#some hockey bros are so fucking dumb like

[hischiersjohnston]

the fact that people are still ragging on willy for the migraines and sitting out of the first two or three games, when it was already said he got ocular migraines (aka the man CANNOT SEE AND WAS LOSING VISION) like?? and then he proceeds to be the reason why the leafs even forced a game 7 ??

[theoshn]

At this late age of 27 years, I am experiencing something for the first time. This experience is extremely surreal and is, in fact, dealing me psychic damage:

I have read a work of GAY LITERATURE that did not make me immediately run to a03 for fan content.

You are thinking to yourself, “But Theo, I have read gay books that are simply not that good and I have no desire to linger in that book with those characters.” Yeah bro, me too. I also love dumb erotic brain popcorn about hockey players. That’s not what I’m talking about actually, hold tight!

What makes this situation unique in my life is the REASON I have not sprinted to a03. These books were SO GOOD, so meticulously planned, so painfully tragic and romantic, the characters were so ROUNDED and AWFUL and SCREAMINGLY, SEARINGLY PERFECT, that I cannot fathom reading fic about them.

There is one person I trust to write more about these people in their world, and that person is CS PACAT BECAUSE THE BOOKS ARE THE FUCKING DARK RISE BOOKS.

Like, please understand. I am a child of the 00s. I grew up roleplaying Drarry on fucking Facebook Forum, I read and wrote Drarry fic like my life depended on it. I came up in a fandom with inarguably garbage source material that the fans made something BEAUTIFUL out of — that’s its own beautiful and shiny thing, love that for us, I still draw crummy Drarry art because I still have Drarry brain rot.

I am also NOT A STRANGER TO PACAT! I started with Captive Prince, I love Captive Prince, but you know what? I also love Captive Prince fic.

There’s something that Pacat has done with Dark Rise that seems like it was specifically built for me, fucking *Collar* style. I cannot stop thinking about it, I cannot stop pacing about it, I have never before understood the term “going feral” like I do right now, but I CANNOT SOOTHE MYSELF IN THE ONLY WAY I KNOW (read: fic) BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENS TO THEM.

I am also 100% sure that this is at least in part because the series is not finished and some part of my lizard brain is like, trying to keep this experience pure while it’s still happening.

I know I’m like, screaming into the void here but does anyone know what the fuck I’m talking about? Do you guys do this? Just me? Help!

[rulerzreachf4n7]

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE THOSE ANNOYING ASS PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY CHRISTIAN ONES, no offense to y'all, just learn TO FUCKING MIND UR BUSINESS AND USE COMMON SENSE) SAYING AND YAPPING ABOUT "erm guys, you uhm, shouldn't take ur kids to watch inside out 2 🤓👆" LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP KAREN AND LISTEN TO MY DAMN REASONS NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT

Reason number one- you're five year olds aren't the targated demographic for this movie

Yes come at me all you fucking want but this isn't like the first movie where it's much more innocent and doesn't handle heavy topics like having an anxiety attack and puberty, I'm sorry Karen but you're two six year old kids won't be needing to learn about what puberty is, TRUST ME THAT IS GOING TO SAVED FOR ANOTHER TIME, and it was obvious this movie is targated for teens, especially the ones born in 2010 cause like half of y'all (including me) are 12/13 years old already, and just because it's a Pixar film doesn't mean it can't be mature it was definitely not targated for people under puberty

Reason number two- take a fucking hint and stop being homophobic

Personally me, RILEY X VAL IS A HILL I AM WILLING TO DIE ON, I WILL DEFEND THAT SHIP LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, but from a more...different view...just because two girls are interacting and holding hands DOES NOT FUCKING MEAN THEY'RE DATING TAKE A FUCKING HINT YOU TRUMP SUPPORTER, sure Riley x val may not be canon due to obvious homophobic people complaining, and a kinda underrated one where people think the age gap is too big given that Riley is a freshman but I think Val might be a sophomore? Not sure it's never like mentioned but calling val a super senior is fucking weeeird bro, and also Disney is a SHIT at writing gay couples and probably would stereotype them is more to add of how bad it'll make them look

Number three- surprisingly there's racism???

Not really a big one but I've heard some people complaining about Val's hockey team, saying it's "too diverse"...BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN " TOO DIVERSE " YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BE AS WHITE AS RILEY??? not much to speak on here but it truly is infuriating

Number four- Riley's belief system makes her a bad person??

Another small one but still very annoying people complaining that Riley's not a good person and has a bad belief system but even though she considers herself a good person but makes mistakes it doesn't matter because God isn't in it and that alone apparently makes her a bad person...SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M ALL FOR RESPECTING RELIGIONS BUT THE PEOPLE I HATE MOST ON EARTH ARE FUCKING CHRISTIANS LIKE TAKE A FUCKING HINT WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR??? SHIT WENT OUT THE WINDOW SINCE ADAM AND EVE SINNED

And number five- peoples ever decreasing media literacy

Every since the movie came out people have been complaining over Anxiety and saying she's "the villain"...im going to take your hand while I'm saying this...DO Y'ALL NOT KNOW WHAT FUCKING ANXIETY IS SHE LITERALLY EXPLAINS IT HER FUCKING SELF WHEN SHE'S FIRST INTRODUCED YOU DUMB BITCHES, " B-But she made Riley have a panic attack🥺🥺 " first of all It's an ANXIETY ATTACK second, people were saying "w-why was anxiety making Riley over think and worry so much? 🥺🥺" TAKE A LONG WILD GUESS IT'S IN HER FUCKING NAME, I'm convinced people who went to watch it, saw thirty minutes of it then left cause they didn't even know what anxiety is and what it causes, half of the people watching don't understand anxiety's motives CAUSE Y'ALL HAVE NEVER HAD ANXIETY, coming from someone who has anxiety and social anxiety I get where she's coming from (and maybe secretly rooting for her at the end, like fr let her cook) and y'all wouldn't have acted like this in the first movie cause everyone HAS experienced sadness, everyone HAS HAD sad moments so it's no difference with anxiety, except this time only a certain amount of people will get it

Also am I the only but I fucking HATED Riley's friends like they were SO GODDAMN ANNOYING 💀💀

[naanima]

Oh dudes. I sometimes forget how not many of you remember or witnessed the whole Tyler Seguin as a Boston Bruins phase of hockey history. I gotta be honest I witnessed the whole thing from a distance because I was fully committed to the Flyers back then (all the heartbreak). The only thing I knew about him was that he was Bruins' hot young superstar who won the 2011 Stanley Cup with the team in his rookie year, and that he liked to party.

Dudes, the pics of him & Brad Marchand drunk & dancing on tables were legendary & amazing (below, you can Google for more on your own). Gods they were both so young.

But yes, from afar I couldn't help but like him bcos Tyler Seguin have personality in spades, and he just seemed so damn honest (so dumb). A young, talented, self aware himbo fuckboi ticked all my boxes, but I was starting to ease back from hockey due to some heartbreak. So I watched from afar, watched as his post rookie season didn't live up to the hype, watched him get skewered by the Boston media for being uncontrollable & a party animal, watched the rumours spread about how management had to post guards in front of his hotel room to stop him from making a run to get drunk & party.

It was a complete & utter shitshow bcos it was so public & must have been so humiliating for him. The Bruins organisation did nothing to protect him, they fucking let the rumours run rampant, let him be crucified. When the news came out that Boston traded him for Dallas I was shocked & angry, which took me aback bcos I wasn't even a Bruins fan or even really a Seguin fan. But the way everything went down, how front office decided on his trade (FOREVER curated on YouTube) , how the supposed last straw was him turning up to team breakfast late (I'm not even kidding - fucking breakfast? That fucking story kept on getting retold) left such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Despite all the shit that was said about him, despite the way the Boston Bruins handled everything, Tyler Seguin, the himbo has never publicly said one bad thing about the Bruins. My himbo prince might not be the smartest person, but he has always been receptive to feedback and is self aware enough not to be an asshole, in public at the least.

