#sorcerae

[afishwithmanylegs]

The power of autism compels me

Anyway have jon and Martin as BG3 character

Martins a half elf cleric of the lonely

Jon's a drow Sorcera

[squadrongrayskull]

Sorcera: 22. she/they.

has general magic abilities.

is native to etheria. only non-first one on the squadron.

Can cast spells and such by using Etheria’s natural magic as well as her penchant charmed with first ones ancient magic.

weapon of choice: pendant w/ magic, sword.

[treasuresunknown]

30. — family

Inside Lily’s signature pink diamond necklace that she is rarely seen without, there is a small version of her parent’s wedding photo, one of the only remaining pictures she still has of her mother. Despite her countless aunts, uncles and cousins that she left behind in the small village she grew up in, and despite having no real memories of her mother, she still considers the locket to contain her true family.

[thepelagoislands]

*crashes in through the ceiling* i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me (ok actually this was very expected) Arch-Sorceress/Dark Mage/Alchemist Pandora is back on her bullshit living with Raguna wherever he lives and working no where

And what glorious bullshit it is. [ weary emoji ]

Everyone, please follow Pandora!

[thunder-jolt]

NakaDex Entries: Vol. 1

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Leafona, the Forest Nakamon

Type: Grass

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: The evolution to Picaleaf, the Seedling Nakamon, Leafona is said to be a “spirit” of the forest but is just a Nakamon who lives in the forest, its sandy-yellow fur is Leafona changing colors to match the arriving seasons; its fur can range from chartreuse, leaf green, sandy-yellow, maple-orange, and maroon, to show that Leafona’s not just an animal but a part of nature…

+++++++

Electrimi, the Ghost Opossom Nakamon

Type: Electric-Ghost

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: A Pikaclone to some people, Electrimi is said to be a manifesting ghost of an endangered species, constantly pranking people by blacking out their houses with bolts of ghostly electricity, as if you’re in a horror movie, but when caught or seen; Electrimi will flash itself in bright blue-and-yellow energy as a way to retreat, which would paralyze the person for 7 short seconds before the person can get back up again…

+++++++

Stomusa, the Medusa Nakamon

Type: Stone-Grass

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: Inspired by the fabled tale of Medusa, this Nakamon appears like a petite half-person half-python stone creature, with live, dark-green, vine-like snakes as hair, and a piercing glare able to scare anyone away, though scary to most Nakamon; Stomusa is deeply ashamed of itself and wishes for a friend to talk to, which is also another thing why Leafonas and Picaleafs sometimes give Stomusas some loving attention now and then…

+++++++

Picaleaf, the Seedling Nakamon

Type: Grass

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: Said to be a baby Nakamon of the forest, these Nakamon are about the size of a hummingbird and act like ducklings, but though the Seedling Nakamon may act like any baby animal; these little buds have importance to nature, as they waddle around; they leave particles of fertilizer so that the soil they step on will gain the nutrients and grow beautiful plants. Picaleaf will evolve into Leafona if it reached a close bond with its owner…

++++++++

Sorcera, the Whimsical Nakamon

Type: Ghost-Fairy

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: Said to be a spirit that lives in old wizardly homes; Sorcera is normally shy and sometimes hides in old cauldrons as a hiding spot, but if comfortable around humans; Sorcera reveals itself to the person and is social, some say that Sorcera are believed to be the souls of powerful wizards of history, reduced to a small jelly wizard, some people also say that Sorcera takes design inspiration from the Pokemon Hatterene as it looks like it could fit in the Hatterene line. As for powers and abilities, it is said to be not only a good luck charm but also a symbol of magic and protection, it is also said to light up dark rooms with its small staff, which is a good thing to know when you forgot your flashlight at a campsite in the middle of the dark. Sorcera will evolve into Enchantra if it reached a larger and closer bond with its owner…

+++++++

Enchantra, the Wizardly Nakamon

Type: Psychic-Fairy

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: The evolution to Sorcera, Enchantra heavily appears like a wizard, though androgynous by most, as for abilities; Enchantra keeps the same qualities as its original form, except this time; it can cast spells onto those who dare offend Enchantra, another thing about Enchantra is that if you bring in a very special potion or relic; it will cherish it for a long time, especially if the relic is special and new to Enchantra…

