#so there it is; and frankly I doubt I'm gonna get a damn bit of support

[medicinemane]

Well, I'm getting to do therapy, ultra mega super fucking extreme edition for my mom today

She's having a fucking breakdown cause GOP cost cutting means medicaid is being a bitch and being like if you're on medicare you no longer qualify for medicaid unless you can work and then and only then will we let you do a buy in

It's bullshit, it sucks, it's a stupid and broken system and someone being on disability should count as any work, but she's having one of the most extreme fucking breakdowns of all time over it

Like we're talking going on about how it's all her fault that the cats died who were living in the trailer cause of how toxic she let that place become, or that she's an utterly selfish person... and I'm sat here having to find ways to spin shit because she puts me in a position where in order to get her functional... what? I say "yeah, pretty much"?

Then she's like "I apologize for anything I've ever done to you", not accepted and never will be. You're doing shit to me right this fucking second with this

There's no atonement and that's kind of tough shit, and maybe if you wanted atonement don't make me parent you right now

I'm having to talk her down from being suicidal, cause I'm fucking Machiavellian with shit and I need that disability check to keep coming in

She's crying and just having the biggest breakdown she's probably had since one of my worst memories which I'm actively working to suppress cause I can't deal with it right now. She's fucking going over the various ghost shit and apologizing for it, and it's like I don't fucking care, stop fucking trying to pure and make yourself the horror that made everything awful... you're pretending to take responsibility, but what you're really doing is demanding I absolve you of everything

You know, the shit she's saying and the shit I was saying yesterday aren't that different. We both think we're hugely worthless pieces of shit who are totally unlovable (and my grandma is probably to blame for both mindsets)

Difference is that for as much as I downplayed it and said it didn't even count as cleaning, I was fucking moving like 10 boxes around to try and get things in a state where I can figure out how to clean shit, where as she's a totally nonfunctional mess

Like as much as everyone seems to want to bitch about when I'm... literally just trying to share how not ok I'm doing as best I fucking can, even when I'm at my lowest I'm still trying to work on shit

...also, one thing that's different between her and me is I've never been emotionally incestuous with my kid to the point where the very concept of family makes them sick, made them be my parent, and am now forcing them to be my therapist despite the fact the emotionally engaging with them is one of the single most destructive things I can do

I don't know... I'm real shit today, I'm gonna have to be in the car for like 4 but really more like 6 hours with her cause of the way she drives, cause I've got to go see family today and it's gotta be today cause that's when my uncle's around

I'm basically... fucking animating myself, like I'm in that state where you're not letting yourself fall apart cause you gotta hold it together cause you don't have a choice (oh, and I haven't fucking slept cause right when I was gonna go to bed I got summoned to come play therapist)

I'm shit right now, and I was already in a bad way... and in fact I'm doing so badly that I can't even maintain my normal fucking facades and politeness... nope, turns out that's not true and in fact my facades run deeper than I do and I 100% am still not gonna say certain things

But yeah, it's a shit day, one of the worst in a while cause it's probably the worst my mom's been in like... two decades... so that's fucking great huh?

Bonus, this bullshit with medicaid has cut her therapy sessions

If anyone gets to be pissed at them it's me, and I fucking am pissed, they can go fuck themselves, and everyone who votes to cute medicaid can know that I personally dislike them immensely

Unlike my mom though I'm not a literal fucking 12 year old (not even kidding, her problem is she's emotionally still like 12 or 14, she's literally fucking stunted there). Unlike her... I fucking function even when I'm doing bad

But serious, I was awful yesterday, just absolutely one of my low points. Only reason maybe I seem better today is basically the emotional equivalent of adrenaline

I'd be falling apart right now except for the part where I never actually fall apart or have breakdowns

[lunar-years]

https://x.com/JRRnotTolkien/status/1827492547960434945?t=oFRRrF9CB-V8MfBWZZEyQg&s=08 not sure if you saw this but this is maybe more positive - like, a casting director wanted him to come in for something but learned from Phil's people that he may have this commitment. Of course, this means that if the article detail is correct, that's the Ted Lasso people actively being like "we aren't gonna bother with Jamie, sorry Phil" like them choosing not to renew, or seeing the authentic best path for Jamie as a star footballer would be sold to a bigger and more aspirational team. I get that this happens to players but I don't like the idea that it would be canon to do that in Roy's first season. Surely he would want to stay with Roy as manager and play in the Champions League under him. It would feel OOC for him to leave.

original tweet from two days ago:

today's amendment:

Especially considering the amendment tweet here I can't say this changes much for me one way or another. There's for sure a lot of contrasting information out there at the moment and it's really impossible for any of us to know for sure what's happening. At the moment I am trying to remain a bit hopeful that I'll be nicely surprised whilst also preparing to be letdown. Based on everything I've seen, the number of times these supposed scheduling conflicts have been mentioned by different sources makes me lean towards thinking (very unfortunately) that they are in fact real and Phil isn't going to be coming back as a regular, but could (and I would assume will) guest star. i really really REALLY hope i'm wrong (or that "guest star" in this capacity means he's just gonna be in 11 out of 12 episodes 🤪). Quite frankly if Phil couldn't make the proposed TL filming schedule work due to prior commitments, TL should've just changed the filming schedule. Like...damn! Literally just push it back a few months we've already waited this long. I think losing him as a regular is a massive mistake.

As for your second point, I very strongly doubt that the Ted Lasso people didn't want to option Phil to return tbh. Everything we've seen so far indicates the issues came from Phil's side. Besides that, I really don't think this show cares about realism anywhere near enough to write off a beloved main character just because that's what might happen if Jamie were a real footballer 😭 Jamie was arguably the most well-received character and arc of s3 for the show and they for sure would capitalize on that if they could (and writing him off is going to be really weird and undoubtedly effect the plans for other characters' s4 arcs as well, he was very intertwined with Roy's plot in particular in s3, plus they were still going with the ot3 love triangle thing, plus they introduced the recovery arc with his dad. I think they will probably have to scrap part of their s4 vision to work around losing him and that Sucks!

[clatterbane]

My first real appointment through orthopedics to finally try and get set up with an aftermarket leg is coming up on Monday.

The previous referral last year just didn't work out, for multiple reasons, and I was a bit bummed over that. I think part of the problem was it falling through the cracks because nobody really seems to be sure what to do with somebody showing up from completely outside their system already minus a leg.

But, we thought to ask that new endo for a fresh referral. So, I did get an intake appointment set up through ortho, with no schedule collisions this time.

In one way, I'm excited to hopefully get moving toward with the process of getting set up with a prosthetic. I would really like to be able to get around better again! And, you know, be able to take my sorry ass off paved surfaces and up steps and stuff again!

OTOH, due to the person I am? I am trying not to borrow too much trouble and drive myself crazy worrying in the meantime. Especially the closer that draws.

Frankly, not least that somebody is gonna just say, "Oops, it's been so long and this entire situation does not fit into any familiar procedures. We just can't/won't help you!”

Yeah, I know there is going to be an awful lot of PT ahead, likely before I even get to the point of any fitting. I have some other concerns about that, after some sufficiently unpleasant experiences as a troublesome-bendy individual, with rehab-focused PT after injuries/knee surgeries (directly coming from the probably-EDS) in the past. My knees are also pretty damned terrible, and also kinda further destabilized by said surgical tinkering.

But, I am much older and more confident now--and not nearly as eager to take any "no pain, no gain!" bullshit seriously. Much less push in ill-advised ways until I do my bendy self an injury.

But yeah, even right now? I would place good money if I had it on the likelihood that I am currently in better shape than 75% of the new patients they see much sooner than this after surgery. Who are statistically much older and otherwise in pretty damned bad health. Probably I've been staying more physically active over the past few years than a lot of that demographic have been able to, even under the current circumstances

Mean age at the time of the first registered amputation in our sample was 74 years (SD 14); women were older (78, SD 14, CI 77–79) than men (72, SD 14, CI 72–73). 43% of the patients were 80 years or older by the time of the primary amputation (Figure 3). The mortality rate of the registered patients was 19% within 6 months and 24% within the 1st year after the last registered amputation. The 1-year mortality rate after TFA was 40%, after KD 38%, and after TTA 24%.

("Lucky" transtibial/TTA here. Those figures are from the Swedish national database, BTW. Because there is one. You see dire mortality rates after this sort of surgery come up? That's a lot of why. Those demographics and the occasional nasty accident requiring amputation seriously skew things.)

There were reasons they kept going on about how young and healthy my middle-aged ass that had just barely cheated death was when I was stuck in the hospital in Romford. And therefore considered a candidate for prosthetics at all under that system. Not going off on that rant right now.

Still, the majority of those elderly patients in otherwise not great shape DO get successfully set up on replacement legs here. Which is encouraging, that they are likely not looking hard for excuses to avoid spending the money. (We're talking the equivalent of a new not-cheap car, back in the US. Region Skåne is still set to lay out a fair chunk of change here. We are thankfully not directly.)

I do rationally doubt that I would get turned away just because I have been off that leg for several years now, and my knees were terrible even before that. And I fucking suck at trying to use forearm crutches, which I am not at all used to and have a very different feel than the type I do have too much experience on.

But yeah, my brain just won't leave things alone as usual. That's just one of the crappiest possibilities it's seized onto right now.

[thousand-winters]

Hi! Owl House Hunter and/or Collector for the ask game?

Hello there!!! How's it going?

Starting with Hunter 💛

How I feel about this character

I adore him to pieces. I'm adopting him. I'm marrying Darius just so I can raise him with him and Eberwolf.

In all seriousness, I think he's such an amazing character. I know a lot of people out there (well, frankly only the weird guys who projected too hard on him and thought he was some cold badass soldier for some reason?) think his turn to be one of the "good guys" was too sudden or that he became useless once he turned sides but none of that is true, they just didn't pay attention to his character, to how he always went more for the defense or to quickly unarm an opponent rather than hurt them, to how he was kind despite it all, how eager he was to help. And also how damn exhausted and scared he had to be at Labyrinth Runners, obviously he wasn't going to be able to fight at his full potential, though I guess it's an useless point since those people only care for Hunter as far as how "badass" he is, not for his actual character.

