#sorry i included a tldr i felt it was too long but if u still read it all really smooch?

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

Hello, this is 🦈 anon ◉⁠‿⁠◉. Um.. if you still open request, please can i have TF 141 together x F! Reader who has high (possibly extreme) pain tolerance that whenever reader's injured, she almost doesn't react or show she's in pain. When TF 141 found this new information, they couldn't be not worried because what do you mean you don't feel anything while bleeding heavily, sweetheart?

TLDR: "Ayo yer bleeding?!", "Uh, um..yeah, should I scream?"

hello 🦈 anon!!! nice to see you again :D ty for the request!! I hope u would like this one since I think it was sweet :) have a nice day/night!

word count: 2.3k

ship: TF141*F!Reader

tw: pet names (love etc.)

The first time they found out was on a mission.

The explosion made you fly and hit hard on the wall, you could hear Soap yelling at you.

“Yer okay, lassie?!” You brushed away the dust, Soap running over and checking on you, blue eyes full of concern.

“Yeah, alright.” Standing up from the wreckage, you simply responded to him. Though Soap doubted if you were truly fine under that big impact, but your face didn’t express thoughts other than focusing on the mission, so he just nodded and signaled to keep going.

The rest of the mission succeeded without any incidents. Price, Ghost, and Gaz are already waiting at the exfil place. Through the smoke and deafening sound of the helo, they saw you and Soap walking towards them.

“Y’all okay?” Hadn’t gotten close to the helicopter, Gaz already run towards you two, relief was obvious on his face when he didn’t see any injuries by a quick scan, but then Ghost came over too.

“Wait, your shoulder.” He pointed at your shoulder, leading everyone’s gaze to land on it, including yourself.

“oh... looks like it’s dislocated.” You evaluated.

“What do you mean ‘oh’?! don’t you feel any pain?!” Soap yelled at your words. His hands try to inspect your shoulder, but afraid to trigger the pain.

“I don’t think it’s a big deal, just...”

You put your hand on the shoulder, and with a loud CRACK, which made Gaz jump and Soap gaped, even Ghost’s eyes widened at your sudden motion.

“I think it’s fixed now.” You looked around at your teammates, confusion clouded your mind “Ummm... is there any problem?”

“You...” Ghost stuttered, but he regained his composure fast. “doesn’t that hurt?”

“Well, I don’t know what you mean, LT.” You shrugged, “But actually, I feel a little bit dizzy...”

Just at the moment you finished your sentence, the dizziness became more severe, and your vision started growing blurry...

“Oi! Call the medic!” Catching your slumped body, Ghost yelled at the sergeants, but the last thing you hear is Soap reassuring you and Gaz calling for help.

So quiet... Where am I?

You thought as you slowly opened your eyes, what came in your eyes first was the stainless white ceiling, and a low voice coming from aside.

“you awake, sergeant?”

Turning your head, your eyes met with the man’s ocean-like ones, who sitting on the chair beside and holding some papers.

“Captain.” The whisper slipped out when you recognized him

“I guess you don’t know you were seriously injured, love.”

“What happened?”

“The explosion.” Price leaned closer to the bed now “The impact caused your bone fractured and slowly internal bleeding. We have no idea how you were able to walk to the exfil and looked like nothing happened.”

“I didn’t feel any pain, so I assumed I was okay.” you avoided his attention when Price raised his eyebrows. You knew he was worried and it kind of made you guilty.

“since I was young I rarely feel pain, so...” staring at the catheter of your IV drip, you mumbled quietly.

Price didn’t reply, he just stared at the paper written with your injuries and health state.

The room fell into silence for a while, before you open your mouth again.

“Sorry, Captain...” You murmured, still don’t dare to look at him.

The man let out a long sigh, you snapped your head up when you felt your hands were covered by Price’s.

It’s warm, soothing, calming down your still hazy but full of thoughts mind.

“You should be sorry, dear.” He rubbed your hand in a repeated rhythm. “You make us worried. Me, and the boys...” he pointed his chin at the bedside desk, and you finally notice the flowers and your favorite snacks are placed on it.

“We’ll keep an eye on you every time the mission is complete, since you can’t feel pain, this is not a request, it’ s a command, got it, soldier?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.” The composed grin eventually appeared on his face, and you smiled too when he ruffled your hair.

“Sleepy?” His comforting voice rings against your ears when you let out a big yawn.

“mmhmm.”

“Then sleep, Gaz will be here when you wake up.”

Price watched your eyelids struggle to stay open but failed, little snores leaving you when you fell drifted into dreams again.

What you didn’t know is he brushed off the hair on your face and placed a tender kiss on your serene face.

Weeks after, to your happiness, you could go back to your own quarter and start hitting the training room for some simple practice.

Except there was someone who insisted on following you every time when you went to the training room, even if you tried to sneak into the room, he was always there as if he knew your plan.

“Soap.” You sighed at the man sitting on the bench spotting you.

“Aye, lassie?”

“I’m okay, really.”

“I don’t trust ye anymore. I should check it mahself.”

You understood why he was acting like this. Price told you Soap had been blaming himself for not finding that you were injured in that mission until your body gave up due to blood loss.

“I’m just doing some easy weightlifting now, I won’t pass out just because of this okay?”

You concentrated on his figure as he strode to your side. You chuckled when he still looked at you with doubtful eyes.

“How ‘bout you spar with me? Go easy on me though, the doctor said I still haven’t recovered fully.”

“You sure yer okay?”

“You’re like my mother now, Soapy.”

“Aye, 'cause we got a naughty kid in our team.” He laughed. “If I think you should stop, then ye stop, aye?”

“Yes, mama.”

You both burst into laughter and stepped on the training mat. Soap really went easy with his attack, unlike the usual training with the tension as if you two were about to devour each other.

“Oh!” When Soap swung out a punch, you abruptly lowered your body, and with a swipe of your leg, Soap fell onto the mat, followed by you sitting on him and securing his hands.

“Checkmate...? Soap.” You smirk at the man lying under you.

“Won’t complain if I was lost to you, but.” he huffed out a laugh, but your world spun the next second, and you met your gaze with the man now on top of you, his eyes glinting with mischievous.

“It’s a tie now, bonnie.” He flashed out a dazzling smile at you.

“Okay okay, it’s a tie now.”

A lazy grin spread along your lips when you poke at his chest.

“How about we go get some lunch together, handsome?

“Aye, ma'am.”

“The bones and the wound have healed very well, can say you are the most well-behaved patient in your team.”

The doctor smiled at you, and you turned to shoot a glimpse at Gaz, only to find his face written with embarrassment.

“What did he do last time you treat him, doctor?”

“oh, I forbid him to go training, but he still went and tore his knuckles, so he came back and stitched them again, making me call Captain Price to scold him.”

“Sorry, he’s a dumbass.”

“All of you guys are stubborn, sometimes I really want to tie you to the bed.” The doctor grinned “Well, since you’re fully recovered, you can go back to train and go on missions. Remember to be careful next time, don’t come back too soon, okay?”

“I will, Thank you, doc.”

Returning the smile, you and Gaz stepped out of the infirmary.

“I can’t wait to have you back next mission, need ya to bear Soap’s nonsense and Lt.’s bad jokes with me.” Walking beside you, Gaz sounded excited, and it’s hard not to be affected by his warmth.

“Need a helper to deal with those troublemakers?”

“That’s one reason.” He chuckled “Actually...”

“We all missed you.”

You halted to a stop when his words flowed into your ears with a bit of sadness.

Now face to face with him, you were able to see the concern on his face.

