Tumgik
#someone pls explain i am genuinely interested
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still not getting any romance vibes whatsoever from bo and din, where are you all seeing this stuff? *miffed*
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cyberm4n · 7 months
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could you pls do lucifers' oldest daughter x adam, and lucifer disapproves of it and adam rubs it in his face and the reader is innocent and has no idea whats going in between them and is absolutely in love with adam, and smut and possibly daddy kink if possible??♡♡
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combined these two cause they work together really well! im so glad i got adam requests cause i am in LOVE with his man rn
cw: daddy kink, smut, readers first time, reader doesn't know of the history between lucifer and adam and i don't explain how, mentions of past tense bad father lucifer, adam is a little shit, not proofread
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adam with lucifers oldest daughter reader!
■ OKAY FOR STARTERS
■ if Adam is genuinely interested in a relationship with you, like it's not just to get at lucifer then he's the biggest softy
■ im a firm believer he is a sweetheart in private moments in a relationship
■ to everyone else he's a total jackass but when you two are alone?
■ he's so respectful and loving to you
■ but if you're innocent
■ this man has the biggest corruption kink in the fucking world and the fact he gets to have his way with the daughter of his "enemy" satisfies him more
■ but it does make him feel a bit warm when it becomes obvious just how in love you are with him
■ and anytime you tell your dad about your boyfriend he lights up! so happy his daughter has found someone :)
■ but shit goes down when he asks to finally meet him, he figures if his daughter is in love he should definitely know him
quick recess from that train of thought
■ adam! who's got you laid out on his bed, working his shirt off
■ adam! who hears your little murmur about being a virgin
■ adam! who is immediately rock fucking hard at the fact he gets to take that innocence from you
■ adam! who hovers over you, kissing your neck as he helps you out of your pants, his other hand tugging impatiently at your shirt
■ adam! who can't get over how fucking beautiful you are, all other motives thrown out the window, he just wants to make this good for you
■ adam! who growls when he works a finger into you, feeling how tight you are and hearing you whimper
■ "princess you gotta relax, gonna stretch you out. i know baby, i know. just let me make you feel good"
■ adam! who scissors his fingers in you, desperately trying to make this easier for you
■ adam! whose cock makes you tremble when you see it finally, he's big. i think he'd be above average, 7-8.5ish inches, girthy too.
■ "baby don't worry ill make it fit, daddy's gonna take care of you, okay?"
■ adam! who audibly groans after you don't even bat an eye at his slip up
■ ugh he'd be so sweet as he's guiding it in you, kissing your face, maybe even rubbing your clit to try and get you to relax
■ but just as he's about to bottom out hears a little "s'too much daddy" from you and he swears he could have cum right there
■ if this wasn't your first time he'd be pounding the shit out of you now
■ but he's gentle, at least at first
■ "okay sweetheart, i need more, can you do that?" he'd murmur, so sweet.
■ and then he fucking rails you
■ HEAVY BELIEVER he's gonna try and go atleast 2 rounds with you, maybe more
■ you're just too perfect he can't help it
ANYWAYS
■ so like, you're really oblvious to the beef between your dad and adam
■ like it's just never been expressed
■ plus lucifer doesn't have a great relationship with his kids!! so the fact you've even told him about your boyfriend makes him happy
■ so you go out for dinner! it's a classic! you have no idea why you're boyfriend is acting so weird!
■ what does NOT make lucifer happy is seeing you walk in with adam, his arm slung around your waist
■ he's in denial for a moment, standing from his spot as he meets you halfway
■ "dad, meet my boyfriend, adam!"
■ there's a beat of silence, and you're not sure why
■ but lucifer extends a hand "adam, it's so nice to meet you" he says through gritted teeth
■ tbh both are pretty quiet, only exchanging niceties until you leave for the bathroom
■ adam squeezes your hand as you stand up, watching you walk off.
■ then he turns back to face lucifer, a smug smirk plastered on his face
■ "you motherfucker" "well actually technically im a d—" "shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up"
■ lucifer genuinely has to convince himself not to fucking kill adam right here. reminding himself that his daughter is in love with him.
■ lucifer decides he doesn't have to like adam for him to support you
■ but adam is such a little shit, once you get back to the table he will not shut the fuck up
■ but you seem so happy, lucifer sees the way you look at adam. he sighs.
■ even when adam tugs at your collar a little "fixing it" supposedly but lucifer knows it's definitely just to flash that little love bite he left there
■ and to you it seems like your boyfriend and dad are getting along great! you're so happy
■ at the end of the night your dad pulls you aside, doing the whole dad talk thing.
■ "if he breaks your heart.."
■ but you hug him for the first time in a long time, and he decides he can tolerate this for as long as im happy.
■ your dad loves you, maybe not your boyfriend, but you.
■ and adam.. deep down knows there's a little bit more to his facade. he cares about you, how could he not? this started out as just a way to get under lucifers skin but he's found himself genuinely hoping your dad doesn't try to sour the relationship
■ so when you take his hand as you part ways with your dad he sighs in relief
■ you're all his, and he wouldn't want it any other way <3
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taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas
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martinsluvr · 7 months
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coffee and basketball
pairing: kate martin x fem reader! 2022-2023 season!
warnings: fluff! friends to lovers trope!? small mention of drinking! mentions of anxiety/fear of love!
authors note: pls be gentle this is my first fic
dec 5th 2022 ~ post iowa win against iowa state (dec 4th). score 70-57. kate martin with 13 points.
reader’s pov
the energy in iowa city was booming after last night’s win. i’ve been working at this coffee shop in iowa city since my freshman year of college and i’ve become accustomed to talking “game talk” my entire shift the day after a game, and if any of the players decide to stop in to do homework or for a quick drink, i sympathize as i watch them get trapped into nonstop conversations about basketball. iowa city is extremely proud of and cherishes our women’s basketball team, and quite frankly you never hear the end of it when you’re living here.
our coffee shop gets quite busy everyday, and my shift passes by with ease. as i’m finishing making the last order i took before clocking out, i see two familiar blondes walk in.
“hiiii!!! great game you guys!! your usuals today?”
“hey y/n thank you, yes please! how are you? when are you actually going to come to a game in person!” monika exclaimed. after working here for so long, we’ve developed a genuine friendship, sometimes catching up for a drink or just enjoying each other’s company in our apartments.
“i know, i know.. i promise i will before the season ends!” i laughed as i made their drinks. “kate, you did really good last night, i really wish i could’ve been there”.
i could see kate blushing out of the corner of my eye as I finished making their drinks, and monika nudging her. “y/n i am going to drag you to the next home game myself, kate always looks around and hopes you’re the-“ monika was interrupted by kate obnoxiously faking a cough attack. i laughed, blushing and handed them their drinks. as i handed kate her drink, our fingertips slightly touched and we made eye contact.
“in the meantime maybe we can go to open gym tonight? i can rebound for you and give you time to reenact some of your moves from the game for me” i said as i smiled up at kate with my eyebrows raised. although i was NOT short, yet kate disagrees, she was still 8 inches taller than me as I stood at 5’4. “we can meet at my apartment at 6 if you’re up for it”.
kate knew what i was doing. i knew what i was doing.
kate’s pov
my palms were immediately sweating. i looked down at her and honestly just forgot every single thing she’s said since i walked in because i cannot stop looking at her eyes and how well they compliment her dark hair, she just dyed it - i can tell. My eyes scan over her exposed tattoos on her arm and i quickly look back into her eyes so i don’t look like more of a creep than i already do.
“6pm is good. i’ll be there. at 6”, i tried playing it cool. she laughed, shaking her head and saying her quick goodbyes as she had to rush to her 2 o’clock class.
“you know you said 6 twice. i think she knew what time considering SHE asked YOU” monika explained while almost tumbling over laughing. “i mean kate, you should’ve seen your face. you two have been doing this for a year now. why have you not made a move on her? she’s clearly interested in you”
i sighed, “monika I don’t know. i really do like her but it’s just scary. i don’t know if i can commit to something, especially right now. basketball is our life and how will someone ever be able to fall in love with me if i can only see them for a few hours a week?” monika rubbed my shoulder and brought me in for a hug.
“just because you are a D1 athlete does not mean this is your entire life. you still deserve to have a life outside of basketball, and if anyone, she would be the most understanding” monika said, “you’ve got to make a move before she gives up. i know she’s into you kate. you deserve to feel and be loved”.
she really always was right.
we spent the rest of the day doing homework together and making lunch. as it got closer to 6, i could feel the knots in my stomach getting worse. luckily, we lived in the same apartment complex so it was a quick walk to her apartment.
