#so we have both sides of the debate believing the other side doesn't care about what cas would choose for himself

[pawberri]

The key problem with "proship vs anti" discourse is that the most extreme versions of each side, the ones who actually bother to identify with these labels, accepted each others worst takes as arguments they had to debate. "Fiction =/= reality" is, in practice, an absurdly reductionist, anti-intellectual, thought-terminating-cliche that dictates we can learn nothing about a person via art and that their fiction reflects no political or moral messaging worthy of critique. In response to this, the "puriteens" who are too young to possibly hope to articulate their discomfort, to untangle their position from what is often real trauma experienced online, simply argue "yes, fiction influences and reflects reality in a 1 to 1 capacity." They, and people who want to use the groundwork they laid to make bad-faith callouts, make bad arguments about how the action of engaging in problematic fiction is on equal ground to real life abuse, or is a clear indicator of interest in real life abuse. Both of these arguments are terrible, but each side seems to radicalize the other further and further into their own brands of anti-intellectual reactionary belief. "Proshippers" become libertarian absolutists about free speech and view all transgression as righteous and alternative and therefore leftist. They gain a reactionary nostalgia for the past, desiring a time when people didn't seem to care about the implications of art. "Antis" become authoritarian and hypervigilant for signs of moral decay, at their worst, willing to align themselves with government bodies that offer carceral solutions to the debate. They are willing to use harassment as a tool of punishment, which then leads to false accusations and a fear of openness that puts people at risk of being triggered via obfuscation. (That said, proshippers also take part in plenty of harassment.)

I will say that I believe both of these movements are equally sensitive to co-opting by right-wing forces. We see the authoritarian tendencies of anti culture in harassment campaigns and even the way Republican law makers co-opt "grooming." The proship/fic crowd has such extreme nostalgia for the past that I often see people align themselves with the cultures of 4chan or other happily right-wing websites. They so heavily reject the idea that a drawn sexual depiction of a child could reflect any desire that they are disinterested in analyzing what the motivation behind the depiction is. i.e If we track the history of lolicon in Japan we do find that is, yes, countercultural, but that counter culture is right wing, very misogynistic, and defensive of patriarchial Japanese culture as it is and was including its culture around rape and abuse. Plenty of fictional content works as radicalization material, and radicalization material needs to be ambiguous. There is a valid reason to be hesitant to trust people who consume this content, even if I do not believe most of them will ever be dangerous towards children. The mere presence of sexuality is not enough to make a movement left wing. This kind of thing can again be seen in right-wing libertarian movements in the US. (And even leftist movements can be bigoted and even "pro-pedophilia" or otherwise disinterested in social reform around abuse.)

Is all content with elements of age-play this way? No. But to me, that is why kink media deserves to be treated as art and analyzed, critiqued, treated seriously. It doesn't have to do anything to anyone to be worthy of a moral critique. Said moral critique just doesn't warrant harassment and cruelty and reactionary exaggerations of the person consuming said content.

Anyway, what's my point in saying all this? I don't know. I'm just begging you to tag your God damn content with specific tags instead of random and nebulous shit like "dead dove" or "dark content", and also begging you to stop harassing people who do tag their content so I don't have to guess what "dead dove" and "dark content" mean. No one will erase incest kink fics or people who feel sickened by the idea of them off this earth because we aren't god, but we could at least all be responsible about tagging, flagging, and age-gating our stuff.

[bugflies00]

OKAY so what ive been thinking about for ages is ctommy and being soft vs quiet . because i feel like it's one of those things in his fandom characterisation that sparks the most debate and in my opinion theres a huge difference between the two but i keep seeing people mix them together.

ctommy is soft but he's not quiet, and to disregard either of those things is what makes him less believable in fanworks imo

because on one hand, of course he's not quiet, that's the most obvious and i think one of the most commonly accepted qualms that we have with general fan interpretations of him. he doesn't just lie down and take shit, he's always committed to being an annoying shit, he's straight up rude so often, and even just. vocally. man's loud as fuck. i think that's pretty easy to establish .

but then what i find is that sometimes we veer into the other opposite, by completely denying that ctommy is also very soft sometimes. and by this i don't mean he turns into strawberry shortcake or starts being polite or whatever, but it's the fact that he's not just crass and rude. he's very considerate a lot of the time, he just shows it. uh. in his Own Way let's say. he cares for animals so so much, he's always so apologetic when he thinks he's hurt one of them, for fuck's sake he sung to the FLOWERS. he's very soft with nature, with things he's attached to, with things he perceives as weaker than him and needing protection.

the complexity of ctommy and what makes him so hard to grasp is that he's loud, he's brash, he is NOT a perfect quiet victim who suffers in silence, he asks for help, he's rude, he steals stuff, he's annoying as shit; but he's also soft, and incredibly empathetic, and he has no shame in showing that softness for animals or nature or his friends.

ctommy, and this is very much because cctommy himself acts like that a lot, is constantly vacillating between someone with the maturity of a thirteen year old boy who shouts and swears and pretends not to give a shit, and a boy who will stop everything he's doing to look at the sky or a flower or an animal (which does contrast his stereotypical rude teenager persona, because lots of aforementioned thirteen year old boys Would be embarrassed or whatever to do that).

he does BOTH. he's not just quiet and nice and sad and lonely; but he's not just rude and loud and """uncaring""" (if there is one thing ctommy is not i think we can all agree its UNCARING).

and i think this is why a lot of debates around "woobifying" ctommy (who remembers the july 2021 trenches . the butterfly clips.) tend to point any ctommy design that portrays him as soft, cozy, or even leaning into his feminine side as the be-all end-all of reducing his character.

in reality i think that misses the mark a bit because while there IS something to be said for sure about people turning ctommy into Blonde Anime Child #249824 and stripping him of his Very Vibrant character, i don't think that putting him in butterfly clips and skirts erases him in the same way. i think he could very much lean into that kind of thing . as long as he's still flipping off the camera we're all good

TLDR : fans strip ctommy of his loud-and-annoying persona but in avoiding that some forget that he's a character who's not afraid to be soft

[keepingeahalive]

Why Rapple Wouldn’t Work as a Couple

First off, let’s get this out of the way: Raven and Apple are not related. Well…more like distantly related, but to the point where any relation is almost nil. Raven is not destined to marry Apple’s father because Apple’s dad and Raven’s dad (The Good King) are two separate characters. Raven is only destined to be jealous of Apple and poison her. That is all.

Okay, on with the real debate.

I'm probably gonna get a lot of hate for this, but I can't see Apple and Raven as a couple. While both of their arcs were about coming to accept each other, they weren't equal in their relationship. Raven made it clear to Apple many times that she felt disrespected, and Apple ignored that and pushed her own agenda on her. It may have come from a place of caring, but Apple didn't get Raven at all. I can see them working through their issues down the line, but their love story (if you can call it that) is better as platonic.

Bulldozing and Passive Aggression

From the first episode, we can see that Apple immediately took control for both of them. She went behind Raven's back to room with her and decorated Raven's side of the room without her permission, all because Raven is an important part of "her" story.

Not their story. "Her" story.

Her friendship with Raven in the first three chapters was surface-level at best. She assumes what Raven wants instead of actually getting to know her, like when she decides to take "Home Evil-nomics" to get back at Raven for taking Princessology. But Raven's favorite class isn't Home Evil-nomics. It's Muse-ic.

We can see Raven trying to be patient with Apple because Raven is a good person. She doesn't want a repeat of what happened between Snow White and the Evil Queen. In fact, we see her other friends hide their concerns from Apple because they don't want to upset her.

When Ashlynn finally comes out about her relationship with Hunter, she's immediately met with Apple's dismay. Apple tells her several times that she's making the wrong decision, and it gets to Ashlynn so much that she chooses her friendship with Apple over her relationship with Hunter because she doesn't want everyone to be upset. Although Ashlynn decides to do what makes her happy, Apple still tells her outright that she's making the wrong choice.

Briar starts to feel the weight of her destiny sink in and, instead of being met with compassion and understanding, Apple tells Briar "we all have our part to play." While Briar rightfully calls her out for how privileged she is, it takes her three chapters and two more specials to admit to Apple that she was too scared to tell anyone that she didn't want to follow her destiny.

They both go behind Raven's back to poison a birthday cake she made for Apple just so she would stop crying about it.

Apple is the next Queen of Ever After, and she wants to take an active role in serving her people. But she thinks she knows what's best for everyone. If they don't do what she says, then there's something wrong and she has to fix them. Everyone enabled this behavior, except for Raven. This domination is what causes her and Raven's tension at the start of the series.

2. Apple's Fears

Apple is a selfish character. But that selfishness is born of fear.

She believes going against her destiny means dying and being forgotten.

I believe she does care about her friends, in the same vein a God-fearing church-goer cares about the people in her community. She believes there is only one true way of staying safe: following your destiny. If you don't, something bad happens. And she has to remind you of that. She thinks she's helping people when she's really being insensitive and condescending. And this comes down the hardest on Raven.

