chicagoredline

[paddockletters]

style pit stop | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x reader summary: Max lets y/n dress him up for a change, showing off a new look at the paddock author´s note: first story with Max, and you have no idea how much I enjoyed it! I've been wanting to write for him for a while, and well, I loved the result and hope you do too.

It started as a casual comment during breakfast in our hotel room, the sun pouring through the windows, illuminating the crisp white sheets of our bed. Max and I were preparing for the upcoming race weekend, and the atmosphere was light, filled with the excitement that always accompanied a race.

“Max, I swear your entire closet is just Red Bull jackets, white T-shirts, and jeans. Nothing else,” I said, leaning over the table, eyeing his typical outfit of the day.

 “I happen to think I’ve got a classic style. Simple and effective.” Max raised an eyebrow, feigning offense.

 “Simple is an understatement. I mean, even AlphaTauri has given you all this fancy stuff to try, and you just let it sit there. Have you even worn half of it?” I rolled my eyes playfully.

“What am I supposed to do with half of that? Wear it to a race? You’d just laugh.” He shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee

“Of course I’d laugh!” I retorted, grinning. “But I’d also help you look better. Bet you wouldn’t let me dress you for one day, then. Try something different.”

 “Fine. I’ll take your bet. But if anyone laughs, you’re paying for dinner.” Max chuckled, clearly intrigued.

Within minutes, I was rummaging through his suitcase, pulling out the neglected AlphaTauri clothes he claimed were “too much effort” to style. I held up a pristine white button-up and slim-fit black trousers, a sleek gray turtleneck, and a pair of black boots that had clearly never seen the light of day.

“Look at this! You could rock this outfit!” I said, holding the turtleneck against his chest.

Max gave me a skeptical look as he reluctantly pulled it on, but I couldn't help grinning as he finally stood up. The way it hugged his frame was… honestly, distracting.

 “It feels kind of tight.” He turned to the mirror, tugging at the sleeves.

“It’s supposed to fit,” I insisted, smirking. “Now, for the trousers.”

Max fumbled a bit with the slim black pants, grumbling as he zipped them up.

“I look like I’m about to go to some fancy dinner,” he complained, though I could see he was beginning to enjoy the attention.

“Exactly the point,” I replied, holding up the leather boots. “And these. They’ll add a bit of height too.”

He scoffed but slipped them on anyway, taking a few exaggerated steps around the room like he was testing new racing boots.

“Happy now?”

“Very,” I replied, snapping a quick photo. “Now let’s get to the paddock before you change your mind.”

The reaction at the paddock was priceless. As soon as we stepped in, Lando spotted us and nearly choked on his coffee, doing a double-take.

“Wait, Max… are you actually dressed up? Did y/n have a part in this?”

“Blame her,” Max said, giving me a mock glare.

“Mate, I didn’t even know you owned a turtleneck. You look like you’re about to do a TED Talk.” Lando circled him, taking in the outfit.

“Or go to a very exclusive dinner,” Pierre teased, coming up next to us, flashing me a grin. “Nice work, y/n. About time someone taught him some style.”

 “Alright, you’ve all had your fun. Can we please get back to normal now?” Max rolled his eyes, giving me a helpless look.

“Oh, no way,” I laughed, linking my arm with his. “You’re keeping it on all day. And just think, you’re setting new fashion standards for the grid.”

As we entered the Red Bull hospitality, the reactions came in waves: team members did double takes, fans gasped, and then there was Checo, who took one look at Max and immediately burst into laughter.

“Dios mío, Max! I didn’t even recognize you,” Checo said, giving me a grin. “So, y/n finally got her way?”

“Finally?” I echoed, pretending to be offended. “Please, Checo. It wasn’t even that hard. A little style goes a long way.” 

Christian strolled over, eyebrows raised as he took in Max’s look.

“Well, well, Max, didn’t know you had it in you,” he joked, clapping Max on the back. “AlphaTauri’s sales will skyrocket after today. You could be their new poster boy.”

“Honestly, I think we should get her to dress all the drivers. Just imagine how well AlphaTauri would sell with these outfits!” Checo chimed in, a teasing glint in his eyes.

 “I’ll dress all of you if you want. Just wait until I’m done with Max.” I laughed, joining in the fun.

“You’re all too easily impressed. But maybe y/n should take her fashion skills elsewhere and help Checo. He could use the help.” Max smirked, glancing at me

“Oh no, Max, you’re on your own with this one. Besides, I doubt I could pull off the ‘turtleneck model’ look as well as you.” Checo raised his hands in defence, shaking his head with a laugh.

I snickered, nudging Checo playfully.

“Are you sure? I was thinking I could start dressing you and Max in matching outfits. You know, really take this team bonding to the next level.”

Max chuckled, draping an arm around my shoulders.

“You hear that, Checo? Get ready. Y/N’s got big plans for you, too.”

 “If this turns into some kind of Red Bull makeover challenge, I’m blaming both of you.” Christian couldn’t contain his laughter, shaking his head.

Checo leaned in, stage-whispering to me.

“Just don’t let her get me in that turtleneck, okay? I have a reputation to keep.”

“Noted,” I replied with a wink. “But we’ll see what I can do.”

By the time we reached the main area, I was wearing his oversized Red Bull jacket, practically swimming in it, while he strutted around in his AlphaTauri ensemble.

Fans caught on quickly, cameras flashing as they captured the two of us walking arm in arm, with Max.

“Look, there’s your fan club,” I teased, nudging him playfully as we passed a group of fans eagerly pointing their cameras at him.

Max smirked, leaning down to whisper. “I bet they wish I’d dress like this all the time.”

We reached his garage, and one of the engineers gave him an approving nod.

“You clean up well, Verstappen,” he commented, giving me a grin. “And y/n, you’re pulling off the Red Bull look better than he does.”

 “Unbelievable. I get roasted in my own team garage?” Max pretended to be offended.

“You’re the one who agreed to this!” I teased, nudging him as we walked further inside.

He shook his head, pulling me closer. “Just remember this next time you’re insisting I need more ‘style.’ I went through a whole day looking like some model just to prove you wrong.”

“Oh, please,” I laughed, leaning into him. “Admit it—you loved it.”

Max grinned, brushing a quick kiss to my temple. “Maybe. But only because I have you to make it fun.”

[wileys-russo]

Alessia Russo, "i want you, nobody else" at a party

prized cow II a.russo

"what about her? or him? or her? or her? or him?" you rolled your eyes at the younger girls insistent pointing, smacking her hand down and shaking your head.

"none of them?" vic gasped in shock, two drinks too many having her squinting up at you as you couldn't help but chuckle. "no shock you're single mate, standards are too high." kyra added on with a tut as you shoved her where you were stuck sat between them.

"its not them-" "-its you!" kyra and vic chimed out in sync, sharing a look and bursting out laughing causing your cheeks to heat up bright red. "shut up! i'm not that predictable. am i?" you mumbled, necking your drink as the dutch beside you patted your leg.

"you are." both of them spoke in sync again, their loud rambunctious laughter having you wince, thankfully drowned out by the thundering bass pumping in the club you'd all met up at for katies birthday.

thing one and thing two still continuing on their mission to hook you up with a stranger, something you'd long given up begging them to stop, you caught lia's eye across the room as she glanced over, giving her a pleading look which had her lips curling in amusement.

"you two!" the girls beside you fell silent as the swiss appeared, giving them a stern look and pointing her thumb behind her, how quickly vic and kyra cleared off making you grin as lia replaced them sitting beside you.

"what is wrong hm? you have been sat here all night!" lia questioned as you snaked a mouthful of her drink before she snatched it away. "i have not! i was dancing with your girlfriend and laia just ten minutes ago. the girlfriend you haven't even told half the team about!" you teased as she gave you a look.

"stop deflecting." "i am not!"

another look.

"fine. i'm just sick of everyone trying to set me up with someone, why won't they just mind their own business and leave my love life to me?" you huffed moodily, crossing one leg over the other and exhaling.

"they're just trying to help-" "i don't need help! i'm happy, i am." you pushed with a frown, lia slinging an arm over you as you sighed and leaned into her.

"i will have a word to the girls about backing off." the older girl murmured, pinching your cheek as a small smile crept back onto your face. "thank you." you gave her a side hug, a sense of relief beginning to settle in.

"besides. i already told you, ana is single!" you leapt away from the swiss with a grimace on your face. "lia!" you huffed in betrayal as she grinned, downing the last of her drink.

"only joking." she assured patting your knee and starting to stand to head over to the bar. "you are not her type anyway!" the swiss winked, disappearing to grab another drink as you shouted after her and flipped her off.

catching kyra and vic speaking to rosa you noticed all three seemed to be trying to sneak glances over to you, and not wanting to wait around and see what they were plotting you quickly stood and made a beeline toward the bathroom.

once inside you exhaled heavily, the moment the door slammed behind you the quiet that followed much needed to help you clear your head as you started toward the sink.

before you could even take another breath the door banged open again, a blonde blur zooming through and slamming it closed after herself as bright blue eyes met yours.

"hi." "hi."

you couldn't help but smile as you noticed the slight blush on her cheeks, the same you could feel creeping up the back of your neck as she stepped closer.

"i feel like i haven't seen you all night." alessia pondered, her fingers nudging yours where your arm by your side and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the bolts of electricity which shot up at your arm at her touch.

"i've been avoiding you." you spoke bluntly, her face falling before she noticed your grin and her eyes rolled. "hilarious." she muttered sarcastically, shoving you and smiling down at the floor as the pair of you stood side by side leant against the sink.

"has kyra been bothering you?" alessia questioned softly, and you could feel her concerned gaze pan over the side of your face but as soon as you turned to look back at her it was trained to the floor again.

"jealous?" you smiled softly, bumping your shoulder gently into hers, your fingers now brushing against hers where your hands hung side by side, pinkies slowly intertwining making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"no!" alessia answered quickly, the two of you finally sharing a look and a grin before returning your gazes to the tiled floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.

"she's been trying to sell me off like a prized cow, vic too." you chuckled, the electricity bolts returning as alessia now properly took your hand in hers.

"well now i'm jealous." alessia admitted quietly though you didn't miss the way her lips curled upward. "should be, i'm worth a fair bit of money russo." you teased softly, squeezing her hand and bumping your hip into hers again.

"oh i know. who went shopping with you yesterday?" alessia challenged looking up as you scoffed. "i told you i would pay for my own stuff! but you-" you started to argue, a laugh and a pair of very familiar lips shutting you up as they pressed against yours.

"we could just tell them about us." you were again caught off guard by the words that followed, alessia's taller form caging you in against the counter you were pressed against, pulling away and speaking up.

"i thought you weren't ready yet? there's no pressure less, i know i said that stuff about kyra but-" again, cut off with pale pink lips moving against yours.

"well i've been thinking about it and we could start with just a few of our close friends, our parents have kept it hush." your girlfriend mused making you smile, her hand dropping yours as they both settled on your hips, yours winding around her neck.

"our friends mouths are much bigger than our families." you reminded with a snicker of amusement making the blonde chuckle. "well we have to start somewhere, and i think i'm ready. if you are!" alessia clarified quickly, worry flickering momentarily through her eyes as you nodded.

"i am. this is still...new, but i like it." you assured with a nod, pecking her lips twice and enjoying the way the tips of her ears reddened.

"new? babe its been two months!" alessia laughed as you rolled your eyes which flickered to the door as you thought you heard it open but it stayed closed.

"maybe, but its your first time dating a girl!" you reminded poking her nose as she rolled her eyes but nodded, unable to argue the fact that all of this had indeed been something new for the pair of you.

"well i am ready, at least for a few of the girls to know. i want you, nobody else." alessia assured as you blushed and she beamed, kissing your flushed cheeks.

"and then maybe they'll stop trying to sell you off like a prized cow." your girlfriend teased as you gasped, opening your mouth to tell her off but once more your words were swallowed by her lips locking with yours.

"you can't just kiss me to shut me up whenever you want you know?" "oh no? watch me."

[fleming-o]

new beginnings barca fem x teen reader

(i say barca but its kinda mostly alexia)

new home is always hard to get used to

HOMESICK AT ITS FINEST

also I can't write for my life so if this went in many directions than just one I'm sorry (heh one direction)

Moving houses was one thing, but moving across the world? That was something else entirely.

All my belongings were packed away, my house back home was empty, and every familiar wall and cozy corner was now just a memory. The thought of leaving my old life behind felt thrilling at first, but now? Now it just felt like a hollow ache.

Barcelona was beautiful, yes, but it didn’t feel like home. The narrow streets, the fast-paced Catalan, the city’s loud vibrancy—it was all so different. I’d dreamt of this chance with Barça for as long as I could remember, but I hadn’t expected the anxiety that seemed to follow me everywhere. I missed my family, my friends, even my favorite coffee spot. Here, I was just… drifting.

It had been two weeks since I arrived, but every time I walked into the training facility, that nervous twist in my stomach returned. Today, though, felt worse. I’d woken up feeling off—grumpy, tired, missing everything familiar. The physical exhaustion from the intense training was starting to catch up, and my heart felt heavy with homesickness.

“Bon dia!” Mapi’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I walked in. She grinned, giving me a cheerful wave.

“Hola, Mapi,” I mumbled, trying to return her energy, but I could feel my own voice sounding flat, tired.

She raised an eyebrow, looking a bit curious. “Hey, how’s the whole moving thing going?”

I shrugged, trying to keep it casual. “It’s… okay, I guess,” I said, grabbing my training gear. I didn’t want to admit just how lonely I felt.

Mapi opened her mouth to say something else, but then Ingrid walked up, giving Mapi a pointed look. “Maria, for the last time—stop taking my clothes,” she sighed, tugging on the collar of the hoodie Mapi was wearing.

Usually, their back-and-forth would make me laugh, but today, I just couldn’t muster the energy. I forced a small smile and stood, boots in hand. “I’ll be on the pitch,” I mumbled, heading outside before they could ask any more questions.

Out on the field, the other girls were already warming up together, chatting and laughing. I watched them for a moment, feeling a pang of isolation. It wasn’t that they were unfriendly—far from it. But they all seemed to have this easy camaraderie, this natural rhythm, that I couldn’t quite find my way into. I grabbed a ball and went to a quieter spot on the field, juggling and practicing on my own.

As I focused on the ball, the weight of everything I’d left behind came crashing down on me. I missed my mom’s hugs, my dad’s terrible jokes, the random texts from my friends.

Even just hearing English everywhere felt like something I’d taken for granted. Here, every day felt like I was fumbling, trying to catch up.

I didn’t even notice someone approaching until a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see Alexia standing there, her expression soft and curious.

“Mind if I join?” she asked, nodding toward the ball at my feet.

I shrugged, trying to shake off the sadness in my eyes. “Sure.”

We passed the ball back and forth in silence for a bit. Alexia didn’t press, just letting me be. After a while, she spoke up, keeping her voice gentle. “The team’s getting together tonight. At my place. You should come.”

I hesitated, not wanting to seem rude but also not feeling in the mood for a crowd. “I don’t know… I might just head home after training.”

She tilted her head, studying me. “I know it’s not easy, coming here and adjusting to everything. But you don’t have to do it alone, okay? You’ve got us.”

Her words hit something deep, making my chest tighten. It was as if she understood exactly what I was feeling without me having to say it. I managed a small nod, not trusting my voice to stay steady.

“Alright,” she said, a gentle smile breaking through. “No pressure. Just think about it, okay?”

After training, I found myself reluctantly heading to Alexia’s place. The team was already there, scattered around her cozy living room, laughing and sharing stories. I joined a small group with the younger players, including Jana and Claudia. They were swapping stories and cracking jokes, but the exhaustion and emotions from the day were catching up to me. Before long, I could feel my eyelids growing heavy.

As the evening wore on, the laughter echoed in my ears, but it felt distant, as if I was watching from a haze. I felt out of place, despite being surrounded by friends. I watched as Alexia flitted between groups, her laughter bright and infectious, and I found myself drawn to her, like a moth to a flame.

The laughter felt more distant, and the noise began to swirl around me, making it harder to breathe.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything—the unfamiliar faces, the bustling energy of the room, the tension in my chest—growing heavier. I needed to escape, if only for a moment. Excusing myself from the group, I slipped out of the living room and wandered down the hallway, searching for a quieter space.

I finally spotted a small, dimly lit room at the end of the hall. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me, and leaned against it, feeling the cool wood against my back. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions inside me.

“Hey, are you alright?”

I opened my eyes to find Alexia standing there, concern etched across her face. Her presence instantly made me feel a bit safer, but the nervousness still clawed at my insides.

“I… I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just so much. I thought I could handle it, but…”

Alexia stepped closer, her eyes softening as she listened. “Moving here can be overwhelming. It’s a big change, and it’s okay to feel off balance. You’re not alone in this.”

I felt a lump in my throat, her words wrapping around me like a warm blanket. I nodded slowly, the truth of her statement sinking in. It was comforting to know I didn’t have to navigate this by myself.

“I just miss home,” I confessed, feeling vulnerable. “I thought I’d be excited, but instead, it feels like I’m lost.”

Alexia moved to sit beside me on the floor, our backs against the door. “I get it. I moved away from my family, too. At first, it felt like everything I loved was far away. But it gets easier with time, especially when you have people around you who care.”

Her reassurance helped, though I still felt that tightness in my chest. “Sometimes, it feels like everyone else is so close and I’m just… out of place,” I admitted, glancing at her.

“Trust me, everyone feels that way at some point,” she said with a gentle smile. “Even the ones who look like they have it all together. It’s a process, and we’ll figure it out together. And you know what? You belong here. You’re part of this team now, and that means something.”

As her words wrapped around me, I took a deep breath, feeling a little of the weight lift. Being near her felt grounding. I could feel the tension slowly easing, replaced by a sense of safety I hadn’t expected to find.

“Thanks, Alexia,” I said, a shy smile breaking through my uncertainty. “It means a lot.”

“Anytime,” she replied, her eyes twinkling. “And hey, if you need a break from the craziness, you can always come find me, okay?”

We sat in comfortable silence for a moment, letting the chaos of the party fade away outside. I felt a sense of peace wash over me, grateful for this unexpected connection.

“Alright, let’s go back,” Alexia finally said, standing up and offering me her hand. “I promise, it’ll be fun. And if it gets too loud, we can always come back here.”

I took her hand, standing up beside her, feeling a flicker of hope ignite within me. Maybe I could find my place here after all.

“Okay,” I said, my heart feeling a little lighter. “Lead the way.”

As we stepped back into the living room, the laughter and chatter enveloped us again, but this time, I felt a little more ready to face it all—with Alexia by my side.

[akutasoda]

“diamond tiara crushed in two, my heaven crashes down for you”

synopsis - you are a royal, they aren't. would it be such a crime for them to be someone more than a companion of yours?

includes - argenti, aventurine, boothill, sunday, reca

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight crack, i have no clue what im doing, wc - 2.8k

a/n: ngl this only came about cause my fav artist dropped a new single... something else was inspired by that which idk if i want to work on that onrle rrr

argenti ★↷

↪argenti was once the commander of the knights that protected the region. well, he still was but now most of his time was spent beside you. as your very own personal knight.

↪it was agreed very widely that argenti was by far the best knight in the kingdom. so it was inevitable that he ended up in such a trusted position - and it was also safe to say that your safety was pretty much always guaranteed with him around.

↪naturally, he still held his title as the commander but spent most of his days by your side so normally he would put others in charge in his absence. although in honesty, argenti never minded.

↪argenti enjoyed his job as a knight, he liked helping people out and defending the kingdom he was proud to be part of. a part of him enjoyed the serenity of spending his days with you.

↪most of it tailoring to him following you around as you attended meetings and the occasional trips to the town. and even argenti had a bit more freedom as you always let him do what he wanted but even willingly, argenti would happily spend time with you.

– – –

you walked idly through the corridors, you had nothing to do as of late. bored out of your mind. your only real idea was to head out to the town and see if they had anything to satisfy your boredom, although to do so you thought it may be best to find argenti first.

you knew where to find him however. if you were going out you wanted him to accompany you, not just as your guard but as a companion - you didn't really need a guard in your opinion. but you quickly found the knight in the training grounds.

he was very dedicated to his training. it was always intriguing to you when you did catch him in action - in training or in a real life scenario. so you couldn't exactly help but take a seat nearby and watch as he trained.

you weren't trying to be creepy but it was interesting, and rather entrancing, so you watched. although you should've expected argenti to notice your presence as soon as you sat down. he huffed as he stopped swinging his ornate spear, stabilizing himself, he stopped and turned to you with a smile.