5:55pm and i’m already at her door. is that too early? too desperate?
i knock a few times to let her know i’m here. i could just say i came early so i could see her cats
i looked down twiddling my thumbs, patiently waiting.
“coming!” i heard faintly from her apartment. she opened the door and quickly embraced me.
“kate hi! i just have to feed my cats before we leave so just come in for a minute” she said while frantically trying to feed her cats before they tried jumping into the food. i stepped into her apartment and patiently waited, laughing as her cats were jumping up her legs and meowing.
“you know, i’ve always been a dog person but i love your cats. they are just so adorable and have such a personality” i remarked.
“hah yeah, you can take them whenever. they are the best for cuddling but feeding them is still terrifying” she laughed.
she collected her bag, which i offered to hold, her water bottle and keys. we locked up her apartment and walked down to her car.
“midnights?” we asked in unison, both laughing after realizing we jinxed each other. i adore that she loves taylor swift almost as much as i do. i plugged in my phone to her aux and shuffled the album. as we started driving to our practice gym, i couldn’t help but steal glances at her, imagining what it would be like if we were more than friends, if i wasn’t so scared, i thought. i wouldn’t be afraid to hold her hand or her thigh while one of us drives. i wouldn’t be afraid to kiss her at every red light. i wouldn’t be afraid of love with her.
we pulled into the parking lot and i quickly grabbed both of our bags, and we made our way inside. no one had the practice gym booked for tonight, so it was just us. i put in my code to enter the gym, and we settled our stuff down.
“so.. what are we doing today coach kate” she smiled widely at me. i grinned and grabbed the rack of basketballs, pulling it next to the free throw line.
“well, let’s work on some free throw shots first”.
reader’s pov
after an hour of rebounding for kate and even taking some shots for myself, i decided to line myself up at the free throw line. i was never one to play sports, but i’ve always loved watching them. i’ve always been so jealous of people’s hand-eye coordination, as it never seemed to work for me which led to me burying myself in studies and clubs for years.
i try to fix my form like kate taught me, then launched it.
miss.
again, i grabbed another ball and launched it.
miss.
and again, and again. miss. miss. miss.
kate stifled a laugh watching me, and as i turned to glare at her she put her arms up in surrender.
“here, let me help you. we’ve already gone over this y/n, are you missing on purpose?” she questioned. i shook my head, my breath getting faster the closer she got to me. i faced the basket with the ball in my hands hoping to hide my blush.
“here, move over a little” kate said as she put her hands on my waist, moving me to the right a little. “now put your right hand here, and your left hand here” she said as she guided my hands from behind. all i could focus on was her breath on my neck and how close our bodies were without touching. “now shoot”
straight net.
“see! you can do it! but, can you guard me?” she questioned as she quickly knocked the new ball out of my hands, dribbling away from me.
“kate, of course i can guard you” i laughed chasing after her. we played 1 on 1 for a few minutes, her scoring on me multiple times and me not even able to keep the ball in my hands for more than a minute. as i jumped up to block her shot, i tumbled over her as we both fell to the ground. her arms were quick to grab my waist to ensure i fell on her instead of the hard wood court.
“kate!” i exclaimed laughing, “you could’ve hurt yourself and lisa would have actually hunted me down and killed me!”
we were both laughing as i rolled off of her and laid next to her on the ground. she turned over to look at me with a wide smile. we grabbed each other’s hands as we helped each other up, yet i stumbled into her again.
“a little clumsy tonight aren’t we?” she teased. her hands hesitant to continue holding my waist as we stood centimeters apart.
“i guess you just make me a little nervous” i confidently stated. our eyes stayed locked in for a minute, and for a split second i swore i saw her look at my lips, until she quickly pulled away almost breaking out in a sprint to our bags.
“we should get going, the janitors will be here soon to start locking up” she hurriedly said.
with a heavy sigh, i walked towards the exit grabbing my keys and water bottle as we made our way to the exit.
-
the car ride to the apartment complex was silent. i felt uneasy. is it me? is she just not into me? i thought. as i pulled in to my spot, kate offered to walk me back up to my apartment. the walk was long,
and silent. as i got to my door, i pulled out my key as fast as i could to unlock the door. “thank you for walking me kate, goodnight” i said as i tried rushing into my apartment. before i could shut my door, she put her hand out to hold it open”
“wait y/n,” she hesitated, “there’s been something i’ve been meaning to do for a while now”. kate strides towards me, reaching out to put one hand on my hip and one hand on my check, quickly pulling me up towards her and before i knew it, she kissed me.
she really kissed me.
her lips were soft. i could feel our smiles through the kiss and my heart nearly beating out of my chest, i wonder if she felt it too. kate pulled away first, looking down at me smiling, moving both hands to my cheeks.
“goodnight y/n” she said as she kissed my forehead. she backed away towards the door, and left before i could say a word.
i sheepishly slid my back down the cold wooden front door and made my way down to the floor. between the heat on my cheeks, tingling sensation on my lips, and the sound of my heartbeat thumping through my chest, nothing else in the world mattered in that moment. i delicately brought my finger to my lips, trying to relive the feeling through the sensations. my cheeks were hot and hurting. 'have I ever smiled this big in my life?', I thought. my legs slightly shaking as i slowly got up, making my way through my apartment to my bedroom. everything was bright even with all of my lights off. i sat down at my vanity, staring at myself in the mirror. through the slight shine of the exposed moonlight, i could see the red and pink flush all over my face. my phone buzzed in my sweater pocket. 
i had a great time, the text read, see you tmrw for my usual? :)
i held the phone to my chest tightly, feeling the coldness of the screen through my clothes, but nothing else was cold. everything was warm because she kissed me.
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bellysoupset · 2 months
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I need some Luke and Vince😭I loveeee the romance but I am obsessed with Vince and Luke's bromance😂🙈
Soooo I wrote this and it was supposed to take place while Leo is still in Europe with Jonah & Angie. Ignore the fact I'm posting out of order pls pls, this comes before the migraine fic with Bell that I just posted.
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Lucas loved his new job. 
It had been the product of many therapy sessions and, simultaneously, a spur of the moment decision after Bella pushed him once more to get out of the house. 
He liked helping people, he liked that within a week or so working he easily could recognize people and they were warming up to him — the actual people needing the charity’s services and his coworkers —, he liked using his pushy personality for a good thing and not feeling one bit guilty about it. 
His superior was a woman in her late seventies, named Sylvie. Sylvie smoked too much and she had wrinkly fingers, washed out fingerprints by years of working with her hands, and a big white afro that contrasted against her small face. She wore golden rimmed glasses that covered half of her face and purplish lipstick. 
Sylvie was attached to Welton’s Non Governmental CoAlliance since the sixties, had basically grown alongside with it, and no one would or could ever accuse her of being uncaring, even if she was rather practical and cynical. 
Lucas had been expecting someone softer and sweeter to be running a non profit and he was surprised during their first meeting when she had been rather curt with him. 
She triggered the part of his brain that really wanted to be liked, to impress her. So when she popped her head in the office and pointed at him, saying “Atwood, get your stuff, you’re coming to this lunch with me”, he hadn't even questioned it.
It was just a Friday and he was supposed to go down to Doverport to meet with Vince for the weekend, so Lucas nervously chewed the inside of his cheek as they drove in separate cars to a fancy restaurant uptown to meet with the mayor and other local representatives. 
“You’ve been press trained before,” Sylvie said once they parked in front of the place. She patted his cheek, on her very tippy toes. The woman reached about his chest and yet Luke felt so small around her, “but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate. If they want you to explain anything about the shelter, about the actual work we’re doing you will…?”
“Redirect them to you for any official statements, ma’am.” 
Her face got even more wrinkly with a smile, “forget the mayor is even there, Joshua hates when people suck up to him and he’ll be all the more interested if you pay attention to anyone but him,” she instructed him, then took Luke’s arm with a fond shake of her head as he offered, “aren’t you charming?”
He had forgotten how much he liked talking with new people. Genuinely enjoyed meeting them and listening to their small talk, asking about their jobs and mentally cataloging them. How the mayor’s eyes sparkled as he heard Sylvie introduce Luke as “Lucas Atwood-Howard”, instead of just his first name.
