#so the release date between the two wouldnt be too big

[dotster001]

My first route was chevalier, i picked him because clavis wasn’t available. The only 3 that were available back then were chevalier,leon and yves so i went with chev since he was my fav out of the 3, i didnt expect to end up loving him so much. He was my favorite character in ikepri(with an eng route released) but that was until Clavis’s route came out. I have never loved someone as much as i love him. Clavis is just everything i like and want in a person and i just think hes the perfect mix of adorable and cool.i think me and chevalier never really get past the friends phase but i feel like i would really like to date clavis. I’m extroverted and bubbly,therefore it was much easier to get to know clavis. I feel like while reading chevaliers route i loved his character but i knew he wouldnt get along that well with me ,on the other hand, i knew me and clavis would actually enjoy being with each other much more. I’m not much of a prankster myself but i dont mind getting pranked and all that. I love people who can make me laugh and yet also let me feel comfortable around them. I struggle with expressing what i actually feel though, i usually just try to ignore them or joke about it so no one takes it seriously. Maybe this could be a fluff story where me and clavis find it in us to confess to each other and admit our true feelings.

(some people may say, she forgot that she was doing an event. And to those people I say, shut up. I hope you enjoy! Clavis is such a squishy boy, I can't even 😭)

A Tale Where Clavis and His Lover Finally Confess, and Chevalier is Tired

Chevalier was tired. He’d finally let someone into his heart to be a friend to him, and they were as much a simpleton as his fool brother. The signs were in front of both of you that you were head over heels for each other. Even if he wasn’t a genius, he could’ve seen it. He’d even tried to be a good friend and big brother, and point you both in the right direction. But so far…nothing.

He knew the problem too. Neither of you could express your feelings so you were waiting for the other to do it. It was exhausting.

To be fair to you, Clavis was prone to saying things like, “I know you are madly in love with me, so when we get married I'll definitely (fill in the blank with whatever ridiculous thought that day)" and "we've been dating for so long that, (fill in the blank)". You were bound to have difficulty believing any of it.  

But to be fair to Clavis, he wasn't lying when he said those things. He genuinely believed what he said about being in love with you and planning to marry you. 

Chev had tried his hardest to let you both handle things yourselves. He had watched from afar as you stared at each other when the other was looking away.  He had sat in irritated silence as you both "fought" in his private library, the romantic tension between you both palpable.

But he was done. If his two simpletons (affectionate) weren't going to give in to their emotions, he would have to make them give in.

"Good morning King Highness! It is rare to see you up and at it so early! Why have you deigned to grace us with your presence?" Clavis had arrived at the office first.

"Sit, simpleton (derogatory)" Chev nodded at one of the two chairs.

Clavis simply wandered around the office, looking at objects like a cat deciding what to knock over.

You entered shortly after.

"Morning, Prince Chevalier, oh! Clavis! Good morning to you too!" Then your eyes went wide as you turned back to Chev.

"I swear, whatever he told you, I was in my room all night. I'm not his accomplice," you said hurriedly.

"Ah! You wound me," Clavis clutched his heart.

"Sit," Chev said again.

You were such an obedient little rabbit. He liked that. Maybe there was hope that you would rub off on his brother.

Crash

Or not.

With a heavy sigh Chevalier stood up, and simply left the room, locking the door behind him.

He could hear the immediate chaos; Clavis abruptly moving to pick the lock, and you standing up and asking what was happening.

He gestured to the men he had waiting in the room next door, and watched as they placed the heavy barricades around the door; the only things that would keep Clavis in.

He heard Clavis begin to swear, and you begin to shout, so he figured it was time for a hint.

"Figure out what I want and you can leave," and then he and his men walked away.

                                    ….

Once Clavis had realized picking the lock was useless, he had turned to you with a wicked grin.

"If he's going to cage us in here like animals, it's only fair that we act like them."

A chill went up your spine.

"What…what are you planning?"

Clavis picked up an object and, for the second time today, dropped it on the floor, shattering it. You flinched, knowing where this was going.

"Clavis," you hissed through your teeth.

He picked up a pot and dropped it while making direct eye contact with you. You flinched again, and he took that opportunity to put a framed picture into your hands.

"Come on, my faithful accomplice, do it."

You stiffened and adamantly shook your head.

He hummed and walked behind you. You didn't dare make eye contact. It would only encourage him.

He pressed himself against you from behind, placing his arms and hands over yours, his breath hot on your ear.

"Drop it," he whispered as he moved your hands.

The picture dropped, and just like that, you were an accomplice again. It didn't matter that you wouldn't drop anything else. It was enough for Clavis.

                                 ….

An hour in, Clavis had destroyed nearly everything in the office. The only things intact were the paperwork, the desk, and your chairs. 

Now that everything was ruined, he was starting to eye you the way he eyed the rest of the office. You knew that look. He was getting bored and trying to decide how messing with you would entertain him. You knew that would accomplish nothing so you had to get him on track.

"What did Chev mean by "figure out what I want"?" 

Clavis groaned and laid down on the ground. 

"I don't know. He's too much of a genius for it to make sense to mere mortals like us."

"But," you hesitated, "he wouldn't lock us in here if he didn't think we could figure it out."

Clavis grunted something under his breath, before abruptly sitting up.

"The window!"

"Huh?"

"Stand back in the corner," he said, grabbing a chair.

"Huh?" You asked, more frightened this time.

"Stand in the corner," he said as he approached the window.

Figuring out what he was doing, you rushed to the corner and covered your ears, just as he swung the chair at the window.

With the glass shattered, he gave you a smug look. He approached and wrapped an arm around your waist.

He waltzed you both to the open window, and he proudly hummed, " Your handsome prince has saved you once again. I'll accept payment in the form of your adoration."

His smile suddenly dropped, and he whispered, "Damn it all to hell."

You looked down and saw Chev and a small army standing under the window, waiting for you both.

                                   ….

It was hour five, and Clavis was back to laying on the floor. He'd done a whole lot, while you tried to work out the riddle.

He'd thrown all the paperwork on Chev and his army. He'd disassembled the desk and put it back together in a meaningless blob.  He'd attempted to get you to play cards with him. He'd formulated a new chemical mixture that he refused to say what it would do.

And throughout all of it, he'd brushed off your attempts, muttering something about how no one could keep Clavis caged. You were pretty sure he was getting cabin fever or something.

You were also worried that there had been a clue, but maybe he'd accidentally destroyed it.

"Clavis, I'm getting kind of hungry. Unless Chev has a hidden supply of snacks, we should probably solve the riddle now."

He lifted his head a little, and looked at you, before laying back down and pulling something out of his pocket.

"Here, you can have this. I'll be okay for a little while."

You retrieved the thing he was handing to you, and unwrapped it to reveal a bunch of crackers.

"I'd rather we split it," you said, feeling bad for taking what was most definitely the only thing he planned to eat until dinner.

"Only if you feed it to me," you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You took a cracker and pressed it to his lips. His eyes widened, and then softened as he opened his mouth and took the cracker between his teeth.

You moved to pull away, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you on top of him. He took one of the crackers and pressed it to your lips. Now that he was in control, his smile was smug again.

"Go on. I can't starve my accomplice," he grinned.

You did your best to ignore how he was trapping you with his other arm, and how his body heat was starting to become indistinguishable from your own, and nibbled the cracker.

He laughed, and wrapped his now free hand around you. He sighed, as he brought it up to your hair, running his fingers through it.

"You know, if we never get out of here, we'll have to figure out how to survive. Obviously, I'll be the king, cause I'm devilishly handsome, and a rogue, so you'll have to be our hunter, and catch all the game that roams the office."

"Hmm, office game is usually pretty crafty, I don't think I'll be able to catch it by myself. We may have to get some people to join our nation."

"Yeah, I bet we could get some of Chev's army to join us," he grinned. His grin turned soft, and you found yourself melting into his eyes.

"If we are stuck here, there's no one else I'd rather be stuck with." 

So soft, so vulnerable. He could be so genuine sometimes that you wanted to just cry.

"I won't lie to you, though. I have thought about locking you up before so that you could only look at me."

And other times he could be so childish.

You attempted to wriggle out of his grip, but he pouted and held you tighter.

"Hey, I just spilled my heart to you, and you're trying to flee. That's very rude."

"You're lucky I love you, or I would have fled for real a long time ago!"

Both of you froze. Then he grinned.

"You love me?"

You began struggling even more, but he ignored it, nuzzling his face in your neck.

"Finally! I've been waiting for you to fall for my charms."

"Clavis," you groaned as he mildly crushed your ribs.

"I know what you're worried about. You're worried that someone as handsome as me would have his eyes drawn to someone else. But no! My eyes are only for you!"

"Be serious," you said with an eye roll.

"I am!" He furrowed his brow. "I love you more than you can possibly love me!"

Before you could discuss anything further, you both heard a thud. You turned towards the sound, and saw that a rope ladder had been thrown through the window.

"Wait, did Chev give up?" You asked.

Clavis narrowed his eyes. "Let's get out of here so I can kill him."

And, once again, he was dragging you along after him for something you weren't sure you understood. But at least now, you could move forward with your relationship. Well, if he survived his attempt to kill Chev, that it.

[a1li-ens]

hiii ^-^ what's your favorite slow damage route been so far? Also, what song is stuck in ur head and... If you were an ice cream flavor, what kind would you be?

THESE R FUN QUESTIONS im going to answer the slow damage one last because i just realized i typed half an essay.

⭐song in my head rn: honestly my neighbor is playing deafening shitty edm or something while washing his car so my brain only has room for one song at a time BUT before that was ningen mitai ne by kitani tatsuya!! go listen to it i have listened at least 500 times in 6 months.

⭐ice cream flavor - THIS IS HARD i have little concept of the self . maybe the pink/blue bubblegum flavor?? i am also pink and blue and focus on colour before anything else such as taste. I like eating pistachio and strawberry though but they are all nice!!

⭐SLOW DAMAGE QUESTION UNDER BREAK I WROTE TOO MUCH!!! has spoilers !!

⭐fav route in slow damage: DEFINITELY FUJIEDA!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HIS ROUTE IS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭 it's easily the best one from a plot standpoint as well like probably my fav vn route in general, I am going to avoid crying about literally the whole plot in this ask but the whole setup with the cardboard box and the other routes info!!! SO COOL AND AMAZING!!

and OBVIOUSLY I am crushed and scrunched up from the towa backstory stuff in his route WHO WOULDNT BE!!! THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ (I am emotional to the point I am struggling to be coherent) just two broken dudes living together as a married couple but they don't even think they are dating,……. Oh my god like legitimately they will be engaged before they are boyfriends. I think their wedding cake should have two bunnies on top tears are welling up in my eyes I might draw this today.

ANYWAY it's perfect and beautiful. Even I admit Fuji looks so fugly as a lawyer. And I hate that dumb penis CG quota filling out of character SA scene well at least towa liked it even if I don't. BUT tbh the contrast between 3/10 ugly lawyer Fuji and 10/10 nice looking Fuji makes him better actually ❤️ but he is so well written even if he stayed ugly I would love him I am just lucky he is cute LMFAOO 🥰

ALSO HELPP THE BEACH SCENE … HAVE U EVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL AND MOVING IN YOUR LIFE ….. THEY ARE BOTH FINALLY SO HAPPY!!! WHEN THE DRAMA CD IS OUT…IT WILL BE. TRULY OVER FOR ME….. IF ANYONE FINDS A RIP AFTER ITS RELEASE PLS SEND IT EVEN WITHOUT ENGLISH…I LOVE THE ARTBOOK SIDESTORY TOO... MALEWIFE TOWA IS CUTE

I WANTED TO LOOK AT THIS AGAIN.. SO U CAN TOO!

OH YEAH .. I RLY LIKE FUJI BAD END AS WELL.. my fav out of those as well . besides towa looking great with his big smiley face it was really fun and thrilling in a scary way!!! u know those pics of like a mob boss sitting on a chair doing talking about crimes with a trophy wife next to them. thats what i think would be happening after this with fuji maybe ill draw that. (tangentially i was hoping madarames BE would have a cg like that with towa im a bit disappointed it didnt ! )

my next fav route was Reis!! i feel like ive written too much but do yall want other route thoughts. i like this game so much 🥺

[littlx-songbxrd]

Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[maltedroses]

Happy Anniversary Dear, f overhaul x f reader

Chisaki, one of the most dangerous high profile criminals who was still roaming free. The soon to be queen of the criminal world. A slim curvaceous woman with piercing golden eyes that were as cold as they were beautiful, and your wife.

So what happens when your anniversary surprise is ruined.   

 Chisaki was never a high maintenance woman, well that was a lie considering how she frequently demanded the place to be spotless.

 “Dirt and grime will build up if we don’t keep this place clean, do you know how gross that is? Makes me sick”

 But other than that, she didn’t demand much, a simple woman really who would only occasionally indulge in lavish 

 or to pamper her wife. So it wouldn’t be hard to surprise her on your anniversary right?

 No. In fact it was disastrous. First you accidentally added salt instead of sugar to the dessert you spent hours making which led to you crying and while you were busy wallowing in the sadness of your mistake the meal you had in the oven burnt.

 Great, I ruined dinner, the kitchen is a mess, I don’t have time to clean the whole place and make a whole new meal, and Chisaki is going to be home soon.

 You sigh, throwing the food into the bin so much for that.

 “Fuck, what am I going to do? I practically ruined my anniversary, my wife’s going to be here soon tired and this mess is only going to make her more frustrated if the damn expandables didn’t already eat up all her patience at work” you put all the dishes in the dishwasher remembering to wash them later. “I didn’t want it to come to this but desperate times call for desperate measures I just hope she doesn’t notice” you take a deep breath before dialing a number on your phone

 “Um, hello? Is this [redacted big name Italian restaurant franchise]”

  “My work here is done” you look at the candlelit setup, the satin white table cloth without a single crease, a bottle of wine sat in a tub of ice at the center of the table surrounded by rose petals “Everything is perfect the only thing missing now is me” you look at the time  10 minutes.

It should be enough time to let you shower and get dressed, you rush over to the bathroom and get in not caring about whatever setting the water was on, taking a quick shower. You rushed out not even fully dry quickly dressing, brushing your hair as you strapped the buckles of your dress.

 “You know that’s a fire hazard, leaving candles unattended” 

 You swiftly look over your shoulder and see your wife. “Chisaki, you’re home early” you stand before your mob boss wife.

 "I am?" She hums removing her gloves, her soft hands reaching towards yours, intertwining your fingers together lowering her head. "I guess I am, considering what day it is today" she softly kisses your hand before she presents you a velvet box "happy anniversary dear"

 "Oh Chisaki, you didn't have to" you gush not even opening the box.

 "Just open it, I promise you'll like it"

 You open the box and start to cry, it was a dark wood collage picture frame. The pictures were organized in chronological order, from when you two first meet in the first year of high school, small dates and special occasions in between, to the day she proposed to you in front of the flower garden where you two technically had your first date. 

