#so we’ll go w that

[luvrxbunny]

“yeah you like that? you love it? aww you love it, baby? you love— oh fuck. do- do you love me? tell- shit. tell me you love me. tell me you love me, sweetheart. holy fuck m’gonna cum. tell— i love you. i love you so much. ohh—“

[stuckinapril]

reminding myself on this busy morning that i also have dreams of taking piano lessons & singing lessons & also honing my writing skills & absorbing as many books as i used to when i was a kid & at the very least taking up cute tennis dates & dabbling into art & just becoming an artistic generalist. also reminding myself that there are pre-meds out there who managed to pursue something they’re passionate in (some are even professional athletes) & still excelled in medicine & if they can do it so can I

[simmersofia]

New story coming soon

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”

DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.

EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.

YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”

DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.

“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”

And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…

PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.

VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…

“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”

“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”

“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”

“How could you say that…?”

DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.

“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”

SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?

“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”

“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”

“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”

“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”

DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.

“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”

RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.

VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?

I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…

I can. It’s enough.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I can at least try for a little longer…

VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.

[campbyler]

hii i was just wondering if we'll ever find out why will was crying in chapter 4 🙏🙏🙏 maybe it was said in the chapter and im not reading it right but i dont think it was 😭 tyy :))

i think we briefly referenced in ch5 and we’ve answered a few times on here, but he was just frustrated with himself and upset because max and hopper and justin were mad at him! not the biggest deal ever — was just included to show that A) will is a frustrated crier and B) mike cared about the fact that he was crying despite everything!

[pepperpixel]

I’m sick of the feeling that I always have to have enough pictures for a photoset to post anything. So. I’m rebelling against that stupid fuckin feeling and just posting this chara stand alone! There’ll probably be a frisk to go w it eventually! But! U’ll just have to wait lol

[zeb-z]

as much as Bad very much does care for the well being of all the eggs, as much as Leo of course cares for her tio, the fact remains that Roier is her closest family and caretaker right now, and he Does Not Trust Bad. not with the time of day, not with the location of Pepito’s room, certainly not with Leo. and it’s like, after everything that happened in Purgatory, it’s to be expected. it doesn’t matter how much Bad has cared for the eggs, it doesn’t matter how much we as the audience know he’d do everything in his power to keep any one of them safe - the fact remains that his actions have tarnished the trust he’s built with some of the other islanders. it remains to be seen how this’ll come into play with the rest of Red, as they’re still missing, but it’s super obvious with Roier.

I doubt Roier will be on tomorrow to take care of Leo, and I know Bad is planning on giving her cookies and taking care of her. and I’d bet money this’ll be another point of tension against Bad - yes, even though he’s watching out for Leo. I keep coming back around to actions having consequences, but it’s prevalent, and this is one of the many Bad is experiencing - a complete lack of faith and trust from the others because of his actions in Purgatory.

[melrosing]

anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me

[thefuseoftemptation]

Eddie is the type to take a step back, put his hands on his hips & look something over when he's through w it only for you to stand by & question if he ‘got it?’ & then him tell you "no."

[stardustdiiving]

I would read your zhongxiao codependent yuri Like, I do generally picture them as a vaguely father/son dynamic BUT THAT IS NOT CANON. It's just as much fun to view them through a romantic interpretation! Idk why people can't view the same characters in different kinds of relationships without being weird about it.

Anyway I love your vision and would love to hear more about it lakdjs

THANK U SO MUCH Im not sure if I’m gonna write zx in the future since I’ve tended to be shy about posting my stuff relating to them for over a yr now, but I did post this fic with them last year while trying to get a hold on how to write them (mind the tags it’s pure angst omg). I was too shy to tag it as ship since it didn’t feel shippy enough, which is kind of funny to me in hindsight bc I reread it and am like. Man I think only a zx shipper would write this NUFNVJVJV

Post got kind of lot Im gonna go on a tangent about them under the cut

Honestly my theory for why ppl r very set on the father/son interpretation is everyone’s immediate thought on to how to make the power imbalance between them seem less uncomfortable is to apply a parental interpretation to it. Which is fine ofc, I get it, but the way ppl push it as canon a lot kind of grates on me a little bc they’re usually incredibly passive aggressive and pushy even if u clearly designate ur post as ship OTL

