#so this wont show up on tags heart been broke so many times </3

[wincore]

sour tangerine | huang renjun

pairing: keyboardist!renjun x songwriter!reader

words: 15.3k

summary:  ‘i gave up on that sort of music,’ he’d said. but not like this. not when you’re there to grab his wrist and drag him into your ridiculous notions about music that make him want to tear all his hair out. huang renjun falls in love with two words that escape your lips, and now he has to pretend his cheeks aren’t caked in a blush as red as donghyuck’s guitar. maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to joining this band of idiots just for an incredibly cute songwriter.

themes: rock band!au, fluff, (mostly existential) angst, comedy-ish

warnings: making out, alcohol, college kids being college kids

song recs: hello sunshine - wetter // how to love - day6 // today - nell // rooftop - n.flying // what can i do - day6 // red - the rose // i loved you - day6 // leave it - n.flying // baby - the rose

a/n: nct dream 00 line rock band. that’s it. who wants to join my renjun cover literally any song by day6 agenda. if you think this is like a kdrama compressed into a fic i am so sorry but you are correct hsdksh also i do not know what it’s like to major in music or make music so... please bear with me.

special thanks to @insomni-writing​ for beta reading this ilysm!! and @cinanamon​ because your support made me actually finish this ily dude <3

With hair dyed blond and a stream of colourful words ready at the tip of his tongue, no one assumes Huang Renjun majors in classical music. Not when he’s threatening Lee Donghyuck by the vending machine, not when he’s pulling an arrogant half-smile by the semester-end results and certainly not when he’s hardly ever seen near an instrument as elegant as the grand piano.

If they heard him play it just once, they’d forget the rest.

He strikes the keys gently, and then all at once in a motion so very unique to him—and you know this, not because you were stalking him, but because you happened to get a very rare ticket to the national level performing arts concert (which you didn’t scam out of someone that time, you swear). Looking pristine in a clean tuxedo and with then dark hair swept to the side, Huang Renjun looked very much like an alien, like the words leaving his mouth and the things he’d do would be so unpredictable. 

You were right. 

Huang Renjun plays the piano like he’s not of this world. 

He plays soft rock tunes even better—which, this time, you know because you were, in fact, stalking him while he spent extra hours in the practice room. From the lazy smile on his face to the way he let himself loose (for once) in a hot pink hoodie he kept trying to cover with his bag all day, you knew he was perfect.

Out of all the miserably planned (and timed) situations you’ve pulled yourself into, this might just hit top 3. 

You’re going to convince Renjun to join your band.

Which is easier said than done, because Renjun is just as stubborn as you are, if not more. You’ve never wanted to smack someone so bad and neither have you ever contemplated the outcome of spontaneous fistfights as much. But as frustrated as he leaves you, you know you need him, or your picture-perfect plan will fall apart before you’ve even started to paint.

The first time you’d nudged him in class, he’d sent you a glare as soon as the question left your lips. You’d fought a pout, the warmth on your cheeks popping like firecrackers. But you’re not easily discouraged, no, not really, not ever. 

The second time, you’d spread your arms in front of him to get him to stop walking off, looking more of a lunatic than a college student (sometimes, what’s the difference?) and Renjun had pursed his lips and furrowed his brows in an expression more than annoyed. 

“Please!” you yelled, catching the attention of fellow students.

Renjun eyed your palms flat against each other, elbows raised in a most comical prayer and announced a “No” just as loudly before briskly walking away.

The third time, you’d sent Donghyuck, your lead guitarist, who you really shouldn’t have expected to perform better than you did. You know they’re friends, so that should have worked better, right? Wrong. Renjun had returned a pouting Donghyuck, complaining nonstop for two whole days afterwards and with a message from Renjun to “in the best of words, fuck off”.

You sigh, glancing at the time on your watch. This is your last time to book him for your ragtag rock band (still unnamed) and you’re going to leave him with no choice. You can do this. 

You tiptoe from one side of the corridor to the other, the large windows drenching you in an uncomfortable amount of sunlight. But you are quiet—you know how to be sneaky and you’d be lying if you said you’re not at least a little bit proud of it. Renjun stays at the senior practice room well into late afternoon and if the door was closed fully, you’d be hearing nothing of it.

The old model of electronic keyboards in the practice room, which made you wonder if electric instruments ever rust, now plays ringing clear. It’s not just the fondness with which your school’s beloved pianist plays it but the added charm of his structure, straightened enough to focus but relaxed just as much.

A few minutes pass by in quiet contemplation, as you run through your plan again. First, approach him with a friendly gesture, offer him your strawberry milk or something. Second, block every exit he might seek once you’ve cornered him. Third, spew that long speech you prepared—a pretty pile of words ought to move him. Right? If all else fails, you’re going to call in Jaemin as your secret weapon. The boy can charm a rock, and you hate to be doing that to anyone (even Renjun), but drastic situations call for drastic measures. You take a sharp breath.

Oh, he’s singing now?

You misstep over the marble flooring and the door creaks open a little too loud.

Shit.

The music stops. You take a good second to swear at yourself, well and full, before breathing in and entering the practice room with as much confidence as you can gather.

“Renjun!” you say, grinning wide and arms stretched as if you’re there to welcome him.

Renjun looks at you, surprise smeared across his face. He quickly picks up his bag, shaking his head at you as he makes his way towards the door.

“You- “

Instead of all your brilliant planning, you resort to pulling a disgruntled Renjun into a lonesome corner before he can leave. It would seem more of a threat than an invitation to join, you’ll admit, but right now, you need Renjun to not glare at you with a scowl so obvious. It’s not that his face makes you nervous, it’s the outcome of today’s attempt. The bright afternoon sun reaches his hair and the left side of his face, a warm hue over eyes that look at you with more than just mild annoyance. He wears a grungy dark jacket over his lightly coloured T-shirt and has the audacity to claim he doesn’t do rock.

“Are you trying to kidnap me or something?” he asks, adjusting the strap of his bag.

You quickly smack the wall so your arm blocks his way, though the impact of it makes you wince.

“Join me,” you say, looking at him, determination across your face though the sentence comes off more cult-ish than you’d want. 

Renjun takes a step back to look up and take a sharp breath.

“I already told you,” he says, raising his voice, “I don’t do that sort of music anymore.”

“Anymore?”

Renjun groans, lips shaped in perfect annoyance. “Just how long are you going to keep this up?”

He tries to escape you but you take a hasty step closer, his back hitting the wall with a thud. It’s not all that fun, getting people to join your band. It’s even less fun when Renjun’s cologne is a tad too minty for your tastes.

“I’ll do anything!” you say, pressing your lips tight as the pleading grows in your eyes.

“Anything?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes!” You jolt up straighter.

“Then leave me alone forever for the rest of my life.”

Renjun crosses his arms and you frown, a sigh lacing your lips till you bring yourself to look him in the eye again. It’s not yet time to pull out Jaemin, you’re not even sure if that will work, but you might just have something else. 

“Lee Chaerim!” you suddenly yell. “You like her, don’t you?”

It’s a long shot but if it works… 

Renjun’s cheeks dust pink and he takes a step back, furrowing his eyebrows at you. Bullseye. You fight a snort before he can catch you. Gods, he’s so obvious.

“Wh-what gave you that idea?” he retorts, pitch shooting higher before he recomposes himself. “She’s a classmate, idiot. And don’t yell her name!”

“Star pianist Lee Chaerim,” you wave your hand about. “Who wouldn’t have a crush on her? I mean you’re a close second though.”

Renjun raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “It’s really not…”

“I’ll score you a date with her!” you declare, grinning like a maniac. “If you join my band.”

Renjun sighs, shoulders sagging. “You’re really not going to drop this, are you?”

“Nope.” You shrug, popping the ‘p’ in a helplessly obnoxious manner. 

Renjun leans back against the wall, head tilting to look you in the eye as the frown grows prominent over his lips.

“And you think scoring me a date will make me want to join your…band?” Renjun snorts.

You shift your eyes awkwardly. “Well, I didn’t really paint you as the Romeo type either but hey, I don’t judge a book by its cover.”

“(name)?”

“Yes?”

“You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

“Oh. That’s actually the sweetest thing I’ve heard from you,” you muse before quickly returning to the subject at hand. “Ah, come on. Just give it a chance, please? 

“I major in classical music.”

You raise an eyebrow, a smirk crawling over your lips. “And yet you’re more than decent at Queen on the keys.”

Renjun straightens, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. “You’re stalking me?!”

“No, I’m scouting you. All the big companies hire people to do that.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Er, it’s called extraordinary.”

“Extraordinarily annoying.”

“Stop arguing with me!” You stomp your foot.

Renjun mimics you in a rather aggressive tone, the tip of his nose almost touching yours. You pull a face, throwing a soft punch at his shoulder to which he responds with a sharp cry and a glare. 

“Fine!” Renjun says, massaging his shoulder. “I’ll give you one week to prove to me this band’s worth my time.”

You feel something akin to surprise before his words register. Worth his time? He's just about as arrogant as you expected. 

“Deal,” you say, shooting him a forced smile.

From the light periwinkle of his T-shirt to the blond strands astray against his forehead, there’s a sort of halo surrounding him. You press your lips together before you can laugh at his supposed angelic qualities, before he somehow starts to look as pretty as your friends describe. 

“Starting today, I’m your lyricist and composer!” you grin, extending your hand towards him.

“I...You…” 

Renjun hesitates before taking your hand in a firm shake, but not before pursing his lips in doubt. Perhaps you could have warned him before grabbing his wrist and so unceremoniously dragging him here. 

“I didn’t even join,” he mutters.

“I’m giving you the full trial!” you defend.

Renjun stays quiet before suddenly clearing his throat. “You can- You can let go of the wall now.”

Your eyes trail to your hand and you immediately retract it with an “ah”. There’s barely any distance between your chests, and you suppose you were successful in cornering him—a little too effectively. Renjun shakes his head, quickly walking past you with no gesture of goodbye.

“You’re going to be disappointed, (name),” he says quietly before leaving.

You blink in confusion at his disappearing figure. 

Whatever. When have you ever paid attention to words of warning? You glance at the back of Renjun’s head from the second floor’s handrail as he rushes down the stairs, albeit a sort of grace to his movement, and sigh. 

Donghyuck owes you twenty. You’re going to be rubbing it in his smug face that you’ve recruited, er, almost recruited the unreachable Huang Renjun. And for a date? He must be far more romantic than you thought. You don’t think you’ll ever understand him.

You take a slow, deep breath reaching all the way to your belly. 

Your plan is working out. It’s going to work out—soon you can be writing songs to a rhythm and melody of your choice, for people who can hear the words and dance to it. The world’s gonna sing along to your songs, to the chorus to your ambitions. 

“Renjun?!”

Between Donghyuck’s agape mouth and Renjun’s defensive stance, you really don’t know who to approach first. This place was apparently the only room in all of Seoul a bunch of college kids could rent out and while all of you dished out a remarkable chunk from your earnings, it was worth every penny. From the ugly orange wallpaper to the stinky couch, you wouldn’t trade a thing in this room, except for maybe Jeno’s withering plant in exchange for a new one. Poor thing’s been dead for as long as you can remember (courtesy of Jaemin).

“(name) actually convinced you?” Donghyuck asks, exaggerated surprise in his voice before he drops it lower. “You can tell me if you were threatened or something, promise I’ll get you out of this.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, a smile making on to his face anyway. “It’s just for a w—mph!”

You slap a hand over Renjun’s mouth, stepping in to grin victoriously at Donghyuck. “See, Hyuck? I told you I’d make it work. Now, pay up.”

“You bet on this?” 

The curtains are drawn shut but the room lights are bright in a strange sort of way, like someone in the sixteenth century discovered electricity early and decided to reinvent candlelight out of it. Late afternoon isn’t as gentle as it is in winter, but you’d rather have patches of sunlight decorating the room instead of the garish yellow lights. The lavender air freshener you sprayed a few minutes ago has already settled in, the previous scent of instant noodles, though delicious, finally gone. You should’ve brought the coffee mix, you think with regret. A productive day needs a productive start, as you’ve always been told. (You might have messed up, but it’s never too late, right?)

You think you should have anticipated a little adjustment trouble after all.

Jeno walks headfirst into the mess—with Renjun choking Donghyuck under his arm while you try to not drop the pile of records from the small coffee table and onto the Dorito dust-covered wooden floor. The recorder is safe, a good few feet away from your mayhem.

“Oh, hey Renjun, didn’t know you’re a part of this,” Jeno says, raising an eyebrow at the boy.

“Yeah, I didn’t either,” Renjun mutters in response, loosing up on Donghyuck.

You narrow your eyes. “Wait, you guys know each other?”

“Yeah, we’re in the same dorm,” Jeno answers, shrugging before he drops his bag onto the couch. 

You gasp. “You could’ve just asked him all this time?!”

“Uh,” Jeno drawls out before coughing forcefully. There’s a slight change of air, and your inability to read situations, for the first time, is a major help.

“Hello, trouble children,” Jaemin announces as he enters, his bag thrown in Jeno’s direction, who seems relieved for the interruption.

“Oh, hi Renjun!” 

“You know him too?” You’re almost offended at this point. 

Jaemin stares blankly in confusion. “Yeah, we’re…all…in the same dorm.”

You throw up your head in exasperation, an annoyed huff leaving your parted lips. “And none of you thought of asking him to join?!”

“We didn’t think he’d ever agree,” Jaemin says, glancing at Renjun discreetly. 

Renjun stays quiet, shrugging before he plops down on the couch. “Anyone wanna tell me what we’re supposed to do today? Apart from killing Donghyuck?”

“It’s not my fault you’re so bad at rock, paper, scissors,” Donghyuck retorts quietly. 

“You cheated!” Renjun sits up straight, glaring.

You raise your palms like the peaceful negotiator you are, and honestly, all they had to do was decide the lead vocal for the new song, which Renjun vehemently rejected. 

Donghyuck gasps. “Renjun isn’t half as innocent as he looks. Watch out (name)—oof.”

Renjun elbows him in the stomach, the resulting expression on Donghyuck making you wonder just how much strength Renjun really has.

“Renjun, Donghyuck. You’re both lead,” you say, finalizing.

“What?!” 

The two of them look at you, one with betrayal and the other with an emotion very close to murder. It wasn’t easy coming to the decision, sure, but for this song, you’ll be needing Renjun a little bit more. Is it treacherous of you to have picked out the song most suited to him? You have your reasons, however. You’re not letting Renjun leave without experiencing the wonders of performing at a local pub, and in general, you’re a little iffy about letting him leave at all. You need the keys and you need a chance. You have something to prove.

“Just this song, Hyuck,” you sigh. “You know we switch up things every time.”

“Fine,” he grumbles. “The show's coming Saturday, right?”

You nod when Renjun interrupts.

“Show?!” he blurts.

“We’re performing,” you answer, shrugging. “You know Odd Fruit? In Hongdae?”

Renjun wrinkles his nose, shifting back. “No? Isn’t that a dive bar?”

“Best place for us,” Jaemin grins, resting his elbows against the headrest beside Renjun. “Saturdays are for rock.”

Renjun sighs. “I don’t- I don’t sing rock.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow. “I wasn’t peeping or anything but wasn’t that you in the shower? What were you singing again—”

“Okay, okay!” Renjun sits up straight, heaving a sigh, his shoulders moving with it. “I sing Disney songs in the shower, it doesn’t mean anything…”

“We can do that sort of music too.” You grin, tilting your head. “We can do any music!”

“Yeah,” Jeno encourages thoughtfully, “Even idol music!”

“No,” everyone says in unison. 

Jeno mutters something under his breath, sulking as he sinks into the couch and crosses his arms after adjusting his bright red baseball cap.

Renjun shakes his head, recomposing himself. “You want me to perform next Saturday?! That wasn’t in the deal!”

You furrow your brows. “I told you it’s a full trial!”

“That’s over a week!” He throws up his hands in exasperation.

“The trial week ends on Friday and Saturday’s just a bonus,” you reason, crossing your arms. 

You don't break the gaze just in case it determines your stand. It’s probably a full minute of glaring at each other before your humble audience intervenes, Donghyuck bursting into laughter and the other two following. You share a puzzled look with Renjun, looking around for an explanation.

“We’re gonna have a blast this Saturday,” Donghyuck says, wiping a tear from his eye. “I can’t wait.”

“We’ll get to practise,” Jaemin says, resting his palm on Renjun’s shoulder reassuringly. “You’re gonna have fun, trust me.”

“I hope so,” Renjun mutters.

That’s all you need to hear.

Renjun isn’t half as disagreeable when he’s focused. His brow line is straight, lips parted gently and eyes almost hazed over as if his fingers over the keys have eyes of their own. 

Renjun is also fantastic at perfecting your notes. You always thought he’d be too prissy to work with you, but he doesn’t seem to care about that anymore. With flushed knuckles and long fingers, part of hands that were meant to play the piano—you’d say Renun lives up to the musical prodigy title. The short demo you’d played for him somehow swirled and twined into music so him and yet still you, rock undertones with light blues. You haven’t met anyone who can play with melody like that, besides Donghyuck.

Rock means hope. Undone to be done.

And maybe, part of you is a little disappointed at how well he handles the pre-performance stress. You would love to see a hint of jitters in him for once. Saturday wastes no time in creeping up and while you wish you could say you feel what your band looks like, you don’t. The pre-performance stress is very, very different for you. 

Let’s say, you’re not too sure about reviving rock music in Seoul. It’s not very popular and still considered underground, but hey, at least it’s easy on the ears and it is honest, if nothing else. And an honest sound wins, right?

You lock eyes with Renjun, before they're ushered to the centre. There's not much to be said. You smile with a determined nod, holding up both of your thumbs to the boys. This will work out. It will.

And at the very least, you're getting two shots of whiskey on the house.

The place is shabby, but not too shabby for a dive bar. There’s a giant mural… thing of what seems to be the hybrid of a peach, apricot and dragonfruit. You’re not too sure, actually. Just as crowded as you expected, the lights glow dim and the smell of musk and lime keep in check the other foul smells that could possibly emanate from the human body. Lovely. Your fingers play against your lips as they stretch into a smile. It’s the perfect place to play your song, but maybe the jitters have a purpose after all.

There are foreign faces around, quite literally, and it makes you nervous. You settle by the bar, your last words of encouragement drifted off further from you to whatever that excuse of a stage is. 

Renjun looks calm as ever. The confidence in him is not what you'd expected, though a bubbling feeling in you suggests it's even better this way.

“You finally got someone on the keys,” a familiar voice calls from behind the countertop.

You turn your head to find Doyoung, arms resting on the table and holding what seems to be a bottle of vodka so tenderly, you’d think it was either his child or an explosive.

“Huang Renjun,” you respond, smiling. “Like the best pianist in our year. Or maybe second best.”

Doyoung laughs. “You kids could be as good as us some day. Need more practice.”

“Hey, old man, it’s not your time anymore,” you say, raising an eyebrow with a cheeky grin. “Maybe you were the best keyboardist back then but…”

You lean in to emphasize as you point at a Renjun furrowing his brows at all the wiring. “That guy’s going to outsing you. It’s the new era now. Etcetera, etcetera.”

“You talk like I’m from a different generation.” Doyoung scoffs, though the corner of his lips twitch. “Still dreaming of making your boyband? Do you guys even have a name?”

You pout. “It’s not a boyband! Okay… technically, it is a boyband. And no, we don’t have a name.”

You sulk for a moment or two at the way Doyoung had called your life’s work a boyband in that uninterested tone. Nothing’s wrong with a boyband. You sigh.

