It was only now that Sonny realized Emilia never mentioned her parents' names. That was something he would obviously have learned almost immediately after knowing her.

"Oh my God!" Emilia exclaimed. "I'm so sorry. I must have...I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright, happy we caught it before…"

"Still, I'm so sorry. It's Eliza and Dario Hartley. Seriously, I'm so sorry—"

"It's fine, Emilia," Sonny flashed Emilia a smile, much too warm for Emilia not to feel the butterflies in her stomach. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," she nodded despite feeling the exact opposite. She actually felt like throwing up.

Still, she turned with him and walked towards the table.

"Well it's about time!" Raelyn called as soon as she saw them. She raised her cocktail in the air. "I thought maybe you guys got lost or something making lovey-dovey eyes!"

There went the first shot.

Emilia smiled tightly. "Traffic is hell, Raelyn."

"We know that, sweetheart," their mother said sweetly. "Raelyn just loves making fun of you even though it's childish."

Raelyn smirked at her mother. "It's fun."

"Settle down girls," their father demanded, shooting Sonny an apologetic glance as he rose from his chair. "I promise you that our daughters are well behaved. Dario Hartley."

Sonny shook his hand, keenly aware how intently Emilia was watching them. He was sure she was beyond nervous than him, and with good reason. "Dominick Carisi. But everyone usually calls me Sonny."

"Alright," Dario said, then gestured to his wife, "This is my wife, Eliza."

Eliza stood up to shake hands next and smiled ever so sweetly. Sonny discovered this was where Emilia's smile came from. Eliza was a petite woman, giving the obvious image that her daughters had gotten their tallness from their father instead. However, Eliza had similar brunette hair like her daughters and the same brown eyes.

Dario, in turn, was a taller man with green eyes. He was thinning in the hair department but he still seemed sharper than ever. Even as they sat down with casualties, Sonny could feel the older man watching and studying his every move.

"Do you guys want to order already?" Eliza asked almost immediately after. "We got here a little too early and went for cocktails."

"That's fine," Emilia said too quietly.

"Are you alright, dear?" Eliza eyed her worriedly. "You seem a little pale."

"I've been, uh, fighting a cold." Emilia actually gave herself a point for coming up with that lie so easily and on demand.

"Are you sure it's not that job again?" Raelyn's inquiry had both their parents turning heads and questioning immediately.

"What happened at your job?"

"It was those parents again, huh?"

"Nothing is wrong," Emilia tried to say but her parents were going off on tangents already.

"I told you that you should've stayed at the other school," Dario was saying, "It paid less but at least you didn't have to deal with these parents so much."

"That's what happens when you try to be too greedy," Eliza remarked with a shake of her head.

"I was not!" Emilia exclaimed, flustered at the insinuation.

"You had a different job?" Sonny cut in if only to give Emilia a moment to breathe and perhaps to get the full story.

"Yes, before I switched to the one I'm at now," Emilia sighed. "I loved the kids but I didn't feel like I was being paid enough and then I found this job and I thought it was better. I didn't switch for greediness, I swear. I just—"

Sonny's hand found hers on the table, an act that he didn't think about. He just went for it out of instinct. "I get it. You're an amazing teacher and you deserve to be paid what you are owed."

Emilia smiled widely at him. All the nerves she felt had vanished in an instant.

"I think he's right," Raelyn said abruptly, "Emilia works her ass off for those kids. The least they can do is pay her well."

"Well of course we mean that," Eliza said, "We would never want Emilia to stay somewhere that doesn't appreciate her but it seems like this new job is causing her a lot of stress."

"Well then it's a good thing she's not alone anymore," Raelyn said before anyone else could.

Emilia sincerely wished her sister would stop talking.

"It is," Dario agreed, "Your mother, here, could sense there was something off. She tried calling you so many times but you never answered."

Sonny felt the moment Emilia stiffened. Their hands had yet to come apart.

