#sorry rant over i just studied the model a lot lol

[coffee-bat]

some cortex model studies + doodles bc i wanna draw him better

[wisteria-lodge]

a bird secondary with a *very* unhealthy badger model

i’m pretty sure i’m using both Bird and Badger secondary tools - i just cannot for the life of me figure out which one’s my actual secondary, and which is the model. it doesn’t help that both of them are at least slightly charred. when i was younger, i was surely a Bird secondary, no doubt.

One of the reasons I ask people for childhood stories is I fundamentally don’t believe that sortings ever change. (Maybe that’s the Lion in me talking.) You can build beautiful models that you adore living in, but important aspects of yourself don’t just... fall away. They change, and grow, and level up. 

i’ve always loved collecting knowledge, i store trivia better than many a fandom wiki, i’ve studied things just because they interested me, i’ve once memorised a big portion of the pokedex just for fun… you get the idea.

I’m going with Bird secondary as a hypothesis, but this doesn’t necessarily say bird secondary to me. Bird of some kind, sure. But it could still be a model. 

when academia kicked my butt (hello, undiagnosed adhd), and i realised my natural talents and good memory won’t help me, i think i burnt my Bird. it really hit me very hard.

That can happen. And it’s brutal. But when a secondary burns from over-use, it’s not gone it’s just... tired. 

i’ve started appreciating kindness and hard work, and i wanted to be a person who - wasn’t necessarily the smartest in the room (because i felt that this ship has already sailed.)

There’s a fun word for someone who thinks they’re the smartest person in the room. And that word is “asshole.” :) Seriously, ‘being the smartest person in the room’ isn’t a real thing, and definitely not something to aspire to.

didn’t help that i’ve also acquired a nemesis who was just as smart as me, but an asshole, lmaoo. 

Like I was saying...

But I thought perhaps I could be the kind one. the patient one. the steady one. of course, that didn’t work for me with my adhd at all, lol. i am physically and mentally unable to reach that ideal of stable, patient, consistent, reliable. and it hit my self esteem real hard again. 

There is some sort of POWERFUL Badger secondary influence in your life, making you believe that you need to be that way too. And you don’t. That’s the entire premise of this system. That there are many ways to solve problems, all equally effective and valid. 

after all, not everyone can be smart, and that’s alright - but everyone can be a hard worker, right? it’s not a matter of any innate abilities.

You think the chip that allows you to settle down and focus on doing a non-preferred task in increments over long periods of time is not an innate ability? This is why I hate standardized tests. They test your ability to take a test much more than they test the material. Not everyone *can* sit at a desk in a silent, windowless room and do math problems for four hours. And why on earth should that be that a desirable, rewarded ability? The end goal is not to graduate and start working in a factory like its 1905. 

my bachelor degree’s taken me a year longer than it should have, because i’ve started just… not doing my work. didn’t come to class, didn’t hand in my homework, didn’t contact my professors. did everything at the very last minute, if at all. and i didn’t know why.

It’s because you struggle with executive dysfunction. Because you’re neurodivergent.

i’ve felt terrible about it, because i wanted to be a good student, you know? i wanted to feel like i earned that degree. i passed, because i’m bright and i can extrapolate based on the knowledge i already have, and i have a lot of knowledge in this wonky brain of mine - but it doesn’t feel like i… deserved that pass. 

for instance, we had this class - literature masterpieces of XX century. we were supposed to read one book each week. obviously i didn’t manage, bc despite reading as if my life depended on it in my early years, i lost that ability sometime during my high school years (when depression hit). so the night before, i’ve sat down, read the wikipedia article on every book and every author on the list, read goodreads’ reviews, sparknotes, whatever i could find. sometimes even fragments of the original text. and i passed that (oral) exam, even with this extremely strict professor. and i felt horrible about it, because i didn’t feel i deserved to pass that. i didn’t read those books! i’ve lied to you! i’ve cheated! 

Listen. I’m a teacher, and I am telling you, you deserved that degree. You got the info, you thought about it, you understood. You didn’t trick your strict professor. Your professor did a good job, and allowed you to think and learn and demonstrate your knowledge in a way that worked for you. (Which is what they’re supposed to do.) I love students with ADHD, their brains are fast and non-linear, and yes they skim the reading, but they make connections and take things to new levels and process things in such cool way, and it just makes me feel alive you know? 

I actually have more trouble with the opposite type, the student who obviously did the reading, but didn’t play with it or connect it to anything else they know, so it just kind of sits in their head like a lump, not doing them any good. But they are really good test-takers.

then again - doing things the right way was (and still is) sometimes just simply unaccesible to me.

There is no right way to do things. The right way to do thing is whatever makes you happy and gets the job done. But that’s a hard one to internalize. I still have trouble truly internalizing that one. But I’m getting better. 

the badger secondary, therefore, is not anything that’s actually… useful to me, most of the time, lol. 

You are crushing yourself under the weight of a Badger secondary model.

unless it’s the ~vibes~ of the badger that make professors like me, most of the time - and because of that liking, they’d often turn a blind eye to just how badly i’d fuck up.

I bet your professors like you because you’re an interested, interesting student who brightens up their day. And if they’re turning a blind eye, it’s because they know that people with ADHD struggle with deadlines sometime. And that’s /fine/

i often seem trustworthy and reliable in the beginning, before my executive dysfunction trips me up, and makes me beat myself up for not actually being that.

My thoughts on secondaries and executive dysfunction. 

it’s the bird that helps me still achieve anything these days - the knowledge i still have, and the things i pick up along the way, from friends or twitter or online articles. i can bullshit my way through many things, because i know quite a bit about a wide range of topics.

It is so easy to pick up on true bullshit as a teacher. We *know* when you don’t know what you’re talking about. When you put together interesting statements and arguments on the fly - when you pull something out of your ass - it’s still coming from you. That’s just an alternate way of thinking. Also, everything you have written is SO BIRD.

but actually applying myself - which i feel is both necessary to succeed 

It’s not.

and the right way to do things

There’s no such thing.

 - is just… out of my reach. sorry for the rant, but i’m just so super confused, lmao. if you have any thoughts on this mess, i’d be very grateful. apologies for any mistakes, too - english is not my first language.

English isn’t your first language??? Your English is amazing. You’re a bird secondary, and a pretty brilliant one by the sound of it. And you are torturing yourself because you aren’t living up to an entirely arbitrary Badger secondary ideal.

[lesbian-deadpool]

The Assistant

Part Two Of Two: And There Was Funny Business

Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Platonic!Tony Stark x Reader

Words: 3,886

Warnings: I don’t think there is anything. It is mostly dialogue tho.

Request: For the @ryostephi who donated to the Australian Bushfires. (I’m sorry the tag doesn't work)

Summary: When was retirement again?

A/N: I am shocked at how much I got wrong in the first part, after re-watching Iron Man 2 as I wrote this part, and for that, I am so sorry lol. So... I know there’s still a lot of Tony in this... and I have no excuse, other than it’s based in Iron Man 2, and there's not much “Natalie” plot for me to go off of, and have it be all that good (in my opinion). So, I hope you don’t mind lol.

(Not my GIF)

***

“Explain!” Tony practically ordered you, his voice close to a screech, more than anything else.

“I’m an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” you told him blankly.

“Yes, I see that-!”

“How?” Natasha started, “I- I mean you can't be an Agent, I would have seen you.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is a big place, Natasha.”

“You always knew who I was.” She leaned back in her seat, beside Fury, regarding you.

You scoffed, shaking your head. “Of course I did.”

“Agent Y/L/N here, has been away for business for a short amount of time now,” Fury informed them, gesturing a hand to you.

“No offence, Nick. But I don’t think eight months, is a short amount of time,” you replied, causing the man to scoff softly at you, his lips quirking in a small smile.

“So, that’s where you’ve been, this whole time?”

You tuned to Tony. “Yeah, that’s why slept so much when I got back.”

“Anyway,” Fury began, drawing everyone’s attention back to him, as he spoke to Tony, “You’ve been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you’re giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit-”

“Wait. Hold, up,” You paused him, raising a hand, “Rhodey took a suit?”

“He sure as hell did.” Fury said. “Now, if I didn’t know better-”

“You don’t know better. I didn’t give it to him. He took it.”

“Oh, well that's better,” you said offhandedly, as you rested your chin in your hand, watching the conversation go down.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s right.” he pointed at you. “He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walks in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? Is that possible?” He turned to Natasha.

“Well, according to Mr Starks database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorised usage.”

“Whoa, those were some big words...”

Tony snorted softly at both your words and hers. While Natasha threw you a light glare.

“What do you want from me?”

And that was the hidden queue you were looking for. Knowing what was coming next. You sat up straight in your seat, ready to make the move.

“What do we want from you?” And there Natasha goes, sliding out of her seat. You followed in her lead. Pulling yourself up by the table, and spinning yourself around to sit next to Fury. “Uh-uh. What do you want from me?” He continued, repeatedly pointing to the man, as you wore a shit-eating grin by his side, the scene almost painting out like you were watching your sibling getting chewed out by your parent. “You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the centre of my universe.”

“But I am, right?” He raised a lone finger to you, without even looking, to silence you, as you only smiled harder.

“I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with.” You rolled your eyes as your boss continued rant, wanting for this to be over. When your eyes spotted Natasha coming back.

Fury snapped his fingers, and told Natasha to, “Hit him.”

Tony let out a startled sound, moving back in pain. “Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?” He asked as Natasha checked his neck over, sitting down beside him, and watching the poisoned veins recede, “Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds?”

Turning to you and Fury, he continued to ask, “What she just do to me?”

“What did we just do for you,” Fury corrected him.

“Hey, that cleared up the Matrix puzzle, really well.” You smiled.

“That’s lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We’re trying to get you back to work,” The man by your side explained, “You should thank Agent Y/L/N over here, she was the one who requested it, and made our Science Department's lives a living hell, until we got it.”

“Wait. You had something to do with this?” Tony asked, turning to you, notes of touch in his voice, showing you he had just realised how much you truly cared for him.

“Of course I did,” you scoffed, “You really think I was gonna let you die?”

You watched as billionaire’s lips twitched in a smile, before he returned to his stoic, guarded nature.

“Give me a couple boxes of that. I’ll be right as rain.”

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms.”

“Yeah, what the thesaurus said, over there,” you agreed, gesturing to the red-head. Who in turn kicked you “lightly” in the shin. Making you hiss out a small, “Ow.”

Not paying you mind, Fury continued, studying the other man's neck, “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be an easy fix.”

“It never is with us,” you said.

“Trust me, I know. I’m good at this stuff.” You could see behind Tony’s eyes just how helpless he was feeling. “I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

“Am I the only one here who didn’t understand a word of that?” you asked the table, “No? Am I being ignored? That’s nice.”

You weren’t being ignored, however. If the smirk, that was quickly wiped away, that Natasha wore was any indication.

“Well, I’m here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.”

“Well... on that note.” You spoke, “I think it’s time I took my leave.”

“I’m still mad at you,” Tony told you childishly.

Well... two could play at that game.

“Yeah, well at least Rhodey and Pepper aren’t mad at me,” you fired back, as you got up from your seat. Practically hearing the man's jaw drop behind you.

***

“Antony Stark!” you yelled, as you strolled through the open door to Pepper’s office.

“What did I do now?”

“What do you mean, ‘what did you do now’?” you seethed at him, coming closer.

“Anything else, boss?” Happy asked.

“I’m good, Hap.”

“No, I’ll be just... another minute,” Tony and Pepper said at the same time.

“Well, that was awkward,” you said.

“I lost all three of the kids in the divorce,” Tony laughed at his own joke. “Nothing?” he asked quietly, glancing over his shoulder at you and The Head Of Security. “No.”

Tony cleared his throat.

Oh, don’t do it.

“Are you blending in well here, Natalie? Here at Stark Enterprises?”

You were so gonna throttle him.

“Your name is Natalie, isn’t it.”

Murder.

That’s what shone in your eyes, as your nostrils flared, just as it did Natasha’s.

“I thought you two didn’t get along,” the billionaire gestured between the two.

He better shut his mouth.

“No. That’s not so,” Pepper told him.

“It’s just me you don’t care for.” Pepper said nothing in reply. “No? Nothing?”

“Actually, while you’re here, maybe you and Natalie could discuss the matter of the personal belongings.”

“Absolutely,” Natasha said.

“Which loosely translates to, ‘get your shit out of my office’,” you informed the man.

“Yes, I got that. Thank you, Y/N.” You nodded your head once at him, with a fake smile plastered upon your face. You were so gonna kick his ass.

Tony watched as Pepper walked away. The blonde giving you a short nod as she passed you, and exited the office with Happy.

“I’m surprised you could keep your mouth shut,” Natasha said, as soon as the coast was clear. Making Tony spin around in the chair once again.

“Boy, you’re good. You are mind-blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things... you’re a triple imposter.” Tony turned to you. “Can you do that?”

“Of course I can, I'm a professional.”

“How did you even get into this business?”

“Later,” you told him.

“I’ve never seen anything like you,” he continued, turning back to Natasha, “Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin?”

“Fallaces sunt rerum species,” Natasha responds immediately, gathering up documents, and beginning to take her leave.

“It turns out she can.” You shrugged.

“Which means? Wait. What? What did you just say?”

“It means you can drive yourself home or I can have you, and Miss Y/L/N, collected.”

“Wait what did I do?” You asked insulted, “Also, that’s not what she said.”