Raven is the equivalent of someone who's become disillusioned with their faith. She's unhappy with the system she's been put in and she wants something better. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of what might happen if she does. She's terrified she might doom everyone at first. But taking a risk on Legacy Day and showing everyone they can live without following a predetermined path made her and others more hopeful that they could live better lives.

But Apple can't be convinced with one act of rebellion. She doubles down on her beliefs and blames Raven for ruining her Happily Ever After. She's so afraid of her future being uncertain that she would rather follow a status quo where someone she claims to care for is locked away for the rest of her life. You could argue that she doesn't understand that's what would happen, but she never bothered to understand Raven's perspective. Raven takes Apple's perspective in Thronecoming and considers the consequences of her actions. Raven cares about her friends too, so much that she's willing to put her happiness aside to keep them safe. Apple never once did that for her, or for any of her other friends.

This stems from Apple being promised the best destiny out of anyone. She'd go on to live a very prestigious life as Queen. But she's too naive to realize what that would mean for everyone else: Raven would be locked up for the rest of her life, Ashlynn would die to continue her legacy, and Briar would marry some random dude several decades younger than her and never see Apple or anyone she knew ever again. I understand that no one wants to lose the stability they've had their entire life. But she doesn't seem to understand how good she has it.

3. Apple and Raven's Growth

Way Too Wonderland and Dragon Games gave us a lot in terms of character development. Apple and Raven have gotten to know each other better at this point. Even though they have their differences, they do care about each other.

Say what you will about Way Too Wonderland, but I do believe Apple has come to know Raven and is genuinely shocked and heartbroken when Raven finally signed the Storybook of Legends. She's come to care about who Raven really is, she knows Raven would never want to hurt anyone, and she realizes that destinies can be dangerous. I understand her main reasoning was that anyone could easily take someone else's destiny if they had the chance. But seeing what signing the book did to Raven frightened her. Destroying the book with Raven cemented a level of trust and understanding that Raven was longing for.

Which is what makes Dragon Games so heartbreaking.

Apple is a privileged little princess who was promised the best destiny one could expect. I don't think anyone would be all that happy about letting that go. It goes back to what she fears the most. She doesn't know what to do without her destiny. And with her mother only feeding into these insecurities, it allows Apple's doubts to resurface and for someone to take advantage of that.

Apple could have prevented releasing the Evil Queen. But she was too deep in her own cowardice to think clearly. Desperation will make people do anything, especially if promised a happy ending for you and everyone you love (maybe subconsciously hoping Raven would be her True Love). That doesn't excuse her freeing a war criminal who happens to be her best friend's estranged mother, thereby breaking her trust all over again. Raven had just started seeing Apple as someone she could depend on. That's gone now, and Raven had a right to be angry with Apple's selfishness and cowardice.

"But Apple realized her mistake and Raven forgave her in the end!" That's true, but that doesn't mean things are okay between them. Apple is still Raven's friend, and it's in Raven's character to forgive her. But I don't see her forgetting this experience any time soon. That trust would have to be built up all over again and, if you ask me, this ruled out any chance of them getting together romantically. I think Raven would need some time away from Apple to figure things out. Apple could use that time to figure herself out too, especially after figuring out it was Darling who woke her.

If that trust was able to be built back up again, hopefully they would have grown as people and learned to be better friends. But you can't expect this level of trust to be regained for a partnership.

4. A One-Sided Romance

If Rapple were to be anything romantic, it would only come from Apple.

Apple was always obsessed with Raven. I do believe she wanted Raven to fulfill their destinies so they would both be safe, but was too selfish to consider how that would look from Raven's end. She never showed any interest in Daring and, while she enjoyed the admiration she got from other boys, never expressed interest in anyone else.

Except Raven.

So, yes. I do believe Apple was in love with Raven. But I can't see Raven returning those feelings. Apple always disregarded what she wanted, ignored her when she argued against her destiny, and continually tried to turn Raven into something she wasn't. Even after her much-needed character development in Way to Wonderland and Dragon Games, these two still don't have a good foundation of trust between them. If we had gotten more of the show, we might have seen some healing. And, in my opinion, that would include Apple learning to let go of Raven and focusing on her own growth as a person.

And maybe someone else...

In all seriousness, Apple and Raven have a complicated relationship that I don't see working romantically. I know they have the most development together, and it would be an interesting take on the enemies-to-lover trope. But with how often Apple betrayed Raven's trust and how grounded and self-aware Raven is, I can't see them getting together.

I can see Raven being Apple's first crush, but the closest these two can get is sisters.

Because, you know, Raven has a boyfriend. It's Dexter. Say what you want about him, but they have a healthier relationship than Raven and Apple could ever have, romantic or not.

[elliespuns]

hello!! first of all, i don't intend to say this as a way to create a fuss or anything like that, i just see your blog as a space where we can debate a lot of tlou related topics and i want to know your opinion about it :-) anyways, while i did enjoy the hbo series, i also think it was very flawed in translating both joel and ellie's personalities - but i want to focus on joel's atm.

i don't think joel is "insensitive" on the game, but i do believe the fact that he tried so hard to hide his feelings and barely ever showed his soft side is a SUPER important characteristic of his.

i don't mind the way pedro played joel but at the same time i just cannot see both of them as the same man. and i don't talk only about the scenes where joel was visibly anxious or cried, but also the torture scene. i think it is one of the most iconic scenes on the game (also, I'm the one who asked you to take pics of it a couple weeks ago LOL) specially cause it shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much.

i think pedro was more than capable to play a joel that is both too much of a father figure for his own good AND a tough son of a b*tch that can and will kill people with his bare hands to protect whatever is important to him.

from my point of view, crying during the "i saved her" scene is really out of character for game joel. when the guy just confesses he killed a bunch of people, "doomed" the whole world just to keep his little girl safe and then lied straight to her face, but his expression shows no hint of sadness whatsoever, that, for me, is the peak of his character.

"if somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i'd do it all over again". of course he's hurt that ellie doesn't trust him anymore, and of course he wasn't exactly happy to kill those fireflies, but he did what he thought was right and he'd rather have ellie hate him for another thousand years to come than know he just left such a sweet girl to die in the hands of a crumbling group, in the name of a cause he never really cared about. he knows his actions will have consequences but he doesn't cry cause he is willing to die for it (and he really did).

sorry for rambling but i really want to read other people's opinion about it!!

First of all, I love how perfectly you've just described game Joel. This is exactly how I feel about our man, and even if I tried, I could never put it into words like this. Hands down, bro, this is so well said.

Both Ellie and Joel were portrayed differently in the show (it's not the worst thing; I know that people who don't follow the game fell in love with these versions of them, and for them it's as magical as it was for us when playing), but I guess, for the game lovers, it's harder to see past this fact simply because getting to love a character and having to learn everything there is about them, growing up with them only to find out the creators (people who gave them this exceptional and amazing character) didn't care enough to stick to what they came up with is kind of a bummer. I mean, you can choose to ignore it on the screen, but yet it's something so 'palpable' you have to watch with a little *sigh* in your mind.

"It shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much."

I agree. Game Joel has this death stare that makes people fear from miles away while show Joel doesn't. I think Pedro could pull it out without a blink of an eye—if only they'd given him this Joel to play.

People say that making show Joel more "sensitive" was to make him more realistic because in the game, the characters are portrayed as having to deal with the impossible (like killing 10 clickers and a bloater without any damage, etc.), while in the show, he's a real man, so real attributes and emotions are needed. I get that; that makes perfect sense. But I still also agree with folks who say that keeping Joel's "detached" and "thin-skinned" characteristics wouldn't hurt anyone because what's unrealistic about that?

Game Joel and show Joel are completely different characters in my head. I love them both. I can switch them in my head and tune into both Joels, but I still prefer the game when it comes to the story and the character Joel is.

It's funny because when I watch show Joel, I can't help but see a puppy version of game Joel, tbh. Pedro is literally able to play anything, so his version of "sensitive" Joel serves me just right when I tune into the show. But knowing Pedro would kill the "callous" and "unaffected" version of Joel, and it bugs me so much we'll never get to see it.

Btw, I'm working on your request, more photos of Joel torturing David's men are coming!

[the-fiction-witch]

Sugar

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating SWEET AF

Requested Could you do a Jack Dawkins imagine where Jack meets Y/n in a side street when taking a break from the hospital (and ykyk they both get to start liking each other). But then Jack consents for a kiss but she kinda gets all nervous cause she's never had a first kiss...

I smiled as I sat on the little stone wall my back against the metal posts watching the clouds roll on by for a while. I heard the door behind me and perked up, turning to see a familiar figure.

"Ohh Afternoon Dr Dawkins," I greeted with a smile,

"Oh, Afternoon Y/n. What were you doing out here?" he asked as he came down the stairs still shook his hands off from freshly washed them inside clearly just got done with something and just cleaned off his hands. 