But honestly after Tyler's trade I only did a cursory look of his life there - he seemed happy, but didn't do further digging because I was on my way out of hockey completely.

A decade later I return to hockey, and I'm shocked that Seguin is still around, and still part of Dallas Stars. Looking back I'm fucking glad he got traded to Dallas. Bcos Dallas hockey fans fucking love him, and Seguin finally got a team of bros he can love & ho with proper. There will still be shits but Tyler Seguin went to Dallas as their superstar, as their great hope, they fucking love him. And in return he did everything he could - played the best hockey he could, broke his body, changed his playing style both physically & mentally - to get that team the Stanley Cup.

I don't know if Dallas Stars will win the Cup this year (🪵🪵🪵🪵🪵🪵), but the Stars are in the second round of the 2023 playoffs (be ashamed that Pavs got a Dick Trick and you fucks still COULDN'T win). And it has been almost exactly ten years since the Bruins traded Seguin to the Stars - 4 July 2013. Hockey & I love its narrative.

So, dear hockey gods, I don't even know if you all exists, and I know exactly how it is all superstitious bullshit. However, it has been almost exactly a decade since the fucking trade, the Bruins has been knocked out of the playoff, and in Tyler Seguin you have the perfect narrative. Are you gonna fucking deliver for me & my himbo prince?

Dallas Stars, are you going to show them all?

(Or we get fucked over, and hockey proves once again that there is NO god, superstition is bullshit, and the team who can effectively exploit the opposing team's weakness, and you know, play actually good hockey wins.)

I AM PREPARED. WILL I BE JOYOUS and roll around in the NARRATIVE, or is this gonna be my Villain Origin Story? (I'm gonna fucking support the fucking Leafs or the Oilers if these fucks lose).

[deadaccount1211]

TD 2023 Review: The Final Chapter

Spoilers Down Below.

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Episode 9: I ain't gonna lie from the way they structured this episode in the beginning. I already knew Caleb was winning immunity.

Funny screenshot I grabbed ^.

I started off this season liking Mkulia because I saw it as an alliance between two equals. But ever since the cheating plotline, they've only ever used MK as a punching bag. And then the cherry on top is Julia eliminating her for a second time.

Left a sour taste in my mouth tbh. And I can believe the hockey bros were dumb enough to vote her off. But you're telling me that Julia somehow convinced Priya and Damien that MK is the bigger threat between the two? She literally told you guys she eliminated Nichelle. But consistency be damned I guess.

Episode 10: I kinda wish the memory game was more about remembering events that happened through the season and less press a button on a ipad.

This julia vs damien rivalry is cooking. It's about time Julia faced some opposition in this competition.

A bit ironic considering they're athletes but I don't think Wayne and Raj have done well in a single competition this season.

Priya admitting she knows Julia is manipulative and then proceeding to get manipulated by Julia. ://////////

Me going into the elimination scene: Oh so the praleb drama is resolved! Priya or Caleb is going home right?

??

??

???

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN DAMIEN GOT ELIMINATED? WHAT THE FUCK???

Ok Julia shared her immunity with Caleb. Vote off Priya? She won last season??? It's not that hard???

"Sorry bro we can't vote off Priya because she's in love with Caleb" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT LOGIC? That's exactly why you should vote her off!

Damien running around the island looking for his idol and then getting dragged away screaming is legitimately pitiful to watch.

This season loves giving ppl undignified exits but this was the worst one of all.

I want to add on that I knew there was a very low chance Damien was gonna win given how his arc was structured. But this elim was bullshit, should've been Priya.

Episode 11:

Starting off the episode with the hockey bros saying they miss Damien is lame. Ya'll never interacted and you voted him off. Fuck off.

Julia starting an off screen alliance with Caleb is lame. I don't want to hear the excuse "They can only fit so much into 22 minutes." They did perfectly fine in S1? Why the steep downgrade in quality?

We finally get a non gen 1 cameo and it's fucking McArthur. God I hate this season.

This is the worst challenge of the season. This is the third time ya'll have done run around and be chased by animals challenge. At least nobody is farting this time around.

Maturing is realizing Raj was never gonna get a character arc and he's only here to be comedic relief. Sigh..

Julia being a challenge beast doesn't feel as fun as it did in S1. Probably because she's casually steamrolling the game rn.

They waited way too long to boot off one of the hockey bros. We literally only have two episodes left. How are they gonna be able to make wayne idependent and stand out on his own?

Episode 12:

Why is Julia so insistent on gaining Wayne's vote when she has the immunity idol?

Caleb really is whatever the plot demands him to be. He spent the first half of the season being a wannabe f boy. Now he wants to act all sweet n shit and say he don't wanna lie on Total Drama. Like please get the fuck out of here. Not even Millie was this annoying. Steroid ass freak.

Maybe it's the inner fanfic writer inside of me. But imagine if Damien was in this fear challenge and his final fear to overcome was Scary Girl. Would've been peak imo.

They're really giving Wayne a last minute character arc about learning how to be himself without Raj around.

Tennis Rivals cameo? Isn't RR supposed to be an in universe spinoff? Why are there more RR references than like Revenge or Pahkitew? Are those seasons getting swept under the rug?

They really tried to make this elimination suspenseful when we already know Julia has the idol.

I still like Priya overall. But i'd be lying if I said Season 2 makes it hard to do so. Besides a few mentions from Chris, her being a canonical winner has no effect on the story. Her storyline is a near identical repeat of last season but worse. Just change the genre from friendship to romance. And replace Millie with Caleb. It naturally ended in episode 10 but the writers wanted to stretch this shit as long as humanely possible so here's more problems for the two to overcome. I could go on and on but to sum it up, priya x caleb is ass.

The Finale:

Hmm. Who should I root for?

The guy who just became relevant last episode?

Generic romance plotline guy?

Overpowered villainess?

I like Julia the most out of these three. But a complete Julia steamroll would be mid. Like if she won S1, I'd be cool with that. Because she fought tooth and nail to get into the final 4.

First boot to winner is a neat idea but I don't want it wasted on a bad character like Caleb.

Wayne exists.

Wait so Ripaxel is still together? Why was she so distant towards him in their elimination episode? So Ripper legitimately quit for no reason then? And didn't Chris say last season if you quit then you owe him a million bucks? Is that never coming back up?

Say it with me everyone, "This season is ass!"

Team Caleb not giving a shit about him is so real.

Why is Julia surprised that only MK wants to be on her team?

I don't know how many of you have seen it. But there's this fanmade show called Disventure Camp. And the finale challenge for that show is almost identical to this one. Not accusing anyone of copyright.

I just thought it was interesting to point out.

Considering Chase's pizza obsession that got him eliminated in season one. Shouldn't he have been the one to go back for pizza? This season can't even remember the minor details.

I thought they were gonna do bald julia for a second lol. Mullet Julia looks cool though.

Wayne won. My honest reaction: :/

I can't be the only person who thinks it's sus that Terry McGurrin. The white straight ally who likes hockey. Wrote the final episode where the white straight ally who likes hockey wins. :/

People have been comparing his win to TDI Owen.

Owen was a goofball but at least he had a S Tier social game and interacted with loads of ppl (cody, gwen, trent, heather, duncan, izzy, noah)

And he was decent at the challenges. (dodgeball challenge, eating challenge)

Wayne sucked in every challenge and only talked to Raj and sometimes Julia.

Honestly might be the 2nd worst winner this series has ever had. Mike still holds the crown for worst winner.