Also not really a fan of the characterizations either since ppl tend to treat Xiao like a moody teenager Zhongli has to reel in (this is hilariously reminiscent of the post I made about how ppl handle scaramouche and nahida a bit ago haha). And idk I just feel kind of polarized about the headcanon overall bc I associate it with people being really uncomfortable and frustrating about zx

I just like how there’s sort of an imbalance to them, some zxs like them being more fluffy and functional but I sort of like it where it’s not like, entirely dysfunctional but I’m prioritizing a specific kind of character study over romance. This tends to be how a lot of my ships go ngl I just sometimes enjoy the intensity/intimacy of romantic feelings thrown into the mix if it makes it interesting but I’m not often interested in a lot of my ships following more standard romance plots(?) I guess? Unless it’s specific ones. Which sounds clinical when I put it like that but this is just bc I am very aromantic NHFBVJVJ

When I say codependency in zhongxiao honestly it’s sort of a theoretical(?) codependency—not sure how to word it? I think Xiao would be really fucked up if he didn’t have Zhongli in his life suddenly but I don’t think his relationship with getting attached to people invokes what people would majorly think of when they think of codependency in a ship I suppose. It’s moreso I just feel Xiao could be at his worst with dehumanizing himself in comparison to other people with Zhongli, because said mental state is driven by how he feels about debt, service, and duty which are very closely tied with devotion and how he would feel about someone he considers his god and leader, as well as someone who saved him

It’s fun this is paired with Zhongli who generally knows how to work with Xiao kind of understands the self destructive depth Xiao’s loyalty/devotion comes with. Also fun they have been around each other for a very long time and Xiao as one of the adepti is familiar with the past I think Zhongli appreciates having around. They work but it’s also a case where Zhongli is in such a position of power over Xiao its kind of very delicate situation that’s hard for both of them to navigate. Which is fun to explore. I esp love contrasting it with other Xiao pairings (actually i think i still have that xiaoven fic up on my ao3 where I tried to convey a specific interpretation of them in a similar exploration vein too)

I totally get why people wouldn’t like it (I feel a lot of my opinions on xiao ships just clash with a lot of fandom consensus so bad all the time And it’s just bc I’m like this I’m not even trying to be contrarian or anything. HELDINCJD) but I just tend to handle shipping in a specific way. It’s not I don’t enjoy fluffy or lighthearted zl and xiao stuff I actually enjoy it a lot I just like there being layers. This makes it feel more impactful when I think about how Zhongli looks out for Xiao in canon or how Xiao gets like textually flustered talking to him (lantern rite 2023 was so tailored to my tastes it’s not even funny)

[calamity-queen]

Actually obsessed with the Vees it’s so bad

[stuckinapril]

One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps

[luuxxart]

hitoshi art from recently bc I will probably not finish chapter 5/6 before September <3

[first one is for this playlist]

[xannerz]

☁️🌞☁️

[spreadsheetdyke]

new @sweatermuppet sticker to go with the frog below my laptop keyboard <3

[ID: a sticker of a red-eyed tree frog slightly covered by a sticker with black text on a white background that reads “you can just wake up and be transsexual! it’s your choice and yours alone! don’t agonize… transgenderize!”. the text on this sticker is surrounded by black stars of varying sizes. /end ID]

[rainymoodlet]

oh god i’m boutta tear my hair out.

i do not feel as though i’ve shown enough of our contestants to justify sending any of them home just yet 😭 looking back on my favorite longform bachelor challenges show me that there is far more content dedicated to each contestant and i have been woefully underperforming in that regard!! they’re all my babies i don’t want to just send them home with nothin’ 🥺

so in an effort to make up for that, episode five of kiss me in komorebi+ is going to be quite a long one. as of now, idk how many parts it’s going to have - but i can tell you, i’m not going to be shortcutting or slacking okay 😤 i’ve been neglecting y’alls babies and thats inexcusable