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#sometimes she says things that make me so upset and defeated that it's hard to be around her
emometalhead · 2 years
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#it's so weird spending time with my mom#like she's my mom. I love her. I appreciate her. for the most part I enjoy spending time with her.#sometimes she says things that make me so upset and defeated that it's hard to be around her#today she said the worst people are repressed gay people that aren't out#she said all gay people need to be 'flamboyant and happy' or there's no point#how do I come out to her when she says things like this??? how am I ever supposed to feel safe and supported enough to come out#I panicked and blocked a really nice+pretty girl that genuinely wanted to go on a date with me bc I couldn't think of a way to tell my mom#it's pathetic and I feel awful#I can't drag someone else into this though#my mom also denied that I'm mentally ill. she said my anxiety and OCD don't count and blamed my anxiety on caffeine#she denied it when I said I'm anxious everyday but don't consume caffeine on a daily basis#it genuinely doesn't make my anxiety worse and she's never denied my anxiety in the past so idk what started it now#she also started arguing about some old superstitions my grandma has#these things are so odd/outdated that my dad asked how my grandma is even from the 20th century bc she acts like she was born way before#it made no sense for my mom to suddenly repeat and defend this stuff#idk I'm tired. mentally and physically. didn't sleep too well last night so I'm sure that's contributing to my overthinking#I'm actually feeling fine rn all things considered. it's just exhausting trying to think about the future and how to navigate things#ashley rambles#mom tag
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mrvlbimbo · 2 years
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giving eddie visible hickies and stroking his hair and telling him he’s a good boy. and then dustin seeing them at school and losing his shit lol
He’s always gushing to the hellfire club about you and they just Do Not believe him. And he doesn’t want to invade your privacy by telling them a bunch so he just keeps his mouth shut as much as he can.
But it’s hard because he loves you and he wants to talk about you all the time. He’s a pretty secure guy but the constant teasing gets to him sometimes, especially because he already thinks you’re way out of his league.
So he’ll come home all sad one day and you just instantly know something is wrong. His shoulders sag and he flops down onto the couch looking defeated.
He rests his head in your lap and pouts dramatically, waiting for you to ask what’s wrong. You give him a knowing look and pet his hair softly. “What’s got you all mopey?”
“The Freshman are giving me shit about you.”
You just nod and give him a little kiss on the forehead, having heard this whole thing far too many times already. Sometimes you had half the mind to march down to the school and give those kids a peace of your mind for making your poor Eddie so upset.
Then bam, light bulb moment. You push him off your lap and crawl on top of him. “What’s all this about?” He asks, not one to turn down some good old fashioned fooling around.
Your lips ghost his neck as you whisper, “gonna let me mark you up? Show them you’re mine?” He fucking shivers, like out of body experience. He thought he was going to die right there.
He nodded and you murmur “good boy” before getting to work on his neck. And mark him up you did, he was covered in dark purple hickeys the next day.
When he walked into the lunchroom, his whole table gasped. “You get lucky last night, Munson?” Mike commented.
“I get lucky every night because I have a perfect girlfriend who loves me.” They all rolled their eyes, still not believing a word coming out of his mouth. And he returns home that night, his dilemma remaining unsolved.
He assures you he doesn’t need you to come to his meetings (even though you know how important it is to him) bc he doesn’t want to annoy you.
But one day you’re off work and you figure ‘why not give my boyfriend a little visit’ it’s been a while since you’ve been at Hawkins’s but you find the room eventually.
When you walk in one of the older guys makes a joke and asks you what you’re doing there. And Eddie instantly shuts them down like “dude that’s my girlfriend.”
And when you look at all of them just fucking staring in shock, you decide to give them a little show. “Hi baby. Thought I’d pay you and your friends a visit. Is that ok?”
He’s just like grinning so much and you can’t help but smile back at him when he says “yeah of course, cmon have a seat.” And he pats his lap so you just crawl into the chair with him.
You know it’s rude to the other people in the room but you’re running your hands through his hair and kissing his neck the whole time. He’s absolutely blushing furiously because he’s not used to the PDA at all.
When the meeting is over they all apologize for not believing him, which is more like a congratulations to be honest. One of the freshman (probably Dustin bc we all know he has the audacity) would say “holy shit dude she’s smokin hot.”
And he’d just chuckle and agree, probably letting it go to his head a little that you’re really his and everyone knows it.
Whelp that was longer than I expected. My inbox is full of great stuff but I have work today. Keep sending it and I’ll get to it all eventually!!!
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photmath · 11 months
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Another Round? | Trent Alexander-Arnold
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Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Female Reader
Summary: One conversation about your sexual desires leads you bent sideways with the last person you expected.
Word Count: 6.6k
Warnings: SUGGESTIVE CONTENT (18+), minors DNI, partying, mention of fwb content
Note: Kind of a bit rushed and ahhh, I may end up doing some edits later.
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You weren’t supposed to be in this position: head resting on his bare chest while his arm skimmed your waist. It all happened too fast. You knew the saying, “one thing leads to another,” but you never expected to find yourself a victim to those words. You thought it was a fluke, that if you ever found yourself in that position you would resist it.
But here you were nonetheless. Having slept with the man no one—least of all, you—expected.
“I’m so glad you could make it!” Brie screamed, drawing you in for a hug. She was hosting a last-minute party as the summer holiday was slowly coming to a break. Her and your close friends were invited to come to her beach house for the weekend, although you weren’t entirely sure how long you were planning on staying.
It was the first time most of you were together after university had let out. Although many of you were close enough for shared vacations and had been on some together already, it was hard to get the entire friend group together, dates often overlapping with other events.
You gave Brie a smile while scoping out the set up. Brie’s family owned a private area of the beach, the sand and water only a few steps off of her backyard deck. She had already laid logs in a circle around the soon-to-be bonfire.
Hearing raucous, you turn towards the noise and see a car pulling in. Brie chuckles, “That must be Jude and Trent.”
You didn’t share many classes with either of them, but they were in the friend group, always loud and present. Jude was the newest addition, a teammate of Trent’s that he would drag to parties. Jude was much younger than the rest of you all, you often joked about his age while he would just roll his eyes.
Trent on the other hand, was much more private. He could be rowdy with the group sometimes but also very reserved to himself. The two of you were never super close like he was with others. Only friends with two entirely different lifestyles who made small talk. Trent lived for parties and football while you would be locked up in the studio working on a new canvas. The only parties you went to were the ones Brie and the others hosted.
“Hey!” Jude yells, gaining your attention. You expected to see Trent coming out of the driver’s side but it’s Jude.
You beam, “Long time no see, strangers.”
Trent wears dark, circled shades so you can’t make out if he’s looking at you when he looks in your direction. A small smile tugs to his lips as the gold necklace around his neck shines above his black button-up. Jude, on the other hand, wore bright red swimming trunks and a black tank that hugged him tight.
“Nice to see you again,” he pulls you close to him briefly, then turns around and tosses Trent the car keys.
Breaking the ice, you force out a chuckle in Trent’s direction as he gives you a one-armed hug, “You let him drive?”
“He needed the practice,” Trent shrugs, his arm sliding off of your shoulders once you remove yours from his waist. “He may not have a license, but I don’t have a car right now.”
You furrow your brows, suddenly confused, “Where’s yours?”
“I sold it.”
“But you promised you would let me drive it!” you exclaim. It was true, he had a Lamborghini that he was ‘borrowing’ from his uncle, but then later admitted it was his car. He had let a couple of his friends drive it and once it was supposed to be your turn, he said it was getting too late and that he should head home.
Trent only smiles, “You can drive the next car.”
“Is it a Lambo?”
“No,” he says, walking towards the house.
You let out a small sound of defeat, not at all that entirely upset, but you would’ve loved to be behind the wheel of that car. Following Trent silently, you get a whiff of his cologne. The smell intoxicates your senses and somehow also relieves the tension in your shoulders. Once you two make it further into the kitchen of the house, Jude comes by and slings his arm over you, handing you an alcoholic can.
“Oh I’m not drinking tonight,” you refuse, laughing as he takes a gulp. You raise a brow, “Aren’t you too young?”
He rolls his eyes, “You know I’m not.” He tucks the other can into his armpit, taking another gulp, “I’m planning on getting fucked up.”
“So you’re staying the night?”
He nods, “Mm-hmm, just tonight. I can’t stay tomorrow night—family stuff.”
“You’re taking Trent back then?”
He shrugs, “Don’t know. He wants to stay all three days, but I told him I can’t take him home so we’ll see.”
“Okay, try not to get wasted before the party starts,” you smirk, pulling away from him. Jude gives you a boyish grin as you walk away to help out Brie. Trent leans against the kitchen island, peeking through the tins of food. He catches you walking past, sending you a soft smile. His shades now abandoned, hanging against the buttons of his shirt.
---
As more and more people arrived—university and childhood friends alike—the looser you became. You were still sipping on a soda as you swayed to the music, you all moving closer to the beach. Not everyone was expected to stay the night, and the ones that were, seemed to be the most buzzed. Jude had to be hauled out of the beach multiple times and be kept under the supervision of you all.
You had lost track of Trent, in all honesty, not even looking for him but once you noticed he was missing, you were curious. He had never crossed your mind before, but now that he wasn’t in your line of sight, suddenly you were—what? Making sure he hadn’t left? Hadn’t taken off without telling you his goodbyes?
Usually, if he were to leave the room, you weren’t immediately thinking of him like you were now.
The beach was only lit from the bonfire and the lights that showcased through the windows of the house. The deck and pool were also illuminated as you walked towards the house. You wanted a new soda anyway.
As you mingled with a couple of friends on your way there, you spotted Trent on the edge of the deck near the ice chests. Of course. You make your way towards him, tossing the empty can into a bin and then giving him a timid smile once he turns your way.
“Have you seen Jude?” he asks, bending down to open the cooler for you. You pick another drink and then stand up, cracking it open.
“Last I saw him, he was puking by the fire.”
Trent shakes his head with disapproval, “That kid.”
“What? Are you on babysitting duty?”
He chuckles, “No. I have his keys anyway.”
You watch as he swings his soda in his hand, staring around at the crowd. He seemed a mixture of uninterested and very nonchalant as he looked all around you. You give him a meek smile although he doesn’t catch it, “Are you going to go by the bonfire?”
“No.”
You nod slowly, pointing towards it, “Well I’m going to go.”
“Have fun,” he voices aloof.
Asshole.
That was the kind of Trent you were more used to. Few words towards you. Either lively or withering, never in between. Feeling embarrassed for evening caring, you pull out your phone and text someone you swore to let go of months ago, but you needed an outlet for a few minutes.
A couple of hours pass as you find yourself in the pool with Brie and Jude, his eyes are brimmed red while he sings loudly in your ear. He keeps swaying side to side, making water slap against your cheek.
“Jude,” you scold.
“Sorry, love,” he slurs, giggling and then turning towards Brie to serenade her.
You laugh, scrolling through Brie’s phone to queue the next song. Your own phone is in your other hand, dangerously filled with water droplets. It buzzes and you squint to make out the blurry text:
Sorry, not making it tonight.
You groan, Jude suddenly turning towards you but you are quick to lock your phone. You hand Brie back her phone, “Think I’m going to go take a walk.”
“Okay, stay close to the house.”
“Will do,” you smile, wading through the water to get to the other end. You dry yourself with a towel and then slide your cover up back on before rolling your eyes as you reread the text message. Making your way to the boardwalk, you don’t notice Trent leaning against the wooden frame until he’s a step in front of you.
“What’s up?”
“Nothing,” you grumble. You walk past him, slipping your phone into your pocket. The bottom of his shoes scrape against the wood as he follows you.
“Who texted?”
“No one.”
Trent chuckles, “You seem upset.”
“I’m not,” you grit your teeth. The boardwalk led up to the small lot reserved for cars, your own car being one of them. You hadn’t necessarily meant to walk towards them, but you were suddenly thankful that you had left your car keys in the pocket of your cover up.
“Are you leaving?”
“No.”
“But your car is—”
“I’m not leaving, Trent.” Trent’s skin glows dimly from the fire off in the distance although the both of you are too far to be seen from the house and beach. You lean against your car door and fold your arms, “I needed some space.”
The muscles of his arms grow as he folds them, shifting his weight to one leg. A smirk crawls onto his face as he swipes his bottom lip with his thumb, “Ah, I know what you were up to.”
You roll your eyes, still somewhat annoyed that he was still here pestering you—especially after you had left him alone when he was practically begging for silence earlier. “What was I up to then?”
“You were on your way to see someone.”
“No I wasn’t.”
“Yes you were,” he repeats. “You’re disappointed because they said no.”
You want to roll your eyes but don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being right because that’s exactly what you did. They were supposed to be at the party anyway, but didn’t feel like making the hour-long drive towards the beach at the last minute. As if the drive was so long anyway.
“I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Since you seem to know the answer to your question, why ask then?” you ask in vexation. Trent was loving it, pleased to have pressed your buttons and guess correctly, though it was never a competition in his eyes.
The smirk he wears slowly fades as a moment of silence passes. He makes a noise with his lips before he speaks, “I don’t know…was wondering what they had that wasn’t already here.”
You shake your head, “I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“What conversation?”
“You’re doing a lot right now,” you wave him off, grabbing a hold of the keys in your pocket and unlocking the car.
“Oh come on,” he deflates. “I’m kidding around, I’m sorry.” Opening the door, you hop in while he steps forward, “Wait—I really didn’t mean it, Y/N.”
You chew on your bottom lip as he keeps the door pried open, his hand wrapped on top of it. He’s staring down at you, waiting for your response.
“Get in the damn car then.”
“Are you serious?” he hesitates.
“If you ask me another question, Trent, I seriously think I’m going to lose it,” you warn. He only lets out a snort, shutting your door and walking around to the other end. His black shirt flaps open as he walks across the front, him sporting the same blank tank as Jude underneath.
He hops into the passenger seat, flashing you a nervous look as you turn on your car, “Don’t kill me now.”
“You willingly drove with Jude,” you retorted, letting out a smile to lose some of the tension you were having. You didn’t want the entire drive to be uncomfortable for the both of you. You start the car and then pull out, Trent looking around eagerly. “Do you want ice cream?”
He makes a face, “Not really…”
“Well that sucks,” you look at him and he turns towards you. His eyes are quick as they scan the features of your face, subtle but noticeable. “I was only asking nicely because I want ice cream.”
Trent lets out a strained laugh, “Uh—I guess I can do ice cream if you’re paying.”
“Woah, I never said that.”
“But you asked!”
“To take your order, not to pay.”
“It’ll only be a few.”
“Fine,” you concede, waving him off. He chuckles, settling in his seat as you come to the street. You don’t need directions to make it to the beachside stores that were ten minutes away from the house, having always picked up ice cream from the parlor late at night.
Parking the car, you turn it off and hop out, Trent immediately by your side as he looks around the stores. “They never sleep, hmm?”
You shake your head, “Not with the abundance of drunk tourists.”
“I’ve always driven past here but never stopped.”
“We can walk around if you’d like, I don’t mind.”
“Sure,” he smiles, pulling the door handle of the parlor and letting you walk in first. You beam at the worker, immediately ordering a two-scoop ice cream cone while Trent orders pralines and cream in a cone. He ends up paying for the cones, making a deal with you because you put up with him teasing you.
As the two of you walk down the boardwalk, you point at items you find interesting or what he finds ludicrous. He stops at a bench that looks on towards the moon and dark horizon of the water and sits down, “So just to calm down my curiosity, are you ever going to tell me what made you upset? I know it’s not my business but I am curious.”
You sit down next to him, muttering, “You were right.”
Trent’s eyebrows shoot up as he stares at you, his jaw gaping wide, “No way.”
“Yes,” you nod, finally biting onto the waffle cone.
“You were going to leave the party to hook up with someone?”
You nod again, cheeks burning slightly while you were acknowledging your escapades with Trent of all people. Neither of you had ever exchanged these kinds of intimate details despite knowing that the both of you were having sex with other people around the university. For Trent especially, it wasn’t uncommon for your friends to tease him about a fresh, new hickey on him at times.
“I can’t believe it,” he murmurs. “That I was right about that.”
“Don’t act surprised as if you wouldn’t do it yourself.”
“I would probably do it with someone at the party, not drive to them,” he exasperates. “I would never drive.”
“I know, that’s why the girl always has to drive and it’s annoying,” you lean up against the bench, folding one of your legs on top of the other. “Then you guys think we’re the desperate ones, but the truth is you all are lazy.”
He shakes his head, “No no, not entirely true. I’ve driven to them before, but I mean there were a bunch of people at the party, Y/N! Why couldn’t you have just had sex with someone there?”
You shrug, you hadn’t thought of it. You had a small fear of getting caught, but then you also wondered where exactly you would have sex with someone at. It didn’t help that you knew almost everyone at that party in some kind of way, so it wasn’t the first idea you thought of.
“How far was the drive?” he grills.
“Still with the questions, Trent,” you tease. “A little under an hour.”
“Oh my!” he exclaims. “You were going to drive all the way over there for what?”
