#some kind of closure

[erynalasse]

I think the reason that Russingon works so well as a pairing is that their personal tragedy is a perfect microcosm of the wider tragedy of the Silmarillion.

There’s their respective positions, for one. Fingon and Maedhros are the heirs of Fingolfin and Fëanor, and as such they inherit the family feud from beginning to end. It’s very easy to make this the beginning of their story in Valinor—two young princes forced together, and then growing closer together.

And from there, Fingon and Maedhros are right at the heart of the conflict between the Noldor. It’s easy to imagine a breach—“the lies of Morgoth came between them”—in the time around Fëanor’s exile to Formenos. And as all the shippers love to point out, there is also a lovely symmetry between Fingon rushing in to Alqualondë to defend his kin and Maedhros asking to send the ships back for Fingon at Losgar. The canonical breach between them makes these exchanges more poignant. Neither has many reasons or motives to think of the other, just like the factions of Fingolfin and Fëanor. But they do anyway.

Then, of course, there is Thangorodrim.

Like the exchanges at Losgar and Alqualondë, this is a scene of unparalleled grace on Fingon’s part. Canon specifies that Fingon does not know Maedhros stood aside at Losgar, but he went looking for him anyway. And Maedhros, in thanks, gives up the mantle of Noldóran to Fingon’s family. Their actions are the way the breach between their respective factions healed. When Maedhros and Fingon start a new chapter, so does their people’s history.

And then the new, hopeful chapter comes to a close with the Bragollach. Personally, I don’t think this battle and the 17 years between it and the Nirnaeth get enough attention. If the Nirnaeth is utter disaster, then the Bragollach is the uncertain balancing point before that. It was a terrible blow to the Noldor, and it upset the comfortable balance of the Long Peace. The period after the Bragollach is similarly a time of immense change for both Maedhros and Fingon. Fingolfin dies, leaving Fingon as High King. Maedhros puts together the Union and plans for a frontal assault against Angband. In the background, the Silmaril Quest and Finrod’s death shake up everything the Siege of Angband made them assume. There is hope and urgency and action.

And then the Nirnaeth comes, and utter despair with it. There is an inescapable symmetry in the fact that the Noldor’s most crushing defeat was also the one where Maedhros lost Fingon. It’s also inescapable that precisely when Fingon dies is when Maedhros loses all honor and moral fiber. There are two more Kinslayings, kidnapped children, and slaughtered guards. Even in a non-romantic reading of canon, it’s impossible to argue that Fingon’s loss and all its implications didn’t contribute to this. There is no one to reign in Maedhros and his Oath, either personally or politically.

And then the Oath is fulfilled, and Maedhros kills himself as soon as he is free. I think that speaks for itself neatly enough.

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 75: onehat

[mamawasatesttube]

i think martha kent should get to threaten rex leech with a shotgun tbh

[genericaces]

remembered my doomed weslah(?) post-nfa au that i can only describe as "wesley is an unofficial third to a semi-retired frunn who are now hippies in portland and also lilah is there"

wes grows a depression beard and gets really into building birdhouses. sometimes lilah, still liaison for w&h, shows up and together they're the most sexually tense couple at the farmer's market. (lilah makes him shave the beard)

obviously lilah decides that she needs to insert herself into this non-throuple in order to make wesley jealous and admit that he cares about... something. other than birdhouses.

anyways every visit inevitably ends with lilah being called back to work by the senior partners. she only gets to snag brief moments of freedom before she goes back to work, and every time wes has to say goodbye to her all over again he gets all morose and guilty about it.

and i think it's ultimately about hanging onto guilt and loss past the point where it's helpful for you because it's your last connection to someone, even though it's keeping you from living your life in the present, because on some level the idea of being happy feels like a betrayal. and trying to figure out what moving on even looks like

[erineas]

Hey/

Did you see 6 skeletons 1 maid updated?

Thoughts?

I was saving this ask to make a little comic of how that last chapter felt but- lets say it didn't turn out how i wanted. Instead, i just dug out some of my old Maid-chan drawings and stared at them blankly for the next days.

I'm still particularly fixed on this one little page:

Mister Green was my absolute favorite and the only light i saw at the end of her tunnel. He was so kind and sweet, and pretty much the only one that treated her like a person (besides Yellow of course). When i first read this fic so many years ago i didn't trully realized the dark tone of this story but i still chose the only "healthy" option. I wanted MC to be happy and free, and oh how i wanted him to give her that. I held those drawings of him for years imagining a chapter where they would encounter again and that would drive her to a better ending (either skeletons overcoming their issues and treating her with respect or him taking her away).

But then this final chapter appeared and it was... a thing.

(Kinda spoilers for the babes that haven't read it)

First of all, I FINALLY GOT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER BEACH CHAPTERS OMG I NEEDED THAT

Second of all, it didn't look good at all and it was getting worse as I read. But then good because it was a week alone for her to rest and Sans was eating with her?? But also that whole scene reminded me how bad her situation really was so it actually wasn't good at all.

And then the scene that broke me.

I was aware that I wanted her to flee before, but I never thought she could.

It was oddly satisfying, if not a bit anxiety inducing because of the thought that they would caught her eventually. As always.

But then Asgore, and Orange. And nothing...

I got mad that he found her. Which was a weird feeling since I remember liking him a lot. It felt to me like he ruined her good enough ending. But despite that, it makes sense it was him so I don't complain.

What crushed me though, wasn't that she couldn't say goodbye or that Sans got tired of trying to get her back. It was the fact the Gs didn't even try looking for her. They didn't even got mentioned. What happened there, I wonder. Didn't they like her? Care for her? Mister Green wrote her letters, of course he liked her. But then why...?

Suddenly he looked like a fairytale.

