#sorry OP I don’t mean to offend you

[barefoothighlander]

absolution - to be alone

-simon ‘ghost’ riley x wife!reader

-warnings: mdni (18+) angst, canon typical violence, death, kidnapping, mentions of blood

-word count: 3.5k

-summary: the secret of your marriage gets out and you and Ghost have to deal with the consequences

prev chapter masterlist

a/n: fair bit of violence this chapter, apologies that it took so long to write I’m having insane writers block, not proofread

“What do you mean Price knows” His voice was calm, he never yelled at you but for some reason you wished he was. His stoic state making you even more nervous,

“I had to tell him Simon he knew something was up”

“He didn’t know shit”

“Whatever he did, or didn’t know, or thought he knew, it doesn’t matter. He knows now, he understands why we didn’t tell him but atleast that weights of our chest”

“It’s not off our chest, what happens when he had to put it in our files? When he accidentally let’s slip that we’re married?”

“He wouldn’t do that”

“And you know that how?”

“Because you trust him, you’ve trusted him for years”

“Yea well the people you trust can hurt you the most” He says, standing to leave the room,

“Simon please, I’m sorry”

“It doesn’t matter now”

He closes the door and your emotions hit you, you regret everything about your decision to go to Price, but the sinking feeling in your chest wouldn’t let up until you told him. He had been surprised at first, he just assumed that the two of you were hooking up, he had no idea that you were married let alone knew each other prior to the mission, your file had pages about your previous ops but none mentioned the Lieutenant. Price was understanding in your secrecy, a little offended that Simon didn’t trust him with the knowledge but understanding none the less, he promised to keep it from the team no matter what and that was good enough for you.

Simon on the other hand wanted to wring the Captains neck, he could try to threaten him into sworn secrecy but he knew it wouldn’t work, he was furious. His only rule for your relationship being that it stayed between the two of you, and now it was compromised, yes he trusted Price with his life, but not with yours.

Simon marched his way to Prices office, his hands clenched at him sides as he knocked on the door, opening it once he heard the Captains voice.

“Simon”

“Sir”

“I understand congratulations are in order”

“Don’t”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You know why”

“I’ve read everything in your file, i know about your past, your family”

Simon winces at the mention

“You can trust me with this son”

“You need to take her off the op”

“You know you can’t make that request”

“I’m not asking as her Lieutenant”

“She’s an imperative part to this op”

“Find another sniper”

Before Price can respond Simon breezes out of the room, a cloud of fury following behind him as he storms through the halls to his shacks. He releases a deep breath, pulling his mask from his head once he’s inside. He felt betrayed, a vow as sacred as the ones you made the day you got married and you had broken it, technically he understood why, you were never great under pressure from higher ranks, he knew you couldn’t keep a lot of things to yourself given all the gossip you had told him over the years, but he trusted you with this.

He feared for you mostly, he knew he was in danger everyday, he had enemies across the globe and if word got out that you were married, a big red target would paint itself on your back. He didn’t want to think of the things his enemies would do to you in order to get to him, it made his stomach churn.

You stand in your quarters, thinking of all the things you could say, how you could apologize, and nothing comes to mind. You understand the weight of your decision but you’ve had people trying to kill your for years, you’ve made enemies of your own, you huff a breath holding yourself high.

You walk down the halls to Simons quarters before Price calls you into his office,

“Yes sir?”

“I have a favour to ask”

“Sir if it’s anything about my private life I ask that you keep it to yourself”

“It’s nothing about that Strider, trust I’ll keep that information confidential”

You nod “What do you need”

“I need recon on the building, you’re the only one with training that suits the op”

“Are you sure”

“I need the others here, you’re my only option Sargent”

“When do you need me”

“You have 3 hours to prep, a car will drop you at your view point and you’re alone from there, it’s a 3 day op but you’ll have comms”

“You need me to watch for three days?”

“There’s intel stating a transfer will occur within the week, I need your eyes to track movement”

“So no engagement”

“You do not have execute authority”

You nod, “Okay”

You leave his office, your argument with Simon gone from your mind, replaced with the anxiety of your mission. You approach his door and knock, you hear shuffling in the room before he opens it.

“Hi”

He opens the door to let you in, his head leaking out to make sure the hallways were clear. You glance around the room, his desk is a mess with open pages,

“You’re writing again?”

“Just, had some stuff I needed to get out”

“Si”

“I don’t want to fight about it, what’s done is done”

“Okay.. I’m leaving for a few days”

“What do you mean? You’re going home?”

“No”

He raises an eyebrow in question,

“Solo recon”

“Absolutely not”

“Simon please”

“Is he trying to punish me for not telling him about us?”

“What are you talking about”

“He’s sending you out alone, to punish me”

“Simon no one’s punishing you, this is the reason Price asked for me”

“I don’t want you out there with no backup”

“I’ll have comms to the base, I won’t be close enough for them to get anywhere near me”

Simon’s skin heats with anger, you move toward him, hands holding his at his side as you try to calm him.

“I’ll do this, then i’ll go home” You say with a heavy breath. You feel his muscles loosen slightly, his head moving down so his eyes can stare into yours, those dark orbs so full of emotion.

“Three days” He says and you nod, bringing your cheek to rest against his chest, his hands moving to roam your back.

“Three days and i’m back home”

“Safe” He mutters, his arms holding you against him.

You leave Simons room a few minutes later, bidding your goodbyes before moving to your quarters to pack your gear. You have 20 minutes before you have to meet your car, you’re breathing deeply, the mission wasn’t rare to you, spending time alone peering from rooftops was practically half your job in your last team, but being there, knowing Simon was only so far away. You knew he risked his life every time he left, you never asked the details, you didn’t want to stress about every little thing, this felt different, you were so close yet so far apart, you throw your bag over your shoulder and walk towards the outer doors.

Ghost is standing beside the car, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What are you doing here”

“I’m driving you, Captain owed me a favour”

You scoff at him jokingly before loading into the vehicle, as the two of you drive off. Your position wasn’t that far, about a 40 minute drive till you got dropped off and had to walk the rest of the way.

“Keep channel 4 open, that’s where you’ll contact me”

“I’m only supposed to talk to Price”

“Keep it open” He says with a glare, his gloved hand moving to rest on your thigh. You watch the terrain pass you by as you keep driving, dry mountains breezing past your eyesight. You arrive at an dirt road and Ghost turns the engine off, he sits silently for a few minutes, his free hand roaming across the wheel before you turn your body, taking his hand in yours.