“Chisaki… this is so beautiful thank you” she patted your shoulder nuzzling her head against yours. “I know I'm not around as much ever since I became head boss and every time we do spend time together I felt that I tried to make up for my absence by buying you things so I decided to get you something more sentimental and personal.” 

You kissed her cheek “I got you something too” giggling while your hand caressed her thigh “although I think it's better if I give it to you after dinner~”

“Oh really? I was thinking about having it for dessert instead” she smirked, holsting you onto her lap, hand resting on your lower back and making its way to your ass giving it a firm squeeze. "I could just eat you up right now~” pressing her soft lips against yours. “ You outdid yourself from the looks of the table, we wouldn't want your hard work to go cold” she pouted.

“Oh right the food, yep nothing but the best for my wife” you lied between your teeth, fuck am I really giving my wife take out and passing it as my own? Is the love of my life really worth takeout to me, and on our anniversary of all days?

“_, are you coming?” Chisaki looked down at you with a mildly concerned look on her face “you look distracted, is everything ok?”

“Oh uh yeah all is fine I was just thinking about how lucky i am to have you”

“You're so starstruck, what are you in, highschool?” she jokingly jabbed.

“Me? You're the one who almost passed out trying to ask me out on a date back when we first meet” you headed over to the table taking your wife by the hand.

“I was nervous, besides the whole having feelings for someone else was new for me. I hated you for a while for making me feel weak, now I'm just glad to have met you”

“You're such a sap, I love you.”

The bottle of wine had long been gone, the two of you looked at each other with a loving gaze while feeding one another strawberries and other things.

"Let me get that for you" she pulls you into a kiss “hehe you had whipped cream on the side of your face~” her face was tinted pink and sounded a little slurred she was tipsy, not drunk, you both were and the night had barely begun.

“I know it’s a little late but if you don't mind I still have to give you your present” you teasingly lifted your dress a little slightly showing more thigh than before.

“Oh~ I like where this is going, just not on the table we eat here” she got up slowly stripping and making a makeshift trail of her clothes.

“Oh baby I’ll be eating you in a moment” giggling at your own joke. By the time you arrived at your shared bedroom, she was only in her panties and lace stockings. 

Damn, she’s so beautiful.

“Come here _, on your knees”

You crawled over to her resting your head on her lap, she gently caresses your face rubbing her thumb over your lip. “You’re the best thing I could ever ask for, now I’m going to treat you like a queen~” she grabs you by the shoulders and lifts you resting you on top of her, hands reaching over for your dress straps, soon the two of you were only in undergarments with Chisaki overhauling your bra away, she kisses you kneading your breast as you pull on the seam of her panties, pressing your thumb against her clit. 

She sucks on the nape of your neck while grinding against your hand, her juices lightly coating your hand. “Hehe, you're so wet, I'm not even using my fingers and you’re already wet. So desperate for my touch, well guess what babe, I'm gonna give it to ya” you thrust two fingers in her your thumb circling around her clit. She spreads her lips for you looking at you with pleady eyes more they beg. You lean in giving her a sloppy kiss “I'm going to push you on edge and have you scream my name, make you cum until it hurts, and make you a nice warm bath then fuck you there too.” She nods thrusting against your hand “Yes ma'am” she mewles

“Good girl” your fingers plunged deep into her moist core, her cunt quivering around your fingers. She arches her back granting you full access to her plump breasts, you take the opportunity and wrap your lips around her perky pierced nipple, sucking and biting the sensitive bud. Her nails dig deep into your skin scratching at your hips, tearing off your panties in the process.

“Fuck me_, please fuck me!” she cries wrapping her legs around your waist, her nails rakinking down your back.

“You're such a naughty girl” you harshly kiss her, pulling your hand away from her dripping cunt, reaching to a nearby drawer pulling out fuzzy handcuffs “and naughty girls need to be punished~” swiftly handcuffing her to the bed. You kiss her abdomen and pull off her panties with your teeth, your hot breath hitting her pussy. You give her folds a slow long lick ignoring her clit, she whines pressing her thighs together locking your head with them. “Playing dirty I see” you roll your eyes and nip at her labia, she gasps and quickly retracts her legs.

“You don't always get what you want Chisaki, I'm afraid this is one of those times” you flip her over “just remember you brought this onto yourself”

Smack!

The first hit lands on her ass, she hisses pulling on the cuffs shooting you a dirty look.

“Oh love don’t look at me like that” you giggle “this is your punishment after all for being naughty it's supposed to be unfair if that's what you're thinking.”

“You can be a real bitch sometimes you know that” she growled licking her lips, in the blink of an eye she waf free from the fuzzy restraints and pinned you “now it's my turn.” She grinded her pussy against yours putting all her weight against you, grabbing the metal part on the cuffs with her free hand  she turned it into a small dildo shoving it inside you.

“If  you can last 5 minutes without cumming I’ll bottom for you~” she mockingly whispers as her fingers quickly work away with your pussy, your tight muscle wraps around her fingers and the small metal inside you. Not now you wouldnt easily let her break you, but you also yearned to be fucked by her. “Just fuck me already” you sigh in defeat.

“Hmm I don't know I’m kinda tired” she fake yawned releasing you before rolling on the other side of the bed “but ill make it up to you okay? Softly gazing at you while brushing her fingers through your hair.

“Fine just because you're tired”

[blerbdrops]

bad name (b.h. x fem rdr)

im drunk and thirsty for billy hargrove and i thought of this in the back of an uber lets GET IT

summary: you and billy used to date. emphasis on used to. now, you stay away from him at all costs but keep finding yourself drawn to him, coming back all over again.

warnings: smut (18+),angst if you squint kind of ((i never wrote angst before. forgive me lmfao)), slight praise kink, underage drinking, smoking probably, toxic relationships, billy hargrove in himself counts as a warning right ? unprotected sex. wrap it before you tap it folks!! fluff towards the end i guess. oh everyone in this fic is 18 and older btw bc smut LMAO

song inspo that u should also listen to when reading this: you give love a bad name x bon jovi, i hate myself for loving you x joan jett & the blackhearts

it was another saturday night, and tina invited you to another one of her ragers. again. not like you had anything against partying, as any teenager in a small town like hawkins, but you knew your ex was going to be there and you really werent trying to see him. you knew he was going to be there because he thrives off of attention, no matter how good OR bad it was. 

you and billy dated for six months. six months you had tamed the beast in him. but it all came undone when he had some other bitch wrapped around his arm in the school parking lot like grip tape on a wooden baseball bat. you spat at his feet and ended the relationship, right then and there.

or so you thought. between every hookup billy had, and every guy you managed to get free dinner and head from, you two were drawn back to each other but in a sick, twisted way. like a fly caught in a spiders web. sometimes he was the fly, and you the spider. 

tonight though, you were two beers and three rum & cokes deep. the bass of the music thrummed through your body. not like you were dancing though. you only came to get drunk and get laid. and you were already drunk.

you smoothed out the crinkle in your denim mini-skirt, leaning against a wall, surveying the crowd. you caught billy in your vision, frizzy blond curls and all, dancing up against some random girl from the cheer team. you didnt get jealous. i mean, how could you? you knew if you wanted him, you could have him. you did have him, at one point. 

while he was dancing, he looked around and locked his gaze within yours. he licked his lips at you, to which you returned a sultry wink. you used your tongue to wrap around the straw in your cup of spiked punch to bring it closer to your mouth and raised an eyebrow at him. he took sight of this and eased his way off the dance floor. he slightly stumbled his way over to you. leaning his arm against the wall above you, he looked down at you. he placed his hand on the small of your back, bringing you closer into him. he knew what you liked. 

“hey sweetheart.” he purred into your ear. “you look real good tonight.”

you flushed, letting out a laugh. “and so do you. couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

he smirked at you, licking his lower lip. “lets get out of here. you and me, for old times sake?”

you knew fucking him was gonna be bad. so, so bad for the both of you. but the heat pooling between your legs led you to believe otherwise.

“take me to my place, baby.” you purred into his ear. he grabbed you by the hand and led you both to his car, opening the passenger door for you. you both eased yourself into the brown leather bucket seats of his camaro. before he turned on his car, he grabbed the fabric of your shirt and pulled you in for a fervent, needy kiss. it was full of sin, fire, and teeth biting on lips. you both had to exercise restraint, because you both had a long night ahead.

the ride was spent with his hand gripping your thigh, and vice versa. neither of you wanted to lose physical contact with each other. he pulled into your empty driveway, save for your car being in there. 

“where are your folks?” he asked, turning to you. 

“gone for the weekend. went to go sightsee or something.” you replied. “wouldnt have brought you to mine if they were home anyways.”

“i know doll.” you both exit the car and waste no time in getting to the front door. you fumble with the keys, not being able to concentrate with billy’s hard dick grinding up against your ass. you groaned at the feeling and ground back into him, earning the slightest moan from him. 

once you got in and slammed the door shut behind you, it was a wrap. 

he smashed his lips into yours, pressing you against the front door of your house. you returned the heated kiss to him. you bit his lower lip, eliciting a moan from him. you took this chance and slid your tongue into his mouth. the both of you becoming more aroused, you untucked his shirt from his pants and threw it off of him. he pulled off your shirt in one fell swoop, exposing your braless chest. he groaned at the sight of your barren chest and began leaving sloppy, drunken kisses down your neck, on your collarbone and breasts. he licked a trail up back to your neck and nipped at the shell of your ear. 

“miss me, baby girl? i know you fuckin’ did.” he purrs into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. 

“more than anything, daddy.” you bit at his neck, fiddling with the belt buckle at his waist, wanting more of him against you. 

he picks you up and you wrap your legs around him, letting his strong arms carry you up to your bedroom. once you two get in your room, he lets you go gently on your bed, and you pull off your skirt and kick off your shoes, leaving yourself in your black thong. he gets visibly harder through his denim jeans. 

“ugh you take too long. i want you right now.” you unfasten his black leather belt and cast it off to the empty side of the bed, the side that used to be his. you yank his pants and boxers down, and his erection springs out and bounces against his washboard abs. you throw your hair up into a ponytail and lick down his entire shaft. he lets out a breathy moan at this. 

he missed the way you looked with your mouth wrapped around his long, hard member. he loved the way you looked when you’d take his whole length in your mouth and looked up at him with innocent eyes. 

he snaked his hands to your ponytail and you raised an eyebrow at him, pulling his hands away from you and pinning them to his sides. he moaned at the way you took charge. you were the only girl who challenged him in bed. you bobbed your head against him as he slowly thrust into your mouth. you looked up at him and met his gaze, smiling as best as you could with his dick in your mouth. 

“my god, angel.” he groaned out. “you look so goddamn good right now.” 

you hummed against him, feeling his orgasm ever so slightly build up. but you werent going to let him cum just yet. 

you pulled off of him, releasing his wrists from your grip and slowly pumping him. “hold out for me, baby boy.” he immediately pulls you off of his knees and places you on the bed, leaving rough kisses along your body, love bites on your collarbone and breasts. he used his teeth to pull down your underwear, discarding of them completely with his hands when they got low enough. he gently kissed along the insides of your thighs, his breaths teasing your pussy as you grew wetter for him.

he gently traces his index finger along your folds, chuckling darkly. “so wet. and its all for me, huh angel?”

you sigh, head hitting your fluffy pillows. “yes baby. all for you. please, please dont keep me waiting any longer. i need you.”

and that was all it took. he dove into you face first, flattening his tongue out and licking along your slit. your hands sunk into his blond mop, gripping tighter at him. you felt the vibration of his moan throughout your entire body and you let a sinful moan escape your lips. he took this as incentive to pull you closer by your thighs and really taste you. 

he ate you out like you two were never going to fuck again. his tongue found its way to your clit. he used one of his free hands to pull back the hood on your clit to expose it further. you arched your back into him, moans becoming louder. this only spurred him on as he gently sucked on your exposed clit. he used his other free hand to slide two fingers inside you. your grip on his hair got tighter as you rode his face, essentially. you felt your thigh muscles contract as you almost hit your orgasm. keyword: almost. he stops, and you whine at the loss of his mouth. the sight of him is almost holy. 

his blond curls tumbled down and hit his shoulders, his eyes glassy and full of fire, lust, and desire. his lips glistened in the dim light of your room, full, pink and swollen. his smooth skin shone, and you swear you almost came at the sight of him. 

“bend over for me sugar.” he says to you, in a sultry and demanding way. you flip over with ease, giving him the perfect view of your ass. you pulled a pillow closer to your face, letting it rest there. he looked at you dreamily. 

“atta girl. youre so fucking sexy.” he kissed your ass, which made you moan and push back on him, letting the tip of his dick graze against your wet pussy. 

“fuck babygirl. youre so goddamn wet. i love that.” he moaned, teasing you and himself at your entrance. “dripping wet, and all for me. your pussy is so damn beautiful.” 

you moaned into the pillow before picking your head up, “my GOD billy! please just fuck me into my mattress already, i cant wait much longer. i need that big, thick dick inside me so fucking bad baby.”

without anymore hesitation, he slid into you with ease. you both moaned at feeling each other like this again. he thrusted into you harder and harder. you bit the pillow as he laid a harsh smack against your ass, watching it redden. 

“oh god baby! yes, yes, yes!!” you moan out loudly, throwing your ass back against him as he fucked you. he loved when you fucked him back, loved watching your ass jiggle against his pelvis. he used his knees to push your legs apart, and get deeper into you. 

“god, yes princess.” he let out between thrusts. “i love when you push back on me like that. you miss my dick babygirl?”

he ruts into you, you screaming out in pleasure. “AH! oh yes daddy. i missed that dick inside me.” you felt the pressure of your orgasm build in your stomach. he felt your walls clench against his dick, and he slid out of you. 

“on your back. now.” he demanded. you threw yourself against your soft blankets as he nudged your legs spread eagle in front of him. he slid into you once more, starting with slow, deep strokes. 

“oh baby. go faster, please.” you begged him. he smiled at you.

“hm? you want me to go faster? you mean.. like this?” he picked up his pace, fast enough to arouse you but not to harm you. he knew you too well and you were too stubborn to admit it. 

“o-oh fuck yes! just like that. my god baby!!” you screamed out, burying your face into the crook of his neck and biting down. this only made him rut into you harder. he lifted up one of your legs and let it rest against his shoulder, allowing him to hit your g-spot with every thrust. 

“oh, you like that babygirl?” he cooed. “i know you fuckin’ do. god, i missed this pussy so goddamn much!” he thrusted into you, not being able to hold out much longer. not with the way you writhed against him, or how his name seemed to roll off your tongue with ease. “who’s pussy is this? who do you belong to?” he demanded an answer, and who were you to deny him that luxury?

“fuck, daddy! its yours, its all yours.” you drew out your moan, clawing into his back. “you feel so fucking good. i missed you inside me so fucking much!” you cried out. your orgasm built up again, your walls tightening around billy. 

“look at me, angel. look at me when you cum all over my dick.” he used his free hand to rub slow circles on your clit, sending you to the brink of your orgasm. his thrusts became sloppier and you knew he was going to cum too. 

