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#something that made me really not want my birthday in the first place cause i was like ‘what’s to celebrate’
hatchetsfield-arch · 5 months
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y’all look at my birthday cake! do you think if we sing the summoning instead of happy birthday the lords in black’ll appear
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skunkes · 7 months
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the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.
I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....
every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....
#talkys#this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did#there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way#but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset...#i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish#i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above#in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good?#isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than...#i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish#and because im no better than anyone else#my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck#pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day#i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!!#and it is true....!#we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish#i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler.#*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim#i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....
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sharkieboi · 2 months
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broke person life hack win! convinced my grandma to buy me a bookshelf for my birthday so that I don’t have to spend the money myself!
#shhh sharkie#she texted me to send me a gift card but then was so insistent on sending me a physical thing as well#and i’ve been putting off buying a bookshelf cause a) broke af and b) don’t have a car to transport one from a physical store#i made it work with the ikea thing but that’s all in all a lot of money to burn and i wouldn’t be able to afford doing that for a while#but all my books are just in this sad pyramid on the floor and i want them on my shelves dammit#and she asked! and i was like fuck it. you know what I really need that I can’t afford right now? a nice bookshelf.#I know she and my grandpa have plenty of money to spend and spending it on their grandkids is their favorite thing to do#fuck it. yeah nonna can you buy me a nice bookshelf for my new-ish apartment?#it will be arriving next week!#especially since I didn’t get any cards or gifts from my immediate family.#birthdays are always very depressing for me but it hurt a lot this year that i’m like finally in the best mental place i’ve been in a while#and i’m trying so much harder to keep connections with my family and friends and mostly succeeding!!!!!#but my parents didn’t even send me a card.#which they do every year. i know cause I keep them. i have a special folder and everything.#i think i’ve just fucked up our relationship to the point I can’t fix it and it makes me sad and so mad at myself.#they fucked it up first but if it was important to me i should have tried harder to fix it.#and even if it’s like. they did send something but i have a mail/package thief so i don’t know that they sent anything.#they’re going to assume me not texting them a thank you is me being ungrateful and bad at communicating#not that something didn’t get delivered#so I won’t know until I see them in person next and that would only be if they brought it up#AND if they bring it up it’s going to be in disappointment and anger yknow?#so anyway tldr if Nonna is willing to buy me a nice bookshelf for my birthday because i’m broke and asked nicely i’ll fucking take it#she’s the only one who asked if I wanted something for my birthday#and i’m trying to be better about accepting the help i’m offered#and asking for help with bigger and inconvenient things#thanks Nonna can’t wait for the shelves
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evermore-fashion · 8 months
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Did I make a mistake?
As you're all well aware of I said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr thinking my decision was final. However after reading all your wonderful messages I started to have doubts about my decision. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to pinpoint why I thought I had fallen out of love with high end fashion as well as Tumblr itself and the answer has been in front of my face for the best part of four years. A broken down friendship that has been plaguing my mental health… until recently and I'm going to finally explain why. I had a best friend for the best part of 15 years that went downhill both slowly and unexpectedly. We met on a forum back in 2005 and hit it off instantly. We then met up and went on various holidays, attended concerts together, did mini weekend breaks away and got to know each other's families really well. More importantly they were the only person in my life who knew about this blog and shared my love for high end fashion. Like most friendships though it had its ups and downs but no matter what we always gravitated back towards one another, until March 2020. A week or so before COVID and lockdown took hold of our lives they told me they had met someone. I was genuinely happy for them, except for the fact they had let slip that I was the last person to know. This broke my heart and their trust as they continued to let slip more details that indicated that I was being pushed out in favour of a new crowd (aka university friends who they had told me they disliked a few months beforehand) alongside their new partner. They stayed with their partner on and off throughout COVID and I was either pushed out the door or let back in depending on their relationship status. The relationship came to an end for good towards the end of 2022 and as always I was let back into their life with plans for 2023 being made. However I held back knowing the hurt it would cause me if things suddenly changed again. This was also my breaking point with them as I wanted to protect my heart from anymore hurt, and I believe this is where my love for creativity began to faulter. Whilst I found my love for gaming I felt this mental block around Evermore-Fashion and Evermore-Grimoire which I thought was down to my passions changing. I was clearly wrong. The friendship was up and down for another six months, until last summer. They had got back in contact with me despite the fact they had started acting cold towards me which manifested in a crap Christmas and Birthday. Yet I was still willing to hear their side of the story, but it never came as they ghosted me and I haven't spoken to them since which hasn't been fun to deal with both mentally and emotionally. Although I now fully believe this is what was killing my spirit and everything I had loved for so long. Anyway fast forward to January 2024, I've said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr when lo and behold I come across a social media post that changed everything. The ex friend had written something personal that contradicted everything they had told me (over their relationship break up) which not only angered me but it lit a fire under my butt to stop stewing in the "what ifs?" as well as holding on to a small bit of hope that they'd finally apologise for treating me like a piece of shit on the back of their shoe for so long. Not only that but I started to miss why I enjoyed being online in the first place. I checked out Vogue to see what was occurring during Paris Fashion Week and I yearned to share the Spring 2024 Couture collections on Tumblr (even though I still think it's still a toxic cesspit). Yes I could easily start this up on Wordpress or Instagram but let's face it, Tumblr is still the easiest place to start blogging creatively. So here I am. The fog surrounding my love for fashion has lifted alongside the mental and emotional baggage I've been holding on to for far too long. There's just one thing I'm still wondering though… do you guys forgive me (as I feel like I've messed you all around ) and is it okay to come back? 🥹
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imxnotxhere · 10 months
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Azriel Fic Recs
** Updated 03/07/2024 **
A collection of amazing fics I think everyone should read. Also an appreciation for the writers that carry this fandom on their back.
One Shots:
@azrielhours
soft spot - smut, fluff - "Azriel is very particular about his lovers; typically hard-hearted women chosen so they don’t develop an emotional attachment. Reader is one of these lovers, except she’s the sweetest and cheeriest on his roster. This causes Az to begin breaking his rules about intimacy, especially when she unwittingly ends up at his home for work one evening and spends the night."
take care - fluff - "There Was only One Bed trope, reader and Az stay at an Inn overnight, they take care of each other."
i want you to rest - fluff - 10/10 comfort fic - "Reader has a nightmare while on a mission w the boys. Azriel comes to the rescue, brings her to his room to comfort her. She doesn’t want to sleep so he stays with her through the night."
lessons on relief - smut - "Azriel is the last of the boys to lose his virginity"
tight enough - fluff - "Reader needs help tightening her corset and no one's around to help but Azriel."
captured - fluff - "The camera has been invented and Azriel takes up a hobby of capturing reader, proving how pretty she can be."
@tadpolesonalgae
unchained - smut
stockholm syndrome - smut, dark!az - please check the warnings before reading!
birthday girl - fluff
dreamy - smut
@azsazz
the caress of murder and moonlight - smut, rhys x azriel x reader - "Rhysand and Azriel are having a secret meeting out in the woods. Upon hearing your scream, the race to save you, and you thank them in the only way you know how."
after hours - smut, modern au, office au - "You and Az work in the same office and you've been crushing on each other for quite some time. Late at the office one night, he decides to do something about it."
body and soul - vamp!az au, smut - recommend checking the other parts
dirty work - smut
leisurely - fluff
@azrielbrainrot
i'll be here - fluff - "You feel a little out of place at a celebration in the House of Wind and a certain Shadowsinger comes to the rescue."
such a perfect place to start - fluff - "Something happens that has you questioning the nature of your relationship with the shadowsinger."
maybe we could be the start of something - fluff, modern au, band au - Your friends invite you to a bar and you could never imagine who you'd meet there."
darling i'd wait for you even if you didn't ask me to - fluff, modern au, band au - "You have a really bad day and Azriel is there to help you through it."
you take me higher - smut - "What happens when you run into Azriel at a bar after a long mission?"
loose lips and big feelings - fluff - "Azriel gets a little drunk and you take care of him."
the right time - fluff - "Azriel wakes up with a massive hangover and the girl of his dreams sitting in his kitchen."
when prayers fall on deaf ears - angst - "For the first time in his life, Azriel is not ready to accept death."
all over my skin - smut - "You find yourself in an empty room between the High Lord and the Shadowsinger."
sweet somethings - fluff - "You help Azriel put on a necklace and almost get lost in his eyes."
@serpentandlily
no going back- angst - "Azriel has been your mate, your husband, your love for centuries. But a certain Archeron sister has him questioning your relationship after all this time. You soon find out that there are simply things that can not be unsaid or undone. And sometimes, there are things you can’t come back from."
the shadowsinger's secret - "After years spent trying to befriend the shadowsinger to no avail, you are finally ready to give up after accidentally overhearing him speak poorly of you. But when a gossip session exposes a life-changing secret, you realize you can’t let go of Azriel just yet."
birds of a feather - angst - "Azriel had been your closest friend, made from the very same things as you—birds of a feather, as they say. But you were not the girl he chose to fall in love with. So all you could do was love your mate in the shadows until the day you died."
we should stick together - angst - "Azriel deals with the aftermath of losing his mate."
@illyrianbitch
death and his reaper - angst - "After suffering a devastating injury in battle, Azriel finds himself on the brink of life and death where he meets you, The Mother's reaper."
winner - "You and Azriel are both sore losers. But when you cheat in a game of cards, winning takes on a whole new meaning."
@fever-fluff
take my hand - angst, fluff - "Azriel really wants to hold your hand, but he's afraid that he'll hold it too tight."
@florencemtrash
he feels safe with you - "Azriel's sleeping habits begin to worry you, but after a conversation with Cassian, you realize you've misinterpreted the entire situation."
@utterlyazriel
let me keep you company - "You're studying in Velaris and a certain Shadowsinger catches your eyes in more than one way. It takes a while to realise the shadow keeping you company means more than you expect."
@prythianpages
i've been waiting for you - "Azriel finally meets the one he's been longing for. His mate."
be safe - fluff - "You are on your way to Day Court when Azriel stops you. After the two of you fall victim to Cassian's and Mor's teasing, Azriel realizes why he can't just let you go."
@leafsandstarlight
forced revelations - fluff - "While on a mission with Azriel, reader is tricked by a creature into revealing that her feelings for the Shadowsinger go beyond mere friendship."
bad idea, right? - smut - "You stopped sleeping together months ago, but when Azriel invites you back to his place after seeing you at Rita's you just know you're going to fall right back into his bed."
@writingcroissant
just a little crush - fluff - "Everyone secretly longs for Azriel, but Azriel only longs for her."
hands - smut - "Azriel has really nice hands. And he knows how to use them, too."
@safetypinxtales
lonely with you - angst, fluff - "it seems like everyone's found their mates, except you. On a sleepless night you turn to your friend, in hopes that being alone, together, will feel slightly less lonely."
@acourtofmenandthirst
love you in the dark - angst (really heavy on the angst)
@milswrites
somewhere only we know - angst - "Azriel comes to visit you for the first time in a while."
sweetened dreams - smut - "Having access to the people of Velaris' dreams was a gift you did not take for granted. Having access to your mate's heated dreams? Absolutely delicious."
@azrielscrown
innocence - smut, fluff
@gothicbabydollz
azriel x archeron!sister!reader - smut
@honeybeefae
desperate times - smut - "While tending to Elain's garden you come across a mysterious flower with an even more mysterious pollen. As the effects of it start to hit you, you have to fend for yourself to get the edge off...or do you?"
@writingsbychlo
be yours - fluff - "you ask azriel how it's possible he's still single."
@lalacliffthorne
idiot - smut - "a fight gets out of hand, and suddenly, everything´s turned upside down"
Series:
@azsazz
cupid's chokehold - fluff, angst - this is such an interesting concept - "You are a Cupid, a nearly extinct creature of Prythian. When you get caught trying to shoot Elain with your arrow, well, it's a little hard to explain what you're trying to do."
@illyrianbitch
an education in malice - smut - "With the sharp tongue of your notorious family, you are Azriel's most tantalizing challenge yet. It only takes one small meeting before you both realize that the line between hate and desire is dangerously thin."
@azrielbrainrot
moonlit shadows - "When tasked to find the once famed Temple of the Moon Goddess, Azriel only expected to find old, forgotten ruins if anything at all. He could have never imagined that not only would he find a temple but also someone who would change his life forever."
@pellucid-constellations
i laugh like me again, she laughs like you - angst - "Azriel would give anything to hold you one more time."
of oblivious minds - fluff - "You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore."
@utterlyazriel
how long have i searched for you? an eternity my love - fluff - "azriel finds his mate in the most inopportune time and he convinces himself you haven't sought him out for good reason. he couldn't be more wrong."
@tadpolesonalgae
i can't bring myself to hate you - angst, smut (only one chapter for now at least) - this fic is my roman empire, literally obsessed with this. prepare for the pain and to kind of want to hit azriel over the head
eat you up - smut, dark!az - please check the warnings at the beginning! if you're ever in a mood for dark!az this is the perfect remedy (stockholm syndrome is a sort of epilogue? for this)
teeth and talons - smut, demon!az - "you’re accused of witchcraft and sacrificed to the shadow creatures, only to be saved by their ruler who’s suspiciously in sudden need of a bride…"
@leafsandstarlight
inadvertently yours - "As Eris Vanserra’s most trusted spy, you‘ve found yourself spending a surprising amount of time with the Night Court’s Spymaster. When your rendezvous with Azriel is discovered by High Lord Beron, the only way to protect the alliance is to pretend that you and Azriel are madly in love."
annual visit - fluff, smut - human reader, modern(?) au - "Each year on Halloween, Azriel visits the mortal lands with his friends to partake in the human debauchery that occurs. When he meets reader at a local bar, he can't take his eyes off her no matter how hard he tries."
@acourtofwhatthefuck
bluebird - fluff, angst
studious part 2 - smut
@lalacliffthorne
bat boys roommates - fluff, modern roommates au
Drabbles:
@gothicbabydollz
az spitting in your mouth - smut
@princess-tulip-writes
az pleasuring his mate with truthteller - smut
@fieldofdaisiies
azriel... - fluff, smut
azriel's hands - fluff, smut
@grandlinedreams
drabble - fluff, suggestive
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igotanidea · 2 months
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All figured out : Jason Todd x reader
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Summary: When duties and stuff get in the way of being close so bad he forgets your b-day... Or does he?
***
As of late they barely had time for each other. It was constantly his patrols, his wounds and bleeding, her work and headaches and everything in-between.
You know what they say after all, right? About the mundane everyday stuff killing more relationships than actual fights and heartbreaks. The case when you get so accustomed to being with each other that there’s nothing more to discover and the connection becomes simply boring.
And he didn’t want it.
She neither.
But what was to do when there was always something or someone.
What was to do when they both found themselves drifting apart, too focused on the duties and obligations and that constant train of thoughts, plans and internal anxiety they tried to suppress so hard there was barely any strength for anything else.
“Y/N.” 
“Hm?” She raised her head from the couch she dozed off while reading some notes for the upcoming work presentation. “Yeah? What’s wrong? How can I help?” Even in her half-hazy state with a post-it note stuck to her cheek, her first instinct was to sprung into action. And the fact that she missed his concerned face and affection beaming from his eyes did not go unnoticed.
“It’s your birthday today, baby…” Jason sighed, moving closer, crouching next to the couch to be somewhere close to her eye level and squeezing her hands.
“My birthday?” Her tone indicated that she barely recognized what day it was, let alone that the date was anything special “Really? I guess I forgot about that…”
“Y/N…”
“Hm?”
“I’m so sorry-“
“For what?” she tore the note from her cheek, finally meeting his eyes “Hey. Jason, baby. For what?”
“I forgot them too.”
“Well clearly not, if you’re the one reminding me.”
“I don’t have a gift for you.”
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
“It’s not enough.”
“It is enough for me.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Because us talking for more than five minutes might be the first time in weeks.”
“I’m sorry-“
“Yeah, me too.” She sighed “this is not just on you Jace. You’re only half of this relationship.”
“Only?” he teased, familiar sparks showing in his eyes
“Oh, here’s that mischief I know you for.” She chuckled leaning her forehead on his in a vulnerable gesture “What happened to us Jay?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t like it.”
“You don’t say.”
“And that’s why I’m taking you out tonight.”
“Wait, what? What about the patrol? The missions? The-“ the stream of words coming out of her mouth was cut abruptly as he placed a finger on her lips. “Hey-hmph!”
“Don’t think just because I’ve barely heard your voice lately I’m just going to let you bubble, princess.”
“But-“
“Now, put on you prettiest dress and do not worry your sweet little head about anything else”
“But-“
“If you keep talking I’ll have to silence you in some other way and then we won’t leave this apartment at all. And I’ve already made plans-.”
“In the past thirty seconds?!”
“Yes. Now do you want to ruin my plans for tonight?” he pouted in a child-like manner causing her to let out an involuntary laugh before heading to the bathroom to get ready for whatever scheme he came up with.
***
“A club? Seriously?”
The look of confusion on her face as they pulled at the dancing spot was quite hurtful to him.
“I didn’t even know you could dance.”
“Ouch! Y/n!”
“What?!” she scoffed, “It’s your fault. You never showed that skill.”
“Well here’s a show for your entertainment. Go ahead and enjoy me, making a fool out of myself just to celebrate your bday.”
Jason grabbed her hand, sent a knowing look to the bouncer that just let them pass without any questions and dragged her inside.
“Wait… wait, what is going on here? You know the bouncer at the club? Jason? Jason?! The actual hell- ah!”
The lights went out, she felt his hand slipping from hers and for a second that felt like eternity she was completely alone in the dark.
“Y/N?!” his voice reached her ears though she had no idea where it was coming from and the slight panic started to creep inside. A feeling multiplied when she heard ruffling and some whispers of people who were closing in on her
“Jason?! Where are you!?” Y/N started spinning in the dark, searching for anything solid that would help her cover from whatever danger might be lurking in the dark. “ah!” Her wish became granted sooner than expected when she collided with something hard and out of sheer instinct started punching and hitting the surface.
“Hey! Hey, relax! Relax! It’s me! It’s me, princess.” Familiar touch of hands intensified on hers stopping her from fighting the person that was in fact her only salvation and protection. “It’s me, you’re safe” he pulled her closer, offering comfort and calm.
“What-what happened?” she stuttered “Why did the lights-“
“SURPRISE!”
Before she made her sentence the candles and lights garland got lit and she was greeted with friends and family members standing behind the lavishly set table with a birthday cake smiling and cheering.
“You asshole!” Y/N turned to Jason, resuming to punch and hit him, only that now she could see him and her movements were far more accurate and effective “I could have had a heart attack!”
“Stop it!” Jason laughed, pretending to be scared, grabbing her waist and spinning her in her air, before putting her down and kissing her passionately, not caring about the onlookers of their guests. “Happy birthday.” He muttered against her lips.
“You’re a jerk, you know it?” she responded in a whisper before grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him again, not giving a shit who was looking likewise.
***
“You want to sneak out of here?”
After two hours of celebration, dancing, laughing and stuffing mouths with delicious food, Jason walked to her from behind offering a getaway from everyone. His warm breath followed by a gentle kiss on that soft spot between her neck and shoulder was supposed to convince her, but she was still mad about the trap he set for her.
“Mh. Dunno. You went to such a great length to bring me here and now you want me to leave?” She teased, though her tone was not matched by the action when she tilted head to give him more access to her skin and allowed his hands to wrap around her waist.
“Mhm. Yes. Exactly. Leave with me.” Jason muttered against her skin.
“You're scared you won’t find the way back home?” she smirked and the grip on her body tightened.
“Not If my home stays here….”
“Oh no!” Y/N’s joyful laughter filled the air “Cliché! And cheesy and –“
“You done?” he frowned, not liking the way she was mocking him while he was pouring his heart out.