“You didn’t know when you just passed out without any warning, I felt like my heart almost shattered.”

It was close to midnight, so no one was nearby, and his words were gentle yet distinct, echoing softly in your mind.

“Not just, me, Ghost, Soap, Captain... we all are scared, you know?”

“We thought we lost you.”

You opened your mouth, mind still processing, managing to find a word, but nothing came out except an apology.

“Sorry, Kyle...”

The dusk light showered you two in an awkward peace, but it didn’t affect the sentiment Gaz conveyed to you.

“Just be careful, okay? You should tell us that you can barely feel pain, so we can help you check out, alright?”

“Okay.”

Giving your hands a little squeeze, Gaz accompanied you back to your quarter.

“We’re more than a team, more than family, we’ll always watch your back, just like you always do.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Tilting your head, your lips curled mildly. “Goodnight, Gaz.”

The honey-like smile inched towards you until you felt his soft lips pressed a kiss on your cheek.

“Goodnight, lovie.”

Your first mission after months ended smoothly. You were glad that you didn’t become rusty after the long rest, seemed like the practice and training with Soap and Gaz were worth it.

Soap and Gaz were chatting loudly, while Price sat in front and was checking details regarding the mission. You listened to the boys bantering, sometimes quipped back when their target turned to you, but you could feel someone observing you, and you tried to ignore the chill sending through your spine.

Because you knew it was Ghost, sitting just across you and scanning you like a robot.

You silently wished to arrive at the base faster, so you could ask him what was wrong or if you had done something incorrectly.

Under his scrutinizing gaze, you let out a sigh of relief when you jump off the helo. Got rid of the gear and placing them back in their place, you straightly head back to your quarter, craving some hot shower to wash off the soreness and dirt.

On your way back to the quarter, you could hear footsteps following you, almost imperceptibly, but you noticed and immediately went to a stop.

“LT.?”

Your LT. loomed just right behind you, seeming not surprised that you were aware of him, or maybe that was just what he was planning.

He hummed at your recognition but didn’t stop his steps, until he was side by side with you.

“I’m just about to ask you, did I do something wrong? You kept staring at me when we were heading back.”

“You did it pretty well.”

“Then why did you...?”

“You’ll know when you get into your room.”

He placed his right hand on the small of your back, ushering you to your room, and you just obliged, letting him lead you.

Closing the door behind you and Ghost, you turned around to face the man now with his balaclava on.

“So what’s the issue?”

“Clothes, off.” The command came out from him unexpectedly.

“What—“

“I said clothes, off.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, what the fuck does he want? you thought while kicking off your cargo pants and tossing your shirt on the chair, leaving only the sports bra and underwear with you.

“What now?”

Ghost didn’t form a word as his eyes traveled from your head, slowly through every inch of your body, under his meticulous search, you felt heat rising to your cheeks.

“turn around.” You did as he told, and now you were unable to see him, anxiety crawling to your mind until he finally stood up.

His calloused hands touched your shoulder, circling you to face him.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing now?” You asked when he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Checking.”

“If I’m injured?”

“yeah.”

“Oh god” You poke his pec with a frown “you all are overreacting. I’m okay, really. Don’t you guys trust me?”

“We trust your ability, but not your ability to tolerate pain.”

“I’m fi—“

“We can’t lose you.”

Your eyes widened at his words. Ghost was looking into your eyes. He might be good at concealing his emotions, but they said, a person’s eyes can’t lie.

and all you see is sorrow, love, consideration.

All the retorts were swallowed back when his eyes conveyed how important you were to him — to them. You studied the man towering over you, tracing his scars and wrinkles in your mind.

“Thank you, Ghost.” You pulled him into a hug, which he didn’t back off, instead melting in your arms, head burying in the crook of your neck. “I will be careful, okay? I will tell you if I got hit and not sure if I was injured.”

He nodded while staying in your embrace, and you just patted his head.

“Now, I need to shower” Pulling back, a smile bloomed on your face “See you tomorrow, LT.”

“Don’t oversleep again, sergeant.” He scoffed, but petted you before letting you go to shower.

When you came out, with relaxed muscles and fresh clothes, you jumped onto your bed, but something on your desk caught your attention.

Picking it up, you shook your head in disbelief.

“Fuck you, Ghost, I already brushed my teeth.”

grumbling to yourself, you still opened the snack—your favorite one— and gave it a huge bite, while snickering at the paper placed under the snack.

‘Goodnight, luv. (remember to brush your bloody teeth again.)’ — Ghost

next chapter

[tamaharu]

can you do an aita post for haruhi "AItA for marrying a mutual friend that my gay best friend has been in love with since he was 14"

i dont know how funny this is going to be btw. tried to craft it into an actual post haruhi might make and. well haruhi is fundamentally very boring.

necessary context for this is a situation me and my friend reuben ramón came up with when we were both more into ouran: an unhappily married tamaharu go to their high school reunion where they meet up with everyone else, including kyoya and renge. tamaki and kyoya share some heated moments but also think Its Far Too Late For Any Of That... meanwhile haruhi fucks renge in a janitors closet and they break up. you can read some of the stuff i wrote about it here

r/relationship_advice

Posted by u/FHNatural 4 months ago

Feeling conflicted about my marriage of five years.

Me (27NB) and my husband (28M) met by chance in high school. We started dating during his last year of high school, and got married a little after I completed undergrad.

For the actual issue: I love my husband, but more and more frequently, I've felt as if I love him like I love a friend. Intimacy and basic affection between us seems off-putting, I've been spending more time away at work just to achieve solitude, and I just feel like I've grown into a person too different from who I was when we began dating. He clearly wants more. He's not demanding anything of me, but I know it upsets him to see me pulling away. Or, he wants kids, and that's something I've always been reluctant about.

We've spent so much of our lives together, and I'm sure that's coloring some of my opinion. I've never been the most adventurous, and I'm confused if I still love him, if I want to split but my own passiveness is holding me back, etc... I'd appreciate some outside perspective on this, but all of my friends are his friends as well, so.

TLDR; How do I deal with feeling like I've fallen out of love with my husband?

UPDATE: I want to start this update, four months after my original post, by thanking everyone who spoke with me through comments and DMs. Some of it was unhelpful, but for the most part I was pleased to find honest, sincere advice. Which makes me feel bad because I probably did the exact opposite of what I was advised to do. The full story of what happened is a bit long, so I'll do my best to summarize:

1. Was looking into both marriage and individual counseling, but was unable to find the time or courage to pursue further with husband.

2. Me and husband were invited to high school reunion with most/all of our mutual friends, including his best friend from middle school. Best friend has been in love with husband since they were fourteen, I was unaware until a little before we were married. This becomes relevant.

3. Re-encountered old friend from high school whom I had lost touch with, found our short connection to be more fulfilling than the one me and my husband had been sharing for some time.

4. Had an affair with said lost connection during the reunion. Husband found us.

5. On impulse, made it worse and handed over my ring. Went and stayed at her house for the night, felt horrible in the morning. He stayed at best friends house.

6. Had actual conversation about everything. Began official separation. I stayed at her house, he stayed at friends house. From what I can gather, this is around the time best friend spoke about his feelings for him, (ex-)husband reciprocated.

7. We're doing better! Things are still fairly uncomfortable, and I admit that I did not make good choices, but I think we're both going to come out on top of this. Again, I want to thank everyone for giving me such kind advice. Sorry, I didn't follow any of it. 😊

[artisticallys]

              omg hey... what’s going awn  ?  i havent dont an intro in soooo long i dont even have anything fun or interesting to say about myself errrrrr my name is sam  !  i use they/them pronouns we big chillin.... im real bad at answering messages but i get to them eventually i schwear. yep that’s all if anyone wants to plot or whateva just lmk okie  ?  there’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom before plots if u dont wanna read all this it’s a lot-_____-  without further adieu may i present miss scout kang.... 

