#sorry it took a bit for me to reply

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

Hullo! No “Death Comes to Pemberley”? Matthew Rhys is my all-time favorite Darcy.

As Death Comes to Pemberley was set after the book I didn't put those men in (I was very tempted as I love Matthew Goode as Wickham) but here is another mini-poll

[meownotgood]

uhm mags.. d-do you have.. uh- like a folder or album of some sort of- uh.. aki nsfw fanart? maybe share? 👉🏻👈🏻

i save em in my files for- uhm.. research. I kinda need more? thanks 🫶🏻

I'll bless u anon cos I'm nice. be blessed by aki filth

one (also here's the source) (this one's my favorite huehue)

two, three, four, five (this artist has so many great works)

six

seven and eight (it's aki + himeno so ignore if you don't like)

nine and ten

eleven (this is a video with audio so TURN YOUR SOUND OFF) (also I don't really like the audio in general tbh... so I recommend watching without lol)

twelve (also akimeno) (but the way this artist draws aki..... so cute and hot)

[melverie]

on a scale of 1 to satan how bbg is mephisto

Satan has had far more time to establish his place as the ultimate babygirl (to me at least), so I can't give Mephisto the honor of being anywhere near his level but man the devs are making sure that he's at least getting close

I mean he

is the local horsegirl

apparently has a massive sweet tooth

stakes his entire self-worth on being useful to the future ruler of the land

seems to be great with kids

is super diligent. Just look at how much effort he is putting into journalism despite absolutely having no interest in pursuing that field in the future

is an honorary member of the Anti-Lucifer League, yet refuses to spread any false information about him in the school newspaper and mostly ends up singing his praises instead

runs said newspaper (and as someone who did the same for a year, I respect that a lot)

isn't really all that interested in MC, which is a nice change of pace

and finally, seems to dye his hair purple which makes him look like an eggplant <3

Also when he saved MC from falling on the ground and then brushed it off afterwards because he "only did what anyone would have done" back in season 4? That part was so good

ALSO Solmare could easily give him the perfect blushing face. Just look at him

[iodotsys]

I'm sorry please but one more question,, (⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝) I love your Dib the most of Dibs AU, He is nasty but loveable, I wish he had story of him and your AU, will you write ? Have a good day 🌹

Your wish is my command. I have decided to start writing for my horrible sad Dib and you all get to read it.

I'm well into chapter 1. Have some ambiguous art from it.

[radiantarray]

i read ur recent cabanela posting and YOU UNDERSTAND you understand. *dreamy sigh* Cabs dragging his broken beat body up the stairs *dreamy sigh* He's so interesting in how he genuinely fucked up so badly with the interrogation. And how despite the view people had on cabs and jowd in the 5 years between the manipulators escape and almas death in practice they were more so the opposite, at least thats how i see cabs line when jowd appears. what a crazy character :^)

YIPPEEEEE ANOTHER CABANELA ENJOYER

and god YEAH. his body is busted up and his only confidant is dead and everything he’s been working towards for 5 years is lost and his only hope is the gun in his coat?? And that agony doesn’t get reset? And then his closest friends run off to finish what he can’t and he’s left behind in a quiet office with broken ribs, waiting for the paramedics and wondering if his friends will make it? *twirls hair* *heart eyes* hehe

and YES i actually love the fact that it was his fault that the culprit escaped and then jowd also fucks up by firing a warning shot. Like they aren’t beset upon by fate this was something they both had a hand in causing bc they were too rash so the guilt is real and i fucking LOVE IT

also so true i think about that a lot.. like i personally headcanon “natural genius at investigating” cabanela as a pretty cocky and impulsive detective when he was younger (as opposed to jowds thorough investigation style). and then post manipulator escape the guilt probably sets in and he starts to be more restrained and play his hand close to the chest, maybe taking some pages out of jowds book

[lastlymatt]

I think it's a couple things. Firstly, Yassen has a blind spot when it comes to Alex. He has Alex here and now, and he doesn't want to lose that. So he won't think about the reality that Alex isn't cut out for Scorpia and won't stay at his side forever. He pushes Alex to try and get him to be on the same page, so he can try to pretend Alex is going to stay.