“is there something you need your highness?” argenti slowly walked closer to you and quickly noticed the flushed expression on your face at being caught.

you tried stammering out a response but quickly gave up and broke eye contact looking at the ground. argenti let out a small laugh, “if there's something you require of me, please do let me know”

eventually you managed to piece together a coherent sentence and explained how you wanted to go visit the town for a bit. argenti agreed, like he would ever not agree, and excused himself for a moment to get ready and don his armor.

argenti always loved when he got to accompany you anywhere. your presence was such a joy for him and a selfish part of him enjoyed knowing that he spent the most time with him - argenti knew you enjoyed his presence as well which always made his heart soar.

but he was merely your personal knight. he should be glad to be granted such a title, but when you take him by the hand and lead him to wherever you wanted with that smile on your face, he could convince himself that for a fleeting moment, you two were something more.

aventurine ★↷

↪a diplomatic representative of the stoneheart group who spent their time negotiating and delivering messages between various kingdoms. a neutral group who maintained positive relationships with all kingdoms to survive.

↪aventurine was always responsible for being sent to your kingdom, and so he would always make an appearance when your council met to discuss. a part of you was curious if he'd ever drop his position among the stonehearts to become a permanent member of your council.

↪he always had very valuable insights that always seemed to work towards bettering your kingdom as a whole rather than helping the relationship between the kingdom and the stonehearts. he also spent a decent amount of time rilling up your actual council members.

↪although, nowadays you noticed how he made more frequent visits to your kingdom, and specifically you. aventurine would occasionally come and find you just to drag you away from your duties and hang out - something you never actually minded, even if you should've..

– – –

aventurine walked through the lone halls of your residence, he found it almost laughable how easily the guards let him in, how much they trusted him. he could easily walk in with the wrong intentions and dismantle your kingdom from the inside out but you both knew he wouldn't. which was why he was here now.

bursting through your room's doors, you shot up from your paperwork before relaxing at the sight of the emissarie.

“hello to you too aventurine,” you briefly glanced over to your calendar “what are you doing here? seeing as we have no meetings…”

aventurine smiled as he sat himself on the corner of your desk “do i have to have a reason to see you?” he knew he didn't, he knew you'd always welcome his presence at any time.

“you know you don't want to be stuck here doing..” he looked at what was laid across your desk, making a vague shrugging motion “whatever that is, take a break! we can walk around for a bit!”

you knew you shouldn't listen to him, that he was a bad influence on you. but one look at your desk was enough to convince you that aventurine was right. you'd have even more work to do when you got back but who was going to tell you off? aventurine was definitely one of your best “advisors”.

he smiled when he watched you stand up and he followed suit, already talking about all the things that had happened since he last saw you (which was barely two days) and asking you about what you wanted to do.

suddenly your boring day filled with paperwork was actually going to be exciting, spent with someone you liked as more than one of your emissaries.

boothill ★↷

↪apart of a group of mercenaries known as the galaxy rangers. they take up whatever contract they agree with and pay the most of course. the “galaxy ranger” name is simply a convenient way of finding the best mercenaries in the regions - whether or not someone can get one to work for them is a different story.

↪boothill was once hired by a rivaling kingdom to bring down yours, he didn't exactly agree with his contractor but they did have rather deep pockets. that hesitation of his was what you used to save your kingdom. paying boothill more than what he had previously been offered.

↪and what better way to ensure your kingdom's safety than to constantly ensure boothill worked as a mercenary for your kingdom by paying him. it was a simple solution in your eyes and boothill wasn't going to complain.

↪although as time went on, boothill was seen less as a mercenary and more as a companion - seeing as you spent quite a bit of your free time talking with him and listening to his takes from traveling all over.

– – –

“so tell me again why i’m accompanying ya?” boothill poised as he watched you eye up some shop window displays

you hummed “because i gave argenti the day off for his hard work” turning to face him you continued, “and your nice company”

nice company huh? boothill would've never considered himself to be nice company for anyone but he wasn't going to argue your word. it wasn't entirely uncommon for you to drag him around the town when you were bored, always giving that same excuse or saying something along the lines of being blunt and just wanting to hang out.

boothill would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy this time with you. it was always peaceful, a nice respite from his daily activities - which admittedly became more calm themselves ever since you began paying him to be loyal to your kingdom.

even if you were to stop paying him, he reckoned that he would still never go against your kingdom. there was something about you that was enchanting to the mercenary, no wonder you were royalty. he could spend ages thinking about you, he had no clue why however.

boothill had no idea why he felt this way about you. you were just another stupid royal who was too big for their boots. and yet, he stuck around. he indulged in your conversations and requests, he genuinely enjoyed being around you and-

“say, why don't we stop for lunch on the way back?” your voice broke his chain of thought and that smile of yours practically rendered him entranced

“sure, your choice, your highness” and he reveled in your brightening smile that was caused by him, the one that made his knees weak and he couldn't care less about how you grabbed his hand and practically dragged him away.

sunday ★↷

↪the oh so prestigious high priest of the land. the one in charge of all the churches and so he had a spot on the royal council. not only as the main representative of the churches but also as an advisor.

↪he was a form of spokesperson for the people who confided their issues with him and some of his ideas had helped the kingdom greatly, so he definitely deserved a seat among your council

↪sunday was very reliable. he would always show up to meetings and always ensured that services within the church were planned and carried out to the nest they could be. a man devoted to fulfilling his role. although with how long you'd known him, he had a few flaws.

↪namely his “people problem”. not that he despised anyone but at times he could be quite uptight and rather condescending - namely when discussing with your other advisors which made for quite the trouble occasionally.

↪but you valued his advice and so he kept his position. although you also highly valued his companionship, something he would deny of but secretly indulge in your favoritism of him - like a bird preening in front of a mirror.

– – –

service had finished mere moments ago. sunday sighed and closed up his book as he kept an eye on the last couple stragglers exiting the sermon.

so he couldn't exactly miss the line figure that walked down the aisle to his position. in honesty, even if he did miss it then sunday would know it was you, after all you had developed the rather neglectful habit of visiting him after his services - neglectful as you were obviously shrugging away duties to be here.

his face resumed his stern look that he usually held before he addressed you “your highness, you know you mustn't be here”

but you both knew that even if he sounded annoyed he wasn't. you knew that he enjoyed your clear favoritism to the priest but he cared too much about appearances and positions to let it shine through, in your opinion.

“i don't think i do” you responded, sunday quickly picked up on that playful tone of yours, he knew what he was in for “would you mind enlightening me priest?”

oh aeons how he hated that dumb smile of yours. that stupidly pretty smile that made his heart skip a few beats. no, he couldn't let you break his act down so quickly, that would be embarrassing for him. so he collected himself and answered

“considering i enlightened you yesterday, i have no need to repeat. or is your memory that bad? if so i feel a trip to your healer is necessary then?” when he heard you grumble, he knew he'd managed to save his facade.

this wasn't exactly the first, or even the last, time that you slinked away to spend time with him when he had nothing going on. but you were the monarch. you had duties to attend to and so despite his true wishes of wanting this time with you, he always urged you to go back to your duties.

“fine then” you huffed “i'll be seeing you tomorrow then”

turning on your heel, you began leaving with a stumped sunday who was wracking his brain for any idea of what you meant behind you. but he couldn't think, so he had to ask

“what's tomorrow?” sunday hadn't got anything planned with you tomorrow, yes he had other things but nothing that you should've been aware of

you stopped in your tracks and turned around, feigning shock and hurt, you gasped “don't tell me you forgot! the meeting tomorrow?”

sunday paused, “but that's the day after, no? we agreed so at the last meet”

as soon as that smile of yours widened, it all clicked together in his head “oh it is? my.. well i already have a cleared schedule for that time.. wouldn't want to waste it?”

turning around again you continued, “so ill be seeing you at noon then” before walking away once more

sunday stood in confusion for a moment and before realizing fully and blurting out “you-” but you were already out of earshot, also missing the smile that crept onto his face.

reca ★↷

↪an infamous playwright who recently had taken residence in your kingdom. his plays were known far and wide by everyone, highly praised and honored. people always eagerly awaited even a whisper of what his new creation was.

↪and so naturally, you had become a patron of his. always sponsoring his plays as you were quite the fan yourself. whenever you saw that he had a new play that was being performed, you immediately cleared your schedule for that time and got your ticket - they were always in high demand.

↪reca was faltered that royalty such as yourself was so deeply invested in his writings and he greatly appreciated the sponsorship, it enabled his plays to reach greater heights. and so it was only natural that he started pandering some of his plays to you.

↪more based around subjects that he learnt you loved, your favorite troupes, anything you deemed intriguing and so on. of course, they all came out as hit plays but he knew they were slightly more special than just his average play.

– – –

reca stood from the sideline, hidden behind a deep maroon curtain, as his latest play came to an end. he watched as the actors he so desperately searched for took a bow as gifts were showered upon them for his characters he created for them.

but nowadays, he cared less about audience validation and more about a specific person - yes he still valued the opinion of anyone that saw his plays as that's what kept him going mostly but this play was special. he spent ages driving himself into sleep deprivation and stress trying to perfect it.

all because he tailored it for you.

his number one, and favorite, patron. he'd seen you take your seat and eagerly awaited your critique for his piece. reca wouldn't mind if you didn't pick up on the hints that it was tailored towards you, just as long as you enjoyed it. and his question was soon answered.

reca's ears perked up when he heard your voice call out to him. you shouldn't be backstage, but nobody would stop you. a confident smirk graced his face when you immediately starting rambling about specifics of his play, what you liked the most, how well it flowed etc etc.

he took your praise in strides, even more so when you poised him a question.

“oh! mr reca, you must tell me how you got inspiration for the main character!” you seemed so happy and so rene's smirked widened

“well if you must know your highness, it was about a special patron of mine” reca watched as your face twisted into something akin to confusion as you tried to figure out what that meant.

he nearly laughed when your expression portrayed a more shocked and embarrassed tone, you tried stammering out a sentence “so what about their lover-”

“well a writer must take some creative liberty, no? and one's subconscious might influence those decisions” he held back a laugh as your face flushed.

“your a tease mr reca” you huffed. and he only smiled back as you too let a smile creep onto your face.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[pucksandpower]

Collared

Day 29 → BDSM 💋 Toto Wolff

Warnings: 18+ content

Kinktober Masterlist

The bar pulses with low, red lights, casting shadows that stretch and bend with each flicker of the candles lining the tables. You sit quietly at the table, trying to focus on your breathing, the rhythmic pounding of the bass beneath your feet, the way the leather of your collar tightens just slightly around your throat every time you swallow.

It’s supposed to be comforting. A reminder. But tonight, it feels like a noose.

Across from you, your boyfriend — no, your Dom, the man who’s supposed to make you feel safe — leans back in his chair. His eyes are cold tonight, detached in a way they rarely are. You glance up at him, searching for something — anything — to read in his face. But he’s unreadable. The cool, collected mask he puts on when he’s decided to shut you out.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you anymore,” he says, his voice sharp enough to cut through the music. He leans forward, arms crossing over the table, as though the weight of his words needs extra support.

Your stomach drops.

“What do you mean?” You manage to ask, even though your voice wavers.

He sighs, rolling his eyes, and the way he does it makes you feel small. “You’re not … cut out for this. For us.” His eyes flick to the collar around your neck, a disgusted curl of his lip. “You’re a horrible submissive. You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

The words hit you like a physical blow. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. You want to argue, to explain, to tell him that you’re trying — you’ve always been trying. But the words stick in your throat like shards of glass, and instead, all you manage is a strangled, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry’s not enough,” he spits, loud enough for the tables around you to hear. He looks over his shoulder, and now you can feel the eyes on you. People are staring. Whispering. “You’ve embarrassed me for the last time. I’m taking my collar back.”

Your heart stops. “Wait-” But before you can finish, his hands are already at your throat, unclasping the leather with a precision that’s almost practiced. He holds it up, examining it like it’s some trivial thing, and then — God, no, please — he tosses it on the table like it means nothing.

Your knees give out. You don’t even realize you’ve fallen to the ground until you hear the gasps from the crowd around you. You try to get up, try to stop the tears, but the panic is rising in your chest, fast and hard, and suddenly you can’t breathe. Your hands fly to your throat, but the collar’s already gone. There’s nothing left. He took it.

You’re nothing.

Your chest tightens, your vision blurs, and the world around you fades to a dull roar. You think you hear his voice ��� maybe he’s still talking — but the words are swallowed by the pounding in your ears.

“Get up,” he snaps. “Jesus, you’re pathetic.”

The room tilts, and then someone’s hands are on your shoulders, strong and steady. Not his hands. Someone else. You blink through the tears, your head swimming, trying to focus on the tall figure looming over you.

Toto Wolff.

You know him instantly. Everyone does. He’s a legend in these circles — the Dom that no one can touch, no one can ever seem to get claimed by. And right now, he’s looking down at you like he’s going to destroy the man who just broke you.

Toto’s voice is low, but firm, addressing your ex with an authority that leaves no room for argument. “Get out.”

“What the fuck-” your ex starts, standing, but Toto’s hand is already raised, a warning.

“You don’t want to do this.” His eyes narrow, and there’s something so deadly in them that it makes the entire room go still. “Leave. Now.”

For a moment, it looks like your ex might fight back. His jaw clenches, fists tightening at his sides. But the weight of Toto’s presence is overwhelming, and slowly, too slowly, your ex stumbles back. He shoots one last hateful look at you, but it’s fleeting. He’s nothing here. Not anymore. He slinks away into the crowd, muttering under his breath, but you don’t hear it. You can’t hear anything.

You’re trembling. Still on the floor, your hands are cold, numb, clutching at your sides as though you might disappear if you let go.

Toto crouches in front of you, his hands hovering near you, but not touching. Not yet. He’s careful, respectful. “Breathe,” he says softly. His voice is steady, soothing, as though he’s done this a hundred times before. “I need you to breathe for me, okay?”

You nod, trying to take in a breath, but it catches in your throat. It’s too tight, too raw.

“I know,” he murmurs. “But you’re safe now. No one’s going to hurt you.” His hand brushes against your arm, and it’s warm, grounding you. “Can you stand?”

You don’t know. You’re not sure if your legs will work. But before you can answer, Toto’s already moving. Gently, he slides his arms around you, lifting you with an ease that makes you feel weightless. He cradles you against his chest, one hand resting on the back of your head, the other under your knees.

You bury your face in his shirt, and the tears come faster now. You can’t stop them. You’re shaking, the sobs wracking your body, but Toto holds you closer, murmuring something under his breath that you can’t quite hear. His heartbeat is steady against your ear, a metronome of safety in a world that just collapsed.

“Shh,” he soothes, his lips brushing against your hair. “It’s okay. Let it out. You’re okay.”

He carries you through the crowd, and you barely notice the way people step aside for him, the way they avert their eyes. He’s not just powerful here — he’s respected. Feared. No one would dare challenge him, not tonight. Not when he’s got you in his arms, broken and fragile.

Toto kicks open the door to a private room, the noise from the bar fading as he steps inside. It’s quiet here. Safe. He sets you down gently on a plush couch, kneeling in front of you, his hands still resting on your arms as though he’s afraid you might fall apart again.

“You’re safe,” he repeats, and this time, you believe him.

You wipe at your eyes, embarrassed by the tears. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m so-”

“Don’t.” His voice is soft, but firm. “You don’t apologize for this.”

You shake your head, struggling to find the right words. “I should’ve been better.”

Toto’s brow furrows, and for the first time, you see something like anger in his eyes — not at you, but at the thought of someone making you believe that. “No,” he says, and it’s almost a growl. “You were perfect. He didn’t deserve you.”

The weight of his words settles into your chest, and for the first time in what feels like hours, you take a full breath. It feels strange. Like maybe he’s right.

Toto studies you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours. Then, without breaking eye contact, he pulls a pillow from the couch and places it on the floor in front of him.

“You need to kneel?” He asks, his voice gentle. “For yourself?”

You nod, though you’re not entirely sure what you’re asking for. All you know is that the world feels unsteady, and you need something — anything — to hold onto.

Toto doesn’t hesitate. He helps you slide off the couch, guiding you to your knees, but not in a way that feels humiliating. It feels … right. Like maybe this is where you’re meant to be. At peace, for once.

He settles in front of you on the couch, his legs spread, his hands resting in his lap. “Look at me,” he says softly.

You lift your head, meeting his gaze. His eyes are dark, but there’s something tender in them, something that makes your heart ache in a way you can’t quite describe.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, and it’s the first time in hours that you feel like maybe — just maybe — everything will be okay.

***

Toto watches you closely, his eyes never leaving your face as you kneel before him. His expression is calm, steady — grounding. You’re still trembling, but the storm inside you is slowly starting to settle. The silence stretches between you, warm and safe, the first real calm you’ve felt in hours, maybe days. You’re breathing again, slower, more measured.

“Good,” he murmurs after a moment, his voice low, smooth as velvet. “You’re calmer now.”

You nod, unable to find the words, still reeling from everything that’s just happened. The weight of your ex’s cruelty, the embarrassment of being stripped of your collar in front of everyone—it’s all still sitting heavy in your chest, but with Toto here, holding your gaze with his strong, steady presence, it feels … manageable. Barely.

He’s quiet for a few moments, and then his voice cuts through the silence. “I need you to talk to me.” The command is there, laced through his words, but it’s gentle, coaxing.

“About what?” You ask, your voice shaky, unsure.

“About him. Your ex,” Toto says, his eyes narrowing slightly, though not at you. “What was that relationship, really? What did he do to you?”

You hesitate. The flood of emotions is still too fresh, and you’re not sure where to begin. Part of you wants to hide from it, shove it all down where it can’t hurt you anymore, but the way Toto looks at you—like he’s not just asking for your words, but for the truth—you find yourself unraveling.

“It wasn’t always like that,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. “Not at first.”

Toto tilts his head, watching you with careful, measured patience. “But it changed?”

You nod, swallowing hard. “He started getting … impatient with me. Like I could never be good enough, no matter what I did.” Your hands twist nervously in your lap, the shame crawling up your spine. “It didn’t matter how hard I tried, it was never enough for him.”

Toto’s jaw tightens, but his voice remains gentle. “What would he say?”

You blink back the tears threatening to fall again. “He’d tell me I wasn’t obedient enough. Or that I was too needy. Too emotional. He said I made him look bad in front of his friends.” The words spill out faster now, like once they started, there was no way to stop them. “I thought if I tried harder, if I just did better, he’d see that I was … I don’t know, worthy of him? But nothing ever changed. He just kept pushing me down. And I-” Your voice cracks. “I let him.”

Toto’s fingers twitch in his lap, as though he’s barely holding back the urge to reach out and pull you into his arms again. But he stays where he is, giving you the space to continue.

“How long were you with him?” He asks, his voice dipping low, as if he already knows the answer will hurt to hear.

“Two years,” you say, your voice small, like the weight of it is too much to bear. “Two years of trying to be good enough. Of hoping that one day he’d just — he’d see me.”

“And he never did,” Toto finishes softly, the understanding in his voice breaking something inside you.

You nod, the tears slipping free now, running hot down your cheeks. “No. He never did.”

Toto shifts forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees, and the intensity in his eyes softens. “You don’t have to be ashamed of that.”

You blink up at him, startled by the words. “I-I should’ve known better,” you whisper, your voice thick with self-blame. “I should’ve seen it sooner. I stayed too long.”

“No,” Toto says firmly, shaking his head. “You trusted him. That’s what you’re supposed to do in a relationship like that. You gave him your trust, and he abused it. That’s not on you.”

You look away, your chest tightening again. “I still feel like it is.”

Toto’s voice drops even lower, steady and unwavering. “Then you’re wrong.”

There’s something about the way he says it that makes you want to believe him. Maybe it’s the absolute certainty in his tone, or the way his gaze never wavers, but for the first time in what feels like forever, the self-doubt that’s been gnawing at you doesn’t feel so all-consuming.

You wipe at your cheeks, sniffling. “I don’t know what to do now,” you admit, the vulnerability in your voice both terrifying and strangely freeing. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

Toto’s brow furrows, his attention sharp, like he’s assessing a problem that needs solving. “What do you mean?” He asks, though there’s a note in his voice that suggests he’s already starting to piece it together.

You hesitate, shame creeping back up your throat. “He — he’s the only one on our lease,” you say slowly, the words bitter on your tongue. “He always said that as the Dom, he should have full control of everything. Our finances. Our apartment.” You let out a shaky breath. “I don’t have anything now. He made sure of that.”

Toto’s eyes darken, and for a moment, his hands clench into fists before he forces himself to relax again. “He controlled your money?”

You nod, feeling smaller than ever. “He said it was part of being a good submissive. That I had to trust him with everything.”

The silence between you is heavy, charged with an emotion you can’t quite place. But Toto doesn’t speak right away. He just watches you, the muscle in his jaw working as he processes what you’ve said.

Finally, he breaks the silence. “You’ll stay with me.”

You blink, surprised. “What?”

“You’re not going back there,” Toto says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “You’ll come with me. You’ll stay at my place until you get back on your feet.”

You shake your head, the shame overwhelming. “I can’t. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You won’t be,” Toto says, his voice as steady as ever. “You need a place to stay. I have more than enough room. And …” His eyes soften again, just slightly. “I’d rather you be somewhere safe. Somewhere you can heal.”