“It’s just easier when you already know the person,” you defend. “Have you never had casual sex?”
“I have,” he turns your way, “I’m just shocked, I can’t lie.”
You have heard this story before. No one ever expected you to be having sex with men regularly, making it seem like you had so many partners when you didn’t.
You try to bite your tongue but fail, “And then that’s another thing. Everyone sees me as some innocent girl who has no idea what she’s doing when I do. It’s like they’re intrigued with corrupting me and trying to ‘break me,’ and then when they figure out that I do know what I’m doing, they get all butt hurt.”
Trent’s eyes grow wide, the cone almost slipping out of his grip as he listens to you.
“Men have the worst egos, getting so upset that they don’t last long, so I can never have my way, and always have to let them be in control,” you rant. “They’re so fragile! I mean it’s not a bad thing you can’t last for a couple of minutes if the other person knows what they’re doing—it’s the reaction you guys have afterward.”
Trent puts his hand up in the air to slow you down, “Wait, is this about the guy you were going to meet up with?”
You groan, “Him and others.”
“Then why were you going to go back if you know what to expect?” Although there’s a decent amount of space between the two of you, Trent still outstretches his arm on top of the bench as he angles his body towards yours. “Because you know him?”
“That, and I mean sometimes he lets me have his way.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
You give him an all-knowing look and he shrugs. You sputter out an awkward laugh, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”
Trent was all for it, enjoying the gossip from an outsider point of you. He chuckles, “I won’t tell anyone. Come on, now tell me what absolutely kills girls having sex with us.”
“You better not, Trent, this is only now slightly embarrassing.”
He raises his arms up, “You have my word.”
It was unwise to trust him so quickly but you did it anyway. You sigh, “He would never let me get on top, it’d always be him doing the work, and then the second I wanted to take control he wasn’t having it.”
Trent frowns, “He never wanted you to get on top?”
“A couple of times, but then he would be pulling me off.”
“Let me guess, he lasted only two seconds?”
You facepalm, groaning, “Yes!”
Trent lets out a loud laugh, “Oh god.”
“It’s happened to me before, almost as if they like the idea of me doing the work until it actually happens,” you complain. “Then other little pet peeves of course—when they come first and just leave you hanging there, but that’s a common one that girls complain about.”
Trent nods, his face scrunched up, “I’ve heard that before—not about me though.”
You roll your eyes, “Whatever, I’m sure she has faked it before.”
Trent blows out a whisk of air, shaking his head adamantly, “No, no, let’s finish talking about you before we start with me.”
You laugh. Trent had long gone finished his cone while listening to you, but you never really had the chance to eat yours while ranting. Trent notices the subtle frown beginning to form on your face, “I can buy you another after this, or when I tell you my stories.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Hmm,” you debate, reconsidering as a kind smile forms on his face. Well, since he asked so nicely. “Let me think about it.”
“You want me to toss it for you?”
“Sure, thank you, Trent.” You hand him the melted mess of the cone wrapped inside the napkin. He had always been thoughtful, attentive to his friends and certain facial expressions that he was a master at reading. Especially when you all were out in public, he protected the group and made sure everyone made it home safely.
He comes back to the bench, sitting a little closer than before and turns towards you. “Go on,” he smirks.
“Sometimes when men talk too much mid-act,” you go on.
Trent snorts, “Not a fan?”
You shrug, “Sometimes. I just wish men could read the room better, that there’s a time and place for it and sometimes we aren’t feeling it. But nooo, they keep on doing their thing, disregarding the other entirely.”
Trent can’t help but to watch your face contort as you talk, enamored by the way you weren’t embarrassed to share this with him. “Maybe you have had bad partners. You haven’t found the right person. Do you want a relationship at all with them?”
“Not him,” you cringe, earning a laugh from Trent.
“Are you looking for a relationship?”
You shrug, “If it happens, it happens.”
“So, just sex?”
“Not with every guy I see.”
He scoffs, “Obviously, I’m not judging here.”
“I only want to try out different things, is that too hard to ask for?” you sigh. You wished you had some kind of shame sounding like a horny teenager but you were fed up. It had been months since you had more-than-decent sex, one in which you didn’t feel obliged to follow their lead. You didn’t mind when they took control, but you didn’t want the same thing over and over again. Now, you were comfortable admitting what you did and didn’t want.
Trent snickers, “I mean personally, I don’t mind when they take the lead. Yeah, I like doing my own thing but—” he shrugs “—it’s not the end of the world. Do I come faster when she’s on top? Sometimes, yes, but that just means another round and some more foreplay.”
You almost hated the way the little light in your brain suddenly piqued with interest when he first mentioned that he didn’t mind giving up the lead. You couldn’t see Trent that way. He wasn’t someone who you ever considered sleeping with, especially when the two of you had never bonded like the others. He wasn’t someone you hung out regularly with, and so the two of you suddenly being closer would raise some suspicions. And goodness, why were you thinking this deeply about him?
It was never going to happen.
You nod, trying to remember Trent’s words, “Foreplay. Always important.”
“And aftercare.”
You stifle a laugh, “That too.”
Trent takes a moment before his next response, letting the sound of the waves lapping over each other fill the silence. Trent lets out an airy sigh, “Do you still want your ice cream? I reckon it’s getting quite late.”
“No, thank you for the offer though,” you smile. He stands up, holding his hand out for you to take. You grab a hold of it, impressed with the warmth and then let it go as the two of you make it back to the car. It was a much lighter walk, perhaps because of the two of you sharing a few more-than-personal details between each other.
He bumps into your shoulder, whispering, “Wait, so does this mean you rarely gave this man head?”
You laugh, “I mean, unless we weren’t planning on having sex afterward, then yes. Once he came, he was done for the day.”
Trent gawks, holding in his laughter, “Oh man. And you still wanted to drive to him!”
“Shut up,” you push him away. “He was my only option.”
Trent sputters out a laugh, “I mean, I wouldn’t say only option.”
And you knew the look he gave you, it was almost universal. The suggestive eyes accompanied with a small smirk. The two of you didn’t exchange another word as you got to the car, but the feeling was mutual and thick. The profound silence didn’t help either. You avoided his gaze like a hawk the entire drive, hoping that the party would still be at its peak when you arrived.
But it only took one look as you turned off the car at the lot, the party still in full effect. It was a quick glance in his direction, but Trent was already looking at you through a hooded gaze. If you held no composure, you would have jumped on him in a second.
“Fuck,” you mutter.
“What?” he asks lowly, voice full of sultry. He takes off his seatbelt and does nothing else.
“I knew this was going to happen.”
Trent looks around in the car, his hand raising, “Nothing is happening.”
“I knew that as soon as I started talking about sex you would see it as an invitation. I’m not having sex with you.”
He shakes his head, “I never said that. I didn’t think of that either.”
“Then fix your face.”
“It’s fixed.”
You raise a brow while staring at him. The both of you were having a standoff, seeing who would fold first. You could lie and say you didn’t want this, but Trent’s cologne, his exposed chest, his hands—they were all drawing you in. They’d been drawing you in since the night started, only now were you finally realizing it.
Trent’s lips curl up, “I wasn’t trying to have sex with you. Get your head out of the gutter.”
“Oh shut up,” you retort.
“You talked about guys having bad egos,” he smiles, his teeth flashing in your direction. He was teasing now, enjoying the way you had suddenly gone quiet.
“I stand by it.”
His low laugh echoes throughout the car, and the sound of you unclicking your seatbelt is even louder. Trent’s gaze follows the seatbelt sliding back into its spot. He wasn’t going to make the first move, you knew that.
Groaning, you hide your smile with your hand, “Agh, you’re such an ass.”
His sneer only widens as he looks down at his own thighs. Your car was tall enough for you to hop on top of him hypothetically, but did you really want to have sex with him in the parking lot? Somehow, the idea of the two of you getting caught only intrigued you more.
“There’s more space in the back,” you suggest. “If—you know—something were to…”
Trent leans in slowly, his fingertips grazing across your jaw, stopping at your chin, “Ah, I thought you wanted to be in control, are you getting shy, love?”
Your face was the warmest it had been the entire night, not even when you were standing directly in front of the bonfire were you this hot. His delicate fingers press against your cheek and chin, teasing you the entire time.
You gulp, your breath hitching as his hand falls towards your neck, “Trent—”
“Tell me what you want.”
“Get in the backseat.” His fingers trail upward again as you feel his exhale land on your face.
“And?”
“I don’t know if I can go on top.”
He smirks, eyes snapping right back to yours, “Why is that?”
“I—”
“You got shy?”
“A little,” you roll your eyes. Trent only chuckles, caressing your cheek with his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he assures. “Do you want to do this or not?”
Glancing down at his lips, you nod, “Yes.”
“I’m all yours then.”
Trent waited until you initiated the kiss. He didn’t want to smash his lips onto yours until you at least made the slightest of movements. And that’s what it was: teeth clashed, mouths hungrily attacked the other, while your hands searched for any ounce of skin they could find. Trent’s touch was still a bit hesitant, but once he felt how much you pushed against him, no longer did he restrain himself.
He palmed your breast, eliciting a gasp as the other hand of his removed your cover up.
“Backseats?” he groaned, feeling the growing tightness of his shorts. He only wanted to pull you on top of him, and finally let you have your way with him like you craved.
“Mm-hmm,” you moan. You detached from him and immediately the both of you jumped out of the front seats and went into the back. Because of all the talking you had done previously, the windows were foggy. And as the night continued, it would get more humid and hot.
Trent met you in the middle, gripping onto your jaw to deeply kiss you. The car was too dark to make out his neck and below, so you had to trace against the ridges of his abs through his shirt in order to find his bulge. He groaned as you made contact, buckling his hips into your palms.
That was all you needed for you to change your mind. You peeled out of his grip while his head fell against the headrest as you squeezed him through his trunks.
His hands were lost in your hair as you tugged his shorts down, he expressed a loud moan once you drew him into your mouth. Even as you continued, he wasn’t quieting down, letting you do whatever you wanted. A small light from the fire landed on his cheek, and it made watching him more serene as he contorted with each suck and brush of your tongue.
“Fuck, I won’t last this round, but I will the next one,” he pants.
You chuckle, feeling his hands go stiff beside you and his hips jolt. His stomach deflates as he spills right into your mouth, watching you try to catch every speckle of him.
As more clothes were discarded throughout the night, he made sure to kiss you in every spot he could, taking his time until he got you to hold him in a whimpering mess. Going back and forth between gentle and rough, increasing his thrusts whenever he knew you were close. He let you ride him for the last round, you bubbling with eagerness once you finally had his thighs underneath yours. Trent’s lips were attached to the skin of your collarbone throughout, his palms kneaded and squeezed the flesh of your butt.
He kept his word and lasted for those two rounds, just now finally pulling out to come in between you two. The car was sticky, the windows dripping with condensation as he pulled you closer to him. Your panting chest rested against his bruised shoulders—love marks and crescent-shaped indents from your nails that nearly drew blood littered his body. Your chest was nearly the same mosaic as his.
Trent planted gentle kisses on your chest and neck, his hands soothing along your thighs and waist. He rested his head against the headrest breathing heavily, you sitting on top of him with a lousy smirk.
That had topped all of your previous sex sessions, Trent was so in tune with what caused a reaction out of you versus what didn’t. He didn’t waste time in trying to find one, only moving on to a different area to kiss, tease, or suck.
“That was really good,” Trent praises.
“Are you surprised?”
“I’m impressed.”
You laugh, kissing his cheek, “I guess you can say I’ve had some practice.”
“Why not practice on me from now on?” he asks.
You narrow your eyes, a smirk forming as your hands rest on the nape of his sweaty neck. Neither of you had dared to move, still needing to somehow clean the mess that ran down the both of you. “What do you mean?”
“We have sex together.”
“Exclusively?”
“Yes.”
Your cheeks flushed, “Are you being serious?”
“Yes. If you’d like.”
You gape, Trent sending a teasing smile as he stared back at your shock. You weren’t opposed, not when your legs were still numb and feeling the aftershocks of what had transpired. “Friends with benefits?”
He nods, holding out his pinky finger, “Friends with benefits.”
“Don’t fall in love with me,” you tease.
“Going to be hard when you have me in a mess like that,” he chuckles, puckering out his lips for a kiss. You give him a peck and then rub your hands against his shoulders. You moving your thighs make the both of you groan at the throbbing feeling.
“Round four?” you joke, but once you look up at him, his eyes already gleam with a darkened haze.
Jokes were on you.
---
Returning to the beach house wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would be, although you did lose your cover up in the process. It was sacrificed to wipe off the mess of you two since you didn’t have a spare towel in the car. Trent’s shirt was black, so you definitely didn’t want that to be stained.
Your legs felt like jello as you made your way to the upstairs, every muscle was sore. Trent was some meters behind, lagging behind and trying to blend in. Your room was the farthest out of everyone’s, per Brie’s request since you were her best friend.
Sneaking Trent inside to the room seemed to be the challenging part. Glancing down from the upstairs balcony, you could see Jude immediately attach to him, asking him where he had gone. Trent shrugs and makes up a lie of grabbing his bag from the car, handing Jude his bag as well.
Once Trent makes it to the bedroom, the two of you share a shower. There isn’t another round of sex, just the two of you giggling with some afterthought shock. His grip never fell from you as the two of you slept that night.
The most unlikely pair.
So when you are the one offering to take Trent back home, everyone looks your way.
“He’s out of your way though.”
“Are you sure?”
You shrug, “It’s fine, I don’t mind it. I know you guys want to get home and all, so yeah it’s okay.”
Perhaps you were trying to convince them a little too much, but they backed down soon after. Trent sent you an appreciative smile from the other end of the kitchen.
Brie wraps her arm around you, “Thank you for doing that.”
What commenced afterward still surprises you. Trent and you continued sneaking around throughout the summer. It was easy hiding it from your friends when they weren’t around, but it was difficult once your university classes started. Study sessions in the library were full of stolen glances, making excuses to leave early only for Trent to follow you afterward.
Anytime the two of you found yourselves sitting next to one another, his hands would be teasing your thigh. You did the same to stir a reaction from him, but he was better at being stoic. Stolen blowjobs, fingering, kissing, and quick sex sessions were common in between hang outs, but it was not only that.
Being with him switched from strictly sex and friendship to something much more than the two of you had yet to acknowledge. There were dates, days he had taken care of you because you felt sick, days you called him over because you wanted cuddles.
He often showed up to your apartment to ask about your day, wanting to spend time with you between his classes and training. You even showed more interest in going to football games that Brie had questioned you about because you seldomly did prior.
It was hard trying to keep the deal to not fall in love with him when he had made many advances. He was still very attentive to you and your concerns.
So when you finally told him about your feelings, you were nervous, expecting him to tease you about losing first but he was taken aback.
“I was getting worried,” he admitted, “I knew I had already fallen and I was waiting for you to let me down easy.” You were wearing his hoodie, a hoodie that you often slept in on the days he didn’t spend the night at your apartment. He was holding you in his lap, eyes full of admiration, “I think I fell in love with you the day at the boardwalk. I know we were only talking about sex, but something about hearing you talk to me without a care of judgment, it made me see you differently. Made me want to hold you and never let you go. You trusted me.”
You wiped the few tears that had fallen and he kissed your tear-stained cheeks when you told him you loved him. That night, making love to him felt so much more meaningful, more exposing than ever before. He had seen all the sides of you the past six months and never dared to run.
Despite officially now being in a relationship, the two of you still kept it lowkey without intending to do so. The two of you had been so used to sneaking glances and small smiles from far, and subtle head nods to signal the want of leaving, that it was difficult transitioning out of.
Still, one day it was going to come to the limelight, you just hadn’t expected it to be on your birthday.
“Oh my god!” Brie screeches. “You’re fucking Trent, aren’t you?”
You choke on the water you had previously chugged, coughing abruptly. Four of your other friends, plus Jude and Trent, stare at you and Brie in the kitchen. They’re only some strides away, lounging on the living room couches. Brie was not at all quiet.
“There’s no way,” one of them comments.
Your cheeks are burning as you resist the urge to look over at Trent to gauge his reaction. They all seemed to be stunned in silence. You wipe your mouth, “What?”
Brie clamps her hand over her mouth and pulls you from your wrist into your own bedroom. Once she shuts the door, she apologizes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to expose the two of you in front of everyone. I couldn’t hold in my shock.”
“It’s okay,” you reason. It was going to come out anyway. “We weren’t trying to hide it.”
She raises her brows, “Not trying to? We never heard a peep, especially me.”
“We weren’t trying to hide it anymore,” you say sheepishly. “How did you find out?”
“I saw a text from you on his phone the other day when we were studying,” she explains. “I didn’t think much of it and didn’t mean to look, but then…I kind of started to notice the way the two of you would look at each other. It was clear something happened and erm, the both of you came to the table with a hickey when it wasn’t there before you both left one day.”
You snort, “I’m really bad at covering those, aren’t I?”
Brie lets out a nervous laugh, “But Trent? How can that be?”
You shrug, “Your summer party, it works wonders.”