If they really wanted an underdog finalist they should've went with Damien. He was an underdog and actually did shit in the game. And they built a rivalry for him and Julia. Only to throw it away immediately.

Kinda wish these were the two pairings instead of Ripaxel and Praleb.

I know they teased a S3. But if it's the same level of quality as S2, I don't want it.

[swaymarked]

im sorry i have to say this but i fucking cannot stand tessa boyman. shes so annoying. shes a fucking airhead!!! shes so dumb!!!!!!!!! like what the fuck are you talking about “why are goalie bigger than the other players 😖😖” you are dating a goalie. youve been to countless games and have not even a grasp of the sport. and shes rude about it too! she’s constantly calling magnus “weird” for his superstitions and his fucking job. plus how she shits on the sharks?? not cool girl idc how much they suck thats your boyfriends organization at the lease. also like it is in no way my spot to “protect” magnus hes a grown ass adult and if he had a problem he would fix it since hes fully capable but she rubs me the wrong fucking way.

also dont get me started on when she was like “im selling magnus’ gear guys 😝😝” then flipped out when she saw post on his stick cause she thought it was bl*od and didnt believe him when he told her it was just post. like girl bffr

+ i dont hate women. i dont hate wags. i love wags bro most of them are awesome. like lexi brown or vero fleury?? theyre so cool. i dont like tessa because shes very willfully idiotic, if that makes sense. especially in the environment of hockey, which is a male-dominated environment, shes like perpetuating stereotypes n shit. like dumb blonde, women don’t understand sports, girls only watch hockey for the hot guys etc. shes only adding to that i feel like. also some wags are just weird about “hes my baby and i must protect him from the hate bc he wont be able to take it even tho hes an adult, pro athlete, & celebrates and conditioned to be able to handle certain things to a certain extent 🥺🥺”

sorry for ranting and if you would like to change my opinion or send hate my ask box is always open 🫶🫶

ps if u want me to remove the sjs tag js lmk

[wilderhockey]

nhl teams as school clubs/student orgs

the result of a 15-minute conversation with lil @wymgreenteam this afternoon. based specifically on our experience in hs (also note that I’ve been out of hs for four years now so some of this might be misremembered but whatever it’s about the vibes).

this is not necessarily kind to all (or really any) teams but it is light-hearted and in good fun.

I put it under a readmore because 32 teams is a lot of teams

~

anaheim ducks: theater (actors specifically) - dramatic as fuck. loud as fuck. endearing in spite of it [see sharks/kings]

arizona coyotes: not a club. they’re the guys who show up to school in their tractors from october to march because the weather is fucking terrible and they’ve gotta get there somehow (thanks mn)

boston bruins: key club - self-important for no particular reason. also this is a club where you pay to do community service, which is just fundamentally wrong in the same way I feel when I see the bruins’ meth bear

buffalo sabres: swim team - wet. no I will not elaborate.

calgary flames: garden club - I didn’t even know we had a garden club until lil suggested this

carolina hurricanes: model UN - super well-run, they’ve got some nice kids involved, but I dislike them on principle

chicago I’m not writing out their team name: lacrosse - universally hated except by themselves and often take insults as compliments. also the worst punishment I can think of for a hockey team is telling them they remind me of lax bros

colorado avalanche: empowering women’s club - mostly performative but sometimes (when they can get the whole group together) they do fun things

columbus blue jackets: student section - they’re all college kids sorry it just fits

dallas stars: gender and sexuality alliance - listen. I don’t know what’s going on down there, but I can tell you it’s definitely gay

detroit red wings: cross-country - sometimes the rookies are good but everything else about them is forgettable

edmonton oilers: knowledge bowl - connor mcdavid reminds me of kb kids. leon draisaitl would be that guy who knows fuck-all answer-wise but can hit the buzzer super early and always knows what the question is asking. they just have neatly partitioned tasks for everyone and it sometimes works. yes I did kb for 7 years can you tell

florida panthers: FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) - the combination of donuts and christian rock at every meeting leveled out to a net zero

la kings: theater (tech crew specifically) - black and white outfits and idk sneaky vibes? they feel like a variety show in the same way tech does [see ducks/sharks]

minnesota wild: marching band - they’re dumb. they love each other. pranks are inevitable. some gay shit is happening. the director has very little control

montreal canadiens: magic the gathering club - just some kids hanging out. j chillin. one-sided feud with costco. vaguely hostile but in a blatantly self-defensive way

nashville predators: baseball - they were good for a while one time but now they’re just sad and middling

new jersey devils: speech - it’s fun when you’re not worried about winning, it’s a great group, but the moment you start paying attention to numbers you will cry

new york islanders: volleyball - bitchy vibes. and mat barzal’s tiny shorts

new york rangers: quiz bowl - to quote lil, they “aren’t smart enough for [knowledge bowl]” but also zero teamwork despite individual prowess

ottawa senators: robotics (FRC specifically) - they’re constantly falling apart but when it works it Works. also lots of freaks of many varieties (affectionate)

philadelphia flyers: that one political club a couple of my friends started junior year. pac or something? - it was going fine and then it changed management and now. hm.

pittsburgh penguins: student council - overachievers (affectionate). somewhat ineffective but they’re putting the effort in

san jose sharks: theater (pit specifically) - oft forgotten, but generally chill [see ducks/kings]

seattle kraken: chess club - to quote lil, “good vibes. don’t do anything, just here for fun.” I agree

st. louis blues: choir - rancid vibes. (I was a choir kid I’m allowed to say the vibes were rancid bc they were)

tampa bay lightning: honor society - overachievers (derogatory)

toronto maple leafs: lettuce club - for anyone unfamiliar, this is a club where every year, everyone interested sits at a table and simultaneously consumes an entire head of lettuce. whoever does it fastest is the Head of Lettuce for the next year. I have no fucking clue what they did at the rest of their meetings. leafs vibes

vancouver canucks: anime club - what the fuck is going on over there don’t look pretend you don’t see them and it’ll be fine (affectionate)

vegas golden knights: debate - this is for nolpats specifically I know he’s in LTIR hell but this is for him

washington capitals: that’s just the teacher’s union

winnipeg jets: football - they were never good but people go for the social aspect not the score

[austronauts]

You got it spot on with your earlier rant but I think that's what really gets me about the whole Mitch discourse, the specific nature of the insults they're using like 'soft' and 'whiney' etc and how it just feels so insidious. They definitely have an idea in their minds of how a hockey player should look and act and because Mitch isn't masculine enough for them they make assumptions about his work ethic and status inside the locker room rather than his on ice performance, which is what they claim this is really about. I don't think they would call Auston a crybaby even if he outright said he complained to the coach about something. It's kind of funny because Mitch actually is a proper jock he's just... pretty. But it changes their entire perception and reception of him as a player. Even something like smashing his stick is normally received as a display of passion and masculine anger but when he does it he's being petulant and whiney- he can't win. It's like they want to be misogynistic but there's no women in the league so they focus on the men who don't care about presenting particularly macho

i don't think they realize how pitiful and pathetic they are? or is this an extended bit at this point and they want us to peer into their sad lives and scoff :( it's funny because auston is the one who loves to wear pink and has watched gossip girl 3 times and love is blind and knows how to sew (all of which i think is BRILLIANT and celebrate thoroughly btw) and i guaranTEE you if mitch did any of those things these men would grab mitch by the scruff of his neck and fire him into the sun for being girlypop.