“At least we’re getting free alcohol, eh?” you nudge Doyoung, him being the reason you’re getting to play here anyway. What does a graduated music performance major do in his free time? Bartending, apparently. You haven’t ever really questioned his life choices and you’re not going to start now. Never question your seniors.

“I’m not serving you kids alcohol,” he says, furrowing his eyebrows in disbelief.

“We’re legal,” you argue, crossing your arms.

“Hard to believe.”

You see the smile lines crease on Doyoung’s face and before you can retort, a hum of strings resounds through the place, loud enough for the two of you to catch.

“Sorry,” Donghyuck mouths sheepishly to the two of you, Doyoung responding with an eye roll.

“I didn’t know that demon could get nervous,” he mutters and you laugh at the comedic duo the two of them make. 

Donghyuck clears his throat into the mic and you cringe, but not before holding back your laughter at the terror in his eyes. Right then, the keys are struck, and suddenly, music is into motion.

You absentmindedly hum along, smiling to yourself before it strikes you to monitor the crowd. You gulp, a crease in your brows as you look around with the determination of a child at a pet shop scanning for a puppy to adopt.

You give up after a minute or so, the feeling weighing heavy. Reading facial expressions has never really been your thing, especially under lights that don’t acknowledge the purpose of their existence. (You’re not saying this because you have bad eyesight.) Fun varies. Everyone in this place is in a crowd of their own, and if not a crowd, in a dream. Some nod along, some smile but you, you know the song better than anyone else in this room. It has to be worth something.

You sigh. Your desperation gets a notch crueler each drawing year, and yet, the questions still arise. Do you have to be someone? A smiling face at a dive bar is more than enough to be, you think.

You mouth the lyrics, nodding your head along to the baseline you helped make. You think Doyoung chuckles beside you, something about taking self-love too seriously but you can’t hear him over the sound of the band. 

Bass. Drums. Keys.

Suddenly, in the moment between heartbeats, your eyes meet Renjun’s.

He sings into the mic full of self-assurance, teeth occasionally making an appearance in a chaotic smile. It's always the little things that make the person. Eyes peering down at the keys, barely keeping open at certain parts and yet you think you see a hint of exhilaration in them. 

The riff of the second song starts out loud. This is Donghyuck’s song and this time, it turns heads. You’re not sure in a good way or bad, but it wouldn’t be the first time people have wanted to beat him up in a bar. You snicker to yourself but just then, two guys cheer from the crowd, a red-faced Donghyuck flashing them a grin.

“Ah, Jaehyun and Taeil are here too,” Doyoung notes. You’ve never actually met the two but you’ve heard of them so many times you think you could replace Doyoung as their lead singer. 

The song is called Cheers and for good reason.

Donghyuck smiles into the mic, and with a highly anticipated breath, you realize, Renjun is smiling too. Little by little, the night grows more optimistic and into the palms of your youth. Even in this tiny, crowded place. Even in a room full of people you can’t read.

The song ends in time, but not enough for Donghyuck to actually convince Doyoung to give him drinks. It’s not a Saturday night without their fights, and despite that, the atmosphere is warm with spoken words. You think you catch Renjun beam at Doyoung’s compliment, suppressing your own smile at the two..

Clink, splash, clink.

“You know, for someone as excited about whiskey, I thought you’d be better with liquor,” Renjun says, sighing as his hesitant finger pokes you in the forehead.

Your eyes open so suddenly, Renjun flinches and you ease into a smile. “I’m not that drunk. The next shot, maybe.”

That’s not entirely true because you’re sure the previous one just needs a little more time to settle into your gut. Renjun, on the other hand, seems to be better at dealing with alcohol. The peach hue across his cheeks make you want to pinch them and you’ll give it twenty minutes before you lose control and actually do.

The two songs were only three and a half minutes each but they seemed to stretch long enough for you to be pleased with them. You’re not sure about the rest.

“I almost messed up the beat there,” Jeno mutters, resting his head against the bar table. Jaemin shrugs beside him, taking another shot. The two of them can hold their liquor, at least. Donghyuck cannot.

“Was it that bad?” Donghyuck asks, adjusting the red bomber jacket he was so sure made him look cool. “I don’t think it was bad. I mean, we all do embarrassing things once in a while—”

“Does he not shut up?” Renjun wails before looking at you accusingly. “Don’t end up like that.” 

“I don’t mope, Renjun,” you snap, your finger unsteady as it points at him. “You better remember that about me.”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “And you’re gone too.”

“Tell me,” you say, your lips tugged into a lazy smile, “you enjoyed it, didn’t you? I saw you smiling.”

Even under the wash of blue light, you can see his cheeks tinge with colour. Is Huang Renjun purple now? Not the crystal clear jewel you’d expected, but these hues are so much nicer on him. He doesn’t always have to be under golden spotlight—he can just bask in the mulberry shades of a nearly sketchy club once in a while.

“Renjun,” a loud whine erupts from beside you, Donghyuck immediately wobbling up. “I can’t believe you actually agreed to play with us. C’mere, let me give you a smooch.”

Renjun curls his lips, desperately trying to fight off Donghyuck clinging onto him for life, and you hear a grunt of pain from Renjun in a pitch you didn’t think was humanly possible. You laugh, clutching your stomach and hear a few strained words from Renjun about how no one ever helps him. Who would help him when he’s providing you the funniest event of the weekend?

Jeno is the knight in shining armour tonight, pulling Donghyuck off but not before the boy lands a kiss on Renjun’s neck, in turn getting smacked in the lips a little too hard. Donghyuck places his hand over his mouth, keeling over with eyes shut in pain and Renjun mutters about how he deserved that. He fits in just fine, you think.

“You wanna… not do that?” 

Renjun pulls the shot glass away from you, and you frown at him.

“So tell me,” he says, leaning in a little closer to be heard over the song. “Why did you want me to join your band so desperately you forgot your own dignity? I’m not saying you had any to begin with but…”

“Look, Renjun, I don’t give away embarrassing secrets when I’m drunk,” you warn, poking him right between the ribs. “Even if it’s not embarrassing. Or a secret.”

“Right. You’d do that sober,” he sighs, arms a polite distance from you when you try to stand up.

“Now you tell me—”

“You didn’t even answer me.”

“—did you have fun?”

Renjun pauses, taking a moment or two as he scans your face. The light dances across his features, gentle eyes and parted lips, across the dark jacket over a white shirt that has turned fluorescent under the lighting. You forgot how fun this place got beyond midnight, when they play beats to dance to for a crowd that seeks nothing more than fun.

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

Renjun might be trying very hard to stop the smile over his lips but you can see it in his eyes. And perhaps, people are only seen when they are true to themselves.

“Huang Renjun!” you yell all of a sudden, voice still drowned out in the delicate discordance. 

Unfortunately for Renjun, you yell directly into his ear and he responds with a violent recoil, hand flying to his ear involuntarily. He probably cries out too but the music is deafening, something you enjoy rightly so. Or is it the alcohol? Should you have stayed sober for Renjun’s sake? Right now, you don’t even mind the strong minty scent wafting from Renjun—in fact, it’s welcoming, even.

You wobble onto his chest before tentatively pushing yourself away. You curse at yourself. You weren’t supposed to get hammered. How much did you drink? You can’t even bear to look at the bill right now.

“You know what? I’m not having fun right now,” Renjun speaks into your ear and you jump. There’s a hint of a smile on his face. 

You sit back down on the bar stool, pouting at the fuzz blooming inside your head. No more words for tonight. In all honesty, why doesn’t anyone ever let you dance?

“Oh no, you don’t.” Doyoung pulls the bottle of whatever-alcoholic-beverage out of your reach. “Do you even know how expensive that is? You’re going to have to pay.”

You think you sober up a little, sitting straight. “Oh no. I don’t have money. I’m not cleaning the place again.”

A sort of unspoken arrangement passes between Doyoung and Renjun, who you’re sure have never met before. You know Jaemin’s dragged Donghyuck home, the same way you’d drag your pet cat away from the kitchen and Jeno is the only one with a driver’s license and Doyoung’s trust (hence, designated driver). Which leaves the two of you. 

Renjun heaves a sigh, pulling you up by the shoulders. “You’re going home. Or whatever dumpster you came from.”

He proceeds to mutter something about Jeno being late but in the moment, you flash him a grin, walking perfectly away (at least, you think you do) and out into the night. Renjun follows, flustered by your absolute lack of restraint as he somehow manages to stop you from tripping over the sidewalk.

“You didn’t dance,” you complain, looking at him. 

“You didn’t let me,” he retorts. “Look at you. You’re as bad as Donghyuck. Babysitting him is difficult enough.”

You grumble before agreeing. “Okay, fair. Next time, no drinking. Unless it’s free.”

What college student would have the audacity to turn down free drinks? Huang Renjun should not have been this good at holding his liquor. Needlessly, your thoughts are incoherent—not too good for a songwriter, right?

Huang Renjun has a lighter touch than you thought. He has a polite hold over your shoulder, in a way friends do most often, and you might feel like you could have been friends with him forever, but you can never tell what he thinks. Sometimes, Renjun really is extraterrestrial. In the way he talks, in the way he looks at things and in the way you almost believe he’s going to do something unspeakably outrageous someday. 

You feel a certain sprout of warmth in your chest as he sits quietly beside you in the noisy car Jeno loves to drive. Must be the alcohol, of course. Of course.

And sometimes, you come up with words fit for a song. To fall asleep in last night’s clothes and wake up with tomorrow’s dreams—all part of the grand plan, part of the crusades of youth, nothing more and nothing less. That sounds like something you’d love telling your family when you’re old and grey. You laugh to yourself, pulling the covers over your head, not knowing how you even ended up here. 

It smells minty. 

With that one fleeting thought, you doze off in your unwashed bed sheets and faintly lemon-scented pillows, shades of plums and oranges and cherries of the night twisting into midnight black.

Playing at Odd Fruit is now a thing. Your thing. The band’s thing.  

As if you needed any more reasons to stay over at the bandroom, now that Donghyuck and Renjun bickering keeps everyone up all night. You’re not blaming them, of course, when you join in the fun too. The day Renjun’s nostrils stop flaring and his eyebrows don’t furrow into an oddly adorable expression will be the day he’s finally set free from your ‘ill-treatment’.

Tap, scratch, tap.

Donghyuck fiddles with the strings of his guitar, while the rest lay slumped in any clean bit of space they could find, like runners after a marathon. Which is funny, really, considering you were the one running errands and cleaning up the damn place and it’s yet still somehow trashed. You could be having a little more energy, you always could. 

However, the lengthened nights have left you in a state you’re rather afraid to be in. Your eyes don’t grow any more determined when it’s time for end semester tests, you don’t grow any happier at the thought of graduating. There are so many tunes to find, so many words to scribble—just how will you catch up?

Fun is a perfectly valid reason to do things but it’s only so long before the rest of your feelings each grip you by the limbs. 

“We need to do something more,” you say, pacing the room. “Something that’s a little more eye-catching, you know?”

There’s a pause.

“Make Jeno play the drums shirtless,” Donghyuck suggests.

Jeno sighs, still not having figured out how to respond every time a scandalizing proposition escapes the boy’s mouth. At this point, most of you have considered duct taping him over the mouth but it’d never work. Renjun’s tried.

“Why do we even need it?” Renjun asks, eyes on the ceiling as he lies back on the couch.

“To improve!” you say, shoulders hunching.

“I don’t need improving,” he mutters, neck angled to the side in contemplation.

“Yeah, you should see Renjun at the dorms,” Donghyuck snorts. “I don’t think he can get any better.”

Renjun furrows his brows. “What?”

“You play the keys in your sleep, Renjun,” Donghyuck says, almost distastefully. “You keep tapping and tapping against the study desk. How the hell do you not wake yourself up?”

“And you snore,” Renjun mumbles, glaring at him. “How the hell do you not wake yourself up?”

“Guys,” you interrupt. Your lack of sleep throughout the exam season has not left you any better than this. “More important matters at hand.”

“Why are we so stressed anyway?” Renjun sighs.

There’s another pause in the quiet afternoon. You’d think it’s comforting even to have the same fear lingering beneath each of your noses, that same existential grasp ready to pounce—all within the comfort of the same room you share. All those late nights sharing ramen have meaning after all, as do the utter messes all of you make on Friday evenings as the boys try to practise, as does every Saturday night performance and every Sunday afternoon spent trying to watch the same movie on a tiny phone screen.

“How about we each look for inspiration?” Jaemin pipes up, eyes still a little lost.

Everyone turns to him and he straightens ever so slightly. “Me and Jeno can come up with a beat, (name) and Renjun can look for a melody and Donghyuck—”

“Can fuck off?” Renjun suggests helpfully.

Donghyuck pouts, crossing his arms. “Hey I’m—”

“Yeah, maybe Donghyuck can fuck off,” Jaemin says, fighting a smile. You raise an eyebrow, wondering which one of Donghyuck’s antics finally got on Jaemin’s nerves.

“This is harassment,” Donghyuck mutters before sinking into the couch beside Renjun. “Well, good for me! I get a day off—”

“No, you don’t,” Jaemin disproves. “You’re cleaning up this place.” 

Donghyuck lets out a gasp. “All by myself?”

“Well, you trashed the place all by yourself,” Jeno reasons.

You tune out the bickering for a few moments. There are important matters at hand and no one seems to be listening to you. You play with your fingers absentmindedly when the thought arrives that maybe you should declare your secret little project. The song you wrote with Renjun in mind, that is. You should admit that it’s really just a nicer way of saying you wrote a song for him. 

Astounding, isn’t it? This should be the part where you feel your pulse quicken. It’s just a song and the nights spent with him on the keyboards, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes has given you a head full of rhythm and song. It’s just a song.

You’d do anything for a good song.

But first, you need your audio converter fixed. The damn thing’s been generating noise all on its own, when it’s clearly your job.

“I need to go to Yongsan,” you say, picking up your bag. “We can find inspiration along the way, can’t we Renjun?”

“Why do we need to go—”

“Oh, get me some replacement strings for my guitar,” Donghyuck chirps.

“And a new pair of drumsticks,” Jeno says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You sigh. He really needs to stop breaking those. Where do drummers get such unparalleled rage on a drum set?

You walk over to the door before turning back and sending a pointed look at Renjun.

“I… have to?” he asks, and the look in his eyes almost makes you pity him. If anything, he’s having it worse than the rest of you are, with balancing the weekly gigs and practising for his piano recitals, though he never studies like the rest. You feel sorry but clearly, not enough.

“Yes,” you reply hurriedly. “Quick, get up, come on, we’re wasting time.”

“Okay, okay! Don’t pull my shirt!”

It’s so easy to get Renjun to do things these days. You bite back a smile as he fixes his collar, features still disgruntled by your (over)enthusiasm. His bag is cuter than you thought for someone who dresses punk (“It’s not punk,” he’d snapped, after re-dyeing his hair yet again.), with three different moomin keychains hanging against a baby blue hue. 

You should know better than to let yourself think about someone so much.

The subway is absolutely lovable when it isn’t rush hour.

Skyscrapers nearly aren’t as looming as they are on rainy days, but you make your way through a still busy city, the heart of it beating like a snare drum with each passing moment.  A little rain cannot stop Seoul. 

Renjun walks beside you explaining how you should really look into this new underground artist you’ve already listened to three times this week because of him. He never seems to understand that you are, in fact, capable of remembering the things he says.

“I wrote a song about you,” you say abruptly.

Very smooth.

Renjun raises an eyebrow. “Like as a gift? A fan song? I’m so flatter—”

“No, stupid,” you interrupt, shifting your eyes upon irrelevant surrounding details. “It’s not about you. I just thought you’d like it.”

You pause.

“Yeah, it’s a little bit about you. A gift for joining. You can sing it to yourself in the shower or something.”

“You know, I feel really offended when you call me stupid.”

You glare at him. His ears are tinged red but right now, you’re a little more than done with his insults. Sure, you make mistakes—like dropping a full open can of soda on your own lap or submitting the wrong assignment to the wrong professor—but at least you’re not cynical Huang Renjun, incapable of making mistakes at all. It would be much more infuriating if you hadn’t seen Renjun drooling in his sleep or vigorously wipe at his nose after having snacks too spicy for his own good. You suppress a retort.

You reach the subway entrance taking slower steps than usual; but time is not a constraint here.

“It’s not a diss track, is it?” Renjun asks, suddenly doubtful. 

You can’t help your laugh (and horrifically, snorts), in turn evoking a smile in Renjun.

“No, it isn’t,” you assure, before grabbing his wrist and skipping down the steps, Renjun’s panicked voice yelling at you to slow down. 

“Can you not do that?” he complains, massaging his wrist at the subway platform.

“You made it through without tripping,” you reason, sticking your tongue out at him.

He reaches out to flick your forehead but you cover it just in time, a grin blooming across both your faces at this childish playfight. The train arrives with an almost soundless screech and you hop on slowly with anticipation in your footsteps.

“So what is it about?” Renjun asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows against his knees.

“You,” you respond, nonchalant.

“Very informative.”

The noise of the trains keeps the moment engaged, chuffing throughout as busy as they are.

Renjun lets out a barely audible gasp. “It’s not a- It’s not a love song, is it?”

You laugh, amused.

“Renjun, I knew you were arrogant but not this arrogant,” you tease.

He flushes hotly, and there’s that feeling again—that maybe you’re wrong. Maybe you don’t have anything else to hang on to and music is the only ledge left. 

You wrinkle your nose before shaking yourself off the feeling. Rainy days always do this.

“Besides,” you say, “I’m still going to score you that hot date with star pianist number one, aren’t I?”

“Not number one,” he begins before hesitating. “That’s… not necessary but thanks.”

You punch him swiftly and he responds with an oof, clutching the ball of his shoulder.

“Don’t be shy,” you complain. “That’s not fun.”

“Well, I’m not fun,” he retorts. “I don’t need to be. I like having a working brain.”

You send him an exaggerated hurt look, hand reaching to pull at his cheek before it gets swatted away. Somehow, in this exact moment, you find a new tune and it doesn’t seem to be the end of your search. You contemplate saving it in your voice memos but you figure a noisy subway train is the last place to record. Besides, you don’t want to lose the look in Renjun’s eyes when he’s talking about how impressive the new relocated concert hall is.

“It’s called Not Feeling Spring,” you say when the train doors open to your station.

Renjun raises an eyebrow, somewhat disbelieving, although you’re not sure of what. 

“You’ve definitely packed some insults in there,” he accuses.

You look at him, defeated. “Trust me.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

Step, step, splash. 

“Ew,” Renjun says, shaking his foot after landing on a particularly damp part of the sidewalk. They really should have evened out the path when laying the pavement. But unfortunately for Renjun, he’s already stepped onto rainwater in bright yellow converse.

It’s not just his shoes that look like daisies could bloom over them either—there’s paint over his denim jacket in pictures you’re aware that Renjun himself painted. A nice little touch, but not a very smart choice for a garment. How unlike him, you think to yourself when you hear him sigh and complain about the weather.

“So this is your famous shop?” Renjun asks, eyeing the discoloured walls of the store by the shop.

“You’re doing your thing again,” you reply, face souring.

He looks baffled. “What thing?”

“Your thing. The one where you act all cynical.”

“I’m not cynical.” He crosses his arms.

“Great, you’re even cynical about being cynical.”

Inside is, of course, as warm as ever. The walls are vibrant red, in stark contrast with the exterior and you think you see Renjun’s face grow pinkish. You smile at the man behind the counter, in his late fifties and smile still somehow as bright as yours.

“What’s the problem, dear?” he asks, glancing at your laptop. “You know I can’t help with software issues.”

“I know,” you say, “But I’ve tried every guide on the internet and there’s still unnecessary noise.”