“oh! o-oh fuck DADDY! yes, yes yes!” you screamed out, your pussy spasming around his dick. he continued to rub on your clit as your nails dug into and down his back while you rode out your climax on his hand. you were both certain that those marks would take a while to fade. he didnt care. 

“goddamn babygirl. im gonnna cum. where do you want it” he said, edging himself so he could hear your answer. instead of verbal response, you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out, ready to catch him in your mouth. he groaned at this in response, and felt his abs tighten. 

“oh fuck. come here princess.” he swiftly pulls out of you and pumps himself onto your open mouth. you catch every spurt of cum and take the extra measure to lick off the excess that dripped from his tip. you slowly and gently sucked him off, making sure to clean him off in the process. you released him from your mouth with a pop and smiled, looking up at him. he was breathing heavy and so were you, sweaty from the sinful, nasty sex you two had shared. 

spent, billy collapsed onto your bed. you throw off the covers, allowing you and him to get underneath them. you cracked a window to air out the room. you reached into your nightstand and pulled out a cigarette from your cigarette box and your cheap lighter and lit one up. you took a nice, long drag and exhaled before passing it to billy. you two shared a cigarette in your post-sex euphoria. 

“so.” he began, “when is this gonna happen again?”

“it’ll happen when it happens. you know i cant guarantee anything for you.” you responded, finishing the cigarette and ashing out on your ashtray in the window.

“right. is that why we’re here now? and you’re not my girl?” he responded. 

“billy you had some other bitch on you like white on rice when i came out into the school parking lot. thats why im not your girl.” you turned on your side, facing him. “worst part is, you embarrassed yourself, and me. that shit hurt.” 

a poignant silence hung in the air. he had nothing to refute your statement with, because you cant argue facts. “(y/n). you know i still love you. right?” 

you sighed. “yes. i still love you too. but i cant find it in me to keep away from you. i dont know what it is about you. you’re bad.”

“so i’ve been told.” he replies flatly. “can we- can we just enjoy what this is for now, at least?”

“yeah. we can.” you snuggled into his chest, his arm wrapping around you and pulling up the covers to keep your naked bodies warm, together. 

[spaceysp]

Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY 

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy 

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely) 

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues 

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns* 

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal) 

n u m b e r f o u r 

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other) 

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF) 

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

[otherthingsinhead]

My Girl

Pairing: Reader x Javier Peña

Warnings: language / smut

Request: @technicallykawaiisoul 

Can I request a Javier Peña x reader fanfic, maybe she's a famous detective from another country and she starts to work with Javi & Steve, and maybe Steve teases Javi about her and maybe a lit fluff & smut😉

“What was that?”

“What?”

“You’ve just volunteered your weekend for shopping. You really wanna pick and choose curtains and pillows with Y/N?”

“Yeah, she just came to the city and needs to make her apartment more like home. And I need some sheets and stuff in my place too.” Javier said under his mustache causing Steve to chuckle so hard he nearly spat his coffee across the table.

“Your sheets are changed often, huh?” He laughed but Javi just shook his head, grinning.

“You won’t rest until you get into her panties, will you?”

“It might surprise you but I don’t get laid with every woman I find attractive.”

“Attractive? You find Y/N attractive?! I think there's a better way of putting it.” Steve said teasingly. Javier’ eyes widened and the first time since you left the office, his heart began to race.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked trying not to sound desperate.

“You can’t deny it forever you have a crush on her.”

“Fuck off, Murphy!” Javier scoffed putting a cigarette into his mouth. He didn’t realize his feelings for the beautiful, new member of their team were so obvious.

“Oh, c’mon Javi, you look like a little boy seeing a puppy every time she enters the room.” Steve continued as Javier took his jacket and showed him a middle finger as a response.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“I hope you don’t have much plans for tonight!”

“Why?”

“Connie wants you to come over for dinner.”

“That’s kind but...”

“It’s ok, no pressure. Then we’ll be just the three of us.”

“Three?”

“Connie, I and Y/N.”

“She invited Y/N too?”

“And she said happily yes.”

“Maybe I can... cancel the... thing.” Javi mumbled but his words died in Steve’s giggling.

Javier denied his feelings for you. He convinced himself it was only physical attraction even after he found himself thinking about you day and night and started to find excuses to see you. Living in the apartment next to yours made it easy to knock on your door any time of the day and ask for some milk or a little help in the kitchen.

He never got enough of you. How could he? You were beautiful, sharp-witted, funny and wise. He loved your enthusiasm for your work and adored how much you cared for the people of this country. But his favorite thing about you was your laughter because it sent the most warming feelings through his chest melting his heart utterly.

The need of finding Escobar has never been so urgent since he started killing people. You couldn’t bear the weight of responsibility and the only thing always helped was Javi. His embracing arms brought comfort to your distressed soul after a shocking news of someone’s death. Your partnership quickly grew into a friendship what you needed so much in that foreign, chaotic country.

Friendship. You were friends and it was something you had to remind yourself from time to time. Since the first time you met Javier, you had an amiable feeling towards him. His smile was unbearably adorable and whenever he gave you a tiny bit of smile your stomach fluttered uncontrollably. The combination of his charismatic charm and desirable features was dangerous enough in itself but the small compliments and light physical contacts he gave you made your heart want to jump out of your chest. It took all your strength to keep your calmness around him. You’ve heard the rumors about his sexual life and albeit you’ve never seen his so-called girlfriends you could imagine him as a womanizer.

Connie wasn’t a notable cook but she did a great job with the dinner. And honestly, that macaroni was the best thing had happened with you on that week. It was so relaxing to sit around with friends and talk about everything but narcos.

After the third drink, you felt your head dizzy a little bit and sitting next to Javier just made it worse. He was in a flirty mood too and you couldn’t deny how much you enjoyed his attention.

“Ok guys, I have to ask.” Connie stated after drinking up her glass of red. “Is there something between the two of you? Are you guys dating or something?” She asked causing Steve to chuckle into his drink.

“What?” She blinked between her husband and the gaping guests. “Aren’t they look cute together?!”

“No, Connie, there’s nothing between Y/N and I. Nothing more than friendship, right?” Javier said looking down at you. He seemed so calm and it made your uneasiness to grow.

“Yes! Exactly. I mean... Javi and I?! Seriously?” You giggled.

“Uh... Am I not good enough for you?” Javier smiled, his voice almost scolding.

“No, I... Sorry, I-I just can’t imagine having a date with you, like... you know.... I mean... Can you imagine?” The words came stuttering out of your mouth, hands trembling and wine swirling nervously in your glass. For a moment it seemed like the air was soo thick with silence you could barely breathe.

“Uh... I think she means you’re partners and dating with each other would be unprofessional.” Steve's voice came as a joyful surprise. “Ok, sweetheart can we get to the dessert instead of making our guests uncomfortable?”

“Actually, I’m full and I still have some work to do so...” Javier said exchanging a look of understanding with Steve. “Thanks for the lovely dinner but if you don’t mind I would just take my leave.”

It wasn’t until Javier left the room that you realized how much you hurt him. And it felt horrible. After the dessert, you went downstairs to your apartment and walking by Javier’s door you felt a strong urge to knock on it. But you didn’t.

Sleep didn’t come. You turned and curled in your bed thinking about the events of the night. The pleasant feelings of Javier’s arm around your shoulder, his voice in your ears, his smile! And then the look on his face when you said you wouldn’t date with him. Even if it was only theoretical. But was it though?

Since you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep you decided to go to the kitchen for some water but soon you found yourself on the cold corridor of the building with a solid decision in your mind to knock on Javier’s door.

A huge wave of embarrassment swept through your body as you were standing in front of his door, waiting for him to open it. You wished he didn’t hear your knocking. He did.

“Y/N?” A frightened look on Javier’s face as he opened the door and find you standing there barefoot, in a nightgown. “What happened? Are you ok?”

“Yes, Yes, I... I... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t wake you up, I just... I couldn’t sleep, because... well, you know I... I know I hurt you with my words and, and, and I just wanted to tell you, I don’t think you’re not worthy of dating, actually... I-I-I think you’re a really kind guy and have a lovely personality and I’m sure you’d be an amazing boyfriend and, and, and... And I am sorry and... and that’s all.” You swallowed.

“Y/N, you came back in the middle of the night to tell me you would date me?”

“Yes... No! I just, just wanted to apologize.” You said but felt your cheeks burn like hell because you both know it wasn’t the truth.

Javier’s frown faded giving way to his eyes to shine. The last thing you saw was an adorable half-smile plastering on his mouth, then you closed your eyes and clung to his neck, pressing your lips onto the smirk. The strong arms instinctively found their ways around the small of your back, keeping you close to his unclothed upper body.

His kiss was sweet and soft and you fully lost yourself in it missing the moment when he pulled you into his apartment and closed the door behind you. His hands still lingered upon your hips, holding you steady against the door as he deepened the kiss causing your body to override with the pleasure his tongue was giving you. Oh, what a wonderful kisser he was! A small whimper of disappointment left your throat when he pulled away.

“I wanna take you to my bedroom.” He confessed. Dark lust shone through his eyes.

“Ok.” You panted simply.

“Are you sure, Y/N?”

“Yes, Yes, I am. I want this, I... I want this with you.” You said but you didn’t sound convincing so you continued. “It’s just sex, right?” You chuckled. “It’s not a big deal, we can... we-we’re grown people, we can have sex with each other if we...” Your breath hitched in your throat at the look on his face.

“No, I can’t do this.”

“What?”

“I can’t have sex with you Y/N. I can’t if it means nothing to you.”

You couldn’t say a word just stood there panting, trying to control yourself as you stared into his eyes.

“I like you.” He continued. “I do. And I want to make this work. I want us to work.”

“Javi, I...”

“Tell me you want the same. So I can make love to you.” A sudden rush of flutter you felt in your stomach mixed with a bitter feeling.

“Javi, you know I’m here for work. As soon as we catch Escobar I’ll leave the country.” You whispered and watched him shaking his head with disappointment. You took his face in your hands, making him look up at you.

“But I like you too. And I want you to make love to me.” You smiled and he kissed you. And his kiss felt sweeter than before. 

He knew you won’t stay forever and this both released him and terrified him. He didn’t want to fall in love with you. He didn’t want to fall in love at all that’s why he chose his lovers from hookers. And yet the intoxicant feelings that overwhelmed him at your presence was racing through his veins like wildfire.

Taking your hands in his he led you to the bedroom where he gently pushed you down onto the bed. His eyes were full of lust and your body was full of anticipation. He pushed you back into the bed crawling over you and his lips captured yours in a deep, passionate kiss. Your arms naturally wrapping around his neck and your fingers tangling in his hair. Dark and soft just like his gaze upon you as he pulled away from the kiss only to see the delicious expression of need on your face.

“I’ve been waiting for this so long.” He smiled tucking a hand under the hem of your nightgown and raising goosebumps on your skin.

Before you could say anything he bent down to claim your lips again. His hand glided along your thigh and your ribs until it reached a breast with inviting, stiffened nipple. You tried to bite back the soft moan that escaped as he rolled the ball of his thumb over the sensitive area, but it escaped with a shudder. You could tell from his growing smirk that it drove him crazy and the rising bulge palpable against your thigh could confirm that too.

As he moved to trail wet kisses along your jawline and neck you tried to catch your breath. His mouth moved perfectly against the sensitive spots sending waves of heavenly vibrations through your nerves and made your body unintentionally wiggle beneath his.

It took a few moments until you realized he had been getting rid of his pants. Your panties and nightgown quickly followed as he pulled off and threw them carelessly to the floor. Then he laid on his back, pulled you on top of him and paused, giving an admiring stare to your naked body. You’ve never felt so confident before. Locking your gaze with his you reached for him, carefully wrapping your fingers around his fully hardened erection. A sharp inhale escaped him.

Having him panting between your thighs made you want him inside you more than ever and he looked like he desperately wanted it too. He sat up and your body lighted up with pleasure as he latched his mouth on your nipple sucking and nipping it heatedly while rubbing an expert thumb gently against your clit. The soft massage he gave to your throbbing core turned you into a moaning mess.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Javier breathed. “I have to finish you up way too quickly if you keep making these sweet noises.”

Your mouth moved to reply but couldn’t form a single word as he captured your lips with his, kissing you with growing hunger.

When he broke the kiss again, you seized the opportunity to bury your head into the crook of his neck and press him back to the pillows only to taste every inch of soft skin you found the way down to his belly. Your hands still working on his length. Judging by the shaky breaths and loud moans he enjoyed your caresses.

“It seems like I’m not the only one here making sweet noises.” You teased him peering up through your lashes and gently bit into his belly. He was already so close, his erection felt painfully full and throbbing with every motion of your hand.

“I wouldn’t think you can be such a tease.” He said sitting up and tossing you onto your back again. “I like it.”

He reached under a pillow and pulled out a shiny package. The bare thought of having him inside you, made you shiver. After he put on the condom he leaned over you again and lined up his length with your soaking entrance. His eyes scouting your expression as he entered you slowly, deliciously slowly, allowing your walls to adjust his size. You quivered a silent moan and tightened your grips on his shoulders at the feeling of him filling you all the way up and sending tiny explodes of pleasure to your nerves all over your body.

You bucked your hips up and whimpered at the feeling of the sharp difference between constant alternation of fullness and emptiness. The room was loud with the sound of heavy breathing, moaning and screams. You started to feel a coil in your tummy tighten with every thrust he made and hearing him growling with pleasure pushed you closer and closer to the edge of your climax.

You couldn’t help but cried out his name when your walls convulsed around him in a divine manner you’ve never experienced before. It was his undoing and with a deep, rusty moan he pumped his cum inside you.

His eyes were closed and he felt his body weighted down, crushing yours into the bedding. He raised his head and smiled shyly at you. He looked exhausted but his beaming face made him irresistibly kissable. You couldn’t stop smiling as he snogged you amorously.

He rolled beside you and rested his head on your chest nestling between your arms. Taking a deep breath you inhaled his scent trying to savor the moment of the complete happiness and satisfaction. You spent a few minutes just laying in each other's arms in silence. He listened to your beating heart as you twirled your fingers through his hair.

“So... Are we still on for shopping tomorrow?” You asked lacing your fingers with his soft locks and pulling his head so you could look into his eyes.

“Of course.” He answered and placed his palm on your breast with tender care, gently rubbing the skin on it. “I wouldn’t mind spending more time with my girl.”

His last two words echoed in your mind and you couldn’t hide the gloominess that possessed your face. He frowned.

“I don’t wanna give up on us.” He said with a serious expression on his cute face then kissed your pursing lips with such need you wondered if he was ready to make you his again. He couldn’t help but moan as his hips bucked into your touch.

“Is this what I think this is?”

“Uh-hm.” He hummed against your lips. “We don’t know... how much longer... can we be together so... we have to use our time wisely.” He rustled between kisses he planted on the way from your neck to your breasts and you knew you were ready to give yourself to him fully. Not only your body but also your heart.