“Nope. Don’t think so. I can go like this for hours.”
“Y/N—” he growled in a warning she was pushing him to the limits.
“But I suppose if I can do it here, I can also do it when we’re alone-“
“Oh so now you want to be alone with me only to mock me?”
“Mhm.” She grinned. “So what do you say, big boy? Shall we take a French leave?”
“And walk out silently?” Jason grinned and she did not like it at all. “Over my dead body. Again.”
Without warning he lifted her up in the air, and with the most commotion he could cause, carried her away, followed by the cried out wishes of happy birthday and all the best.
He was such a drama queen.
***
“That was fun.” She pointed out when they got back to their little flat
“Only a beginning princess. I haven’t really given you your present yet.” Jason made sure to lock the door, stepping closer to his girlfriend and immediately pulling her closer, caressing her back and kissing her neck.
“You think you know what I want, huh?” She giggled when his lips started to tickle her skin.
“Got you figured all over baby… Know all your soft spots.”
He descended to her collarbone, bending her backwards a little to make it easier. The position forced her to place hands on his shoulders for purchase.
“Are you saying I became so boring and predictable to you?” she teased not stopping him walking her backwards to the bed
“Boring?” he gave her a look over, before sliding her dress upwards, tracing over the exposed thigh “not at all.” Her dress hit the floor, removed overhead. “Predictable? Maybe…”
“Asshole…” soft sight left her lips before getting silenced by another passionate kiss.
“You know I know what you want…”
“Prove it.” Y/N did not waste a second sliding his shirt off too. Once done, she plopped on the bed, facing the ceiling and waiting for his move “Prove you really do know what I want.”
Jason smirked and laid on the bed next to her.
He knew.
He knew better than she wanted to give him credit for.
And that was exactly the reason why at the moment his fingers were running up and down her exposed belly, but never crossing the barrier of her white, innocent panties or bra.
The reason why he did not tear his and her underwear and surrender to passion.
An argument for not going straight into sex.
So many people were confusing intimacy with sex. Simplifying it. While the real connection went far beyond body-to-body contact and carnal pleasure.
Real intimacy did not mean being bare as in shedding the clothes, but exposing oneself emotionally.
And he knew.
They’ve been growing apart for so long and the best gift he could give her was his presence next to her.
Y/N smiled rolling on her side to look into his eyes, their bodies close but never really touching as if the exchanged looks and interlaced fingers were far more valuable.
“How do you like your present?” he smiled softly, playing with her fingers, voice filled with warmth and purest form of affection.
“You really did know.”
“Told you I got you figured. And it’s not really a bad thing now, is it?”
“No. No it’s not. And hey I just figured something –“
“Hm? And what may that sudden discovery be? You missed me perhaps? Or – “ he made a dramatic pause – “don’t tell me you got feelings for me! Ugh! Y/N! Disgusting!” 
She laughed.
“Feelings? No way! And how could you dare believe I might have missed your horrible attitude and character!? Are you trying to offend me?!”
“Always.”
“Perhaps I should also thank you for keeping me in check and making sure I don’t become conceited?”
“Happy birthday” he shrugged, pulling her to his chest ruffling her hair on purpose. “And don’t think I love you or something.” The last remark was followed by the kiss on her forehead.
“Me neither, Jason. Me neither-”
It seemed like they got each other figured out after all.
And maybe it was their way of healing and coming together once again.
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shycloudkitty · 9 months
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His Sweetest Escape
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Summary: Leon returned from a mission. Safe but exhausted and traumatized as hell. He doesn't want to drown in the suffocating thoughts of survivor's guilt. He wants an escape. And you were always his sweetest escape.
Pairing: RE6 Leon Kennedy! × Fem! Reader 
Tags: (NSFW 18+), MDNI, FWB relationship, Angst at first, talking about Leon's trauma (necessary for the plot), Oral (f receiving!), Cunnilingus, fingering, sitting on Leon's face, nipple play, Leon being a tease. A bit ooc? Probably. 
A/N: Hello Guys!!! My FIRST smut fic is here🤭. Yes I know…FWB again, but I just really wanted to write a smut fic with that trope😭. Also I am very serious about minors not interacting with this post. Please don't.
(Edit) : This can be considered a sort of rough prequel to Just a little touch. Cause for a prequel I have something else cooking up🤭
Hope you enjoy this and have a good day!! 😊😊
A huge thanks to @elfven-blog and @luniaxi for helping me a lot. A little birthday (belated) present to @nexysworld 🥰
Dividers by: @/cafekitsune
WC: 5.6K
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Another mission. Another horde of zombies and tyrants. And dozens and dozens of lives that he wasn't able to save in time. But it was a successful mission or at least that's what he was told by his superiors. 
Leon tiredly pushed open the door to his apartment and deeply sighed as he slowly entered and closed the door behind him. 
It is said that a home perfectly reflects people's personalities. The things there give bits of how a person lives and wants to live, their likes and dislikes and much more. 
And his cold and empty apartment gave a perfect reflection on who he was. The furniture was there, furnished of course. But that was it. No decorations or signs of someone living there. And that's how he felt he was. A person who had all the features of a normal person but cold and empty on the inside. 
But then again he never found a home. This was just a place to live in. 
Leon found a whiskey bottle from the liquor cabinet and dropped to the couch, groaning as he sat down after a long time feeling his injuries stretch uncomfortably making him wince. Leaning his head back and staring at the empty ceiling, flashbacks of the mission running wild in his mind. Taking a big swig of his whiskey to numb it. Trying to forget everything about that God forsaken assignment. 
Leon kept drinking and drinking till he started to feel a bit numb to it and sighed tiredly to himself and pushed the bottle aside. Allowing himself to get a bit lost in his thoughts and closed his eyes. 
He was so fucking tired of all this fighting, fighting it to no fucking end and never seeing the ray of hope that all of this shit would end one day. Instead it only got worse. And he fucking hated it. 
His survivor's guilt continued to eat at him slowly and bit by bit on his consciousness, till he felt suffocated by it. 
He opened his eyes, taking a deep breath and groaned in frustration. The fuck was wrong with him? Actually don't answer that, he already knows. 
He took a deep breath to calm himself. Closing his eyes and taking small deep breaths. 
Leon shook his head to himself and sighed again. This wasn't going to go away anytime soon. And he really didn't want to wallow and drown in the guilt or he was sure it would kill him more than it already had. He wanted an escape. 
A sweet escape that always made him forget about the hellish missions and the guilt that comes with it. 
He opened his phone and searched for your contact and pressed the call button. Bringing the phone to his ear as it rang. 
For some reason he felt a bit guilty for only calling you for these things, which was weird because it has always been like this between you both… and neither of you minded it before. 
Maybe he needs this more than he thought. 
“Hey handsome” Your sweet voice rang in his ear from the other side of the call making his mood a bit better. 
He cleared his throat and said “Hey… Doing anything right now?” Trying not to sound too desperate for her and playing it cool. 
“Sort of… But… I can be free if you want~” trying to tease him a little bit. 
A small smile bloomed on his face when he heard that and teasingly replied. “You will make time for me huh? That's sweet.” 
You chuckle and tease him back. “Oh you know… I could never say no to you…or a good time.”
Your teasing words made Leon smile a bit more. Knowing you could always tease him a little and get away with it and he wouldn't mind it even once cause he loved the tease. 
Leon then says. “Then be free and come here.”
“Uff… So bossy. Can't add a ‘please’ in your sentence?” You asked in a playful way. 
“One more comment out of your smart mouth and I will come to your apartment to show you how bossy I can actually be.” Voice getting sultry as he teased you. 
It's not like it will be the first time he bossed a sweet thing like you around… always so eager to please him, following the orders he used to give you while you were a moaning & whimpering mess but oh, so ready to do them… just for him. 
How could he not feel like a God when you were always ready to be his devoted worshiper. 
There was a beat of silence, and Leon smirked knowing that teasing worked perfectly in making you flustered. 
He took the opportunity and said “Hmm… that's what I thought, now come here…please” emphasizing the word please more on purpose. 
You lightly huff over the phone. “You know you are making a lot of promises.” your voice was clearly flustered even if you tried to hide it. 
“Cause I can keep ‘em. I don't make empty promises and you know that…” His voice lowered. He knew how much he had an effect on you, and he couldn't help but use it to his advantage. 
Leon waited for a response. 
“...I do.” your voice came out more breathy than he expected. 
“Good girl… now come soon. I am waiting.”
He cut the call and tossed his phone aside, taking a deep breath. He wasn't going to lie to himself, he got plenty worked up from just one call and it was probably less than a minute. 
You were a damn vixen and he loved it. 
Now that you were most certainly coming over, he could at least take a shower. He got up from the couch with a groan and stretched his arms a bit and made his way to his bathroom. 
Removing his gear and soiled work clothes, he got in the shower and turned it on. Letting the water slowly wash the grime and dried blood away along with the horrible memories of the mission. 
Instead he focused his thoughts on you. He let his mind slowly fill with the sweet memories of you. Your soft red lips against his… They tasted like candy, sometimes cherry but always something sweet. 
And he especially loved when your pretty lips were wrapped around his cock…slowly taking him in and looking up at him with those greedy eyes all your senses focused on him to pleasure him. 
How could he not want a sweet thing like you around forever? 
But he wouldn't admit that out loud. 
Leon could feel himself get more worked up as he felt more images fill up in his head and groaned quietly.
He huffed lightly, and quickly finished his shower and got out of it. Moving towards his wardrobe and wearing his sweatpants and one of his casual blue t-shirt. And decided to wait till you arrived. 
15 mins later his doorbell rang and he grinned at the thought that it was you. And quickly walked towards the door and opened it. 
And there you were, a smile on your face and a soft blush on your cheeks. Wearing a white crop top and blue jeans to pair it up with and he couldn't help but smirk at the sight. He bit his lip lightly and teasingly said. “You came huh?”
You rolled your eyes and smiled playfully at his words. “You called.” your voice being equally teasing. 
He grinned and let you inside his apartment and closed the door behind you. 
“When did you come back from your mission?” You asked as you went over and sat on the couch and looked at him. 
“Today actually…” Leon said as he came over and sat beside you. You raised an eyebrow and said. “Today... Like..Just now?” 
Leon nodded and shrugged lightly and looked at you. “Yeah. Why?”
Your eyes widened and said. “Wow… aren't you tired and sleepy as hell?”
Leon chuckled and shrugged. “No, not really.”
Well to be fair he was exhausted but that's why you were here… to take it all away. 
You frowned slightly not believing his words. After all, he was gone for a considerably long time. You then slowly ask. “Are you sure?”
Leon just chuckled and teasingly replied with a smirk. “Don't worry your pretty little head about it… Although I am flattered that you care that much about my health.”
While he was grateful that you were concerned for him, he didn't want to talk about it. He would rather focus on you and get lost in you than talk about his awful work. 
You roll your eyes and smirk at him and playfully reply. “Please… I am only asking because I don't think you will be able to last if you just came back home tired as hell.” 
You knew what you were doing, but again a little friendly fire never hurts anyone. And in this, you don't care if it hurts you. 
Leon looks at you in amusement and scoffs lightly, shifting closer to you as his voice lowered. “You think I wouldn't be able to last long hmm?” Slowly bringing his hand to your thigh and caressing it gently while looking in your eyes. 
You bite your lip and slowly say. “You heard what I said… Did I hit the nail with that?” 
No, but you did hurt his ego. And he was going to prove exactly how wrong you are. All in the name of friendly fire. 
Leon started to gently run his fingers to your inner thighs and rub teasing circles there. His hand inching closer and closer... but never touching you where you really wanted him to. 
His lips curve in a smirk and biting his lip lightly. “You really think that huh...” his hot breath hitting your neck. His gaze falling on your lips, on how you are slowly biting them. 
Your face grows flushed and goosebumps rise on your skin as he… slowly moves his free hand on your other thigh and does the same thing there. His smirk grows wider when he feels you squirming a bit. 
Everything around you feels so much hotter now… his touch, his eyes shamelessly tracing every inch of your soft body. 
Leon watched as you cleared your throat and looked away from him. “Not really… I was just joking, you know.” 
Leon smirked some more and teasingly repeated your words. “Just joking hmm?”
Your breath hitches when Leon presses his lips on your neck and presses feather light kisses on it while gently nibbling on it too. You tilt your head back giving him better access, eyes fluttering shut as his teeth lightly scrape your skin.
Your perfume slowly fills his senses and makes his mind hazy with lust. You smelled so fucking good to him. All this teasing was doing a number on him. So much so that now all he wanted to do was to fuck you dumb against this couch and still keep going. 
He gently bites your earlobe and mumbles. “Can't have you making jokes everywhere on serious matters baby…”
You gasp as he suddenly spreads your thighs apart, settling himself between them. His bites on your neck get a bit more harsher as his hands start sliding to your ass. Gripping them tightly and bringing you close, pressing you against the couch and him.
He then whispers. “Can't have a sweet thing like you leaving my bed thinking my cock wasn't good enough for your pussy…”
You squirmed in his grip as his words shoot straight at your core. His touch felt as if it was burning right through your skin. You opened your mouth to say something and a small whimper escaped your lips as he bit down on a much sensitive part of your neck. 
“Oh Leon…” You mumbled and looked at him. And he quickly sealed your lips with a kiss and mumbles against your lips. “I know baby, You love that cock don't you? Love how good it feels when it ruins your little cunt.” 
A small mewl left your mouth as two of his fingers reached your center, sliding them up and down on your clothed cunt giving you the stimulation you were craving. 
Leon smirked at your little sounds and snakes his other hand under your crop top, slowly groping your right breast in his hand. And tauntingly says. “Yeah…Feels good when I give that cunt a bit of attention, Doesn't it? Already squirming under my fingers and I haven't even started.” 
Your body grew hotter as his fingers started to rub small circles over your cunt and now groping your breasts a bit harshly now. You can feel your panties getting wet from his teasing and lean more into his fingers to search for that friction. You whine and pout at him. “Leon…Stop teasing.”
He bites your earlobe. “You try to tell me what I should…And teasing you will be all I do tonight.” You pouted him in response and he just gave you a teasing grin.
As he says that he pinches one of your nipples making you jolt in surprise. You whine as he continues to pinch and roll it teasingly between his fingers drawing a needy moan from you. 
He then pulls away slightly and starts to unbutton your jeans and kisses you. He lightly tugs at your lower lip, giving you a pleasant shiver down your spine. Removing your jeans he cups your ass and drags it a bit closer for him to see. Smirking at the wet spot on your cute lacy panties. 
Soft moans and whimpers fall off your lips as he presses his thumb on your clit over the thin layer of the fabric and rubs slow teasing circles. 
His free hand makes its way to your chest and eagerly lifts your crop top and tugs your bra down to free your breasts. And latches his mouth to one of them and eagerly starts to suck on them, not even bothering to fully remove it.
He then starts to slowly suck on your nipples taking his sweet time with it while still paying attention to your cunt. His eyes are shut as if he was concentrating on the world's most important task ever. Your moans started to get louder and more whiny, and feel the flimsy fabric of your panties sticking to your folds by now.
He suddenly pinches your clit at the same time he gives a harsh tug at your nipple. Your body twitches from the sensation and you whine louder than before. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you gasped for breaths.
You looked down to see his face and whined to him. “Leon, I want more…please.” Your voice was more breathy than before. You gave him a pout and looked at him with those same needy eyes which he usually gave into.
He feels so proud for having you this way, seeing how quickly you used to melt for him and gave him the control he was so desperately craving without any resistance. And he loved it every single time. Seeing your red pouty lips, eyes filled with lust, messed up hair, flushed face, it made his heart skip a few beats every time… He could always get lost in your beauty and he wouldn't have it any other way.
Leon presses a kiss at your temple and drops another at your shoulder. And smirks and in a taunting tone whispers. “We just started baby, Already can't last hmm?”
Ass. That's what he was. An ass for using your words against you. 
He then pulls back and you whine at the loss of his touch. Panting softly, your skin feeling as if it was burning under his hot gaze. You look up at him and he wasn't any better but he had a better control on it. 
He grins and kisses you softly on the lips to make up for the teasing and softly asks “Want to move this to the bedroom?” You nod and kiss him back. Wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him close. 
You both kiss each other softly and he slowly removes the rest of your clothes and lifts you up in his arms and slowly stands up. You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. Your hands gripping his shoulders and continue to kiss him softly while he makes his way to his bedroom. 
He places his hands on your hips to hold you and never breaks the kiss even once. If anything he pulls you more close and deepens the kisses. He opens his bedroom door and slowly lays you down on bed and pulls away a bit and smiles at you and softly whispers. “Want more?”
You nod and he leans in close and deepens the kiss. Gently caressing your body all over, his hands kneading the soft plush fat of your thighs and hips. Tongue exploring your mouth sensually while kissing you. Both of your eyes closed while enjoying the sensual kisses and touches. This was much calmer than what you both were doing earlier but still very sensual to keep you both going. 
“Feeling better?” He mumbles against your lips. 
You chuckle softly and in a teasing tone reply. “I would feel much better when you actually start.” 
You feel a deep rumble from his chest as he laughs softly at that and shakes his head lightly. His voice takes a quick change from soft to sweetly seductive and whispers. “Fucking insatiable…Love it. Who could tell that a cutie like you was such a slut inside. But you are not gonna hear any complaints from me.”
Your cheeks burn red from his words as he now starts to kiss your neck and collarbone. A moan slipped from your mouth when he pressed himself forward and his boner made contact with your sensitive clit, letting you feel how much he was turned on right now. The cloth of his sweatpants gave enough friction to feel amazing as you started to grind against him, wanting to continue where he left off. 
Soft grunts slipped from his mouth as he felt you eagerly rub your pussy against him. A rough chuckle leaves his lips and he mumbles. “Patience baby…” and moves his hips away to stop it, pulling a whine from your mouth from frustration. 
He brings your lips in a deep kiss which you were more than happy to respond to. His hands found their way back to your chest to your breasts. Groping and massaging them and giving light tugs at your nipple which made your body twitch in excitement. 
He then tugged your lower lip, gave a harsh bite to it and tweaked your nipple lightly. He continues this motion of torturing you like this. While you lay there under him writhing and moaning for him. “Leon… I can't take it… please..”
The little piece of shit just laughs and tweaks your nipples once more making you whimper for him. And in a taunting tone says. “Oh yeah? You can't take it hmm? Too damn bad…”
You feel him rubbing those little buds under his thumb sometimes rolling it between his fingers while basically tongue fucking your mouth. You whimper, whine and even try to push him off but if anything that encourages him to do more of that. 
Soon you feel that invisible band in your stomach stretching and stretching… just waiting to snap. And Leon notices it, the way your body starts shivering and your moans get louder. He then leans in to whisper. “Gonna cum baby?”
You nod and look at him with a pout. “Please…” He just smirks and keeps doing what he was doing. Your body twitches and holds onto his shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut. You are just so close… Right… there. 
And he pulls away. 
Your eyes immediately shoot open. “Nooo!” A loud whine leaves your lips and look up at him with a frustrated expression. 
How could he do this to you? Such a fucking tease? And you were so fucking close and he just had to pull away and ruin it. 
He had a big shit eating grin on his face but he wasn't faring any better than you were. His shirt was clinging to his body, face flushed red and his hair messed up. And the way you can see his dick bulging in his pants proved he was just as pent up as you. 
He was just teasing both of you to hell. Asshole. 
You gave a pout as the tears from frustration started to brim in your eyes. “You are so mean…” 
Leon smiles as he leans down closer to you and softly coos to you. “Aww… is my baby angry at me?”