It was still an adjustment, to have so many people know who he was before he could properly introduce himself, but it also felt… Right. As if he had been hiding something for the past seven years since he had dropped his final surname and slowly even his first one. Becoming “just Luke” was great, but it couldn’t go on for forever and felt a little like shedding his childish manners to finally embrace the full weight of his name and all the opportunities it could open for him and others. 
As it was, “lunch” stretched well into the evening. He had to sneak to the bathroom to text Vince to let him know he’d be late and let Bell know he wouldn’t actually go home before heading to Doveport, as initially planned. 
They didn’t actually talk about politics or any real measures, something that didn’t surprise Luke. Networking was a slow dance and while they were all definitely aware this was their job, part of the job was pretending it was all a friendly get together. 
He fit the part to a T, indulging all the questions that were thrown his way — About his major, the fact he had been part of the local football team, what were his opinions on the university infrastructure, how he was liking the new job… He even forced a laugh at “ you’re so young to be married, kid, who fooled into this?” 
“You did great, Atwood,” Sylvia said once they were left all alone. She was yawning in her hand, despite it not being 6 PM yet, and Luke allowed himself to relax, leaning back on his chair. He felt packed full, although he had eaten just a little bit more than usual. Back when he used to bulk he could stomach way more, but it had been over a year since he stopped doing that. 
The heavy feeling from the restaurant only grew on the drive to Doveport. He had ordered a sprite for the ride and the first couple of burps, airy and long, had been a relief. His belly was pressing against his jeans and in the privacy of his car he undid his fly and squeezed his stomach, forcing up another belch. 
However the burps soon stopped helping. Around his sixth one, the belch turned wet halfway through and brought up with it a little bit of sprite. Luke hurried to swallow it down and groaned as the tight sensation on his stomach turned into queasiness. 
He shook the can of sprite, wearily considering if he should finish the last gulp or not. Deciding it couldn’t hurt, Lucas chugged the remaining bit and then immediately swallowed a bit of air to force up a burp… And it got stuck right in his chest. 
Luke whined, moving the hand that had been cradling his bloated belly up to his chest and thumping on it, trying to force out the burp, but no such luck. All it did was slosh his stomach contents and another goosebump of nausea run down his spine. 
His mouth felt sweet and sticky and he wished he had picked sparkling water instead. He planted both hands back on the steering wheel and breathed deeply, trying to calm down his belly. No longer it was just heavy, but now he could feel its contents rolling and churning, producing some angry snares and growls. 
His shirt glued to his back and Luke grimaced, turning off the A/C and fully lowering both front windows, hoping the breeze would help. 
It didn’t, only made him shiver. He rolled the windows back up. One hour for Doveport. For a brief second he considered turning the car back around, he wanted his own bed and Bella’s comforting hands. However that would mean three more hours of driving and just the thought of that made Luke groan out loud. 
By the time Luke finally parked in front of Vince's house, his queasiness had grown into full blown nausea and his head was swimming. He was pretty sure he had parked all wonky, but that didn't matter, as he threw the driver's door opened and retched loudly.
"Hello to you too?" Vince teased him lightly, walking out of his tiny house. The orange light of the living room spilt on the steps that separated it from the street and almost touched the dark grass on which Luke was trying to bring up his lunch.
"Stand-" Luke interrupted himself with a thick burp. It turned frothy at the end and he could just taste the nauseating pesto sauce, causing him to gag and spit a mouthful of saliva on the grass, "stand back..."
"Are you sick?" Vince seemed absolutely unbothered and Luke shook his head, pressing a hand to his belly and trying to work up anything. He hated the sensation of something heavy sitting on the base of his throat, it caused another gagging fit, but nothing came up.
"Lunch isn't sitting right," Lucas groaned, his voice hoarse, as another burp brought up another small splash of acid, but nothing else.
"Okay," Vince walked closer and planted a hand on his back, rubbing between his shoulder blades, "come inside, you don't wanna sit here hurling on the grass."
"I don't wanna be sick, period," Lucas scoffed, leaning to his side so his forehead could meet Vince's tummy since the other man was standing next to him. He sank against the soft surface with a sigh, causing his best friend to chuckle.
"Okay," Vin petted his hair gently, "c'mon, help me here..."
Gently, Vince pulled him standing and Luke immediately let out a groan, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Standing made everything churn and he stopped moving, shuddering as nausea caused his mouth to water.
"Fuuck..." He groaned, bracing against his knees and spitting on the grass, swaying on the spot.
"Are you sure it's just indigestion, man?" Vince moved closer slightly, his big hand coming to support Luke's forehead and inconspicuously looking for a fever.
Lucas nodded, unable to speak, and then forced a burp. The belch fizzled out in his throat and he groaned, pressing on his belly and causing his stomach to thrown in the towel. With a choking noise, a horrible gush of bright green vomit fell on Vince's yard.
His best friend let out a yelp and jumped back slightly, but didn't let go of Luke, which was a good thing, because the next minute his knees gave up on him and he fell down, choking up yet another stream.
Lucas' throat was aching and his head swimming, his belly still felt full of something hot and bubbly, but his gag reflex diminished and then vanished as he finishing spitting up the remaining taste.
"Well... That sucked," he groaned, collapsing back against Vince's legs. The other man grabbed him by the armpits, forcing Luke back on his feet with one swift motion.
"Linda Blair wishes she could be as impressive as you," Vin teased him slightly, patting Luke's arm, "done?"
"Not sure..." Lucas wiped his mouth on back of his hand with a grimace, "my stomach still feels so gross... Hi."
"Hi," Vince rolled his eyes in an amused way, squeezing Luke's nape and guiding him inside the house, "sit on the couch, I'll get you some water."
"Urgh-" he muffled a little burp, "get a bucket too..." Luke called after him, falling sit on Vince's small couch and planting his feet on the coffee table. His pants were already undone, but they still felt constricting and Luke wrinkled his nose in disgust as he pulled his shirt up to his chest and noticed how bloated his belly was.
"Here," Vince came back, handing him a small yellow bucket from the laundry room and a plastic mug filled with cold water. His eyes paused on Luke's stomach and he raised his eyebrows, "that looks upset."
"Feels like it too," he nodded, gulping down the water and fully removing his shirt. He felt so warm. Lucas pressed his fingers to his bloated stomach and then let out a burp, making a face when it tasted just like his lunch, "sorry- Sorry for messing up our plans."
"Eh," Vince shrugged, sitting on the couch as well and turning on the TV, "you can watch the game while hurling too, it's fine."
Luke chuckled lightly at that, moving slightly so he could press his face to Vince's bicep and letting out a sigh when the half folded position only seemed to make his belly pulsate.
"C'mere," Vince grabbed him by the arm and Lucas didn't need to be told twice, fully collapsing against his best friend's lap. The couch was too small for him, his legs were sticking out, but Luke had no intentions of moving.
He planted the bucket in front of him, on the ground and between Vince's flip flops, then groaned as he felt Vin's hand on his belly, "dude, be gentle, it feels so fucking gross."
"Would medicine help?" Vince flipped through the channels, barely rubbing Luke's stomach but just keeping a hand there, most of his attention focused on the TV. Lucas wondered how much of that was him actually not minding and how much it was Vin just not wanting to embarrass him.
"Maybe later," Lucas moved slightly, curling up his legs. Vince's hand was heavy and warm and it helped a little bit. He was sure Vin could feel all the bubbles and churns under his palm, but the other man said nothing, "how was work?"
"Nice," Vince shrugged, chuckling at the small talk, "we just came back from the field trip and the teens aren't fully up to speed with routine again."
"Aw man, I miss having field trips," Lucas pouted, then grimaced as his belly gurgled fiercely. A warm, thick burp crawled up his throat and he pitched forward, thinking it'd turn into a retch. When it didn't, he fell back against Vince's lap.
"Speak for yourself, if I never go on a field trip again, it'll be too soon," Vince teased him, "I told you Daniels caught the plague, right?"
"You might have mentioned one or a thousand times," Luke's voice was bitter and he felt, more than heard, Vince chuckle. His best friend grabbed his arm, shaking him lightly.
"You're jealous?" Vince made no effort whatsoever to hide his amusement, glee coloring his words, "so that's why you're so green?"
"Shut up," Lucas scoffed, shoving Vince's tummy and curling up, "I'm not jealous, I just don't see what's so special about that guy that you won't shut up about him."