Don't even get me started on how damn good and real he is written when it comes to a child that grew up controlled and abused. I feel like that's where a lot of the misunderstanding about his character comes from, that a lot of people who don't understand one bit about the trauma responses to abuse feel qualified to say that he doesn't make sense when he really does.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one, really. I used to like him with Willow but... well, that didn't last. This isn't about me being a hater tho lmao, so we're not going to get into that, it's just not my thing.

I don't care about any ship of his at the end of the day.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Mmmm... I'm gonna say Amity. They truly had so much potential as friends with their similarities, they always will be best friends in my heart. It's such a shame we didn't see them develop that friendship we saw in glimpses in TTT but that was once again due to the lack of time.

You will always see me sprinkle moments for both of them in my fics, I'm a little deranged over how much they understood each other in Eclipse Lake, for better or for worse.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He doesn't need to be involved in everything, oh my gods, give it a rest. I love him so much but no, he doesn't need to be Luz' legal brother or King's brother too or Vee's brother, or have like twenty different parents because "the more, the better".

Yes, yes, it takes a village, but tell me why the village has to all adopt him. I think there's a point to be made there with the fact Hunter needs freedom and "disorder" in some sense since he didn't have the opportunity to just be a kid and be a little messy while he was at the EC, but not like that. He still needs a semblance of stability because he was clearly craving parental love for the longest time but he's used to a guardian that made him second guess and it's going to be hard for him to adjust to one parent, let alone like ten and while he's jumping from house to house literally every day or every couple of days. That feels like it would be a nightmare for him with trying to guess expectations and at the same time that he has to learn boundaries? Hell no, that's gonna explode into flames.

I have no doubt all of those adults will be looking out for him, but they don't need to be their parents for that. After all, say, one can imagine the Parks are going to dote on him since he's dating their daughter, isn't he? And yet they don't need to be his dads for that. Lilith cares for Luz and King but she's not their mother, she's the cool aunt™️.

It takes a village but the village doesn't have to be a nuclear family. We can have more interesting, complex relationships than that. Plus, the village doesn't seem to exist for the other kids who also need support, funnily enough.

"Darius isn't going to be enough", well, he has Eberwolf to help, so there's that. "He needs a mother", oh, we're doing super nuclear family now? Funny how he doesn't need a father when it's the other way around, and funny how the same isn't said for Gus or Amity (nor it should but you get my point). "He needs more support because he's traumatized", oh, and the other kids aren't? There's Amity who's also recovering from an abusive parental situation and has Alador, who's trying but that's the thing, he's trying, he isn't perfect, and yet nobody says anything there.

Personally, I like the idea of Lilith and Hunter bonding over their similar experiences close to Belos but I don't want her as his mother. I don't think Lilith wants to be anybody's mother anyway.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I know this was also about the time we had, but I wish him getting powers from Flap absorving into him hadn't been done like that. I disliked it a lot at the beginning and while I don't mind it as much now, I feel like with how fast everything had to go because of the shortening, it came across a bit like "Hunter mourns the loss of Flapjack, but the second he gains powers from it, he's happy again".

Obviously we still had him looking a bit sad at all the other palismen and then the fragment during Luz's nightmare but... it just didn't look great. I wish we'd had more time to address that + maybe his complicated feelings over Belos because he kinda spent TTT ignoring all of that and then Flap died and everything went too fast and he didn't have time to process, you know?

Now the Collector! 🌠

How I feel about this character

I like them! I admit I didn't at first because I found them questionable and then inconsistent but they grew on me. That's a baby!!! I feel bad for having disliked him at some point lmao.

I think they're a very fun character, and there's a lot to explore with the implications of a practically immortal being with such intense powers... we're not going there though because it hurts to think about him all alone after everybody else dies. Who knows how long beings like them live.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one, I don't think. I mean, he's baby.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

King, definitely!!! Their dynamic was so complicated at first, which honestly makes it all the more fun. Fascinating too since the Archivists and the Titans seemed to be at odds and plus seem to be straight up dangerous to one another, but they're the youngest out of their respective... species? And neither wants control or anything, they just want to be friends.

I think they're very sweet, and the chances they'll have each other for a good amount of their lives is very good as well, especially with those huge lifespans both of them seem to have.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I used to be so conflicted on him and how he was in their introduction in Hollow Mind versus the after but I think it can make sense. They hardly had any reference for the world and how things worked outside of Belos and WAD pretty much confirmed he thought people could be repaired just like toys so like... alright. Being around a genocidal emperor sure didn't do him any favors here.

That was my only thing, but aside from that I don't think I have unpopular opinions about them, though granted since I don't think too much about them on a regular basis, I might just not know what the common takes about them are out there.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

There's no real need for this but I wish we had gotten some closure to the Archivists situation because they make me so nervous haha. Like if they target the planet again, everyone is fucking toast, one titan and the Collector aren't going to be enough to stop that, not even with everybody else. We got a very powerful cast of characters but not cosmically powerful, you know?

I also kinda wish the Collector had been established to, yeah, maybe explore for long periods of time, but also come back to the Isles fairly often. That's a child!!! He craves company and love!!! Don't let him wander out there on his own for so long! I think since they were there for Luz's quinceañera, he might actually come around fairly often to be up to date with all that, so it might just me worrying too much tho.

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game

[lexa-griffins]

Accidental stimulation trope between Alpha Clarke and Omega Lexa

Maybe Clarke goes to the doctor for her physical where Lexa is her nurse/doctor. During her checkup, Lexa brushes against Clarke's crotch and gives her a boner underneath her hospital gown. They're both embarrassed so Lexa offers to help Clarke get rid of it

👀

Clarke has kind of been putting out going to the doctor for her physical for... months now. Its not that Clarke dislikes doctors but frankly having lived with one most of her life, she just doesnt have the patience. However she finally decided to drag her ass to the doctor and get it done.

And then immediately want to leave when her usual doctor isnt in and some doctor Woods is the one to see her.

Clarke's doctor is this older beta who always looks unimpressed with just about anything, constantly reminding Clarke that nothing looks bad but that it could look much better if she had a healthier lifestyle. Its nice, predictable. Always the same old.

As she sits on the medical table playing with her thumbs she hears the door opened and she didnt really expect a hot, 30 something omega to be the one to greet her. She doesnt smile particularly but she isnt rude either, which is already a nice change of pace.

Clarke admits she has to hold her breath anytime she touches her somewhere during the exam. Which does seem to cause some confusion for the doctor who asks her if she caused her any pain and seems to doubt Clarke when she answers no.

Its when Clarke is laying on her back and the doctor is pressing on her stomach that disaster strikes. Clarke's been doing great at not staring at the small hint of cleavege dr woods open coat shows through her shirt, or the way said coat clings to her ass when she bends over to pick anything. Or just how nice and pillowy her lips look and or she wonders how they must look like around-

Oh. Something... something brushed her. In her little alpha special place.

"Oh, sorry."

"Its fine."

It isnt. And she knows the omega knows it isnt. Because horny smells like horny and if the doctor didnt catch the scent, the obvious tent is Clarke's jeans is more than a dead give away.

"Oh." Its all the doctor says when she catches the very obvious boner.

"Oh my god, im so sorry." Clarke wonders is she can just grab her shit and run away. Well, she isnt sure she can run right now. Maybe waddle away?

"Does this happen often with you? Getting erect this fast?"

Jesus fuck "I mean, I guess. Its pretty sensitive most of the time."

The doctor looks very pretty when she's thinking this hard. Christ Griffin.

"May I?" The dr Woods hand go for her zipper and Clarke wonders is this is actually happening.

"Hm. Sure?" Real stellar confident alpha energy there.

Her bone pops out of her pants, standing full mast proudly. Fine day to go commando.

"Do you have hard time making it go soft afterwards?"

"Sometimes. I usually need to... go at it for a bit."

The doctor nods, staring at her dick, "Given your size I'd say is expected, rather impressive."

Weirst mental high five of Clarke's life really. Thats all Clarke expected. The doctor turns away, leaving Clarke on the bed with dick fully out and the alpha is trying to gain the courage to ask if she can put it away. That is until the doctor turns around. Her coat has been discarded on the chair, and her hair is being pulled up in a ponytail. Her blue gloves are also gone.

"It would be of very bad hospitality of me to let you go outside with a boner I provoked in the first place. So I'm just gonna ask to relax and take a deep breath for me, could you do that, Clarke?" The doctor explains and she sits on the small rolling bech right by Clarke's crotch on the bed.

What the fuck is she supposed to do? Say no to the hot doctor who wants to turn her dreaded physical into a damn porno?

"Go ahead?"

Clarke has had some wild ass fantasies. But watching her very very hot doctor grab her dick and lick the tip of her head was definitely not one she thought would come true. And really, all Clarke can do is watch and fucking /feel/.

Because oh is this woman good with her fucking mouth.

"Ah, dr-"

"Lexa."

"Hm?"

"Lexa, my name's Lexa. Might as well have you know my real name." Lexa says with a smirk and Clarke nods. Smoothly, the doctor drops her head again, this time wrapping her lips entirely around Clarke's head.

Damn, what an omega.

Clarke is sure she'll wake up at any time now. But she doesn't. And the doctor keeps on taking more andore of her dick inside of her mouth, up until the point she clearly cant anymore, and her hand comes to stroke the few inches she is unable to keep inside.

She is a fucking professional, Clarke will give her that. Clarke cant recall ever being this ready to cum in so little time.

"Fuck, Lexa, I'm gonna... ah"

Lexa brings her head up, continuing to stroke the base of Clarke's dick, "Go ahead. Id rather you do it in my mouth so its a easier clean up."

Clarke truly wants to say something that makes her sound hot and confident. Instead all she does is nod and moan as Lexa's mouth wraps around her again.

She feels the soft tonguenof the doctor lick her head once more and Clarke cant hold it anymore.

The sight of the woman swallowing her cum without any trouble could make her cum again. And yet, she doesnt feel fully satisfied.

"Is it normal for your knot to form when you arent in rut?"

Oh yeah. That makes sense, "I think I am in rut."