+++++++

Knightsy, the Bold-yet-Feeble Nakamon

Type: Fairy

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: Appearing like a very small princess knight, Knightsy is said to be a spirit that is destined to be a knight, trying to protect a passing Nakamon from danger, only to be hurt and denied multiple times by other Nakamon, making it feeble, but its bold nature is what defines the courage of this Nakamon, as much as it’s a Fairy-type Nakamon, it stands out among the other fairy types. Knightsy will evolve into a Knightlaya if reached a close bond with its owner…

+++++++

Knightlaya, the Galant-Knight Nakamon

Type: Fairy-Steel

Category: Ordinary

NakaDex Entry: Now stronger than ever, Knightlaya is the Nakamon’s definition of a loyal, valiant knight, inspired by knights in shining armor; Knightlaya will appear cute and frilly as its original stage, Knightsy, but with armor plates on their head and arms, wielding a blade of energy, Knightlaya won’t back down in a fight, even if it is sworn to protect Nakamon and people no matter the type, and it is also known to have a spiritual and close bond with Sorcera’s, Enchantra’s, and the aforementioned Knightsy’s…

+++++++

Dyoxa, the Reformation Nakamon

Type: Fairy-Psychic-(???)

Category: Mythical

NakaDex: Unknown. It is unknown to man and Nakamon alike whether it is considered a Nakamon or an alien, people say that Dyoxa could be the last pieces of Deoxys formed into a new creature by Arceus, while some people also say that both Deoxys and Arceus created Dyoxa, but no ones knows. What people notice is that it can disguise itself as either a human or Pokemon, a perfect silhouette of the person or Pokemon but only one difference that takes the disguise away is Dyoxa’s color scheme replacing the original’s, it’s like recoloring a character as a different person but vice versa.

+++++++

Oka-Ime, the Raised One Nakamon

Type: Fairy-Grass-Psychic

Category: Mythical

NakaDex Entry: A keeper of the forest and watcher of the Grass-type Nakamon, Oka-Ime is said to be once a priestess of two boar Nakamon and Arceus, but after the tragic “disappearance” of the two boar Nakamon, Oka-Ime is never seen. People, upon seeing the mythical Nakamon, mistake Oka-Ime as a human wearing a wolf’s hide due to Oka-Ime’s humanoid form under the wolf skin. Oka-Ime, though territorial and protective, will have nice conversations with other Mythicals, like Celebi or Jirachi, and will understand the Mythical’s struggles, Oka-Ime can even sense when someone is nearby, like a curious trainer or a curious Nakamon or Pokemon, and can sense whether someone is a friend or foe by their spiritual energy. Though silent, Oka-Ime can communicate to humans through telepathy, though it is considered rare for Oka-Ime to trust a human, but if the human is respectful and cares for nature as Oka-Ime does; Oka-Ime will befriend the human, just don’t mess up the forests, destroying the forest will consider you a threat towards Oka-Ime and other Nakamon and Pokemon. And some people even say that Oka-Ime is the reincarnation of the girl raised by wolves, or the Wolf Princess, but it depends on its context.

+++++++

Hooplina, the Genie Nakamon

Type: Psychic-Ghost-Fairy

Category: Mythical

NakaDex Entry: A split-Evo of Hoopa, the Mischief Pokemon, Hooplina, unlike Hoopa, is shy and doesn’t normally talk to strangers, but if lightened up and comfortable; Hooplina is considered social, well-behaved, and will grant you wishes, literally and metaphorically, even healing and redeeming people from their misdeeds and mistakes, aside from the well-behaved attitude of this Nakamon; the only traits Hooplina carries from Hoopa is that Hooplina can form rings that can act like portals, whether for travel or for bringing in objects from other places. If you give your Hoopa exposure to or reached a high level of friendship, love, and affection, it’ll evolve into Hooplina, but nonetheless for the unbound form of Hoopa; unbound Hoopa stays the same. And another thing, Hoopa will evolve differently if you don’t expose it to love and affection.