Secondly, Yassen knows Alex won't kill. He stopped the training session when Alex wouldn't hurt anyone, and never replied to Nile when he told Yassen how weak Alex is. He may not acknowledge it, but he knows. And similarly, we see that Yassen doesn't like to kill either. He says it's a weakness when you love killing. Yassen works for Scorpia just because he's good at killing and it's a job, but he doesn't relish in it. So I think he sees himself as different from Nile and the others who enjoy killing, and therefore sees Alex as an outsider as well, and they have another strange connection that way.

Also, pretty sure Yassen thinks Alex can't leave without being killed by Scorpia anyway. No one leaves, as Julia said. So to him, there isn't a world where Alex leaves him. He either stays with Yassen or he dies.

Referring to this post

All of those are excellent points!

I am a big fan of Yassen having a Rider-shaped hole in his defences. And if the show uses any RR canon, then the outsider who doesn't want to kill connection can even be interpreted as Yassen seeing himself in Alex and wanting to take on the role of John in the relationship (with all the misinterpreted lessons included)

And yeah, it makes complete sense for him to have that mentality of "he stays or he dies", and it makes him very protective, and I love that.

In any case, thank you so much for your thoughts! ❤️

[languajix]

While everyone is saying goodbye to each other, The Wrong Side of the Portal Mikey and Michelangelo from cabin 10 approach you!

They... don't seem upset like everyone else.

"Want some stickers?" Michelangelo asks, holding out a bunch of stickers for you to choose from. "We have enough."

"They glow in the dark!" Mikey cheerfully added, bouncing on his heels. "Like our magic! To remember us."

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

"Stickers! Shell yeah. I love stickers," Mike said, gently rifling through them.

El ended up picking for him when those tiny, clumsy fingers wrapped around a series of red sparkly squiggle stickers, and Mike helped him carefully extricate it from the stack before looking back up at these two Michelangelos that he'd come to be friends with during his time at camp.

He was sad. He didn't let it show in his face or body language, but that was because he was used to pretending that things were okay when they were really, really not. He'd miss these guys.

…they'd see each other soon enough?

It seemed impossible, given how hard Donnie had struggled for so long to break the dimensional barrier. He hesitated to think that anybody could do it if his own Donnie, the smartest person he knew, couldn't.

He'd like to hope, though.

Hope was hard, and it hurt when it crashed, but Mike was good at fanning the smallest flame of it, when he wanted. And maybe, maybe he really did. Want to hope, that was.

Either way, "I'm so glad I got to know you during this whole," Mike motioned to the camp around them. "I swear, you guys have been the most welcoming, all-around coolest dudes."

El waved his new sticker set at Mikey and Michelangelo with a grin, as though showing it off.

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

[lazybakerart]

1/2 dude, listened to silver springs by fleetwood mac and feel like i've been gutted like a FISH cos it's such a harringrove song. tell me these lines don't make you wanna fall to your knees and WEEP: "Don't say that she's pretty/ And did you say that she loved you? Baby, I don't want to know" // & "Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me I know I could have loved you But you would not let me"?? imagining a school reunion au where steve & billy meet again after like 10 years & realise

2/2 they're still eachother's longest relationship cos they never stopped loving the other. it just feels like the song could be from either of their perspectives & that makes me feel insane. old insecurities arose which made billy believe steve was still in love with nancy&steve not being able to handle being shut out all the time when he has so much love to give but billy not allowing him to love him?! anyway! happy endings only &they get back together &bang over a desk in an empty classroom

i'm here for every single reunion au. billy leaves town after prom night and 20 years later is coincidentally back in town for the reunion when neil dies and billy has to deal with his Shit. steve hearing billy is back and not expecting to see him at the reunion but there he is! steve is pissed at him and billy is on a tight-wire of emotions like he's seventeen again and they both get smashed and end up angrily fucking in the empty locker room after billy picks the lock. emotions are everywhere. steve's a divorcé. billy's a wreck. 20 years of pent up Feelings explode.

