#sometimes she makes me feel bad for not having a better relationship w her but then i remember *everything* and don’t feel as bad

[placeinthisworld]

MY MOM SAID I COULD HAVE HER GORGEOUS PURPLE KITCHEN AID MIXER IM GOING TO THROW UP

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[l8dyvenus]

astrology observations. #5

+ Moon in 4th tend to look for partners that remind them of their mothers. If placed in a man’s chart, I typically see this as them going for older women. 👩‍👦

regardless, If you want to bag a cancer placement man, nurture him or act like his mother. It will literally do the trick🙃trust me, I know, it’s literally how I bagged my boyfriend. but be careful, they most definitely have breeding kicks especially mixed w Virgo.

and if they are ethnic, learn more about the culture or ask about it. take trips to their homeland too! or just simply do your own research to impress them.

+ it’s true, Libra suns run from conflict or ignore it. and if mixed with Water placements in a chart, they tend to lie to try to keep the peace. sometimes it does backfire on them.

+ Leo moons, did your mom always try to humble you?

+ Cancers and Taurus’s go so well together 🥹

+ I noticed that people who’s planet(s) fall into my 8th house tend to give/buy me things everytime I see them. I literally don’t even have to ask. they give me more compliments and find me pretty than people who’s planets fall into my 1st. 🤣

As a 8th house Stellium, I loveeeee people who fall into my 8th house, never had an bad encounter we just always clicked🫶🏾.

+ read a post that said Mars in 4th H takes on which ever parent shows that aggressive impatience nature and whewww, they didn’t have to read me like that 🤭.

+ a Scorpio moon once told me, “if they are not obsessed with me, I just don’t think they like me fr” LMFAOOO

+ All Scorpio moons aren’t as bad as portrayed to be, it really just depends on their relationship with their mother. I see this placement as like having a Cancer/4th house moon. even though Scorpio is at fault in this position, it shows greatly that the mother has a MAJOR influence and role on how they act, respond, their mindset, and characteristics. and all Scorpio moons and their relationship with their mothers are not bad either. but they could be over smothering. either a light helicopter parent, or a over the extent helicopter parent. I noticed that it depends on how well the moon is aspected. when the moon is negatively aspected, the moon person typically takes on the toxic characteristics and personality of their mothers which makes them destructive and “bad” as the stereotype. when not negatively aspecting, they are much more self/socially aware and conscious. not saying that negative aspected moons can’t be more self evolved, but they tend to have the shorter end of the stick. they just have take that journey to get there.

I met a Scorpio moon where his moon was well aspected with trines and sextiles to harmonious planets. His mother wasn’t abusive, narcissistic or any of that sort. Scorpio moon people typically were born at a time where it was very inconvenient traumatic time for the parents, especially the mother. This showed up in his chart as his mother being over protective and overly affectionate. Not necessarily an over the extent “helicopter” parent, but he would tell me she calls him everyday, sends him bible scriptures, tried to put him in the best schools, best positions in life to be better or have better than she had. Although majority of the choices she made for him, is not what he wanted, he knows that it’s from the good intentions of her heart. Pluto = evolution, death/rebirth, betterment, etc, so her actions showed up as wanting to protect him in her own traumatic way but also wanting him to evolve into something better.

+ Justice from the movie Poetic Justice definitely had Venus in the 8th H 💌

side note - I feel like erykah badu does too. I saw a post saying that every man she dealt with when they met her weren’t self evolve, then after their relationship they were all into the occult and dressed bohemian lmfaooo. like literally, search up erykah badu and the guys she dated, how they look then and now.

+ Neptune in the 4th, is it just me or is it hard to get anything done in your house without feeling tired? I have a lot of energy outside of my home, but when I get to my moms place I feel lazy and especially depressive. It’s hard for me to do anything. I didn’t realize that until I recently left for college then came back for visits, and then permanently stayed. Lmk 👄?

+ a Uranus dom or heavily placed in a males chart most definitely likes to paint his own nails. I don’t know if he is or not, but search up Dennis Rodman. He gives me Uranus Dom Vibes.

+ on the topic of Uranus, Aquarius, Leo, & Virgo placements in 8th degree are very experimental, but they can be deep into things like the dark web, bdsm, smut, abusive sex, etc. like really dark sexual shit.

+ Capricorn placements and the dying urge to crack the hell out of every bone in their body just for fun >> 😼

+ Aquarius moons tend to run to their friends for every thing, especially when it comes to family matters. friends could be an outlet for venting. But I noticed they tend to have a weird relationship with them. One minute they can have a lot of close friends and the next, those same close friends aren’t very close anymore.

+ water placements (especially moons) pay attention to how you feel around ppl. that is your biggest gift.

Anyways, CIAO! 😽

MASTERLIST

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

Every Little Bit | Billy Washington x SexuallyConfident!reader

Summary: Billy has never been the confident one in the relationship. So you endeavour to make him feel how he deserves | Word Count: | Warnings below the cut!

Links to my Taglists: General Taglist | Billy W Taglist

requested by @randomdragonfires, sorry it's taken me so long to get round to it 😅

Warnings: mentions of a bad past relationship, p in v sex, mentions of feeling inadequate, confidence issues, masturbation (f and m), cumplay, voyeurism, use of sex toys, overstim

Out of all the guys she’d been with, Billy Washington seemed the most innocent-looking.

He had the face for it. With those big blue eyes, messy blonde hair and the irresistible way he would nervously lick his soft pink lips when he was anxious.

She wasn’t ashamed to say that it excited her.

In complete contrast to that, he was tall, broad, with a sharp jawline and a sometimes striking gaze when his eyelids were hooded. Sometimes she found herself just looking at his hands as he wringed them, how his long, thick fingers curled around each other, tucking into his palms.

He was a somewhat introverted guy, she found out. But it was endearing. He was a listener, when he was sober, fading into the background as much as a tall guy could, his eyes darting to whoever was speaking. But when he had a drink in his hand and some beer in his belly, he began to come out of his shell a little, yet still softly spoken. Choosing his words carefully to not draw too much attention to himself.

It was a shame, she mused.

She chalked it up mostly to his ex-girlfriend, who, from what she’d heard, had done very little to quell his nerves and insecurities. In fact, it seemed like she nurtured them, in order to perhaps feel better about herself.

That was the biggest crime of all. Forcing Billy to feel lesser than he was.

Than he deserved.

In their moments of quiet within his flat, legs tangled beneath the sheets, with his head pressed between her shoulder and chest as she absent-mindedly played with his hair, he would often say.

“Why the hell are you with a guy like me?”

The question didn’t come from nowhere. It was a familiar one, and asked often.

She never knew why he’d even ask?

“You could have any guy you wanted”

But she wants him.

What about that is so difficult to understand?

She quickly discovered though, that it was because Billy thought he wasn’t satisfying her.

So often had his ex expressed disappointment, with faked orgasms or huffs of annoyance, that Billy thought himself incapable of giving a single female pleasure.

She thought it was absurd.

The way Billy approached sex was another thing.

It was clear he wasn’t confident, unclear more so if he ever had been. He’d obviously had his fair share of girlfriends, had sexual relationships with most of them, but had never really allowed himself to be vulnerable with any of them intimately.

Not to mention, she doubted he’d ever divulged what he liked.

A people pleaser, through and through.

She knew he was only human. That beneath that good boy exterior there was something. Things he liked, but wouldn’t dare to ask for. Things he might have wanted to do to her, but wouldn’t say out loud.

It was a mission, to find out what made Billy Washington click.

Being unapologetically sexual was never an issue for her. Nor communication with previous partners (at least on her side anyway). Not that she was perfect in her opinion by any stretch, but she always, always, knew what she wanted. In her eyes, there was no need to be embarrassed about what you desire, or about telling that to the person that you trust and love.

Clearly, Billy’s trust had been shattered before she came into his life.

She looked up from her phone as she heard the front door, the clanging of keys in a bowl and shuffling of long, muffled footsteps.

A mischievous smile grew on her face as she laid atop his bed, in only his long t-shirt and nothing else, one hand pressed between her mid thighs to warm and comfort the hand that wasn't scrolling through her phone.

She heard his exasperated sigh and saw his sandy, blond hair as he turned towards the bedroom, halting on the spot as his baby blue eyes locked onto her legs first, trailing upwards to where the skin was covered by his shirt.

His cheeks were flushed. He'd obviously had a pint.

"Have a good time?", she asked warmly.

She saw him swallow thickly, his full lips parting to remember to breathe, "Mmhm".

Flopping her phone onto the bedside table, she rested her head in her palm, "What's up?"

Billy had to shake his head a few times to rid himself of what he thought was a trance, no doubt doubled by the little bit of alcohol in his system, "U-uh, nothing…" he murmured, pulling off his jacket  and stepping across the threshold.

"Were you uh…waiting up for me?", Billy asked with a hint of hope in his voice that was difficult to miss.

She slides off the bed, shuffling up to his tall, broad figure, having to crane her neck to look at him properly through her eyelashes. Billy shivers noticeably as her hands drift across his chest, her fingers teasing the skin of his torso through the thin fabric of his shirt.

Though they'd been together for some time, even Billy understood, there was something different about tonight.

"What if I was?", she replies, a teasing lilt to her voice that makes Billy's hairs stand up on end.

He presses his lips together, feeling increasingly pent up by the second, as if her touch is setting off a chain reaction inside him, and he is fit to burst.

“What if I was thinking about you?”, she muses in a low tone, smiling when she feels him tense under her touch.

“About me?...”

“Yeah”

“In…what way?” he asks innocently.

She thinks, feigning disinterest for a moment as she bites her lip.

“I’ve been thinking, that you don’t tell me what you want”.

She watches his brows lower a bit in confusion, “...what I want?”

“Mmhm”, she replies, “in the bedroom anyway”.

“Oh”

She smiled with delight as his cheeks warmed, the redness blooming over his face, making his deep, blue eyes gleam from beneath his sweeping blonde hair.

Almost in a trance, Billy's hands drift beneath her arms to her waist, sucking the large shirt she wore to the actual shape of her body. She watched his face as his lips parted.

Billy didn't know what to say.

"I, uh…"

"You can tell me, Billy" she reassured quietly, watching his breath hitch, and his chest move more steadily as her fingers brushed the skin beneath his shirt.

She stopped when his hands came to hers, to gently, but firmly, push them off him.

“Not tonight…” he whispered, so quiet she nearly had to strain to hear him, “...please”.

How he said it was so vulnerable, his eyes blinking quickly, that she knew and took the cue to not even go about asking what was really wrong with him. She suspected it was something much deeper, something that needed a lengthy explanation, and one that right now he couldn’t give her.

She gave him a reassuring smile, letting him know that he needn’t feel like he was disappointing her.

She thought with a warmth in her heart, that Billy had come home, wavy from only one pint, only wanting to be held, have her fingers stroking his hair until he fell asleep.

So tonight, without judgement, she gave him comfort.

And would let him come to her when he was ready.

She loved mornings like this.

Lazy, hazy Saturdays.

The middle of the weekend. Leaving the stressful memory of Friday, flung headlong into the lull that Saturday offered, and without the threat of Sunday, knowing that the work week would just continue all over again.