You nod and continue to pout at him. Leon smiles and takes your face in his hands. And kisses you gently on your soft lips. You don't kiss him back at first but you hear his soft whispers to forgive him for teasing you so much. “Please baby… forgive me? I swear I wouldn't tease you now… Kiss me back?”
And you really wanted to stay mad at him but… you couldn't do that for much long. 
How could you when he looked at you with those blue lust blown eyes and gave you soft kisses across your face to make you forgive him? 
You then slowly kissed him back and he was more than happy to oblige. Kissing you softly, taking his time to ease you and then he says. “Ride my face? I promise I will let you cum this time..”
Your face went red and your eyes widened and mumbled against his lips. “Really? Are you sure you want me to do that?”
You feel him nod, lightly tugging at your lower lip and say. “Of course…Want that pretty pussy of yours on my face.”
It's not like this was your first time riding his face either...
Your face goes red but you are more excited than embarrassed. You nod and kiss him back with more fervor. “Okay… I will.”
He pulls away and finally removes his clothes. Removing his sweatpants and freeing his cock from it. Groaning softly as his cock slaps against his stomach. Precum leaking from his cock. Spreading it with his thumb from his tip to the rest and lightly strokes himself. Hissing at how sensitive his cock was from all that teasing. 
Your mouth waters at the sight of him naked. His body was littered with scars but that only made him more alluring at this moment. You just wanted to kiss and nibble on each scar till he was red from all the hickeys. It always took your breath away when you watched him like this. 
You lick your lips and come closer to him and give him your most innocent doe eyes and make your voice as seductive as possible. “Can I taste you?”
Leon feels his cock twitch at the request and lightly bites his lips. He was really really tempted to take you up on that offer but he had other plans… 
He tilts your chin up and says. “Look at you… so eager for this cock hmm? Already want to wrap your pretty lips on it.”
You feel yourself getting more slicked from his words and eagerly nod. “Yes…please, want to suck your cock so bad…”
Leon smirks and gives a teasing kiss on your lips. “Some other time baby, want you to ride my face today.”
Your face flushes deep red and nod. “Okay…”
He grins and lays back down on bed adjusting himself with pillows under his head and motions for you to come up. 
You bite your lip and slowly crawl over to him. Slowly bringing your thighs on either side of his head, hands grasping at the headboard as you position yourself over his face. 
A loud groan leaves his lips as his eyes locks down at your drenched cunt. He licks his lips and feels his mouth water, he immediately grasps your hips and thighs and positions your cunt in front of his hungry mouth. 
You gasp softly as you feel him suddenly shift you more and look down at how hungrily he was looking at you. 
Leon moves his hands to your ass and squeezes it gently. And looks at you. “Come on baby sit. And don't hover, don't want to waste a drop of you”  His words make your stomach flip. Your heart thundering in your chest as you try to come up with something to say but feel your words stuck in your throat. 
You bite your lips and follow his words. And slowly sit down on his face and the moan he let's out when his tongue makes contact with your clit was downright pathetic. He immediately tightens his grip around your thighs and your ass, closing his eyes and lapping at your cunt happily. 
You moan softly as you feel his tongue give you lazy, slow licks from your labia to your clit. Taking his time with it, slowly tasting through your folds. Swirling his tongue around your already sensitive clit giving it occasional tugs with his teeth.
Your body twitches above him as your moans turn into cries of pleasure. Trying to move away from his face but he grunts and grabs your ass and pulls you back in. Giving your ass a light spank, “Don't move…” 
You squeal and close your eyes as you focus on his tongue, trying not to move that much. Biting your lip, one of your hands makes into his hair. He groans at the feeling of your fingers lightly threading through his hair. And pushes his tongue inside your sopping hole, slowly fucking you with it. 
He moans when he feels your juices on his tongue. You always tasted like a fucking heaven to him. He could stay between your thighs all day if he could. Drinking what you had to give to him while hearing sweet chorus of whines and moans as they left your mouth, his own favorite music to listen to when he came back home from those fucked up missions. 
You were his personal haven, letting him have you like this, he felt the luckiest man in the world. Feeling you tug his hair, squirming on his mouth and still riding his mouth like it was your last day on earth. He fucking loved it. He could get off on having you just like this. 
Your thighs squeeze around his head and tug at his hair a bit harder than necessary pulling a groan out of him. It only encouraged him to fuck his tongue into you faster. You squealed a bit as lifted you up a bit only to feel two of his fingers enter your cunt drawing a long moan out of you. Slowly sliding in and out of you, your wet walls eagerly sucking him back in. 
A loud groan leaves your lips when he starts to suck on your clit too. “Oh fuck…Leon!” Hips moving on its own, as he continues to finger you and tug at your clit. Curling his fingers inside and moving them against the spot which always made you see stars. Your body twitches and eyes roll in the back of your head as he moves his fingers faster. 
His fingers constantly assaulting that sweet spot within you, sometimes slowing them down to hear your pretty whines of protest and suddenly increasing the pace just to fuck with you. Feeling your thighs squeeze around his head tightly drawing a loud groan from him, the vibrations going straight to your core and giving you an instant jolt of pleasure. 
All the teasing slowly piled up and you felt that familiar band in your core just waiting to snap at any moment. You clenched tightly around his fingers. He hummed in satisfaction as he felt you do that, removing his fingers and pushing his tongue inside, wanting you to cum on his tongue instead.
He held your hips tightly to support you and let you ride his face as much as you wanted. Both of your hands going down to his hair, tugging at it while riding his face at your pace. Your clit constantly bumping against his nose making you a moaning mess above him. “Fuckkkk… Leon… feels so good… Just like that! Fuck! Yes!”
His eyes roll in the back of his head as he feels the stinging pain as you tug at his hair. Loving the pain and pleasure that came with it. One of his hands goes down to his cock and stroking himself in time with the pace that you set. Feeling himself getting closer and closer as you both kept going. 
He felt he could burst at any moment just from hearing the lewd noises you both were making. And he wouldn't have it any other way.
You open your eyes, your gaze drifting to the sight of him between your legs. And it instantly brought you closer to the edge than ever. His eyes were screwed shut, focused on giving you the high you were so eagerly chasing. His grip on your ass was tight enough to leave bruises, not that you cared.
You loved seeing his marks on your body anyway. 
“M’ gonna cum… so close…” you whined as you looked down at him. His eyes opened to look at the heavenly sight of you writhing above him and smirked. 
He winked at you and moved his tongue faster inside you and gave you a sudden spank from the hand that was already gripping you while he stroked himself with the other. 
You whine from the spank and feel that band inside you finally snap “Leon!”. He soon comes after you with a loud groan and hisses as ropes of thick hot cum fall on his thighs and abs. 
Your body twitches and shakes when the euphoria flows through your body. You felt so lightweight, feeling like you could drop at any moment. Leon gently grasped your waist with one hand and the other on your thigh, slowly helping you ride through your high. And eagerly drank up every drop. Humming softly in satisfaction. 
You whined softly still feeling his tongue swirl around your clit. You tried to get off of him whining softly in protest and he gently lowered you down in bed. His chin was soaked with your release as he wiped it away with the back of his hand. 
He brought you close to him, pressing you against him and giving soft kisses on your forehead and cheeks. Both of you were breathing heavily in each other's arms. His soft kisses act as a soothing balm to your tired body. 
You gently caressed his hair and face in return as he started to pepper kisses along your collarbone now. “Feeling good?” Leon's soft voice entered your dazed mind. You smiled lazily at him and sighed softly. “I feel amazing…”
Leon chuckled and gave a soft kiss to your crown and pulled you closer. “Good…I would be disappointed otherwise.”
You chuckled and teasingly say. “In me or yourself?” He snickered and replied “You of course. I am amazing at what I do.”
You raise an eyebrow at him and say. “And I am not?” Leon smirked and bit your earlobe playfully. “That’s up for debate…”
You scoffed, giving him an offended look at him and narrowed your eyes at him “Excuse me?”
Leon had to bite back a chuckle as he saw you trying to be serious, and he could tell that you weren't serious either. Seeing your smile threatening to take over your face.
You huff when you saw a chuckle slipping from him. “You are laughing at me aren't you?” Still keeping your eyes narrowed at him. 
Leon cleared his throat, trying his best to be serious. “No, I would never laugh at you.” 
You rolled your eyes at him and said. “Liar.” 
Leon chuckled, shaking his head in amusement and playfully whispered. “You look cute when you are angry.”
Your eyes widened at his words and looked away from him to hide your blushing face from his comment “Whatever.”
Leon chuckled. “Uh huh… What is this then?” Poking at your red cheeks. 
You pouted at him and huffed. “Nothing okay? Just shut up.”
Leon’s snickered and a mischievous grin spread on his face. “You want me to shut up? Sit on my face again and then I will think.”
Leon's smirk widened as he saw your face flush red and looking away from him, squirming slightly as you thought about doing it again. Leon squished your cheeks and turned your face back towards him and looked at you with a smug face. 
“You want to sit on my face again don't you?” A knowing smug smile on his face. 
Your face turned beet red as you felt yourself heat up again from his words and slowly nodded. 
Leon smirked and started to kiss your neck all over again and mumbled. “So...fucking...insatiable.”
This was sure as hell gonna be a long night for both of you. But none of you had any complaints. 
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God. It's done. Oh my god. FINALLY. I honestly didn't expect this to take so much of my time but it surprisingly did. I guess it did cause it's my first time writing smut rather than consuming it lol.
Anyways... I hope you liked this fic. Hope it made your day!!🥰😊.
Until next time 😊❤
-Bella
436 notes · View notes
beomboomboom · 6 months
Text
Carrying your Love
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genre: fluff, fwb to lovers, drunken confession
pairing: Wonwoo x reader
summary: What's harder, carrying a drunk Wonwoo home, or carrying your love for him that you know he'll never reciprocate (or will he?).
warnings: mentions of drinking and alcohol, a little bit of swearing, mentions of sex, suggestive
note: Not me staying up until 2 am to finish this fic- 😭. This fic is part of an ask for drunken confession fics. Enjoy reading <33
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Wonwoo has carried you more times than you can count.
From carrying you because you complained about your feet being tired, to carrying you to the bedroom after seeing you in a tight fitting dress that made his mind go into shambles.
But you never would've expected the roles to be switched.
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"Wonwoo," You mutter, only to let out a groan in disappointment when you realize he's completely knocked out. "C'mon, wake up please. I don't want to have to drag you all the way to your house."
Wonwoo had asked you to go with him to Mingyu's birthday party. But you, knowing how most of his parties ended in everyone completely wasted, opted out because of your doctors appointment the next day.
Plus, you knew how getting drunk with Wonwoo at a party would often end in fucking in the bedroom, and to say your feelings about that have been complicated as of late would be an understatement. Yes, at first getting to release all your sexual desires while also having a friend seemed like a win-win situation. But you couldn't tell why you wanted to be more than that now, more than friends who fuck.
Ironically, you ended up going to Mingyu's party anyway. Not to party, but to bring Wonwoo's drunk ass home.
"Wonwoo," you repeat while shaking his shoulders, trying to wake him up so that he could walk on his own. "Wonwoo, wake up."
Sighing, you admit defeat and begin to hoist Wonwoo's legs around your waist so that you could piggyback him.
And no amount of weightlifting and going to the gym could have prepared you for the moment you started walking with a 139-pound man on your back. With each step you took, it felt like it would be your last.
But somehow, you miraculously made it to Wonwoo's house. Panting and breathless, but alive nonetheless.
"You better repay me for that," you mutter in between gasps of air as you drop Wonwoo onto his couch.
As you're grabbing a drink of water in the kitchen, you can hear Wonwoo as he slowly stirs awake. "ugh...," you hear him groan from the kitchen.
"Do you want me to take you to your room?" You ask, concerned when you see Wonwoo try to stand up, only to fall back on his butt.
Replying in a quiet nod, you go over to Wonwoo's side to help him. As you wrap his arms around your neck and piggyback Wonwoo once again, you can't help but notice how intimate the whole thing feels.
Wonwoo's chest pressed right against your back, his head resting on your shoulder, the small breaths he lets out as you enter his room. Suddenly, you feel Wonwoo lift his head from your shoulder to whisper in your ear. "I...I think I love you."
Shocked, you freeze in place. But something about stopping seems to cause your limbs to lose their strength, and before you know it Wonwoo is on the floor and groaning in pain.
"Ohmygosh, I'm so sorry Wonwoo. I was just so shocked-," You ramble, panicked as you try to make sure Wonwoo isn't hurt at all. "I really didn't mean-" You start to ramble again, before being interrupted by Wonwoo's soft lips on yours.
"It's okay, let's just go to bed. My head hurts so much," Wonwoo says as he tries to stand up, only to fall again on his butt.
"Here let me help you," you offer as you help Wonwoo stand up before leading him to his bed. Tucking him in, you let out a fond smile and give him a peck on the forehead. "Let's talk about your confession tomorrow when you're sober, okay?"
As you turn to leave you feel an arm shoot out to tug you back to the bed.
"Stay. Stay with me tonight."
398 notes · View notes
sukirichi · 4 months
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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 009 ]
“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”
c/w. 18+. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. very suggestive. toxic relationships. unedited. kiyoomi is horny. and uh suna too
notes. we are in kiyoomi arccc whewww, also i think i mentioned the word balls like three times. anyways.
wc. 10.8k
series masterlist 
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[ NINE ] i know a place, it’s somewhere I go when I need to remember your face. we get married in our heads, something to do while we try to recall how we met
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You were still reeling from your shock by the time your Mother showed up beside you. She must have noticed the quite interesting crowd of the royals and their parents, and couldn’t wait to indulge in the drama. A nosy creature, your mother was, but her presence comforted you. You had heard about it before – the tradition of having your last dance on your debutante ball would be your destined lover. Your mother would know; your father was her last dance. But you couldn’t remember it clearly, not when your only memory of your debut ball was the sinking dread of coming out into society and having to be removed from the comfort of your bedroom.
“My last dance,” you mused, plastering an apologetic smile as you turned to the older Prince. “Forgive me, Your Highness. I hadn’t known it was you.”
“As I’ve mentioned, I am the Forgotten Prince.”
Kanami ignored her son’s remark and clapped her hands. “It was a beautiful last dance as well. In fact, I’m certain your Mother remembers it.”
“I do! Oh, Princess, Miss Sakusa is right. I still remember that first time you danced with one of the Princes! It was magical!”
“It must be,” quipped Suna, who possessively wrapped an arm around your waist. He was close enough you could feel his breath on the nape of your neck, and even without looking at him, you could tell he was glaring at his brother.  “Kiyoomi is a fantastic dancer. But tradition aside, fate sure has a funny way of working out because I wasn’t her last dance, yet she married me. I am a lucky Prince for that.”
“You weren’t even at her debut ball,” mumbled the Second Prince, causing your eyes to nearly pop out your head.
You knew it was rare for royals to attend the birthday balls of even noble families, but finding out that your husband hadn’t danced with you on your special night was a different kind of hurt.
“The Crown Prince is a lucky man, indeed,” sighed Kanami dreamily, unaware of the tension between you four – with the brothers ready to tear at each other’s throat, and Iris’ smile slowly transforming into a grimace. An eventful night, indeed. “So, Your Highness, any thoughts on my invitation?”
You didn’t give it a second thought.
“I would love to visit Itachiyama, Kanami.”
“Splendid! Oh, come, come, we have much to talk about!” she stole you away despite your husband’s protests, and soon, you were led away from the crowd. It was all up to your Mother to hold Rintaro back. Glancing back at your husband worriedly, all the worries faded away. Because he wasn’t even looking at you, but rather at Iris, who clutched her head and murmured something while Rintaro fretted over her. The only person who looked at you was Prince Kiyoomi, his handsome face stoic while his mother yapped in your ear.
“You have no idea how happy you’ve made this old woman.”
You turned away from her son’s intense gaze, waving a dismissive hand in the hair. “Please. You are hardly old. I can only hope I look as good as you at that age.”
“Dear, you flatter me too much!”
Smiling at her cuteness, you glanced around the room to look at her again. It seemed like she knew she would be the tonight’s topic, as the Princess’ red lips flattened into a thin line. You almost had the urge to smile wickedly. Almost, if she hadn’t been leaning against your husband for support. You wanted to scoff. She really had the audacity to pretend she was the poor one here – and because of what? Because her mother in law disapproved of her?
She had everything already. She had your husband’s heart, and you couldn’t even keep his attention on you for longer than ten minutes.
The Princess needed to stop acting like a kicked puppy. Otherwise, you would truly give in to the desire to kick her until she whined and cried at your feet.
Gods. Since when had you been so violent?
“As much as I am looking forward to our trip, however, I cannot help but wonder why you seemed… against Princess Iris,” you voiced your thoughts out, feigning innocence. “I am only assuming, of course. I do not mean to say you hold any animosity towards Her Highness.”
“You are not wrong. I do hold some ‘animosity’ towards her,” chuckled the free-mouthed Kanami, almost as if she didn’t care anyone could hear. She was too laid-back for a foreign guest, but you supposed with her wealth and fame, along with the fact she was the biological mother of the Second Prince, her confidence made sense. “I am well aware it is wrong, and I could be gravely punished for speaking ill about the royals, but… I never quite liked her for my son. They were never a great fit.”
“Is it because he is older?”
“Pssh. The age gap hardly matters. He is only three years older. But there is something about Iris… something… off. I mean, I know my place. It is not like I married the King or was promised any security or titles when I birthed his son, but I am still his mother, and surely I have the right to care about his future. That includes who he marries, and quite frankly, I dislike his wife. She seems ingenuine.”
“How so?”
Kanami’s cheeks puckered out. “Well, imagine my shock when my son – who spends most of his time hiding away in his room with his nose buried in a book – suddenly becomes a husband in a fortnight! And to her, no less. It is all too suspicious, I tell you. I have never heard nice things about that girl and her mother.”
“Her mother was an honorable and loyal follower of the Crown. Despite being from Itachiyama, they pledged their lives to the Crown.”
“Which is odd in itself, because Itachiyama is a great country. We are peaceful, and if there are issues within the people, it is resolved immediately. So that whole sham of a story of her mother ‘defecting’ and moving here for a better life sounds unbelievable,” she shook her head, lowering her voice as she hid her lips behind her palm. “And I know her mother. Kate. She has always been ambitious, scarily so.”
“And you know this because…?”
“Because years ago, when His Majesty visited Itachiyama, I was not the one who meant to end up in his bed,” she admitted with a wince, “Kate had always set her sights on greater things. If she couldn’t be his wife, she could be his concubine, at the very least. And oh, His Majesty was smitten with her. She was a wonderful performer, and they shared too many drinks, but… Well, I, myself, am lost on what happened next. The King and I conversed the whole night, and I felt a spark, you know?”
Your head spun with all this information. You always knew the Royal Family Tree was a mess, thanks to the late King’s trysts with multiple women. But hearing about the history of it all caused your head to ache.
“I see. And that night, Kiyoomi was conceived.”
“He was. And Kate never spoke to me again. Next thing I know, I heard she moved to Inarizaki, and I figured she still hadn’t given up on the King. So when my son informed he was now married to Kate’s daughter, I was restless. I am most certain this had to be her doing.”
“Where is she now? Iris’ mother?”
“I don’t know,” she blinked, as if realizing this now, too. “She disappeared one day, and each time I asked Iris how her mother was faring, she’d stop speaking completely.”
“Perhaps she is not on good terms with her mother and is uncomfortable about the topic.”
“Perhaps,” she agreed, and then tilted her head to the side, a smirk on her pretty face. “Is it rude of me to say I wish my son married you instead? I know you are smitten with your Prince, but a mother can hope, can she not?”