MASTERLIST

Tag list: @purplewings12

[riseandshinelittleblossom]

Go Mets!

A/N: This is my submission for the wonderful @mf-despair-queen‘s 2019 Dylan O’Brien Baseball Week.  This is my first ever Dylan fic, as well as my first ever reader insert (ish) fic, so keep that in mind hahahaha I hope you enjoy it!

 Also! DISCLAIMER: I write this purely for fun, I don’t get paid or anything like that, I’m just borrowing our favorite Mets fan for a bit of  good natured fun...

Warnings: light swearing, because it wouldnt be a riseandshinelittleblossom fic without it. :D

Shout out to my wonderful friend @ao719 for indulging me and pre-reading this for me..girl your rock!

 Tags: @leelee10898 @fullbeaumonty @kennaxval @superapplepie @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @stiles-o-dylan24  @ownworldresident @mrscutiefandobhaz

    Dylan held out his arm, staggering backwards a bit as he caught the baseball in his well-worn mitt.

    “Hey, nice one Maggie!” He chuckled.

    The six year old across the yard beamed at him and he couldn't help but feel his heart melt seeing her snaggletooth grin.

     He was so proud of how much she had progressed since he first started bringing her out back to play catch two years ago.

     His friends had all warned him to steer clear of getting into a relationship with you because dating a single mother also meant “you have to play Dad,” but that had never worried him in the least. Maggie was a good kid, really smart, and she shared Dylan's passion for baseball and the Mets. These days he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his time off between filming than to be in the backyard helping her practice for her little league games.

   She flipped her long, chocolate- colored plait over her shoulder and resumed her batting stance.

   “Okay, Dyl. Let's have another one. And don't go easy on me this time.” She sassed.

   “Go easy on you? I would never..” he feigned innocence, grasping the ball firmly and grinding into the mitt a few times.

   Maggie rolled her eyes, the bat falling to her side.

   “I'm serious, O'Brien. You think the girls on the Grizzlies are gonna go easy on me this weekend? Not a chance! They're out for blood after we wiped the floor with them last season.”

   “Out for blood, huh? Okay, well pick up the bat and I promise I won't hold back then, Princess.”

    She resumed her stance and Dylan shook his head.

    “Here,” he began crossing the yard in a few strides to stand behind her. He widened her grip on the bat and helped her crouch a bit lower. “Gotta widen that stance, baby girl. Otherwise the first speed ball's gonna knock you right off of home plate.”

      He returned to the makeshift pitcher's mound that he and Maggie had made with a pile of her kinetic sand. It was a project that you had been none too happy about.

      He stomped his feet a few times before releasing a steady pitch.

      With a loud crack, the young girl sent the ball sailing away from her. Dylan hit a backwards run in an attempt to catch it, but it soared over the fence anyway.

   You watched from the open kitchen window as your boyfriend raced across the yard and hefted the small girl onto his shoulder.

   “And the Mag-ster rounds first! She's off to second! Oh my God, she's flying past third! Aaaand she makes it all the way home!” He shouted as he ran a circle in the yard and Maggie cheered, her small fists pumping into the air as Dylan mimicked the sound of a crowd roaring. He placed the child on the ground and you couldn't help but chuckle.

    You and Dylan had been going steady for two years now, but it always made you smile to watch him with Maggie. He was the best daddy to her that he never had to be and it made you love him even more.

      You thought back to the day that he first entered you and Maggie's lives as you finished washing up the mountain of dishes in the sink.

***********”**

     You adjusted the settings outside of the batting booth before crouching in front of your preschooler.

    “You sure you want to do the batting cages? We could go for another round of skee ball instead.” You suggested as the little girl before you adjusted her baseball helmet and shook her head. The child-sized aluminum bat in her hand still looked humongous and you bit your lip, wondering why you'd agreed to let her go in there and let a machine lob baseballs at her.

    “I wanna baseball! I'm tired of just tee ball! It's time to break into the big girl game, because one day I'm gonna play for the New York Mets.” She told you matter-of-factly as she stepped into the cage.

   You blamed the babysitter. She was a sweet woman that kept Maggie for next to nothing and she had two boys of her own that were only a little older for your daughter to play with.

   The sitter's oldest son, Jacob, was nine and he played little league, which meant he and his brother often tried to get Maggie to play catch with them outside. Jacob was Maggie's hero and a die-hard New York Mets fan. All the time she spent with Jacob had ignited a fire within your near five year old. It had started with endless tee ball games in the local junior league and now...batting cages at the family fun arena.

   You wrung your hands nervously as the first pitch shot out. You'd set the machine on the lowest setting but it still felt like the ball was the Roadrunner, jetting away from Wile E. Coyote as it hurdled towards your small child. Certainly anyone watching must have thought you were insane to let her in there.

   Maggie held her own, swinging confidently even though the ball barely glanced the end of her bat. The metallic ting caused her to giggle wildly.

   “I hit it!” She shouted.

   “Hey, good job!” a male voice came from behind.

   You whipped your head to see a tall slender man wearing khaki pants and, coincidentally, a Mets jersey. Your eyes scanned over him, your bottom lip tucking itself involuntarily between your teeth.

   He twisted his baseball cap, leaving the bill sticking out behind him and tucked his folded sunglasses into his shirt. He gave you a polite smile and nod, the fluorescent lights overhead catching his honey colored eyes just enough to make them sparkle.

   Your heart all but stopped as you smiled back and quickly averted your gaze, embarrassed that he'd no doubt noticed you checking him out.

    “Thank you. She lives for this stuff.” You said shyly.

     TING

   “I hit it again!” Maggie squealed in delight, turning to face you. “Who's he?”

   She scrunched her face up as she stepped out of the cage.

  “Oh I was just waiting my turn is all. I'm going to use the cage when you're finished. Nice form in there,though. If you'd like, maybe I could give you some pointers.” The man said.

     “You would?!” She squawked.

    You were taken aback by the way he peered directly into Maggie's eyes when he talked to her. Not many people were so attentive when they spoke, especially to children. It made your knees feel weak as he trained his eyes on you in the same fashion.

   “I'm Dylan.” He offered, extending a hand.

************

    Your attention was pulled back to the present as you heard Maggie's sassy, near whiny voice through the window.

   “I am NOT a baby anymore, Dylan. I'm getting bigger everyday, you know.” She scoffed.

   He nodded. “Unfortunately.”

   You stepped onto your tiptoes to get a better view of the two loves of your life, straining to hear their conversation. They were seated on the patio now, Dylan helping Maggie oil her own glove as well as his own.

    “Mommy says that if I want to keep playing I have to take good care of my equipment. She said only responsible players get into the big leagues, so I have been trying to oil my mitt like you showed me, but sometimes it's hard.” The girl huffed as her mentor lifted his large hands-the ones that plagued your every day dream- and placed them over hers, patiently guiding her movements.

   “You want to make sure you get into every groove, Princess. Every crevice. See? You've got it. I'm so glad to hear you've been listening to Mom while I've out of town, though.”

     You let out a sigh, a warm feeling spreading from your chest throughout your body, a small chuckle escaping you. How did you ever get lucky enough to find him?

    “Dylan, can I ask you a question?” Maggie piped up.

     “Anything, squirt. What's on your mind?”

    “Why were you and Mommy yelling at each other last night?”

     Dylan's eyes went wide as he turned his gaze to his own mitt.

    “Wha..wuddaya mean? We weren't-”

     “Come on, O'Brien. I'm not deaf. You were saying, ‘Oh, Y/N,’ and Mommy kept screaming 'Dylan, oh my God’. Were you guys fighting?”

    You tried to stifle a laugh, your hand flying over you lips as you remembered the absolutely mind blowing events from the night before. The ones your daughter had apparently overheard. You could barely see your boyfriend's cheeks turning bright red right about now and you would have paid good damned money to get a view of that up close.

    “Uh, no. We weren't...we weren't fighting, Princess.” Dylan tried to be vague and he cleared his throat. You knew he was silently hoping that his answer had been enough to end the conversation, but you also knew Maggie better than that.

   “Oh. Well then what were you doing?”

    Dylan turned to wipe off his hands, holding the towel out for Maggie to do the same.

    “We were...we were talking in our sleep.”

    “I heard banging, Dyl.”

     The dark haired man gulped audibly, one hand rubbing over the days old stubble of his chin.

    “Uh...that? Oh we were… okay listen. You know I love your Mommy, right Princess?”

    Maggie nodded, “Yep! And she loves you.”

    “That's right. So we love each other. Sometimes, uh...when a boy loves a girl...ya know...they...dance...together?”

      You cackled softly listening to Dylan not even buying his own bullshit.

   “Oh. But I can dance without banging, see?”

   Maggie hopped from her seat and swept into a graceful ballerina twirl, her hands above her head.

    “Well that's because you're a beautiful baseball-playing ballerina, and as such you're very graceful. Mommy and I...well, we're sort of clumsy.”

   The child laughed. “So you mean you guys fall down a lot?”

   “Exactly.”

    “So that's why you were yelling right? You just kept knocking each other down?” the six year old cocked a skeptical eyebrow and Dylan nodded.

    “You're gonna have to do better than that, Dyllie. I'm not buying it.”

     Your boyfriend let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay how's this? We were dancing together because we love each other and we're clumsy so we kept falling down, but then he had...um bruises..?” He stopped short, clearly at a loss.

   “The truth, please. I was born at night but not last night, ya know?” Maggie sassed with an eye roll.

   “Okay the truth is... The truth is that I love your Mom and she loves me and sometimes when you love someone so much you just...you want to show them. There are things that you will learn about when you're older that help grown ups show each other how much they love their boyfriend or their girlfriend. And so..that's what we were doing. But those things are for grown ups only. I mean...grown ups that love each other and want to get married someday...not just any old boyfriend and girlfriend…”

     Your heart stopped at the thought. You and Dylan had been together for a long time, but somehow you'd never talked about marriage before.

    Maggie stared at him, one eyebrow cocked, her face scrunched in thought.

    “Do you..? You understand anything I just said?” He asked nervously.

    “Uuuuhhhh…..go Mets?” Maggie replied still obviously confused.

    Dylan laughed loudly as he ruffled her hair. “That's my girl!”

    “I don't even wanna know anymore,” she shook her head. “As long as you promise you and Mommy aren't breaking up.”

    Dylan wrapped his arms around her shoulders pulling her into a tight hug.

   “No way, Princess. You two aren't going to get rid of me that easily.”

     “Hey, Mommy!” Maggie beamed as you appeared in the sliding glass doorway.

      “Hey, kiddo. Why don't you take your gear upstairs for me? Dylan and I need to talk.”

      She complied with your request, gathering her belongings and tossing them into her athletic bag before hefting it inside.

     You grinned widely at Dylan as your daughter disappeared up the stairs. He exhaled audibly, silently mouthing “thank you,” as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

       He ambled across the patio, wrapping his long arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly close.

   “I know you were listening, you evil woman. Way to leave me hanging.”  Dylan muttered, his lips brushing yours as he spoke. His whiskey eyes were locked on yours, making your knees suddenly feel weak.

   “I dunno, you seemed to be handling things pretty well on your own.”  You smugly replied.

    “Yeah? You think so? I'd love to show you a few other things I can handle pretty well.” he pressed his lips to yours and you giggled into the caress.

    “You mean like...Go Mets?”

    He scoffed, giving you his near award-winning, lopsided smile.

    “You're damn right, go Mets.”

[loststormtrooper]

Ive been slowly reading the Splinter Cell books and im almost finished the third one and I have complaints

Spoiler warning I guess for books that are over 10 years old if anyone cares about them.

So the first book was great. They got one of the bond writers to do it and it was so good. Splinter Cells identities have been leaked and Sam Fishers life is at stake throughout the whole thing because for the first time ever, the enemy know who he is. His chapters are in first person which makes everything feel so much more personal. All the other chapters following other characters are in third which gives this nice cutscene kind of feeling that games have when they show something your character wouldnt know. Its a book series based on a game, it just felt right. Sam's daughter gets kidnapped because The Shop (big bad weappns company) wants to stop Third Echelon from getting in the way of their sales and Sam is the one who is trying to stop them and stop them from doing deals with The Shadows which are trying to get the US out of the middle east so their country can take over another. Fisher ends up disrupting these deals and saves his daughter. But like, how it goes is so well. Sams daughter gets invited overseas with her friend and they both ger drugged and kidnapped by someone they thought was their friend! The stakes are high af because they killed off the friend and are going to kill Sams daughter and him if he cant stop all this stuff from happening. And theres the whole war nuclear weapon deals going on that he also has to stop. So good.

Anna Grimsdotir isnt present in this book because they need wiggle room for the next book and shes replaced with Carly who is also an analyst. Theres this nice tight nit friendship between Sams team at Third Echelon with Lambert, Carly, Sam, and and Mike that sets things up for the next book. Also Sams Grav Maga teacher, they flirt a bit, nice side story which leads into the next book. Pretty much everything leads into the next book because even though Sam defeated The Shadows, The Shop is still a major weapons dealer and have the identities of other Splinter Cells and needs to be stopped.

So next book, Operation Barracuda. Sam and his team need to find out who leaked the Splinter Cells information and stop The Shop. Uh oh! It was Mike and he had to kill Carly IN THE THIRD ECHELON OFFICE because she was about to figure out it was him and he escapes and the Triad offer to get him out of the country, he just has to get to the right place and theyll fly him out. Good setup for these cat and mouse chapters where and FBI agent is trying to keep up with Mike. Also Mike was actually planted in Third Echelon years ago and he and his brother have deals with the Triad to sell stuff which The Shop does t like because theure supposed to sell things to them and then they sell to the Triad.

All of these bad guys have one goal though. Theyre dealing with a rogue chinese general that wants to invade Hong Kong. So theres all this infighting and build up to when people, even the bad guys, start to figure more stuff about the other groups. The Triad, being in Hong Kong, dont want to be invaded, but the deals theyve done with bad guy general have provided him with a nuckear submarine that he threatens to detonate on the US coast unless they withdraw from Taiwan.

During all of this that krav maga teacher and Sam have had a few dates and are at Sams place. But when they are walking down the street she is gunned down and Sam is forced to leave her dead body on the street with people around because he cant risk being having anyone looking into who he is, even local police and government because he is in a secret agency. Amazing side story. It's a lot like the side stuff with his daughter in the first book, it gives him more motive outside of it just being a job, these people have killed 2 of his friends, one of which he was really into.

Back to bad guy stuff. FBI guy gets killed by Mikes brother after he goes into a shady place to arrest him. The triad are already there and hes just dead now. But he did arrest Mike so they got info from him which leads same to the Triad. In a pretty cool turn of events the general invades but theres no one to stop him! Oh wait! The Triad takes arms and fights off his army and its rad. Sam had gone into that shady building (just remembered its a night club) and gave them information about the generals attack and then left. It was a different chapter because he wasnt being stealthy, he just walked in and demanded to speak to people and it worked. When all this general vs Triad stuff is happening, Sam is dealing with The Shop. The general is defeated, the leak for the Splinter Cell information is in custody, and The Shop is finally shut down!