“It’ll be okay”

“I know”

“I’m very good at what I do”

“I know that too”

“I’ll see you in three days”

He huffs a breath and nods, hands moving to pull his mask up slightly before leaning in to kiss you, he holds your cheek deepening the kiss before pulling back and resting his forehead against yours.

“Just be careful”

You squeeze his hand tenderly before stepping out of the car and grabbing your gear.

“I love you” You say

“I love you too doll”

You begin walking away, while Ghosts sits in the car until your figure fades from view, there was nothing he could do now but leave, he had to trust you.

Your walk was harsh, the dry terrain mixed with the beaming sun doing damage to your lungs, huffing your way across the ground before you made it to the small city, navigating around back alleys. You locate your view point, climbing an outer ladder to reach the top, sneaking into an open window where you position yourself, your scope settling on the target building in the distance.

“Alpha leader this is Strider how copy?”

“Good copy Strider, are you in position”

“Affirm”

“Alright, keep eyes, take note of any movement in or out, I want a head count”

“Copy, out”

You settle in to your position, eyes locked onto the building for signs of movement. Hours pass without anyone going in or out, you’ve traded your scope for spotting binoculars as the sun went down slowly, the warm air encompassing you in the abandoned building. No movement anywhere that you could see, no cars, no people, you had no idea what you were looking for.

Night falls and you have to toss your visionary aids aside, relying on trying to spot lights from the building, there’s a single room illuminated, you can see through the window but you can’t make out any bodies. You return to your scope in hopes of recognizing someone in the room, watching but you see no shadows or movement.

“Strider how copy?” Ghosts voice rings through your comms.

“Hey babe”

“Keep it professional, may have prying ears”

“Copy”

“You alright”

“No movement, getting bored”

“Bored is better than dead”

You huff a laugh, “That’s true”

“How are things on base?”

“Price wants us shipping out in the morning”

“So you’ll be gone when I get back”

“Most likely”

“Alright” You try to hide the sadness in your voice

“He thinks the mission should be finished within the the next weeks”

“Oh”

“I’ll be home with you before you know it”

“I’ll be waiting”

“I have to go, be safe”

“I love you Simon”

“I’ll see you at home”

You smile, only a handful of days and you’d be back home, safe with your husband, not worrying about the state of his life, just enjoying being with eachother.

“Strider this is Price”

“Sir”

“Reports of a convoy moving near your position, do you have eyes”

You take a minute too look around, your scope landing on a group of trucks passing by a road.

“Copy, count 5 vehicles”

“Are they carrying anything”

“Negative, doesn’t look to be any cargo”

“What about people”

“Count maybe 17 men, all armed”

“Do you see our hostage”

“Sir I thought this was recon”

“Do you have eyes Strider”

You look around, “Sir is that?”

“Affirm, you see her?”

“Affirm Sir, I have eyes on the hostage, she’s bound, they’re moving her into the house”

“Copy, keep watch, do not engage under any circumstances”

“Copy Sir”

Your comms go silent as you watch the scene in front of you, a middle aged woman with blonde hair has her arms bound behind her, a cloth mask over her eyes as the group of men force her towards the building before disappearing inside. You aim your scope at the windows, trying to get a view but all the curtains are drawn, you can vaguely make out shadows passing by.

You watch as the figures look by the windows, they sit the women down in a chair, 3 men gathered around her. You can’t make anything out, adjusting your scope to get a closer look before your eyes sting from the light, one of the men had opened the curtains to look outside, leaving them that way, enough space for you to get a clear view.

They’re yelling something, speaking to each other, you watch the woman tremble and flinch every time one of them shouts. You know your orders but every bone in your body is urging you to help.

“Sir permission to assist”

“Negative, do not interfere”

“Captain they’re going to kill her”

“Your orders are to watch Sargent”

“Sir”

“Do not engage”

You think over your options, your instincts taking over, fuck it I’m off the team either way.

You race down the side of the building, disassembling your rifle for close range shots, your legs are moving faster than your mind as you sprint towards the building, you find a high point and settle into the grass. There’s atleast 15 hostiles in the building, you scope around, 7 outside scattered, you can pick them off.

“Strider, report”

“Sorry Sir”

You take your ear piece out, with a deep breath you push yourself from the ground, hastily moving through the darkness, advancing towards the house. You make your way around the back, pulling out your knife, one man turns the corner and you grab him, digging your knife into the side of his neck as his body drops.

You make your way around the perimeter, killing them one by one, your breath heavy for the exertion. You find the last man, your hand moving to cover his mouth as you slice his throat, the blood pouring from his wound coating your skin seven down, eight to go. Your whole body feels sticky, covered in a layer of blood, sweat and dirt as you wipe off your knife, putting it away in favour of your sidearm.

You attach the silencer and open the front doors, immediately firing off two rounds into the heads of the men.

six

You turn your body, peering around corners, there’s one in the kitchen.

five

You clear the bottom floor, slowly inching up the stairs, one at the top and you shoot him, his body falls down the steps, landing with a thud, you pray it wasn’t loud enough to alert anyone. You start upstairs, clearing the rooms, two are arguing in the office.

two left.

You clear the rest of the area, making your way to the large bedroom at the end of the hall, even through the men arguing you can hear Prices yells through your comms.

You take a breath, counting your bullets, you had three left. You open the door firing one off into the head of the man in front of you, the woman in the chair screaming as the shot rings through the air.

You move to fire at the other man but he grabs your hand, you miss. He pushes you to the ground, your bodies fighting for control as his weight pins you, your arms reach for your gun as his hands grasp around your throat. You’re thrashing under him trying to throw him off, choking for air as he tightens his grip.

Your vision spotty as you lose strength,

“Strider! Get out now!” Ghosts voice comes through your comms, enough to bring you back as your fingers feel for your weapon, grabbing it and hitting it against the man’s temple. He releases you, stumbling over your body as you brave yourself and shoot, his body falls onto you with a thud, his blood pooling around your head as you gasp for air.

You use all your strength to push him off, steadying yourself before stepping towards the woman, she’s writhing against her constraints.

“It’s okay, you’re safe, i’m gonna get you out”

You slowly pull the mask from her eyes, they’re bloodshot and pooled with tears.

“I’m with Captain Price, I’m gonna get you home”

She’s a wreck of choked sobs as you cut her constraints, her body falls against you as you hold her up, walking her out. She’s looking around as the mess of bodies, clinging to you as you descent the stairs.

You exit the building, walking slowly in tandem with her as you reach a patch of grass tall enough for cover.