Natasha chose not to answer you. Instead, choosing to say, “Control him.”

“You think I can?” You asked the shorter woman, spinning to watch her walk away as you did.

“Hey!” Tony whined behind you. “You’re good!” he called to the red-head, as she slammed the door.

“Well...” You looked at Tony. “That was a shit-show. What the hell are you doing?” you asked, as he fiddled with one of Pepper’s ornaments. “What? Not talking to me?” Sighing he stood up, taking a bite out of a strawberry, before dumping the rest into the trash. “That’s a waste. And, yeah, no it's fine. I didn’t want any, anyway.”

You sighed, throwing your head back in exasperation, as you watched the man looking at the scale-model up against the wall. Who was currently peering through his hand, as if it was some sort of a telescope.

It really was like having a child dealing with him, sometimes... most times.

“Help me with this.”

“What?”

***

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THIS PLACE?!” you roared, taking in all of the destruction around.

Yep. You were never having kids.

“I made a new element!” Tony told you proudly.

“You. Made. A new. Element.”

“Yes? Why is that so hard to understand?”

“I-... How?!”

“It’s all... science stuff. You really want me to tell you?” Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

“No. Not really.”

You took another look around the place, slowly inhaling and exhaling, as you nodded your head. “Well. Well done.”

“Thanks. It worked,” Tony said, showing you his chest.

“Good, I’m glad.” You smiled. “Now... why are you assembling a suit?”

“Vanko’s still alive.”

You stared blankly at Tony for a moment. Watching him. Making sure that he wasn’t bullshitting you. When you deducted, that he was in fact, telling the truth, you asked, “He’s what?”

***

The absolute deafening cheering going on around you did nothing to drown out the sound of your heartbeat pounding away in your ears, as you were bent over your encased legs, hands on your knees, hoping that you could manage to pant away your incoming panic attack.

You had to.

You had a job to do right now.

Vaguely you registered Tony say, “We got trouble” inside of your metal helmet.

“Tony, there are civilians present,” Rhodey said, as you followed Tony on unsteady legs, “I’m here on orders. Let’s not do this right now.”

“God,” you breathed, “I hated every second of that.”

You mirrored the man you thought of as your brother, on Rhodey’s other side. Waving to the crowd, as Tony told you too.

“All these people are in danger. We gotta get them out of here,” Tony said, “You gotta trust me for the next five minutes.”

“Yeah, I tried that. I got tossed around your house, remember?”

“Listen, I think he’s working with Vanko.”

“Of course the sonofabitch is,” you growled, glaring at the man through the mask of your borrowed suit.

“Vanko’s alive?” Rhodey asked, slightly sceptical. Which he had a right too. God, knows how you didn’t want to belive Tony. But you knew he believed Tony, he would never lie about this.

As Tony squared up to Hammer, asking him about Venko. You scanned the crowd, looking for two people in particular.

“Found Natasha and Pepper,” you notified him.

“Who’s Natasha?” Rhodey asked. You we’re about to answer him, before he continued, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

“What’s up-? Holy shit!”

You jumped back in alarm, at the giant mini-gun attached to Rhodey’s back, moved to aim at Tony.

“Is that you?” Tony asked.

“No. That- I’m not doing that. I’m not doing that,” he stuttered, you could hear the panic rising in his voice, “I can’t move. I’m locked up. I’m locked up!”

"Motherfucker!" you hollered, stumbling back, as the military-themed drones pointed their arms towards Tony, too. Getting ready to fire.

"Get out of her. Go! This whole system's been compromised," Rhodey ordered.

"Y/N, with me," Tony said, "Let's take this outside."

"Oh, God, that means I have to fly again."

And with that, he blasted off, with you hot on his trail. As the drones and Rhodey's compromised suit started to rain fire on Tony, and consequently, you... and the glass ceiling. I think Vanko might have taken that phrase a little too seriously.

"Uh-Oh." You wished you hadn't looked down now. "Tony, incoming."

"Jarvis, break-in. I need to own him."

"Weird way to word it there, buddy," you quipped, "Are we really fucking doing this?"

"Yep. We're really fucking doing this."

***

"Tony?" You asked as you landed next to the crashed men, "How good did you say the filtration in the suit was?"

"It's pristine. Why?"

"Because I just pissed myself."

Just then Tony and Rhodey -Or rather, Rhodey's suit- began fighting.

"Oh, shit, Tony! How do you work this hunk of metal?!"

"Just go with your instinct's!"

"Oh, yeah. That helps!" you yelled, looking at your palms, where the repulsers lay. "Come on, you piece of shit! WORK!"

Well, you got it to work. However, the bright light shot out and hit you square in your mask. But, hey! You still got it two work! Silver-lining people!

"Ow," you uttered as you fell, landing on your back in a daze.

To say you were useless with these things, was an understatement.

You finally regained yourself, a few long seconds later. And had seen that Tony had managed to kick Rhodey's ass, as you got up on wobbly legs.

"Hey, guys? Can we not tell Natasha what just happened?"

"Not tell me what?"

You jumped at the sudden sound of her voice. Since when did she have access to talk through the suit?

"Nothing!" you spoke hastily.

Natasha hummed, not believing you, moving on to her next point, "Reboot complete. You got your best friend back."

"Thank you very much, Agent Romanoff."

"Well done with the new chest piece. I am reading significantly higher output and all your vitals look promising."

"Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you."

"This moment better last long," you mumbled.

"What do you mean you're not dying?" Pepper? When did she get here? "Did you say you're dying."

Oh, God. This is awkward. It's so awkward.

"Is that you? No, I'm not. Not anymore."

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I was going to tell you. I didn't want to alarm you."

"You were going to tell me? You really were dying?"

You were glad the suit hid the cringe on your face, as you were trapped here, to bare witness to this, a confession. Your metal hand coming up to scratch, uselessly, at your metal helmet, out of awkward discomfort.

"You didn't let me-"

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Pepper interrupted.

"I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you."

"Yeah, because omelettes make death confessions, so much better," you quipped, only to have it fall on deaf ears.

"Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon."

"Yeah, because they're gonna fight on their honeymoon..." You took all of a second to think about it, before changing your statement. "You know what, I don't doubt that."

"You've got incoming guys," Natasha continued. "Looks like the fight's coming to you."

"Awesome," you said sarcastically.

"Try to hit them and not yourself this time," Tony told you.

After this was done... he's a dead man.

"Pepper?"

Oh no, not this again.

"Are you okay now?"

"I'm fine. Don't be mad. I will formally apologize-"

"I am mad!" she yelled, and you sighed, getting into a fighting stance.

"-When I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.

"Fine."

"We could have been in Venice."

"And I could have been asleep."

"What is it with you and sleep?" Natasha asked.

"It's sleep!"

***

“She fights like a badass,” Happy breathed, inside you helmets. While you watched as drones landed all around you.

“I know, I’ve seen her.”

“Stalking much?” You could hear the smirk in her voice.

“You say that like you didn’t look me up when you found out I was an Agent.”

“You’re an Agent?!” Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper yelled at the same time.

“Old news guys, however makeshift terminators over here? New news.”

And then the fighting started.

Just like you would be on the field, splatters of battle coted you. But rather than blood, this time it was oil that painted your suit, as you tore, shot, and blew up drones.

Okay. So the suit wasn't all bad.

Tony told you and Rhodes to 'get down'. You watched as bright neon red lasers, chopped through the drones -and trees-, like a hot knife through butter.

"Can you show me how to do that?" you asked.

***

"Heads up. You got one more drone incoming," Natasha said. "This one looks different."

"What?" you asked, "Like it's got a makeover?"

"No," she said clearly, "Like the repulser signature is significantly higher."

"So, it's a boss drone then?"

Any reply Natasha had for you were cut off, thanks to the giant-sized Iron Man suit landing in front of you.

Oh, could this get any worse?

Yes. Yes, it could.

The real-life, yet no way friendly, Iron-Giant's face retracted back. Revealing, Ivan Vanko.

"God, that's not a good makeover."

"I swear to God, Y/N, I will disable your microphone."

"Hey, you two. Stop flirting," Rhodey said.

"Good to be back," Vanko said. Unknown to what you were saying, and, thankfully, to how your cheeks tinted red at Rhodey's words.

"Oh, this ain't gonna be good."

"Yeah, you're telling me," you agreed. "Ah! Whippy-things!" You moved back, startled, at Vankos sudden weapons.

"I got something special for this guy." Rhodey strutted up towards him. "I'm gonna bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife."

"The what now, please?"

"With the what?" You and Tony asked at the same time.

You waited in anticipation, watching as the shoulder of Rhodey's suit opened, and counted down. Blasting off a tiny missile right at Vanko. Which hit him. Then dropped to the ground, and fizzled out.

"Hammer tech?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah."

You flew up into the sky, shooting Vanko from above, as the other two fought on the ground. It was gonna take a lot to bring this sonofabitch down. Tony flew up to join you but didn't get far, as two bright blue whips latched themselves onto both you and Tony. Smashing Tony into a rock. And flinging you into a corner of the closed-off park. The last thing you heard before blacking out, was their voices shouting your name.

***

You awoke as you were flying through the air.

No, wait.

You weren't flying.

You were heaved over Rhoedy's shoulder, as he flew.

"What the hell's going on?"

"Hey, glad to see you're awake." Rhodey's smile could be heard in his voice. "The drones are set to self destruct."

"Did we beat him?"

"Yeah, we did," he said, as explosions were heard and seen, all across your view.

"Oh, my God! I can't take this anymore."

Great. Just when you had thought you had finally gained a minute of peace.

"You can't-?"

God, was this just their relationship?

"I can't take this."

"-Look at me."

Yep.

"My body, literally, cannot handle the stress." You peered up at Rhodey, from your seat on the floor, the man only shrugging at your silent question of, 'what the fuck?'. You both turning back to watch the two lovebirds have their spat. "I never know if you're gonna kill yourself or wreck the whole company."

“I think I did okay!” Tony defended himself when there was a sudden explosion far in the background.

“Dumbass,” you mumbled, only the man sitting beside you able to hear what you said. Him chuckling lightly at your words.

"I quit. I'm resigning," Pepper panted, "That's it."

"What did you just say? You're done?"

Did they really have to do this shit in front of you?

Did they really have to be so blind, not to notice you and Rhodey right beside them?

Did you really have to have no popcorn to enjoy, as you watched this?

"That's surprising," Tony said, walking towards her, "No, it's not surprising. I get it. You don't have to make any excuses."

Pepper stuttered. "I'm not making any excuses."

You eyes rolled as far back into your head as they possibly could. Luckily for you, missing some of what the bickering couple said.

"You deserve better."

"Well..."

"You've taken such good care of me." Were those... tears in Tony's voice? "I've been in a tough spot, but you got me through it, so... right?"

They muttered some words that you couldn't hear all that well.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

And then they kissed.

A look of disgust appearing upon your face. And you were thankful that you, in fact, did not have that popcorn, you whished for not long ago.

"I thought it was weird." You snapped back into reality, from your unexpected daze, at Rhodey's words.

Thank, God. They had stopped kissing.

"You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape."

“Hey, hey, now Rhodey." You put your hand up to the man. "That's an insult to seals and grapes."

Rhodey laughed beside you, as the previously kissing couple grew uncomfortable and fidgety.

"Don't even try to make excuses," you told them.

"Yeah, we heard the whole thing."

“You two should get lost,” Tony says to you and Rhodey.

"We were here first," the Colonel defended. "Get a roof."

"Yeah, and I'm fine, by the way. Thank's for asking." You smirked.

"I thought you two were out of one-liners."

"That's the last one."

"Speak for yourself," you said standing up. "Oh, also. I am never getting into one of these flying hell suits ever again.”

“Aww, don't say that. You’ll hurt its feelings.”

"I don't care."

"Oh, yeah? Well, how are you gonna get home then?"

"After I get home," you clarified. "I am never getting into one of these things, ever again."

“Don’t lie. You like the suit. Now,” he said, gesturing his head to the side, “Go get your girl.”

“What? There’s no way I’m going anywhere near one of those things.”

Oh, she was still here, was she?

“Oh, c’mon Romanoff.” You smirked, taking flight, “Fly away with me.”

“Not a chance.”

You landed in front of the red-head, exiting the building. Startling her as you did.

"Agent Romanoff." You smirked, throwing your arms out by your sides. If she didn't know better, Natasha would have assumed you were Tony. "Your ride has arrived."

"Get away from me."

***

“So...” you started, looking towards the red-head standing beside you, looking out onto the ocean below you, “Wanna go out on a date?”

Natasha turned to face you properly, a small smile on her face, “I thought you’d never ask, Y/L/N.” Stepping closer, her hand on your bicep, she continued, “Tonight. We’ll watch a movie in my cabin.”

You smiled.

“Only a movie,” she clarified, “No funny business.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Romanoff.”

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 13: SNAFU

Characters: Captain Syverson, various original minor/supporting characters.

Summary: Sy has some time to think about his past, present, and future while roughing it in the Virginia wilderness which leads him to a revelation about what he really wants…but is it too late?

Need to start from the beginning? Miss an update because Tumblr? Click me!

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings:  Mild language, mature themes, military and weapon terminology, discussion, and use. (For those who don’t know, SNAFU is a term coined in the military. It’s an acronym for “Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.” And since this is from Sy’s perspective, I thought a military term, as opposed to a therapy term would be appropriate.)