Next book... set before the first and has a new writer. All of it is in third person and it doesnt feel like the first for obvious reasons. Theres a handful of spelling errors spread throughout which really take you out of it because now youre thinking about this spelling error.

Starts with Sam having to sneak onto a ship thats going to crash onto the US coast and its packed with radioactive material or bombs? It wasnt clear to me. But he stops it and gets out. Its a pretty one track story whereas the other two books had a handful of stuff going on and it all worked neatly. Third Echelon need to know where the nuclear stuff came from to know who did it. He sneaks back on the ship which is under quarantine and takes a sample or something? There was something about having to get engine manufactuing codes to find out where the ship had done repairs and see where it came from but that branching plot just ends later in the book when Lambert says that his analysts found out where it was from. Sam need to find out where nuclear stuff came from. For reasons i cant remember because nothing in this book is worth remembering half the time, Sam has to go to Chernobyl to collect radiated material to see if they match. Thats not the unmemorable part, how they decided to go there to find it specifically is. Anyway, its a match and they figure out who did it and why by knowing who made the ship and how they got the nuclear material. The whole Chernobyl bit could have been better. It didnt feel like anything was at stake. And there was this awkward side story with a woman who helped him get into the dangerous areas unnoticed where theyd flirt and nothing would come of it and then theres nothing else about her ever again.

Then theres all this stuff of Sam infiltrating other places which leads him to another place which leads him to another place. Its very linear and theres a few chapters where he sneaks into a private island thats impossible to sneak onto but he does and it doesnt feel like anything is at stake. The whole book is about having to find out who did this one almost bombing and poisoned a whole towns water supply with radiated material, making it a wasteland, before the US declares war on the wrong nation for ot. But every time they get more information, they suddenly have more time and need to hurry, but then they do that and get more time but need to hurry! At one point they mention the president will declare war in 24 hours and im pretty sure its been like 4 days since then and nothing.

Also! Theres this terrible character cliche guy i hate. There's like 5 chapters spread out through the book where its this weird guy who is clearly the villain ( not bad guy or terrorist, hes just a bad villain) that talks all fancy and as if hes got this grand plan happening and keeps talking about chess and imagining chess moves after he gets new information. Its annoying and i hate him. Get a new character. It doesnt even have to be him, use one of the heads of the bad guy groups that are already established, god. I've got 6 chapters to go and Sam doesnt even know about that chess bad guy yet.

Tbh im considering skipping the next book because its the same writer and the Conviction books and Blacklist book are written by other people. It hasnt been release who i dont think though. Its all a pseudonym.

So i just finished Splinter Cell Checkmate. Its 2 days after i wrote that whole thing and it gets way better in the last 5 chapters. It was much more fast paced and actiony. The rest of the book was slow and not that interesting. There was a bit that brought back a character from earlier who was shot in the head but the bullet hit ar a weird angle and he was left to die. Sam found him and theres this nice calm part of the chapter of Sam trying to get him out without making his wound worse but he wasnt fast enough and he dies. Then Sam finally gets the location of the annoying chess bad guy with some information from now dead guy. It literally ended with Sam saying "...checkmate " to him which fealt really forced... they never met until now and Sam onlt mentioned chess once in the whole book besides that. I think he played it with a friend for a paragraph while they chatted. Epilogue was ok too. The woman who helped him into Chernobyl was in a wax museume and Sam rocks up with a passport for her to get out and fly back to the US with him. Was weird. They flirted maybe twice halfway through the book and then he rocks up with that. She didnt even know his name until the epilogue because he used an alias.

Anyway, first two books are great, third was super slow but ended ok.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Let’s Not Fall In Love (Park Jimin x You ONESHOT)

A/N:This request is written with inspiration from Big Bang's Let's Not Fall In Love and this line from 5SOS' Lie To Me:

"And I know that you don't But if I ask you if you love me I hope you li-li-li-lie Lie to me " 😢😢😭😭

Angst, angst and angst all over. And oh yeah a lot of implied smut but nothing on real smut since I still dont think I'm good at it :( I am sorry about that. I dont know if this is what you have in mind anon but I really do hope you enjoy it 😘

anddd REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

MASTERLIST

"Don't fall in love with me,"

Those are the last thing that came out from Jimin's mouth before he crashes his lips into hers, hands busy holding her up so she can wrapped her legs around his waist. And as Jimin walked them into his bedroom, everything else doesnt matter as the two of them engulfed themselves in each other's passionate embraced.

Y/N and Jimin are friends. Well, not really close friends, but yes, friends. But there has always been some undescribable sexual tension between them even from the moment they were first introduced to each other by their mutual friend, the one and only Kim Taehyung.

Years of being friends with Taehyung, Y/N never once said yes to his millions invite to hang out with his group members until that fateful night. After a week of being holed up in her room after a disastrous breakup with her long time boyfriend and after swearing in every way possible that she will never ever fall in love and cursing every male she sees, Y/N finally agress to Taehyung's invite.

She has seen the six boys in pictures, obviously who hasnt? They are known worldwide, and heard a lot about them from Taehyung but he didnt imagined them to look this... this beautiful in real life.

Especially Park Jimin.

With his soft blonde hair falling lightly into his eyes as he smirked and swirl his drink, obviously eyeing her up and down as Taehyung introduced them, Y/N feel her whole body tingles under his domineering gaze and she suddenly felt the urgent need to know this man.

And that's percisely what she did.

What started off as countless innocent dinner and hangout sessions with the whole group slowly turns into nights of hanging out together, just the two of them. Y/N can feel Taehyung giving them curious looks whenever they excuse themselves to be alone or when Y/N quietly ditch him to spend the night with Jimin instead. It didnt get past Taehyung the subtle touches and meaningful looks the two of them gave to each other, sharing emotions that was never spoken, making him worry.

"Be careful Y/N. Jimin is not the kind of man you should fall in love with, and I know you. You are the kind of girl who falls in love, no matter what you say," Taehyung followed you around your apartment as you start to put away your newly bought groceries.

"Okay, first of all, I dont know what you are talking about. Second, there's definitely nothing going on between Jimin and me and third, I'm not that easy. I have given up on men remember?" She rolled her eyes. Taehyung ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"I know you are not easy Y/N. But... I just care about you. You are my best friend. And I know Jimin. And I definitely know the looks you two gave each other,"

"Tae," she turns to him and shake his shoulders. "Its sweet that you worry about me. But nothing is going to happen between us. I promise,"

Taehyung groaned. "Fine. I'm trusting you on this Y/N. I just dont want you to get hurt again after what that asshole did to you," Y/N cringe at the reminder of her ex boyfriend. "Just... just dont fall in love with Jimin, okay?"

Y/N smile and kisses his cheeks. "You are very sweet Tae. The best best friend ever,"

"Just promise me Y/N," Taehyung pouts, making her chuckle.

"I promise I wont fall in love with Jimin,"

/////

It hasnt even been a month and Y/N has already broken her promise to Taehyung. A little dirty dancing on the club's dance floor, a little too much to drink and a few suggestive whisper from Jimin to her ear as he grind into her leads to the two of them stumbling outside the club flagging down a cab, making their way to her apartment, lips attached to one another the whole way there.

Y/N fumbled with her keys as Jimin keeps on kissing her neck. After finally opening the door with much difficulty, the two of them tumbles in where Jimin immediately turned her around and pinned her against the wall, kissing her lips passionately. He slowly trailed down to her jawline, neck and collarbone, leaving red and purple marks that will surely show tomorrow making her moan out loud.

"Y/N..." he hissed slowly, which is only answered by another moan. "Y/N, I have wanted to do this for so long," he whispered between kisses which is now slowly trailing down to her chest.

"Nghhh,"

"Do you want me? I need to hear you say it princess," Jimin's voice husky and needy, breaking through her hazy mind as his kisses trails back to her jaw and lips.

"Yes.. yes Jimin. I want you. I want you so bad," Jimin suddenly stopped and cupped her face between his hands, making her look at him. With dark eyes glazed with lust and want he rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb.

"If we do this I need you to promise me one thing,"

"Wh..what is it?" Y/N stutttered. She wants him so bad for so long and after tasting him, there is nothing she wouldnt agree on just to have him tonight.

"Dont fall in love with me,"

Y/N was surprised. At the back of her mind she could hear Taehyung's warning repeating itself. It scares her a little why Jimin himself is saying this to her in the middle of something so passionate. Something so intimate. Jimin leaned in and start to kiss her earlobes, slinking down to her neck, making her moan and lose all rationality again.

"Do you promise?" He whispered as he brings his head up to her ears again. Consumed with want, Y/N couldnt think straight. Afterall, its impossible to fall in love with someone just from one night of passionate sex right? And she wants Jimin so bad, she felt like dying. Afraid that he would stop if her answer is the opposite she rapidly nodded her head.

"Yes Jimin, yes!"

"Thank God," was what Y/N was sure she heard as Jimin suddenly kissed her hard after listening to her answer. Tounge and plump lips asking permission for more as they lick and pulled her bottom lip. His hands are busy holding her up so she can curled her legs around hjs waist, grazing against his hard erection and making her already short dress bunch up higher around her waist, exposing her white lace panties that's already damp from all his ministrations. He quickly carried her back to her bedroom and threw her on the bed before he crawls over her, dark obsidian eyes looking deep into hers.

"You are mine tonight princess,"

Y/N wake up smiling the next day as she traces Jimin's handsome sleeping face beside her. What happened last night makes her blush but she still couldnt get her eyes off how beautiful he is, even when he's sleeping. A different kind of feeling start to bloom in her chest but she quickly shakes it away after remembering both Taehyung's and Jimin's warning.

"Done staring at me?" Jimin's raspy morning voice break her thoughts and she blinked to see Jimin, eyes wide open, smiling at her. She ducked her head and blushed harder.

"I dont think you have anything to be embarassed about after last night princess. You were quite the-" Y/N's eyes widen and she quickly slapped her hands over his mouth to stop him from finishing off his statement. Jimin laughs out loud.

"You are so cute," he said as he scoot up, leaning against the headboard, making the blanket that's covering his body slid down to his waist, revealing his toned and chiseled chest, now littered with purple and red marks. Y/N felt her face heat up in embarassment once again and tried to rolled away, getting off the bed but Jimin managed to pull her before she can escape, making her fall on top of him.

"I dont think we are done yet princess," his voice husky as he nibbled her earlobe, making Y/N close her eyes and moan, enjoying the sensation. Jimin slid off the blanket that is wrapped around her, revealing her naked body before eyeing her up and down.

"You are so beautiful," he said against her lips before capturing them with his, hands adjusting her so she straddled his naked hips, his now hard erection grazing her wet hot core. "Ride me princess,"

/////

Jimin buttoned up his shirt from last night after a warm shower, turning to smile at Y/N who is still wrapped up in the blanket on the bed, looking at him.

"Hey, do you... maybe uh want to grab some lunch?" Y/N hesitantly asked as she scooted up her upper body so she is now leaning against the headboard.

"I would love to but I cant today. I have to get back to the dorm," Jimin flashed her an apologetic smile.

"Oh? But Tae said you guys had a free day today?"

"Yeah we do. I need to get ready. I have a date this evening," Jimin said so casually as he tried to patted down his messy hair in the mirror. Y/N felt her chest tighten at his words.

A date? After they just...

"A... a date?" Jimin turned around to face her, giving her a questioning look.

"Yeah. Why?" He cocked his head before his eyes widen after seeing the expression on her face. "Shit Y/N. Did you perhaps thinks that we are together now or something? I thought I already told you-"

"No, no," YN waved her hands around, trying to surpressed the hurt she felt. She knew he had warned her beforehand, but she thought last night would mean something to him. "Just surprised is all. I just didnt know you had plans," she gave him a tiny smile, hoping it would cover the pain she is suddenly feeling. Jimin released a deep breath, feeling relieved.

"Thank god. I thought for a second there you actually thought there's something more between us other than just sex," he laughs. Y/N felt her heart cracked at how casual Jimin is. Just sex? Is that what this is to him? Dont their friendship means something more to him than branding her into just another girl he fucked? Jimin lean in and kiss her forehead, something that feels intimate to Y/N but she knew its just an innocent gesture that doesnt mean anything to Jimin. "I have to go now, I'm late. See you around and maybe we can do... this again sometime," he winked before heading out the door.

Y/N heard the front door clicked, indicating Jimin has left her apartment. She felt her chest tighten more and more as she look around her room that is littered with evidence of last night's lovemaking, or according to Jimin, just sex. Y/N closes her eyes and scream out her frustration at the top of her lungs, throwing her pillow across the room, hitting the things on her desk.

They warned you Y/N. Do not fall in love with Park Jimin.

/////

Despite the pain she felt that first time they slept together and Jimin just left for a date, Y/N keeps on going back to him. Everytime he looks her way or when his hand lingered a little longer on her thigh...

Park Jimin is forbidden and a sin. But he's a sin that Y/N is willing to go to hell for.

And that is how she ended up between the sheets with Jimin countless of times where he will wakes up the next day and move on with his life, meeting girls and flirting with everybody he sees. Sometimes it hurts her to see a fresh batch of love bites littering his body when they get together. Love bites that doesnt belong to her. But she wanted Jimin so bad, she's willing to just close her eyes and pretend she didnt see them as she basked in his kisses and passionate touch for the night. To make things worse, well at least worse for Y/N's heart that is slowly falling for him, Jimin will care for her, showing her how concern he is and worry about her. Always cleaning her up and tucking her in, even makinh breakfast on days he didnt have anything else plan. Jimin would listen to her if she had a bad day at work or at class, and gave her tired feet a good rub when she needed it. Y/N knows that sex aside, they were first and foremost, friends. And friends take care of each other.

And that is all she is to Jimin. Friends. Maybe with some extra benefit.

And she needs to get that into her hopelessly love sick brain.

"You are sleeping with him arent you?" Taehyung sudden question took her by surprise, making her almost choked on her pancakes.

"Who?" Y/N tries her best to feign ignorance. But Taehyung knows better and rolled his eyes.

"Park freaking Jimin. Who else?"

"Wh..what? Why would you say that?"

"Well... maybe because he always comes back from your apartment with last night's clothes and butt tons of hickeys that always give our stylist a hard time to cover up everytime we had a shoot the next day?"

"He...hey. why do you assumed its me. Jimin meets a lot of women-"

"That's right. Jimin does meet a lot of women. Its who he is," Taehyung cut her off, his eyes now soft as he looks at his best friend's face. "Y/N... I warned you and I dont want you to get hurt,"

"Tae," Y/N reached out to hold Taehyung's hand across the table, pushing her plates of pancakes to the side. "I'm okay. I know what kind of relationship me and Jimin have. We are something like... friends with benefit?" She hesitates. "A lot of benefit actually," she chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

"But Y/N. I know you. You are the type of girl who wants a real relationship. You want breakfast in bed and cuddles. Ice cream dates and flowers. Late night texts and video calls. Not some fuck me and leave me kinda relationship," Taehyung's furrowed his eyebrows in worry.