“Here, sit down” You hand her a small bottle of water and she takes it with shaky hands, gulping down the liquid before settling.

“Thank you”

“Does she know you’re here” You ask

The woman nods, “She watched them take me”

Your hand moves to slowly caress her arm, a small attempt to comfort her.

“Price”

“Sergeant you better have a goddamn explanation”

“I have the hostage, she’s safe”

Price signs deeply, “Are you hurt”

“Negative”

“Get her to the city, we’ll extract from there”

“Copy Sir”

You sit for a while, allowing the woman to compose herself before you help her up, the two of you making your way back to the streets of Panama.

The noise was overwhelming, a stark contrast from the silence you kept the last 24 hours, you find an old building, smashing the window to access the door lock before guiding her in.

“Shouldn’t be long”

She nods

“Does she know I’m safe, does Kate know?”

“I don’t think so”

“Okay”

Ghosts voice calls through your earpiece, “Strider, what’s you position”

“In an old building, northeast end of the city, there’s a small restaurant across the street”

“Copy, closing in”

You wait in silence, the sound of tires passing over dirt grabs your attention, you move to the window to look outside. You see Price and Ghost exit the car, looking around for hostiles, you move back to settle at the woman’s side,

“Okay” You touch her shoulder

“Monica, my names Monica”

“Okay Monica, my team is here, they’re gonna bring you back to our base where the doctor will check you out, then we’ll get you home”

“You trust them?”

“With my life”

She nods, you lock your arms under her shoulders, helping her to stand as the two men enter the building, dropping their weapons when they spot you.

“Jesus christ Strider, did you kill then all yourself”

“Something like that”

Price takes over hold on Monica, helping her to the car as Simon stands in front of you, his eyes staring daggers.

“Si”

“I don’t want to hear it, you’ll go home tonight”

“What, I have to make sure she’s safe”

“The team will take over, you disobeyed direct orders. You’re going home Sargent”

You stand to argue but he just turns and leaves, you’re alone in your anger before you walk to the car, settling in beside Monica in the back as Price turns the engine on. The ride was dead silent, not a word exchanged between the four of you, Monica had stopped shaking by the time you arrived back at base.

You help her out of the car, moving to help her inside before Price stops you,

“Your flights in two hours, be on deck before then”

You stare at him, unable to hide the disappointment in your face as you walk to the medical wing. You get Monica settled in to the bed and she falls asleep almost instantly, the stress taking a toll on her body. You sit with her for a few minutes, ensuring that she was okay before you move to your room to shower.

The water runs red as you wash the blood from your skin, feeling like you could finally breath, you need to talk to Simon but you don’t know what to say. You know if you leave base angry it won’t do you any good, he didn’t do well with emotions, he’d bottle them up before even dating to expose himself.

You spend some time packing your things, making sure to grab everything, your hands toying with the ring around your neck making your way to the plane deck.

Simon is standing in front of your plane, you move to him with regret in your eyes, your arms wrapping to envelop him but he pushes you back.

“Keep it together”

“I’m sorry Si”

“No time for that now” His hand moves to grab yours, his thumb rubbing tender circles over the skin. “I’ll see you at home”

He leaves without another word, you watch his form recede before stepping into the plane, the sound of the engine drowning out anything else before you feel yourself lift into the air. You’re filled with dread as you watch the base get smaller, you won’t be able to contact your husband for upwards of a month, and your last memory is him mad at you, you hated arguing in any form.

You lean your head back, settling in as the plane reaches the clouds, closing your eyes in an attempt to dream of anything but your anxiety.

Taglist: @chloepluto1306 @thychuvaluswife @valdemarismynonbinarylove @simply-vulpecula @lostinsideourminds @pampeop @bloodandthestars @tomhollandisabae @copiasratscheese @giveme-gaskarth

[dailydegurechaff]

Not to be that person who starts discourse on their fandom blog, but like clearly I need to say this outside of the pinned post bc it keeps happening??

I’m cool with reuploads guys, put my shitposts on Reddit all you want, I’m fine with it. But for the love of god give me some credit when you do??? It’s really not hard to put a link or just even say “this was drawn by dailydegurechaff on tumblr”

This is like the third time the “PSA regarding proper handling” post has been reposted without proper credit.

And like????

What do you mean you “couldn’t find the artist”??? You had it right already. The artist is Dailydegurechaff?? Do you think I don’t draw these myself? I feel like I should be offended people would assume I’m just reposting art I found elsewhere.

I’m sorry to rant, but lack of art credit is the one thing that seriously sets me off

-- Editing to add further comments bc reddit saw this post: This post was made in a fit of irritation, literally only meant to vent some frustration. I just wanted to complain abt my feelings a bit, not start some inter-website fight. It wasn't intended to be a personal attack at the OP, but I see now how it could be read that way and I apologize for that. The OP apologized to me and added credit which I thank them for. No hard feelings for them, I'm cool with them.

I really have no intention to stir up drama with the reddit side of the YS community, I just want to continue to draw daily tanyas. Ty

[pagannatural]

1.19

Provenance

-the episode where they come so close to talking about Sam’s fat crush on Dean that I almost choked the first time I saw it

part I

-Sam beckons Dean away from his conversation with a woman at the bar. Like he flags him down and Dean is like Ope sorry lady my little brother who I spend every waking moment with needs to talk to me right now, no it can’t wait yeah I just do whatever he wants at all hours.

-Dean offers to try setting Sam up and Sam says he can get his own dates.

Dean says You could but you don’t. A rare moment of Dean plainly acknowledging that Sam could get it.

Sam’s expression is so hesitant. Dean says “nothing” but looks worried. Sam changes the subject back like he doesn’t actually want to talk about it. Usually Sam is vocal and pushes Dean to talk, but on this topic it’s the opposite.

Purely a theory but they’re both acting like this issue has come up before, like Oh it’s this again. And by before I mean way back before Stanford, this issue of Why isn’t Sam interested in anyone. The way Dean kind of mutters to himself passive aggressively and the way Sam answers but just moves on, the way he seems more needy in the first half of this episode.

-Dean’s eyes wander and Sam gets his attention again. His tone is less irritated and more puppyish and insistent. Dean says the case can wait until first thing and goes back to talk to the bar women and Sam calls after him forlornly.

His expression KILLS me. He wants Dean’s attention soso bad. He smiles after this though, because he loves Dean and finds him endearing.

-Sam lies artfully to the auction house guy. Dean tries to order champagne from him and calls him chuckles. Dean is good at defying authority by confronting, ridiculing, and fighting it.