[uygfiug]

Look whom we have heeere:

Oedemera flavipes

I thiiink

!!! lovely little guy you have there :)

yknow that bug that reminded me of you? this one is very closely related to that one! the males also have big legs, so thats how you can tell that this is a female :)

they eat pollen & nectar, so youll often find them on flowers :) theyre also pollinators :)) here are some pictures of various oedemera species on flowers, bc i feel like i need to add pictures :)

larvae usually grow up inside the stems of herbs :)

just like blister beetles, most oedemera species contain cantharidin, which can cause blisters. it also works as an aphrodisiac, although the dose you need for any effects is very close to the one that will kill you, so maybe dont

they wont secrete it unless you hurt them though, they might coat their eggs with it, but an individual bug cant ever give you a dangerous amount of this stuff

[beththeb01]

Do you ever think about the cognitive dissonance of thhis conversation?

Solas: What is the old Dalish curse? "May the Dread Wolf take you"?

Aka: Solas using his title as a curse. The Dalish tales about him being a trickster, a liar, betrayer, have been finally fulfilled after centuries. He lied to her. He betrayed her.

Inky: And so he did.

Aka: All the Dalish stories about Dread Wolf tricking you, misleading you, turned out to be true in her situation, and she didn't see it coming.

Solas: I did not. I would not lay with under false pretenses.

Aka: I lied to you only by omission about my identity, not about my feelings. And I would never stoop so low as to trick you into having sex with a man you didn't truly know.

Inky: But you lied to me. I loved you. Did you really think I wouldn't have understood?

Aka: Intimacy is not the topic of the conversation here, you lied to me, you led me astray, you could have told me the truth and you chose not to.

Like there is 4 different conversations going on and they are not even aware of it xD

There's an irony that this time he isn't even trying for double speak. Or misdirection.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Sorry I tried leaving this as comments on your reply to my ask but there was just too much waffle and it was all jumbled so I’m putting it here😂😂

Sorry it took me a MARATHON of time to reply to, I can’t explain how pleased it makes me that this comment made your day bc honestly every time you update it always seems to be during a v tough week and it’s just this ultimate stress relief and enjoyment that I so so love🥹

Just to quickly waffle about what you said, I’m so appreciative of how you fret over the characters sounding real bc it pays off SO MUCH and though I’m still of the mind that you’ve been given this unique ability to read their minds, I can recognise it must take so much studying of their characters and the words you choose and to have such a phenomenal skill <3333

And honestly I LOVE watching him have all these realisations through Suzy bc it’s so real and so satisfying and I’m so excited (but also terrified bc poor woman how do you compete with soul mates) to see how everything unfolds between them all.

And the LITTLE DETAILS that you should honestly trademark bc you do them so well 😭 but I literally have this growing list in my mind that I need to write down cause they make my heart flutter they’re so intimate and careful :’) I could literally waffle about them all day.

You’re so right, they have SUCH a special dynamic, and often I find it frustrating with real life ships bc it’s not like with films where though characters can be deep they have a specific kind of basis to them which fits a role. Real people are so complex and so it’s not 24/7 that someone gets them so right that you feel like you’re watching a segment of their lives (milex writers in general do tend to have an uncanny ability to write them brilliantly) but with you it feels like everything you write can just be added on to their actual interactions and it’s perfection.

I’m so so pleased that my ramblings had an impact on getting your confidence back to heights it should be at because I rlly can’t explain how brilliant you and your writing are so thank you thank you for all the work you put into it. I’m SO EXCITED for the next chapter 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and one day I’m gonna go into the absolute insane perfection that is the sex scene in chapter 8 bc the realism, build up, and EMOTIONS as well as pure sexyism (almost put sexism there which wasn’t quite right 😂) is just one of the best and sauciest things I’ve ever read.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Also trying to add a cute lil milex hug gif to this is impossible bc they’re all far too sexually charged or emotionally unstable 😂

hiii lovely!! 💝 oh my goddddddd i swear your asks just leave me a blushing, giddy mess every single time 😭😭

i'm so glad to hear that my updates always seem to manage to coincide with a time where they're able to provide you with a little bit of comfort and escapism 🥺