+++++++

Hooplano, the Majnun Nakamon

Type: Dark-Psychic-Ghost

Category: Mythical

NakaDex Entry: A split-Evo of Hoopa, the Mischief Nakamon, Hooplano has not only traits of Hoopa but also traits from Hoopa’s unbound form, after experiencing the exposure of being abandoned and neglected; Hooplano has gained a hatred against humans and has malicious intentions, like Hoopa; Hooplano has the power to form rings that act like portals, whether to travel or to obtain objects from other places, but unlike Hoopa; Hooplano gains the power to hypnotize and possess people, making the one who got possessed by Hooplano its “trainer”, but Hooplano can still be redeemed, if one has a Hooplina with them; Hooplina will try and redeem Hooplano from Hooplano’s hatred against humans, and make Hooplano learn more and better about people. How to obtain Hooplano is quite difficult, to obtain Hooplano; you must have both Hooplina and Hoopa on your team and head over to an unmarked island with a cave that’s been blocked by a boulder, on that boulder is a seal, so you must remove the seal and the boulder will turn into sand, once the cave is open; Hooplano will come out and rather than the Nakamon befriending you; you’ll have to fight it, and once you win; bring out your Hooplina and Hoopa to sympathize and redeem Hooplano, and yeah that’s how you catch a Hooplano.

(But in most cases; people don’t use both Hoopa or Hooplina, most people just use one or the other.)

+++++++

[thewebcomicsreview]

The Promotion

For the first time in the five years, the Burnmax Deadly Acid Factory whirred to life. After OSHA found out that none of the catwalks over the coverless vats of acid had guard rails, the factory had been shut down so fast they never even drained the tanks, which still burbled threateningly. Murderize wasn't sure if it was actually still dangerous. It made sense to him that Deadly Acid left out in the open would turn bad, like milk, but if the new boss wanted the mayor's daughter slowly lowered into a vat of acid, he wasn't going to say no to a paycheck. Times had been tough for henchmen ever since the new crew of masks hit town. His old crew, Mutilate and Comeuppance, were stuck in the Asylum now, and he was lucky to get a C-list criminal like Doctor Funkenstein to work for, even if the pay was worse and the bell-bottoms looked dumb and the free-love orgies had to be cancelled because there weren't any girls. Still beat working for Catboy.

The mayor's daughter, Barbara Whatsherface, was doing a good job of being tied up and screaming, though. Sometimes you'd kidnap a woman and she'd just cry or something and sticking her in a deathtrap got awkward. Non-consensual actors rarely stuck to their roles, not that Muderize cared, but the bosses always got mad when it happened. God forbid a big dramatic crime have victims who didn't resist being murdered in a fun way. "MMMMM! MMMMM!" screamed the mayor's daughter through her gag. It was real convincing, which was one of the advantages of using real victims and actually trying to kill them.

Doctor Funkenstein flipped the switch. "It's Alive! Alive! But soon, my dear, you won't be!" he said, which was a bit weak. He was clearly more committed to the "Funk" than the "enstein" of his gimmick. A tall lanky man in a purple suit and labcoat with a large disco ball for a head, Funkenstein was kind of a terrible boss to work with. Not deadly enough to be thrilling, not funny enough to be a good time, not quite thematically cohesive enough to get the good headlines. He'd been working on this rebrand for weeks, and hoped it would get him the success so many had expected of him two years ago. Murderize was unconvinced, but he wasn't paid to think. The mayor's daughter was halfway down. Murderize flicked his cigarette into an acid vat and unbuttoned his shirt. If the good guys wanted to save dear sweet Brenda or whatever, they were running out of time. Sometimes you actually got away with crimes and then you got to go home early.

CRASH!

Glass rained down from the broken skylight as the Wonder Five dropped in to save the day. Damn it.

Wonder Red landed on the catwalk before him. The founder and the leader of the group, he was still a dork in his red spandex onesie and motorcycle helmet. Wonder Red had hoped the other Wondernauts would change their names to be Wonder Blue and the like, but none of them did, and he just looked like a cosplayer who wandered into an actual superteam by mistake.

"Disco is dead, Doctor Funkenstein", said Wonder Red, "And so are your plans for world domination!"

"You're the one who's dead, Dunder Red", shouted Doctor Funkenstein, "For you've walked straight into my Saturday Night Deathtrap!". He leaned back, and lasers spewed in all directions from his disco ball head.

Muderize let the leaders have their fun. With hero teams as with villains, the henchmen were the ones doing the real work. Already Snakes flew into the mayors daughter, cutting the ropes with his teeth and he carried her off to safety. When Already Snakes flew off with your girl, you were never getting her back, so Muderize fired his Disco Gun (which was just a glock with glitter on it) at Animal Cracker, who cracked some birds into existence in the path of the bullets.