"Leave him alone, Luke," Vince continued to chuckle, "I think the man is just lonely, I just- I don't know, I feel for him."
"Saint Vince to the rescue," Lucas mumbled, feeling something horrible burn in his belly. Not just indigestion, but plain, unmitigated jealousy. Vin was his best friend and he lived four hours away and wouldn't shut up about this guy and yeah... Luke was feeling more than a little threatened by Daniels.
"I'm gonna invite him to join us next time we're down the cabin," it wasn't a question, it was Vince letting him know and Lucas scowled, rolling on the couch so he was out of his friend's lap and sitting up.
He muffled a sick burp against his hand and squeezed his eyes, a wave of thick nausea washing over him, how much of it due to the food poisoning or insecurity, he wasn't sure.
"Luke?"
His stomach churned and Luke darted out a hand, but didn't move. Vince didn't need any more incentive, he planted the bucket on Lucas' lap and the man promptly folded over it, drooling.
"Sorry..." he grumbled, tongue curling in revulsion and head swimming, "sorry, I don't- I don't feel so good..."
"Yeah, I know," Vince's voice was gentle, his hand squeezing Luke's nap in an affectionate manner, "get it up, buddy."
Lucas let out a deafening retch, but only a mouthful of sick came up. He squeezed the bucket until his knuckles turned white, struggling to breathe, and Vince thumped his back, managing to dislodge a wave of acidic sick from the bottom of his belly.
"Fuck..." Luke whined, resting his forehead on his forearm and panting, "that sucked."
Vince snorted next to him, causing Lucas to open his eyes and glare at him. His best friend only shrugged, not bothered by the pout in the least, "you feel better?"
Luke scoffed, gulping down air and letting out a gross belch, "nope."
"Gross," Vince wrinkled his nose in distaste at Luke burping right on his face, "are you done, though?"
"Maybe," Lucas' belly let out an angry growl and he winced, "are you gonna keep talking about Daniels?"
"Ma que porcamiseria, Lucas!" Vince cried out in italian, but he was laughing, "you cannot be serious!"
Despite how shitty he was feeling, Luke grinned, "I'm dead serious."
Vince rolled his eyes, snatching the bucket to clean it, clearly deciding if Lucas could joke around, he couldn't be feeling that bad, "you're insufferable, that's what you are."
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freeuselandonorris · 25 days
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as a pretty much complete stranger to kinks I ask this with genuine and open curiosity: what is it with piss? like what's that kink all about? admittedly I've been wondering about it and I consider you my local expert on the matter (plus your writing has compelled me to enjoy things I never thought I'd dare to touch so I trust your judgement). is it like a marking/possessiveness thing? or a "that's Me" sort of idea? or something else entirely? I'd like to hear what appeals to you about it if you don't mind indulging me
omg anon if i don’t MIND! this is my dream ask lmao especially on a night where i need a good distraction ty 🙏
below the cut for anyone who followed me for the fanart and light romcom fic and not the hard kink 😭
okay SO. i think piss is one of those weird kinks where there’s a lot of different sub-kinks to it and a lot of motivations for it — like, there’s being pissed on/pissing on someone, there’s drinking it (incl forced drinking) which can also have sub-kinks like some people only like to drink “from the source” whereas others like it from glasses or funnels or bottles or don’t care at all. then you have wetting (pissing yourself, basically), which could be just doing it wherever, in certain clothes, in semi-public. there’s omorashi/desperation, some people really get off on the pain of being desperate and holding for hours. plus there’s stuff like diaper play which is very linked to the ‘little’ space and isn’t something i fuck w personally so i can’t comment on that. but basically what i’m saying is there’s no one motivation for people to be into it and different types of piss play will have different appeals, even to the same person.
personally i am generally pro most kinds piss but my real kink is wetting, specifically while fully-dressed and preferably in pale clothes so the wet patch shows up. that’s something i developed an interest in super early — i can remember being a kid and taking the opportunity to piss through my swimsuit after going to the pool lmao. i think the appeal there is the inherent wrongness of it; it’s very linked to shame, humiliation, degradation and also there’s a lot in there about doing things that are forbidden and go against social conditioning. it’s an insanely trippy feeling to do it in front of someone in particular, personally it’s honestly comparable to drugs in how much of an endorphin kick it gives me.
i do also love pissing on/being pissed on though! and that’s def more what you were mentioning about a sense of possessiveness, although for me it’s more linked again to humiliation, particularly when i’m bottoming for it. i’m a huge fan of bodily fluid play in general and there’s a lot in there about feeling marked, about being a receptacle for someone’s waste fluids, about being objectified — one of the hottest piss scenes i’ve ever experienced was a cnc scene where i had a pillowcase taped over my head and then that got pissed on without warning (we had this kind of play pre negotiated!) and there was something about the combination of being made ‘faceless’ and then that happening to me out of the blue 😵‍💫 there’s a kind of devotional aspect to it, like yes i WILL get on my knees and willingly cover myself in your piss because i adore every aspect of you!
andddd finally there’s just the sensory aspect of it! piss is hot and wet and that can feel really good on your skin when you’re turned on 🤷 and honestly if the person you’re drinking from is well hydrated it doesn’t taste or smell too bad, it’s just kinda salty and a bit umami… it kinda reminds me of miso soup at times lmao. if they’re not hydrated or they’ve had a lot of coffee/beer it can be a bit intense and honestly i have gagged and spat it out sometimes! but that’s kinda hot to me too 🤷
whew that was fun lmao. sometimes i feel like i should start a specific blog for this stuff bc i LOVE talking about it! ask me more kink stuff pls!! anyway anon i hope this kinda explained the appeal to you a bit, ty for the respectful and open minded q 🫡
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johnslittlespoon · 3 months
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also little (ok not so little. at all) personal thing as a way of mass–apologizing in advance to friends/moots for being slow with replies/not super interactive for a bit (possibly? always hard to predict) but pls god feel free to ignore this <3
i hate talking ab not–fun personal stuff on here (if it's not hidden deep in tags LOL), but i feel so so guilty for being so slow at replying to messages here/on discord and i would never want any friends to feel ignored or like i'm not enthusiastic to chat bc i genuinely have the most fun yapping together in the wota server and it's been such a joy making more friends here and getting closer with some ppl 🥺 it's just eating me up even tho ik i don't have to apologize/explain myself and i'd never hold it against someone else if the roles were flipped!! it's just to put my mind at ease so i can feel less guilt/pressure :')) and i am Uncomfortable talking about bleh emotions so it's easier to just plop it here and not have to explain myself one on one lmaoo tbf i may delete this in a few hrs bc just typing this up might give my brain some relief anyway and then i won't feel like this is necessary!
but sam lore the quick of it is i have # bipolar and i've been in an originally manic, then hypomanic episode essentially since around the time i started this account? it's the longest 'up' episode i've had but it's also the first one i've been off bp meds for so that might be why (long story dw i see my dr monthly <3 sorting life out rn) and i think starting stimulants back in may prolonged it a bit bc yk. meth LMAO but it finally petered off a few weeks ago and now i am entering the Big D (and not the fun kind) so some days i just do not have any energy for anything other than survival mode and when i'm suddenly super chatty or active, 99% of the time it's bc i just took my adhd meds and downed an iced coffee lmaoo genuinely so grateful i have those meds to keep me from fully sinking deep into a bad episode for now at least. so tldr; not trying to be antisocial or ignore anyone, just tryina truck thru :-)
i'm so thankful for all the cool ass friends i've met thru mota and i have been rly scared since i felt myself swinging to the other side of the bp spectrum last month bc i've been very up since i joined tumblr and i don't want a sudden change in vibes to be taken personally or for it to seem like i've lost interest in fandom!! i also get scared i'll just be dull and boring to friends now who have only known me while i'm manic which is understandable bc it's a big switch up but i think over text it shouldn't be as jarring bc yk i have time to think ab my words more and all. i am a little surprised actually that if anything, my motivation for writing has only intensified in the past month, but i think it's the first time i've had a healthy form of escapism in an episode and my brain has definitely latched onto it to get me thru that and a lot of shit stuff that's been happening irl this summer, so i'm unbelievably thankful that this fandom dragged me back into fic writing as hard as it did <3
but as sometimes happens with depression as i'm sure most of us have experienced, motivation/energy loss can hit even our biggest passions and i'm Terrified and hoping so very hard that it doesn't, but if fic updates do abruptly slow down as i ride this episode out, that's likely the reason. can't see myself losing interest in mota anytime soon but ik that if someone's usual writing pace suddenly slows down, ppl often jump to that conclusion (myself included lol) and i just want to make it clear i will Not be abandoning my fics and as of now, i'm still plowing ahead on all of them. AND THAT'S ALL FR BACK TO MY GOOGLE DOCS fuck do i think this is a journal?? jesus christ my bad
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evanpeterswifeyyy · 3 months
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Absolutely random rant session about my fucked up sleep stuff
Does anyone else have constant nightmares or disturbing dreams?
