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#so there's no reason for me to be coming to any conclusions
txtmetonight · 2 days
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I know I love you ✆
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call summary ⋆ ★ when a moment of realization flashes–and they know that they love you to the fullest of their heart
pairing *. * Ot5 TXT x Fem! Reader
genre⋆ ★ Fluff, slight angst in hyuka's
warnings *. Insecurities in hyuka's, bad grammar (semi-checked)
call duration⋆ ★ 2.6k
a/n*. * This was so fun to write lololol. also idk if anyone has actually noticed, but i'm slowly changing my format hehehe
taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet
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Yeonjun’s eyes seem to blur, but he supposes that's because the practice room he currently resides in is starting to get to him, like he's hearing voices. The mirror in front of him is dusty, and it's quite a sad sight when he looks at himself—hair disheveled and messy, with his cheeks bitten red like a tomato. It's past midnight, and he knows he should be home, but he can’t find the heart to get up and leave.
The dance isn’t perfect, not to his liking, and it kills him inside as his feet get sloppy and arms start to flail in a nonsensical manner. His legs ache with strenuous pain, but he gets up one more time. Just once more, he promises himself.
Yeonjun knows very well that his words mean nothing but a lie. It’s a never-ending loop that he can’t free himself from. He forces himself up, and his fingers flinch to turn on the speaker. He's hovering over the button, but he can’t seem to move it away.
The clock reads 12:34 when he gets a shrill ring—it scares him half to death. Yeonjun stalks over to his phone and picks it up with a slight interest. It’s you, he realizes, and he doesn’t waste a moment's second to pick up the call.
“Choi Yeonjun, where are you?!”
He chuckles into the receiver. You're amusing, and his eyes crinkle. “Still at practice…” Yeonjun could almost see your grimace on the other side.
You sigh, “Are…are any of the boys with you? Or are you overworking yourself again?”
Choi Yeonjun looks at the empty practice room. He wonders if he should just fib, but for some reason, you've always been good at spotting his lies. You call it your girlfriend instincts; Yeonjun thinks it's pure bullshit. “
The latter,” he finally responds.
You go silent on the call at his words, and he pulls back his phone to make sure the line hasn't cut. It didn’t, so he just stares at your contact photo with a smile. You’re very pretty. But your next blabber is definitely not.
“Choi fucking Yeonjun! You better get your ass back home before I leave you to the streets! Do you hear me?! I am not letting you pass out again! By the time it turns one, you better be here, or I’m stuffing you into our next meal.”
This time you actually cut the call. Yeonjun knows the meaning of your threats and isn’t one to test them, so he hurriedly packs his duffel bag before he locks the door. And as he does, he knows that he’s so unequivocally in love with you—it hurts in a good way.
Choi Yeonjun realizes two things that night. First, you’re entirely scary in your way. And second, he wants to spend the rest of his lifetime and many more lives beyond that with you.
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"You’re nowhere in sight. It’s quite unusual – really. Normally, you'd be situated on the couch, scrolling through your phone or reading a book, but for some reason, you aren’t there. Soobin carefully shuts the door and quickly comes to the conclusion of your disappearance; you’ve gone to sleep.
Honestly, he doesn’t blame you. He came home a little late from vocal practice and was tired himself. All he longs to do is cuddle up to your side, preferably forever. Yet he knew from his upcoming schedules that it was going to be a while before he gets his proper break with you.
Still, he smiles at the thought of it. He lets his feet round the corner to the kitchen where he grabs a quick drink of water before making his way to your shared bedroom. Soobin’s arms feel heavy, and his throat is scratchy from all the singing exercises earlier today. All he craves are the warm blankets, but he’s abruptly stopped in his daydreaming about sleep as his hand grasps the doorknob.
“The audacity of this girl!”
You’re not sleeping as he thought you were. And you’re cursing someone out – how interesting. Slowly as ever, Soobin opens the door to find you on your stomach with a computer right in your face, aggressively typing something on the keyboard. Your eyes are so focused on the screen that you don’t notice your boyfriend enter the room!
Taking advantage of your obliviousness, Soobin carefully toes his way to where you lie, just peeking over to see what got you in a twist.
Surprisingly enough, you’re writing a document-sized paragraph on Twitter. It’s filled with cruel words and language that he’s sure don’t comply with the app’s guidelines. He’s now filled with even more wonder.
“Hey honey… what are you doing?” he asks. You jump in your bed, accidentally smashing a couple of keys. Your eyes widen, and you punch a laughing Soobin. “What the hell! How long have you been there?”
He shrugs and takes off his jacket. “Long enough to question who you were bullying.”
You suddenly grow pink. “No… one?”
“Really?” Both of you know that he doesn’t buy the lie you try to feed him. So, you exhale in defeat and timidly stare at your fingers drumming against the computer pad. “Well, I dunno. Some girl was sending a hate train towards you, and I was just defending… your… name. I guess.” You grow quiet at the end, but it was loud enough for the boy to hear.
The silence in the air is loud, but before you could bury yourself in embarrassment in a heap of pillows nearby, Soobin bends to place a kiss on your cheek. He feels like he’s about to pass out, and as his stomach churns with its rollercoaster of emotions, he can’t help but feel an overwhelming feeling of love for you.
It expands in his heart and into his touch as he kisses you again – this time on your lips. He doesn’t know why, but his breathing starts to stutter when you kiss him once more, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt this time.
He relishes the warm feeling before his fingers slide to where your keyboard was pushed to the side. He presses post, and your giddy grin is all it takes for him to kiss your lips again, his hands cupping your face. Choi Soobin thinks that he’s stuck in a pool of undying love – but he’d rather drown than live if his heart wasn’t for you to kiss."
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The house is quiet. Except for the quiet chatter of the TV and the slight hums of your voice, as you thread through Beomgyu’s hair.
It's gentle when your fingers softly scratch his scalp, and he feels himself falling into a state of relaxation, his heart thrumming vividly in his chest. Your legs swing next to him where he sits on the ground, playfully poking at his thighs in a comical tease, and you place loving kisses on his head, so tiny and feather-like that he must strain to feel them.
Yet, it makes him feel full and content, so much so that he's undoubtedly about to burst. Soon enough, a scene on the drama you two have been binging—filled with emotions—suddenly causes you to pause the show with a slight furrow in your brow. He looks at you curiously but knows exactly what you're going to say.
And he couldn’t be happier to indulge.
“Oh, that’s so stupid! Who in—what?!” you complain to him. Beomgyu doesn’t say anything but giggles at you. You’re entirely entertaining and quite endearing. As you rant and rant, Beomgyu notices that the strain in his jaw from earlier in the day—which he quickly attributes to being the loud one in the group, the mood maker—was slowly lessening. He could finally smile properly without such a painful toothache. So, he grins at you. You grin back, and it sends butterflies coursing down his throat.