The birds disappeared in a puff of smoke, which hid Animal Cracker, but Murderize had fought these guys enough times to know AC liked to land an elephant on people, and ran out of the way. The elephant slammed into the ground, broke its legs, and poofed out of existence. AC dropped gracefully to the ground, and threw up a Gorilla Shield fast enough to block the second and third bullets Murderize fired, but not the first one, which grazed his arm. As the gorilla poofed, AC jumped behind a one of the acid vats. Shooting a giant vat of acid was a rookie move, so Murderize took cover himself. The two women members of the Wonder Five were busy with the other henches. Pink Moon had managed to pick out the rookies and was doing the "Oh no, I'm a poor defenseless girl what will I do" act, which every henchman fell for the first time. The smarter henches were left to Sorcera.

Murderize suddenly realized that a whole entire hero was dedicated to fighting just him. He tried not to get emotional about it, but if the Wonder Five had elevated him in their minds from henchman to miniboss, that could open up all kinds of career opportunities for him, especially having scored a wound.

Of course, scoring a kill, even against Animal Cracker, would do even more. He shook himself a little to get his head back in the game. AC had been hiding behind that vat for too long. He was up to something.

He barely had time to finish thinking before a murder of crows shot out from both sides of the barrel. He knew that Animal Cracker's animals got weaker the more of them he summoned, and that just the sound of a gunshot would be enough to dispel them. This was a distraction, AC wanted him to fire wildly at the birds from a distance. He was too smart for that. He waited for the birds to get close before firing, and made sure to aim his gun away from the acid tank while keeping an eye on it to make sure Animal Cracker didn't bail. Bang. One shot, and all the birds poofed into a big cloud.

A big cloud directly on top of him, obscuring his vision. Shit. He coughed, and tried to see which way the inevitable charging rhino would come from so he could dodge it. He didn't see it. He felt it, though. Hurt just as bad as the last time he got Rhino'd. He flew into a piece of machinery, and collapsed to the ground in pain. He blindly groped for his gun, but the only thing he felt was Animal Cracker slapping the cuffs on.

"I tagged you, though", said Murderize, as AC finished handcuffing him. AC said nothing, but there was no denying the nasty gash on his shoulder. "Gotta report that".

Animal Cracker sighed. "Yeah, yeah". Above them, the music stopped. Seemed like Doctor Funkenstein's Dancing Queen's Gambit had failed. He's barely lasted longer in a fight than Murderize himself did, even if it was against the star.

"You gotta tell 'em. Come on! You gotta tell 'em Murderize tagged you!"

"I'm not your PR guy, man"

"Come on, make me look cool and it'll make you look cooler for beating me. We both win!"

"You know how you could really win? By giving up a life of crime"

"Bro. C'mon. Bro".

There was a long pause. Socera broke it, swooping down with six experienced henchmen tied up behind her in magical ropes. Pink Moon was with her, carrying eight rookies in a net. "Yo, AC. You only got one?", Sorcera said, smirking.

Animal Cracker looked at Murderize for a moment, then at Pink Moon, before turning to Sorcera. "This isn't just a henchman, Sorcera. This is Murderize. He's.....he's a mini-boss". He pointed at the gash in his arm "Tagged me and everything"

Murderize looked down at the ground, trying not to let Sorcera see him smile

[obsidiansashimi]

2, 4 ;), 18

Meme | Accepting!

Their emotional/moral weak points (answered)

◤ “I… I don’t know.” ◢

Best places to kiss on their body (answered)

◤ “Another– Ask my fiancé.” Horror dawns on his face. “Wait, no, don’t do that, he might get cocky. Uh– forehead, there.” ◢

Things they’ll never admit

◤ I don’t think I’ll ever understand what people see in me that makes them think I’m worth their time and I live in constant fear that they’ll realize I’m not and leave me. “If I’ll never admit it, why do I have to answer?” ◢

[probablybadrpgideas]

Tome of Sorcera: a book that, once per day when opened, summons a random (1d8) Michael Cera to aid you for 1 hour. All Michael Ceras share the same basic stat block, but provide an extra buff:

1: Scott Pilgrim Michael Cera gives you +1 to all rolls for anything you’ve previously done in a video game.