With the bed sheets tucked around her idly, she scrolled through her phone with heavy eyelids, she could hear the faint tapping of the shower in the background and the occasional splash of water as Billy washed his hair.

The dust was illuminated as it drifted through the air, the atmosphere one a kind of homely, cosiness. The music from one of the speakers in the other room filled the gentle silence.

It was so domestic, she could only describe it that way. One that filled a space inside her that made her feel as if she could stay like this forever.

She thought of him, in the shower, water running off of him and his blonde hair all wet and pushed back from his forehead with his fingers. And for some reason, though they’d been together a long time, the idea of that still excited her.

It was useless to ignore how she pressed her thighs together.

It had been a few days since she and Billy were last intimate. And though she tried the night before, it was clear as anything he was in no mood for anything overtly sexual, favouring instead to bask in their closeness. She didn’t mind it. She would much rather him state if he wasn’t in the mood, than for him to push it aside, and struggle to keep the momentum going and be passionate once they were in the throes of it.

Because that would only fuel the inadequacy Billy felt.

And she wasn’t having that.

Tucking her phone beneath the pillow, she sighed as her hand slipped between her legs, finding herself already wet and wanting at the mere thought of her boyfriend in the shower. If she weren’t so pent up, she would have said to herself it was slightly pathetic, to be this aroused just by thinking about someone she saw everyday naked.

But she just couldn’t help herself.

She pressed her lips together, suppressing a sound that bubbled up there as her digits moved through her slick folds, her hips jolting slightly when her middle finger began to rub in micro-movements over her bud. Imagining it was him. His long,thick fingers…

She sunk further into the bed, the idle sound of muffled music in the background granting her the confidence to part her lips and let her quiet moans rumble in her chest.

With one hand pleasuring herself, the other slipped beneath her shirt to touch her own breast, again pretending they were his, large and calloused, gripping at her flesh hungrily, squeezing her nipples between his fingers desperately.

That dull buzz began to throb between her legs, and she paid more attention to her clit where she increased her movements.

Her head whipped to the doorway, her eyes flying open and breath caught in her chest, all movements ceased.

Her first instinct was to blush in embarrassment as Billy stood in the doorway, his blue eyes slowly drifting from where her hands were tucked and then to her eyes, absorbing the hedonistic and shy expression on her face.

Billy just stood there, clad only in his sweatpants that hung lowly on his hips, and the appearance of his body so unabashedly bared, the little trail of dark blonde hair leading down from his navel beneath the waistband, made that little buzz only ache tighter inside her. His hair was towel dried and pushed back off his forehead, the sandy strands darkened with moisture and laying messily on his head.

She wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

He saw her swallow nervously, seeing her not know what to do as he’d happened upon her in a very delicate moment, so lost in her pleasure that she had not heard him turn off the shower and open the door.

Her mouth went dry as she saw beneath his dark sweatpants, that he was undeniably hard, his erection pressed against his thigh.

Billy breathed steadily, his eyes flitting down once he realised she had stopped what she’d been doing.

His throat bobbed and he wet his lips as he spoke, “Keep going”.

Heat crawled up her neck to her face, and she was certain she was blushing furiously at what he’d said.

Never in their relationship had she seen him speak to her like he just had. All low and deep in his chest, with his usually gleaming, blue eyes darkened by his pupils expanding into the colour.

After she was sure she heard him correctly, she resumed her motions slowly at first, getting back into the motion steadily as she had before. Her head felt like it was full of hot air, once she saw Billy’s large hand slip past the waistband of his sweatpants and grip his length in his palm. Even from her spot on the bed, she saw the way he fisted his erection, his eyes fixed on her core, all wet and hot, peeking out from beneath the hem of his own shirt.

It felt so erotic, pleasuring himself when he was right there watching her, annoyingly far away where she couldn’t touch him.

A sound largely between a groan of annoyance and a moan of pleasure as her movements increased tumbled past her lips. And she was sure that she saw Billy’s eyes light up as he saw how irritated she was that she couldn’t reach out to him. To touch him as she so often couldn’t help herself from doing when they were intimate with each other.

“Billy...” she breathed, hoping that her tone of voice would be enough.

“Show me” his voice was firm, but with a waver at the end as his motions beneath his sweatpants increased, his chest all tense as his core tightened with pleasure.

Feeling her face all hot with both embarrassment and arousal, she pushed her ankles apart even more, doing as he said and exposing herself to him as he pleasured herself, finally sinking her fingers inside her. Her arousal audibly clicked against her fingers as she hastened her ministrations, trying so badly to achieve fulfilment herself.

But with him in the room, so far away but within reach, all she felt was that she needed him to give it to her.

Billy sighed, his pink lips parted as his gaze returned to her weeping arousal between her legs, seeing the effect he had on her without having touched her.

Using his other hand, he pushed the waistband slightly off his hip, pulling his length from its confines to show her the effect that she had on him.

She felt her insides clench around nothing, hungrily wanting him inside her when she saw him pleasure himself, his fingers wrapped around his cock and pumping in sure, confident movements.

She thought that if she closed her eyes and opened them again, he might take pity on her and just come over to the bed and fuck her, as she so desperately wanted. In all their relationship, she’d never been left wanting for him, ever. She’d always been the one to give to him, to give him pleasure, and in the bargain have some fun for herself, as she so often enjoyed feeling as if she was the only one who could give it to him.

And right now, she thought he must look utterly pathetic, not even having the energy to beg for him to fuck her.

The ends of his hair had begun to dry and she felt her tummy do backflips as he moved from the doorway towards her. Without thinking, she had slowed her movements, expecting him to have finally caved.

The mattress dipped at her ankles where he was knelt, but other than the brush of them against her flesh, he didn’t touch her, and he certainty hadn’t ceased the movements of his hand around his length.

Now, knelt over her like this, his tall form casting somewhat of a shadow over hers, she felt her walls flutter around her own fingers with excitement, desperate to be stretched to accommodate to his length that was so close to her.

“I don’t think I said stop, did I?”

She felt her mouth go all dry, the strands of his hair moving with every tug of his fist on his cock.

Billy looked down at her, watching with a sort of curiosity as she resumed, taking his words to heart. Wanting to please him.

She’d never felt so small in her life.

And, fuck, it was exciting to see this side of him.

He began to pump his cock in earnest, a slight pinkness to his cheeks from the effort, lips parted in hurried breath. He reached over, into the bedside table and threw the mini vibrator he knew was there onto the spot next to her.

She looked up in brief confusion, he wasn’t going to use it on her?

She felt entirely pent up, just wanting him to touch her.

“Billy, please…” she caved and begged, her face warm with slight humiliation at having to ask.

He batted her hand away when she tried to touch his torso, watching with a blank expression at the brief annoyance on her face.

“You can touch me when you cum”.

He had such a serious expression on his face, it was difficult to detect any sign in him that he was actually enjoying this.

She swallowed thickly and gasped when her other hand pressed the vibrator against her clit, pleasuring herself in two separate ways as her fingers continued to shallowly slide inside her with a wet, soft smack of her arousal. Having these two sensations at once was borderline overwhelming.

And part of her was flushed, that Billy was just right there, pleasuring himself while he watched her.

She closed her eyes, but Billy was quick to it.

“Look at me”.

She felt her core tighten impossibly, her movements becoming quicker and more needy as she neared that point of no return. The point where she would lose herself entirely.

And so she pressed the vibrator against her clit harder, using her slick to move it around in micro-movements as she canted her hips up to assist the friction there. Her eyes pulled up to him, and for some reason, looking into his eyes as he stared down at her instead of watching the way he pleasured himself right in front of her, was much much more intimate and erotic.

Billy himself began to breathe heavier, his chest moving erratically up and down, a sheen of sweat over his skin there, his grip on himself tightening.

“You close?” he asked breathily, feeling as if he was about to explode with arousal.

She nodded quickly, and without noticing circled the vibe around her bud, aided by how wet she was, “Yes - yes, Billy -”

She felt her hips shift down into the bed, thighs shaking as her orgasm rolled over her in waves. Her fingers dragged through her fluttering walls, the vibrator still buzzing incessantly on her clit as the numbness flooded her limbs, warmth flooding through her to the place where she needed him the most.

She wanted to pull the vibe away, overstimulation beginning to gnaw at her pleasure, but as soon as the thought crossed her mind, she looked up at Billy again when his other hand reached down and held her wrist in place. His eyes boring down into hers, just daring her to say something in response.

But she didn’t.

“-fuck, Billy-” she whined, her stomach clenching and unclenching in brief discomfort as yet another rush threatened to overcome her. Her lips hung open, and she wanted to shut her eyes badly, to cut off at least one feeling so that she could concentrate on the other between her legs.

It was too much.

She thought with a sort of bashfulness that she wanted to cum again purely at the feeling of his fingers on her flesh.

She felt moisture around her eyes, the pleasure so closely nearing on pain, but never quite overstepping that fine line between them. It was almost as if she could feel every erratic beating of her heart through her core, the second orgasm completely draining all the energy out of her.

Billy moaned loudly, partly cut off with a full body shudder as he tugged at his length to completion. The moan lingering on his sweet voice as he painted her pussy with his cum, sighing as he continued to pump himself, as if the sight of her covered in his spend was just too erotic to comprehend.

She flinched, her hips jolting upwards to meet him when he leaned down to rub the head of his cock over her clit and entrance, smearing his cum over her pussy, in a gesture that tugged at that pleasurable spot deep in her gut.

The only sound either of them were able to make were the tired remnants of moans on their hurried breaths.

When her heavy eyelids lifted to him again, she thought he looked like a piece of art. Broad and tall, his flesh tied with wiry muscle, subtle beneath the soft surface of his skin.

And for a moment, as Billy rode out his high that seemed to take everything out of him, they simply looked at each other as if something in the dynamic of their relationship had irrevocably changed.

There was something else in his baby blue eyes she’d never seen before. A shift.

Something inside him had been awakened, like he had enjoyed exerting a power and assertiveness over her that he’d never tried before.

He reached over, his palm pressing into the space on the mattress next to her head as he leaned over her. Her lips parted in surprise and pleasure when he dipped down and slid his length past her slick folds and slowly sank inside her, stretching her already abused and tender walls out around him, moulding her insides to the shape of him.

Billy sighed, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of her pussy gripping him hungrily, already clenching around his overly-sensitive cock. But as soon as his eyes opened again, his face now close to hers as he pushed inside her to the hilt, the hair at the base of him brushing against her clit, she raised her legs to hook around his hips.

And felt as if she’d seen someone else she’d never met before.

Her eyes rolled shut as his palm laid flat on her tummy, drifting up and taking the shirt with it, palming needily at her breasts as he began a mercifully soft and careful pace.

One she had no doubt would become more eager.

Part of her worried she wouldn’t leave this bed for a long while. The other wanted to smile, happy that Billy had felt comfortable and confident enough, finally, to demonstrate what he really, really wanted.

It seemed trivial perhaps to some, that a confidence, even sexually, could give so much power to a person and enhance the personality that was already there. To help them feel as loved as they deserved to feel.

She’d suspected for so long that he’d been hiding something. Something he was too nervous to ask for. Fearing perhaps that she would judge him.