"Tae, dont worry about me. I'm a big girl, I know what I'm doing," she poke her now limped pancakes. "You had warned me. Even Jimin himself had warned me. I know what I'm doing okay?" Taehyung sighed.

"Fine. If you say so," his expression turns serious. "But Y/N. You know I'm only saying this because I care about you right? You are my best friend and I dont want you to get hurt," Y/N smile at how cute Taehyung is. Always taking care of her.

"I know Tae. I know. And I'm glad to have someone like you on my side," and if only my heart actually listen to you before falling helplessly in love with Park Jimin.

/////

As days passes by, Y/N's heart grows fonder of Jimin and she felt like he is changing too. He starts to spend more extra time with her now. No more immediately leaving the apartment after their morning quickies, but instead he takes her out to eat, or cook breakfast together jn her tiny kitchen. Some days, they even skip the sex and spend the night cuddle up in a blanket, watching a movie until they fall asleep. With all the changes in his behavior, Y/N starts to feel a sense of hope.

Is Park Jimin falling in love with her too?

God, she hope he is, because she's not afraid to admit it now. She is hopelessly in love with Park Jimin.

But dreams are what it is, a dream. After Jimin suddenly cancelled his plan to come over one night, of course without any further explanation, Y/N decides to finally join back the real world and went out to dinner with her girlfriends at some fancy restaurant. The night went well, they talked about everything and laughing so hard until her mouth hurts, well that is until one of her friends point to a table behind her.

"Omg, that's BTS' Park Jimin!" Y/N felt her heart beats faster at the sound of his name, a smile starting to formed on her lips. "He's on a date! Omg! And she's beautiful!"

Y/N's smile immediately dissapeared after that. A date? She knows Jimin met up with other woman while he's sleeping with her. Heck, he even sleeps with other woman while he's sleeping with her. But she thought his feelings changed this past few weeks. Doesnt he treat her better now? More special? Why is he still going on dates?

"Hey, that's the girl from the new girl group isnt it?" Another friend ask. Y/N downed the rest of her drink, feeling she needs all the liquid courage she can have before she turns around and look at what her friends are gaping about. True enough, the moment she turns around, Jimin is sitting in the table just right behind her, devastatingly handsome with his blond hair styled neatly and dressed in a slim fitted black suit with a white shirt underneath. Y/N suddenly felt a pang of possesiveness and jealousy but she knows there's nothing she can do about it but stare. Jimin finally  caught her staring and the moment he did, he smile at her and raised his glass, indicating a greeting. As if she is just a friend he saw while being on a date.

Wait. That is exactly what's happening. Jimin is on a date. And Y/N is his friend.

Y/N felt her chest tighten and turned back around immediately. How can Jimin act this way? Does she really meant nothing to him?

"Holy crap. Did Park Jimin just raised his glass to you Y/N?" One of her friends exclaimed.

"N..no. I dont think so,"

"He obviously did!" Another one cut in. Y/N didnt know what to say until she remembers that they know about her and Taehyung's long term friendship.

"Urm maybe. Taehyung introduced us once. I didnt think he would still recognized me though," she gave a sheepish smile.

"Oh yes. I forgot about that. Damn you are one lucky bitch Y/N. That best friend of yours is extremely hot. Arent you ever going to introduce Taehyung to us?" And just like that the conversation switch from Park Jimin to Kim Taehyung's level of hotness and Y/N has never been more grateful.

Y/N peeled off her dressed and hopped in the shower, putting on her comfiest nightie once done. A night that's supposed to help her relax and forget turns into a disaster. All because Park freaking Jimin decides to date some extremely beautiful girl idol and bring her to the most expensive restaurant in town. Trying to drown her thoughts in the drama series she's currently watching and failing miserably, Y/N dragged her pathetic self into her room, ready to just sleep when someone knock on her front door. Without thinking much, she went and opened it, assuming it must be her best friend. Taehyung do love to show up unexpectedly in the middle of the night anyway.

But what stands in front of her is not Kim Taehyung, but Park Jimin. Still dressed in the suit he wore to the godforsaken date and leaning against the door frame, a smirk on his face.

"Hi princess," Y/N rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here Jimin?"

"Well," he straighten up, but the smile still not leaving his beautiful face. "I cant get over how gorgeous you look when I saw you at the restaurant just now. I swear princess, every guy in there is just staring at you. And it makes me angry,"

Y/N suddenly felt heat blooms up in her chest at Jimin's sudden show of possesiveness. Is Jimin jealous?

"Why does it matter to you if they look at me? You have your idol princess with you there right," Y/N hate how childish, petty and jealous she sounds but that is just how she feels. Jimin chuckle and steps inside her apartment, closing the door and locking it.

"She's beautiful isnt she?" Jimin asks, anger start to rise in Y/N with his question. "But I dont simply take girls home on a first date Y/N. You know that. And seeing you there... if gives me a problem that I think only you can help," he whispered huskily as he steps closer to her. Y/N felt like crying. Is that all she is to him? A place to satisfy himself? Y/N pushed him away and walked off.

"No. Im not doing this tonight. Im not going to sleep with you just because you get horny after your date and is not able to fuck her Jimin!"

"Oh come on princess. Isnt that what our relationship is about? Helping each other?" He pulls her arm, closing the gap between them once again. Y/N blinked back the tears that threaten to fall. Jimin is right. When they first agreed to this... this friends with benefit arrangement, that is what the two of them had agreed upon. To help each other released their sexual frustration whenever they need to.

Well, that was before she fell in love with him.

Now, every touch, every kiss from him felt different. Even the way he smile at her makes her heart flutter. She doesnt just want him physically, she wants him emotionally, she wants all of him. The good, the bad, his flaws and his mistake, everything.

Jimin starts to give butterfly kisses from her ear down to her neck before capturing her lips with his. "Dont tell me you dont want me tonight princess, when your body is telling me otherwise," he whisper as he nibbled her ear, his warm breath sending her shivers. Everything about Jimin is intoxicating. His scent, his voice, his taste... it makes Y/N forget everything else. With nimble hands Jimin pushed down the straps of her nightie off her shoulders, making the skimpy outfit fell to the ground, leaving her bare to his eyes.

"You are beautiful. Always so beautiful for me," he said againsts her lips as he captured hers with his and lead her into the bedroom.

Y/N woke up to the smell of waffles and coffee the next day. As she rubbed her sleepy eyes and padded towards the kitchen, she giggled as she is greeted with the sight of Jimin in her flowery apron, setting the table with the breakfast he successfuly prepared without burning the kitchen down.

"Oh, you are awake," he leaned over and kissed her cheeks, making Y/N's heart swell. "Come, eat," he smile and lead her to her seat. That's the thing about Jimin. He confuses her. One minute he acts as if their relationship means nothing but sex to him, and then he suddenly acts all sweet and acting like the perfect boyfriend. Y/N wishes nothing more than to understand what's going on in that brain of his. To understand him. To know him.

"I have the day off today. Want to spend it together? We can eat delicious food and catch a movie. Maybe take a walk in the park later in the evening?" Jimin suggested between shoving waffles in his mouth. Y/N couldnt help the smile that blooms across her face. Of course she would love to spend the day with Jimin. She would agree to anything as long as its Jimin.

"That sounds great,"

The day went amazingly well. They had fun, talking and laughing. Despite having to wear masks and hide out from one shop to another in order to avoid Jimin's fangirls, the rest of the day went smoothly. As he drops her off at her apartment he leans in and kiss her on the cheeks.

"Thanks for today. I needed that. Work has been crazy," he smile.

"No problem. I had fun too," she fiddled with her hands. "Do you... do you want to come in?" Jimin laughs.

"Why are you so nervous around me? That is so cute," he pinched her cheeks. "But no. Not tonight. I have to go back to the dorm or Namjoon hyung will kill me," he laughs again.

"Okay then," Jimin was about to walk away when he turns back around.

"Oh, dont forget about tomorrow. Tae asks me to remind you that we are going to that new club tomorrow," he reminded her. "See you there?" Y/N nodded.

"Sure. Goodnight Jimin,"

"Goodnight princess," Jimin gave one last smile before walking away, leaving Y/N with a stomach full of butterflies. She wish everyday is as beautiful as today.

The club was crowded, filled to the brim with young people dancing, grinding against each other and drinking well. Y/N finally found Taehyung and the rest of the boys in the VIP area after much difficulty, but as she approached them, she realized that Jimin and Jungkook is missing.

"Before you ask," Taehyung said, knowing exactly who Y/N is looking for and points towards the dance floor where the two man is dancing with some girls, showing off their dance move. Y/N felt her heart is about to burst when she sees the way Jimin stick himself to one of the girl's back, grinding his hips into her ass as one of her hand held around his neck, head leaning against his shoulder. Yesterday was wonderful, they had an amazing day together. Why is he doing this again? Does she really meant nothing to him? Nothing at all?

"You okay?" Taehyung asks, concerned. Y/N averted her gaze from Jimin and smile at her best friend.

"Yeah, yeah. I just need a drink," and drink she did. Glass after glass. Especially when Jimin brought the girl he was dancing with back to their booth, where she sat on his lap the whole time, face buried in his neck, kissing and biting him. Jimin only give Y/N a winked when he first saw her and continue to basked in the girl who is pratically dry humping him in the booth. While the other boys didnt mind them, most probably used to Jimin and his playboy ways, Y/N couldnt stop herself from looking at the two.

Why are you doing this Jimin? Arent I enough? And why are you torturing yourself Y/N? Look away. Look away!

Y/N finally gets up and tumbled to the dance floor, a little drunk, once Jimin starts to make out with the girl, not even a trace of shame or guilt on his face, and decides to find herself a man. Being drunk is a plus point as she starts to dance and grind against the men that showed interest in her. She turned her gaze to the booth and even in her drunken state, she can feel her heart burst and crack as she sees Jimin take the girl's hand and lead her to the exit, waving his members goodbye. A sure sign that he is taking the girl home. Taking her home and doing things that he should be doing with her.

Maybe its the jealousy. Maybe because she's hurt. Maybe because she's just drunk.

Maybe because she just love Jimin so much she's willing to self distruct.

Y/N turned back to the mam she's dancing with and whisper in his ear. "Take me home and fuck me tonight," And the man's smile stretched across his face as he leads her out and she gave a drunken wave goodbye to a worry Taehyung before willingly following him out.

Y/N wakes up the next day, naked, dirty, alone and feeling like shit. Her head is throbbing from a massive hangover and it hurts even more when she realizes she had slept with some stranger just out of spite. Just because Jimin hurts her. For the millionth time. And he doesnt even know. After a hot shower, a nice breakfast and a cup of coffee to help heal her hangover, Y/N wrapped herself in her blanket and waste the whole day away just watching TV, although she cant focus on anything she's currently watching.

Her thoughts are only on Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

Did he slept with that girl last night? Did he stay the night? Did he cook her breakfast? Did he feel that she is better than her?

With her head filled with Jimin, unexpected tears finally rolling down her cheeks, Y/N fell asleep, only to be awaken by a knock on her door. Still in dazed and not fully awake, she opened it to find Park Jimin standing in front of her, smiling.

"Jimin?"

"Hey princess. Just coming to check on you. Tae said you were pretty drunk last night," he chuckles at her dazed expression. "Looks like it hits you hard,"

"Why do you care? Arent you busy last night?" She snapped.

"What's with you? I came because I'm your friend and I dont want you to be hangover alone," Jimin raised his eyebrows at Y/N's biting tone.

"Oh now you care?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You didnt care much when that girl from last night was busy dry humping you in the club last night," Jimin sighed.

"Seriously Y/N? This again? Are you going to be like this whenever you see me with another girl?" Y/N didnt answer and turned away. How is she supposed to answer that without revealing her real feelings for him? Jimin pulled her hand, not satisfied with her silence, making the wide collar of her baggy tshirt slipped down her shoulder, exposing the many marks on her neck from her night with the stranger.

"Did you bring someone home last night?" Jimin questioned as he eyed the marks all over body, knowing immediately that those marks didnt belong to him. Y/N hastily pulled back the collar, covering herself up.

"Even if I did, why do you care?" Jimin gave out a sarcastic laugh.

"You were just a second ago giving me shit because I fucked another girl and yet you did just the same thing last night princess, and you ask me why I care?" he snarled, pulling her closer to him, his grip tight on her wrist.

"Do you think you are the only one who can satisfy me Jimin? Guess what, you arent," Y/N spat back. She and Jimin had never fought to this extend before. They never talked about their relationship or what they do with other people. Plus, Jimin has never put a claim on her, never been this possesive and it feels good. Jimin felt anger start to consumed him. He dont understand why, but he just didnt like it. The thought that somebody else has touched what used to be his. Knowing that somebody else has touched her in the ways he did.He steps closer to her, making her walk backwards and fall onto the couch. He crawls on top of her and held both of her wrist on top of her head as he nuzzle her neck.

"You think he can do it better than me princess? You think he can fuck you better than me?" Jimin's words are cold as he left his own marks over the ones already on her neck. "Tonight you are going to learn to whom you exactly belong to princess,"

/////

Y/N rolled to her side as she look at Jimin's back. Jimin had made love to her four times that night, proving to her to whom she really belongs to. She traces his soft hair with the pad of her fingertips and kiss the back of his neck. Jimin is so beautiful, she felt like crying. She wants him so bad. She wants him to want her. She wants him to love her, just as much as she loves him.

"I love you Park Jimin," she softly whispered as she heard Jimin's steady breathing, indicating that he is asleep. "I know I promise I wont fall in love with you, but I did. I did Jimin..." she nuzzled his neck. "Why wont you love me back Jimin, when I love you so much? What do I have to to make you love me?" She mumbled as she buried her face in his neck and tighten her arms around his waist.

Little did she know that Jimin is wide awake and heard every little thing that she said.

////^

Y/N didnt know what she did wrong. Every since that night it seems as if Jimin was avoiding her. He was fine the next morning. Eating breakfast together with her and went back to the dorm, but after that, there is no more calls or text from him. He didnt even join the boys whenever she went to hang out together with them. Even Taehyung cant answer her question as Jimin never said anything about it to anybody.

Feeling restless as it has been two weeks without hearing anything from Jimin, Y/N takes the drastic measure to just showed up at the dorm unannounced, surprising even Taehyung.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Jimin, Tae. I'm pretty sure he's avoiding me and it drives me crazy because I dont know why," she pulled at her hair. "He's home right?"

"Yeah he is. But I dont think you are going to like what you're going to see," Taehyung mumbled.

"What do you mean?" She asks, cocking her head as Taehyung open the door and let her in, only to be greeted with the sight of a girl leaving Jimin's room, in obvious last night's clothes. Make up smeared and hair messy, as Jimin stand by his door clad only in his boxers saying goodbye to the girl. Y/N patted her chest, trying to calm herself at the sight.