Lexa chuckles and for the first time aince she got here Clarke sees her smile. In her post nut alpha brain. She swear she looks like an angel.

"You are... quite impressive." Coat back on, Lexa sits in her chair typing something on her computer as Clarke sits awkwardly on the chair, dick safe and soft back in her pants, "Very girthy for an alpha your age and height." Theres a pause as if the doctor is trying to collect herself, "you are also very healthy, I no real pointers for you. You may need to drink a little more water. You talked a obout feeling a little cooped up even when you go outside so joining a gym might do you somd good, some alphas tend to find it helps them manage adrenaline. Other than that,"

Clarke watches her scribble something on a small piece of paper and sign a few papers for Clarke's suppressants.

"You're good to go. Your regular doctor should be back in next time you come here. I do hope to see you again tho."

Clarke isnt really sure what to say. Thank you for sucking me off, it was great meeting you?, "yeah you too. And thank you. For... you know..."

Lexa bites her lip, "my pleasure."

Clarke is already in her car when she looks down at the small card Lexa gave her.

Dr Woods. Primary Care.

Underneath theres a number that Clarke assumes to be her professional one scratched out. Next to it, with a hand writting far too pretty for a doctor, is a newer number with a heart beside her.

Guess Lexa isnt expecting to see her again as a patient.

[invisiblegarters]

OF thoughts

Full disclosure, I didn't love the last episode aside from Boston and Nick.

But this episode? Oh this episode delivered. I loved it so much.

The one thing I do wish is that they'd stop so closely paralleling Boston and Nick with Ray and Sand. I want to feel like they are separate and distinct but frankly it's the same thing, just different ways of going about it. Feels like they're on the same trajectory and will implode in much the same way (except Sand doesn't have a fun sex tape to get ultimate revenge when his heart is pulverized, All he has is himself, and well. We've seen what himself is like he's so fucked). Plus I highly doubt they nixed Ray just keeping Sand as a choice and Sand having a real problem with it from the mock trailer and the synopsis. So as nice as it would be to think that Ray is finally getting it through his skull that Mew is unavailable to him even if he isn't dating Top...I don't buy it.

Is it wrong of me that I want Sand's ex to show up real time and wreak havoc? Because maybe, just maybe, Sand's feelings about them aren't as resolved as he'd like them to be...

With my luck it'll be all about Top though lololol. I do assume the scene First spoke about was a flashback scene but I'd still like them to show up real time, even if they are just gonna be yet another person after Top.

Also it better be Mix. You owe me this, show. Except well then First can't move up in the kiss bracket rankings...damn.

Granted it could also be a girl and then no one will move up.

Nick trying to get Top away from Boston is just...does he not know that it's Boston slavering over Top's dick or does he just know Boston's a lost cause? Bit of both? And other people have already said it, but the way that Sand didn't even flinch when Nick confessed he'd bugged Ton's car...I died a little. Sand you seem like you have it together but I see you.

And MEW. MEW. How is it that I like him the best I ever have this episode? Finally we're getting something from him and it's not what I thought or maybe what I wanted exactly, but it's lovely all the same. Episode MVP for sure. And I'm surprised to be saying that because I mostly save that award for those who cause mess, but he was just so good. I think I love him. :D

I will be doing character rankings at some point but I just wanted to get some thoughts out before I rewatch and let things marinate a little more and get my thoughts more in order.

[remyfire]

Bj/Sidney

Do I Ship It? ALL RIGHT, back in it again after a breakfast break, please forgive me for the delay!!

Yes, I Ship It!!

What made you ship it? —Truly I cannot articulate properly how potent they are to me, but I'm gonna damn well try. I talked a little bit in my Sidney/BJ/Hawk ask about how interesting it is to me that Sidney and BJ very rarely have a moment alone on screen together, and how it got my brain buzzing about if BJ is in fact actively choosing to avoid Sidney. I love to play on that with them, BJ who has so much buried under the surface, Sidney who has almost a sixth sense for where to apply pressure to receive a response. I write them both as needing to be in control every second of every day, which compelled me also—one of them has to give in a little for them to get anywhere at all, and that takes a lot of negotiation, a lot of growing trust. And then frankly I was compelled by the idea of giving BJ daddy issues. I'm so so sorry, BJ, but you are ripe for it. Specifically I wanted to play on the concept of BJ having a buried distrust toward men in Sidney's age range because that was around the age his father was when BJ received the majority of his neglect and emotional abuse, the age he was right when BJ cut his parents off and never went back. There's distrust but there's also a desperation for approval, for praise. The moment I made that connection, I was fucking gone for them.

What are your favorite things about the ship? —I love how BJ brings out the more playful energy of Sidney in Dear Sigmund. I love how even when BJ missteps and violates Sidney's trust, Sidney already has such a deep fondness for him that he doesn't come down nearly as harshly as he could. I love the idea of Sidney catching sight of how often BJ ends up in Hawkeye's shadow as this baby surgeon barely out of residency put up beside this revered god of life, and Sidney getting to nourish that part of BJ before Beej ever starts getting buried in his flashes of self-doubt that drive him to do incredibly unwise things. I love BJ getting the opportunity to be unabashedly angry in a setting with a person who can absorb it and bring him to a sense of closure. I love how protective we see BJ get over Sidney from time to time. I love the webs of secrets that both BJ and Sidney have getting to unravel a little at a time with each other when they don't trust anyone else to look at them the same way as it all starts coming out. And frankly I love them getting to lean on each other during the absolute mess of a man they both care very, very much for beginning to deteriorate. I need these two cuddled up tight, stat.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? —I'm trying to think if there's anything particularly unpopular about them that I have when they're a ship barely anybody else sails haha. Many of the things I change are more character-specific—I write Sidney as a gay man who does not actually have a child, for example—and I'm not sure if any of those things count as unpopular.

[whysojiminimnida]

++ I don’t doubt Jimin’s account but given his polyvalent talent (even from vids pre-debut), the “JM struggling with dance” never made sense to me. Do you have thoughts on how much of this “having to work harder” is a result of objective difficulty, and the echo of that early experience of not being good enough, in addition to his own perfectionism and humility?

(Pt 2/2 scroll for first half) Hiya @onthecuterside! Okay okay let's get this bread.

Jimin is a dancer's dancer. So when he says he struggled, yes. He did. But it does not look like struggle to the rest of us because to us he looks SO GOOD, right? We've all seen the early vids. The kid was prodigious early. He was a perfectionist and a very intelligent, very high achiever from childhood. This is not in question. We been knew. But we are not seeing what he sees when he looks in the dance mirror. Your ideas about perfectionism and humility are spot on - in-trained but also inborn, to an extent. Dancers, true dancers, are never, ever satisfied with their work. EVER. Like it's not mentally healthy to be honest. There is a big difference between hip-hop style street dancing and ballet-based contemporary dance. I'm a ballet technician. I also taught street dance and hip hop on the side. He is a contemporary technician, so lots of ballet but less than mine - and a heavy hitter in hip-hop, which uses totally different muscles and body weight distribution. The styles can complement each other but are not in any way the same. It can be brutal to take your trained body from pulling every muscle upwards (ballet) to dropping into your hip joints and knees (hip-hop). Injuries happen all the time in cross-training. Isolations are trained - you cannot isolate a muscle on a beat without doing it until it does it by itself. And when your body's muscle memory is "we pull in we tighten there is an invisible string pulling us to the ceiling", it is not easy to go to "get down drop the string clench don't pull up lower lower yes your weight does in fact go straight into your hip joints". Especially when your hips turn out so naturally that you already walk like a damn duck.

Just getting your knees to face the same direction takes actual work and conscious thought. Someone like Koo with no ballet training has a much, much easier time picking up hip-hop even though your ballet dancer Jimin is gonna make it look flawless and effortless every time. I am making no sense to anyone not a dancer here probably and I apologize. It's difficult to articulate, actually. So here, have a 3J dance break and see how they all get down in those hips:

And here we have some first-style muscle memory Jimin, who is pulled upwards in his core even when he is working on the floor:

The only critique I can even find on his contemporary is that his metatarsals don't arch naturally when he points his feet and that is strictly a guys-don't-train-their-arches thing. (They don't. Men with great ballet feet are very unusual). Frankly the man needs his feet for stability so he gets a full pass on that. Look at his turnout - from the hips. Beautiful. His elevation is gorgeous. He flies, this guy. And sometimes when we fly naturally, or even because we've worked so hard to learn, it's even harder to learn to stay on the ground. I hope that made even a little bit of sense. Because the narrative about his contemporary training is actually accurate, but it isn't the only thing. His hip-hop was great, he moved like water, but technically his hip-hop was flawed due to his body's resistance to relaxing into the necessary flow. It's hard to snap to the beat with a muscle that's pulled upwards against the tide of the move. See? I'm speaking gibberish over here. I tried okay ;) Let's talk about it more though. I feel like we don't talk about Dancer Jimin and how that affects his life, his personality, his very core as a human enough.

[n7viper]

🎶 + Mihren, Mihri & Rylen, Lia & Garrus AND Lia & Tarquin oOoOOo I know you have multiple songs for everyone so I am choosing all of them

Send me a 🎶 + an OTP of mine and I’ll give you a song that reminds me of them.

Ohohoho so I actually didn't have any Mihri/Rylen ones (so why did I put their names there??), and I didn't have any for Lia and Tarquin either. But I have done some extensive research and have come up with some. I've got lyrics with these, so I've put everything under the cut to save everyone's dashes.

Mihren (Mihri & Cullen):

I mentioned this song the other day in another ask (not as an actual answer), but I'm gonna go ahead and use it anyway. As a note, I think the perspectives could change a bit for this song to fit them. Mihri wants to absolutely destroy him, not necessarily the other way around.

It's only just a crush, it'll go away It's just like all the others, it'll go away Or maybe this is danger, and he just don't know You pray it all away, but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight Lie still, close your eyes, girl, so lovely, it feels so right I want to hold you close, soft breath, beating heart As I whisper in your ear, "I want to fucking tear you apart"

Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do? Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school But their lips met, and reservations started to pass Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way, he wanted her, and this was bad Wanted to do things to her, it was making him crazy Now a little crush turned into a like And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

Mihri & Rylen

Not much to say about this one. She has, frankly, bewitched him. One of my favourite horny songs.