"Just on a breath, the scent of blood, bile and bodily fluid takes you after a while in there."

"Well you're not wrong." he chuckled and sat down beside me with a pleasant smile, "Prof likes it like that."

"Good for him, does he lack a nose? Mouth? and eyes?"

"He has them whether or not any of them work is highly debatable," 

"What about Sneed?"

"Ohh Sneed doesn't come down to the ward," He laughed, "Mr high and Mighty, Mr Fancy Britches, Mr don't Ether People. He thinks he is too good for the ward."

"what about you? Doesn't it bother you?"

"It bothers me, not much I can do about it, I clean it He'll fire me and put it back how it was in two days." He explained, "Besides, Sort of desensitized to much of it now."

"I imagine you likely are." 

"You get used to it over time." 

"I'm sure I will, what are you doing out here?"

"Ohh you know, just cut a guy's arm off. Felt like having a minute." 

"That's fair," I nodded, 

"I never imagined you wanting to work here."

"Becuase I'm a girl?"

"No, Becuase you're sweet."

"Shouldn't a nurse be sweet?"

"A nurse should be sweet, she should have a good bedside manner. But... You are too sweet."

"Too sweet?"

"You care about everyone, to a fault. In a hospital that's dangerous. Yes you want your nurses to care for patients be sweet and kind to them and it does always help if your nurse is sweet to you." he winked which made me blush, "But you're so sweet, that you care for everyone no matter anything else, you want to do what's for them. And yes that is a fantastic quality to have..." he explained,

"But?"

"But, You haven't been here that long, you're still new to nursing and what you will find out soon enough is that... you can't save everyone as much as we want to." he explained, "And yes believe me that takes time to get used to more than the smells, the sights, the blood. The first time you lose a patient it will never ever sit right with you. Every doctor, every Nurse, carries the weight of everyone they've lost..." he explained, "You can't blame yourself, but you do." 

"You shouldn't blame yourself, Jack. One lost patient means that maybe ten more won't die the same way." 

He smiled briefly, "That's a sweet way to look at it." he nodded, 

"Well, I have a sweet way to look at most things," I smiled,

"You do, and you do a lot to help people, you are very kind and caring, and Very Very Sweet."

"I can always help Jack,"

"But it worries me."

"Why?"

"I worry, the first time you lose someone you'll never get over it I tell you that now as a twenty-eight-year-old surgeon who started training on a ship at fourteen. That first one never quite leaves you." he explained, "I worry that you're so sweet it'll change you." 

"Change me?"

"But you're so sweet that... what's gonna happen when you have a patient you can't help. sometimes you can't help people. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but hold their hand and see them into the next life. Sometimes you have to sit and watch them die slowly and in agony staring into their eyes as their life leaves them knowing there is nothing you can do. You have to sit there and stare into the eyes of a child as they beg you for dead, knowing you can't do anything to help them. And you can't just sit back and think of them as bodies, they were people a person is below your fingers, with a life, dreams, hopes, a family." He explained, "How sweet will you be after all the things you'll witness here." 

"I don't know," I answered,

"How sweet will you be if we save someone, some man from losing his arm, only to find out he'll go home and use that arm to abuse his wife? How sweet will you be saving a girl's life with a surgery that will make her infertile and telling her she'll never get the have children because of what you've done to save her? How sweet will you be watching someone walk out of the hospital refusing treatment knowing they will die without help but knowing you can't force them? A nurse needs a good bedside manner I will not deny but this work is cruel, harsh, and bitter. And I am afraid you will not be so sweet after a few weeks here." 

"Would it be so bad if I wasn't so sweet anymore?"

"I think it would, I don't think the world should lose someone as sweet as you," 

"Maybe I'll still be sweet after all this, maybe all this horror will make me sweeter to see the world for what it is."

"That's a long shot."

"But not impossible."

"No... Not impossible."

"How do you stay so sweet?" 

He chuckled, "You think I'm sweet?"

"You are to me." 

"It's easy to be back to someone who's so sweet to start with." he smiled, and for a while, we just sat watching the clouds together, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," 

"do you taste like sugar?"

"What?" I giggled,

"You're so sweet, I'm curious if you taste like sugar?"

I giggled and licked my hand, "I just taste soap." 

He laughed at me, "Could I kiss you?"

"Hum?" I asked as I hadn't really been listening, 

"Could I kiss you?"

"Why?"

"I wanna know if you taste like sugar or not?" he shrugged with a playful smile, "So? would you let me kiss you?"

"Ohhhh i uhhh I uuhhhh I ummmmm" I stuttered blushing bright red, 

"Whats wrong?" he chuckled,

"I uhhh I'm just auhhh I uhhhhh" I nervously blushed, 

"I'm sorry Y/n." He said, "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." He smiled, "It's perfectly fine, I shouldn't have asked anyway."

"No no! No, it's not that I'm uncomfortable I just uhh I'm sorry I..."

"What is it?" he asked seeming concerned, 

"I've never kissed anyone before."

"What?" He chuckled, 

"I've never been kissed before."

"Never?"

"No."

"Not ever?"

"No."

"In your whole life!"

"No..."

"Awww, You sweet little thing." he cooed, 

"I uhhh I wouldn't mind kissing you."

"You wouldn't?" 

"No,"

"Really, I'd be honoured to get to be the first one to kiss you."

"You would?"

"Of course, such an honour to be a girl's first kiss." 

"Well, I would like you to kiss me."

"Then I'll happily kiss you," he smiled, he took my hand and gently kissed it, "Ohh your right very soapy."

"I washed my hands before I came out," I giggled,

"well they are very soft," he smiled as he stoked his thumb across my hand, he moved a little closer and fixed the hair behind my ear, and his hand stroked my cheek, He smiled and moved closer to the tip of his nose stroked my own "May I kiss you Y/n?"

"You May Jack..." I blushed,

He nodded and smiled before he closed the gap between us and pressed his lips to mine, they were a little cracked but still very smooth, he tasted like oranges and had a metallic sting of blood, his skin smoothly smooth, the tip of his hair tickled my forehead a little his hand still stroked mine, I kissed back gently still a little taken back but I was on cloud nine so very thrilled and happy. He pulled back and smiled, he ran the tip of his nose across the bridge of mine and smiled widely, 

"That was... Amazing..." I gasped,

He chuckled, "I'm glad you liked it, I did too. I must say for your first kiss you were very good." he nodded,

"Thank you," I blushed, 

"And I can confirm, you do taste like sugar." he smiled, 

I giggled a little "I do?"

"You do, My sweet little sugar Nurse." 

"Awww," I blushed, "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"May I kiss you?"

"You may," He smiled, 

I was nervous but I moved closer and pressed my lips to his, he happily smiled and kissed me back. The two of us just sat for a while in the sweet sun kissing for what could have been hours I didn't care I never wanted this moment to end. 

We pulled back as the door opened and we both glanced at the door to see Tim at the door, we both blushed a little to think we had been caught,

"Jack, Man's come in with a shattered foot." 

"Coming," Jack nodded,

Tim headed in which left us alone again, and Jack smiled and offered his hand.

"You-"

"I need my sweet sugar nurse with me don't I?"

I giggled and took his hand, he stood us both up and gave my lips a final kiss before we rushed inside to deal with this. 

[glassofgretel]

My honest opinion on Evillious Chronicles...I believe the series is truly deep and beautifully written, but there are some personal issues I have with it.

I don't really care about the point and message of the Evillious Chronicle series nor the concept of "morally gray", I only believe in good, evil and the consequences of our own actions. MOTHY has made an amazing story that we all still enjoy ~16 years later, but I have to disagree with his philosophy and outlook on the world, ours differ greatly– Though he has some valid points, it's rather naïve IMO... and while it's compelling storywise and from an emotional perspective, it isn't as much realistically or from a political/social standpoint of right and wrong.

Morality never mattered in the first place, because evil always succeeds if it has enough power or deems its deeds necessary for a "greater benefit"... Good and evil are both necessary forces that exist to maintain the balance of this universe, just as our fate dictates.

Personally, I'm starting to see far more evil and corruption than light and hope in today's politics and throughout our society's history, so I only get pissed the fuck off whenever I see a political debate between self-righteous snowflakes on Twitter or Reddit (Especially the Character rant mfs), with each side claiming that they're right and the other is evil.

Even though morality is literally IRRELEVANT in politics, it has always been about interests and agendas in the end. If anything, there are only two lesser and greater evils. 💀

I'm no Altright-winger either, as some idiots on Discord might say... I'm more of a Pan-Arab nationalist but I just hate politics in general. Because if anything, we humans deserve all the shit that's coming to us. And trust me, I HATE Hitler with every fiber of my being... but if I were in his shoes, I would've done far worse with all the scum and idiocy in this world.

As for Riliane Lucifen, despite her awful deeds, she was still somewhat good at heart. Unlike the two-faced hypocrites over at the USA, Russia, China and Israeli governments, and especially those scumbags Adolf/Stalin... But it still doesn't excuse her actions despite her lack of moral agency, neither does her being possessed and manipulated by the demons.