Like, my only dreams I’ve ever had have always been either terrifying or deeply disturbing. And for the first few years I was definitely terrified in my dreams, but now it’s just a common occurrence and feels like a “yeah this is fine and normal” moment in my dreams. The only times I get the feeling it’s a nightmare is when it gets super weird and disturbing and then I have to force myself awake.
Does it even count as a nightmare if I’m not scared??
Idk how to explain this phenomenon but like I have so many strange dreams that reoccur in the same sort of way I can make categories for it
+ dreams where I’m being chased or running from something/ someone
+ dreams where my environment is rapidly changing
+dreams where I have multiple dreams back to back that are wildly different
+ dreams of body horror like I had a dream of someone i loved being covered in moss, another time they were a rotting corpse, sometimes it’s acne based, a lot of the time it’s me hiding from someone who’s literally about to die in horrific ways. (I recently had a dream where a woman got surgery and it all split open and it sickened me so bad I had to stay up for an hour before I could fall back asleep at like 3 am)
+dreams where I die
+an amalgamation of all that
I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever had a “good” dream.
Like most ppl have dreams about going to work, being embarrassed, finding the love of their lives, their teeth falling out, etc.
Mine is being in a jumbled up rubix cube of an environment where I’m at school, but it’s not my school visually, but one room is from my school and my school is also a hospital now and I have to go to class but oh someone is getting throwing up their guts and oh now I’m in my house and my mom who’s not really my mom is hunting me down and I have to run away through the woods that are near my house but I don’t have woods near my house and now I’m at a haunted house and being stalked by creepy dolls— and on and on and on.
Once I had a dream I was in a church chapel and it was like the 1600s and it was a church but also acted as like a courthouse and I was watching someone’s trial where they were getting sentenced to beheading and then it randomly flipped and I was pulled from the crowd as the offender somehow and I had the most realistic, terrifying feeling of actual death when I realized I was going to die and a blade came down and I didn’t feel any pain rlly but everything when black and my head dropped in the basket and I remember still being concious but everything was muffled and my brain was all fuzzy and then I woke up. I was genuinely so sick to my stomach after waking up. It’s hard to describe the feeling other than I literally felt what it feels like to accept death and it’s horrific.
I’m just curious if this happens to anyone else.
I haven’t tried anything to prevent these dreams, I kinda feel like I can’t anymore even if I did try everything in the book. It’s why I’ve been trying so hard to learn how to lucid dream because I want to be able to feel safe and comfortable when I’m in a dream. And like technically I do because when I’m in my dreams I’m usually like an entire separate person (whether I look like me or not) kinda like a video game. So it’s “normal” to me in the dream. But obviously, it’s not comfortable in the way I want it to be.
If anyone has any tips on how to calm down my dreams a least a little bit pls drop it in notes because I’m desperate atp.
Sorry for the random rant but I find dreams so fascinating in general and this has been bothering me for days because they always spike up sometimes and turn into actual nightmares and I’ve been getting that recently. I hope this was actually interesting to people who did read this atrocious yap session.
I see u and I appreciate u 🫶
I actually have tons of dreams I remember pretty well if anyone wants to hear me specifically talk about all my weird dreams. I do keep a dream journal but it’s not consistent at all and sometimes I’m either too tired to write down the dream or too terrified of it to recall so there are some I don’t remember at all or it’s hard for me to talk abt in detail.
Even describing some of them in text gives me chills.
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sergeifyodorov · 8 months
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Sorry, but as a non Canadian whose from the Pacific Northwest and thus has only interacted with Vancouverites, what the fuck is a Toronto accent and what’s the difference between it and a Newmarket one?
Okay answer as serious as I can make it sound: BC/Vancouver English is genuinely phonetically different from Ontario/Toronto English in a few ways -- Ontario across the board has stronger effect of more "stereotypical" Canadian accent features such as:
Canadian raising (before unvoiced consonants, au- and ai- diphthongs (think "house" or "writer") are a "higher" vowel than before voiced ones (ex. "writer" and "rider" have two different vowels to me))*
Oo- fronting (pushing "forward" of the vowel)
/ae/ raising (making "bag" closer to rhyming with "maid") before g (think saying baygel?)
There's a few other ones but I'm on mobile and it's 1am and they're a lot more like... linguistic jargony... if you are interested pls review the "Canadian Shift" on your own time i barely understand it myself 😭😭😭
*Other Non-Canadian regions in the area (American Great Lakes) or ancestral regions (parts of the British Isles) will sometimes do one of these shifts (either ai- or au-) but only Canada does both
Functionally Newmarket and Toronto probably have similar enough accents that they're indistinguishable unless you are going IN with the audio software but I am a Vibes Man and to me they're different. I can't explain it but they are. I can tell when someone has gone between Bloor and Castle Frank on the subway organically or not it's the vibe
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yotsubaclover · 6 months
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explaining my blorbo associations pt2: jules who i do not draw often im so sorry u look like that babygirl
song: i actually... have never made a jules playlist LMAO my jules brainrot is so academic i could spit theories for him but not songs. so i had to dive into my spotify likes and find something. goldilocks spot is actually from a very old jolyne playlist i made but i think it also fits jules. to me it's a song about being painfully aware of how... average? not-outstanding? just there? you are and the angst that comes with it, the bitterness towards other people (in jules' case, for not seeing him as who he knows himself to be—a noble). but there's also a stubborness and pride that keeps you from fully confronting those feelings/that dilemma and finding peace within it, which is fitting for the persistent turbulence within jules... a lot of this is my (quite liberal?) interpretation tho so yeah
color & object: purple is the color of royalty and lavender is pretty and calming and healing. quite the nice set of descriptions for someone like jules :)
animal: i dont kin assign animals often so this was hard. but i chose raven as a parallel to doves... because jules' dove of happiness was/is rosemarine, and because jules is almost like rose's shadow in many ways... also ravens are kinda bad omens i feel like for all the gentleness jules shows he is also obviously capable and willing to do terrible things, he's selfish and prideful and even a little greedy... and lol i think the negativity also fits some of his self-image
drink: tea! of course! what else would i put
aesthetic: i think classic dark academia with all its elite-ness and occult-ness and general fucked up-ness would be a very average jules genre. smack him in a dark academia plot a la secret history and he's right at home lol. even his fallen noble status makes for an interesting pov in a dark academia story. the genre's potential for class analysis and commentary too is jules de ferrier
other: i think it was a fic which was about jules and perfume which made me think about this association... lavender was the scent too so that is another explanation to the above lol. as for the shadows again it's cos of his duo thing with rosemarine but also everything he does is kind of... in the shadows... he has engaged in shady shit (gang moment???) and is often lurking/observing situations (as the right hand man yk) and also just him looking out for the people he cares about even if in incredibly convoluted ways (see: rosemarine and jules' deal with the thugs who wanted to beat him up when they first arrived at lacombrade). he does the dirty work in the dark or smth like that. tbh there are a lot of oppositions with rosejules, the light/shadow thing is pretty on the nose i think but my favorite is probably the feminine/masculine. (disclaimer thisis an idea spitball Only so pls do not sue me for incorrect use of terminology; im sorry feminist theory i promise ill read more of you BUT a lot of the ideas kind of branch out of 2nd wave ideas/concepts i believe)
because publicly rose seems to take the patriarchal role as the superintendent (ie. being the disciplinarian, having power, being the symbol of the institution) while jules assumes a more matriarchal role as advisor, someone more approachable and "kinder" than the patriarch... then it all gets skewed because of auguste's presence, so they actually switch with rose being "feminized" and jules being "masculinized" but anyway LOL i have many thoughts on this specific kind of. feminist/queer inspired reading of rosejules
i hate his ass so much cos it's so fucking hard to break his character down in a comprehensible way. the thesis topic thing is only partly a joke. i genuinely think with the depths i am going to look at this i can find something in him or maybe im just delusional lmao i probably am
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luxmoogle · 6 months
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ALRIGHT WASSUP I love your art style and am an art student so I know a little bit bout what makes art recognizable, (not an expert and definitely not good at remembering terms so don't act like this is some art bible) lemme tell you what I think makes your art recognizable and "lux".