But as he pressed his chest to hers, his hands snaking around her waist and her buttocks to push her body up to meet his desperate thrusts, she only felt relieved and undeniably happy, that she had been able to give him this freedom.

And she thought with a hint of selfishness…

…that she could get used to this.

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[creedslove]

MEANT TO BE ❤️‍🔥

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You and Joel seemed you were meant to be, but he broke your heart thinking he was doing you a favor. You're back in town and Tommy ends up inviting you to his brother's birthday party

(I don't know if this will be a series or not, but enjoy it ❤️)

Warnings: screwed up timeline (no outbreak but the story takes place nowadays, Joel's in his mid/late forties, Sarah is in her late teens/early twenties), age gap (reader is in her mid/late 20s because well, she's me), angst, hurt, breakups, broken hearts, two idiots in love, fluff

A/N: I don't know besties, this is just a very specific scenario that got stuck with me for DAYS because all I do is daydream I'm Joel's housewife and well, I had to write it down eventually because just imagining it wasn't enough I had to share. Also, this is extremely self-inserted so I'm sorry if you guys don't like it but I deserve to be happy with Joel 😭

3.2k words

"So, you're breaking up with me Joel? Is that it?" You asked him, pacing the living room, trying to hold back your tears and not let the anxiety get the best of you just yet, and instead, look at the situation with a rational attitude. Joel couldn't possibly be breaking up with you, not after the time you spent together, - a short one, you had to admit, but it was enough to see you two were meant to be together. Everyone seemed to agree. His brother was nothing but nice and sweet to you, sometimes even protective of you, as if you were his sibling and not Joel, his daughter was thrilled to see her dad in a relationship after a lifetime of loneliness, even if you didn't see each other very often, only when Sarah was home from her school breaks, always making Joel the proudest dad to see her impeccable grades, a clear reflection of the scholarship she got, she was always so friendly, treating well the woman his dad loved, because she knew he deserved to be happy.

And your family? They really liked Joel too. Your parents admired him for being so hardworking and successful in his business, the way he managed to raise a daughter by himself and your grandmother simply loved Joel. She was a supporter of your relationship from the beginning, always telling you to ignore any mean comments you might get just because he was older than you or anything like that, she just loved to see how good Joel was to you, how happy he made you and what a gentleman he was whenever he visited your family, despite being nervous and blushing slightly like a young boy. And for that, your grandma always baked him cookies or cakes, just a small, sweet way to thank him for being so good to you.

So it came as a shock, when he broke up with you.

"Yes, Y/N I'm breaking up with you" he said simply and looked down, his heart clenched and he felt so upset to be letting you go, but he knew he had to, you had been offered a great job, a great opportunity, high salary and you couldn't just stay with him, living a small town housewife life, you had so much potential, you were so pretty and full of life, Joel didn't want to trap you there, you deserved better than that, you deserved to be successful and free, and not with an old guy like him, Joel didn't have the same education you did and he felt bad about it, he would never want to embarrass you because of it.

"You and I are never gonna work, we had our fun, it was nice, but you want to live your life and I've already loved through all that. I've been married and I'm not marrying you, Y/N. You want kids and I don't want any more kids, we're incompatible, can't you see that?" He said "just take your job and go live your life, think of us as an adventure and nothing else…"

You swallowed and took one step forward, grabbing his shirt and making him look at you "w-was I just an adventure to you?" You needed to know the truth, it didn't feel like just an adventure to you at least, it felt like true love, intense and real. You thought Joel was the real deal, you thought that maybe you found each other and you would stay together, of course the opportunity you received was good, but you were ready to give it all up. You'd never thought of your life together as something bad, you liked the simple, you liked the calm quiet evenings with Joel, you liked waiting for him with dinner ready after a long day of work, and all that because you loved Joel and up until then you assumed he loved you too. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, his hand running through his hair as he sighed

"Yes, you were an adventure, you were a hot young girl giving me your attention and your body, I enjoyed it a lot at first, but now it's just getting old" he sighed, hating himself for breaking your heart, but he also knew that was the only way you would leave him behind and start living your life. He was lying, he would marry you, he had actually already bought a ring, a very simple one though, he wished he could buy you something better, but he had gone with the cheapest option and now he felt ashamed of it.

"Just… don't make this too hard on the two of us, leave and take the job, you will be happier that way" Joel turned his back at you and waited until he heard you slamming the door. He sighed and tried blinking back his tears, he hated to seem weak and vulnerable around whoever it was.

•••

Eight months had passed ever since you broke up with Joel, or rather Joel broke up with you. Eight months you'd left Austin behind and moved to a bigger city, got into a better-paid job and made more money. Eight months you were earning well but you were feeling miserable, because you were away from your family, your friends and the man you loved, even if he didn't love you back, even if you were nothing but an adventure to him, you still missed him everyday.

It wasn't just the sex - although that party took a heavy toll on you, as it was so intense, good and hot. You had never been fucked properly until Joel Miller fucked you, that was for sure. But you missed the everyday with him. The domesticity with him, the evenings spent together, the lazy weekends you would stay in his bed, just cuddling, sleeping, fucking and doing it all over again. You missed how his big, rough hands would hold you at night, how you would snuggle closer looking for his warmth, or how you'd play with his hair as Joel rested his head on your lap whenever he watched some cheesy action movie.

Yes, the money was good, you couldn't deny it was good being able to pay for your expenses and also save money and also spoil yourself to clothes, shoes, restaurants and anything else really, that part was great, but you would be lying if you said you wouldn't trade that for a happy life with Joel in a heartbeat; you hated to be still in love with him, he didn't deserve your love, you knew that. He had treated you just like an adventure, like an ordinary affair he could enjoy as he pleased and then discard you once he got tired of it. Still, it puzzled you how genuine he seemed, how caring and lovely he was towards you, how he actually made you believe he loved you. You felt cheated, tricked, and embarrassed to think you were so easy to fool like Joel had done to you.

One of the perks of your job, was able to take a few short trips to your hometown every couple of months, it was good to revisit your family, especially after your grandmother fell ill and you felt the need to see her as much as you could, but with those trips back to town always brought your fear of encountering Joel.

You didn't know how you'd react to seeing him again, maybe you would feel emotional? Or sad? Would your heart still beat fast? Probably a mix of those all.

You shook your head wanting to push those thoughts aside and got ready to enter the clothes store downtown when you heard someone calling your name. You knew that voice, but thought maybe you were just confused, but still, you turned around and saw as a smiley Tommy Miller walked towards you

"Y/N hey… you look great! Nice seeing you?" He was definitely the friendly brother.

"Hey Tommy, I missed you. How've you been?"

"Good.." he placed his hand on his hips - very similar to his brother - and the two of you made some small talk, catching up on things as you hadn't seen each other in nearly a year. "So listen… it's Joel's birthday today, I don't know if you remember" you nodded with a sad smile "and well, I'm throwing him a party tonight, maybe you should show up, I know he was a dick to you, but I'm sure he didn't mean it, he misses you a lot" you bit your lips and shrugged softly, and Tommy didn't need to say anything else. He just hugged you goodbye and told you again how nice it was to see you.

•••

"You did what?" Joel asked with annoyance and shock as his brother stood in his kitchen, a bottle of beer in hand as he placed the plastic bag with a few things for Joel's party that night. Tommy blew the air out of his mouth and scratched the back of his neck "what? You like her, I mean, no, you love her, Joel, so I thought you'd appreciate it if she showed up, it would be like a nice present to you after all" he shrugged simply as it made perfect sense in his mind. Joel, on the other hand, couldn't believe how stupid his brother was. How could he simply invite you as if nothing had gone on between the two of you.

"First you simply plan a party without even asking me, inviting a bunch of people I don't even know-"

"Because you have no friends…" Tommy interrupted and it made Joel's blood boil, he gritted his teeth and took a deep breath

"What I am saying is that I didn't want a party and now I will have to face a party I didn't want and possibly with the presence of a girl whose heart I broke and-"

"You broke her heart because you are a moron" Tommy shrugged again and folded his arms "you are a real big fat moron who can't see shit even if it's hanging in front of you! You love her and she loves you, and don't give me that pathetic talk about you not wanting to trap her because I know you bought her a fucking ring, Joel! A ring! And if you had proposed she'd be here, either planning the things for your wedding or you'd be already married, and don't start with the shitty baby talk either because you practically drool when you see her holding a kid, I'm sure if she asked you'd be on your second Miller kid right now!" Tommy told his brother, running out of patience at how stubborn his older brother was "so yeah, I invited Y/N and I doubt she'll come because you are a dick and you don't deserve her attention, in fact you don't even deserve this party, I was just trying to do something nice for you, so I'm sorry I'm such a terrible brother" Tommy groaned and went upstairs.

Joel didn't want to admit it, but he did spend the whole day checking his phone every five minutes to see if he'd get any messages from you. Joel was a man to receive and give phone calls, he didn't like texting, but most people insisted on doing that so he had to surrender, even his daughter would rather text than call, which Joel hated but he had to do it eventually. On your birthday, Joel spent the whole day battling if he should text you or not, on one hand he didn't want to simply pretend he had forgotten about your special day; on the other hand he didn't want to make things weird between the two of you, well, more like, more weird. What was he supposed to say?

"Hey babe, happy birthday 🎈 I know I said you were just an adventure but I miss you"

No, that'd be too awkward, so eventually he went to bed that day and ended up not texting you.

Another thing Joel didn't also want to admit was how he had showered, applied some cologne and put on the flannel shirt you always told him looked good in him before the party started. Fortunately, his argument with Tommy didn't change any of his plans and in the evening people started to arrive. Joel smiled politely, made some small talk, thanked people for the gifts but he kept glancing at the door frequently, always in hopes to see you walking in. He felt so stupid for even expecting that, so he tried focusing on his party. He saw the girls his brother had invited but didn't care about any of them; they all chatted and giggled and Joel watched it from afar as if he were an outsider at his own birthday party. Joel grabbed a beer and walked outside, sitting by the front steps and watched as the hours passed by and people eventually began leaving the party. He just enjoyed his own presence, knowing you wouldn't come, clearly you'd never come again and he had to face that, at the same time he silently thought of what his life had been like and what was left for him to do in the future, when a voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Joel?" You called him, hesitantly at first, as you swallowed and looked around, it was kind of crazy to show up at your ex's birthday party after he dumped you in a cruel way like he did, but you also felt like you had to do it, ever since Tommy had invited you, something in your heart begged and screamed for you to go see Joel even if it was the last time.

When he saw you, his eyes widened, he didn't trust them at first thinking it was just a trick of his longing imagination, but as you walked towards him, he could see you were real. And you looked gorgeous, making that fool old man's heart beat fast.

"Darlin'..." He said but you placed your index finger gently against his lips, the way his beard tickled you brought a warmth within and you felt like you could melt at that moment.

"I'm here just to wish you a happy birthday" you said with a sad smile and handed him a bag. Joel frowned softly, clueless to what it was but a soft smile appeared on his face as he saw it was his watch. He had forgotten about it as it had been so long since the last time he saw it.