He clicks around your screen for a few seconds.

“Have you tried getting a better mic?”

“Uh.”

Renjun snickers beside you before promptly apologizing at the two pairs of eyes on him. You didn’t bring him here just to embarrass yourself in front of him. Your cheeks flush as you tell the man you’ll come another day with your mic, before heading to the supplements aisle. Renjun follows you quietly, silent laughter yet still etched over his face and he looks away when you glare at him.

“Are you sure you wanna buy the wooden drumsticks?” Renjun asks, picking up the carbon fibre ones instead.

“Jeno loves the wooden ones,” you defend. “And you really think those are within my budget?”

Renjun shrugs, keeping them back in place. 

“Feels like I’m shopping for babies,” he mutters.

There’s a second’s pause before he straightens, a particular discomfort in his being. “Not- Not like my babies or something. I- I meant—”

“I know what you meant,” you say, trying very hard to hold in your laughter. 

“I don’t like that face you’re making.”

“You don’t always have to explain yourself,” you smile before heading to the counter.

The scent of rain makes you nostalgic. You step outside with Renjun and into the sound of rain against pavement. It’s wet and damp, and your hair clings to your skin in that horrific discomfort of humidity, truly one of the worst cruelties of rain. You make a face but an idea strikes you smack across the forehead.

You gasp.

“This can be our stage!” you declare, spreading your arms.

Renjun pulls your arms down. “Don’t block the sidewalk!”

“Sorry.”

You shove your bag onto Renjun, bewildering him even further. The sleeves of the jacket he rolled up, fall into place again as he raises an eyebrow at you.

“This,” you say, waving your arms about, “Should be a stage.”

“Huh?”

Renjun looks unconvinced at your flailing and you sigh. 

“The rain!” you say, trying to sound as enthusiastic as you can. “Isn’t it romantic? You’ve never thought what it would be like playing in the rain?”

“Uh, inconvenient?”

You groan. “Come on! Picture it for a second.”

You give it a moment before showing him what you mean. Renjun bursts into laughter at your air guitar performance, suddenly unaware of the pit-a-pat. 

“It would be nice,” he says, his teeth poking against his lips. He places the bags under the shaded entrance of the store before stepping into the drizzle.

Pitter, patter.

Renjun flashes you a goofy smile, shaking the water out of his hair only for the rain to come in stronger. With raindrops caught on eyelashes, you can only think of the soft, rising melodies that come in movie scenes like these, except it’s a lot more uncomfortable than they show it to be. You smoothen your hair, getting slightly frizzy due to the raindrops. You’ve always wanted to do things out of line and out of regularity and it’s not just because of the price sticker spelling ‘youth’ that clings to your back—but now, is it selfish to just want to stay under the rain? 

In a way it feels just the same as ever; like singing barefoot on an asphalt road, cooling rains and people around, without a care each. You tell Renjun about the time you were stranded by the bus stop under heavy downpour for so long, you decided to walk home with pneumonia a step behind you and he tells you that you’re an idiot. It’s nothing unusual but it makes you smile when he laughs at you. 

The rain slows again before you can start to shiver, chest rising and falling with each breath that fills your lungs. 

“I have a song!” you declare, eyes shining. “A love song. We’ve never done a love song.”

“A love song?” Renjun asks, laughing almost. “You want to write a radio love song? Why?”

“Because, Huang Renjun, there’s not a thing in the world that isn’t made for love.”

Renjun pauses before wrinkling his nose. “Don’t preach me.”

The clap of thunder startles the two of you out of calm. It’s not so much the screams that left your mouths simultaneously as the looks you get from passersby. Renjun looks at you the same time as you look at him, his ears red and eyes nervous.

“Lightning doesn’t- Lightning doesn’t strike in the middle of the city, does it?” Renjun asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted, like a hare stranded in the middle of a busy road.

“I don’t know!” You respond, pulling him by the sleeve to the nearest cover. “I don’t want to know.”

Renjun grabs your hand and you realize with a thump in your heart the effect of it. He pulls you to the side, saving your jeans from the fate of getting splashed by muddy water courtesy of an oncoming car.

“Ooh, quick reflex,” you say, despite the clanging of cymbals inside your ribcage.

He shrugs, picking up the bags and shoving yours to your chest.

“Ow?”

“Don’t look at me like that. You know why.”

“You know, you’re not as grumpy as I thought you were. You’re still petty, though.”

“Thanks.”

When you’re back to the bandroom, you find Donghyuck snoring on the couch with an even more worn out Jaemin sitting cross legged on the floor and his head against Donghyuck's knee. Jeno looks like he’s in a world of his own, tapping away at his phone in a game he seems to be losing at.

“Why are you guys wet?” Jaemin asks, cracking an eye open. “Had some life-changing experience?”

“Not really.” You shrug. “Why do you guys look dead?”

“I am dead,” Donghyuck mumbles in his sleep to which Jaemin shakes his head.

“He didn’t even do the entire cleaning…”

You hope the skip in your steps isn’t too obvious. You have a song and this time, it feels pure in a way that you haven’t made before.

“I hope you guys came up with a beat,” you call.

“Uh, about that—”

“I have a new song!” you announce bouncing on the balls of your feet.

Your declaration is met with a bunch of smiles. Soon enough, everyone in the room is up and to their positions in a matter of minutes. 

Music isn’t about being eye-catching, considering the eyes have nothing to do with it anyway. You signal Renjun who in turn, clears his throat.

A strum of guitar string. Four notes on the keys. Bass. A beat on the drums.

“One. Two. Ah, one, two, three, four!”

The cafeteria is jam packed at three a.m so it’s a good thing you brought Renjun here an hour early. So, your top secret, full resistance, avant-garde mission? Your new song and the one for Renjun, of course. 

“So this is top secret,” you whisper when he sits down from across you.

“I’m sure it is,” he snickers.

You pass your notebook to him, scribbles neater than usual. (That’s only because you rewrote the song in a new page.) You start your laptop, waiting for the screen to load as Renjun goes over the lines.

“My dreams and I don’t get along,” Renjun reads aloud before furrowing his brows.

Ah, I hate people.

I hate my friends too.

And I love saying that which isn’t true.

“Oh, very funny, (name),” Renjun scorns, crossing his arms. “Is that what you think of me?”

You chuckle to yourself. Maybe it was a little petty, but you love the look on Renjun’s face when he’s annoyed, nerves a second away from being completely fried. Just for fun. This was just for fun. 

Somewhere along, however, you can’t deny the essence of him you’d so hopelessly wanted to capture in the melody, in rhythm and timbre, orchestral almost. It’s each note of the piano he plays to himself late at night in the bandroom, each featherlight hit on the cymbal and the song you hum to yourself on the bus ride to classes every morning.

It’s a love song. 

You break into a sudden coughing fit at the thought, Renjun flinching before offering you his bottle of water. Somehow, the gentle hand on your back trying to ease you gives you yet another reason to support your unwanted epiphany. That’s just ridiculous. It’s something natural between friends, isn’t it? Yet, you’d gag at the idea of writing Donghyuck into a song. 

You calm down and meet Renjun’s eyes, the glint of something familiar making you pause. 

“Water?” he offers, and you straighten.

“I had the stupidest thought,” you say, trying to laugh it off.

You can’t do it. You can’t make light of it with him.

“When do you not?” he says, a soft smile on his face.

You smile awkwardly in response, avoiding his eyes as you rub circles on the soft flesh between your thumb and forefinger. 

It’s quiet, much more than not, distant buzzing of the 3 a.m. university cafeteria crowds drifting through the space between you and him.

“Do you ever- Do you ever think about doing it?” Renjun asks.

You blink before feeling warmth on your cheeks. 

“Doing what, Renjun? That’s a little too private to ask. I mean, I could answer, of c—”

It doesn’t take long for him to burn bright vermillion at the cheeks. 

“I- I didn’t say that,” he defends, stuttering over the words. “I was talking about making music. Do you ever think about it or do you just do it?”

“Oh,” you respond intelligently, the embarrassment making you flush harder. Funny, you used to laugh the loudest at these sorts of mistakes. “I don’t- I don’t know. I think about it after I’ve… made it?”

You scratch the back of your head awkwardly. 

“You… do like it, don’t you?” he asks, something akin to worry in his eyes. 

You hum, smiling. “Of course I like it, Renjun.”

No. The truth is, you don’t even know how it makes you feel. The truth is, you do feel sick listening to your own song over and over again. Have you run far enough? Do you have to be running for this?

You seem scared. Is that what he wanted to tell you? You can’t be that easy to see through, you resist. When he held your hand earlier, could he feel it shake?

You’re so afraid that all of this is for naught that you can’t feel it anymore. You hardly make music for yourself, for no one else to hear. Is that what you wanted? When you wrote Not Feeling Spring, were you searching for something you desperately wanted or something you lost? You’re only twenty and you’re aging.

You snap yourself out of the whirlpool of questions to a drowsy Renjun playing with the bracelet around his wrist, lost in his own circle of thoughts. 

“I wanted to give up on this,” he whispers suddenly. “I wanted to give up on music.”

You hold your breath till he looks at you, a strange sense of vulnerability that makes you want to reach over the table and share some of the warmth your palm offers.

You’ve already drawn the conclusion.

“You’re not alone,” you say, leaning in with the widest grin. 

Renjun rolls his eyes. “Are you saying that to comfort me? It barely has any effect. Thanks, th—”

You shake your head, standing up abruptly and scrambling onto the tabletop. It’s the perfect time to be a little ridiculous. Renjun looks around, alarmed, tugging at you to get down which, unfortunately, draws even more attention. 

“Raise your hand if you’ve ever wanted to give up on music!”

There’s a moment of pause before laughter erupts, followed by a few cheers and almost as many raised hands as you’d expected. Some of them tell you to get back to your date, or focus on completing overdue assignments—friends and friends of friends. They are music students, after all.

Renjun looks around the place, rosy hued in the face, though he isn’t as angry as you thought he’d be.

“I almost never started,” you say, giggling as you resume in your seat. “Giving up came so much later.”

Renjun laughs. You don’t even have to make music out of it.

“I tried to give up the piano,” he admits, still flushed. “But I couldn’t break the habit of playing against my desk. Even then.”

You smile, resting your chin against your palm. “That sounds just like you. Now tell me, when did you discover flumpool?”

Renjun frowns and you feel an uncharacteristic thump in your chest. You want to draw your finger against his cheeks and the space between his brows, against the strained lines—the thought of it much more scandalous than the action itself.

“I didn’t- My parents didn’t- ugh.” He hesitates. “Look, everyone hated my style of music. My parents, the neighbours, their dogs. 

Your eyes soften as you sit up. “I’m sure they didn’t hate it—”

“No, trust me on this one.”

Suddenly the honey tint of his voice is dripping a dangerously low baritone. It doesn’t sound like him and it sends a shiver down your spine, a certain coldness you never thought would seep into you. It is the loneliness of curbed dreams, after all.  

“I thought I should’ve given up on music altogether. Became, what, a doctor? A lawyer?” Renjun sighs. “Whatever I do, it shouldn’t be music, right?”

He heaves a sigh in sync with you. There’s a passing moment in between where you can clearly see the apple of his eye, shining a daunting amber and a warmth you can only feel over coffee tables in university cafeterias at midnight. 

“But you’re here now because this is the closest you can be to music?” you offer, your smile sheepish.

Renjun laughs, your eyebrows furrowing as he tries to stop. “No. No, classical music was the last option on their list—but it was on the list.”

You smile, although it is small and gentle. And—unlike anything you’ve felt since you jumped onto the adulthood train.

“They like it now, though,” he beams, shoulders relaxing as if rid of a burden.“I mean- They said- They said they’re proud of me.”

When someone decides to confide their happiness to you, it is just as precious.

You look up, eyes bright as you finally get to ruffle his hair. “Well, I’m proud of you too!”

Renjun coughs indiscreetly, shaking his head before facing you. “Th-Thanks. It’s… good to hear.”

“Say it back,” you demand, making Renjun laugh.

“I’m… proud of you,” he says with rose-tinted cheeks.

The midnight chatter grows louder when the two of you pause. A symphony of voices through the area, higher pitches and lower, baritones and trebles. You wonder what people talk about most when you are quiet. You have friends—it’s not like you’re alone, per se. But everyone seems to be running, away from something or towards something. Your bones feel heavy for a second as you stir the coffee. Is it selfish to just want to get to know someone? Neither of you moving a muscle, with laughter that isn’t carried away by the wind.

“I didn’t think I’d be good at anything apart from classical,” he says, reluctance in his mouth. “Sorry about all that ruckus I caused when you asked me to join.”

You raise an eyebrow, nose wrinkling at the apology. “Renjun. It sucks when you apologize.”

He groans. “You’re really annoying, you know that? I was being nice.”

“I know,” you say, grinning. “It was all forgiven a long time ago. Can’t believe you had to say it out loud.”

“Oh, pardon me,” he says, voice rising. “I was taking into consideration your below average understanding of social cues.”

“You’re going to get smacked.”

That night, when you leave Renjun at the intersection to your respective dorms, you have yet another unwanted epiphany. He waves you goodbye with a smile, pale blue T-shirt hanging loose on his shoulders and you wave back as ardently as you can against your prominent heartbeat. Huang Renjun has the kindest eyes you’ve ever seen.

Some days, you take the bus together to and from classes. It’s not like the dorms are far but walks are considerably less fun when you’ve barely rubbed the sleep dust out of your eyes and class started ten minutes ago. Besides, you’re not letting the student bus pass go to waste.

Rattle. Rattle. Woosh.

You yawn and it quickly spreads to Renjun beside you. Classes are over and there’s no practice today. You can hear a popular song play through his earphones and tilt your head to look at him, a suppressed smile on your face. Renjun does a double take when he notices you, a little flustered as he quietly offers the other earbud and you put it on with a short word of thanks.

It is a track by one of Seoul’s favourite bands and you’re not going to lie, say you haven’t fallen prey to its charms. A catchy baseline, engaging drums and attractive vocals—you stop yourself. When was the last time you enjoyed a song without deconstructing it piece by piece? You sigh and Renjun shifts beside you, though no words part from his lips.

Absentmindedly, you find your head drawing nearer to his till they bump once and you startle away, only to laugh at each other. Is this another useless epiphany of yours? That Renjun has a lovely laugh—these are getting out of hand.

You look out the window instead, skyscrapers shiny and metallic as always and with little to offer. Unwittingly, a pout climbs onto your face at the prospect of feelings bubbling up right when you’re setting Renjun up on a date. He doesn’t know, of course. It’s meant to be a surprise and somehow, the little voice in your head won’t stop yelling at maximum volume inside your head about how wrong this is. Is it selfish? To an extent—nothing ever is purely selfless and you haven’t lived long enough to question. So why are you even bothering with this whole surprise?

Because you don’t want to think about the feelings. As if they’re things to be thought about. As if you can throw them away into the trash bin like a crumpled piece of paper.

An elderly couple boards the bus, sharing a large shopping bag as they take slow, careful steps over the aisle. Renjun responds almost at the same time you do, getting up so quickly Renjun has to hold on to the strap so as to not trip over you. The couple thanks you and you nod politely, trying not to bring attention to the earphones tangled around your necks.

You take a step closer in an attempt to separate the wires but it only makes you lose balance, Renjun clutching the cloth at your back so you don’t faceplant right into him. The other hand hangs overhead on the strap, grasping so tight his skin has turned red. 

He glances at the old couple once, blood rushing to his cheeks at something and he turns his focus back to you. 

“The- The wires- We should—”

Young love isn’t what this is. How silly. There’s enough of that all around.

“That’s what I was trying,” you interrupt. “Wait.”

You use your hands to pull the bud from your ear, trying to figure out how the loop even coiled this way. Renjun’s hand pushes against your waist at the sudden jerk, your soul almost leaving your body at the unexpected feeling of falling down. You breathe out, cheeks getting warmer. This isn’t quite uncomfortable, though.

When you look up to meet Renjun’s eyes, you feel something faint, a hint of something you can’t quite put your finger on.

“There,” you say, the wires all out of their miserable twining. 

Renjun barely nods, the music still blasting loud and clear through the buds. His hand still holds the strap for balance, and the other still holds you, for reasons private. 

There’s a warm flush over his face when he mumbles about crowded buses and the afternoon heat, eyes averted to every corner but you.

You laugh. Renjun is adorable when he least expects to be. And when you least expect him to be, he’s even terribly attractive. You swear by the way he’s looking at you, if you leaned in a little further, he’d let you kiss him. 

Wait, what?

You sober up quickly, in a moment of clarity you do not wish to have. You’ve never felt the weight of the feelings this intense. Yours isn’t the name he should be calling out so affectionately. Her. Anyone else. You were so sure of it. Huang Renjun’s fleeting interest in romance doesn’t involve you—cannot involve you.

That’s why you’re doing him (and yourself) a favour. Besides, you promised it anyway, didn’t you? 

You gulp. 

When did you start explaining yourself for everything you do?

Step, screech, step.

“Where the fuck are you even  taking me?” Renjun complains from behind you, light on his foot. “You said it’s not too far away.”

“It’s a surprise!” You stop walking to cross your arms.

“I hate it when you say that.”

How would he react? You think he’ll get a little angry, maybe scowl at you or even yell a little. You haven’t been able to look him in the eye longer than two seconds for about a week now. 

“Ta-da!” 

You stretch your arms to point towards the new cafe in town. Renjun looks at you and then the cafe and back again.

“You’re taking me on a coffee date?”

You choke on air, coughing before you can clear your throat and clarify.

“Not- Not me. Remember I promised you a date with—”

“No.”

“Yes! Wait, is that disbelieving no or are you saying you’re not going to go?”

Renjun closes his eyes and sighs, as if dealing with a toddler. “I’m not going. Why didn’t you say anything? I’m not prepared or anything!”

Something takes a tumble and falls inside your chest. You smile at him nevertheless.

“Don’t be shy now. She’s waiting, come on.”

Renjun shifts his weight from foot to foot, but it seems equally uncomfortable on each. He peers intently at you, looking up and down your face before pressing his lips together.

“Have fun,” you wish.

You push Renjun towards the door and he hesitates, some part of you expecting a little more resistance. He shrugs, although he seems to be holding back a smile. This isn’t the time, you tell yourself.

You turn on your heel before you lose your final excuse to be able to say that you are not completely enamored with Huang Renjun.

The afternoon would be more peaceful if it weren’t for Donghyuck and Renjun yelling at each other. This time, you’re not to blame.

“That’s not how you tie a bow tie!” Donghyuck complains, though Renjun won’t let him anywhere near.

“I know you’re trying to get back at me for drawing on your face last Saturday,” Renjun yells back. “But this is the pre-annual concert. You’re not fucking anything up.”

Donghyuck grumbles before settling down. Four music performance majors and yet none of them know how to do a bow tie—if it weren’t for you, Renjun might have ended up with his usual askew one. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking, and you’d just rather not look at him too long anyway. 

Formal white shirt, a much debated black bow tie and polished black dress shoes on Renjun aren’t strange to look at—in fact, they quite suit him when, despite its striking colour, his hair is parted neatly to the side. But they’re all so out of place in the bandroom, monochrome against messes, that you start to wonder if you simply think too much about him. That all of his colours and melodies are just there for you to notice.

It’s not true, of course.

But when did you become a cynic? 

“I’m going out,” Donghyuck says, huffing, “Why are they taking so long to buy ramen?”

Oh no. No, no, no. You try to mask your panic. Is one person enough to check up on Jaemin and Jeno? Would it be weird if you left too? Before you can answer those questions, you and Renjun are the only ones left in the room. You stand awkwardly by the couch, Renjun a few feet away, smoothing out the creases on his shirt.