So let's stop painting her as some sort of saint, she was a broken kid who deserved her redemption and a second chance- but that's all there is...

Because we know damn well that would NEVER fly in our reality, even if she was truly genuine about making amends.And I don't want to be like her or Nemesis lol, I prefer the likes of Frieza, Judge Holden, King Piccolo etc. as role models, because at least they're purely evil and honest about their philosophy, they embrace it to reach their own goals. Unlike most of our world's society...

I would say I am Near Pure evil though, since I have clear moral standards and my own personal law, I can discern right from wrong- But I'm not really much better than Hitler myself, and I am wrong more often than I'm right. I just despise everything wrong with the world, but I don't intend to change it for the better either. I don't even care about ending the cycle of violence and hate, infact I want to keep it going for my own benefit. That is the path I've chosen for myself and I embrace it fully with no guilt or regrets, even if it might be the wrong one.

I'm not just being pretentious or edgy either, I am simply disappointed and frustrated with this reality- I've had enough of this world and want to watch it burn. I enjoy treating evil with even worse evil, fighting fire with fire- Because it turns me on, gives me a greater purpose and sense of fulfilment too.

I'm sorry I really don't know how to answer this, it's the most concerning message I've ever received in my entire life

[lesfir]

I start thinking when a post starts with “I don't understand why people, do say that” and then “you have to admit, accept”. Does the author of the post really want to understand other people's experiences and why they feel that way? No. Astarion talks the whole game about power and how important it is to have it in the world. Where you can be made a slave, killed - yes, important. The other thing is that Astarion is prone to brutal power, evil power. Uh, no, I don't care or his first approval wouldn't have amused me, it would have frightened me. He was always like that. Astarion gave harsh sentences, he didn't believe in mercy, he wasn't even fair, a magistrate doesn't get killed for nothing, he considered “trouble makers” to be barbarians. It's in the game. His slavery, Cazador reinforced this already cynical picture of the world. Honestly, had his living heart been gentle and kind, before or when he met Tav? A narcissistic, handsome, noble magistrate with the power, High Elf from the Upper City of Baldur's Gate. It's a shame, but there are evil, immoral characters.

Drugs and walking again like you used to are different things. The ritual frees from the downside of vampirism:

Sunshine, complete freedom of movement.

Free from the torment of hunger.

Once again the heart that was taken from him is alive, all sensations and feelings are available.

These are objective, reasonable goods.

The price is diabolical, immoral, selfish - Evil ending. What's best for Astarion is a matter of debate. I think both are valid, the other simply makes him a better person morally. We can pretend Astarion is driven by trauma and fear - only it's no thoughts, no judgment, there's nothing that makes cynical sense, nothing. Just a traumatized Nightstar princess who needs to be shown the way of the light and heal. And if you don't, the princess becomes a pumpkin. I personally don't believe that the “cycle of violence and terror” as written in the game, in the world of Faerûn can be broken. I don't intend to, I don't see it in Astarion either. Spawn with 7k, kill a couple of dwarves, there'll be revenge. Spawn will be ordered to kill the not “right person” to make him a scapegoat - massacre.

Honestly, narcissist, manipulative, with huge trauma from slavery, power-hungry, thinks power is fun, bloodthirsty, cynical.

The measuring stick of what is toxic, abusive and controlling relationships clearly already transitioning to reality and to real morality only begins to attach to Astarion after the Ascension. Because if it worked initially, Astarion can't be touched, he's dangerous. To heal such a man is a danger and a fairy tale. No one cares. But the chains and the tragedy of AA's abusive behavior, that's what it's all about. A tale of the healing of a manipulative vampire narcissist and the tragedy of fucked up, that's the way it should be. ... UA will go crazy with missed opportunities when his arm gets cut off in battle and killed Tav. As he already tried in the game, unlike AA without consent.

And now for the romance. The juiciest part. If that's the reason why this one is so bad, a tragic ending that everyone should accept and cry over.

I think the answer is this. Summation of the Ending and Epilogue. Tav who doesn't like this romance and feels herself in the clutches of a monster - 3 lines. Tav who enjoys\okay the decadence with Astarion - 10 lines.

Player: Let's see everything, now I'm free of my Father! I want to travel the world. REALLY_DARK_URGE Player: I want to see the world, with you at my side. ORI_Astarion_State_GoingToTravel Player: I want to live forever. Make me a vampire. ORI_Astarion_Event_TurnIntoSpawn = False Player: I want to sit on your lap, sipping blood from a chalice, ruling the Gate from our foul throne. REALLY_DARK_URGE Player: We'll start with Baldur's Gate - Let's make this city ours. ORI_Astarion_State_TakeBaldursGateTogether Player: Let's put our enemies to the sword! ORI_Astarion_State_BloodyStruggle

They look like lines for Evil Win and they are.

Player: True. We are spectacular, after all. Player: It is wonderful. I'm glad I get to share this with you. Player: None would dare, my love. Player: I'm sorry I kind of disappeared. I didn't mean to leave you like that.

And the lines for Original Karlach are OзО..

It's fantasy man, if you're looking for tragedy you'll find it everywhere, don't stop others from playing the fairy tale that you're playing, too. Enjoy your catharsis, don't touch the other catharsis. ta-ta line of ascended, spawn and pre-ritual mixed together

[mejomonster]

Modu by priest was truly such a good read. If you like romance? It has a sweeping romance, with a well done bisexual and gay lead (and straight best friend) all written in ways that manage to feel realistic, it's got features people likely found it for when looking for a danmei - rich manipulative younger man, older investigator who's got a hero streak, and yet those categories don't really do justice to them (and of course tao ran is the more grounded detective story lead who keeps his theories to himself and worries about dragging others into his mess).

They're so much more... Fei Du is a traumatized young man who's worried he's as monstrous as the people who scarred him, who is preparing to take the leap and cross the line to become an even more terrifying version of himself if it will destroy the corruption poisoning this city and harming so many, Luo Wenzhou is a cop that used to want to be a hero and learned he will fail people and be unable to save people and holds onto Fei Du as someone who reminds him he DOES fail but also reminds him why he wants so hard to keep Trying to help people even when it seems impossible... why trying and putting in effort to care and help Even when its too late to fix things is Worthwhile. Tao Ran is a contrast to them both, Fei Du living in a world where there's only monsters and victims and Luo Wenzhou desperately trying to force the world to be a place where justice CAN prevail and win even as he sees it fail over and over, trying so hard to believe all people have the capacity for everything and are worth trying to save. Even though Fei Du doesm't believe that, being around Luo Wenzhou makes him want to consider it. Tao Ran, their contrast? Believing the world can go either way, and its up to people like him to create any justice at all, any structure at all, or else everything is just meaningless suffering chaos. As characters, the three of them serve to explore how the world works and views on it in terms of a detective murder mystery encompassing the whole city, the small scale version of the world. Modu is a romance, but its also fully commited to being a murder mystery that wants to tackle the kind of themes that come up in the setting it's created. Its characters are so much more than Insert Character Ship types here. These characters were made this way to explore these ideas (just as the villains are all made to parallel and contrast Fei Du to explord these ideas in comparison to our point of view Fei Du moments, our impressions of Fei Du from Luo Wenzhou and Tao Rans varied perspectives, all of them are different lenses to view humanity and how it works, if the world is just or if we have to make it good, if we can be inherently good and if good people will reach out to us if we just keep treading water to survive, if its luck and chaos, and how much... and much more frankly).

Modu is like. If you want a story about a corrupt city and its victims, symbolizing a corrupt world and all of us at its mercy, and you want to see the heart of the people doing something about it. First the main trio, but also every victim Fei Du recruits to help, every murderer recruited to the corruption, all the people in the cases swayed to some side. Thats what Modu is about.

The romance is just one facet of exploring that, the personal debate about what these things mean about the world as told through two people who view this world incredibly differently. Yet find some way to exist in the same space, same mutual world, when together. It hooks you in and doesn't let you go and youre wondering right there with them, left to draw your own meaning in the end. Hopefully that its worth trying, that doing something is worth trying even when its just the trying you can do and not the succeeding, at least thats what I got from it (at least in regards to Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou meeting each other, unable to live up to the pillar they put each other on but trying anyway, is what I felt from them).

Then like? Modu gives you THAT story, which in its own right is enough to make you contemplate.