The rest of the night, Miss Sakusa terrorized the guests. It was uncanny seeing how different she was to her son, who barely spoke a word. She was bright and lively, lived for sarcasm, and seemed to have a penchant for making Iris uncomfortable. You honestly would’ve felt bad if you didn’t agree to the mean things Kanami said about her. But that aside, you still couldn’t move over the fact that Iris was a huge contrast to Maiko. Maiko and Oikawa’s marriage, you understood. She came from an influential noble family, and so did Tooru. But who was Iris, exactly? How exactly did a citizen from Itachiyama, without a father and a mysterious, greedy mother end up being married to a Prince also in line for the crown?
Could it be that Kanami was right? Did Iris’ mother plan all of this – all to have a spot in the throne? If it was true, then you couldn’t cross out the possibility Iris may have seduced Rintaro when they were teenagers. He was the Crown Prince, for goodness’ sake. There was no quicker ticket to the throne than to have the rightful heir be smitten with you.
All this thinking wasn’t good for the night.
You were supposed to enjoy, and so you stole a glass when a servant passed and down the drink, uncaring if people thought it to be ungraceful for a Princess. It was an intimate gathering, anyway, with only the royal family and some of your closest friends and relatives. Surely they would understand you needed to loosen up.
Breaking free from Kanami, who had now taken her attentions to fixing Kiyoomi’s unruly curls, you watched as your Mother stood in front of the podium. She tapped the bread knife against her class, the clinking sound catching everyone’s attention. When she had them, your mother took a deep breath, searching for you in the crowd as a smile lit up her face.
You stiffened in your seat. Beside you, Rintaro took his place, his hand snaking down to rest on your thigh.
“I would like to thank everyone who graced us with their presence tonight,” your mother began, raising her glass in the air. “And I would like a toast in honor of Her Highness’ marriage, and to the Crown Prince, as well. I wish you both nothing but happiness and may you reign supreme.”
“To the Prince and Princess!” cheered the crowd. Feeling everyone’s eyes on you, you leaned back against Rintaro’s chest and smiled, the perfect image of a couple in love. Rintaro played the part, too, squeezing your thigh and pressing a kiss on the curve of your cheek. You let out a giggle – though it sounded more like a gurgle at the shock. Rintaro chuckled at your reaction, his chest vibrating with the sound.
You couldn’t deal with this anymore.
The night went from perfect to messed up, to you being slapped in the face with reality. You felt bad for yourself for not learning. Just because your husband danced with you, and he’d been perfect the past few days, didn’t mean he wouldn’t run to Iris if given the chance. You’d seen it with your own eyes. How if stuck in a situation where he was forced to choose between the two, he would choose her. And it was pathetic. You had his ring on your finger. You had the burden of his crown and title on your shoulders when all you ever wanted was love. And he couldn’t even give you that. Worse, he meant none of it.
How was it so easy for him to laugh and kiss you like it was the most normal thing in the world when both of you knew deep down he did not want you?
It was becoming unbearable. You needed to leave. Now.
Prying yourself off his grasp, you ducked. “Excuse me.” Rintaro couldn’t get the chance to speak when you darted past him and into the restroom. There, you heard the racing of your heart loud and clear – a song of both yearning and hurt lingering deep in your bones. You couldn’t understand it – not when you glanced at your reflection in the mirror and wondered… why not me? You were beautiful. You were educated. Surely, he must have seen good qualities in you if he chose to court you for two years when there were other more charismatic bachelorettes out there. Or… did he choose you because he knew you were inexperienced? Because you were lonely, shy, and therefore the easiest to manipulate?
The worst part of it all was that he had already made his intentions clear. You knew he loved her. You saw it in his eyes – the way his eyes drooped when he spoke about her, and his voice grew softer. How he yearned for her so badly talking about her hurt. But Maiko had given you false hope, and his sweet gestures didn’t help. This would all be easier if he hurt you, like he had back at your honeymoon, because then at least you would have a greater reason to hate him.
And that was what you wanted, wasn’t it?
To turn all this love into hate.
So letting him go would be easier. Although it never was.
Gripping the edge of the sink, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. Count from one to eight with your eyes closed and focus only on the sensation of your lungs expanding and retracting. Do not think about him, do not think about his kisses, or his hand on your thigh, or how he called you beautiful –
“So this is where you were.”
You raised your head. Rintaro swung the door open, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you inquisitively. You both stared at each other like that for a moment, letting all the unspoken words just hang in the air until he broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, sounding defeated. And this time, it sounded like he meant it.  “You know I don’t wish to lie to your parents like that.”
You shrugged, turning on the faucet and splashing some water on your face. It became harder to breathe when he was around – all handsome and every bit the piece of your greatest desire.
“It’s just another night we have to see the end of.”
“Are you really going to Itachiyama?” he craned his head, eyes narrowed. “I cannot accompany you.”
“I did not ask you to.”
“I know, but,” he tried to argue, crossing the distance in three long strides. Just like the other night at the Palace hallway, his large frame engulfed you, trapping you between him and the sink. With him this close, you could see the unmasked desperation written all over his face. The frustration. “It’s… it’s Kiyoomi. I am uncomfortable knowing you would be spending days with him. Alone, at that. At least take someone with you.”
“My maids are coming.”
“I do not mean the maids.”
“Then who should I bring? His precious wife?” you rolled your eyes, “In case you weren’t aware, she isn’t invited either.”
“She should be…”
You couldn’t stop yourself from planting your palms in his chest, and gave him a shove. Your stupid husband, all lean with muscle, barely budged. It irritated you further. “Oh, come on, Your Highness. Do not act like this inconveniences you. I will be away for days, and so is your lover’s husband. The two people standing in your way will be out of your hair. Shouldn’t you be rejoicing in delight? No better time to frolic around with your lover when your wife and her husband aren’t around.”
Rintaro’s jaw clenched.
“You are saying I should be happy my wife is going on vacation with another man.”
“It sounds to me like you are afraid of your own shadow,” you mocked, and Rintaro flinched back. He hadn’t expected the harsh truth of your words would pierce this deep. “I am not an adulterer, my Prince. It has never once occurred to me to seduce someone else when I am married. Besides, Iris seemed rather relieved at the prospect of having you all by herself for a week,” you reminded him, having seen the Princess’ newfound relief only moments after Kanami had announced you would be having a trip with her son. It made you want to laugh. “You should enjoy, my Prince. You can even fuck in our bedroom.”
Whatever distance he previously put between you disappeared.
Rintaro growled, slamming his chest into yours until there was nothing but your clothes separating you. He shook with fury, and you delighted in it. How you could provoke this reaction from him. And you laughed, or tried to, because all the noises you made got swallowed in your throat when Rintaro grabbed your throat. Not tight enough to choke you, but the pressure served as a warning. Swiping his thumb on your lower lip, Rintaro huffed.
“Every day you test my patience. I think I rather preferred you when you were more malleable.”
“Sounds like you married the wrong person, then,” you spat out, and Rintaro’s dark chuckle reverberated in the empty space of the room.
“Oh, I made no mistake choosing you, that I assure. You are perfect in my eyes, whether you believe it or not,” and sooner than you liked, your husband was off of you again. But he was still close enough that his fingers intertwined with yours, the touch shockingly gentle despite his apparent anger with you. “And because you are my perfect wife, and my Princess, we will go back out there with all smiles and laughter. We are to appear in love. Do you understand?”
You glared up at him defiantly.
“Fuck you, Rintaro.”
Your husband smirked. “Darling, I wish you would.”
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You began packing for your trip to Itachiyama. It wasn’t supposed to be for another three days, since Kanami still had work and wanted to be free by the time you and Kiyoomi arrived, but after everything that happened between you and Rintaro, you were eager to leave. After that dreadful night at the ball where he forced you to hold his hand the entire time, your legs felt uncomfortable with slick.
As shameful as it was to admit, you hadn’t expected your husband’s anger would make you feel things. Sinful things that led you to sneaking your hands down your thighs when you got home. And by the Gods, you bit your lip so hard to not scream his name when he was just in the other room.
Another moment spent with him was just pure torture. So, you were running away.
It wasn’t the bravest thing to do, but you already tried braving it all, only to fail spectacularly. You were still weak around him, and until you managed enough strength to actually pretend you didn’t care about Rintaro, the distance sounded like bliss. Even if your husband eventually supported you in this trip, because ‘he can finally spend more time with Iris.’ Right. You wanted him to be happy about this, but heavens, couldn’t he act a little less eager to have you gone?
You think you would lose it if he truly fucked her in your bed.
“Call me when you get there,” Rintaro’s voice drifted through the wind, and you swallowed. You were now at the airport, and he stood there below the staircase, hands shoved in his pockets. Your heart ached at the sight of him – so handsome with the wind messing up his hair, his cheeks just slighty flushed from the cold, and his lips plump and swollen still from the farewell kiss he gave you. It was all just an act, of course, since there must be some lingering paparazzi, but you still felt him. You could still taste the mint of his toothpaste on your tongue, his strawberry candy lingering at your taste buds.
But of course, he didn’t love you.
You felt the lack of that, too.
“I’ll see you,” was all you said before turning around, already looking inside the plane and spotting Kiyoomi.
He sat on the seat across from you, his eyes closed with music playing in his headphones. He looked so peaceful like this. For once, he wasn’t frowning, and it was then that nervousness settled in you as you awkwardly shifted in your seat. You still weren’t quite too fond of the Second Prince – his dry remarks always baffled you. He always left you wondering if you should laugh it off, or if you should apologize. If not that, his silence itself was completely unsettling. And when he opened his eyes, his body as still as water when he regarded you, you were certain you stopped breathing.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Huh? Oh. Oh, yes. I am.”
The Prince nods, looking outside the window. You did, too, and then regretted it when you caught sight of Iris and Rintaro outside the limos, huddled together for warmth. To other people’s eyes, it would just be two people waving goodbye to their spouses as they left. But you and Kiyoomi knew better.
Wriggling back to make himself more comfortable in his seat, Kiyoomi turned up the volume in his phone. “Well, this is going to be fun.”
You wished you could agree.
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When you woke, you had arrived in Itachiyama. It was only a forty-five minute flight, but you dozed off nonetheless, and when you did, Kiyoomi had already wrapped a blanket around you. You thanked the silent Prince for it, but he made no gesture to say whether he heard you or not. He was a gentleman, at least. Holding your hand as you made your way down the plane, opening the doors for you into his car, and offering you drinks as the driver headed to Kiyoomi’s farmhouse.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with my mother. She can be quite persuasive.”
You looked back at Kiyoomi. You had been staring at all the billboards of Kanami; commercial ads, movie promotions, and the like. It stunned you again how this loud and flashy woman was the mother of a silent, brooding man. Even now, he had himself glued to his seat, adamant to put distance between you both with his arms crossed against his chest. “I was delighted by her invitation,” you tell him, glancing outside the windows again at another huge billboard of Kanami eating local ramen noodles. ‘MUST TRY!’ it was captioned, and they colored her cheeks red from the spicy flavor. You chuckled. “Wow. She really is everywhere.”
Kiyoomi followed your gaze. “She’s Itachiyama’s darling,” he shrugged, and then leant forward until his elbows rested on his knees. Sheepish wasn’t a word you would use to describe the Second Prince, but he definitely looked like it right now. “I must let you know, my mother didn’t invite you to visit just because she felt like it. She… well, she wanted you to somehow see Itachiyama as your home.”
“But I already have a home.”
“Yes, but she is fond of you, and she’s delusional that you should’ve been married to me,” he scratched his cheek, purposefully avoiding your gaze. Then, his cheeks flushed red, and you felt heat crawling on your neck at the implication of his words. “Sorry. That was awkward.”
“It’s fine. You are a great man, so it’s not like being married to you sounds entirely bad.”
“Definitely beats being married to my brother.”
“I guess so,” you chuckled, expelling any thoughts of being married to Kiyoomi instead. It wasn’t such a bad thing, to be honest. He was tall, handsome, and respectful. All of the Princess were good-looking in their own ways, but Prince Kiyoomi held the type of regal beauty that you would have oil portraits of hanging on the entrance of your home. He was large, stood tall and imposing, but never did he actually make you feel small or irrelevant. And even with his mysterious and silent demeanor, his intimidating features did little to hide his humble and bashful nature underneath. Which you found adorable, but you would never say it out loud. Instead, you watched as a crowd gathered in the middle of the city. Children ran around laughing, and parents bought trinkets from the stalls set up at the edge of the road.
“What is that?”
“A culture festival. They hold it annually around this time of the year to welcome autumn and give thanks for prosperous harvests. It’s called Kōyō no Matsuri, or ‘Festival of the Changing Leaves.’ It lasts about eight days where the farmers come together and celebrate.”
Unable to contain your excitement, you pressed your palms against the window. “I heard about this from the Crown Prince. Something about Itachiyama being one of the main suppliers of harvest and livestock?”
“We’re mostly a farmer country, whilst Inarizaki is the more advanced and modern one. It’s mostly to do with how our terrain is just richer in natural riches, while Inarizaki boasts in academics and politics,” he informed, “On the third day of the festival, the farmers visit some shrines to offer thanks for their harvest, and on the fifth day, they gather around the old temples and castles before Itachiyama and Inarizaki were split into two.”
“Wow. I hadn’t known your country would be so rich with history.”
“Technically, both countries share the same history. They just took separate paths at the end of it all.”
Pushing yourself off from the window, the driver drove past from the festival commotion until more trees surrounded you. You figured you’d left the city and now travelled somewhere more remote – fitting for where Kiyoomi lived.
“Do you like it better here?”
“Yes. It’s much quieter, and here, people don’t care too much on how I’m supposed to act as a Prince. I’m not their Prince, after all. I’m just a half-blood who happened to be their spokesperson.”
Something about his tone told you there was more he wanted to say, but chose not to. You pondered over it – how the Princes were so different. Some loved their titles and basked in their wealth, while some took their duties seriously to serve their people better. And then there was Rintaro, who was nearly crushed by the pressure to become better than Ushijima, and Kiyoomi… Kiyoomi, who remains an enigma to you. From what you heard about the Second Prince, people called him lazy, rarely attending meetings and showing up only when needed. It made you wonder how he was like as a little boy, who probably just wanted to live normally and in quiet, but because he was a Prince, he had to become someone else entirely.
Letting it go, you decided to change the topic. You were certain the Prince would share more with you about himself when he was ready.
“Your Highness, I would love to attend the festival.”
“Really?” his brows raised, and your eyes caught the motion of his vertical moles following the movement. “I mean, you can, but there would be lots of people. Wouldn’t you rather rest?”
“I’ve been doing nothing but rest the past few days. It would be nice to go out and do something. Besides, I wish to know more about your people.” And you meant it. You were barely a few hours in Itachiyama, but it already reminded you of the peaceful Greenville where you were raised. Itachiyama was starting to feel like home, like Kanami hoped.
Across you, you remained unaware of the Prince’s soft smile.
“I see. I shall take you to the festival tonight.”
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Seeing as Kanami still had her schedule filled, you and Kiyoomi had the rest of the day to yourselves until she returned. His mother did his best to welcome you, though, even in her absence. When you arrived at Kiyoomi’s farmhouse, she had already left you a bouquet of roses and a handwritten card telling you how happy she was her ‘daughter’ was now in her home country. It made your heart soften, even more so when she lent you a black-and-yellow floral yukata for tonight’s festival.
“You look nice,” Kiyoomi commented when you descended from the stairs, some flower pins in your hair. Overall, you felt pretty. It felt nice to be out of corsets and long-sleeved dresses. You could tell Kiyoomi approved too, as his eyes lit up, but his lips remained the same with an impassive expression. Offering his arm, you gladly took it, letting him lead you out and into the awaiting chauffeur. “Did my mother tell you to wear that?”
“She did. She said it would be more appropriate to wear traditional clothing fitting for the festival,” you gave a little twirl, and Kiyoomi’s lips curled by the slightest. It was enough to make you happy, and you were practically bouncing in your seat as the city lights came into view. Kiyoomi’s farmhouse rested on the countryside; surrounded by nothing but hills and endless amounts of grass. Signal couldn’t reach there, too, so you left your phone behind.
Tonight, you would simply enjoy this trip.
“Do you attend often?”
“When I can, yes, but… It’s a rather intimate celebration for the farmers, and I feel like I don’t do much for them, so I mostly sit out at home.”
“But you are a farmer, too, aren’t you?”
His eyes narrowed, but the reddening of his ears told you it was more of embarrassment. “Who told you that?”
“Your mother,” you chuckled. Once you’d arrived at the city, and the driver had parked somewhere else, you looped your arm around Kiyoomi’s and ventured into the heart of thefestival. “And I’m not stupid – you live in a farmhouse and have your own barn. I just never thought you would be the nature type.”
“There are lots you don’t know about me.”
“I can always learn.”
Kiyoomi’s gaze casted downwards. You couldn’t read his expression; he was always so guarded. But before you could contemplate on it further, you were swept up in the festivities. Everyone around you wore a yukata, and young couples held hands while wearing matching bracelets. Kiyoomi had told you those bracelets were special only for this festival, that the symbol of the moon was to pay respects to the Heavens for the blessings they bestow. Parents also joined in the night, with their children eating caramelized apples, and other candies. Mostly, the stalls offered food from their harvests such as roasted chestnuts, rice cakes, and pumpkin dishes. There was such a strong sense of community within the people that you were overwhelmed – Inarizaki didn’t feel as homely as Itachiyama.
An hour later, your stomach was well beyond full. You’d tasted and tried everything the farmers and their wives made. And when they saw the delighted way you closed your eyes and moaned at the delicacies, they offered you more and more. Kiyoomi paid for everything despite your protests, saying he was the host, and your only job for tonight was to enjoy.
Well, you surely wouldn’t complain.
Once you’d eaten your fill, and purchased a fox mask that matched your yukata, a group of young men started banging their drums. A woman played her flute effortlessly even behind her crow mask. Beside her, more people in matching crow masks sang in a foreign language. It sounded like a serenade; something about the voices were sweet, calling out to you like you were being seduced, and the hypnotic beats of the drum made your hips sway. But the most shocking part of it all was when people began to join in and held their partners, bumping their masks as if they were kissing, their hands squeezing each other’s waists and chanting along to the song.
You were mesmerized.
“That’s the Harvesting Dance,” Kiyoomi whispered in your ear, “They dance in hopes to bring joy to the ancestral spirits for blessing them with good harvest this year.”
“Must it always be a man and a woman?”
“It’s… an intimate dance,” he struggled to let out, and you craned your head towards him. He’d bought himself a fox mask to match yours, claiming he’d feel more comfortable if people didn’t recognize him. “Like the union of man and woman, they have become one with the ancestral spirits. It’s a time for reconnecting to their old ways, and showing gratitude for the family they’ve been given. And, uhm…” he scratched the back of his ears, which had turned pinkish again, “Well, it’s not just about harvest, really. It is also a dance for fertile crops and fertile wombs.”
Realization dawned on you.
“Oh!”
“It is a newly married couple’s tradition to participate in the dance.”
You nodded at the information, feeling both flustered and entertained at the Prince’s bashfulness. You almost wanted to tease him more about it until you were dragged by a young woman, her male partner already waiting for her in the middle of the dance. She rotated her hips in a circle and jumped to the beat, head thrown back in laughter. You couldn’t help but laugh with her, too – her laugh was contagious, and Kiyoomi was right. There was a sense of freedom when people didn’t know who you were.
“You lovebirds! Don’t miss out on the dance, unless you want the ancestral spirits to take away your virility!”
“Oh, thank you, but–”
“You are newly married, are you not?”
“I am, but–”
“Then come dance so you may be blessed with many healthy offspring!”