Beomgyu also realizes that he hasn’t spoken once this evening. Yet he hangs onto every word you say, every little movement, every little quirk, and comes to the realization that you don’t expect him to chatter. You really don’t. And that’s what he supposes he really loves about you; that your words make up for his in the silence of times, and you don’t wait for him to do the same, for you know that he cannot.
Choi Beomgyu is a silent motor who dwells in the words of your love, where he will reside forever on.
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Taehyun can’t help but glance at his phone, and it’s becoming increasingly frequent as time passes by. He tries not to let it interfere with his dance practice, but he really couldn’t help it. It’s like a magnet, drawing him in.
His friends notice, but they don’t say anything at first; they merely observe his odd behavior. But soon enough, their silence couldn’t be held anymore. Soobin breaks first.
“Is there something wrong with your phone?” he asks, pointing at the device that sits in a chair, right near where Taehyun has wiggled himself too. The boy in question perks up, his eyes flitting around the room, landing on each member before he turns back to Soobin.
“No,” he responds. Beomgyu scoffs at his obvious lying and points his arm at Taehyun’s phone. “Then why do you—” He then turns two fingers around and prods just in front of his eyes. “Keep looking at your phone!”
No one but Kai notices the tinge of red that flourishes on Taehyun’s ears, but his bashfulness could definitely be detected from the flustered smile that he delivers. “I don’t know what you guys mean.” Sure, he does. He was actually waiting for your daily afternoon text that you have yet to send.
Taehyun’s eyebrows furrow before he picks up his phone and scrolls onto your contact. The others sigh at his expense and leave him alone—most have an inkling about his unwarranted distraction, but Taehyun pays no mind to them. He’s on a very important mission.
Swift fingers dance across his keyboard before he shoots a very quick message. Taehyun’s very concerned by your lack of presence today, and his words are direct enough to show it.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Seconds later, several bubble pop up onto his screen. They seem to have a staring contest with Taehyun.
"Yeah. Open the door of your practice room. Kinda have my hands full :))"
The boy doesn’t hesitate to jog to the other end of the room and swing open the said door, to where, behold, you stand, with a great big smile and five plastic bags in hand. The sudden smell of food wafts through the area; and Taehyun doesn’t realize how hungry he really is.
You can tell too; you’d always had him figured out, however far you were from the love of your life. But he can’t stop staring at you until the boys come through and push him away. He guesses that they’ve smelled it too.
“Surprise! I figured that you guys could all take a break and eat lunch.” You press a chaste kiss to Taehyun’s cheek and push past him to put all of the stuff down. The other four boys rampage over to their own bags, screaming their thanks.
You just chuckle, but it slowly diminishes into a sweet smile when you find Taehyun still by the door. His eyes glow when they meet yours, and you gesture to sit next to you. “I love you,” he mouths. He decides that the way your cheeks puff and get red, or the way your lips curl, is what he wants to see in heaven. Or perhaps he’s already there.
It’s the small things, he supposes. The way you care. Like when you pour Beomgyu a drink and give Taehyun and Yeonjun your own food, insisting that you were going to shove it down their throats if they didn’t take it. Or when you ruffle Hyuka’s hair and adjust Soobin’s collar.
Later that day, Yeonjun carries thoughts. Thoughts that he whispers to Taehyun with a jolly grin after you leave on your merry way. “You better not lose her. I’ll kick you off the group if you do.”
Kang Taehyun has never believed in soulmates until you came along and stole his heart.
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It’s another one of those days. Where light usually shone, it was covered in bleak clouds, ones that Kai couldn’t escape from however hard he tried. He’s stuck in forever darkness that seems to consume him whole, eating away at his heart.
The pain is unbearable; it brings forth a few tears from his eyes. They feel like acid against his skin, and he wishes to be free from the pain of his insecurities. His hair flops in front of him, and one could assume that he uses it like a mask, hiding himself away until only a shell remains.
Kai doesn’t like looking in the mirror – he has known that from the moment such dark weather clouded his sight. And so, his reflection is slashed, covered in blood he has never asked for. It’s quite horrible when it's about himself. Then it gets worse when it extends to his bandmates – his platonic soulmates.
And finally, when his wobbly thoughts traverse your way, his stomach aches, and his heart falls apart into puzzle pieces that cannot fit. He greatly wonders how you can even put up with him and his miserable attire. Kai thinks that he’s tired of himself – but why aren’t you? As a solution to his problems, he has holed himself in his room, but you have a different answer to his questions.
You give three swift knocks on the door, each loud and firm, before you unlock the door and enter. Kai doesn’t dare to look you in the eye, but he feels your glowing stare on him. He doesn’t know what to do but weakly rejects your advance.
“Just… just leave me alone,” he says.
You don’t respond. He tries again. “(Y/n), seriously! Please!”
This time, your strides stop. And nothing more. Kai questions if you’ve melted to the ground, but alas, you have not when you sigh and exclaim.
“I would, but our son misses you!” Pause. What? Kai shoots his head up, in a query that shoots confusion down his spine. Yet he feels that tinge of a chuckle in the back of his throat. How do you do that to him so easily? When he stares up at you, your hands are behind your back, and you’re pouting. He decides to ask his question.
“What are you talking about…?”
You grin at him and swing your arms forward to reveal a tiny penguin plushie. “Our son, of course! Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about him?!” Kai shakes his head. “No, of course not.”
This 'son' of his was actually a prize that was won from an arcade game. You’ve officially adopted him ever since. “Well… he told me that he really misses you.”
You take a step forward and lean down towards him. Your eyes observe his face, and they take in the expanse of his beauty. He wishes to cower away, but you don’t let him as you take your son’s tiny flappy fins and put it on your boyfriend’s face.
“We hate seeing you cry, my pretty boy,” you say as you wipe away his tears with the soft fabric. They soothe his burns. At last, you put the plushie away next to him and lean a little closer, just where his heartbeat resides on his neck. It beats with yours.
“I love you.” You kiss his heart.
Huening Kai thinks that you’ve just mended his puzzle-piece heart into such a beautiful picture of his irrevocable love for you – bigger and more stunning than any masterpiece created on this cruel earth. And you deserve much more.
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spacingstars · 2 days
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Technically these thoughts were inspired by @battlekilt's response to this post I just needed a space to luxuriate in the sauce of my own thoughts lol.
Generally, there are two points to my stream of thoughts here:
One, the personal element of Rex knowing about Anakin and Padme’s marriage.