﹤𝙺𝙸𝙼 𝙲𝙷𝚄𝙽𝙶𝙷𝙰, 𝚂𝙷𝙴/𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello SCOUT KANG. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY TWO, how you're a GAME DEVELOPMENT major,  and in fact.. how you KILLED YOUR TWIN BROTHER AT HIS REQUEST AND LIED TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT HIS PASSING AWAY TO STAY IN THEIR GOOD GRACES. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

ok so yeaaaaah her secret is kindve a lot ! we gone get there... but first i gotta discuss her childhood u kno ? set things up <3 scout was born to 2 vewy loving parents with a twin brother. there were complications in the pregnancy some medical shit i cba to research but basically her brother wasn’t getting all the nutrients he needed to develop with a good immune system. scout was born two minutes before him, he never let her forget it with his hag jokes and she never let him forget when it came to calling shotgun. 

as i said her brother was born with an auto immune deficiency it left him in a place to get sick very, very often. almost anytime he caught the flu he was hospitalized and generally his life was lived through a glass case from the outside world. and oddly enough it made scout feel trapped too as he was her twin flame, they were the best of friends and wherever he was she wanted to be. there came a time where his health plummeted drastically, doctors weren’t sure he’d make it and the pressure of it all finally cracked down on their father

not being able to watch his own flesh and blood rot away in a hospital bed he took his chance to get out while he still could and vanished into the night never to be seen again. scout remembers hearing an argument between her parents before pretending to be asleep when he came into her room and gave her a final kiss on the forehead and secured her blankets about her body.

it was a shock, really, when her brother pulled through and was somehow stronger than ever. an elaborate hoax was curated by their mother but scout knew, and deep down she thought her brother knew too. but it’s hard to give life to such a grievous monster and so it stayed in a grave.

life went on, doctor and hospital visits became routine and her brother never let things get in the way of living his life. in high school they were quite the pair. mostly it consisted of conversations about where they wanted to run off to after graduation, who their dream spouse was ( he always wanted to marry the student body president while scout had dreams of marrying some degenerate *her brothers words* ), things theywanted to do before dying. they wrote that stuff down on an old study guide scout was using to cheat off of for ap chemistry....

which was something she did often as early middle school days, her mother planted the seed of her going to medical school. to find a way to help people like her brother and at first it was a welcomed idea, do good for people like the one she loved more than life. time went on though and the pressure to have a 4.0 to get into a good premed school with tuition help was mounting. it made dreams that had been forced upon her to morph into something ugly but there was no hopes of standing up to her mother, not when she was already looking forward to such a future. but scout didn’t have the best work ethic when she wasn’t really invested in something, she was smart yeah but that just... wouldn’t cut it and she found that out real fast

her scenes changed quickly during the summer of junior year. her brother had fallen incomprehensibly ill, worse than she had ever seen him and the fear she had as a child slowly crept back, licked up her neck and nested on her shoulders making a home there. reports came back soon enough and he was diagnosed with leukemia. at first it was manageable, some chemo and radiation should do the trick, they said. then it became bone marrow transplants and blood transfusions and fluid drips. she was the first to volunteer, obviously as his twin, for marrow transplants, blood, any organs he might need. 

desperation came in the form of a crying mother after news that he wasn’t going to live past christmas came. it came to scout as her mother accused the doctors of knowing nothing and doing nothing for her son. and it lastly came to her brother when he had been going through these treatments for 2 years and he still could feel how his soul was rotting away. how he was just a carcass in a paper thin nightgown. 

it was then he proposed the idea they travel and cross things off their bucket list and scout both ready to escape greyed walls and sterile affections as well as their small town agreed, readily. took every penny she earned from working, even opened up a gofundme for this trip and was lucky. things went well, so well in fact, that the pair forgot that half of them had one foot in the grave already.

until one day his pain became unbearable, too much for him to handle anymore, and he asked scout as she was helping him into bed after an attempt at leaving the house that day. it was hushed, whispered in shame and fear. had what he just said really happened? was the summer sun getting to be too much? it wasn’t until he had cleared his throat and said it with his chest, “i want you to kill me.” 

call her wrong but she actually laughed. retracted from him with brows creased and a confused laugh slipping out. there’s no way he could be serious. but when he didn’t laugh too she knew he meant it and that’s when she knew she had a choice to make.

it took a week of pondering the thought before she came to the conclusion that she’d end her brothers suffering. they spent the next few days doing something that haunts scout to this day really: planning the best way for her to kill him. for her to end her twin flame. 

their last night together was something memorable, spirits were shared and tears were shed. he left her with only 2 promises to keep.   1. never reveal to anyone that she ended his suffering and 2. to stop letting their mother decide scout’s life and future

she didn’t go to his funeral. didn’t want to replace what she had left of him with what was in that coffin, spent the night drinking homemade sangria and watched star trek. his 2 favorite things. 

this obviously didnt go over well with her mother, went even worse when scout announced she had dropped from pre - med and planned on becoming a video game developer. she was called an embarrassment, a failure, and that she would end up nowhere. and for a while she believed it, still does. 

she got really lucky though when the streaming community got more recognition and now she plays video games for a living and attends classes to make good games. 

TL;DR 

scout grew up w a really sick brother, their dad left, and scout basically became her brother’s keeper. was forced into studying shit she had no interest in and when her brother had enough suffering asked her to take his life, which she did. now she streams video games with hopes of making her own and somehow finding her mother’s love again. 

𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑆  ? 

got the songs it’s you & bang bang stuck in my head rn maybe some romance shit off theeeees? dunno...

dudes... some people who knew her AND her brother growing up like maybe they went to hs together idk maybe they’re like girl what ever even happened...

ex’s yupppp gimme

her bestest friend(s) maybe even shares her world w them u kno? im in it...

maybe something unrequited or like some sort of clueless sheet who knows!

frenemies...? like enemies that actually just have some weird tension they gotta get through :kissing:

literally anything u think scout would be good to fill like if u got any wcs?

OMGGG wait last one. i really want someone who her brother was in love with or like had feelings for and shit got crazayyyy after he died we can discuss

[dangantums]

so,,.,., i have the hc that kaito stress eats

could u write a fic of kaito stress eating and tries to tend to his stomach while lying down and ends up having to beg shuichi for a belly rub so they cuddle while shuichi rubs his belly..... u can include some burps too!!!!!!

Hey anon! I’m so incredibly sorry you had to wait so long. I hope you enjoy.

TLDR: Kaito stress eats, and ate too much while studying. Shuichi helps.

It was the night before one of the biggest exams of Kaito’s entire life. His entire school and college career led to this one test. His career depended on this test, he studied relentlessly for this exam and he’d be damned if he failed.

However, Kaito was not studying at the moment. Kaito was not at his desk at all. Instead, he was laid out on the living room couch, eyes half lidded and wiping some sweat off of his forehead. He was panting rather heavily and his other hand was resting on his bulging stomach.

What happened? Kaito was a stress eater. Whenever something was really getting on Kaito’s nerves, he had a sudden urge to eat. It was like a positive distraction, something to take his mind off of his stressor. For the past week or so, Kaito has been the most stressed he has ever been. Today was the worst day, however. He really overdid himself this time, and now he was paying the price.