"I just...had things to do…" Emilia said slowly. It wasn't a lie. She was doing things she never thought she would have to. Interrogations, memory exercises to identify my stalker…

"I know how glamorous having a new boyfriend can be but it wouldn't kill you to pick up the phone once in a while," Eliza said with a sarcastic huff.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Emilia said quietly. "I promise I'll pick up next time."

Seemingly satisfied, Eliza's eyes flickered between the alleged couple. "So how exactly did you two meet?"

"Work," Emilia and Sonny said simultaneously that they even surprised themselves with their synchronization.

"Do you both work in education?" asked Eliza curiously and before either could explain, Dario cut in.

"No, no, sweetie, he—" He pointed at Sonny, "—works in that Unit I told you about, remember?"

Once more, Emilia and Sonny were in perfect sync with their tilted heads.

"You know about the Special Victims Unit?" Sonny was the one to ask.

"I don't, but your group solved a case for one of my friends a few years back," said Dario.

"Dad, you never told me that," Emilia said quietly, now wondering which of his friends had been a victim.

"Well it's not something you go talking about, sweetie," Dario said before smiling at Sonny. "Well done, by the way."

Sonny could only half smile in return. "Ah, thank you but I don't think I could have helped. I only started working with SVU two years ago. I was with Homicides in Staten Island before that."

"Oh, that's a big change," Eliza said, "Do you like it better here then?"

Sonny nodded. "Oh yeah. I feel like I'm doing a lot more over here."

"Yeah, even scored yourself a girlfriend, huh?" Raelyn's smirk was wide as could be.

"I really hate you!" Emilia exclaimed exasperated, pulling her hand out from under Sonny's to threaten her sister with.

"It was a comment," Raelyn said with a roll of her eyes, "My little sister has a very poor sense of humor, as you can see. I hope you can look past that."

Sonny chuckled. This sort of thing reminded him of his sisters down to the T. "I think Emilia is funny when she wants to be. Her sense of humor is shaped by kindergarteners."

Emilia's head whipped in his direction, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Is that good or bad?"

"I think...it's nice," Sonny said, barely holding onto his next laugh. "Not everyone can handle what children have to say and I think you do a great job at it."

The suspicions were wiped clean by the butterflies in her stomach. Emilia found herself flushing without permission. "Thanks," she said a lot quieter than she planned on.

With those crazy feelings, it was a lot easier to focus on ordering rather than facing the culprit.

"You'll love the pasta here, Sonny," Raelyn said after giving up her menu to the employee. "I mean, it's probably not authentic but it's still pretty good."

"Emilia did mention that before coming," Sonny said, sparing a glance at Emilia. In the midst of information priming, Emilia had talked about the restaurant her parents chose. It was the restaurant they went to each Sunday as a family. "I know it's a special place for you guys so I'm really excited to try it."

"We're glad to hear it," Eliza smiled kindly.

"Sonny actually knows of a good restaurant with pasta," Emilia remarked, thinking back to the first restaurant Sonny took her to. "But he also claims to cook the best pasta too."

Sonny's eyebrows raised. She remembered that? It was an off-handed comment on the drive here. When Emilia glanced at him, he had the sudden urge to make the damn dish on the spot just to show her that he wasn't lying.

"Well that's not fair, innit?" Raelyn pretended to huff. "He's Italian. It's like us when we cook Feijoada."

"Fei— what?" Sonny asked, utterly lost.

"Feijoada," Raelyn said with a laugh. "We're Brazilian!"

"You're Brazilian?" The question left Sonny's mouth before he even thought of it.

Before Emilia answered, Raelyn cut in. "You didn't know that!? Emilia!?"

Sonny knew his mistake there on. He shouldn't have acted so surprised, much less ask like he hadn't known.

"We just started dating, Rae," Emilia said, doing her best not to get so shifty under the strange looks from her family. Of course that was something her boyfriend would know straight away. "It's going slowly, alright?"

"Sheesh, that slow?" Raelyn raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's a good thing!"

"We're good!" snapped Emilia. "God! Why are you in my business, Raelyn!?"

"Girls," Dario's sharp call silenced both of his daughters.

"Honestly, you two are acting like children!" Eliza shook her head.