honestly i've always just found other people fascinating, and have found myself imagining what the world might be like through their eyes for as long as i can remember! it's been so much fun to get to really delve deep into that in this fic, so i really love that you notice and appreciate that side of it 🥰🥰 aghhhhhh. it truly just means so much to hear that you feel i capture something real about alex and miles and their dynamic in this fic, thank you 🥺

also STOP your flailing about the smut scene is too sweet 😭 i am SO glad you felt all the build up and emotions worked, and honestly any time you feel like going into it, please don't hold back - i am more than happy to hear your thoughts! it was hands down one of my favourite bits of the whole fic to write, actually 🥰

once again your utterly lovely words have lifted my spirits so much, thank you for your kindness and generosity in taking the time to share your experience of reading four walls with me 💖 you're an absolute gem and i cannot WAIT for your to read chapter nine! (which will be posted tomorrow... 😉)

(god you were not wrong about the milex hug gifs, were you?! aghhh they're both so ridiculous 😭😭 anyway here, have them being their silly, playful selves having the best time together! sending you all the best vibes for your weekend 💜🌟)

[fightingthetides]

Continued from: [x] @unladielike

Mizumachi was an early riser, or a ‘morning person’ as many people would term it. He was always so full of energy, no doubt from the way he was an athlete who played high-energy sports. He needed something to burn off that excess energy that he had!

Always a social butterfly, he enjoyed being around people, especially those that he regarded as a friend (the bar isn’t that high for a guy like him), so he was excited to recognize Vivian in the morning. He gave her a big hug, much to her surprise. She didn’t get mad at him, and she didn’t push him away, so that’s a plus! This only means she’ll accept hugs in the future as well! That’s great!

“Hah? Can you sleep while standing?”

Horses can do that, but Vivian is no horse. He thinks about it for a moment, and a lightbulb goes off. With a grin, he crouches slightly, hooks an arm behind her knees and SCOOPS her up!

“Bet it’d be easier to sleep if you were carried. Mhaa~ Now you’re really at risk, haha!”

He’s being a silly jock, feel free to smack him. He might learn his lesson then. No promises.

[blindmagdalena]

Hiiii it's me again!

I just wrapped up a full-on binge of your series with Homelander and Layla, and honestly, I've got to get a few things off my chest about these two. I'll try to keep this short, but there's a lot to unpack, and if you're not up for the essay I'm about to write here, feel free to skip it. Starting with Layla's profession — genius. It just clicks, right? With a job like hers, it's totally believable that she'd cross paths with a guy like Homelander. That guy's desperate for any scrap of affection he can get, doesn't really matter if it's genuine or not. And in your story, it feels like we get a dash of both. It's refreshing because usually, OCs just snap their fingers and suddenly, Homelander's all about them, which feels a tad forced.

But Layla? She's different. Their first serious meet-up perfectly demonstrates her patience. And her smarts? She's ten steps ahead, seeing right through Homelander's act — you know the one where he pretends he's too cool for the room. Her ability to play him like a fiddle from the get-go, just by stroking his ego, is just so spot on. It's not just her cunning that stands out, though. Layla knows exactly when to use emotional leverage, she's insightful about Homelander's neediness, hence the booked meeting. She's not your typical 'strong woman' character — thank goodness we're not talking about those overdone, one-dimensional types that come off as watered-down male heroes. Love that she's profoundly intelligent, perceptive, and strategic in her emotional connections. She's an exemplary character not wedged into the role of being “strong” but one who utilizes her understanding and empathy as powerful tools.

I'm sold on her character (if you can't tell.) And I'm really going all out here because as I revisit the first chapters to talk about this, I keep finding new reasons to appreciate her more. I want to dive deeper into my thoughts, but I'm probably just rambling now, so I'll cut myself off. You've single handedly got me working on my personal oc again lmfao. Just a last note, it's cool to see an original character who isn't some superpowered being for a change. It adds layers to the world you've built that I'm just here for. I'm gonna read a few other fics you have linked about your ocs — I came for the x reader fics and stayed for the ocs LOL.