Author’s Note: Despite this being the longest chapter, clocking in at almost 5k, it was one of the easiest to write, and came the quickest. I love writing from Sy’s perspective, and the pure love he has for Shane. I’m hoping to be able to write a bit more of his POV before the story is complete. We’ll see. I apologize if it seems like one long rant about Sy’s feelings…I guess that’s what it is, with various activities peppered in. He can be a sensitive guy, and I wanted to show that. 

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Sy was no whimp. That much was certain. Missouri winters had toughened him up more than most men in his battalion and most of the participants in the training he was currently undertaking.

But it was more than that. Sy was uniquely prepared for the elements. He remembered a particularly harsh December night during Christmas break, before he joined the service when he was home alone and had to let the dog out. Fool that he was, he wore no shoes. Greater fool, he'd allowed the door to the back yard to close…and unfortunately, it had a tendency to lock. Which it did. He tried fruitlessly for a while to break back in, but being without a cell phone, he knew he'd have to walk a good distance for help with the lock.

He slipped out the gate and started up to the road, to follow it  to his grandparents a few miles away. The county road wasn't the best kind for walking, particularly barefoot in the late fall, but his feet were soon too numb to feel the gravel and whatever else was lacerating the soles of his feet. After about an hour, he made it there, shivering, knocking frantically and waking his frail old grandparents up to rescue him from his own negligence. He'd regret that until the day he died. Not that they were angry about it. They shrugged it off. His grandma cleaned the blood and dirt from his feet and bandaged the shallowed abrasions. They didn't look too bad, considering the area they lived in and the trash that could have been waiting to carve him up. Then she set about cleaning up Sy's messy footprints from her normally immaculate floor. Grandpa looked all over for their spare keys to Sy's and his mom's house, and finally found them. He lent him a pair of shoes, drove him back home, and let him in the house. After that, Sy found himself eager to spend time outdoors during colder weather. As if determined to build up a tolerance to it in case he ever found himself in such a situation again.

Now, despite the time of year being only late August, it was unseasonably cool, especially at night, as if Christmas was right around the corner, and Sy was wishing more and more that he had someone to cuddle with during the nights he'd be doing cross country training here at the beautiful Shenandoah National Park. He had packed only the essentials for the expedition, a mess kit, bed roll, canteen, modest rations, first aid supplies, et cetera, plus a rope and a tarp for building a shelter. On his person, he had a compass, a topographical map of the park with checkpoints indicated, waterproof, strike-anywhere matches, a hunting knife, a tactical knife, an M17 pistol, and three .9mm clips. He was also given a flare gun to use in case he got stuck for any reason and needed extraction.

On his first night in the wilderness, he'd taken a lot of time falling asleep. Thinking.

He thought about his last week at home. He wondered how Mr. and Mrs. Stevens were doing with Aika. Shane had offered to watch her, and he considered it. He had appreciated her eagerness to help after her…less than enthusiastic response to hearing about this trip. But he decided since Aika had a close relationship already with Fred and Caroline, and she was still getting to know Shane, they'd better be the ones to take her. She understood, and had offered the second reason that since she worked so much, she wouldn't be able to give her the kind of attention she was used to. That had made a lot of sense. He felt like kind of a bad dog parent for not thinking of it, himself.

He thought about the week he'd been here already at the compound. His first day filling out paperwork, he was asked for an emergency contact. He was used to putting his mom…but she wasn't in the best of health, herself. He had nobody. Nobody but Shane. He put her down, instead of his mom. He thought about the seminars on company approved methods of subduing and detaining targets and combatants. He should have taught Shane some self-defense moves before he left. She could handle herself, and she'd proven so, but still. A refresher, or an advancement on one's skills was always a good idea. But he was sure she'd be fine. He thought about her the most in the torturous policy and procedure lecture. What he wouldn't'a given to have her here with him. She would have made everything fun. And she would have been a way better study partner than Keith. Keith, a Navy vet from Little Rock was a good guy…he just…didn't get Sy's jokes. He was a very literal kind of thinker, and it took extra effort for Sy to communicate with folks like that.

Shane, though…he and Shane wouldn't have gotten too much done, study-wise. They would have been…distracted.

As he hiked along the trails to his first checkpoint, he breathed in the clean, crisp air and stopped at the odd overlook here and there. The park was nestled on the outer edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and they were too gorgeous not to appreciate while he was here. He found himself…uniquely emotional. He didn't feel lonely often, but since he'd met Shane, he'd hardly gone two days without seeing her, even if it was for just an hour. She'd love all of this. She'd probably want a tent, and coffee in the mornings, so they wouldn't be able to travel quite as light, but they'd make it work. Maybe one day they'd take a trip like this. Just for fun. No checkpoints. No deadlines. No semi-automatic weapons…well, honestly, he'd probably still bring a gun, anyway. You never did know about people these days, he thought. Of course, that's probably what people think of me carrying a pistol, he also thought…anyway, he was almost to the checkpoint.

Said checkpoint was a big tent, like the ones they sold fireworks out of leading up to Fourth of July. Inside there was a single lane shooting range set up down one half of the tent. On the other half, there were stations set up with dismantled weapons that you had to assemble in a certain amount of time. Someone had beaten him to the range, so he started with the guns. No problems whatsoever. He was familiar more or less with all of the models, or some version of them. When the previous participant, a small blonde woman, had finished on the range, Sy stepped up to the counter.

The attendant reset the target for Sy so he could do a close range shot, then again for mid and long range ones. He shot well, although he still wasn't used to the lighter weight of the SIG Sauer M17s the armed forces switched to back in 2017. They'd offered him an M18 at the compound, but he favored the heaver pistol, instead. Maybe the M18 was more packable, but Sy just didn't feel right firing a weapon that felt like a feather in his hand. If it was up to him, he'd take a Colt Python .357 Magnum Revolver. That, however, was more than just a question of how the firearm felt in his hand. Being out in the wilderness like this made him think back to how it must have been before these lands became civilized and gentrified. Back to the days of the cowboy, Wyatt Earp and the OK Corral. Back when it was just the wild and free land he could pretend it was now. He thanked the attendant, who was writing his name on his targets to take back to the compound along with his graded weapon assembly timesheets, and then was back on his way.

There was an eerie beauty about this unsullied land, he thought, as the dusk fell the second night of the excursion and he began setting up his camp about halfway between the first and second checkpoints, by his estimation. With his fire built and his shelter up, Sy took out some of his rations, cured meat, hard cheese, and some walnuts, and had a light supper before cleaning his gun and turning in while the ground still held some heat from the waning sun, wishing again as the cold set in that his woman was there to warm him.

His sleep was fitful. And he awoke before dawn, from dreams he couldn't remember but which still left him feeling empty. They must have been about her. He was starting to feel regret. The last time he'd seen Shane, he'd said some things that he meant to be selfless. But he didn't mean them. He meant the parts about loving her, of course. But the last thing he wanted was to come home and find her moved on with someone else. He couldn't stand to think about it. As he walked into the next checkpoint area, the range was already set up for close range firing. He riddled the target with .9mm holes and could barely wait until the attendant got the fresh sheet set to mid range before he began firing.

"How about you let me fully clear the lane before you start on the long range target, okay, Syverson?"

"Sorry, man. I'm a little…on edge today. Won't happen again."

The short, sandy-haired buck trotted out to replace the riddled sheet with one more for the long range leg, pulled it down and lacked it in to long range position, then hoofed it back up to safety, sensing the captain's impatience. Sy shot cleanly, but with cold anger, as if the silhouette on the page out there was trying to take Shane away from him. He put two square in the chest, and two in the head without hesitating.

"Man, I've never seen a long range shoot like that! What's the deal, you pissed at an ex, or something?" Sy checked the man's lapel for a name tag.

"Not exactly, Mister…Daniels."

"Call me Jack." they shook hands, and Sy chuckled, questioning.

"I'm Sy. You're name is Jack…Daniels?"

"Yes sir. No relation to the Lynchburg Daniels, unfortunately. Momma wanted to name me after her granddad, and my old man, well, he had no problem with it given his affinity for the spirit."

"A wise man, your dad. Some of my best nights have included Tennessee Number 7." He didn't elaborate, but he was getting very specific flashbacks of drinking games in his kitchen with Shane. And he was gonna have to shake it off before the weapons assembly drill, or else he'd end up putting together an assault rifle backward.

He made it through without any trouble, thank the good Lord. But that didn't mean that his mind wasn't still reeling. He was thinking of Shane and the possibility that she was being courted by Chris Evans look-alikes and young Harrison Ford doppelgangers, and it was making him furious. He was pretty sure that she was about as interested in taking a break as he was, but he couldn't help himself from making the offer under the circumstances. He kicked himself as he made his camp for the evening, not very far away from the third checkpoint, but too far away to get there by dusk when the daily deadline was. He was a shoe in to get there first in the morning, though, if he was reading his map correctly, and he was damn good at maps, if he did say so, himself. And who would bitch at him for bragging out here, anyway. The odd cricket or squirrel? He didn't think so.

It was colder tonight, and he was thankful that he thought to boil some water for his canteen and put it at his feet. He curled his surly, burly body up under the layers of blanket and thermal sheeting. He was almost warm enough…but he still needed something.

His sleep was plagued by strange dreams that he unfortunately remembered tonight. The scene began with Shane in a bright pink dress and matching gloves, dripping with diamonds, like Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. She looked so glamourous and beautiful, but she was getting passed from man to man to the tune of Madonna's Material Girl, which was not the correct song, and he knew it in that moment, but couldn't correct anyone, because it was all playing out on the big screen TV in his basement. When he realized this he turned it off and noticed a familiar head of hair on his lap and stroked it, about to say "Hey, sunshine." until the figure sat up and looked at him, and it was Jordan, the PTA, batting his eyelashes at him, and asking, "You ready for bed, babe?"  The therapist leaned in for a kiss, but Sy leaned back, tumbled off the couch and landed on those crutches again, standing right in front of Shane in the lobby of the therapy clinic.

"Hey sunshine." he said warmly. She looked confused.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Well…I should hope so…it's me. Sy."

"Sorry, not ringing any bells. I'll look you us and see who you're with, though. Usually Heather tells the new patients which therapists they get their first day. What's your last name?"

He felt like he was getting kicked in the gut with a soccer cleat worn by the Incredible Hulk. He answered with defeat.

"Sy's a nickname. Last name Syverson, first name Logan."

"Oh, there you are. Looks like Cory gets to take care of you today. I'll let him know you're ready. As long as you're all done with the secretaries?"

Sy nodded and collapsed to the floor blacking out. When he woke up, his neighbor, Mr. Stevens was standing over him, insisting it was time for him to get ready. He kept handing him things to put on. Pants, a nice shirt, a vest, a light blue tie, a jacket, nice shoes. The whole enchilada. They got out of Fred's car at a little white chapel outside which, his neighbor pinned a small boutonniere of powder blue hydrangeas to his lapel and walked in with him.

"Come on, boy. She'll be here any minute."

Sy was nervous, but excited. He was obviously marrying Shane. But he couldn't remember proposing, or planning the wedding, or an engagement party, or bachelor party, or rehearsal dinner, nothing…but none of that mattered. He heard the first notes of "Here Comes the Bride" and everything faded away, anyway. He began to cry as she got closer. She was moving slowly, he presumed out of nerves. Or perhaps she'd chosen the wrong shoes. It didn't matter. They'd dance the night away barefoot, and make love until dawn. He wished her veil wasn't so thick. He couldn't even see her bouquet. Let alone her stunning face, no doubt smiling as she cried with him. When she stood in front of him, he broke protocol and removed the veil to find Aika in a white dress on her hind legs panting, tongue lolling happily to one side.

"You may now kiss the bride." said the wizened old minister, causing Aika to knock Sy to the ground licking his face until he blacked out again.

This time, he woke to the chirping birds of a mountain morning in Virginia. His campfire long snuffed, his canteen now chilled as his blood. Those dreams…those were traumatic. He didn't want Shane to see anyone else. The thought of seeing anyone else himself repulsed him. Thinking about what his life would have been like if they'd never gotten to work together made him physically ill, and he was terrified that if he didn't act on these feelings, he'd end up with no one but his dog. Why did it take a trip out of state and all these nights of solitude to figure this out? She was all that mattered. He could dig ditches, flip burgers, get a teaching certificate and coach, or teach gym. Whatever. He also liked history. He could think of something if the people at Secure Source couldn't keep him in consistent work. It would be fine. He understood his purpose now. And it wasn't just to do his duty to his country. He'd served proudly for years. He had a new purpose now. And it was her.

He packed up camp in what he was sure was record time and hauled ass to the last checkpoint where the brass should be waiting for finishers. He was the first one there this morning, but he wasn't sure if anyone had made it yesterday. He didn't try to make small talk with the attendant today. He was on a legit mission to get back to his locker at the compound, turn his phone on and call Shane. He fired four shots, but only made two holes on the long range target. One in the chest, one in the head. The attendant was impressed, giving the highest possible grade.

"Man, Syverson. I pray I never do anything to piss you off."

Sy nodded in acknowledgement and went on to the weapons drill booths. Today, there were distracting sound effects playing on a speaker in each booth, and each one was different. Sy ignored the cacophony, pretending it was white noise, and focused on the puzzles at hand, breezing through the new weapons in better time than ever.