“Aww,” she gushes. “He’s a great guy too. I’m glad the two of you finally got closer together. I knew that the two of you would have clicked!”
Brie musters out a laugh as the two of you hug and leave the room to meet the others. Jude and Trent’s figures fall through the door, having had their ears pressed up to the door to listen. You roll your eyes, sending Trent a smirk before standing to the balls of your feet and pulling him in for a kiss.
As the others gawk, you wave them off. Trent’s arms are firm around your waist, not daring to let go. He loved every second of this.
------
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keepyourpantsongohan · 3 months
Text
Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2
Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit
Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!
Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era
"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter
"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait
"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband
"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE
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Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)
"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle
"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss
HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕
Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!
Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen
"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!
LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment
NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE
"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right
"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰
SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:
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"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?
FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily
WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA
I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP
"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders
"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends
I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict
I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all
"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too
HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness
"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN
Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:
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"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers
"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children
"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep
"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya
"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto
Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:
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"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy
"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face
Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts
"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies
[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO
Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care
"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal
Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!
I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:
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"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!
"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think
"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law
"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much
"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!
"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point
Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist
"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗
As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family
I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals
Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!
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"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife
I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service
I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!
"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship
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"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king
[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter
"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say
"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis
Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room
Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act
Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die
"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down
"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?
"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW
A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes
We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor
"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!
Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:
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"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat
I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold
"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis
YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘
[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!
Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO
LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖
"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb
Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk
Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:
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"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA
"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺
Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee
"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!
Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️‍🩹
Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG
Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:
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[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove
"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler
Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO
"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind
"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty
I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life
NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD
I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious
"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else
"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid
I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:
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"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing
"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir
I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes
"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy
Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions
LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog
"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️
[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!
"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor
WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:
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Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW
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roses-for-readers · 9 months
Text
Silent Treatment Part 3 ~ Mansk x Selective Mute Reader
Silent Treatment Masterlist Masterlist
Warnings: Preparing the hexapede for eating (its not describe in detail but it's there), violence amongst the guys, somewhat vulgar sayings
Synopsis: After getting back to the group, Mansk becomes frustrated with uncertainty.
"(Y/n), slow down! What do you mean that Eywa chose me? Chosen for what exactly?"
After the woodspire had left, I was quick to grab the hexapede and started walking back to the others. Mansk was following close behind me, though he had a hard time matching my pace now. I didn't look back at him for sometime, until I finally got tired of his constant questions.
I turn around in frustration, to glare at him. "I don't know!" I see him flinch when my voice raises. I'm not surprised though, I had barely spoken to anyone since my capture so it must have been a shock to hear me yelling at him. Pining my ears back with shame, I look at the ground with a frown. "I don't know. Tsahik could tell you, but I can't."
I hear him walk up to me, only stopping about a foot or two away from him. His voice sounds desperate as he speaks, "So what? I just get to walk around like this never happened? I don't even have a chance to understand any of this?"
Looking back up at Mansk, my heart breaks at the pleading look in his eyes. I set the hexapede down as I focus on him. Letting out a defeated sigh, I place a hand on his shoulder. "I would take you to her if I could, but you wouldn't be welcome. I'm sorry." Mansk looks at the ground as both his ear and tail lower in defeat. He doesn't say anything, clearly upset with another situation that he was forced into. Moving my hand down a bit, I hover my hand over his chest as I lean forward a little. Moving my head so I can look into his eyes, I try to give him a reassuring smile. "Maybe you learn soon on your own. It will be fine."
He gave a small nod at my words, though he still looked a little dejected from my answer. Deciding to help clear his mind a little, I remove my quiver from my body to hand back over to him. He takes it with some reluctance as he puts it back to his waist. Leaning down to the ground, I grab the hexapede again. Making sure to have a strong hold, I lift it up again and start walking back to the camp.
The rest of the walk is quiet, neither of us knowing why the events had happened to us with no way of understanding what it meant. I felt even worse that I couldn't even help him get any answers. Grandmother had tried to show me the responsibility of being Tsahik as I got a little older. Though I had never put much effort into it the lessons she gave me, never really connecting to what she was showing me. In this moment, I wanted more than anything to go back in time and put more effort into her teachings. To learn even just enough to have a small understanding of what Ewya was trying to say. That way Mansk wouldn't feel as lost as he did right now. Maybe I wouldn't have felt as hopeless as I do right now if I had just paid attention.
It didn't take us too long to return to the camp, the group having taken care of a few things after we left. There was a decent sized circle of stones to have a fire along with a pile of wood nearby. Spider was in a tree not that far away, dropping down some of the ripe fruits to a couple of the soldiers. I can tell there are some difficulties with the process of how the fruit reaches the ground. Mostly due to the fact some of the fruits lay on the ground, splattered into pieces on the ground around them. I laugh a little at the scene, glad that they were at least making some improvement as they caught most of the fruit that was still being dropped down to them.
Spider looked over at us as we walked back, a wide grin on his face. I set the hexapede down and walked over to the base of the tree. Tilting my head so I can still make eye contact with him. Though he is a little ways in the air on one of the branches, I can see a small twinkle in his eyes. Giving him a look of suspension while I walk closer. As soon as I'm directly below him, Spider jumps down from the the branch.
Everyone shouts in fear the moment he falls down. I reach my arms out, ready to catch him once he gets closer. The moment his weight tugs at my arms as he lands in my grasp, I pull his body to my chest with a wide grin. Spinning in circles as he dangles in my hold, Spider laughs as the world moves around us. Setting him down, I hold Spider steady as I laugh along with him. Enjoying the fact we had the chance to relive a part of our childhood where Dad would do the same with all of us every now and then when he had a chance.
"What the hell was that?" Everyone turned to face Quaritch. He was practically fuming as he marched over to us. He glared down at Spider as he got right in front of him. "What is wrong with you? Do you understand how stupid that was? Do you want to die from your actions? Because it's seems like you do."
No one said a thing as the Colonel continued to lecture Spider. Though Quaritch was trying to look after the boy, his tone was getting to be harsher than necessary. Spider had started to get a far off look in his eyes as he stared at the ground. The words seemed to be effecting Spider more than he's willing to let on for the soldiers.
Stepping between the two of them, I give Quaritch a pointed look. "Enough." Though only one word is spoken, my tone tells him all the words that need to be said.
He glared at me before moving his gaze back to Spider. Seeing the dejected look in the boys eyes, his ears flicked in what I believe to be either annoyance or understanding. It was hard to tell with his unreadable expression. He let out a small huff, turning to the side. "Next time, think it through all the way."
"Alright. Whatever," Spider's voice is distant when he responds. I turn back to him, placing my hand in between his shoulders. Gently guiding him to where the fire will be set up, I glare at Quaritch when I walk past him. No one's tries to say anything about the situation, focusing instead on picking up the fruit that they had gathered.
Sitting Spider down, I tilt his head up so he has to look at me. Though he still looks down at the ground even as I try to get his attention. A deep frown is on his face, clearly upset by what just happened in front of everyone. I frown along with him, trying to think of a way to make Spider feel better.
A mischievous grin spread across my face when the perfect idea comes to mind. Leaning towards his ear, I speak softly so none of the soldiers can hear. "I can find a large insect and put it on him while he sleeps."
Spider whips his head around with a shocked look on his face. When he sees the seriousness in my face, he begins to grin from ear to ear. "You wouldn't dare do that."
I give a small shrug as I continue to smile as I discreetly point over to a fallen log, slowly starting to decay. I give him a knowing look which causes him to laugh loud enough to draw attention from a few of the soldiers. I push him lightly as I shush him while trying to hold back my laughter as well.
"What are you laughing about over there sweet cheeks?" My tail flicked in annoyance as I heard Lyle's voice sound from close behind us. Turning around, I hiss at Lyle as he walks over to us with Z-Dog and Mansk following close behind.
Spider's speaks quietly as they get closer, not wanting to be overheard, "I'll take care of yours if you take care or mine."
"Deal."
"Oh Lyle, I think she's going to actually kill you this time," Z-Dog pushed him with a teasing smile. They came over to us, sitting down around us. Mansk sits on the other side of Spider while Z-Dog takes her place next to me. She hands me some of the fruit before taking a small bite of her's. I start picking away at the peel before taking a bite myself. Glad to finally have something edible to eat since we got captured.
Lyle laughs a little as he watches me take another bite. "Did you going hunting for one hour really make you that hungry?"
"She hasn't eaten since yesterday you idiot," Mansk pushes Lyle by the head, clearly still pissed from what had happened. I frown softly at the change from his normally calm attitude. Z-Dog is quick to pick up on the change as well, sending me a questioning look.
Lyle seemed to enjoy how touchy Mansk was with his attitude. Deciding to mess with him, Lyle throws his arm over Mansk's shoulder. He leans over and speaks loud enough for the whole team could hear. "What's wrong buddy? Are you just pent up because you have a pretty girl around you all the time and you can't take care of yourself? Do you just need to get laid?"
Mansk is on Lyle before any of us can react. Mansk throws multiple punches at Lyle's face. Z-Dog and I both scramble to separate them as Lyle throws his fist up to defend himself. They both do damage to one another, but Mansk seems to do more due to how angry he is right now.
I manage to grab hold of his arm and secure my grasp on it so he can't throw another punch. Z-Dog got his other arm before pulling him with all her might. I quickly shove him towards her, knowing I wouldn't be able to maintain my hold on his arm if I tried pulling him off. Luckily, Mansk stumbled off of Lyle on the first attempt with the efforts we put in.
The rest of the soldiers had come over as well, standing between the two of them to make sure nothing else happens. Quaritch walks over with his tail flicking in irritation, though his face appears to be blank from any emotion. I get off the ground and stand in front of Spider as a small feeling of unease settles deep within my stomach the closer Quaritch gets.
Quaritch looks between both of his men after they got lifted off the ground. His voice is eerily calm as he addresses everyone, "I'm starting to get really tired of this. This is the second lecture I've had to give in the span of 10 minutes. The first was for the safety of the kid. Now I have two of my best soldiers beating the shit out of each other. Though I can't say I'm too surprised about that." He looks over at Lyle with an expression of displeasure. "Next time you say something like that, I will watch as you get your ass handed to you. And you," he turned his attention to Mansk. "There better not have to be a next time. If you get angry, do something else to let it out. Am I understood?"
Both of them gave disgruntled noises of understanding to their Colonel. Lyle wipes away some of the blood that falls from his nose with a small grunt. Mansk flexes the hand that he used to hit Lyle with, glaring down at the ground. The tension was still there between them, but the words from Quaritch seemed to dissuade them from acting out again.
Spider hesitantly stepped out from behind me, deciding to change the topic away from the two of them. "Maybe we should start preparing the kill so we can cook it. I can show you all how to do it if you want. That way we can eat soon."
Quaritch looked down at Spider, considering his words carefully before giving a small nod. "Alright. Everyone, gather round and pay attention to what the kid shows us."
The soldiers followed Spider and kneeled down around him as he began to explain the proper way to prepare the hexapede. Instead of joining the group, I went over to the circle of stones.
I carefully put some of the firewood everyone had gathered into the center. Then I walk around to gather some dried leaves that had fallen from the trees to put underneath the pile just a little bit. After getting that ready, I look around and to find a couple of smaller sticks just a few feet away. Leaning over to grab them, I set them down close to the pile I had set up. Placing two of the sticks to make a cross, I set them on top of the leaves. Taking hold of the third stick in between the palms of my hands, I place the end against where the twigs intersect. Carefully rubbing my hands back and forth until the first sparks of the fire begin. I only stop once the leaves catch fire and it reaches upward to engulf the rest of the wood.
Sitting back, I watch the fire and make sure that it actually remains lit instead of fading out. Watching as the flames slowly start to consume the wood as it begins to crackle under the heated pressure. A small sense of longing fills my heart as the heat of the fire slowly spreads to the surrounding area.
Glancing over at the group, I smile as I watch Spider carefully go through the motions of getting the hexapede ready for cooking. Some of the soldiers grimace at how detailed the explanation is becoming as they sit there and watch him carefully gut the animal.
Z-Dog put her hand over her mouth and turned her head away from the sight. My brows furrow with concern as I move to kneel beside her. I place a hand on her shoulder as I give her a questioning look. She only gives a small nod of her head before turning back in order to keep watching Spider's movements. I keep my hand on her shoulder, rubbing small circles against the skin as a form of comfort. Knowing deep down that this was still so new for all of them as they weren't raised to live like us. And they all were dealing with it differently from one another.
The next few minutes were spent in silence as we all watched Spider finish up with practiced ease. He was always exceptional when it came to hunting and preparing the prey that the clan had caught. It was one of the few things that had made the clan acknowledge him as more than just the spawn of the demon that destroyed our home long ago. He always took pride in helping with the hunts however he could as he began to grow up.
The moment he finishes, Spider leans back with a triumphant look in his eyes. He looks over to me for a split second, and I give him a small nod of encouragement. Trying to show that I was proud of him for giving an demonstration over something that he had never explained to a group before.
He quickly stands up before looking at the group with a grin. "And that's how it's done. The only thing left to do is to cook the meat. Looks like (Y/n) already got the fire started so that's one less thing we will need to do." He gestured for the soldiers to grab the hexapede as he walked over to the fire pit. "Come on, I'll show you the proper way to cook it."
Almost everyone stands up and follows behind Spider over to the fire. Two of the men who I never got the names of grab the hexapede and move it over so they can begin cooking.
I continue sitting with Z-Dog as she leans her head away from the scent at now hangs in the air. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I encourage her to stand up as I slowly rise to my feet. She follows my lead and gets up after about a minute. I carefully guide her over to the fire so we sit off to the side of the group. None of them seemed to have noticed we joined them after they had sat down. All of them seemed to be focused on Spider's explanation on how to cook the meat.
Mansk seemed to notice our late arrival as he was on the outside of the group. He looked between Z-Dog and me with a flicker of concern in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but Z-Dog bet him to the punch. "I am perfectly fine. It was just an unusual thing to experience. So leave it be."
I let out a quiet laugh at the interaction between the two of them. The dynamic of the whole team seemed to be that of siblings as I began to think about it. The way they fight with one another one moment and then being so caring just a few minutes later. They all practically act the same way that my family acts with one another.
I started to think about my brothers and sisters as I made that realization. Wondering what they might be doing right now and where they might be at this moment. Knowing Dad, he probably moved the family somewhere safe so Quaritch wouldn't be able to find them. I wish I was with them right now, but I know going after Spider was the right thing to do. Who knows what the situation would be like if he was all by himself.
"Hey (Y/n). Are you good?" I turned my attention to Mansk as he spoke. Giving him a slightly confused look, I nod my head to his inquiry. He raised an eyebrow as he continued to look at me. His voice sounded skeptical as he continued to ask, "Are you sure? Because you were pretty out of it for a minute there. Me and Z-Dog were both trying to get your attention."
I become a little flustered when Z-Dog nods her head in confirmation. Looking down at the ground as I shift in my spot to create a little distance between us. I give another small nod in response to his concern about me, though it probably wasn't convincing to either of them.
Mansk dropped the subject though as he reached out to pass me his canteen. I lifted my head a little to give him a thankful look as I take it from his grasp. I take a few sips of water before handing it back to him. Mansk takes it out of my hands before taking a drink himself.
I stare at his hands as he does so, focusing on his knuckles that are finally beginning to scab over from bleeding. A small sense of guilt washed over me as he carefully flexed his hand like he did earlier. Feeling like I had inadvertently caused some of the pent up aggression due to our earlier discussion. I slowly began to wonder if I could have said something different to make him feel a little better about the whole situation.
I begin to replay the fight in my head as a sudden though comes to my mind. Gently tapping Z-Dog's shoulder, I wait until she turns towards me with look that mixed between curiosity and concern. My brows furrowed as I leaned close to her as I began to rethink about what I wanted ask. Taking a deep breath, I spoke quietly so most of the group wouldn't be able to hear, "What does 'get laid' mean?"
Mansk was taking another sip of his water as I asked that. I hadn't know that he had heard me until he started to go into a coughing fit. Z-Dog tried to hold back a laugh as he started to hit at his chest to try and catch his breath. A few of the guys looked over at us with confused glances, but quickly turned there attention back to the fire.
I look between the two of them, unaware of what had caused him to have that type of reaction. Z-Dog let out a small cough to cover up her laugh as she looked back at me. "It's a human phrase, you probably haven't heard it much with how you grew up. It basically means you have sex with someone."
A deep blush rises to my face as I take in the information. Realizing the depth of Lyle's words and now understanding why Mansk had gotten so frustrated by it. I glanced over at Mansk to see him having a bit of a similar reaction. However, he was glaring over at Lyle with enough hatred that I thought he was going to start another fight.
"It's a natural thing for anyone to do. You should not be ashamed of that," I try to make him feel a little better about what had happened. But it is harder to do knowing I had been implicated as the recipient of what Lyle had said. He was definitely going to get it again and some point, and I was going to make sure it was by my doing.
Mansk looked over at me with a mortified expression when he heard what I said. I give a small shrug of my shoulders as I stare back at him. Unsure of how else this conversation might go. Z-Dog clears her throat in order to get our attention away from the awkward moment.