— 💌

you genuinely took my breath away with this! my heart is so full and warm, i could cry. i can't tell you how many times i reread this this morning! i'm very tender-hearted when it comes to my original characters, and i was quite nervous starting an oc fic, but this makes me SO happy that i did!

please don't ever apologize for writing essays like this, i honestly want to print this out and hang it on my wall. thank you SO MUCH for not only reading my fic but taking the time to send me such an incredibly thoughtful message about my girl Layla. it really does mean the world to me!!! and i really can't wait to get back to writing Eat Your Ego.

i'm really happy that she's coming across so well! i knew that i would have to be careful in how i wrote her for the fact that she IS human, and there's a very delicate balance to be had in interacting with Homelander. there's a tension there that yeah, one wrong move and she really and truly has no defense against him aside from her wits, so i needed her empathy and intellect to be sort of a super power of their own.

i was worried she would come across as omniscient or meta, so i tried to lean into the fact that Homelander's ego and power trips really do just have him behaving like the type of men she would regularly encounter in her line of work.

aaahhh, gosh, even responding to this i reread it a whole bunch. thank you so much, darling. i'm going to treasure this message! 🖤

[mobius-m-mobius]

Hello there!

I have to ask cause it's everywhere and apparently my husband and I didn't see it!

Aziraphale & Crowley were obvious to us as a couple but we didn't see this with Loki & Mobius (please people don't be mad 🙃). I saw a great love and a bond that will last forever but not the way we witnessed in Good Omens. To me it was more of a family thing. Like Mobius has two sons. Could be the representation of Thor and Loki. I don't know. I was so surprised when I saw all this on Tumblr. I want to rewatch the show now to see if I really missed all the signs.

Hi there! 😊 Thank you for the ask and please don't worry for wondering, part of the joy in a watching experience is being able to see something in a completely new light. I hope you've come to the right place as Lokius and Aziraphale/Crowley are the only romantic pairings that have stood out to me in ages but now for fairly different reasons so I'll do my best to explain why in my own personal view Lokius is a slow burn for the ages above and beyond all other love stories to me and I'd absolutely recommend rewatching Loki, especially season 2, with the mindset that the tropes of every good romance are present in *every* interaction Loki and Mobius have.

(adding a read more here as I feel this is about to get almost horrifically long if you'd like to know even some of the signs lol)

Right from the start we see Mobius recounting being a fan of Loki's most mischievous acts on the timeline, pushing the question of just why he's focused on ruling and nothing else, really getting under his skin in a way no one ever has before?? And in that there's something even better and deeper than love at first sight; intrigue. Loki's furious at being held by the TVA but can't help being drawn back to what an enigma Mobius is to brush off his insults and offer salvation in the face of knowing every good or bad thing Loki's ever done and believing in him anyway.

Cue the tentative partnership and rapport they both get far too comfortable in which you see when Mobius indulges in letting Loki ruin the mission at the renaissance fair and later tries to backtrack in reassuring Ravonna he's got things under control, then again when Loki realizes Mobius has been reading him too well and defaults to leaning in to "fix" his perfectly tied tie, a callback to when Mobius pointed out Loki has a tendency to try and seduce people in more powerful positions who could help him. You actually see Mobius lean in for a moment before realizing himself and pulling back, but contrary to everyone else Loki's tried this with he doesn't give in or get angry, he laughs and once again points out what Loki's up to, trying to find a way to get to the Timekeepers.

That entire sequence is the tipping point for me when they officially enter romantic territory, as Loki's visibly thrown and surprised by the way Mobius reacts and scrambles after him, finally taking things seriously enough to do real work and is rewarded not only with trust he's never been given so freely before but a now mutual fascination you see during their conversation in the cafeteria (a highlight of the series for me ) when Loki can't help but try and learn more about the person who knows him so well already by asking genuinely about Mobius and his jet ski magazine. Blew me away because any previous version of Loki would've never taken the time or interest in something so ridiculous (in his eyes), but this Loki shyly takes in the way Mobius beams and opens up, because how could you not fall a little when such a simple pleasure makes someone happy?