"Remember your watch stopped working after we jumped in the pool on the last fourth of July we spent together? I had it fixed but then we bro-" you interrupted yourself "anyway, I know it's been a while but it's yours"

"Thank you darlin' I don't even know what to say… it's already a gift you're here tonight" Joel could swear he was blushing and that embarrassed him, he was a grown man and shouldn't be acting like that, but still, there he was.

"Did you get the cake?" You questioned him curiously and only then Joel noticed you had a second bag in hands

"I forgot" he rubbed the back of his neck and you laughed softly, that was just so Joel it felt kind of stupid.

"So this is yours too…" you offered him the second to which he grabbed it even more puzzled. Two presents? Joel Miller was a simple man, and quite shy, he didn't know how to act properly when he was given gifts, let alone two in a row and especially when it came from you.

It was his turn to laugh when he found a box with cupcakes inside. He raised his eyes from them and smiled at you, taking you by the hand with no warning and sitting you next to him, on the front step.

He helped himself to one and insisted for you to take another, and even if you should have just wished him a happy birthday and driven back home, you obliged and took a small bite of yours, and that cupcake was indeed really good.

After the cupcakes were long gone, you and Joel still caught up on everything: he told you about his job and you told him about yours; you asked him about Sarah and he asked you about your grandmother's health, just random, ordinary things like it should be between two people who once knew everything about each other and now spent long enough apart to step on eggshells around each other. Though the party had pretty much ended, Tommy's playlist was still at full steam inside the house and when Joel recognized that guitar strumming he smiled, the lyrics coming back to him as it took him back to one of his favorite moments with you.

"Listen, it's our song"

"What?" You frowned softly "our song? What do you mean?" You questioned curiously not exactly knowing where he wanted to get.

"Californication, it's our song" he blushed softly and felt upset to see that maybe you didn't remember the summer night you spent listening to music sitting in the back of his truck, and how you two sang it together. Maybe that wasn't as special to you as it was to him, but at that night he'd felt so young, so full of life and hope. You finally nodded and closed your eyes, listening to it and thinking of the same sweet memory you and Joel shared.

"I just didn't know it was our song, Joel" you said amused and he shrugged, getting to his favorite part of the song and taking your hand in his, your eyes locked as his lips moved

"Marry me girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation"

He sang along, even if it wasn't a romantic song, that part was for you, it had always been for you. When he saw you sing that specific part of the song for the first time he knew he wanted to marry you, he wanted you to be his fairy to his world and be his very own constellation. It was cheesy, but he didn't care, he was just in love at the time, and he continued so.

You blushed and looked down, knowing it was time to go, but before you could get up, he squeezed your hand gently

"Do you want to get inside?" His eyes were full of hope, maybe and just maybe you could say yes and you could maybe pick up from where you left off but you shook your head "I'm sorry, I have to go Joel" you got up and ignored his sad eyes, even if they were your weakness, you two were finished and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Joel?" You called one last time and he got up, walking to you, still hopeful you'd give him any crumble of affection.

"Yeah?" His voice was a soft purr, the anticipation burning bright inside of him

"Happy birthday" you said and went to your car, leaving him standing there, his mind full of might-have-beens and his heart breaking as it did every time you walked away from him.

_____

A/N: don't yell at me besties, i've had this idea of joel being sure he would want to marry reader (me/us) while listening to this part of the song and Californication is a very delicate subject as I sang this song in a karaoke session at the mall yesterday in front of hundreds of people and I was so nervous at first but then I relaxed and had such a great time and it was amazing 😭 I know it's not a romantic song but I want those lyrics to be about joel and his beautiful wife 😭 I hope you've liked it besties ❤️

[darnell-la]

Need your help - Billy Hargrove

pairing: manipulative!boyfriend!billy hargrove x inexperienced!reader

warning: slightly toxic relationship, manipulative, sneaking around, moaning, chocking, hair pulling, hard orgasm, etc.

note: an anonymous sender sent a request, and we posted it privately to got back and edit on the story later, but it disappeared. this has happened 3 times to us, and it’s getting out of hand. we’ll figure something out soon, but for right now, this is for our anonymous sender! love you <3

————————————————————————

3rd person pov

It’s currently 2 in the morning and y/n is sound asleep, as well as her parents. Y/n never sleeps past 10 pm. She has too much work and study to do for the next day, and if she wants to hang out with her boyfriend, Billy Hargrove, she knows she has to get it all done.

Billy on the other hand is wide awake, sneaking through her house after he opens the front door with the hidden key y/n told him about.

He always sleeps late, and it aches him that y/n is never away to be on the phone with him or at his house to pull an all-nighter.

Billy just got through drinking a couple of beers and smoking a few cigarettes before heading over to y/n’s house to see if she was awake. He knows she isn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt trying.

Billy slowly walked down the hallway upstairs, passing his girlfriend’s parent's room. He knew he wouldn’t get caught. That’s the whole reason why he’s here and desperate.

Y/n in the meantime is having a dream of her and her perfect boyfriend, Billy, riding down the street in his Camaro. Her dreams are always so sweet, knowing Billy isn’t fully like that, but at least he is sometimes.

Y/n was so deep in her sleep that she didn’t hear Billy over her, whispering her name after he snuck into her room and locked the door.

“Baby?” Billy shook Y/n’s body, finally waking her up. “Hmm?” She tiredly asked as she slowly turned around, expecting one of her parents, but instead, it was her boyfriend.

“Billy!?” She yelled and whispered as she became fully awake. “Happy to see me, sweetheart?” He asked before giving her a short but long kiss. “Billy, you can’t be heard,” y/n pushed at his shoulders before getting up from her bed.

“I know, but I miss you,” Billy said with a pouty face as he pulled his girlfriend into him, wanting to feel her body in his. He’s so hard and horny, cue she doesn’t know that yet.

“Baby, you can’t just break into my house. My parents are sleeping!” Y/n said, trying to keep calm and quiet so her parents won’t hear her awake at this hour. They’ll know something wrong then.

“Oh, but I can, because you’re my baby, right?” Billy asked as she slowly snaked his hands around y/n back, trying to pull her closer. “Yeah, but- Billy,” y/n said, not really knowing how to respond.

“You’d help me if I needed you, right baby?” Billy whispered. “What? Yes, of course I would,” Y/n said as she pulled back, considered. She prayed to god that his father hadn’t beaten him again.

“Good, because I’m hurting. Very bad,” he fake pouted as he kept his hands on her. “Oh god, Billy, where?” Y/n panicked as she pushed his hands off of him to check him.

“Ssh ssh, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay now because I’m with you,” Billy grabbed y/n face softly. “I need you to make me feel better. You think you can do that for me?” Billy asked her, inches away from her face.

“H-How?” Y/n asked, getting a different feeling about this all. “I need to feel you. I need to finally hear you moan,” Billy softly said as he slowly began to kiss Y/n’s neck.

“W-What? Billy, I-I’m not ready yet though,” y/n said, trying to softly push Billy back, but he didn’t lean back like usual. “C’mon, baby. You’ve been making my way for so long. I’m hurting,” Billy kept saying anything he needed to say to get into his own girlfriend’s pants.

“No, Billy, wait!” Y/n yelled whispered as she strongly pushed at him until he finally stepped back. “So you lied,” Billy said as she stared at y/n with an annoyed look.

“What?” She asked. “You said you’d help me, and you’re not,” Billy said. “Billy, I-I want to help you, but it’s just, I’m not ready,” y/n said, feeling a bit sad that her boyfriend thinks she wouldn’t help him.

“But, baby, I need it. To feel better. You always help me, and right now, I need this,” Billy said as he slowly pulled her in again, trying his act again until she gives into it.

“Billy,” y/n dragged low, not wanting to do anything, but she was too afraid to say no. She loved Billy, and she does think it’s sad that she wouldn’t give it up to her own boyfriend.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Billy whispered in y/n’s ear as he slowly picked her up off of her feet. “I need you,” Billy began kissing on y/n’s neck again as she made his way to his knees, quiet enough for her partners to stay asleep.

Y/n stayed silent, still off about this whole situation but she didn’t want to speak and say something Billy didn’t want to hear. She was afraid he’d be disappointed.

“Mhm,” Billy groaned in the crook of his girlfriend’s neck as he began to grind on her. Y/n let out low whines, still not fully sure about this, but she still kept her mouth shut.

“Gonna feel so much better,” Billy said as he reached down to his crotch, unzipping and unbuckling his pants before pulling his hard cock out. Y/n wasn’t notified of this as she was too shocked by the hickeys he’d never left before.

“You sound so beautiful,” Billy whispered in his girl's ear as he slowly pulled her night shorts off, making sure she didn’t know he was already ready. He couldn’t go slow. He can’t go at her paste.

“You never let me touch this pretty little cunt. I should punish you for that,” Billy said, snapping y/n out of her thoughts. “H-Huh?” She stuttered, her heart pumping at the word punishment.

“Yeah, you heard me. You’ve been a bad girl to me,” Billy said as tears slowly filled y/n’s eyes. “I-I’m sorry,” she said as Billy shook his head as his hand slowly grabbed his thick cock.

“You will be, baby,” Billy said as he forced his cock into his girl's entrance until he was fully in her. “B-Billy!” Y/n almost maimed too loudly before Billy slapped his hands right onto her mouth.

“Keep it down, baby. Don’t want mommy and daddy hearing what a slut their daughter can be,” Billy began thrusting his hips, feeling how fast his girlfriend got wet.

“P-Please,” y/n begged, not knowing for what, but she knew she couldn’t take what her boyfriend was giving her. She’s never done anything like this before. Everything, even the neck kisses was going too far.

“Don’t disappoint me, baby? You wanna help me, right?” Billy asked as she huffed, keeping himself down. She’s the tightest he’s ever been with, and it’s taking him a lot not to go overboard and maybe the whole neighborhood knows what he was up to.

“Y-Yes,” Y/n cried low as she threw her head back after Billy took that hand that was on her mouth and connected it to her neck softly. “Yeah, I know. That’s why you’re so easy, baby. But I like it like that. I like knowing you’ll let me fuck you into this floor whenever I need it,” Billy began to tighten his grip on her neck.

“B-Billy,” y/n moaned, trying to tell him that the neck grip was too far, but she couldn’t get it out as she felt a knot in her stomach form. “I know, baby. It’s so fuckin’ good, right? Should have let me stretch this pussy out a while ago,” Billy said.

Billy used his friend's hand to push down onto y/n stomach, fucking her into her room floor more and keeping her in place. The thrusts he was giving her were feeling up the room, just enough to still keep her parents asleep.

“Such a whore. Can’t even keep your legs closed with a few kisses to your neck,” Billy said, making y/n whine for no reason. She couldn’t even tell herself why that made her eyes roll back.

“Yeah, so fuckin’ slutty. Maybe I should fuck you in the halls until your parents see the view,” Billy growled, slamming his hips into her, literally knocking the wind out of her.

“B-Billy,” y/n whined a bit too loud as she came around Billy’s cock. “Ah, yeah,” Billy chuckled, tightening his grip and using the other hand to grip her hair and tug it to the side.

“Fuckin’ cock whore slut. Can’t even last a few minutes with a cock in your pussy,” Billy spat, seeing the life leave y/n slowly. “Wanna be a cock filled bitch for me, hm? For your sweet ole boyfriend?” Billy asked, getting a little answer out of y/n, but she was sleeping away slowly.