also the litigation of the stick breaking thing as if he violated the Geneva Convention is - i...am?? is EVERYONE OKAY? he trotted off to go do it in the hallway in private away from his teammates and coach and fans who were already having a really bad time. like - at its most simple level i see that as considerate behavior from a coworker? i know WAY WAY WAY WAY too many men who make THEIR bad moods EVERYONE ELSE'S FUCKING PROBLEM (including my own father like hello dad) without a single OUNCE of thought about the impression they give or the impact they're having on the people around them, y'know? he clearly wanted that to be a private moment for himself to get his emotions under control because he - duh - uh... CARES about winning, contrary to what these very same fans have been accusing him of for years and years now.

and you're right about the stick breaking! the laughable thing is - like we see players break sticks all the time! and it's FINE. we get it - games get emotional. you get emotional. at least they're getting emotional about their actual jobs at work. why are these ontarian NPC's getting this ANGRY in the middle of THEIR workday about a bunch of men they don't know? go scratch your balls and do YOUR job instead of screaming at willy nylander and mitch marner to play a full 60 minutes ("wah wah well I'm not getting paid $11M like marner is" they'll cry. ok then go out there and hustle and GRINDSET your way into making $11M instead of complaining online like a DIVA BABY, bro? like bro, it sounds so simple to me!!! idk! just a thought! throwing it out there!)

as a decade+ fan of geno, i roll my eyes at all this discourse i am vaguely detecting in my peripheral vision (i say this because i refuse to look at any of these angry armchair GM's takes directly. i heard some of them last night and i no longer respect them because most of them are actual idiots desperate for scapegoats and twitter clout to fill their hollow tiny homunculus lives who would shit their sweatpants at the very prospect of coaching 1 pee wee hockey game and are content to sit around having the audacity to say that sheldon keefe should trade marner, play morgan rielly on right wing, and calle jarnkrok on defense. like. that's dumb. i just don't respect you.)

like im sorry to all these whiny babies but PLEASE get back to me when your favorite player and BRILLIANT franchise SUPERSTAR gets moody and sulky and suddenly crosschecks someone in the head and gets suspended for 2 games for no reason. then we can talk.

[tutuandscoot]

Love your blog. I also am having trouble with that last promo for the Ani and Wren blog. It really looks like Tessa filmed it as a hook and never actually answered the question. I think that’s kind of gross of the interviewer and — while I hate to say it — kind of icky of Tessa. She’s spent forever carving out a new life and distancing herself from shipper nonsense and this seems like a puzzling step backwards. I’m disappointed. She’s still impressive but this felt like a misstep on the promo. The podcast was pretty good.

No don’t at all think T did it as a promo. The angle of the camera in that teaser is weird but they do that a lot on filmed podcasts there’s multiple angles and also the orientation is different if it’s a YT video vs IG. I 100% don’t think she did. I just on no level believe she would do that based on how honestly and truthfully she always talks about him. She loves him so much and is so thankful for their friendship and partnership I just.. no I don’t believe it was a set up and she would throw that out there for bating purposes. They say at the start of it that there was some ‘stuff she hadn’t shared before, so whatever she went on to say was part of that, there’s so many edits in the video as well. - if for “soommmmmee” reason it was designed not to be in the interview.. I suspect it may have been like a joke answer- like something about their disagreements on H+O or some dumb thing.. like set it up as ‘hmm well something I’ve never shared is we truly…. Both hate a certain food” or something inconsequential to that affect. Let’s just say what everyone was thinking.. no I don’t think she was gonna out that they were actually “””””in love””””” - because in the actual interview she very clearly states, FINALLY- FOR EVERYONE WHO NEEDED IT SHUVED DOWN THEIR THROATS ONE LAST TIME that IT 👏WAS👏PLATONIC👏. So those are my thoughts on that.

Also- I know I said I wanted to refrain from being judgemental- but the interviewer clearly didn’t know hardly anything about T’s career beyond the news headlines or even the lives of elite athletes in general- like she just asked some of the dumbest questions like ‘was it less pressure going into Sochi as defending champions coz they already won?’ like FUCK NO you idiot of course it’s more pressure- especially when the media is billing them as top gm chances. Like the woman’s one claim to relate to Tessa was her brother played hockey- like yeh no shit most people do a sport or activity growing up and a lot take something seriously and for siblings seeing their bros/sisters in a activities.. so yeh that’s an example but the amount of times T had to correct course on the direction of the prompts by the interviewer (esp on things concerning her and S), and I mean like do some research before you interview her.. it sounded like they had only recently met and it wasn’t like when TS had done interviews before with their trainers or that guy who did a few things with their book. So like when they say ‘there’s some new info she hadn’t shared before’ well for me not really because everything she said was stuff I already knew/assumed/my understanding of her/her and S.. so it was really just new info for the woman interviewing her coz she clearly knew very little beyond T as this public figure.. that’s my opinion anyway.

So as I said with my initial complaints- the consequences of posting that as the teaser was more irresponsible then not including what was to come it in the interview. Coz no matter what T said it was gonna make the crazies do their thing. AND coz whatever the crazies were theorising it would be, T shut it down real quick in the interview.. I just think doing that- posting THAT as teaser at all is poor form and bating and based on the questions she asked and knowledge of Tessa/S etc it’s seems on par for someone who’s only knowledge of them is surface level. T is so intelligent and inspiring everything she says is a joy to listen to and learn from and anything she said would make a good teaser to tune people in-they didn’t need to bate listeners like that and rightly so people should be pissed- but not for the info they didn’t get- for the consequences of posting it. I have not and will not ever likely listen to that podcast series for any other reason- assuming it’s not a gossip show and posting that teaser based on only the hype and conspiracies about TS is.. imo disgraceful. They should’ve had the guy behind the camera interview T coz he CLEARLY new about her and (his mum) loves her and S and knows about their skating career and legacy- the interviewer literally looked dumbfounded hearing the off camera guy be a better interviewer in 1 minute then she was in 45.

[magbld]

#5 Entry

Hey! Had a busy day. I just woke up from a nap. my body hurts a lot! HAHAHA. I hope you're doing well, eating well and sleeping well and hopefully are getting over me healthily. My day went pretty good! I went skiing my old love. It was originally planed to be m, c and me ( I don't think it's fair to use their names). But C PUSSIED OUTT! WHAT THE FUCK! Me and M couldn't believe it because really? are you serious ? HAHA. so we had told him (M and I egged him on and peer pressured him to) call in to work due to an emergency. This was because he couldn't find someone to appropriately take his shift. Normal right? Not for him. Bro felt "guilty" and 'bad' for the first time calling into work in 3 years! LOL I WAS CALLING INTO WORK THE SECOND WEEK I JOINED BBW! different mind and mindsets. But we did make him do it yesterday. and so he came the driver for me and M right? It's literally 8:30 AM and we all got up to go get breakfast first. We got A&W and I got the beyond burger (it's good, you always have had good taste) and everyone else got breakfast. But Cole. fucking Cole. Got a "Power" text from the boss saying how they'll give him disciplinary actions and oh did this shiver his spine! he's like guys..... I need to go to work... and we responded with you're getting fucked. You literally pussy'd out, you're all changed up and ready to go and yet this text of getting a disciplinary scares you? The FUCK! just come bro! take the L and enjoy this beautiful day with me and M. Oh well, he couldn't do it. So me and M went to go to ski, we were nervous because we thought they'll be no snow but they did. It's artificial snow, tastes pretty yucky like tap water from old lead pipes! don't get in it in your mouth, please. God skiing was sooooooo weird to me at first. Makoto told me to just try it and not snowboard (I wanted to try snowboarding) and I just toughed it out. All these little kids zooming past me, honestly, I was cared I'd hit them! But we started easy, on the beginner slope where I fell, and fell some more. I fell a lot. LIKE ALOT! I didn't think I had a single run where I didn't fall and slide down. Falling doesn't hurt (at first) because it's pretty much you slip and slide down. It feels kind of cool honestly, like a little action movie. but he first taught me how to stop. There's two types: Pizza and hockey. Pizza is where you kick the back out and little and carve into the snow and you'll get into a lot more drag that makes you stop whilst the hockey one (I still can't do properly ) is like going to your side and grinding it to an immediate stop. It's pretty cool! Then he showed me to turn and turn, which I did. And then he said fuck it, let's go on the big slides. And I ATE SHIT ALOT LOLOLOL! I miss you. I went on the green slopes (targeted as easier) but they were still very inclined of course. I was going so fast which caused me to panic and to fall a lot, of ocrouse of which he then showed me how to carve my way down which makes me not go as fast. It's funny! he's a bad teacher! but I learned, although with a lot of falling. We skied for a while and also the messed up! they gave us practically double the amount of tickets to use and it's so funny. So now I have 20 in total in which I'll give you 10. Me and Makoto kept making these silly jokes about some memes we saw on the internet (Saiyan walk) and hitting the gritty and super dumb shit like that. I don't think you would've laughed if I did those things in front of you. You weren't much of a person who liked my dumbness in public. Oh well. And it was really fun. I felt more confident and I started to get better at carving and turning and stopping. the wind shifted and we got a whiff of like puke and shit? what the fuck? HAHA.But then we stopped as we had been there for at least 5 hours or so and were getting hungry and I was getting exhausted physically from all that falling. (I had fallen every single run I did and we did a lot of runs). Makoto was like "Bro whopper is the best burger" in which me and Cole in the morning made fun of him for it.