Kaito’s fist rose to his mouth as his eyes squeezed shut. He felt a gurgle rise in his throat, then deep belch fell from his lips followed by a breathy moan. His stomach hurt. Badly. Kaito’s eyes opened again to glance back down at the mountainous mass of flesh. His usually flat, toned stomach was now extended outwards significantly. He brought both of his hands to feel around this new extended mass. It felt firm, almost completely solid. As his left hand lightly pressed into it and let go, he watched his belly wobble. Kaito sighed.

“Kaito?” a familiar voice called. Kaito’s head perked up a little as his eyes glanced to the source. A shorter, blue haired boy stepped into the room: it was Shuichi, his partner.

“Kaito?” Shuichi called again, not looking at the couch. “Where are y— oh..!”

Now, Shuichi’s eyes were wide, staring at this incredible new sight he had never seen before. Kaito sprawled out on the couch, both hands on a very full and taut belly. Kaito bit his bottom lip, still looking at Shuichi innocently.

“Woah…” Shuichi stammered. “A-Are you alright?”

“Mmph, no,” Kaito admitted. “I ate too much, Shuichi. My tummy really hurts.”

Shuichi had never seen Kaito act like this before: he was quiet and submissive. Not the Kaito Shuichi was used to: always yelling and overconfident. He must’ve felt pretty bad to have a whole personality change.

“W-What can I do to help?” Shuichi asked, stepping closer.

“Rub my tummy,” Kaito nearly begged. “Please Shu?”

Shuichi turned a dark shade of red at this request, but he nodded and inched closer to Kaito. Shuichi took a seat at the end of the couch, and watched Kaito slowly adjust his legs so Shuichi could sit in between them. Shuichi hesitated and his breath hitched. Nonetheless, he turned so he was facing Kaito. He could barely see Kaito over his aching tummy.

Shuichi cleared his throat, and then slowly placed both of his hands on Kaito’s tummy. Kaito shuddered, as Shuichi’s hands were a little cold. Then, Shuichi slowly started to work his hands back and forth over the taller man’s stomach.

Kaito grunted, then turned his head to the side as a sudden deep, long burp forced its way out of his mouth. Shuichi turned even redder, which was barely possible at this point.

“E-Excuse you,” Shuichi noted, giggling sheepishly afterwards. Kaito responded with a jostling hiccup, and another grunt.

Shuichi would continue this process of rubbing Kaito’s overworked gut for a long time. But, neither of them minded.

[coffeeshoptalkks]

nct 127 kibbe types

key: (D) dramatic, (SD) soft dramatic, (FN) flamboyant natural, (N) natural, (SN) soft natural, (DC) dramatic classic, (C) classic, (SC) soft classic, (FG) flamboyant gamine, (G) gamine, (SG) soft gamine, (TR) theatrical romantic, (R) romantic

the boyss ! ! ! 

taeil: SG? little unsure about this one... i considered R but his limbs are longer than an Rs would be but i would probably say he has a R essence as flowier fabrics like this look good on him

relatively large head in comparison to body

isnt delicate the way a TR would be

also TR lines don’t look great on him

im so sorry i always use ten for TR but like, TRs are freaking hard to type and hes non ambiguous so whoops

you can really see the contrast here

i feel like they always style him as a FG? and he just doesn’t have the yang to handle it 

think all the hair colors, excess excess amount of details that ty wears a lot

johnny: SD - sliGht C undertone 

long and lanky ass balloon man

thats all i got... jk. kinda

not a D, too much yin.

i’ve seen FN but really, hes not frame dominant, just looks tallish with a little squish in him

handles details decently well - oversized isn’t the best look

the reason i said a tiny c essence/undertone is because i prefer him in more minimalist SD clothing, more detail does start to look a little ridiculous (i promise i mean that in the nicest way possible lol, don’t come for my entp ass)

the classic comes in cause he looks PHENOMENAL in traditionally classic lines with a little umph and also looser classic lines (the yin in SD)

i needed to include this masterpiece

taeyong: FG. ah yes, the debate about ty... some argue D but he just doesn’t have the vertical line

(sitting somewhere btween D and FG, but FG fits better)

obviously a yang type

but you immediately remove any sort of natural and SD cause he isn’t wide and he isn’t squishy

doesn’t have the vertical line for a D, even from a lower angle you don’t look at him and go “yes, hes really tall” and thats what Ds are really about

it doesn’t matter how tall someone actually is, its how tall they appear to be, and taeyong just looks his height

think about how well ty carries every concept

thats a FG thing. (i can’t find the exact quote but a staff member said that its really interesting to style ty because u can put so many elements on him without it overpowering him

yuta: FG. if taeyong is a FG then so is Yuta

somewhere on the spectrum between FG and D but has to be put in FG just cause a dramatic’s first and foremost trait is vertical line

my next guess would be SD but really he doesnt have enough yin in him, hes all sharp

but because hes sitting somewhere in between he’s not gonna carry as much detail as a “purer(?)” FG

hes 100% yang based but doesn’t have the vertical line of a pure D

this looks phenomenal

he looks like a friggin anime character excUse me sir

i’m fine no i’m not

doyoung (dongyoung): SD. i’ve seen DC, and i do get the argument, but he isn’t as sharp as a DC would be.

you take a look at this and he just isn’t sharp in the way that seonghwa or vernon are

hes definitely a yang type but hes got an undercurrent of yin 

how do i explain this

SDs actually have a lot more yin than DCs despite them being placed closer to dramatic in a lot of graphs. (you know the ones i’m talking about)

even if you could make an argument for vertical line (as i think doyoung has a moderate to long one)

kai (a DC/C) is over 180 and yes he has a vertical line, but he has more yang than doyoung - hes just more boxy and has less yin

when i’m having trouble typing an idol i start looking really heavily at outfits and how they suit each style

doyoung just doesn’t make classic suits pop in the way a DC would

he looks restricted and needs a little extra yin detail to match 

the neck scarf with the draping absolutely ties this look together and he absolutely rocks it

he just doesn’t give me DC vibes and i really do think that SD fits him better

jaehyun: SC. leaning on pure classic with some sort of yin essence

okay, ngl i had problems with this one

I saw somewhere (probably reddit lmao) that jaehyun has a SD head on a not SD body... and i couldn’t agree more

my first instinct was to go to SD but really, he doesn’t have the vertical line and details don’t feel right

idk if its just how he’s styled but i really can’t find an era where i lOve what jaehyun is in

i genuinely think he’s just a larger boned SC with some SD mixed in with a weird combo of essences

a good example of a SC ish look is this where you can see the moderate vertical line (despite being 5′11/180)

it might be my personal bias coming in but i really do like him in more minimal and somewhat looser clothing opposed to him drowning in details

this confuses me cause it feels like it should work but it doesn’t...

this looks awesome this is pretty darn decent but i still feel like something is missing 

i compared jae’s vertical line to the SC poster boy joshua (svt 5th from the left) and kai (DC/C) and felt they josh’s was pretty similar but really, i wouldn’t rule out any of the classics or SD

idk if its just how he’s styled but i really can’t find an era where i lOve what jaehyun is in

tldr: big boned SC and thats as close as i’m gonna get lol

mark: FG. pretty self explanatory lol

leaning yang but obviously not a natural or (S) dramatic or classic

leaves you with FG

very sharp facial features

sharp sharp sharp

and a decent vertical line (looks his height ish)

rocks pretty much every hair color on the planet

if you asked me to nail down an essence i wouldn’t be able to hes just a FG lol

jungwoo: FN. classic essence

heres my problem with jungwoo... like jaehyun his type gets really ambiguous cause of essences not matching his actual body type (classic essence, FN type in this case)

because really, hes just too tall to be a DC,

too box like for SD

and his skin is much too yin to be a pure D (he is very squish, a true D - wonwoo svt is taught and yang through and through)

and once you rule out DC cause of height you’re kinda left with??

but his vertical line is just too prominent to be a DC, but hes not as shoulder heavy as most FNs and just?