Your heart skips a beat at the word *safe*. It’s been so long since you’ve felt truly safe, since anyone’s cared enough to offer you a lifeline like this.

“But I don’t want to intrude,” you protest, still not fully convinced.

Toto leans forward, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. “You won’t be intruding. I’m offering this because I want to.” His voice lowers, a gentle but firm command. “Say yes.”

You open your mouth, but the words are tangled up inside you. There’s something so powerful in the way he speaks, in the way he sees you, that makes it hard to resist. Not that you want to. You want to say yes. You just … don’t know if you deserve it.

Toto must sense your hesitation, because he reaches out, resting one large hand on your knee. His touch is warm, solid, grounding you in a way you didn’t realize you needed.

“You’re not alone in this,” he says softly. “You don’t have to carry it by yourself anymore.”

The knot in your chest loosens just slightly, and you nod, unable to hold back the tears any longer. They fall, hot and fast, but this time, they’re not from fear or shame. They’re from relief. The kind that comes when you realize you don’t have to fight alone anymore.

“I’ll stay with you,” you whisper, the words feeling like a lifeline you didn’t know you needed.

Toto’s hand squeezes your knee gently. “Good girl.”

The praise hits you in a way that surprises you. It feels like balm on a wound, like maybe — just maybe — you’re not as broken as you thought you were.

Toto stands, towering over you for a moment before he offers you his hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

You take his hand, and he pulls you to your feet, steadying you with a hand on your back as you find your balance. The room feels smaller now, quieter, as though the storm that had been raging inside you has finally begun to calm.

Toto picks up your discarded collar from the table, turning it over in his hands for a moment before tucking it into his jacket pocket. “You won’t need this anymore.”

You nod, the weight of that statement not lost on you. It feels like a chapter closing, like you’re finally walking away from something that’s been holding you down for far too long.

Toto leads you out of the room, his hand still resting on your lower back, guiding you through the crowd that seems to part for him without a second thought. You keep your eyes forward, not daring to look at the faces that had watched your humiliation earlier. It doesn’t matter anymore. You’re leaving with Toto, and that’s all that matters now.

***

The guest bedroom is beautiful, opulent even — more luxurious than any place you’ve ever stayed. The bed is soft, the linens expensive, the walls tastefully decorated with muted tones. The space should feel safe, like the sanctuary Toto promised it would be. But sleep doesn’t come easy. It never does, not anymore.

You toss and turn under the sheets, your mind a storm of memories you can’t escape. The room may be beautiful, but your head is still trapped in the dark. You pull at the covers, kicking them off as your body grows restless, heat prickling at your skin. The emptiness at your throat burns, and you unconsciously reach up, fingers grazing your neck, searching for the collar that’s no longer there.

You find nothing but skin. Bare. Exposed. Unprotected.

The panic wells up before you can stop it. It surges in your chest, quick and violent, like you’re drowning in your own bed. You tug at your throat, pulling harder as if trying to force the collar back, trying to make yourself feel whole again. But it’s gone. He took it, and he left you with nothing.

In your sleep, you whimper, and the sound builds into a cry — frantic, desperate. You thrash against the sheets, tugging harder, scratching at your own neck. The empty space where your collar used to be feels like a gaping wound. You scream, raw and choked, and your hands fly to your throat again, nails digging into skin.

Suddenly, strong hands are on you — grabbing your wrists, pulling them away from your neck with firm, unyielding strength.

“Stop,” a voice commands, deep and steady.

You jolt awake, gasping, your heart hammering in your chest. The room is dark, unfamiliar, and for a moment, you don’t know where you are. Your breath comes in short, sharp bursts as you struggle to orient yourself.

“It’s okay,” the voice says, softer now, soothing. “You’re safe. I’m here.”

Toto.

Your eyes finally focus, and you see him crouched beside the bed, his large hands gently holding your wrists. His grip is strong but not painful—just enough to stop you from hurting yourself. He watches you with concern, his face bathed in the soft moonlight filtering through the curtains.

“I … I-” You choke on your words, your body shaking uncontrollably.

“You were dreaming,” he says softly, his voice a low murmur in the darkness. “You were hurting yourself. I had to stop you.”

You look down at your wrists, realizing how tight his grip had been. But it wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t like him. It was to protect you. Slowly, your breathing starts to steady, though the tremors in your body remain.

“I couldn’t breathe,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “It felt like I was choking …”

Toto’s expression hardens, but not with anger. There’s a deep sadness in his eyes, a kind of understanding that makes your heart ache. He releases your wrists slowly, carefully, as though he’s afraid you might break again. His hands linger near you, close enough to grab hold if you need him to.

“I shouldn’t have let you sleep alone,” he says quietly, almost to himself. He stands up, his tall frame towering over you, casting a shadow over the bed. “I thought … I thought you’d be okay.”

“I don’t know how to be okay,” you admit, the words spilling out before you can stop them. “I don’t know how to sleep without feeling like I’m falling apart.”

He watches you for a moment, and you can see the wheels turning in his head. There’s a decision forming in his eyes, a quiet resolve that you don’t fully understand yet.

“You need me to take control,” he says, his voice low and certain. It’s not a question — it’s a statement.

Your breath hitches in your throat, but you nod, unable to find the words. He knows. Somehow, he knows exactly what you need.

Toto moves with purpose, walking over to the nightstand. He opens the drawer with a smooth, deliberate motion, his eyes still on you, gauging your reaction. Inside, nestled among other carefully chosen tools, lies a paddle — sleek, polished, made of dark wood. He pulls it out, holding it in one hand as if testing its weight.

Your heart skips a beat. You know what this is. You’ve seen paddles before, felt them before. But there’s something different about this moment. The air between you shifts, thick with anticipation.

Toto steps back toward the bed, his presence commanding but not overwhelming. “You trust me?” He asks, his voice quiet but firm.

“Yes,” you whisper, your voice barely more than a breath. There’s no hesitation in your answer. You do trust him. More than you ever trusted anyone else.

“Good,” he says, satisfaction flickering across his face. “Then listen carefully. I’m going to help you, but you need to let me take over. No thinking. No questioning. Just do as I say. Can you do that?”

You nod, your heart racing, the tension inside you slowly unwinding at the promise of his control. The weight of your decisions, the confusion, the pain—it all feels lighter now, like maybe you can let go for just a moment and let him carry it.

“Words, liebling,” Toto says softly, reminding you with gentle authority. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes,” you reply, louder this time, your voice steadying. “I’ll do as you say.”

A faint smile touches his lips, approval shining in his eyes. “Good girl.”

He walks back to the side of the bed, motioning for you to sit up. “Get on your knees, facing the headboard.”

You comply without question, moving to the center of the bed and positioning yourself as he instructed. Your body feels tense, but it’s the kind of tension that promises release. You’re not scared—not of him. You trust him with every fiber of your being. The fear that had wrapped itself around you earlier is slowly unraveling, replaced by something else, something warmer.

Toto moves to stand beside you, the paddle still in his hand. He trails one finger down your spine, the lightest touch, but it sends a shiver through you. His voice is calm, deliberate. “You need to be reminded of what you’re worth. You need to feel it.”

You bite your lip, anticipation building in your chest. “Yes, sir.”

There’s a pause, and you can feel him watching you, reading you. “Do you know your safe word?” He asks, his voice quiet, but the seriousness of his question is undeniable.

You nod. “Red.”

Toto nods in approval, his eyes dark with focus. “Good. You say it if you need to.”

Then, without another word, he raises the paddle and brings it down against your ass — not too hard, but firm enough to send a jolt through you. The sound of wood meeting flesh fills the room, sharp and clear. You gasp, your body instinctively tensing, but the pain is quickly followed by a rush of warmth.

Toto leans down, his mouth close to your ear. “You can take this,” he murmurs. “You’re strong enough. You’ve always been strong enough.”

Another strike. Then another. The rhythm is slow, measured, and you find yourself sinking into it. Each smack of the paddle pulls you further from the chaos in your mind, grounding you in the present moment. There’s no room for doubt here, no space for the fear and confusion that usually haunt you.

It’s just you, him, and the steady beat of the paddle.

“You’re not broken,” he says between strikes, his voice steady and low. “You’re not weak. Don’t ever let anyone make you believe that.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but not from pain. It’s the words, the weight of them sinking in. For so long, you believed you were weak, that you were nothing without someone else to validate you. But now … now it feels different.

You feel different.

“Say it,” Toto commands, his voice firm. “Say you’re strong.”

“I’m strong,” you gasp, the words catching in your throat.

Another strike, harder this time, but the warmth it leaves behind spreads through you like a balm. “Again,” he orders.

“I’m strong,” you repeat, louder this time, the conviction in your voice growing.

Toto lowers the paddle for a moment, his hand resting on your back, warm and steady. “Good girl,” he murmurs. “You’re doing so well.”

You breathe deeply, the tension in your body slowly melting away. Each strike, each word of praise, is like a piece of the armor you didn’t know you were building. By the time he sets the paddle down, you feel lighter than you have in years.

Toto pulls you into his arms, guiding you back down onto the bed. You’re trembling, but it’s not from fear. It’s from release. From the overwhelming sense of safety that only he seems capable of giving you.

“You’re safe now,” he whispers, cradling you against his chest. “I’ve got you.”

And for the first time in a long time, you believe him. You’re safe. You’re strong. And with him, you can finally start to heal.

***

Morning light filters through the wide windows of Toto’s dining room, casting soft, golden hues across the hardwood floor. The house is quiet, serene in a way that makes you feel like you’re in a different world — far removed from the chaos of the night before. As you sit at the edge of the bed, still wrapped in the warm blankets from your sleep, the memory of Toto’s firm, steady control lingers, calming your racing thoughts.

You spent the night in his guest room, but not alone. After the paddle, after the soft words and the gentle touches, Toto stayed with you, holding you until you fell asleep, cocooned in the safety of his presence. It was the first time in what felt like forever that you didn’t wake up gasping for air.

Now, with the sun rising, you feel a strange mix of emotions. There’s a sense of peace you haven’t felt in so long, but there’s also a flicker of nervousness. You wonder what happens next. What does Toto expect from you now that the night is over?

Dressed in one of the soft robes Toto left for you, you make your way down the wide hallway, following the smell of coffee and something warm cooking. As you reach the dining room, you see him — Toto, seated at the long, polished table, a newspaper spread out in front of him and a plate of food waiting beside it.

He looks up as you enter, a small, knowing smile touching his lips. “Good morning,” he says, his voice deep and smooth, like the rumble of an engine. There’s a softness to his tone, a warmth that sets you at ease.

“Good morning,” you reply, shy but hopeful. You take a step toward the table, and then hesitate, biting your lip. The words are on the tip of your tongue, but you’re not sure how to say them. The air between you feels lighter, but still charged with the weight of everything that happened last night.

Toto tilts his head, sensing your hesitation. “What is it?” He asks, his eyes never leaving yours.

You swallow, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. It’s a simple request, but one that feels loaded with meaning. “May I …” You pause, gathering your courage. “May I kneel for you?”

For a moment, Toto says nothing, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he puts down the newspaper, folding it neatly and setting it aside. His eyes soften, and the faintest trace of a smile pulls at his lips. “Of course,” he says, his voice gentle but sure. “You don’t need to ask.”

Relief washes over you, and you feel your body relax as you move toward him. There’s something about kneeling for him that feels right — like it’s where you belong, like the world makes sense when you’re at his feet. You sink to your knees beside his chair, the cool floor beneath you grounding you as you settle into the familiar position.

Toto watches you carefully, his gaze filled with quiet admiration. “Good girl,” he murmurs, and the praise sends a rush of warmth through you, filling the hollow spaces left by doubt and fear.

You look up at him, your hands resting on your thighs, waiting for his next move. There’s no rush, no urgency — just the steady rhythm of your breathing and the quiet hum of the house around you.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, his voice low and intimate. It’s a simple question, but the way he asks it makes you feel seen, cared for. Not like an obligation, but like someone who matters.

You nod, your stomach fluttering. “Yes, sir.”

Toto reaches for the plate of food beside him — fresh fruit, toast, and eggs, all arranged neatly. But instead of setting it in front of you, he picks up a piece of fruit, holding it delicately between his fingers.

“Open,” he instructs, his voice calm but commanding.

You part your lips, and he gently places the fruit in your mouth, his thumb grazing your lower lip as he pulls his hand away. The sweetness of the fruit spreads across your tongue, and you close your eyes for a moment, savoring the taste. It’s such a simple act — being fed by hand — but it fills you with a deep sense of connection, like you’re being cared for in a way that goes beyond words.

Toto watches you, his eyes dark and focused, as if he’s studying your every reaction. “Good?” He asks, his voice soft.

You nod, swallowing the fruit. “Yes, sir.”

He picks up another piece, this time offering you a small bite of toast. “Tell me how you slept,” he says as he feeds you, his tone conversational but still holding that edge of authority.

You chew slowly, thinking about the question. “I … I slept better than I have in a long time,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t wake up … panicking again. Not like I usually do.”

Toto’s gaze softens, and he nods, as if he expected that answer. “You felt safe,” he says, more a statement than a question.

“Yes,” you reply, looking up at him. “I did.”

He feeds you another bite, his eyes never leaving yours. “That’s how it should be,” he murmurs. “You should always feel safe. You deserve that.”

His words are like a balm to your soul, soothing the raw edges of your emotions. For so long, you believed that you didn’t deserve safety or kindness — that you were only worth something when you were serving someone else’s needs. But Toto’s care, his quiet authority, makes you feel like maybe you’re worth more than that.

He offers you another bite of fruit, and you take it without hesitation, the act of being fed by him making you feel more connected, more grounded in the moment. You don’t have to think or worry. All you have to do is trust him, let him guide you.

Toto sets the plate down after a while, wiping his hands on a napkin before reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch is soft, tender, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

“You’ve been through a lot,” he says quietly, his voice thick with understanding. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush anything. You take your time. You come to me when you’re ready.”

You blink up at him, surprised by the tenderness in his voice. “I … I don’t know what to do now,” you confess, the vulnerability in your words making your chest tighten. “I don’t know where to go or how to start over.”

Toto’s hand lingers on your cheek, his thumb brushing softly against your skin. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now,” he says, his tone reassuring. “You’re not alone anymore. I told you last night — I’ll help you. You’re safe with me.”

The sincerity in his words makes your throat tighten with emotion. You never expected to find someone like Toto — someone who could take control without making you feel small, who could care for you without making you feel weak.

“Thank you,” you whisper, your voice thick with gratitude. “For everything.”

Toto smiles, a small but genuine smile that makes your heart swell. “You don’t need to thank me,” he says. “Just focus on taking care of yourself. That’s all I ask.”

You nod, feeling a warmth spread through you. There’s still so much you don’t know, so much you’re unsure of. But in this moment, kneeling at Toto’s feet, being fed by his hand, you feel like maybe — just maybe — you can start to heal.

Toto reaches for his coffee, taking a sip before glancing down at you again. “Do you want to stay here with me?” He asks, his tone casual, but you can hear the underlying importance of the question.

Your heart skips a beat, and you look up at him, searching his face for any sign that he might be offering this out of pity. But all you see is quiet determination, a calm certainty that tells you he means every word.

“I … I don’t want to be a burden,” you say softly, though the thought of leaving fills you with a quiet dread.

Toto shakes his head, his expression firm. “You’re not a burden,” he says, his voice unwavering. “You never were. And as long as you want to be here, this is your home.”

The weight of his words settles over you, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel the stirrings of hope. Maybe this is the fresh start you’ve been searching for. Maybe, with Toto’s help, you can finally begin to rebuild the pieces of yourself that were broken.

“Then … yes,” you say, your voice steady but soft. “I want to stay.”

Toto’s smile widens, and he nods, as if that was the only answer he was expecting. “Good,” he says, his tone final, as though the decision has been made and that’s the end of it. “You’ll stay with me, and we’ll figure it out together.”

As you kneel there, with Toto’s hand resting lightly on your shoulder, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’ve found the place where you truly belong.

***

The sun is warm against your skin, a soft, golden light that glimmers across the surface of the pool. The water is crystal clear, reflecting the bright blue sky overhead. You’re stretched out on a plush lounger, eyes closed, feeling the tension melt away from your body as the heat sinks into your muscles. For the first time in what feels like forever, you can actually breathe.

Toto’s house is like a sanctuary — a far cry from the cramped, tension-filled apartment you’d shared with your ex. Here, everything feels expansive, open, and safe. The sound of the water gently lapping against the edge of the pool is the only noise around, a soothing backdrop to the peaceful afternoon.

You turn over onto your stomach, adjusting your bikini to soak in more of the sun’s rays, and for a brief moment, you allow yourself to forget about everything that’s happened. Here, in this moment, there’s no anxiety clawing at your chest, no panic bubbling just beneath the surface. Just the warmth of the sun and the soft breeze ruffling the leaves of the nearby trees.

It’s strange, being here without Toto. He left for work this morning, after making sure you had everything you needed, and though he’s been gone for hours, you still feel his presence lingering around the house. It’s comforting in a way you hadn’t expected. You can’t help but wonder what it will be like when he returns, how he’ll look at you, what he’ll say.

The thought brings a small smile to your lips, and you close your eyes again, letting the peacefulness of the moment wash over you. For the first time in ages, you’re not afraid of what the future holds. With Toto, things feel … different. Better.

By the time the sun begins to set, casting long shadows across the pool, you’ve already showered and changed into a light sundress, feeling refreshed and relaxed. The house is quiet when you make your way to the dining room, but you know Toto will be home soon.

As if on cue, you hear the soft hum of an engine outside, followed by the sound of the front door opening. Your heart skips a beat, and you feel a flutter of nervous excitement in your chest. You glance toward the door just as Toto walks in, his tall frame commanding the space without even trying.

“Good evening,” he says, his deep voice sending a familiar warmth through you.

“Good evening,” you reply, your voice soft but steady. “How was work?”

He smiles, a small, almost imperceptible curve of his lips. “Busy,” he says simply, walking over to you. His eyes linger on you for a moment, taking in your relaxed posture, your bare feet against the hardwood floor, and the soft fabric of your dress. “I see you’ve been enjoying the pool.”

You nod, feeling a little shy under his gaze. “It’s beautiful out there.”

Toto steps closer, his presence as calming as ever. “Good,” he says, his voice low. “I want you to feel at home here.”

You do. More than you ever expected.

He gestures toward the table, where dinner is already laid out, simple but elegant, with a bottle of wine breathing in the center. “Shall we eat?”

You take a seat across from him, and the two of you settle into an easy rhythm. There’s no awkwardness, no tension — just the quiet sounds of silverware against plates and the occasional murmur of conversation. As you eat, you steal glances at Toto, watching the way he moves, the way his eyes darken when he catches you looking at him.

It’s peaceful. But there’s something else simmering beneath the surface, something unspoken but palpable. You can feel it in the way Toto’s gaze lingers on you, in the way his voice drops an octave when he speaks. There’s a tension, but it’s not the kind that makes you anxious. It’s the kind that makes your pulse quicken.

After a while, Toto sets his fork down, leaning back in his chair. His eyes find yours, and there’s a new intensity in his gaze, something that makes your breath catch.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says, his voice soft but firm. “About us. About what you need.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you swallow hard, suddenly feeling exposed under the weight of his gaze. “What do you mean?” You ask, though you have an idea of where this is going.

Toto’s eyes never leave yours as he speaks. “I think you know,” he says quietly. “Last night was just the beginning. There’s more to this, to us, than what we’ve explored so far.”

You feel a shiver run down your spine at his words. There’s something about the way he says “us” that makes your heart race, something about the promise of what’s to come that sends heat pooling in your core.

Toto leans forward, his eyes dark and focused. “I want to know if you’re ready for more,” he says, his voice a low rumble. “If you want to do a scene with me.”

The question hangs in the air between you, thick with anticipation. You can feel your pulse quicken, your breath hitching slightly at the thought. A scene. With Toto.

You’ve imagined it — more than once, if you’re honest with yourself. But hearing him say it, seeing the way his eyes darken with desire as he asks, it makes everything feel real in a way that sends your nerves tingling.

“I … I think I’d like that,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Toto’s lips curl into a small, satisfied smile. “Good,” he says softly. “Finish your wine, and I’ll show you the playroom.”

Your heart is racing as you take the last sip of your drink, the anticipation building with every second that passes. When you finally set your glass down, Toto stands, offering you his hand. You take it without hesitation, and he leads you through the house, his grip firm but gentle.

He leads you to a room you hadn’t noticed before, down a long hallway at the back of the house. The door is heavy, made of dark wood, and when he opens it, your breath catches in your throat.

The room is stunning.

It’s large, with high ceilings and soft lighting that casts a warm glow over the polished floors. Along the walls are racks of gear — everything from ropes to floggers to paddles, all meticulously arranged. In the center of the room is a large, padded bench, and beside it, a St. Andrew’s cross. It’s a dungeon, but one that’s been designed with care and attention to detail.