"Okay. That's enough of wherever the fuck this conversation is going. It will be less awkward to just sit in silence and look at the fire as the..." She vaguely gestured over to the hexapede that is particularly finished cooking, "Thing finishes cooking. That way we don't have to talk about anything like that again."
I give a small nod of agreement, turning my attention back towards Spider as he sat on the other side of the fire. Carefully explaining how to tell when the meat is ready to be served. He seemed so confident as he talks about different ways the animal can be used without being wastful of any of the resources.
I smiled a little at how thorough he was being with what exactly he was telling the soldiers. Clearly, he was happy to know more about the ways to live and survive on Pandora than the soldiers. I felt proud for him in turn, knowing he deserved the chance to show off his knowledge to people who would actually pay their full attention to him. The people of the clan normally gave him the bare minimum of their time most of the time. He deserved the attention the soldiers where giving him, even if it was just so they didn't end up dying at some point while they're on this mission.
"You really care about the kid, don't you?" I turn to Z-Dog in confusion at the sudden question. She looks between Spider and me before she continues, "I mean, you could have gotten away when you had the chance. But you willingly let yourself get captured just so you could stay close to him. I guess what I'm actually trying to understand about that is... why did you do it?"
I felt confused at what Z-Dog had asked. I thought of what exactly I was going to say, but nothing seemed to come to mind after being put on the spot. But Z-Dog sat there patiently, waiting for me to find the answer.
Giving a small shrug, I look back towards Spider. "He's family. It was the right thing to do."
The conversation doesn't continue after that point. I keep my eye on Spider as he begins to cut of chunks of the meat to put on some leaves he had gathered. He begins to pass the leaves around to the soldiers one at a time. After everyone else has a leaf, he grabs the last two before he gets up and walks over to us.
He sits down beside me and holds out one of his hands for me to take the meat from him. I give him a smile as I take the food out of his hand. Pinching some of the meat between my fingers, I take the first bite as I look at everyone else to get their reaction of the taste.
A few of them make a face close to discomfort as they chew the meat, but they keep eating it nonetheless. They all just seem to be unused to the texture of it than the taste. Everyone just sits in silence as we all eat as eclipse began to slowly drift across the forest.
The fire cast a gentle glow around the group as we all begin to finish eating. My gaze wander over to Mansk as he shifts around in his spot. His face is softly illuminated by the fire, causing his features to appear gentler than compared to daylight. The soft luminescent specks on his face mixed with his smoothed out features made him look like he was always like this. As if Mansk was born in the Na'vi body that he has.
I didn't realize how long I had been staring until Mansk turned he head over to look at me. We locked eyes for a few seconds before I look away out of embarrassment. Clearing my throat, I look back at Spider with a small grin. He has his eyes squeezed closed as he chews at his cheek. A sign that he was tired and was trying to fight it. Just like when we were all children and my siblings and him would need a nap.
Moving to lay down on the ground, I pull Spider towards me so his head rests on my stomach. He whines a little as he lowers his body with me. Running one hand over his hair, I gently rub his back with my other. Slowly becoming tired with him from the excitement of the day.
"I see our little guides are ready to turn in." Quaritch speaks with a small smirk when he looks over at us. I send him a small glare at his tone of voice, but quickly turn my attention back to Spider. "It's been a long day. Everyone will take a watch for one hour during the night. I'll go first so everyone lay down. You know the order in which you all will go next."
Most of the soldier mumble in understanding as I move to get comfortable. Letting out a sigh, I close my eyes as I hold Spider closer to me. Letting my dream begin to guide me through the night as the forest sings a lullaby for all to hear.
~Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed part 3! I will try to work faster on part 4 to get it out hopefully by mid September. Feel free to request if you want anything outside of this series and I will work on it when I can!
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90s-belladonna · 1 year
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Okay so walk with me I need KiriXReader part 2 for the Sero fic where it's reversed unrequited and Jiro tells him reader used to like him before he chose Mina. I need that fluffangst
The Fantasy I Dreamed Of: Kirishima x Fem!Reader
My first fic back!!! it's inspired by Light by Ateez bc that song is simply too swoon worthy
part 1 (you don't really need to read it tbh)
word count: 4630
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“You probably think I’m a weakling. I promise I’ll be fine soon. I’m so sorry.” I let out in between sobs. Today’s work-study mission has been particularly debilitating. It wasn’t the broken ribs or the bruises covering my body, it wasn’t even the busted lip, those were all things recovery girl had fixed quite easily. The one thing a forehead kiss from the old woman couldn’t fix was my mind. Thankfully Mirko and I had been able to rescue everyone, however, the victims had been women and children, something about seeing children hurt like that had taken a toll on me. I knew I’d be fine, I just needed to let it out. The rabbit hero had noticed my distraught state after the mission as well, only saying I needed to toughen up if I ever expected to make it as a hero. An observation that had only rubbed salt on the metaphorical wound.
“I wasn’t thinking anything of the sort. All I was thinking was that pretty girls should never cry.” His words sounded sincere, and I was sure that if I were to look up I’d be met with his warm gaze. “Maybe she was right, I’m not cut out for this.” was all I could answer with, my mentor’s words still running through my mind. “HEY!” the redhead’s angry voice boomed through the open space. I couldn’t hold myself back and instinctively looked up to see what had caused the sudden shift in his energy. Sure enough, his soft gaze met my teary face.
“Cry as much as you want, in fact, I encourage it, you’re only human after all, but please never talk down on yourself like that again. (name)… you’re amazing. You’re everything.” His voice was breaking, a complete one-eighty compared to his previous brawny voice. I felt the need to defend my own self-loathing, to explain how I was right to believe I was a failure as a hero. “Kirishima I-“ “You’re the best of us. If someone as kind-hearted as you isn’t cut out to be a hero then who the hell is? So cry. Do what you feel you need to do to deal with your feelings but don’t look down on yourself. You’ll be an amazing hero someday, you’ll see. I believe in you.” His voice was still shaky, but his message was clear. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you worry.” I cried out, my eyes filling with tears once more. The glossy look in his eyes made my chest ache. Why do I always make everyone worry? Kirishima is upset because of me…
The boy in front of me instantly became a nervous mess, he searched for something to help wipe my tears with only to find nothing. So he did the only thing he could think of at the moment and took his shirt off and handed it to me. “Here. I just put it on after dinner so it’s clean I promise!” His sweet attempt at comfort made me smile against my will. “I’ll get it dirty… Kiri, I couldn’t.” I explained only for the redhead to shake his head. “Bakubro taught the other guys and me how to do laundry properly so I can wash it. Don’t worry, you need it so use it.” He spoke and flashed a toothy grin my way. 
“You really are the sun huh?” I absentmindedly let out. Kirishima always lit up my days, He was always there to pick me up when I felt defeated, and was always there to share moments of joy with me, how could I not see him as the sun? A bright and powerful light. Maybe Killua was on to something when he said Gon shines so bright that sometimes he had to look away, I understand what he meant perfectly now. “I’ll be whatever you need me to be (name), for as long as you need me to be.” he let out as he took a seat next to me on the large rock I was sitting on. Perhaps I hit my head too hard during today’s fight with the villains, but that sounded like a confession of sorts.
When I skipped dinner and snuck out of the dorms to have some alone time to cry out my feelings I never expected Kirishima to come find me, but then again I should’ve known better. Kirishima was always there to rescue me from myself, like a true hero, my hero. “Did you eat?” I questioned the boy, who seemed surprisingly fine despite his lack of a shirt. “Why? You’re offering to take me out?” He joked causing me to laugh. “Sure Red. But let’s go Saturday, our curfew is soon so we should get back to the dorms so you can eat something.” I reasoned. Yet the way he looked at me with those wide bright eyes could’ve convinced me to stay out with him all night, basking in the moonlight. “Saturday! It’s a date then!” He confirmed with a nervous smile as he stood up and offered me his hand to help me stand up. 
“Fatgum is going to be so mad at you when you show up sniffling to your work-study tomorrow.” I giggled as we walked back to the dorms. “Nah, he adores me! Also, I’m crazy strong I won’t catch a cold you’ll see!” The redhead joked back. “Kiri… you literally have goosebumps on your arms, you dork.” I instinctively ran my hand over one of his arms, hoping the friction from my skin would help warm him a bit. The unexpected action caused him to blush, I figured it was due to the proximity and how out of the blue it was for me to touch him like this. “I’ll be fine. Getting sick isn’t manly.” He defended with a smile. “Sure it isn’t Red.” I whispered back. The whole point of caressing his arm with my hand was so that my body would warm him up, yet why was it my body that felt as if it was on fire?
Minutes went by and we were finally out of the clearing and closer to the dorms. “Those assholes who hurt you better hope they never get out of prison or they’ll have to deal with me.” Kirishima suddenly spoke, his gruff tone distracting me from my thoughts. “Honestly don’t worry about it, it wasn’t that bad, you should see how some of the other heroes and their interns ended up.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at his concern, he was always so sweet. “(name).” He earnestly spoke as he made a sudden stop and turned to look my way. “I’ll always worry about you. I know you’re amazing and can handle yourself, I just hate seeing you hurt. And I hate that someone would lay a hand on you.” his voice was soft and his gaze was piercing as if he could see right through me. 
“It’s part of the job Kiri. I’m going to get hurt sometimes, and so are you, we all will.” I reminded him only for him to shake his head. “Then I’ll work hard as a hero. I’ll work so hard so that villains like those you fought disappear and you never have to get hurt again.” That was all he said, his voice was determined, not a single doubt behind his intentions so all I did was nod. Everyone knew that when Eijiro Kirishima set his mind to something there was no stopping him. I had to get my emotions under control because why the hell was my heart racing because of the way he looked at me? 
Sure enough the following day the redhead was sniffling, although not fully sick it was obvious that it could develop into a cold if he didn’t take care of himself properly. “Wow, you’re really going all out here. Do you think you’ll finish and still make it in time to your work-study?” Jiro asked as she watched me toss some corn in a pot, the last touch for the chicken soup I was making for Kirishima. “Yeah, I’ll be fine Mirko’s agency is nearby anyway.” I spoke as I transferred the tea I had made for him into a thermo. “Wow (name)… what’s all this?” Sero asked as he walked into the kitchen. “Kirishima walked her back to the dorms last night and now she feels guilty that he’s sick so she’s trying to take care of him.” Jiro explained, she was still annoyed at the boy for having broken my heart earlier that year, not that he was aware of my old crush anyway. Thankfully I was over it now and could act normal around him and Mina, I was glad they never found out, their friendship meant the world to me.
Sero gulped, surprised by my attentiveness toward the redhead. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time, I wasn’t aware that he was shocked I could care so much for someone other than him, in the same capacity that I once worried for him. Unbeknownst to me he had recently begun wondering if maybe he and Mina were better off as friends, his mind kept circling back to me and the way I would look at him as if he hung the stars, a look he realized was no longer reserved for him. He was well aware of how toxic it was to want someone else while being in a relationship, especially when the girl he was pinning for was a good friend of his girlfriend. Yet he was selfish, all he needed was a push, a confirmation of my feelings, to fully pursue the relationship his heart suddenly longed for.
“Are you sure Kirishima will be into that?” The ravenette questioned, no real concern in his tone but jealousy filled his heart with every passing minute. “Why wouldn’t he?” Jiro scoffed in defense. “Yeah, why wouldn’t he? He loves food.” I spoke as I turned back to face my two friends. “Well.. you know what he’s like, maybe he’ll think it isn’t manly to be taken care of by a girl. I don’t know.” Sero defended awkwardly causing Jiro to roll her eyes. “Damn. You really know how to hit where it hurts huh Sero.” I replied as I began to second guess my actions and turn the stove off as the soup was now ready. All I wanted was to keep him healthy. “Anyone would love to have (name) take care of them, she’s the loveliest!” Jiro defended, a scowl taking over her usual indifferent demeanor. “Hey no that’s not what I mean I was just… you know bringing up how Kirishima might not be into that!” The sable-eyed boy argued as he placed his hands up in defense.
“Be into what?” The redhead asked as he walked into the kitchen area, his blonde best friend standing next to him. “(name) made you tea and soup so that you won’t get sicker. Sero here thinks you won’t think it’s manly to be taken care of by a girl.” Jiro explained as she gave the ravenette a death glare. “That’s ridiculous. Shitty hair loves food, and (name) is the one who sucks the least at cooking out of all you extras!” Bakugo defended causing me to smile. “Katsuki you like my cooking?” I asked out loud, excited at the compliment from the grumpy boy. “SHUT UP!” the blonde yelled back, but I could see the blush on his cheeks. “(name), thank you. You didn’t have to but I appreciate it, I’ll make sure to finish everything!” the beaming redhead assured, only to correct himself when the blonde next to him cleared his throat. “We’ll finish everything I promise!” With his toothy smile in full display, Kirishima sure was lovely these days, or maybe he always was.
“Why would you worry her, that’s not cool.” Jiro asked Sero, truly appalled by his weird behavior, usually he was the most laid back and understanding out of their friend group. He and I had always been the best of friends who constantly encouraged one another so she couldn’t understand why he was being so negative with this situation, and honestly neither could I. “I was just looking out for (name)’s feelings, but I’m glad it all worked out.” He clarified, only to be met with a sadistic chuckle from Bakugo and a scoff from Jiro. “You don’t have to worry about (name)’s feelings. That’s what you’ve got Mina for. I’ll take care of (name) and whatever she’s feeling.” Kirishima spoke as he gave Sero a stern look, the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. “It smells amazing! Is (name) cooking?” Denki asked as he too entered the kitchen. “Not for you dunce face!” Bakugo growled causing me to laugh. 
An hour later I was dashing out of the dorms in my hero costume, eager to get to Mirko’s agency, only to be stopped by someone grabbing my wrist and turning me to face them. I was instantly met with none other than the loveliest ruby eyes. “Let me walk you?” Kirishima pleaded. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the knitted sweater and scarf he was wearing on top of his hero costume. “You covered up?” I wondered as I took in the complete difference in appearance. “Yeah, our date is tomorrow so I didn’t want to risk getting sick and having to miss it. I’ll have to take off the sweater for patrol but I wanted to try and be in my best health for you.” He admitted. I couldn’t fight the smile back that was caused by his confession. I wasn’t sure what we were yet but I was certain of one thing. Kirishima… he likes me… and I like him.
“I- umm” I shook my head, unsure of how to respond, my body felt as if it were on fire, but it was a surprisingly comforting feeling. “Fatgum’s agency is on the complete opposite side of Mirko’s.” I stated, my eyes never leaving his. I noticed his smile drop a bit, and realized he must’ve thought I was rejecting him. “But… we should walk together as much as we can, and maybe once our patrols end we could… I don’t know text each other and meet up to walk back to the dorms… together?” My suggestion seemed to do the trick as his eyes went wide again as he nodded in agreement and interlocked our fingers. Once again my body was on fire, a feeling I was beginning to enjoy. It was warm, just like the moments we shared.
unbeknownst to me someone else had overheard our conversation and was left wondering how things could have shifted so much and when this development began. Sero had been convinced I held feelings for him so he couldn’t for the life of him understand why I now looked at Kirishima, not like he hung the stars but as if he were the center of the universe, my own personal sun. He felt betrayed by his jealousy, we were his friends so he should be happy for us right? and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened had he realized his feelings earlier. 
When Saturday finally rolled around the onyx-eyed boy watched in jealousy as Kirishima and I left for our date, he couldn’t help but grow even more spiteful as all our friends complimented us for finally getting together, he couldn’t help but wonder how different everything would be if that was him holding my hand instead of the redhead. Sero hated himself, for being a shitty friend, for being a shitty boyfriend, for being jealous instead of happy for us, and most of all for being too late in figuring out his feelings. He had concluded that the way I looked at him was just because he was my one of best friends not because I held any romantic feelings for him. He felt like an idiot for assuming I ever liked him, especially after seeing the way I looked at Kirishima, it truly did not compare to any of the ways I ever looked at him, that’s what finally made it click for him. He was filling his mind with nothing but fantasies.
“What the hell is your problem? You can’t at least act like you’re happy for our friends?” Jiro questioned the ravenette moments after Kirishima and I left and everyone else had dispersed. “Kirishima has been in love with her for so long, and she looks so happy. Sero you’re normally so cheery what’s going on?” Momo asked as she tried to diffuse the tension, it was obvious to her that Jiro was close to snapping. She and Momo had been the only two I made aware of my crush on Sero earlier that year, however, Kirishima and Bakugo had figured it out on their own as well at some point. Jiro had held a grudge towards Sero ever since he started dating Mina, she wanted to be happy for her friend but she saw that the boy’s feelings were purely superficial and that he was confusing a friendship connection with a romantic one. She also hated the way he had made me cry, even if he wasn’t aware that he had broken my heart. 