"Raelyn needs to stop sticking her nose in my business — things are going slow and I like it like that," Emilia scowled. She only simmered when she felt Sonny's hand on her arm.

"It's alright, Em. I'm sorry—"

As soon as Emilia heard him start apologizing, she cut in. "No, no, it's not your fault. You know that none of this is your fault." She looked at Sonny with a kind smile, her hand coming over his on her arm. It's my fault.

Sonny could read the words in Emilia's eyes. Nothing was her fault. They were in on this together and by choice. Neither of them had to be there.

From there on out, Emilia worked twice as hard to keep herself and the fake relationship in check. She couldn't let her sister get to her, especially when Raelyn didn't even know she was doing it. Plus, she couldn't make things harder for Sonny. He was trying his best to work with her and her entire family.

He seemed to be doing a good job at it, though.

Emilia was in awe at how extra charming Sonny could be. She almost thought her parents liked him more than her. He was just so good at talking…

Among other things. Emilia felt butterflies in her stomach. She found herself staring at him more than often, just taking him in. On a couple of occasions, Raelyn nudged her knee under the table. Emilia was a bright red mess afterwards.

She couldn't see the end of the lunch date.

"Let me just use the restroom and we can go," Emilia said quietly to Sonny when they started getting up from the table. "I'll be fast, I promise."

Sonny chuckled as she hurried off.

"She has a bladder the size of a pea," Raelyn snorted.

"Raelyn," Eliza scolded her daughter. "My goodness, no wonder Emilia gets so agitated with you."

"Well thank you for coming to meet us," Dario said to Sonny, making it clear he was ignoring the argument on the side. "I know it's nerve wrecking but we really do appreciate it."

"Of course," Sonny nodded. There wasn't much he could say to that. He felt almost bad for lying to these people. They really did seem like honest loving parents.

"And we can just tell that Emilia really likes you."

"Oh yes," Eliza left whatever she was telling Raelyn to agree with her husband.

At that, Sonny had trouble staying at bay with. He smiled with what he knew had to be an awkward smile.

"Look," Dario started in a slightly quieter voice, "The last time Emilia dated someone, we thought it was going to be it, you know. It was serious — they were going for four years. We were all surprised when Emilia told us she ended the relationship. Badly, too."

"Really?" Not knowing about this alleged serious relationship put Sonny on edge and not for the detective side of him. No, he was pretty sure this was for him.

"Oh yeah," Raelyn nodded, "I thought Aaron was great but Emilia said otherwise."

"Aaron?" If Sonny remembered correctly, 'Aaron' wasn't the boyfriend Emilia told SVU about. In fact, he was pretty sure Amanda said the guy's name had been Jack instead.

"He used to work for this insurance company," Raelyn said, "Triple A?" Sonny nodded. "Something happened — Emilia never told us — but they ended it."

"And, uh, when did that happen?" Sonny asked.

"Last year."

"Oh…" Sonny hadn't known what to say to that but it so happened that Emilia returned.

"Okay, well, we have to go," she declared. On her way back to them,, she'd been thinking how best to say it without sounding forceful. Luckily, nobody protested.

"We'll see you around, sweetheart," Eliza hugged Emilia, "Take care of yourself, alright? Don't get so stressed over work." She looked over at Sonny afterwards, concerned. "She gets so stressed so easily. Please keep an eye on her."

"Of course," Sonny nodded. It wasn't a technical lie that he wouldn't be keeping a close eye on Emilia, just not for the reason Eliza thought.

Emilia had to rush them away once her father started proposing the idea of another get together. No way!

"Thank you so much," she told Sonny on the way back. It was the third time that she said it wouldn't be the last.

"Yeah, no problem," Sonny said rather quietly.

Emilia noticed his strange behavior almost immediately. She wondered if her family had been too much for him — it wouldn't be surprising. I pushed him too far.

Suddenly, the drive back seemed like the longest road trip Emilia had ever taken. No longer was it filled with conversations and soft laughs like the times before. Something changed and Emilia wished she knew what it was. She was too much of a coward to ask.