“Yeah, I know you will. You’ll do anything for me. I always do shit for you, so let’s see what a pretty slut you’ll be for me now,” Billy said before he focused on his own orgasm.

“Fuck, baby,” Billy growled, trying to keep his whines in, but a few slipped out as his eyes rolled back. He finally began filling y/n up, knowing she wasn’t on the pill, but he knew not to worry.

He’ll be giving his sweet girlfriend a plan b tomorrow with a few gifts and food in the morning to keep her calm and happy.

Billy quickly let y/n’s neck go, allowing her to breathe fully again. She tried talking, but every time she went to open her mouth, the words wouldn’t come out.

Her legs were shaking and her clit was throbbing like crazy. Billy knew his girl was drained so he picked her up and laid her on her bed.

Billy hasn’t had sex in a while, but he knows he’s never felt the urge to help a woman out after he was done. Usually, he’d wanna leave and go home to take a nap, but right now, he needed to clean up.

Billy left Y/n’s room to go to her bathroom and grab some wipes. He then came back and cleaned her up. He even changed her panties so she’d feel fresh and clean.

“Gonna grab that pill for you tomorrow and some food. Tell your parents I’ll be picking you up a noon. Wanna spoil my baby tomorrow,” Billy kissed the side of y/n’s forehead as she whined, making sure he knew she was fine listening.

After that night, Billy did as told and spoiled his girl like there was no tomorrow. He knew he had her wrapped around his fingers, but he also knew she had him wrapped around hers.

He’d never stop being a toxic piece of shit because he knew, no matter what, y/n loves him and he truly treats her right.

Besides, the act he puts on makes the relationship alive, and at times, y/n knows exactly what Billy’s up to, but she ignores it and goes along. As long as they’re both happy.

[bts-aera]

Relationship w/ Members

Kim Namjoon

Jokingly calls him Appa

Gave her, her first lyric notebook (she still has it)

Went to Bang PD about at least keeping her on as a lyric writer if she wasn't going to be included in the group

Taught her the basics of the producing software

Taught her how to rap during pre-debut

For deep talks, he's the one she seeks out

They intellectually vibe on a completely different level from the other members

They recommend books to each other constantly (non-fiction traded for fiction)

Demanded he read the Harry Potter Series

Kim Seokjin

His biggest dad joke supporter

He spoils her with his cooking

Taught her how to cook her favorite meals during pre-debut

She is his biggest cheerleader when it comes to his singing

Always gave him pep talks when he was struggling the most

Calls her his baby

Foodies of the group

Gets really mad when she catches people questioning his skills in singing or dancing

Gets extra choreo lessons from her whenever he's struggling with a particular choreo

Min Yoongi

Considers her his Protégé since he teaches her how to produce

Has a lot of songs set aside for her in particular due to her voice being the only one he sees performing it

Was the first to aggressively shut down any hate she received early on in their career, he does it less now because he taught her to speak up for herself (it gets her in trouble sometimes but he always looks proud)

She has helped keep the 'Marry Me Yoongi" trend alive

She loves that he's a grumpy old man

He can't bring himself to truly scold her most of the time

He will let her hang all over him and never say a word about it

Truly helps the narrative 'Maknae on Top' when it comes to her

Jung Hoseok

Is her biggest cheerleader

Gave him the nickname 'Hobi'

She tends to crash his lives often to cause chaos

They dance together a lot just the two of them

He took care of her often when she first came to Seoul

He was the biggest driving force in adding her back into the group

Was very happy when it happened

She calls him 'Sunshine' a lot

Calls her 'little duck/duckie' more than the other members

His sister jokes about trading him for her in a heartbeat

Park Jimin

She is forever his baby

He's a momma bear when it comes to her

Cuddle buddies

They tend to pull each other out of their negative head space when they see the other in it

He taught her some of his Contemporary Dance routines in the beginning

When she has something heavy on her heart she usually seeks him out

He's the only one who ever truly knew how bad her struggles were, especially in the beginning

Pre-debut he would help her do her nails since she gets hand tremors when it's cold

His parents have also attempted to adopt her, his mom absolutely loves her to pieces

Kim Taehyung

Gave her the nickname 'little duck'

Bodyguard #2

Loves her to pieces and thinks she's the most adorable thing to walk this earth

They bring out each other's weird side

He gifts her Gucci a lot

He dotes on her heavily

If she's feeling down he will literally do anything to make her laugh/smile

When he does take photos of people it's usually of her

He will occasionally be overdramatic about how much she's grown since he met her

They like to go out to eat together

He's deemed her the baby sister of the Wooga Squad since they all think she's absolutely adorable

Will do a vibe check for any man standing close to her

Jeon Jungkook

Is her ride or die, he knows her better than she knows herself

Bodyguard #1

He is very protective of her

Anyone that's interested in her must pass his test in order for her to even think about dating them

They share 'custody' of Bam

Is her go-to drinking buddy

His parents basically adopted her, she calls them Eomma and Appa

Prank each other incessantly

Is the first person she seeks out when she's struggling with something

He talked her into learning boxing/kickboxing with him because he wants her to be able to protect herself if needed

Workout buddies

Promised to be roommates until one of them get married

Moved into the same apartment rather than living alone after the lease was up on their last dorm.

He vibe-checks any dude that wants to get close to her

He will get pouty and mildly jealous if she starts hanging out with someone else more than she hangs out with him (he can't help it)

She helped with designing some of his tattoos

He drew her first tattoo and they got their first tattoos together

Still tries to get her to see his side for the Perilla Leaf debate

[heartsforandrewgarfield]

Happier Than Ever | Rafe Cameron Headcannon ✧

Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish is what i imagine a toxic relationship between pogue!girlfriend and rafe cameron. hear me out..

Note: This is my first time writing anything on Tumblr lol! Let me know how to improve, I really enjoy writing :333, also i was thinking of writing a blurb on this too so send me a message!

When I'm away from you, I'm happier than ever

Wish I could explain it better

I wish it wasn't true

I can imagine his girlfriend being care free with her friends but once she’s with rafe, she feels trapped and claustrophobic.

she doesn’t realize she’s in a toxic relationship though, she thinks that his aggressiveness and controlling nature is just the way he shows affection.

of course she still loves him unconditionally but she often wishes he’d be kinder.

i knew when i asked you to,

be cool about what i was telling you,

you’d do the opposite of what you’d said you’d do,

and id end up more afraid.

whenever she would hang out w the pogues, rafe would blow the situation out of proportion and start arguments. she argues back, telling him to calm down, but it only makes him angrier.

no matter if she’d let him know in advance, he’d always be pissed.

of course her friend would question why she would stay w him. sometimes she would avoid the pogues just so rafe wouldn’t get upset.

Don't say it isn't fair

You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable

honorable mention.

You call me again, drunk in your Benz

Driving home under the influence

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

Rafe would totally call his girlfriend while high/drunk driving to make her feel worried for him just to have a laugh with his kook friends.

he’d do it just to show topper and kelce how he has her at his fingertips.

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

the internet reference would totally be the pogues. his girlfriend would defend his name whenever they would bring up how shitty he is.

time and time again, she would be proven wrong by his irrational behaviors.

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood.

rafe would be the type blame his aggressiveness on his daddy issues and constantly justify himself for being a dickhead.

he would rant to his girlfriend about his problems to make her feel guilty and make feel like she needed to stay.

the pogues definitely, eventually get tired of his bullshit.

currently cooking up fic ideas for this..

(can y’all tell i love this song?)

all credits to their owners!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for accepting money/gifts from my mom?

(🦭🐟 to help find later)

Ok bear with me here because this is a serious question w/ some context even though the question doesn't seem bad.

My (19NB) mom (54F) is not a very good parent. Things were not great when I was a kid, to say the least. It's complicated to get into so I'm gonna glaze over most of it and say I plan to go low/no contact when I'm older and can afford to support myself on my own. For now I'm amicable since I need help while getting through college. This has been my plan for a WHILE but I've started to feel a little guilty?

My biggest issue with my mom is the way that she treats/treated my siblings. Sometimes she gets on my nerves but I know I have the privilege of being the youngest (and the favorite) therefore my parents don't pull the same kind of bullshit with me. For example one of my siblings had family therapy with her, and she would frequently not show up and leave them to do the exercises with the other families in the group session that they didn't know. She also complained about their suicide attempt. She talks down to my oldest sister because she couldn't pursue the medical career my parents wanted because she couldn't deal with the cadavers, and since she spent her whole education trying to reach their standards she's been lost trying to figure out what she wants for herself, and my parents keep harping on her for not having a career plan and being "useless". This is only the tip of the iceberg, and it's plenty enough for me to feel justified in my decision to eventually go no contact. I am not asking if AITA for cutting her off, that is not where the guilt is.

It's always been the case that instead of directly saying she was wrong my mom would spend a lot of money on us and buy gifts (usually stuff she likes and not what we like, but I figured out I could leverage her guilt to buy specific things bc free stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ even if I don't forgive her). I think this is because she didn't have much money growing up so now she's a shopaholic now that she has the money to do so (both my parents are in the medical field so they are far from poor. abt upper middle class). She also keeps defending our uncle despite us bringing up how he's creepy and pervy and makes us uncomfortable, and she has some... interesting political takes (like defending the price of insulin being so high???)

My mom I think has been trying to be better but she still never apologizes for any of her actions and is guilt trippy by saying stuff abt how we all think shes a bad mom that caused all her kids to be depressed and suicidal. So its not enough of an improvement for me to forgive her, but I do notice that she walks away from situations sometimes rather than blow her fuse, and she's more tolerant of my ADHD and queerness than she used to be. And she's been trying to be more supportive of me and my decision to pursue an art career. I do believe that people can get better and change themselves, I just think in the case of my mom it's too little too late (and she hasn't improved her relationship with my siblings as much). I've also been polite and friendly since I'm still living with her.

So like, this combined with me accepting her gifts makes me think I'm leading her on? Like she thinks that she's salvaging a relationship with one of her kids and that I'll stay. And I feel a little bad about that. Like if it was JUST the gifts I would feel no guilt bc if she thinks she can bribe her way into our good graces without changing her behavior than shes gonna be down money and still have no kids. But shes trying to improve, albeit slowly and not when we needed her, but better nonetheless. So it feels less "this is the least she could do given the trauma" and more "i feel like i'm taking advantage of her".

One of my siblings refuses to accept her money on principle (they've already moved out) and it makes me think I should probably do the same, but also i dont know if I can since I don't have a job yet and I'm still in school, so maybe just refuse the gifts thing? But neither of my siblings seem to have an issue with my relationship with her, so maybe I shouldn't feel bad? She's treating me better so I feel I have less justification for using her wealth for my own benefit, even if I still don't forgive her for how she treated my siblings.

Basically, AITA for still accepting guilt money/gifts from my shitty mom despite planning on cutting her off later on?

What are these acronyms?