Toto walks you further into the room, his presence calm and steady, but you can feel the shift in the air. There’s an unspoken power here, something that makes your skin tingle with anticipation.

He picks up a set of wrist ties from a nearby rack, running his fingers over the soft leather. “We’ll start with these,” he says, his voice low. “They’re comfortable, but secure. I want you to feel safe, but I also want you to surrender.”

You nod, your breath coming faster now as the reality of the situation sinks in. You’re about to do a scene with Toto Wolff — the man who has been nothing but gentle and caring with you, but who is now looking at you like he’s ready to take control in a way that leaves no room for hesitation.

He steps behind you, his hands brushing against your wrists as he fastens the ties, his touch firm but not painful. “Let me know if it’s too tight,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your neck.

“It’s perfect,” you manage to whisper, your voice trembling slightly with nerves and excitement.

Once your wrists are secured, Toto steps in front of you, holding a flogger in his hand. It’s light, with soft leather strands, not designed to hurt, but to tease, to stimulate.

“Tell me your safeword,” he says, his voice steady.

“Red,” you say, your throat dry with anticipation.

He nods, satisfied. “Good girl.”

Toto steps back, giving you a moment to adjust to the feeling of being tied, the weight of the flogger in his hand a promise of what’s to come. His eyes are dark, focused, and there’s a hunger there that makes your knees weak.

Without another word, he begins, the flogger landing softly against your skin, a gentle rhythm that builds with each stroke. It’s not painful, not yet — it’s more like a caress, a reminder that you’re here, in this moment, with him.

As the strokes continue, the sensation shifts from gentle to something more intense, and you feel your body responding to it, your breath coming faster, your skin tingling with each impact. It’s overwhelming in the best way, and you can’t help the soft moans that escape your lips.

Toto’s voice cuts through the haze of sensation, calm and steady. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” you breathe, your head spinning. “I feel good.”

He nods, his movements never faltering. “Let go,” he murmurs. “Surrender to me. I’ve got you.”

And in that moment, you do. You let go of everything — the fear, the doubt, the pain of the past — and you give yourself over to Toto, trusting him completely.

For the first time in a long time, you feel whole.

***

The restaurant is exquisite. Soft lighting glimmers off crystal glasses and polished silverware, casting a warm, intimate glow over the white-clothed tables. The hum of quiet conversation fills the room, an undercurrent of sophistication and elegance that’s perfectly in tune with the setting.

It’s one of those places you’d only ever heard of — an elusive three Michelin-starred restaurant tucked away in the heart of London, where every dish is a masterpiece and every detail, no matter how small, is perfectly curated.

You glance across the table at Toto, who’s sitting across from you, calm and composed as ever. He’s wearing a tailored suit, dark and understated, but it fits him in a way that makes it clear he’s no stranger to this world of luxury. There’s something about the way he holds himself, a quiet authority that commands attention without ever needing to ask for it.

You, on the other hand, feel a bit like an imposter in this world. The dress you’re wearing — sleek, black, and impossibly flattering — had been a gift from Toto, something he’d picked out for tonight. It fits like it was made for you, but you still can’t quite shake the feeling that you’re playing a role in a scene that doesn’t belong to you.

Toto catches your gaze and smiles softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that makes your heart skip a beat.

“You look nervous,” he says, his voice low and soothing. “Everything alright?”

You nod quickly, forcing a small smile. “Yeah, just … I’ve never been somewhere like this before.”

He chuckles, the sound warm and rich. “It’s just dinner,” he says, his tone teasing but gentle. “No need to be nervous.”

You know he’s right. It is just dinner, but there’s something more tonight — something unspoken but heavy in the air between you. For the past few weeks, everything has been perfect. Since the night Toto took you in, since he showed you what it meant to truly be cared for, things have only gotten better. You’ve never felt more seen, more understood. He’s given you space to heal, to grow, but he’s also taken control in ways that make you feel secure, grounded.

And yet, tonight feels different. There’s an anticipation simmering beneath the surface, something you can’t quite place. It’s been there ever since you left his house this evening, when he helped you into the car, his hand lingering on your waist just a second longer than usual.

The waiter arrives to clear your plates, and you offer him a polite smile, though your mind is elsewhere. The main course had been an experience in itself — delicate and flavorful, the kind of dish you’d never forget. But now, as you sip the last of your wine, you find yourself unable to focus on anything other than the man sitting across from you.

Toto hasn’t said much since the food arrived, but there’s a certain intensity in his silence, a weight to the way he looks at you that makes your heart race. When dessert is brought out — an intricately plated creation of chocolate and caramel — you glance at Toto, waiting for him to start.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he leans back in his chair, his hand slipping into the pocket of his suit jacket. For a moment, your stomach flips with confusion.

Then, he pulls out a large black box, the kind you’ve only ever seen in high-end jewelry stores, and sets it on the table between you. The room seems to grow quieter, though you’re sure it’s just your nerves making everything else fade into the background.

Toto watches you carefully, his expression soft but serious. He opens the box, and your breath catches in your throat.

Inside is the most beautiful collar you’ve ever seen. Solid white gold, sleek and elegant, with delicate diamonds studded along the edges, catching the candlelight in a way that makes them shimmer like stars. It’s not ostentatious, not overly extravagant despite its luxury — it’s simple, perfect, and breathtaking.

Your eyes widen, your hand instinctively flying to your throat, where the absence of any collar has been a reminder of everything you’d lost. The weight of your ex’s cruelty still lingers in the back of your mind, but in this moment, that’s not what you’re thinking about. All you can focus on is the collar in front of you, and the man offering it to you.

“Toto …” you breathe, your voice shaky with emotion.

He takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ve thought about this for a long time,” he says, his voice steady, but there’s an unmistakable vulnerability in his words. “You’ve been through so much. You’ve given me your trust, and I don’t take that lightly.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you blink them back, your heart pounding in your chest.

Toto continues, his gaze unwavering. “I want you to know that this — this collar — isn’t just a symbol. It’s a promise. A promise that I’ll take care of you, protect you, and guide you. If you accept it, it means you’re accepting me as your Dom. Officially.”

You’re speechless, your mind racing, your heart swelling with so many emotions all at once that it’s hard to process. This is everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you never thought you deserved after what happened with your ex. But Toto … Toto is offering it to you freely, without any hesitation or doubt.

He leans forward slightly, his eyes softening. “I want you to be mine,” he says, his voice low, filled with sincerity. “But only if that’s what you want too.”

Your throat tightens, and you can’t hold back the tears anymore. They slip down your cheeks, but you don’t feel embarrassed. Not here, not with him.

“I …” You struggle to find the words, your voice thick with emotion. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Toto smiles softly, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. His touch is warm, reassuring. “You don’t have to say anything. Just tell me what you feel.”

You look down at the collar again, the beautiful, shining piece of jewelry that represents so much more than just an accessory. It represents trust, care, safety —everything you thought you’d lost forever. And now, with Toto, you realize it’s all possible again.

“I want this,” you say, your voice trembling but certain. “I want you. I want to be yours.”

Toto’s smile deepens, a look of pure, unguarded affection crossing his face. He stands slowly, moving around the table toward you. You rise from your chair as he approaches, your heart hammering in your chest as he gently takes the collar from the box.

“May I?” He asks, his voice soft but filled with meaning.

You nod, unable to speak, too overwhelmed by the moment.

Toto steps behind you, his hands warm as he gently brushes your hair aside. You feel the cool weight of the collar as he fastens it around your neck, the clasp clicking into place with a finality that sends a shiver down your spine. It’s not tight, but it’s firm enough to remind you that it’s there — a constant, grounding presence.

He steps back in front of you, his eyes searching yours. “How does it feel?”

You lift a hand to your throat, your fingers brushing over the smooth metal. It feels … right. Like it was always meant to be there.

“It feels perfect,” you whisper, tears still shining in your eyes.

Toto’s expression softens even more, and he cups your face gently in his hands, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “You’re perfect,” he murmurs, his voice full of warmth and affection. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

Your chest tightens, and you can’t help the smile that breaks across your face, despite the tears. “I think I’m starting to.”

Toto leans down, his lips brushing softly against your forehead, a gesture that’s both tender and protective. “You’re mine now,” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin. “And I’m yours.”

The weight of those words settles over you like a warm blanket, comforting and reassuring. In Toto’s arms, with the collar around your neck, you finally feel safe. Safe, loved, and most of all, home.

***

The bar is just as you remember it — dark, atmospheric, and pulsing with a kind of energy that once felt daunting but now, with Toto at your side, feels like a familiar rhythm. You had known this moment would come eventually, but the thought of returning to the place where everything fell apart had lingered like a storm cloud in your mind for weeks.

Yet tonight, as you walk through the entrance with Toto’s hand resting firmly on your lower back, it feels different. You’re not the same person who left this bar shattered. You’re stronger now, grounded in ways you never thought possible.

Toto leans down, his breath warm against your ear. “Are you alright?” His voice is low, gentle, but the command behind it is unmistakable. He’s checking in, as he always does, ensuring that this is what you want.

You look up at him, giving a small nod. “Yes, sir,” you say softly, the words carrying a weight of truth and certainty.

He smiles down at you, his hand squeezing your waist briefly in a silent message of reassurance. “Good girl.”

Your body reacts to his praise, warmth spreading through you. Every time he says those words, it’s like a jolt of electricity, but tonight, it’s especially potent. You’ve come here with a purpose — not just to face the ghosts of the past, but to show yourself and everyone else, including your ex, that you are no longer that fragile, discarded version of yourself.

The bar is packed tonight, the same familiar crowd — subs and doms, some here to watch, others here to play. You scan the room briefly, and then your heart stops. Your ex is here. Sitting in one of the corner booths, drink in hand, his eyes scan the room — until they land on you.

You freeze, and for a split second, the memories of that night come rushing back — his voice, cruel and dismissive, the public humiliation, the way your knees had given out beneath you. But then you feel Toto’s presence beside you, solid and unwavering. His grip on you tightens, pulling you out of the past and back into the present.

Toto follows your gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly as they land on your ex. There’s no need for words. He knows exactly what’s running through your mind, and his jaw sets in a way that tells you he’s already decided how the rest of this night will go.

He bends down to your ear once more, his voice a soothing contrast to the tension in the air. “I think it’s time to show everyone exactly who you belong to.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips. You nod again, this time with more confidence. “Yes, sir.”

He leads you through the crowd, toward one of the platforms reserved for public scenes. It’s in full view of the bar, the perfect stage. Your ex watches, his eyes locked on the two of you, but you don’t look away this time. You meet his gaze, and for the first time, you feel nothing but indifference. He has no power over you anymore.

Toto stops in front of the platform, turning you to face him. He brushes a thumb over your collar, the one he gave you at dinner just a few weeks ago, and you swear you see pride flash in his eyes.

“Are you ready?” He asks, his voice a quiet command.

“Yes, sir,” you respond, your voice steady.

He steps up onto the platform first, motioning for you to follow. You do, climbing onto the raised platform as the crowd’s attention starts to shift toward you both. There’s an air of anticipation, curiosity — everyone here knows who Toto is, and it’s rare to see him take part in public scenes. But more than that, they know you now too. You’re not the timid girl from before, you’re Toto’s submissive, and that means something in this world.

Toto walks to a sleek black bag he placed earlier at the side of the platform. From it, he pulls out something that makes your breath catch: a pair of dragon’s tongue whips. They’re long, thin, and flexible, made from braided leather that tapers into a sharp, stinging tip.

Most doms wouldn’t dare use them in a public scene — they require immense skill and precision to wield properly. In the wrong hands, they can cause real harm. But Toto … you trust him completely.

He turns to face you, holding the dragon’s tongue in his hand. His eyes meet yours, and in that moment, the rest of the room fades away.

“Kneel,” he commands softly.

You drop to your knees instantly, your heart racing with a mixture of anticipation and excitement. You glance out into the crowd, and your ex’s eyes are glued to the scene. You can see the shock in his expression — this is something he never could’ve done. He didn’t have the skill, the control, or the understanding of what it truly means to be a Dom. And now, he’s watching you submit to someone far more powerful, far more worthy.

Toto steps behind you, the dragon’s tongue sliding lightly over your bare shoulders. “You’ve been such a good girl for me,” he says, his voice low but full of affection. “And tonight, I’m going to show everyone just how beautifully you submit.”

The first strike lands, light but firm, sending a sharp sting across your back. You gasp, but it’s not pain you feel — it’s release, surrender. The second strike comes, and then the third, each one carefully controlled, perfectly measured. Toto is a master of his craft, and with each lash, you feel yourself falling deeper into the scene, into the space where nothing exists except his voice, his commands, and the sensation of the dragon’s tongue against your skin.

The crowd is silent now, watching with rapt attention as Toto works, his movements graceful and precise. You can feel their eyes on you, but you don’t care. You’re not performing for them. You’re here for him, and him alone.

“Good girl,” Toto murmurs after a particularly sharp strike, his voice like a balm against the sting. “You take it so well.”

Your ex is still watching, but his face is pale now, his expression a mixture of disbelief and something darker — jealousy, perhaps, or regret. But you don’t focus on him. You focus on Toto, on the way his voice grounds you, the way his touch brings you back from the edge.

When the final strike lands, your body is buzzing with sensation, your mind quiet and peaceful in a way that only Toto can bring. He steps in front of you, setting the dragon’s tongue aside, and kneels down to meet your eyes. His hand cups your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek.

“You did so well,” he whispers, his eyes filled with warmth and pride. “I’m so proud of you.”

Tears well in your eyes, but they’re not from pain or sadness. They’re from the overwhelming sense of belonging, of being cared for in a way you never thought possible. You look up at him, and the only words that come to your lips are the ones you know he wants to hear.

“Thank you, sir.”

Toto smiles, a rare, unguarded smile that’s just for you. He stands, helping you to your feet, and guides you gently off the platform. The crowd parts as he leads you toward a quiet corner, away from the eyes of the bar. He sits down in one of the plush armchairs, pulling you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you protectively.

“You were perfect,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your temple. “Absolutely perfect.”

You nestle into him, your body still humming with the aftershocks of the scene, but your mind is calm. You’re safe, you’re his, and nothing else matters.

Toto reaches for a bottle of water, uncapping it and holding it to your lips. You drink gratefully, letting the cool liquid soothe your throat. He continues to take care of you, checking in with soft, reassuring touches, whispering praises that make your heart swell with warmth.

And as you sit there, wrapped in his arms, you glance across the room to where your ex is sitting. He’s watching still, but now, there’s something defeated in his posture, as if he finally understands what he lost. But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re not his, and you never will be again.

You belong to Toto now, and that’s all you need.

***

The sun is low, casting a golden glow across the living room, filtering through the sheer curtains that sway gently with the breeze from the open windows. You’re sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch, legs folded beneath you, waiting for Toto.

The anticipation hums in your veins, a familiar pulse that always settles low in your belly whenever you two are about to engage in a scene. It’s a quiet evening at home — rare, given how often you’ve been traveling with him to races lately. But tonight is just for you and him, no paddock, no chaos, no cameras. Just intimacy.

Toto emerges from the hallway, his presence commanding, even in the casual black shirt and dark jeans he wears. The simplicity of his clothes contrasts with the intensity in his eyes as they lock on you, a silent question hanging in the air between you. You nod — your answer always the same when it comes to him.

“Come here, liebling,” he says softly, the endearment rolling off his tongue in that deep, soothing voice of his. You rise and step closer to him, the distance between you disappearing as he pulls you into his arms, kissing the top of your head gently before guiding you toward the center of the room.

Tonight’s scene is something more intimate, more casual than the ones you’ve typically done before. It’s not about spectacle or showing anyone else what you can endure — this is just for him, for the trust between you. He’s chosen a light flogger for tonight, one you both know well, designed for sensation rather than pain. It’s more of a way to ground you, to connect with him in the quiet of your home.

“Strip,” Toto commands, his voice a velvet command that wraps around you like a safety net.

You begin to undress, taking your time, enjoying the way his eyes track your movements. You fold your clothes neatly beside the couch before turning to face him, hands clasped behind your back, your breath already coming in soft, steady waves.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, stepping forward to lift your chin gently, his thumb brushing along your bottom lip. His approval is everything, and the warmth in his gaze fills you with that familiar, addictive need to please him.

Toto motions for you to kneel, and you drop down, your knees pressing into the soft rug beneath you. He takes a seat in the armchair across from you, leaning back casually as if this is any other evening, as if what comes next is just a natural extension of your time together.

He picks up the flogger, running the leather strands through his fingers slowly, deliberately, letting you watch. The anticipation builds, tightening your muscles with every passing second.

“Do you trust me?” He asks, even though the answer has already been given a thousand times over.

“With everything,” you reply, your voice steady.

The first strike lands across your shoulders, light and measured, a soft hiss of air leaving your lungs. It’s not pain — it’s connection. Every swing of the flogger, every strike that follows, is a conversation between you. The leather caresses your skin, each touch more intense than the last, your body warming under his control, but never overwhelmed. You float, suspended in this perfect, peaceful place, completely in sync with him.

Toto’s voice grounds you. “Such a good girl for me,” he whispers, and your heart swells with pride, each strike a confirmation of your submission, of the bond you share.

He continues, alternating between strokes and soothing touches, checking in with you through words and the soft brush of his hand across your skin. You lose yourself in the rhythm, the flogger a steady, pulsing reminder of the safety and love you’ve found with him.

So engrossed are you in the scene, you don’t hear the front door creak open. You’re barely aware of anything beyond Toto’s voice and the sensation of the flogger against your skin. But then, the unmistakable sound of someone gasping cuts through the haze.

“Uh … what … the …” George Russell’s voice cracks, full of disbelief.

Your head snaps up in shock, and Toto stills, the flogger dropping to his side as he turns, slowly, to face the unexpected intrusion.

George is standing frozen in the doorway, eyes wide, mouth open in pure horror. His face is pale, and he’s gripping the door handle like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. He’s not even trying to look away — he’s too shocked to move.

“Oh my God,” George breathes out, his voice strangled. “I — what the hell — what — Toto!” His voice rises in panic as he throws his hands over his face. “Why didn’t you lock the door?”

Toto stands calmly, his expression a mixture of amusement and mild frustration, as if he’d been interrupted during an important meeting rather than an intimate scene. “George,” he says in his usual calm, measured tone, “you really should knock.”

“I didn’t think I had to knock at your house!” George cries, his voice muffled by his hands still covering his face. “I thought you were just … I don’t know … watching TV or something, not-” He cuts off, his voice trailing into a horrified squeak.

You’re frozen on the spot, embarrassment flooding your face, your body still kneeling on the floor. The moment is so absurd, so unexpected, that you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. You glance at Toto, and his calm demeanor seems to anchor you once more. But George — poor, poor George — he looks like he’s just witnessed something that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

“I — oh my God, I need bleach for my eyes,” George moans, stumbling backward toward the door. “I need therapy. I need to forget this ever happened.”

Toto steps forward, his hands raised as if to calm the younger man. “George, calm down. It’s not-”

“Calm down?” George interrupts, his voice an octave higher than usual. “Toto, I just saw you whipping your girlfriend in your living room! What part of this is supposed to be calm?”

At this point, you can’t hold it in anymore. A giggle escapes you, completely unexpected and uncontrollable. The absurdity of the situation, the sheer panic on George’s face — it’s all too much. You cover your mouth, trying to stifle the sound, but it’s no use. Laughter bubbles up, and before you know it, you’re leaning back, laughing so hard you can barely breathe.

Toto glances at you, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He can’t help it either — he starts laughing too, a deep, rich sound that fills the room.

George stares at the both of you in disbelief, his hands still hovering near his face, but slowly, realization seems to dawn on him. “Are you two seriously laughing at this?”

Toto nods, wiping at his eyes. “George, it’s not what you think.”

“Not what I think?” George sputters. “What else could it possibly be?”

Toto walks over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “George, Y/N and I are adults, and we have an understanding in our relationship.”

“Well, I don’t want to understand! I want to un-see!” George exclaims, pulling away. “I came here for strategy discussions, not … this! Why didn’t you text me you were busy?!”

“I didn’t think we’d be interrupted,” Toto says, shrugging with a grin. “Clearly, I was wrong.”

George groans again, burying his face in his hands. “I need to go … bleach my eyes or … meditate or something.”

Toto chuckles, patting him on the back. “I’ll send you the race notes later, alright? Just knock next time.”

George spins on his heel, practically sprinting for the door. “Yeah, yeah. Never coming over without notice again. Noted. Bleach, then therapy. Lots of therapy.”

The door slams behind him, leaving the house in a stunned, laughing silence. You look over at Toto, still kneeling on the floor, your body trembling with laughter. He kneels down beside you, brushing a lock of hair away from your face, his smile wide and relaxed.

“Well,” you say, catching your breath, “that was unexpected.”

Toto raises an eyebrow, still chuckling. “You could say that.”