Her lipstick stains like acid rain Dissolving away my sense of restraint … Concealing the violence, I've been stung by the wasp So come to me No sense of restraint So come for me

Come with me and disappear without a trace Criminal, in how I crave the way she tastes I'm the rapture in her head when she attempts to sleep It's haunting, she kills me

No time or place to take it slow And my head aches but I refuse to go Her face as soft as snow She looks so lost but she feels like home

I will wait endlessly I will break you carefully So take me harmfully You fit so perfectly I will wait

Lia & Garrus

We've waited so damn long, we're sick and tired I won't leave any doubt or stone unturned I've got a collar full of chemistry from your company So maybe tonight, I'll be the libertine

Oh, show me your love, your love Give me more but it's not enough Show me your love, your love Before the world catches up 'Cause there's always time for second guesses I don't want to know If you're gonna be the death of me That's how I want to go

You've got it all worked out with so little time Memories that I'd black out if you were mine You've got a pocket full of reasons why you're here tonight So, baby, tonight just be the death of me

Lia & Tarquin

I have seen this used as an actual love song before, but I get missed opportunity/pining vibes from this. Lia and Tarquin are the FWB that catch feelings, but unfortunately they're both just too stupid to ever realize that they're both in love. And guess what? It doesn't matter because I don't do a Tarquin Lives AU :) Missed opportunities ahoy!

I'm a ghost in your eyes A shadow you can't seem to recognize I have a thought of you for every star in the sky But I'm scared, I'll never cross your mind Yeah, I'm scared

Will our stars ever align? Will two hearts beat in time? These words you should always remember To you, my heart I surrender Chasing love that can never be mine Maybe one day you'll realize These words you should always remember To you, my heart I surrender My heart I surrender

And I can't count the times I stayed awake pretending you were mine Now I'm left here with this emptiness inside Why can't I make you mine?

[yamithediaperdork]

Being a role model SUCKS (Inuyasha)

Spending time in the future was usually fun and a break from the stress that the feudal era gave out but the bucketful. Usually but not this visit. Inuyasha should of known something was up when Kagome A) kept talking about how upset and babyish Souta felt needing bedtime diapers as of late (and some day time pull ups, there had been little leaks) but also B) was giving Inuyasha all the instant ramen noodles he could handle and more.

Sadly, nothing quite clicked till they had arrived and then he'd been cornered not only by Kagome, but her mother as well while Souta was playing out behind the house.. and from there everything had gone downhill.

After a long talk (Well the women had talked, Inuyasha had argued but they seemed to ignore any points he made) Inuyasha found himself making a deal that he would give Souta the confidence boost he needed by having someone bigger then him be more BABYISH then him.. and in return Inuyasha got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it next time he visited.

"And let me tell you right here and now, My list of demands are gonna be HUGE!" Inuyasha growled.

Kagome however just smiled and patted his head like he was already just a huffy baby and had lead him off to get dressed for the part.

Souta huffed as he kicked the soccer ball at the goal post, catching it and kicking it back over and over. It just wasn't fair that his bladder was betraying him like this when he was -9- years old! without a doubt in his mind, he was the biggest diaper baby in the whole town, heck maybe even the whole freaking country!

That thought was interrupted as he heard a LOUD crinkling noise and turned to see what it was.. and his ball hit his shin as his jaw almost hit the ground.

Waddling out behind behind Kagome dressed in a red onesie that did NOTHING to hide the thick, massive diaper(s) he was wearing and a pair of sandal's was Inuyasha!

The Half demon was beet red and seemed to be tugging on Kagome's arm, making it clear he'd rather go back inside even as he looked this way and that until, heh, she stopped and gave him a swat on his padded backside and shook a finger at him, talking clearly.

"No Inuyasha, you've been hiding inside for 2 weeks now, you need some fresh air and that's why we're in the future." She scolded.

"But..but.." Inuyasha whined.

"It's ok Inuyasha, I'm sure Souta won't tease you just because you can't control yourself right now." Kagome said in a motherly tone, then turned back to Souta. "Isn't that right Little guy?"

"heh..hehehehe yeah no, I won't at all Little yasha!" Souta said, a big silly grin breaking out on his face now."What even happened though?" he asked, coming over to the pair.

Kagome let go of Inuyasha's hand though gave him a look and the huffing diapered half demon plopped his butt onto the soft dirt of the back yard.

"Oh, we got attacked by a crazy priest who figured the only way to redeem demons was to teach them humility." Kagome started, a well practiced lie. "Basically Poor little Inuyasha, heh, or yasha as you called him..I like that! Anyways, he lost a lot of power and well control of his tinkles and uh-oh's for 3 weeks.Not to mention he's become a lot more..childish as you might of noticed." As Kagome said that with her back to the half demon Inuyasha stuck his tongue out at her and Souta covered his mouth to keep from giggling. Kagome turned to see what was so funny but Inuyasha had stopped JUST in time and was looking away, trying and failing to whistle. "...Anyways..I've been trying to deal with it in the past but frankly he's been stinking up his cabin and I'm sick of washing his diapers. figured why not let him spend the last week of it here and enjoy the freedom to play outside AND the wonders of disposable diapers." she finished.

"oh well, shucks , Little yasha could of came here sooner! I would of helped look after him!" Souta said, swelling with big boy pride since heck he was just in a nice and slim pull-up AND he didn't stink up his diapers! "If you wanna take a little break I'll even watch him for you right now." Souta added.

"Will you? that'd be great!" Kagome gushed and ruffled his hair. "Oh, one thing, with Inuyasha starting to get his control back, you'll have to keep asking him every so often if he need to potty or needs a diaper change. about once a hour. I'd worry more on the diaper change though myself."

the fact that Souta was suppose to be doing a potty check himself once a hour flew right over his head and the little 9 year old nodded and gave a thumbs up.

"Don't worry sis, I got this!"

Inuyasha was mentally adding heaps on his list of demands as his new nick name caught on and Kagome went out of her way to make him seem even more helpless.

with his 'darling' girlfriend retreating inside, Souta came over to him and smiled, then bent down and sniffed, confusing Inuyasha for a second.

"Hmm, you SMELL clean for the moment at least." Souta said and then patted Inuyasha's head. "Good boy!"

If he made it thought the week without having to kill someone Inuyasha wanted all the good damn treats.. but knowing the role he was SUPPOSE to play he gave a silly grin (And the heat pats kinda sorta maybe felt nice too.)

"Well little yasha, what do you wanna do? I was playing some soccer but if your muscle control and stuff is all messed up I don't think that's a good idea. sides you likely can't move too fast in your diapies." Souta said.

'So nice but still being a jerk..it must run in the fucking family.' Inuyasha thought then put a thoughtful look on his face. "Ummm we could play hide n seek!" Inuyasha offered up, putting a doopy childish twinge to his voice.

"ok, You hide and I'll seek. I'll give you to the count of 20." Souta said and went to cover his eyes when Inuyasha tugged at his shorts. "Hmm? what's wrong?"

"How many is 20?" Inuyasha asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, not having to force a blush as the pure humiliation of this all was taking care of it for him.

A big grin broke out on Souta's face and he bent down and took Inuyasha's hands in his.

"20 is this many.. and then" and Souta let go of Inuyasha's hands and tapped a finger on the exposed toes since Inuyasha had gone sockless in the sandals. "and this many. Can you keep track of that?"

"Ummm I think so!" Inuyasha said and nodded his head, having to admit that was all sorts of cute.

"Ok then, when I hit 20 you'll hear me say, ready or not, here I come anyways in case you lose count." Souta said and with a last head pat, he stood up and closed his eyes, starting to count.

Of course Inuyasha could of scaled a tree or taken to the roof top even with the bulky diapers he had on, he decided to play fair and also, knew it would ruin the whole plan and he hadn't of put up with it THIS far just to fuck it up now.

He needed what would seem like a good hiding spot to a toddler but clearly wouldn't work for him and now up on his feet he scanned the yard.

"One...two...three...four.."

Jesus, this wasn't like a life or death battle but for Inuyasha he found himself frozen on the spot, trying to figure out what would work, his natural instinct to win was messing up his need to lose!

"Five...six..seven.."

ok this was just getting stupid! he fought the urge to face palm and then spotted a narrow opening under the steps to the back porch, it would hide him from Souta's direct line of sight but would of gotten him caught as soon as the little guy came close.

"Eight...nine...ten, That's half the count yasha!" Souta called.

'heh, he really is a fair sport.' Inuyasha thought, then as stealthy as he could (read, not at all) waddled his way over to his chosen hiding spot even as his tummy started to feel a little bit weird.

'Must be that glass of icky juice they insisted I drink before coming out so I don't get dehydrated.' Inuyasha thought, crinkling loudly and having to speed up.

"Fourteen...fifteen...sixteen..." Souta called out, a big goofy grin on his face.

Waddling with all the speed he muster and keep up the lie, Inuyasha drove to get into the hole.. and found out that while he had been right he could of squeezed in there normally.. he hadn't taken into account the triple diapers. His upper half was in, but his padd butt and legs stuck out and he knew if he tried to force himself in,he'd end up losing them.

'fuck my life..'

"seventeen, eighteen..nineteen...twenty! Ready or not here I ..pffft.. come..heh. Did you get stuck little yasha?"

Inuyasha had been about to push himself back out but with Souta's suggestion, figured that worked and started to give out a sheepish yes, but his tummy cramped and it came out much more panicked.

"Yeah! Uh.. Please help me git out!" he said, one hand keeping him from going into the dead leaves and the like under the step but the other was on his tummy, and he kicked his legs a little more to try and work out the cramp.

"hey, it's ok! don't worry! I'm coming over, though you have to stop kicking your legs. I'm gonna grab you at the waist and pull you back, so watch your head!" Souta called, and Inuyasha could hear him running over.

"O-Ok." The half demon whimpered, the cramps were getting worst and he semi pushed back a little giving Souta a better place to grip though he didn't take into account with the building cramps he might not want someone wrenching on his midsection.