[iloveslllycatss]

noya relationship hcs

𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙝𝙘𝙨

𝘯𝘰𝘺𝘢 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴/𝘢𝘯: 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 🙄, 𝘯𝘰𝘺𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥

✯ at the beginning of the relationship, it was great tbh

✯ you two were already good friends beforehand so you two were great together

✯ it was a secret relationship because your little brother was no other then kei tsukishima. and u didn’t want him to find out.

✯ noya was good with this (obviously)

✯ but the team knew something was up as soon as noya stopped gushing over kiyoko.

✯ so they wanted answers. 

✯ suga was the first one to ask about it, he went up to noya and the first thing he said was “explain.” 

✯ noya was trying his absolute BEST to lie and say he just moved on but we all know how bad of a liar noya is 😐 

✯ so he ended up accidentally letting it slip out that you two were dating 

✯ when he told u that he slipped up, he felt so guilty fr but u said it was okay and it doesn’t have to be a secret anymore

✯ guess what he does the next day.

✯ during lunch, this mf STANDS ON THE MF TABLE AND STARTS TALKING 

✯ “MAY I HAVE EVERYONES ATTENTION. IF YOU HEAR MY VOICE CLAP ONCE, IF U HEAR MY VOICE CLAP TWICE.”

✯ and then the cafeteria got silent, all eyes on him

✯ “thank you. i would just like to say that Y/N IS MY GIRLFRIEND. I TOLD U GUYS THAT I PULL. CANT BELIEVE I BAGGED THE PRETTIEST GIRL.”

✯ you were embarrassed, flustered and flattered all at the same time.

✯ 2 days have passed since you guys weren’t w secret anymore and suddenly the WHOLE SCHOOL AND THEIR MOTHERS knew ab u two 😞

✯ hes always touching u in some way. if ur walking, he’s holding your hand or has a arm around ur shoulder, if you guys are sitting down, his hand is right on your thigh

✯ there were these two girls who were hating on ur relationship one time, and all he said was “sthu u just mad u can’t pull a beauty like y/n 🙄” 

✯ sticks up for you if your ever being picked on or something 

✯ when kiyoko found out she was beaming (not actually), she was happy for you two but on the other hand she was just happy noya left her alone finally 😭 

✯ when he’s playing volleyball, he dedicates receives to you

✯ “i’m gonna get this one for y/n” 

✯ gets u flowers every 2 weeks 😨💐

✯ when tsukishima tries to tease you two he always says the same thing

✯ it’s always something along the lines of “you wouldn’t understand, your single 🙄” or “that’s why y/ns better than you”

✯ always protective of you

✯ he LOVES LOVES LOVES when you wear his clothes

✯ his family loves you and treats you like a daughter

✯ he always makes sure you feel loved, doesn’t go one day without showering you with praises and saying he loves you

✯ sometimes he gets insecure he’s not good enough and that you deserve better, just reassure him and praise him w cuddles and you’ll b good

✯ hes a walking green flag tbh

✯ 10/10 boyfriend

this is actually a request from @junkrcat and they also helped me w the ideas for what to add and stuff

@/ilovesillycats

plz don’t copy my work 😞

[raainberry]

Blue Hour

“The blue hour is the idea that everything is about to end or, on the contrary, that everything is about to start again.”

Jihyo x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - it was only supposed to be a fling

wordcount - 1.9K

T/W - Blood (mentioned (1) once)

A/N - missing the killing me good era😔 i actually don’t know how to feel about this one but i miss my girl so

Twenty to thirty minutes.

That’s how long it takes for the sun to fully rise. To show itself in the morning.

It takes the same amount of time to fully disappear. To hide itself in the evening.

In each case, the moon isn’t too far away. You remember seeing it every time before she showed up.

And every time after she left.

Nature’s schedule is strict. So was her’s, leading the two of you to only meet at night: in between two blue hours.

“It’s a little cloudy today.”

The sound of her voice broke your staring contest with the moon, finding the glow in her eyes to be more interesting. The latter shone brighter than yesterday, you noticed as she leaned against the railing beside you.

Your own smile pulled a little more at your lips as well, excited to see hers again. You’d only part for half a day’s worth every time, yet it always felt like it stretched as each day passed.

“I didn’t get to see much of the sunset on my way home.” She pouted. “Did you?”

She hoped the rooftop of her apartment building had offered a better end to your day than it did hers. After all, the sunrise and sunsets she’d witnessed from here so far were nicer.

You shook your head in response, though, making her frown. “Just a glimpse.”

“Maybe it’ll be better tomorrow.” She said, still hopeful.

Her optimism made you smile. The sun could stop shining for all you cared, she would do its job better anyway. She was one little sunshine, a true ray of light you wouldn’t have dared to approach if she hadn’t done so first.

“I doubt it. Fall is coming soon.” You reminded, but she shrugged, looking at the darkening horizon with the same spark in her eyes.

“The sun still sets during Fall, don’t be so depressing.”

“But it’s not as pretty.” You pointed out, pulling her eyes to you.

Maybe that’s what you were looking for, she realised, giggling at the sight of a familiar smirk on your lips.

“And what if I’m there?” She asked, grinning and posing with a hand under her chin for you.

She fluttered her eyelids, giving further into her own banter; her grin warm, playful and inviting as she urged you to join her point of view.

You couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, giving in to the harmless corruption with a soft kiss on her happy lips. She managed to steal a few more from your own, smiling into each one despite having to chase them.

When you managed to pull away, she pointed fun at your flushed cheeks, something you expected by now. You sported the shade proudly, her teasing never bothered you, but sometimes you did wonder how she managed to turn you into such a mess.

Maybe it was because things were still recent between the two of you. Or maybe you were just too far gone and—in all honesty—too down bad for her.

Either way made sense, so you never bothered to look further.

“Why do you still blush like that, we’ve been doing this for weeks, you should be used to it.” She teased, but her words landed in a different tone on your ears.

They made you think.

For weeks, you repeated…

“I am, that’s the problem.” You slipped out just under your breath. It was too late to retain the words, so you tried to keep them out of her ears.

It’d been weighing on your mind for a bit, how uncertain your relationship with Jihyo has been.

Whatever was going on between the two of you, it wasn’t exactly conventional anymore.

It was, only until about three weeks ago, when it was all supposed to end. You should not have seen her face past August 31st. That’s how flings worked. How summer flings worked at least. Or how you thought they worked?

You weren’t really sure of anything regarding love and affection. Relationships had taken a whole new meaning the second she laid her lips on yours that one night at the bar.

The feelings, the thoughts, the moments… It was all new.

She was new.

Maybe infatuation was the right word at the time. Now it just felt weak. Unqualified. Wrong.

You couldn’t tie the bond you’d developed down to such an ephemeral idea.

Not when your feelings for her settled in your heart with intentions so far out of field.

“The problem?” She repeated after a while.

Way to ruin the mood, you mentally congratulated yourself.

“What exactly is the problem, Y/N?” She asked, holding onto your sleeve with a couple fingers.

A timid and discreet gesture that didn’t go unnoticed. Your eyes fell down to her hand, and you couldn’t help but feel some of that hope she’d showcased minutes before.

Meeting her eyes again, you noticed the spark was gone, replaced by a clouded gaze similar to the blue sky above. It seemed heavy. Not as dark, only busy.

Was she worried?

“I just… Don’t know where this is going. That’s all.” You tried to shrug it off, pulling your hand away to get the sleeve out of her grip.

The busy streets below kept an awkward silence away from the two of you, allowing you to feign interest about their noise and random happenings.

The distraction could have been sweet if only it weren’t from your own mind.

It was hard not to think it all over. It was hard to focus on the rational part of it. The one telling you to leave tonight before getting hurt more than you already were.

It was hard because of how loud the other part was.

The one happy with just a glance from the woman beside you. Happy with just standing next to her. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Satisfied with her kiss, her touch… As long as you learned more about her.

More than you should.

You sighed into the night, feeling your rationality push through.

“Would it make you feel better if I said I don’t know either?” She broke the silence.

Your eyes found her again, catching her smiling down at her own hands. That smile seemed heavy as well, as if she was forcing it out to avoid any other reaction.

“Not at all.” You said truthfully, causing a chuckle to escape her lips.

You didn’t understand why, especially when her eyes started watering instead of just… crinkling in joy.

Her teeth suddenly pulled on her bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as she tried to find words. The right ones. Ones that would make you stay even longer.

Her lips alone weren’t enough for that anymore.

“But… Don’t you want to figure that out together?”

A breath caught in your throat. Then another, after a second. It felt as though you didn’t know how to breathe anymore. Like her question shook much more than your heart.

You looked at Jihyo once more, hoping it would fix it like it did everything else, but her focus remained on her own fingers.

“I know I want to.” She said, picking at her nails, a giveaway of her nerves. “I just thought it was obvious.”

Her eyes finally raised to meet yours, sadness written all over the smile she tried to send you.

“Do you actually?”

Your voice came out a whisper, and it didn’t surprise you. You weren’t sure you wanted to know her answer to that question. You gave her a chance not to hear it. To get away and break the rules with no consequences for a little longer.

Truth was you’d let her.

“I think I like you.”

There it went again; your breathing.

“You think?” You chuckled, but only to fight the tears suddenly pooling in your eyes. “Jihyo, I can’t do this anymore.”

You stared out ahead, your gaze landing on nothing and everything all at the same time. So many lights, buildings, so many trees and people… Yet nothing registered.

All you could process, all you could feel… It emaned from right next to you.

The skies above reminded you of it. The familiar blue drowned its details as time deepened its shade. You watched it happen so many times with her you could blindly tell the time.

08:10pm.

That’s when she decided to take your hand in hers, pulling you away from the overwhelming sights.

That’s when you felt the warmth of her hands against your cheeks as she made you look into her eyes instead.

You focused on the lights reflecting in them instead, trying to avoid her thoughts. They could hurt.

“Tell me something, Y/N…” She trailed off, her eyes desperate for even a sign of your focus on her. “Do you regret any of what happened between us?”

“Yes.”

You watched silently as the effects of your answer painted her features.

They tensed up. Eyebrows lowered, lips narrowed, yet eyes watered, holding a sense of hopelessness you witnessed for the first time… It was messy. As if even she didn’t know how to feel.

You, however, could tell.

She wasn’t angry. She was exasperated. Frustrated.

“Can you feel it too now? Do you see why I regret it?”

You should have known she wouldn’t answer the way you wanted her to.

You knew she was stubborn.

You should have expected her lips on yours.

Just like you knew you’d melt into them with a single kiss despite yourself.

Your will never mattered when it came to her. You always ended up folding to hers, giving into a second kiss before intiating the third one.

And you rarely pulled away first.

“Why?” You practically begged through breaths she’d stolen from you.

The gentle brush of her thumb against your skin, the warmth and care she seemed to hold in her eyes for you, the silent words you could make out in them… It almost made you break down right then and there.

It all suddenly became so obvious.

“Because I like you.” She smiled.

It was bright again. It made you believe her a little more, although you still weren’t convinced.

Maybe she sensed that, as she wasted no time to argue her point.

“That’s why I’ve been making excuses to keep seeing you.”

“My flight back was delayed, can I stay at your place?”

“The company’s letting me choose the flight date and I don’t actually have to go back to work for another week…”

“Can we stay friends? I’d love to just hang out with you. Maybe come see me in Seoul some time?”