You clear your throat, bringing his attention to you.

Nice going.

“So how was your date?”

You had to ask that, didn’t you?

The voice in your head has never been so loud before. When your question goes unanswered, you look up from the highly interesting floorboards to Renjun trying very hard to fight a snort.

“We talked about the recitals, extra lessons. Joked about you being an idiot.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What?”

“Chaerim’s not interested in guys.” Renjun laughs. “I thought you knew!”

There’s a pause.

“Wait, you were serious about setting me up with her?”

You stare a little too intensely at the space between your feet. Why would you choose now of all times to be coy? You keep yourself from swearing out loud.

“I- I didn’t know, okay?”

You feel the heat over your cheeks, the sound of everything other than your own heartbeat drowning out. A few more seconds pass and you worry more. 

“Don’t set me up on dates,” Renjun says, a sigh leaving his lips. “It’ll never work out.”

“What? Why?”

Renjun falters only to cover it up. “I- I… Why do you keep avoiding me?”

You can’t answer that.

“Setting me up on a date, never looking at me when you talk to me—are you going by the book or something?”

You hold your breath. He’s not misunderstanding and it only makes matters worse.

“All that because you don’t want to be in love with me?”

“Renjun, that’s not—”

“So what is it?”

You look up from your restless fingers and regret it almost immediately. The way Renjun looks at you, it damn near breaks your heart. His nose is a pale shade of red, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with undecided words.

“Am I- Am I dreaming everything up? Just tell me you don’t like me. I thought I made myself obvious.”

You can feel your pulse against your eardrums, ready to burst open any second.

“Renjun. It’s not about this,” you say, voice strangely low. “It’s about music—It’s always about music. I can’t risk anything.”

“Risk? What risk? You’re afraid you’re going to stop making music when you’re with me?”

“No—”

“You just want your songs on the Billboard charts? 

“And what if I do? I just want to be heard—”

You can barely breathe at the lack of distance between the two of you. Renjun looks straight into your eyes and you remember why your heart has been hammering in the first place.

“So it isn’t about music.”

You fall silent. It’s not wrong to want to succeed. But it’s never been about that. You were preparing yourself for a race while you repeated your love for it that was never there. Music is not a race and so, it is not the race you love.

“I didn’t want to be rich or famous,” Renjun says, voice lower than usual. “I don’t want to be rich or famous.”

But a musician does not want to be forgotten, does he?

For once, Renjun is fearless and you are not.

“There are worse things,” Renjun says, breath against your cheek and a rapid pulsing in your wrists. You look from his eyes to lips before breathing out slowly, eyelids growing heavy despite yourself.

The sudden bang makes the two of you jump away from each other.

Donghyuck kicks the door open, hands occupied with steaming instant ramen cups and Jeno walks in with the sprite. 

“Jaemin’s paying and we forgot our wallets,” Jeno offers an explanation when you raise an eyebrow.

You clear your throat awkwardly as the two scrutinize you with eyes you’re not yet ready to meet. You know you’ll never hear the end of this and better yet, you can pretend it never happened.

“Aren’t you supposed to get going?” Jeno asks, struggling to balance this month’s entire supply of ramen while Donghyuck holds the top of the pile.

Renjun responds with a soft ‘yeah’, eyes glancing at you once before he grabs his coat.

“I’ll see you for practice then.”

With that, the sounds inside your chest draw to a deafening close.

You’d think Doyoung would perform with his own band at his brother’s wedding.

(“I don’t want to work on the day my brother gets married.”

“I thought you work as a bartender?”

“Oh, dear.”)

You’re not complaining, of course. The longer you spend in the bandroom, the more suffocated you feel. You can’t meet Renjun’s eyes and neither can he meet yours. You rejected him, for fuck’s sake. It cannot get any more awkward than that. Any distraction will do.

This might be the first time you’ve been to a wedding on a Thursday night. At the very least, you’re happy about it being an outdoor wedding, the cool night air refreshing you the moment you step into the garden. It’s fairly large and you know Doyoung’s brother is an actor, but it never really struck you how wealthy that meant.

“There’s a chocolate fountain?!” Donghyuck gasps, walking towards it before Jaemin grabs him by the collar.

“Stage. We’re being called.”

Donghyuck massages his neck before he decides to give everyone an unnecessary pep talk.

“Look, Renjun, you better sing like that’s your ex, who you’re still in love with, getting married,” Donghyuck turns to advise a deadpanning Renjun.

“I- what? You should do that yourself.”

You smile at them encouragingly, smacking Donghyuck a little too hard on the back (you need payback for him “borrowing” your lunch on Monday) and stand at the sidelines. Donghyuck’s guitar seems to be the brightest thing in the venue, followed by Renjun’s hair. Unfortunately for Jeno, they couldn’t get the whole drum set in and the puppy dog look on his face when he sees the box-shaped cajón might have affected you some other day. 

They perform as usual, if not more enthusiastic to be in front of a crowd that isn’t drunk or worn out or both. The love songs you wrote came to be useful, after all. The muse of them, however, stands out even now.

This time, your heart skips a beat to meet Renjun’s eyes. And he doesn’t take them off you the entire performance.

The soft vibrato of his voice doesn’t fade easy, the crowd clapping along to the song with encouraging laughter. You move to the drinks table—it’s a good thing the wedding has a no kids rule because there’s alcohol you haven’t heard of at the bar table. Or maybe it isn’t a good thing. You’d love to see the look on Doyoung’s face when some rebellious twelve year-old chugs a shot of vodka. The thought makes you giggle.

You keep your word, even if you were drunk when you’d said it. You didn’t drink at any of the gigs, mostly because Doyoung wouldn’t offer anything for free, but a deal’s a deal. This doesn’t count, does it? 

You take the shot after a few moments of contemplation. You’d ordered it on impulse and whatever dare of whim you have left in you.

Unbeknownst to you, the songs had stopped about five minutes ago, enough time for Renjun and the rest to appear at your side. 

“Doyoung never said there’d be alcohol,” Donghyuck says, not trying very hard to hide the sparkles in his eyes.

Renjun doesn’t say a word, not even at the obvious flush over your cheeks from the drinks.

“I need to go to the washroom,” you say, wobbling as you stand.

“Woah, (name),” Jaemin says, steadying you. “Take someone with you.”

“I’ll go.”

You avoid Renjun’s eyes, even now. Looks like shame isn’t as easy to wash away as it seems.

You can’t hear anything apart from your pulse, a rather disarming thing to have to listen to when it’s for long enough. You walk wordlessly to the building, locating the washroom after a few twists and turns and Renjun waits patiently for you outside.

It’s always bizarre to see yourself in the mirror of a public washroom, especially with alcohol in your system and a flush over your cheeks that you think makes you look cute. You rinse your face and dry it before you exit.

Renjun leans back against the wall, eyes glazed over in thoughts he spills only occasionally. He looks gentle in the fairly lit hallway, under lemon-coloured lights. 

“Renjun,” you call absentmindedly.

He straightens immediately and for the first time in a while, you stare at each other for longer than four seconds.

“I don’t want you to feel awkward around me,” you begin. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean—”

“Cut it out.”

You feel a drop in your heart at the harshness in his tone. Even so, you don’t feel any less drawn to him.

“Don’t be like that,” you say, voice nearing a whine. “You know I’m not any good at this. I… I have so much work to do.”

“Are you so insecure that you can't trust yourself?” he hisses, and somehow the truth of it doesn’t lessen the euphoria of proximity with him.

“You have pretty eyes, Renjun,” you say, but his eyes are not what you’re looking at.

Renjun looks down, sighing out heavily. “Stop this, (name). Don’t play.”

You smile. “This isn’t a drama, you know?”

It really isn’t, but the touch you're craving has been collecting, drip drip drip, and now it’s ready to boil over in a climax befitting any stupid drama. There should be a soundtrack to go with it, right? Renjun’s face so near to yours, lips full and pink, and heartbeat erratic under dim lights. Temptation has never been a sin to you. Then, what are you afraid of?

For a moment, Arctic Monkey’s Snap Out of It loops in your head.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask, the last shred of your senses fallen apart.

He falls silent, at a loss for words you don’t want to hear.

You can’t blame the alcohol. It’s not that you wouldn’t do this sober—it’s that you would definitely do this sober, and all would be ruined just like that. So now, while you’re under the thinly veiled excuse of being drunk, you might as well say it.

“I want to kiss you,” you repeat, bolder.

Oh, sudden proximity can make you aware of so many things. For instance, Renjun has changed his cologne, less minty and more citrus. You aren’t even looking at him when you lean closer, pressing your lips softly and yet carelessly against his. You feel returned pressure and for a moment, the wash of numbness.

Renjun pulls you away by the shoulder, eyes wide in panic. 

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Why are you apologizing? God, I hate you. I could listen to you speaking forever.”

You bury your face in Renjun’s neck and breathe in. He gives in almost too soon, a hand gently resting against the back of your head while his arm wraps around your waist.

“Let’s get you home,” he whispers. 

You feel him shift, the rhythm of his pulse loud in his jugular, and somehow it makes you breathe a sigh of relief. The night fades little by little into the chatter of crowds, to the the hum of a car engine and finally, to the inevitable quiet of your own bedroom.

It’s a Friday. They’re supposed to be nice.

Of course, it would be were it not for a list of things. One: your fading hangover. Two: the vague regret of a drunk kiss. Three: your friends you can’t tell a word to. You might just die of shame before the autumnal existential dread settles in.

“Do you guys have any idea whose number this is?” Donghyuck asks, holding the handkerchief open for the rest of you to see. “I don’t want to be accidentally related to Doyoung hyung.”

The night is bleeding into the evening outside as Jaemin stands up to flip the light switches. You stay curled up at one side of the couch, Renjun by the keys as he tries to figure out a tune and a state of calm that would be perfect if you weren’t falling apart inside. The bandroom always made you feel at ease, but it doesn't seem to be working its charm now.

“You drink too much,” Jaemin states. “You would’ve remembered if you didn’t have an entire bottle of soju.”

“I wasn’t the only one,” he defends, sending you a pointed look. You roll your eyes. Donghyuck never did learn to take the blame.

“Didn’t Renjun and (name) leave early?” Jeno asks innocently. “What were you guys doing for so long by the washroom?”

Renjun presses on several of the keys at a force too hard, the haphazard symphony bringing everyone’s attention to him.

He awkwardly clears his throat. “Home—the dorms, er. We went back. Taeil hyung drove us.”

You don’t know about the atmosphere, but you could definitely cut something with a knife right now. Your eyes shift from person to person, nothing unusual about them except for the two of you.

“Does anyone want to come get ramen? I’m hungry,” Jaemin suggests quietly.

Jeno shrugs, getting up.

“I just had a cup of ramen,” Donghyuck begins before breaking into a smile. “Too much ramen can never hurt.”

“I’ll pass,” you say, ready to fall asleep any moment, if it somehow alleviates the messy scribbles in your head.

“Me too,” Renjun says, back to playing out the tunes softly.

Your fingers tap against the armrest of the couch, occasionally scratching it out of boredom. The atmosphere is still just as thick but you can't say much about it hanging there.

“You’re not sleeping,” Renjun says suddenly, more of a statement than a question. “You look tired.”

“Yeah.” It’s all you can manage. 

“Is your hangover gone?”

You cough when you try to answer, getting more nervous with each passing moment.

Renjun slowly walks towards the coffee table, picking up the bottle of water to offer it to you. You utter a short ‘thanks’ and before he can get back, you tug at his sleeve. Your breathing is sharp but you don’t react much when he sits beside you, legs outstretched in front of him.

“Your roots are showing,” you note, hand involuntarily reaching out before you stop yourself.

Renjun sighs. “What’s wrong? You don’t- You don’t have to—”

He clears his throat.

“—You don’t have to pretend around me.”

There’s a rustle of cloth as he shifts to turn to you, eyes concerned when they look over.

“I’m just...sad,” you admit, the feeling weighing down when you do. “What, you never have days like these?”

Everyone does, don’t they? The truth is, sometimes you get a little sick listening to your songs. If you don’t hate it at least once, is it worth it at all?

The monthly breakdowns have taken a hard turn now that you don’t have much to do. No exams, no more weekly gigs due to Odd Fruit’s renovation and most importantly, hardly any inspiration. You don’t know how to do things unless you’re on the run. It’s so stupid.

You speak of dreams and yet, yours feel void.

“I do. A lot, some weeks.”

Renjun hesitates. You know he’s dying to talk about last night, he’s never been the sort to let feelings rot inside his stomach. But how do you tell him that despite knowing life’s full of ups and downs, no one’s bothered to explain to you which is which? You’ve never lived life with clarity. 

Sometimes life hands you tangerines instead of lemons. Sometimes they’re still as sour.

You look back at Renjun, heart churning with feelings you don’t understand. From wide eyes to his full lips, there’s a way you can’t help but stare. It wasn’t the alcohol—you still want to kiss him. Maybe you should start with an apology, maybe those are meant to be said out loud sometimes.

“I’m sorry I… I ‘m sorry I kissed you,” you say, finally. “Without warning.”

You wonder how you turned into this. Head over heels for something that might not even be real. 

“I’m not mad,” he mumbles, “Just don’t go around kissing strangers.”

You let out a short laugh, rubbing your arm. It’s not like you to explain yourself but for him, you’d spill every single thought that crosses your head. Does he know that? You’d never let him but now—you can’t say you mind.

Quiet.

“I- I may not always know what I’m doing, Renjun,” you start. “I want things and I don’t know how to get them. Sometimes I don’t even know what I truly want.”

There’s a short pause when Renjun draws nearer.

“You want to make music,” he says with certainty, gaze trailing over your eyes, then nose, then lips. “You want to have fun…”

Your heartbeat quickens despite everything.

“...And right now, you want to kiss me.”

It’s partly the confidence, and partly the fact that his lips are less than three inches from yours, that you close the gap without hesitation. 

It’s different—of course, it’s different this time. There’s no goddamn alcohol and the amount of clarity you can taste with your mouths pressed together is more than you’ve ever had. All the sounds in the world fall silent, replaced by the rhythm of your lips moving against his. Renjun’s hair is soft and he hums when you run your fingers through them, not song enough but still full of melody.

You pull apart after a few minutes, breathing heavily before you push your lips against him again, rising to keep your leg on either side of him. For a moment, there’s a sinking feeling and then a soaring one, and it evens out to the mellow drumming of your heart against your chest as Renjun holds your waist with the same delicate desire as ever. 

The second time you pull apart, Renjun breaks into the widest smile you’ve ever seen on him. You can’t help but reciprocate, burying your head against his shoulder.

“I think you should get off me.”

You pull back, frowning severely. 

“Oh, that’s very romantic,” you huff, eyebrows furrowed as you move to sit beside him, crossing your arms. 

“Hey.”

You look at him and he takes your hand in his, thumb rubbing over the back. Somehow, the gesture calms a part of you down, a part that hasn’t been calm for a very long time. You smile without realizing, leaning in for another kiss when the door slams open.

You yelp, clutching Renjun’s hand harder with just about the same force he does. 

“Jeno.”

You turn around to see Jaemin glaring at Jeno on his knee, Donghyuck fallen over his leg and both of their faces scrunched in pain. Jaemin shoots the two of you an embarrassed smile, scratching the back of his head.

“Did you guys know this room isn’t all that soundproof? I can’t believe the neighbours didn’t complain.”

The tip of Renjun’s ears flare red, and he points an accusing finger at the three of them.

“You were spying on us!”

Jaemin clears his throat but Donghyuck snorts before he can say anything.

“You’re still holding hands, lover boy.”

The statement flusters Renjun further but he doesn’t let go.

“Look, did the two of you think we’re stupid?” Donghyuck continues. “God, we thought your pining romance would, like, break up our band or something.”

You flush deeper, averting your eyes. 

“You cry at romantic comedies,” Renjun provokes.

Donghyuck stutters something incomprehensive before crossing his arms indignantly.

“We’re glad you’re dating now!” Jaemin butts in. “Ah, I can’t wait for all the love songs. The two of you do great on those!”

Renjun turns a brighter shade of red. You’re not going to be the one to tell Jaemin that he’s not helping at all but you sigh instead, resting your forehead against Renjun’s shoulder. 

“Ugh,” Donghyuck makes a gagging sound. “Does this mean you’re going to be all heart eyes in here? Right in front of my innocent eyes?” 

He shuts up when he receives four glares all at once, the air turning dry.

“I’m guessing you guys didn’t buy any ramen,” Renjun says, sighing.

“Shall we go?” you ask, looking at him.

He nods, smiling at you.

“You guys don’t mind us crashing your date, do you?” Jaemin says, wrapping an arm each around the two of you.

“I’m not complaining.” You shrug.

“I heard there’s a new flavour. Tastes like crap apparently,” Renjun says.

There’s collective laughter and Renjun beams, walking over to the door with you in tow. Every once in a while, you don’t mind peeling off the layers of a tangerine, especially since winter is near. 

You were right, Renjun did change his perfume to something more citrus-y. It’s the little things that build up in simplicity and it’s the little things that give everything flavour, from songs to journeys. 

Crackle. Shrrk. Rustle. 

“Dream,” you say, the noodles slipping through the chopsticks. 

The others look at you quizzically, as if you’d suggested the most ridiculous thing ever.

“That’s the name. Our band!” 

Under the convenience store lights, it somehow makes sense—and that’s one of the only moments of clarity you need.

[whitexwingedxdoves]

Scream     part 4

Scream. Part Four: Help Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Platonic Peter Parker x Reader Pronouns: She/Her Warning: Swearing, fighting, little fluffy. Summary: Scream pleas with Venom to help her, when he refuses you strike a deal with her. A/N:  Gets a little heated in this one. I’m not sure how many more parts there will be but im excited with what I have planned for this. I barley had time to proof read this one so, sorry if theres any mistakes; Ive been editing my podcast at the same time ha. If you want to be tagged, just ask <3 Master list of chapters

When you finally woke up, you found yourself in what you could only presume was a cell. Though it wasn’t bars and a metal bed, no. It looked comfortable and the walls almost seemed invisible if it wasn’t for the blue hue. What the hell happened.

You stopped panicking long enough to notice Bucky was sat in a chair just outside your cell. You allowed your eyes pan over him for a moment. His body seemed calm but the look on his face screamed worry. “You’re awake” he words were soft and despite your current situation, they made a part of you melt like butter. He pushed himself off the chair taking a few steps closer to your cell. “what-what happened?” you stumbled over your words as they seemed to crack in your throat. You listened to every word that spilt from his lips, explaining how Venom knocked you out, that Venom’s host was called Eddie Brock and despite them both being arseholes, Eddie seemed much more rational. He ended his little speech claiming that they had come up with an agreement, You were to stay with the Avengers, try to control the Symbiote or completely get rid but Tony argued his point of how it had to be your choice and despite Venom’s obvious opposition, Eddie managed to get him on board. You sat with the information you were given for a moment, allowing it to sink in. You clearly had a big choice to make. I want to talk to him.  It sounded like she was crying and instantly broke your heart. “She want’s to talk to him! I want to talk to him” your words seemed a little too stern but you stood your ground. Bucky nodded before leaving the room without another word.