-Sam says he took an art history course to meet girls and I believe him. He probably really wanted to meet someone to get his mind off of Dean.

-Dean asks Sam to call Sarah. It’s like he recognizes this puppy version of Sam and knows whatever he does doesn’t seem to help, so he’s trying to supply him with the one thing he really can’t do himself. He’s always controlling about Sam’s sex life but this time it’s coming from concern. And probably his own guilt, like he’s trying to repair something.

-Sarah asks Sam why he hasn’t been dating and he looks troubled, doesn’t answer. Next scene is Dean sharpening a knife.

Knives are symbolic of masculinity and of separation, of cutting things away. They’re often suggestive of the risk of being seduced by a man or of being penetrated.

As Dean sharpens his knife, he hedges around asking Sam if he slept with her, trying to keep it casual.

He doesn’t look casual. He only puts the knife aside when Sam changes the subject to the case. It makes the conversation feel sexually charged. Dean is also trying to give Sam some separation by pushing him toward Sarah, and it’s not working. He’s dangerous, to Sam, who’s trying to resist him.

-Sam is not happy about Dean pretending to forget his wallet to try and set him up with Sarah. He looks at Dean like he’s let him down, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing, like he really doesn’t like this.

He looks at Sarah, a very pretty art dealer, like she’s a bucket of slugs on his clean floor.

And he’s facing Dean, with his shoulder to her, until Dean physically leaves. He doesn’t blush or act embarrassed or anything when Dean pushes him toward her, he just seems uninterested and offended that Dean isn’t listening to him.

[krash-and-co]

hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂

(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)

hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3

hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭

very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol

ANYWAYS!!!

im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!

i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.

someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?

hella kind. hella safe on their part.

another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.

but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.

do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?

now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.

i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.

as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.

ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[

i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.

idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.

[titleleaf]

re. that culturaltutor thread on minimalism and beauty

(moving my commentary to a separate post to spare the Tumblr user who reposted the thread, who’s a totally normal antiracist/anti-white-supremacy SFF person -- you can find the Twitter thread in question reposted on their blog but I don’t fault them at all for not spotting this)

This guy is fully being weird about it in a way I unfortunately am not surprised by from a dude with an all-white Classical statue twitter av and the handle “The Cultural Tutor”. I’m very much a maximalist and my idea of a calm space is one that feels cozy and personal rather than one that feels sleek and tranquil, but each of these instances of “character” in design is the product of decades or centuries of advancements in design thought, materials, architectural method, and urban planning. I can point to a dozen instances of thoughtful, sensitive architectural detailing in 21st century architecture in my own city -- bike racks with individual emblems symbolizing historic neighborhoods, sidewalk repairs imprinted with brief poems on each newly-poured slab, elaborate bike bridge fences celebrating local Native cultures and artists, a wall of green plant life in the middle of a skyscraper -- and those are all the product of conscious choices that say something. They, in fact, make you feel something, despite being decidedly minimalist by this dude’s standards and emphatically modern. They would not have been seen in my city in the 1880s or the 1920s and I’m fine with that.  There is sensitive, meaningful detail and grace in modern design, and it is safe to say this person is not looking for it.

Piling every example of any disparate preceding period’s artistic and design output (or any of the ones that catch the OP’s eye, wherein you might start to notice some patterns: a 13th century English cathedral, a gold-painted “Victorian” doorbell of who knows what provenance, an English civil architect and engineer’s fancy bench circa the 1870s, an iron telephone kiosk designed by hey another English architect circa the 1920s...) is absurd as grouping all the causes for what we’re perceiving as unpleasant sterility (capitalism, hostile design, passing stylistic fads, changing perceptions of what looks “prestigious” and “expensive”, the most recent several decades in aesthetic thought, lazy landlords giving my entire 1910s-era apartment a shitty paintjob because who needs charming wood detailing. and many more) under the heading of “minimalism, so as not to offend anyone, effacing our (whose?) cultural identity”. Stroking a boner for classicism and the general concept of the past is not the same as insightful commentary on design.

To say that all “minimalist” (read: post-1900? post-1950? predominantly painted white?) design is “soulless” or “has nothing to say” or lacks charm or character rankles me, at the exact moment as Twitter is reckoning with again, statue-avatar trad weirdos making this same argument about degener-- oh, sorry, “modern” art, or why Impressionist art has no meaning and no beauty and its artistic proponents were clearly all draft-dodgers who shirked their patriotic duty in World War One. (No evidence and no chronology on that one, just vibes.) This whole thing is one long shrill dogwhistle about modernity and tradition (guess which political movement is obsessed with those particular themes right now? they are actively recruiting!) and seeing it get re-circulated on Tumblr with a quasi-leftist hat on in the tags about how it’s capitalism that made modernity ugly doesn’t make me happy.

EDIT: Another user has also noted that this dude’s Twitter follows are decidedly sketchy. 

https://eelfuneral.tumblr.com/post/688437928734736384/i-hate-boring-homogenous-architecture-as-much-as

Best case scenario, this dude’s a trad and comfortable rubbing shoulders with more overtly-racist/white supremacist/neo-Nazi trads, worst case scenario... yeah. 

[obsessivelycartoonish]

Hey, um, can I ask something?

I stumbled across this post during my late night tumblr scrolling regarding an apparent clash between the 2012 TMNT and Rottmnt fandoms, mostly in the crossovers they draw/write, about people always slandering the former and calling the brothers toxic & abusive (especially towards Mikey).

[ https://teenagetaleglitter.tumblr.com/post/694408872097710080 ]

They even wrote a 2012/Rise crossover fic of their own as their way to vent about & resolve the debate.

And... It's just- As much as the OP did make some good points, it makes me feel so conflicted now about who's really right and who's truly wrong about the relationships of the brothers from both versions, and my stupid brain won't let me stop obsessing over it until I can get a second opinion. 🤦‍♀️😖

Which is why I'm here now. 😑

I'm only curious, what do you think about this? Can "non-overt" displays of affection still be as impactful and meaningful?

(I'm so sorry if what I'm doing comes across as rude or nosy to anybody. I just really wanted some more insight, I don't want to offend anyone! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

I’ll try my best to answer this as best as I can😅 I’m gonna be honest - I didn’t realize how much of a debate there was in the first place until I started getting into rottmnt on tumblr

I actually used to watch the 2012 TMNT and genuinely enjoyed the interactions between siblings in that as well as RiseTMNT because I also saw my relationship with my siblings in them as well. Short answer to ur question; yes, “non - overt” displays can be just as impactful and meaningful as “overt” ones.