He was eating monkey balls and feet burgers for joy HAHA. But we went to go get it anyways after skiing. It was good. I enjoyed it and I was pretty hungry! I wish we could've gone skiing together or at least with friends. It would've been nice. But then I got home, took a nice shower and relaxed a bit. I'm learning the tabs to "Run on sentence" by Flawed mangoes, it's quite hard. But then I conked out and mimimimimimii. I've just woken up and my body hurts a lot HAHA. You'll enjoy skiing I hope! ski safe and everything. I miss you! it's been 4 days since you've been gone and yet it feels so long. I wonder what you've been up to. Okay ! I'll see you, good bye.

[princesstillyenna]

kreidbanejad + 8, 10, and 23 for the ship asks?

I wrote this and tumblr deleted it because tumblr hates me. SO I shall rewrite it, and hope I am consistent... Also when I shared this my intent was for people to suggest GC couples, but uh KRIEDBANAJAD I CANNOT RESIST THEM <3

8 - What do the like best about their partner? IRL, what Mika likes best about Chris is how Chris always hypes him up, ok... like Mika zibanejad has the biggest case of imposter syndrome anyone has ever seen, he has SUCH low self esteem and he constantly thinks he shouldnt be a pro hockey player, let alone playing on the top line in an incredible NHL franchise, and Chris constantly likes to point out how WRONG HE IS and also get him out of his own head. This is Mika's favourite thing about Chris, and I probably wouldn't disagree with that for my headcannons. What Chris likes best about Mika? That gorgeous ass?? Nah, although he'd probably say that as a kneejerk response. He loves how Mika balances him out, emotionally Mika is a lot more stable (if self deprecating all the time) whereas chris is a bit more of a rollercoaster guy, and Mika always seems to know the right time to either ride the rollercoaster with him, or to stabilise him. Chris also finds it SUPER HOT how intelligent Mika is. Despite being a college grad who speaks another language, Chris describes himself as "Big jet, no pilot" and thinks of himself as very dumb, he sees genuine polyglot Mika as the most intelligent guy ever and that is very sexy to him. 10 - Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public? Because they are hockey players, have an obligatory superstition quote here:

“I’m familiar with the term,” Luc interrupts, “there just isn’t any. Jacks and I are bros, not some weird 50’s couple named Hank and Barb.”

“Okay,” Greg says calmly, “so who remembers to pay the power bill every month?”

“Megan,” Luc says flatly.  “Our accountant.”

“And who takes out the trash?”

“Annette- From City Best Housekeeping Service. Or her brother-in-law, Marc.”

“And who takes the cars to have the oil changed?”

Luc sighs. “Everyone in the house, except for me, owns the sort of car that the dealership comes and gets. They all have spaceship commuters that send some fucking bat-signal to the dealership when it’s close to needing an oil change and some asshole in a suit just shows up with a loner whip and a bottle of champagne. Seriously, bro, it’s just not like that, okay. We’re bros.”

But to actually answer the question: Chris always drives. Neither of them cook, they live in NY, and have a meal service. They are both TERRIBLE at DIY. They have a cleaner. Mika pays the bills and is generally more organized than Chris, but it's a close call because they're both pretty disorganized. Media/Public, always Chris. Because he knows however much he hates it, Mika hates it more.

23 - How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort? They flirt almost silently these days... a quick glance across a locker room, the 'I know what you're thinking as I take off my shirt' look. A subtle wink, or the raise of an eyebrow. Same for teasing, Mika will frequently just raise the hem of his underarmour shirt to give Chris a flash of his abs, or tip his head back as he's upending a water bottle over himself, shaking his hair out, because he knows it drives Chris wild. Chris will flirt/tease by crushing Mika into the boards AFFECTIONATELY during practice. Mika loves it. We know how they hug. THERE IS SO MUCH EVIDENCE OF HOW THEY HUG. The most kriedbanajady their hugs feel is when Mika will tuck his face into Chris' neck. That's elite as far as I'm concerned. They don't hug at the rink after losses, they do hug when they get home after losses. Chris will close the door behind them and then tug Mika into his arms and they stand there, just inside the door for a few minutes and just holding each other. Sometimes, after a loss, or after a win, as they're walking down the corridor to the locker room, always after the other boys, one of them will let the back of their hand brush against the others. It means two different things. After a loss it means "I love you, you're awesome, we're awesome together, I've got you." after a win it means, "That was so hot, can't wait to get you home and get you naked." Regarding kisses? Chris loves kissing Mika, loves kissing any inch of skin he can get his mouth on, especially when it makes Mika squirm (because Mika does not believe himself worth these kisses most of the time). Chris likes to stare at him and ask dumb questions like "Do you think I've ever kissed your eyelid?" and if Mika says no, he says "I'll fix that" and does it, or if it's a yes, he says "Best do it again". His favourite place to kiss is the very corner of Mika's mouth and the very corner of his eyes where they crinkle when he grins.

[killdfame]

useless headcanons of the day

colton thinks dragons are so fucking cool. if he could have any mythological creature, it would be a dragon, and like a medium sized one that he can carry on his shoulders. like. dog sized.

he hates his name. he thinks its so dumb but i gave it to him for that reason i think his name is stupid and further drives home the point that he’s some guy

he hates plaid unless it’s flannel.

LOVES watching baseball. little guy will show up in his stupid jersey and hat and sunnies ready to watch some mf BALL also loves hockey and nascar ???

loves rollerskating and is actually really good at it

he grew up rock climbing and has been trying to get back into it. bro just needs like a gym buddy or something atp.

he used to hate topgun because his middle name is maverick, but it actually grew on him and he’s definitely been goose ironically for halloween once or twice.

[sparkles-and-trash]

The Gaang are Roommates AU ~

note: this is a rewrite and repost of my old roommates au, there was some stuff I wanted to change, and I wanted to make the parts a little longer, so yeah, ta-dah! 

- think modern setting in the canon universe, bending is still a thing 

- the Gaang are all in going to Ba Sing Se University 

- I’m gonna change the ages a bit to make it easier for myself, sorry 

- Zuko, Sokka, Suki and Mai are 20, Katara, Ty Lee and Azula are 19, Aang, Toph and Yue are 18

- so, Zuko, Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph end up living together in a big loft type apartment 

- Sokka and Aang are old best friends, they met Toph in Middle School, and Katara is a natural part of the group 

- until now Sokka and Katara have both been living in the dorms, and they both hate it intensely 

- but now that Aang and Toph are also in uni, they all decide to move in together!