2: Arrested Development Michael Cera busts out his note block to help you keep time. +2 to any performance checks.

3: Superbad Michael Cera critiques your fake ID, metaphorically speaking. Gain +2 to any deception checks.

4: Lego Batman Movie Michael Cera allows you to climb vertical surfaces at half movement speed and grants +1 each to both athletics and acrobatics.

5: Molly’s Game Michael Cera grants you advantage on any rolls relating to gambling.

6: Juno Michael Cera grants +2 to athletics, because track team.

7: Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist Michael Cera provides +2 to investigation. Turns out he learned a thing or two tracking down that Where’s Fluffy? Gig

8: The Is The End Michael Cera is such an asshole that any hostile creatures are forced to target him for their next attack.

9: Year One Michael Cera hunts and/or gathers a meal for the whole party, providing 1d2 rations to all members.

10: Youth in Revolt Michael Ceras allow you to reroll twice for double the Cera action.

[childlikemermaid]

leia wants the h~

5.  Far too long since we’ve seen each otherThe cove was often quiet. Pia’s roommate spent a lot of her time on land and that left the pink-haired mermaid to swim the cove alone. She didn’t mind it all that much, it gave her a lot of time to think and play with her fish friends, but sometimes all she wanted to was talk to someone like her.

For today’s plans there wasn’t a good enough reason to visit the islands, so Pia decided to redecorate her home with the sparkling rocks and gems that came to the cove naturally. She often did this two or three times a day to pass the time.

“Huh?”

She turned to the front entrance when she heard her name from a familiar voice.

“LEIA!”

Hands clasped together in front of her chest, Pia squealed. She swam over to the emerald-haired mermaid and swept her up in a big hug and spun her in the water, giggling as she did so.

“I missed you soooo much~! It’s been a long time!”

[ashonthemountain-blog]

Ash (i had to), Summer, and Bonfire

Ash: Do you have any birthmarks/scars?

Ash has a small patch of a birthmark on his lower back, something that’s always been there. He likes to think it looks like a cow but everyone else tells him it’s just a splotch.

Summer: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Ash isn’t that into doing wild things, but the craziest thing he’s ever done is give a bunch of chickens digestive biscuits and release them onto the house of a guy who was bullying his sister! Poor, poor guy.

Bonfire: What’s one thing you lost that you want back?

If there was anything in the world that Ash could have back, he would want his father back. He misses him dearly and constantly reminiscences on the memories that they had together. He only hopes that somehow, his father could be brought back to life but alas, his magic skill cannot go that far.

[minoritachi-blog]

Rock, Plant, and Breeze

Rock: What’s your favourite gemstone?Rubies! 

Plant: What, in your opinion, is your best aspect?Minori would definitely say her determination and passion. When she has a goal in mind, Minori won’t stop until she’s accomplished it. She works really hard and doesn’t let anything - or anyone - get in her way.

Breeze: What’s your favourite dessert food? Generally, she likes anything with lots of different fruit; Cakes with fruit on top, berry crisps, parfaits... If she had to pick a favorite, it would probably be strawberry pie or strawberry shortcake.

[thepelagoislands]

oh yeah you can take me off hiatus

Alright! Welcome back~

[carosellocafe]

Bubble, Toil, & Trouble || Pandora & Iluka

❀ @pandora-the-sorcera ❀

Nothing sanitary came to mind when Iluka heard of the bathhouse called Laga Springs. She had never been to one before, but from the sounds of it there are two separate pools for each gender that everyone bathed in - not something she was a fan of. Sure, the place was probably cleaned spotless, but who knew where those strangers were before they came to relax in the same water as a couple dozen others. Regardless of the fact, she wanted to check the place out for herself.

             “Haronga? Hello?”

She waited a few minutes, rapidly growing impatient. Maybe it was the thought of taking the chance in these pools or the fact that she’s not a fan of waiting. Either way, she was hoping that someone would show up and quickly.

[castcharmperson]

Speed Trap: Part VI

[Start]

Our thrilling conclusion!

The ride to the station was longer than Taako remembered it being and terrifyingly quiet. Neither of the real officers said anything and Taako was certainly not about to start talking. Unless, shoot, he was supposed to state that he was enacting his fifth amendment right, right? He opened his mouth to do so but sighed instead, slumping in the back seat. What was the point? Lup was never going to forgive him for this. Prison might actually be better.