First, you got your shape language. That would be what the other person was referring to as proportions. (Since we're talking about Sora, proportions is absolutely not a wrong word to use, but I'm going to talk about shapes specifically.) The cheek? Always the exact same little curve, same spot, the forehead is the same, which creates a head shape that is incredibly recognizable as you. The hair is also always the same, which may seem weird considering your drawing hair that's pre established but you have a very unique way of doing it. The shape of his lower hair on the back of his head especially stands out to me. His body is always the same type of lanky, you draw his arms and hands a very particular type of way. Overall, very recognizable and consistent.
The colors you use. Honestly, I don't even know how to describe this, and I literally took a class on colors. The only word I can think of is "surreal". They're usually very vibrant, but destaturated at the same time? Like you're taking vibrant colors and putting desaturated ones on top? Genuinely hard to describe. It is one of the most beautiful color jobs I've ever seen tho, and I'm not exaggerating. If you could explain I'd honestly love to try (read: steal) whatever technique you use. Also very consistent, even in the black and white photos. I think it's partially lighting but I digress.
The other person brought up your eyes, and that's probably one of THE most consistent parts of your art I notice. I'm not rly gonna go into detail, cause you said you worked on eyes a lot so I'm gonna just leave you to that honestly cause the eyes you draw are iconic imo. Beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking. No notes just keep it up 🫡
Your lines (and the texture of the drawing) are specifically sketchy, like a very specific type of sketchy. I'm guessing it's the texture of the brushes you use, and it also makes it consistent and recognizable. This is probably one of the things that makes the black and white photos more recognizable as well, since they don't technically have colors to with with and, imo, that's one of the most recognizable parts of your art. The very specific shapes you use are about on par with the colors, with everything else gradually moving down the list.
So yeah. My mini essay on your art. I hope this helps you understand cause honestly? Your art is iconic. Gorgeous. Magnificent. I dream of drawing like you. Pls keep it up cause on god it brightens my day every time I see you post, art or no
I appreciate you taking the time to write out such a long and thoughtful post~! ❤️ This was a very interesting and fun read! I am in many ways completely blind to my own work. Unlike looking at someone else's work, it's very hard to distance myself far enough from my own to see it's prominent features.
For color I can I say I am aware of color theory and mostly follow a sensible routine of cool shadows and warm light points, things that are further away seem more blue etc. etc... But at some point while drawing/painting I do usually fall into adding and prodding the colors into a more impressionistic vibe and away from realism, mostly favoring cool toned colors and adding tones to places that they realistically shouldn't be, but they aesthetically please me, so.
Thank you for all the compliments, I've re-read this quite a few times now, but don't really know what to say besides a boring thank you~! This has left me a lot to ponder, and I'm very glad for your writing..!
Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, take care~!❤️
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byanyan · 2 months
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sorry this is not the most eloquent ask or detailed or rambly, i have mush brain at the moment. but i did want to come in and say that like. one of the things about byan i've always really liked is just the way you have them... converse? i don't think that's the right way to phrase my thoughts here but. the topics they engage in, the things they speak about... somehow they are always so intriguing or fun or even messed up or serious. i'm not explaining myself well here, but think of it like if i knew byan in real life, i'd always be attentive because i'd be so curious what comes out of their mouth all the time lol. there's definitely more i could say and i'm sure i could write this better if i was more focused, but i wanted to come and tell you this while it's on my brain because their dialogue is like one of my fave things.
send me your favourite detail about how i play my characterㅤㅤ∘ ˚ ( accepting )
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omg pls... this was the most unexpected ask/detail but it made me so genuinely happy to read?? ;A; i actually spend a good deal of time on their dialogue trying to make it read the way i imagine them saying it and like... to word it all in the right way for them, if that makes sense? i've always imagined byan as a very unique if chaotic person to talk to, a very interesting one to speak with, but i myself don't feel that i am a particularly interesting person so i honestly always worry that i don't do them justice in that aspect. i try really hard to always make their dialogue fun and a little weird (or worrying lmao) but interesting so it's seriously so relieving and encouraging to hear that someone finds it to be so and enjoys it, so like!!! thank you so much!!! this genuinely made me smile so fuckin hard & even clutch my chest when i read it last night ;u; ♡
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thissying · 1 year
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i am actually interested! as someone who grew up with a jos for a dad, it just drives me slightly insane when people say "oh it's complex and they love you in their own way" as a way to excuse abuse (and it's why i came on so strong). from what we know, jos is (was?) a physically and psychologically abusive person to max (and other people!). i'm genuinely wondering what the nuance is from your pov.
pls keep ur good mood for today but if you want to use me as a jumping off point go for it. you can answer me privately if you want!
I'm sorry for your experiences and if people have been using that as an excuse for how your father treated you. Because it really isn't and it shouldn't be.
When it comes to Jos and Max specifically though, without excusing, diminishing or negating what we know of what we generally consider awful things, like I said, I do think it's complex and I do think it's not just Max that loves Jos but that Jos loves Max, too. We each bring our own experiences to how we see them, with a limited view point because we're not in their lives, of course but from everything I've seen and heard and read in (Dutch and foreign) media from themselves and people close to them I think he's not, like someone else said on that original post that started this convo, a one dimensional villain. People rarely are, of course. But generally, fandom does seem to view, talk about and write him like that.
For me, the nuance is visible in the pictures like in that post, in the way they talk to and about each other, how their relationship was so incredibly intricate and that they're still very much in each other's lives. It's Jos being there for family dinners at Sophie's, laughing at a joke Max makes at his expense, it's Victoria saying Jos always called her every day after the divorce and being supportive when she didn't know what to do with her life, it's Max happily explaining he listens to music that reminds him of him and Jos on the road in the van during his karting days when they drove thousands of kilometers to Italy and back all the time, it's Max right now wanting Jos to be very much a part of his future race team plans, etc.
I think none of that would be happening if Jos would be like fanon Jos (loveless, abusive, disapproving of everything Max is and does) no matter how loyal children can be towards abusive parents or how hard his management works on PR.
I see no reason to assume Jos is abusive towards Max in the present, btw. Unless it's because Sky tries to imply things when a qualifying goes bad and Jos is visibly bummed. But I think that's more of a Sky problem.
(It doesn't mean I like him. And should other things ever come to light, my opinion might change, too.)
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pregnancykink · 11 months
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this is a bit of a personal question, so i understand if you don’t want to answer! as someone who’s transmasc but fem i struggle to explain to others & rationalize myself why i feel more strongly aligned w/ fem men than fem women. it’s had me wondering whether i really am transmasc. i know that you as a transmasc are fem presenting & that you’re interested in pregnancy so i wanted to hear your take on it.
how do you differentiate between being a cis fem woman and a trans fem man? how does it “feel” different to you to be transmasc, and change how you see yourself? seeing your confidence in your photos and your comfort with your gender has been immensely helpful for me and it’d mean a lot if i could get your thoughts on this! :) pls answer if you feel comfortable
Hey anon! I’m extremely touched that me posting and stuff has helped you out🥺
I think first of all is that I try NOT to rationalize myself to people — I (we) don’t need to! One of the most important things a friend told me is “I don’t need you to get it or understand, I just need you to respect me.” This has especially been helpful with people like my parents who I genuinely think would get it more if I were a binary trans man lol. But they don’t have to get it! They just need to respectfully try to use my pronouns and say stuff like “my child” instead of “my daughter.”
Secondly, it’s important to remember that everyone’s gender journey is their own. It can be really hard to not get bogged down especially in this age of social media. Like I was posting about yesterday — it gets me down that I’m not so confident in HRT like a lot of people I know are! But also — and I know I’m immensely lucky for this — most of my friends are also trans and are very supportive of me and my identity which is very helpful. When I feel “less” trans I know that’s me projecting and not anybody making me feel that way.