'oh god, this feels like that time I ate those clam's that had gone bad right before I..I..Oh those fucking bitches!' Inuyasha thought, cluing in to why the ladies of the house had grinned so big when Inuyasha had downed his drink to get the icky tasting thing over and done with.

he had a brief second to think about just calling this off, he'd get himself out and whine to Souta that his tummy hurt and try and shit himself somewhere private, but by then it was far, far too late.

Souta's little arms and hands were trying to pull him out and the extra force on his tummy tum meant that while he did get free, pushing himself back to make it look like it was all Souta, he banged his head on the step knocking him loopy for a split second and also started to filled his diapers.

As he loudly farted and giggled, he wore a blissful stupid derp face.

Souta was shocked at just how strong he was as he freed the poor trapped little guy, though it was soon replaced with amusement and disgust as Inuyasha started to let out massive wet fart and then more then that, a stupid look on his face.

"Uhhh yasha, are you going boom boom?" Souta asked, holding his nose. it was rhetorical question at this point as the diaper was starting to swell, so Souta didn't figure he was gonna need to do a sniff check.

"Hehehe Ya! Going PBBBBBBTTTT!" Inuyasha giggled and stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry.

"heh, you surrrre are buddy. but it's ok. You uh.. stay here and finish up and I'll go get Kagome ok?" He said/asked, coming over and patting Inuyasha's head.

"OOOOOOTAYYYY!" the diaper pooping derp coo'ed.

"heh..wish Kagome would of worked me you went all derp when you unload. kinda cute." Souta giggled, then dashed up the step's to stick his head in the back door.

"Kagome! You need to come and get your boyfriend, he's pooping himself silly, Literally!" Souta called.

Yeah, wearing pull-ups sucked, but as Souta pulled his head back out of the back door and looked down at Inuyasha, at least he was a stinky diaper derp.

The end..for now

[thesumosnipe]

RISK

Stand and Deliver!

Well, VRV finally got sorted out and I got to see whats up so...

Flying monkeys! Finally get to see them in action...ok maybe not. But despite the clip last chapter showing a few lancers in the city getting lit up, looks like just the whale suffered that blast.

Ironwood is so hellsbent on his"Brave Sir Robin" strategy that he is ignoring the grimm still in city. Them flying beringals and the nevermore we saw? Completely unchallenged as all the airships are down at the crater keeping Mantle boxed in. And all the Atlesians down in the tunnels? No guards, no drones... those people are spam if any grimm figure out how to use stairs. This isn't about Atlas anymore. Despite what he says, this is all about Jimmy boi running away with as much loot as he can take with him. I'm kind of suprised he hasn't yet just jumped aboard the most intact capital ship and taken off.

Well, I am 90% sure of the AceOps stsndings now. I knew Marrow was doubting since ch1, and that Bree was all aboard the Tyrant Train but wasnt sure of the others. Vine is def still Ironwoods critter, Elm is shifting more to Marrows side.

Wonder if Marrow is now doubting that he made AceOps on his own merit, thinking now that he made the team mainly as a propaganda tool?

Winter with the save!

Almost feel bad for the Atlas grunts. Qrow last chapter? That worked too fast to be a chokehold. Qrow snapped that guys neck. As for the rest of the guards, "outlook not good"

Gonna go with the majority theory that the elevator opened to Winter and Marrow. So if that 4 team up we have.. WRQM..I have seen it called team Wreck Em by the group Sirs and Madams Entertainment, but I prefer: Team Requiem

Robyn, at this point revenge is not petty.

backtracking a bit- Fiona, May and Joanna hug- them ladies need some down time with their fourth. And hot damn, Snowshovel Susan and the Ginger Fox? I expect there will be a fic of those two before next week. And bigot granny gonna have to deal or take a snowshovel to the back of her noggin.

If ever there were a moment for Ruby to cuss, it was that moment she slammed her hands on the table. Kids need some sleep...but clock is ticking.

"I need a little room to breathe, CAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE, AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!"-Yang and Ruby. Both of them trying so damned hard to look strong and carry on.

Schnee manor getting real drafty with all the broken windows.

Fuck. Ok, for any would be capes out there, if I go full super villain, I'm going give you a freebie- eyes are my weakness. You want me to hesitate and flinch away, fiddle with your concat lenses or put in some eyedrops, you'll completely derail me. I say this to give an idea of just how badly Pennys eye shifting during her scene screwed me up. Just a smidge less than her pleading for Ruby to kill her.

Boop. That is all.

I have been saying this since the end of Vol5: Beacon and Haven. Ozpin and Lionheart. 2 schools trashed, 2 headmasters dead. 100% kill ratio for schools team RWBY has visited. With everyone rolling up on Atlas Academy's doorstep in the coming chapters, things are not looking good for Jimbo and his school.

Ok, quick side note: Yeah, RT First I would have been able to see it yesterday. But frankly RWBY is the only thing RT is putting out that I am interested in. I can only afford 1 streaming subscription and VRV offers more year round.

[crystalelemental]

I know it's way too early for this kind of speculation, but what do you think FE17 will be? the Genealogy remake would be interesting, but that'd possibly damn FE18 into a Thracia remake, much like Shadow Dragon/New Mystery. unless they decide to make it into 1 game, which doesn't sound probable to me. maybe they'll make a new story, with less, uh, questionable morals to keep the new 3H fans interested into the franchise? will they keep the calendar, the instruction stuff, or go back to the laid back way of Awakening/Fates/Echoes? you don't have to give a long answer if you don't want, I'm just musing a bit here

“You don’t have to give a long answer,” as if that’s ever stopped me.

What do I think it will be?  I have no idea.  But given its popularity, they could be considering it like a Tellius situation, with a prequel game.  I don't think they can go sequel (more on that in the other response), but prequel with Seiros as the focus, going from the Red Canyon Massacre to the end of the War of Heroes?  Sign me up.  I would love more on that.  And I adore games that focus on side stories (Thracia, Blazing Blade), so I'm super on board for a fleshed-out side story about that period in Fodlan.

I can't say what they'd try to do with gameplay, but I do think they'd keep a sort of "home base" kinda thing at a minimum.  The instruction aspect of Three Houses was very specific to that game, and truthfully, I don't know if it will maintain.  Not to be how I am constantly, but I hope it doesn't.  I really feel like the monastery exploration and having to fine-tune instruction for students was more tedious than anything, and ultimately didn't add much to the gameplay experience.  I also feel like the calendar was kind of a bad call too.  A lot of events, as they're laid out, feel like they should be happening back to back.  But because of the calendar focus, you have situations where it implies you traveled far off to engage in a big battle, but then just walked back to the monastery for a whole month before marching out the same direction.  I don't think it blends events together all that nicely.  Frankly I think Fates' decision to have a pocket dimension where you can take care of your bullshit was a better way to hand-waive the question of how you're able to backpedal and stock up in the midst of a campaign.

That said, any non-remake game, and possibly even the remake game, will take inspiration from Three Houses in the same way Fates and Echoes did from Awakening.  The massive success of Three Houses is guaranteed to be an anomaly to them.  They still don't know why Awakening worked, I doubt they'll know why this one worked.  So I anticipate a lot of character tropes and storytelling angles will be reused in future games.  They'll try to mess with perspective and the idea of hidden history muddying the morality of things for sure.  I don't think there's any benefit for them to go back to more clear-cut morality.  Even if there's a lot of fan argument about it (Edelgard and Dimitri fans), that's never a bad thing.  That's still attention being drawn to your game.  That's still discussion around it.  No press is bad press, and this game is still more popular than the rest of the series ever had been.  So they'll keep characters like Lysithea, and Bernadetta, and have that attempt at a complex plot, and a bunch of mysteries that never get answered, and oh god every MU is going to be like Byleth now oh god oh fuck.

But personally, I want the next game to be a Genealogy remake.  I have issues with Genealogy as a whole, both gameplay and story-wise, and a remake could salvage at least some of that.  Support conversations definitely could, and a changing of certain story elements would be nice, although Fallen Julia's already in FEH so like...there goes my greatest hope.

That said, I don't really want them to do too much?  Like, Echoes added a few characters, and while those are some of the best in the game, a lot of that I feel like was to add any sort of significance to Alm's journey beyond the end goal.  Alm's route would be boring as all hell without Berkut, so his inclusion was a massive benefit to the game.  But I can't think of a situation where my qualms with Genealogy is "This just isn't engaging enough, we don't have enough people."  Genealogy almost has too many characters.  If anything their bigger problem is that characters and themes they set up are never utilized.  So it's more about reworking the narrative a bit rather than needing to include things to make a blander game stand out, you know?

I definitely don't think they'd combine Genealogy and Thracia.  I mean they could, but I don't think it's a good idea.  Genealogy, again, has too many characters already.  Combining the games leads to the question of where the hell Leif's army is, and that's adding like 50 characters to the roster.  Since you deploy every unit you have in Genealogy, that's...way too much.  They'd have to completely rebalance the game.  Not to mention Thracia doesn't play at all like Genealogy, and is way too long to be a brief side-story or DLC exclusive.  There's just no effective way to integrate the two.  I think it would be better to just make the game after that the Thracia remake, which...honestly is the best possible outcome as far as I'm concerned.

Binding Blade may not have come to the west, but people know Roy, and this series started over here with Blazing Blade.  We know a lot of Binding Blade information, by virtue of dedicated fans being upset the logical continuation of their starting point never got translated.  Comparatively, Genealogy and Thracia are pretty damn isolated, and it shows in their CYL placements.   They're not well known games at all, and gameplay-wise, they're really awkward and (in my humble opinion), not actually fun to play at all.  A remake is ideal for those games, because it gives them a chance to gain more attention and popularity in the general public's eyes.  Which is good!  Genealogy does have a worthwhile story to tell despite my gripes about its problems, and I honest to god thing Thracia's one of the best stories in the series, with one of the best protagonists in the series.  These games deserve more recognition than they get, and they're not gonna get it until they get remade to be more accessible.