You were only alone for a couple of seconds until a large framed man walked through the sliding doors. You watched the way he carried himself and already you could tell that Bucky was telling the truth, he was an arsehole. He stopped in front of you cell, a smirk etched onto his face which caused your eyes to roll. “She wants to talk to Venom” you demanded, in which he cockily shrugged and instantly morphed into the large Symbiote, it didn’t take long until Scream made her appearance. She was silent for a moment, you could feel your eyes welling up at the emotion she held. “You have to help me” though she stood confidently, her words showed weakness, even more so when he laughed at her. “You have to help me!” she repeated, her words louder now, causing Venom to growl slightly at her. “Help you? Look at you, no amount of help would stop you from being so pathetic” he spat at her, you could feel the anger bubble through your blood as his words cut through you. “You can’t just leave me here like this. We’re suppose to be family!” anyone with ears could hear the pain in her words. “You have to help me understand” she pleaded but you couldn’t take it anymore.

For the first time since she bonded with you, you took control. Forcing yourself to appear, your eyes filled with tears as you looked up at Venom. “Let me talk to Eddie!” you spat at him, your face showing nothing but disgust at the actions of the Klyntar. He laughed before his form shifted back to Eddie. “Can’t you talk to him” you so hoped that he would agree, that he would be the middle man, Scream needed so bad but alas, he just shook his head, a small laugh left his lips. “Look, it’s not my problem, I’ve got better things to do. I can’t babysit yet another Symbiote” he shrugged. Your eyes narrowed at the man as he turned on his heels to leave the room. “You’re both cowards.” You whispered, as he waved you off.

You sat back slight on the bed that was provided in the cell, trying to figure out what to do. You thoughts rushing from one scenario to another. One thing was for sure, you weren’t going to let them pull her from you. We can do this together. Despite her silence, you felt her gratitude towards you. If you can promise me, you wont try and kill everyone. I’ll help you, I’ll help you figure it all out! She promised and with that you called to Friday and asked to see Tony.

-

When you told Tony your plan of helping Scream, he was a little unsure but soon came around. You got him to agree to let the part he extracted from you, back into your body so that she could fully bond with you. Once you rested after you felt the rest of Scream find its place in you, you headed towards the gym. You saw Peter go in there not long ago and you figured he would probably be the best bet to help you with these new powers. With each step you could feel Scream getting stronger, it scared you a little, considering how much of a loose cannon she had been but you chose to trust your instinct.

Pushing the door open to the gym, you looked around to spot Peter, sitting on the edge of a boxing ring swinging his legs, listening to Happy drone on about the importance of understanding his strength. The bored expression on the teens face wasn’t lost on you causing you to giggle a little. Both their head snapping towards you before you started taking steps towards them. “Sorry to interrupt the pep talk” you giggled finally reaching them, you hand settled on Happy’s shoulder for a second. “You mind if I steal the kid for a moment?” you questioned he seemed reluctant at first but nodded, realising himself from your touch and throwing a look Peter’s way as if to say their conversation was yet but over.

You waited until the man left the room before turning to boy. Giving him a small smile before propping yourself next to him. “How you feeling?” he questioned, his voice a little shaky. You almost forgot how terrified he looked at you after he first met you. You nodded slowly pressing your lips into a thin line. “Actually, I feel great!” you admitted, placing your palms on your thighs. “I actually came here to ask you a favour!” you’re face scrunched up a little as you awaited his response. “Yeah- yeah sure. What is it?” you allowed a small smile to grace your face as he stumbled over his words. Assuming the boy had been fully informed of the decision you made, you sighed a little. “Well, considering you and Scream seem to share the same sort of... powers, I was hoping you could help me- help her figure them out” your words were slightly unsure of asking him to do such a thing. He took a moment, figuring out his decision before finally nodding, a little too aggressively.

-

You had probably been in the gym with the boy for hours at this point, constantly morphing in and out of your natural form as Peter taught you how to use your powers, the ones he shared with you anyway, despite being completely taken back by the webs that shot from her skin compared to the device he wore to make it happen. You on the other hand experienced scaling the celling for the first time, you couldn’t deny the fear that spread through your entire body, despite not having any control over it. Finally you had completely exhausted yourself but the boy barley broke a sweat, your head snapped at the sound of the door swinging open. Now standing in place of the door was Bucky, laughing slightly at how the two of you contrasted each other. You looked up at him like a saving grace for a moment, thankful to be done with this training experience. You noticed he was holding something in his hand but you couldn’t quite make out what it was.

“I think i’ve taken up too much of your time, Kid!” your words were breathless as you peeled yourself off the canvas you once sat on and patted him on the shoulder. Making your way over to the taller man, with a grateful smile on your face. He greeted you with a sly laugh, slightly mocking the way you obviously couldn’t match Peter’s stamina. Without a word, he held up a DVD case and displayed it on his chest. You’re eyes glossed over it for a moment before returning to his gaze with a rather large smile. “Fight Club?!” mixing you confusion with excitement as he escorted you out of the room. “Yeah, figure you’ve had a long day and you seemed almost offended knowing I haven’t seen it yet” a light chuckle left his lips as you both made your way towards your rooms. You didn’t say much of anything else before you reached your room, you told him you just needed to shower and signalled to the beads of sweat rolling across your body, he nodded and made his way to his room leaving you to do just that.

After you felt sufficiently clean and swapped your clothes for some that laid spare in one of the dressers, you made your way to Bucky’s room, lightly brushing your knuckles over the door. It took a couple of seconds before he answered with that forced smile of his. Though you knew it was genuine you couldn’t help but wonder if after all this time he’d simply forgotten how to smile. He lead you towards the bed before handing you a beer. You took in the sight of his dark room for a second before pressing the bottle on your lips, allowing the cold liquid run down your throat. You watched him fumble around with the DVD case attempting to figure out how his TV even worked. You didn’t offer any help, it was far too entertaining to get involved.

Finally he conquered the TV and sat back on his bed, holding onto the remote. He patted the mattress beside him, signalling you to climb on and you did just that. You allowed your body to curl up as you rested your back on the headrest of the bed, slightly turned in Bucky’s direction, resting the cold bottle on your thigh. When he noticed you had gotten comfortable, he pressed play and relaxed himself. You couldn’t help yourself looking at him every time something good was about to happen, needing to take in his reaction and never being disappointed. Every so often, he’d catch your gaze but instead of commenting on it, he’d ask about the plot line or one of the actor’s. You where taken back a little as he reacted the same way you did when Brad Pitt appeared on screen with nothing on but washing up gloves but it only made you laugh.

-

With your beer’s finished and the room now filled with the sound of Where is my mind by the pixies, you allowed yourself to stretch out a little. “So...” you pestered the older man, nudging him slightly with your knee. He just nodded in response, looking up at you. “Good, hu?” you giggled slightly placing the empty bottle on his night stand. You listened to the song for a moment, unintentionally singing along as you seemed distracted. You snapped back to reality as you felt eyes on you, looking up at Bucky, you couldn’t help but note how incredibly handsome he was in this moment. The way his eyes seemed to soak you up, the smile that got a little more natural every time he allowed one to pass. “Thank you” you whispered softly, slightly taken back by the way he looked at you. You’re eyes now filled with admiration for the man, you admired how he took the time out of his own busy day to make yours a little easier. He just shook his head at your words, his eyes darting between your eyes and your lips. The air suddenly feeling far to thick for your lungs as he got closer and closer to your face. The heat radiated off your cheeks as you felt his breath blow on you hair gently, each strand slightly tickling your face. Before you could even register what was happening, you felt his lips on yours. You didn’t react at first, taken back by the sudden gesture but as soon as you managed to wrap your head around it, you leaned into his lips kissing him back a little more hungrily than it started. You felt his arm wrap around your waist pushing you on your back gently as he hovered over you. Your hands explored his hair, grasping at it a little as he laid you down so delicately. Your breathing became short and restless as his hands explored the rest of your body, tickling slightly as he allowed his finger tips to tease the hem of your shirt. Oh, that’s hot!

Startled by the voice in your head, you pulled away from a moment only to receive a confused look from Bucky, attempting to ignore it, you pulled him back to your lips, easily falling back into his grasp. I wonder what he does with the metal arm. You groaned slightly at the voice in your head, praying and begging she would just leave, let you have your moment. Of course she didn’t, every so often she would say something to pull you from the moment until you had, had enough. Finally you pushed away from Bucky completely. “Go away!” you shouted, your hands resting on your temples. Bucky seemed a little taken back by your sudden out burst, sitting up right on the bed. “I thought you wanted to –“ he started before you turned your attention to him, a defeated look on your face. “No, I do – I really do but” now turning away from him, you could feel your face getting slightly flushed. “She keeps talking to me” you admitted only to be met with his laugh. You felt the weight of the mattress shift as he made his way closer to you, you felt the strap of your shirt fall onto your forearm before the sensation of the cold kisses he planted in it place, slowly making his way to your ear. “I know how we can shut her up”

tag list :  @sadbutradbarnes @sweetdayme4427​

[bakubaewritings]

Lost (3)

Todoroki x reader - lost part 3

(part 1)  (part 2)  (part 4)

** so sorry it took a while for this part to come out, I promise part 4 wont take as long, i will try to get it up asap. **

(slight mentions of sex & panic attack)

Having spent the last days of summer break with Dabi, you two had grown much closer. You felt comfortable with him, telling each other all about your lives, families, and pasts. However, there was still one secret you kept form him, your miscarriage. Today was a bit different from your usual schedule. You were heading back to the dorms at UA today to get all your stuff organized before school started. As you left abruptly, you doubted everything was still neat. Dabi had made the decision to tag along with you since it was mostly thanks to his encouragement, you felt so much stronger. Thankfully it looked like the coast was clear; no one had decided to come early and was at the dorms. You and Dabi began to carry your boxes up to your room. It wasn't very many, just some with clothes and decorations for your room. "How many boxes do you have doll? My arms are getting tired," Dabi complained, setting down another box near your bed. You let out a giggle, "I'm sure there's only one more." You told him as you were organizing your dorm room. Dabi grumbled and disappeared behind the door. You reached into one of the open boxes and pulled out a picture frame, the photo was of you and Shoto kissing under a cherry blossom tree from your first year of dating. The two of you had joined your classmates in attending a festival. You had worn a beautiful white and red kimono that matched Shoto's hair, remembering how he blushed when he first saw you made you tear up. You set the frame down next to you on the floor. Reaching into the box once more, this time, you pulled out a sonogram picture. It was your little baby before you found out they had no heartbeat. You starred down at the picture, your hands becoming shaky, for so long you had been trying to distract yourself from mourning the loss. Still, you couldn't ignore the pain in your chest every time you looked in the mirror. Tears flowed down your cheeks, letting out shaky breaths. Every moment of your isolated depressive months came back to you in a flash. The endless nights of isolated panic and anxiety, a feeling of shame still lingered. "Doll, are you alright?" Dabi's voice pulled you out of your trance. His eyes fell to the small black and white picture in your hands. You wiped the tears from your eyes, 'I'm alright." You were never good at lying, He could see right through your facade. Dabi set the last box down and walked towards you. You moved the picture in an attempt to hide the sonogram from him, but he was too quick. Dabi's eyes went wide as he looked down at the small photo. "Is this?" His voice was quiet, so calm. But there was evident pity and sorrow. You didn't speak a word, you couldn't. It was caught, like a pit in your throat. "Y/n." He wrapped his arms around your frame. His warmth comfort made you feel something you hadn't in so long, you felt safe. You cried into his shoulder for what felt like hours, Dabi caressed you, stroked your hair gently. Finally, you began to run out of tears and stopped crying. You were silent in his warm embrace, his touch felt so soft and warm. Dabi seemed to melt away all the sorrow that had frozen your heart, well almost all of it. Turning your head, your eyes met his own narrow turquoise eyes. They were soft, filled with emotion. His hand cradled the back of your head, "is this what Endeavour been blackmailing you with?" All you could do was give him a small nod. "Does Shoto know?" You shook your head, 'no.' He hugged you even tighter. Cradled in his arms with his back against the bed, his long legs bent so that you could sit on his thighs, your own legs around his waist. Wiping your tear-stained cheeks, your faces were so close. His hot breath tingling your lips as the gap began to get smaller and smaller. "You're so beautiful, please don't cry." He cooed stroking your hair gently, his breath sent shivers your spine. Your lips moved almost on their own as they grazed his. "Y/N?" You jumped in Dabi's arms, like a teenager getting caught with a boy in her room by her parents. You moved backward, but Dabi's hand quickly took hold of your own, pulling you back towards him. With a deep red blush, you looked at the doorway to find Midoriya standing there, a faint blush on his cheeks, but tears in his eyes. "Zuzu," You couldn't help but let out a smile. As you began to stand, Dabi almost protectively tightened his grip on your hand. He didn't wasn't to let go, truth be told he was quite upset your moment had been interrupted. You turned to him, assuring him it was all right, and he let go hesitantly. You practically jumped into the green-haired boy's arms. "Hey, Zu, I missed you." You giggle, wiping the boy's tears away, your arms hugged at his waist tightly, laying your head on his shoulder. Midoriya had his arms wrapped right around you, sobs of happiness fell from his lips as he burst with joy. How he was to see you, and how worried he was, how much he had missed you. You returned with your own kind words, explaining your time away was much needed. Midoriya had become your best friend during your time at UA. In fact, he was almost like a part of your family, like a brother. "Umm, Y/n, who is that?" Midoriya was pointing to Dani, who had stood up from the floor and now leaned against the door frame. He was towering above you and Izuku. 'This guy looks pretty scary.' Midoriya screeched in his own thoughts "Oh, Zu, meet Touya Todoroki." You smiled in between the two boys, "Touya, this is my best friend, Izuku Midoriya." "Touya Todoroki, but please call me Dabi, I'm Y/n's fiancé." Dabi's voice came out in an almost possessive cold tone. It caught both you and Midoriya off guard. You had never could Dabi act like this towards you. "Fiancé?" Midoriya stuttered out confused "Dabi! You can't just come out and say that everyone's going to think I'm a whore for being engaged to my ex-boyfriend's brother." You scolded the tall, dark-haired man. Your angered tone caught him off guard, but he retained his calm composure best he could. "I'm sorry, would you prefer, hi I'm Touya, but please call me Dabi, and Y/n and I are engaged because my father set us up on an arranged marriage." He chuckled amusingly, you shook your head. Poor Midoriya was so confused, his mouth damn near the floor. "No, I would prefer you not to tell anyone we are engaged." You poked his chest roughly, your glare at him sharply. Turning over to Midoriya you sighed heavily, 'looks like the cats out of the bag, at least it's only Midoriya.' "Zu, please do not tell anyone, I'm waiting until we graduate to even make it "official." A lot of things happened during the break-." "But, I don't understand, why?" he interrupted you, his fists were balled up at his sides. His face screaming of confusion, anger, and even regret. Midoriya had been struggling a lot since you left. He developed a deep resentment for Todoroki after what had happened, and he felt awful that he couldn't help you. For much of summer break, he imagined how lonely and heartbroken you must have felt, and now when you were finally back, everything seemed more of a mess. Dabi placer a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Your answer is actually quite simple. The devil works hard, but Endeavor works harder." Midoriya's gaze fell to you, his eyes softened and filled with worry. "You aren't doing this out of your own, will are you?" His voice came out shaky, but the anger couldn't be ignored. You trusted him, you trusted Midoriya with your own life, so you told him. " Endeavor is blackmailing me. After Shoto and I broke up, I spent the summer break at my grandmother's, and then he showed up. He-" "He's a jackass." Dabi scoffed Midoriya nodded in agreement. "What is he blackmailing you with? Maybe we can talk to him; it couldn't be that serious that you should throw your whole life away to marry someone," he turned to Dabi, who had a scowl on his face. "No offense." You looked down at your feet, "it...it's.." Dabi's arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you towards his chest. Your gaze never left the floor. Your hands reached up to cup your face, you felt hot tears once again fall from your e/c eyes. Taking a deep breath, you spoke, "months ago, before Todoroki and I broke up. He started becoming distant, at first I didn't want to pry." Your words were shaky despite your attempts to be coherent. Dabi pulled you even closer, you could hear his heartbeat in your ears. "Doll it's alright you don't have to-" "I blamed myself for him being distant, so I thought. Maybe if I had sex with him, it would make him love me again, make him stay. But I got pregnant." A gasp came from Midoriya. Your gaze refused to leave the ground, but you could feel his eyes on you. "I didn't find out until a while ago, but when I found out, the baby didn't have a heartbeat. All my stress and depression after what happened, I just-" You collapsed onto the ground, breaking down hysterically. Your words were incoherent as coughs and sobs escaped your lips every time you attempted to speak. Both boys were now embracing you, and although you appreciated the love, it felt like it was becoming claustrophobic. "Please, I can't breathe." You inhaled in an attempt to fill your lungs with oxygen. "Y/n, are you alright?" Midoriya asked "I- I don't. I can't breathe." "She is having a panic attack," Dabi lifted you up into his arms. "She's cold," "We have to get her to the hospital." Midoriya cried You were still having trouble breathing, gripping Dabi's shirt so tightly your knuckles were white. Everything around you was incredibly blurry, the whole room was spinning. "Don't pass out Y/n, please." Dabi's voice was so quiet. He stuttered a little, almost like he was trying not to cry. But you couldn't, your eyelids were so heavy. Your brain felt as though it was pounding against your skull. You began to fade in and out until darkness overcame you. . . A loud, beeping sound woke you up. Opening your eyes to take in your surroundings, you were in a hospital room with an IV in your arm and monitors. Midoriya and Dabi were slumped in the chairs next to the bed. You sat up slowly, taking a deep breath. There were footsteps outside the door, along with some familiar voices. Your heart began beating quickly. In walked in some of your closest classmates, even Bakugo was there, with a scowl on his face. You were thankful that it wasn't everyone who had come. Seeing everyone at once felt like a little too much to handle for one day, especially since Todoroki and Momo weren't there. Kirishima carried with him a teddy bear, Ochacco with ballons, and Iida a bouquet of flowers. "What are you guys doing here?" You were shocked, happy, but very shocked. Kaminari practically dove towards you and snuggled up at your sides like a kitten, his arms wrapped around your waist. "We came to see if you were alright, Midoriya texted you were back." Ochaco smiled, walking towards you, to give you a hug. "Thank you guys, I missed you all so much." "We are so glad you're back and safe, Y/n." Mina chirped "Are you alright, Y/n? We haven't seen you since-" Tokoyami asked "I am, I needed a break away from everything. But I guess I wasn't fully ready to deal with everything since I ended up in the hospital." You scratched the back of your neck. "Midoriya said you had a panic attack, and your blood pressure dropped," Iida informed you. "oh," You looked over to Dabi and Midoriya, who was now waking up. Midoriya rubbed his eye gently when he noticed everyone in the room he smiled. "You guys came." "We did. We wanted to make sure our little Y/n was alright," Kaminari said, finally letting go of you and walking over towards Kirishima and Mina. Dabi stood up from the seat, taking the opportunity to stretch. Dabi toward over most of your classmates. He placed his large hand on your head, "you scared me, idiot." You looked up at him with big doe eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm alright, though." "Umm Y/n, who's your friend?" Ochaco asked curiously "Oh right guys this is T-" "Dabi, you can call me Dabi. Pleased to meet you all, Y/n has spoken highly of all of you." Your classmates began introducing themselves to Dabi, one by one. Everything seemed to be so peaceful, everyone talking like how it was before everything. That was until your stomach began growling. Everyone seemed to turn to you, a blush crept onto your cheeks in embarrassment. "Hey, you hungry, Y/n?" Midoriya asked You nodded, "yeah, actually." Kaminari decided to perk up, "Come on, guys, our Y/n is hungry. Let's go on a mission to get some food!" He cheered, causing you and everyone else to laugh. "Hey, stop yelling, idiot. We are in a hospital," Bakugo yelled angrily at Kaminari. "Bakugo, you're not helping your case by yelling yourself." Iida pointed out "You guys go on, I'll stay here with Y/n," Dabi told them. "I'll stay too." Midoriya and Ochaco jumped in "You guys don't have to, I'll be fine. Go get food for yourselves as well, and bring me something good, like (favorite food)!" You perked up thinking yummy food. "Are you sure Y/n?" Midoriya asked. You sent gave him a nod and a smile, assuring him it was alright. Dabi planted a kiss onto your forehead, "be a safe doll, don't go passing out on me again." You blushed a deep red color. Everyone else in the room was shocked as well. "you got it." Your voice came out as more of a squeal. "We'll be right back, Y/n." Kirishima waved "Don't go anywhere." Joked Mina "See ya in a bit Doll." After everyone was gone, you finally let out a shriek of embarrassment, letting your head fall back onto the pillows. Dabi was gonna get an ear full when you two were alone. There was the sound of the door opening again. You thought it was probably of your classmates who had forgotten something; to be honest, you were quiet, hoping it was Dabi. You lifted your head up from the bed to look at who had walked in, only to have your world stop. Staring back at you were a pair of tear-filled heterochromatic eyes.