You both dissolve into laughter again, the absurdity of the moment too much to handle. When the laughter finally subsides, Toto pulls you into his arms, kissing your temple gently.

“At least now we know George will knock in the future,” he teases, his voice filled with warmth.

You snuggle into his embrace, feeling safe and loved, even in the midst of the chaos. “Maybe we should lock the door next time, just to be safe.”

Toto hums in agreement, his hand tracing soothing circles on your back. “Next time, liebling.”

And as you settle back into the peaceful quiet of the evening, the memory of George’s horrified face will be something you’ll both laugh about for years to come.

[iamgonnagetyouback]

theodore nott x reader who has never had her first kiss

The air in Theo’s room was always a strange blend of comfort and unspoken boundaries. Tonight, the two of you lay side by side on his bed, sinking into the quiet, but somehow, you felt like talking. You always did.

Love. You didn’t expect Theo to ever be the kind to entertain the conversation, but tonight he humored you, perhaps sensing the need in your voice. He’d grumble and roll his eyes, but you knew deep down he didn’t mind listening to you ramble about your latest romanticized dream. This was your ritual: you’d talk, he’d tease, but he'd always listen.

"So, do you believe in love at first sight?” you asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the expression on his face.

Theo gave a small, almost imperceptible sigh. “You know I don’t.”

“You don’t believe in any of it?” You tried to keep the surprise out of your voice; maybe it was foolish, but some part of you always hoped to change his mind.

He turned his head slightly to look at you, a wry smirk on his face. “I’ll leave the ‘hopeless romantic’ bit to you, I think.”

“Fine,” you mumbled, turning your gaze up to the ceiling with a sigh.

The comfortable silence fell between you again, but it wasn’t long before Theo broke it. “You’re quiet,” he murmured. “That’s not like you. Something on your mind?”

You stayed silent, tracing a line in the ceiling with your eyes, wondering how much to tell him. “Just… thinking about things.”

He nodded, but his gaze was fixed on you, waiting. "Thinking about what?"

“You know, just… love, and all.” You gave a slight, half-hearted shrug.

“Hm,” he said, voice low, as if considering it. “You’ve never told me about your first kiss.”

Your heart plummeted. The conversation had taken an abrupt turn, one you dreaded. Any time someone brought up their first kisses, you’d dodge it with a laugh, brush it off, and no one ever asked further. But Theo wasn’t just anyone. He had a way of looking through you, of uncovering all the little things you tried to keep buried.

You swallowed and felt your pulse quicken, deflecting on instinct. “You’ve already told me about yours. Daphne, right?”

Theo’s face softened just a little, an almost imperceptible shift. “Yeah… Daphne.” He glanced away, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as he remembered. It was in the past, long over, and yet he spoke with a warmth that you envied.

Your chest ached, wishing—no, yearning—to be thought of that way, spoken about with fondness. Not necessarily by Theo… but by someone, anyone. You wanted that moment for yourself, that cherished memory.

Theo seemed to drift off in thought, but after a moment, he turned to you again, his voice cutting through the quiet. “But you… you never told me about yours.”

The world felt as though it shrank, pulling inward to the space between you two. There was a lump in your throat, an ache that refused to let you speak. You couldn’t lie to him, not Theo. If you tried, he’d see through it in a second. But admitting the truth hurt.

You closed your eyes and took a slow breath. “Never had one,” you whispered, barely able to force the words out. And you could feel the hurt echoing back at you, filling the silence with something you couldn’t ignore.

Theo didn’t say anything for a moment, but you could feel his surprise, his mind working through your words, seeing the quiet ache in them. His response was gentle. “That’s alright.”

Your eyes stung, and you blinked rapidly, trying to push the tears back. “It’s not, Theo. It’s really not… and you know it.”

The tears slipped free, tracing cold lines down to the pillow. You turned your head to face the ceiling, letting the shadows of your thoughts spill over. You couldn’t hold it in anymore, the ache, the envy that had been hidden away, and so, in a soft voice, you spoke, letting all those feelings you’d kept buried flow.

“It’s… everyone else has already had theirs,” you began, your voice breaking on the words. “Pansy, Draco, Blaise… even Enzo.” A quiet laugh slipped out, humorless and bitter. “Everyone’s got their stories… Matt, Daphne, Astoria… all of them. It’s like… like I’m waiting for something that just isn’t meant for me.”

Theo didn’t respond, and in the silence, you kept going, unable to stop yourself. “I hate it, Theo. I hate how I feel like I’m always waiting, watching everyone else… just wanting someone to think of me that way.” The words tumbled out as your tears continued to spill, staining the pillow beneath you.

“I just…” you closed your eyes, your voice a whisper, barely audible. “I don’t want to be left behind. I want something like that, too… I just don’t want to feel like I’m not enough.”

The silence stretched, but in it, you felt something shift. Theo moved, lying on his side, and you could feel his eyes on you, a warmth in them you hadn’t expected.

Finally, he spoke, his voice soft and steady. “You’re not left behind, you know. You’re not forgotten or… not enough. And you’re not alone.”

You turned your head slightly to look at him, your vision blurry with tears. He was close, so close you could see the sincerity in his gaze. It was there, plain and quiet, and it made your heart ache in a different way.

“I… I don’t want to feel this way,” you whispered, barely able to hold his gaze.

Theo reached out, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb, lingering for a heartbeat longer than necessary. “Then maybe I can help with that.”

There was a pause, your breath catching as his words sunk in, the implication both terrifying and thrilling. Your eyes met his, a silent question passing between you, and then, with the smallest nod from you, he closed the space between you, pressing his lips gently to yours.

It was soft, and somehow, in that single moment, all the ache and insecurity faded away, replaced by something warm, something steady. He was gentle, careful, and you could feel him holding back, letting you set the pace, letting you decide. When he finally pulled back, he stayed close, his forehead resting against yours, your breaths mingling.

“I’d like that,” you whispered, a smile tugging at your lips as you let yourself sink into the comfort he offered, feeling, for the first time, whole and seen.

this IS a self-indulgent fic

[tiny-minecraft-rabbit]

"Do you really think I'm evil?"

Ren frowned softly, claws scraping over Martyn's scalp. Only one of them thought to put a bed down, so they had to share, naturally. Maybe if it was someone else he would have suggested a pillow between the two of them, or someone sleep with their head at the foot of the bed- sleep in opposite directions. This was Martyn however, and even though it had been... some time since the two had been in such proximity to one another, that did not seem to erase the casual ease of which they fitted in next to one another.

"No, Martyn, I don't think you are evil, not really," he paused, thinking how to form his next thought, something he only did when what he had to say was more important than rambling on. Martyn was patient with him, as always. "I do think... That you have been through things that I do not know. That you have.. not quite changed- hardened, perhaps? Gained more mischief? Something of the like- Something to make others wary of you."

Martyn snorted at that, like it was a joke. For a moment it did scare Ren, that Martyn had no qualms with being waried against. They were still in the early game, Ren had more lives than he really knew what to do with (more than three- so many more than just three), and Martyn felt like someone that was standing on the edge of chaos and mayhem and everything you expected from someone on their final life- at the very least their second to last.

He wasn't scared though. He wasn't scared of Martyn, because Martyn wasn't evil. He wasn't frightening. He was Martyn: his hand, his partner, his lieutenant (he had a strange dream the other night of them being Pi-rats, Pirate Rats, and it was a good dream). He had nothing to fear from him.

But a small part of him, one that was still regaining his legs in his game of death, was starting to believe that some of the others did have something to fear from his dear friend.

"Do you think I'm foolish?" Ren asked, and he doesn't think he meant to ask that at all, but words tend to just tumble out of his mouth.

Martyn shifted, more of his weight pressing against Ren's side, "A little. Not more foolish than I, my- er- yeah."

There was a space at the end of that statement, wanting to be filled with a Captain or Liege or King. He wondered if they'd end up filling it with something new this time around, or rehash something from their past. He doesn't think he wants to be a king again. A part of him wonders if he could just be Ren this time, or if they were always bound to play a role in these games instead of themselves.

"Do you want me to soften you?" And he thinks that's a worse question than the first.

It makes Martyn very quiet for a moment. Then, softly, "I don't think you have a choice in that."

He supposes not.

[acoazlove]

A New Place | part four

Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Summary: The aftermath of the dinner brought on a conversation with someone you didn't expect.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: angst, and a little bit of fluff (kind of)

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The past few days felt like you were watching in from the outside. Not leaving your apartment on your days off like you normally would. Usually, you liked to be down in the bar while your friends worked, just to spend time with them.

But after that night, you can’t talk to them. Won’t talk to them. Benny set the whole thing up and didn’t give you any warning, or even ask you in the first place.

Now, back at work, you stay silent, not a single word being uttered to your coworkers.

“Y/n,” Benny’s voice comes out softly, cautious almost. As if talking to a wounded animal that’s about to bolt. Acting as if you didn’t hear her, you continue to shine the glass in your hands. Silently wishing a customer would appear in front of you and order something, so you don’t have to deal with whatever Benny wants.

A huff leaves her when she realises you’re ignoring her. “I need to talk to you.” Voice still soft, placing a hand on your shoulder. You harshly shrug off her touch, placing the glass on the bar top and pushing past her into the kitchen.

Footsteps follow closely behind you. “What, Benny?” You snap.

”I’m sorry, I just wanted to help. I thought if you just talked to them-“

”Stop. Just, stop.” Running a hand through your hair. “If I wanted to talk to them, I would have.” Turning away, taking a deep breath. “It should be on my terms.” A deep breath is released behind you. Footsteps scuffing, shifting on her feet. “y/n-“ her blue form appeared in front of you suddenly. “I am truly sorry. You’re right, It should be on your terms.”

Your gaze moves to the back door, “I need some air.” Eyes meeting hers. Understanding took over her features, a nod of her head, taking a step to the side. “Talk to me when you are ready. I don’t expect you to forgive me, or anyone else.” Waving a hand towards the doorway leading back into the main area of the bar. “But just know we’re here if you need anything.”

With a curt nod, you pull the door open, stepping out of the bar. Fresh air fills your lungs, and a deep sigh leaves you. Eyes flutter closed as the afternoon sun kisses your skin. Brows pulling together, mind unwantedly drifting to the thought of how you and your sisters used to bask in the sun after a long winter transitioned to warmer seasons.

Eyes open with a start as the cool breeze brushes your ankle. Glancing down, you find a smoky tendril swirling around your feet. You frown down at it. Lifting your gaze to find the owner, knowing his shadows don’t typically stray too far from him. But you find no sign of him, no feeling of eyes on you. No glimpse of large wings in the moving fae on the streets. The tendril moves up to your wrists, a gentle tug causing you to stumble forward a step. Seemingly pulling you, guiding you.

Arm moving to shake it off, but fail miserably, the little thing intent on moving you in a certain direction. “Go away.” You mumble. “I’m sure he doesn't want anything to do with me.” Voice hesitant as it tightens around your wrist softly. Tugging you forward once again. With a sigh you decide to let it pull you away.

Footsteps carefully along the uneven stones of the streets of Valaris. It doesn't take you long to realise what direction it was pulling you to. The townhouse. You stop in your tracks, harshly pulling your wrist away from the shadow. “No.” You growl. The dark tendril moving to brush against your face, trying to comfort you.

A sharp breath leaving you. Running a hand down your face. Why is this happening to me? The question crosses your mind, rubbing your eyes almost aggressively, turning on your heel, and planning on making your way back to the tavern.

Only a few steps forward you run head-first into a hard wall. No. Not a wall, a person. Cheeks blazing, pulling your hands from your face. “I’m so sorry-“ meeting a familiar pair of hazel eyes. Gaze widening as you take a hasty step back. Eyes darting to the side, trying to find a way to escape the questioning gaze of the shadowsinger.

More shadows join the one swirling around you brushing your skin. A huff leaves the male in front of you. Meeting his gaze to find him frowning at them. “I’m sorry.” He mutters, his cheeks tinting a soft pink at failing to reign them in.

“It's fine.” You find the words leaving you without your permission. Your cheeks heat up in response. A silence settles over the two of you as you both avert your eyes. The quiet was surprisingly not uncomfortable but felt far too long.

It seems Azriel agrees with your thoughts, clearing his throat softly. You feel his assessing gaze on your face, reading you far too easily. “Are you okay?” He asks finally, almost gently, as if worried he’ll scare you off. As if finding something in the way you're standing. The way you refuse to look at his face.

You feel a cool brush of a shadow on your cheek. Hands quickly wiping your face. Feeling a slight wetness under your eyes. Rubbing your face as fast as you can, probably far too aggressively. When did you start crying? “I’m fine.”

Sidestepping him, trying to leave as swiftly as you can. “Do you want me to walk with you?” His soft voice was barely audible from how far you’d moved away from him. You glance over your shoulder, finding him looking at you tentatively. “Of course, it's your choice, but I thought you might like some company.” His wings twitch at his back. “Sorry if that offer is stupid. I shouldn’t have asked.” He hastily added on, taking a small step back, clearly expecting you to reject him.

It takes you a moment before you answer. “Sure.” Your answer is quiet and unsure. But after the past couple of days, you felt lonely. Azriel had been the only one to check in on you. Giving you a choice. Not expecting anything from you.

He gave you a curt nod before striding up to walk by your side. You turn, hands wringing as you amble along past some shops. A comfortable quiet settles between you as you slowly make your way in a different direction from the bar. Not wanting to be back there for a while. Not ready, despite it being halfway through your shift. Benny shouldn’t mind.

”I’m sorry for the other night. I shouldn't have said what I did.” A deep breath passed his lips. “You deserve to have time to decide what you want, especially after how we made you feel.” We? “No one should have made that choice for you. To show up out of nowhere, with no warning.”

a heavy breath leaves you. “y/n, you don’t deserve any of this.” You find you've made your way to the Sidra. Stopping by the bank. “Az-“ frowning from the weight of his statement. “Azriel, you’re the only one who didn’t forget.” Your eyes meet his hazel ones as you pull a necklace from the collar of your shirt. His eyes widen, almost imperceptibly, but his shadows fluttering around his wings gave him away.

“I could tell it was from you, despite not being told.” The steely blue stone in the pendant glimmered in the late afternoon sun. “The look on your face that night told me enough.” Gaze drifts to the glittering water of the sidra as your mind drifts back to your outburst. Internally wincing at the memory.

The feel of his stare burns through your skin. You tuck the necklace back under your shirt before meeting his gaze once again. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to them.” His voice filled with subtle regret. A quiet humourless laugh escapes you. “They should have remembered on their own.”

”Still, you deserved to have a nice birthday.” The sincerity in his tone tugged at your heart suddenly. “Thank you.”

His mouth opens then closes as if unsure if he should say his next words. “Nyx misses you. He keeps babbling about his aunty.” A quiet humour in his voice. A snort leaves you. “I miss him too.” Your lips pull down, eyes lowering to the ground.

You hate that you miss the rest of them. They don’t deserve your forgiveness. You know that, but they are still your family. Azriel somehow seems to know where your thoughts slipped to. “They don’t expect your forgiveness. They know they don’t deserve it, especially not anytime soon. They made the mistake of thinking you needed all that time. Not realising how that made you feel.” His body turns fully towards you. “They didn’t forget about you. They’re just upset with themselves. I promise I’m not trying to make excuses for them. Or myself.”

You meet his gaze, giving him a small nod as you process his words. The pink tint that blankets the scene around you makes you realise how long you've been talking. “I should get back to the bar.” A nod of his head as you turn back to the street.

He stays by you the entire walk back to the tavern. No words passed between you. The weight of your conversation running through your head.

He stops a couple of steps back from you as you stop outside the bar. Heading towards the stairs to your apartment instead. Your shift is already finished anyway. A few steps up, you turn, “Thank you Azriel.” He dips his head. “I needed that.” You decide to add on before turning away and making your way up the rest of the stairs.

─

Azriel watches you close your door behind you, then turns to leave, towards the river house.

The look on your face as you talked lingered in his mind the entire way back. The heartbreak, the tears in your eyes. A subtle sense of pain and sadness pulls in his chest. His shadows swarm his ears, whispering your words in his ears repeatedly. Your voice echoes with each word they utter.

Finally standing in front of the house, his family’s voices drifting through the open windows. Far quieter than they were three months ago. The heaviness of your absence straining each of them. Your sisters are still unsure how to handle it. Guilt weighing on every single one of them.

He hopes you’ll forgive them with time, but he’d understand if you didn’t. Your conversation makes him understand you need company, he’ll be there if you decide it's his company you want. Hope fills him, he’d be grateful if you did want that. He shakes his head, shoving that hope away. He doesn’t deserve it.

Shuffling up the pathway to the front door, softly pushing it open, stepping inside, finding himself feeling lighter than he has in months.

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a/n: I actually hate this. It didn't come out how I wanted. I'll probably end up changing and fixing it later on. There may be some spelling mistakes, let me know if you find any. Its slowly but surely coming together. More confrontation to come, as well as more romance lol. I hope you like it regardless. <3

[joeyfranchise]

all eyes on you, all eyes on us

joe burrow x fem!reader

summary: it’s halloween night, time to dress up with your best friend and get your party on. all is well until you see your ex at the party, the emotions rush back in… but he fits you like a missing puzzle piece. you keep letting him back in, he’s doing a number on you.

warnings: MDNI i’m sooo serious i love to block. semi-public sex, groping, hickeys, scratching, pinv, dirty talk.

word count: 3.3k.

note: this fic is based off the song So It Goes… by T. Swift! requested by my sweet friend @starsinthesky5! i also wanted to add a halloween element to it.. i hope you guys like it! (something funny in the tags hehe) (i do not own any pics used!!)

you could feel the bass of the music bumping through the floor, radiating through your feet and up your legs as your best friend pulled you deeper into the club.

she took your hand in hers, leading you through the sea of sweaty bodies to an open area in the room, somewhere the two of you could dance and let loose.

“you need this!” she assured you while you got ready. her claims were that recently you’ve been too uptight, you’ve been shouldering too much. and it’s halloween, so you need to have fun.

you agreed to come to the party, and even in matching costumes. she looked incredible in a dress identical to yours, but hers was white with gold fringe hanging from a slit in the leg. she wore a halo, gold jewelry, and red lips to match.

your dress was black with silver fringe, and rather than necklaces or bracelets you decided on two silver cuffs that sat tightly on your biceps. you painted glitter highlights on your cheekbones, and a dark maroon stain on your lips. you clipped two black horns into your hair at the top of your head. classic angel and devil costumes… but you didn’t care. you both felt good.

she finally stopped walking, dropping your hand as she stood in a vacant spot near the back of the club. there was a smoky haze that settled across the room, illuminated by the neon lights that were strung along the ceiling and the walls. you couldn’t quite make out the song that was on, but the beat was nice and you swayed your body along with it. you weren’t sure if you’d know anyone else here, but you were hoping to meet someone, even if just for a night of fun.

your friend was right. you needed to let loose. have fun. get laid.

“i’m gonna go get us a shot!” she yelled over the music, reaching over to squeeze your shoulder. your eyes followed her as she walked to one side of the bar, which wasn’t that far from you. she leaned over to speak to the bartender and then gestured back to you, presumably telling him why she wanted two shots. you locked eyes with him and - whoa. he was hot.

he smirked at you, eyes raking over your body, before looking back at your friend. his salt and pepper hair and stubble told you he was older - nearing his forties if you had to guess. he turned to grab a bottle of vodka off the shelf behind him and you ogled his form as you watched the muscles in his back and arms ripple. when he turned around, he looked back at you again. he poured the shots and your friend grabbed them, walking back over to you with her mouth wide open.

she handed yours to you and you both downed them, discarding the cups on a small table nearby. “the bartender is a total dilf!” she laughed, grabbing on to your shoulders. “totally!” you agreed, looking up to check him out again. “he was totally feeling you, babe!” she smiled. you weren’t focused on anything she said.

the bartender was now making a drink for a tall man, dressed in an all black suit. you couldn’t see the front of him, but you didn’t need to. you knew it was your ex. you could tell by his posture, the utter confidence in which he carried himself. joey fucking burrow.

flashback to your break-up

“you’re so difficult to deal with, you know that?” joe spoke, the way he sat made him look defensive. you held back tears as he threw complaints your way.

“we’re in public, joe. you’re not a fucking walk in the park!” you finally speak up, tilting your head at him to show him you wouldn’t back down. the chatter and soft music that floated through the restaurant weren’t doing enough to hide that the two of you were arguing. “this relationship hasn’t been working for a while, but it’s not just on me. you’re a diva sometimes. you make things difficult.”

he let out a snarky laugh, tipping his head back. his hand flexed on the glass he was holding, threatening to crunch it right then before he loosened his grip. you weren’t even sure what had started this fight, but you’d been at odds with each other recently, so it could have been anything. but when joe brought up working it out, you told him you weren’t sure you wanted to, which led you here. a fancy dinner in a quaint restaurant where everyone could see you falling apart.