Then when they research Roxxcart they flirt again, Mobius praising Loki and teasing he might take his job before what we refer to as the Roxxcart grocery store divorce and for good reason 😂 When Loki's captured back to the TVA, Mobius isn't just hurt, he's clearly jealous and *extremely* so because he thought *they* had been building something only to now think Loki played him all along and during Loki's next interrogation Mobius loses his temper in a way he never has before, making scathing comments about Loki stabbing him in the back and siding with his "girlfriend" which should kind of speak for itself there 😅 Then their mutual assurance of trust before Mobius is pruned and the hug in the void being initiated by Loki is huge as well when this is the first time he's shared EVER that with someone and you see the crushing despair when Mobius later no longer remembers.

Getting into s2, it's easier for me to sum up with the base of their s1 relationship laid out since there's no need to get into as much detail when the entire thing is pure romance start to finish.

Loki and Mobius frantically desperate to find each other when in reality they had been separated for maybe an hour? Mobius ignoring all other issues at hand and his superiors to gently hold Loki by the waist and pull him close, constantly grounding by touching his back, arms, anywhere to provide extra comfort and Loki giving him that control, Mobius spending the entire season actively trying to enjoy being on the field without limits for a change and organizing dates between the two of them all season when his focus used to primarily be on the work. He repeatedly asks Loki to go for a drink, suggests visiting the theatre, going on a hot air balloon ride, etc, while Loki stops to indulge in popcorn and pies just because small joys are important to Mobius. When Loki visits Mobius' original timeline self they spend the ENTIRE ep flirting with each other, and honestly Don having two kids is just as it seems since there were no official indications otherwise; he may share genes with Mobius but is a different person with a different life. Don can't stop bringing up how single he is, teases Loki about following him home, which Loki absolutely did but only after fixing his hair and coat to try and look as good as possible before seeing him (because again, he looks like Mobius) and getting so flustered stammering over his words he may as well have been in a 90s Hugh Grant rom com 😂😂

Don't even get me started on the finale, which has every character except Loki and Mobius basically living their ideal life while the two of them are clearly left unfulfilled and wanting, missing each other to the point Mobius leaves the TVA (which exists out of time) for a timeline that Loki can see as a tear rolls down Loki's face in the final scene because of it.

Do I think that had their characters been tied to anyone but the Disney/Marvel corporations they, like Aziraphale and Crowley, would've shared a kiss as well? Absolutely yes, but that isn't a necessity for me personally and in all honesty despite Aziraphale and Crowley having kissed I actually felt season 2 of Good Omens was a massive backtrack for their relationship compared to the quality of time they spent together in season 1 which I much preferred. Again, that's personal preference and everyone sees and interprets elements of romance differently which is completely fine and I hope this wild ramble at least gave some perspective on how I and many others view Lokius 😂💖 Happy watching, no matter how you end up viewing them, and thank you again for the ask!

[commsroom]

Heyy have you ever seen @drezzdon on Instagram? All I think about when I see their stuff is Hera getting back to earth and (accidentally or on purpose) truly Being Released into the internet and subsequently into every computer ever and instead of becoming like a God she's all powerful and omniscient but constantly bombarded by unholy amounts of information which drives her into some kind of Eldritch madness constantly witnessing everything while still trying to hold onto herself and process all of her grief idk if I'm making sense. Opposite of fix it fic btw I'm making everything worse.

oh, cool! i've seen some of those videos around, and i like them, so i'm glad you told me the source. it kind of reminds me of this comic about the perception of angels + seeing everything at once. i think too much information = lack of clarity works well in the context of wolf 359's treatment of 'the big picture' as an antagonistic and dehumanizing force, and i also think it's a good visual metaphor for overstimulation. we're aware that hera is always everywhere at once, but also that she's more some places at any given time than others, and i think the way the show presents that is very interesting, i.e. that the only time we actually meaningfully experience her being in multiple places at once is when she's having a breakdown.

anyway. i think being on the internet will be really bad for hera, but like, in the way that being very online and isolated is bad for anyone, amplified by how quickly she can interact with it and the fact she literally cannot log off and touch grass. but i want her to. it's going to be hard, and it'll probably get worse before it gets better, but i want good and comfortable things for her. hera narrowing + clarifying her perspective, being able to be truly (physically) present in her own life, especially as a rejection of her 'intended' purpose, is very dear to me.