Two, the professional element of Rex knowing about Anakin and Padme’s marriage.
I’ll first get into the weeds of point one:
By and large, Star Wars canon does not go into overt detail on exactly how it was that Rex found out about Anakin's marriage; how this occurred tends to be a matter of conjecture more often than not—usually pitted down to a matter of accident. Either comically or more seriously. I don't bring this up to disparage this take. I, in fact, held to it myself upon my first watch of TCW! But I've since reevaluated that position and have come to a completely different conclusion altogether:
Anakin told Rex intentionally.
My reasoning for this is down to a number of things, particularly due to the series of TCW novels that were written to tie into the first few seasons of TCW. The one I am primarily discussing here is Star Wars: No Prisoners, and shoving aside any other opinions that I have on this book, it holds some specific moments from Anakin about Rex that really validated the change in thought process I had the more I analyzed Anakin and Rex’s relationship.
Generally, I had before assumed it was a matter of accident (in past scenarios, I most often thought of the confession coming about from a moment where the prospect of survival was not the most cheery of outlooks); the reason as to why I held such a thought process is because Anakin’s marriage is generally his most guarded secret, he was unwilling to tell anybody about it, and in such a context, it becomes easy to assume that Rex finding out was a fluke, nothing more.
However, the more I started to really pick at Anakin and Rex’s relationship, the more I started to think it would be a lot more interesting if Anakin intentionally told Rex about the marriage.
In the past, I came about this mainly from the idea that part of what makes Anakin & Rex so interesting to me is the two-way loyalty that stretches between them, the way Rex occupies a unique space in the list of Anakin’s relationships. TCW itself frequently speaks of the trust they have in each other, to the extent other characters (like Padme herself, seen in TCW S07:E02, during the holocall scene between her and Anakin, and in No Prisoners itself) notice it. And with that in mind, I thought, more and more, it made more sense to me that Anakin had told Rex intentionally. It’s clear, given moments in the ROTS novelization, that Anakin didn’t want to shun this aspect of his life into secrecy:
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from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
(This is not the only instance of Anakin expressing a desire to leave the Order in the ROTS novelization; his behaviors in ROTS itself are also indicative of this desire to me (his lack of care about getting caught with Padme in the moment she reveals her pregnancy,) and his quote of “I understand wanting to walk away from the Order,” when Ahsoka walks away from the Order during the Wrong Jedi arc. Which, if you want a short explanation for why I think Anakin stayed despite expressing multiple times a desire to leave, there are many little pieces and layers to it, but the primary conclusion I’ve come to is that Anakin stayed out of a sense of duty, particularly related to ending the war. But that’s not what this post is about.)
This leads me to believe that Anakin wanted to confide in someone—wanted someone who he could trust to share this part of him, and given the loyalty and trust he holds in Rex—and I’d also wager it’s down to Rex’s demeanor—it was easier for Anakin to tell Rex than anybody else. Of course, this was all my own conjecture! This was just me taking bits and pieces of what we have of these characters and their circumstances and affixing them into a different configuration to explain something that wasn’t elaborated on in canon.
Of course, or so I thought, because Star Wars: No Prisoners has quite the interesting scenes, scenes that do elaborate upon this.
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from Star Wars: No Prisoners
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also from Star Wars: No Prisoners
It’s so fascinating to me that Anakin thinks Rex is someone he owes it to tell, and doesn’t that just speak of how highly Anakin regards Rex? He’s able to think that Rex deserves to know, and not just that, but that Anakin thinks Rex would understand. Anakin describing Rex as not just professionally loyal but personally loyal is a sentiment that really strikes to the core of why I think Anakin was comfortable enough to tell Rex; because ultimately, Rex has not just given him his professional loyalty, the loyalty expected of a soldier, but he's also given the loyalty of his friendship. I really don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the feeling is mutual between them. The way Rex speaks of Anakin in Star Wars: Rebels is so damn fond. I really do think Anakin told Rex, intentionally, not just for the professional aspect of it, which I will get into shortly, but because Anakin wanted to have someone he could trust and confide in; Anakin has trust and faith in Rex, the same as Rex has trust and faith in Anakin.
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from Star Wars: Age of Republic short story "501 Plus One"
And, returning to the discussion surrounding the screenshots from No Prisoners, obviously, there’s even more there, what with Anakin thinking about how he can’t just leave his men to suffer (it shows consistency in his character, in regards to the loyalty he shows his men because his thoughts here reflect those in the Umbara arc, where he refused to leave, even on orders from Palpatine, until Rex reassured him he could handle it. Which is just... it drives me batty, but my thoughts on that moment from Umbara are not strictly relevant to this post.) And part of that conniption is born out of the loss of his mother! Because he faults himself for being unable to save her, and now he's left with an all-consuming desire to ensure no one under his care dies, which, of course, will inevitably lead to Anakin being consumed by his own conniptions about death itself through his visions of Padme dying in ROTS. (I love how many layers I can peel back and examine from this one moment.)
I also have to emphasize that the biggest thing is that Anakin didn’t even tell Palpatine about his marriage. Palpatine, Palpatine, someone who had been a confidant for Anakin for so long, Palpatine, more than anyone, most certainly knows the most about Anakin; he’s the only one who truly understood how Anakin ticked, and he used that knowledge to disastrous effect.
Which to me, just reinforces how incredible it is that Anakin felt comfortable enough with Rex to tell him about his marriage.
Now, No Prisoners doesn’t actually contain a scene where Anakin tells Rex, but given his thoughts it’s very likely Rex was told shortly after the events of the book.
Now, for point 2:
Which is that, in essence, when Anakin remarks that Rex needs to know about this secret so he can freely contact him or otherwise know about the whereabouts of his location in case they get orders and Anakin, along with the 501st, need to be shipped out effective immediately.
This is a readiness issue.
Readiness is the ability of a military force to engage in assigned tasks and/or missions upon orders.
Anakin being upfront about his marriage to Rex on this principle is most certainly going to get Rex in agreement* because Rex would be aware of the logistical importance of maintaining readiness. Anakin and Rex are on the same page here because, ultimately, no one else is going to better understand these aspects of the continued function of an armed force than a clone; they're clone soldiers.