- …but the only problem is that the only place they find that they like is just out of their price rage (Toph’s parents aren’t supportive of her major so they’re not helping out much)

- enter: ~ Zuko ~

- so, Zuko has been living with his uncle Iroh since his Father, who’s a high up in some big and important company the Fire Nation, disowned him for speaking up against the company’s shifty treatment of workers and ruining a lot of sacred land etc 

- they’re still firebenders and the scar still happened, not in an Agni Kai, but it happened 

- but after Zuko started uni, Iroh really tried to push him to meet some people his own age and make some friends

- the only people Zuko talks to on the regular besides Iroh is Azula, Ty Lee and Mai, and Mai is the only one who is like, his friend yanno?

- the last year the deal was that if Zuko didn’t branch out, Iroh would have him live one year with other students

- it’s his idea of tough love 

- Zuko tried to do some random kid’s homework to have them pretend to be his new friend in front of Iroh so he wouldn’t have to, but Iroh can tell he’s lying so easily 

- so, Zuko ends up hearing about the Gaang through Mai, who heard from Ty Lee, who plays field hockey, Suki, who’s best friends with Sokka

- so, he goes to meet them, and it’s so awkward mY GOD

- Katara is a B I G environmental activist and HATES Ozai and his company, with good reason

- she eases up a tad when Zuko admits to being turned away from as a teen, but she is still suspicious

- Aang loves him right away, ofc, and that makes Katara even more suspicious because she’s pretty protective of Aang

- she claims it’s because he’s so kind and believes everyone but she totally liikeees hiiiim

- Toph is just like, sure, as long as he pays his rent idgaf

- Sokka is weirdly quiet, because he’s had a huge crush on Zuko forever, and the only one who knows is Aang (and Toph but she ain’t no snitch)

- so, ya boy makes the cut, and before they know it, it’s move-in day!

- but, the idiots didn’t think through the facts that it’s only three bedrooms oops

- and Toph is NOT afraid to pull the “I’m blind and I need my space” card

- and nobody’s up to fight her on it, so 

- let’s just say there is A LOT of back and forth, but with Katara refusing to room with her brother again, and Zuko being rightfully scared of Katara, it ends up with Zuko and Sokka sharing a bedroom, and Katara and Aang

- they have separate beds ofc

- but still, tension, man, so much tension

- it takes a while, but the dynamics starts working out really well

- Zuko is good at grocery shopping and likes to clean, and Aang is always happy to help him out

- Sokka loves cooking, so he does that a lot

- Katara is always on top of the others with schoolwork and making sure everyone is okay, and she usually does it in genius, sneaky ways so people doesn’t even notice that she does it

- Toph is clearing the air off bullshit

- like, she will call a bitch out

- but because she cares about said bitch

- so, Aang knows that Sokka has a crush on Zuko because Sokka told him in a weak moment, and Toph knows because she just knows

- Aang is a good friend tho, and he tries to like, ease them together

- but he is so awkward about it, the poor thing, and Zuko doesn’t understand AT ALL

- Toph is just sitting back and sighing a lot

- Katara doesn’t understand either but she just stays out of it (smart girl)

- but okay, we know how oblivious Zuko can be right?

- Sokka can give him googly eyes and blush and stutter around him so much and he still has no clue at all

- Zuko starts thinking Sokka just doesn’t like him at all

- but then one night Zuko has this really intense nightmare

- okay and quick addition, his scar is… handshaped? Like, you can clearly tell what happened to him

- but nobody talks about it, yet

- but then he’s having a terrible nightmare and is talking and begging and pleading in his sleep

- so much that Sokka wakes up

- and he catches on pretty fast, but had no idea what to do

- so he just shuffles over to Zuko’s side of the room and starts tapping his shoulder rapidly

- but nothing happens

- so he just… gently and awkwardly pats his head until Zuko wakes up

- and Zuko is like… wat u doin there bro

- and Sokka is like… just patting ur head to wake you from a nightmare bro

- and they awkwardly just mumble and go back to their beds

- but Zuko is smiling a lot because someone who’s not his family or a family friend really cares about him

- after that, Zuko slowly starts opening up to all of them, but Sokka especially 

- he never really tells them about being cast out and burned tho

- until one day he kinda casually slings it into a convo all fast and awkwardly

- it’s just Toph, Aang and Sokka there

- Toph yells so WHAATTT so loudly and just metalbends the whole fridge into a clump in rage

- Aang cries lmao but he tries to hide to and be supportive and not awkward

- Sokka is kinda quiet, but he carefully asks about it that night when they’re in their beds, and they talk a little about it

- Aang tells Katara (with permission) and she awkwardly, but wholeheartedly tells him that he can always talk to her

- they do that «awkward sibling hug» from Gravity Falls after

- *hugs stiffly* «pat, pat»

- but okay, Toph and metalbending when angry, it happens quite a lot 

- this was the first time it was the fridge, but the toaster, the microwave, and several other appliances have met the same fate

- everyone is kinda used to it now, and she always replaces it

- except Zuko, who’s still kinda new to them all

- but what are you supposed to say when your new friends is so outraged by the abuse you went through that they crush a whole ass fridge?

- it actually reminds him that he’s cared for here, by these people who owe him nothing, and is not related to him, and it makes him a little dizzy to have people care this way

- he casually mentions it to his Uncle Iroh the time he’s in at work, that his new friend is a metalbender and squashed their whole fridge when she was pissed on his behalf

- Iroh is thrilled

- to the point of offering Toph a job lmao

- Toph, desperate to cut of as much ties with her family and be as self-sufficient as possible, agrees

- and now Iroh have two formerly rich kids with no clue about any sort of customer service and basic stuff like that working for him

- Toph is a hard worker tho, and she and Zuko work surprisingly well together

- Katara is a little relived, because the more those two work, the less are the chances of either of them trying to cook or do too many chores around their apartment

- they mean well, or, Zuko does, but he does so much dumb shit when trying to help lmao

- Sokka starts spending a lot of time over at The Jasmine Drago too

- Aang is still trying to keep the fact that Sokka likes Zuko a secret, but he is having trouble

- Katara is his biggest weakness, and now they’re suddenly alone with her a lot

- someone else who could always read Sokka really well is Suki

. whom he used date in high school, but they parted as friends and everything s cool

- but Sokka is a little taken aback when she comes into The Jasmine Dragon one day, hand in hand with Sokka’s childhood crush obsession, Yue

- for the first time in man’s memory, Sokka is a little speechless

- and Suki’s like “lmao dude I haven’t seen you like this since the first time you saw Zu-”

- cue Zuko popping out behind them like “WELCOME TO THE JASMINE DRAGON FRIENDS OF SOKKA :D”

- Sokka is so fucking red, poor boy is just about having an aneurism at this point

- but luckily something happens and Zuko gets distracted

- Suki is having the time of her life tho, Sokka always used to tease her for her crushes before and after they dated, and suddenly, here they are

- at the apartment, Aang decides they need some apartment traditions

- they’ve been living there for almost three months, after all

- so he decides that weekly movie nights are mandatory

- so are pillowforts

- Katara is actually really excited for it, she loves all things cozy and fall-like

- also… she is weak for Aang, y’all, and she loves seeing him all excited

- Zuko barely knows what a pillowfort is, he didn’t think real people actually made it

- but imagine these dorks in a pillowfort with hot chocolate and lot’s of pillows