When they arrived back at the apartment, Sonny was still quiet. He helped Emilia out of the car but that was about as much as he made contact with her.

"The officers will be here tomorrow," he told her on their way into the building, "And then Amaro's on duty on Monday."

"Yeah, I pretty much figured out the schedule," Emilia said, trying to smile to see if Sonny would return one. He didn't. In fact, he led the way to the elevator instead.

In no time they were making their way down the hall to Emilia's door. Having no way to ask Sonny what was wrong, Emilia took her keys out to go inside and possibly throw herself on her bed for the rest of the day.

"Emilia?" Sonny said suddenly.

Emilia's head snapped in his direction, too fast. Her neck hurt but at that moment, she wouldn't dare spend a minute to think about it. "Yeah?"

"Um…" Sonny had tried his best all the drive back to come up with a way to directly ask Emilia about this 'Aaron'. He didn't want to sound like an intruding friend — he was a detective and that was the only thing he should be.

"Sonny?" Emilia's soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

If Sonny had paid more attention, he would've noticed how anxious Emilia looked. But, he was spiraling on his end. He gave a shake of his head, prompting disappointment to mark Emilia's face.

"Have a good rest of your day. Take it easy, okay?"

Emilia had no other choice but to nod. That was a polite way of ending whatever the hell this lunch had been. She supposed she couldn't be that selfish. Sonny had gone above and beyond to help her out. He didn't have to do any of the stuff he did today. He deserved a good break from her. And maybe that's what it was — a break. The thought genuinely hurt her stomach.

She really hoped that she hadn't messed up whatever kind of friendship this was between them.

[stupidcanofpeaches]

okay okay so i just finished s2 of shadow and bone and again i have a Lot of Feelings about the matter. if you haven’t watched it yet please please just scroll down and past this one immediately bc here there be spoilers. you’ve been forwarned.

and now, the Feelings.

first of all, the ending. man. i know that jurda parem was in the books which i haven’t really read yet but im really excited about it bc i know from osmosis that something happens to nina and also we get to see more of the fan favorite barrel rat kaz and the rest of the crows which im always happy to. secondly, the ending. the Ending. finally some corrupt the cutie. i mostly like alina even despite certain mary sue shades but goddamn her slowly starting to slip into something way too similar to kirigan? hell yeah. that little smile she has when she straight up cuts the woman in half with the shadow cut, like straight up just kirigan’s shadow cut? Neat. that’s really Neat. i want to see how it works out for someone who’d witnessed how hunger for power works but also has totally the best intentions. give me a hint that a character is about to go a little nutty and all of a sudden im way more invested in the plotline.

and, of course, kaz and inej. tear my heart out why won’t you. also just gonna say that i appreciate all the kaz whump in s2! im definitely rewatching the pekka rollins scene. you know the one. the i’m begging you. are you? scene. the best a man can be is bloodied and unhinged. he gasps beautifully. yes i feel like a maniac writing this. and the magic drug hallucination scene? that fucking transition from him falling back and then sinking into the water with his arms open hhhhggngngng. also yeah it’s a little funny how the other crows hallucinate something somewhat nice, like jesper seeing his mom and gaining the resolve to be himself, or inej seeing kaz the way she’d like him to be - open, without his armor, able to touch her - and then there’s kaz just straight up hallucinating his dead brother pretty much waterboarding him and attempting to murder him. if i wanted to, i could probably also go into some way too deep analysis here and suggest that people on magic plant drugs tend to hallucinate things they want badly, and that kaz definitely has some sort of survivors guilt and a secret death wish. but i won’t. and the waking up scene! god. good god. that fleeing little second where he goes still and stares up at her, and his eyes are suspiciously wet. inej’s finger doing this little circle on his temple in an attempt to soothe him. the moment the reality hits him and you can see his brows furrow and then he cringes and twists away and inej immediately lets go of him. my heart my heart man why do you have to do this to me. and yeah i might have watched this scene a few times too many. 