The ending was great, finally lending her the ability to choose. It made absolutely everything worth it and the way it was written made me feel like I do have a say in the matter. And for the first time, i didn't choose the skeletons.

I realized she could find her happy ending alone.

(My live reaction)

[razberrypuck]

fucked up that dropping gillion off for his training was done as unceremoniously as it was btw. it wasn't some grand goodbye, they didn't do anything special that day for their little boy -- it was just gillion and his father. his sister, his mother, his grandfather, they weren't there. it was just gillion, his father, and a quiet, possibly several day long trip to the capital. it was just gillion and his father at the steps of the palace, just his father that saw the big smile on his face, heard the little boy's promises of telling them everything when he got home. no one had even bothered explaining what was going on to him. he had to figure it out on his own, when papa never came back.

[send-me-a-puffalope]

GUYS THE CANDY CADET STORY???///

It’s gotta be about Vanessa right? Like she’s the only adult female character in the games. She escaped from Glitchtrap just barely through Princess Quest 1-3 but was left with a scar (Vanny? her trauma?). After escaping with Gregory, she builds up the courage to come back to the Pizzeria with Gregory (the young boy guiding her) to take down Glitchtrap forever. They go to the “small house” aka the FNAF 6 Pizzeria and kill the witch aka Glitchtrap. And the oven metaphor referencing how Springtrap/Scraptrap was burned with fire?

though it does say “when she was little” so maybe there’s more to Vanessa’s past than we know? Was the past she told to the therapists in SB true?

[khaire-traveler]

I've got to say, it's pretty terrifying apologizing to someone you've done wrong to, specifically something you know was very wrong. For a few years now, I've been filled with a lot of regret for something I said to someone. I was a drastically different person back then, to the point that I don't think anyone who knows me now would recognize that it was me. I've been through so much since then and learned a lot of lessons. Going through therapy was the biggest help in recognizing past mistakes made from a place of hurt. I'm not sure if that person will ever respond, but it's ok if they don't; they don't owe me anything. I just hope that they're well and my message can provide the closure they never got from me.

If you apologize to someone solely for the purpose of expecting their forgiveness, then you're not apologizing for the right reasons.

[sagesparrow394]

… Do you think Cellbit and Baghera know?

Do you think, after the explosion, they found Jaiden’s body on Egg Island? They know she chose to stay, chose to die?

Do you think, when they finally returned to the island after the reset, reunited with everyone, they saw the faces of these people who knew and loved Jaiden? Her best friend, excited with grand ideas of building a new town. Their fearless team leader, seeming tired, just wanting to settle with his children in a quiet house, without stress. Her old co-parent, acting a bit strange, but now busy caring for a new child, seeming relatively okay. The child with her name on its birth certificate, excited and nervous to one day meet their final mother.

Do you think they know and made the conscious decision not to tell anyone? To save the news that she would never come home for another day? Maybe to wait until they return back to the main island, and the unfinished house by the ocean and the silent home at Bobby Hills makes it impossible to repress any longer?

[carriesthewind]

.

[bjursta]

no piece of media will make me feel the same way oneshot does

[batsplat]

do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?

one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:

y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:

version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???

version in my book, first paragraph is the same

But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.

this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?

let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"

what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?

(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)

"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey

come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??

okay fine moving on

Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete

(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)

(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)

the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon

I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though

I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?

yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth

this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!

on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?

speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there

switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*

did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?

there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)

I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions

the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019

from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories

and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:

again, this was in 2018!!

plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):

now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!

but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???

again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??

kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!

idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip

(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)

(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)

man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it

(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)

moving on

there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party

of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense

speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but

y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected

okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!

while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah

that's all for now lol

[rocksama24]

How can you do this to me.

The thought of meeting your previous bully after all these years and having them not remember how they used to bully you is jarring.

I'll never forget you, even if I'm dying.

[amuhav]

     “You’re not... Not gonna...”      “What? Go? Just leave?” Asher chuckled weakly. “Please tell me that’s not what you thought?”      “N-no? I don’t know...” Loch drew his arms in tighter as a light spring breeze made him shiver. “It’s... I’m never going to be enough.”      Asher scowled. “Says who? I never... I’ve never said that, Loch, ever.”      “If I can’t give you what you want... it’s just a fact.”      “What? No, Loch, I... fucking hell. No.”       As Asher ran his hands through his hair, Loch watched in confusion as multiple expressions flickered over his face until he sighed and took Loch’s hands with a reassuring squeeze.      “I don’t know how you don’t get this already, but... If a chance at something I would like, meant giving up something I can’t lose... I don’t know which universe you think I don’t choose you. Every damn time. I love you far too much for that not to be true.”      Some dam inside him broke, though Loch didn’t feel the tears coming before it was too late and Asher was already pulling him into a tight embrace.      “Hey, I’m sorry if I ever let you think otherwise—”      “You’re so stupid,” Loch spluttered, unable to stop himself. Whatever adrenaline had kept him from breaking down, had also apparently been the thing tethering him to something resembling sobriety, and he felt any filter he possessed slipping away.      Asher locked up around him, his arms going stiff. “...Uh...?”      “I’m just me. A... A fucking mess. You say that like I’m not... Like... There’s just no other explanation. You’re just stupid.”      Asher laughed, no small amount of tension falling away from him as he did. “Yeah. Yeah, guess I am. But so are you.” He laughed harder. “And so very, very drunk. Your brother really is going to regret that free bar, isn’t he?”      “Serves him right,” Loch muttered with little malice, scrubbing his face as he allowed Asher to lead him back inside. “...One more drink?”      “Absolutely fucking not.”

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[vamp-a-day]

day 31

Just 8 drinks Maybe I’ve lost count? I can’t remember the night, what I drank, or the amount. I’m fading in and out my very consciousness is crumbling.