[adramaticbeauty]

Gruvia Band AU

Lol I know this is trash but I just wanted to try it 🤷.

"Thanks a lot Nastu, now we only have 2 hours to practice!" Gray yelled as Nastu strolled through the door of the band's practice room. 

Nastu rolled his eyes at Gray's comment and instead smirked.

"I had something important to do. And you guys should be thanking me for being late. I got us tickets to’ The Fairy's’ concert tonight."

Nastu had a mischievous smile on his face as he held out 3 tickets. Gajeel, who had been tuning his guitar in the back of the room, perked his head up and glared at Natsu.

"You were late for practice getting us tickets to the damn Fairy's concert? You do know we have our own concert coming up right? We have to practice a lot in order to maintain our number 1 spot on the Fiore music charts."Gajeel grunted as he glared at Natsu.

"You think I'm stupid? I know that!"Nastu snapped."But I thought we could check out the competition you know? Plus that Lucy girl is pretty cute, you know?"Nastu snickered. 

Gajeel rolled his eyes and Gray scowled.

"Can we go?”Nastu pleaded.”Who knows, we might even be able to meet them!"

Nastu sounded really excited but Gajeel and Gray could care less about a concert. 

"You can go by yourself Nastu. Now let's practice." Gray was getting irritated.

"But you know these girls are right on our tails on the music charts and they just started their band!! We could probably lose our place to them anytime. We need to see how good these girls are, not just on TV, but in person!" Nastu huffed. 

Gray rolled his eyes in distaste."Fine. If you'll finally start practice we can both go." Gray motioned to both him and Gajeel.

"Now wait a second, I never agreed-" Gajeel was cut off by Gray and his loud sighing." Gajeel please, man. I just want him to shut the hell up. Besides, it's not like you have anything else to do. All you do is stay cooped up in your house anyway. And it’s not like you have a girlfriend." 

"Not like you do either!"Gajeel barked." I have plenty of ladies, Gajeel!" Gray countered.

"Yeah plenty of sluts." Gajeel mumbled, but Gray didn't hear him.

Everyone knew about Gray’s infamous title as a player, that hooked up with ladies left and right.

"Alright let's go- wait where the hell is Jellal? He was in this room!" Gray slapped his forehead in annoyance.

" Oh, he's going to the concert too. He was the one who hooked us up with the tickets from one of his 'old friends'. Anyway, he met me earlier and gave me these tickets and said he was coming back." Nastu shrugged.

"Ughh let's just go home." Gray huffed."We will meet up later for the concert anyway so we will practice late. No excuses."

"What the hell Gray?! You can't do that, your only the bassist! Your not even in charge!" Nastu shouted. 

"That’s cool. Got nothin’ to do anyway." Gajeel butted in.

 As Nastu had a tantrum, Gray texted Jellal there would be no practice until after the concert. Everyone left for the day and met up at 9 o'clock at night for the concert. They all had to wear disguises as they were a pretty popular band. 

Gray fussed out Jellal for leaving when he knew they had to practice of course, and Jellal apologized profusely when they met up. They gave the ticket collector their tickets and walked inside the crowded area. There was plenty of people crowded together,pushing and shoving to get to the front before the concert started. Gray, Nastu, Jellal and Gajeel managed to get to the front, and soon the lights shut off and blinding lights shone on the stage. The band came on the stage, as their arrival cued the loud screams. The boys silently watched while the girls stepped on the stage and got ready to play. 

Gray’s eyes were glued to a certain blue-haired girl with wavy,curly hair on the stage, one that played the lead  guitar and was also the lead singer. As the concert started, Gray was entranced with her movements on stage and her beautiful voice that echoed all over the room. She was beautiful and her voice was powerful. Her voice and looks were so mesmerizing to Gray,he only got a glimpse of the other girls. It was like Gray and this mysterious blue haired girl were the only people in the room to Gray. The way she moved her body was so hypnotizing and her movements were so fluid, as if her body was made of water. 

“Nastu...who is that blue-haired girl that is singing…?” Gray asked without even looking at him.

”Hm? Oh that is Juvia. She used to be apart of Gajeel’s old band! Funny right?” Nastu laughed. 

Just then Juvia’s blue eyes flickered to Gray’s and it seemed like time stopped  for Gray. It felt like she was staring into his soul,seeing every part of him. Then she broke eye contact and looked elsewhere. She wasn’t even looking  at him anymore but his heart was still beating so fast, it felt like it would burst out his chest.

The concert was over in no time and Gray was determined to meet this woman. He didn’t know why but he was instantly attracted to her, like a magnet.

“Why do you want to suddenly meet the girls now? You didn’t even want to come here before! “ Nastu asked curiously tagging along behind Gray.

”I...don’t know. I just feel like...I don’t know!”Gray replied frustrated.

He couldn’t explain it but he felt it. He came backstage with the boys and was stopped by a bald bodyguard with a menacing glare.

”You can’t go any further! Scram kids, unless you have a backstage pass.” The bodyguard snarled.

Just then a scarlet-haired woman walked up to the guard and put her hand on his shoulder.

”It’s alright, Nick. This is my friend, and his bandmates.”

The woman motioned to Jellal and he just nervously smiled as he walked over to the red-haired woman. The woman looked familiar to Gray. Then it hit him. She was the woman on drums in The Fairies band.He remembered taking a glimpse of her on-stage.

”Anyway, I’m Erza the leader of the band. Come on you guys. I can introduce you to the other girls if you want. I’m sure they would be happy to meet you, as most of them are big fans!” Erza laughed.

Nastu nodded his head furiously while Gray tried to seem indifferent by shrugging his shoulders. But inside his heart was beating faster than it ever was. They soon came to a metal door that read ‘Lounge area-Backstage only’ and the woman with scarlet hair opened it. All the girls were excitedly talking while sitting on the couch. The blond haired girl Nastu had mentioned before, had her mouth dropped open when she noticed them standing at the door.

”Girls...look.” The blond whispered quietly.

 The other girls turned around and all had suprised looks on their faces.

”Girls, may I introduce you to,’The Dragonflies’! Guys, this is Lucy, Levy and Juvia.”Erza smiled.

”Omg!Omg!” The blond haired girl screeched while holding Levy’s hand and jumping excitedly.

”We LOVE your guys’ music!!” They both excitedly jumped off the couch and scrambled to introduce themselves. 

Gray noticed Juvia, who was still on the couch, observing them with a  blank stare. Gray felt her eyes on him, and he felt nervous all over again. But the other girls were celebrating and conversating with the guys while, she just sat there. Gray worked up the courage to walk over to her and introduce himself.

”Hey! My name is Gray. You probably already know that though.”Gray laughed as he put on his best flirty and confident smile.

But Juvia showed no recognition as she had a confused and awkward look on her face.

”Umm...Juvia did not know who you were…”

Gray was now really confused. Hadn’t this girl ever heard of ‘The Dragonflies’ band?

”You know. Gray...from the band ’The Dragonflies’?” 

Juvia thought for a second and suddenly her eyes lit up.’She finally recognized me. I thought this girl was nuts for a second’, Gray thought.

”Your those guys that Gajeel-kun is apart of now! The band I wasn’t a big fan of! Juvia loves Gajeel-kun and all, but he was much better in Phantom Lord!!” Juvia pointed out.

 Gray’s face dropped. What just happened. Did she just...admit she didn’t like their music?

Okay I'm done. I just had this idea in my head and it had to come out🤣 I was going to write more but tumblr probably wont let me put that many words(I know from experience)

[burnedbyshoto]

I wanna start a blog where I write any advice?? I’m lost I don’t know what to dooo please HELP

oh my… you’re coming to me??? for help????? i just… okay…

um

so, as you may or may not know i had started writing for shouto since about… march last year but it was an OC, and then i finally built up the courage to submit my writings for people to read here… also i didnt proofread any of this im waaaay too tired but i wanted to put this out asap for you!!!!!!

this is what i did!:

i created a whole new blog tbh. my old blog is hella old and i never really did anything on it except like literally everything, so if youre curious about what it is youll be disappointed because i haven’t reblogged anything on there in 4 years. i know, i was a terrible supporter of writers and artists back then!!!!!!

created an account with the name burnedbyshouto hated the way the u ruined the symmetry of the title so i made it burnedbyshoto! LMAO if you were curious about that. i went in knowing that i what i was gonna write!

before i created the blog i actually had my first piece ready, idk if you read it but its Watermelon Seeds and Strawberry Milk. that was my first piece and let me tell you i almost cried when i uploaded it. i didnt get a single note on it until 3 days later. now that was the scariest thing ever.

i didnt go looking for help, and i certainly didnt have a single tumblr friend. so i had to wait for my post to show up on the tags! turns out it didnt show up for 3 days!!!!! so if you get around to starting this blog, and would like me to read it ;) ill gladly give you exposure!! because i get it, that first piece is the hardest thing to upload. i was panicking to the point i was nauseous those entire 3 days when i wasn’t getting any attention from it because i thought it meant i was a failure at writing! so you have to be patient and be confident!!!! by day 4 my post had hit 20 likes and i literally messaged everyone who liked that first post because it was world changing to me. i honestly cried as i sent out my thank you’s and those first few likers and followers i remember their urls and im positive im following them all because they’re the ones who got me to say “maybe… my writings aren’t as bad as i thought!”

spurred into action by this new found courage i began working on ideas. i had two at the time, both for shouto (of course). and i got my first ask by ashtheteenagewitch (i wont tag her because i dont want to disturb her, but her ask changed my life). it was the childhood friends to lovers troupe, and it was the first post i made that hit over 100 likes. i sobbed when it broke 100. 

so it kinda,,,, snowballed from there. i started a schedule. i post once a day around 12 pm - 4 pm PST idk if any of you noticed that LOL. i tried going between original content and asks, something ive been lacking clearly on nowadays because i have so many requests! dont get me wrong, i love all the requests that come my way but i havent had time in awhile to write something that comes from me.  but again im not as creative as my requesters, love every single one of you requesters btw. you save me a lot of headaches and pain.

i made sure to create a rules list, and a masterlist soon after, and then i started getting attention i guess. since i primarily stayed within shouto in the beginning and i posted once a day when other writers are focused on other posts i must have gotten the “i just want new content” people liking my posts LOL

i dont know… i can’t say for certain what the trick is to all this…

you just… have got to be confident in yourself!

do what you love to do and your followers and readers will see that. pour your heart into it so that way no one can say it was for naught. never be discouraged, like i almost was, by lack of notes. because guess what! if youre happy writing, theres nothing else that matters!!!! nowadays i don’t even look at my notes because im proud of everything i put out.

im happy about every single one of the things i put out, my only fear is that the requester wont like it, but so far i haven’t heard back from too many of those anons… since theyre anon and wont be informed i finally got to their ask…. but yeah. 

write and post because YOU LOVE TO DO IT stop caring about stupid things like followers, likes, reblogs, and replies. i mean theyre great, i love every follower i get, i smile knowing i made a bunch of people happy, and i cry with every reblog i get. but getting that first like is all i need to be happy. nothing more. 

the final advice i can give to you is just,,, never compare your writing with other authors and writers. everyone has their own style! don’t get me wrong i can tag so many writers that i admire who all have different ways of writing that i wish i had, but the thing is no matter how much i wish i had their writing, i have to live with mine and i love my style even though i feel that it on the blander side of things! you also can never compare your number of notes to other people LOL of course the super incredible authors of our fandom are going to have 1,924 notes on their 1.7k scenario. why? because they first and foremost have the followers to get that amount and then people who may not follow them can still see it on the popular and read it and like it, or whatever they may do. i currently have like 650 followers so of course im not expecting 1.9k notes on anything im putting out! i mean my first piece had 20 notes for the entire month of august and now im pretty sure its at 100. its all about giving it time and patience.

just write bby and someone will love you for it!!!!!!

[kkamist]

tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down  - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

w1

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,,  id do anything for him tbh ,,  also bjy wasnt even mentioned in  2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great  :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids  (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-) 

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,, 

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))

[wonderfulworldofwinchester]

Old News, New Beginning

Dean x Reader 

Request By @pandazombie69 : “Can i get a deadn x reader where dean and the reader are best friends who flirt and stuff but neither have confessed anything. They hang out allot and tell things to each other and share with each other wherw they wont anyone else. Then one night it just explodes. All their feelings come out and stuff. Can be angst to lemon please (not full on smut).”

Warnings: A smidge of language, a slight mention of anxiety if you squint hard. (Like literally it just says the word, do details.) Let me know if something should be added. 

This is unedited, apologies for any mistakes, or anything that’s kinda funky lol 

A/N: What a whirlwind the last 2 weeks have been. My summer has quickly come to close, and I have gone back to work. If you don’t know, I work in special ed at an elementary school, so my hands are pretty full on weekdays. After we get through the first couple weeks of school, I will have more time to write. I apologize for the wait time for these requests, and I thank you for your patience. 

I added a To Do List to my description! Now you can access what posts or fics I am currently working on anytime! 

Masterlist           To Do List

Best friends. That was the term you used to describe your relationship with Dean Winchester. There was nothing wrong with that. It’s not like it was inaccurate. The two of you had long since earned that title. From the time you had met many many years ago, you had a connection that no one could question. You did everything together, ordered the same drinks, listened to the same music, shared the same sense of humor. It was everything you could want in a best friends type relationship.

While saying your relationship was being best friends wasn’t inaccurate, it wasn’t totally accurate either. A few years back you had started dancing along the lines of something more. The harmless joking became more and more like flirting, until it was outright shameless flirting. You two had something more going on than what either of you let on. Even a blind man standing a mile away could see that. Of course that didn’t matter. Neither of you would acknowledge it, let alone act on it. Your asses had been called out many, many times by some sweet old lady either in a store, or some times on a hunt, which almost always led to an awkward car ride, or some pitiful attempt to divert the conversation. 

The two of you knew it was pathetic that you tried to hard to bury what nothing could hide. You had a bond that was unbreakable. The man knew things about you, you weren’t even sure you knew about. He had always been so easy for you to talk to, and confide in when you needed that love and support. He knew the depths or your despair, and the darkest of that dark hollows your fears had left within you, and still he never once looked at you as any weaker, or less than you had always been. There were also many nights that the man who is gruff and intimidating by day would find his way into your room, and under the cover to seek shelter from the things that kept him up at night. The things he could tell no one, not even Sam. He didn’t tell you of any of them at first, afraid he would scare you aware, or you would take pity on him. It didn’t take long for hat charade to drop. After only a couple weeks, he would no longer try and hide the hurt and pain. He would curl up with you and tell you what had him so undone. You knew his most painful memories, his baggage, and what would paralyze him with fear and anxiety. You were more than bet friends, if you could even truly call it that anymore. 

These behaviors and tendencies were what made up your relationship. It was all you knew, and all you thought you’d ever know. One night, after a night of some heavy post hunt celebrations, you had been feeling pretty good. The drinks had taken their toll for sure. You were nowhere near fall down drunk, but you and Dean had enough to really dull down the edge you were constantly on, making this equally as risky as it was rewarding.

The feeling you had for the older brother had been building since day one. That was no question. However, the fast few months had been like someone amped them up. You were both constantly on edge, which was such a new feeling for both of you. It had never been that way before. The feeling was so new and foreign, you felt a buzz of excitement, but that was coupled with a twinge of fear. You like the idea that something you had been biting back for a few week might accidentally slip past your lips, or even better his. 

The minute the two of you were sitting alone in the bunker’s kitchen, polishing off what was left in the glasses you held, he came around the table and sat down so close that neither of you could breathe without at least your arms brushing. You never felt uneasy around him, but tonight, he was making your all kinds of nervous, but in all the right ways. If was like your bodies could sense your guards letting down, and were plotting against you, planning for the feeling to come rushing out. Your little trip down the rabbit trail in your mind was cut short when you could feel the fanning of his breath against your cheek, making a few stray strands of hair flutter in the slightest. “Wha-huh?” Did you really just blush and stutter. 

“Where did your mind you just now?” He inquired, tilting his head at you. Like always he could sense when something was off, and he truly wanted to now what, and why. 

You shook you head, “It was nothing. Just tired and zoned out after a long day i guess.” 

The look he gave you told you he wasn’t buying that crap for one second. “Really, I was kind hoping you were thinking th same thing I was” 

“What exactly is that?” 

“This.” He said, slightly motioning his head towards the space between the tow of you as if to describe the current state of your relationship. 

“Okay...”

“Okay?” He shot his eyes up to meet yours, “That’s all you’re going to say?”  “What do you want me to say, Dean?” You stood up from your chair and started pacing in the small space by the table. “That I am in love with you. With how your eyes light up, and there are those little crinkles when you laugh. With the way you never seem to be able to give enough of yourself. The way you still find joy in the little thing even in the midst of this shit show of a life we live. The way you can be so big and bad, but also the biggest teddy bear ever. The way you make me laugh with out a single word, or the way you hold me when I cry. Or-” 

He stood up from the table as well, “I may not have been thinking those exact things, but yes, you are on the same train of thought as I am. You see, the day I met you, all those years ago, the time when the world would have considered us to still be kids, I knew you were going to change my life. I may not have known exactly how, but I knew you would. Little did I know, you would be the ray of sunshine on the stormy days we have in this life. I didn’t know I would have someone who gets my humor, or could make me smile the way you do. I didn’t know I would get someone who sees my baggage but chooses not to let it define me. Some one who could listen to me cry my eyes out over a bad dream, and still look at me like I was some kind of superhero. Someone who is so much more than just a best friend. I am in love you. Your laugh. With the way your eyes shift in color ever so slightly depending on the light. With the way your heart abounds with love for people even when have made some piss poor decisions. You see things in ways I never could. You see me in ways I never could. I love everything about you, and I can’t pretend that I don’t anymore.” 

The room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop, neither of you knowing what to say. Finally you broke the silence. “So... what does this mean for us.” 

“I don’t know exactly.” He stepped closer to you, your eyes locked on each other, and his arms circled around your waist, “But I do know that I want to do this.” His lips collided with yours in a fiery yet still soft and loving kiss. It was one that was made up of all the memories from the many years you’d shared together. It represented the building and building of feelings that had finally exploded. There was no telling how long you had stood there lip locked with your best friend, just making out, and feeling all of each other. 

You broke away, out of breath, dawning the goofiest smiles. “So does this mean I can just start the night in your room now, or do I have to wait until have way through to join you?” He wiggled eyebrows suggestively as he spoke. 

“Oh my god. You’re such a dork.” 

That night could be summarized as Old news, New beginning. 