*insert clown face*

a DC wouldn’t carry an oversized outfit like this

i actually like him in stuff like this, if not a little less oversized, he just looks so cozy

this gets close-ish but he looks a tad bit constricted

the reason i finally just gave in to FN is cause its as close as i think i can get. SD and D aren’t right, hes not a SN or pure N (jun svt) and in this pic (and others) you can kinda start to see that he IS actually more frame dominant than you first expect. (think like yanan pentagon, - minus the shoulders - super long limbs, lanky but still relatively squarish)

so FN it is

tldr: FN with a classic essence cause really thats (imo) the closest and best option you have and confused kpop fan 

haechan (donghyuck): G. right now i would put him in pure G but he might hit FG at some point in the future cause he isn’t 21 in international age and his type is still settling

boom vs resonance

okay its not that different but i sWEar hes picked up more yang somewhere

not a SG because his isn’t absolutely massive in comparison to the rest of his body 

chenle i’m looking at you (fifth from the left)

moderate to short-ish vertical line

sharp jawline vs squish face but he doesn’t have the sharp yang of a FG (mark)

just still got some squish on him 

[ziracona]

I am both kind of glad she didn't like. Spiral into thoughts or more realization of what exactly she's done to these people. But also not, because I love angst. So. Questions. Will she ever meet the other survivors? What will their interactions be like? Who do you think she gets along with most? Will she meet any other killers? (probs introduced by other survivors??) And also. A painful one but. Does the entity realize she's lying? Do you think you'll continue this story in anyway?

Haha, I feel that. Adiris certainly will hit that horror realization more completely than she did during her breakdown in the archives room. I think because of her realizations of both what she’s done and just how much danger she and they and everybody upstairs depending on her is in suddenly because of the truth, happening at the same, she had a whole lot of fear and anger in play (I was used and hurt and manipulated and lied to and made to suffer, whatever you[Not Nergal/Entity] are, you have been doing horrible stuff to innocent people for no good reason, my people have also been manipulated and lied to and forced to suffer, oh Gods what happens to us if he knows I know? What can I do to save my people and myself and these foreigners? Can I do anything?) and I think the immediacy of the parts of that she had to act on hit so hard it was her core focus, but next time she either is in a trial and has to method act through hunting down people she now knows are not murderers and infidels, or the first time she’s in a safer and more calm setting with the survivors and one of them mentions something, that will all uhhh, it’ll hit home. I’m sure. God, this poor woman.

Okay! For the questions.

“Will she ever meet the other survivors?”

Yes. Definitely, and all of them.

“What will those interactions be like?”

It’s hard to say since I haven’t written that yet, but probably exceedingly awkward. I think there’s a lot of inherent fear from them towards her, and like, how would you feel talking with someone you used to murder a lot because you thought they were the enemy? Nnnmnnnnn probably not great! TuT which is how she gon be feeling. I think she is very aware she’s coming from a place of power, and is also still super used to thinking of herself as a priestess/holy/kind of removed, so she’ll try to approach it like that. Reassuring, and thoughtful/careful to not be scary or threatening, but also in control and a little aloof. And probably after a little time with the survivors, who will all go from “Scary. D:” to “A curiosity but in a good way. Weird. Neat. Still kinda spooky.” to “I like her : )” and thinking of her the way they would any normal human (the normal version of the fkn speedrun Quentin & Dwight went through), she’ll have to adjust to being treated like a normal person, and the way 21st century humans act when they’re being casual and friendly—which honestly, not too different from being friendly throughout history, but sadly either way not something this girl is used to. I think it’ll be weird and she’ll be nervous to try shifting identities from one of the only two things she’s ever known how to be, and into normal human and friend, but that it’ll also be really welcome. Because she has literally never gotten to have a family or a normal life or a friend or any single goddamn healthy or even decent relationship with another living human being. And like, god, humans need that. On a DNA level—We die in isolation. And she hasn’t been “isolated,” but she’s been mostly isolated her whole life, and she sure as hell has never ever gotten to belong or have any kind of certainty or permanence in her relationship, even her spiritual ones. She needs that. She just needs someone to look at her, go: “There’s a human being right there, and I see who she is, and I think she’s very worthwhile. I would like to keep her in my life.” God, she needs that so, so badly. I don’t think she knows it, but she really, really, desperately does.

And she deserves it, too. None of the abandonments or alienations or failures in her life are things she did wrong. But when that kind of thing keeps happening to a person, it sure as hell makes them feel like it. So, haha, sorry, got carried away (the name of my memoir probably >.>). But I think she’d be awkward, and confused, and then nervous, because she’d be invited into something she has literally never had, doesn’t know how to do right, but also desperately wants without fully understanding, which is a terrifying combination to work with socially. But then deeply impacted and happy and moved. Also afraid—I mean, girl smiled without doing it on purpose one time and flipped out emotionally with no idea why, because every time she has felt attachment or sought belonging or thought she had it her whole life, she’s been routinely betrayed and abandoned. She’s a lot more than once burned. But after the initial fear, she would be a mixture of happy and very awkward, and then eventually hopefully just exceedingly happy and also proud of herself and confident. I listened to I’m Still Here from Treasure Planet a lot while writing Adiris. Like, a lot.

“Who do you think she gets along with most?”

Hmmm, well, Dwight and Quentin I think will always be special to her after the day in the temple. Claudette is a sweetie who will definitely try to help alleviate sickness symptoms and be maybe the single least afraid to touch her of all the survivors, and that can’t help but be meaningful. Meg & she have a lot of complimentary similar personality traits, Jeff is super kind & also a great artist so he’ll probably be group interpreter & she’ll be around him a lot, and since Tapp is 2 and 0 so far on drawing bullet barrel in friend luck Russian roulette and keeps befriending women with absentee fathers, I can only assume that means she will end up close with Tapp as well. It’s too funny for him not to be 3 & 0. The world itself demands it. Beyond that, I’d have to write interactions and see how they fall. 👈👈😎 (Also a large part of how she feels about Meg & maybe also Ace, possibly Nea too, maybe even Feng, will come down to how she feels about being flirted with shamelessly. F in the chat for my poor confused ancient Mesopotamian. 😔)

“Will she meet any other killers?”

Yes, definitely. And it will be very interesting to me to see that.

“Does the Entity’s realize she’s lying?”

No. It absolutely does not. Queen method acted hard enough to give herself trauma—the first person experience thoughts and narrative are what she lived, and luckily the Entity is an emotion sponge, not a mind reader. It may or may not have been aware Quentin & Dwight were in the room (legit just depends on if it decided to/thought to look, which I don’t know, because I didn’t need to to write the scene & it be like that sometimes, but regardless of if it did, the outcome is basically unchanged. Either it didn’t look because Adiris clearly wasn’t lying, from its POV, as she felt nothing but what she exhibited outwardly as well. Or it did look for them, saw they were under there, and thought nothing of it because it lined up with her story. She said they ran off. Wouldn’t be weird for them to go to the Archives to try to steal information, or hide, or even just get lost. And it had no reason to expose them if it did see, because if it had dragged them out, it would have had to do something Adiris would understand to them, and it’s really just easier to give itself time to figure out in what way to do its “Nergal the God” aftermath, than to do it right in the room on the spot. TLDR: No, it has no clue. She method acted the fuck out of that situation, and there was nothing weird to sense, so it didn’t. Queen out-bullshitted the Entity.