Speaking from personal experience as someone with a younger and older sibling; there are ways of showing u care without outright saying u care or u love someone! I actually have a hard time saying that I love someone out loud while my older sibling will literally tell me they love me - that doesn’t mean I don’t care for them or love them just as much; the way I show it will be less obvious to someone looking from the outside, but it’s still there! I may be stubborn and not want to be outwardly affectionate with my siblings but that doesn’t mean i won’t be there for them when it counts.

Both shows actually present different ways that siblings/family can interact with one another - I know in 2012TMNT, raph will constantly argue and throw comments at his siblings, but that never meant he despised his siblings or that he didn’t love his brothers; if anything he’s the one of the most over protective siblings. My siblings and I will also argue often and throw comments just cause we’re angry or annoyed, but at the end of the day it doesn’t take away from how much we care for each other and that we’d defend one another anytime/anywhere. If anything, it also shows how comfortable we are around one another - I can argue but still recognize that my siblings view of me won’t change cause I’m acting out.

Meanwhile RiseTMNT shows the brothers as openly affectionate and caring, which is still accurate amongst siblings! It may not be often but I’ll still do acts of service or spend quality time with my siblings and have vulnerable moments where I do say how much I care, and this is just as valid in sibling relationships.

To say that RiseTMNTs version of sibling relationships is healthier than 2012TMNTs version is to be kinda ignorant of the fact that not every familial relationship is hugs and I love yous. I’ve seen my relationship with my siblings reflect the same relationships and interactions in BOTH shows! Both are valid, accurate representations of siblings! Not every healthy relationship between people are the same; and that’s okay!!!! Where some can be open and affectionate, others can be less overt - they both still don’t take away how much siblings actually care or view one another!

(Side note: I know I keep referring to MY siblings and myself, but I’ve also encountered other families/siblings - some outwardly caring and affectionate and some less obvious- and they still had healthy relationships with one another! It all depends on the people/family cause not it’s every one is the same)

I’m not the best at responses like this so hopefully this makes sense🙏

[rizzulusarcturizz]

yo i can't reply to your comment OP blocked me lol, but i just wanted to say sorry if my comment was too aggressive but i'm just really annoyed at anyone who acts like family Must Mean Everything - especially since i've gotten shit so many times for not loving my own. if someone wants to hc sirius as not caring for regulus it doesn't mean that they're an only child - or that it's a bad hc, cause OP made it sound like it was (maybe they didn't mean it like this though). and tbh i don't feel like anyone is trying to be the authority about them, people just read this characters differently, we don't even have a clear canon of them so ofc that happens

anyways sorry again if it was badly said in my comment

I’m not offended, everyone is entitled to their own opinions! I was speaking to my personal experience and am the first to admit I can’t fathom the idea of not caring about my siblings. I’m not saying people are wrong if they have a different experience, I absolutely recognize the importance of setting healthy boundaries with family. There isn’t one universal relationship that all siblings experience; lots of people go no contact with family members because it’s the best thing they can do to protect themselves! That being said, what concerns me about some of the headcanons about the Black brothers having a bad relationship is that it can start to get in to the realm of victim blaming.

When we’re writing from the character’s POV Sirius/Regulus resenting the other brother for staying/leaving is completely understandable. That being said, when readers start to say one of them is terrible for trying to survive what is often interpreted as an abusive household you get in to a more grey zone. No one should ever be encouraging children to do something that they personally don’t feel safe doing in an abusive situation. This isn’t directed at you, I’m not suggesting that’s what you were saying, but my day job is a social worker so I feel entitled to say this.

I can’t speak for OP, obviously, but I think they were just speaking to a particular headcanon they dislike. I definitely have seen people wielding the idea of “canon” to justify only one idea of a character which I think is silly because we know very little canonically about these characters. I don’t think it was an aggressive comment but it is typically considered rude in fandom to comment on someone’s post calling them out for a personal fandom rant. Tumblr is a space to cultivate your own experience; if you feel like people are making you feel shitty for your personal family experience you should absolutely block away. This particular fandom is exhausting at the best of times given how much conflict there is; don’t feel like you have to consume content that makes you feel bad. Sibling relationships are not a one size fit all kind of thing and don’t let fandom make you think otherwise!

[butmakeitgayblog]

Hey babe, first, wanted to let you know that it hasn’t stopped raining in my town you know since when? since you posted that midwestern Clexa fight, coincidence? Don’t think so 🤨

Second, been bombarded with that ops show too and I agree 100% with you, both in the copaganda aspect (they lost me at the mention of marine’s and middle east terrorism)and the thing about this new ships. I want to stop a moment in the answer you gave me a time ago about this wn comeback, so, even if they write them well (at first), never forget who’s behind these shows and suddenly this thing we haven’t heard about gets popular cos it has a wlw couple with amazing chemistry, they get increase in viewers so they explote it to promote their next season and then what? Sound familiar? We just can’t trust them anymore.

Third, I super totally agree with you on the Clexa lightning in a bottle. As one of the newer Clexa fans (next week will make one year since I saw the second season and told my sister “I’m sensing a little bit of the gay vibe in here, wonder who of the two will die”) I’ve seen already most of the shows one sees named in the conversation about wlw couples and let me tell you, only this one got me hooked both from the beggining and way long after its ending (hell it got me into tumblr and twitter, things I’ve never done before and I even bought a book about it “El legado de Lexa” to know more about this shitstorm her death caused). Whatever IT is, they have IT. I honestly prefer reading fics about them than get invested in a new show.

Fourth, do you really wouldn’t recommend Clexa to new fans? I mean, yeah we got hurt but they’re more than their sad story, they’re this whole community and I think that’s a beautiful thing. Personally? I wouldn’t recommend the loo but I’d tell them about Clexa warning them beforehand so they can decide for themselves? There’s this dialogue on a media fic comparing someone with a really good book that you can’t put down or let go, that even if it made you suffer and you know the ending, the feeling you got reading its unique and you just wanna keep back to it, and that’s this thing to me.

Finally, I love how you apologize beforehand if your opinion that you posted in your personal blog offends the people who asked for it and came to said blog willingly and with the intention to read it. You humble polite kiddo *pats you in the head affectionately*

Sorry about the long rant 😬, en resumen, this new show? not sure I’ll watch it, Clexa is the “el que no conoce a dios a cualquier santo le reza” of ships, I’m leaning more into the recommed Clexa side of things, we love you and your opinions.

And we need the reconciliation so the sun can come up in my town again.

There's a lot here 😅 not complaining tho!