As his cards were being scored and turned in for review to Jane Freitag, the administrator over acquisitions and training, he got himself a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and just observed her, tactically, and objectively. She was a redhead with sharp features, freckles, and light eyes. She was slender, but dressed simply, and modestly. The consummate professional. Sy had honestly barely registered her gender, and it wasn't because she wasn't beautiful. She was. Full red lips, lashes for days, and although her clothes didn't exactly accentuate her shape, he could tell he had a decent figure. He just wasn't interested. And would never be interested in anyone but Shane again. Miss Freitag startled him out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Syverson." She beckoned him to the entrance to the tent near her vehicle.

He picked up his gear and coffee and trotted over to her.

"Ma'am?"

"Jane, please."

"Sy, then, for me. What's next on the agenda?"

"Well, you're the first participant across the finish line. I'm very impressed. It seems as though you almost could have finished last night."

"Yes, ma'am, if I hadn't taken a little extra time for sightseeing, I might have made it here by dusk last night. I just haven't had the hustle I had today."

"Well, that's nothing to sneer at. Normally, the deprivation of food, regular water supply, and proper sleeping conditions make participants sloppy. The opposite seems to be true for you, as you've done better at each checkpoint than the one before. Now, let's get back to the compound and get you a proper meal, and a shower, and talk about what's next for you here at Secure Source."

"Yeah, about that. Before we go much further with this, I need to know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I need to know if you'll be able to find me work near enough to St. Robert and the base there so that I don't have to relocate and travel all the time.  I've got a life there, and…it's not something I can just pick up and move on a whim, and I don't want to be away for weeks and months at a time. I know I made this trip work, but I'm praying it didn't already ruin everything." He wasn't going to waste time mincing words. He needed to know right away or else this wouldn't work.

"Sy, with your talent…they're gonna want to put you on the high profile cases. Celebrity security. Concerts, movie premiers, things like that. You'll be wasted as a small town rent-a-cop." there was true concern in her face and her voice as she drove them out of the park and onto the main road to Secure Source's compound.

"If there's a need I can fill, how is that a waste? There's lots of talent in this program. Just 'cause I finished first don't mean I did it the best. And I'm sure most of these folks have the people skills to take them farther'n me. And if you wanna gimme first crack at those, I'll hear ya out. Just…let me reserve the right to turn down the out of town jobs. Especially if they're short notice. And if it takes me away from another security job, I want you to send me a replacement a few days in advance so I can meet 'em, train 'em, and introduce 'em around."

"Seems reasonable." Jane said.

"Well, alright, then. I think we got ourselves a deal. I'll shower up in the locker room real quick, then meet ya in the commissary for a sandwich so we can handle the particulars?"

"Sure, Sy." she agreed as they pulled into the parking structure.

They went their separate ways, Jane to her office, and Sy to the quartermaster to return his supplies and get the key to his locker. He practically danced there, he was so giddy to get to call Shane. He did need a quick shower first, though. Which he took, grabbing some shampoo and soap out of his travel bag. When he got back to his locker, towel around his waist, he replaced the products and grabbed his phone. He sat on the bench between the rows of lockers as it booted up.

When it did, it began alerting him as if it's life depended on it. Three text messages, three voicemails, … and twenty four missed calls. That was odd. Maybe a telemarketer had gotten his number.

He checked the texts first. One was a picture of Aika from Fred, his neighbor, the other two were from Shane…two days ago. The day he went into the park.

Hey, hope you have a great first day of Survivor: Virginia! Lol! Be safe! I love you!

OMG, nutty day today! I'm gonna be doing notes for hours! I'll text you in the morning! <3

And then nothing…he chuckled at Survivor: Virginia, but was a bit concerned. Maybe she'd decided not to waste time texting him if he wasn't going to respond? He didn't know. Maybe some of the calls or voicemails were from her. He'd check before calling.

One from his mom, one from the Stephen's house phone, and the rest were from Fort Wood Therapy. That was weird. He was discharged and didn't have any appointments…surely he wasn't missing any…Shane would have said something. He listened to the voicemails. The first one was from Heather.

"Hey, Sy, it's Heather, Shane's friend here at therapy. Hey, give me a call when you get this. Thanks."

Weird…the next one was from Susan, Shane's boss. In the same tone.

"Captain Syverson, it's Susan DeForrest here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. Please give us a call when you get this. Thank you."

Again, weird. The last one was Susan again and far less friendly and measured.

"Mr. Syverson. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but you need to bring Shane back to work and stop screwing around. One or both of you is in serious trouble. Either you're being hot-lined for abduction or she's fired for not showing up for work. The choice will be hers." and the line went dead.

Sy felt his stomach twist into nauseated knots at Susan's words. Shane hadn't been to work. For how long? He had to call them. He didn't want to think about the horror that might have befallen Shane while he'd been away.

"Fort Wood Therapy Clinic, this is Heather, how may I help you?" Heather said, trying to hide the obvious worry beneath the cordial demeanor.

"Heather, it's Sy, what the hell's going on with Shane? What do you mean, she hasn't been to work, I don't…"

"Let me give you to Susan, Sy. I'm sorry." She added the last two words in a whisper. After a brief moment on hold, Susan picked up.

"So, Mr. Syverson. Finally decided to call us back?"

"Cut it out, Susan." He let her blatant ignorance of his rank slide in favor of getting to the point. "Tell me what's going on."

"Shane left work Monday and hasn't been back since. No one has seen her. Apart from you, I presume. I knew letting her date a patient would come back to bite me. I should never have--"

"Shut up! This isn't about you, and it isn't because of you. And you had no right to tell Shane who she could and couldn't date, anyway. I haven't seen her in about a week and a half. I'm training out of state for a job. I've been away from my phone since Monday, and I just got back to it now."

"She isn't…with you? I assumed…"

"Well, you know what they say, Susan. I'm coming back early if I can manage it. See if I can do something to help find her. Thanks for calling me. I know your intentions weren't the best when you did, but ultimately, it worked out. I may not have found out otherwise, at least until… much later."

He hung up before she could respond. He had to talk to Jane about cutting his training short. This was all his fault. If he had just come to the realization of just how important, how vital Shane really was to him before he left…well he never would have gone in the first place. She was his life now. His world. His future, and his whole heart. Tears stung his eyes as he dressed to meet Jane in the commissary. She'd have to be okay with this. She'd have to understand.

As he got closer to the smell of fry oil, seasonings, and sizzling meat on a griddle, aromas that usually made his stomach grumble with hunger, he had to swallow back the bile that crept up his throat. He found her seated at a small round four-top, already eating a salad. He sat across from her, startling her from whatever she was reading on her phone, and again when she looked at his expression and complexion.

"Sy, what's wrong? You look downright green!"

"Listen, Jane, I'm going to have to leave training early." She scowled at him, but he was more concerned with the putrid smells of boiled egg and onion coming off her chef salad. He had to get this over with quick before he wretched in the middle of the mess hall.

"That's a big ask, Sy. Gonna have to have a reason."

"I just got a call that my girlfriend is missing. I need to go home and help find her."

"Oh…yeah, that's…that's some reason. I'm really sorry to hear that. Any leads so far?"

"No, I just got off the phone with her useless boss and all she told me was that she hasn't been to work since Monday and can't be reached on her phone. I have my suspicions, but I wanna talk to the authorities."

"Okay, well. Maybe when things calm down at home, we can set you up with some online courses like we do for our assets who need refreshers, but are on assignment. I'll approve that for you."

"Thanks," he said, gratefully, "I'm also wondering if the company has any…transportation solutions for me…of an immediate nature?"

"Man, what were your letters to Santa like as a child?"

"Oh, you know, a little red wagon, end of poverty, world peace…that kind of stuff." he grinned his most charming grin.

"Why am I not surprised? Okay, but you have to return the favor somehow, Sy."

"How about, one assignments of your choosing, no questions asked?"

"Hmmm, what about five assignments?"

"Three?" he countered.

"Done." they shook hands across the table. "I would have settled at two." she smirked.

"I would have done ten." he winked at her as he turned to retrieve his belongings from his bunk and locker. He had a plane…or perhaps a chopper to catch.

Up Next: Chapter 14: No Call No Show

[mysticthot]

RFA x Jumins Sister!MC

idk why i have such a thirst for jumin as a big brother but here we are

also this is hella long my b 

Yoosung Kim

knows who you are thru magazines and what not, but he’s never met you in person

that is until the first rfa party that Rika holds

he sees you from across the room, standing next to Jumin looking like a model and he’s shook

wow shes even prettier in person, i didnt know she was gonna be here tonight i should go talk to her, wait no she’ll think i’m a loser- OH GOD SHES LOOKING SHE PROBABLY THINKS IM A CREEP DOES MY HAIR LOOK GOOD oh shes smiling at me

thoughts running wild he doesn't know what to do so he straight up turns around and walks away

it isn't until later in the night that he actually gets to talk to you

“Hi, I’m MC. Your Yoosung right? Part of the RFA?”

he’s shook when u said hi first

you have a good conversations and he’s surprised at how easy you are to talk to and how different you are from your brother

at the end of the night you catch him before he leaves and give him your number

definitely spends the rest of the night trying to think of something cool to txt you

definitely asks Zen for help

manages to start talking to you, and suddenly your messaging each other constantly

its Yoosung were talking about, his crush on you is immediately all he can think about

but he goes out of his way to not say anything in the chatrooms cause Jumin hasn't mentioned anything so he’s not sure if Jumin knows 

lowkey terrified of Jumin finding out and sending a hitman after him

he’s too shy to ask you on a date

literally everything about you screams out of his league

so imagine his surprise when you ask him to a movie

boi straight up falls out of his chair in the middle of class

ya’ll go see a movie and his soul nearly leaves his body when you lean in and give his a short peck on his lips afterwards

“I really like you Yoosung, I’ve never had a guy treat me so well.”

“I-I like you too MC.”

his soul does leave his body when Jumin enters the chatroom the next day saying nothing but his full name in all caps

poor boi is immediately apologizing and ranting about how much he likes you and how he promises to be good to you

After everything Jumin simply responds with, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Now with Jumins approval, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend which you happily say yes to

This boi loves you so much, and he is in awe everyday that you chose him

Likes to show you off, especially to his friends

Loves when you pick him up from school lookin all cute and pulling him into a tight hug

gets very jealous and protective knowing all these rich dudes are competing for your attention, but he as Jumins support and your love, so he’s happy

Zen

Vaguely aware that you exist

Has heard Jumin or Jaehee mention you a few times, but he doesn't think much of it, and he actively goes out of his way to not watch or read anything with the name ‘Han’ in it

He’s in the lobby of the C&R building waiting for Jaehee so they could go get coffee, when he sees a cute girl struggling by the closed elevator doors with arms full of papers and folders

ever the gentleman, he goes over and offers to hold some of it for you

“Excuse me miss, would you like some help with that?”

You look up at him and his breath is all but knocked out of him when he gets a full glance at your beauty

“Oh, wow thank you.”

You smile breathlessly up at him, both of you seem to be in the same trance

He snaps out of it to grab the papers from your arms, and introduces himself

Your both looking at each other with that same wide eyed look when the elevator doors open

There stands Jaehee in the middle of the love fest.

“Uh...Zen, I see you’ve met MC. Jumins sister.”

SHHOOOK

He’s so dramatic like he full on backs up hand over the heart gasping

You almost laugh at the look on his face

“Oh, so your that Zen? I’ve heard all about you.

Jaehee takes your papers from Zen and gets into the elevator with you mumbling about how she’ll be right back.

Zen almost dies when you wink and blow him a kiss as the doors close

Jaehee is interrogated by Zen through out their whole lunch

You were so cute and nice looking?? How were you related to the trust fund kid???

Gasps when he realizes that makes you a trust fund kid as well

Yet, he cant stop thinking about you and the moment you shared in the lobby

He’s such a romantic, he becomes convinced this is a Romeo and Juliet love at first sight thing

Hung around in the lobby for a bit one day hoping to meet you again, but he starting looking suspicious so he had to leave

Ends up pestering Jaehee for hours until she gives in and gives him your phone number

Very quick to send you a selfie asking if you remember him

You reply even faster

“Of course I remember you, how could I forget such a beautiful face? Oh and also Jaehee has kept me updated on how much u ask about me ;)”

He’s never been out charmed by someone before, but you have him so flustered

Quick to ask you on a date

Basically does turn into Romeo and Juliet ft. Jeahee as the Nurse (omg just realized how thats a pretty good fic idea i might right that lol)

She helps cover your tracks while your sneaking around with Zen

But Jumin is getting ever more suspicious and after many useless reports from him sending Jaehee to follow you, he sends one of his guards instead

This is all very inconvenient for him, he doesn’t like the thought of you not being able to tell him something, you’ve told each other everything always

not to mention zen has been getting on his nerves lately being strange and sappy in the chat rooms

He could never imagine the shock that filled his entire being when his guard told him he had seen you going into Zens house

Boi’s over there in an instant banging on the door

A shirtless zen opens the door, his hair messed up and a hickey growing redder by the second on his neck

Jumins pushing him up against a wall before he can even react

The slam startles you out of the bed in nothing but a sheet, only to freeze when you see the scene before you

guess you’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It takes a long time to get them off each others necks

“Guys, why dont we all calm down and talk about this rationally?’

“MC, the only thing keeping me from knocking this trust fund kid out is the fact that he is your brother.”

“Zen not helping!”

Jumin all but drags you back to the car and you’re lectured the whole ride home

Then lectured some more in the pent house

Then some more before you announced you were going to bed

He was angrily pouring himself some wine when he heard your phone go off

It was Zen

He justifies his actions by saying you had betrayed his trust, and opens the message

“I’m sorry MC, I hope you’re ok. I know he wont approve, but I hope you can find away to stay with me. I will never find someone like you and even if he doesn’t understand or believe it, I love you. Call me when you can.”