“Will you continue the story in any way?”

Harder question. Probably? Likely? Maybe? Hard to say. I would love to, but I also have four, five other stories right now? Ever since I made a dumb Fate joke about having four multipath AUs, my brain has been trying to convince me to adapt New Dawn Fades, From the Earth of No Return, and some fourth, as yet unchosen story, into full length monsters. But I might die. Like, y’all, ILM is a hunk of book. If I recall correctly from back when I saw my word count, got nervous, and looked stuff up, if I published a physical single volume copy of ILM, it would become the longest single volume book ever published in a physical single book form. Which I both kinda want to do now just for the knowledge of it, but also!!! That’s SO much, like, I don’t even know how that happened. Like I am immensely proud, but also kinda like wtf? Did I drug me?? And also mostly just because rip @ me that the longest work I have written is a fic I /can’t/ ever publish or include in a resume or reel or anything. :’-](Also, @ the speed readers who did ILM in under two weeks, HOW? And please teach me your absolutely terrifying powers). I don’t plan, even if I do full length stuff again, to make another ILM length one or something. But even then, full length is big! (Also I live in fear of saying this to myself, trying to write, and becoming:

Like u have no idea rip lol.) It takes a whole bunch of time to do books, and like, I do fic books because I love it! Like SO much. It has and does bring me great joy. But, it can get a liiiittle daunting too. It eats up most of my free time to all my free time, if I get super into it.

So yes, I would really like to adapt it further. I have the barest of bones for an outline, I even have two possible endings already envisioned and several major events more fleshed out! : D But if I do write more long-form full novels for DbD, even in more manageable sizes than their forebearer, I’d try to do them in the order I began. Which means Signifying Nothing—the prequel to ILM about Philip’s time with Vigo, Alex, & Benedict (which is a will do, not if), then New Dawn Fades (the ongoing fic I have on AO3 centered around Joey & Quentin’s relationship), then From the Earth of No Return. Which for the record, my soul very much wants to adapt. Every time I hear Brave Shine now, I see cool TV show opens for it in my head. TuT But I guess the best I can say is, “We’ll see”? Since fics aren’t like my paying job or smth, it depends largely on my personal & work life & how much time I have to devote to for-passion writing. So, I guess the short answer is I’d love to, and I hope to, I’d even say I think I intend to sometime, but I’m not completely certain I’ll be able.

[prorevenge]

A complete lack of foresight.

To preface, the scenario involves my roommate (lets call her Callie), her ex (lets call him Tweakie McGee), myself, Tweakies fling, Nikki, and my roommates dog, an adorable bluenose pittie (lets go with Derpy)

Keep in mind, I myself am 25, Callie is 25 as well, but Tweakie McGee is 19. This will be relevant later.

TL:DR at the bottom. This is a long one.

Now, this story begins with my roommate. She had just gotten out of an exhausting, but not necessarily abusive relationship, and she was on lookout for something casual while she regained her independence and reclaimed her life. Unfortunately, Tweakie McGee came around and made himself at home in our house.

At first, it wasn't too bad. We're all moderate stoners, and he knew the right people, so it seemed like a fair give and take, considering we didn't pay for much smoke throughout the time he was essentially squatting, but he put forth nothing when it came to groceries and bills.

Now my roommate was far enough removed from her previous relationship at this point to be fiercely protective of her independence, but given the age difference, she chalked up some glaringly obvious red flags when they began to present.

Tweakie got his pet name for a number of reasons, but the main one was this: he had an adderol prescription (20mg). As he was prescribed the meds, he chomped on quite a few, but it quickly spiraled into a 10 pill per day habit (first, he was just chomping, but began to snort them off our livingroom table after about 2 weeks).

As his habit progressed, Callie also partook, as she has a very demanding job, and the extra energy helped her through her 70 hour weeks. I believe that this is another reason why she put up with it as long as she did. As their 'relationship' progressed, the oh so common side effects of stimulant abuse began to creep onto both of them (irritability, poor short term memory, inability to accurately communicate emotions/thoughts). Since I did my best to stay out of their relationship, (as it's not my place to interfere in something I know her to be smart and mature enough to handle) I never really got involved, but she and I had many deep conversations while he was out on runs.

I felt like our talks were making headway until one day, Tweakie McGee got a bug in his ass and started impetuously bringing up the idea of getting a dog. Keep in mind, we live in a college town, and while we're both out of school, we work full time in a very small 2 bedroom house. She was apprehensive at first since she was already going through the motions of cutting him off, but she had also wanted a dog for years at this point.

After 2 weeks of Callie and Tweakie visiting various shelters, they decided on Derpy.

Derpy was an absolutely adorable 6 month old bluenose pitbull with one of the most prominent personalities I have ever seen in a dog (my family used to train dogs professionally). Incredibly playful, super smart, and the perfect demeanor for a small house with a bigger backyard.

Now, only being your friendly neighborhood stoner, and not partaking in the speedy delights, I saw it for what it was, but she was blinded by the adorable pup. Tweakie knew that Callie was setting the stage to kick his ass to the curb, and thought that a dog was the perfect ball and chain for the situation, but his age (and addiction) caught up with him.

All the paperwork and payments were made in Callie's name, including the registration paperwork, initial vet visits, professional pet sitters, toys, ect... Since she works incredibly long hours, and Tweakie essentially being a bum, he got the thought in his head that the dog was his, and when push came to shove, he could keep him.

Well the day of reckoning came after about 3 weeks of escalating early morning arguments and general irritation, and while I was at work, the breakup finally happened. Cops ended up being called, but no blows were thrown. Tweakie packed all his shit up and drove it back to his mothers, then came back - told Callie he was leaving, and took Derpy with him. At this time, the cops that showed up had no idea what had been transpiring, and let him walk off with the dog.

Less than 24 hours later, Callie had made so many calls to the police department/lawers/pet advocacy groups, that she had her course of action laid out. After the filing was complete, she was beyond paranoid because of the threat of retaliation. (I'm a pretty big dude 6'4" 235, so I knew I could stand my ground, but she's a tiny lil' thing, and i have a full time job)

In my state, any disputes regarding animals are to be settled in civil court, and the pets are treated as property. Now I don't know about y'all, but pets are family, and do not deserve to be treated on the same base as property.

The next day, she had filed a civil suit in an attempt to get Derpy back. At her first court date, she presented all the evidence of her ownership of Derpy, as well as the resources she has available to her in order to provide the best level of care for the pup. Tweakie countered with a slew of baseless accusations essentially claiming that she had been abusive to Derpy (false) and that she doesn't have the time nor resources to properly take care of him (also false).

Unfortunately the civil court system tends to draw these things out. The court eventually ruled in her favor and ordered Tweakie to return Derpy, but when the cops turned up, apparently Derpy had "ran away". Before this, she was only trying to get Derpy back, and not really seeking any financial compensation/punishment.

By this time (Approx. 2 months after the breakup, which is bullshit on it's own) he had already been in and out of a relationship with another woman, Nikki.

Nikki had been around, and heard about the court shit, but didn't know the other party. Once she found out it was Callie who Tweakie had fucked over, she started messaging Callie, telling her a bunch of info about Derpy, as they were friends back in the day.