“It just happened, let’s just put this on reunion excitment.”

“Yes, friends don’t kiss each other. But friends with benefits do. So no, it’s not weird.”

Maybe they were not all excuses. Some you definitely had a hand in. Yet you remained clueless for some reason.

Love really makes you dumb.

“I thought you were playing me.” You mumbled.

“Then you don’t know me at all.” She said, amused.

“That would be because I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Yet you learned to, didn’t you?”

You nodded, looking down in embarrassment. You couldn’t help but feel ashamed of the drama you’d caused.

You scolded her for not being honest, but you were just as guilty.

“I’m sorry.�� You mumbled again. “This is all new to me, I guess I freaked out a little.”

Your confession caused a few giggles to escape her lips, to your delight. The sound made you smile as you admired the happiness radiating from her features again.

The intensity of your emotions made it feel as though it had been months since you last had the chance to.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. My intentions could have been a little clearer.” She admitted. “I want to date you.”

You chuckled at her small clarification, finding the moon in the dark blue sky again.

It shined a little more. The blue was turning into its darkest shade yet, as the day finally left room for the night.

The blue hour was over, and it made you smile.

You had all night to spend with Jihyo. The woman holding your smiley cheeks so softly in between her hands.

For the first time since you met her, you couldn’t wait until the next one.

Because this time you won’t have to forget about her once the sun comes out of hiding.

[desceros]

Re: ableism w/Symphony Donnie: Definitely some internalized ableism but I think that’s unfortunately due to not many people knowing what exactly neurodivergence looks like and how people with it processes things differently.

Like, honestly, my biggest gripe was the recording and even that, for the SPECIFIC context of this story and Donnie as a character, it makes sense. Does it make it right? No, but if Donnie never had to think about these things before, for him it’s the same as recording everything to protect his family. Just something he does.

Also, even though my heart broke with Reader’s at her realization, MULTIPLE times reader has said Donnie says what he means and even at the beginning with the “I like you” thing I was like, “Girl, I’m going to need you to define the relationship with him.”

And I think, with Leo, even when writer’s do write him as neurodivergent, what I’ve read always has him as the he better masker whether it’s explicitly said or not. Idk if Symphony Leo is neurodivergent or not but STILL, reader has picked up that he’s good with masking which usually comes off as charming or “easy breezy beautiful cover girl”.

Idk, maybe because I know a lot of people like Donnie irl but if anything I was more frustrated at the obvious miscommunication between both of them than him directly, because as reader said, she projected her feelings on to him when he’s been super direct with his intentions.

Basically, there are sometimes where I wish people would just realize that processing the same thing between two people doesn’t always look the same and that one isn’t necessarily bad.

well-said, anon-chan!

edit: this got SPOILER!! HEAVY!! for chap. 22 and also soooo long so i'm going to tuck it under a cut. but here's some meta on symphony to explore this a bit since it's something that's very important to me and also... pretty critical to the fic itself! i don't typically like explaining myself outside of the text and letting the fic itself speak but. hm. i suppose i shall let it slide for today!

as you all have hopefully noticed by now, as an author, i like to be. hm. more subtle with things. i prefer to tuck things away versus having things be blatant in the text. and this is kind of coming back to bite me a little with donnie and his neurodivergence, i suspect.

i've tried pretty hard to make it contextually obvious that donnie's autistic. i've all but used the word. the way he behaves and communicates is heavily autism-coded.

meanwhile, the story is from viola-chan's pov, and she's neurotypical-coded (well. as much as i, an adhd-riddled autistic cat in a trenchcoat can manage).

as a result, she doesn't... pick up on donnie's problems with communication. not right away. but here, in this chapter, we see where she finally figures out what their issue has been the entire time:

…Oh. Oh god.  He really doesn’t get it. You’d known, of course, that Donnie wasn’t great with people. That he doesn’t communicate well. He doesn’t pick up on cues, or use them himself. No wonder he’s always so frank in his language, you realize. No wonder he’s so comforted by the firm rigidities of science. No wonder he looked so lost. No wonder he was so perplexed.

then, she puts that into practice by being specific and precise with how she talks. and we see that she now knows how to communicate with him in a way that works for both of them. and it works for them:

God; it’s like—a breath of fresh air, you think, staring at him in a little bit of awe. It’s so easy to talk to him, now that you’re just… letting it all out. Being honest. Frank. Infuriating that you hadn’t done this earlier. Feeling your irritation deflate, you nod. “…Okay. You just—need an explanation. Clarification.” “Yes, please,” Donnie gushes, fretting a little.

it's going to take some work. she still takes things he says personally and extrapolates past them (the whole "leo being an important person" thing). but she immediately nips it in the bud and is like. no. we're not doing that anymore. so, going forward, her relationship with donnie is one that's built on learning how to develop this open communication.

of course, it's not perfect, because they're human. donnie twisting her arm into still talking to him by calling in the favor is shitty behavior. a desperate bid to keep someone close that, for some reason, he can't imagine being without. not cool. the recordings of them having sex were shitty behavior to us, people who Know Better. but when violist-chan said 'hey, that's not cool, don't do that' and donnie was given a reason why not to, he just says ok. he might not understand ("but i record everything"). but he acknowledges that there's a concern there, and he agrees to be more conscientious in the future (having a consent sheet).

now then, let's look at leo's behavior in comparison.

donnie's biggest fault was that he didn't know to check in and make sure they were on the same page with everything. leo's fault, on the other hand, is purposeful, manipulative, and cruel. his open admission that he's been manipulating her from the beginning. manipulating donnie. lying to her.

to me, this is much, much worse than what donnie did. even knowing that at some point he starts developing friendly feelings towards her—and some of their interactions were indeed genuine!—i'm with violist-chan here. i'm not going to be digging through every one trying to parse out which ones were real and which ones were him being a dickhead. they're all tainted by the stain of betrayal.

also. because it has come up in a different ask that i will be publishing probably tomorrow bc of spoiler reasons: someone said something to the effect of 'why didn't he just not say anything? he could have taken that to his grave. how selfish'. i will remind you of a conversation between violist-chan and leo that happened in the previous chapter:

“Most of all, he’s honest,” you keep going, tangling your fingers together, staring down at the way they knot at your waist. “If he says something, I can take it at face value. There’s no hidden meaning. Nothing deeper. If he says something feels good, I know it feels good. If he says he likes something, he likes it. If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it. If he asks for something, I don’t need to ask if he’s sure. He asks, so he’s sure. It—It’s a breath of fresh air. If I want to know what he’s thinking, really thinking, all I have to do is ask. And...”  [...] Leo’s still as stone for a few moments longer, looking at you like he’s trying to decide if he wants to say something; but finally he relaxes and comes back to you himself. Reaching out, he flicks your forehead, causing you to wince and rub at it.

i think... leo maybe wouldn't have ever said anything about it. but then you said this. how donnie matters to you because he's honest. there's nothing deeper with him. it's all at face value. you never have to worry about what he's doing, what he's thinking. and that i think... really messed with leo. because he knows he hasn't been honest with you. you can't trust what he says at face value. you do have to worry about what he's doing. and for you to say that that's the main thing you love about donnie—it messed with him. so, even though he knew it would jeapordize the relationship with you, even knowing he wanted to put this off for as long as he could, even though, even though, he decides he has to tell you. he has to come clean.

so even though it feels like shitty, selfish behavior... it's actually him trying to do right by her for a change. to conform to what she looks for in a relationship (both romantic and platonic). it just... didn't go over so well, predictably. most people don't like hearing that not one, but two of their most precious relationships were built on a foundation of misunderstandings or lies.

side note. i do headcanon leo as having adhd that primarily manifests itself as an inattentive form. i don't suspect it has much to do with his behavior here... save perhaps for some possible rsd being triggered when violist-chan is like 'ok actually go fuck yourself i'm out of here.' i don't find it particularly relevant to the discussion of ableism, in this context.

so anyway. long post aside. it's... interesting to me. to see people saying 'actually fuck both donnie and leo equally!!! bleh bleh bleh!!!!' i don't know that it's. hm. active ableism. i'm certainly not accusing anyone of the sort. but it is, at the very least, indicative to me that there are a lot of people who don't read into the text as deeply as perhaps i would like on certain character traits, if i had a magic wand to wave.

....and also perhaps just ableism, haha.

[charliemwrites]

WHOOO!!! All the anons thirsting over capt daddy made me go back and reread specgru!reader (again) bc I needed QUENCHED! and I'm back on my hating 141 hrs. They deserve to feel shitty for how they treated reader, and they deserve to know she's getting d n p on the regular, just how she deserves!!!! Honestly I think ppl have been underselling just how much of a betrayal reader experienced!! Like, holy shit, 141 was supposed to be her team. She was supposed to be able to trust them and know they had her back even in a fuck up, bc she would do the same for them. Ppl are human, and make mistakes. Sometimes they're costly AF, and that's life. But she fucks up ONCE and gets abandoned in a hospital (for an indeterminate amount of time??????? With no company or care???) And then gets told to fuck off by her CAPTAIN?? And ppl want redemption for any of the 141 boys? No, they threw her out. They dumped her like last week's trash. They do not get to act like she deserves better now, because she deserved better when she nearly died. Fuck out of here. I can't wait until there's a genuine confrontation, where reader voices this (if that's the direction it's going, but reader also does not have to explain her pain to the ppl that hurt her. She does not owe them that.) Or where they realize the extent of their f up. We saw a little of how bad they fucked her over, and then realizing it, w the DNR order, but I really don't think they understand. I want them to hurt so bad (evil). Anyway, I'm down bad for captain daddy and I hope there are many more instances of nova and reader being the cutest in the whole entire world because they DESERVE IT

Hi!!!! Thank you so much!!! I think it wouldn’t have been so bad if they’d yelled at reader or she was in some kind of disciplinary trouble. But the fact that they just…. Started treating her like a stranger. That was what hurt the most, I think. All that work and effort she put into them, all the relationships she built with them - it was like they disappeared in all the ways that mattered.

[starysky1289]

hello!! i love your recent captain!vanessa x rookie!reader fic omg im on my knees for captain!vanessa omg <3 i was wondering if toxic!sorority!vanessa would ever receive pleasure from reader instead of giving it? if yes, could you do a fic about it? 👀 anyways hope you take care of yourself and keep urself safe!! <33

A/N: I have more Captain!vanessa on the way!!! It’s just in the oven rn. Also sorry if this one is a bit short, I’m getting back into the swing of writing fics. Hope it’s good for yall tho!!

Toxic!Sorority!Vanessa X Reader. Selfish.

TW: Toxic relationship, Guilt Tripping.

You lay on the bed with Vanessa, she sit besides you, braiding your hair, ranting about her day.

“ AND THEN Lily, fucking little slut. Practically BEGGED me for some coke on fucking campus!! Like in front of people! I know every one knows but Jesus! I can’t get arrested right now! “

You chuckled, scrolling through your phone as you listened. Sometimes all she needed was to let off a little steam. And you sat pretty and let her.

“ I’m still so fucking pissed. It’s been a day yn. “

“ I’m sure it has. “

“…that’s it? “

You glanced up, tilting your head slightly. She glared down at you, shaking her head.