If you would like to be added to one of my tag lists, just ask :)  I have 3 main lists: The Anything and Everything, The Sammy Boy, and The Deano. Feel free to ask about other characters/ types of fics/posts :)  I love Y’all!!! 

The Anything And Everything Tag List: @tillielynn16 @fandomaskedstuff @saltysamgirls @naruko88558855 @hillface89 @unusualcorn

The Deano Tag List:  @angelofchaos @straitsupernaturalmalefan @kayladools

[weallneedsomethingtobelievein]

1-98 :)

how tall are you? i’m 5′3

what is your body type? my body type? um I guess you’d say i’m overweight. but working on it :)

what is your favorite part about your body? I’d probably go with my hair and my lips. but I can honestly say I love my whole body.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? I think it is mostly. I have some blonde in it that hasn't grown out yet though.

are you more outgoing or more shy? more shy 100%

are you more femme or butch? im somewhere in the middle, but id say I lean towards the more femme side.

are you tol or smol? smol, as @cunnningstunt likes to point out all the time.

wine mom or vodka aunt? prob the wine mom.

weird habit? 

favorite meme?

do you sing in the shower? from time to time.

ever used a bow and arrow? I haven’t.

are/were you a theatre kid? nope.

have you ever seen a broadway musical? once. I saw the beauty and the beast when I was a kid.

do you think musicals are cheesy? nope. Courtney would kill me if I said yes anyways.

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? nope.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? the first one that comes to mind is “Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole.”

last movie you watched? Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

behind the camera or in front of it? im always behind the camera. and awkward in front of it. but I want pictures taken of me so I don't know where that leaves me lol.

favorite tv show? this is a hard one. Im gonna go with Atypical for right now.

meaning behind your url? I made this my URL over 8 years ago and I think I googles quotes or something, found one I liked and called it a day.

reason you joined tumblr? all my friends had one so I wanted one too. fast forward 8 years and im like the only one still here lmao. well, me and maybe 2 others.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? @cunnningstunt surprise! its you.

what’s something most people love that you hate? 

have you ever taken narcotics? never.

have you had sex? yes.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? im pretty sure my mom walked in on me masturbating once lmao but its a vague memory.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? im straight.

describe your passion without mentioning it. 

describe your best friend.

give us one thing about you that no one knows.

how do you feel right now? I feel content. a lil lonely but content. I actually got to do my hair and get dressed in normal clothes so I feel human.

what is your biggest fear? abandonment.

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? soulmate by lizzo.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?  to stop caring about what others think and doing what makes me happy.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? FUCKING YES.

something you fantasize about. living in my own apartment, driving, and being a functioning adult with healthy relationships.

last time you cried and why? I think it was when I teared up watching This Is Us the other day. But really cried? I can’t remember.

what was the last thing that made you laugh? 

do you really, truly miss someone right now? yessss I do.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Courtney and Adam are two that come to mind.

the last time you felt broken? recently, lamenting about how I feel stuck in my job and my life.

are you starting to realize anything? that im a bad bitch and always have been even if I don't feel like it all the time.

are you more dominant or more submissive? ive been submissive in the past but haven't played around with being dominant so who knows.

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) this is a long list sooooooo.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I tend to go for younger.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

do you have any kinks? I might.

first thing you notice in a person? eyes.

how can someone win your heart? make me laugh and feel important. I also have a tag #waystomyheart on my blog of things Id love.

been rejected by a crush? oh yeah.

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? ^^

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I mean, why not.

is trust a big issue for you? sometimes yeah.

did you hang out with the person you like recently?

is confidence cute? very.

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? not at all.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? yes lmao.

do you want to get married? I don't know if I would again. but I think I would.

worst thing you’ve ever done? slept with a friends ex after they broke up and hung out with her the next day. obviously we’re not friends anymore.

three things that turn you on. (prolonged) eye contact, neck kisses and a pretty smile.

who do you hate? 45.

favorite term of endearment? babe.

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? I didn’t have one.

intimidating girls or kind girls? por que no los dos?

what do you look for in a possible partner? 

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I like more feminine and androgynous girls/nb people.

are you good at flirting? NO LMFAO.

who was the first person you came out to? weirdly enough, my ex husband (then boyfriend). he was really cool about it.

do you have any friends who are wlw? yes.

is your crush wlw?

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

write a short love poem to your crush/self? bitch, you’re worth it.

do you fall in love easily? somewhat.

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? absolutely.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I mean, no.

are you a forgiving person? I try to be.

what is your “type?” man, hell if I know.

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? both.

tall girls or short girls? both.

hugs or kisses? bothhhh.

twirl her around or get twirled? I don't care lol.

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? both are nice for different reasons. but tummy kisses are especially nice because that's something ive always been self conscious about.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? neck.

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? playing with her hair.

making out or soft kisses? how many times do I have to say both.

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? I guess once more cant hurt ^

how confident are you in your sexuality? confident that it wont change? pretty sure, but I’ll never say never. but as far as approaching and flirting with women? absolutely not.

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? yeah both.

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? I did. and I didn’t necessarily tell them but they knew because it was obvious.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I think I was 17 or 18.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? CAZZIE AND FUCK YES.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? “that's hot” fuck you my sexuality isn't for your consumption. I’ve also had “homosexuality is a mental illness” directed at me.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? recently.

what is love to you? 

[sevenhexagons]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

Yoooo @dreamyleofangirl thanks for tagging me this looks fun :D

LAST:

Last drink: W A T E R 

Last phone call: I’m so cool my mom

Last text message: "You got this” received from my gurl eunice she aint here today but shoutout to you hun! (idk if she has tumblr tbh)

Last song you listened to?:The Eden Project : Chasing Ghosts (i know im indie af)

Last time I cried: If you know please tell my therapist, we have been trying to figure that one out in a while

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice: no lmao ive dated once ever period

Been cheated on: I hope not haha

Kissed someone and regretted it: my first kiss was the worst eugh. kissing in general is weird 

Lost someone special: nope which means when i will i will be a trainwreck

Been depressed:hahahahahahaha

Been drunk and thrown up: oooooh boy do i have some stories (once im a nerd)

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: i know like one or two people who like me (i hate them though) (jk i love my friends)

Fallen out of love: yeah kinda? it still hurt when we broke up though

Laughed until you cried: i love when this happens

Met someone who changed you: pretentious douchebag alert: i think every person changes us a bit. and i am greatful for that cause i was a dick at 14

Found out who your true friends are: idk the idea of true friends is stupid. i just hang with people i like till one of us doesnt want to hang anymore. people move on.

Found out someone was talking about you: yeah and boy it sucks

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: like 2

Do you have any pets?: i wish i did but i myself am in need of too much work

Do you want to change your name?: I used to want to be called “lily” or “stella” now i love it!

What time did you wake up this morning?: hahahahaha what is morning (12pm)

What were you doing last night?:  playin sims being super awesome 

Name something you cannot wait for: south park “the fractured but whole!” i cant fucking wait

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: hmmm, only thomas. tom isnt a usual nickname here

What’s getting on your nerves rn?: i am always on my nerves

Blood type: B positive baby B-)

Nickname: Dragon (hell yeah) or Gaga (still hell yeah). also my high school nickname was Big Mac which is like super hell yeah

Relationship status: hahahahahahaha 

Zodiac sign: Aquarius (hit up my aquarius tag for more me!)

Pronouns: she/her or they/them or idk ask me again in a year

Favorite tv show: Rick and Morty (not in a weird way), gumball! and princess sophia (she is awesome what do you mean its a kids show shut up)

College: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

Hair colour: brown/ whatever wig i buy next hahahahaha

Do you have a crush on someone: not telling (its complicated okay)

What do you like about yourself: I am the personification of perfection and i quote memes all day long what isnt there to love???

FIRSTS:

First surgery: at 18 (havent stopped since lmao)

First piercing: I got my ears pierced like 4 more times at 13

First sport you joined: Soccer i think

First vacation: to the grandparents probably 

First pair of sneakers: idk if i ever owned sneakers

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: wish i was

Drinking: W A T E R

I’m about to: Clean my room (i finished like half wohoo)

Listening to: Edeeeeeen

Want kids: if i want a puking loud diaper wearing douchebag in my house ill get someone who can pay rent at least

Get married: i love the idea of getting married but like platonically

Career: I want to be a Starbucks Barista when I grow up :3

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes probably but thats a tough one

Hugs or kisses: hugs aaaaall the way

Shorter or taller: both are equally amazing

Older or younger: since im only 20 anything below me is almost a child so rightnow older

Romantic or spontaneous: i have actually no idea what they mean

Sensitive or loud: with what? i am so confused what? in what way do they relate?

Hook up or relationship: neither hahahaha (i am weird okay but i guess relationship)

Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker tbh but like not mean just up for stupid shit

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: yeah ugh

Drank hard liquor: (i lied about the water its vodka) (im kidding) (yes)

Lost contacts/glasses? during a theme park ride i lost my glasses haha i was blind for two days! that was fun!

Sex on first date: noooooooo

Broken someone’s heart: that would require someone liking me in the first place lmao

Been arrested: no but I wish though

Turned someone down: again that would require someone liking me

Fallen for a friend: idk not really. i do get crushes often though

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself: i would love to say yes but im not quite there yet. But i believe in myself to one day get there!

Miracles: probably

Love at first sight: I fall in love with 3 strangers on the subway each day so yes

Heaven:idk i wont fuck with it though

Santa Claus: he is real shut up

I am tagging @sonotsiobhan @detectiveinspectorme26 @thelasttitanslayer and ofc @ashy-le-mashy

i dont know more people hahahaha

[elfzelda]

Get to know me tag! Tagged by both @someoneinskyloft  and @botwriter ! Thank you ^^ I rarely get tagged in these things and I want to try this!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

I tag…

I do not know many people on here aha so @pipit-crossing @keiiilalei @forestpicori @sunflower-maiden-love @drsupermonk @links-house & @hyrulesword ! (I hope it is alright to tag you all)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My aunt 3. Text message: “Yeah” verbatim, directed at my sister. That is not interesting at all I know haha but I am playing by the rules 4. Song you listened to: The Stable Song performed by Gregory Alan Isakov with the Colorado Symphony 5. Time you cried: Sunday, I currently have a broken heart

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No, I have only had one relationship before. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I have never kissed anyone (I had a long distance relationship) 8. Been cheated on: No  9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: I have had clinical depression on and off since I was 10 years old. Someday I hope I will be free of it 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I can hold my liquor very well, so much so I have never been drunk

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: green, blue, violet  IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I think so

16. Fallen out of love: Yes

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Unsure

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes but I am unsure if it was entirely by them

20. Found out who your friends are: In a way yes. Due to a period of high mental instability as is my wont I stopped communicating with the few friends I had. Only one still talks to me.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Still have not been kissed so no

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them, Facebook is for people I know irl. There are some exceptions

23. Do you have any pets: I have a dog! He is half beagle half dachschund

24. Do you want to change your name: No, I like Aoife actually

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I hate my birthday I always end up sobbing no matter what haha I would rather not think about that accursed day that comes annually

28. Name something you can’t wait for: New adventures! 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Today, since I live with her

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I did not have mental illnesses

31. What are you listening to right now: Song of the Ancients from Nier

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No I do not think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: On my nerves? Nothing I can think of at this exact moment

34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

35. Mole/s: I have two, and the rest are freckles

36. Mark/s: I have a scar on my left thumb from angrily peeling potatoes haha, I also have a scar on the back of my left thigh from scratching it on the fence I climbed over to get to a strawberry patch when I was very little. I have more scars but I will not bore you all haha

37. Childhood dream: To be a model, and a farmer lmao

38. Hair color: Naturally it is auburn. It used to be really red but now it is more brown than red

39. Long or short hair: I recently got a haircut I regret a bit, now it is shoulder length

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not at the moment

41. What do you like about yourself: I do not like much about myself haha I need to change that. I suppose I like that I am patient and kind and trustworthy

42. Piercings: Just my earlobes

43. Blood type: I actually do not know

44. Nickname: At one point people on here called me elfy! I liked that. My father actually calls me that once in a while coincidentally. When I was 9 one of my friends called me lizard. There are not really any nicknames for Aoife, it is two simple syllables after all 

45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac: Aquarius

47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favorite TV Show(s): Game of Thrones

49. Tattoos: Not yet! Hopefully soon

50. Right or left hand: Born left handed but I am ambidextrous

51. Surgery: No

52. Hair dyed in different color: I have dyed it blonde and once I dyed it cherry red with a dye called vampire blood that I had my friend do in her bathroom. It looked awesome

53. Sport: I played footbal (soccer) for about 12 years. I loved it! I ended up quitting because of the people on my team though. I also consider larp a sport too so that as well haha

55. Vacation: I want to go all over the world

56. Pair of trainers: I have one pair for running, I usually prefer boots or oxfords or mary janes or heels haha MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I actually had some mint ice cream not too long ago 59. I’m about to: post this I suppose haha 61. Waiting for: School to start honestly 62. Want: Happiness and peace  63. Get married: I actually want to get married young which may be strange but it has to be with the right person  64. Career: Science/Engineering, I am currently majoring in bioengineering. I wanted to be a violist not too long ago but I decided it would be better if that remained something I did for pleasure 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I have never experienced a kiss so I do not have the proper information to answer this question 66. Lips or eyes: both 67. Shorter or taller: taller  68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both  71. Sensitive or loud: in the middle I suppose? I am not sure what this means 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship for sure 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Nope 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I have been wearing glasses for most of my life and I have not lost them once! 77. Turned someone down: Yes  78. Sex on the first date: I do not think so 79. Broken someone’s heart: I hope not 80. Had your heart broken: Yes, and very recently 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: No lmao 85. Miracles: Maybe 86. Love at first sight: maybe

87. Santa Claus: Of course not haha

88. Kiss on the first date: I suppose so? I have never been on a date either

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I do not have a best friend anymore, he broke my heart 91. Eye color: Green 92. Favorite movie: the Lord of the Rings trilogy will always be dear to me

[firstviicar]

Tagged!

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by: @lapotxca ayyye

the last

1. drink: Diet Root Beer! 2. phone call: Either my best friend or my sister 3. text message: I think to my sister 4. song you listened to: Strip That Down by Liam Payne and Quavo 5. time you cried: I think a few nights ago over some drama I was dealing with 6. dated someone twice: Nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yep 8. been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: I’m always somewhat depressed tbh 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

3 favourite colours

12. Royal Blue  13. Silver 14. Crimson Red

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yep! 16. fallen out of love: Not yet, but it’s plausible to happen 17. laughed until you cried:When do I not lmao 18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes   19. met someone who changed you: I would like to think so! 20. found out who your friends are: Somewhat? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Hell nah 

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: God, like at least 20 people 23. do you have any pets: I consider my grandparents dog my dog 24. do you want to change your name: Not really? 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Hung out with three friends and did dumb shit 26. what time did you wake up: 10:35 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Arguing with people  28. name something you can’t wait for: I’ll be attending Sakura Con this year once more! And hopefully I’ll buy some Kuro cosplay! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: I saw my stepmom on Saturday, then I wont see her till Monday  31. what are you listening to right now: I have Strip That Down on repeat, but I’m gonna change the song to Body Like a Back Road by Sam Hunt on in a second. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Nope 33. something that is getting on your nerves: All of the recent drama that I've dealt with for the last few days. 34. most visited website: Either Facebook or Twitter 35. hair colour: Brown 36. long or short hair: It’s like between both of those 37. do you have a crush on someone: No 38. what do you like about yourself: I actually have no idea 39. piercings: My ears 40. blood type: I actually have no idea 41. nickname: I think it’s just Avi lmao 42. relationship status: Taken 43. zodiac: Leo 44. pronouns: She/her 45. favourite tv show: I’m just gonna say either My Hero Academia or Voltron 46. tattoos: Nope 47. right or left handed: Right handed 48. surgery: None 50. sport: Golf 51. vacation: I want to go to Scotland, Ireland, and Wales  52. pair of trainers: Sketchers I suppose?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: I had a fruit strip  54. drinking: Diet Root Beer 55. I’m about to: Reply to roleplays 56. waiting for: My Grandparents to get me my Laptop 57. want: To feel happy 58. get married: If someone likes me enough for that, sure 59. career: Environmental Scientist 

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Taller 63. older or younger: Older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms I guess?  65. hook up or relationship: Relationship  66. troublemaker or hesitant: Both I suppose? 

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: yep 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: No, I’ve broke a few glasses tho 70. turned someone down: Yep 71. sex on the first date: No 72. broken someone’s heart: Sadly, yes. 73. had your heart broken: A few times  74. been arrested: Nope 75. cried when someone died: Several times 76. fallen for a friend: I guess? 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: Not really 78. miracles: Somewhat 79. love at first sight: eh 80. santa claus: Nope 81. kiss on the first date: No 82. angels: Not really  

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Dark Brown  85. favourite movies: Final Fantasy XV: Kingsglaive, Chernobyl Diaries, Lately I like Phoenix Forgotten as well.  

I´m tagging: I don’t really feel like tagging anyone! But feel free to go ahead and tag yourself!

[littlemermaiids]

I was tagged by @booklovershipper ((thank you so much!!))

Rules: you must answer these 83 statements and tag 20 people Last... 1. drink? a coke icee does that count? 2. phone call? my godmother 3. text message? my best friend 4. song you listened to? can you feel my hear - bring me the horizon 5. time you cried? a few minutes ago over watching an episode of a show that shall remain nameless Have you ever... 6. dated someone twice? unfortunately 7. kissed someone and regretted it? nope 8. been cheated on? as far as i know no 9. lost someone special? yes 10. been depressed? yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up? lol yes favourite colors: 12. turquoise 13. purple 14. yellow in the last year, have you... 15. made new friends? so many. ily you guys so much!!! 16. fallen out of love? nope :) 17. laughed until you cried? all the time 18. found out someone was talking about you? again all the time 19. met someone who changed you? yes i’ll say 20. found out who your friends are? yes 21. kissed somone on your facebook list? i dont have fb soooo 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? I DONT HAVE FB SOOOO 23. do you have any pets? two pretty puppies 24. do you want to change your name? i like to say yes but probably not 25. what did you do for your last birthday? is it sad that i dont remember 26. what time did you wake up? 11 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night? talking to the crazy people in @wonkrunet 28. name something you can’t wait for: sept. 1st 29. when was the last time you saw your mom? five minutes ago 30. what are you listening to right now? at this moment my moms tv - but ive been listening to shelter by porter robinson & madeon on repeat 31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom? idt i have 32. something that is getting on your nerves? my music appreciation teacher 33. most visited website? tumblr stop 34. hair colour? blonde but sometimes pink 35. long or short hair? medium 36. do you have a crush on someone? too many tv and book characters to count...i should say my bf should i? 37. what do you like about yourself? my ability to never go to bed at a decent hour 38. piercings: 8 on my ears, bellybutton 39. blood type: no idea 40. nickname: kate, minnie, poppy, pook, sissy 41. relationship status: taken 42. zodiac: leo 43. pronouns: she/her 44. favourite tv show: the 100, the office, new girl 45. tattoos: i dont have one atm but i want several (a bitch is broke) 46. right or left handed: right 47. surgery: i had a hole in my lung when i was born and in feb had a spinal implant put in 48. sport: havent done a sport since middle school lol 49. vacation: i havent gone on vacation this year 50. pair of trainers: the black and pink nikes 51. eating: costco pizza 52. drinking: dr. pepper 53. im about to: read los before @clarkegryphus hunts me down 54. waiting for?: absolutely nothing 55. want?: for my foot to stop being asleep 56. get married?: it may be happening soon :) 57. career?: be a psychologist for patients with nerve disorders 58. hugs or kisses?: both but if i had to choose kisses 59. lips or eyes?: ugghh eyes 60. shorter or taller?: taller 61. older or younger?: my bf may be two months younger than me.... 62. nice arms or nice stomach?: nice arms 63. hook up or relationship?: relationship 64. troublemaker or hesitant?: troublemaker forsure 65. kissed a stranger: no 66. drank hard liquor: yeeessss 67. lost glasses/contact lenses: all the damn time 68. turned someone down: yup 69. sex on the first date: no 70. broken someones heart: not really sure 71. had your heart broken: im sure at the time it felt like it 72. been arrested: define arrested... 73. cried when someone died: um yes? of course 74. fallen for a friend: AHAHAHAHAHA YES OF COURSE do you believe in... magic 75. yourself? sometimes depends on the day 76. miracles? yes 77. love at first sight? yes 78. santa claus? um. yes. 79. kiss on the first date? yes but its gotta be a good date 80. angels? yes 81. current best friend’s name? EmJay 82. eye colour: hazel 83. favourite movie: pirates of the caribbean

i am going to tag (you all better do it i swear): @bellameblake @flawlessbanshee @alfalfabellamy​ @beliamyblakes​ @belllamyblakes​ @lavander48​ @stilinskikissme​ @danystarqaryen​ @pillowprincesslexa​ @fiercelyclarke​ @taviablake​ @niylah​ @burning-ark​ @bellamybb​ @cabeswaterblakes​ @as-inevitable-as-morning​ @frecklessbellamy​ @bobmorlee​ @clarkegryphus​ (im tagging you two but ik you wont do them)

[shazrystyles]

92 Questions (Tagged)

tagged by: @andromeda117 @zigisbisexual @jessicamckenzie

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Grass jelly wateeeerr...slllrpp 2. Phone call: My mom 3. Text message: From my family group chat 4. Song you listened to: Born by OneRepublic 5. Time you cried: When I found out that Jeff was dead in 13 Reasons Why. RIP Jeff Atkins! You deserved better! *sob sob*

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes..not just twice, but many times. and rn we’re not together anymore..boo hoo hoo..serves me right!