Sending a halfhearted apologetic smile to Prince, you dragged him with you. You realized he couldn’t see you, exactly, but your eyes were crinkled enough from your joy. He grumbled a bit, but otherwise didn’t complain. When the music played again, you mimicked the locals’ movements and giggled so hard your stomach hurt. Some of the steps were suggestive – a flirty brush of your knuckles on Kiyoomi’s chest, or him rubbing his mask tenderly at the sensitive spot of your neck. Through it all, you had to remain connected to each other. It was hard to tell who held who tighter – Kiyoomi had his hands planted on your hips with a deliciously vice-tight grip, and the fronts of his kimono had been undone by your teasing, restless hands.
You now understood why the dance encouraged fertility. There was so much seduction with only just your bodies, with no words needing to be spoken. And you couldn’t help but wonder – is this the way to Kiyoomi’s heart? Because he is not the best with words, so you had to touch him at all the right places?
You received your answer when the drums came to a crescendo before immediately halting. Like a growing orgasm, until it exploded from within, and you found yourself pressed up against Kiyoomi’s. Pressed close enough that his breathing matched yours. His eyes, already dark, grew impossibly darker.
“That was fun!” you bumped your mask with his, breathing hard underneath. “Has anyone told you you’re a great dancer?”
The Prince snorted. “I would be surprised if I wasn’t. I spent the good half of my childhood enduring dance lessons, thanks to my mother.”
You laughed hard at that. Already, this was becoming one of the best nights of your life. Back in Inarizaki, you didn’t go out much to socialize. All the other unmarried ladies seemed to be well-versed in charismatic social skills and effortlessly landed a husband within months after their debut into society. You, on the other hand, having grown up as an only child with busy parents, had no one to talk to. You stuttered a lot, and always stumbled on your own thoughts when voicing them out loud. It truly was a surprise to everyone that the Crown Prince found you interesting – even if that seemed a lifetime ago.
But you supposed you really weren’t the same person anymore. Because if you were still the same shy, bumbling young woman from years ago, you wouldn’t be here in Itachiyama, laughing without a care in the world with a handsome Prince at your side. He’d bought you more trinkets, and another set to gift to your mother when you returned home. You found it incredibly sweet, but of course, Kiyoomi only grumbled in embarrassment when you told him about it.
By the time Kiyoomi’s arms were filled with shopping bags, the crowd began to lessen. It was getting late, yet you were in no hurry, walking at a snail’s pace along the closed roads.
Silently hoping this moment would last forever.
“Your homeland is beautiful, Your Highness.”
“Thank you,” he said, and his brows furrowed deep in thought – as if hesitating. “They end tonight’s celebration with a Lantern Lighting Ceremony. Would you like to see?”
Your jaw dropped. Can this night get any better?
“I would love to!”
Since some of Kiyoomi and your security were still discreetly following, he handed them the bags before leading you away from the roads and near a lake, just beside the heart of the city. There, floating hydrangeas decorated the water, looking like it came out of a painting. Lanterns were already being lit up from where you stood – some with a rented wooden boat, and the rest content to just remaining in the concrete pavement, their hands weaved together as they mumbled themselves.
You turned to Kiyoomi in question. “It works like a birthday wish,” he explained, politely bowing to the old man who sold lanterns and match sticks. “You say your greatest desire, and then you let go of the lantern. The ancestral spirits will hear of your prayer and grant it to you.”
Doing as he said, you close your eyes. You could hear Kiyoomi lighting the match as he lit up the lantern, and you wished for more of this – more joyful, peaceful nights. It seemed like a simple wish, but with your current predicament, you had to jump at any chance of luck you could get. After all, you would have to leave Itachiyama someday. Your life wasn’t always going to be like this – of dances, of candied apples, of lighting lanterns and simply feeling alive. Because you knew once you returned home, reality would set in. So you prayed, and desperately wished, to experience happiness.
Satisfied, you cracked your eyes open, beaming at how the golden lantern burned even brighter in Kiyoomi’s large hands. Seriously, his hands were so big and his fingers long he almost encompassed the entire paper globe. However, he only had his eyes on you, his expression somber and lips tight – almost as if he knew you had wished for something impossible, and he, too, wanted your wish to come true.
“Did you wish for anything?”
“No.” He shook his head, “I already have everything I could need. The farmers need the prayers more than I do.” Again, you were stunned by the Prince’s thoughtfulness. He turned to you to ask if you were ready to let go of the lantern, and you nodded, the both of you watching as it soared up high in the sky – the dark night decorated with a hundred little lanterns like stars rising from the lake.
It was pure magic.
“Whatever it is you wished for,” Kiyoomi mumbled, “I hope it will come true.”
Your lips wobbled. “I hope so too.”
He nodded, feeling awkward once more, and you nearly laughed. The Prince clearly wasn’t great at dealing with genuine emotions. “Are you tired? We can return home already.”
“I’d like to walk on the way back to the car. I don’t want the night to end just yet.”
Kiyoomi wasn’t against your idea. You shared the silence in peace, gratitude and pure, unabashed happiness blooming from within your chest. You suddenly missed your mother; wishing you could’ve taken her with you. She would’ve loved it here. She would shamelessly do the Harvesting Dance with your father, because they were still enamored with one another even after years of marriage. They were the reason you believed in true love and hoped to have it for yourself. But alas, fate had different plans for you.
It had made you fall in love with the wrong person and made you a Princess in the aftermath.
Sneaking a glance at Kiyoomi, you noticed he’d already taken off his mask. His handsome features were bathed in the moonlight, making him look even more ethereal than he already was. His features, strong, and dark, and sharp, yet his lips were curved so softly, his dark eyes nothing but tender and patient.
He held none of the malice or greed the other Princes had.
“Do you enjoy being Prince, Your Highness?” you blurted after a while, because talking seemed to be the better option than ogling at his beauty. No, you couldn’t do that. You were both married to someone else – and you would rather lose your title than be unfaithful like Rintaro.
Rintaro. Just the thought of his name soured your mood.
“Not quite,” he admitted, “It isn’t as grand as it sounds. There are lots of things to do, and a myriad of rules to follow. But I still think this responsibility bestowed on me is an honor. After all, not everyone has the privilege to be born with a purpose. Many people spend the rest of their lives looking for it, but mine was handed in a silver platter.”
“Hm. I never thought of it that way. I… I always thought you hated being Prince.”
“I do not despite it, but neither do I like it.”
“What would you be doing, then, if you were born as a commoner?”
He side eyed you, a hint of a smile appearing on his face. “Farming.”
You both laughed. Of course that was his answer. “Why am I not surprised by that?”
“What about you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side and briefly glancing at the fat, extravagant ring on your finger. The sight of it made him wince, but he schooled his face into impassiveness before you could think about it. In return, you searched for his wedding ring too, frowning upon the realization he hadn’t worn it. “What would you be doing if you hadn’t married my brother?”
“Hmm… Managing the household… learning the business, although if you ask me, I really would have wanted to get married, regardless if it was to a royal or not. In fact, I never even dreamt of being a Princess. It just never seemed to be possible for me.”
“You’re a great Princess,” he commended, and that warmth blooming in your chest had fully sparked. “Who would you have married, then?”
“Anyone who loved me and cherished me,” you scrunched up your nose, feeling bashful. “I am quite the simpleton, aren’t I?”
“There is nothing wrong with wanting simple things.”
His words held nothing but sincerity. Coming from a Prince who didn’t indulge in the lavishness he could have with his life, and opted for farming instead, you believed him. And it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder, like a breath you’d been holding had been released. Kiyoomi was like a breath of fresh air. He was so different from his brothers – so detached from the crown, yet so connected to the world and its humble gifts. Kita was different, too, but he held a sharp edge to him. He wielded his intelligence and knowledge like a weapon, because living anywhere near the throne was a battle in itself, but Kiyoomi was just… different.
In a world of polished gems, he shone brightly as a raw diamond.
“Your Highness, I… I know most of royal marriages are arranged, and rarely does it happen out of love, but why Iris? You are the second Prince. Anyone of you could have had anyone you wanted, and Iris didn’t seem wealthy or influential enough to be a royal spouse candidate. Why her?”
“Because she’s from Itachiyama.”
“That’s it?”
Kiyoomi licked his lips, thinking about his answer before he spoke them. “You are aware I’m the only son with a foreign mother. When I was born, they saw potential in me, to possibly unite the two territories into one again. But I was aloof, and liked to keep to myself, so I lacked in that department. When Iris had been presented to the Queen by her mother and they pledged their loyalty to the throne, she was made a royal scholar,” he glanced at you, gauging for your reaction. “You are right that she isn’t anyone’s first choice to be a Prince’s wife. She comes from a common family with nothing to her name. But she is intelligent, and she has always shown dedication to the throne. That was enough to convince the Queen we were the most sensible pair.”
“And is it working? Are we being united to your homeland?”
“No. Iris has barely stepped foot in Itachiyama,” This time, Kiyoomi turned away from you and licked his lips. “She mostly does work at the Palace.”
“Because Rintaro is there?”
“Precisely.” You knew he would answer that, but the image popping in your head was unkind – of Iris and Rintaro making love to one another while you weren’t around.
“Do you love her? Or hold affection for her, in the very least?”
“Not at all. I never wanted to marry, and my opinion of her hasn’t changed since we married,” the determination in his voice surprised you, a hardness settling over his features. “Royal marriages are always done with a political purpose, Princess. It was, and never will be, out of love.”
The conversation died at that. You didn’t press further, either, because you knew Kiyoomi hadn’t said those words to hurt you. He only meant to remind you. And you were thankful, because he chose to be honest, albeit cruelly, when everyone else made you a fool – a weak fool who had to be fed lies because people believed you wouldn’t be able to stomach the truth. Perhaps they were right, perhaps you were weak, but Kiyoomi didn’t look at you like that. He only looked at you like he despised everyone for even lying, or keeping secrets, and he’d made it his mission to be truthful.
Truly, your unexpected friendship with the Prince had been the greatest gift.
“Thank you for the lovely evening, Your Highness,” you bowed to him, quite ready to retreat back into the guest room once you’d reached his farmhouse.
“It was my pleasure,” he returned the bow, yet remained frozen at the bottom of the staircase, tongue darting out to lick at his lower lip nervously. “Oh, and Princess? Would you… come and like to meet my horses tomorrow? I think you would like them.”
Somehow, the thought of Kiyoomi introducing his horses to you, and nerding out about them, put a smile on your face. Getting to know the Princes was like unwrapping a gift – you never know if you would like what was inside. But you most definitely liked Kiyoomi, and you remained true to your word that you would learn everything about him. His horses, his history, the contents of his heart, and every inch of his farmhouse and barn if he would let you.
“I would love to.”
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You couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bed.
Today’s events still played on your mind like a loop. The festivities, the freedom that came with anonymity, the connection of the citizens to their culture and history – you realized they were so different from Inarizaki. Inarizaki had its great parts, too, like their dedication to the monarchy and the power they held. It was a country known for having many scholars as the academe was greatly funded by the monarchs, but somehow it always felt… detached. Detached from nature, detached from the basic aspects of humanity.
Inarizaki cared about greatness, and so did its people. It was the sole reason why they had such strict customs and adhered to the law like their life depended on it. Itachiyama was different. They weren’t the most advanced – their buildings not as tall, their country mostly surrounded by beaches or forests, with their people preferring the old ways. Yet somehow, you felt more at home here.
It reminded you of Greenville and summers spent chasing dragonflies and lying on the grass to sunbathe.
It reminded you of a childhood long gone.
Sighing to yourself, you slipped out of the covers. The clock read it was just quarter past two am. Kiyoomi’s staff were already asleep, and you were certain each footstep you took would cause the floorboards to creak. Still, there was only so little you could do in your room. The TV didn’t have cable, Kiyoomi wasn’t interested in having Wi-Fi, and the place was rather empty of anything that could entertain you.
Surely a little exploring wouldn’t hurt, though. Slipping your arms into your robe, you tied it around your waist and exited your room. The hallways were dark and empty, and you held your breath, tiptoeing around the halls. You didn’t know why you were so nervous to be caught. It wasn’t like you were doing something wrong, although you did look suspicious turning every knob and groaning when none opened.
What was the point of all these rooms if you couldn’t enter them?
Walking around, you studied every bit of Kiyoomi’s farmhouse. It was grand in size, and nothing about the chandeliers and marble floors were the least bit modest, but it felt homey. There were knick-knacks everywhere, messy childhood paintings and poorly drawn stick-figures hung up on the wall. Upon closer look, you saw Tobio and Tooru scribbled upon the drawings. Smiling to yourself, you took it all greedily – the lack of family pictures replaced by these artworks, the fresh flowers with Kanami’s name tagged on a card lovingly taken care of, and a single portrait of Kanami with a younger Kiyoomi on her lap.
You could imagine how once in the past, the brothers spent many nights in this house, ran around chasing each other with their high-pitched squeals.
They were boys before they became Princes.
They were brothers before they were rivals.
Your hands reached out for the drawings. Even Shinsuke’s was there, and to no one’s surprise, his was the best. The colors were always within the lines, and he had clean, smooth strokes of his brush. Keiji’s was second best, but his looked more like scribbles and sketches than a polished end result. Ushijima didn’t have any drawings, but a certain stick figure drawing from a little Tobio counted eight brothers holding hands. ‘Brothers forever’, he scrawled underneath, causing your heart to ache.
He hadn’t included Rintaro in the picture.
Letting go of the drawings with a frown, you took a step back and collided with something solid. You gasped, a scream nearly torn out your throat when you studied the figure now standing in front of you. Broad shouldered, with unruly curls surrounding his face, and his head tilted to the side in confusion – Prince Kiyoomi looked like a dream come true. One shouldn’t look this ethereal in the dark hallways of his house, with nothing but the moonlight slipping through the glass windows illuminating the sharpness of his cheekbones.
He stood so still and quiet you couldn’t hear him breathe. Had he been here for a while?
You placed a hand to calm your racing heart. “Your Highness. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d still be awake.”
“It’s okay,” he mumbles, looking past you and to the drawings just as his brows pinched together. “I didn’t know you’d be awake, too. Is your room not to your liking?”
“Oh, no, no, it is. I’m just…”
“Feeling homesick?”
“Not quite,” you scrunched your nose, “Today was just amazing. I’m still reeling from the joy of it all.”
He nodded, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. You watched him have an inner debate before he nodded again, gesturing to the staircase. “Follow me. There’s something I’d like to show you.”
The Prince led you to the hallway where his room and Kanami’s was located whenever she visited. At the end of the hall stood two grand double doors that could only be opened by a key from his pocket. The doors squeaked as it open, and you both coughed as dust fluttered through the space. Clearly, it hadn’t been used in a while, but that mattered little when he switched on the lights. Rows upon rows of books stood tall enough to nearly hit the ceiling. The room had a dome-shaped structure, with the walls carved in to make more spaces as bookshelves. In the middle sat a velvet red couch with a wooden table decorated with a vase of flowers. However, it wasn’t the books that took your breath away – it was the grand spiraling chandelier that slowly flickered to life like candles being lit, bathing the room in a warm, soothing light.
Unable to help yourself, you stepped inside, jaw dropped at the beauty of it all.
“This is my library.”
“This is marvelous,” you chuckled out, breathily, running your fingers over the spines of the books. They were covered in dust, but otherwise in pristine conditions. Most of them were classic collections too – the types of books you would only find in antique shops. And was that an official journal from an ancient royal? You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. This couldn’t be just a personal collection – these had to be an official record room.
“Are these all yours?”
“Some of it were my father’s. His Majesty liked to read.”
You glanced at Kiyoomi from under your lashes. He stood at an arm’s length away from you, casually leaning against the bookshelf whilst you pull out a random book. The Anthology of the First King, it read.
“You’re the first Prince who ever spoke of him.”
Kiyoomi’s gaze flittered over yours, from your fingers caressing the ancient book delicately, to the way a smile graced your face upon inhaling that addicting old book smell. His voice, if possible, grew quieter. “I know my brothers all dislike him, and I don’t blame them,” he continued, “But His Majesty raised me as best as he could. It may have been because of the power I could wield as a foreigner, but he came here often. He was the reason I grew up with a fondness for books.”
You hadn’t heard of that before. As far as you knew, the late King seemed absent in all of his son’s lives, but then again, the royal family had always been a complexity.
Turning away from the historical section, you beamed at the Prince. “Well, this is quite an impressive collection. His Majesty has taste.”
Kiyoomi fought back a smile. The gesture shouldn’t have looked as adorable as it did, and now you were fighting back a smile, too. You liked him this way – you like him much better here in Itachiyama. Whenever he was at the Palace, you could see the walls he surrounded himself with, how he closed himself from the world. But here? Here, he was just a man eager to talk about the things he loved, and you eagerly followed him when he gestured you to.
“This is my section,” he pointed to a rack spanning from floor to ceiling, then to the shelves next to it. “And that is Tooru’s. The one at the back is Keiji’s.”
Tooru’s section was… surprising, to say the least. He had all of Shakespeare’s books, with a multitude of romance and tragedy novels. His books looked to be the most loved out of everything you’d seen – with cracked spines, folded paper edges, and annotations on the pages. “Tooru’s? These are all romance novels.”
“It may be hard to believe, but he is a hopeless romantic,” Kiyoomi snickered, “Keiji, on the other hand, loves to read historical fiction. And don’t tell him I told you this, but he wrote three of these books here.”
“He’s a writer?!”
“A splendid one,” he boasted, pulling out a book titled The Fall of Belle. “He wrote this about Belleview Manor when he was eighteen. Belleview was notorious for housing the most, er, complicated royals, you see. He was inspired by it and turned it to a kingdom, writing something about soldiers and poets and kings. It’s a really good novel. I highly recommend you read it.”
Kiyoomi was already shoving Keiji’s novels into your arms before you could say anything. Next to Keiji’s was Shinsuke’s collection – unsurprisingly again, were mostly textbooks. The Itachiyaman Law, the Governance, the History of Inarizaki, The Fall of the Union. You weren’t too interested, so you moved onto the next shelves and blinked back at what you saw.
Beside you, the Prince cleared his throat in an attempt to hold back a smile. “That is Tobio’s section.”
“These are… balls.”
Instead of books placed on the shelves, they were balls, all held up carefully by expensive looking holders. Each one of them had signatures written on them with markers, along with a tag underneath of several dates. “Volleyballs, yes. He had these signed by his favorite players, and those are the dates of the matches,” he explained, slowly moving behind you until you could feel the heat radiating off of him. Looking up at the Prince, you saw he wasn’t looking at you, but rather at the sports equipment with what seemed like fondness, and regret, in his eyes.
“He’s always loved playing sports as a child. He was rather good at it, too. Shame he couldn’t go pro.”
“Because he’s a Prince?”
Kiyoomi nodded. “He may be the youngest, but that doesn’t mean he’s freed from his duties. The Queen knows the kingdom loves him so she has quite a grand plan for Tobio to start tours by himself and see if he’d be more successful in establishing connections with others,” shaking his head, the Prince closed his eyes. “He may marry soon, too.”
“He’s too young to be married.”
“He isn’t that young, but I know what you mean,” he said, “Although I think Tobio will find it the hardest to marry out of every one of us.”
“Why so?”
Kiyoomi shrugged. “He’s a romantic. Not like Tooru in the sense that he would recite Shakespeare’s sonnet to seduce a woman he likes, but in the sense that he still innocently believes he can marry someone of his choosing. That’d only work if she was a noblewoman, though. Otherwise he might experience the same fate as Shinsuke.”
Ah. Shinsuke and his maid – a tragedy in the making.
You looked away from Kiyoomi. Shuffling the books in your arms, you shuffled to the lone seat in the room and plopped down on it, wincing when your arms ached from the weight. “You know a lot about your brothers.”