And if you're like me and care about people, about characters? Well it gives you, like I said, those big themes and a city's nightmares symbolizing the world, and brings them down to an individual level. You read from the mind of the little girl who grew up in this (one of my favorite scenes and when I felt this novel was going to not shy away from dark psychological moments and bringing them to you). You read from the mind of Fei Du when he knows himself, when he doesn't. You read from the minds of all kinds of people, and the heart of much of the investigation is peoples motives and things they'd gone through and how that shaped what they'd do next. Why they'd do it. Leaving you to wonder who's right. Jaded idealist Luo Wenzhou who wants to believe in the goodness of the people he loves, but also is willing to risk that strangers may have good intent? Fei Du who thinks theres only victims and perpetrators and everyone is going to fall into one in the right circumstance? Tao Ran, who feels the world is too messy to dare declare predictable, who thinks even your closest can betray you and even you can accidentally hurt them, nevermind strangers, and the only thing you can control and rely on is your own choices? Some mix? None of them? The side characters as they come up, grow and evolve, do they understand the world better or worse, and is the world they experience different than anothers and justify why their worldview is likewise different? Modu gives you that up close and personal, over and over. Im still thinking about it. And the way its done, they all get to feel like lived in people. Not structures to tell the themes only. But on their own, there's a personal struggle between Fei Du feeling like a monster who'll destroy Lup Wenzhou if he loves him, like his dad destroyed his mom, and Luo Wenzhou carrying the guilt he could never save Fei Du and desperate to believe in Fei Du (and keep trying to save him in that way if only that way) as person who can do good despite not being saved and despite Fei Du's fears. You could cut the entire city's plot away, all of the crimes and make the city calm, and still that core of their plot would be carrying a Lot of weight. Theyre playing a game of "enemies" to lovers sure, or whatever romance story structures they fit into. But they're also made to be deeply rooted into each other, their personal beliefs tied into the outcome of what they hope or fear happens if they are close together. Modu made me care about that. Its like the fears many people might have, abiut theur own flaws, about getting close to others, about trusting and being unsure if that trust is safe to give. Its that and magnified into bigger form, in this landscape of a fucked up city and the tragedy of Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou's meeting and former lives.

Its like. Id love to to read another danmei (Ive got a lot on my to read list). But what's going to give me roo

[darcytaylor]

As someone very interested in psychology and also someone who had realised that humans react to traumas and triggers in a very predictable pattern, Im very fascinated by Luke.

1. On one hand, we have Nic who praises his support, sensitivity and kindness at every turn. Other cast endorse her. We saw him being tender and loving with his ex. Jade also constantly kept praising him on how loving and considerate he was. We saw that kindness and considerate behaviour in the BTS and the promo tour. What we gather is a soft, tender and considerate human.

2. Then we also saw his hot boy summer, dating very young women, the total lack of care for the show, cast and crew that brought him so much fame, totally dropping the ball on promotion, not even being nice to the girl he claims to be his gf. The f boy basically.

Who is he? I personally believe its the first, because so many attest to that, we saw that behaviour on video. But then why the current act. He is definitely going through something? Whats it? Heart break? Insecurities? Why would he risk his career for any of it? I just couldn't make sense of it.

I think that he can be both? I think that humans can have multiple sides to them. One of the things that Nicola said in the most recent Bridgerton podcast was that it's okay to have different sides of yourself and that it doesn't negate either version of you.

“And then you can come home to the person you love and be super soft and be like, you know, I'm baby here today. Like that, you know, that's all fine. And you shouldn't have to hide one version of yourself or feel like one version of yourself negates the other because it doesn't.”

I know that in this instance she was talking about women in general, but I do think that the same applies to men as well. There can be multiple versions of any person. It all depends on where you are, who you are with, what you feel like on that day, what is going on in your life, what has happened in your life.

I think that the age old debate of whether people are good or evil kind of applies. It's a question that really doesn't have a definitive answer. I think that everybody has the ability to be both, so in the end everybody is both. Everybody has the ability to have good qualities and bad qualities at the same time.

But then Luke has the added pressure of being in the spotlight. Everything he does is looked at under a microscope. But that is the nature of his career, that is the nature of being a celebrity. Right now I think he may be at odds as to what he is wanting to present to the world, I think he may be trying to figure that out. It's impossible to know what is going on in his head.

I also keep coming back to people saying he is so much like his character (his cast mates saying this). And I think that the audience always take it as Colin's good qualities. But Colin as a character also has bad qualities, and his cast mates may also be seeing some of that (obviously they would never voice that out loud).

But I don't know Luke personally. I have no idea what kind of person he is. What he presents to the fans may not be who he actually is.

But they always say that when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

(I could probably continue to expand on this and go more in depth, but I have to head to work!)

[louislovesdilfs]

Homesick (part 3)

I'm sorry if this is shorter than the others or at least I think it's shorter I really have no idea. it's worth it tho, I think. From the next I will go episode by episode maybe skip a few to add something like this but I will mostly follow the show. I loved the 60th special, Donna will always be my favourite;)

source: r/gallifrey (on reddit) it's a debate started by @/AnticitizenPrime, It's a great theory but I suggest you to check it out if you want after reading this.

◇ I don't necessarily believe the theories I use to write this fic are canon, they just inspired me to work on this. Do NOT take them as canon. treat theories ans headcanons as such.

♤ sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language.

♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧

"Y/n didn't want to leave, he was watching a Christmas romcom with my mother" Rose jokes getting in the TARDIS, Y/n is behinds her and enters closing the door,

"I was waiting for them to kiss!" he says but realise it only makes his situation worse,

Rose chuckles pinching Y/n's cheek "ohh an hopeless romantic!" she teases him, Y/n can't respond to that, it is true, so he just moves on getting near the console, he feels like he understands the commands and how to guide the TARDIS, he does want to try but is almost afraid of doing so,

"can we stop by my house?" he asks looking at the hoodie he's been wearing for...well from the begging, not gonna lie it is a nice 'NASA' hoodie but it won't be as nice when it starts to stink.

"sure do, just not for too long" The Doctor answers turning to him with tiny grin, Rose tho realises something, she turns to Y/n clearly wanting to ask him something,

"when did The Doctor take you?" she asks, Y/n was there before her, she figured not too long before since the two men didn't knew eachother that well, she sees Y/n is not from her time, he doesn't fit in at all.

"uh 2023, november 21st, I believe" he says not totally sure about the date,

"2023? is that a good year?" she asks slightly curious

"uh, well..." he mumbles hesitating, it's not bad like 2020 still there are wars... but that's a detail he decided to keep for himself.

The TARDIS lands in the same alley it first appears, Y/n gets out feeling sick. Ugh this place, he just wants to pack some clothes and go off again but the other two have other plans that he doesn't know about yet.

He walks not really waiting for The Doctor and Rose who try to keep up with him, he frantically searches for the keys to his house, as soon as they turn the corner a fancy mansion is waiting for them, The Doctor and Rose look at Y/n surprised as he opens the big black gates which reveal the wide path with a green garden on the sides, it looks so expensive but well tooken care of.

"well you didn't mention you were rich" Rose walks fast reaching Y/n who shakes his head

"I'm not, my parents were. This is a family mansion, my great-great grandfather bought it, then my great grandfather passed it to my grandad and he passed it to my dad, when my dad died I inherited all; My sister life assurance, my mother life assurance, and last my dad's. This money come from loss and grief. How could I ever define myself rich?" it is a rhetorical question, he doesn't want an answer and Rose will surely not give him one, she looks at The Doctor who has not look away from the young man for one second, he is clearly thinking about what Y/n just said and maybe he's wondering something else too, too many coincidence happened after the regeneration, The Doctor doesn't want to address them yet and neither does Y/n but sooner or later they will have to, willingly or not, Rose will make sure of that.

They enter the mansion greeted by giant stairs not too far from the big front door, the inside aren't as old as the house looks from the outside, they actually look both aged and modern, it's a style that suits the place but not really Y/n's appearance.

"not bad, not bad at all" The Doctor speaks his mind looking at the place.

"not at all" Rose agrees scanning every angle of the entrance with her eyes.

"my house is your house...I guess.." Y/n shrugs telling them to do whatever they want. He sighs going upstairs with his hands in his pockets, for how much he hates this place is good to be at home.

Y/n sits on his bed, looking at his room, it's been the same since he was 14, same posters, stickers on the windows...Even the 'I want to believe' poster on the wall near his bed, he always loved space, all the drawings and pictures in his rooms make it clear, it's funny how now he is travelling in time and space like it's a short day trip, it almost makes him chuckle.

A knock on the door makes him quickly turn his head to see The Doctor leaning against the door frame, his eyes lightened as he looked at The Doctor.

"can I come in?" he asks putting his hands in his brown suit pockets, he took off his coat and left it somewhere in the house probably, The Doctor enters as Y/n nods him to come in, he looks around the space themed room amused by it.

"X-files, great show." The Doctor comments looking at the poster on the wall, and Y/n chuckles

"shame you're not a little green man," Y/n chuckles tilting his head and The Doctor almost smirks at the young man's little gesture, The Doctor always seems to appreciate the little tilt Y/n does but still scoffs at his comment

"last time I checked you were monkeys" he shors back and Y/n squints his eyes at him

"oh shut it you face changer" he says and The Doctor smirk sitting on Y/n's bed next to him.