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. Been cheated on: Yep. 9. Lost someone special: mmm...yeah. 10. Been depressed: Yes.. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black 13. Soft pink 14. Blue Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes. I got listed in a room with the roommates who I never talked to..and they turn out to be the greatest people in the world.XD 16. Fallen out of love: mmm..yep! 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes. Me and my roomies making fun of the guys at my school. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Really? I don’t think I’m popular in school so I think NO! But, if there was someone who talked about me, I hope its about something good. 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes. My roomies. They turned me into a K-drama fans.. but rn I’ve changed. I literally had enough with K-drama. 20. Found out who your friends are: Mmm..I still haven’t figured this out yet. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope!

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them. 23. Do you have any pets: Nope. My mom hates pet. But I’d love to have a cat. Maybe when I have my own place to live. 24. Do you want to change your name: Hell, no! I love my name cuz its short and simple.. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My mom treat me to Nandos..mmm...I wish I can eat it again. 26. What time did you wake up: Usually around 6 am. But if I’m so tired, maybe about 9 to 10 am. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with people in the fandom and finishing my drawings. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: DUNKIRK to be released in my country! (Mainly because Harry Styles in it XD) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Just a few minutes ago.. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I’m fucking rich so that I can buy many diamonds supplies in Choices! 31. What are you listening right now: I’m listening to the sound of the wind~(from my fan). 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Wait...who’s Tom? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My siblings. 34. Most visited Website: Of course, Tumblr! I kinda get addicted to it recently. 35. Mole/s: Its in a hidden spot..Not gonna tell you. huhuhu 36. Mark/s: Yes. Scars on my legs cuz I always injured when I was small. 37. Childhood dream: I wish I could be a Manga-ka. but...I’m pursuing on a different path rn for my parents’ sake. 38. Hair color: Mainly black. Never dyed it before. 39. Long or short hair: Long straight hair. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Ow, Yes! For the time being, mainly its just a celebrity crush. 41. What do you like about yourself: Err..mmmm.. hmmm!!! I dunno. Huhu. 42. Piercings: Nope! Never! 43. Blood type: B 44. Nickname: Shaza (that’s my real name), Shaz, Shazy, Caja, Charger..??(Ok this one from my childhood friends. I dunno how they came up with the name Charger)

45. Status: I’m single and I know it. 46. Zodiac: Aquarius 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show/s: 13 Reasons Why, Stranger Things, Littlest Big Shots. 49. Tattoos: No and never gonna do it. The only tattoo I’d did on my body is Henna tattoos cuz its not permanent, so I wont hve any regrets if I hate it. 50. Right or left hand: Right hand. 51. Surgery: Nope and I wish never..huhu. 52. Hair dyed in different color: No. My mom would get mad at me. 53. Sport: Softball. But there’s none in my recent school. so maybe sleep as a sport. 55. Vacation: I’d love to go to Paris, London, New York, KOREA, Phillippines, and etc. But unfortunately, I’m broke. 56. Pair of trainers: Yes..stuck in my shoerack. getting all dusty lol.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Just ate some Chicken Nuggetssss... 58. Drinking: Haven’t drink anything yet. 59. I’m about to: take a bath but I’m so lazy rn. 61. Waiting for: school cuz I cant wait to see new faces (hopefully some hot guys). 62. Want: To stay in bed all day long without anyone disturbing me. 63. Get married: Yes..I’d love to see how my babies looks like. lololol 64. Career: Not yet. Still a student. Maybe I’m gonna be a pharmacist. But who knows what the future holds. 65. Hugs or kisses: Both. 66. Lips or eyes: Both. Depends on which one is the most nice to look at..hehe 67. Shorter or taller: Of course, taller! 68. Older or younger: Older. Cuz I need someone who’s matured enough who can handle my unmaturedness.. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: BOTH! XD Do you really have to ask? 71. Sensitive or loud: Loud maybe..I’m not sure about this. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship is better. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Nope! 75. Drank hard liquor: Never! 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope. I don’t wear glasses or lenses. 77. Turned someone down: Yes. Just a few days ago. 78. Sex in the first date: Nah to the ah to the no no no! 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes. 80. Had your heart broken: Ow YES! Many times. 81. Been arrested: Nope and I hope not in the future. 82. Cried when someone died: Yes, if that person is very close to me. 83. Fallen for a friend: Nopezzz...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. 85. Miracles: Yes! 86. Love at first sight: Maybe no. 87. Santa Claus: No 88. Kiss on the first date: Nope. I dunno...I don’t date much. 89. Angels: Yes.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: Thesaaa!!! @andromeda117 , and Aini. 91. Eyecolor: Brownish black. lol. 92. Favorite movie: Fifty Shades...UHUK UHUK..of Grey..UHUK UHUK..and Darker..UHUK UHUK.. EHEM! Ok, whats the question again? XD

Phew...what a long questions it is!

So now ur guys turn!

@marsydrowninginfandoms @quinn-kelly @jakemckenzieappreciationlife @everythingchoices @peepeetah @mermaidwarriorqueen

[wishedraven]

...SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG...

Tagged by @markhyuck-is-real-af thanks again sis!!

RULES: You must answer this 92 statements and tag 20 people. Damn that's a lot of people for my shy ass

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: Fruit juice

2. PHONE CALL: One of my bff to bake some brownies for our other bff

3. TEXT MESSAGE: Again to the same bff talking about the arrival of one of our friends which I won't be able to see:(((

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: LOTTO(remix)-Seventeen

5. TIME YOU CRIED: At DISNEYLAND PARIS WITH MY BFFS WATCHING THE SPECTACLE OF LIGHTS GDI SO BEAUTIFUL

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: I've never dated so

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: I've never kissed either

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: A little bit difficult

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes:(

10. BEN DEPRESSED: Not really depressed just sad a lot

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: I'm the only one of my friends who knows how to handle alcohol so never;)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14: Blue, pink, purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yep quite a lot

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: I only love my fam, friends...

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yup

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE TALKING ABOUT YOU: Yup my friends are terrible at surprise parties...

19. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: Yup

20. KISSED SOMEONE OF YOUR FACEBOOK: Nope

GENERAL:

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: ALL

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: No:(

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: I LOVE MY NAME SO NOPE

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: I went to a party with my bffs and my belgian correspondent, i had soooo much fun

26. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP: Veeery late 11-12 unless I have something to do

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Reading fanfics in general

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN´T WAIT FOR: Going on vacations and seeing my friends ITS BEEN A WHOLE YESR!!!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: RN she is behind me with my grandma, they don't know english so the coast is clear

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: My shyness, its so tiring

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RN: Love Paint-Nu'est

32. HAVE YOU VER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Nope

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: THIS CAUSE I DONT KNOW HOE O UCKIG TYPE1!!

34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Tumblr, this bitch

35. ELEMENTARY: Finished

36. HIGH SCHOOL: Last year

37. COLLEGE: Not yet

38. HAIRCOLOUR: Dark blonde

39. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Long

40. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: If idols and people who don't exist count then yes

41. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I'm very loyal, once I'm your friend I'll stick with you till the end of the world unless you do me dirty

42. PIERCINGS: Just the typical earrings

43. BLOODTYPE: A+ I think

44. NICKNAME: Nallino(mama nallino), Nai, Nalli...

45. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: As single as a pringle ;D

46. PRONOUNS: She/her

47. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: Game of Thrones

48. TATOOS: None

49. RIGHT OR LEFT: Right handed

50. SURGERY: Nope

51. PIERCNGS: Already answered

52. SPORT: I'm pretty good at any sport with a raquet or however you say it, baseball and swimming

53. VACATION: Guardamar del Segura ala a ver que haceis con esta info :D

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: Adidas?

MORE GENERAL:

55. EATING: I LOVE CHOCOLATE

56. DRINKING: *wild Joshua appears* DRINK WATER!:D im so funny

57. I'M ABOUT TO: Dance while making weird faces thats moi

58. WAITING FOR: Going to Guardamar

59. WANT: To meet all my internet friends in real life

60. GET MARRIED: I've always wanted to get married

61. CAREER: International relations

WHICH IS BETTER:

62. HUGS OR KISSES: I like hugs

63. LIPS OR EYES: The eyes are the windows to the soul(spanish saying)

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: I don't care I like both

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: I don't care either, I'm the oldest most of the time but I'm used to both

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: TF, I don't really pay attention to that, my friends are normally like hey look at those arms Nalli and I'm like oh aha, so yeah be nice and I like you

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Both but a little bit more sensitive

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Depends on the situation, friends hesitant, cousins troublemaker(Uxue queridaaa)

HAVE YOU EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: Nope

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: A sip

72. LOST GLASSES/LENSES: Nope

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Twice

74. SEX IN THE FIRST DATE: I'M PURE HOW DARE YOU

75. BROKE SOMEONE'S HEART: Sure hope not

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: Quite a lot of times

77. BEEN ARRESTED: *sigh* PUREEEEE

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Yes

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: YES AND SHE IS STRAIGHT THANK GOD IT PASSED

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: Sometimes

81. MIRACLES: I'm an atheist so not really

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Well I believe that love is something that grows with time, but attraction at first sight

83. SANTA CLAUS: Where I live its Los Reyes Magos ad El Olentzero, but no

84. KISS IN THE FIRST DATE: Depends on the person I guess

85. ANGELS: I've met plenty of them<3

OTHER:

86. CURRENT BFF NAME: Helen, Ana, Raquelx2, Pearlie, Isabelle, Estela, Athena(we need to start talking again:(()...

87. EYECOLOUR: Dark brown

88. FAVOURITE MOVIE: SPIRIT THE STALLION OF THE CIMARRON OMG I LOOOVE IT

THIS IS A LIE THEY ARE NOT 92

I'M TAGGING: @ultswenjunhui @viralvernon @uxuuutxu @suga-trash-queen @haechico 

and thats it cause Tumblr wont let me tag more people, whats wrong wth it nowadasy??

[underwatersleepa]

Aww shitt I was tagged by @plutohno rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

the last: drink: Orange Juice phone call: Sheyy text message: You, Daddy topps song you listened to: beamer boy, lil peep time you cried: last night dated someone twice: ive taken a break with someone kissed someone and regretted it: i dont really regret anything just more cringe and like why the fuck did i do that been cheated on: ive had a boyfriend who flirted with other people while we were dating but never like physical. So depends on your definition of cheating lost someone special: my cat, he was my best friend and i got him tattooed been depressed: ever since 8th grade ive dealt with it. Usually in the summer it flares up a lot and during the colder months im okay gotten drunk and thrown up: Ive only thrown up like twice in my life and both were sober 
3 favorite colors:
Olive Green, Black, Grey 
in the last year have you:
 made new friends: obviously 
fallen out of love: last august i ended a two year long relationship and it was hard but we are okay now and both in happier relationships 
laughed until you cried: yes?
found out someone was talking about you: always 💅
 met someone who changed you: of course. Probably everyone in my life has changed me in some way. 
 found out who your real friends are: i do this at least once a year
 kissed someone on your facebook list: lol no me and my boy arent friends on fb lol wtf 
general:
 how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all. There was some creepy guy who knew my ex and wanted to get together but he is blocked
 do you have any pets: i just moved out so now my dog and cat live at my old house but next week i may be getting a snakee
 do you want to change your name: for the most part but its weird when people who arent my family call me by my real name. Mickey is a better fit for me what did you last do for your birthday: my boyfriend and i hung out all day and he bought me a stuffed bear and then we went to sushi with my best friend and their bf and then my bf left and my friend and i made a cake then got high and drunk what time did you wake up: 10:30 
what were you doing at midnight last night: working 
name something you can’t wait for: just found out my boyfriend and i are going on a day trip to san francisco in two weeks for his birthday!! Also my snakee! Also i get to see shey next week for the first time in almost a month i think 
when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning 
what are you listening to right now: A new youtuber i found named Tyler Rugge 
 have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes
most visited website: youtube
 hair color: dark brown. Want to dye it black 
hair length: very short but growing it out. Its like 4inches on the top and maybe 3 on the side 
do you have a crush on someone: yes <3
 what do you like about yourself: i am loyal and funny and id like to say im a good friend
 piercings: ears when i was a baby and i hate them. I want a lip piercing 
blood type: don’t remember
nickname: Mickey, Mick. I wont say what shey calls me lol
relationship status: takenn zodiac: Aquarius pronouns: Anything really but most people go with she/her. 
 favorite tv show: how i met your mother, breaking bad, the walking dead, survivor, the office
 tattoos: 2. My cat and a ghost on a skateboard 
left or right handed: right
 surgery: not yet 😅
 sport: sport?

more general
 eating: going to have vegan mac n cheese for dinner
 drinking: Water 
i’m about to eat: see above
 waiting for: my friends to ask to hang lol
 want: a snake, cuter underwear, a bigger apartment, better job lol
 get married: probably
 career: dream one is wildlife rehabilitator. My actual job sucks but its not the worst 
 which is better:
hugs or kisses: kissinggg
 lips or eyes: 👁
 shorter or taller: in a partner i like them short and shey is only a few inches taller than me and im extremely short haha
 older or younger: doesnt matter if its only a few years difference and they are of consenting age also. Shey is a few months younger than me 
 nice arms or nice stomach: oh godddd bothh
 hookup or relationship: in the end relationship for me but nothing wrong with hookups tbh
 troublemaker or hesitant: troublemakerr 
have you ever: 
kissed a stranger: i had to think but no lol
drank hard liquor: yes 
lost glasses/contact lenses: yup but i never wear them anyways 
turned someone down: idk why but in the last year so many people have gotten crushes on me and im like wtfff
had sex on first date: um
broke someone’s heart: mutually..
 had your heart broken: yeah
been arrested: not yet 😜
cried when someone died: i cry daily so 
fallen for a friend: 70% of the time i usually fall for my friends at one point but i havent since like maybe junior year of highschool 
do you believe in:
yourself: not really at all
miracles: yes
love at first sight: no way
santa claus: who
angels: yes

other
eye color: hazel
height: 5'2
favorite thing to do: watch youtube, skype with shey, hang with friends, get high or drunk, laugh, skate, press flowers and plants, play piano or uke
favorite celebrity: neil patrick harris but i just realized the other day i dont have a crush on him anymore
favorite movie: La La Land, Moonrise Kingdom, Gone Girl

Oh mann gotta tag people now. Literally just do it and say i tagged you. I dont have enough friends on tumblr. Also non of you are even gunna read this lol

[namyoong-archive]

🌻 a “should we know us a little better” tag 🌻 RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people Tagged by @puppytae (this took me so long omg, thank you for tagging me!! 💖) THE LAST: 1. Drink: green tea 2. Phone call: my brother 3. Text message: t-mobile lol 4. Song you listened to: we are bulletproof pt.2 bt BTS 5. Time you cried: friday i think 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: dark blue, bright yellow and pastel pink :-) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: ummm no 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: yasss 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i think so yes 19. Met someone who changed you: not really 20. Found out who your friends are: kinda 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: pretty much all of them 23. Do you have any pets: 3 cats whom i would do anything for and a supercute rabbit ♡ 24. Do you want to change your name: nope i quite like my name :-)) 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: had some family over and than i went bowling with my 2 best friends which was really fun also i worked on my birthday which sucked but we did have a fancy meal when i came back so yeah 26. What time did you wake up: umm i think 10.30 ish?? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching In The Flesh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: seeing some friends again this thursday :-)) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about 1 hour ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i want to be happy with who i am and not feel the need to change for anyone 31. What are you listening to right now? No music, but i can hear cars passing by so yeah :p 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: dont think so? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves? Im taking a gap year and everyone is telling me that i should start school again soon because im so bored and i know that, i wanna start school but it wont start until September and there is nothing i can do about that so stop telling me to go to school bye 34. Most visited Website: tumblr 35. Mole/s: i have quite a few 36. Mark/s: do scars count? Got a big ass scar on my right ankle 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a surgeon omg 38. Hair color: browish blond 39. Long or short hair: i guess its pretty long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: hmm like a low key crush 41. What do you like about yourself: i love my waist and my hourglass figure in general also i love my eyes. And personality wise i like that im always open to anyone and dont judge people just by their looks, also:; my music taste :-)) 42. Piercings: 2 in each ear and an helix in my right ear, i also had a nose piercing but i stopped wearing it some time ago 43. Bloodtype: o god idk :0 44. Nickname: Nini 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: Sagittarius 👌 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Merlin, Sense8 and a lot of anime lol 49. Tattoos: yes i've got 2: a music note on my left wrist and a flower tattoo on my right arm 50. Right or left hand: right hand 51. Surgery: for when i broke my right ankle 52. Piercing: answered this already ahaha 53. Sport: nothing lol 55. Vacation: London or Japan 56. Pair of trainers: black and white pumas MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing :0 58. Drinking: nothing :0 59. I’m about to: watch a serie in bed 61. Waiting for: me to start feeling sleepy 62. Want: to start my new study 63. Get married: yes but tbh only for the wedding dress lol 64. Career: singing teacher WHICH IS BETTER?: 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs!!!!! 66. Lips or eyes: eyes omg 67. Shorter or taller: i think taller 68. Older or younger: older :-) 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: i guess in the middle HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex in the first date: no 79. Broken someones heart: i think so 80. Had your heart broken: nahh not really 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: i guess DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: depends on my mood lol 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: yes 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss in the first date: yep 89. Angels: yes OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: eva 91. Eyecolor: green, blue and grey lol 92. Favorite movie: The Cat Returns Im not tagging anyone but if you wanna do this than consider yourself tagged 💓 This waz so fun to do!!!! ♡