#sorry grandma

[little-bumblebeeee]

Hot bitches listen to music that'll send grandma into orbit

[sickly-stitches]

i dont come out i just show up with a girl, both of us covered in hickies, and not elaborate on that

[betty-bourgeoisie]

An audiobook book of The New American Standard Bible finally went off hold at my local library, and I had every intention of reading it, I swear to you, but as soon as they got to the part about the ocean and the sky being the same thing I decided I could learn more about divinity by simply listening to a playlist of marimba music, so I guess I'll just have to go another year hoping that Jesus Christ Superstar covers all the important parts

[dark-elf-writes]

I live to expose my bestie, so congrats! you get more lore!

In high school Miss.tree frog went on a date with this emo kid and he took her to the cemetery for a picnic. He brought her to “his place” which was just a gravestone under a tree in the shade. Apparently the emo kid wanted to go down on her (much like my brothers and their partners) in the cemetery, which she said no to so they ended up just making out. Apparent-fucking-ly the emo kids “place” was her grandmas fucking grave which she realized in the middle of making out. She told me she laughed so hard the emo kid thought she was crying and asked if he was that bad at kissing which made her laugh harder.

I think they dated for like a yr after that?

-Alex

NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THE END OF THIS STORY WHEN I STARTED IT AND I AM SHRIEKING. THE LAYERS.

[crowdearest]

getting invited to my grandmothers 75th birthday and going knowing full well that I've been ticcing an imitation of gross noise she makes due to something wrong with her lungs, and knowing full well that she has no clue what tourettes is >:)

[jazz-kity]

accidentally fat fingered the enter button and im not fighting groudon twice

[fieryglutenfreechickennoodles]

I came to a tea party with my grandma, everything was fine and chic until Won't Back Down started playing on the telly and Oscar Isaac showed up and I made an inhuman noise/moan and held my tits in surprise 🫢 Don't talk to me.

[rainbowcrowley]

left the church today. feels good.

[old-fashioned-achibi-doll]

I don't want to be a problem in they lives anymore, but even when I try really hard, that's all what I can be: a problem.

I don't know why I still try.

[zombinary]

Grimora gotta go down if it means im gonna be a necromancer scrybe

[lizstiel]

my great grandma fighting tooth and nail my entire childhood to get me to go to church (only for me to fight her every step of the way) watching me wake up every Sunday at 5:30am to go to my new job at a church:

[unfeelingmyself]

what a night..

[man-made-object]

making that chart thing of me throughout the years was such a good idea. for having a new years resolution of taking more pictures of myself in 2023 i kinda. Didn't Do That. there's one (1) video of me. what the heck happened

anyways i'm mainly doing this bc i'm figuring out when i created my sona(s) and i'm putting them alongside my face by year. normal behavior

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

[ohposhers]

i am of the firm belief grandma Rosiepuff was a smoke show in her younger years Bruce had to get his heart throb genes SOMEWHERE

[agirlyouknow]

Made my grandma cry twice bc she’s so worried about me. Cool cool cool. Is it mental illness or is it the fact that I don’t buy into capitalism as hard as they do?

🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️