"big place you have here" he says changing the subject, Y/n's face darkens a little

"empty tho" he points out looking up at the ceiling, there are little stars that glow in the dark attached to it, The Doctor notices them too before Y/n speaks breaking the silence

"you have a big place too" he points out, he then falls with his back on the bed, his hands resting on his chest for a split of a second before he quickly rests them on the sides of his body.

"not that empty anymore" The Doctor follows him with a smirk slowly reaching for the young man's hand, a little touch before fully holding it. Y/n chuckles turning his face to the man next to him, he gently rubs his knuckles, is a cute little moment between them, Y/n feels something in his stomach he never really felt before, or maybe he's just hungry.

"you know what happened to me before you regenerate" Y/n suddenly says, he didn't want to but he knew it was something to be said sooner or later.

"yep" The Doctor says popping the p, his mood dropped slightly but his hand is still holding Y/n's a little tighter,

"I lead 10 people to death, I didn't save them, I saved myself" he admits, his voice slightly broken

"that's what you were supposed to do, I couldn't bare the thought of loosing you Y/n." The Doctor reveals looking directly in the young man's eyes, he knows that comment is selfish, but it's the truth, he wants to know more about Y/n, about who he is or what he become.

"I fell in a time vortex" he realises ignoring The Doctor's comment, "I felt my body wither and die or age back to when I was born, my body shredded with the time winds I-" he stops biting his tongue before continuing "I touched every point in history, I'm there as I'm speaking, my head, it is filled with information I shouldn't have, it hurts." he lets out not noticing the tears running down his cheeks

"I can take it away" The Doctor says reaching the man's cheek with his free hand, he brushes his cheek wiping away a tear.

"don't you dare" Y/n says firmly, he can stand the pain, he wants that knowledge.

"what am I? am I like you now? will I regenerate? can I die at all? It's like a tango in my chest!" Y/n asks many questions as his mind runs in the thousands of possibilities.

"there was a legend in my planet, about the Timelords origin, someone says we are nothing but evolved humans, it's not proved, but you Y/n, you might have evolved in something closer." The Doctor brushes Y/n's hair away from his face, the room go darker and the stars on the ceiling started to glow, Y/n smiles and a light shaped as a star appeared on his face, this sight made The Doctor's hearts almost melt as well as Y/n's. They look at eachother and right there The Doctor thinks he found someone who will stay. They share a kiss, not stolen, not meaningless, not rushed; it's sweet, waited, slow, they both take their time, they then part they're silent for a second before Y/n breaks it.

"I want to drive the TARDIS with you" Y/n says not really asking more like demanding it. The Doctor laughs

"that's a lovely idea" he says trying to hide his excitement but failing miserably.

They both go down stairs after Y/n showered and packed most of his clothes. Rose is stealing Y/n's cereals wondering around the house eating loudly before stopping in the study.

"Is that your dad's study?" She asks taking a bite

"umh yea, he actually died in there, couldn't bare the loss of mom shortly after my sister. Couldn't keep the family going, what a pathetic little man." Y/n says not really interested in what's he's saying, he doesn't like his father, he was never at home, and when he was he was locked in his study till night time.

Rose closes the door feeling chills as she looks at the chair where he died. They then go in the living room and Y/n lights up a cigarette opening one of the windows.

"you know, all the men in my family died here, my great-great grandfather passed away in his sleep, my great grandfather died after a bee attacked him in the garden, my grandad was found dead in the library and my father in his study, both died of heart attack." he admits breathing the smoke in and out, it's been a while since the last cigarette, he needs it.

"let's hope you won't carry on that tradition." Rose mumbles a bit unsettled by this information

"let's go shall we?" The Doctor says looking at both of his companions.

They leave the masion getting in the TARDIS leaving the bags with his clothes in his room, it's smaller than the one in the mansion but still pretty, he got the stars on the ceiling of his own room to attach them in this one, and the 'I Want To Believe' poster of course.

As he goes back in the main room The Doctor is patiently waiting for him near the console with a wide grin on his face. Y/n smiles at the man rushing to the console while Rose is on the phone with her mother, Y/n doesn't know what they're talking about but it's clearly something Rose doesn't care about.

The Doctor carefully explains how the comands work and what they are for, Y/n already knows something, watching The Doctor driving helped him even if he never really watched the control as much as he watched The Doctor.

The man looks at Y/n starting to drive the TARDIS "watch closely if you want to learn" Y/n smirks tilting his head slightly which makes The Doctor quickly look away.

"I'm watching" he says in a casually flirty tone to which The Doctor responds with a glance

[none-shall-caricature-me]

I've noticed that, probably due to a desire to alleviate the grim nature of the original, many xuexiao fanfic writers opt to focus on (twisted or fluffy) romantic feelings of the characters. The emphasis ends up being on their romantic / platonic / sexual attraction rather than their incredibly juicy ideological contest and the antagonistic tension mixed with intrigue that Xue Yang shows towards Xiao Xingchen. Basically, there is too much 'lovers / froends' and not enough 'enemies' in their enemies - to - lovers / friends story. (I'm not criticising that. I'm a sucker for their mushier side too. But I'm equally a sucker for a good brutal battle of creeds.)

So let me fill this gap by describing how DELICIOUS the exploration of the 'you're my enemy and u SUCK and your worldview is RIDICULOUS but I LOVE rotating you in the microwave testing the limits of your resolve' aspect is or can be. I'll use some moments from the show / novel that I find striking in this regard.

XXC is very kind but lacks the worldly experience to be spot - on empathetic (as others have pointed out). He's also rigid to a fault. This is a VERY unpopular interpretation of mine but I believe he can be selfish / negligent in his goodness - he sheds caution about possible repercussions on his near ones in his mission to fight evil. He was smart enough to figure out the Chang massacre and trace it to XY. He knows XY is incredibly vengeful and creative in his vengeance. He's had experience with powerful people who will obstruct justice. Yet he goes ahead with prosecuting XY even when Jin Guangshan acts shady and uncooperative. Didn't he consider that this might put a target on his well - known partner Song Lan ?

Welp, then the Baixue bloodbath happens and XXC very understandably blames himself. I know we like to say it wasn't his fault, and of course it technically wasn't, but he did commit a grave error in not thinking through the consequences. It could be a miscalculation, negligence or even cavalier tunnel - vision, depending on your opinion. But anyway, XXC's morale is shattered and as others (like ameliarating) have said, he determined to never end up harming others in his quest for righteousness again.

XY wiped out Baixue for revenge, but also to kill XXC's hopes and vision, again also mentioned by others. May be a stretch, but it could be XY's way of saying 'hah, you don't care to understand why the world is as awful as it is, and then blame ME for doing shitty things to live it up in a shitty world. So let me show you how things actually work, and why my existence and lifestyle are valid.' It's like a really fucked up method of self - affirmation for XY. (Just in case - I am neutral on XY's actions. The novel doesn't give us much insight into his thoughts, so I'll withhold judgement on the nature vs. nurture debate about XY. But he's definitely an interesting character).

Then XY starts infiltrating XXC's life in Yi City. Why does he stick around after healing ? I like to think it's initially because he's a) taking advantage of XXC's generous freebies cuz why not and b) wants to torment him, yes, but he's also very very curious about XXC. Maybe it's because XXC's still out here trying to do good when many people would've either quit and hardened their hearts, or been broken irreparably. So XY think's he'll get both schadenfreude and try to find out why this dumbass saved a highly suspicious dying man and continued on his goody goody quest instead of learning his lesson. The lesson XY tried to teach him. Maybe XXC's whole deal makes XY wonder how his life would be if he'd acted nicer and more socially acceptable. Would it have saved him any pain ? Would he have had true allies then ? Did he choose a life of callous crime because he is weak - willed and 'inferior' unlike the seemingly unbreakable superiority of XXC ?

So he makes XXC kill on 'night - hunts'. Perhaps to prove that XXC got manipulated into doing harm cuz he's dumb or full of hubris and refuses to wisen up, refuses to become more cynical and wary of people. This ties back into Baixue too. Also I think the book mentions the victims are residents who mocked / cheated XXC ? If that's true, it's like XY is 'introducing' XXC to taking bloody revenge just like XY did on the Chang clan and others who crossed him / his pals. Like he's enacting teaching XXC 'look, if you keep up the good deeds, eventually you'll meet someone who ruins you so you destroy that hope for humanity and become just like me. Your way will always end in disaster, and therefore I'm justified in living like I do.'

Of course, in the end XY realises that XXC's drive to better society was his way of coping with the harsh reality of humans, especially after being ousted from BSSR's mountain. XXC didn't want to live in a sordid world. Meanwhile XY's coping mechanism was to extort the sordid world for all he wanted.

There's a tiny moment in CQL where, after the fake night hunt slaughter, XXC walks past a smirking XY and his arm brushes XY's sleeve, whose grin grows larger. It's like XY's relishing in XXC so casually touching and hanging about him totally unawares. Also he's horny for XXC's combat skills.