- Toph claims that she thinks it’s soo dumb, but she will always make sit in the middle of the group all wrapped in her blanket and laughing when the others jump and get spooked from the horror movies Sokka always wants to watch

- and she will make sure the fort is right and perfect lmao

- Zuko is a little awkward about it at first, but he likes it too

- Sokka always manages to plop in next to Zuko lmao

- they haven’t talked about the head patting incident yet, but Zuko is def starting to feel the butterflies

- one time after a movie night Sokka falls asleep on Zuko’s shoulder, after the others have left for the night

- Zuko can’t resist waking him up with awkward head pats similar to the one Sokka used on him

- Sokka thinks he died and went to heaven lmao

- but then he fully wakes and sees Zuko’s shit eating grin and can’t help but laugh at the whole thing

- and Zuko has his “oh no he’s hot beautiful and I really adore him” moment

[valentinesparda]

i will be the one to prompt you on your payday 2 hyperfixtation. 3 2 1 go

hi okay oh my god it's been a good like. 4 years i think since i was deep in the hyperfixation but for context on why i think payday 2 is the most ambitious crossover in history:

jimmy from hardcore henry which i cant elaborate on unless you've watched the movie and why this hits so fucking well but that little bastard gets me. i love u uncle jimmy

the boogeyman the baba yaga my babygirl john wick no i will not elaborate

jacket hotlinemiami another babygirl of mine but he's canonically older and needs a doctor to look at him but that's what war does to you i guess

fucking bodhi from point break which brings into question them meeting john wick. i guess this adds fuel to the keanu reeves multiverse

just like in general the characters in the game are all from different parts of the world and come together in this dumb melting pot of criminals heisting banks and cooking drugs mid-match

SCARFACE IS HERE????

more important lore that some may or may not be canon;

houston is all but canonically confirmed to be autistic and we (meaning i) love that for him

chains lives in john wicks house as seen in the trailer because they're bros 👊😤

bonnie is a lesbian and i will not hear anyone out on this. clover too idc

she/they sydney. he/him butch bonnie

dallas is hot. hoxton is kind of sexy in a slimey way. wolf please call me. chains is assigned babygirl

we have yakuza. we have bikers (ron perlman). hackers. hockey players. russians

much much more

i have an emotional attachment to payday2 simply because i had a former friend group who played all the fucking time and we all made this elaborate offshoot story with our own ocs and i got super attached to them so now i get to rethink about my half-baked self insert batty and their relationships with the other crew members which in hindsight is very funny because my hotline miami insert is ALSO called batty WAIT I THINK I CAN FIND THE ART OF THEM ONE SECOND

YES HERE THEY ARE

i would infodump more but i am also at work so i cant. gather my thoughts entirely but I'm definitely going to revamp them. thank you anonymous person on the internet i owe you my life

[so-writing]

Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea - Matthew Tkachuk (7)

all parts in the master list

Minimal editing. Also hit me with some predictions for the end of this and also any thoughts at all about it. Is it trash, is it good? I am curious about what you think!

--

Matthew didn’t usually drink much during their time away from home. If the Flames won, he’d usually have a beer or two to celebrate and that was it. This past week had him consuming more alcohol than he had in a long time and he had no idea why.

The roommate situation put him on edge the moment he found out who he was going to be staying with and his mood soured even more when he discovered they’d have to share a bed so maybe that was why he was taking shots and downing beers like he was on summer vacation. 

He remembered bits and pieces of the previous night: she kissed him and then disappeared, he continued to take shots long after she’d gone, they had a conversation about moms in their hotel room. 

That was it though. He had no recollection of changing into his pajamas and crawling into bed. When his alarm went off, he woke up in bed alone and as he surveyed the room, he realized all her stuff was gone. 

Sure, they were going home today but damn, she must have really wanted to get the fuck away from him. He wasn’t ready to acknowledge that it might have hurt his feelings a little bit so he pushed the thought away and began to get ready for the day.

*

The feeling of peace you got when you quietly closed the door behind you and wheeled your luggage away from the room you shared with Matthew Tkachuk was incredible. 

The past week had been a roller coaster that you were dying to get off of and all you had to do was get through this last game and the bus ride home. That would be easy though, you’d have no interaction with Matthew during the game and you knew damn well he would rather cling to the top of the escape hatch on the bus rather than sit next to you. 

It was finally over. Your mouth was practically watering at the thought of sitting down in your apartment, by yourself, with a bottle of wine, Netflix and Chinese takeout. 

You watched as the Flames won the game and as much as you didn’t want to notice it, you did. Matthew was playing like shit, barely dragging himself around the ice as he tried to keep up with his teammates. His personal play was entirely unremarkable and you were sure he was going to hear all about it as soon he got to the locker room. 

“How happy are you to be free of Tkachuk?” 

“So fucking happy, you’ve got no idea!” 

You laughed along with another of the assistants as the two of you helped organize the remaining luggage for the driver to load beneath the bus. 

“He played like shit today, might be bummed you two aren’t going to keep sleeping together.”

“Oh, don’t even. ‘Sleeping together’ implies something entirely different that what we were forced to do.”

“I know, I know,” he shook his head and laughed easily, “but honestly, did you think about it? I know you two aren’t exactly besties but come on, look at the man.” 

Did you think about it?

Of course you did. You thought about it multiple times. Matthew had stripped down in front of you, once completely and another time almost there. There was no denying that you’d gone to bed at least once thinking about what it would be like to spend the night enjoying yourself underneath him instead of sleeping next to his grumpy ass. 

You were taking that shit to the fucking grave, though.

“He’s a complete prick, and I don’t know if you heard, but I slept on the floor a few days ago, so no. I wouldn’t fuck that man with your dick.” 

That response sent him into a fit of laughter, “I mean I get that it was a rough week for you but I’ll be honest, I respectfully disagree. That pest could fucking get it anytime he wanted.” 

“Gross,” you playfully rolled your eyes as the two of you finished your task, “spend a few hours with him not in a strictly hockey setting and I promise you’ll change your mind.”

“Doubtful!” 

When all the luggage was loaded, the two of you made your way onto the bus. None of the players were there yet so you both took advantage of the back two rows that only contained two seats each. The entirety of the team didn’t completely fill the bus so you, stupidly, assumed you would sit alone on the trip home. 

Shoving your AirPods into your ears, you opened Spotify and settled into both the uncomfortable bus seat and the several hours long trip home. 

Not even ten minutes later, a body dropping into the seat next to you pulled your concentration out of your music and when you looked to see who it was that sat next to you, you couldn’t yourself from rolling your eyes. 

Matthew Tkachuk gave you a tight smile before rummaging around through his book bag and producing a paperback book. 

No he wasn’t. There was no way he was reading that. Dumb hockey bros weren’t into high fantasy. There was no fucking way he was reading ‘A Game of Thrones.’

He was though, and you watched him like a hawk as he parted the book where his mark was placed, almost halfway through, before you felt like you had to say something.

“You’re legitimately reading that book,” you pulled out an AirPod and gave him an inquiring look, “really?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I loved the show, figured I’d give the books a try.”

“They’re really good, much better than the show in my opinion.” 

Matthew’s smile stretched across his face, “that’s what I’m thinking! I know I’m barely into it but the books are so much more detailed.”

It was a cute moment, the two of you sharing an interest, but you were determined to remain all business with him.

“Why’d you sit here?” 

“I don’t know,” he ran a hand through his curls, “why not?”

A quick silence formed between the two of you before he tried again, “what are you listening to?” 

“Uh, Bring Me The Horizon, you probably won’t like it.” 

“Try me.” 

Matthew handed you his phone and you opened up his Spotify account and typed in the song you were listening to. 

“So the band is Bring Me The Horizon, right? What’s the song called?” 

“Sugar honey ice & tea.” 