and the finale ughhhhhhh. i will have you without armor or i will not have you at all. the fact that the scene takes place in the chapel with the stained glass saint looming over them. my only complaint is that is somewhat came off as inej almost blaming kaz for uhhhh. being traumatized? him not wanting to touch people without some sort of barrier between them, and sometimes even with the clothes acting as said barrier, is quite literally an involuntary trauma response, one he cannot control consciously - seemingly he can somewhat work with this if it’s a life or death situation, but not always (as shown by the scene where nina drags him by the scruff of his neck off to pekka rollins, which, on purpose or not, probably was not enjoyable and im almost sure nina touched his neck in the process)/ maybe im just reading too much into stuff. and no im not blaming inej for this - god knows she earned the right to have an equal partner who can be open with her. but her leaving and the longing look kaz gives her....... and the way he clearly wants to say something different but hesitates and then kind of blurts out the stupid thing about wanting to die buried in all the money he will hoard one day...... the way he can’t help but flinch away as inej holds his gloved hand...... that deep exhale and the look in his eyes as she leaves......

somebody send help i want another season of preferably just crows. ive got the crows brain rot. 

also david noooo why couldn’t you hide together with genya??? good god i swear he could’ve survived but no genya was not spared by the narrative. also good on her for getting the opportunity to torch kirigan’s body. genya deserved better.  

[tenshusuto]

@solitariusdeluna : The ban was lifted, the visored went back, if this is not enough for him why didn't he go back? Is it because like Love he had no where to go back to now?

There are more reasons why Kisuke halts himself from returning back to Seireitei. His interest in soul society dried up with exile. In the world of the living, he established himself new motivation, ambitions, and peace. I can't exactly relate his reason to Love's, but ... well, let's take a look at some options he would likely pick if he ever thought about coming back. First. Where would he go? There are several places.

12th Division ( Jūnibantai, 十二番隊 ) without question is certainly the first place he would go, except -- Mayuri. Two of them used to create some amazing things together, but that was in past. When Mayuri was still fresh out of prison and with no real option but to adjust, take what was given, and wait for his turn with S.R.D.I. Kisuke claims they are on good terms, but they are actually very questionable and he knows it. Would Mayuri accept him back when he can barely handle his presence for 5 minutes straight? And it's obvious he wouldn't hold the same position as before now that Kurotsuchi finally has his hands on Gijutsukaihatsu Kyoku. As someone, who is not accounted Captain anymore, he also wouldn't necessarily want his return to be linked with stealing someone's position. The question is what position he would hold? He knows his ways around Mayuri, and with little aid of his witscraft, he would likely try to bargain himself a spot back at S.R.D.I. but according to how his experiments with Hōgyoku went ( and I am certain Mayu-chan is displeased with the fact Kisuke kept knowledge of its existence away from him ) Mayuri wouldn't let the opportunity slip past his fingers and would likely assign him somewhere where he would constantly be under his watchful eye. As much as I would love to say that Kisuke would gladly think about restoring old cooperation ... at some point, he would, but he can't confidently say he would be welcome there. And if you have a choice, why would you risk your newly obtained freedom and go somewhere when you're unsure about that?

2nd Division ( Nibantai, 二番隊 ) Then we have the former affiliate. A place he knows profoundly and which used to be his home for decades under the patronage of Shihōins. But the Captain there is now /Soi Fon/, a boulder in the way who never hid her open disfavor about his character because of all drama that happened around Yoruichi; and not just that she just dislikes him, in general. What is the probability that she will accept him? Very unlikely, and if she miraculously would, it's not like Urahara himself would be worried she the angry bee would make his life a living hell ( oh, she sure would) - but she would also be in his way. And Kisuke certainly does not wish to strain himself with extra hassle of shedding a tingle of pinching sting on his nape over and over for independent deliberation of his choices ( like he used to do during Yoruichi's Capitancy ) & daily scheming how to prevent that from happening; including some drastic scenarios because he knows that anything less than drastic wouldn't work. Something for laugh: ( paradoxically I love Soi Fon so much and lyrics from Chamillionaire's Ridin' seem kinda accurate here lmao ; They see me rollin', They hatin', Patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin' dirty. Imagine Soi Fon hiding in the bushes with gleaming eyes. sjdhjshd) There's nothing scarier than wrath of a vengeful woman. Ok, let's see next.