“I’ve spent a long time watching them,” he confessed, and the sofa dipped beside you. He leant back against it, his long legs crossing over the other as he tilted his head back, watching what little he could of the stars visible from the dome-like ceiling. “It wasn’t always like this. There was a point in our lives we used to be closer and didn’t care too much about the throne.”
“Who were you closest with?”
“Tooru and Keiji. They both loved reading, and so did I. I wasn’t very close with the younger ones because they were rambunctious, especially the twins. But I like Tobio a lot,” he smiled, albeit sadly. “I hope the crown never fails him. I would do anything to ensure he stays unaffected by the harshness of it.”
“He’s a precious boy,” you agreed, and then thought back to the drawings in Kiyoomi’s living room. Biting your lip, you suddenly stood up and headed for the last shelf at the end of the room. Silently hoping, wishing, it was Rintaro’s section. Behind you, you heard the Prince shuffle on his feet as he followed you around. “And… Rintaro? Were you close with him back then, too?”
You already expected the answer, but it didn’t disappoint you any less when you heard it.
“No. The Queen always kept him isolated. I rarely saw him growing up, but on the few times I did, he always looked like he wanted to play with us. He wasn’t allowed, though. Her Majesty was… eerily wary of him getting too close with his brothers,” Kiyoomi let on, his handsome face contorting to that of discomfort when you blankly stared at him. Then, his ears reddened, and he coughed out of nowhere, his large palm covering his mouth. “I fear I may have talked too much. Please, look around. I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll like.”
Happy to do so, you left no inch and corner of the library unturned. Tooru had the most interesting collection with his romance novels, but you found Keiji’s section to be the most curious. A moment later, you had a dozen books stacked on top of each other at the nearby table. You just wanted one more – a book about Tobio’s favorite sport so you could ask the sweet Prince about it when you returned home.
Unfortunately, the first five rows of Tobio’s shelf consisted of his signed volleyballs, and his books sat at the top ones. You had to stand on your tiptoes, only for your fingers to barely graze the spine of it. Damn it. Taking your slippers off, you bunched your nightgown and robe in your hand and used your free arm to hoist yourself up. Your feet landed on the wooden boards of the shelf as you struggled to reach for A Dummy’s Guide to Volleyball when your foot slipped.
The ground disappeared beneath you.
Gravity consumed you as you fell, the book you’d been reaching for sliding out of its place and nearly knocking into your forehead. But it never came. Your face never smacked the ground, and your bum seemed safe, too. Instead, strong arms wrapped around your waist until you landed on a hard body with an ‘oof’, the breath knocked out of your windpipe.
Kiyoomi groaned underneath you.
Gasping, you realized you’d accidentally elbowed him in the chest. The poor prince had turned red in the face as he struggled to breathe, and you hoisted yourself up to move yourself out of the way, realizing a little too late how little you wore. Or how thin your nightgown was. Or how you didn’t wear a bra to sleep and forgot to wear one when you left the room, and now your hardened nipples were brushing against his chest. Underneath you, Kiyoomi inhaled in sharply, his dark eyes darting from your cleavage and to the books – the movement so fast you wondered if he had whiplash.
You froze. This was… quite a predicament to be in.
If you slid your body upward, your lace panties would brush against his crotch. If you slid yourself downwards, you’d graze your sensitive nipples on his silk blouse. But if you slid sideways, that would mean you had to rise your upper body to get your knees to stop straddling him, and he’d have an even closer view of your breasts.
In conclusion, nothing would work.
“Let me, just, uh, move,” the Prince groaned beneath you, and you nodded fervently. He could do whatever he wanted at this point as long as it meant you’d both be separated. However, luck was not on his side either. As soon as the Prince gripped your hips to lift you off of him, his hips rose on instinct, accidentally thrusting into you.
The Prince stopped breathing, and so did you.
Within the blink of an eye, the Prince had torn you off his body – and he was suddenly at the other side of the room. Color drained from his face just as his skin from the neck down blistered red, the poor Prince snatching a nearby book to hide the growing tent in his pants.
“My apologies,” he blurted out, looking at everywhere but you. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay,” standing up, you dusted yourself off and wobbled on your feet. Great. Your legs felt weak, and your voice didn’t come out as confident and composed as you liked it to be. Rather, you were both breathless – and you couldn’t tell if it was from the adrenaline, or the delicious way his body molded to yours.
A pleasure you would not be thinking of. Ever. Again.
“Uhm. Thank you. Your library is really nice.”
The Prince nodded, taking his lips between his teeth. “I should, uh. I should go.”
“Yes, that might be for the best,” you croaked out, and just like that, the Prince was gone. The heavy slamming of the doors was the last thing you heard before you were engulfed in a deafening silence.
That night, you did not get any sleep at all.
And you were restless for all the wrong reasons.
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valeisaslut · 1 year
Text
the morning is the muse-mdni (+18)
clic to read pt.1!
⚢ pairing: Shane McCutcheon (The L Word, 2004) x Reader 𖥔 ݁ ˖
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ෆ synopsis: after the heated events of the night before, Shane and y/n try to make it pass as a one night thing, but feelings get in the way. It's your turn to realize that Shane is someone quite difficult to avoid 𖥔 ݁ ˖
⭑ word count: 2.12k 𖥔 ݁ ˖
♱ content: smut (nsfw), dom! Shane, sub! reader, oral sex (r!receiving), fingering, cum eating, jealousy, cursing, Shane and y/n are smokers, pet names, etc. MDNI!! 𖥔 ݁ ˖
꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ Hii! first of all, thank you all so so so much for all the support in my first fic! I honestly wrote it more for myself than for it to be popular and i didn't expect all those kind beautiful messages and so many people asking me to write a pt.2! So here it is, I really hope you like it as much as i did. Sorry in advance if there are some misspelling or writing mistakes, english isn't my first language and I will be happy to receive constructive criticism! 𖥔 ݁ ˖
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
The dim and warm morning light seeped through the curtains of Shane's department, reaching your eyes and waking you from your slumber in a slow manner.
As you languidly opened your eyes, you started scanning your surroundings, not immediately comprehending your present location. However, in a matter of seconds, the flashbacks of the previous night hit you like a bus and a slight blush painted your cheeks.
The first thought of your sleepy head was to make sure of Shane's presence in the bed, so you rolled up to the other side, only to discover her absence.
You looked around the room, slightly confused but not really surprised. It was something that you could expect from a one night stand.
"Shane...?" you mumbled softly, still giving it a chance to dismiss your internal thoughts.
"maybe she just went and expects me to leave before she comes back" your inner voice echoed.
You were only in your panties, so you sat up and stretched your arms, letting out a soft sigh. You were ready to get dressed and start your walk of shame as soon as possible, but a sound coming from the kitchen stopped you in your tracks.
You felt footsteps coming towards the room, so you covered yourself with the sheets again. The door creaked open, revealing Shane's long and slim figure. She had two different colored mugs, one on each of her hands and a cigarette dangled from her lips.
She was wearing only a white tank shirt and black panties, her jet black hair all messy and her eyes were slightly black from the remnants of smudged makeup (that she didn't correctly remove after your shared shower).
Without a doubt, she was the hottest girl you had ever hooked up with.
"hey, you already up" Shane said, with an even deeper than usual morning voice, she came closer to you and offered you the cup "I was making myself coffee and I made some for you too, if you want it"
"oh, thanks" you said as you took the coffee and leaned back on the bed, sipping it and letting out a soft sigh of pleasure "I really needed that, thank you again, you really didn't have to"
Shane looked at you while taking a long drag on her cigarette, the morning light perfectly illuminating your face and your locks with a serene aura. Then her gaze went a little lower, discovering your bare body covered only by the almost sheer sheets.
"my pleasure" she responded to your gratitude with an alluring manner, giving you her very renowned Shane smirk.
You looked down at your cup, chuckling when you realized what was written in it.
"Best. lesbian. ever."
"nice mug you have here" you said, turning it around to show her the quote, making her laugh too "i'm gonna need the address of the place where you got this. immediately"
"I have no idea 'cause I actually didn't bought it" she responds to your request "it was a joke from my friend, she gave me that as a birthday gift last year"
"the quote is true tho" you remarked, still chuckling as Shane drew nearer, giving you a cute peck on the lips. "hell yeah it is" she purred, planting another kiss upon you, her passion and eagerness growing with each passing moment.
You reciprocated with the same initiative, as Shane put out her almost finished cigarette on the ashtray that laid on the nightstand. Both of you left your mugs too, quickly forgetting the coffee.
You sat up on your forearms and Shane crawled up over you, placing one of her hands on the mattress while the other one moved to your nape, deepening the kiss.
You placed your hand on Shane's waist, caressing the soft flesh as her kisses went lower, nibbling upon the sensitive skin of your neck and licking the already dark marks from last night.
Her hands traced lower, softly gripping your breasts and she separated from the kiss to attach her mouth to your nipple, sucking on it and squeezing the other.
She slowly moved towards your legs, her body getting closer until she was on her knees in front of you. As she did that, she gave you a look full of lust, her lips kissing and her hands gripping the supple flesh of your inner thighs.
With each second passing, the dampness in your panties grew more, yearning to be pleased. As a reflex, you attempted to close your legs, but her strong grip kept them firmly in place.
"be a good girl and spread your legs" she deeply whispered, and you complied without complaint. Her voice slightly muffled by her lips grazing your thighs, getting closer and closer to your sensitive spot.
You audibly moaned as her tongue touched the drenched fabric of your undergarments, licking a long stripe and sucking your wetness. Her teeth grasped the waistband of your panties, slowly drawing them down your legs with her mouth.
The sight was absolutely alluring, and turned you into a whimpering mess. Her hands squeezed your flesh once more and her mouth met your bare pussy, eliciting a resounding gasp from your lips.
She began to suck loudly on your clit as your head fell back in ecstasy, your eyes darted shut as you firmly grip her hair.
"Fuck! don't stop" you moan and as if that weren't enough, her deft fingers found their way to your sensitive nipple, teasing and twisting it.
“you like that, baby?” she whispered, her deep voice muffled by your pussy. The room was filled with the sultry wet sounds, causing you to writhe beneath her touch.
“oh god Shane” your moans only seem to heighten her desire, making her more eager, almost pussy drunk. She eats you out like she is a woman starved, and you are her last meal.
A broken "fuck" escaped from your lips the moment when her hot tongue started intercalating between fucking you and flattening against your clit, knowing that it was over for you.
Somehow, she delves her fingers into the mess and the overwhelming stimulation quickly drove you to the edge, making you cum all over her mouth with loud and broken whimpers, one of your hands gripping the sheets and the other roughly pulling Shane's hair.
A shiver courses through your spine when she used her tongue to clean up every last drop of your release, her fingers still inside of you, moving slowly to extend your high as much as possible.
After you calm down from your high, Shane hovered over you and pressed sweet kisses on your open, breathless mouth. She removed her fingers and sucked them clean before helping you pull up your panties again.
"i love the way you taste" Shane whispers in your ear, and you swore you could hear her smirk. You were just about to reply, but you both stopped your movements at the loud sound of knocking on the door.
"cominggg" Shane lazily said, putting on the first pair of pants and socks she found laying on the floor. She walked out of the room and the next thing you heard was the door creaking open.
"hey Shane, sorry to wake you up" a womanly voice says "I just dropped by to ask you if you could give me back my bra from yesterday, it's my favorite"
"oh, hey Laura.. uhh yeah, jus gimme me one second and I'll look for it" you hear Shane say as you felt her footsteps coming near the room.
You can't help being embarrassed, it makes you feel kinda ridiculous laying naked in a bed that yesterday was filled for another girl, so you start putting your clothes on and grabbing one of Shane's cigarettes, lighting it and taking a drag.
"It shouldn't bother me so much. it was just a one time thing. with a stranger. It doesn't mean anything, so why do I feel like this? god im so fucking stupid" your mind echoed while you got dressed as fast as you could.
Shane walked into the room, not even looking at you and just focusing on finding that piece. She opened a drawer and took out a pink, lacy, probably D-cup bra and just walked out. Your mind couldn't find a moment where you had felt more uncomfortable than this.
"found it, there you go" you heard her say "thanks babe, call me later" the girl replied.
"sure.... see you around" Shane responded, and you can quickly feel her closing the door and her steps coming closer again. You took a drag of your cigarette and grabbed your purse.
"hey hey, you are going already?" Shane confusedly leaned on the door frame while you were putting your clothes on, her eyes still lingering at your body.
"um, yeah" you responded while your mind struggled to make an excuse and tried to sound the most unbothered it could. "I forgot I have... a deadline today, so yeah.... i'm out, sorry"
"oh, ok" she said, kinda weirded out by your sudden attitude, but still understanding. You took another long drag, trying to figure out your next words.
"hope I see you around, some of these days" you say as you turn around to put out your cigarette in the ashtray. Your words were genuine, but at the same time you didn't know if you wanted to see her again. Your head was a complete mess.
"yeah, me too" she got closer to caress your check and give you a peck on the lips, smiling at you. You swore you saw her eyes slightly glint, but didn't give it too much importance.
You both said your goodbyes with a bittersweet taste on your mouths and as soon as you were on the elevator, you took out your phone and called your best friend Alice.
"Hey Al, wanna go to the Planet for coffee in like, 10 minutes?"
"so yeah, all that happened" you and Alice were sitting at a small table outside, both with coffees in your hands.
"well, that explains the hickeys all over your neck" she said, pointing out the dark fresh marks decorating your neck and collarbones.
"oh my god, are they THAT obvious?!" you responded covering your neck with your hands, completely embarrassed.
"I noticed them as soon as you walked in, you are gonna have to invest on some good concealer or a scarf" you laughed at her remark, but your laughter stopped the moment you saw Shane walking in.
"fuck, that is the girl I hooked up with last night!" you whispered to Alice, pointing at her under the table and trying to hide your face. Al turned to look at Shane's direction, and then turned again to look at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression.
"Shane?! You arrived from New York one fucking week ago and Shane already fucked you?? this is so fucking ridiculous, its like she has a radar for every girl she hasn't fucked yet!"
"shut up, Al! shit, she's coming, act normal" you said, freaking out.
"hey guys, didn't expect to see you here" Shane said, greeting you with a confused look on her face. Then, her eyes fell to your neck, noticing the dark hickeys and smirking.
"um, yeah... I just decided to grab a quick coffee with my friend on the way, Shane, this is Alice- " you nervously said.
"yeah, I know, we are very close" Shane says "unfortunately" Alice replies.
"well, see you both around, wish you luck with your deadline y/n" she says with a kind of sarcastic tone and turned around to go with Marina, Shane's shot of espresso already in her hand.
"what a tiny and crazy little world" you say, trying to process everything that happened in just an hour.
"crazy, yes.. but not tiny" Alice responds with a smirk on her face, already thinking of linking you to Shane and expanding her board.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
clic to read pt.1!
guysss please let me know if you want a part 3 and I will happily write it! I already have a lot of ideas. Hope you enjoyed and I'm very grateful for every repost, like or share you want to give.
(sorry again if there's any spelling or writing mistakes)
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anundyingfidelity · 5 months
Text
A PLEASANT SURPRISE — Billy Butcher
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Summary: After a long time apart, Butcher breaks in your home on your birthday.
Pairing: Billy Butcher x female reader.
Word count: 1.1k.
Warnings: mentions of sex, suggestive, language, mentions of Becca and a dead fiancé.
If you'd like to be added, the taglist is here!
notes: this was a request part of my 400 followers drabbles but it was a cute idea and i loved it too much so it turned out longer! the request was made by @thatcharmingmushroom, happy birthday honey!!! i hope you like it!
☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !
GEN MASTERLIST!
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With a long sigh, you made your way inside your apartment. Under the few illumination coming from the street lights on the windows, you placed on the countertop the bag of groceries you carried. First thing you looked for was the bottle of wine, in need to just forget the shitty week you had.
“Need help with that?”
That voice you knew too much caused you to jump slightly, your heart beating so hard against your chest as you turned on your heels to see the tall man standing against the wall. He turned on the light switch. Now you could see him better.
“Shit, you scared the hell out of me!” you breathed out.
You couldn’t get mad at him right now. If you weren’t too tired, then you probably would.
Butcher closed the distance between both of you and kissed your cheek softly, the burning feeling of his beard against your skin. “Sorry, luv. I was just passing by.”
You turned your head slightly, ghosting your lips against his own. “You could’ve just called before…”
“Yeah, but what’s the point in that?” he smirked before kissing you properly.
You hummed, feeling his lips after missing him for almost three weeks now. He always left for work. You knew he was into some dangerous shit, but you couldn't really blame him. The world was a disgusting place and you could only find some relief and a sense of safety when you were with him.
You had lost your fiancé to supes, he had lost his wife to supes as well. Twice. And you found each other in a moment where you couldn't lose anything else... But him. You were pretty sure he thought the same. That was why he just left for weeks without telling you, without a call. Nothing. That was his way of protecting you, even if you could bump into one of those fuckers anytime.
When you broke the kiss he started looking for something in your cabinets and once he found the corkscrew he opened the bottle. You took out two wine cups and poured the wine. Soon, you settled together in your living room, sitting on your couch. After taking a sip of your cup, you put it on your coffee table by the side of his own cup. You leaned your head on his shoulder lovingly.
"I missed you so much," you mumbled, taking his hand on yours.
"I know..."
"I wish you'd come more often," you said, looking up at him.
His gaze turned compassionate and he forced to look away from you, instead lowering his eyes. "Well, I'm here now, innit?"
You shifted and turned, making his eyes lock with yours, making it impossible to escape from your hurtful expression. He started to miss the warmth of your hand and your body against his own.
"William, you know what I mean."
"You know what I do," Butcher said. "I'm trying to protect you."
"Yes, but I-" you cut your words, now looking away. It felt so stupid to begin the night with something like this, knowing well you could not see each other that often. "I just wish things were different."
Butcher smiled sadly,. Seeing you like that was breaking his heart. You were the only person, besides Becca, who he could really rely and understand perfectly. He knew you were no replacement for her, and he was no substitute to your fiancé, not now, not never. But there was just something that had drawn him to you that day when you met at that seedy bar. Not just the way you kissed and fucked each other's brains out, but you. You didn't leave the next day, and he didn't want to leave. You didn't run away when he opened up his heart, and neither did he.
It was so silly how a one night stand had you right there, in front of him, after all those months. All of you. You were everything for him that night, and it was no different now.
"Y'know why I came here, right?" he asked, placing his hand on your thigh.
You beamed, trying to focus in the moment. "Thought you forgot."
"Can't believe you think so little of me, luv," Butcher smirked, leaning down to kiss you again, cupping your cheek with the palm of his hand. "Happy birthday."
A soft smile appeared on your lips. "Thank you."
He started looking for something inside his coat and took out a beautiful royal blue silk box, handing it to you with a smirk on his lips. "Got something for ya."
"You didn't steal this, did you?" you said, with a teasing voice, caressing the box with your fingers. It was pretty.
"Just traded a favor," he continued. Your brows lifted. "I'm being honest, sweetheart. Open it."
You giggled under your breath and did as he said. "Fine."
With a gasp, your eyes widened at the insides of the silk box. There was a pretty golden necklace, a small precious gemstone adorned the center. It left you speechless, just staring at it and blinking repeatedly. You knew it was fucking expensive and here you had it, because he thought you should.
"I uhm, I don't know what to say..."
"A kiss is enough."
You chuckled and pulled him for a sweet kiss. You felt his stupid, proud smile against your lips.
"Thank you so much. I love you," you mumbled. "You didn't really have to do this."
"But I wanted to. You fucking deserve it," the palm of his hand caressed your cheek, his thumb brushing on your skin lovingly as his eyes admired your beauty being so close to him. The usage of his words made you smile and he started teasing. "Ah, there it is."
His lips left kisses on your cheek, down your jawline until he kissed the skin on your neck, making you giggle a little and gasp out.