“You’ll hate me if I tell you.” was all the boy managed to say as he walked out the front door. Clearly, the answer wasn’t good enough for Jiro as she chased after him. “ I promise you nothing could make me hate you more than I do right now.” She said as she grabbed him by the shoulder, effectively stopping him from walking away. “I like her okay! I tried to fight it off. I did. But it’s impossible not to fall in love with (name)… she’s amazing.” he finally admitted. Jiro was well aware of his feelings as she had always been great at reading people, she just wanted to hear him finally admit it to himself out loud. “and what about Mina?” she questioned, still concerned for her other friend’s feelings. “I love her, she’s gorgeous and she makes me laugh and she makes me so happy. I just… I think I love her like a friend after all. There was always something that (name) possessed that lured me in but I ignored whatever it was because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and Mina she was just like me and insanely beautiful so I thought maybe I liked her and was just confused by (name) because I’d never been such good friends with a girl before her. Ever since Mina and I started dating I’ve realized it was the other way around. Now I’m more confused than when this whole thing started. I just… I don’t want to hurt either of them but I can’t help being selfish.” He finally admitted through teary eyes.
Jiro couldn’t help but sigh, she knew this was coming. “Don’t expect me to feel sorry for you.  Mina and (name) are both too good for you, you’re an idiot for playing with their feelings like that. But you’re still my friend so I’ll give you some friendly advice. (name) used to like you, yet she still helped you with Mina because she valued your feelings and friendship above her own, she was never selfish with you so you need to be a good friend and be happy for her. She finally found someone who loves her for who she is, she deserves to have one of her best friends in the entire world be supportive, that’s you, idiot. Stop being selfish and tell Mina what you’re feeling too, maybe you can work on it as a couple or just break up and find people better suited for you two. Either way, stop treating other people’s feelings like toys.” Her revelation had caused Sero’s eyes to widen. He’d finally realized that all along what he wanted was within reach yet he pushed that possibility away all on his own. “I’ll be a good friend from now on.” Was all he said as his mind began to race about all the wasted possibilities of a future with me, a future where he could’ve been the one to go on dates with me, the one to hold my hand, and the one I looked at with absolute adoration. 
“I invited you out, I should’ve paid.” I argued as we walked back to the dorms. We had been out since noon and now it was nearing our curfew. Time seemed to fly by when I was with Kirishima, life felt lighter and brighter when I found myself in the company of the beaming boy. “nonsense, a lady should never pay on a date. My moms would kill me if I let you spend a single cent on me.” The boy answered with a chuckle. “Smart ladies.” I quipped back. “Yeah, they’re the best!” The smile never left his face, he truly was the sweetest boy ever. His thumb caressed my knuckles as we held hands once again. The sign of affection had quickly become something we did instinctually as if our bodies longed to be together. 
“Are you free tomorrow?” He wondered out loud. “mmm… I’m going shopping with the girls early in the morning but I should be back a little after two. Why?” I answered as I turned to face him. Even in the moonlight, he shines so brightly.  “I thought maybe we could take a walk by the zen gardens. The plum blossoms are in full bloom so I wanted to take some pictures of you with them. I know it sounds kinda cheesy bu-“ “It’s a date!” I eagerly interrupted him, just glad he wasn’t sick of me yet. He looked at me once more with ecstatic wide eyes and raised brows, the excitement evident on his face. There was a certain comfort and warmth in knowing someone you liked also liked you. 
As we entered campus my heart couldn’t help but ache at the thought of having to say goodnight, Kirishima’s presence was addicting, I wished to bask in it forever. “I don’t want today to end. It feels like a dream.” The boy suddenly said, almost as if he could read my mind. My (color) eyes once again found themselves meeting his ruby ones. The intensity caused me to take a deep breath, he was perfect. His shimmering gaze was suffocating in the best possible way. He was simply captivating. “Eijiro Kirishima. You’re the fantasy I dreamed of for so long. Be my boyfriend.” I absentmindedly let out. I think he also realized I didn’t mean to say that out loud due to the shock on my face when I realized what I had just asked and the way he had let go of my hand and stopped walking altogether.
“Of course. I’ve always been yours (name), you’ve been my starlight for so long. No one else even exists to me.” The sincerity behind his eyes couldn’t be feigned, the way his voice carried so much weight I knew there was no doubt in his mind that this is what he wanted, that I was what he wanted. “I’m sorry for asking you out I’m sure it wasn’t very manly to be asked out by a girl.” I couldn’t help but let my insecurities get in the way I handled the situation shine through, it was a flaw I was working on. However, Ejiro just shook his head. “Nah. What’s unmanly is waiting around and taking forever to ask you out simply because I was too nervous that you might say no. What you did was very manly. I’m happy, next time I’ll be the one to take action so that you won’t have to I promise!” The boy beamed once again before wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing my forehead. He had a way of making the smallest bits of affection feel as if they were part of a fairytale. 
As we made it back to the dorms we still couldn’t find ourselves parting so he decided to walk me to my room despite his being on a different floor. Neither of us wanted our time together to end. It was like in Cinderella as if once the clock struck midnight everything would disappear. I knew better though, and so did he but we’d been apart for so long that now that everything was out on the table we couldn’t help but want to be together as much as possible. However, we both powered through it and he walked me to my room and kissed my hand before hugging me goodnight. 
About half an hour had gone by when I heard a knock on my door. I figured it was one of the other girls needing to borrow a product they might’ve run out of, only to be met with none other than  Kirishima on the other side of the door. “Kiri? Did you forget something in my purse?” I asked the redhead as I looked back inside my dorm to see if I could spot the purse I had used earlier that day. “uh no I just…” He nervously started, his hand reaching for my face, caressing my cheek causing me to meet his ruby eyes once more. “I love you (name). I don’t think I could sleep well tonight if I didn’t tell you.” he explained. His confession had been sudden but still filled me with joy, love was a powerful word but I knew that he meant it and all the weight it held from the way he looked at me.
“Kirishima…” I started, only to be interrupted by him. “You don’t have to say it back. I know it’s soon so you might not still feel that way about me but I needed to tell you. I want to be honest with you about where I stand.” He explained, although I could tell he did want something. “I acknowledge your feelings. I’m not sure If I’m there just yet, but I think I could be in the future.” I thought perhaps my honesty would defeat him but instead, he flashed his bright smile my way. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll wait as long as it takes. No pressure really!” He explained once more. 
“Kiri, that’s not it right? What else is it you needed?” I wondered as I could sense something else was making him nervous. “You know me too well. I was wondering if maybe… May I kiss you?” pink began to dust his cheeks, as if he also wasn’t expecting to ask me such a daunting questing. However, I didn’t have to give it a second thought so I just nodded in consent. Almost instantly I felt the hand that had been caressing my cheek travel towards my hair and his free hand pull me by the waist as his lips crashed against mine. Strangely enough, the kiss made me feel protected as if nothing could ever hurt me. His lips were surprisingly soft and the kiss was sweet, reminiscent of the taste of vanilla. Time seemed to freeze. Yet I knew if our kiss went on any longer it would border on a make-out session. Although his intensity had me tempted. “Goodnight starlight.” He whispered as soon as he pulled away, giving me a final kiss on the forehead before walking away. My heart was beating out of my chest knowing no one would ever compare to Eijiro Kirishima, not a single fairytale could have prepared me for him.
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☆ Master List
☆ Oneshots
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lostinwoso · 2 years
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It's You (Alexia x Reader)
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A/N: Made out of request 1 & 2. Hope you have a great day!
It's hard to point out when exactly the relationship between you and your girlfriend turned so sour.
You two met at a bar where you and your team celebrated the win against your rival Real Madrid.
She approached you and invited you to a drink, which later turned into a few more drinks, with the conversation between you flowing easy.
Throughout the whole evening you two talked, joked and just enjoyed each other's presence, so when the time to leave came around you two exchanged numbers, agreeing to arrange a date sometime soon.
One date turned into a second and so on, soon you made things official with each other and everything was going amazing.
That was almost 8 month ago.
You two decided to move in together 2 months ago, and that's around the time when things shifted between you.
It started off with her getting annoyed whenever you told her you would be out meeting up with Alexia.
Alexia and you became friends immediately after you joined Barcelona 3 years ago. She helped you settle in with showing you around and explaining the play style, even offering to stay longer with you after training to make sure you are on the same level as everyone else on the team.
So friends turned quickly into best friends, spending a lot of time together, seeking each other out when comfort is needed and so on, but that's all it was between you both, a close friendship.
That's why it took you by surprise when your girlfriend confronted you the first time about you possibly having feelings for your best friend. You never saw Alexia that way, of course you thought she was an amazing woman but after building a friendship that quick, it didn't even occur to your mind that there could be something more between you two.
You denied it, of course, but she never seemed to really believe you when you said that. Even stating that she is sure that Alexia has feelings for you, which again took you by surprise because from your point of view she never showed signs she could be into you.
From that moment on you two could barely go one day without fighting, she always seems to find a way to start an argument, and you couldn't just let it go. You couldn't understand why she was so jealous and wouldn't trust you.
So here you are standing in the living room fighting once again over a stupid topic with your girlfriend.
"Why does she have to hug you in front of all these people, huh?!" She angrily screams at you.
"It's normal to celebrate a goal! In case you didn't notice, but the other girls hugged me too!" You say annoyed but trying not to raise your voice too much.
She completely ignores the second part of your answer and follows up with "I don't care what you say, you know I don't like it when you are that close to her!" at this point, it seems like she keeps getting angrier at every word that's being spoken.
"She's my best friend! And it was a simple hug, I don't understand what the issue is here! Like I said, it was a normal goal celebration!" You answer, voice now rising a bit more.
"Yeah right, hugging on field and as soon as you were off you probably screwed each other!" She screams right back, completely blinded by anger and jealousy.
You were taken aback, yes she was jealous and accused you that there were feelings between you two, but never accused you of cheating on her before.
Hearing her say that hurt you, because cheating was never an option for you, you despise it and having it being thrown at you hurts you more than you thought it would.
Letting out a defeated "Wow.", you take your keys and jacket before leaving the apartment.
____________________________
You found yourself at Alexia's door. Even though almost all of your fights seem to be around her, she is still your first destination when being upset. After all, she is your best friend.
Your mind is running, replaying the words she threw at you during that argument, not getting over the fact that she really thought you would stoop so low and cheat on her with your best friend. You didn't even notice the tears that starting falling down your cheeks.
The door opening breaks you out of your thoughts, Alexia smiles when she realizes it's you standing there, the smile quickly fades tho when she sees the tears running down your face.
Pulling you inside her flat she immediately takes you in her arms holding you tight, "What happened? Did you two fight again?" She asks, clearly concerned.
All you did was simply nodding your head before you started sobbing, the tension that was pent-up from all the fights over the past months, finally breaking, you needed to let it all out.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't know where to go." you say with a low voice, scared you might destroyed any plans she could have had before you arrived.
That just concerned her even more, she knew about the fights between you and your girlfriend, but you were never that upset before and showing up unannounced was something neither of you ever apologized before.
"Hey, it's okay, I got you." Is all she says in return before pulling you to the couch trying to calm you down.
____________________________
The next morning you woke up to the smell of coffee, sitting up you look around confused before realizing that you are in Alexias living room.
As if she knew you woke up, she came in with two steaming mugs in her hand, you pull the blanket off of you before accepting one of the mugs she held out to you.
"Thank you." you muttered before taking a sip.
"Of course" she replies before taking a sip herself, keeping an eye on you as you kept your eyes on the coffee in your hand.
"How are you?" she asks you with a soft voice.
Letting out a sigh, you put your mug on the small table in front of the couch, "Honestly? I've been better." you state.
"Do you want to talk about what happened? I have never seen you that upset before." she says, carefully.
"I'm sorry, it has just been so much lately, all we do is fight, and her accusing me of cheating on her yesterday was apparently the last straw. I just couldn't hold my emotions anymore." you tell her, it was obvious that you were still upset about what happened yesterday.
Alexia was angry, she can't believe that your girlfriend really accused you of cheating, everyone who knew you knows that it's something you wouldn't even dream of doing.
Honestly, Alexia can't stand your girlfriend, in the beginning she was happy for you finding someone but after the fights between you started happening more often and always having to comfort you in some way she couldn't help but start to dislike her.
"She did what?! How does she even come up with something like that? Who would you even cheat with her on?!" She speaks clearly angry about the words that your girlfriend said to you.
You stayed silent for a second, debating if you really want to tell her the truth, you never told her that the topics of your fights involved her being friends with you, not wanting her to feel bad or worse loosing her.
"You." Is all you say.
"Me?" She replied confused.
So you started talking, explaining to her what the fights are always about. Your girlfriend thinking that she likes you and vice versa. You simply let all out, feeling better when you were done.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that happened. But it's not healthy, you know?" She says, taken aback by the information you just dropped on her.
"You have nothing to be sorry about!" you quickly point out. "It's not your fault, I just don't know why she behaves that way... and yes, I do know it's not healthy." you say defeated.
"Maybe you should talk it out with her and if it ends badly again, you can stay here in the spare room for a while." she offers you.
"You are right and thank you." you reply with a sigh.
After you both finished your coffee and had some light breakfast, you make your way home to your shared apartment.
Little do you know that your girlfriend is right, Alexia does have feelings for you, she just never knew how to approach you.
____________________________
Making your way in, you take off your shoes before looking for your girlfriend. You find her sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee.
"Hey." you quietly greet her.
"Hi." she replies shortly before getting back to drinking her coffee.
Letting out a sigh, you make your way over, "I think we should talk."
Turning her attention to you, she states, "We should, I want you to choose."
Eyes widening you speak surprised "What? Choosing what?"
"Between her and me." she declared.
You just stand there for a minute, again, totally taken back by the words she spoke.
"She is my best friend!" You exclaim upset.
"So it's her, then? You are choosing her over me?" She replies angry.
"You know what? If that's really what you want, then yes, it's her. She is my best friend and if you can't come to accept that her and I will always be friends, then it is her that I'm choosing." You say defeated, but still with a sure voice.
Letting out a dry chuckle, "I knew it." she muttered, "and you say there was nothing, of course."
Before you could answer, she followed up, "I want you to leave. Take your stuff and get out of here."
Deciding to not say anything, you pack your stuff and make your way out of the apartment.
____________________________
You accepted Alexia's offer of staying with her after the break-up until you find yourself an own apartment again.
It's almost a month since you have been living together, and you honestly never felt happier. Of course, you were upset and hurt by the break-up, but Alexia did her best to cheer you up and help forget her.
A concern of yours was that the friendship between you two might get strained a bit by suddenly living together and causing problems, but after the month spend together, you can say that it's definitely not the case.
It actually made your bond even stronger, and it also made you see her in a different light.
You suddenly noticed how beautiful her laugh is, how truly beautiful she looked on field and off field and how bright her eyes are when she talks something she is passionate about.
Of course, she was beautiful in your eyes since you two met, but spending more time together, closer than ever, made you put more mind into it. And that's where you slightly panic, it couldn't be true, right? You are not really falling in love with your best friend, right?
____________________________
It's been a little over two months now, the search for an own apartment seems to get slower every day, almost like the both of you don't really want you to leave.
You loved the daily movie nights, going to training and leaving it together, having her by your side when you are eating and giving her company when Nala has to get out.
The two of you are currently walking through the park after eating at a restaurant. A tradition that formed quickly after living together, you two would try out a new restaurant every week and keep a list of them where you write down your opinions and if it's worth visiting again.
There is a comfortable silence surrounding you two, when she speaks up "She is right you know?"
Not understanding who or what she was referring to, you let out a confused "Who? And right about what?"
"Your ex." she responded, following up with, "I do have feelings for you."
Both of you have stopped walking by now, facing each other, you scan her face to see if she really just meant what she says. She does the same to you, but looking for a sign of you, hopefully returning her feelings.
"You... you do?" you blurted out, not believing what she just said.
Taking it as a sign that you were not sharing the same feelings, she starts rambling "Yea but uh it's okay if you don't feel the same."
That's where you slowly wake up from your stupor, "Ale" you say.
"No really we can just forget I said anything and go back to how it was." she keeps on rambling out in a fast way.
"Alexia."
"Maybe we should head back now, it's late and..."
"I like you too. " You announced.
That put a stop to her rambling, staring at you in surprise and disbelief over the words you just said.
There is a silence between the both of you before she decides to step closer to you, "Can I kiss you now?" she whispered.
"Please do."
Both of you lean in, as soon as your lips touched you feel butterflies in your stomach.
The first kiss was short-lived, pulling away to see each other reaction, after you both made sure that it is what you want you two lean in again.
This kiss was longer and more passionate, the two of you putting all your emotions into it.
When air became a problem, you pulled away, biting her lip during it.
"You can't do that, especially not here." she states, still dazed from what just happened.
"Why not?" you reply in a teasing tone.
"I might have to show you later, but for now we have a movie waiting for us at home." she exclaims before taking your hand and start walking again.
____________________________
The movie is still playing when you suddenly blurt out "It's You.".
She looks your way, "It's Me?" obviously confused by your random words.
"Yea, You. You were the right choice. You are there for me no matter what, you are always the first person I seek out when something happened or who I want to share news with. Not only that, but you are the person that always makes me feel comfortable and happy with who I am. I can't believe it took me that long to realize that it always has been and always will be you." you explain.