It turns out that in the time since the breakup, Tweakie had been staying with his mother, and honest to goodness hoarder with about 10sqft of usable space in her apartment. Tweakie was also unable to take Derpy out on walks or on pup play dates due to the fact that there was still a return order for Derpy.

One day, he took Derpy to his dealers house who also has 2 pitties of his own, however Derpy is in his teenage stage, and began.. uh.. getting fresh with one of the other pits, and ended up getting pretty brutally attacked. Since the return order was still in effect, and the info about him and the dog was given to every vet within 50 miles, he couldn't take him to get treatment.

** Tweakie also made a deal with this dealer to essentially pimp out Nikki, which was one of the many reasons she was on our side.

Upon hearing this, Callie (now off the uppers and much more clearheaded) absolutely fucking lost it. She went to her lawyer to see if there was anything she could do to expedite the return of Derpy. Turns out she had a few options.

Cut to today. Tweakie has officially been charged with felony theft and animal abuse/neglect charges, and they're wrapping up the legal process with pleas and other legal whatnot. He faces up to 8 years in prison, and if he doesn't return Derpy within 1 week from today, he will receive the maximum sentence. There is also a separate case in the works from Nikki regarding the whole shady pimping shit he tried to pull, as well as (unsuprisingly) charges for possession/manufacturing with intent to distribute Meth and Cocaine.

Part of me feels bad for him because he absolutely nuked the rest of his life at such a young age, but Callie and I both know that he wasn't going to get any better regardless. He had his chance, and he squandered it.

​

** Sorry for any formatting issues. I work third shift, and have been a walking zombie for a long ass time.

TLDR - My roommates casual tweaker boyfriend coerces her to get a dog, then proceeds to break up with her and keep the dog for himself, even though he has no right, and absolutely no ability to give the dog a comfortable life. Tweaker ends up trying to pimp out his new girlfriend and the dog had gotten attacked. Roomie only wanted the dog back with no financial compensation, but now the tweaker is looking at a minimum of 8 years in prison plus more for various drug charges.

(source) story by (/u/suicidal_ideation_)

[kimmysfandomblog]

Hinata + Nanami? ^u^

Thanks for the ask, Azalea!!! ＼(＾∀＾）メ（＾∀＾）ノ

From here: https://kimmysfandomblog.tumblr.com/post/166725158952/give-me-two-characters-in-my-inbox

Sorry, you’re gonna get a very long response because I have a lot of mixed feelings about them haha. If you want the short answer, for the most part I see them platonically ^^; That’s an oversimplification of how I see them, but there’s the TLDR haha

Um but I am a serious lover of AI Kamukura x AI Nanami! (AI Kamukura is like red-eyed/different personality Hinata, right? lol)That’s a ship I feel could actually work canonically and would be super cute honestly! the first published fanfic I made was for them haha. Go KAMUNAMl!

So again, for the most part, I see them platonic only. When I played SDR2, I didn’t really notice romantic interest much at all? I know, it was so  obvious to people, either saying it’s canon, or it was forced. Well, I thought she was just a very supportive friend, one I would like to have as well.

Later on, at the same time as I was going through and doing FTEs, I found it very cute. Then, going back to Chapter 2 and on, I saw the “obvious” signs I missed. For a monogamous ship, Komaeda and Hinata appealed to me more, but I definitely appreciated Hinata and Nanami. I ended up preferring TPG where Nanami and Komaeda are both helping Hinata in their own ways, and even set up headcanons on what their friendship would be like. I saw them in a more romantic light only after reading a fanfiction called “Finally in Love.” But just HinaNami, I can’t say I ever fully shipped it? But I thought it was cute. It’s like my feel about Naegi and Kirigiri, where as long as they are happy together, amke each other happy, and care for one another, then I didn’t care.

But then DR3 came along, and at first it was kinda cute and I was excited to see Nanami, but at this point I had hopes there’d finally be some TPG interaction (but Ko never meets Hinata) and I was already more K0maHlna at the time. As the story progressed, I was finding myself not liking the ship since this time it really did feel like I was being force-fed a ship, and it seemed like Nanami was not as good for Hinata as I thought. I was in denial about Nanami being that bad a character, but then I finally accepted DR3 Nanami was terrible, while also trying to remember DR2 was not.

Then there was the discourse of Nanami being an all-around Mary Sue that got worse and worse. There was Nanami hate from both DR2 and DR3 which upset me to the point I reblogged a few things in her defense. I felt bad later because people kept saying how their feelings are legitimate/they can say what they want/etc. Just.... please not in the tags....

I still hate that people were so proud that they openly showed their hatred of a character, and then hypocritically defended Komaeda when people began attacking him. As far as I could see, neither side were in the right and I wanted them to shut up and let me love two of my faves in peace.

I used to be into pretty much all variations of TPG, including Kamukura. K0maHlna at #1, and HinaN@mi/KamuK0ma/KamuN@mi/KomaN@mi all tied at #2 for being cute ships/interesting, but the discourse made me hate some top KamuK0ma fans and HlnaN@mi fans for always being the ones that would start the character hate and shipping hate in the tags. As for the ships themselves, there’s now only so much HlnaN@mi I can take.

I tried to show my support for HlnaN@mi week, but well, I had to give up because I was getting reminded of BAD times. I’m sure if KamuK0ma gets a week, it would be the same story there, too.

That’s partly why I actually ship K0maN@mi more now. Every Nanami hater always points out canonically she had no interested in Komaeda, but her personality should have been more nurturing and she supposedly loved all her classmates equally (as well as breaking K0maHlna let’s be real that’s what it was about). That’s why I come up with scenarios where they are the best of friends, maybe even developed into something more, and it made me ship K0maN@mi over HlnaN@mi, kind of like a defense against all the Nanami haters (and Komaeda haters that hate Komaeda because he’s popular and they don’t like his motives and they hate him for breaking HlnaN@mi).

I don’t know, there’s so much to feel. Sometimes I can see HlnaN@mi fanworks and remember how cute it was and how I used to ship it. Other times, seeing it makes me.... feel a bit sick (especially DR3 Nanami) remembering all the hate Komaeda got when he had understandable (not neceassarily forgiveable) reasons for his actions. The same goes for KamuK0ma where sometimes I remember thinking it was cute/interesting, and other times I get reminded about how they proudly smashed Nanami’s character as if their opinion was superior over others.

I guess as a final answer, I much prefer them platonically, and how I feel about them romantically really varies! I wish it didn’t haha. The only way I can ship them for sure romantically is if they both date Komaeda and worry about his self-deprecation and take very good care of him, hahaha. That’s really sweet to think about, right?