It also dawns on me that the "less questionable morals" may have been about Genealogy's whole incest thing.  Listen, I get it, but they can't take it out.  I don't say this lightly, but that is like...the central point of Genealogy.  The awakening of Loptous is a matter of converging its bloodline, which had only one surviving member.  You really cannot work around this one, without making things either too confusing or too stupid.  If they really felt the need for that, they might back off of the remake entirely, which would be to their detriment.  But considering the Byleth/Rhea situation, I don't think they'll have much trouble.  And besides, it's pretty clear that an act of incest was the catalyst for almost destroying the continent, so I think it's safe to say the game doesn't agree with the practice.

[incarnateirony]

Isn't it cute how we keep finding RL parallels to show that what they're doing with Destiel is a Romance with a capital R, and now the show itself used Destiel as a parallel to show that Saileen is a romance (even tho everyone already knew That)? And they'll come back to eachother eventually? Wow. I hope I got my point across, but this thought hasn't left me since the "What's real?" "This is." convo between Sam and Eileen. Two sister ships are driving this season, and I'm all here for it.

Yeah.

The fandom result is less fun, with people calling text subtext because they simply don’t understand the text’s merit (eg, Last Call) that was settled long before anybody in this fandom considered themselves a genius to try to argue circles around it. Like Y2K called it wants to update fandom on some LGBT issues already settled. Oz was… what? 1997-2003? (Which is when Bobo ended up writing his LGBT rep sociopolitical commentary?)

The show has me ecstatic. The fandom has me reeling in horror in how willfully LGBT people have coded themselves into a performative-to-het-demands-culture that they’ll talk down content and structure used for romantic het pairings even when it’s front and center. 

This isn’t the world of subtextual secret handshakes anymore, guys. I don’t know if meta fandom is reeling on what an actual Will They/Won’t They looks like as opposed to, yes, S7 wallpapers or fish or whatever rando shit got chased as a stream; or even compared to lowkey structural subtext like Colette which hid so many layers beneath the surface that it needed to be actively negotiated and tracked. 

Not front, textual assertions that Dean does in fact have Oz-esque group encounters beyond even Deanmon, that he alone had to bury Cas and burying Eileen was the same for Sam, only to turn around and have them mirror shit and truncate their emotional adventure with a kiss and fandom’s out here footstomping and invalidating the text level bullshit because it’s not said how they want, when they want. 

Like guys that shit is text. People not understanding the text does not make it non-text. Whether or not you know your LGBT history and intersectional issues (or have modernly soaked dialogue from alt right platforms that XYZ isn’t gay if you yell no homo, since there’s even parts of the world where men identify “straight” despite routinely pursuing sex with men and abandoning women that FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE HERE CATER TO THE DIALOGUES OF) – whether you know any of this, whether you UNDERSTAND this – the information still exists. 

People still try to explain that the earth is flat instead of round because they don’t understand science, or evolution for the same reason. That doesn’t mean there’s actually reasonable permissive argument here. In fact, it’s embarrassing as fuck to watch anyone hold one of these arguments. People not understanding material does not invalidate what the material actually means.

And seriously like– “WE WANT–” … what, a love confession or a kiss, I guess. All the other goalposts that were set up were blown by. The former love yous and similar phrasings (I guess we’re herding love affirmations into ONLY three specific words and otherwise it’s not valid, because… Magic Meta Gay People Rules) weren’t enough! And! AND! Even the ones that WERE those three words, people could arGUE!!! It might not be gaY!!!

So let’s be honest bitters & meta fandom & alternate shippers having sixteen jealousy fits: You don’t even want an I Love You, because it would have to be “I love you, and like, only you, romantically, like in love with you, in the gay way, let’s go have gay sex” for this to pacify this utterly homophobic ball of bullshit they have going on.

So we’ll be honest. You want a kiss.

That’s great. I do too.

At the same time, I can gesture you to a literally endless amount of history where literature and TV did not require a kiss for the romantic content to be valid and even celebrated.

That’s not what magically makes all the text text. The text is the text.

The subtext is elements like Reno, and Mary/John, or Amara/Chuck, and even those are loud as FUCK still. Ironically, *the text is quieter than the subtext right now*

If you take the text: Dean has repeat group encounters that are decades-ago LGBT qualified as queer; Dean loses all hope without Cas, once he has to bury Cas, and Eileen does the same for Sam.

The subtext of this: Dean actually forgot an entire woman in his tryst, which means she wasn’t a focus, which makes this gayer than the default gay text; Dean yet again followed viking widower tradition with Cas as a spouse and buried him himself.

This is literally “Cas is Dean’s Collette” but 1. fully textual instead of 3 levels under and 2. much more personal with a full character we witnessed with Eileen rather than flashbacks of Colette for a few seconds. The text here has subtext. It is text. Whether people understand the text, like the LGBT issues around 15.07 or not is an onus on them, but does not invalidate the content. People not understanding Gays doesn’t delete Gays, that isn’t how that works.

Because the hilarity of the line people trying to keep their blogs valid at– that they’re running? All text is subtext unless all text is explained unto a point that it can’t be argued, but that of course leaves the explanation subtext until it, too, is explained beyond a shadow of a doubt to children, and then so on, ad infinity, in a quantum loop of calling everything under god’s written heaven subtext.

I had a conversation with a meta writer who won’t be named that went full bore in a loop. They called it subtext. I pointed out where it was flat surface text. Yes, they said, that IS text, but people can still argue, so that makes it subtext. Uh, no, I pointed out, that isn’t how this works or what those words mean, someone’s understanding of the meaning of text does not invalidate the actual meaning the words have. Arguing with a phantom menace of a GA that’s all catching on right now to contend with tinhatters and a few other oddballs out there that are hilariously small and not in the GA eye isn’t worth changing the entire dictionary. Because The Dictionary Is A Good Book. If someone doesn’t understand all the words in the dictionary and what they mean that, also, does not invalidate the dictionary if it doesn’t have an infinite set of asterisks defining every definition. Anyway, said meta person completely went postal about it after that because after trying to loop the same argument three times and realizing They Will Always End Up Here, off they went when I said that arguing with idiots online wasn’t worth demolishing the dictionary, media study, or queer content.

AV medium seems to be confusing the fuck out of people that fancy themselves or are even degreed lit savants.

But hey, maybe there’s a ruse being played. Maybe Bobo already got that lucky corporate dice roll and is playing into his thematic structure. Maybe he will manage to break through with a kiss. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

Frankly more than to argue with idiots, I kind of want it to exemplify the gross homophobia going on in this fandom. And I don’t mean antis. I mean every single person, right here and right now, redefining things to maintain their hysteria and anger or even just their general relevance/podium that evaporates if they acknowledge that it is what it is; that every bit of queer text AND subtext they talked down and deleted and tried to wedge into “platonic” boxes due to their own lack of LGBT cultural understanding was real, and valid, and while antis screamed and shouted raging at the text as provided, they were the ones there, being enemies this year, deleting queer content until their arbitrary goalpost, fulfilling as it may be, and as much as I personally want it too, was met. But if that happens, IF that happens, it WILL be by Bobo’s hand or Dabb’s with Bobo’s guidance, and I can PROMISE you he will make it such a sociopolitical commentary on the heteronormative bullshit going on (like his DreamHunter commentary that BLEW BY everyone) that I expect several people to delete their damn accounts in mortal embarrassment.

This season is gorgeous everyone. Enjoy it.

For the record, if that million to one shot is on the table, the episode everyone should watch for results, beyond the finale, is 15.18. I’m not gonna get into all the reasons here beyond Putrefaction/Blackening > Whitening > Yellowing > Reddening = Gold and if anybody wants to know what the fuck I mean by that, send me an ask. (I’m working on a Putrefaction video to plug into my series to help with that. And beyond that pacing, structure, rhythm, and Bobo. But that also does not mean anyone should seriously place their emotional chips on it, just to stop getting cranked up and demanding THIS NEXT EPISODE OR PERISH.)

Because if you think there’s ever a point homophobes are gonna stop arguing shit down, you’re in for a bad time. Straight pairs like Mulder/Scully that kissed got no romos mental gymnasticsing around it. If you expect differently with DeanCas you’re IN FOR A RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE

But I don’t want to hear one more goddamn peep about representation from that wing of meta fandom. The representation is there, front and center, to relate to for the intended demographic, it just wasn’t what other demographics wanted. But it’s written by a middle aged LGBT man for middle aged LGBT men and if you aren’t in that bracket, and don’t like the results, you don’t get to go and try to destroy that representative material. Hell if you ARE in that demographic you don’t get to one-card steam roll over other LGBT men too, the way it works from there is you find other people in that demographic and discuss the content’s pros and cons. If it ends at “not the ship I like” instead of genuine problems with the content, you also don’t get to destroy that for other people in the demographic. So whether it’s like, desperate clout/platform/relevance clinging, or just complete lack of understanding of LGBT media history and the represented demographic, that shit needs to stop. Pick a side. 

You can’t genuinely fight for representation while going and kicking down rep sandcastles because they weren’t shaped how you want. That isn’t how it works. It works by owning the content, and requesting better or more. Requesting more explicit content does not require destroying the content you don’t consider “enough”, in front of you.

Overt queer subtext AND text remain an overt body within the text even if it does not reach a given explicit landmark that you personally have decided on and is 0% dependent on anyone’s understanding of the fucking content.

[bree-sasbdb]

Meeting Lassiter - TL Fun

Lassiter: *Hmmmm.... what to do, what to do.... so many choices for a deity-in-training.*

Bree: *Kiehran had been crying all day so when night finally came I bundled him up and got out his stroller so we could go for a walk. Plus the puppies could use it too. I put on my coat, hat and gloves and we set out for the park.*

Lassiter: *Just as I'm contemplating heading back to the manse and starting a Meg Ryan marathon, I see an unescorted female and her young on the sidewalk headed towards the park. Doesn't she know that's dangerous? But...she hasn't asked for help....but then the Brother's don't usually either. Choices, choices.... damn it, there needs to be a deity handbook or something for situations like this. Well, I'm just gonna go with my gut. I de-mat and reform behind a tree just inside the park. Stepping onto the sidewalk as she starts down the path, I kneel in front of the stroller and coo...* 

Aw, what a cutie. *grins as the puppies swarm me* Nice pups too.