4th Division ( Yonbantai, 四番隊 ) Then we have Yonbantai? Yonbantai. Very sensible optimal option if previous plans failed. In fact, I don't see him having a problem with Isane or Unohana. Needless to mention, he would manage to find himself a spot there quite well because his skills in medicine are pretty ---'humbly speaking' ... solid, but predominantly he is a scientist and inventor, not a medic; I want to emphasize this ( and this shall also heavily feature in my headcanons and storylines ). It is only half compensation for the field in which he originally excels ( he's a genius but I can't make him perfect and he needs flaws too and I chose this one to be one of them ). However, it's kinda sad ( xD ) that you have to think about an entirely different Division to which you have not been connected anyhow except for tight ties in terms of cooperation between their fields.

5th Division ( Gobantai, 五番隊 ) A place conducive to success because Shinji's back, however, absolutely unfitting for the growth of his potential and abilities. Or perhaps? But at this point I can even hear Shinji's voice: 'you know I'd always welcome you here, but ... what do ya exactly imagine doing yourself 'ere, Kisuke?' ---- And in something, he has point. We don't have that much information about special duties of 5th squad except their members seem to be multifunctional and skilled in most things, and it contains Confinement Gaol. Therefore, if Shinji wouldn't let him scheme himself things on loose foot, he could ugh be something like Special Detention Cell supervisor? Or either occupy himself in Kidō recording / developing. Well, something like that, plus/minus.

That much if Kisuke came and went about several Divisions as he would if his fortune is good. With heart cold within him and burdened with tales of grief.

Everything twirls around one and the same thing: what would he do there on basis of interest. Not in terms of rank he doesn't care about them being high or low, he's very selfish in the aspect of responsibilities as he dislikes being responsible for anything else than himself, and with exile, it only deepened I fear.

Being a creative little goblin Kisuke sure wouldn't have that many issues occupying himself with various requisites while his capabilities, experience, intellect, and resourcefulness would make him eligibly desirable in most Divisions ... just - he himself is not sure about that. Mainly because he's not sure he wants to do things that he doesn't like anymore.

Besides, if I omit that Soul Society is militarized, and ridiculously overloaded with paperwork ( whispers: paperwork and inserts *scared Kisuke face* ) there are still remnants of old salt he was unable to scrub off himself regarding the Gotei system as a whole and management of central 46. It doesn't matter to him if the Visored went back. If he came back thither they would lead him to forced sacrifice he does not want. Still so - he is a firm believer that with Kyōraku in the head position, some things have a solid chance to improve, and he overly tries to ascend above it, but at the moment, it's still difficult for him on a subconscious level to draw a thick line over the barrier he is not prepared to cross.

Years of the past are perilous when you start from zero, now, he has more than zero a foundation to build on. Finally, there's no one in a higher position above him than himself, yeah, there's no luxury anymore, and he has to work his ass off and gather resources, but he has freedom; and that's the factor all luxury in Soul Society can't beat. Frankly, Gotei seems unanimous with Kisuke that having an 'ally' out of SS is not a bad idea. He traded Seireitei for Karakura and made it a part of his spider web where he is content.

Staying in the grey area as an independent freelancer, who can jump between two worlds with as much time as he wants dancing and whistling at his own whim with no one telling him to stop, is just much preferable than exchange his newly discovered freedom for a 'cell' you can't willingly leave. Chain days are long gone, Urahara Kisuke obeys commands only of Urahara Kisuke.

A fief-no-longer discovered an opportunity where his heart kindled with independence, thus it came to pass that Urahara forsook his ultimate idea of returning to Seireitei.

[4015benson]

The Beast’s Prey.

@6313stabler

“Liv?” Fin’s voice pulled Olivia from her thoughts, something she was admittedly grateful for. Because all day this case had consumed her. Thoughts of that... beast consumed her mind. One of the reasons she’d barely been home this week, one of the reasons she’d barely been able to rest these past few days. 