Overwhelmed with what you just said, she simply pulls you into a kiss, showing all her emotions she can't put into words right now.
The kiss full of emotions turns quickly into a make out session, once again biting her lip when pulling away.
"I thought I told you that you can't do that" She comments, eyes a bit darker now.
"What are you gonna do about it?"
"Oh, you will see." she exclaims before pulling you to the bedroom.
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swallowtailed · 2 months
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palisade 44
it’s so fun to watch the finale get built out. we’re back to the mirage!!!!! we’re in it!!!!!!!!!!!
solid arc to this episode. lots to chew on.
really liked the final beat of righteousness and mourning’s conversation—paraphrasing, but, “you came to me because you knew i’d agree.” “perhaps i did.” “i’ll back it if you give me command.” “done.” “done.” it’s especially good in the context of those same two people later being so reluctant to trust gucci to use clem. something about… being willing to make deals yourself that you think are too risky for others. individuals playing private power games in service of utopia.
keith raised a great point re what the principality even means to the bilats inside the mirage. the thing i’ve been turning over since last week is what this is like for members of the cause who just got slurped into the mirage. like, when you get to see the utopia (“utopia”) you’ve been protecting sight unseen for a year, and now you have the choice between living there for the rest of your life or spending years leaving, what… do you do? how do you value the fight outside? how do you value the chance to stay when you were never supposed to get to see the mirage in the first place? fuck.
hey speaking of mirage folks HOW ABOUT DRE’S NEW PC
levitation “levi” cascabel-gardner. wow i love this kid. i can’t wait for him and cori to meet. (like, has he heard of cori?? does he just know of the devotees as that weird religious cult??)
he is absolutely extremely mirage
there is a certain kind of suspension of disbelief required when a new character is joining the party and it just doesn’t play that well when taken seriously. with that said, clem was always gonna be a tough sell. like, a really tough sell.
i am not really interested in clem coming back in, tbh. we know her problems pretty well by now—doesn’t feel like there’s much more to say. she’s been defeated several times over. beat her to death with hammers already.
what does intrigue me is the blue channel interpersonal drama aspect. the reflexive kesh noble infighting is excellent, as is clem and gucci having weird tension and brnine finding out about the deal and getting upset. also very much looking forward to whatever conflict cori and clem are gonna have.
and also the drama in the way of… sometimes clementine kesh survives and your friends don’t, and you have to deal with that. grief has become really essential to this season.
so we’ll see, i guess! i feel like i say that a lot in these posts. but actual play is such a fluid way to build a narrative. hard to say what’s gonna be interesting in another two episodes.
other things i enjoyed in this episode: mustard red sidebar, brnine and gucci’s texts, levi’s feather covered poncho, jesset immediately vibing with levi, mourning’s comprehensive gossip intel, “a broken clock kills the right person twice a day”
kept hearing “mourning” and thinking “morning’s”. miss that guy
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gatheringbones · 1 year
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[“Ideally, empathy is the current that flows between two people in a close relationship, helping us to feel less alone, reassuring us that we are loved and understood. But sometimes, sad to say, empathy can be a trap, and never more so than in a gaslighting relationship. Your very ability to offer empathy—and your own need to receive it—can make you prone to the Gaslight Effect.
Katie, for example, was one of the most empathic people I had ever met. She seemed remarkably tuned in to what all her loved ones were feeling, able to imagine with remarkable accuracy how any given event might affect them. When she asked me to reschedule an appointment, she apologized for inconveniencing me in a way that showed me how aware she was of my needs as well as her own. I could see how this quality would make her an excellent friend and partner. But I also saw how Katie’s empathy made it hard for her to choose her own worldview over that of her boyfriend. “I can see how upset Brian gets when I chat with the guy at our deli,” she’d say. “It’s as though he’s afraid I’ll leave him and never come back. I feel so bad for him when I see how scared he is. I can’t stand it.”
Katie often got so caught up in her boyfriend’s fear that she forgot her own perceptions about what happened during that chat and what it meant. She was so compelled to see things from Brian’s point of view that she lost sight of her own perspective. Unfortunately, Brian didn’t extend the same empathy. He appreciated Katie’s response; her depth of understanding was part of the reason he was so attached to her. But he didn’t respond in kind. Rarely, if ever, did Brian think, “I see how pleased Katie is when someone smiles at her—it makes her feel happy and secure” or “I see how upset Katie gets when I yell at her—how unsafe she feels, how uncomfortable.” Most of the time, Brian was aware only of his own needs and feelings. Indeed, from his point of view, to focus on Katie’s feelings would be to give up his own. Acknowledging that she might feel differently than he did was like admitting that his feelings were invalid. He couldn’t empathize with her without feeling defeated, as though he had given up all hope of having his own point of view understood and respected.
Brian may have genuinely lacked the ability to imagine another person’s feelings. Or he may have feared his own capacity for empathy, seeing it as a quality that might defeat him. Indeed, when I saw them briefly in couples counseling, he said, “I don’t see why I have to see it her way all the time—it’s never my way! And every time I see it her way, I end up giving in.”
In this gaslighting dynamic, then, Katie’s empathy created a kind of trap. She wanted to see her boyfriend’s point of view, but he didn’t want to see hers. When they argued, she gave a lot of room to his side of the argument, while he never gave any ground to her. When they argued, she gave a lot of room to his side of the argument, while he never gave any ground to her.
Empathizing with Brian made Katie feel sensitive and loving. But when Brian was asked to empathize with Katie, he felt weak and defeated. Meanwhile, Katie’s compulsive empathy led her to disregard her own feelings and perceptions in her effort to see things as Brian saw them. Katie didn’t only give empathy, though; she desperately wanted to receive it—along with the approval she wanted so badly, after all, that approval was the only way she could prove to herself that she was a good, loyal girlfriend instead of the flirtatious, disloyal woman Brian had insisted she was. Her need for Brian’s empathy and approval was so great that it threatened to overwhelm her ability to think clearly.
Longing for Brian to see her point of view and to approve of her, she found it very difficult to tolerate their disagreement. For her, love meant total understanding and unconditional acceptance—nothing less—and without that love, Katie felt that she would be completely worthless, abandoned, and alone. This desperate need for approval, understanding, and love kept Katie continually open to Brian’s gaslighting.
I once asked Katie if she could accept the fact that her boyfriend would never be able to grasp why being friendly and open meant so much to her. Maybe he could stop insulting her, I suggested. But he might continue to think differently.
Katie’s jaw dropped. “But Brian loves me,” she protested. “He’d do anything for me.”
“Maybe so,” I responded. “But feelings and acts of love are not the same things as understanding. Sometimes we love people without being able to feel what they’re feeling. Sometimes we don’t approve of someone’s actions, decisions, or opinions, even within a loving relationship.”
Katie stared at me as though I were speaking Greek. “That’s not love,” she said finally. “If you love someone, you understand them; you feel what they feel. And you think they’re wonderful! And Brian does see me that way—just not all the time.” She went on to recount the time she came home from work exhausted and he gave her a foot rub—a story she had told me several times. “He knew just what I needed—and he gave it to me!” she would repeat with every retelling. “That was when I knew how much I meant to him—and how he would always take care of me.” That memory was so precious to Katie that she was willing to endure Brian’s insults and yelling in the hope of someday recapturing those few special moments when she was able to imagine that he “understood” her and would always be there for her.”]
robin stern, the gaslight effect
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new-ninjago · 2 years
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IF YOU LOST YOUR POWERS [ COLE, KAI + JAY ]
cole brookstone
he tries his best to make you feel better, even though he’ll likely be hard on himself about the whole thing.
"don't worry [name], we'll definitely get your powers back."
literally comes at your beck and call afterwards all the time.
also continues to spar with you, he's always one of the first to step up ( though you have to tell him to stop going easy on you ).
he's super bent on finding the guy who stole them; pixal has to tell him to be patient because she's diligently searching for any trace of the villain.
but when the said droid does confirms eyes on him ー everyone's ready for action.
cole and you literally almost argue because he refused for you to come </3 you still went though
nontheless, the villain was made quick work of and you tried to activate your powers ..
they worked!
you pecked cole on the cheek after the mission, grateful for his support.
"thanks for believing in me cole :)"
he's totally blushing and stuck in place; holding his cheek.
you mightve broke him tbh
kai smith
he's angry that he was right in front of you and watched it happened.
he's angry that the guy got away.
but most of all, he's angry at himself because it should've been him, and now you were going to be powerless, for who knows how long.
you can see the guilt in his eyes, so you console him. or rather, you say:
"it wasn't your fault, kai. don't blame yourself for a villains actions."
and with that, he tries his best to do so.
gets upset at anyone who asks if you're still a ninja even with your lack of power. ( "of course they're still a ninja, they've protected ninjago countless times!" )
and when they finally run into the said bad guy again?
he's so happy to write his wrong ong
but even whilst being powerless, you managed to deal the final hit!
thankfully, defeating them seemed to return your powers. but overwhelmed with giddiness, you're quick to hug kai.
he squeezes back, exclaiming the great news like an excited toddler.
plus a free kai hug™? so lucky oml
jay walker
jay's afraid that he'll say something completely stupid or insensitive, so he's simply quiet when it first happened.
but he's there for you, ready for you to lean on him whenever you please.
he even offers you to go on patrol with him sometimes ー perhaps trying to prove nothings different, that you're still a part of the team.
"we've all lost our powers at some point; i'm sure you'll get yours back, too."
jay doesn't use his powers as frequently around you unless necessary. poor guy is doing it without being aware :(
you're both in the middle of playing video games when the villain decides to strike.
jay ends up fumbling with his remote; taken off guard by the alarms going off in the monastery.
"i'm going" "absolutely notー" ( the others have to tell you to hurry up otherwise they'd escape )
needless to say, you were victorious and the blue ninja simply decided he'd have to protect you if anything happened.
the last hit came down to you while everyone was trying to fend for themselves due to the enemy activating your powers for themself.
you straight up uppercutted them and everyone was in shoCK.
jay whooped and babbled about how cool you were during the said moment
"oh my first spinjitzu master. [name], you should've seen yourselfー!!"
in that moment of excitement, he hugs you super tight ( "did it work? did it work?" "do you have them back?" )
and when you activate them with a grin, he nearly cries
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spotty-is-slumberous · 8 months
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Was playin’ on my Clangen save and suddenly had EMOTIONS about two of the family members of the previously mentioned Quietfin…
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“W-why doesn’t she love me?”
Raincrawl felt his heart shatter as he approached Hushpaw, who he had noticed slipping out of camp and set after to follow him. He had assumed it was the young cat taking advantage of his newfound freedom after his injuries had healed, and had fully been prepared to tease the younger tom while guiding him back… He hadn’t been expecting to find his self-assured, rough-pawed nephew hunched over, sobbing quietly to the night, and then to his uncle once he had noticed his presence.
“... I’m… Assuming this is about Quietfin?” He asked softly, moving closer on unsteady paws. The burns he had suffered a few moons prior were still painful, parting his pale fur with angry marks that ached whenever someone so much as breathed on them. It upset Asterbounce endlessly, and she was usually lurking around the medic’s den as of late, learning how to make paste to soothe her mate’s pain.
Hushpaw let out a bitter laugh. “Who else?” He hissed, bitterness coiling across his tongue, though it was interrupted by another sob that wracked his body. Raincrawl pressed against his side, feeling his throat tighten as the dark-furred apprentice immediately curled into his side. “I-I just-! I don’t understand… I try so hard to be good, and brave, and strong, so she’ll look at me, b-but-!”
Raincrawl sighed softly, lowering himself - and Hushpaw in tandem - down into a crouch, carefully shifting his weight to accept more of his nephew’s. “I know,” he murmured, lapping between Hushpaw’s ears gently. “She’s… Grieving.”
“Silentpaw and I are nearly grown,” Hushpaw shot back, his face still buried in his uncle’s fur. “S-she should be over it! She didn’t even know them-!”
“I think,” Raincrawl interrupted carefully. “I think that’s why… Because she never got the chance to know them. Watch them grow… Even give them a name, like she did with you.” Hushpaw stilled, and Raincrawl took it as permission to continue on. “I’m not saying that her behavior is okay. She should have been a mother to you both, a proper mother, but… She wasn’t. There’s no changing that now. She didn’t get to know all of her kits, and so, I assume… She didn’t want to know any of them.”
Sighing deeply, Raincrawl lifted his head, catching the faint glimmer of the stars far above as they peeked through the shelter of the branches. “Quietfin’s always been that way. It was always all or nothing with her, with everything. She was already a warrior when I was born, but I grew up watching her give all of herself to everything she possibly could… I think she tried to do the same as a mother, but… Grief is a wicked thing. It dampened her spark. She was never the same after she delivered you into the world.”
Hushpaw was silent. Raincrawl grimaced, replaying his words, wondering if he had said something wrong or too insensitive. He lowered his head again, resting his muzzle on top of his nephew’s head. “I’m… Sorry, Hushpaw,” he murmured. “In the end, I’m not Quietfin. I don’t know what she thinks, or why she does the things she does… It’s unfair to you, what she’s going through, but it’s… Unfair to her as well.” Raincrawl sighed, defeated, and said again, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be,” Hushpaw mumbled, his voice half-muffled by Raincrawl’s fur, before he withdrew his head to look at the earth beneath their paws. “It’s… Not your fault. I’m okay with not knowing why she does things, sometimes, but sometimes it’s… Just a lot.” He sniffled, flicking his ear, before tentatively lifting his gaze. “And… For the record… I’m glad you’re not her. You’re better. You’re… More of a parent than she ever was, a-and I’m grateful to have you, really. I don’t say that enough…”
Raincrawl felt his heart soften. Perhaps this conversation hadn’t been the best… There had been no ground gained or lost, after all. But… It seemed to have worked, in cheering Hushpaw up, at least a little bit. And to hear something so genuine from the usually closed-off little tom made Raincrawl feel a little lighter, himself. “You don’t have to say it, Hushpaw,” he soothed. “I know. I’m grateful to have you, too.” Heaving a great sigh, Raincrawl forced himself upright, gritting his teeth at the pain that accompanied the action, but allowing the tension in his lungs to escape him in a laugh as Hushpaw fell over with an awkward squawk, not expecting the warrior to get up so suddenly and without warning.
“C’mon now… Better get back inside camp before Ivystar notices you’re gone,” he purred, remembering his own apprentice days beneath their leader as he nudged Hushpaw to his paws, snorting again at the disheveled state of his fur and reaching down to lick between his ears once again.
“Yeah, yeah, m’ comin’,” Hushpaw grumbled, pressing himself against Raincrawl’s side and beginning to walk, offering his body as a crutch for his uncle to lean on, an offer that he accepted with quiet gratitude. Looking away, and beneath his breath, Hushpaw added softly, “... Thanks, for this…”
“Of course,” Raincrawl purred, butting his head against Hushpaw’s own. “Everyone has a rough day from time to time. I love you, Hush’.”
“... I love you too, uncle…”
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jkstompers · 2 years
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don't watch me cry | kth
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pairing: gggb!couple, kim taehyung x female reader 
summary: taehyung’s had a rough night. 
genre: angst, fluff, comfort, flashbacks, taehyung is hurt :( 
warnings: graphic depictions of an injury, childhood trauma, talks of taehyung’s ex-girlfriend, abandonment issues (parents and significant others), insecurities, taehyung cries :( 
word count: 4k
author’s note: hello! i just finished watching like three dramas in a row and was feeling the need to write so i wrote and finished a bunch of drabbles! this is one of them :) hopefully you enjoy it! pls let me know what you think! thank you for reading (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)
banner pic cred here!
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taehyung is infamously known for his shrug. his shameless shrug. it’s the only answer he’d give to people and most of the time, it tells them all he needs to say anyways. but that’s the most taehyung would ever show. you’ve never seen him show any sign of vulnerability. 
that was until you saw him on your night out with nayeon and seolhyun. it was just supposed to be a regular night of dancing and drinking, then eating something to sober up. just like your regular friday nights ever since you ended your deal with taehyung. ever since that night you slept with each other, things were good. every now and then you caught yourself making out with taehyung in his car after class, sometimes you’d even find yourself crying (from pleasure) in his bed. but other than that, the two of you were good friends. you talk to him like he’s a best friend. informing him on all the gossip that junghwa tells you and he pretty much does the same, telling you all the drama he hears from jimin.
it’s never gotten deeper than that. 
“oh! isn’t that taehyung?” nayeon asks, pointing to the familiar silhouette sitting at the table in front of a convenience store. “go say hi—!” she whispers loudly into your ear. poking you in the side when you hesitate to say something. “hey, taehyung!” she shouts when you spend another second unable to form words in order to greet taehyung.
he turns around, spotting the three of you and giving you all a wave. when you catch a glimpse of his face, you realize that it’s not his usual flat face that he’s sporting, it’s something you’ve never seen on taehyung. a frown. it’s hard to believe especially since he’s 50% mean and then 50% intimidating— but a frown wasn’t a part of his daily facial expression rotation.