“maybe you’re right. maybe it isn’t worth trying to work out. lets throw the last six months down the drain.” he said, his tone smarmy. he widened his eyes at you as he spoke, placing the ball in your court. the waiter came over to ask you how everything was, but he didn’t get a single word out as he took the two of you in, your anger and emotions sitting on the table rather than your meals.

“i’m sorry i just.. i don’t think this is working. i think our personalities clash too much.”

to be honest, you felt caged in. you felt like a hostage to your feelings, but you weren’t sure exactly why. sometimes joe’s barriers were difficult to break through, and you had an idea that was something that was breaking you down.

joe never had the intention of making you feel that way. he didn’t want to push you away, but he wasn’t the best at displaying his emotions. his temper was getting shorter and shorter. he had the tendency to take things out on you, and he hated it. but, if you wanted out, he couldn’t stop you.

neither of you said a word for the rest of your meal, the tension was palpable from across the table. he paid for dinner, although you offered, and you climbed into his car quickly so he could take you home.

he pulled into your drive, parking the car before leaning over the console to look at you. you felt stifled, the air in the car was thick with anger, sadness, regret. you grabbed the door handle and popped it open, but before you could get away joe grabbed your hand, turning you back to face him. you leaned into the car, waiting for his spiel.

“i’m sorry for making you feel upset. i’m sorry i couldn’t have been more for you.” tears spilled down your cheeks finally, all your emotions were rolling down your face leaving salty stains in your makeup.

he continued. “i really am sorry, i love you.” he said, looking down at the wheel.

“so it goes…” you respond, pulling your hand away and walking inside.

end of flashback

joe must’ve felt your eyes burning holes into the back of his head, because he turned around and smirked at you, catching you staring at him.

he took his drink from the bartender and walked away, back toward his group of friends. you tried to push him out of your mind and let loose anyway. you danced with your friend through five or six songs, and the thought of joe being at the party almost became a distant memory.

after a little while you were feeling hot, a sticky sheen of sweat coated your whole body. “i’m gonna gef some water!” you told your friend. you made your way to the bar, slightly excited to talk to the extremely hot bartender.

you sat down on one of the stools and waited for him to get finished making someone else’s cocktail so he could attend to you. he shook their drink in the mixer, poured it, then finally looked your way. a goofy lopsided smile spread over his lips as he walked closer.

“what can i getcha?” he drawls, leaning over the bar on his elbows. his face is now inches from your own, but you don’t mind it. he looks even better up close. “just some water, please. i’m just a little hot.”

he turns and grabs a bottle of water from a mini-fridge behind him, placing it on the bar in front of you. you unscrew the cap and take a long sip, accidentally letting a drop fall from the corner of your mouth and slide down your neck. you know he sees it, but he doesn’t mention it. after you finish drinking, you place the bottle down, twisting the cap back on.

the bartender starts speaking to you again. “i really like your costume, by the way. i saw you when you came in and… woah. you’re gorgeous. i’m j-” he begins to tell you his name, but he’s cut off.

“she doesn’t care what your name is, buddy. she’s my girl.” joe snaps. he must have seen you flirting with the man behind the bar and made his way over. “i’m not your girl, joey.”

he places a hand on your arm, running his fingers along the silver cuff. “‘can we go talk for a moment?” he asks you, tone sounding oddly soft. the bartender looks back and forth between you. “i can have him thrown out.” he says, completely seriously. “it’s okay,” you tell him, reaching across to pat his shoulder. “i’ll go talk and be right back.”

you hop off the barstool, ready to walk away with joe, but then you remember your friend. your eyes scan the room to find her and you aren’t shocked to see her making out with one of joe’s friends. “she’ll be fine.” joe says, taking your hand and leading you through the crowd. he stops in the middle of the dance floor, pulling you close against him as you allow him to take the lead, moving along with the music.

“very fitting costume.” he smirks, looking you up and down. “what are you supposed to be?” you ask.

he reaches his hand in his pocket, pulling something out. he holds up a white masquerade style mask. “a magician.”

he lifts it up to his face, putting it on with the strap going around his head. he’s smirking. curse the phantom of the opera for making you think this costume style was hot. his hands find your hips, pulling your body closer to his. it’s like you can feel every set of eyes in the room on you. joe feels you tense up and watches you as you scan the room.

“i promise all eyes aren’t on us, babe.” he whispers. “but i think they are.” you reply. “what did you even want to talk to me about?” you ask, pushing at his chest to create some distance between you.

“i miss you.”

you scoff out a laugh. he misses you? he knows this’ll never work. joe cradles your face in his hands. “you know we don’t work, joey.” you argue, once again trying to pull away from him. “we don’t,” he agrees, small smile playing at his lips, “but the sex does.”

you can’t disagree with him on that front. “why try to find some random stranger to sleep with when i’m here, when i know your body and what you like?” he challenges, leaning down so his lips are ghosting over yours. he’s right.

you don’t give it any more consideration. you don’t allow yourself time to back out. you smash your lips into his with fervor, your arms wrapping around his neck. he kisses you back with just as much intensity before pulling away, grabbing your hand and leading you through the club again.

“where are you taking me?” you ask him breathlessly. “one of the private rooms.”

he pulls you through a beaded curtain that hangs on a doorway, roughly pushing you up against a wall. “i’m not fucking you on one of those beds or couches or whatever they are. that’s so unsanitary.” you protest.

“i know that. that’s why were gonna do it against the wall.” he smirks.

“anyone could walk in here and find us!” you say, worried about being caught. “let loose, that’s what makes it fun, baby.”

his lips find your neck, biting and sucking at the skin. “jump.” he murmurs. you hop up and wrap your legs around his waist. you reach up and pull his mask off, tossing it somewhere across the room. your fingers tangle in his dirty blonde curls.

his grip is firm as he holds you against the wall. you tug on his hair, bringing his lips back up to yours. he slips his tongue into your mouth, sliding it against yours. you can feel him straining against his dress pants as his hips roll upward into yours.

“joey, fuck me.” you breathe, your voice hoarse. he chuckles at you. “still so eager for it, huh?” he teases.

he uses one of his arms to press you into the wall, sliding his other hand up your dress and tugging at your panties. when he realizes this angle won’t work, he drops you back down til your feet are on the floor and helps you step out of the lacy black thong. he shoves it in his back pocket before standing up, telling you to jump again. his hand bunches up your dress, exposing your bare core to him.

he kisses you again, one of his hands working to undo his belt and pants. you glance down slightly, watching as he pulls his thick cock from his pants. your arms remain around his neck, your forehead pressed to his shoulder. he brings his hand up to his mouth, spitting on it before reaching down to run his fingers through your folds, not that you really needed it.

from seeing him in the costume, the thrill of potentially getting caught, and knowing that he knows just how to get you there, you’re soaked. he takes his cock in his hands, sliding it through your folds before finally pushing into you, inch by inch. you gasp at the size, even though you know from plenty of experience exactly what he feels like.

the air in the room is thick as he begins thrusting into you. the sheer force of his hips slamming into yours is holding you against the wall, but you still help him remove his jacket anyway, and you pop the buttons on his shirt as he bites and sucks at your neck again. you’re satisfied when you can finally get your hands in enough to rake your nails along his back. if he plans on marking your neck, you’re going to tear his back up with your freshly manicured nails.

“fuck, you feel so good. so tight.” he says, tongue soothing over a mark he left on your neck. “i’m so full, joey.” you reply, finally pulling him up to look into your eyes again. he reaches up and places a hand on your neck, applying the lightest pressure. “ah, your favorite necklace.” he teases. you place your hand on top of his, pushing on his fingers so he’ll squeeze harder. he does, but only briefly, all the while his hips are still pistoning into yours. when he removes his hand, his fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles into it. you can tell he’s close, and he’s trying to get you there too.

he presses gentle kisses into your lips as he speaks to you. “come on baby, i know you’ve got one for me. let me have it.” he coaxes.

it doesn’t take long before you’re unraveling, cumming hard all over his cock as warmth spreads from your horns to your toes. you’re squeezing joe, sucking him in and he cums soon after, filling up your cunt with his cum.

you press your sweaty foreheads together for a moment, the slight intimacy of the moment making both of you reminisce. you don’t let it last long, you can’t. because you know this doesn’t work.

“joe… can i.. have my panties back?” you ask, trying to make your voice sound playful so you don’t completely ruin the moment. he pulls out of you and lets you down. you squeeze your legs together, hoping that none of his seed will run down your thighs.

“sure.” he says, fishing them out of his pocket. “not sure what they’re gonna do for you, though.”

he’s right, but you need to slip something on, to create at least the tiniest barrier. joe awkwardly scratches at the back of his head before fixing himself, and then buttoning his pants. he fixes his shirt, slides his jacket on, and makes himself look as neat as he can.

“um.. thanks joe. that was nice.” you slip out, voice cracking. saying goodbye would be awkward for you both. joe doesn’t respond verbally, instead he just leans in and kisses your forehead before walking away. you unfortunately have to walk out after him, looking for your friend. she’s still kissing joe’s friend, but you think you’ll have to interrupt to tell her you’re just going to head home.

joe turns to look at you. “i’ll have tee tell her you left, just make sure you text her when you get home.”

“tee?” you ask, looking puzzled. “my teammate tee? that’s who she’s kissing.” you nod knowingly. you turn away from him then, heading for the exit, walking as slow as you can so that no evidence of what you’ve just done with him leaks out of you. when you’re almost to the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

you turn around and you’re face to face with the bartender. he looks you over, smirking. he can tell by your appearance that barely any talking was done, but he doesn’t care. he shoots his shot anyway. he hands you a slip of paper with his number on it, winking at you before sauntering back off to the bar. you glance around the crowded club again, your eyes landing on joe. he’s already dancing with another girl. you’re not jealous you tell yourself. he’s not yours, nor are you his. you tear your eyes away and walk out.

you make it outside, hailing a taxi and telling the driver your address. it doesn’t take long to get back to your building. you pull out your phone and keys, which you’re surprised you didn’t lose after the events of the evening, and head up the elevator to your floor.

you unlock the door, stepping inside and kicking your heels off before locking it again behind you. you tiptoe to the bathroom, turning on the shower and letting it heat up. you look back at your phone, two new text notifications showing on your screen. you open them one by one.

bestie: girl!!! let me know when you make it home! i’ll probably be going home with this cutie i met!

you respond to her quickly.

you: home! have fun 😋

the second text is from joe, go figure.

joeyyy b: so it goes, huh?

you don’t respond to his message, you just heart react to it. you really aren’t in the headspace to talk to him right now, because if you respond you’ll end up inviting him over, and you can’t have that. he’s not good for you, you aren’t good for him. you’ve let the pieces fall naturally into place. it’s over between you, even if you both still have the slightest residual feelings left.

before you step into the shower to wash the day away, you click new message at the top of your screen. you type the bartenders number in and… are you really gonna do this? fuck it.

you: hey, it’s y/n. the devil from the bar. 😈

when you see typing bubbles pop up almost immediately you squeal, locking your phone and slamming it on the bathroom counter before undressing and stepping into the hot, steamy shower.

taglist: @slimshiesty @starsinthesky5 @kykysinlovewithafairytale @burrowdarling @bengals-barnesbabe @joeyb1989 @loveyatopluto @toterry @unhingedfangirl @superheroprincess22

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 2

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 2.7k 

Note : Thank you so much for all the love ya’ll! Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part!

Series Masterlist

“No Kin”

Monday morning.

The next couple of hours were a blur.

The harsh, sterile scent of antiseptic filled your lungs, the fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, burning a too-bright, clinical glow in your corneas. Sam's voice faded in and out, his words distant, like they were filtering through a thick fog. Everything felt disconnected, alien, as though you were drifting underwater. The reality around you belonged to someone else.

In a way, it did.

You blinked, trying to focus, but even the sharp edges of the medical bay seemed to blur at the corners. The walls seemed to close in with a claustrophobic pressure that made it hard to breathe.

You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at your hands as Sam stood in front of you. To his credit, he had been sympathetic— but he was also mourning.

He was mourning a friend he had lost in you.

Still, he tried.

He told you about the last four years—how you had left the museum to train with the Avengers after an expedition to recover a powerful object in an archeological site three years ago. He told you how you had become a hero, fighting alongside some of the world's most powerful beings. He showed you pictures of you standing side by side with the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, who you swore only knew by reputation. 

It sounded surreal, like he was describing someone else's life, not yours. 

Sam’s words drifted around you like a static charge. You nodded when you were supposed to, said the awkward yes here and there. 

Sam hesitated every other second, his gaze soft but uncertain as he searched your face for some glimmer of recognition. His voice was steady, but there was a quiet strain as he forced himself to hold it together. 

Every time you failed to react to something that should have meant something to you, you noticed the brief hurt in his eyes, quickly masked. He pushed forward, pausing longer between sentences.

Deep down, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t your life. You were supposed to be at the museum, curating exhibitions, setting up tours for students.

“You’re safe,” Sam had reassured. “We’re keeping you here until we know more about what happened. Until we can help you remember.”

But you couldn’t remember any of it—this life, this version of you that everyone else was all so sure of. 

Bucky had been by your bedside for days, but even looking at him made your head spin. You knew him, of course you did—everyone knew Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, the reformed hero. 

But the way he looked at you, with so much pain and familiarity, made your stomach churn. 

Why was he so devastated? What had you meant to him?

You needed answers, and you knew you wouldn’t find them in the clean, white, sterile room they kept you in.

Monday afternoon.

As the compound grew quiet, you decided you couldn’t stay there any longer. You didn’t trust yourself, didn’t trust this world they said belonged to you. 

So you slipped out, wearing whatever clothes you could find that fit you— black jeans and a white shirt. 

As you slipped through the compound's corridors, the faint hum of security cameras buzzing overhead felt like an accusation. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat a reminder of how wrong everything felt. The shadows wrapped around you, familiar but unsettling, your muscles tensed with a mixture of fear and instinct that you didn’t fully understand. Your hands trembled as they brushed against the cold metal doors, the sound of your shallow breaths loud in your ears, blending with the adrenaline that coursed through your veins.

Sneaking past the security measures was easier than it should have been. It made sense, the more you thought of it. The compound was made to stop people from coming in, not prevent people from getting out.

Muscle memory guided your steps, an invisible map in your head kicking in without you understanding where they had come from. You moved through the halls like a ghost, heart pounding as you made your escape.

Your destination was clear—the museum. The place where your real life had been. The place that made sense.

—

When you arrived, using the staff entrance which you knew the code to, everything was wrong.

The exhibits were slightly different, the lobby had been renovated, and even the lighting felt a bit brighter than it should’ve been. 

You wandered the halls in a daze, your breath catching in your throat as you stumbled through what felt like someone else’s reality. How could everything have changed so much in such a short time?

Four years—they said you’d lost the last four years, but it didn’t feel like four years to you. It felt like a blink. A gap you couldn’t explain.

And then you saw her— a young woman with long black hair and a suit.

Alex!

You knew Alex! She was the intern you had hired what felt like just a month ago. 

She was older than you remembered, taller, with a hint of maturity in her features. 

Alex froze for a moment, her eyes widening as though she had just seen a ghost. Her smile faltered, the shock on her face poorly hidden behind an awkward attempt at casualness. 

She whispered your name.

"I—I haven’t seen you in so long," she stammered, her voice tinged with confusion. There was a pause as the distance between you felt like it had stretched for miles.

The version of Alex you remembered, eager but shy, was worlds away from the composed woman standing in front of you. The gap between what you thought you knew and what was real now felt more disorienting with every passing second.

She gave you a sisterly hug, squeezing you tight. When she pulled back, she asked. “What are you doing here? You—”

“I work here,” you interrupted, your voice shaky, your grip on reality slipping on thin ice. “I—I hired you. Last month.”

Alex’s expression shifted to shock. “You quit. Four years ago. You left to train with the Avengers. I thought you were on some mission.”

Your heart sank.

It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. You backed up a step, your mind whirling, trying to reconcile the reality facing you with the one you remembered.

“I quit?” you whispered, more to yourself than to her.

Alex nodded slowly, confused. “Yeah, you… you told us you had to go help save the world or something. We thought you were pretty badass, actually.”

The realisation of it hit you then, hard and fast. The truth that everyone had been telling you, the facts you had refused to believe—it was all real.

You had been gone for four years. You had left behind the life you thought was yours, and now you were standing in the ruins of what was once familiar, a stranger in your own world.

You finally believed them.

Your legs felt weak, and you reached for a nearby display case to steady yourself. The room spun around you, the shock sinking in with every beat of your heart.

You had become someone else, someone you didn’t recognise.

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you didn’t know if they were from the overwhelming grief of losing the life you thought you had or the fear of the unknown that now lie ahead you.

You looked back at Alex, who stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

“I—” you started, but the words wouldn’t come. How could you explain the gap in your memory? How could you make sense of a life you couldn’t remember living?

“Do you want to tell me?” Alex asked gently, sitting you down on a bench to the side of the main hall.

Alex had her hands folded in front of her, fingers tense, her eyes searching your face as if trying to read something in your expression that wasn't truly present. The familiarity in her gaze was unnerving, as though she saw something in you that you couldn’t find in yourself.

Taking a slow breath, you began. The words felt heavy, tangled in your throat, but you forced them out, piecing together the fractured shards of memory. You told her what you knew—or rather, what you didn’t. 

You spoke of waking up in the compound, of how nothing seemed to fit, the way the people around you treated you like a ghost of someone you couldn't remember being. Each sentence seemed to echo with uncertainty, the fragments of your life splintering as you said them out loud.

Alex’s face shifted as you spoke, her initial composure cracking. Her eyes grew darker with every word, her mouth tightening at the corners as she tried to hold onto the version of you she knew. Her hands trembled slightly as they unfolded, offering to hold your hand.

You watched her as you spoke, the silence between your sentences growing uncomfortable. The pain in her eyes mirrored the unease inside of you, a recognition of everything that had been lost, even if you couldn’t name it. When you finally finished, there was nothing left but the soft sound of echoes throughout the halls.

Finally, Alex shuddered, before giving you a small, sad smile. This must be so difficult for her to take in, and yet she was still here, as a friend.

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “You’re always welcome here.”

You weren’t sure if that was comforting or not, but you nodded anyway, swallowing the lump in your throat.

It was real. All of it. And now, you had no choice but to face the truth.

You weren’t the person you thought you were anymore.

—

You wandered through the museum in a haze, your footsteps echoing softly in the dimly lit corridors. It was after hours now, the building nearly silent except for the distant hum of air conditioning and the muffled sounds of your breathing. You didn’t know why you stayed, but something kept pulling you forward, drawing you deeper into the heart of the exhibits. The old, familiar halls felt like a sanctuary, a place where time had paused, even if your own life had raced ahead without you.

That’s when you found it—the World War II exhibit.

The dark wood floors and vintage lighting gave the room a nostalgic feel, a place frozen in time, just like the stories held within it. You wandered past the displays of uniforms, medals, and grainy black-and-white photographs of soldiers who had once fought for a future they believed in. Then you stopped.

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

His name was etched in bronze on a plaque beneath a glass display case. Besides his photograph was a set of his old military clothing, neatly arranged—his jacket, trousers, and a pair of worn boots, remnants of a life long past. 

You didn’t remember him, not really. But standing there, looking at that face, you felt a pull. Something deep and bittersweet. Something that said this man, whoever he was, mattered.

You stayed there, frozen, for what felt like hours. Trying to piece together a past that didn’t feel like yours. A life you had lived but couldn’t remember. The weight of it all pressed down on you, leaving you feeling untethered, lost.

You felt a tug in your chest as you stared at the sepia-toned image of Bucky once again—the Bucky from another time, another world. His boyish grin was a far cry from the man you’d seen at the compound, a man worn by time and experience. 

Your own breath sounded too loud in the quiet of the exhibit, and the steady thrum of your heartbeat made the walls feel closer than they were.

Then came the voice that broke the silence. Low, hesitant. “I thought I might find you here.”

You turned sharply, your pulse quickening. Bucky stood in the doorway of the exhibit, his figure half-shadowed by the dim light. His face, though calmer now, held that same unreadable look from earlier—like he was carrying something heavy, something aching. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket, as if he didn’t trust himself to move them.

“I—uh, yeah,” you stammered, the edges of your voice shaky as you tried to steady yourself.

Bucky took a few steps forward, his movements careful, as if he feared he would you. His gaze drifted to the display, lingering on the younger version of himself. For a moment, you saw something flicker in his eyes—a glimpse of the man he once was.

“You found me,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a breath.

You nodded, swallowing hard. 

When you tried to speak, your voice faltered, the words catching in your throat. Bucky didn’t seem to notice, too focused on the shadow of his past. 

“I don’t remember,” you finally whispered. The words tumbled out before you could stop it, the guilt that followed sinking deep in your chest. “I’m sorry.”

Bucky’s face didn’t change much, but you saw the slight tightening of his jaw. “It’s not your fault,” he said quietly, his voice calm, with a rough edge.