So yeah. Antagonist obsessed with corrupting his enemy, wrapping him around his finger, but not willing to let go. He ended up being totally down to bask in XXC's obstinate kindness despite that being the very thing he wanted to disprove and destroy.

XXC hesitates to kill XY after the reveal. What does he get from XY? Maybe it was reassuring that someone as hard - hearted and self - centred as his friend was willing to stick around in no man's land with him. It's soothing because it makes it seem like the world isn't that cruel, that perhaps the potential for good exists in people, hence helping XXC cope with his existential anxiety. He has to hold on to that hope even as his friend's identity is revealed, else there's nothing left for him since he can't bear to live in a world of evil and exploitation.

Why didn't XY move on after XXC's suicide ? If all he wanted was acceptance and shelter, he could've found so many other options. No, he was obsessed with XXC cuz he thought that if someone perfectly willing to kill him in the past over morals hesitated to kill him in the end, it must be an actual stable love. Where else, he thinks, would be find someone who loved him enough to not kill him despite them being such hostile opposites by character and circumstance ? Lots of people could love him cuz they agreed with his worldview or found it / him expedient. Who would love him even when their entire identity and misery opposed it ?

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

What’s your favorite thing about your favorite Thomas Sanders character(s)?

Hey, Anon :D

Well, let's see...

Remus/Remus: I love how unsettling he is and how he's not afraid to be himself and do fuck-all. I relate a lot to being a weird, creepy sibling people are hesitant to be around, so Remus is a big comfort character. Also, I love how he's also Creativity and has lots of his own ideas, no matter how dark they may be. And his humour sends me every time (lmao). And of course, the weird facts he knows is very relatable. And the fact he just wants to be listened to and acknowledged. And all the unhinged chaos from him. And the drama and him just being a freakin' goober.

Logan/Logan: Him being a giant nerd and one of the more-mature Sides in the group is a bit relatable. I love seeing him being enthusiastic about Crofter's and making puns and when he gets to indulge in things he really likes. Him being very intelligent but also struggling with emotions and such. How bad he just wants to be taken seriously and listened and such. How he keeps getting pushed around and ignored, and when as soon as he lashes out because he's hurting, the Others blame him for it. I love how he apologizes for lashing out, though it's always his right to. I relate a lot to how he represses the "icky emotions" or refrains himself because he thinks he can't be emotional if he's to be taken seriously.

Roman/Roman: how passionate he is about things he loves, like acting and Disney and his creative merits. How he keeps getting used and manipulated and he's just so confused because he needs clear structure as the Ego, but everything is just jumbled and he's not sure what's right to do anymore. All of the angst with this poor guy is just relatable. How happy he gets when Logan asked him for his creative help!! That was a vulnerable and wholesome moment. How creative he gets and how he shows he knows his fellow Sides and friends through his gifts (him getting Janus socks for warmth and writing an entire story/fanfic/play about Sherlock for Logan). He's just so thoughtful and caring. He shows he loves them through playful teasing and jokes and banter!! And he's growing and learning and apologizing when he screws up. Like, him and Virgil getting closer and becoming besties. How insecure he is because he's terrified of failure and being imperfect and especially of rejection.

Virgil/Virgil: he's been a fav of mine since middle school, which was around the time the series was first starting and soon we met him as Anxiety (way back in 2016). I've related to him especially as someone who was a bit emo and also struggles A Lot with anxiety and an anxiety disorder(s). His fashion sense with his purple jacket/hoodie is my fav thing, btw. He was a big part of my comfort growing up. Kind of a nostalgic comfort. I love how he has spiders all over his room because I relate to loving spiders and not being scared of them. I love his sarcasm and humour and his counterpoints. I love his debate episode with Logan. This snarky spiderling was a big reason why I'm still alive, believe or not, and so he's an important character to me. Just a big Fav to me.

Janus/Janus: This sarcastic, villain-aesthetic serpent is important to me because of the fact that he's both Deceit AND Self-Perseveration. It's so damn relatable because I was the kid who knew how to lie so well that my lies were almost always regarded as truth. I had to lie and hide things to survive because I grew up as a queer Christian kid in a scary and unsupportive place. If I slipped up the slightest, there was absolute horror to pay. Also, the queer-coded villain aesthetic is one of my fav things. This man doesn't need to be that melodramatic but he is because that's what he likes to do. He's a petty lil drama king, and I love that about him. Also his [implied?] angst of having this fear of vulnerability and getting hurt again is... it's very important to me.

Patton/Patton: I relate to him the least, but oh boy do I have things to SAY. Him a total dad and making so much puns is funny to me. It's very relatable to be the kind of person so take care [or try to] of everyone else but forget about myself. Him loving cats but being allergic is comical, lmao. Him trying to repress and hide his "icky emotions" and just showing the happy positive ones is something that's a bit too relatable. As someone who's struggled with smiling depression, it can get to the point where people don't believe you when you finally show a hint of not being okay. And so you just go back to faking it, and then get ignored again whilst taking care of everyone else. But yeah, he's a pretty good character and almost reminds me of some family of mine.

c!Thomas/c!Thomas: one thing I will never get over about this character is the fact that he's a struggling artist and creator that is going through A Lot and still healing and discovering things about himself. That's some of the most relatable shit. He's so human and shows the healing process as a bumpy road which is TRUE to reality and I love it. His Sides and him are learning together, and that's just beautiful. Maybe not my most fav, but still pretty high up there on the Brainrot chart.

As you can see, I have things to say about ALL of them. All of the main seven, anyway. I'm sure I'll have lots to say once we meet and see Orange.

[sorry this was so long]

[classicallymar]

I think one of the biggest misunderstandings b/w Aziraphale and Crowley is what "good" actually means. In the novel, Crowley says, "Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that." Crowley has an acute understanding of what Heaven actually stands for, and it isn't "good" as Crowley understands it. Crowley understands that "good" in the Heaven/Hell dichotomy is more about obedience than it is empathy, compassion, or kindness. 

He also understands that Hell's definition of "good" is, really, anything that goes contrary to their plans. They don't particularly care if any given act is "good" by Crowley's definition, so long as it doesn't lead people towards the wrong side. 

Aziraphale, on the other hand, hasn't had the experiences Crowley has. He's experienced fear and been stifled, and he has absolutely been hurt by Heaven, but he still feels beholden to the Divine Plan, wants the approval of Heaven, and above all, still has his faith in Heaven. He thinks that Heaven as a system is fixable, that it is a fundamentally "good" framework within which he can work. He doesn't understand what Heaven has done to Crowley, not really. 

But Aziraphale applies his understanding of good to everything, even (or I might argue especially) to his relationship with Crowley. He still believes, at least a little, that demons are, by nature, evil. He sees Crowley as an exception to the rule because he believes that Crowley was wronged by Heaven, but that he can fix the system that wronged Crowley. 

The problem with both of them is that they never bothered to explain their definition of good to the other, and never opened up that debate. Aziraphale sees going back to Heaven as a righting of wrongs, and wants Crowley by his side to do it, while Crowley sees going back to Heaven as something that would irrevocably change him into something he's not. Crowley doesn't want to be obedient to Heaven, he wants to be able to do nice things without justifying them, but also have the freedom to do selfish things once in a while.

Crowley wants more than anything to be allowed the free will of a human, while that terrifies Aziraphale because he has yet to dismantle a Heaven-centric framework of good and build an understanding that you can be good for the sake of being good and still not be obedient to Heaven, something that Crowley has been comfortable with for millennia at this point. After all, it's Crowley who finds the irony of an angel doing bad and a demon doing good funny, and has from the beginning.

[kookygobbledygook]

Okay, I am about to piss off both sides of the debate.

I believe Cassandra shouldn't be articulate.

On one hand, yes, Cassandra Cain is infantalised by the fandom and that is in part due to her start in comics with being non-verbal and neuroatypical due to David Cain's training. It is rooted in ablism, racism and misogyny.

HOWEVER, as not only a person who has worked for over a decade in group homes for disabled people, but as a neuroatypical woman who grew up with multiple speech impediment, a stutter, and who had to do so much speech therapy as a kid that it ironed out my Australian accent, I hate that the discourse seems to be divided down the line of non-verbal, illiterate Cass is infantilising and verbal, literate Cass is empowered.

When you work in disability you soon learn there is a wide canyon between having an intellectual disability and being stupid. I have worked with dozens of people with intellectual disabilities over the years. None of them had been stupid. The most significantly disabled person I worked with never learnt to talk, needed help feeding himself, with personal care and almost all aspects of his daily life. He was also stubborn, cheeky, funny, impatient, enthusiastic about life, and had the best bullshit meter on the planet. He knew if you were there to help him or if you weren't worthy of his trust and that trust was hard earned. He was a fully fleshed-out, complete, adult man, with likes and interest and opinions which he couldexpressvery clearly. He passed away a few years ago and I miss him daily.

And he wasn't stupid. You see what I'm getting at?