Calm down Y/N. You and Jimin are just friends. There is nothing between the two of you. You have no right over him. No matter how posessive he is over you the last night you were together. You are him and not in a relationship. Remember that.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Jimin only now realizing her presence that has been standing there like a statue. It hurts her to see how calm and composed he is eventhough he knows she saw what goes down between him and the girl just now.

"We need to talk. Can we do it in your room?"

"Yeah sure. Come on in," he motioned towarda his room and closes the door once they entered. He picked up his shirt and puts in on before turning to her. "So.. what's up?"

"What's up? That's what you are going to ask me?" She raised an eyebrow. "Why are you avoiding me Jimin? What did I do?"

"I'm not avoiding you,"

"Please Jimin, dont treat me like a fool. We both know you are avoiding me. I just dont know why," she plead. "Dont you think our friendship means something enough for you to at least tell me why?"

Jimin sighed and ran his hand through his hair, as if contemplating something that is extremely difficult for him. After choosing his words carefully, he opened his mouth.

"I heard what you said that night," his voice is barely above a whisper, but still, in the silence of the room, Y/N heard every single word, making her heart beats faster.

"What?"

"I heard you. That night. When you told me you love me,"

"Jimin, I-"

"You promised me Y/N. You promised me that you wont fall in love with me! Why do you have to ruin everything?"

Ruin everything?

The feeling of nervousness and being scared that she first felt turns into anger and hurt. Is her love really that unworthy? Is loving him means its ruining everything? How dare he!

"Yes, I love you Jimin! Why are you so afraid of it? Why are you so afraid of being loved that you have to go to the extend of avoiding me because of it?!" Y/N's question took him by surprised. He didnt expect her to actually ask him back, or to just admit it.

"I dont want to hurt you Y/N. I care about you. And you loving me is only going to end up with you being hurt!" Y/N closes her eyes as an effort to stop the tears that is prickling her eyes from rolling down. All this while she thought Jimin would at least have a little feeling for her. A tiny bit. But hearing what he's saying now, it just showed that he really doesnt love her at all.

"I know you felt it too Jimin. Maybe you dont love me like I love you, but you cant be this heartless! You cant be this cold. I know you! I can feel it in the way you touch me, smile at me, look at me! I know you felt something too Jimin, and that's why you are so afraid of it!" Y/N's chest heaved up and down from her heavy breathing after she finally lets out everything she's feeling. Jimin rubbed his temples.

"No. I dont fall in love Y/N. I never have and I never will. Not with anyone else and not with you!" He raised his voice, hoping Y/N would understand him. Why is she making things conplicated? "Everything you just said... its all in your head. What we have between us is just amazing sex and there's nothing more to it. You know that when you agreed to this. Dont trick yourself to think otherwise," he sighed. "I do care for you Y/N. You are my friend. But that's the extend to this relationship. You are my friend, and we have sex. That's it. So plesase, please Y/N. Dont try to have me. Dont expect too much from me. Please, dont do this," Jimin sat down on the edge of his bed. Y/N just stood there, whole body shaking as she tries to control herself from breaking down in front of the man she loves.

"I really like you Y/N. But I'm sorry, I cant love you. I want you to stay. I really want to ask you to stay by my side, but I cant do that if you love me," he said softly.

Tears that cant be contained any longer finally rolls down her cheeks. There is nothing left to say. There is nothing she could say.

"You are a selfish bastard Park Jimin," and she ran out.

/////

"What exactly is going on with you and Y/N, Chim?" Taehyung took a seat on Jimin's bed, a week after Y/N ran out from his room. Jimin groaned.

"Do we really have to do this Tae?"

"Yes. We do," Taehyung looked at his best friend. "I dont want to intrude Chim, but Y/N is my best friend and she's not talking to me. I just need to know what happen," Jimin kept quiet as he fiddled with the pen he's holding. There is no point in lying to Taehyung. He is his best friend and he knows him well. If Jimin didnt tell him now, Taehyung will still find out sooner or later. "Fine, if you dont want to talk then I will,"

"She fell in love with you didnt she?" Taehyung's words took Jimin by surprised.

"How do you know?"

"She's my best friend Chim. We have been friends for years. I already knew this would happen from the moment the two of you lay your eyes on each other. She's pure. She's the kind of girl that yearns for love," Taehyung shakes his head. "I already warned her multiple times about you to be honest, but she didnt listen,"

"That's the thing Tae. I warned her too..."

The two boys kept silent for a moment before Taehyung speaks up again.

"Do you really not feel anything for her? Is she really just another one of your girls?" Taehyung raised his head and questioned his friend. Its something that has been lingering too long in his head and he needs to know the truth now.

"I dont know Tae. I care about her and I like her. But I dont know if its enough to say I love her," Jimin takes a deep breath. "But one thing for sure, Y/N is not just another girl to me. She's special, but I dont know if I can give her what she wants Tae and if she stays with me, continue to love me, she will only end up getting hurt,"

"It sure sounds like she is more than just a friend to you Chim,"

"I dont know. I really dont know Tae. I hate it when another man touches her but I dont want her to belong to me either. I have never been in love Tae. I dont know what I'm feeling right now,"

"Well, you better figure it out fast Chim, because she has been rejecting this for a while now, but I think you really broke her heart this time that she finally agrees to the arranged marriage her family has been planning for her,"

"What?!"

/////

"Is it true?"

Y/N quickly pushed the door, hoping to slam it right in front of Jimin's face but he is quicker, and using his strength he pushed it back and enter the apartment.

"Answer me Y/N. Is it true? Are you getting married?"

"Why do you care Jimin?" Y/N finally opened her mouth and he heard how hoarse her voice is, as if she's been crying the past one week, which is most probably what she did. He finally took a step back and look at her. Y/N look tired and pale. Her eyes no longer sparkles, lifeless as it looks at him with dark circles all around it. Jimin felt his heart clenched but he still doesnt know what it means. Does it means that he loves her? Cares for her?

"Just answer me Y/N!"

"Yes! Yes! Is that what you come here to hear? That I will be getting married and be out of your way?" She yelled. "Well congratulations Jimin. Im getting married soon and you wont have to deal with me anymore!" Jimin step closer to her and held her hand.

"Y/N, that is not the reason why I asked you. That's not it at all,"

"Then what is it Jimin? What is it?!" She screamed as her tiny hands keeps on hitting his chest, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Stop doing this to me. Stop confusing me!" Jimin grabbed her hands and hug her tight, halting her movements.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry Y/N," Jimin, not knowing what else to say to calm her down whisper as he buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. He kiss her hair and softly her forehead, then her wet eyelids and both of her cheeks. He wiped her tears with his thumb and keeps on giving butterfly kisses all over her face, all along repeating his chant of I'm sorry to her. Y/N raised her head and look at Jimin's face. He is so beautiful, she loves him so much that her heart hurt.

"Kiss me Jimin. Please just kiss me,"

Without saying anything, Jimin connect his lips to hers, pouring every feeling the two of them felt but is never able to say to each other into that one kiss, as Jimin slowly starts to carry her into her bedroom without breaking the kiss.

"Jimin," Y/N can only moaned his name as he rips of her blouse and start to kiss all over her body. Y/N heard the faint sound of his belt being taken out and finally felt the leather being wrapped around her wrist as Jimin hooked the ends to the bed's headboard, restricting her hand from moving.

"You have been bad to me Y/N. Agreeing to marry someone else, agreeing to let somebody else touch you. You are going to take your punishment like a good girl, okay princess?" Jimin smirked as Y/N can only moan as an answer, and he capture her lips with hers again.

Jimin rolled of her, sweating and panting as he reached up to finally released the leather from bounding her wrists, rubbing and kissing the redden marks on her hand softly with care.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm okay Jimin. Please just cuddle me," she looks at him with glazed eyes, voice soft and tired. Jimin hugged her, her naked back pressed to his equally naked chest as he hug her tight. "Please stay Jimin. Stay tonight. I dont want to be alone. Dont leave. Please dont leave me again,"

"I will stay princess. I promise I will. Just clkse your eyes and sleep, I will be here when you wake up," Jimin hushed her as he kissed her hair, as the two drifted off to sleep.

But Y/N woke up the next day in an empty apartment, no traces of Jimin left anywhere, making her heart break to its final pieces as she screamed and cried her eyes out.

/////

"You look beautiful sweetheart," her mother smile and kiss her hair before leaving her alone in the room. Y/N stare at her reflection. It shows a beautiful girl, dressed in her white wedding dress, hair and makeup perfectly done, with a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

Its her wedding day.

And she dont even recognized the girl in the mirror.

When Jimin left after promising that he would stay that night, Y/N's world shattered. Nothing matters to her anymore. She goes through life like a zombie, doing everything just for the sake of it. Now three weeks later and her wedding day is finally here. A day where every girl dream about, but Y/N only feels like dying.

"Y/N..." Y/N look through the mirror and saw Jimin standing there, smiling at her. She quickly turns around, afraid that she's only dreaming. But she wasnt. Jimin is really standing there. In front of her.

"Jimin,"

"You look beautiful. You are going to the most beautiful bride princess," Jimin smile but she can hear his voice shakes.

"Why are you here Jimin? Why are you doing this to me?" Tears are cascading now her cheeks again and she dont care. She doesnt care aboit anything anymore.

"I... I wanted to see you one last time. And to see myself how beautiful you would look on your wedding day," he smile as his eyes went to the floor before flicking up to her face again. "And I was right. You look beautiful. Ethereal even," Jimin smile and gave her a bow before turning around, ready to make his exit when her voice stopped him.

"Say it Jimin," her voice hoarsed and scratchy from all the crying. "Just this once, tell me you love me. Tell you love me and I'm yours. Tell me you love me and I will leave everything for you. I will give up everything to be with you," she whispered.

Jimin just stood there in front of her, tears rolling down both of his cheeks. Those three words that she so badly wanted to hear are at the tip of his tounge, just waiting to come out, but he cant. He cant do it. He dont even know what's stopping him, but he cant do it.

Park Jimin dont fall in love. And its going to stay that way.

"Please Jimin..." she's begging now, her tears are ruining her perfectly finished makeup. "Please dont do this. I know you felt it too. Please dont let me go. Please Jimin," she cries in desperation. Her heart ache so much that no words can explain the pain she's feeling. She feels like running, stomping off, throwing things, punching a wall, maybe even kill someone, anything at all to subside the pain in her heart. Jimin finally takes a deep breath and opened his eyes, walking slowly towards her. He reached out to carressed her cheeks and she leaned in into his touch that she had missed so much.

"I already told you Y/N. Lets not fall in love," his voice a soft whisper. "I already warned you, dont fall in love with me,"

"Ji...Jimin..."

"I'm not the kind of man to fall in love with anybody Y/N. Not anyone... not even you, someone who is special to me," by the time he finished his sentence Y/N felt like she would collapsed. She cant believe what she's hearing right now.

"You are lying," her voice shakes. "You are lying! You wouldnt be here if you didnt love me!"

"I'll be lying if I told you I love you Y/N," he tried to smirk, to make his words seems more truthful but it looks so staged, so forced in her eyes. He leaned in closer and with one last tear rolling down his cheeks he kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry. Forget about me and live happily with him,"

Y/N pulls his hand and with tears in her eyes asks him one last thing. With determination Jimin answered and walks away, not once looking back at Y/N who crumpled down on the floor, her beautiful white dress puffed up all around her, suffocating her in her tears.

Jimin walks quickly and exited the building and as he reached and close the door, his limped body slide down the wooden door, not even an ounce of energy left, his head in his hands as his body shakes from uncontrolled tears and unbearable sadness as he remembers his last words to her.

Y/N pulls his hand and with tears in her eyes asks him one last thing.

"Then just lie to me. Lie to me and tell me what I want to hear. Lie to me one last time Jimin,"

Jimin looks deep into her eyes and opened his mouth and whispered,

"I love you Y/N,"

With determination Jimin answered and walks away, not once looking back at Y/N who crumpled on the floor, her beautiful white dress puffed up all around her, suffocating her in her tears. Jimin felt his heart breaks into tinier pieces with every step he takes away from her, for to him, his last words to her is the furthest thing from a lie. It was the truest thing he could have ever told her.

[letsleep-away]

Can you share your experience of what it's like being in a psych ward? I've always tried to avoid getting myself into one. Does it ever help at all or does it become another problem/burden with whatever that comes along with it? Also all the best to you, and hope you get well soon.

The number one advice I will give someone is to do their research. If you know you will end up in one, work things around so you at least end up in a good one because psych wards can be dramatically different from one another and it can be the difference between helpful or traumatic. I’ve been to two different ones so far and a psychiatric emergency center. I will put my experiences underneath  because it will be kinda long

1. Emergency psychiatric center: not a psych ward, but if you go to the ER they might send you to one of these. This place is more of a 24-48 hour thing where they figure out where they will place you.(skip this process if you can). In my experience, it was pretty bad. You are basically in a big room with a lot of couches and beds with people who can be very severely mentally ill and sometimes aggressive(so you have to see tons of people being retrained and sedated …and at times unfairly) to people who are just there bc they got drunk and got in a fight/got destructive and had to choose between jail or eps. I was just 19 and most of the people there were 26ish. The nurses totally did not keep confidentially and told my parents everything. It was pretty bad. 

2. Now actual psych wards:

- Rooms/bathrooms: this will be different depending on where you are. On my first psych ward you shared a room and there were communal showers and bathrooms. on my second one we each got our own beds with a personal bathroom, the doors for these bathrooms were held by a plastic thing so you couldn’t lock yourself in there but it was pretty nice. 

-Food: food was good at both places I was at. you could choose your own menu in the second place and it ranged from salads to pizza and burgers and stuff like that. All three meals were at the same time every day but if you didn’t want to eat it at that time they just placed your tray somewhere and you could eat whenever you wanted to. There was always crackers or milk or snacks on both places. 

-Belongings: Phones and every item of clothing with strings is taken away. sometimes if you come with a bag of clothes they even take that and its hard to get that clothes back, so its easier if fam/friends, bring you stuff afterwards. No strings or anything that you can use to harm yourself is allowed in the clothes and most places let you keep your shoes if you take out the laces. Most people just walk around in socks that they give you there though. They have phones there that you can use to call your friends, fam and people can call there too, usually patients answer and look for the person who is being called. 

-Coffee/ Smoking: prohibited in both that I went

- Sedating patients with meds is SO common. Only in the first place did I ever see them physically restraint a patient…but I swear psych wards give anti anxiety meds like candy its annoying

-Groups/activities: pretty boring and standard. In both that I went to, going to groups was completely voluntary but it was a plus to being allowed to leave the ward so I always went. Because the severity of mental illness between patients, most groups were taught in such a way that it felt like I was in elementary school. After a while I got used to it though. 

-Nurses: So in every day and shift you are assigned a nurse. They will give you your meds and if you have any concerns of questions you go to them. Some can be super nice and some are rude and annoying AF. I’ve had both. 