“But I should,” you said, frustration slipping into your voice. “I don’t know where I fit in any of this.”

Bucky stood beside you now, not quite close enough to touch, but close enough that you felt the warmth of his presence. He let out a slow, deliberate breath, as if he’d been holding it in since the moment he’d walked in. “I know what that’s like,” he said, his voice soft, almost too quiet. “More than you think.”

His words hung between you, and you could feel the truth he carried. He didn’t have to say more—you knew he’d been through this, lost in a world that didn’t fit him anymore.

You had lost 4 years of your life.

They took nearly a century of his.

“How did you deal with it?” you asked, your voice a fragile thread, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Bucky glanced at you, his eyes softened, but you could see the battle behind them—the countless days of grappling with the man he used to be and the man he was now. He looked back at the display, his shoulders tense. “I didn’t… not at first. But there were people who reminded me I wasn’t alone.”

If only you knew, he thought, that one of them was you.

His words made your throat tighten. You swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. The man you were standing next to wasn’t just a stranger—he was someone who had known you, helped you, maybe even saved you. And now, you were the stranger in your own life.

You felt a lump form in your throat, your heart aching with a mix of confusion and fear. “I don’t know where to start,” you whispered. 

Bucky’s gaze softened, his voice gentle when he spoke. “You have an apartment not far from here,” he said, “Yelena and I helped you move in last year. I could take you home?”

That was kind of true. Yelena helped you move in as he silent carried the heaviest of boxes since he was the only one without a mission that day who could.

You blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in his words. “I— I don’t know if I should be alone.” You told him, not knowing if you trusted yourself enough.

“I have a spare bedroom, if you need to stay with someone for a while?” The significance of his offer hung between you, heavy and raw.

You might not remember him, and you might never get these four years back. But you’re still you, to some extent. This was the least he could do.

Maybe, maybe this was his chance to start over with you.

After all, he did promise you that when you woke up, he’d make it up to you.

You took a shaky breath, feeling a strange mixture of relief and sadness. “That sounds… good,” you said softly, your voice trembling.

You might not remember him, but you could tell that you trusted him.

For a moment, you both stood there, the quiet of the museum wrapping around you like a fragile cocoon. The past might have been lost, but standing here, in front of Bucky’s old life and the pieces of your own forgotten history lost to the fray, you felt something solid you could finally hold on to.

-to be continued…

Taglist: @hzdhrtss @irisk12 @tayyyystan @seventeen-x @lomlbuckybarnes

@greatenthusiasttidalwave @avatarofthetimelords @bckynatt @winchestert101 @zemosprincesa

@nngkay @hiireadstuff @sapphirebarnes @thatesqcrush @bethexo07

@florie1 @nyutasgirl @coraliix @harrysgothicbitch @jules-and-gemss

@infqnitysblog

[leclarifies]

matchmaker (MV33)

✰ max verstappen x alexandra's sister! reader ✰

summary: you're alexandra's sister and charles just so happens to be tired of hearing you complain to be single all the time. good thing for you, charles is sneaky and has a plan up his sleeve.

genre: smau & fluff <3

a/n: hello everyone, taking a small break from writing off the grid. new chapter will be released tomorrow, enjoy this fluffy smau for the moment <33

yourusername has posted!

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 12,950 others!

yourusername great weekend to be a tifosa <3

click to view 3,206 comments

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yourusername: REMEMBER HOW IT WENT LAST TIME?

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yourusername: JUST BC I SPILT COFFEE ON THE GUY DOESN'T MAKE ME COFFEE GIRL

charles_leclerc: just change ur username to yncoffeegirl atp

yourusername: i hate both of you 🥰

charles_leclerc: the last picture is not true btw

yourusername: i cry everytime u guys don't win, u will lose this fight with me every single time. do NOT start.

charles_leclerc: IT'S NOT MY FAULT WE LOSE, I AM DRIVING A UNPOWERED WAGON SOMETIMES.

alexandrasaintmleux: aww, you guys already fight like siblings. where's the ring @/charles_leclerc?

charles_leclerc: this is where i take my exit ladies and gentlemen

user1: this is so hilarious i love them

user2: the fourth image is so real

user3: WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE SECOND PICTURE IM CRYING

user4: someone send me that banner rq

user5: you guys are so pretty :(

yourusername: please do not give me compliments, it will go STRAIGHT to my head

user6: the best thing the saint mleux sisters have done is unprivate their instagram, i love the content

MAX'S POV

maxverstappen1, alex_albon, georgerussell, oscarpiastri, pierregasly, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, lilyzneimer, francisca.cgomes just followed yourusername!

yourusername has just posted!

liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux and 57,879 others.

yourusername on the wrong side of the paddock this weekend, but i don't really mind. last picture is a bonus for everyone. special thank you to @/maxverstappen1 for giving me a special invitation <3

click to view 12,589 comments.

maxverstappen1: Lovely having you around this Grand Prix, same time next week, pretty?

yourusername: as long as ur the one giving me the paddock passes, might not come if charles gives me ferrari passes

maxverstappen1: Come to another date, yeah? That's the only way I'll forgive you for posting the last picture

yourusername: you're threatening me with a good time max <3

user7: MY BOYFRIENDABLE MAX CRUMBS

user8: y/n and max flirting on the tl? we love to see it

user7: WAIT I JUST READ THE COMMENTS THEY'RE FUCKING FLIRTING WITH EACHOTHER

charles_leclerc: weren't u the one that was raving about ferrari JUST LAST WEEK? ur crazy

charles_leclerc: AND THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT Y/N HAS BEEN CONVERTED INTO THE DARK SIDE? SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE HEART TO TELL ME HERSELF?

yourusername: weren't you the one to set this one up?🤨

charles_leclerc: wow im so happy for you converting into a red bull fan!

yourusername: yeah that's what i thought

user9: you guys are crackhead energy siblings, i love it

alexandrasaintmleux: you need to come stop by the ferrari garage next weekend, me and rebecca miss u!

iamrebeccad: sending love all the way from the ferrari garage!

francisca.cgomes: <333

user10: is this.... a soft launch.............

user11: wait i kinda see it

user12: im waiting for max to post something before i believe in it :(

user13: I'M DELUSIONAL SO YES THIS IS A SOFT LAUNCH

user14: seeing y/n in navy feels so weird after seeing her in red for so long

user15: wait am i delusional or........

user16: no see, you get it.

user17: THEY'RE FLIRTING IN THE COMMENTS GUYS. PLEASE. THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH

user18: i am a delusional bitch who likes seeing max happy so i will take this as a hard launch :D

maxverstappen1 has posted!

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and 546,908 others.

maxverstappen1 And that's P1, flawlessly done for the team this weekend. Looking forward to next weekend!

tagged yourusername.

click to view 27,986 comments

user19: what happened to hello? hi? good morning?

user20: SO THIS WAS THE HARD LAUNCH WE WERE LOOKING FOR

user21: wait is that y/n

user22: so we all weren't being delusional about y/n posting max last week, nice to know

yourusername: it was nice being in the red bull garage this weekend <3

maxverstappen1: I only won because my good luck charm was in the Red Bull garage and not in the red team's one

charles_leclerc: MY TEAM NAME IS NOT A CURSE YOU KNOW.

redbullracing: @/yourusername <3

yourusername: what are you doing here redbull admin 😭

user23: THE REDBULL ADMIN COMMENTED, IT'S OFFICIAL GUYS!!!

user24: DABHDHAWD IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM

user25: did we all realize how many of the wags and grid members followed y/n over the course of this weekend and last weekend????

user26: i think we all noticed it but we were waiting for the hard launch

oscarpiastri: Congrats on the race man, nothing less than perfection from you

georgerussell: hm...

charles_leclerc: you lost the bet, you owe me $20

georgerussell: oh cmon man

yourusername has posted!

liked by maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe and 107,593 others

yourusername hot girls get kissed by hot f1 drivers <3

tagged alexandrasaintmleux, maxverstappen1

click to view 50,938 comments.

maxverstappen1: You look so good in Red Bull merch.

yourusername: you look good in my arms :D

charles_leclerc: just so you know, i made this happen

yourusername: NOW ur taking credit, asshole

alexandrasaintmleux: actually *i* take credit bc i was the one who convinced her to continue to pursue max

maxverstappen1: Everyone say thank you Alexandra

user27: "thank you alexandra!!!" we all shout

user27: CHAT THEY'RE FLIRTING AGAIN

user28: they look so good together, i might actually die

user29: EWWWW (god when will this happen to me)

user30: yall have been speculating so hard on the bird app the other day and they go and do this in front of our salad

user 31: i'm so happy for you!

alexandrasaintmleux: so i'm assuming no more red merch from now on?

yourusername: max has thrown every single ferrari merch out the window :D he banned me from using a red article of clothing ever again

maxverstappen1: You have to assert dominance, you know?

redbullracing: It's nice to have you on our side of the garage now @/yourusername!

yourusername: you really gave me a jumpscare with that notif, redbull admin

scuderiaferrari: And another one of our soldiers lost to the dark side...

yourusername: I'M SORRY, I'LL COME VISIT OFTEN THO. I STILL LOVE YOU

maxverstappen1: 😡😡😡

charles_leclerc: i'm so happy for you guys. i can finally stop hearing my sister in law complain about being single everytime i take her sister out

yourusername: HELLO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SISTER IN LAW? WHERE IS THE RING?

alexandrasaintmleux: oh you really can't keep a secret to yourself, can you?

yourusername: HELLO? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? ANSWER MY TEXTS??????????????

user32: did i see charles accidentally post an engagement announcement without posting an engagement announcement...?

user33: IT'S A GOOD DAY FOR LESTAPPEN GIRLIES

user34: the comments section is on fire btw

very short but sweet, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this <3

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 TEENAGE DIRTBAG kang haerin x reader

↳ warnings yn is a member of baby monster, a continuation of bad influence, minji’s blood pressure going higher and higher, yn is still her cocky self

if you were to say yn was a bad influence on haerin, haerin herself would probably disagree with you.

but minji wouldn’t.

“where are you going now?” hanni asked from the couch beside minji, watching as haerin strolled to the door with a slightly distracted look, clearly preoccupied with something or rather, someone.

“oh, just…out,” haerin mumbled, slipping her shoes on and avoiding eye contact.

“again?” minji raised an eyebrow, barely able to hide her disapproval. “that’s like, what, the third time this week?”

haerin shrugged, mumbling something about yn wanting haerin to come watch her while she records a song for baby monsters new album, though her excuse sounded weak even to her.

before minji could press further, haerin was out the door, leaving minji staring after her, hands clenching into fists.

hanni chuckled beside her. “relax, minji. they’re just friends.”

minji huffed, crossing her arms. “friends don’t act like that, this teenage dirtbag is ruining haerin.”

the next few days were more of the same, haerin and yn, inseparable, attached at the hip. and it was driving minji insane.

one day, minji and danielle were taking a walk near the dorm when minji spotted haerin and yn sitting on a bench. haerin had her hand on yn’s shoulder, leaning in close as they looked at something on yn’s phone. haerin laughed at whatever yn showed her, leaning even closer, almost whispering in her ear.

“hey!” minji called out, unable to stop herself.

haerin looked up, startled, but yn only gave minji a little wave, a smirk dancing on her lips. “hey, minji unnie! hey danielle,”

danielle waved back, but minji simply narrowed her eyes, folding her arms over her chest.

“are you two glued together or something?” minji asked, trying to keep her tone light but failing miserably.

yn chuckled, not at all fazed. “haerin and I were just watching the video I took during my recording, you know just looking for flaws.”

minji rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath, “looking for flaws, sure…” that’s rich coming from yn the most egotistical person alive.

later that week, minji was returning from a late practice when she saw yn and haerin in the kitchen, apparently in the middle of a late night snack raid. yn had her arm slung casually around haerin’s shoulder as they rummaged through the fridge, giggling over some inside joke that minji clearly wasn’t part of.

she cleared her throat, causing both girls to jump.

“again?” minji deadpanned, crossing her arms as she watched them. “don’t you both have curfews?”

yn grinned. “curfews are suggestions, right?”

haerin stifled a giggle, nudging yn. “yeah, totally.”

minji glared. “some of us actually like to follow the rules, you know.”

yn shrugged, unaffected. “guess we’re the fun ones then.”

haerin smirked at that, causing minji’s irritation to bubble up even more. but before she could say anything else, yn grabbed haerin’s hand, dragging her out of the kitchen with a, “come on, let’s go!”

minji watched them leave, her mouth half open in disbelief.

the next morning, minji was on her last straw when she heard loud laughter coming from haerin’s room. she stomped down the hall, finding haerin and yn practically tangled together on her bed, laughing over something on haerin’s laptop.

“oh, hey, minji,” yn greeted, not moving an inch. “we were just watching this hilarious drama. wanna join?”

minji’s eye twitched. “I think you’ve spent enough time here, don’t you?”

yn only smiled, shifting closer to haerin. “actually, I was just about to stay the night.”

“what?” minji looked at haerin, who only shrugged with an innocent grin.

“we were doing a movie marathon,” haerin explained, but her sheepish expression did little to ease minji’s suspicions.

danielle, who had wandered in to see what the noise was about, laughed at the look on minji’s face. “minji, they’re just friends! chill.”

it wasn’t until one particularly intense night, when haerin had yet again vanished with yn, that minji finally snapped.

it was around midnight when she heard soft giggles coming from haerin’s room. she threw open the door, ready to give them a piece of her mind—

only to freeze, eyes widening.

there, in the dim light of haerin’s room, yn and haerin were pressed close, lips locked in a kiss, minji gasp out loud.

both girls jumped apart, startled by the sudden intrusion. haerin’s face flushed a deep red, while yn seemed to dazed to care

“minji unnie!” haerin yelped, clearly mortified.

minji’s mouth opened and closed, caught somewhere between shock and fury. finally, she pointed an accusatory finger at yn. “you!”

yn just smirked, shrugging casually like it was no big deal, which only made haerin nudge her, eyes wide with mortification.

minji, unable to hold back any longer, marched over and grabbed yn’s wrist, yanking her up and away from haerin’s bed. “that’s it. I’m calling ruka unnie, and she’s taking you home. now.”

“oh, come on—” yn started, but minji shot her a look that could melt steel, silencing her.

dragging yn out of the room, minji paused at the doorway to throw one last, scathing glare over her shoulder. “and you,” she said to haerin, her tone low and foreboding. “we are talking later.”

the door slammed shut, leaving haerin groaning as she flopped back onto her bed, covering her face in utter embarrassment.

[elysiansparadise]

Synastry Observations IX

🩶Harmonious aspects between Uranus and Moon make them both able to vent with each other more easily. They feel that they do not have to keep their emotions to themselves and can show them freely with each other, not only because they genuinely try to understand each other, but also because they do not feel that the other judges them for being emotional or for feeling vulnerable. In addition, they help each other get out of their comfort zone and can bring a lot of variety to each other's lives, encouraging them to live new experiences that make them feel emotionally fulfilled.

🩶The aspects between Mars-Vesta create an extremely sensual and passionate atmosphere between you two, both seek to surrender and surrender completely to the other, succumb to their mutual fantasies and enjoy the other's body, flooding themselves with the most primal and burning desire. They want to give the other as much pleasure as they receive, a simple touch is enough to make them tremble, a kiss to belong to the other and one night to see an eternity together.

🩶When your chart ruler falls in the other person's 4th, 8th or 12th house, it is very likely that they will see you as an emotionally deep person, someone with a huge heart although reserved for those you truly appreciate. Sometimes you give them the impression that you read them very easily... too much for their liking. They feel like they can't hide anything from you and that you are able to truly see them for who they truly are. They may feel strangely drawn to you from the beginning and that way in which you touch the most sensitive fibers in the most beautiful and pleasant way.

🩶Moon falling in the other's 3rd house makes you both instinctively understand each other, you feel comfortable talking to the other and you find that the other seems to know exactly what you think or feel about something. There is a strong emotional and intellectual connection, they feel that they can open up to each other like no one else and it is even likely that they have quite similar opinions, experiences and ways of seeing things.

🩶When Juno makes a conjunction, trine or sextile to the other's North Node, a spark of being together can be born in both. They both feel that with each other they can commit to having a serious relationship and can see each other as husband/wife material. They awaken in each other a desire to be together and they can feel a strong loyalty to each other. It is very likely that they want to teach each other what it is like to have a reliable relationship, where love and effort is constant.

🩶Ceres aspecting Venus makes both love to take care of the other, likewise, they seek to satisfy the other's needs and give them everything they ask for, it is a mutual pampering and spoiling. They awaken the greatest and most intense adoration for each other and have the genuine desire to care for and protect their hearts. They both worship each other's bodies, they want to feel every pore of the other, slide their hands into that sensual figure that drives them so crazy. They love satisfying each other's romantic fantasies and making sure they feel the pleasure and love they deserve.

🩶If Mercury is conjunct the Descendant, it is very likely that you both think of each other romantically. Both feel intellectually stimulated by the other and see in the other person someone with a brilliant, beautiful and unique mind. This duo makes the other feel heard, understood and their interest in each other is noticeable. They help each other learn from each other, both on an individual level, and to discover what they are truly looking for in a partner.

🩶The aspects between Jupiter-Neptune mean that between you there is that feeling of being predestined to meet, and that feeling of having connected easily with the other, and despite having been fast, they make it feel so good. Both can frequently dream about each other and this causes them to have an idealized, deep and more positive vision of friendship/romance. They may find themselves daydreaming about each other and want to experience many things at their sides.

🩶When your stellium falls in someone's 9th house, there is a good chance they will see you as a person from whom they can learn a lot. You inspire them and they find themselves having many spontaneous realizations when they talk to you, likewise, they see you as an admirable person to whom they can turn for advice. Fun with you is guaranteed, but on many occasions you can give them reality checks [especially if your stellium is in an air or earth sign].

🩶When your Pallas is conjunct or making a trine with someone's Venus, they see you as a superior person, even out of their leagues. There is a touch of distinction in you, they know that you are not someone they can simply charm with words, for them you are someone who mixes grace, elegance and cunning, they cannot fool you and very often you keep them on their toes. There is a deep admiration from them towards you and both of you can often find yourself thinking about the other spontaneously throughout the day.

🩶When Mars falls in the other’s 3rd house there is a playful and teasing atmosphere around the two. They both challenge each other, laugh out loud with each other and quickly arouse interest. The others easily realize the tension between you, how that playful banter has overtones of desire involved, how between the jokes you make it clear that it is only with the other with whom you connect in this way. They can easily motivate or make the other feel energized, they mutually entertain each other.

🩶Vesta conjunct Moon awakens in each other the purest and most genuine emotions they have ever felt. There is a strong desire to preserve the happiness and comfort of others, to make those gestures that they like so much just to make them smile. There is a deep and pure adoration for the other, as well as a strong devotion that can endure no matter how much time passes. Sensitivity, deep conversations and the feeling of being safe flow between you.

🩶The house in which someone's Pars of Fortune falls will be the area that begins to flow for you or the aspect of your life in which your partner can help you feel more fulfilled. When it falls in the 1st, 2nd or 5th house you can feel that your self-confidence increases considerably. If it falls in your 2nd, 8th or 11th house you may feel that your finances flow better since you are with them. If it falls in your 3rd, 5th, or 12th house, you can feel more creative. In earth houses [2nd, 6th, 10th] you can feel that you progress professionally more easily.

🩶The aspects between Sun-Neptune mean that there is a need in both, a desire to know each other on a deeper level. When we see this aspect, it is very likely that in you there is not only a strong connection, but an ease in understanding each other. You both love each other unconditionally regardless of the flaws or differences between you, you both know how to look beyond it and small differences do not make your love for each other diminish. A lot of support, care and fascination for each other. They could have easily fallen in love with each other.

[wheneverfeasible]

I feel like Steve could be oblivious at first, catch on but still pretend to be oblivious to see how long it takes Edie to cut to the chase. Steve and Robin have a bet going on how long before Eddie asks Steve to court.

The post in question.

He hadn’t noticed at first, what Eddie had meant. He wasn’t stupid, or an idiot, no matter how much others might say he was. He just…didn’t get everything everyone said all the time, especially when they weren’t being straight forward. And let’s face it, some of Eddie’s puns were truly horrendous.

It was funny though, and honestly kind of endearing, not that he’d ever tell Robin that lest he never live it down. She was brutal about things like that, and she already made fun of himself for falling for Eddie Munson of all people.

“I thought you had standards, dingus,” she’d huffed after he’d broken down and confessed his growing feelings for their friend, absolutely certain that his feelings would never be returned and wanting to do nothing to risk that friendship.

How was he to know that Eddie’s lingering touches and trailing gaze meant the guy wanted to bone him? He wasn’t used to others making the first move. He might be omega, but he still was the one that had to seek out the others he had wanted to date. He wasn’t used to someone else taking the initiative.