Now he feels kinda bad

Then he remembers Zen’s hickey and he’s mad again

It takes him a while but he eventually allows for you and Zen to see each other freely

Feels betrayed by Jaehee

Jaehee (Speaking of betrayal lol)

She knows of you, but has never met you, as you are studying abroad

When Jumin first mentions the fact that he is going to pick you up from the airport, shes initially worried that she will have to deal with a second Jumin

And in her experience, the high class women aren’t the easiest to get along with

So imagine her surprise the next day when she is going to the penthouse to introduce herself and finds...what looks like a completely normal girl lounging in her pajamas

You smile kindly at her as Jumin, dressed in his normal suit, comes to stand beside you and she cant believe the differences

Shes pretty sure you’re showing more emotion on you face in this exact moment than Jumin has in his entire life rip lol

She introduces herself, and it shocked when you immediately pull her into a hug

“Its so nice to meet you, I’m MC.”

The way you say your name and the way your holding her hands in yours while you smile at her she just-

gay panic

Your spending the summer with Jumin, so she sees you around a lot and every time you are just as sweet to her

As time passes she begins to feel strange when she sees you

Heart racing, cheeks blushing, you know the drill

But its been so long since Jaehee has had a crush on someone, and she wasn't even sure if this was a crush

poor babe is confused af

Cause your so nice to her

And you make Jumin be nice to her

And you get her off work to hang out 

But she doesn’t know if your being friendly...

One day she is going over last minute talking points with Jumin as he prepares for a gala event when you come walking out

Your dress makes you look like an angel, your hair is flowing and framing your beautiful face and- oh, there was that smile again

She nearly chocked when she saw you

gay panic intensifies 

you make her feel the way zens videos do

Suddenly she’s not so confused anymore

She walked you and Jumin down to the car waiting outside and you turn to her before following your brother in

“You’re not coming with us are you?” you asked with a slight frown.

“No, it would be inappropriate for an assistant to attend such an event.” she sighed, smoothing out her work skirt, suddenly realizing how different you two really were.

You paused, looking like you might say something, but stopped yourself, telling her to have a good night before getting into the car

She watched you drive away, and wasn’t expecting to hear from you any more that night

Then her phones ringing and its you and she’s answering in a flash

You voice is shaky, asking her if she could pick you up if it wouldn't be too much trouble cause you didn't want to inconvenience her

She was in the car before you had finished the call

When she pulled around the back of the event, where you had asked to meet, she saw you standing in the dark, a look so sad it made her heart hurt

You climbed into the passenger seat, but the ride back to the penthouse was silent

It wasn't until she pulled up to the curb that you invited her upstairs

As soon as you passed the door way to the house, it was like your fake composure, one that she knew you had been raised to perfect, melted away

You sighed before dropping face first onto a couch cushion and screaming into it

Jaehee didn't know exactly what to do, so she gave your back a somewhat comforting pat until you sat up ready to tell her what was wrong

Turns out you had met a man at the gala

(her heart dropped when you said that)

But the man was an absolute dick

(So your sayin she has a chance?)

The man had been grabbing you and touching you all night, asking for dances and pressuring you to drink

The final straw was while he had dragged you into a dance, his hand lowed down before he full on groped your ass in front of everyone

You had slapped him

The gotten promptly lectured from your father

“He was acting like I was in the wrong for standing up for myself. Saying I was making a fool of the family reacting in such a way! Why aren’t the men held in such a standard that so I don’t have to act like that in the first place?!”

“I’m so sorry MC, that is truly disgusting that you had to go through that.” She pulled you into a hug, and side by side you sat on the couch, enjoying each others comfort

“Next time...I think I’d like to take you as my date...” You mumbled into her shoulder.

She froze

Didn’t know was to say

Were you friends? Were you something more???

Her questions were answered as you pulled back from the hug and placed a timid kiss on her lips

It was short, almost testing the waters for both of you

But when your eyes met, the kiss that followed was anything but timid or short

Jumin was not pleased with that he saw when he got home

His assistant and sister making out in his living room

what was his life coming to??

Not nearly as mad as you thought he would be however

He had heard what your father had said to you and rushed home to make sure you were ok

Claims he knew this whole time you weren't into guys, or at least not straight, but you think hes just trying to redeem himself from the fact that his assistant seduced his sister right under his nose

Jaehee and you go as a couple to the next gala and rock that shit

707/ Saeyoung

Obvi, this boi knows everything

As soon as he was introduced to Jumin, he did a background check, and thats how he was led to you

From then on, he is not subtle or quiet with his ‘celebrity’ crush

Basically acts towards you the way he does towards Elizabeth the 3rd

Uses you as a way to tease Jumin and get him all riled up

“omg Jumin, I saw MC’s photo in a magazine today and I swear I fell in love all over again.

“If you come near her, I will get a restraining order.”

Jumin is in no way amused

The rest of the RFA is tho

Like Yoosung, you meet Seven at the first party. 

He is quick to spot you, and Jumin is even quicker to separate you from him

You, however, have no idea why your brother is being even more over protective than usual, and take the first opportunity to sneak off to the bar

Seven sees you alone for the first time and quickly turns to Yoosung, asking him how he looks before running off to you

You’re shook when in the middle of taking a drink a random redhead all bed falls into the chair next to you

“HIMYNAMESSEVENITSAPLEASURETOMEETYOU!”

“...What?”

He takes a comically large breath, lets it out, then holds his hand out for you to shake

You laugh when he bows and kissed your knuckles before introducing himself slower this time

“Sorry, I just felt like I needed to rush, your brothers gonna kill me when he sees me talking to you.”

You laugh and roll your eyes and he thinks you have the best sounding laugh he has ever heard

Good thing his only talent is getting people to laugh at him

You proceed to spend the next five minutes laughing so hard your stomach hurts and your eyes water before a large group of not only your brother, but several body guards come to interrupt

“Oh no, my sweet MC, it seems our time has been cut short, I’ll never forget the moments we spent together, no matter how brief!” he calls to you while being escorted to the other side of the room by two large men

Jumin lectures you on the dangers of talking to strange men and you remind him that the whole point of this party was to talk to people you don’t know

He forbids you from talking to Seven 

“MC, he’s a sadist!”

“That just makes me want him more...”

Later that night you get a strange text, or dare I say, a mysterious message, saying your phone was being hacked

Your shook and don’t know what to do watching as the so called hacker typed before the second message popped up

Is your name wifi? Cause I really felt a connection~

Ok now your more shook

Then a third message pops up and its the cute guy from the party, and you laugh before responding

You spend the rest of the night picking up where you left off at the party

And Seven it once again, not quiet about his crush

Jumin wakes up the next morning to chatroom after chatroom all about you

Half of them are him talking mindlessly about your wedding, the other half is the rest of the members telling him to shut up

Jumin is t r i g g e r e d 

His first instinct is to take your phone, since you obviously cant make good choices for yourself

But then he remembers you are an adult, and he cant take away your phone

So he goes to plan B which is threaten Seven with a restraining order, once again

Halfway through typing out a long, angry message, you skip out into the kitchen, and suddenly his anger it focused on you

“MC WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO SEVEN HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU YOU NEED TO BLOCK HIM AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER HES CRAZY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING”

“He’s so cute and sweet tho.” you pout

“Awe, thanks MC.”

Both of you look up to find Seven standing in the doorway with a bouquet of flowers

Seven is forcefully removed from the building

Jumin gives you the whole, “he’s a hacker he’s dangerous” speech, but you are stubborn

You tell him you are an adult who can make her own choices

He does the things parents do where they think they can guilt you into making the right choice

Thinks he’s won when he doesn't hear anything about you from Seven for a while

Imagine his shock when he logs into the chatroom to see a picture from the cctv of you and Seven kissing, clearly in the middle of a date along with a picture of a plastic cat ring on your ring finger 

“She said yes!”

“I am going to physically hurt you.”

On the more serious side, Seven would be a little harder because of his job, so everything you guys did would have to be in secret

He would get in his moods where he thought you deserved a boyfriend who could treat you better and be seen in public with you

Don’t even get him started on how dangerous he was

But you could use your connections to help him get his life on track, and eventually get him a job at C&R

Jumin isn't happy with it, but when he accepts that Seven actually cares for you and this isn’t just some joke, he will come to terms with it

V/ JIhyun

V has known you since you were born, as him and Jumin were already friends then

Infact, he has a picture somewhere of him as a child holding you the day you got home from the hospital

Growing up with V and Jumin, was almost like having two brother

Both very protective over you

Being kids, you went through the normal phases

“Boys have cooties dont touch me!” 

‘C-cooties...but MC...”

There were times when you would tease each other simply because that’s what kids do when they have crushes

His little cheeks would get all red when you and him would play games together

He liked to be the knight that saved you from the evil dragon (Jumin) and one time you very lightly pecked a kiss onto his cheek before running off and his face was red for the rest of the day

In fact you were each others first kiss

It was during a sleep over he was having with Jumin

Jumin had fallen asleep during a movie leaving you and V alone, sitting together in a blanket fort

You were playing truth or dare, but they were mostly truths to keep the game quiet and not wake anyone

“Truth or dare MC.”

“Truth.”

“...Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Your whole face went red, as did his, he had barely even worked up the courage to ask the question

“...No.” You whispered, “Have you?

“No.”

The game stopped for a moment, V was looking at while you did you best to look anywhere but at him

“Truth or dare MC?”

“...Truth.”

“Can I kiss you?”

The kiss was short and stiff and a little awkward, but it was something you both would remember for ever

And a secret you would keep from Jumin until way into your adult years

Jumin was annoyed by the whole thing

He loved his sister and all, but he didn't exactly like his best friend and sister always flirting

As you got older, the childhood crushes died down into fond memories and the occasional flirt or butterfly in the stomach

You dated a few people, he dated a few people

But there was always those times when it was just you and him alone where it seemed like something was so close to happening

But he graduated with Jumin before you did, and left to start his own life

That when he met Rika

You were happy for him truly, you were dating someone at the time as well and you wanted to see you friend be happy, he deserved it

But tragedy struck, and he was never really the same after that

You remembered her funeral, and the way he cried into your shoulder that night

You had to go through the pain of watching your dear friend loose himself, along with his eyesight

Supporting him in his time of need became your number one priority, but somewhere along the way, old feelings began to resurface

You pushed them down, deep down so you wouldn't make a fool of yourself or ruin your friendship

It took years until V would begin to see again what was right in front of him, he had been blinded by Rika for so long that he couldn’t see you

(im sorry those puns were just too good not to put in lol get it cause hes blind)

He felt guilty for his feelings, like he was betraying Rika, yet he couldn't stop himself from feeling like he did when he was a kid

Jumin, once again, was stuck between his best friend and his sister being love sick idiots, too stupid and scared to see the other one felt the same way

He’s so over it like just get married already

He decides to invite V over, fully determined to give him a talk and tell him to ask you out 

Then he will invite you over so you’ll be in the same place as V

Then, Jumin will politely excuse himself for a ‘phone call’ and give them some time alone

He begins his plan in the morning, making sure you would both be coming over for dinner, then he leaves for work

Unfortunately, a meeting he had at the end of the day ended up running super late, leaving you and V alone 

Plan was ruined he’s triggered

But, what he didn’t know, was that things were going along just fine between the two

You guys were sipping some wine and catching up and laughing and smiling like old times

V wanted to take a picture to capture the moment

You looked truly beautiful, framed by the night sky, cheeks flushed from the laughing and the alcohol, a smile on your face and a look in your eyes he hadn't seen, or at least hadn't recognized, since you were kids

He acted before he had the chance to stop himself, leaning forward and pressing a kiss that held in it the passion of years and years of love 

You melted into it, wrapping your arms around him and he felt like he couldn’t have brought you close enough 

He wanted all of you, everything he had missed out on in his lifetime of not making you his

Pulling apart, leaving you both breathless, forehead to forehead, he smiled down at you

“I’m sorry, I should have asked truth or dare first.”

jumins triggered lol

sorry if theres any mistakes im hella tired so i may have missed some in the proof read 

hope u liked it

[winwiniswinning]

Boyfriend! Johnny

So I haven’t posted any writing in a while oops

And I do have a scenario in the works (GOT7′s Jinyoung) but I’m having a brain freeze with it right now. Like I know what’s going to happen next but I don’t know how to put it into words. It’s complicated

I still wanted to post something so I’m gonna do these boyfriend! things maybe? I know a lot of writers do them but they’re fun to read 

I was originally gonna try something new, like a babysitter! series but idk how it’d work lol

And I also wanna write for other groups too but I don’t know what to. Like I have lots of ideas for scenarios but I’m not sure if they’ll work out

Lol I’m a mess

Anyways, I’m sure y’all are so done with my talk so lets get started

So you met Johnny through an exchange program

Your university had a sister university in South Korea and you decided to take study there for the year

One of the classes you decided to take was photography cause you thought it’d be interesting and fun to do. Like a bit more lighthearted compared to other classes

When you get to class, you’re honestly just really nervous cause you don’t know how to interact with Korean people. You know that they’re just the same as other people, just they speak Korean but you just dunno

So you seat yourself close to the back where you’ve got a nice view of the front of the room and you’re not too far in the back but you’re not in the front as well. WHY DON’T I JUST SAY IT’S IN THE MIDDLE

Nobody approaches you and you’re just too worried about messing up when you speak Korean so you just listen to people’s convos and try to understand what they’re talking about

Cause damn do they talk fast

And Johnny comes walking in and you can just automatically feel his presence

Like the girls start to giggle and whisper to each other and the guys all come to greet him with fist bumps and pats on the back. 