*Which, additionally, regarding the argument that Rex ends up in a precarious situation for knowing about Anakin and Padme’s marriage, upon further examination of this, I do not think this holds water either. I say this primarily because, ultimately, Anakin, in being married to Padme, has not broken any of the GAR’s regulations. The issue of Anakin’s marriage is of concern to the Jedi, not the GAR. And Rex is not beholden to the Jedi’s religious doctrine; Anakin is, and unless you want to argue that the Order would crack down on Rex in retribution for aiding one of its members in hiding a marriage that’s expressly against their rules… nothing would happen to Rex because ultimately the issue of Anakin and Padme’s marriage is only an issue with regards to, primarily, the Jedi Order, which is not an authority that Rex is behold to; Rex is beholden to the GAR, and, as I said, Anakin being married is not breaking any regulations I can think of… I also find it hard to believe that the GAR would be pressed about a secret marriage when much of their natborn soldier base is also likely to be married. In fact, given my previous comments about readiness, the GAR is likely to take Rex’s stance on the matter.
Rex and Anakin are on the same page regarding the issue of his marriage for both the personal reasons of it and the professional.
And, to address Rex's awkwardness about covering for Anakin in TCW S07:E02:
Rex's awkwardness about having to cover for Anakin and Padme in TCW S07:E02 is presented more as a moment of humor juxtaposed against the earnest conversation between Anakin and Padme as they discuss Anakin and Rex's relationship; it's meant to be a funny-sweet moment regarding the relationship between them. This entire moment is meant to show the familiarity Anakin and Rex have with each other, to the point they have a system worked out between each other when Rex needs to cover for Anakin, which I should also say the fact that Rex is willing to lend his gear** to Anakin for this cover story is something I consider to be a big display of trust, it's very much a classic "friend covers friend," kind of moment.
**That helmet is important to Rex's identity. It is, in effect, his face; it is a custom helmet, donning his signature jaig eyes; it is what most people are going to think when they hear Captain Rex; it is, effectively, Rex trusting Anakin enough to hand over a vital part of his identity.
Everything about this moment screams familiarity to me in the way Anakin and Rex conduct themselves with each other; I find it quite telling that Rex is comfortable enough to tell Anakin they don't have time for what Anakin is suggesting they do in front of the bad batch. Rex is essentially saying no to something that can read as an order from his commanding officer to other clones. The fact that Rex is comfortable enough with Anakin to do so is massive, and as I've said before it shows the familiarity and comfort the two have with each other in their personal relationship. When Anakin first implores Rex to provide cover; Rex's insistence on them not having time for that—to me—less indicates that Rex doesn't like covering for Anakin, but more so that Rex is fixated on the mission because he just got a glimmer of hope that Echo is still alive.
It should also be said, Rex is simply awkward; it's just a facet of his personality. He's an awkward dork in armor.
With all that said, to paraphrase a quote from the post that started this ramble, Rex was one of Anakin’s best friends. (And I personally think that the feeling is mutual given the numerous times Rex has expressed similar sentiments towards Anakin.) :3c
It should also be said that much of this post was made much more coherent thanks to @battlekilt, who was also a great help in fleshing out much of these thoughts, especially those pertaining to Anakin and Rex's interactions in TCW S07:E02.
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cemeterything · 2 hours
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This isn't a gotcha, so please don't take it as such, but would yuou be willing to explain what it is about VAL that makes her such a favourite of yours? I can't stand her myself, she comes across to me as a bully given god-like power that she abuses for her own amusement, and I've seen you acknowledge as much, but we draw completely different conclusions from that. I just want to understand your perspective.
i've been anticipating a question like this for a while now, so i'm more than happy to answer for you!
you're right, VAL is in some ways a "bully given godlike power" as you put it, and there's no avoiding that (nor do i want to). and yeah, i do like her in part because of that, because i have a fondness for horrible fictional characters and in particular "bad victim" archetypes, of which VAL certainly is one. but i think what makes her compelling to me, rather than repulsive, is that she is fundamentally a cautionary tale and a tragedy. in-universe, she's the scapegoat. the example. the "make the right choices or this could be you". she's inescapably, heartbreakingly human in her awfulness, and that makes her terrifying, but it also makes her deeply sad (at least to me).
i also strongly believe in rehabilitative/restorative justice, so for me, wanting better for VAL is about my real-world principles to a degree. i can't and won't argue that VAL doesn't function as an uncomfortable allusion to a lot of atrocious crimes against humanity (by humanity) within the narative, and that anyone who finds her upsetting or even hateful for these reasons is absolutely justified in doing so. however, she's still a fantasy entity at the end of the day. she's not a 1:1 stand-in for real-world abuses any more than, say, a vampire or werewolf, which plenty of people are more than happy to explore the nuances of. and there's also the question of what punitive measures would even achieve in her case, beyond personal satisfaction for the one administering or spectating them (which is not to say that wanting to punch VAL makes you as bad as she is, just that her arc is, among other things, about how cycles of abuse and violence perpetuate). the worst that could possibly happen to her has already happened. she's been tortured. she's been taken advantage of for her mistaken belief that working for and with the system has the opportunity to benefit her, and died for it. there's nothing to be "learned" from her punishment that hasn't already been shown to us. that she hasn't already internalised. if she were ever to develop a stable conscience, that would be punishment enough in my opinion.
despite being a victim of people not entirely unlike VAL, i personally am not her victim, so treating her with sympathy and kindness whilst acknowledging the elephant in the room that is her many (fictional) war crimes is not something that requires any cognitive dissonance on my behalf. i would cautiously argue that the narrative agrees with me somewhat in this regard - the few times VAL is treated to a genuine act of kindness with no ulterior motives, it shatters her composure and outward conviction that what she's doing is necessary for her personal satisfaction, and even prompts her to reconsider on occasion (sparing the woodsman comes to mind). i'm not saying anyone needs to hug her and tell her she's valid, but if all it takes is some genuine good intent to get her to engage in introspection, i'm willing to be the person to offer it.
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myobsessionsspace · 3 days
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Fun ask: Do you like unconfirmed but possible JiKook thoughts? So JK did GCF-T and used the song There For You - "But you gotta be there for me too" ending line. For 2019 summer, JM on vacation with friends, returned for JKs b'day, etc. JM made a travel vlog for that trip, using the song Come Thru - "Can you come thru?" ending line. (It always stood out to me as an odd choice for a travel vlog.) Soon after, JK began getting the tattoos that included the infamous "J M". Was that JKs answer to JMs question? Aside: the Vlog video concept reminds me of Closer Than This video theme. JMs Vlog -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl3QLdm2uts
Hello Lovely,
Ooohhh you’ve asked THE question. Where do I stand with unconfirmed but possible Jikook thoughts or how I’d probably see it ‘Jikooker Theories’ & ‘Jikooker Delulu’ (said lovingly)?
TL;DR - I’m the worst with this. Honestly my jikooker friends get so frustrated when they delulu and then they’re like…Em?? How about you?? And I’m like…
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The main reason I’m so enraptured by Jikook and everything around their bond is because I really don’t need to be into unconfirmed but possible thoughts.