“Okay.” 

++

You settled into a comfortable flow with Matthew. One of your pods was in his ear as he read AGOT and listened to the whatever you were playing. He didn’t mind when you fell asleep on his shoulder, leaning his head against yours as he continued reading his book. 

“Hey,” he was gentle, “wake up. We’re home.”

“What?” 

“We’re back in Calgary.”

“Oh, okay.” 

“Are you good?” 

“Yeah, I just, yeah. Can you ask someone if they wouldn’t mind taking me home? My car’s here but I’m so fucking tired.”

“I can take you home.”

“Matthew, no, you cant. You need to rest. I’m fine, I’ll be fine. I’ll get an Uber or something.” 

“No.”

He was firm in his response. Your eyes were heavy with sleep and you were in no condition to do anything on your own. 

“Whatever, I don’t want to fight with you, dickface.”

Matthew chuckled to himself as he guided you into the parking garage toward his car. You let him open the passenger door and help you into the Audi. 

“What’s your address?” 

You mumbled it quickly, earning a smile and a “we live in the same building” declaration from him. 

Far too sleepy to notice anything around you, you nodded in and out of sleep as Matthew drove from the area to your building. His quick glances in your direction were lost on you and it was only when he was trying to get you out of the car that you really woke up. 

“Fuck, Matt, I’m so sorry. I’m just so exhausted.” 

“I get it,” he helped you get your bags out of his trunk, “you didn’t have a great week and I had a lot to do with that.” 

The two of you headed up to your second floor apartment in silence, you trudging up the stairs with little effort while Matthew followed you, making sure you didn’t fall. 

“This is me. Where are you?” 

“Oh, uh,” his cheeks lit up red as his eyes traveled toward the ceiling.

“Of course, superstar Matty Tkachuk lives in the penthouse on the top floor,” you teased, “if only we could all be so lucky.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your apartment,” he slid around you let himself in as soon as you opened the door and surveyed his surroundings, “I really like it.” 

*

He didn’t expect her place to be so cute, but it was and he smiled wide when her black cat rubbed against his legs.

“He’s called Onyx.”

“I like him,” Matthew leaned down to scratch his ears, “who takes care of him when you’re gone?” 

“My neighbor. She’s a sweet lady.”

“I’m glad."

“I’m sure this is peasant shit compared to your place, but we do what we can.” 

He stopped petting Onyx and looked up to meet her eyes. 

“I would never think that about anyone. Jesus Christ, do you really think I’m that much of a fucking asshole?”

She didn’t say anything, but her face turned beet red and she turned away from him before turning back again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so used to you being awful that any small morsel of kindness is unfamiliar. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine. You should sleep though.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

He paused for a moment before breaking out in a big grin, “can I take Onyx up with me?”

“Absolutely not! Onyx is a heathen like the rest of us on the lower floors!”

“He deserves 360 degree views of Calgary.” 

You paused, turning to look directly at Matthew.

“Do you have that?”

“Yeah.” 

“I am so fucking jealous.” 

“You can come up and see too, as long as you bring Onyx.”

“As much as I don’t like you, I’m absolutely going to take you up on that, Matthew.”

He hated ‘Matthew’ and she knew it. He had tried to correct her a few times but she wasn’t budging. He wasn’t going to argue now, though, because she was adorable standing in her own apartment with her cute cat rubbing against her legs and—No. No, no, no. Matthew did not like this girl because this girl was fucking terrible and she hated him.

Except, he did like her and she was the opposite of terrible and she had an adorable cat. 

What the fuck was he doing?

[alextturcotte]

there are just a bunch of rants besties. yall better buckle up for this one💀

these aren’t directed at anyone in particular, this is just what i’ve noticed after being on tumblr for a while💀 also these are my opinions so you dont have to agree with anything, this is just me ranting lol

rant #1

i actually can not believe that there are STILL people on this app supporting trevor zegras. Are y’all high or something?! Because the last time i checked he SA’d a girl and liked trump’s tweets. I do not care if “the girl actually lied about it” you ALWAYS believe the victim and honestly i have not ONCE seen the evidence that he did not. I see so many anons and people defending him saying that it was proven false and all a lie, like um ok where is the proof? Show me rn. As soon as a blog asks where the proof is, all of a sudden that anon disappears and doesn’t get back to them. Something isn’t adding up there. The whole liking the trump tweets situation i can kinda understand why TZ did it (and a bunch of other athletes as well), the dude is an athlete and wanted the country to “reopen” so that he could obviously play the sport he’s passionate about but even with saying that, it doesn’t justify that it’s literally trump. I am 100% NOT defending him or any other athletes actions. 

rant #2 

why do some people actually have the audacity to get mad when a hockey player gets into a relationship... please explain that to me because i don’t understand that logic whatsoever. Like I get that you have a crush on them but babes you can’t act like they were even yours, to begin with. You can’t go living life thinking your favourite hockey player is going to stay single forever, it doesn’t work that way. I’ll never understand why people get so butthurt and throw a fit because of it. Also, the fact that some people have to bring their fav players’ S/O down to get some sort of validation and make themselves feel good is the most fucked up shit EVER. I saw a post on here that said something along the lines of “it’s always girls supporting girls until they start dating ur favourite hockey player. They all of a sudden have all these faults and flaws” and that is SO TRUE. Everyone can be like “omg this person is so pretty” and shit like that till they start dating someone. All of a sudden they’re a bad person, they’re a slut, they’re not pretty anymore, not in that person’s league, etc. Just you what?! STFU!! Stop being a fucking jealous bitch and get on with your life. I don’t get why people do this. I honestly have more things to say about this but that’s for another time. 

rant #3 this one might be a little controversial but i'm willing to risk it all

The fact that we’re sexualizing hockey players that have a family makes me feel icky. Like bro, they have a literal CHILD and you’re writing fics about their parent and sexually talking about them.... They also are fucking MARRIED TO SOMEONE. I know that wags don’t really care about that stuff but it still feels almost wrong to me. I get that people find them hot and stuff but idk it just feels weird and off. And i know that no matter what people are going to do this anyway but for me it just makes me feel super weird and uncomfortable. So personally i try and avoid when people talk about sexualizing them. I’m definitely 100% NOT shaming anyone who does, just to make that crystal clear and i’m definitely NOT judging anyone who does. This is more for me and what I'm comfortable with. No hard feelings to anyone!! 

rant #4 

I absolutely hate when blogs on here act like they’re all shit and know everything and just all around act like they don’t need to listen to anyone. Like, calm the fuck down becky, get off your high horse and stop acting like that. You don’t need to make other blogs feel bad just because they didn’t know something that apparently “everyone knows”. It’s just fucking exhausting and annoying to see. You don’t need to make other people feel dumb so that you feel smart. Like hate to break it to you but you’re just making yourself look fucking entitled and a complete bitch. Another thing is that they always have to be “different”. They can’t put the *keep reading* for fics, they can’t put fucking trigger warnings on posts, they can’t be respectful when lbing a game. They don’t bother reading a whole post and reading the tags because i’ve seen a few times where someone shows their face and says VERY VERY clear that they do not want it reblogged but some people actually just go ahead and do it anyways like why can’t you just be respectful to others and stop acting like you’re all that. When someone calls them out on something they always say that “oh i didn’t realize” or “oh i’m sorry I’ll remember that for next time” like bro very disrespectfully shut the fuck up. I’m so so sick of blogs acting so entitled and so fucking selfish. And to kinda tie into the TZ situation and just bad players in general, it’s the fact that y’all know they’re bad people and yet you choose to support them and shit but as soon as what they did is brought up again you jump on the bandwagon and pretend to care but as soon as it all dies down you got straight back to supporting them. That’s the one thing i will genuinely never understand.