You just know he’s one of those guys that everyone loves

And he sits right next to you. You’re just shooketh like whatttttt

“Hey, I’m Johnny! Are you an exchange student here? I heard that we were getting some exchange students in this class that speak English.” 

“Um, I... yeah.” You say sort of defeated cause dang you were gonna reply really fluently in Korean but you just forgot every word you’d learned. 

“It’s fine, you can speak English with me if you’re more comfortable with that. I’m from America.” 

And from then on, you and Johnny sort of just always chatted together. It turned out you guys also have a few other classes together

You’re really happy that you got to know him cause he really helps you with your Korean when you have trouble remembering grammar rules and stuff

After a few months, you guys are really tight

Like #friendshipgoals

Everyone thinks y’all are dating cause you hang out a ton and Johnny likes to make fun of your height difference by resting his arm on your head or just casually slinging his arm on your shoulders

Honestly, you’ve kind of gotten a crush on Johnny. He’s so funny, cute, and nice to everyone that you totally understand why all the guys and girls talk about him

But you try to not think too much about your crush on him cause you’re positive that he only sees you as a super close friend, like #bros4life or something like that

After a long time, you really can’t stand your crush on Johnny anymore

I mean, damn, this dude is hot but innocent and all that... he’s like irresistible

So you’re about to blow from keeping your crush on him secret and you make the big mistake about ranting all about it to Doyoung

Who automatically tells everyone after you finish ranting

And everyone’s plotting how to get y’all together cause they know that Johnny also secretly has a thing for you

They’ve seen the way that he looks so much happier when he’s sitting next to you, or how he slings his arm around you so much more nowadays and laughs so hard when he teases you

And you’re just oblivious to Johnny’s subtle (like literally almost not there, he’s just upping the skinship level the smallest bit) flirting so they decide to give y’all a little helping hand. 

One day, Doyoung slyly puts a note on your desk in one of your classes that you guys shared together that says, Can you meet me on the track at 1? - Johnny

Doyoung even freaking copied Johnny’s handwriting perfectly

And then Jaehyun did the same to Johnny, by copying your handwriting.

So the two of you are both confused as heck cause you’re close friends so why would you guys bother to set up a time and place to meet when you always see each other?

But you both meet on the track at 1 and you’re like,

“So, you had something to tell me?”

“No... You’re the one who asked for me to come to the track.”

“What.”

“What.”

And all the guys were hiding behind a bush, watching you two but Yuta couldn’t take it so he legit jumps out of the bushes

Y’all shook

The guys are shook

Yuta is shook by himself

And by then everyone else is like, fuck it, these two are way too oblivious about each other’s feelings to confess

And in the end, the guys are all like “Y/N likes you Johnny!” and “Johnny likes you Y/N!” 

“NOW GET TOGETHER.”

And after realizing that you both have feelings for each other, you just sort of become a couple. 

Okay, that a super long intro... sorry ‘bout that

So your relationship with Johnny would be really fun

You guys would definitely do some crazy things that Johnny has always wanted to do

Like skydiving

Now that was one crazy adventure

He’d also love to run around in the rain with you

Just because it’s random and fun and exciting

After you guys play in the rain, he’ll run a hot bath with rose petals and rose oil and maybe some Epsom salt just for you

And you’ll always pull him into the bath with you because you feel bad cause you’re sure he’ll catch a cold if he waits outside on the couch with a flimsy little towel wrapped around his shoulders

And it’ll be a really chill bath time

You guys are totally find with seeing each other naked

Although it was slightly awkward the first time you guys did it

“Um.”

“Do you want to take off your clothes first and then get into the bath and then I’ll come in and take off my clothes or...”

“Um.”

But after a few times, it becomes natural for you two

Johnny loves asking you to scrub his back 

And he’ll massage your shoulders, your neck, and whatever other tense muscles

It’s just a loving pamper time between the both of you

I think Johnny would be pretty big about skinship

You guys were already casual with skinship when you were friends anyways so he would get straight to holding hands with you

Honestly, he beamed when you made the move to hold hands instead of him for the first time

Backhugs would be a thing with you

Because of your size difference, he loves backhugs so he can rest his head on top of yours and trace circles on your hips lightly

And you’ll just lean back into him

PDA doesn’t go that far, only holding hands, backhugs, and pecks on the cheeks

He loves running his hands over your collarbone or tapping on your collarbone. For some reason, it calms him down. 

When you guys are on the couch watching TV or YouTube, he loves to lie down on top of your legs

And you’ll run your fingers through his hair and give him some soothing face massages

You’ll rub circles in his temples and between his eyebrows

Johnny relaxes so much when he’s in your arms

It’s like you just suck all the stress out of him

And if you have a book with you, you’ll read it out loud to him

But even if you don’t, you’ll make up a story or talk about some moments from your past upon his request

If you guys are on the couch and you aren’t in the position mentioned above, then you’re probably cuddling. 

Johnny’s couch cuddles with you are usually spooning

He’ll start by gently wrapping his arms around you before totally flopping the both of you on your sides so you’re both in a really comfortable cuddling position

Maybe kiss your ear a bit (he loves to kiss your ear)

And whisper weird puns in your ear

Sometimes tickle fights start

Just saying, you always win

When you’re really stressed out or crying, Johnny peppers your face with light gentle kisses to make you laugh

He’ll just cup your face in his hands and kiss everywhere

As I said before, your PDA really only includes backhugs, cheek kisses, and hand holding but when you two are alone, Johnny tends to like making out with you 

He’ll start slowly and passionate, where you can really feel his love for you seeping out of his lips... lmao that sounds weird but you get it, right?

If you guys are feeling it, he’ll turn it up a notch and start getting a bit aggressive and fast, which can lead to a bit of.. well ya know (I’m still smol)

Johnny is definitely a very proud boyfriend and loves to show you off since you can come off as a little shy in certain situations

“Isn’t Y/N so great?”

“If you’re already this impressed then you’ll probably faint later cause she isn’t even showing you all that she’s got. My girl is a special one for sure!”

“Johnny, stop you’re embarrassing me.”

“You don’t need to feel embarrassed! You’re amazing.” 

Followed by him ruffling your hair

Whenever you start to doubt yourself, whether it’s about your looks, your capability to do things, or just yourself in general, Johnny is always right in your corner

“You know Y/N, you’re so headstrong and that’s one of the reasons I love you so much. You’re absolutely capable of doing whatever you set your mind on and you should never forget that. I don’t care what other people think about you, because they don’t know you the same as I do. I know that you have one of the biggest hearts in the world, and in my eyes, you’re more beautiful than any of those photo shopped pictures of models, actors, and singers. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and see yourself in the same light that I see you in. Because Y/N, you spread so much light where ever you go and to me, you’re an absolute blessing.”

Damn, those are the words that I honestly wanna tell everyone... And the words that I want to believe but my low self confidence is like, naaaaa

Okay I’m actually feeling so emotional now from writing that paragraph

I need to get back onto the road of happy fluffy things

Like Johnny getting jellyyyy

I’m gonna warn you, Johnny will do a 180 from his usual playful self when he’s jealous

He’ll act overprotective and you’ll notice that he makes his posture better to look taller. As if he needs to look taller, the guy is a freaking tree or something.

When he notices someone hitting on you, he’ll act casual about it for a bit, just to see if the person will understand that you’re not interested in them.

If they’re still trying to get your attention, Johnny will protectively slide his arm around your waist and pull you roughly against him. Sometimes to the point where you end up stumbling into his chest.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Y/N’s more interested in me than you.” 

And he’ll lowkey give them a death glare before stalking off with you

“Johnny, don’t be so mean!” *smack on his chest*

“They were trying to hit on you, I was just being a man!”

“Ugh, whatever.”

“You know I love you right?” *peck on cheek*

“Yesssss.” *hug*

When Johnny gets upset about something, he’ll tend to stick to himself and you’ll have to let him spend some alone time to think

You’ll know that he wants some comfort from you if he comes out of his room 

He’ll probably want you to hold his hands in yours and look him in the eye and say that everything is fine

And when the two of you get in a fight, Johnny will be a bit stubborn about saying sorry

So he might give you the cold shoulder for bit but he’ll end up running back to you with a bouquet of flowers and a handwritten letter (if it was a big argument) or he’ll buy you your favorite food/candy (if it was a smaller argument)

Johnny would be big on calling you pet names

Not stuff like honey, sweetie, or stuff

But things like my queen (he once said that you reigned over his heart so princess wasn’t right), baby girl, my love (more when he’s teasing you)

For example: “Hellooooo mah love” or “Hey y’all, look! It’s my love!” *runs to you with his arms flailing everywhere* “MY LOVE!” *you run away cause he’s a total embarrassment” 

But basically you guys have a total fluffy relationship and he’s the most supportive person ever. He genuinely loves you and is always reminding you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened in his life

Okay I gotta stop before I add Johnny on my could be bias list and make it even longer. 

Yes I have that sort of list

Cause I’m hopeless and can’t figure out which member is my bias

[wrino]

interstellar border control

Hi, anon! I’m sorry this is so late and if this isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you requested that prompt; I had a lot on my plate this week and I rarely had enough time to write/browse tumblr. I did, however, really enjoy writing this, so I made time for it (though in hindsight I probably should have just studied lol). Plus, although I originally meant to write a long drabble, this ended up being an actual full-length oneshot (that you can read on ao3 here). Thank you for the request <3

Oh, and I might have gone a little overboard with the worldbuilding for this. There’s a glossary of terms at the end for if you get lost.

Kei stares at the tiny yellow spaceship from the control room window. He makes out a few details, like the green Kando flag on the roof and the heavily-tinted windows, but not much else. The ship floats, suspended in space, like some sort of cosmic yellow teki on the black sands of Gamuro.

“Carriage Alfa-15328, you are approaching Yooru territory. Please state your party number and party leader’s name, affiliation, and intention,” he drones into the microphone.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, uh, traveling alone. Kando affiliation. Kuroo sent me to repair the nucleonic plasma splitter? Clearance code 3648,” the ship replies, voice echoing in the chamber through the station’s speakers. Kei verifies the numbers with the ones scribbled on his palm.

“Oh. Right. Come in.”

The ship slowly nears as the runway extends toward it. Yellow expands in Kei’s vision until the shape is as large as the palm he holds up to shield his eyes from the decidedly bright hue, and Alfa-15328 finally lands on the dock with a loud thud. Kei winces.

He didn’t think it was possible, but Yamaguchi’s bulky neon orange spacesuit and fluorescent pink toolbox shine even brighter than his garish vehicle. Light bounces off his tinted helmet as he walks toward the station. Kei looks around at his monochrome chamber and imagines the orange leaning against the black walls, the pink sitting by the gray nutriment conserver, the orange sleeping on his white too-short bed. It gives him a headache.

A sharp ring alerts him of Yamaguchi’s arrival at the door. The overhead monitor shows Kei a bright orange fishbowl peeking curiously at the security camera, so he presses a green button on his left. 

He’s still staring at the monitor when he hears a swish behind him. Heavy steps thump against the floor; Kei turns around when he counts three.

“Tsukishima Kei?”

“Hey,” Kei nods.

“Hi.”

Yamaguchi presses a button on his wrist, and Kei finds himself staring back at warm brown pools when they had just been an abyss of black space seconds before.

“Ah, you don’t need that,” Kei realizes out loud.

“Huh?” Yamaguchi’s voice is muffled by the spacesuit. His words scratch and thrash against the helmet’s material.

Kei taps his own temple twice. “The atmospheric conditions on this station are set to Yooru’s, and conditions on Yooru and Kando are pretty similar. Kuroo never wears a helmet when he goes here.”

Yamaguchi just gawks at him, or at least that’s what Kei assumes by the way his eyes widen. Kei can’t see his eyebrows, but he imagines Yamaguchi raising one anyway.

He sighs. “What could I possibly gain from tricking you into suffocating?”

“Money?”

Kei rolls his eyes. “I wish. Take off the helmet, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi laughs, doesn’t stop laughing until his helmet’s off, and Kei hears it unrestrained. Without the obstruction, Yamaguchi’s voice is gentle and mellifluous. He places the helmet delicately on the floor.

When Yamaguchi looks up, Kei hopes the gasp he hears from himself is absolutely internal.

Yamaguchi has entire galaxies on his cheeks, on his nose, the tips of his ears. The spots on his face glow against his tan skin in soft old, completely unlike the noisy yellow parked outside the station. Kei’s grayscale room is suddenly bathed in the color. This random mechanic is a star and Kei’s own artifacts are the revolving planets in its solar system.

He wants to ask how Yamaguchi handles the light when all Kei himself has known is dark, murky Yooru and the tenebrific expanse of empty space. He wants to ask if Yamaguchi illuminates every room he enters. He wants to ask if the spots emit heat as they do light, if Yamaguchi’s skin feels thousands upon thousands of pinpricks of fire. If Kei runs his thumb across Yamaguchi’s cheek, will he burn?

“Wow. You’re really tall.”