She was angry. Angry at William Lewis, angry at his Lawyer, angry at the judge. Though, she knew her anger towards the Judge was unfair because her declaration of a mistrial wasn’t exactly unfair given the cross contamination of the evidence and the lack of victim and witnesses. Was it maddening? Yes, but what choice did the Judge have? She did her job and based on the way she sounded and looked when giving her ruling, Olivia knew she didn’t like it either - having to set that beast free.

“Liv?” Rollins calls her name this time, actually breaking Olivia from her thoughts that she had slipped right back into.

“Uh, rain check. I’ve barely been home at all this week.” She finally answers, forcing a small smile, but the exhaustion in her eyes is real. 

“Well go home,” Cragen speaks up. “Stay there. Two days.” 

“Captain, that’s--” She started her protest, but her Captain put a stop to that immediately.

“Liv. That’s an order. You show up for work I’ll have you arrested.” His words stern, but his voice was soft - caring, understanding. He was looking out for her, just as he always did.

She flashes him a soft smile, grateful, and actually looking forward to the time off. Even if she didn’t want it per say, she needed it.  Though, the other reason she hadn’t been resting well, or wanting to be at home, was due to the fact that she was alone for a few weeks. Instead of coming home to Elliot, or him coming home to her, he was away in another city for work - for training, what with now officially part of the Organized Crime Control Bureau. 

Her heart feels heavy thinking about him, leading her to look at the empty desk in front of her that once belonged to him, but not belongs to her current partner Nick Amaro. Great guy, great cop, great Partner, but... well, she missed Elliot. 

“You alright?” Speaking of...

Olivia grabs the file on her desk, organizes the papers with in and slips it into the drawer to her right. “Not really.” She admits, voice small, quiet. 

“You wanna talk?” He cares and he wants to make sure she knows that and she’s appreciative.

“Not really.” She answers honestly, her voice even smaller now and he nods in understanding. He doesn’t push. He knows her, knows she doesn’t open up to just anyone. And he knows who she really wants to talk to. 

He stands, gently squeezes her shoulder and mumbles a quiet ‘keep your head up’ before he exits and some minutes later, Olivia does, too.

She parks the car and lets out a heavy sigh, sitting in the driver’s seat for a few minutes before she pulls out her phone and speed dials his number. 

She knows he won’t answer. He warned her of this - warned her how busy he was going to be. So busy, he may be out of reach for a couple of days at a time. He’d be lucky to even get a text message in, but admittedly, hearing his voicemail still makes her heart sink, it still makes her stomach churn... it takes her back to the days she tried calling him after he left when he didn’t answer...

But she reminds herself it’s different this time. That he’s simply away for work, but he is coming back home to her. That he hasn’t truly left.

“Hey, El.” Olivia greets the voicemail, desperately wishing he’d pick up. “So, uh, big surprise, the bastard got off. Again. I don’t know how many times this is now..” What with the other states this happened in - all declared mistrials because of some technicalities. He was good, he was smart. It wasn’t just luck. “Declared a mistrial.” She sighs heavily and pauses to gather herself. “So Cragen, uh, is making me take a couple of days off and I guess I need it. I haven’t really been sleeping well, or enough, so... well, anyway. I miss you.” A lot. So much. All which is conveyed within her words, within her voice - how it wavers when she says it. “I hope you’re safe.” More than anything. God, please let him be safe. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ll take some extra baths, maybe do some reading, sleep..” As if she could relax that much. But she’d try. “I hope we can talk soon.” The words sound final, but before she hangs up... “I love you.” Click. 

She enters her apartment and sets the groceries on the counter, focused on unloading them until she hears it... creak. 

She pauses, listens.

“Hello?” She speaks up and listens again. Nothing. “El?” Maybe he’d gotten home early, maybe he was here to surprise her. Though... he would’ve only been gone a couple of days, but no one else had a key... no one else had a--

She’s greeted with a gun to her face, aimed directly at her forehead. The man holding it instilling fear within her heart, making her entire body go cold. Rigid. She’s staring into the eyes of the beast and he’s staring right back into hers with a sinister grin. It’s sickening and cold and dangerous.