Re: differentiating — I don’t see myself as a cis fem woman because I’m not! That sounds so stupidly simple but it really is. When I think of calling myself a woman I get this icky feeling all over. I don’t think this means I can’t connect to womanhood. I personally DO feel like I was a girl who later blossomed (lol) into a dude. I went through a lot of stuff as a girl that I still connect with. Doesn’t mean the trans shit wasn’t always there. Now that I know, I see a lot of egg moments in my younger self. But I still connect with my girlhood. A lot of trans people were always that gender and that’s awesome. I don’t feel that way, and that’s also okay. A great phrase I use a lot is “one person’s dysphoria is another’s euphoria.”
That all said — identifying with fem men over fem women definitely speaks to you identifying with masculinity. I think masculinity can be whatever you make it. Sometimes I feel so masc when I have a full face and super revealing dress on! I get it though, it sucks when people don’t see you how you are. And it can be a bummer to constantly correct people. It does get me down a lot. I think I take a lot of comfort in surrounding myself with people who respect me — I know this is easier said than done but I really recommend trying to get involved in your local queer community if at all possible, and if not finding people online.
Re: my presentation — I never felt like I was born in the wrong body or anything like that, I have way more social dysphoria. I don’t like that I’m seen as a woman walking down the street. I don’t like that when guys hit on me at the bar it’s 99% of the time because they think I’m just an alt girl. But I don’t want to change to fit what others perceive. I like my boobs! I like my pussy! I like my curves! And I think really trying to overcome the “this body type/presentation = woman” thing in your head is HARD but necessary. I totally get why others want top, bottom, etc. That’s their way of feeling more aligned with their gender and that’s fantastic. For me…it isn’t. Really trying to view these things as neutral is hard but necessary.
Same with pregnancy. Now I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl (see!) and now that I’m a grown man/masc/person that hasn’t changed. I really really view pregnancy as a neutral. It’s something my body can do and I want to do it. Society equates this (and wanting this — but there ARE cis men who want to be pregnant too! People of every gender!) with being a woman but working to remember and surrounding yourself with people who know it’s a neutral can be helpful. That’s another thing like…I would consider myself a mother. Some transmascs who choose to give birth may want to be called a father or another term. I view these terms as neutral in my head. Like gender identity it’s whatever feels right to YOU.
Whoever you identify with that makes YOU feel good is valid — like I know the word valid has been overused on the Internet but I really mean it. Like Joan Jett is on my gender moodboard as much as Kellan Lutz in Twilight. I really found comfort in finding my own style, which I describe as jock/goth (joth) lol and so playing around with that has been helpful. If fem men are how you feel connected to your masculinity — then hell yes! With stuff like makeup…I like makeup! That’s a value neutral! I like the artistry and playing around with it. I have to work to remember that it isn’t an inherently cisfem thing.
Unfortunately a lot of my coping is self-validation (and luckily, from my friends too) and believing that society will catch up.
I know this was SUPER rambly but my coping mechanism has been fake it till you make it from the time I was a 9 year old being bullied in 4th grade and it still is. If you act confident the confidence will come…
Idk how helpful this was but I hope it was a bit!
Btw — if you feel transmasc, then you are :) it’s as simple as that!
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beheadedhoward · 6 months
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HIHIHI THIS IS MY INTRO POST THING FOR MY PINNED!! :3 ITS NOT VERY WELL PUT TOGETHER BUT I'LL FIX IT EVENTUALLY I SWEARRRR
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DNI
mainly just basic dni criteria (racist, lgbtqphobic, ableist, etc)
radinclus and radexclus, terf, antineoprns/antixenogender, zionist
nsfw accounts and proshippers
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ABOUT ME :3
my name is robbie or kenz/kenzie, idrc what im called but those are like always good kinda names for me yk
he/ghost and really any neoprns, dont use it/its for me unless we're close pls
im NOT used to tumblr yet ive barely used it until a few days ago but ive had it for a while, im one of those twitter refugees from that one time. so that might explain some stuff yk
this is not my main i made this just for six and other musicals maybe. my main is @/feelterribleinc
I am autistic, bpd, bipolar, anxiety and cptsd
im a trans guy (and prob bigender with that but like mostly a guy) and bi, also aroacespec
I AM A MINOR!!!
i am always way too scared to message first so if you ever want to become friends or talk to me you have to do it first I will not ever get the hint!!!
i am cringe but i am free or whatever o7
i experience delusions often! i am delusional! a lot of the time its harmful things but i won't talk about those often! less harmful delusions of mine are genuinely believing i am someone else/a character i like
im an artist and a kind of writer!! all my art is on my main rn, but keep in mind most of the art there rn is old
im very very very passionate about my interests be warned ...
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WHAT I LIKE:0c
this will be a list of my main interests, and some music i like and some musicals ive seen
main interests:
Six (obv)
^ because of this, the tudor family and royals in general !
Monster High
Scott Pilgrim
Coraline
MLP
TADC
SpongeBob (more so the musical than the show, but both either way)
Into The Woods
Musicals I like/have seen:
Six
SpongeBob
Legally Blonde
Addams Family
West Side Story (havent seen the newer one tho)
Matilda
High School Musical
Dear Evan Hansen
Into The Woods
Hamilton (I saw it live on broadway in May!!!)
this list will be updated as i watch more so. yaur !
Music:
The Front Bottoms
Pierce The Veil
Penelope Scott
System Of a Down
Korn
Mommy Long Legs
My Chemical Romance
Sublime
and a LOT more.
after here isnt as important BUT i would like it to be read if you so desire
if youre not reading on, thank you for reading byee:3
more info regarding the fandoms im in
i am VERY passionate abt my fav ships and such (i'll list my main ones that will be posted abt at the bottom of this section)
i headcanon my favs very heavily, and it will show when I draw them or write about them
this blog is mainly for six the musical but im deffo gonna use it for other stuff, MOSTLY musicals but whatever I post is what I post. my main is more insanity about everything I like tho
my main ships: araleyn, clevemour, parrward, plankaren, patbob
(also: not at the same time as the other six ships but parrleyn, katanna, parrmour, aramour)
if you read to here thanks! and bye!! if you have questions then uh yeah do your thing
THANK YOU GOODBYE XO BABYS
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shriekinghavoc · 1 year
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WAIT okay i am actually so invested in the god tier concepts. pls. pls explain (if you want, i mean. i am genuinely -eyes emoji-)
OH MY GOD THANK YOU
This also counts as a character analysis so if anyone wants to read that.... I guess this is also a Hank, Don, Dawn, and Holly character analysis!
For those of you who don't read Homestuck but are interested, here's a quick explanation on what God Tiers are. For those of you who have read Homestuck and are wondering what qualities I consider to be "behind" ones God Tier being what it is, let this serve as an answer.
Homestuck is basically like Sword Art Online in that it's about kids stuck in a video game. The difference is the video game manipulates the players' reality instead of being a virtual reality. God Tiers are the "final form" a player can achieve in that video game and grants them abilities they'll naturally unlock both before and after they achieve God Tier.
These abilities are determined by a class (ex: page, bard, rogue) and an aspect (ex: life, hope, blood.)
Aspects are vague categories of concepts and things. For instance: Light means both actual literal light as well as information, money, and resources. Breath can mean the literal wind and it can mean freedom. Even hobbies can be related to one's aspect: (space is about creation so hobbies such as gardening, sewing, painting, and writing are all known hobbies for space players)
Classes are how someone relates to their aspect and would use it to fight. This can change the whole meaning of the aspect, which I will explain for each Hawk and Dove. These relations determine/are determined by the character arc each character goes through in Homestuck.
Holly Granger
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Class: Rogue of Time
For Holly's temper and offensive nature, I still chose the passive Rogue class. The Rogues are those that steal their aspect from others for the good of their allies. For a Rogue of Time, this means Holly is steals time from others for the greater good. For as little as we saw of her in canon, she mostly treats herself like a tank in fights, putting herself at the fore front of things while others worked on a solution. She literally buys time.
Holly also has some of the fastest speeds we've seen from any Hawk or Dove (not including Justice League Unlimited) out running Dawn on two occasions out of her few appearances (and Dawn was always faster than Hank, and Don wasn't much faster than him.) She also has a known interest in music (tempo and rhythm themed.)
Lastly time players tend to have strained relationships with others and tend to distance themselves in some way, putting up acts to drive others away, genuinely not caring what people think, or just generally being vocal about how they're fine are all canon traits.
Dawn Granger
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Class: Mage of Breath
This may surprise some to hear, but Dawn is very much a lonely character.