And the moment is over. Kei blinks twelve times in rapid succession, sees gold-black-gold-black behind his eyelids every split second. He struggles to take back his breath. Does Yamaguchi not notice the room’s brand new decorations?

“Right,” Kei croaks. “The splitter is over there, right behind that panel.” Yamaguchi nods. He walks toward the wall Kei points to and kneels so he faces the only patch of gray on black walls. He procures a screwdriver – an average silver, Kei is more than glad to note – and works to release the panel until it clangs to the floor. The angry sound almost drowns out Yamaguchi’s gasp.

“What? Is it that bad?” Kei’s mind immediately goes to exploding space stations and his long, limp body, forever suspended just beyond his home planet’s atmosphere.

“No, no,” Yamaguchi laughs, waving away Kei’s panic with each lilt. Every bounce of his shoulders makes the gold dance across the walls. “It’s just… this is a really nice model. Do you know who does Materials Procurement for your station?”

“Shouldn’t you know? You work for the company that made it.”

“Ah, I’m just an intern. I’m training to be an aerospace engineer, so I have a background in cisthoron machinery. So…” Yamaguchi trails off, gesturing vaguely to himself and at the plasma splitter: a thin glass cylinder wedged shallowly in the wall.

He takes a flashlight from the toolbox. Kei furrows a brow at that. He considers asking him why he doesn’t just shove his head in the wall and light the work area with the dots on his face, but restrains himself when Yamaguchi flicks the flashlight on. Kei kneels down beside him.

“That’s definitely a fracture. Just a hairline one, though,” Yamaguchi whispers, as if scared his own voice will completely shatter the very thing he’s trying to repair. He points at a thin blue line on the glass that Kei has to inch closer to see.

“Um. Cool?” He whispers back, warming at their proximity. When had they gotten so close?

“Cool,” Yamaguchi affirms, breath hot against Kei’s face before he pulls away. “We won’t have to totally change it.”

Kei loses track of how many things Yamaguchi pulls out of his toolbox then. Haphazardly spread out in front of them are four different-sized wrenches, two gluckans, an assortment of nuts and bolts, and other tools Kei only mildly recognizes from Kuroo’s routine trips – Kando instruments.

“Why do you need all that for a hairline fracture?”

“Well, cisthoron materials are a lot more complicated than typical Earthen or hassium-based particles,” Yamaguchi starts, sharpening the larger gluckan as he speaks. “With this particular splitter, for example, it would be much better for you long-term to engage the uranium-rutherfordium links embedded in the glass’s lattice to accelerate the self-healing process, but to do that you’d have to, um, re-polarize the multiphasic generator – that’s the tiny cloud thing in the middle – or else attempting anything else with the splitter is pretty moot.” Kei stares at him.

“What, you thought I was just going to glue the break shut?”

Yamaguchi smiles up at him, like he knows Kei thought exactly that. He beams brighter than the glow on his cheeks.

More yellow takes over the room when Yamaguchi takes the gloves off his spacesuit. The spots on his knuckle almost twinkle as Yamaguchi takes the gluckan he’d been sharpening and lightly traces a square on the plasma splitter. The square turns blue, and the area inside it evaporates into thin air. Gas oozes out of the cylinder through the hole.

When Kuroo comes over, Kei naps or reads a book as he pretends to listen to the mechanic rant endlessly about work or fawn over his boyfriend. But Kei watches Yamaguchi work until he finishes, and until the blue light of Yooru’s third moon looms over the station and douses them in blue. Yamaguchi’s spots take on a green tinge.

“Okay. I’m done, Tsukki.”

He stares at the greenish dot on the tip of Yamaguchi’s ear. If Kei moves the slightest bit to the left, the blue from the window is blocked and it becomes yellow again. He forgets to respond.

“Er, I can call you Tsukki, right? Tsukishima is too long, and Kuroo said –“

“I don’t mind,” he cuts him off. He doesn’t. Yamaguchi says the two syllables simply but secretly, like his most favorite song, like a symphony he wants to keep to himself forever.

Kei’s head spins remembering the melody. He really doesn’t mind.

“Everything checks out. The transdimensional conduit’s giving off a weird ‘I’m broken’ vibe, though,” Kuroo says from the bottom bunker, exactly thirty-one cycles since Kei’s splitter was fixed.

Kei himself sits cross-legged near the bunker’s overhead entrance, peering down at Kuroo after every chapter he finishes of the book open in front of him. “There’s no such thing as a transdimensional conduit.”

“Gotcha. Well, almost.”

Yooru’s third moon peeks into the station’s window. Kei’s reminded of gold-sometimes-green spots. If Yooru’s second moon had greeted Yamaguchi instead, would the dots be orange?

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Is it about Yamaguchi?”

Kei drops his book, heart thundering wildly in his chest. He looks down at Kuroo through the bunker’s entrance. “Excuse me?”

“Routine activity check,” Kuroo explains, screwing a panel shut. “Oikawa told me to examine your browser for ‘suspicious activity’. He was laughing, so I expected porn, but the hundred thousand Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kando, glow spots – you don’t have freckles on Yooru? – Wimble searches were pretty funny as well.”

“Oh my god.”

“I’d give you his number, but his internship ended about ten cycles ago. He’s an engineer at Metsua now.”

Kei blinks at that, almost too embarrassed to be properly impressed. Metsua was the pinnacle of aerospace engineering. Only the richest had Metsua hovers, could afford transport with Metsua spaceships, could buy Metsua anything. “Wow.”

“Yeah, wow. Too bad, too. We haven’t really found anyone else with cisthoric experience.”

No Yamaguchi ever again, then. Kei deflates. A pit the size of an ueshi finds a home in his heart. It cuts off his circulation, sends his insides into a frenzy he doesn’t understand and leaves his limbs limp and cold.

Kuroo somehow notices. “If it makes you feel any better, he has the biggest crush on you, too. Wouldn’t shut up about how cool you are and how nice the station smelled. You know he calls you Tsukki? It’s cute.”

The pit in his chest buries itself deeper.

“And no. I don’t know why his freckles glow.”

It is incredibly hard to fracture a nucleonic plasma splitter.

Kei realizes just that when he wipes the sweat off his face for the twelfth time that cycle. An array of sharp, heavy, and sharp and heavy tools lay in between him and the splitter, some marked with red chalk. Those marked lie to his left in a messy pile of metal and condensed plasma, while the only three left unmarked lie to his right in a neat line. A multi-spacial theraknife, a silver nanoparticle abrasant, and a stainless steel nail clipper – just to cover all his bases.

He picks up the theraknife and waves it slowly near the cylinder. Nothing happens. He rubs the abrasant against the glass. Nothing happens either, but the rubbing does make a squeaky grating sound that grinds on his ears. The fracture has to be noticeable, but not big enough that it looks intentional. It shouldn’t be either too near or too far from where the last crack was. The splitter shouldn’t actually break, lest Kei’s station explode with him in it.

It is decidedly difficult to even scratch a nucleonic plasma splitter, but Kei is determined, if only to see Yamaguchi again.

Kei picks up the nail clipper and taps the side of the splitter. There, at the very corner of the cylinder, appears a slight crack.

He runs to the control panel. His legs move faster than his brain can interpret his actions, and he calls Kuroo without thinking.

“Tsukishima? It’s late.”

“Hey. My splitter is fractured again.”

There’s shuffling on the other line. “What? Again? Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Kei replies, voice thick with fatigue. How long has he been awake?

A pause.

“Nucleonic plasma splitters are durable as fuck,” Kuroo says, finally.

“I know.”

Another pause.

“Did you break your splitter so we’d have to bring in Yamaguchi? From another company, in another planet, four hundred light-years away?”

“That’s a loaded question,” Kei replies, slowly.

“It’s a yes or no question.”

“Oh. Then yes.”

Kuroo groans, and Kei can only imagine the slapping sound he hears as an exasperated facepalm.

“Fuck you, Tsukishima.”

Kei hums. “So you can get it fixed?”

“If you don’t kiss him, I’ll kill you.”

Kei can’t say he doesn’t remember why he took this job. Being a Gatekeeper is thankless, but it pays glamorously – certainly much more than any work he could have done back on land. He’s almost never busy, given the fact that his side of Yooru is hardly a tourist spot, unlike the opposite side where Hinata is stationed. As a result, the only carriages he’s ever had to deal with so far were delivery ships, locals, and, of course, Kuroo. He passes the time by reading electronic books and using his exceptional Uninet connection to find obscure music from different planets.

His station’s only big enough for one person, though. Kei doesn’t ever regret being a Gatekeeper, but he’s a lot lonelier than he would ever care to admit.

“Can you pass me the pa – um, the green knife thing,” Yamaguchi says, holding out one hand while the other tinkered with the splitter.

“The paduin. I’ve seen Kuroo use it.” Kei sets the tool on Yamaguchi’s outstretched hand. Yamaguchi hums back at him.

Kei’s room is alight again, sixty cycles after it was last. His usually bland furniture seem as happy as Kei; gold kisses them over and over, even more so than last time.

“You know, splitter fractures are pretty uncommon. Like, really uncommon, actually. I know someone who’s kept his splitter perfect for years, and it wasn’t nearly as nice as this one, Tsukki.”

“Um,” is the only thing Kei can reply, lightheaded after hearing the nickname again.

“There. Done.” Yamaguchi wipes his hands on his suit before moving to put away his things. Kei helps him without beng asked to, picking up a bolt that had rolled away from them. It makes a clanging sound when he drops it in Yamaguchi’s toolbox.

They stand. Yamaguchi hesitates before walking towards the helmet on the corner table.

“Wait,” Kei says, before he can stop himself. Yamaguchi whips around to face him. “Wait.”

“Yeah?” Yamaguchi’s voice squeaks, and it is in it that Kei hears his own hope mirrored.

“Why do your spot – freckles, I mean – glow?”

“Oh, um,” Yamaguchi stammers, hands flying to his cheeks, as if he can hide them under his fingers. “Kando thing.”

Kei raises an eyebrow. “Kando thing?”

“People of pure Kando lineage usually have at least one spot on their body. Kuroo doesn’t have one because he’s half Vol, I think. But my friend Suga has one by his eye, and my mother has some on her cheeks. Not as much as me though,” he laughs softly. “I have them everywhere.”

Kei nods. He wants to ask so much more, but he’s deathly afraid he’ll never stop if he starts, like a dam will break and his confessions will come in tsunamis if he so much as makes a noise. Still, he wants to give Yamaguchi words he can keep in his pocket, even if they’re to be forgotten later, buried under the praise of more significant individuals.

“I think they’re interesting,” Kei says finally, his voice hoarse. He clears his throat.

“You can touch them,” Yamaguchi replies, almost immediately. And then, as though he catches himself: “I mean, only if you want to!”

“I want to.”

“Okay.” Yamaguchi gently takes Kei’s hands and guides them slowly toward his face, settling them on his cheeks. He keeps his hands over Kei’s as the latter runs his thumb across tan and gold – and red, because Yamaguchi’s blush is nothing less than violent.

It’s warm. The freckles themselves don’t emit any kind of heat, but Yamaguchi’s cheeks are on fire. Kei prefers it, especially because his own face feels just as warm.

“I broke the splitter,” Kei whispers. He doesn’t dare put away his hands. Neither does Yamaguchi.

“What? Why?”

“I wanted to see you again.”

Kei’s rarely ever this candid, but Yamaguchi’s flush encourages him. He keeps his eyes on Yamaguchi’s widened ones.

“I’ve thought about you every cycle since I met you.” He feels Yamaguchi suck in a breath, feels his head bob slightly up and down as he struggles to breathe.

“Is that… is that weird?” Kei asks, slight panic edging into his tone.

“No. No, no, no,” Yamaguchi shakes his head so vigorously the flashing gold makes Kei dizzy. “Not weird. Me, too, Tsukki. Me, too.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Great,” Yamaguchi beams. He squeezes the hands still on his cheeks.

Kei smiles back. The tips of his mouth reach out to find the last ounce of courage he has.

“So,” he starts.

“Kuroo said he’d kill me if I didn’t kiss you.”

GLOSSARY (in alphabetical order)

Alfa-15328 - the name of Yamaguchi’s ship. I made them use a variation of the NATO phonetic alphabet, so the ship’s name is actually A-15328.

carriage - more common term for “vehicle”

cisthoron - class of materials

cycle - an Earthen day

Kando - Kuroo and Yamaguchi’s home planet. It’s the most similar to Earth in terms of general content, but it has a lot less water and the colors are all different. Also what you call people from Kando.

Gamuro - a desert planet

gluckan - a common tool

Metsua - one of the biggest aerospace companies in the universe. Imagine SpaceX but in the future and actually in space. It’s on the planet Raghu.

multi-spacial theraknife - a common tool on Yooru. Basically like a swiss army knife but with more deadly lasers.

nucleonic plasma splitter - a component of most space vehicles. I don’t know what it does, but Yamaguchi probably does.

nutriment conserver - a refrigerator

paduin - a common tool on Kando

silver nanoparticle abrasant - like steel wool but with silver

teki - endemic to Gamuro, an insect that is as small as an Earthen ant (hence the simile)

transdimensional conduit - fictional thing Kuroo made up to fuck with Tsukki

ueshi - endemic to Yooru, an animal the size of an Earthen elephant (again, hence the simile)

Uninet - the Internet but in space

Vol - what you call people from Voluri

Wimble - Google but for space people

Yooru - Tsukishima’s home planet. It’s kind of dark and swamp-y and ugly. Sorry Tsukki.