Ok so the first real thing I gotta answer is about would I rec theloo and Clexa to people who haven't heard of it. My honest answer is would I rec Clexa fic? Yes. The show? Maybe, but it'd come with A Lot of caveats 🥴. Because the thing is, and I may be alone in this thinking idk, but I'm not really sure if someone can appreciate the entirely of Clexa and Lexa, and Clarke in particular, as characters or why their dynamics and eventual love story were so amazing if they didn't watch the show. While the Clexa movie is fantastic at showing their chemistry, there's things that happen within the show that effect them and speak on who they are as individual characters that aren't ever really included in the supercuts because they aren't together in them. Which I agree with! The thing is already 3+hrs long lol. But it does matter for context and it does hold weight in their story, both together and individually, so I would have to say to really get them you have to watch the show at least up until 307. I know there's people who write fic who haven't watched the show at all and I just... no shade! But I can usually tell. Cuz it shows.

But in that same breath the show got so fucking stupid and nonsensical I, in good conscience, have a very difficult time telling people that they should watch that hunk'a shit 😒 Season 2 was its best, let's just be honest, and season 3 was JRot's bullshit Frankenstein creation that he used as a way to shoehorn in this fucking AI plot from a movie or show (I can't remember which) that didn't get picked up but he was just convinced it was brilliant. He wanted to be GoT meets Star Trek or some shit so badly I just know he was pissing himself watching dailies. So overall it's such a double edged sword because yes I want more people to love Clexa, but at the same time the show overall is so gd bad I don't wanna put them through it.

About the Ops show, someone said it is copaganda which I expected, and not even actually enemies to lovers?? Which baffled me but apparently one of them is undercover and using the other one to get to their father or something? That's not enemies to lovers 🤨 that's manipulation. Which ok fine I'm down with that in fiction but if one party is unaware of your nefarious ways and is just interested in you then that's not... that's not EtL. That's just I was trying to trick you and caught feelings/I had feelings and then found out you were a liar. False. Advertising. 😤

Lastly, I'm a midwesterner we apologize for everything 🥺👉👈 knocked into a chair with my knee today ans accidentally apologized to it before realizing myself 😔. But really it's mainly because I know how easy it is online for people to think everything is a personal attack on them or their tastes when it's not, so I find it's just safer and more pleasant to remind people that I am just a person stating their own personal opinion, and it's really not ever anything to get upset about 😅

[twopoppies]

Hi gina, hope you’re doing well and hope your health is better now! Idk if you saw the post going around about channel4 making a show and making celebrities read fanfics written about them. OP after explaining what’s happening and how to protect fics on ao3 said how it’ll be so uncomfortable for celebrities reading out people’s fantasies about them, and that’s totally a fucked up thing what channel4 is doing but outside of this situation is it okay if write fanfics about real people? My first experience with fandom and fandom dynamic is the 1D fandom, i wasn’t even aware about such things before so i’m not really that knowledgeable about these stuff, but for a long time now my presence in this fandom has just been reblogging cute pics and new content and reading fics and looking forward to fic fests and stuff bc fandom discourse is just too much for me lol. And really since i joined the fandom and read my first fanfic it just became a big part of my day that for me now i just consider them actual published book and even better bc i don’t have to sit through the first 10 chapters of a published book introducing characters if you know what i mean, so i just love reading fanfics and i’ve learned many many things through them, about myself and a lot of other different stuff! But when OP was talking about how celebrities reading erotic fics about themselves might be uncomfortable made me wonder if it’s different that they know it’s written about them and it’s there but they just don’t have to read it. Sorry for my rant and my thoughts are so unorganized but i hope you got my point and can answer me! Sending you love!!

Hi sweetheart. Yes, I saw all of that. I think it’s really gross. Look, my opinion on this is that fan fiction of all sorts is for fans. It’s not for the celebrities to go looking for it and then get offended by it and it’s certainly not for people to mock it publicly.

I just think the majority of fic is read and written because there’s a niche in the media that hasn’t been filled, and a lot of that happens to be queer love stories and stories with the main characters being queer (and not tragically queer). Most of fic is written by women and queer people and it just pisses me off that people (probably cishet men for the most part) are using their hard work and passion for something and making it something to laugh at. I’m sure they’re not doing the same with the fantasy football leagues men create (mostly men… you know what I mean).

Anyway, I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading or writing RPF fic as long as you’re not sending it to the people who inspired it etc. If a person isn’t able to differentiate between fictional versions of people and the actual people who inspired the stories, that’s an issue with the way that particular person thinks, but it doesn’t mean the fics themselves are bad and shouldn’t exist.

You can look through my FANFICTION COMMENTARY tag for a lot more on this topic.

[hypokeimena]

I don’t think you’re referring to me so that’s not where this is coming from, but I, for one, who didn’t have much of a follower count till recently, didn’t know op or others could so easily see tags unless they went to my blog and still didn’t really think about it until tumblr changes made the notes more visible, I mostly saw the tags as a way to think out loud to myself. I kind of used to go off in them all the time but have held back more since realizing it can make people feel uncomfortable. I mean I don’t know maybe people are addressing you directly or something and that understandably feels weird and even if it’s not that I mean whatever makes you uncomfortable makes you uncomfortable and that’s all valid and not for anyone else to decide I’m just trying to say that people may see this sight differently than you and use it according to their understanding not meaning to offend or whatever. I’ve just seen a growing number of these posts, not just I love my mutuals and everyone else is trash type posts, but like why are people acknowledging the existence of other’s blogs that they don’t already have a prior relationship with and I guess I’m kind of laying a lot in you right now I don’t mean to be all obnoxious I just think different people use this sight differently and see it as somewhere you can kind of have these one sided interactions with strangers and no one needs to acknowledge it and that’s fine to do because it’s in your own space even though everybody can also see it because what is the purpose of having a private account on this website? I feel like I may just be coming off as an asshole and doing the exact thing you were making a total valid complaint about, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. Which you didn’t ask for! Sorry

yeah this is exactly what i was talking about lol

[falinscloaca]