So to loop back around to Cass, it annoys me that some people seem to think that Cass needs to be as articulate as an average person or write and read at the same level as her peers, to have her character progress. Why can't she improve and these areas still be a struggle for her? Why can't she be a bit underdeveloped in these areas not matter how hard she tries? To me it's like how there are people who learn as second language and are easily fluent, while there are other who will always struggle with articles, or tenses or the order of words or the use of plurals. That's not a sign of intelligence, why should it be that way in Cass' case?

I know people have shown examples of Cass speaking in lengthy sentences in the comics as evidence that Cass is articulate now and... yeah? But I kind of hate it? To me it's like the writers have given up on trying to depict what someone who struggles with language sounds like and have just ignored it, and treated Cass' dialogue like anyone else's. It makes her a flatter character imo.

One of the reasons I was drawn to Cass as a character was because she was so unlike me in many respects but in others so similar. The difficulty in articulating myself was a big one. And I hate that's been slowly wittled away by the writers at DC and now the fandom.

I still have a stutter. It's not a typical st-st-stutter. My brain blocks of the word before I even start to say it. But most people don't notice because on a completely subconscious level I search out synonyms. It's weird because if you got me to read out of a book, I would end up saying different words to what are written down, but they would still mean the same thing. And I don't even notice I'm doing it! Brains are weird. They compensate.

BUT I still have a stutter. Just because I work around it, and just because it's invisible in most situations doesn't mean it's not there.

We rail against other media when they find a magic cure to someone's disability. Hell I remember the outcry when DC decided to get Bab's out of the wheelchair. But because Cass' disability is invisible and more complicated to convey, we seem fine with it being watered down and framing that as character progression.

I want to see a Cass who is disabled and also an adult:

A Cass in speaks as much as she can in short clipped monosyllabic sentences because it's easier for her

A Cass who uses gestures and face expressions more often if she can

A Cass who struggles to find the right term sometimes and comes up with something left-of-field like people who have english as a second language calling a slug a "snail with no home" or calling raisins "elderly grapes"

A Cass who takes photos of crime scenes instead of writing down clues

A Cass who listens to audiobooks because physically reading is so much effort it takes the joy out of the story

A Cass who uses voice-to-text on her phone, but if she does resort to physically texting, she uses emojis

A Cass who struggles to hold down a typical job, and knows she's not built for university despite her intelligence because the type of intelligence she has is not valued or accommodated for

A Cass that leans more into the vigilante side of her life because this is the area that she is undisputedly a genius and where she doesn't feel as vulnerable

A Cass and a Babs who love each other but get into conflict because Babs does value the more typical hallmarks of intelligence as a computer genius librarian

A Cass who struggles with bills and banking and paperwork because it's deliberately set up to be labyrinthine to people who don't struggle with reading and writing. What chance does she have?

A Cass who not only has to deal with ablism but the intersection of ablism and racism as well as ablism and misogyny

A Cass who needs help with this stuff but is too afraid to ask for it because she's worried she'd be judged or looked down on or patronised

A Cass who IS judged or looked down on or patronised - even by people close to her, because even people we love have internalised ablism

A Cass who, in spite of being quiet is not stoic or shy, but acts the way she actually is. Funny, sharp, cheeky, cheerful, feral and kind. It's just her words are carefully selected precision strikes that can take down the other Bats in a single word.

That's the Cassandra Cain I want to see. And unfortunately I don't think I will, even in regular DC comics or in fandom spaces.

Because the idea that someone can struggle with developmental disability and also be smart is too much for people to wrap their heads around

[silverstonesainz-archive]

🫧 carlos + one bed trope <3

sharing is caring [cs55]

summary: one bed and a life changing debate about extraterrestrials. note: i had to write this as a blurb. i dont think a head cannon could do this justice.

"ah," carlos breathes, scaratching the back of his neck, "i'll take the floor."

it's not like you can share the bed. it's a twin, with one pillow and one blanket. not unless you want to be pressed up against carlos.

well. you do. but it's not like you were gonna tell him that.

you pout, "carlos no, i feel bad."

"don't it's fine. what kind of gentleman would i be if i let you sleep on the floor?"

so thats how you end up, carlos on the floor right by the twin bed while you lay there awkwardly on your own. the air is thick, both of you contemplating whether or not 8:30 is considered too early to go to bed. carlos is scrolling aimlessly through his phone but you, you were having a staring contest with the ceiling. the silence is killing you, and you didn't know how to break it but you sure as hell wanted to try.

"hey carlos?"

"yes ducky?"

you scowl at the nickname, but make no comment about it. "do you believe in aliens?"

carlos's finger pauses mid scroll. he looks up at the bed, still unable to see you. he sets his phone down by his side, pushing his hair off his forehead. "...no?"

you jolt up in bed, peaking over the edge to give the spaniard a wide-eyed, confused, 'you must be fucking joking' stare. in return, his eyes are just as wide, thick brows furrowed in confusion.

"you don't believe in aliens?!"

your shriek opened up an intense debate over whether or not extraterrestrial beings exist. safe to say, after your less than convincing arguments, carlos was still a nonbeliever. the conversation didn't stop there though, shifting from beings living in the universe to the great expanse of space. and in your heated debate, carlos had managed to make his way up onto the bed with you, sitting on the opposite end while you seat leaning up against the headboard.

"i'm just surprised that you believe that it's just us in this universe carlos." you conclude, hugging your knees tighter to your body. "i feel like you of all people would believe in the green beings in the sky."

he shakes his head. "well what can i say, i'm a man of many surprises."

you smile shyly, and he chuckles in return. time seems to have escaped the two of you, and sleep begins to creep up on you. you yawn softly and carlos shifts in his seat.

"i should let you sleep, it's gotten late."

you shake your head, another yawn coming over you. "mm, no. i'm fine."

"you just yawned again. we can always continue this conversation tomorrow ducky."

you glare at him as you move under the covers, "don't call me ducky."

"not until you stop talking."

"i'll stop talking if you come over here." you bite, patting the spot next to you.

carlos fights a smile, shaking his head as he mumbles something in spanish you don't quite catch. he doesn't put up a fight, moving closer to you and laying under the covers by you. the two of you try to put as much space as the twin bed would allow. carlos lays on his side, watching as exhaustion pulls your lids down.

"i just don't believe that we're all alone in this universe." you mumble, eyes completely shut and your word slightly slurred

you hear a deep rumble emit from carlos. you were far too tired to open your eyes, to see the smug smirk on his lips or the way he shakes his head at your stubbornness.

"but we're all not really alone are we... i mean we have each other, right?"

you can't help the way your heart speeds up, can't fight the tired smile curving onto your lips.

"yeah... we have each other."

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain! I hope you well

You know I really agree with you when you say that Jungkook broke character when he held Tae at the 2018 MAMA's. There was a look he had that displayed a seriousness and maturity that you don't often see with him. You can even see the change in his demeanor when he realizes he may have shown too much. I feel this way about the GDA 2020 moment when he lets Tae lean on him aswell. I don't believe this was planned or fanservice because Tae was clearly not doing well and Jungkook was being attentive and caring towards him throughout the event. I think alot of people debate whether these moments are genuine because we are not really used to seeing the dynamic between them. We rarely get to see them comforting eachother, hell we barely get to see them just having a normal conversation outside of some teasing. I mean there were people who thought that Taekook were not close in 2018 only for us to find out from Tae and the other members that they were crying alot together and leaning on eachother. Then ITS showed us just how comfortable and domestic they are with eachother despite that scripted conversation. They really don't show us much in terms of the more personal, emotional side of their relationship, so I think it really confuses people when they get a glimpse of it. This is why they can be physically clingy with eachother, spend alot of personal time together and people will still say they aren't that close.

Hi anon!

I am well, thank you for asking!

Yes, I agree with your thoughts! What a moment that MAMA 2018 comforting hug was. It's a very significant one for me, because while it doesn't neccesarily proof that they're in a romantic relationship, it does to me proof that there is no way in h*ll that those two were distant back then.

Jk goes soft (his face) and then tense right after. It really looks as though he acted on instict and then catches himself... but it's already too late... he already has Tae in his arms and he does not let go.. he even pulls him back in again. I love this moment. It's super sad ofcourse and I wish they didn't have to cry, but to me this is an instance where we see Jk just going for it while he usually shields himself. Tae was so close, he was so sad, Jk was also so sad... he just couldn't resist.

The GDA footage to me was not staged (though I did see that go around in fandom ofcourse). It makes no sense as fanservice to me. Tae and Jk were close throughout and it was clear that Tae wasn't feeling great.

In both moments it's Jk taking care of Tae. Jk is more subtle than Tae, but we see his care for him in so many instances. Be it checking on Tae when he's using sharp knives, be it caressing Tae's neck when he arrived at BV, be it taking Tae's arm and puling him with him at the cooking run, be it supporting Tae's back when they dropped into the water together... I could probably come up with many more instances.

Though I hate the ITS talk and what it stands for, it did bring us to some sort of conclusion in the way Tkk interactions were gonna be at and they have been able to be more real ever since then.