Yes, she knows Ren and Donna before Hank meets them but she is barely seen hanging out with them on her own after. Hank, however, is always hanging out with them (as we'll get into later.) As Dawn, she sits squished against the diner wall so the "couples" can talk and tries to boost her own confidence by dating a guy as herself. For fucks sake- she dated Boston Brand. Even before she became the kind of girl who can't hold her beer, she and Holly were talking about bars not being her thing. She was the kind of person who upon finding out she wasn't the only Dove went an ocean over to find Hawk.
In the 80s, at the least, part of her arc was very obviously that she felt more confident as Dove. I'd like to think it's because, as Dove, she was still isolated and unwilling to let other heroes know their secret, but she was more open and freed by her solitude. She maintained her friendship with Hank, but she's also more confident because she has freed herself from their expectations.
So long as she's behind a mask, that is.
Onto powers: Flight is really Dawn's shtick and main, memorable trait. Since Don never got the chance, she's the only canon flier on their team. All god tiers can fly, but breath has domain over the wind. I made her a Mage because Mages gather knowledge about their aspect- which is what Dawn wanted to do with her Dove powers. She wanted to become a master of manipulating it.
Her seeking out new languages to learn, offensive but calculated for minimum damage approach to enemies, and her attitude towards bonds made this one pretty easy.
Don Hall
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Class: Seer of Space
Space players get the most important job in every game in Homestuck: Getting the "Win" condition. This is done by breeding frogs. The person who has this job has to be incredibly kind, devoted, and judgemental and controlling and-
I love Don, but if he was not a space player, he would not be having a good time and neither would the space player. More than that, this is the most removed and creative task complete with a final boss that you actually need to speak to and talk to instead of attacking like some others.
Space, being a creative aspect, is great for a character that loves art so much he teaches it in one universe as an adult and knew more than one local artist as a kid.
A seer can see or divine through their aspect, which I think is perfect for Don's "Danger Sense" power. All Hawks and Doves are said by "word of god" to have this (in-comic bios, dc databases, most third party websites-) but Don uses it the most frequently in his time, Dawn uses it sparingly, and it's even suggested a few times the Hawks don't have it at all. Terataya (by name and context of their realm) is heavily implied to be a creation deity, their powers linked to that of pure life energy through the White Lantern rings. I did consider life for this reason, but ultimately Don was never a healer, he was a creator with a plan for the future of the world.
Hank Hall
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Class: Prince of Blood
This may surprise some to hear, but Hank is very much a lonely character.
His entire character relates to his experiences with others and their impact on him. For as bold and loud as he is, he really does care about the other people in his life. He's always reaching out for people- grabbing Don to pull him over a fire escape, pulling Dawn away from Sal, hugging Ren over the shoulders and kissing her when she was scared, hugging his mom before breakfast- and when he loses those people- he's driven out of his mind wanting them back.
He did some really messed up stuff in canon when Don died, and I know it was retconned and I hate the plot point myself, but they sure did choose to have him turn into Monarch by loosing Dawn.
Hank would kill for everyone he loves, and he loves a lot of people very quickly and makes non-superhero friends very easily. Depending on the writer, he might still make superhero friends fast (Bette, Beast Boy, Barbara- love the Bs) and those relationships last a long time.
A prince destroys with their aspect, and Hank is definitely fueled as a protector (... even if he's usually the one getting protected in the end.)
Being a destroyer class also falls very in line with him being a Hawk, usually creating space for his Dove rather than just buying time (Though he did do that as well at one point- He's often seen making advances and driving foes back away from Dove and civilians, trying to control the fight or disorient.)
Other Notes Homestuck Fans Will Enjoy:
-Time and Space as well as Blood and Breath are opposites of each other and are actually a perfect cross on the aspect wheel, each of them being extremes of "concept" and "connection."
-Being a time and space player respectively actually works great for Don's "sky's the limit" and "it's worth a try" approach to enemies compared to Holly's more practical "let's get it over with" approach.
-I did customize the outfits (most notably Hank's and least notably Dawn's) this is because I think the God Tier outfits as-is look ridiculous on adults most of the time and especially adults without the Homestuck Body Type.
-It was an accident that the Hawks turned out red and the Doves both got knowledge gathering classes. I actually went through the whole aspect wheel deciding who would be what very carefully before I picked these four.
-It was NOT an accident that both Holly and Don are passive and Hank and Dawn are active classes.
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sarcophagid · 2 years
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Hiiii icon✨✨✨
is it cool if I ask you abt how ur ocs' relationship dynamic with others varies depending on who decides to show up to meet tenjiku ahahaha
(pls go crazy)
bad with words so i made a chart but i think i am also bad with charts idk how much this helps. also obviously there’s more to relationships than like/dislike but here is the charts.
timeline 1 graph starts when the caller joins tenjiku up to kanto incident. timeline 2 graph starts about halfway through timeline 1 up to kanto incident.
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and details:
in timeline 2 the callers are better with izana, or at least izana knows more about madonna and solo. in all graphs it ends off poorly with izana because that’s when the caller ‘betrayed’ tenjiku, and izana figures out it’s the same person.
the dip in the kakucho-jokanan line is because he initially thought jokanan was an alright guy for getting izana to be so lively and all, so he approached him about how izana was going down a dark path etc. but the caller didn't actually care about tenjiku's path, and izana was Really attached to kisaki's ability to facilitate his vendetta so jokanan just went "sorry buddy it's out of my hands". and after that kakucho sorta considers jokanan as a kisaki with manners.
kakucho more or less likes solomon. his criteria for what makes a person likeable is situationally low and solomon demonstrates a genuine sense of morals and honor which sticks out compared to the other callers. 
speak of the devil kisaki never likes the caller especially the leader, because they’re meddling with tenjiku.
sanzu really hates all of the callers. i can't exactly explain the whole relationship between the caller and sanzu if i want to be concise, because it had less to do with plot and more with backstory and fleshing out characters. so it wasn't included in the summary, but it was pretty important in retrospect.
intially, sanzu was concerned about this group, because they had their fingers in too many peoples pie, so he posed as a different toman member asking the client for help. they turned this 'client' away because it was the peak of the groups infamy and they were too busy. sanzu winds up the most persistent rejected client, and the caller eventually acquiesces to talk, bcz why do you care so much.
note: the callers process is really personal and consists of forming a trusting relationship with a client, which is why they're so picky-choosy with clients - they single out people who don't have anyone else and become the only person they rely on. in this way, money can be completely forgone for a favor system instead. the caller leaves them just as empty, now 'owing' them in some way. (this isn't particularly monstrous or charitable as it sounds).
through exchanges with sanzu, they deduce that he isn't viable as a client but sanzu is interesting in 2 ways: 1) he is already empty save for something requiring all his devotion in a similar fashion to a client. 2) he hides something horrible in his memory relating to this devotion. (this is the scar incident but they don't know)
in timeline 1, their reason for being so isolated was because of a past event they can't remember and refer to as a 'black hole' in their memory (as in, memory goes in but doesn't come back out). they thought sanzu had the same case that they had, so they were curious if sanzu was somehow able to recall his own 'black hole memory', and tried to bring it out.
the impact this has on sanzu's perception of the caller is bad lmfao. but he's also marginally attached to them because at the time, he had to come to terms with the fact that if he were to continue his path of supporting mikey, he would have to resort to worse methods (ex. he later kills mucho which is a big step up from before). he thought the caller, who indirectly caused a lot of conflicts and crimes in the past, knew how to drive a person past the moral obstacles of wrongdoings. in his position, he couldn't confide in someone in toman (later in tenjiku, there's even less people he can trust), so he was ironically safer with a stranger. i won't go into anymore detail because this is a very long paragraph but at the end, they sort of both realize the other person knew nothing about what they were trying to find out (L)
plot-wise, sanzu eventually finds out jokanan and leader are the ‘same person’ before izana does, but he has no loyalty to tenjiku so he doesn’t tell him 😭. in timeline 2, sanzu is more of a neutral dislike because the caller already went through that development so theres no reason to bother him anymore.
anyways sanzu also thinks jokanan is annoying because he keeps calling him stupid shit (horse jokes, soldier-boy (mocking), dog jokes (regionally offensive. not even the right region)).
TLDR: they were using each other b4 they realized the other wasn’t usable at all
another thing i left out more because of incompleteness was that the caller hangs with hanma and hinata for a relatively long time (not the same time lol). i won’t get into that because it’s unfinished rn 😔
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