She parked the squad car and muttered something to her coworker, before taking Taako out herself. She was surprisingly gentle, but the distance between them was painful as she led him by the elbow past the lobby. They went into a side room, sat in opposite chairs across a metal table, and she started filling out paperwork.

“So.” She finally looked at him. Her eyes were still rimmed red.

“Lulu-”

She shook her head, lips pursed with barely contained fury that melted away into something so much worse. “None of that,” she said with a forced calm that hurt to hear.

“Okay.” He tried to get comfortable in the metal chair with the metal cuffs behind his back but it was hopeless.

“How-” Lup’s voice cracked and she started again. “How long has this been going on?”

“A while.”

“Taako.”

“Started back in September, I think.”

She sucked in a breath through her teeth and scribbled down his answer. She looked at him again and it was like there was smoke in his lungs. “Since you got the promotion.”

Taako was the first to break eye contact. “I, uh, didn’t get promoted.”

She didn’t respond, just waited him out. She probably already knew the answer, just what he’d said was enough of a confession, but she wanted to hear it.

“I got fired.”

The bark of laughter startled him. “So you get fired and, what? Join a fucking gang? What is wrong with you!” She stood suddenly, but he leaned forward, trying to match her as she paced around the small room.

“Why the fuck does everyone think I’m working with the crazy twins? No, I’m not in a gang! I literally only ran into them last night. I’ve just been committing a little fraud.”

“A little? Taako, this isn’t- Fuck, you just confessed. You can’t keep a job and you can’t even run a con right!”

“I was fucking amazing at running a con for half a year and I-” He wasn’t sure how they started shouting at each other, but he was the first to stop. “Lup. Please, I’ll give back all the money if that’s what this is about.”

She sat back down, slumped over with her head in her hands. “Taako,” she sighed and looked at him again. He forced himself to keep looking at her. “If it were up to me, I’d let you off easy. Community service, fines, that kind of thing. But it is literally so not up to me, it’s laughable. There’s probably going to be a trial, you’ll have to convince a lot of people who aren’t your goddamn sister who loves you, you fucking idiot. I would have helped you if you needed money, you know that.”

“Lulu-”

“No!” She slammed her hands on the table and he jumped. She looked guilty, but pushed on, voice soft again. “I can’t help you anymore. I’m a suspect, Taako. You took my uniform, learned the police codes from me while I was studying, lived in the same damn house with me while you did all this and I had no fucking clue!” Her voice was breaking again and Taako had to look away.

She took a deep breath and stood. Taako heard retreating footsteps and the door opening. “I’ll put in a good word,” Lup whispered, before closing the door and leaving him alone.

“Go easy on him, please.” He heard her say as the door opened again. “He’s all I have.”

He had a moment to smile to himself. How mad could she be, if she’d still consider him family? The two of them had cut people out of their lives for less. They were always a duo, no matter how much trouble they dragged each other into. Maybe a few years away, doing the proper time for his crimes, and Taako could come back and everything would be fine.

“Well, you really didn’t want to follow any of the laws, did you? What, officers still weren’t attractive enough?”

“Oh my god, no. No, you do not get to decide my fate, are you kidding me?” Taako scowled as Kravitz closed the door behind himself and strolled into the room.

“Well, I don’t decide it. A jury of your peers will. You know, through the legal system. The system you basically spat on for the last six months.”

“You can cut the accent, Kravitz.”

“You should really be calling me Officer Queen.” At least he dropped the fake Cockney. “Or sir, if you’re feeling cheeky.”

Kravitz sat across from him, spinning the chair Lup had just been in to straddle his legs around the back. Taako had to laugh, at a loss for any other kind of reaction. “God, you think you’re so cool right now, don’t you? Don’t even try, my guy. I know you. You’re a flustered pretty boy, with stupid accents and a weakness for sugar cookies. Don’t act like you’re in control right now.”

“Oh, but I am.” Kravitz leaned forward, absolutely leering. “You know, with that nice little confession you just gave, they might let you off easy. It’s a ten year minimum for impersonating an officer in this district. If you want to go to trial, well, I might have to bring up arson, bribing an officer, money laundering, sexual harassment-”

“Woah, okay, the arson was not my fault. And we both know that was not harassment, Officer Queen. I may be an idiot criminal but I have eyes. I’ve seen how you look at me.”