Credit: factkm
You don’t need to squint to spot their unique duo in the midst of anything or anyone else. I don’t even need to put my glasses on to look at them and see that they’re different.
That’s what I like so much about them, they radiate in their actions and words how they feel about each other and how close and unique their bond is, whatever it is it’s closer than close and it’s the two of theirs.
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Don’t get me wrong I find it fun delving into Jikook theories. I’m blown away by the intelligent minds that can spot certain connections and patterns. I’m only human too, so I’m a nosy cow. I eat it all up, their off schedule sightings and 1:23 theories etc. I studied psychology and am a lover of love, so of course I’m interested in getting as much information to draw conclusions and all that jazz.
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One of many Jikook Icebergs. I love me some Jikook theories but…I above all love Jikook period.
But to me even if all the theories and unconfirmed thoughts of others are stripped away, Jikook give me enough to not need any of that.
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It’s a funny balance, taking in others unconfirmed Jikook thoughts. Reading what people say, people thousand of miles away from Jikook, from different upbringings, backgrounds, careers, cultures, ages, genders. People who’ve never met Jikook on a personal level or been apart of Jikook’s inner most circle and not letting it become fact to you, taking their thoughts and opinions as gospel.
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Jungkook is me sometimes when trying to get into Jikooker number theories 😩
I love all types of jikooker accounts, art ones, writer ones, historian ones, spicy ones, super investigative ones etc. I’m still figuring out myself how deep into unconfirmed jikooker thoughts I’D share.
I’d love the asks to help me discover what I would be able to answer. **SO ASK AWAY💜** and let’s see how that goes. It’d all be my opinion and my opinion only though.
If it’s not something plainly my opinion, I prefer to stand by everything being backed up by evidence from Jikook and those closest to them, like the members. If it isn’t a verified interview, from original content that can be referenced, from their vlives/weverse lives, sns etc I’m not too keen 😬
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VS
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Very easily, unconfirmed thoughts can become fact in subsections of fandoms like shipping fandoms, solo fandoms etc. So I like to make sure I can find the first source from when/where/who it started from.
So in conclusion,
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I love the fun of it all, the unconfirmed Jikook thoughts, the theories, the sleuthing and delulu.
I do try with my #Tin Foil Hat: Jikook (I’ll tag it so you can take a look if interested) but it’d maybe take asks that make me go for it in more depth?
But ultimately if it’s not from Jikook’s words, their overt and also their not so subtle displays and actions OR if it’s not from those confirmed as closest to them…then to me it’s nothing more than light entertainment that starts and ends there. Nothing that will shape how I view Jikook.
Thank you for you ask!
💜
P.S I think ‘Letter’ is Jimin’s GCF Tokyo/GCF Saipan and ‘Closer Than This’ is the fan song for the collective of BTS fans known as ARMY, cos you know, Jungkook is Jimin’s fan too!
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castiwls · 18 hours
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tolerate it pt2 - d.w
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Paring; dean x reader
Prompt;
Requested; anon
Notes;highly requested sorry its taken so long.
Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist
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In the days since Dean had left, you’d spent most of your time thinking. You’d gone over and over your conversation with Dean until you were pretty sure you’d analysed every single word a few times over.
You’d come to the conclusion that upon Dean’s return, he was gonna have a choice to make. It killed you inside to even think in this way but you knew something had to be done. Living life locked away in a bunker was nothing you’d imagined, nor wanted. Before the bunker your life had been filled with long car rides and late-night conversations whispered under the covers of old motel rooms.
You’d never bothered much about Dean’s protectiveness back then because you’d still had the freedom of exploring new towns and finding small hidden treasures. You’d loved the whirlwind of moving from town to town. State to state. Until it had stopped. Until you’d found yourself trapped in a metal prison.
By no means were you kept here forcefully. You could leave at any point but you didn’t want to. Walking around the same town on your own was only entertaining for a certain amount of time before it grew repetitive. While before Dean used to join you as you’d both explore the new towns, now he barely left the bunker unless he was hunting.
Even when he was here he’d always have a reason to stay behind while you adventured out for supplies. 
Which is what brought you to now. What brought you to sit on your bed, a duffle bag in hand as you slowly worked up the courage to begin the task of packing. It almost broke your heart in two reaching from the draw and slowly opening it. Pulling out the first piece of clothing felt like you were poking small holes in your heart.
You loved Dean, you truly did but you couldn’t live like this any longer. 
“What are you doing?” You jumped slightly at the voice, dropping the top you’d been holding. “Your back.” You quickly picked up the top before turning to face Dean who stood staring at you. His eyes darted between the bag and your open draw before back to you. A small look of fear crossed his face for a moment before quickly disappearing. You were leaving?!
“Sweetheart.” He slowly began walking towards you, his arms reaching out to grasp your own. “What are you doing?” He repeated.
“Giving you a choice.” You responded simply, keeping your expression calm. “You let me come with you every so often, or I leave. For good.” 
Dean faltered for a moment. His grip on your arms tightens. “You..you can’t leave. Sweetheart why would you…no.” He shook his head as his mind raced a mile a minute. “I can’t keep doing this.” A small frown pulled on your lips as you softened your gaze. “It’s not fair on me. I feel useless here Dean! You never let me help anymore!” 
“I’m trying to keep you safe! Why can’t you see that.” He threw his arms up turning his back to you before running a hand through his hair. “You being here is the safest place you can be.”
You shook your head. “What’s the point of this relationship if you're never here and I'm constantly sitting here doing nothing? I spend my time worrying that one day Sam will walk through that door and you won’t be with him!” Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes as you tried to reason with him. “I can’t keep doing this Dean.” You pressed a hand to your mouth taking in a deep breath to calm yourself. 
“Either start letting me help or I’m leaving.”
You held your breath, feeling your heart beat faster in your chest as he stayed silent before turning back to face you. His heart beat in his ears as he considered his options for a moment. Losing you would break him, but seeing you in harm's way would also break him.
He felt stuck between a rock and a hard place as he stared at you. Taking his silence as an answer you nodded, pushing the tears back. “Fine.” You turned back to the draw beginning to throw things into your bag. 
The feel of arms wrapping around your waist stalled you slightly. “Stay, please. I can’t lose you.” His lips pressed against the side of your head before he nuzzled his face against your neck. “We can compromise. I’ll teach you how to hunt but on my terms.” He turned you in his arms allowing you both to come face to face. 
“I'm so sorry.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips before repeating himself. “We can fix this. I promise.” You nodded slightly. It was a start. Him even considered the idea of training you was a step up from before.