“ your not going to make me feel better? “

“ oh uh- I’m sorry nessy…can I help anyways…?? “

“ your awful at comforting people ya know. “

“ you just usually…don’t care. “

She groaned, laying back in bad. You rolled over and shimmied up to her, wrapping arm across her.

“ well now I want comfort. Why are you acting like this is such a big deal yn! “

“ I-it’s not a big deal a-at all!! W-what do you want me to do Vanessa…? “

She hummed, thinking to herself. You knew she knew exactly what she wanted, but she wouldn’t tell you easily. She was tricky like that, you had to figure out how to crack her.

“ want me too…talk about my day? “

“ and take MY spotlight?? Selfish whore..”

“ n-no your right! Uhm…I can cook you something…? “

Vanessa let out another ‘ Hmph ‘ and rolled over face down in her pillows. You sighed, playing with her hair. You knew what she wanted, but you also knew she was going to be mean about it. But you’d rather her be mean than upset at you.

“ do you wanna…fuck me..? “

“…hm…no…I want you to fuck me~ “

“ what??? “

You sat up in shock, your eyes wide in confusion. She snickered and sat up besides you pulling you into her.

“ well..i just realized that you’ve never done it! And it feels like you’re being selfish…like you don’t love me…”

“ b-but I do love you Nessa! “

“ then prove it…and fuck me just as good as I do you~ “

You fiddled with your thumbs, you’d never even dreamed of fucking her before! She was always on top of you, and you ever dare say a word she’d drop you.

“ cmon, I’ll take these off, you know where the strap is, and you know what to for for foreplay~ “

You gulped, getting up and heading towards her vanity, stripping off your clothes and pulling out the pink strap. You examined the features, before slipping it on, tightening it around your hips and waist. Turning back, your heart nearly stopped when you saw her. Vanessa was just taking off her bra, laying nude on her bed; her skin almost glowed, her soft muscles rippling ontop of the woolen blankets.

“ cmon…get me ready yn~ “

You nodded, getting back on the bed and keeping your head between her legs, looking up at her before letting your tongue swim through her gentle folds. You immediately felt her legs crush between your head, keeping you in place.

“ that’s it…keep going yn..make me all nice and wet~ “

You nodded, or did the best nod you could trapped between two legs. You started a steady pace of laps through and around her folds, holding her waist to keep her somewhat under control.

“ cmon, i can fuck myself better with a table edge than you are, I thought you said you loved me! “

“ I domph! “

“ then prove it! Get up, roll me over, and fuck me. “

Vanessa growled, pulling your head up with your hair and throwing you to your knees. You quickly grabbed her waist and rolled her over. Her grasped her hips, aligning yourself with her hole, and slowly pushing yourself in.

“ fuck..I am small..I can’t believe I get you sobbing with this thing…”

You didn’t respond, only thrusting in, and slowly pulling out. You went red in the face, as your started your thrust pattern, in and out, just like Vanessa would.

“ come on. Harder! Is this anyways to fuck someone?? “

“ I-I’m trying Nessa! “

“ not hard enough. You said you loved me, show me you love me then!

This time you thrusted in harder, getting a groan out of her. You had lost the pattern, now just trying to get in as deep as possible. Sweat began to bead down your forehead as you continued, throwing her legs over your shoulders to hold you up.

“ I used to ride toys better than this, I could pay any girl in this fucking house to fuck me better. You want me to? Leave you here and sleep with a better girl? “

“ n-no vanessa!!! I l-love you!! “

“ say it like you mean it. “

“ I-i love you Vanessa!! “

“ again. “

You were panting now, struggling to keep going. The strap was hitting your puffy clit, making you whine as you got ever so closer to your orgasim.

“ I love you Vanessa!! “

You slammed in deeper a few times, before finally finishing with one last thrust, colpasing onto her as you heard her whine.

“ I-I’m sorry…I-I’m so sorry I tried not t-to cum before you, I-i “

“ I came…don’t..tell anyone I did this…I-i don’t..ever cum this easy..”

Vanessa muttered, as you smiled softly, burrying your head in her neck.

“ get up. I’m going in the shower, are you coming? “

“ o-oh, yeah! “

“ good. I’ll take care of you in there~ “

You flushed, quickly sitting off Vanessa and slowly pulling out, tossing the strap to the side. Vanessa got up, stumbling her first few steps, before grabbing her robe that hung from her chair.

“ I’ll get it going…hurry up before I decide to start…”

“ alright…I love you Vanessa! I-I hope you had a good time…”

“….dont get ahead of yourself…”

You sighed as she left, grabbing your robe from her closet and getting ready to follow her out. She was just embarrassed, you told yourself, who wouldn’t be! But, despite everything, you followed her out of the room and into the shower, giving yourself to her again. Just like you always did to make her happy.

[luckycloverforducks]

Tell me more about velvette and baggies relationship in the swap au

I wanna see all the different and toxicity in it, and how charlie would react to it and all that

*Not sure eif I sent a similar ask to this or not- if I did sorry)

FUCK YES I FINALLY CAN YAP

And dw you did not my ask box is. Empty

Their relationship is vaguely similar to I think, Mammon and Fizz?? Somewhat, I mean I've never watched Helluva but I've seen people talk about it, Vaggie feels indebted to Velvette for getting her to where she is right now yk with being a popular star, and Velvette is. Interesting

Velvette often switches back and forth between treating Vaggie like a bestie and just another demon working under her, and previously before Charlie came into the picture, sometimes like a girlfriend, which leaves Vaggie constantly confused

Velvette often overworks Vaggie to hell and back, but honestly she kinda? means well? A teensy bit, she doesn't want Vaggie to fall from popularity if she leaves the public eye for too long, and Vaggie does like performing/singing and the praise she often gets from it (even if she gets overwhelmed sometimes) so in a way she's trying to help her maintain the fame and praise that Vaggie often seemed to preen over, so in a fucked up way, in her eyes, she's trying to keep her happy and to keep up everything they both have worked hard for (Vaggie's career). She's also like, really into Vaggie but she gave up on that pursuit a bit ago, doesn't stop her from being petty and toxic about it tho

Vaggie is tired and confused, to say the least. She doesn't really know what Velvette actually thinks of her, if she values her in any way, or even care at all about her. Velvette tends to demean and sometimes verbally abuse Vaggie but the next day she tends to sort of make up for it, like she feels bad. In the early days, they were much closer, and Vaggie genuinely liked Velvette, and maybe had a little crush on her.

When Vaggie does good, Velvette showers her with praise, affection, and affirmation but is she slips up, she gets cold and mean, even a little shouty at times, and "honestly are you trying to embarrass me at this point?!" And Vaggie just stands there confused, ashamed, and a little pissed. Does she even see her as anything other than another asset for her brand? She can't tell. Sometimes it feels like she does, sometimes it doesn't. Vaggie is just so confused.

Velvette pushes her so much because she knows she can do better, but she constantly fails to take account Vaggie's limits, boundaries, and feelings, especially since Vaggie tends to mask her true feelings alot, keeping them all inside until they burst under the smallest addition of pressure, which makes her lash out at Velvette when Velvette didn't really deserve it at the moment, which makes Velvette think she's being unfair.

Vaggie feels that Vel is capable of being a better person, she just doesn't see that she's not one already, or that she needs to (or maybe she's just not worth it in her eyes?)

But neither hate the other, not really. Vaggie would like to, but she can't quite get there, while Velvette wouldn't even dream of genuinely hating Vaggie.

It's complicated, they're both fond of each other but also have a certain animosity between each other, esp Vaggie (rightfully so)

They are honestly both flaming messes, Velvette being the worst one of the two and also a part of the reason why Vaggie is a flaming mess aswell-

In short :Vel is a bad boss and a conflicting 'friend', and Vaggie is struggling through it

And Abt what Charlie thinks? She sincerely hopes Velvette explodes, she would do it herself but Vaggie still has an attachment to her (which Charlie sincerely hopes she'd lose, Vel isn't good for her, or much of anyone) so for now she just lets her be, but they always argue w/ each other (Vaggie just sigh tiredly in the background)

Hope this satisfies you, I have alot of thoughts Abt them :3

[themoonistalkingtou]

🌌How I got into Tarot + my tips for beginners

Read please: this is copied or inspired by @nicromancytarot111 ! She came up with this idea mainly so I was inspired, go check out her blog, it's very interesting ♥︎

☆How I get into it?

Well, I started reading tarot earlier this year... all this thanks to my ex-partner buying me the Rider Waite deck, he knew I liked witchcraft, and that I also wanted the Rider Waite deck so he bought it for me secretly and then I found the deck stored in a dresser drawer in his room- I don't know how I found it but I did lol.

So I started to practice, unfortunately I was one of those people who read a whole definition of a card instead of reading small words that define that same card, it took me time... I didn't know how to read or interpret them, and I got frustrated.

I have a friend who has been reading the same tarot deck for 2 years now, and we practiced together, she noticed my frustration but well. I learned that I didn't have to read the whole definition of a card to know what it meant (although it was hard).

I am a beginner and tarot is like a refuge for me, and I have had mistakes before. Once I asked about the love I had with a person and I got "The devil", and when I saw that card I thought it was a very powerful and unconditional love (what was going on in my brain? idk lol)

Although sometimes it is difficult for me, since I am a person with a bad emotional condition, my emotions win me, with this I have bad self-esteem and that makes me compare myself with other tarotists, if you feel this way I want to tell you that you are not alone- I understand that it is difficult but they are only emotions that are going to happen, to me they still happen and it is horrifying so I back off, it is horrible to feel this way but well, they are only moments.

☆How do I read tarot cards?

We all have our ritual before reading the cards, don't we? And I think that's very good.

I don't have any ritual, the only thing that makes me read the cards are my energies at that moment (if I feel like it or not).

I consider myself a spiritual person but I don't clean the cards and I don't protect myself before doing a reading, it's just not necessary FOR ME. I mean, if you like to do that and you find it comfortable, good for you, I don't do it.

What I do do is ask out loud and proceed to shuffle, if a card jumps I leave it and then shuffle the deck again.

I always draw 4 or 3 cards! and if I want more context I ask the air for the cards to give me more context and draw a card, this card would give me the context of the situation (but I only do this if I don't understand the cards I have previously drawn).

☆ Tips from a beginner to a beginner

(this is what I recommend, if you like to do what I don't like to do it's fine!)

Use your intuition! I don't recommend you to look at the complete definition of a card, just its key words and use them to make your reading.

Ask questions that will help you move forward and not delay you back to the past. For example, "What does my ex think of me?"... instead I suggest you ask "What do I have to overcome from my ex relationship in order to open myself back up in love?".

Don't get frustrated or compare yourself with other tarotists, I mean, let it all out but don't let that frustration get the better of you (don't be like me lmao).

When you draw the cards, look at them, before looking for their key words, look at them and ask yourself what they generate and intuit what is happening ☆

Enjoy the tarot! Tarot should be enjoyed, don't see it as an obligation, if someone wants you to do a tarot reading...do it when you have the energy to do it! ☆

★★★

Well, so much for this informative blog, I hope you found it at least a little interesting ♥︎

w love: Bri ☆