-Psychiatrists: OH MY GOD. LIKE IS ONE of the fucking requirements that all psychiatrists be assholes???? The first one I went to she told me I was borderline and doing everything for attention and didnt want to let me out. The second one in the second psych ward told me he wasn’t getting me on meds because i would “overdose on them” and the third one I saw in the same fucking psych ward on my second attempt WOULDNT let me leave without having a confirmed psychiatrist appointment even though it was impossible to get it to soon and I was way past my 72 hour hold and was not suicidal anymore. the nurses helped me lie in order to be allowed to leave. He prescribed me a med that is an anti depressant But also an appetite stimulant when I told him I was bulimic. the thing with bulimia though is you BINGE a fuck ton…so why would an appetite stimulant work???and he kept on asking me daily if i was eating??like wrong fucking eating disorder dude. He was 80 and could barely walk and was missing half his teeth and his appointments with me were no more than 5 minutes. I thought I was getting locked in there forever. 

So positives of psych ward: first couple of days tbh its super helpful. some groups do teach you knew things and being away from your daily stressors and having no choice is pretty relaxing. you can read or watch t.v all day knowing that you really have no choice but to just be in the moment. its a good place for thinking and being able to talk to others about what you are struggling about. I found friendships easily there. Although there are patients there who can make no sense (first psych ward this guy said i looked like his uncle and called me Tim the whole time I was there. He always always asked if I did cocaine for some reason. On the second psych ward, this patient always came into my room and cried in the corner asking me to hold her hand because she was scared and wanted confirmation that god loved her and forgiveness..it was sad at first but when the meds made me drowsy i just wanted her out of my room) there are also patients there that you immediately bond with. Like in both i had my friends who i sat with and had movie night at night time with and talked about dating and how crazy the doctors were and just how sucky depression was and things like that. 

Negatives: Leaving is ALWAYS an issue. Wether you are on a hold or voluntary it doesn’t matter. If you leave against medical advice, your insurance can choose not to cover your stay(in the U.S) so unless you have thousands of dollars, you have to stay until you are told you can leave…which the psychiatrists have absolute decision making in that process. I always stay longer than necessary and have to fight my way to be let out. It feels like a prison towards the end and its pretty scary. This girl where I was at had a different psychiatrist..shes only 18 and she was wanting to already give her electric shock therapy and discontinued her meds because she didnt want to. She diagnosed her all fuckd up and wrong and she was giving people lithium and thyroid medicine when they didnt need it. She always was keeping the girl in for over a month…which is crazy. Mine would have dragged my stay but the nurses lied for me and helped me out and in the first ward my parents argued. When you switch over from a 51/50(72 hour hold) and they ask you if you want to do voluntary, always say no and they’ll put you on a 52/50…which means 14 day hold but all of those need hearings and most psych wards release you right before the hearing because they know they’ll loose. Some wards actually are pretty bad and terrifying so please please always research before you go to one.

This totally might be different if you are there voluntarily though. I was always there because of self harm or because i overdosed and came in with a 51/50 so yeh. 

[sweetlifetownsville]

The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets.

Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.

Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this

This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.

The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.

The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object

So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke

Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.

See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..

Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.

About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.

Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/

[mikemortgage]

Tech could unite Europe’s populists ahead of EU vote in May

PARIS — The web platform was named for a revered French populist philosopher and created by an Italian internet entrepreneur to transform common grievances into proposals and activists into political candidates.

When Italy’s deputy prime minister offered the populist 5-Star Movement’s Rousseau platform to France’s yellow vest protesters, he took a step too far for French President Emmanuel Macron. The French leader recalled France’s ambassador to Italy for a week in the sharpest diplomatic dispute between the two allies since World War II.

The sharing of the Rousseau technology marks the most brazen attempt to date to internationalize Europe’s populist movements. It is a harbinger of the upcoming European Parliament elections in May, in which populist euroskeptics could win an unprecedented one-third of the seats, under current projections . This could well cause a collapse of the mainstream group, which up to now has held the largest voting bloc in Parliament.

However, the EU elections will also be a test of how far populist parties, which tend to be virulently nationalistic, can unite over borders and across the political spectrum. In Italy alone, the government’s two populist ruling parties, the 5-Star Movement and the League, compete at least as much as they co-operate.

“These parties are against Europe, but they are using Europe and the pan-European space to create a political debate,” said Alberto Alemanno, an Italian analyst.

At their most basic level, populists on both the right and the left pit the common people against the elite, the entrenched political class.

Technology has helped them advance . The 5-Star Movement used the Rousseau portal to let activists click their way to choosing candidates and policies, much as Spain’s upstart Podemos party used Reddit to energize online debate beginning five years ago and still uses online referendums. France’s populist yellow vest protesters have yet to come up with a common online space, with proliferating Facebook groups and YouTube channels that have a varied outpouring of demands.

If ideology and organization can trump geography, populist parties in Europe could form a bloc capable of weakening or even paralyzing the EU legislature, if projections released this week by the parliament hold.

“We must reject the financiers who see themselves as demigods. Reject the Brussels bureaucrats representing their interests and reject the fake civil society activists,” Hungarian President Viktor Orban said in his state of the nation address earlier this month.

On Friday, 5-Star leader Luigi Di Maio announced a new grouping of populist movements from across Europe, bringing together a far-right Polish party led by a former rock musician and a free-market Finnish party founded by a businessman-turned-reality TV star. Notably absent were nationalists, leaving open the question of how much sway the new alliance could have without expanding further.

Getting the far-left France Unbowed to vote in tandem with populist Orban’s Fidesz party seems a big hurdle. Italy’s government, split between the two populist groups, is largely an unhappy marriage of convenience, with the 5-Star Movement and the League diverging at least as much as they agree.

But among the yellow vests, known in French as the “gilets jaunes,” ultra-right and ultra-left have marched together in hopes of bringing down the government.

“Here is the beauty of it: They are both the left and the right. It is a populist thing,” political strategist Steve Bannon told France’s l’Express magazine in an interview published just after Macron recalled the ambassador.

Bannon has created a foundation in Brussels to strike at the heart of the European Union. Europe’s populists on the right — France’s Marine Le Pen, Hungary’s Orban, Italy’s Matteo Salvini — haven’t exactly embraced him, but nor have they pushed away the American who many credit with propelling Donald Trump into the White House. Bannon been largely ignored by the populist far-left.

The European Parliament elections are actually a four-day series of national elections held May 23-26 across Europe that decide the makeup of the legislature. Members make Europe-wide law, decide international agreements, and — crucially — can censure EU countries for violating core values such as an independent judiciary and upholding the rights of minorities and migrants.

But even if they can unite on the issues that brought them to power, the anti-EU populists may run into trouble with voters.

Across the board, trust in the European Union is higher than trust in national governments, according to the latest Eurobarometer poll taken in November 2018 — just as the yellow vest protests were taking root. The poll found 42 per cent of Europeans trusted the EU, compared with 35 per cent who trusted their own national governments or parliaments.

So even as Orban and Italy’s populists position themselves squarely against the pro-EU Macron, they are keenly aware that their own citizens have little desire to overthrow the EU, although they list immigration as their prime concern. And Macron himself is something of an upstart — he vanquished France’s two mainstream parties in the first round of France’s 2017 presidential election and Le Pen in the second. France’s two centrist mainstream parties, the Socialists and the Republicans, have since sunk in popularity. They held their seats in Brussels but are widely expected to further their political collapse in May’s EU vote.

However, voters may also use the European Parliament vote to protest. Under current projections, the extremes on the right and left are set to gain at the expense of the mainstream.

“Those voters who vote for the more radical parties just to express their frustration with Europe, they face a risk of voting for solutions that they wouldn’t normally agree to,” said Pawel Zerka, one of the authors of a study last week by the pro-EU European Council for Foreign Relations that said euroskeptics stand to gain the most in the EU vote.

Even some who are pro-EU think an alliance among euroskeptic populists is not necessarily bad for the parliament. For Alemanno, the Italian analyst based in Paris whose last name translates loosely as “the German,” it’s ironic proof that the European idea is strong and durable, as populists come together in a European union of their own.

“In a way, I look at the yellow vests from an Italian perspective. I see the 5-Star Movement 10 years ago,” he said.

The kind of interference that Macron found so intolerable from the 5-Stars will become more common and even welcome, he said. In the short term, he added, the EU parliament and by extension the EU itself may well be nearly ungovernable.

Le Pen has already shifted away from her longstanding position of abandoning the EU and the euro, the common currency that is used by 19 EU nations. She renamed the nationalist party founded by her father, and Bannon made a surprise appearance at a major rally last year. And, she says, her brand of populist nationalism is no longer the exception.

“We can legitimately envision today to change Europe from inside, to modify the very nature of the European Union,” Le Pen said, “because we consider ourselves powerful enough.”

——

This story corrects the date of Orban’s speech to earlier this month.

from Financial Post http://bit.ly/2T2mQus via IFTTT Blogger Mortgage Tumblr Mortgage Evernote Mortgage Wordpress Mortgage href="https://www.diigo.com/user/gelsi11">Diigo Mortgage

[trendingnewsb]

It Doesn’t Sound Like Senate Republicans Are Anywhere Close To A Deal On Obamacare Repeal

WASHINGTON It took the House months of infighting and a failed first attempt to ultimately pass a bill torepeal and replace the Affordable Care Act. More than two weeks later, Senate Republicans are nowhere near reaching an agreement on a bill of their own.

As scandal after scandal piled up for the Trump administration last week, Republicans were given some cover. Rather than being flooded with questions as they exited multiple meetings about their own disagreements on how to repeal and replace Obamacare, they were asked about the firing of FBI Director James Comey and the investigation into Russias meddling in the presidential campaign.

But even with some of the pressure off, they appear to have made only a little headway enough to identify the key issues dividing them but not to make much progress on resolving those differences.

A substantial number of Senate Republicans have made it clear they cannot vote for the House bill, which would reduce regulations on health insurance, rearrange tax credits for people buying health insurance and dramatically cut funding for Medicaid leaving many millions of Americans without health insurance while exposing older, sicker people to some combination of higher premiums and out-of-pocket costs.

The Medicaid cut is a big sticking point for senators from states such as Ohio and West Virginia that have expanded the program and have come to rely on it to finance treatment amid an opioid addiction epidemic.

Asked if she still had concerns about the health care talks, Sen. Shelley Moore Capito (R-W.Va.) said her problems havent changed from weeks ago when the House passed its bill.

Well, still the Medicaid expansion piece, and whether the tax credits are sufficient at the lower end, she said, referring to credits afforded to older Americans who face higher premiums under the House bill. Those are the two biggest.

Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) backed up Capitos complaints and added that the House billgoes too far in not protecting communities reeling from the opioid epidemic. Still, Portman wouldnt offer details on where talks are headed.

And scaling back the Medicaid cuts or bolstering tax credits for older consumers a priority for many GOP senators costs money. And the Republicans dont have a lot of money at their disposal.

Under the rules of the budget reconciliation process a procedural mechanism Republicans are using to avoid a Democratic filibuster the Senates bill cant increase the deficit. The only way to free up money would be to keep more of Obamacares taxes in place and doing that risks losing the support of more conservative members who, all things being equal, would rather the Senate bill look more like the House bill, not less.

The parliamentary math for GOP leaders is difficult. Even under reconciliation rules, which allow Republicans to pass legislation with just 50 votes assuming Vice President Mike Pence breaks the tie, leadership can afford to lose only two members. And there are plenty more than two members who seem convinced the Senate is far from agreeing on anything.

Asked to share what major sticking points are holding up the talks, Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) laughed and said: Where do I start?

Its totally fluid. Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) on the health care talks

Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) told HuffPost he isnt even sure where negotiations are headed.

Its totally fluid, he said, adding that he has no clue when the Senate would even be ready to bring a bill to the floor.

Im not ducking. I just cant answer it, Cassidy said. I dont know.

And the current disagreements among Republicans could only become worse once the Congressional Budget Office releases its projection on the effects of the House bill.

The CBO score, which is expected Wednesday, is very important, Cassidy said. He stressed that it will help inform policy decisions facing Republicans in the Senate, and he appeared hopeful that it would steer his colleagues away from the House bill.

Theres still some idea that we might use the House plan as a basis for which to proceed, he said.

Of course, the prospects for getting a repeal bill through the House looked bleak until it didnt. After House leaders pulled the bill in March because it didnt have the votes, senior members began negotiating quietly on their own until theyd worked out a deal capable of just barely getting enough votes to pass.

It looks as if Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is trying to do the same thing by having his caucus work out a deal behind closed doors and then bring it to the floor right when he is within striking distance of a majority. Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) is among the senators whoarent happy about the process. On Tuesday, that irritation came to a boiling point for him.

Its a very awkward process, at best, Corker said. There are no experts. Theres no actuarials. Typically, in a hearing, youd have people coming in, and youd also have the media opining about if a hearing took place and X came in and made comments.

Later Corker called the entire saga very difficult at best, adding that theres been a lot of progress in understanding the problems senators have with the House bill, and between each other, but theres no bill written.

But leadership hasnt indicated a desire to move negotiations out into the open, and its not so hard to imagine how, eventually, they could work out a deal that would get them close to the 50 votes they need while still keeping the guts of the House plan and its dramatic effects on insurance coverage.

Leaders might try to win over holdouts like Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), who has said she wants to protect her states Medicaid population, by offering extra money for Alaska much as Democrats in 2009 used special funding for Nebraska to bring along then-Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) in what became known as the Cornhusker Kickback. Maybe they could win over Capito and Portman with extra money for opioid treatment as a way to replace a little bit of the money their states would lose from Medicaid.

On the Medicaid expansion front, Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) offered some insight into where the talks are at, saying theres an interest among many Republicans to have a longer tail on [repeal] phase-out. Under the House bill, the extra federal funds for Medicaid expansion would phase out starting in 2020.Senate Republicans could push back that date or find some other way to make the transition more gradual, although, notably, the debate seems to be over when and not whether to end federal funding for the expansion.

Theres also the issue of pre-existing conditions and the tax credits, which are sticking points for Thune himself.

Weve had a lot of members whove made statements and are very committed to having a solution in place for pre-existing conditions. There are just a lot of ideas about how to do it, Thune said.

And the tax credits are a work in progress, Thune said. A big concern there, he said, is that the House bill unlike the Affordable Care Act doesnt tailor the tax credits to income, making it a lot harder for the poor and even some middle-class consumers to afford coverage.

A lot depends on whether external political events, like the upcoming special House elections in Georgia and Montana, change the political calculus of Republicans so many of whom seem convinced that the political cost of doing nothing is worse than the political cost of doing something that appears to be highly unpopular.

About the only sure thing seems to be that neither GOP leaders nor members want to be dealing with health care forever. They continue to say they would like a vote no later than the August recess, even though the possibility of reaching a deal by then seems highly uncertain.

As Thune put it, At some point we need to vote, and so that day of reckoning will come.

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[sweetlifetownsville]

The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets.

Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.

Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this

This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.

The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.

The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object

So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke

Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.

See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..

Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.

About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.

Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/