*sees a post* oh nice post! *realizes that the op’s icon isn’t random yaoi boy fantasy anime number 2 but is in fact Kanbaru from the hit [prefix-]monogatari anime series that turns me in a feral hog who is just PROFOUNDLY offended right now* HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Honestly I don’t hate this character, I mean she’s a pervert in some actually rather fucking reprehensible ways, but much like other fetishized slash comedy sapphics from dogshit media I’d mostly just wish she’d get extracted from the gross-as-fuuuck-about-children(-also-like.-shoutouts-to-her-and-mr-straightboypseudovampirebitchprotagonist’s-relationship-its-tiny-business-compared-with-The-Kiddie-Shit-but-like….-Its-Not-Pussy-Galore-Tier-But-Its-Frankly-Fucking-WIERDER-In-Terms/Of-Shoehorning-Your-Dyke-Character-Into-Heteronormative-Fanservice/Comedy/Relationship-Trends-Its-Like-They-Decided-To-Have-Their-LESBIAN!!!!!-Get-Possessed-By-The-Ghost-Of-An-Awful-2000s-Movie-Comedy-Supporting-Gay-Friend-Who-Tries-To-Molest-The-Protagonist-Who’se-A-Relatable-Looser-Schlub-ENDOFGHOSTMETAPHOR-For-Like-A-Scene-And-Plays-The-Jealous-Tryingtostraightflirtbchergirlcrushgotbagged-FUCKIngwierdoarchetype(<- ARVHETYPE?!?!))!,Also-Just-Like.-I-Cannot-Emphasize-How-Fucking-Horny-That-Shitheap-Is)-And-Also-Just-Fetishistic-Of-Sapphic-Anything-(Or. Women’s anything. Aaaaanything)-iness of her original franchise and left to frolic and play on a Mistreated & Maligned Sapphic Characters wildlife preserve where she can bond with that fucker from Index and like. other ones that exist and aren’t JUST anime examples theres. good lord the webcomic scene gets some *dire* shit -also for the record my first instinct when i had this stupid fucking idea earlier was for it to be ‘lesbian characters’ but like not only does that leave out TONS of otherwise vulnerable figures but like. the biodiversity would make for a healthier ecological rebound of these fantastical creatures. But ANWAYS i do hate her so much i want to hit her with HAMMERS!! That whole series should get hit by a truck and isekai’d into Pathologic enjoy of dying of the plague you BITCHES- - you Migyr EVEN ayayDAY*SAY* THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Oh hey I’m alive again sorry abt that. Berserker state, y’know how it is.

[aspiringtrashpanda]

(CONTINUED maybe we're back on track if I didn't mess up my text splitting pls don't eat a part tumblr, I THINK there's 5 if I counted right??? im so sorry OP you're an angel for putting up with me and I'm starting to think I didn't give you an adequate enough heads-up) This fic is my baby, it has grown up with me, I’m literally sending Leaf to College at one point to project that life on 🤣 hey Blue Oak did it, so can she. (but Highschool first, can’t convince me anyone with the education of a 4th grader (or 8th grader tech, Ash is 10, she's 14 Let's Go-style where he was born during "protagonist years") will be allowed to be a Champ who wants in on how to run a region and detective work) schooling is a bit different in Pokeverse, you take Uni classes for fun, don’t need two years of an AA or AS Degree. Pokémon Toxicology, BioDiversity and Medicine re: using their natural abilities VS Organic Chemistry ANY DAY + Law Student-like internships at the League to learn Champ duties + fun bonus of Lance doing extra and involving his League with the Interpol.) "Where do you think you're going?" "Out." "Without doing the paperwork?" "You can give it to the intern!" "You are the intern." “I cannot believe this betrayal. This slight against me will not be forgotten.” “You mean just like how you didn’t forget the League duties you insisted on being allowed to do?” eyebrow raise “…well.” Lance is not exempt from bullying.

"You're the one wearing a bib!" "A what?! It's a cape!" "And it's on the wrong side!" "It's a cape! And it's elegant!" "It's tacky is what it is!" You're likely to find her complimenting Leon's cape just because of how offended Lance gets. Choosing a cape is a science. But nobody wants to hear a one-hour monologue on Cape Studies. Payback uwu. He's actually the reason she ends up having to finish Highschool. He's not giving an obviously emotionally tired 14 y/o Boring Adult Work even if she's eager to do it because SOMEONE needs to fix the atrocious state of the Kanto Region. (Lance was overworked, he's trying, but Indigo Season...what is wrong with all these citizens. It's ok, once she's ready they can split uuuh, the work between Kanto, Johto, The Orange Islands, and the Sevii Islands + G-Men Investigations so Lance doesn't have a heart-attack at his desk. But seriously, who gave him this much work anyways??? Not to mention running the League, the Gym Budgets, restocking Badges, employee paychecks, monitoring trainers during League Season, and the influx of tourists and establishing Pokemon Contests in KanJoh, etc.) So it's off to learn The Magic of Friendship with Ash and friends and falling victim to their puppy-dog eyes. (Occasional meet-ups during Kanto turn into full Joh-Hoenn adventures, and Sinnoh encounter when investigating with Looker about Team Galactic as Lance I presume is off training in Galar, he needs a break too.) So for Johto (*insert horrified look at the GS Ball because that's what you use to capture Celebi, she would know~ "well heck, guess I have to steal that when no one's looking.") And everyone going, "You know Leaf, I was a bit worried when we heard about The Incident but you're still you :)" Cue Leaf "oh...*laughs nervously.*" (That moment when you disappear off the face of the earth after The Incident, and re-appear to win the Indigo League and Clean House and don't know how to tell people you kind of regained memories of your past life and had an existential crisis. They're a bit come and go/the ones getting triggered upon meeting Steven in the Granite Cave episode was fun lol (not) *Gets to Ecruteak, sees Morty, books it the other way because she remembers his warnings to not chase after Celebi from The Other Timeline/Gameverse and does not need him seeing the many ghosts of her dead Pokemon clinging to her if they are.*

BLUE OAK DID IT, SO CAN SHE! This is gonna be my new motto for everything, whether it's relevant or not lmao. These Lance interactions are everything to me. I LOVE found family League shenanigans. So precious I want to cry. Okay I want to read this fic so badly. It sounds so heartwrenching and fascinating and I can tell you've put SO MUCH thought into it. Gimme. *Grabby hands motion* (actually though, i am happy to beta read if you ever consider posting!)

[xxravenbirbxx]

I do not like the message “if you’re alone in life it’s because you’re unlikeable and complain too much”. That is the case with some people but the majority of people alone in life are mentally ill and suffering, not just mean people. And mentally ill people should be able to talk about their experiences with their friends without feeling like they’re being annoying and are going to lose their friends. This is how I hear people constantly talking about ex-friends, I guess. I don’t treat my friends like that, I care about them and their well-being. People who are alone in life have enough to deal with without tumblr posts telling them if they shut up they’d have more friends, or the reason they don’t have friends is because actually, they’re mean people. I’d rather have just a few good friends than be alone with a lot of friends, which that post seems to be supporting. I want close bonds and openness and honesty and trust. Not to bury my emotions and fear they’ll leave as soon as I share that I’m depressed.