[ceceliapegasus]

@ ami wtf why r u such a liar tbh

friend, i do not know but i really meant it when i said i’d bottle my emotions but this weekend’s latest stress escapade may or may not have seriously given me an aneurysm lm@0

wnya sorry not sorry nobody actually reads this and to the one person i know that does read this, i am so sorry i do not deserve you as a friend because i am actually a terrible person as you will see ahead, but i love and appreciate you and any future friendship you may give me, thank you for always being there

ahem ahem

TO START OFF: IT IS DAY FOUR OF MY LEFT TEMPORAL HEADACHE IT IS MOST LIKELY CAUSED BY THE BUILDING STRESS OF THIS WEEKEND WHICH INCLUDED 2 MAJOR TESTS, WHICH I WAS /NOT/ ADEQUATELY ABLE TO STUDY FOR PLUS THE EMOTIONAL LABILITY OF MY OWN STUPIDITY WORRYING ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE ABSOLUTELY /NOT/ MY BUSINESS AND TO WHICH I HAVE /NO/ REASON TO BE “ UPSET “ OVER IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE GETTING WORSE I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE TRIED GOOGLING IT AND AM NOW IN THE “ DO I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR OR A RIDICULOUSLY OVERDUE AND WEEKLONG MIGRAINE / TENSION HEADACHE “ ? ? ?

anyway this long diary.txt dump , i am hoping will alleviate the headache itself, by coming clean with my “ emotional baggage “ weh ami, weh

uh, just to document my progress ?

i take nightly flexeril ( 10 mg ) and motrin ( 600 mg ) and have been for the past week ( ? ) - ish and this is unchanged

i took one 500 mg tylenol 3 days ago, no relief to headache

2 days ago, took 1000 mg of tylenol for the headache, no improvement

yesterday, took a total of 2000 mg tylenol, 100 in the morning and 1000 with my nightly flexeril and motrin after dinner, no improvement

today around 1330, took an aleve ( 220 mg ), nothing

about an hour ago, at like, 2130 ? i took an aspirin ( 81 mg ) just to test if im stroking out or smth from all the bad emo stuff im putting myself through but it has done nothing yet

which is both good ( i didnt have a stroke ? ) and bad ( my head still hurts )

im on the verge of tears, which is making my headache worse again honestly, but i cant help it and im just so lonely and unstable right now

but anyway, to the main ( ? ) point of this post i suppose

ive been stressing over something not within my capacity of control nor is it any of my business being upset over because it physically has nothing to do with me but i am inherently a jealous person and have been since all of my previous friendships ( ? ) have ended the same way and as i have repeatedly grinded in my oh-so personal-online-not-really-personal-and-actually-very-public diary right here, ive never liked who i was, i dont think i ever will, and no matter how much i want to change i do not think my emotions will, lol :3c

essentially, i suppose change makes me uncomfortable

i ,, , dont even want to get into this because its ridiculously obvious when i say it out loud but im so uncomfortable with the fact that someone i know and felt so close to did not disclose their personal affairs to me, which is, fucking, absolutely, NONE OF MY !! GODDAMN BUSINESS !! SO WHY AM I ?? SO NOSY !?

but due to this fact, having been left in the dark to let my brain think whatever bad thoughts it wants, i have become uncomfortable with the people they hang out with the most due to the ... sexual openness the friend displays ( ? ) towards my said friend when said friend never ... mentioned anything ??? about them or this aspect even tho said friend is low key not open about their personal life at all... ( which isnt bad ) which is why i never spoke of this situation at all, up until a point where it became ( too late to ask and ) obvious and out in the open that, wow, ami you big buffoon, this was consensual the whole time probably and is now public, congrats you disgusting shitstain for thinking otherwise and, for being a terrible person because theyre cute together and appreciate each other very much

and to be perfectly honest im just acting like a kid who had their favorite toy taken / given away, and i demand to be treated as such a fool because i deserve nothing but pity in this situation

but uh, point in case tldr i just, had to unfollow a sweet person, whom i actually share a few interests with, i noticed, but nonetheless a nice person who has been nothing but sweet and civil to me, simply because we share a common friend and said mutual is happy while i marinate in envy hell b/c i feel like ive been kicked out of the bff spot ? ? ? ( SEE: X ) even tho im sure, in retrospect, i never owned the spot nor did it exist firstly

ANYWAY, thats as vague as i can GET without it being obvious but it still is obvious eskbjvldznsfbohdnljbs

if you finished this, feel free to CONFRONT ME cause i mean honestly i made a big deal out of this for nothing cause i felt bad and it snowballed and i still feel bad but for 30 extra reasons so im at that point, sorry

UHM, ANYWAY x2, i hope this somehow helps with the headache ? cause this is the only thing i can honestly think of that is legitimately causing it

and i put my gross ass out there so no ragrets i guess. ill blow my brains out tho if it doesnt improve b/c that just leads me more to believe i gave myself a tumor for /NOTHIN/

i just somehow came to the conclusion you were being extorted or something so here we are wwwwwwwwwww and now i guess im bitter cause i was wrong ? i DUNNO, sorry

ur also free to shoot me after reading this whole atrocious shebang :3c treat me like dirt step on m i dont deserve your friendship, in all seriousness, or the attention it took to get through this shady ass note soo lemme know !  ♡ if u wanna

SIGH DONE FINITE-O BAM

[lesbianaang]

omg i totally forgot until right now that i was tagged by @pharahhs thenk u so much!!! 

my favorite films: 

 1. The Imitation Game - i love my historical gays. this film really beautifully balances turing's incredible work and contributions to science, his historical importance, and the tragedy of his arrest and death all while constantly keeping his gayness at the forefront. i really think in the hands of someone else his gay identity would've been more or less overlooked until his death so i'm soooo glad that it’s a running and important thread throughout. also includes my favorite quote of all time where keira knightley’s character essentially says that turing was important and brilliant and heroic not /in spite/ of his queerness but BECAUSE of it like that changed me. i've already gone on too long and i could go on longer but just know that i once made a full pamphlet about this movie including its historical context and critiques and the importance of its message to be handed out at my school's lgbtqa center just to be extra so like..... i can't recommend it enough tbh 

 2. Little Women (1994) - my first introduction to little women was the song "astonishing" from the musical version of it which just expresses jo march's longing to be more than what's around her and truly find and reach her potential, which struck the most potent chord with little closeted 6th grade me who lived in the midwest but wanted nothing more than to be in nyc. so then one day years later, the movie is playing on hallmark or something so on a whim i decide "what the heck" and sit down to watch it expected to be bored by the first commercial break. but winona ryder's jo march is so captivating and full of life and longing and is imaginative and dedicated and independent and ambitious and smart but still so caring and full of love - i instantly clicked with her on every level and felt her every move. that's also nothing to say about how feminist and gender non conforming and honestly fucking GAY she is like if being utterly devastated because your male best friend is in love with you but you just.... can't reciprocate and now he's ruined everything ISNT a lesbian narrative than i don't know what is tbh. tldr; butch lesbian jo march is the definition of #formative

 3. Perks of Being a Wallflower - i..... don't know what to say except i was an introverted kid who struggled with finding friends and had depression in high school so of course i love this movie with all my heart.  also #formative

4. Pride - this is such a wonderful story about coalition building and i've been thinking a lot about it recently given the political situation. i'm a slut for queer history and this movie gives me so much hope and inspiration. also features an innocuous scene of a long-term gay couple just laying in bed together cuddling and talking about whatever the crazy young kids are doing and it was so intimate and sweet that i literally had to pause the movie bc i was crying bc HOW OFTEN do we see such casual queer intimacy like that??????? watch it for that scene alone tbh

 5. The Little Mermaid - this is kinda a place holder for like all of disney's animated movies which shaped me so much and hold such a special place in my heart and yeah have their problems but honestly even dissecting and dragging them is so fun. little mermaid gets the top slot tho (despite its... several issues lol) bc i was OBSESSED with it as a child so it has the most nostalgia and feels the most like home.  also we get another “female heroine who feels as though she doesn’t belong where she’s at right now and longs for MORE” thread going on here bc i’m predictable as fuck.  and hans christen andersen’s gay ass wrote the original fairytale as an allegory for his gay love for another man so like technically its gay????? check and mate atheists (altho mulan and hunchback of notre dame get honorable mentions for being so f*cking good, just less #formative)

this is.... much longer than intended i’m so sorry and thanks if you stuck with me here lmao

i’m tagging: @rachel-berry @lost-inmadness and @jesusthelastairbender for fun if you’re feeling it or w/e