[pffbts]

Well, it's one of those midnight where I stay awake, blinding my eyes with some contents of the phone that content me, comfort me. And I happened to stumble across your works, no scratch that, they aren't mere works anymore. Im not here to disturb you or distract you. I'm well aware of the goodbye that you bid to us. But...I don't know, I feel so connected with your words? Connected with the way you wrote? I know I'm blabbering, but I don't know, something in me said that I should definitely write this for you. I'm just thankful for whatever you left here for us, im thankful that I found you, your blog. Something about your whole blog is delicate, comforting, welcoming. And I happened to need that to fill my heart with some sort of reassurance even though I have this accompanied bittersweet feeling. I'm just truly, truly, grateful for the miracles you wrote. I was honestly crying, it made me feel better. I don't know how to evince this huge reverence I suddenly got over you.

But I'm just, thankful. So,so, thankful.

(this is a long reply, i'm extremely sorry)

“I don’t know how to evince this huge reverence I suddenly got over you.”

at 8 in the morning when you wake up, after the glaring indian sun hits your face and you read such words woven together into such a string of emotions, to be fair, what did i even expect to feel other than bittersweet happiness and a bit flabbergasted?

i wish there were words more meaningful than the boring ‘thank you(s)' because truly, you’ve left me speechless. all i can say is that my imperfect heart receives your praises and thoughts with all the warmth in the world and i hope even the lil bit of that warmth traverses through all the time zones that divide us against our wishes and gives you strength to carry on with your life, @tannedami.

regardless of my absence, i still want my blog to be one of the many corners for a breath of relief for all of you. this was once my escape, i'm grateful that the place i escaped to, a home i built amidst all my griefs became a shade under which you all take a breather from the glaring sun that represents each and every one of your lives.

it was the sole reason i left my blog untouched. i deleted not a single one of my letters or fics. i kept them all, even the unfinished and imperfect ones. my only hope was that in my farewell in every sense, a piece of me will always stay on the internet to give you all solace. in a world that flows parallel to yours, mine and all of the others, i hope my words move close to your home just to feel the air that surrounds you. in that world, my words carry all your griefs and your shortcomings like wearing rings that have all of your's names engraved on the insides.

[ID: “Even without knowing each other’s stories, we create moments of love that bridge the gap.”]

thank you for making me remembered as someone whom you pass by once in a while when you’re walking back home and that will always be enough.

this ask of yours reminded me a lot of some of those memorable asks from the past in this blog. an anon once wanted to write down the 2-part dad!hobi fic i wrote once as requested by them (tbh i found it a bit silly but at the same time quite endearing), another once sent me a dm about how they have screenshotted a letter they requested once during my talk to bangtan requests and now or then they would go back and read it for comfort. i also remember someone a year or two ago said how i almost saved their life during a low moment of their life and i still cannot for the life of me comprehend all these affections that i once and still now get from readers like you who take strolls through my little humble blog. you all should know that as much as you guys tell me how much i comfort you, these words from you all give me the strength to push the stubborn boulders that stand in my wretched life's road and keep walking on. life will keep happening and i will fight on as much as i can. i might always still wish i didn’t stay to see the new morning of the next day, but i want to keep myself going till there’s nothing left of me.

and, you and everyone must do the same. you have to. after all, there must be a reason why we were born into this damned world, right? even in passing, we must live a little in the minds of humans around us (and if you are lucky enough to have a pet, your existence is a miracle to them. trust me.)

i don’t know much about the reverence you talk about, Ami, perhaps it’s simply your emotions that has been catalyzed by my works. but really, i don’t feel myself to be deserving of any of it (this is my self-conscious, self-loathing persona talking, don’t mind her). i wish you a healthy life above anything. happiness will come and go but life will keep going on in various different shapes. we simply have to fit in. so be well because you will need a lot of strength for that, Ami.

sending all my love.

―K