“Welcome home, Detective Benson.” It call goes black. 

--------------- 38 HOURS LATER ---------------

"Son of a bitch...” His heart shatters. “A Detective has been kidnapped. You bag everything. I gotta call 1PP.” He points at his other Detectives. “You find him.”

“Cap.” Fin’s voice cuts through the tense silence.

“What?” He questions, jaw clenched.

“You wanna call him or should I?” 

Silence fills the room. Rollins and Amaro share a look, Cragen looks around once more. Fuck. 

“I got it.” 

-----------------------------

Voicemail. Voicemail. Voicemail. 

“God damnit, Elliot.” 

He makes a few other calls and finally, he’s put through to Elliot’s Lieutenant. 

“I need to speak with Detective Elliot Stabler.” Cragen states, his voice urgent.

“Detective Stabler isn’t--”

“Like hell he isn’t. This is an emergency, do you hear me? Get him on the damn phone or I will personally speak with your Captain instead.” 

Silence. Silence that lasts a few minutes until...

“Stabler.”

“Elliot.” Cragen’s voice sounds relieved, but it’s still filled with urgency. With fear, with dread. “It’s Liv. You need to come home.” 

[causewhywouldnti]

My thoughts as I’m watching 24 seasons of law & order svu:

Season 15

15x01/02, Munch and Amaro in the beginning are the only good things this episode. Okay, so, from the Fanfics I expected this episode to be much more graphic. Not that I mind not seeing Benson be tortured. But maybe there’ll be flashbacks. Honestly, her talking about Stabler was fitting, absolutely hate, that he wasn't in this arc.

15x04, what the heck Brian?!? Was that interrogation scene supposed to be a dig at the Benson/Stabler relationship? Tucker is still unlikable. At least the episode finally showed the Cassidy/Benson relationship, because you could easily forget about it in season 14.

15x05, Munch’s goodbye party was a nice start. And I agree with Munch on Cassidy and Benson: they both could do better! I really like the actress, despite the story, I’m happy that she got to come back.

15x06, poor Barba, just trying to help out a friend.

15x07, Clay Aiken and Taylor Hicks, did not expect to see them, great casting!

15x09, Thomas Sadoski!

15x10, of course they had to show a fast-forward to Lewis getting out.

15x11, sad to see Cragen go.

15x14, Noah’s first appearance.

Apart from the opener of this season, I really didn‘t care about any of these episodes…

15x15, that’s Cassidy’s favorite Comedian?!? But that is the first episode I was interested in since the opener.

15x17, will you look at that, they actually called Elliot by his name and not just refer to him as the former partner. Kind of want Declan Murphy to come back again.

15x19, first of, love the actress who played Jenny. Second off, what a good episode, that really showed the consequences of what happened to her as a child. Also, the fact that the victim gets notified whenever a video/image is downloaded is horrifying. So far the best episode of the season for me.

15x20, got my wish, Lt. Murphy is back. Well, to end the episode like that was certainly a choice.

15x21, I hate that it bothers me so much that the blood pattern on Benson's face changed. Did I mention that I like Murphy? Because I really do! The one time, Tucker actually wants to help Benson, and she shoots him down. Hearing Amaro say he’s been here for almost three years was surprising. I really, really, hope, that they won’t ruin Murphy!

15x22, same with Brian and Olivia, Amaro and Rollins were not set up at all.

15x24, nice to see Munch again. Pretty sure that’s not how foster parenting works, but sure.

Favorite Episodes: 15x15 and 15x19

15x19 was definitely my favorite thing of this season. The Lewis arc was a lot less graphic than I thought it would be. I do appreciate Olivia seeing a therapist, and I liked Murphy as a character. Would have actually liked him to stay on. Apart from that, I would really like to have had Stabler in the Lewis arc and just generally in the show.

[cycat4077]

My Sonnyshine is finally smiling, truly smiling and happy and that's all I've ever wanted for him 🥺😭