Bree: *As soon as we started walking Kiehran calms down. I watch him look around in wonder at the way the snow glistens and looks. I love seeing the wonder on his face and hope that I can keep that from changing for as long as I can. We enter the park and we are almost to the playground when someone suddenly demats in front of us. It startles me and I see Kiehran staring at the person. However as he speaks Kierhan starts cooing in return and the puppies start jumping on him I don't feel fear. I'm not sure why I don't but until he does something to make that happen I decide to be go with it. Although I am a bit cautious.* " Thanks. All three can be a handful at times.*

Lassiter: *Standing, I nod* I can only imagine. But you know, it's not safe out here for a female and her young. Lessers, and all. Where's your hellren? *Frowning, as it occurs to me she might be in the same kind of situation the female and child I'd helped before were. Since I started listening to prayers I'd found out that too damned many were. Well, if she is, I'll be seeing to THAT.*  He should be seeing to your protection.

Bree: *Looking down before forcing myself to look back up I meet his eyes as I say* "I don't have one. It's just me and my nephew Kierhan. Since he was restless all day I decided to take him for a walk. Thinking about it now I realize the danger but at the time I was just thinking of him. I guess its a good thing you came along. Long days make for clouded thoughts and mistakes like tonight. Though I haven't seen or noticed anything since I've lived in the area." *Thinking about how stupid this idea was now and realizing the real danger I had put us in I shiver and it has nothing to do with the cold.*

Lassiter: *I can almost see the chill run up her spine as she becomes aware of the possiblities. Smiling gently, I offer...* Why don't I walk with you? If you're ok with that. *And too damn bad if she isn't. I'll just ghost along behind her. But I'd rather avoid the possibility of having to do violence in front of the young and my appearance should be enough to send any one up to no good the other way. After all, 6'8" of muscled male in black leather -- yeah, I leave the spandex at home when I go out -- is usually enough of a deterrent to send most  bad guys looking for easier prey. And if it isn't, well, I'll deal with it.*

It's good of you to take care of your nephew all day. Are his mahmen and papa away?

Bree: "Thank you I would appreciate that. I'm Bree and this is Kierhan. The puppies are Mia and Jax." *Looking at the stranger I doubt anyone would want to mess with him and I'm pretty sure I saw a bit of a bulge which I take to mean he's armed. I can't help myself from thinking he's more apt to have troubles with females rather then any male. I smile as the thought goes through my mind. When he mentions Kiehran's parent's the smile vanishes.* "My brother was killed with my parent's and his mahmen died having him. I'm all he's got and he's all I got."

Lassiter: Ah.... I'm sorry. *falling in beside her as we begin to walk again.* That's rough for both you and the little guy. They left you secure, though, right? Maybe enough you could hire a doggen to act as an escort when you go out like this? Or ask a friend to come with you? A  male friend?

Bree: *As we walk along I think about the best way to explain things too him, finally I settle on just telling him the truth.* "Well we should be comfortable but the male my father left in charge of overseeing the estate is being an ass. He only gives me so much money each month and  refuses to let me live in my family's home. He tried to become my ghuardian but in the will my father had listed my brother as my ghuardian so I convinced him letting me take my nephew and live where I wanted would be a good idea. Had I let him become my ghuardian he would of forced me to marry his son who is a lecherous drunk  and an abusive asshole. I would rather live on the street than be forced into that. I'm not sure why but something about all of it feels off to me and the way Marsden, the guy who controls the estate, is acting makes me seriously doubt anything he does. I'm thinking I may need the King's assistance because things aren't adding up. I do have two doggen's and they have helped so much but both were up all day as well so I let them stay home. As for a male friend I thought I did but he's  disappeared. I don't think he was ready for Kiehran to be in the picture. I haven't had much time since then to meet anyone else."

Lassiter: *My frown deepens as I take all this in.* Your ghardian is taking advantage of you. Wrath wouldn't like this and if Beth knew, well, Wrath really wouldn't like this. You need to petition the King. He's doing a lot to modernize the old laws and recognizing females as oh, I don't know, competent, sentient beings, maybe? is a critial component of that. *shoving my hands in my pockets and walking in silence for a few moments before continuing as I contemplate what could cause a male to bail on a female he cared about and the presence of a young didn't seem like something that should. Young were precious to the race. Finally....*

I don't know why a guy would jump ship over a young. But I do know that sometimes things out of our control happen. I wouldn't completely write him off until you know for sure. But until you do...*stopping and gently taking her arm to stop her* give me your phone for a second.

Bree: *Hearing him call the King and Queen anything but by there titles made me wonder if perhaps he wasn't a member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. He was built bigger then most males so it made sense.* "I actually just confronted Marsden the other day because I went to my family's  house, things had been moved around and some were missing. I told him to return the items or I would go to the King. He turned white. For some reason I can't see he doesn't want me to get the King involved. It worked because he returned the items to me. He claimed he was just having them appraised but my parent's had just had everything appraised two months before they were killed. Since he returned the items to me my minds been racing trying to see what I'm missing. I have heard about the King's more modernized approach. I'll definitely look into his assistance. I don't know why Si has disappeared and I'm not giving up on him but I can't live my life in a holding pattern waiting for him. If and when he comes back we can discuss things but until then I'm going to continue living my life." *Taking my phone out of my pocket I hand it over to him. Trying to figure him out as I do.* "Here ya go. I'm sorry I never got your name."

Lassiter: *Taking her phone, I enter two phone numbers into her directory* The first number is to the Audience House. Call it and set up a meet. You can either petition to have this guy...Marsden, you said? Yeah, Marsden, replaced as your ghardian or to have it revoked entirely. Frankly,  you strike me as a sharp cookie. Acting as full-time mahmen to little Kiehran here might keep you busy enough to need to hire a lawyer and a business manager to work with you, but you don't need a keeper. The second number, *looking up from the phone and grinning* Is me. Lassiter. You call me if you need ANYTHING, from taking this little guy to the park to punching somebody out for you. I'm an equally opportunity friend.  *Handing the phone back to her* Got it?

Bree: *Taking my phone back, smiling* "Its nice to meet you Lassiter. Thank you for the number to the audience house. I had heard of it but I wasn't sure how to reach them. I've done a good job of keeping things going since my family's death. Though after dealing with Marsden I'm  not sure that I would trust anyone else to take care of things. I appreciate that. My father and brother had been teaching me how to defend myself but I haven't done much since I transitioned. Although I was able to put Marsden son, Trahern on his ass after I confronted his father." *grinning as I said that I continue,* "But I will definitely keep that in mind." *Bending down to grab Kiehran's toy I notice that his cheeks are getting red.* "I think I better take this little guy home. Wanna walk with us?"

Lassiter: *Smiling down at her* I wouldn't have it any other way. *As we turn around to walk back to her home my mind begins to turn things over. How much am I allowed to interfere here? My gut wants to jump in and take this Marsden and his scumbag son and drop them off the edge of the Grand Canyon. They might be able to control their fear enough to demat before they hit bottom, but then again they might not. Small loss to the race if they didn't, but somehow, I don't think the Creator would approve. On the other hand, I'm not going to let a female be hurt. Sighing internally, I realize that I have to wait until she makes her choices about what to do. But if she does call on me for help, then yeah, that's right up my deity-alley. Absently, I comment* 

I think little man is getting another tooth. *hastily adding, so she doesn't catch on how I know* He seemed a little drooly when we were getting to know one another and that could be what made him fussy today.  

*As we reach the edge of the park, I ask* So where do you live?

Bree: "Yeah he's been teething for a bit. I'm hoping they'll cut through soon because so far since he started teething all he wants is to be held by me. I've walked so many laps I'm starting to wear tracks in my carpet." *As we hit the road I turn toward our house* "We live this way it's just a couple streets up then we turn right. So what has you out on this cold night?" Wondering what had him out in the seemingly empty park this far away from downtown.*

Lassiter: *shrugs* It just seemed like a nice night for a walk. Cold air clearing my head and all. 

*That my head needs clearing after I've done my daily evaluation of pleas and petitions to the VS has to go unsaid. And yet it does. I get frustrated at the things I'm not allowed to just step in and fix, like her situation, because free will and all and then sometimes I just get plain pissed off.*

It feels good to be in the quiet and the park in this neighborhood is quiet.

Bree: *grins* "Yeah it definitely is quiet. Sometimes like tonight I forget the danger. Tonight it was because of his crying but I admit there have been other nights where I've walked the dogs through it alone. Since my best friend was mated we don't see each as often so I spend my  time as I walk the dogs thinking. Probably a lot more then I should, I've had to catch myself. Sometimes I think so much I forget to watch my surroundings. My dad would be disappointed about that because for as long as I can remember he always taught me to be aware of my surroundings and be prepared for anything." *Looking down as we reach my street* "I have to do better then this." *Turning the stroller and crossing the street.*

Lassiter: *glancing both ways as we cross the street, I almost stop, that deity knowledge stuff that I get sometimes kicking in. As we walk towards her house, I stop her by taking her wrist*

Look, don't walk the dogs until this stuff is resolved and don't go out alone. The dogs can do their business in the backyard. Just throw the ball around for them if they get antsy. Little man will be ok sitting in a bouncy watching them play. Or have the doggen walk them. And don't go out alone. Take someone. Or call me. Just watch your back, ok?

Bree: *Looking up at you and seeing the real concern you have for me,* "Okay I will." *I look into your eyes and try to decipher where all this concern is coming from. There's something there but I can't seem to put my finger on it. Lately it seems I can't put my finger on a lot of things. Suddenly an image of the man from Marsden office to mind and his reaction to me. I look down hoping to hide my sudden feeling of fear and confusion. None of this makes much sense but I do know that he is right to warn me. It seems as if my parent's death put something in motion that I can't stop but I have no idea what.*

Lassiter: *I can see what's happening, and all the different roads it could go down depending on her choices, but I can't do a damned thing until she chooses and I can't see just what she /will/ choose. But those choices will decide whether both she and Kiehran live or die. Squeezing her arm urgently...* Just keep your eyes open. Be aware and in the moment at all times. And if you call my phone and can't get me call the Audience House and ask for help, ok? Promise.