“You better keep that promise.” You nodded towards the bag. “Or I really will leave, I swear.” Dean nodded before pulling you impossibly closer, his hand caressing the back of your head.
“I promise.”
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hermannsthumb · 12 hours
Note
Please please please more "Fake Dating for Funding"! I haven't read much PR stuff in the last few years and your newest piece jerked me right back to that old standby hyperfixation. It's so cute!!
answering this sooooo late, OOPS SORRY, but here's a little ficlet as i try to get myself back in the writing groove.... the original fake dating for funding fic is right here, but i was thinking over plot concepts earlier and this one made me laugh, LMAO
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"I have a favor to ask of you," Hermann says one morning.
Typical of Hermann, it's blunt and to the point, no show of bartering or sweetening Newt up with dessert or anything like that. In theory Newt should be annoyed, but Hermann indebts himself to Newt so rarely (and never willingly) that Newt’s actually kind of interested to see where this goes. He pushes up his work goggles and strips off his gloves without a second thought.
Hermann is standing directly over Newt’s side of the yellow line, one hand balled into a fist while the other white-knuckles his cane, his shoulders hunched over. He looks extremely uncomfortable. On the other hand Hermann rarely looks comfortable, so this isn’t anything new, or something to draw immediate conclusions from.
“Okay,” Newt says. “Lay it on me.”
“I would not blame you if you found yourself thinking less of me,” Hermann says, “or outright rejecting the proposition. I’m aware it is far more than one typically asks of a…” He swallows. “Colleague.”
The word hangs awkwardly in the air between them. It’s not that it’s an inaccurate descriptor, but it doesn’t completely encompass the, uh, reality of things, being that they were a litttttle more than colleagues up until two months ago. (Not that they called themselves anything other than colleagues for the duration of that whole—indiscretion. It was a little confusing.)
Still, Hermann’s groveling, and Newt’s interested. “Oh, sweet,” he says, maybe a little too casually. Just two bros having a normal conversation about how they're nothing more than colleagues. “I’m totally in. What are we doing? Is it illegal or something?”
He could actually use Hermann’s mad computer hacker skills for something in the near future—Newt wants unrestricted card access to the typically very restricted hazardous materials storage in the jaeger bay for reasons he’s not going to disclose—and doing something illegal for the guy would be a great way to get him to do something illegal for Newt in return. In a favor-for-favor way more than a blackmail way, because Newt mostly isn't a dick. And anyway, maybe doing some platonic fun k-science bonding time will be good for them. Make things a little less tense. Newt’s been working on that really hard lately, mostly because his multiple Shatterdome transfer requests have been outright denied by the Marshal and he seems to be out of alternatives.
“No,” Hermann says.
He looks at his shoes. He’s about two unlucky inches away from stepping on a piece of kaiju spleen Newt dropped earlier and forgot about, and the fact that he’s not taking any precautions to shield his precious ugly wingtips tells Newt he means business. “Perhaps a little…morally questionable.”
“Oooh, Hermann, you’re such a tease,” Newt says. He tosses his nasty gloves in the trash can and scoots Hermann towards the cluster of their desks with a hand to the small of his back, ignoring the way Hermann bristles and digs the end of his cane halfheartedly into the floor. “Come on, come on, I’ll make coffee, stop looking so depressed.”
He does make himself a coffee but brews a quick cup of black tea for Hermann, which turns out to be kind of a waste of his time, since Hermann blatantly ignores the mug Newt slides in front of him. He’s gone from looking like the most emo librarian in the world to looking vaguely nauseous. If circumstances weren’t as they are, Newt might say it was making him look exceptionally alluring—that whole sickly Victorian lad thing really gets him going. “If you’ve forgotten,” Hermann says, “we’ve another of those foolish PPDC fundraisers soon, at the end of the month.”
“Oh.” Newt leans back in his chair, a little disappointed. “Is that it?”
“Yes,” Hermann says. “No.” He shakes his head gravely. He’s so dramatic sometimes, it’s kinda cute. “It is the root of the problem, but not the entirety of it. You’ll recall, I presume, how badly in need of funding we are, myself in particular for the Breach-mapping software I am attempting to develop.”
Newt does recall, because yeah, he is also in need of funding real bad. Can’t make awesome, ground-breaking advancements in the field of kaiju biology without any kaiju bits to study the biology of. That spleen currently threatening to ooze over the yellow tape line represents approximately sixty percent of Newt's remaining currently viable samples. “Uh, yeah?”
“I have,” Hermann makes a face, “a working theory, so to speak. You’ll further recall the similar PPDC event we attended in August of last year?”
“Yeah?”
“And the one we attended this year, in the week following our—”
“Yeah, Hermann, I remember.”
“Right,” Hermann says.
Newt remembers the second one more clearly than he likes, because having to make nice with Hermann to present a united front six days after a very, very stupid argument about Newt maaaaybe stealing half of Hermann’s sandwich—which ultimately led to a mutual and spur of the moment decision to dissolve the whole weird lab partners-with-benefits thing they had going on—was one of the more uncomfortable experiences of his career. Still, he made as nice as he could, because his supply of work gloves and Keurig pods were running dangerously low and he didn’t feel like shelling out the money from his own abysmally small paycheck for any.
He doesn’t know what was so significant about the other one they went to though, the one last August. It was humid. Newt remembers being so hot he had to take off his tie, and he lost it somewhere in the convention center afterwards. He misses that tie. Hermann hated it, which makes him culprit number one in its disappearance.
“We drew in significantly more donations in August than we did two months ago,” Hermann says, and opens the top drawer of his desk to produce a neat stack of papers, which he spreads in front of Newt to reveal a series of color-coded spreadsheets.
Newt’s eyes glaze over a little at the sight. He doesn’t bother extending the effort to confirm Hermann’s data—as much as he hates to admit it, the guy is thorough with his numbers and rarely wrong about stuff like this. He flips through it anyway to appease him. And, honestly, he thinks Hermann’s feelings would be hurt if he didn’t, and Newt really is committed to being a good labmate (y’know, for the very brief time being). “And prior to August,” Hermann continues, “you’ll note that the average sum total of donations we received per event was significantly lower. August was an anomaly.”
“Sure,” Newt says. “So what?”
Hermann slides the spreadsheet back into his desk, pulls his dorky glasses off, and exhales slowly: he’s getting to the point. Newt has a hunch what that point might be, but Hermann always looks funny when he gets into lecture mode, and Newt doesn’t want to interrupt it.