“i have to talk to taehyung about something,” you tell the girls. you sense that something is wrong, it’s that gut feeling you always have. “you guys can make it back without me, right?” 
they nod, seolhyun takes out her phone and points to it. “we’ll call you when we get there!” 
you wave bye to them, letting them walk on without you while you approach taehyung. silently, you think of what you could say— if he was really upset, then how could you comfort him? take him for ice cream like that time he comforted you? or maybe you can just sit and listen to what he has to say? 
“are you okay, taehyung?” you ask from behind him, slightly startling him. he turns to look at you, but he doesn’t reply, only turning back around. he nods in response to your question, while still only looking down at his phone in front of him. you sit down next to him, staring at him for a second. you can barely see his face, it’s covered by his hair and the big puffer jacket that he’s wearing goes all the way up to his neck. the most you can see is his nose, lips, and cheeks. 
he knows you’re looking at him. he knows that you don’t mean to annoy him or anything, but he’s just too upset. he’s got a lot of things running around in his head. he doesn’t know how to tell you that he doesn’t want to talk without sounding mean. so he just sighs, telling you the truth. “sorry, ___, i’m just not in the mood to talk.“ 
“that’s fine,” you nod, understanding. “can i just sit with you? or do you want to be alone?”
he’s silent for a second. alone, huh. “no—” he shakes his head, then lets it hang in defeat. “no, i don’t want to be alone.” 
“okay.” you reply, sitting on your cold hands.
looking around, you try to stay quiet as taehyung wished but you were… incredibly bored. coming down from a drunken state made you crave some ice cream as well. ice cream would be amazing right now. taehyung comforted you once with the frozen snack, maybe it’s time you pay him back. “do you want some ice cream?” you asked, pointing to the convenience store. 
“sure,” he nods. his voice comes out shakier than he wanted, but he doesn’t think you notice as you happily skip-walk into the convenience store. 
you don’t know it, but you staying with him right now means the world to him. 
from a young age, taehyung’s done everything by himself. his parents left him alone most of the time (usually to focus on other things like work) so he tried to find ways to occupy himself without having to bother them. he was good in school, liked making friends, and was an all-around great kid. it just sucked not having present parents to tell him he was doing a good job.
“mom!” taehyung called out, the echo makes the house feel even emptier. “dad?” he looked around, peering into the rooms that were dark and deserted. the longer he walked, the lonelier he felt. that’s when he sees the note on the dinner table. he places his honor roll certificate next to the note. 
taehyung, 
we’ll be on a work trip for the week 
there’s food in the fridge and money in the cookie jar 
make sure that all the lights and appliances are off when you go to sleep 
or you can sleep over at a friend's house! 
when he grew up, he made friends, got a job, moved out, kept himself busy, and then just ended up… never really talking to his parents. when he was going through the toughest times in his life, he didn’t have that parental figure to talk to. how was he going to approach them? what was he going to say? he could never get the words out. then to make matters worse, taehyung already thought that he was relying on his friends too much. so he just kept those overwhelming thoughts to himself. negative emotions are hard to talk about. he just never wanted to bother anyone. 
that leads to her. the person that made him believe that keeping his negative emotions quiet was a good thing. that no one wanted to hear about it. that no one was going to want to be around him if he felt that way. he really hates how much she’s affected him. it’s been almost four years at this point, but he never knew how much her words could fill his brain with more of these negative thoughts. 
daisy, his ex-girlfriend. they met in high school and were labeled ‘perfect’ by their friends— always together, never fought, lasted long enough to label it a serious relationship, and everyone predicted that they’d get married. they were the highschool sweethearts. 
every relationship has its problems though. the problem with theirs was that they never spoke about their problems. daisy hated awkward situations and tension, she avoided problems at all costs. in order to make sure things were always perfect, taehyung learned that he’d have to ignore everything bad. an argument? they’d ignore each other for a few days and then when they both feel okay, they’d act like nothing ever happened. one of them forgot an important date? they’d go on with their day without saying a thing. if taehyung had a lot on his mind and wanted to talk about it? daisy wouldn’t listen. 
every bad feeling he had, he kept inside. he’d talk to his friends about it sometimes, but just not to the one person that he gave his heart to. the person that he wanted to spill his guts to. 
“you’re usually not like this, tae.” she said, knitting her brows together and crossing her arms as she stared down at him. 
it was the day before graduation, taehyung was feeling really down. he was about to earn his diploma and transition into a new period of his life. but his parents didn’t even care. he talked to them about the ceremony and everything, but they said they couldn’t be there for the entire thing. at first, he didn’t care— but then he started thinking. about how his parents were never there for him any other time, and about how they’re probably never going to change. that’s what made him upset beyond words. that he could never make his parents care for him if they just… don’t. 
he was already close to tears. clutching the material of his jeans in his fist. trying his best to hold them in so that she wouldn’t have to see him like that. she hated when people cried in front of her. 
“i just need you to listen to me,” his voice shook as he tried to speak up. “i don’t want to break up, i’m sorry i’ve been acting weird lately, but i have an explanation.” 
“i don’t really care to hear it.” she admitted to him. “i don’t want to be with you anymore.” 
“what? why?” he can’t hold the tears in any longer. they stream down his face as she stares down at him in disgust. he’s never felt more pathetic than he did then. 
“you’re not the same as you were when we met.” she shrugs, “it just isn’t fun anymore.” 
he was silent for a second, thinking through what she just said. “you’re just gonna leave because it’s not fun anymore? what? you don’t love me anymore because it’s not fun?” taehyung huffed in disbelief. 
she shrugs. “i can’t love someone that acts like this.” 
those words ring through his head every now and then, whenever he’s feeling vulnerable. even when he’s alone, with no one there to see him cry. taehyung learned to hold in his emotions, to deny his tears from ever coming out. to be intimidating so that people wouldn’t approach him. to be cold so that he could distance himself away before things got serious. he swore off relationships after her. the temporary bliss wasn’t worth the immense pain he felt after. how he wasn’t able to resolve all the things he kept inside because she just left. no closure, nothing. he found that keeping himself busy with hookups and parties was great for the past three years. but now, there’s you. that makes it complicated. 
he wonders what you think of him. what you want him to be like. do you want him to be tough like she did? 
“here.” you hold the cone out for him, breaking him out of his thoughts. he looks up at you and then at the cone, reaching out for it. it’s then that you see his busted hand. bloody and bruised, the dark red blood already starting to dry against his skin. you try to hide the way that you gasp, but it wasn’t much of an effort. “what happened, taehyung?!” 
he takes the ice cream cone from your hand, gently brushing your fingers with his. “got into a fight.” he answers simply before he starts to eat the ice cream. 
“with who?” you questioned, sitting back down next to him. 
he shrugs, “some guy.” 
you study his face now since you’re able to see him now. he looks normal, his lips are still pink and they aren’t bruised nor split open. there are no physical signs of injury on his face. as for the rest of his body, you couldn’t tell since he was bundled up for the cold night. 
“well, are you okay?” you wrap your fingers around his forearm to gently pull it close to you. moving around the ice cream cone and inspecting the wounds that wrap around his knuckles. 
“i’m fine,” he chuckles. “you should see the other guy,” he tells you with a small smile. 
you rolled your eyes, still holding his injured hand in yours carefully. like it would shatter if you moved too fast. “i’m being serious, taehyung.” 
he switches hands so that he could hold his ice cream in his left while you continue to inspect his right. “i’m serious,” he looks you in the eye. you can see them peeking through his bangs, “i’m okay.” 
you don’t believe him, of course, it has to hurt because of how busted it is. you could tell that the wound was a few hours old. has he been out here for that long? you pull out your phone to check the time, it’s almost 2 in the morning. 
“did you walk here?” you asked, looking around the area. realizing that it’s close to where taehyung’s apartment is, you remember passing by this convenience store whenever you would go to see him. 
he nods, biting into the cone. “i went on a walk to clear my head.” 
“and you ended up getting into a fight?” you laughed. 
he lets out a little laugh as well. “yeah, i didn’t like the way the guy was looking at me.” 
“you think you’re so tough.” you scrunch your nose, standing up and pulling him up with you. “let’s go, it’s cold and my butt is freezing on this bench.” 
taehyung’s quiet as he follows you, leading the way to his humble abode because you know the way from here. your hand holds his left hand, the one that isn’t injured. he watches as you try to warm up by holding your other arm close to your body, trying to conserve your warmth. he was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize what you were wearing, forgetting that you just came from clubbing. a short dress with long sleeves but thin material, you must be freezing. 
he stops in the middle of the sidewalk, halfway to his apartment and drops your hand. you turn to ask what’s wrong but then he holds his almost-finished ice cream cone up to your face and tells you, “hold this.” 
you take hold of his ice cream cone and stand confused as to what he’s doing until he starts taking his big brown puffer jacket off. holding it out for you to trade with his ice cream cone. 
“it’s okay, your apartment is just over there— i can handle it.” you deny the jacket, trying to make sure he’s warm but he doesn’t listen to you. 
“it’s cold.” he says, “just take it.” he places the jacket over your shoulders since you weren’t going to take it voluntarily. 
you didn’t want to blush but you were sure your face was already red from how cold it was outside. “thank you,” you mumbled as he moved next to you, taking your hand in his uninjured one. he tells himself that it’s just to make sure you don’t get kidnapped, but in reality, he just likes holding your hand.
the two of you walk in tandem towards his apartment building. shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. you talk about how your time at the club was while taehyung listens, your voice easing him on this lonely night. the tension in his chest begins to fade. the longer he stays with you, the less his chest feels like collapsing in on itself.
seolhyun and nayeon called as soon as you stepped into the lobby of taehyung’s building. you told the two of them goodnight before hanging up and walking a little faster to catch up with taehyung who’s already standing at his front door. he turns the door handle to his apartment and lets you in first, the warmth of his apartment welcoming you in and he follows quickly behind. you shed the jacket he gave you and place it into his coat closet. taehyung was shedding the contents of his pockets onto the kitchen island when you caught his forearm, pulling him gently into his bathroom. 
it was obvious to you that taehyung didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering him, so instead of asking your rapid fire questions— you decided to just keep your curiosity to yourself. sifting through the cabinet under his sink to find the bandages and rubbing alcohol. 
placing the first aid on the bathroom counter, you tell him to stand next to you, “we have to wash it off with water first.” when you look at his face, he’s still got that frown on his lips. accompanied with a blank stare. you’ve never seen taehyung seem so down. whatever’s on his mind must be weighing him down heavily. maybe it would be better if you talked about something else. you try to think of a funny story as you turn on the tap. 
he stands next to you, placing his hand under the running water. the water turns a light pink as it flows down the drain. 
“you know, when i was younger, i used to get hurt every other day.” you laughed to yourself. gently, you clean off the stuck-on dried blood that’s between his fingers, the dried chunks also going down the drain. “i was a big outdoorsy kid, i was out playing in the dirt until the sun went down, and sometimes i’d come home with bruises and cuts that i didn’t even know i got.” you pull his hand out from under the water and dry it with a paper towel, gently dabbing around the big gash on his knuckle. his formerly bloodied hand is a lot cleaner now than it was when you first saw it. “my mom had to take me to the emergency room once because i ate so much dirt,” you finished the story with a chuckle. 
as much as he wanted to laugh, he could only give you a weak smile. because he thought about his parents. about how they wouldn’t even care if he came home hurt.
you sat him down on the toilet seat and brought the first aid with you. in front of him, you sit down on the bath mat and just between his legs. “and sadly, i don’t think i’ve grown out of my clumsy phase.” you keep talking as you take a gauze and soak it with the rubbing alcohol. “look,” you hold your bandaged elbow up. “i fell off my bed yesterday and fucked up my elbow.” 
that makes taehyung laugh a little bit. bringing his hand up to gently run his thumb over your bandage. “it doesn’t hurt anymore?” he asks, just a bit of worry washing over him. 
you snorted, shaking your head. “not anymore.” you bring the alcohol soaked gauze to float just above his wound. you warn him, “this will probably sting a little.” 
he doesn’t even bat an eye. you pat the gauze over his wound and he doesn’t even flinch. but just as you were going to throw away the gauze, your eyes flicker up to his face to see his eyes filled with tears. it wasn’t because it stings, but because he’s never had someone care for him like this. he’s always done this himself. now you’re sitting in front of him, with all the warmth of your heart and your hands on his as you clean up the mess he made.
quickly throwing the gauze in the trash, you try to look in his eyes— to check if you were seeing things. but nope, there were definitely tears brimming his lashline. “i’m sorry!” you panic. “does it hurt that bad?” you asked, blowing onto the wound to try and make it feel better. you didn’t even know if it worked, but your mom used to do it all the time. it made you feel better, so maybe it would help him. 
it seems to work, he cracks a little smile as he shakes his head. “no— no,” he assures with a chuckle. but the way the tears began to stream down his face, you knew that even if it wasn’t the burning from the alcohol— something else had to have hurt. “sorry, i just have a lot on my mind,” he explains, wiping his tears on his shoulder. 
“it’s okay,” you tell him. scooting yourself closer to him. your head leans on his knee when you ask, “do you want to talk about it?” 
when his eyes meet yours, he sees how genuine you’re being. the way your eyes search for any answers that he isn’t saying out loud. the way you’ve dug yourself into him makes him want to spill everything to you. he remembers feeling like this once. he remembers how terrible it went. 
but it’s you. he repeats it over and over in his head. it’s you. 
“i just…” he starts, sighing and looking away from you for a second. a moment passes and he looks back to you, patiently waiting for him to say anything. 
there’s no reason for him to hide from you. the girl who tells him embarrassing stories about herself to make him feel better. the girl that cried in his car because the guy she liked turned out to be an asshole. the girl that’s with him right now, making sure that he didn’t feel alone. so he bites the inside of his cheek. “i’ve got family problems, y’know— then that stupid asshole made my night worse when i was out for my walk.” 
“is everything okay with your family?” you sat up straight, a worried expression painted on your face.
he’s quiet, unsure about what to say. he’s not even sure if he’s ready to talk about it out loud anyway. but that’s fine. the long pause tells you all you need to know. 
“you can tell me about it when you’re ready, okay?” you squeeze his uninjured hand gently. grabbing the bandages and wrapping it around his knuckles. “now what about this asshole that did this to your hand, huh?” you asked, smiling up at him. 
he returns the smile, the corner of his lip upturns. “he said something stupid and i threw a sucker punch at him.” 
“really?” you snorted. finishing the wrap around his fist and placing his hand back onto his lap. 
he nodded, another round of tears coming out and running down his face. you just sit quietly, watching as taehyung reveals a whole new side of him you’ve never seen. a side of him that you’re sure most people haven’t seen of him. you want to wipe the tears away, but you’re not sure if you guys are there yet. just sitting here and listening to him is enough. you don’t want to push too far. so you just sit and let him cry it out. 
he laughs at the way that you’re just sitting and staring at him. “don’t watch me cry,” he wipes away his tears again. 
“why can’t i?” you teased, getting in his face. he chuckles in response, making you grin. “you don’t need to act so tough all the time.” you take both of his hands into yours. gently running your thumb over his— now— bandaged knuckles. “you don’t need to keep hurting yourself.” you tap his forehead and then his knuckles, “inside and outside.” 
he shrugs again, letting out a shaky breath. he doesn’t know what to say. this is the most he’s ever talked about his feelings. he’s got a lot to work on, but you think he did just fine. you understand him enough to know that he just doesn’t want to be abandoned right now. he needs someone and if he’ll let you, you want to be that person. 
he speaks up after a long pause. “thanks for staying with me.” 
you smiled, “am i just gonna leave you to fend for yourself when you’re hurt?” 
he shrugged again, “you could have.” 
“well, i won’t,” you assure him. looking into his tired, red eyes and promising him that. 
it makes taehyung’s eyes start to tear up again. 
so he closes his eyes, letting the burn behind his lids take over. he leans forward to gently rest his forehead against yours. you don’t move, only intertwining your fingers with his and squeezing gently. “thank you,” he whispers. 
smiling softly, you rub his nose with yours. “of course,” you whisper back. pulling back far enough to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. it’s then that taehyung pulls you in for a hug. wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly. his face hidden in the crook of your neck as he basks in the warmth of your presence.  
little by little, taehyung feels his throat itching to tell you everything. to regurgitate everything he’s been through for you to understand. but your gentle touch and sweet reassurance tells him there’s no need to rush and that you won’t judge him for taking too long to talk about it.
so tonight he’ll let himself sit in your warm embrace. tonight, he’ll take all the love he can get. 
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you promised that you’d help taehyung out with one of his projects after your monday lecture, so you’re rushing to the parking lot just after class finished. 
after saying a quick hello to one of your professors, you notice a familiar face amongst a group walking your way. except, that face has a prominently bruised eye. josh’s eye is almost swollen shut. the purple and blue bruise surrounding his eye looks painful, and you could only guess who put it there. 
[4:24 pm] you: did u really…
[4:25 pm] taehyung: guess u saw the other guy?