"Stop it, did you have dinner already?" you asked, pushing him away playfully. There was a lustful spark in his eyes and your body ached for him after being apart for so long.
Butcher crashed his lips against yours again, like a hungry man. Slowly, you were laying down on the couch with his help. His strong body over yours as he tasted the wine on your lips with a low moan. Your hands were on the back of his neck, and you let him press his hips against your own, spreading your legs.
"I rather have you as a my main dish," he growled once you pulled away from the kiss.
"Great. I can't wait."
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rosegoldrosieee · 5 months
Text
so high school
while flesh-eating walkers had seemingly crushed your long-held dreams of experiencing romance as a teenager, carl grimes made you feel so high school.
♡ carl x f!reader, fluff, implied suggestiveness, friends to lovers (sorta), ambiguously alexandria, reader has a spine
a/n: wrote this yesterday hiding in the bathroom during lunch on my school-licensed chromebook for maximum immersion
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it was times like these, standing outside on someone’s back porch to get away from boisterous conversations and forced interactions, that reminded you of stupid high school chick flicks with cheesy one-liners, twenty-something actors playing sixteen-year-olds, and predictable love triangles.
you never got to navigate and, most importantly, surmount pubescent awkwardness, nor gush about crushes at sleepovers, because by your twelfth birthday, the dead somehow began to roam the earth.
out of sheer necessity, you’d eschewed any shot at teenage romance for survival skills, and effectively turned into a wallflower when you rejoined civilized society.
a gentle tap on your shoulder snapped you out of your reverie.
“hey.”
there stood the very reason you were even thinking about early-2000s romance movies in the first place: a chronically flannel-clad, one-eyed cowboy, notorious for merely sharing the same last name as the de facto leader of alexandria, now two feet in front of you holding a shot glass of fruit punch.
“didn’t mean to scare you.” he says with a sheepish grin plastered on his face.
“the only thing that’s scaring me is what you’re using as a vessel for your fruit punch.”
“everyone used up all the solo cups so i had to dig around in the cabinets,” he replies nonchalantly, holding up the glass. “why are you out here?”
why were you out here?
you can’t even remember.
“i don’t know.”
it’s hard to think, much less remember, anything when carl’s looking at you like that, arms crossed and leaning forward onto the banister, blue eyes boring into your own.
“did you even hear me?” he taps your hand that’s resting on the ledge gently, his lips quirking up with the ghost of an amused smile.
your eyes flick up to meet his attentively. “…what?”
“wow, you’re really out of it today,” he laughs, sipping from his shot glass. “forget it.”
you shift your weight, shaking your head. “well, i’m listening now, so tell me.”
his fingers are fidgeting with yours, you realize. tapping gently on your knuckles. intentionally, unintentionally? it was cute either way.
he tilts his head. “i just want to know what you’re thinking about.”
you shrug, as dismissively as you possibly can. swallowing down the butterflies that threatened to crawl into your throat.
“getting away from this stupid ass party.”
he raises an eyebrow, tone skeptical. “and?”
you narrow your eyes. it was a bad habit, using vitriol to mask your emotions. you were well aware. “what do you mean, ‘and’?”
“‘cause you’re smart,” his lips curl into a smirk. “that’s not all you’re thinking about. you’re never all…spaced out, like this.”
fuck you, carl grimes.
“i’m just tired,” you fib. your eyes drift to your hand, intertwined with carl’s, before quickly looking away. “you’re reading into it too much.”
“only because you’re not acting normal,” he teases, a dimpled grin gracing his features before he adds, “and you definitely would’ve pulled away by now if you didn’t want this.”
you steal a glance at your entangled hands again, heat rising to your face before you ask, skeptical, “what are you trying to do, exactly?”
“what do you think i’m trying to do?”
you glance to the side furtively, tongue-tied, still able to hear the muffled revelry through the shut screen door, before your eyes trace over his features again.
you wanted to wipe that shit-eating grin off his face so badly.
tugging at the collar of his unbuttoned flannel, you shift your weight to the balls of your feet, connecting your lips to his fruit-punch-stained ones.
you swear you’ll never drink hawaiian punch, or any drink with red-40 in the ingredients list, again without imagining the taste of him lingering on your lips.
expression tinged with a gradient of conflicting emotions when you pull away, you open your mouth to say something— and then he pulls you in this time, words dying in your throat with a soft whimper.
the party fades into an afterthought until you hear the screen door open just around the corner, thudding against the frame. quickly, you disentangle yourself from his arms, faces still flushed.
it’s rick, his rugged, stubbled face and piercing gaze (so it must be hereditary, you wagered) flickering between the two of you suspiciously, nodding at you curtly.
“carl.”
thank god for your quick reflexes — those, at least, hadn’t deteriorated just because you were sheltered by alexandria.
carl swallows, freckled face flushed as he quickly looks at you, panic etched on his face. the evidence of your little affair conveniently disguised by the shadow of his cowboy hat and the darkness of the night.
“dad, can’t we stay a little longer?”
“think the party’s ‘bout over.”
you peer into the ajar casement windows, abandoned solo cups decorating the vacant living room, watching abraham stagger into the mudroom and nearly take a shelf with him when he topples forward. rosita, unamused, rolls her eyes, grumbling something unintelligible before dragging him along.
before the grimes family gets into a fight, you take it upon yourself to leave first, retrieving your cardigan that was hanging on the banister. “see you around, carl. bye, mr. grimes.”
both of them wave as you disappear into tree-lined streets, intermittently illuminated by uniform streetlights.
as soon as you’re out of earshot and out of sight, you let out a pleasant sigh, smiling from ear to ear like an absolute idiot as your hands reached up to feel your flushed cheeks, still hot to the touch as you giggle to yourself at the incredulity of it all.
at home, once the high had worn off, or more realistically, ebbed for the time being, you shed your cardigan, scrutinizing the crimson patches blooming on the side of your neck in the mirror, smiling like a fool.
these were the only kind of bites you’d ever tolerate.
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waywardsummoner46 · 7 months
Text
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ Sink Into the Darkness, My Light | One | ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
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──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
"Join us, my Light."
Two centuries ago, the ruler of the Light disappeared, plunging the universe into chaos and disrupting the sacred, unspoken balance of the universe.
The eight rulers of the Darkness never stopped looking for her; their obsession never once waning since she vanished.
Recently, they've sensed something. Never around long enough to pinpoint but so euphoric that it sings within their veins. And since meeting you, well... slowly they begin to understand why.
"Sink into the darkness with us."
──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
「✦」 PAIRING - yandere ot8!ateez x (?)reader
「✦」 GENRE - ancient gods!au, fantasy!au, magical powers!au
「✦」 WARNINGS - mind control, gaslighting, dom/sub, subspace (of a sort), temporary amnesia, manipulation, YANDERE AND DARK THEMES
「✦」 WORD COUNT - 4,343
「✦」 A/N - Long time no see, huh...
「✦」 TAGLIST - Let me know if you'd like to be added :)
──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
• one • two • three • four • five •
──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
“Oh, Ji-Ah! You really didn’t have to, you know.”
   Holding your phone up to your ear, your eyes twinkled as they beheld the gifts your friend had gotten you.
  “Of course I didn’t have to, but it’s your birthday and I… I wanted to.” 
  She quietened towards the end of her sentence, and your heart clenched at the sincerity of the gifts and her words.
  “Ji-Ah…”
  Whilst you were at work that day, she must’ve used her spare key to your apartment and placed all of these presents on your living room table. The book you had been raving over for the past few months was sitting in a brand new giant teddy bear’s lap, all decorated and styled with a bow. A now-opened card sat neatly to their side, a picture of you both from a few years ago on its cover and the sweetest message inside. 
  As much as you appreciated everything and made sure to verbalise that gratitude to her, you both knew that the book was what held your attention the most. You had spent literal months searching for it, ‘The Hidden War Within.’
  When you’d first mentioned it to Ji-Ah, she’d laughed and asked if it was some sort of mindfulness, positive psychology type book. You’d dismissed her playfully, stating that she wasn’t necessarily incorrect but ignored the actual content of the book. ‘The Hidden War Within’ is a novel by a collection of authors over the course of centuries; it’s written from the first person perspective and tells the tale of a lady, every time, who aims to nurture the goodness in people and minimise the evil that could fester. The antagonist, a male whose origins vary, actively dismisses her aims, instead wishing to incite sin and discourse within the people of the land. The  descriptions of the constant battle between the pure aims of the protagonist and the insidious intentions of the antagonist captivated you in an inexplicable way; the applications this has to the human race as a whole really piqued your interest.
  Philosophical topics was something you dabbled in on occasion but the discussion between good and evil being a force out of the individual control of a person and, instead, determined by forces beyond comprehension did cause some discussion between you and Ji-Ah. Mainly, are people born evil or is it an environmental thing?
  The fact that it had been written from numerous authors over the span of centuries was another aspect that only deepened your intrigue. How had authors, all from different parts of the globe and periods of time, collectively written something akin to a timeline of a novel? Realistically, the only thing the stories within the novel had in common was that they discussed the same topic in eerily similar detail just with different historical influences, but that only reinforced the entire philosophical debate of are people born evil.  
  Undeniably, ‘The Hidden War Within’ had wormed its way as a repetitive topic within your friendship and that enabled your obsession with the novel to grow until you were borderline desperate to possess it for yourself.  
  So, as you held it in your hands, tears of unfiltered happiness streamed down your face silently. “Thank-”   “You are very, very welcome,” she cut you off. Then, there was a pause on her line. “To repay me, if you’re feeling oh-so indebted to me, you have to come out with us for a drink tonight.” 
  You knew that the tender moment wouldn’t last long, not with Ji-Ah’s aversion to lengthy emotional situations. 
   Still, you sighed. 
  “Ji-Ah, you know I don’t drink.” You’d had a few in the past, curious to try it out but it never became anything more than just that - a new experience. Alcohol was off-putting to you, it just never tickled your fancy and after seeing what it can lead to… well, fair to say you’d rather stay away from the stuff. 
  Ji-Ah, bless her, was very accommodating to this particularity of yours and always ensured that you were as comfortable as possible at any social event. Hence why her next words weren’t a surprise, “You don’t have to drink-drink, but I am going to have lots of drink-drinks… if that’s okay with you?”
  You laughed softly, shaking your head lightly even though you knew she couldn’t see you. “I trust you, Ji-Ah. I know you’re responsible with it. It’s Jee-Won that I’m dreading, you know how she gets.” 
  Everyone knew how Jee-Won got after a few drinks, especially at a bar where there were plenty of young, ‘attractive’ men to scope out. Her fascination with picking out another guy at every social event was sad because she could quite easily find someone to truly love her and be loved by her. Alas, you might have to resign yourself to her drunken activities and pray that whoever she invited back to the table tonight would be decent and not equally as unhinged as she could be.
  On the other end of the phone call, you could basically hear her thinking of how to convince you to go and as painful as it was to admit to yourself, her persistence was slowly grating at your resilience. 
  The teddy bear sitting on your living room table was practically begging you with its plastic, unseeing eyes. Ji-Ah had bought you all of those gifts and… it was only one night, wasn’t it? And it was your birthday? Surely, it couldn’t be that bad…
  A heavy, resigned sigh escaped your lips and Ji-Ah practically squealed over the phone. 
  “See you at eight! You will not regret this, (Y/N).”
  Somehow, you already did.
──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
  It was her fault really that you were in this situation, really. She couldn’t possibly have expected anything different, right? 
  Maybe she did, maybe she expected you to resist, to battle it off as much as you could but her optimism would be her downfall. 
  The urge was just too mighty, the temptation too unbearable to deny and you, too unfortunately stubborn for your own good.
  Looking down at your tote bag, swimming with an array of different chocolates and a multitude of her favourite sweets, you grinned. She’d definitely kill you for buying these for her but words of thanks just weren’t satisfactory enough. Her gifts had quite literally made you cry; you needed to show her, rather than tell her, just how much you cherished her actions.
  Deep down, you knew that she knew that. It was also just fun to see the outrage on her face when you presented her with chocolates or some flowers whenever she’d gone out of her way to spoil you. 
  Deep down, you also knew that she knew that you knew she secretly likes her efforts being appreciated so much and it always makes for a phenomenal movie night whenever you shower her with a myriad of sweet and sugary specials (not that she’d ever admit to that).
  There was something missing from your horde of tradeable valuables and that was, in fact, a palette of different coloured flowers. With a subtle mischief to your stride, you made your way to your most trusted, dear florist ‘Life Rose On’.
  The name never fails to make you chuckle.
  On Jung-Hee owned the beautiful establishment and had been a friend of sorts since you moved to the area five years ago. When moving into your then-new apartment, you decided that the first step to making the space your own was to liven up each room with different colours and types of flowers. 
  Your idea worked like a charm and really helped to keep you motivated when unpacking. Jung-Hee very kindly took the time out of her day to help you hand select each individual flower (and entertained your ceaseless indecision); from that day, you always made sure to drop by whenever you were in town to say hello and to drop off some soju. The old lady was very open about her love for the stuff, even if you had no interest in it. 
  If it was for Jung-Hee, there’s not a lot you wouldn’t do. You loved the elderly lady like your own grandmother and would also lend a helping hand should she need it. 
  She was similar to you in the way that she always repaid you through gifts for your considerate actions - typically a free bouquet of your favourite flowers. 
  After a nice stroll through town, you reached the florist. 
  Unsurprisingly, the window display was stuffed to the brim with a myriad of floral beauties that looked like Mother Nature’s mosaic. Jung-Hee seriously knew how to capture an onlooker's attention and, judging from how many people you could see in the shop beyond the glazed window, she’d succeeded immensely.
  You crossed the street, navigating the crowd of people on the pavements. 
  You got so caught up in the masses of people that you failed to notice the raised step at the entrance of ‘Life Rose On’ and, ultimately, began falling to your doom.
  Letting out an embarrassing squeak of surprise, you braced yourself for the impact with the floor that… never came.
  Peeling your eyes open in mild confusion,  you barely suppressed your gasp of shock at the kind eyes of the stranger that had caught you. You both stayed in whatever position he’d caught you in - you were too out of it to process that properly - and took the opportunity to analyse each others’ face.
  He had the warmest eyes you’d ever seen, a gorgeous galaxy of chocolatey velvet wrapped up in his irises. His lips, parted ever so slightly and downturned, were rosey red and were porcelain in their appearance, flawless and beautiful. Delicate waves of dark hair lined his forehead and it took all of your energy not to reach up and smooth a stray strand out. 
  It felt like hours had passed with you looking into his eyes and examining his face. You couldn’t get enough, there was something so captivating about him, something that made you want to know more-
  Someone cleared their throat. Both you and the stranger were shocked out of your respective reveries and a light blush dusted your cheeks. The stranger seemed completely composed, in contrast. The person who’d cleared their throat was a customer trying to leave through the doorway but found it difficult with two humanoid obstacles in the way. You were happy to see that the lady wasn’t a regular, so she probably wouldn’t bump into her on another occasion. 
  Huffing at your distracted apology, the lady moved past you and the stranger and out of the florist. Now that you and the man were both standing by yourself and pointedly not tripping over some violent, unseen step, you struggled to maintain a neutral expression when you saw how tall he was compared to you. 
  He was easily six foot tall, and using the door as a substitute measuring tape you guessed that he might be slightly taller than that as well. You cursed yourself internally. Of all the people that had to see and catch you, why did it need to be this man? 
  “I am so sorry, are you alright?” You questioned with an apology written all over your face. 
  And, oh, if you thought his face was perfect, then his voice was enough to cause you to ascend. “I’m perfectly fine, are you alright?” how were you supposed to keep composed when his voice sounded like that. 
  Smiling self-deprecatingly, you responded, “I’m perfectly fine. Thank you for that.”
  “Don’t worry about it.” And you didn’t, not really. Not when he assured you so confidently that there was absolutely nothing to trouble yourself with. “Tell me your name.”
  Instinctually, you went to tell him but something held you back. Possibly the way he’d said it - a demand rather than a question. Possibly something else. Although, It struck you as odd that that was how he’d go about that topic but figuring it was largely irrelevant and most likely you were reading too much into things you gave him your name.
  “(Y/N),” he repeated, your name sliding off his tongue so heavenly. “My, how interesting. I used to know someone with the same name.”
  Your eyebrows raised in polite surprise. “Oh, really?”
  He smiled down at you but there was a pinch of something unpleasant weaved into his expression, “Yes. A very compelling woman, was she.” His sudden emotion made you mildly uncomfortable, feeling as though you’d unintentionally uprooted some harsh forgotten memories. 
  Before you could say anything, though, the man bowed to you. “Lovely to make your acquaintance, (Y/N). My name is Yunho.”
  Yunho. 
  You finally had a name to match his angelic face. It suited him perfectly.
  Smiling, a genuine, light-hearted one this time, you mirrored his bow before you both straightened and simply stood there, on the doorway to the shop, and gazed at each other silently. There was something about this man that made you search his eyes, the very deepest, darkest parts of his pupils to find his soul. You didn’t know what it was, but something inside of you said that Yunho was very unique.
  Very unique indeed.
──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
  Yunho and you had spoken for another twenty minutes before he’d had to leave.
  The entire time, you were hanging off of his every word and couldn’t quite escape the magnetism of his irises. There was something so captivating with the way he spoke; the words he chose, the tone in which they were woven but also how calming his deep voice was. And, oh, his eyes.
  You couldn’t stop thinking about them. 
  Glancing at your phone, the time read 13:26. That left you about six and a half hours before you had to be there, five hours before you had to get ready, four hours before you got some food and only two hours and a half before you went home. 
  Flowers were the last thing on your list, so once you’d picked out a personalised bouquet for Ji-Ah you’d be able to browse whatever other shops tickled your fancy and then go home, to get ready for your “night out”.
  The more you thought about it, the more you regretted your decision to go. Realistically, you’d most likely have a phenomenal time if you allowed yourself to indulge in the experience. But sitting on your living room table was the one thing you’d wanted for months; it was finally in your grasp and you couldn’t even read it until tomorrow (because you weren’t stupid, you won’t be leaving the club until two in the morning).
  Helplessly, you sighed. There was no way to escape your fate. It was inevitable. At least the flowers were pretty.
  ‘Life Rose On’ was, for lack of a better word, a labyrinth. The only reason you could get around as quick as you could was because you’d navigated its maze-like twists and turns for five years and, even then, when Jung-Hee decided that the shop was getting “too predictable”, she’d reorganise the entire shop so that any hope of save journey was futile. The woman loved to keep people on their toes, her distaste for monotony something you admired contrary to the perilous jungle that was her shop.
  The shop was bigger than it appeared; the bleak outside of the shop didn’t do its magnificent interior any justice. As soon as you entered the florists, an archway made entirely of Japanese Wisteria, Mandevilla and Clematis enveloped you with their sweet smells. Each climbing plant twisting so delicately around the foundations of the archway and certain pieces dangling down in a still, flowery downfall; the occasional petal falling to the ground made walking into the shop feel like you were stepping into another realm with only nature’s best caressing you lightly on their way down to join those who fell before them. 
  After the winding walkway, there was the option to take a left or a right turn. Both laid out to be the start of a rainbow - the beginning of each row included dark red roses, amaryllis to name a few and continued down the line with plants including sunflowers, bluebells and lavender. 
  On Jung-Hee loved a spectacle. She was only just getting started.
  The overall layout of the shop was circular. So, after making your choice of left or right, you would be brought to a turn that took you further towards the centre of the shop. Instead of beginning from red and going down the rainbow, Jung-Hee intricately places each and every flower on these stands to mirror the symbol of whatever season of the year it was. For example, for Valentine’s day, she had gathered the flowers and created a phenomenal display of plants made to look like a landscape of a couple sitting on a mountain, overlooking the horizon. 