“I believe,” Hermann says, “that our—relationship status, which was significantly different on that occasion as compared to the rest—might possibly have had no small influence, for one reason or another. We certainly behaved more, er, affectionately, or tenderly around each other, and perhaps others took note and found it charming. Or some such thing. Of course I can't draw any conclusions from a single point of data, but I believe if we were to... Well, it's a bit silly, hearing myself now.”
“You want me to be your fake b-f so we can trick people into giving a shit about us and shake them down easier,” Newt says.
The tips of Hermann’s generous ears go red. “I’m aware it’s an unusual request,” he says, “especially considering… recent certain developments in our working relationship.”
It’s not exactly the fun platonic bonding time Newt anticipated, but he has a hunch Hermann might be on to something—the whole doomed romance, give us money so our love has a fighting chance of surviving the apocalypse thing, which they were apparently already inadvertently playing up. He’s willing to give it a shot. Making a joke out of it might actually help Newt let go of his last lingering nostalgia for that super brief period of time he and Hermann got up to after-hours hijinks and were almost amicable with each other. And, you know, on the other hand, if that doesn’t work, he could totally do the opposite of moving on and revel in the opportunity to do couple-y tender things with Hermann again.
“Yeah, sure,” Newt says. Real chill about it. He’s so chill, man.
Hermann blinks at him owlishly, clearly taken aback, but says nothing.
“It’ll be fun,” Newt adds. “It’s a good plan, great idea, it’ll totally work. Nothing has to be weird, right? I mean, it’s not like we were really even dating before or anything. There’s no reason for it to be weird. It’s definitely not for me. Is it for you?”
“No, er, of course not,” Hermann says. “It was my idea, wasn’t it?”
They’re totally over each other, but they can also totally pretend they’re not for a night or two, no sweat. “Cool,” Newt says, and repeats, maybe to convince himself, “It’ll be fun. We can dress up all fancy and wear matching ties or something and talk about how tragic we are. I’ll grab your ass in front of people and you can brag about how cool and smart and sexy I am.”
“You are not doing that,” Hermann says, “and I am not doing that. When have I ever—oh, nevermind. I am not averse to the neckties, however, especially if it means you’re at least attempting to look somewhat professional for our prospective—”
“Dude, come on, you totally just think I look hot in a suit.”
The splotchy red flush spreads from Hermann’s ears to his neck as he scowls at Newt. He doesn’t bother denying it: Newt’s sure they both vividly remember the most recent annual k-science research symposium when Newt finally let himself be talked into renting a fancy blazer, to look, uh, like the expert in your field you are, Newton, and Hermann had such a hard time keeping his hands off Newt in increasingly unchaste ways that they had to duck out early. I like when you look put-together and competent, Hermann said, or something along those lines, there was a lot of kissing going on and Newt wasn’t exactly paying attention to specifics. He ended up losing the deposit on the suit—which is why he stole the sandwich in the first place, actually. Very petty revenge. Full circle.
“Piss off,” Hermann grumbles.
“We’re gonna have to put in for just one hotel room if we wanna sell it, you know,” Newt says, the realization suddenly hitting him. “Maybe even one bed. It’ll look totally suspicious if we don’t, right?”
Hermann meets his eyes for a few awkward, quiet seconds, and then they both quickly look away from each other. Newt stands up and makes a show of gathering their untouched mugs, both of which have gone extremely cold. Hermann slips his glasses back on and opens up his desk drawer to shuffle through his immaculate spreadsheets again, pretending to look for errors that they both know aren't there.
“We’ve,” Hermann finally says, and then clears his throat. “We’ve survived worse. I'm sure we can manage. It’s only for two nights, after all.”
“Yeah, totally,” Newt says.
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fintan-pyren · 3 months
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anyone else getting nervous about the lack of info about the book 10 title?
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primus-why · 1 year
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I really love the headcanon that, to tfa warbuilds, challenging an authority figure can also be seen as flirting.
I especially love to imagine Optimus' crew having to temporarily team up with Megatron to take down a threat, and as the leaders continue to butt heads over tactics/protocol, all the 'Bots are like "omg so scary poor Optimus 😣" while the 'Cons are like "omg get a room already 🙄"
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liverpool-enjoyer · 3 months
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.
#for the first time im genuinely considering changing my major#n by considering i mean 'rlly want to but know deep down i cant'#cause like... i have NO IDEA what else i would do#like not a damn clue#so its either my current career path (which i have reason to believe im genuinely not cut out for) or... idk nothing???#well i'd hafta do something#but idk what#its jus that after a LOT of thought ive come to the conclusion that me being a nurse will do so much more harm than good for other ppl#i made the most careless mistake last week that cost me a rlly valuable clinical experience at a SUPER reputable hospital#im the only one in my class who made that mistake#the only one stupid enough#like... gosh what am i DOING here?#im literally the least qualified person to be a nurse#im cold#im standoffish#i HATE being around people#when i told my friends n family i was going to nursing school they were shocked n WHY SHOULDNT THEY HAVE BEEN?#when you think of a nurse you think a someone whos kind. whos reliable. whos hardworking... im not any a those things#n its not even me being self depracating its an honest to gosh fact#oh also my grades fuckin suck lmao#like i literally know for a fact i got lower grades than every single other nursing major last semester#plus i was never going into nursing to help ppl#i went into it so i could sleep at night knowing ive done a 'good thing'#so yeah#ive put myself on a career path im not in any way cut out for#n i cant quit cause i have literally no plan b!!!#yay#idk what i was made for but its not this
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potabo · 6 months
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If there is magic in the light world, I will eat my hat
And here's why:
We've already seen a world with magic, so every difference between worlds is important:
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toriel's stove
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the books on magic in the librarby- note that in deltarune it's a book of magic *tricks* that require *floating hands*
this also comes with a more profound understanding of the soul than we have in deltarune...
2. The Direct Evidence
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Note that Susie and Noelle here are listing the ways in which the dark world is DIFFERENT than the light world, also following on that last line...
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sorry I got something in my eye
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note again, that magic is referenced in terms of tricks- sleight of hand- only further emphasized by the name "jongle" a portmanteau of the words "juggle" and... something else (this carries over in JP)
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now this one is slightly more esoteric, but bear with me-
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the mere fact of a bathroom and the lack of healing the hot chocolate provides means that the food, quite simply, is not magic like it is in UT- it is decidedly mundane
LAST AND VERY IMPORTANT POINT:
DETERMINATION =/= MAGIC
THE ABILITY TO SAVE AND LOAD IS NOT, BY LORE, MAGIC
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THE ABILITY TO CREATE DARK FOUNTAINS IS NOT, BY LORE, MAGIC
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3. The Counterarguments
This first one is easy to move past, and a fairly weak argument overall, but it involves, in particular, catti:
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pretty suspect right? until you consider the surrounding dialogue
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She's an edgy goth teen- this is in reference to her family being loud.