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arc-misadventures · 2 years
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adult jaune, who for reasons is the adoptive father of ren and nora's daughter, then when a suitor arrives for the hand of his "daughter" and she calls him dad for the first time in some way the story ends with this:
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Hmm… “Play-by- Play Colour Cometary In Another World…” Or something close to that…
Good manga; I got the photo for the first, or second NNN: R from it. Same pairing too.
Wish it updated more often…
///
This Is How It Was Meant To Be
Rieka: Uhh… J-Jaune…?
Jaune: Hmm…? Oh, Rieka, you need something?
Rieka: Y-Yeah… Abraxas, and I wanted to talk to you…
Abraxas: Hello, Mr. Arc, how are you doing this day?
Jaune: Abraxas! Good to see you, how’s your mom?
Abraxas: Mom is fine, a bit exhausted, leading a group such as the White Fang will do that to you.
Jaune: So long as she doesn’t start overworking herself again, your mother tends to hyper focus on a project. Hopefully, Sun will keep a eye on her.
Abraxas: Dad is… helping…
Jaune: That…! That’s to be expected…
Abraxas: Yeah…
Jaune: So, you two needed something?
Abraxas: Yeah… W-Well I wanted to ask you something…
Jaune: Ask away then.
Abraxas: O-Okay then… You see the thing is…
Jaune: …
Abraxas: The thing is…
Rieka: Go on, you can ask him…
Abraxas: I know… T-This is just hard to talk about…
Jaune: What is?
Abraxas: …!
Abraxas: Mr. Arc! May I have permission to marry your daughter!
Jaune: …
Jaune: Eh…?
Rieka: Jaune… Abraxas, and I have been dating for quite sometime now… A-And, we would like to get married…
Abraxas: So I am here… To get your blessing, Mr. Arc.
Jaune: Wow… I didn’t expect this when I woke up this morning… W-Why didn’t you tell me, or Pyrrha for that matter, that you two are dating. Did you think I’d be upset, or something?
Abraxas: It was my idea not to tell anyone we are dating, Sir.
Rieka: More like your fault…
Jaune: Meaning?
Abraxas: Well, you see…?!
Rieka: He’s too hot! Everyone thinks he smoking hot, and let me tell you, he is! We were worried some sort of mad brawl would happen if anyone found out he was taken. To which I would have won, he’s mine now, none one else’s can have him… Only me!
Abraxas: Uhh…?
Jaune: Pfft! Hahaha!
Reika: What’s so funny?
Jaune: Your possessiveness; Your mother was just like that with your father back when we were at Beacon. It’s nice to see the Valkyrie warrior spirit lives on in you! Hehe… Haa… I miss them… They would have been over the moon for you…
Reika: You really think so…?
Jaune: Without a shadow of a doubt.
Abraxas: So… Do we have your blessing…?
Jaune: …
Rieka: Please, Jaune…
Jaune: …
Rieka: Can we please have your blessing… D-Dad…?
Jaune: W-What did you call me…?
Rieka: Dad… A-Am I not allowed to call you dad…
Jaune: Y-Yes… You’ve always been allowed to call me, Dad. I just never expected you to call me it considering… everything. However, are you just calling me dad as a means to emotionally manipulate me into saying yes?
Rieka: Y-Yes…?
Jaune: You are, Nora’s daughter! She did that to me all the time! Or, at least tried to…
Abraxas: So do we have your permission then?
Jaune: You may have my permission…
Abraxas: Oh! Thank you! Thank you, Mr. Arc!
Reika: Dad! You have no idea how much this means to us!
Jaune: You didn’t let me finish.
Rieka: Eh?
Abraxas: Beg pardin…?
Jaune: You may have my permission, and my daughter’s hand in marriage, but only after you defeat me in mortal combat!!!
Abraxas: W-What?!
Rieka: Dad?! You can’t be serious?!
Jaune: I must: Your mother would have wanted it this way! Now, defend yourself spawn of Cat, and Monkey!
Abraxas: Y-You must be jo…?! Ahh?!!
Rieka: W-W-What the hell?! Dad stop it! I-I…?! MOM!!!
(SMASH!!!)
Pyrrha: What did you call me?!!
Rieka: Mom, you just destro…?! GRK?!!
Pyrrha: Oh, Reika! You finally see me as your mother! I know I could never replace your mother, but I wanted to be the best I could be in her place! It makes me so happy to hear you say this!
Rieka: Can we talk about this later?! Dad’s trying to kill my boyfriend!
Pyrrha: You called, Jaune dad?!! Oh this is such a wonderful… Wait, boyfriend?! Since when have you been dating Abraxas, and why is, Jaune trying to kill him?
Rieka: C-Can we talk about us dating later?!
Pyrrha: Really, cause it would probably explain all of… this?
Rieka: Abraxas was trying to get Dad’s permission to marry me, and…
Pyrrha: You two?! Oh, you’d make such a wonderful couple~!
Rieka: Mom, Dad said, Abraxas could only get his permission if he defeated, Dad in ritual combat!
Pyrrha: So?
Rieka: So we have to stop him!!!
Pyrrha: No, we have to do this; It’s what, Nora would have wanted.
Rieka: …
Rieka: W-What the fuck?!
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odin-suggestion · 6 months
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I still think about that moment in the comics where Odin hired Black Panther to kill Loki. But then how Odin gets very upset if anything happens to Loki. If BP had done it, what do you think Odin would have done?
I think about this so much.
Like, here's the context: The War of the Realms is imminent and Odin is finally realizing that he picked the wrongest possible way to deal with it. Freyja called it, and Loki sided with her when she rebelled against Odin over it, and then he (apparently) defected to the enemy, then he (apparently) tried to kill Freyja and nearly succeeded. Odin is going through some shit and once again, much of it is Loki's fault. So it's not that shocking that he'd want something done about Loki, and let's be real: for Asgardians, killing them is just making them go somewhere. To a god, death is a prison sentence, and Loki is the gods' best escape artist.
And while Odin absolutely (even by his own admission), has his moments... he's not stupid.
In that comic, Odin goes to Black Panther and starts off by saying, "Let me tell you a story."
In this story, Odin says, "A long time ago, I, a young god, and your ancestor, the first Black Panther, fought a terrible creature together with some other heroes. When we had defeated it, the Black Panther called for mercy -- something was clearly wrong with this creature, and he wanted to help it. I disagreed: I thought we should kill it and nail its corpse to the moon as a warning to the rest of its kind."
And then Odin says, "I was wrong. The Black Panther was wiser than I was."
He uses this story to illustrate why he respects the Black Panther -- a fellow king, a powerful warrior, and a man of great wisdom. And then Odin says, "That creature we fought: its friends are coming to Earth to get revenge for what we did, and Loki is helping them.* I want you to kill him for the greater good."
*(Loki, for his part, is doing all of this because Malekith intends to use Earth as the battleground for the War of the Realms and the Avengers aren't Avengering hard enough. They need a bad guy to fight so they'll have an excuse to get the band back together.)
Odin says he can't do it because he's weak, he loves his son too much to kill him himself, even knowing the destruction he's about to cause. And it seems like it doesn't quite fit together, does it? Odin didn't go to one of the other heroes he fought alongside in that fight. He didn't ask the Ghost Rider, arbiter of cosmic justice. He didn't ask Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, who's recently had to deal with Loki's bullshit and is eager to kick his ass. He didn't ask the Phoenix, favorite of his old companions. He asked the Black Panther -- the only one to disagree with him. The one who wisely called for mercy and understanding.
And then I remember Young Avengers.
And I remember when the whole thing first starts, and Billy's in trouble and America swoops in to rescue him -- not from the terrible mage-eating monster he's just accidentally summoned, but from Loki. And when they finally get a moment to sit down to talk about it, she tells Billy:
"Don't trust Loki. He knew something was going to happen and he told me that to prevent it, I should kill you."
And Loki says, "Sometimes the only way to be the good guy is to play the bad guy everyone expects you to be. What would you have done if I'd told you Billy was in trouble?"
"Nothing," she admits.
A year after this conversation with Odin, T'Challa walks into Avengers tower with a file on everything Loki's been up to recently and says to the Avengers, "What have all of you heard about the War of the Realms?"
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Trollstopia season 7 thoughts!
⚠️Spoilers⚠️
I ADORED THIS SEASON!!!!! PERFECT ENDIND TO THE SERIES WE LOVE AND ADORE💖💜💙💚💛🧡❤️!!!!!
Can I just say I loved the epic score and narration Lownote and the Classicals did😄! And Barb called classical boring😂! But we really do all just need a quiet moment to just chill. I’m honestly note surprised that classical barely, if not ever learned to walk. Honestly their limbs are so small anyway flying has probably always been the best way to get around. Minuet is sooo understanding! She didn’t even got upset, she’s the best💛!
Man my OC Vesper the Shapeshifter would’ve been the perfect apprentice for Cloud Guy! Total prankster she is, very mischievous! And her shapeshifting would give her a mess with advantage. All the trolls’ prank attempts were adorable😊😅! Synth, Dante We’ve seen trolls do actual pranks plenty of times. They have an entire holiday dedicated to it! Guess they’re too soft hearted. Kinda figured Cloud Guy wouldn’t actually have gone. Messing with Branch is his calling. Ya never know what you have until it’s gone Val. Perhaps the only way for her to truly appreciate Demo was simply to let him go for that time. I think he needed it too, learned not to be too smothering. And Dante gets an excellent manager in Lagoona. Although in her very focused natured she seemed almost in a bad mood.
Synth and Poppy are so considerate💖💜! I did agree with them. Without proper rest you get thing properly and you’ll slip up a bunch! Practice doesn’t always make perfect. Usually I hate vampire stories. But this style was much more acceptable! Ironic Guy would grow a liking for wearing clothes, given that the last time he did he ripped them off and said “naked for life!”. I’m very surprised the bats didn’t look anything like Debbie. Once again an episode I could easily see Dub Skull in, he’d love it🖤💚!
Still don’t like Pushy Poppy, the way she talks still great annoys me. But HA! The greatest victories have no battles! The best way to defeat your enemy is to make them your friend! Or at least in this case friends with each other. They’ll be so busy being friends they won’t have time to be evil and conquer Trollstopia! I love it! Friendship wins the day again! I loved the team up of Synth, Demo, and DJ! I kinda figured just by looking at the critters they were called rockoons (maybe that’s what we should call galarian zigzagoons😂!). What do you mean you’re not the lead type Synth? You lead the techno trolls of Trollstopia in Trollex’s stead! Lastly Poppy I appreciate your patience and confidence but those three aren’t the most perspective and likely to catch on.
Who hasn’t in their childhood built a blanket fort? Who hasn’t blown bubbles in their milk, or put olives on their fingers? I pity those who haven’t. If Tiny need blankets, I have plenty to go around! Most are trolls😅😂! And besides my bed one I don’t use them often anyway. I seriously hope the coming generation don’t turn out like R&B in the pancake episode. Instead of letting the modern tech we have do everything ALL the time. Sometimes knowing the old fashion way is important. In the event we don’t have the tech.
There’s a reason people still like sad stories. Sure they’re sad, and no one likes being sad. But they can be relatable, and heart softening. We all need a moment to cry, helps us be more understanding and sensitive. That’s why I like the Titanic, a Dog’s Journey, or Hachiko. They’re sad but we learn from them. Serving the community is important Val. If the rock trolls love and respect you, of course they’ll understand it! Even if it’s something silly. Besides you’re trolls, you’re already naturally silly.
Val really has come a long way, I’m so proud of her growth! Doing so much ACTUAL hard work all for her friends😍! They know how easygoing she is and how she’s changed, also she wasn’t blind to how awful that cabin was. They can always think of other girls trips together. One awesome one and hopefully more to come for them! OMG MY HEART WAS BEATING SO FAST FREAKING OUT SEEING THE TECHTACULAR KING TROLLEX!!!!! Makes sense out of all the leaders he’d be the first to expand the Trollstopian culture exchanging way of life. Besides Poppy he feels the most open of the leaders. The fact that HE is also a big fan of Trollstopia😍🤩! AND THEY PICKED WHO I WAS HOPING FOR LIKE A MONTH THEY’D PICK TO MOVE WITH HIM! YEAH, DJ Suki!!!!! I was afraid Poppy was comprising the selection. I understand she doesn’t want to say goodbye to anyone. But they shouldn’t keep the joys of Trollstopia all too themselves. Imagine one day all the different living together in all the other tribes homes! Trollex is just the one to make the next step. At first I was so excited and overjoyed DJ got selected. But then seeing her go, the sadness of saying bye to her set in😔. Them all saying goodbye to her for a whole year, the fact they went totally heavy on the feels too, I got emotional! I hope we (the fans) actually get to see her again. Val had a point all the other tribes they had to say goodbye to when they moved there. It was the Pop trolls who didn’t move away from anything. Which made Suki an even greater selection. Just as the other tribes shared apart of their communities, the trolly thing to do is for Pop to do the same for them. Seeing Suki leave with Trollex by the way strengthened my ship for them TEN FOLD!!! Now them living in the same place for a time could increase the chances of it actually happening even more! DO IT DREAMWORKS!!!!! Too bad Anthony Ramos couldn’t come back. He’s probably busy getting ready for Ironheart and Beast Wars. But the substitute of named Anthony also😂! I feel like Suki leaving to live with Trollex in Techno Reef should give a lot of plot relevance for the 3rd movie. I mean both her a Trollex are criminally under spotlighted and they’ll initiate the geater scale inter-tribal growth. If that and they are ignored in Trolls 3 I will be GREATLY UPSET! In tears for the ending I of course sung along with all the trolls, the Trollstopia theme song😭. TROLLSTOPIA FOREVER💖❤️🧡💛💚💙💜!!!!!
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amynchan · 1 year
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K. so I'm gonna share a Memory. I hold it fondly, but boy was I upset when it was actually happening. XD
It's about my older brother, the gamer.
So, when I was younger, I liked to watch my older brother play video games. I'd sit and watch, and he'd sit and play, and I always asked him to sit on my feet because they were always cold. Always kicked him when he farted on me, though. XD (Which is why sometimes he'd say no, and I'd wrap my feet in blankets instead, and then he'd sit on them. Good compromise.)
Anyway. He played a lot. I watched a lot. I almost never watched from the start of the game to the end of the game, though, so there were some storylines I straight up Missed.
At some point, he plays a game called Phantasy Star Universe. I almost always caught him playing the beginning, but I always missed the middle and end. It was a story that I had no clue about, and he eventually just stopped playing it and moved onto something else. (At least, I think that's what happened. XD)
So. This Would Not Do. I really wanted to know the story, and I either didn't know letsplays were a thing or couldn't find one. Which makes sense because Phantasy Star seems to be not super popular. XD So I decided to play the game myself.
ngl, I was bad at it. XD But I did my best. And, in a role reversal, my brother watched me play sometimes. He'd go in and out of the room like I did, and I focused on the story. I did My Best.
Now, the game has 14 chapters? I think??? Lemme double check. 12 chapters. My bad. ANYWAY.
I made it through chapters 1-6 by the Skin of my Teeth. But I did! I was so happy! When I got to chapter 7, I was trying really hard to pull an all nighter (my brother had done a couple, and I was going to play this game!), but I got stuck. That chapter was hard for me as I suck at coordination, and there was a section where you gotta waterski across the first bit, and I kept running into bombs, then there were big enemies that I kept running from and waving my saber Wildly at, and I kept losing support left and right to the plot, and I was a Ragged Mess by the time I hit the boss.
I think I died 3 times trying to get that boss, and I kept getting more and more frustrated. The only thing I remember is feeling myself about to cry (which I still don't like doing in front of people, but the aversion was Very Strong as a child, and my brother knew it), and he offered to beat the boss for me.
I said okay, and I vowed to myself that I was going to Watch and Learn. I was going to Watch and Learn and be able to get on with the story!
The next thing I know, I'm waking up to a beautiful shot of water moving and the main character talking to a character I'd seen before, but I had no idea what she was doing there.
"Oh, you're awake," said my brother (I think. This was years ago.). "I beat level 7 for you."
Which he did, and I was v grateful, but he also went on to beat chapters 8 and 9 and had just finished beating chapter 10.
Guys. I was distraught. How could I bet the game when I couldn't beat chapter 7? I was a chapter 7 skill level masquarading as someone competent on now chapter 11. Which had a wave-after-wave battle in it that I couldn't defeat. XD My poor brother had no idea what to do, so he showed me all the upgrades he gave my character (upgrades that I had no clue about until he did them for me) and how to use them.
I did have to go back to 7 For The Story, but when I got the upgrades my brother showed me and use hacks that he also showed me, I was able to beat the boss and continue with the game. The story gripped me until the end, and there was a Happily Ever After!
Now, Phantasy Star Universe is one of my favorite games. I really did like the story and the world and the characters. I like the structured game play and the memories that go along with it. That's one of the big reasons it's gonna be one of my my favorite games forever. That, and I was still playing it when one of my little cousins was born several years later. RIP game progress. You died for a Worthy Cause x2. XD
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(also Karen is my favorite okbye)
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