Kravitz rolled his eyes, but Taako could see a blush creeping across his cheeks. “If you go to trial, you will lose. That’s a fifteen year minimum and a fine that will put you even further in debt than you were before this whole con act started. You can kiss your bakery goodbye.”

“It’s a cafe,” Taako grumbled. He’d already sort of accepted that fate. Lup wouldn’t be able to run it, not with her job, if she was even able to keep that after all Taako had ruined. And everyone else he knew would burn down the kitchen before being able to make anything edible. Still stung to be reminded of all he was going to lose, though.

“However,” Kravitz’s playful tone throughout all of this had bordered on cruel in Taako’s opinion, but now there was a shift. Some conspiratal about it. “You really should thank Ms. Mol’Diira. You think my accent is bad? She noticed pretty early on that there was a similarity in the very fake voices you were using every time you called, so she started keeping track of what you called in. In fact, she’s credited you with more successful dangerous driving arrests than any other officer in the district.”

“Really?” Taako’s face scrunched up even as his shoulders lost some of the tension they were holding. “You guys suck at your job.”

Kravitz laughed. “Well, most of our officers are focused on bigger cases. Such as that kidnapping you got entangled with. We got a statement from a, uh, Cameron Sorcera. Sound familiar? He described someone who matches your description. Says you saved his life. Taako, for a fake cop, you’ve got almost as much potential as Lup did when she joined the force.”

Taako barked out a short laugh, his smile like a knife. “Don’t insult my sister like that.”

Kravitz’s brows knitted together for only a moment. “I’m serious. What you did last night was nothing short of heroic.”

The silence that settled over the interrogation room was unsettling, but Kravitz seemed comfortable in it. Taako supposed it was his job after all. He wished he could enjoy the irony about this man; at ease against dangerous criminals but flustered by a flirting pastry chef.

“Look, I’m not a hero.” The word tasted sour in Taako’s mouth. “But I’m not a monster. I couldn’t just stand by while people got away with all the shit they did.”

Kravitz nodded, like he’d been expecting that answer. How? He hardly knew Taako and what he did know was not worthy of whatever that thoughtful look was on that handsome face. “I’m sure you know your sister is taking leave for the next two months.”

“Yeah.” Fuck, she and Barold had been planning that trip for months. Courthouse marriage and then all the ‘sorry we can’t attend the wedding’ gift money from distant relatives was going to be dumped into the most epic honeymoon imaginable. With all the trouble Taako had stirred up, there’s no way she’d be able to go.

“I’ll be down my best officer. And the Wendor case, which has been cold for months, finally has a lead. Plus, she’s taking Civilian Officer Bluejeans and he does more paperwork here than everyone else combined- we’ll be swamped while they’re gone.”

“Wait,” Taako tilted his head. Something didn't add up. “Lup said she was a suspect. They’re not going to let her out of the state.”

Kravitz returned to that playful grin, too handsome to possibly be legal no matter which side of the law he was on. “‘They’ who? The only person of authority who knows about your little stunt is me.”

Taako wished he could say he was distracted. Wished he had some kind of reason for his confusion. He wasn’t even lost staring at those perfectly plush lips smiling at him. No, he had heard every word, but still didn’t understand. He just sat there, slack jawed and staring at Kravitz, who leaned across the table, giving a stage whisper.

“Here’s my offer. If you can pass the written officer’s exam, manage all of Bluejean’s paperwork, and cease any and all criminal activity, I will allow you to serve your sentence for the next two months as a probationary officer instead of the next ten years behind bars.”

“You… You can’t do that? What happened to a jury of my peers? To the respect for the legal system? You can’t just play the law however you want. You’re one guy. And you’re not even a judge.”

Kravitz gave a dark chuckle, leaning back and seeming to lounge in the rigid metal chair. “That’s funny. What exactly have you been doing the past six months?”

Taako gave a reluctant nod.

“So, you want to take this to court? Or do we have a deal?”

“You’re really serious.”

“Not for long, though.” Kravitz looked to his wrist, but he wasn’t even wearing a watch. “I’ve got a meeting with the district supervisor in ten minutes, so make your decision.”