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again pretty convincing right? not really no:
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"studying the occult" from a goth teen is about as reliable as it sounds- and on the same level as the party tricks from earlier.
the second counterpoint is something along the lines of "but what about noelle and snowgrave"
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to which the obvious answer is: we already know one line of spells from the "Dragon Blazers" games, it isnt much of a stretch for snowgrave be the metaphorical firaga to flare of final fantasy
Another relatively tame explanation could be that our monster allies simply *know* spells upon entering the Dark World (Susie with Rude Buster, Berdly with his Tornado) and snowgrave is either something she acquired through the route (Like susie with ultimate heal) and REALLY doesn't want to use, or a spell she simply actually doesn't know.
The other two counterpoints however, are harder to dismiss, and they have specifically to do with monster biology
Monster Funerals, technically speaking
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While not directly stated in game, its a fairly reasonable assumption to make that the reason monsters turn to dust when they die is their lack of physical matter. Where this becomes relevant is through Father Alvin's infamous line about "this hammer" which implies that the burial tradition (and thus the physicality) remains constant between the two games. This would imply that, in-spite of the food and bathrooms, monsters are still made mostly of magic (further obscured by the lack of confirmation on monster blood we have)
2. Blookster
Let's assume for a second that monsters are physical. That they are confirmed to have blood and dont turn into dust and all that comes with it. Then what about Ghosts?
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hmm.
(many images stolen from @nochocolate )
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k1rishiki · 3 months
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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soft-serve-soymilk · 21 days
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Gaslighting? In MY household? It’s more likely than you think
#sad pav hours#<- ‘tis my new vent tag. filter as needed#just pav things#I have experienced so many levels of Confusion today#I mean most of it just boils down to my dad being a dick for no good reason#what do I even do to him????? I yet again ask him this and he’s like#‘I live with you’. My mere existence causes him misery apparently#He says that I’m unlikeable. I say that people generally enjoy my whimsical disposition or just don’t care and ignore me#or in the case of [redacted] try to pacify me in neurotypical ways that only ended up hurting when I found out#instead of communicating that she didn’t want to be friends. Actually that was what my first vent post on here in 2021 was about#and very ironically it was the reason me and Dolphin became friends (random skribbl game my beloved ^^)#But I digress#Also I’ve already accounted for the fact of my future bosses probably disliking me and some people out there just by virtue of being human#but i’d like to believe I’m generally likeable??? I have so much evidence to prove this that the put-down just ends up confusing#Also the amount of name-calling is insane once you stop filtering it out#I can just casually be called stupid. again without any reason#and then people wonder why I have such low self-esteem sometimes#I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the family scapegoat. I live with 3 blood relatives who hate me.#Also ffs I’M NOT A FREELOADER!!!! STOP sAYING THAT#I understand the real world will be brutal I see the real effects of the cost-of-living crisis every day#I’m prepared to live frugally to survive so stop saying i will be shook 😭 i’m fuckign ready to leave as soon as I have enough savings#and a place to stay. I’m done here. Except for the dogs I will always love and miss them 😭😭😭
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girl6000 · 4 months
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i just saved u guys from reading the most tmi post in the world u dont know how good uve got it with me
#p#and i was just saying shit for the sake of talking but anyway#and u know what as im typing this!! i will not be censored here goes#i was talking about how i realized im bi a few months ago when i went my entire teenage life thinking i was a lesbian#but now recently and by recently i mean since june/july#ive come to the conclusion that actually the reason i even believed to not be attracted to men was bc i went on birth control at 13#and at 13 i was still kinda on the fence of if i would ever like men or not. but bc of hormonal developments that are influenced by bc#i feel like i never actually developed any sort of teenie desire to explore sexuality which would probably have been healthy#and so i decided that i probably liked girls only bc i never had a crush on anyone or liked anyone but i did know that i enjoyed spending#time with girl friends and i guess bc they were m#my friend group nd i felt safe with them i could then develop crushes on them#and i never had any guy friends to do that with and since any kind of hormonal teenie sexuality developments were stunted it never occured#to me that i could like guys too#and what im getting to is that since i got off birth control this year i started finding random people attractive#and feeling like i actually would like to have a relationship or whatever#but i could be overanalyzing and be completely wrong about this#anyway so i guess ur not being spared but at least its in the tags now#if ur still reading this i have feelings for you#and actually i do believe going off bc was the best thing i could have done my depression has halved and i have close to no migraine attacks#i feel better in every way and im so so glad i dont have to take it anymore#if u think about it its kinda fucked up that they put children on that shit for the crime of havin acne
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dkettchen · 1 year
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not me adding literal buddhist monk shaolin masters to my very short list of ppl I’ve ever strongly related to the philosophy/mentality/approach to life of oh boy
#anthony padilla#buddhist monks#philosophy#trans#Idk what this says abt me for any of you who don't know me that well yet lmao#but it is fascinating to me at least that between the discipline of language learning since childhood#my shonen protagonist energy and slight megalomania#and my nonbinary trans thoughts about physical change and self improvement etc etc etc#despite coming from such vastly different backgrounds (not just culturally just in the like- I'm a queer artist n educator n stuff#and they're literal monks in an organised religion/belief system)#we have still somehow arrived at so many similar not only beliefs but also just like ways of living and discipline and worldview#something something outsider perspective that queer people will be more prone to due to being an eternal minority in any part of the world#while ppl like monks/nuns take up the lifestyle they lead in order to alienate themselves from the rest of society for religion's sake#something something the historic connection between ppl who dedicate their life to religion (monks/nuns/priests/etc) and the queer community#and various cultures where genderqueer ppl's role is/was that of religious leaders#something something maybe in a changing world that is not as religious anymore we can still be advisors and wise ppl to consult#like I think that's literally the conclusion I've arrived at for my pitch to the feminists is#you will never truly manage to include us as equals for sheer numbers reasons so you might as well use us and our skills and insights#for the gender lib movement in other more distinct ways that neither need you to fully equate us to you nor to limit us to your part of it#pay the transfemmes to teach y'all coding karlie kloss can't do it all on her own#and pay me to come teach you abt transmasc inclusion and internalised misandry and the terfs#and you'll find plenty of use from having us around
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achilleslyre · 1 year
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ugh……………
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zahai · 8 months
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Is this a sideblog by chance?
Indeed it is. It used to be used as a primary blog, and I did intend to use it with at least some purpose even after I shifted my attention, but now it's just kinda mindless spam/things I find cool but don't have the spoons or words to give more attention to.
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