Hell, he’d thought Eddie had been making fun of his moles the first few times he complimented them, like when he started talking about how he wished he were those same moles so that he could stay close to Steve’s beautiful neck. Steve could smack his own head for not understanding soon, but he did now.

Oh, he definitely did. And he was delirious with joy about it.

At first, when Steve first realized Eddie was interested in him, it had kind of bummed him out actually. He had thought Eddie actively enjoyed spending time with him, but then he’d began second guessing that. Began wondering if Eddie only put up with him because he wanted to hit it.

The thought that Eddie could ever like him the way he liked Eddie hadn’t even crossed his mind at first. At least not until he began noticing more and more of Eddie’s pickup lines were involving his neck. Until they exclusively consisted of his neck.

“Your beautiful neck must be tired, because it was running around in my dreams all night,” Eddie all but purred as he leaned on the counter at Family Video, looking up at Steve through his lashes with a grin that sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. Not that he let any indication of that show in his expression.

“That must have been terrifying,” he said, sounding innocently confused. “Just my neck? What, did it have like little legs or something?” He shuddered. “Creepy, dude.”

He had to pinch himself beneath the counter so that he didn’t smile at the disappointed look on Eddie’s face. Robin dropped a stack of movies to cover her snort, not that it did it well. Eddie obviously didn’t suspect anything at least.

“Right,” Eddie said after a moment, and flashing Steve another quick but rueful grin, pushed off the counter to walk backwards towards the door. “Guess I’ll see you neck time, Stevie,” he said with a wink before slipping out the door with a soft jingle of the bells.

It was only when Eddie’s van was no longer visible through the glass panes of the windows at the front of the store that Steve let the absolutely besotted smile spread across his face. He dropped down on the counter where Eddie had just been leaning, feeling the afterimage of his body heat still radiating from the surface.

“You really picked a doofus there, dingus,” Robin dryly remarked as she began sorting through the stack of tapes, popping open the plastic cases to make certain they had all be rewound and removing the ones that hadn’t.

“I know,” Steve dreamily sighed.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t already asked you yet what with how obvious you are. I can smell your desperation from here.”

“You’re a beta!” Steve said, tone scandalized, as he jumped up from where he was collapsed against the counter to turn and point at Robin.

“Yeah, that’s how badly you stink,” she snorted. “Just remember, no cheating or I win,” she added with a smirk.

Steve rolled his eyes, turning his back to her with a huff to return to his own duties. He couldn’t help but smile a little again, because Eddie Munson wanted to court him. And, judging by how much Eddie talked about his neck, he wanted the official mating at the end as well.

He sighed dreamily once more, not even bothering to do more than lazily flip Robin off when she threw a bag of sunflower seeds at his head.

And that was how things went. Eddie would tell Steve terrible pickup lines involving his neck, Steve would play at being oblivious, and secretly he and Robin would bet on how long it would take for Eddie to just give up and ask him straight out. You know. Like a normal person.

Not that Eddie Munson could ever be accused of being normal. Which was one of the things Steve loved most about the man. He just wished Eddie would hurry up and get the picture.

Until then, he would have to put up with these godawful pickup lines and puns and continue pretending like he didn’t know what the ridiculous alpha meant.

“Did you get a driving ticket from a vampire, because your neck has fine written all over it.”

“You know sometimes I still get nightmares about being turned into a vampire by the demobats. Being a vampire wasn’t the nightmare part though. It was the fact that I couldn’t have garlic bread ever again.”

“…”

“You’d have to die first to become a vampire, dingus. Munson’s the only one that died here.”

“Only temporarily!”

“Yeah! I gave him CPR.”

“What I wouldn’t give to remember the resuscitation process there, Stevie.”

“What I wouldn’t give to forget it.”

“Robin! Eddie could have become a vampire! He’d never be able to have garlic bread again!”

“…” A defeated sigh.

And then a week later.

“Is your neck a map? Because I think I just found some treasure.”

“One time Robin wanted to use a marker to see if she could draw a pattern with my moles. But she accidentally used a sharpie. Do you know how hard it is to wash sharpie off your own back?”

“…” Then: “I could help you out in the shower next time, Stevie.”

“Oh it’s fine, that was months ago so it’s all gone now.”

Steve thought Eddie might bash his head against the table then, but he merely muttered something under his breath with a shake of his head and continued eating his meal. Too bad Eddie wouldn’t just come out and say it was a date, because Steve would really love to kiss him.

But the pickup lines just kept coming. Never ending. Robin cackled each time she witnessed one, though obviously after Eddie left after Steve’s continued oblivious act, but Steve was getting impatient. He really wished Eddie would just hurry up and ask him.

“If I said you had a beautiful neck, would you hold it against me?”

“Aw, thanks, man. I love getting compliments from friends. If only I could find an alpha like you.”

And okay, maybe Steve was *slightly* cheating with that one. But Robin wasn’t around and Eddie, lord help him, just gave him a look that totally said that he was silently screaming. But he still…

Didn’t.

Ask.

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He really, really couldn’t.

At all.

“Are we in a museum, because your neck is a work of ar—”

“If I was a guitar, would you grab me by the neck while fingering me from behind to see what noises I can make?”

Steve didn’t react at all when coffee sprayed from Robin’s mouth, simply staring Eddie straight in the eyes as the other man choked on his words, Eddie’s eyes wide and face turning rapidly pink.

When Eddie still made no response besides staring at him while Robin let out a slew of curses as she tried to clean herself up, Steve just raised an imperious brow.

“Well?”

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath, snapping out of his frozen state to begin nodding his head rapidly like a puppet with loose strings. “Uh. Yup. Uh huh. Yes. Yup.”

Steve smirked, leaning in towards Eddie and lightly arching his neck to the side. “I’ve been told my neck smells like candy. Why don’t you taste it and find out.”

As Eddie spluttered, Steve reached into his pocket for his wallet, pulling out the crisp $20 bill there and sliding it over to Robin without bothering to look her way. They could always make another bet later.

Like how long until Eddie asked to put his pups in him.

Judging by the slowly growing, manic smile on his face as he seemed to finally catch on to the situation, Steve figured it wouldn’t be long.

Which was just fine by him.

Maybe he’d ask Eddie first again.

Or maybe they’d do it together neck-and-neck.

~

Thank you, @foulwitchknight, for that fantastic initial post. I just couldn’t help but do a little something with it after you answered my musings. 😉

Hostage Hotties:

@derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @honeii-puff @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-wierdlife

@everywherenothere

[agatalunar]

· . ˚ *  * How do others perceive you? · . ˚ *  *

it would be a pleasure for me if you let me know if the reading resonated with you so do not hesitate to send me a message, comment or reblog, it will make me immensely happy

choose the gif with which you feel most connected/attracted

Pile 1… 2… 3…

⠀〜 Pile 1

Cards: king of wands, the moon, the justice, eight of cups

You are afraid that others will see who you really are and others notice this, they see potential in you but for some reason you don't dare to express it. You have a lot of light inside you but something stops you, you have an infectious laugh. It's as if you wanted to be a rockstar but in your environment you avoid being perceived, there is no balance between what you want and what you do. Others perceive that you hide, but... why do you do it?

You may think that you don't stand out in the crowd, but it's quite the opposite. No matter how basic you dress or how little you speak, you always have eyes looking at you and admiring you.

It's like you're a greek goddess/god trapped in the body of a mere mortal, there's a potential in you that others perceive; little by little take control of that potential, play with makeup and clothes, play with the way you walk and act, you have a mesmerizing aura that others can't resist. Don't be afraid of being perceived. Don't let fear take away your path to success, the world is waiting for you. I don't even know you but I love your energy, you are a star baby!! The world needs an icon of freedom and authenticity like you.

The vibe you bring to the function:

Things that may resonate with you or are significant:

Luces de Nueva York by Sonora Santanera, Hold me tight by BTS, “can you trust me?”, wear a lot of black, having hair up/short, redhead, 11, 18, Endlessly by Kali Uchis, “watch me with your eyes”, Chappell Roan, Vanity by Christina Aguilera, 1920, 🏳️‍🌈, queer, 888, Bjork, feminine power, “who’s the real me?”, Villain by PIXY, have an audience, fill stages

⠀〜 Pile 2

Cards: ace of wands, king of cups, queen of swords and nine of cups

You don't let others take power over you, others notice the limits you set and that can sometimes intimidate them. You're like that person at the party that everyone wants to talk to but they don't because you have such a strong energy, they love to admire you. No matter how you identify, you have a super well-balanced masculine and feminine energy.

Others love your hair, the way you move when you dance, you may really like silver jewelry or accessories, animal print? Others notice that you have a very mature energy, they perceive you as someone responsible and who knows what they want in life, you are an extremely attractive person, you are such a beautiful human being that your beauty imposes

You love spending time alone or at least you know that your happiness doesn't depend on others, it only depends on you. Although maybe the only thing you haven't completely healed is the fact of feeling vulnerable with someone else, and yes, I'm talking about loving connections. Let your soul feel what it's like to be in love, let someone like you. Don't let the fear of being sensitive take away the possibility of creating deep and beautiful connections.

The vibe you bring to the function:

Things that may resonate with you or are significant:

Heavens on fire by KISS, 9, Lo que Paso Paso by Daddy Yankee, Can’t get you out of my head by Kylie Minogue, scary beauty, Never say never by The fray, When loves is around by Zayn (feat.Syd), dance to transmute energy, 🐆, 🤎, black hair, Bad girl by WOOAH, Lest fall in love for the morning by Finneas, Hey Ma by Pitbull, You should be dancing by Bee Gees, fast and furious, She’s not afraid by One Direction

⠀〜 Pile 3

Cards: knight of coins, seven of wands, eight of cups and the death

You have a very calm energy, others perceive you as a peaceful person, you have very diverse tastes.

You are a very beautiful person but you don't notice it? Or you just don't give it any importance. Others love spending time with you because your presence attracts calm, you love to see the sky, you probably meditate or you like philosophy and reading a lot, you like to write. They love you because you are not one to criticize, you just want to take it easy, you understand that each individual goes their own way.

Somehow I feel that you have the gift of transmuting the energy of others, the negative energy of the world, you do it automatically so take good care of yourself, rest and eat well. You are like a teacher of life, possibly your soul is an old soul. You let others know a lot about your tastes, your personality and your law of life but you don't let them get too close to your personal life, I don't see it as something bad but understand that there are people in the world that you can trust, not all of them are selfish or bad.

The vibe you bring to the function:

Things that may resonate with you or are significant:

Sagittarius, air sign, indie kid, Sex, drugs, etc by Beach Weather, alternative music, lying on the grass/admiring the scenery, the pandemic is significant in your life, viral music from tiktok or music from 2019-2021, I love it by Charlie XCX, kpop, Work - Rihanna, Break free by Ariana Grande, diary, Emma Chamberlain, 5, goblin/fairy vibe, Doja Cat, “talking bad is not my style”

Thanks for your time and energy, I hope you liked it <3

[marsprincess889]

Ketu in the houses

Doing smaller(in this case not so much, but it's still more elementary and formulaic) posts before dropping the big ones. I know you all are going to love this (my blog has become a ketu information hub for a lot of you 😅🙃)

As always, keep in mind: ketu is very internal and personal. I can give you basic descriptions and observations but to connect with your ketu, due to its essence and nature, I think you'll have to shut out a lot of the noise and just listen to yourself. That concerns everything. So, if your truth is telling you that I or someone's description is incorrect, then trust it. Be careful while examining that.

Ketu in the 1st house:

Automatic and natural possession of the physical body. Comfortable in their own skin, sometimes too comfortable. Have an appearance that suits natural adornment. Quality pieces look extra good on them, but even they wear/carry something "cheap", it still somehow works. They don't have to really think about their appearance, but if they do start to, it might have enormous impact on others. They're not really fans of trendy looks of the moment as I've observed, they have the power to set the trends themselves but I'd say most of them are not aware of that. Might be loud while talking and have a sort of unrestrained/unfazed demeanor. On ther hand, they might also be really quiet.

When all else fails, just focus on yourself. Keep coming back to yourself in times of crisis. You have good health but don't ignore it, this placement might not even give you the permission to. You have enormous privilege of having amazing power, don't waste it.

Ketu in the 2nd house:

Hoarders, collectors, but not intentionally. Possessions have meanings attached to them. Intuitively have a knowing of what should go into their body and follow it, even if others disagree. Good at measuring the worth of things or people. Relaxed face. Sort of disconnected from their family or lineage, or seem that way. Family support was convenient in childhood but might have been taken for granted. Deeper voice(?), slightly intimidating way of speaking. Great singers(?).

You can always ground yourself, no matter how strongly it seems otherwise. The support and the family can be all around you if you find it inside yourself first.

Ketu in the 3rd house:

This is my placement, so it's gonna be longer(cause I have more info, not cause I'm arrogant😭) so bear with me.

Aware and alert but ironically might not be aware of this at first. Great instincts, naturally skilled. The information field is constantly on their radar. A lot of what they observe is boring to them, and they absorb everything. Movements are natural/effortless. Might look clumsy or careless with movements or speaking sometimes but they have it together, more than others and more than it shows. Have the ability to skillfully get out of sticky situations. Survivors. They have creative ways of managing tasks. Great with details but confused with too much data, they consider it pointless. Can get to the bottom of things. Can play devil's advocate but they often don't want to. Can argue but it's mainly to increase a sense of self-possession. Their "trivial" words have more meaning than they or others assume at first. Don't say a lot of what they know. Might be surprised that things that are obvious to them elude others. More shrewd than they look, but they themselves consider a lot of "shrewd" and "cunning" strategies dumb and superficial. WILL NOT trust others before analyzing them in their head. Quick, kind of messy minds but still somehow organized and sensible. Love to dig and investigate. Trust themselves before anyone else. Know that they know stuff but can't show the whole truth of it easily. Use confusion as a weapon. Relationships with siblings, cousins and childhood friends are nuanced, interesting and kind of cimplicated. Town/neighborhood black sheep but still fit there the best.

Ehh, what can I say, you're doing amazing keep going. 😭 The truth will come, don't worry, boredom is not forever and sometimes it's better than anything. Anxiety is a warning, get that b*tch out of your system, connect to what makes you calm. Look around you and get rooted to your life, like you know how to do.

Ketu in the 4th house:

Strongly tied to their home/family, whether they want/like it or not. Private about family life. Need their space a lot. Sort of clingy to their family and home but at the same time want to break out of it. Get defensive if you get too close or vulnerable. Have a natural ability to nurture but always nurture themselves first. Familial responsibility is embedded in them. May have been spoiled with attention, especially in childhood but have hated it, or have come to hate it. On the other hand, might have felt very ignored by their family memebers. Might have a very traditional family that values culture, upholding to moralities, and appearance.

Family is not the worst thing in the world and I know the ties might hurt, but there is truth and stability there for you. Find peace there and the rest will fall in place.

Ketu in the 5th house:

Fun, creativity, art has deep meaning to them. Life is built on entertainment for them. Their life is a soap opera. Dramatic and expressive. Art is their religion. Can be ignorant of other's preferences and naturally assert dominance when the situation concerns creativity, entertainment and art, even remotely. Only know what they like and don't seek to be trendy in their preferences, it's very personal to these natives. Can be selfish and get lost in hedonism. Don't discriminate between pop and indie, or discriminate harshly. Not easily infulenced in general but easily persuaded if you know their "weak points"/preferences. Generous with their attention if others can pay even more attention to them.

Yeah, life is art, but it's not for profit and not always for show. Learn to be humble when life demands it. It IS your life, but before you get lost in the art, make sure you're rooted in the truth of it.

Ketu in the 6th house:

Resilient, distrustful but relaxed. Healthy and helpful, very practical and balanced. Might have had health struggles that have shaped them and made them stronger. Natural medicine>chemicals. Will take chemicals if they consider it correct and see no other way. Expert at making the best out of the worst situations. Not confrontational but can put people in their place. On the other hand, might not hesitate one bit and be direct in times of tension. Know how to look after themselves and hate it when others interfere. Won't take advice even from close people, have a very unique and personalised way of looking after themselves, as well as a unique/personalised routine. Obstacles might persist but they can't to much to these people. Skillful and quietly cunning but it's not much work.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and squeeze them in other people's eyes if needed. You gotta be selfish sometimes, what can you do. Every day is a gift and the routine is a privilge. Don't be mean about it.

Ketu in the 7th house:

Lovers and supporters. Recognize other people easily and connect to them deeply and effortlessly. Charming and genuine. Recogize the truth behind connections and human behavior, sensitive to one-on-one dynamics. Good listeners, excellent company, giving and humble but know how they gain from relationships and connections. Value harmony and conflict resolution. Naturally attune to others and find their sense of self through them. Know how and what to sacrifice for others but have strong and specific boundaries. Love has a deep meaning to them, any kind of love. Important relationships are full of intricacy and are laced with destiny.

We are parts of something bigger than us, and we all have stories to tell. Keep finding yourself through other people and keep helping others find themselves. "Karmic" ties are not punishment, they're the simple truth.

Ketu in the 8th house:

Complicted internally, don't make much of it. Each crisis is an opportunity to gain. Survival IS life. Never reveal too much of themselves and easily read others, but can be stubborn about seeings things in only their way. Incorrect judgement costs them a lot, correct judgement gives them enormous power. Struggle anyways. Casually intense. Se×ual and private. Privacy is a must. Go through a lot of pain and become savage if their privacy is invaded. Know that selfishness is very selfless. Quietly independent, confidently dependant, carefully engaging. Adaptible but out of necessity. Hide their intensity, along with other things, very well.

The complications are alright, don't be afraid of the unknown, or fear itself. It's okay to go deep, it's okay to not, it's ok to survive however it is possible for you.

Ketu in the 9th house:

Philosophy is natural. They find truth everywhere if only they detach. They seem "higher" than others, and seem to be enjoying it. Truth is simple and exhilirating for them. They need their freedom. They exude a sense of wander and assuredness. Don't really care about conventional morals as most people see them and have a hightly personal sense of right and wrong. Religion is very familiar to them, whatever it has been. Talk to "god" and "the divine" to feel comfort, might not realize it fully. Their faith has been tested and strengthened, and they themselves might have tested their own others' faith. Might feel like nobody will understand their exact beliefs, but understand others' beliefs. Even if they feel lonely sometimes, places of worship feel weirdly reasuring. Can become a little arrogant.

Your ideals are not too high and mighty. You know what you know, and you should know that you do. Not everyone can ground themselves in a grand and utopian place. Don't let possible arrogance blur or exaggerate it.

Ketu in the 10th house:

Legacy is inherited. The world can feel like their oyster. Even if not much is going well, they might feel supported by people in power, and usually, they are, even though they never really asked for it. Older people and those with more experience bring out their natural competence and maturity. Might come from a line of influence, usually from father's side. Easily gain aqcuaintances but feel like they have to work hard to gain and keep friends. Might feel like they have much to lose but don't worry about it. Family prince/princess, or people's prince/princess, but in a quiet way. Naturally self-possessed. Might feel chained by obligations.

There are those who will stand by you as you pull back and detach. When you go into the world, people see you, and you know how to act. You don't really care about your reputation, but it cares about you. Don't lose a good thing, embrace and enjoy it, because in that, you will find your truth and your power. That stability that is too familiar to you, it's a huge privilege.

Ketu in the 11th house:

Everyone's friend, everyone's confidante, one of the girls/boys. The gang is what they trust, but they don't look for the gang. The gang is just there. Friends flock to them and they welcome all, but friendships are private and their business. The kind of people that don't have to do anything for friends to find them. Might feel like they act like a constant chameleon to everyone but feel comfortable in that place. Can be too neutral to strangers, but become proud activists for causes that are close to their heart. Strongly unbiased and multi-faceted. Others feel relieved when they're around at gatherings. Can be very uncaring and dismissive, unless you are one of their people.

You're lucky with support. Even if friends have dissapointed you, you have gotten something valuable and worthy out if it. There are those that are your people, and those that aren't. Don't lose sight of that, but be honest with discerning who is who.

Ketu in the 12th house:

What really lights them is hidden and reserved only for them. Selfless like it's nothing. Deep and understanding, floating through life like a fish following their own current. They can gently hold your hand through harshest times but it's so subtle you'll barely realize you've been affected by them by the time it's almost done. When they get lost, they really get lost, and that's when and where find themselves. Hate to force things and know how to be humble. Private like no one else. If life gets too hollow they become a recluse. Nobody sees what depths they carry within at first, but some might suspect, by their restrained behavior, or by an innocent yet wise look in their eyes. They're not mad when they go into themselves, and no matter how much you try to get to them, if they can't, they won't hear you. But it does not matter. In their own way, they hear and see everyone, and through them, they see and hear themselves.

Oh, yes, confusion is huge and it seems overwhelming. You know how to find comfort in that. So many sides to life, so many truths. If others tell you you're deluded, do not forget that everyone is. When your sacrifice and martyrdom becomes too much, stay only with yourself once more.