Bree: *Feeling the urgency in his squeeze of my arm I look back up at him.* "I promise you I will!" *As we start walking again towards the house I kept help but think that I know Lassiter from somewhere. As we reach the house I stop and look up at him again.* "This is us." *I reach  out and place my hand on his arm. Hoping that my eyes show the sincerity of my words.* "Thank you for walking with us. I means a lot that you took time out of your night to help us."

Lassiter: It was no big deal. *smiling* It was nice to have company and *squatting down beside the stroller and taking another look at the now drowy young* to meet little man here. 

*Standing back up, I step back* I'm just gonna stand here until you get inside and I hear the door lock ok?

Bree: *smiling* "Yeah that's okay. Thanks again." *I walk to the stairs and turn around so I can pull the stroller up the steps leading to the door.  Nerville opened the door and quickly came to help me. I waved to Lassiter as I shut the door and lock it behind me.*

Lassiter: *Hearing the lock make a resounding click as she turns it settles me some but I always knew this wouldn't be the night that her life turns on. But it's coming. 

Heaving a sigh, I turn from the door and look up at the sky and yell*

You know, this would all be a lot  

easier without ALL THESE RULES! 

*huffing out my irritation, I demat back to the mansion. I've lost my taste for Meg Ryan tonight, but maybe I can substitute the Rocky movies. I'm in the mood to punch a few things.*

#Meeting Lassiter

#TL Fun

#SASBDB

#SaintsNSinners

[transfemininomenon]

Hey, i'm actually a "truscum" i found out recently, but im a little confused on the whole ordeal. Im not even sure if i actually am truscum or not- because some posts seem to tie up with me being one but others dont, but i saw you were really against them, so i wanted to ask if you're okay with a friendly calm conversation about it? I am very confused and i just want to learn a bit more or find out if i'm wrong about the whole ordeal. Are you open to it?

i'll be honest im not sure how friendly i can be with this kind of conversation because i really truly genuinely, and i don't use this word lightly, Hate truscum and its hard for me to really be civil about the discussion. but for the sake of this and me giving you a lot of benefit of the doubt that this ask is in good faith i'll explain why i do not like the entire truscum ideology

1. i guess i'll start off with the Big One - the claim that dysphoria is Required to be trans. i'll preface this by saying that i am someone who has experienced, and currently Experiences in wildly different degrees depending on what is happening in my life, dysphoria throughout my entire life. i had my entire teenage and young adult years stolen from me by it. i won't get into details about it because that is a Very Very Personal subject for me, but needless to say dysphoria is something that was a very prevalent part of my life.

anyway. the notion that dysphoria is a Trans Requirement™ is something that i hugely disagree with. i used to think that me figuring out i was a trans woman was because i experienced dysphoria, but frankly the opposite is true. dysphoria is what made me refuse to believe i was a woman or could ever be one. it made me believe i was a man and that was all i would ever be. it wasn't until i really started experimenting with my gender and unpacking a lot of stuff i felt about myself that i started to finally realize the woman i was. i first started trying our she/her pronouns nearing four years now, and started using the name Alice a few months after that. being referred to as a woman & experimenting with different feminine things gave me such incredible feelings of euphoria that i still experience to this day whenever i discover something new about my identity.

and that is something ive heard from SO many other trans people i know. or different things too - i know people who are completely fine with their bodies, just certain words and terms never felt Right to them. because the thing with dysphoria is that it, like all things gender related, is a product of society. dysphoria only exists because transphobia exists - people are told that there are these two rigid things that you are and HERE is what makes you one of those things, and those things are drilled into you literally since birth. everything from colors to jobs to hobbies to cars to entertainment to clothing to Literally Everything is gendered, and when that happens then of fucking course there are gonna be people who don't fall in line with that, and when it's so instilled into people and seen as such societal norms of COURSE people are going to have trouble with that.

and that's not even getting into the subject of gender on a biological level. the fact of the matter is that the two sex system Isn't True and that biological sex is very complicated. intersex people exist, people with all kinds of different chromosomes exist, people of certain body types that have higher levels of different hormones exist, SO much goes into that subject that frankly narrowing it down to two things just doesn't Work

and that's the real problem at the end of the day. dysphoria only exists because of a fucked up gender binary that clashes with both biology and sociology. people are complicated on both a biological and personal level and having set binaries for things is bound to cause confusion & doubt.

like, people's identities are SUCH personal things in so many different ways. there isn't any Right Way™ to be trans. i know trans women with beards, trans women who have no interest in starting hrt, trans men who wear dresses and makeup, non-binary people who make no effort to be androgynous, i know SO many different identities and different people. because the fact is that there's no right way to be trans because nothing is inherently gendered including people's very bodies. people are themselves and there is no Right way to be themselves.

that's on top of the lack of education when it comes to the subject of gender. such a huge part too of me figuring out i was trans was literally learning that it was even a fucking option. i genuinely didn't know just Being A Girl was an option. reading up on gender stuff and researching the different idea of transitioning was intrinsic in my figuring out who i was because oh shit turns out there are people like me and that is Okay.

like, dysphoria literally could've been a non-issue for me. i could've lived in a world where i could just Exist and enjoy whatever i wanted without it being weird. i could've decided so much sooner that i wasn't happy with the way my body was growing and not spent my entire teen years being so confused why i was so sad seeing my girl peers. i could have from the start just gotten to be a girl and never have had dysphoria be part of the equation.

im not trans being i experience dysphoria. im trans because being a woman is rad as hell and it's what i wanted. im trans because changing my name to Alice was the biggest moment of my entire life. im trans because rebelling against the societal restraints of gender is fucking metal. im trans because my friends can't even remember me ever not being me now. im trans because im a great older sister. im trans because god nerfed me and i said nah thanks man but im not feeling it.

my identity and my gender are very personal and complicated things, and narrowing it down to "i experience dysphoria" is frankly insulting to me.

anyway, that's the big point out of the way, so here's some shorter ones

2. this is kinda expanding on the last point, but truscum both insisting non-binary people aren't a thing and them insisting "transtrenders" exist is hmm Bad

the sheer fact of the matter is the concept of being non-binary has existed from the oldest known records of human history on TOP of that concept being prevalent in many different cultures so what do ya know there's a healthy dose of racism involved in the denial of non-binary people. the gender binary is such a western concept and there are SO many different cultures where different gender identities exist.

and, frankly, going back to the above point that gender is fucking Fake and is a societal concept - again, of fucking course there are going to be people who see a rigid set of rules on gender and are like "well wait that doesn't fit me" so of COURSE non-binary people exist

on the subject of "transtrenders" i feel like i shouldn't even HAVE to get into this subject because of how inherently transphobic it is. the concept doesn't exist. there are people who experiment with their gender and then decide their assigned one is fine. there are people who go through all kinds of different identities. there are people who come out as a different gender and then revert back due to backlash. there are people who get told the way they present their gender is the Wrong Way™ and get branded a trender. it's a dangerous thought process that literally does nothing but serve the cis status quo and make people afraid to experiment and think about their identities.

3. the idea that Those Evil Trenders™ are stealing resources from the Real Trans People™ is, frankly, fucking bullshit. issues when it comes to trans people finding difficulty accessing healthcare comes from a transphobic society hellbent on denying us care on top of fucked up healthcare systems in general. hormones aren't some limited quality hard to acquire thing - when i started hrt transferring my prescription from my clinic to my local pharmacy was a non-issue because it's something basically any pharmacy will have for ALL kinds of different purposes. it's an issue because healthcare in general is a god damn Mess on TOP of inherent transphobia

and, frankly, truscum are directly involved in that transphobia in the medical field. unless you find an informed consent clinic you're going to have to jump through all kinds of hoops to prove you're Actually Trans™ by getting referrals from other (almost always cis) people and then get put on ridiculous waitlists to make sure you're not about to change your mind. that kind of attitude is only encouraged by truscum and it is one of the biggest source of trans people having such difficulty accessing healthcare.

4. truscum as far as im concerned are no different than any other transphobe. two years ago before i started hrt i was harassed by truscum multiple times, each time having them tell me i wasn't trans, that i was just a trender, and it genuinely boggles my mind that anyone thinks misgendering me because i disagreed with their ideology is Woke, actually. I've seen so many fellow trans women getting called men by truscum who disagreed with them. i was actively told i shouldn't start hrt because i "wasn't really trans and was gonna ruin my life"

i really hope all of people live in anger every day knowing ive been on hrt over a year and a half and am fucking Thriving

anyway that's all i got to say on the matter i realize my points became less thought out as it went on but frankly the first point is enough for me to not like truscum

(please refrain from reblogging this i don't want any clowns in my inbox)

[mcl-mia]

//you know what. i'm gonna say it.

zeus is a really good character.

is he as complex as randy, or has a super compelling backstory like yukiya? no, probably not. he's a rude, obnoxious, and prideful little shit that doesn't know a lot of boundaries. he radiates big moron energy all the time.

but what makes him shine so damn much is how he interacts with others. he's super interactive with the other characters which gives a LOT of insight into him.

zeus trusts hugo as far as he can throw him, and literally states he doubts he can get along with him, and then he spends the rest of the time trying to get hugo to laugh. it's what he DOES. he's an entertainer at heart, and he loves making people laugh.

lucious is practically a little brother to him at this point. he gave him his old uniforms, he visits him on a damn near daily basis, and he even is the one to comfort him when lucious is heartbroken about claudia's death. even when lucious is being a tsundere little shit, zeus is always there to ground him and assure him that they ARE friends. he cares about him so much that he's very willing to sacrifice a lot of time and energy to find a way to get lucious out of the labyrinth. he genyinely wants the best for him.

and hiro?

... you guys already know what i can say about his relationship with hiro.

zeus' character depends a lot on his interactions with others. is he the best person with the best morals? no, of course not. far from it. but it would be such a disservice to him if anyone said he didn't give a shit about other people. quite frankly, he almost cares a bit too much. zeus loves all the people around him, and he's incredibly grateful to everyone that takes care of him. he even says so in his birthday spinoff. he's not always super clear about it, but the guy has a lot of love to give to the world.

all of it just makes him just an enjoyable character. and quite frankly, i love it. i just wish we could have seen more in his own route.