  What made ‘Life Rose On’ so unique is that Jung-Hee’s life quite literally revolved around the shop and had dedicated her life to making the shop thrive. It was her family heirloom in a way. The building itself had been in her family for generations but she’s been the first to utilise it to its full potential and allow her family home to bloom to its fullest extent. 
  It was that same ideology that inspired her to make it a florist. Ever the poet, she said that every plant or flower sold was pollen and her customers were the bees, helplessly drawn to its beauty and coming to crave its offerings as sustenance. 
  “You will always be my favourite bee, my dear,” she always said. 
  “And you’ll always be my favourite flower,” you’d respond with an unrestrained smile on your face. 
  After the landscape aisles of the shop, you’d finally reach the centre where the cash register was. Dotted around it, however, were individual stands and displays of flowers that may not have been considered as suitable for the display chosen that month or were simply too big to be practical anywhere more confined. 
  And sitting at the cash register, looking effortlessly in her element would be Jung-Hee. 
  Except… she wasn’t there. A young man was sitting there instead, one you’d never heard of before, let alone seen. Jung-Hee had no children nor did she have any nephews of close relations to anyone of his description.
  You hadn’t seen his face yet, having turned right after the archway you’d reached the centre from behind the cash register so his back was turned to serve the small line of customers there, but you found it slightly odd that Jung-Hee wasn’t at the register she seemed to be glued to six days a week (it used to be seven but you managed to convince her to take Sunday off to look after herself, rather than others for once).
  Biting your lip slightly, you looked down at the collection of blue hyacinths and forget-me-nots you’d collected for Ji-Ah and contemplated coming back at a later date. There was nothing necessarily wrong with having a stranger in Jung-Hee’s place but you had brought along some small things you wanted to give her today and, evidently, you wouldn’t be able to do that. Ji-Ah would still have her flowers and chocolates and whatnot, but at a later date. 
  Thinking about it, it made more sense to kill two birds with one stone at a later date. You wouldn’t be able to give Ji-Ah the flowers until after they’d died anyway due to your schedules being unaligned after tonight and the florist you were looking for was nowhere to be seen.
  Then again…
  “Daisies would work wonderfully with those.” 
  You jolted and looked up to meet the eyes of one of the prettiest, most angelic people you’ve ever seen in your life. Internally, you were mildly shocked at how such a smooth, deep voice could match such an innocent face and yet, somehow the low baritone of his voice was as pleasurable to listen to as his eyes were to gaze into. 
  The irony of his rosy red lips wasn’t lost on you. 
  The man had a birthmark on his cheek, strands of parted black hair framed it like the most cherished picture. Because this man was a work of art, and he deserved to be framed for eternity. 
  Two men. Two heart-wrenchingly handsome men had crossed paths with you in less than twenty minutes. The first one you’d made a fool of yourself to. You’d be damned if you ruined this chance to redeem yourself, even if only to make yourself feel better,
  Meeting his eyes, you took a subtle breath to steel your nerves. “Do you think so? I was debating between purple tulips or just buying them as they are, but I see where you’re coming from.”
  Alright, a slight ramble perhaps but at least you didn’t stumble over your words (or your feet like with Yunho).
  The way his eyes twinkled with sudden interest gave you a bit of confidence. “An interesting choice, but don’t you think the contrast of the daisy’s white petals against the darker purples and blues would only add to the beauty of them all?”
  Contemplatively, you looked down at your hands and imagined the picture he’d painted in your hand. It did make sense, actually. As he said, the contrast between dark and light made a very balanced, very alluring image inside your head. “Ah, you know what? You’re right, that would look lovely.”
  He leant back (you didn’t register when he’d closed a slight distance between you), and looked proud of himself. Dare you say it, the pleased expression he wore was adorable. 
  “I’m glad I could help. My name is Yeosang.”
  Yeosang.
   Just like when you learnt Yunho’s name, something felt so instinctively right about that. Not only did the name suit him perfectly but as though something thrumming underneath your skin calmed after learning his name. 
  “(Y/N), it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for your help, Yeosang-ssi,” you bow deeply so that he avoids seeing the blush dusted across your cheeks. You don’t know what it was, but there was something going on with you today. First Yunho, now Yeosang. Two complete strangers that had affected you more in two minutes than a lot of people had in two years. 
  “You’re very welcome, (Y/N).”
  Yeosang helped you to find however many daisies you wanted (six) and walked you to the register, all while making small talk. It was only when you saw him stand behind the counter rather than in the queue did you make the connection between the mysterious new worker and this kind stranger. 
  Lips parting softly, you placed the flowers into his outstretched hand for him to place them into the bouquet wrapping. “How long have you worked here?”
  His hands worked the ribbon around the patterned wrapping so expertly that you wondered how much practice he’d had at this. “I’ve been here for about two years this month.”
  Two years? Impossible, you would’ve run into him at some point with how frequently you visit the shop. And even if by the very small chance that hadn’t occurred, Jung-Hee would’ve told you of such a development. 
 “How come Jung-Hee never mentioned you?”
  At your question, his hands slowed momentarily but picked up from his slight hesitation as though nothing had happened. “You know Jung-Hee?”
  “I’ve known her for nearly five years now. She’s always been wonderful company and an even better friend.”
  He hummed thoughtfully, “I find it odd she never mentioned me, I must admit.” Finishing wrapping the flowers up, he made eye contact with you again and the sudden tenseness and mild hostility you found in them caught you off guard. “She and I have a very complicated relationship but one that I cherish, nonetheless.”
  You waited for a few seconds for him to elaborate but once he remained silent for the same amount of time, it became clear he wasn’t going to answer further. 
  A part of you still wanted to know where Jung-Hee was today, and you were about to ask when he reached down to something on the shielded side of the counter, hidden from your view. 
  Bringing his hand up, you saw that he’d picked a singular purple rose. He twirled it in his hand for a bit, admiring its rare beauty, before making eye contact with you once again. Slowly, as though giving you the opportunity to step back should you wish, he raised the rose to your head and tucked it gently behind your ear.
   His hand lingered by your cheek for a second longer than it should’ve, especially considering the short amount of time you’d known him… but, you’d be lying if you said that closeness, even the faintest amount of it, wasn’t the best thing you’d experienced in a long, long time. 
  Appearing reluctant, he pulled back. “Goodbye, (Y/N). I hope I’ll see you again soon.” His voice was a whisper but carried the weight of a winter wind. 
  You couldn’t help the blush that spread across your cheeks. If the slight twitching of his lips was anything to go by, he was well aware of the effect he had on you. 
  You met his eyes, the look he was giving you so tender it made saying this goodbye almost unbearable. “Goodbye, Yeosang.”
  After leaving the innermost circle of the shop, you felt like a weight was settling off of your lungs. You didn’t even recognise how difficult it had become to breathe there, nor had you recognize how unexplainably painful it was to depart from Yeosang only after knowing him for fifteen minutes.
    A rush of something euphoric had spread through you after he’d given you the flower, and coupled with the barest touch to your cheek your emotions had been sent tumbling. You stepped out of the shop and, for the first time in a long time, felt like there was something more to your life again. As though you’d found your purpose.
  Oh, how little you knew.
──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──
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xxsabitoxx · 11 months
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As a late birthday gift for @renhoeku - here are some Sugar Daddy Satoru thoughts... cause why tf not
First of all, Satoru wouldn't be in it to gain anything, truly. He can't even begin to describe what it is about you that is just so... intoxicating to him. He wants you, sure he does, but what he wants to do more is spoil the fuck out of you. Something about you drives him absolutely wild. Maybe it's the way you smile at him, or maybe it's the way you get so excited when talking about the things you love, he can't quite place his finger on it but it makes his heart do backflips.
Satoru isn't subtle with his offer to you, stating very bluntly that he wants you to be his sugar baby - nothing in return, no catches, nothing you need to repay - he just wants to spoil you the way you deserve to be spoiled. The first time he takes you out shopping, he finds it utterly adorable that you are so hesitant to pick things out. So, he observes you closely, following you around each store you enter and noting the items you admire before inevitably telling him there is nothing there you want. Lies, of course, but you aren't used to someone being so willing to drop tens of thousands of dollars on you in one day.
Satoru drags you back to every store you "didn't want anything" in and calls over an employee. You're stunned to silence when Satoru requests to buy every single item you had been wistfully observing. When I tell you he has no limits either? Doesn't matter if it was a $2 hand sanitizer or a $15k purse, he's buying it with no hesitation. He doesn't care what he buys, so long as you are happy. A new wardrobe, perfumes, accessories, makeup, hair products, shoes, books, art supplies, collectibles, food, whatever the hell your heart desires - Satoru is buying it with a smile on his face.
He's addicted to how your eyes light up, every single time, without fail. He can't get enough of your sweet "thank you!" and the little kisses you give him after. He can't help but laugh when you jokingly ask him if there is anything he wants in return. He's honest with his answers when he boldly claims that you and your smile are all he desires. The way your eyes widen, the small gasp that leaves you, it makes his heart flutter with need.
18+ content below the cut~
Satoru refuses to initiate anything romantic with you. Not because he doesn't want to - because fuck does he want to - but because he doesn't want you thinking he's only doing this to earn your love.
Lucky for him, it's impossible for you to not catch feelings. You can tell he's genuine, even though you had your doubts at first. You were delighted to know that Satoru really was doing this because he wanted to, not because he had something to gain.
So, one night, after months of this "sugar daddy" relationship, you finally decided to return the favor to him. Even though you knew he would get mad at you for it, you bought yourself the prettiest lingerie you could afford with your own money. You got it in his favorite color and put it on under a little dress that hugged your body perfectly. Your plan was to seduce him, and reward him for treating you like a goddess these past few months. When he got home from work that night, he was surprised to see you sitting on his couch dressed in the most jaw dropping attire he had ever seen
"What's this?" Satoru murmured softly, cheeks flushing pink as you got up and sauntered over to him. His blew eyes were locked on the dangerous sway of your hips. "It's my treat to you, Toru~. You've been treating me so well, I want to return the favor." "You know you don't have to... I made it clear I was doing this because I wanted to..." He didn't want you to feel obligated to return the favor in any capacity. But, you shushed him, placing a delicate hand on his bicep. "I told you, Toru, I want to do this... I've been wanting to for a while now... you deserve it."
He was sold, the little self-restraint he had went flying out the window after you uttered those pretty words. Satoru ended up taking you then and there on his way too-expensive white couch. He had teased you the whole time, telling you it would be a shame if you were to ruin his furniture with your arousal. All the while he was praising you for knowing him so well, actually taking the time to admire your body in the lingerie before tearing it off of you. You had told him you bought it yourself, laughing as he scolded you - marking your neck with his teeth before whispering about how he'd repay you for it.
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dorothy16 · 2 years
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alancummingreally Today is my 58th birthday and I want to tell you about something I recently did for myself.
I returned my OBE. Fourteen years ago, I was incredibly grateful to receive it in the 2009 Queen’s birthday honours list, for it was awarded not just for my job as an actor but ‘for activism for equal rights for the gay and lesbian community, USA’. Back then the Defence of Marriage Act ensured that same sex couples couldn’t get married or enjoy the same basic legal rights as straight people, and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ensured that openly gay, lesbian or bisexual people were barred from serving in the military. (Incidentally both these policies were instituted by the Clinton administration). This is the statement I made at the time: ‘I am really shocked and delighted to receive this honour. I am especially happy to be honoured for my activism as much as for my work. The fight for equality for the LGBT community in the US is something I am very passionate about, and I see this honour as encouragement to go on fighting for what I believe is right and for what I take for granted as a UK citizen. Thank you to the Queen and those who make up her Birthday honours list for bringing attention to the inaction of the US government on this issue. It makes me very proud to be British, and galvanised as an American’. The Queen’s death and the ensuing conversations about the role of monarchy and especially the way the British Empire profited at the expense (and death) of indigenous peoples across the world really opened my eyes. Also, thankfully, times and laws in the US have changed, and the great good the award brought to the LGBTQ+ cause back in 2009 is now less potent than the misgivings I have being associated with the toxicity of empire (OBE stands for Officer of the British Empire). So I returned my award, explained my reasons and reiterated my great gratitude for being given it in the first place. I’m now back to being plain old Alan Cumming again. Happy birthday to me!
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lets-get-saucy · 6 months
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Collecting Strays - Kelley O’Hara X Reader (platonic)
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Summary: Miss Kelley is known for making friends with younger players and taking them under her wing. When she notices you, a rookie at Gotham, are having a bad day, she does what she can to make you feel better, adding you to her collection of younger players she looks out for.
Warnings: slight angst  
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It had been less than a month since you signed with Gotham. Just a few short weeks ago your mom had helped you move in to your new apartment and get set up in this new city. At first everything was fine. You seemed to fit in well with the team making a few friends with your fellow teammates.
One in particular was Kelley O’Hara. One your very first day with Gotham, Kelley took you under her wing, showing you around, giving you tips during training, and just being a supportive teammate.
Normally, you were excited for practice but today you just couldn’t muster up the energy to even try to seem excited to be there. First, your coffee had spilt in your car leaving you un-caffeinated. Then, you couldn’t stop shivering as you walked outside to the training pitch. The wind was blowing in your face making you even colder despite the training jacket you had on. The sky seemed to get greyer and greyer as training went on. You also weren’t playing as well as you could.
At the end of practice you took a deep breath, not wanting your teammates to see you cry. Showering as quickly as possible and throwing on clothes, you quickly made your way out of the changing room trying to avoid conversation.
Today was just a hard day, your teammates didn’t need to know that.
You were halfway out the building when a hand on your shoulder stopped you.
“Hey kid,” Kelley said turning you to face her, “what’s up? You’ve been off all day.”
You try to shrug off Kelley’s hand, not bothering to take your eyes off the floor.
“Nothing’s up, I’m just having an off day,” you lie.
“That’s not going to work with me kid,” Kelley crossed her arms in front of her.
Still not looking up you just shrug in response.
“Come on, your gonna come over to my place,” Kelley demanded pushing you towards the door.
“Kelley, really I’m fine I just want to go back to my apartment,” you try and pull away from her.
“Spending an hour at my apartment wont kill you,” Kelley said practically dragging you to her car.
That’s how you ended up on Kelley’s couch, hot chocolate in hand watching some random show.
“So, you want to talk about it yet?” Kelley ask, once you finish your drink setting down.
“No, not really,” you say, turning your attention back to the tv.
Kelley lets out an exaggerated sigh, causing you to roll your eyes.
“I told you early, I’m fine.” Looking over Kelly arches an eyebrow, causing you to sigh this time. “Okay, it’s my mom’s birthday and I miss home and I miss my dog and I really wish I could be there celebrating with everyone and I love it here but…”
Kelley cuts you off “woah, take a deep breath,” pulling you into a hug you burry your face in her neck wrapping your arms around the older woman.
You hadn’t realized you were crying but now it felt like you couldn’t stop.
“I miss home,” you whimper in Kelley’s embrace.
“Shh, I know,” she says rubbing your back. “I know.”
You don’t know how long you to stay like that. With you practically in Kelley’s lap letting it all out as she runs her fingers through your hair and rubs your back, holding you until you calm down.
Once she notices your sobs had stopped Kelley pulls back slightly, wiping your tears away.
“I know its hard,” she says her thumb stroking your cheek. “I wont lie to you and tell you it gets easier. In this profession, you’re always going to miss something. Birthdays, holidays, weddings, but you get so much more and make so many amazing memories and travel to new places, it’ll make it worth it. I’m sorry you miss home but just know this team is here for you. I’m here for you.”
Fresh tears make its way down your cheeks and you whip at them with your shirt sleeve. “Thank you Kelley. Not just for today but for being there for me even when I first joined the team.”
“Of course” Kelley smiled pulling you in for a hug. “Now how about we get some ice cream, ice creams guaranteed to make anyone happy.”
You laugh for probably the first time today, “okay.”
It had been a few hours since your breakdown to Kelley but you were still in her apartment. A knock at the door startled you both. Kelley rolled her eyes when a familiar voice called out. You could tell that a few people were outside, namely Rose and Sonnett, but you couldn’t tell who else.
At first you had thought Kelley had invited them over but when someone knocked Kelley rolled her eyes mumbling how some people just wouldn’t leave her alone as she went to open the door. You knew her annoyance was fake though when Jenna walked through the door Jenna launched herself at Kelley. Kelley picked her up spinning the younger girl around. Rose and Sonnett followed behind walking into Kelley's apartment. You smiled in greeting to your teammates.
Sonnett and Rose made their way into the living room, saying quick hellos as Kelley sat Jenna back down on her feet.
“You guys ate ice cream without us,” Sonnett frowned when she noticed the two empty bowls on the coffee table.
“Ice creams for invited guest only,” Kelley said following Jenna and Rose into the living room.
“I’m hurt Miss Kelley,” Sonnett placed a hand over her heart pretending to be offended.
“What are you guys watching,” Rose said sitting down between you and Sonnett.
“Just some trash reality tv show,” You said causing Kelley to scoff.
“First, they barge in then you insult the tv shows I watch.”
“We should watch a movie,” Jenna interrupts as she squeezes herself in between Sonnett and Rose.
“I agree,” Sonnett picks up the remote, looking for a movie to watch.
“You guys know this is my apartment, right?” Kelley is still standing, her hands on her hips looking at all of you.
“Please Miss Kelley? That show was boring,” you stick out your bottom lip, giving Kelley the best puppy-dog eyes you can.
“Sonnett, look what you’ve taught her,” Kelley gasp causing the room to laugh. “My sweet innocent baby calling me Miss Kelley.”
Kelley pinches your cheeks, swatting at her hands trying to get her to stop as the others laugh at you two. “I’m not a baby,” you pout.
“You’re one of the youngest on the team, of course you’re a baby,” Kelley says finally sitting down next to you pulling you into her side.
You cross your arms sinking back into the couch.
“Does that mean I’ve been upgraded Miss Kelley?” Jenna ask leaning forward to look at Kelley.
“Ugh not you too,” Kelley groans covering her face with her hands.
“Shh guys, Sonnett picked a movie,” Rose said kicking her feet up on the coffee table.
The movie started and everyone was quite watching as the opening credits came on the screen.
“Wait!” Jenna stood up from the couch, walking to the kitchen. “We need popcorn.”
After the movie, Sonnett, Rose, and Jenna started getting their things together.
“Thanks Miss Kelley for letting us crash your place,” Jenna said pressing a kiss to Kelley’s cheeks.
“Yeah yeah,” Kelley said taking empty bowls to the kitchen.
A chorus of byes followed as the other women made their way out of Kelley’s apartment, leaving just you and her. You grabbed the remaining bowls from the coffee table, taking them to the kitchen.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Kelley said taking them from your hands.
“It’s okay, it’s the least I can do since you let me stay here all day,” you shrugged.
“If I remember correctly, I had to drag you to my car earlier,” you roll your eyes at Kelley’s response.
You lean against the counter as Kelley loads her dishwasher, “about that, how am I getting to my apartment?”
“Why don’t you just stay her tonight and I’ll drive us to training in the morning?”
You try to come up with an excuse but you don’t have one and you don’t really want to be alone right now any ways.
Nodding, your wrap your arms around yourself, “okay, thanks.”
“Yeah its no problem,” Kelley says giving you a soft smile.
Now that a few hours had gone by you realized you weren’t sad anymore, or as sad. Kelley had succeeded in taking your mind off things. You didn’t realize how desperately you had needed the company. If you hadn’t come over to Kelley’s you would have probably gone back to your apartment after practice and spent all day crying in your bed.
“No Kelley, I mean thank you, for today,” you admit. “I really needed this.”
“I know kid,” Kelley says pulling you in for a hug.
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