[follow up ask] It really annoys me that people treat “doesn’t have friends” as a red flag when we live in a society that is fatphobic, ableist, racist, transphobic, homophobic, etc. and abuse is rampant. Because of my avoidance and being an easy target for abuse, I don’t have a lot of friends and sometimes I get really hurt by one of those people and have no options but to drop them. Like my partner cheating on me, and then the “friends” I have (the only queer leftists I’ve met in the area) taking his side because he gives them things, while I am poor. Leaving me friendless. I really think it’s evil to assume that people are miserable because of their own doing. It’s inherently ableist and the poster and commenters of that post deleted it for a reason, I’m sure. I’d guess that reason - they didn’t expect a commenter to add tags that made the original post ableist, and then everyone in the notes was calling out OP and others who didn’t see the ableist reblog that you boosted got confused about why mentally ill people were offended.

fuck i must have badly misinterpreted that post when i read it this morning. i reread it and realized how shitty it was and deleted it. thank you for bringing this to my attention, and i'm sorry to you and anyone else who was hurt or upset by said post.

[x3rrorx]

Hi love. I come across you on twitter a lot and obviously like your blog here. I do really think you are probably a good person and you actually seem kind. I am sorry that you get a lot of shit thrown at you.

I just want to say (and i do genuinely mean this kindly) i saw the tweet about how someone said if anyone follows you they should unfollow/ block them and how everyone came for you about you not liking the tweet that other person made where they dm’d Noah egging him on to delete. Babe i do think it was a bit obvious that her tweet was a joke and i do think it’s safe to say that her sending him that wasn’t the reason he deleted everything. Even if he has deleted everything because it’s overwhelming Noah is notoriously known for liking a joke/ dark humour so i really doubt he would have been offended even if he did actually see it. I’m just saying (to save yourself from more shit coming at you) maybe next time check out the persons profile and see if they do typically talk shit/ make jokes. Also maybe consider if it really is a big deal? U know what i mean? Again i really am not trying to come for you. You don’t even need to post or respond to this I’m just tryna help

Again, the shit you cop does actually make me sad to see sometimes xx

I never assumed the “message to Noah” was the reason he deleted his IG.

It might have been obvious to some, guess it was to me or my group. It just wasn’t. And that’s fine if it was a joke. But they never expressed that until after they decided they wanted to bitch at me for my feelings on it.

Sorry but I found all that super unnecessary when all the OP had to do was say “hey it was me and it was a joke, just photoshopped”. But they instead shitty things and when I started just sending GIFs at my responds they got more shitty. Like I never insulted any of them or picked at them. Yet that was their way of “handling” it. It was just completely unnecessary. Didn’t need to happen and could have been handled differently. Idk if they just wanted to pick a fight or what, but like always, somehow it was me that was picking the fight. Like whatever man. Just say it was fake and a joke and shut up. It truly WASN’T that serious.

And it wasn’t ever a “gotta defend Noah cause Noah can’t do it himself” that people like to throw around anytime someone has a personal opinion against something. I thought it was shitty (thinking it was real).

I’ve got bitched at for lesser shit that I’ve just tagged the dudes in. But people were defending that. Idk I feel people really just pick and choose when to bash on someone based on who they’re defending.

[because-of-a-friend]

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol. 

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you. 

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.  

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

[georgiapeach30513]

how does Opie meet Blossom?

Oh!! I don't know to dive too much into them BUT a cute little meet of her and Opie won't hurt. I want to get a few more people settled before I go more into these sweethearts!

🖤🖤🖤🖤

All Five Hundred of Us

Summary: you lose Zephyr and Archer

Pairings: Opie X Reader/Otto/Zephyr/Archer

Rating: 🥰

Warnings: none, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 550

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Opie Winston Masterlist

Five seconds, that’s all it took for Zephyr and Archer to run off without you. Otto had came to the store with you, but he had walked away only for a second, and when he came back, they were gone.

“Oh, mama’s not going to be happy with you,” he gives a smile to you, and you can’t help but to be slightly annoyed. “They were just right there.”

Panicking you start to move faster down the aisles. His voice still talks to you, but he’s calm. Speaking perfect now, although every word comes out slowly. Annunciating everything, while he re-learns to talk. “This isn’t funny.”

“You should put the store on lockdown. Dad’s had to do that before. It was Archie and Brookie that time. Archie wanders. Unless…”

“He’s with your mom. Then, he never leaves. I cant go back to the castle with only one third of the kids I took.”

He gives a little chuckle and starts to walk away but you turn around to him, “No! I can’t lose all three.”

“And you’d be losing the one taking over the company,” he gives you a little wink. He’s already starting to get his father’s charm. Perfect for the world that Carter was training him for.

It isn’t until you turn a corner and see the precious Baizen boys with a giant biker, and you really start to panic. “Archer, Zephyr! Please don’t hurt them. You have no idea who they are.”

The large man gives you an odd look, picking both boys up, “I know exactly who they are.”

Your body goes in front of Otto’s pushing him back behind you, “Then you know their family will pay you whatever or or…”

“You’ll never be heard from again,” Otto’s voice cracks, and you turn and notice he’s laughing. “Put them down,” he calmly speaks, and the man listens immediately.

“Pick me up, Opie,” Archer continues to jump at his side.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m very much aware of who they belong too. The whole family actually. Jax, Posie’s boy, he’s kinda my best friend.”

“Opie shoots us with water guns. Can you follow us home? Mom’s making lasagna.”

“Is she? And you and the nanny are coming to get snacks for the week?” he gives you a smile and winks at you. Those kind eyes giving Archer the utmost attention.

“Mama calls her Blossom. She lives in a lavender field.”

“And your dad calls her?”

“Nothing. My conversations are typically with Story. We should really be going,” grabbing each of their arms, you spin to leave.

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I know Carter only sees one woman. Let me make it up to you. How about dinner?”

You gawk at him, only to have all three boys giggle at the two of you with the oooohhs. “Come on, don’t make me look like a fool in front of my boys. What kind of person would you be?”

“Blossom, Opie is asking you for a date,” Otto whispers. “Do it. He really likes kids,” you don’t talk about your personal life with the boys, but Otto is like his grandfather and extremely perceptive. “Please. We like Ope. And he’s good with all the Drysdale’s.”

“All?”

“All five hundred of us.”

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