“Is there a catch?”

“It’s a lot of paperwork.”

“And only two months?”

“I might consider an extended position if you follow the rules.”

“Why me?”

Again, Kravitz’s eyebrows creased towards each other, confusion and concern mixed in a beautiful twist, though he willed the expression away as fast as it came. “Well, I can’t exactly get my free drink if you never open your cafe.”

Whatever Taako felt at those flippant words didn’t feel real. Nothing about any of this felt real. It was like something fantastical and fictional was bubbling up inside him like a colorful, magical glow. Distantly, he thought the feeling might be hysteria. This whole situation, the entire last six months and certainly the last twenty-four hours, were too impossible to really get a grip on. Laughter tumbled out of him and Taako mirrored Kravitz’s lounged pose, as much as the handcuffs twisting his arms behind him would allow.

“Huh, so mister high and mighty law man is willing to let crime slide by for a pretty face. Bet I really could have gotten out of that ticket if you let me suck your--” The sound of Kravitz’s chair screeching across the tile was enough to stop him, so the finger pressed against his mouth seemed unnecessary. Especially with Kravitz half lunged across the table to place it there.

Despite the deep flush across his face, Officer Queen managed to keep his voice forceful. “If you make a single sexual remark towards me again, if you so much as look at my ass once I’m out of this room, I will end this entire thing and you will go to jail.”

He should be concerned. Taako should pay attention to Kravitz’s warning, should take this strange, hail Mary deal and keep on the straight and narrow for the rest of eternity. But he was neither straight nor narrow, and all of this still seemed like a fever dream.

It was too easy to stick his tongue out and lick upwards along Kravitz’s finger. The officer jolted his hand back at the slick sensation, but didn’t unsprawl himself from over the table. It was a cute look on him, horrified at the situation and horrified at his own interest all at once.

“What?” Taako grinned. “You said we started once you were out of the room.”

[Part Five]

So yeah, I imagine this fic sort of like a pilot episode. Throughout the season, they chase criminals, wrap up this case with the Wonderland twins, and fall in love with each other. Maybe in season two, Lup and Barry come back and it’s the full on reaper squad. Idk.

Thanks so much for reading! If you liked it, drop by my askbox and let me know!

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

==>

WHO IS DIS EXTRAVAGANT BITCH.

IS SHE PARTLY A ROBOT. SORT OF LIKE ME. OH, SIZZY SIZZAY TA BE AN ARTIST TOO. ALSO LIKE ME.

DID SIZZY DRIZZAY HERSELF like old skool shit?? I D-TO-THA-IZZON'T SIZNEE HOW THAT POSSIBLE. TRIPPIN' SHIZNE BE FICTIONAL. AS WELL AS A GIRL. SIZNOME OTHA VERIZZLE SKILLIZZLE DRAFTSMAN MUST HAVE DRIZZAY IT. BUT HOW DID HE MAKE IT LIZZLE LIKE SHE BE COM'N OUT OF THE PAPA? W-H-TO-THA-IZZEN I TIZZY THA BOOK. THIZNE IMIZZLE STAYS FLAT. AND THA ILLUSION BE EXPOZE'. I WONDA IF THA SORCERA OF DIS SO CALLED "MANGA" REVEALS THA NATURE OF HIS WIZARDRIZZLE INSIDE THA TOME.

WHIZZY BE THA FRIENDLY BITCH LOOK'N AT ME LIKE THAT. WITH THA LARGE GLASSY EYES, N SHINY FACE. IT'S MAK'N ME HAVE WEIRD FEEL'N 'N MAH BODY.

I HIZNAVE TA PUT DIS DOWN.

> ==>

[booksbeforesustenance]

Stop Minions 2017 || Aquaticus & Pandora

@pandora-the-sorcera

Aquaticus walked through Arcadia towards the library, wondering what books he should begin reading that day. The previous day, he had read a lot of historically inaccurate historical books, and he was beginning to grow bored learning of how mortals planned to rewrite history this century. He began thinking of what contemporary works he could pursue today when someone suddenly stood in his way. He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow as he sensed the kind of aura she had. Powerful. 

However, despite that interesting observation, she was standing in his way and refused to budge.

“What?” Aquaticus looked down on her with a bored expression. What could this being possibly want?