[unfortunatelysirius]

Rant Time! w/ Katie

I’ll most likely be spending my entire night writing on requests and other stupid shit that I’d like to work on, but for now I’m about to give y'all another rant that’s completely unnecessary but something that helps even out the stress I’m currently experiencing.

I’m going to be seventeen in less than two months and I still haven’t went to get my permit. I have a paranoia of driving and it prevents me from having the motivation to read my state’s driving manual and to actually go and take the test. My mom thinks it’s stupid of me to think like that, but there’s like twenty car crashes a day—probably more. And that scares the hell out of me so I just keep putting it off.

In other news, my first day of senior year is August 10th and I am freaking the FUCK OUT. I signed up to take AP Biology, but now I’m starting to feel a tad nervous and regretful because hardly anyone ever passes that class due to the obnoxiously dimwitted teaching style of the teacher. I heard only one person passed the end-of-the-year exam out of ten last year. ONE—when there’s a solid chance of getting a 3-5 on the damn thing!

My schedule is decked out in college classes. I know I probably shouldn’t disclose my schedule, but I’m meant to be taking AP Biology—as aforementioned—College English, two dual credit classes from a local community college, (one’s a history class and the other one is a literature class) Pre-Calculus, Public Speaking, and Anatomy I. That’s for the first semester—I plan on taking College Algebra and a few more dual credit classes in the next semester, including the other classes that will last year-round.

So this means I have that to worry about AND getting into college AND learning to manage finances AND ALL THIS OTHER SHIT THAT ADULTS HAVE TO DO. Can I please just become the air or something, you know, nOT HUMAN? Maybe a dog, so I can depend on others for the rest of my live.

I plan on going to a college with a work-study program. They don’t allow students to live off-campus or have cars, so that’s a win-win for me! My other choice of college is one that’s really pretentious and expensive but is known for having outstanding education. I’m not shooting for Harvard or Yale because I’m an incredibly average person. Sucks to be unremarkable, I know, but meh.

Anyway, to continue on with my rant, I want to talk about rich people. I have nothing against you all that have been blessed with money from birth—I’m merely upset with the fact that I get no recognition for my accomplishments just because I’m not privileged. Guess what, y'all—they got me excited at the end of last semester by announcing a new round of AP classes, but literally all of them were for the freaking juniors. Two of the kids in that class were teacher’s pets, and since my own mother works down at the school with both of their mothers, it didn’t take a genius to deduce what sort of Inside shenanigans were going on.

Get this—they legit called all of us that signed up for AP Language to go back down and change out our schedules. Like, what the fuck?

I had a dream the other day where I moved schools and fell in love with some dude that was also transferring. Best dream of my life, I’ll tell you that.

Anyway… again… It just feels like to me that school only ever tries to please privileged kids with parents that are doctors, teachers (specifically ones born into privileged families or related to the superintendent), attorneys, and accountants. No one wants to advocate for the middle-man, and that leads to all us poor kids being singled out. Whatever, though, right?

Sometimes I just feel like everything I do amounts to nothing. Is it wrong to feel that way? I look at my writing and think I’m worse than Stephanie Meyer. Apologies to Stephanie Meyer fans, but her writing WAS dedicated to those of young age and without a moral compass for controlling temperament found within men.

*clears throat* Ahem. Anyways…

I plan on going into a dual major of political science and history—or English, if worse comes to worse. I really don’t want to become rich because then I’ll be targeted and judged for the same things I loathe right now. However, my ambitions correlate with a need to prove my worth and do something great with my life, so whether or not I become what I hate, it doesn’t matter if I’ve managed to become a model for my relatives and former friends.

The best revenge is to succeed and be humble about it. I might be arrogant about my schoolwork, but that’s only towards friends and relatives when they believe that I don’t deserve to be successful in what I do. Then and there, I become arrogant. Even if I do not necessarily believe my own comments, I still say them to make others lay off me.

Returning to the thought at-hand, my college of choice is very liberal and hipster-esque, which suits my personal interests. Also, it's known for its study-abroad program, free internships, and its education, which are three things that matter dearly for me. I hope to get an internship at either the NAACP or the White House. Maybe even just a visit to see Mount Rushmore.

Teddy Roosevelt is my favorite president, and I know more things about him than I do my own father. Thank you, Borglum, for having Teddy recognized as one of the greatest presidents to have ever lived!

Seriously, though. He even left the legacy of having the highest percentage of voters when he ran as a third-party candidate just to spite Taft. Like, wow.

… I’m getting off track here.

Having anxiety fucking sucks. See, last year I had to a lot of these “roundtable discussions” in my AP U.S. History class, and I managed to make it through on all of them except for a few towards the end of the second semester. I even had one on my fucking birthday, which sucked majorly. They were a lot more difficult to manage than debates. I could handle debates; they didn’t involve having to force myself to speak up or face the consequences of a zero.

I loved APUSH—I really did—but now I feel like I’m an excuse for a history lover because I got a 4 on the APUSH exam. Not a 5—a 4. I have failed you, Teddy. (RIP, Bull Moose. Not even a bullet could have stopped you, but a failed test grade sure as hell stopped me lol.)

Anyways, if you haven’t noticed, I’m American. I’m also white—and according to this random ancestry website I found, I originate from Sweden and Italy. I guess that’s cool… but I don’t trust the internet so uh…

Back to stress! …That’s a good way to refer to going back to school. Just replace “hellhole” with “stress.” Basic synonyms, everyone!

I have bad friends. All of them are assholes and think I’m a bitch because I’m “skin and bones” and like to “flaunt it” just because I wear decently nice clothes. I know they’d be offended if I told them it’s because I feel uncomfortable not wearing something that makes me feel happy with myself. It’s not me thinking I look good—it’s a confidence-boost. Am I meant to be looking for a damned boyfriend just by wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a blouse? Is that how life works?

I remember in eighth grade I had this friend who told me I looked like a prep, and then she made me feel so bad about “trying to fit in” that I started wearing jeans and hoodies to school. It hurts to think about how much impact people’s words have over you—and half of time, it’s never a positive influence. For me, it’s never been positive.

Well, I’m sorry for burdening you all with this rant. I know it’s rather… long, but I just needed to get it off my chest. Keeps hurting when I see everyone else finishing up projects while I’m still sketching out the blueprints. I’ll get back to posting things tonight and tomorrow. I’m sorry I didn’t post anything today. It’s rather pitiful of me to put off things when I know you all are the only reason I can even stay motivated anymore.

Have a nice night, (or morning, depending on where you are) my darlings. 💕

[tiffstudies]

10 easy ways to get organised for 2017!

Hi everyone! Another year has gone by (too quickly if you ask me), and it’s time to make this one a better year than the last. I think this is my first massive text post about study and my personal tips so here goes!

Write down the things you wish to accomplish this year. This is so important to ensure that you don’t lose track and go on the wrong path throughout the year. Discover what YOU really want to have done this year, and that you will feel proud of at the end of the year when reflecting on 2017. Set goals for things that you can go “omg I can’t believe I actually did that this year, now I can do anything I set my mind to!” Even if it’s binge watching your favourite show I’m not complaining hehehe…

Get a goddamn 2017 planner or bullet journal OR BOTH! It is so so so very important to develop amazing organisational skills, especially whilst we are still studying in schools or university. It is up to you as to what method you want to use to attack everything the year throws at you. This year, I personally have opted for BOTH a 2017 planner and bullet journal. The bullet journal I use is this one, with the dotted pages inside. I cannot express how much I love my bullet journal. It is a great way to procrastinate doing work lol, but it makes you feel good when you step back and look at the spread you made for the week. Plus, showing it off to your friends doesn’t hurt ;) My bullet journal is also fantastic because in 2016, I only used half of it! So now I don’t have to go and buy a new one for 2017! And it will hold ALL of the stuff I had to do in my final two senior years of high school - what a memory :’) Now for the 2017 planner. I was very grateful to receive this 2017 planner for Christmas! IT. IS. HOLOGRAPHIC. LIKE WHAAAAAAAAT ?! It is so beautiful and unlike what the website shows you, it is actually a week to a double page spread. So I use this for any events I have on e.g. outings, driving lessons, important due dates, birthdays.  It allows me to plan ahead! Something that you can’t really do with bullet journals. So I highly recommend using both!!!

Get a 2017 wall planner!!! This is another great way to plan ahead with future events, and see it all laid out in front of you. Unfortunately I don’t have a link for this as I don’t purchase any wall planners since my tutor gives them to me (gotta love freebies). I ��recommend printing out these FREE monthly calendars (made by the kind Ariadne), as they have enough space for your basic events, but I still prefer 2017 as a whole year wall planner as I usually highlight my exam periods in a bright green highlighter, and usually exam periods do go across months. So all in all, its just easier to see :)

Try to start detaching yourself from social media. I know I know, you’re probably thinking “WTF TIFF I CAN’T GET RID OF ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS!! I LIVE AND BREATHE ON THEM!” That’s even more reason to get rid of it!!! I am the kind of person who is DEFINITELY attached to the ‘going-ons’ of the world and more importantly - my social circle. Last year during my first assessment period for my last year of schooling, I made the decision to delete my snapchat account and temporarily disable my instagram account. It was such a good decision. I was able to focus more and not get distracted as easily, and based on all the results I have received thus far, it was worth it. I am slowly learning that I don’t need to snapchat everyone about what I am currently doing, and that I need to learn to live in the moment more instead of just being on my phone. For the past half a year (?) I have also turned off all notifications for my social media (except tumblr of course haha) so that I only go on the apps/sites when I absolutely NEED to. No notifications allows me to focus more on the task at hand. So no, you don’t need to stop using social media ENTIRELY, because I know that I can’t. Just try becoming less reliant upon it. Unfollow people who are unhealthy role models to you. Delete irrelevant photos and posts. It feels so good - trust me. If all else fails, try use a blocker for social media/sites you visit often! I don’t use one, but here is one that I found on google.

Download this bomb ass Google Chrome extension. If you have not heard of ‘Momentum’ yet, are are not using it, drop everything and download it right now. Firstly, the background photographs are just breathtaking and make me (and hopefully you) feel so happy. Secondly, you can type up all the tasks you have to do. So that’s one point to organisation! Thirdly, it has really nice quotes daily which may inspire you to do something great, or y’know… to use in your bullet journal spread ;) Finally, IT IS AESTHETIC AS HECK OK SHOW OFF YOUR LAPTOP TO YOUR FRIENDS they will be all ooOOoOOOOOO

Drink lots of water. It is a fact. We are made of water. Our brains require water. No water? Brain doesn’t work properly. That ain’t good for our studying!!!  Please always bring water with you everywhere you go. If you are one of those people who are conscious of peeing lots, please don’t be! It is a healthy sign that toxins are being flushed out of your body. Water can also help keep your skin looking bright and clear, and not dull and dead from the lack of sleep we get from late night studying.

Reflect daily. Reflecting upon each day is really important and encourages mindful thinking. We often do so many things without thinking and appreciating it. So to help me with this, in 2016 I invested in two beautiful journals by kikki-k. I got this ‘The Highlight Of My Day’ book (which I don’t think is sold anymore sorry!). I also bought this ‘A Sentence A Day’ journal from their minimalistic range (this is also not sold anymore, but I’ve linked an alternative from their current range). They run over the span of 3 years, and I think it’s really cute how I get to see what I was thinking/doing the previous year!

Find some good tunes to get you in the mood for studying. I find that I really really really need music to get me pumping and in the right mindset to smash through all the work set out for me. If you want to find out what music I’m into, feel free to follow my spotify here.

Surround yourself with positive people. By doing so, you’ll be creating a positive environment for yourself, putting you in the right mood and mindset to carry on with your studies.  It took me 3-4 of my high school years to finally find where I fit in, and surround myself with people who are supportive of me. I admit that my friend group has changed from 15 people to around 3 (incl. me). But things happen, and it was just a process of each of us finding our way and to what groups we truly belong to.  The two best friends I primarily hang out with at school I also study with, and we support each other with our problems when we rant or math problems! In addition to these two people, there are another two best friends I hang out with and talk to often, but we don’t sit with each other at school. And then there are a few 5 other people I talk to with other issues.  I know it took a while, but I am truly content with the relationships I have.

Try your hardest. This is the most important of all. In our schooling years, there is inevitably pressure from peers and family as to what we have to achieve. This can have negative impacts upon mental health, and that obviously isn’t good for our studies.  So PLEASE listen to me when I say that it is okay if you don’t achieve what you set out to do, as long as you know that you’ve tried your hardest. We spend so much time proving ourselves to others by the things we do, it is important that we also prove how absolutely amazing individuals we are to ourselves - please don’t ever forget that.

Okay! I’m finally done! I hope that these tips + links + personal stories will inspire you all to do great things this year. Yes, there will be setbacks, but we are all very strong individuals who will pull ourselves together and try again. I wish you all the best for your studies this year! We can do this!

[kit757]

Nextdoor and all it's Glory

Heads up slightly political.....

So I posted this to Nextdoor and thought it was a pretty good rant and wanted to share. First some back story. Some one inquired as to why a restaurant didn't open that night. The answer was that their food and employees didn't show up. To me this means that they either A. Don't pay their employees enough to show up, or B. They did not pay the food people enough money to bring them food. But alas rural GA did not feel this way, oh no. The reason this happened, is of course because the government is paying people unemployment to sit at home.

The post that started it all.....

Susan- What happened to Bone Grill? Went there this evening Saturday 5/29 and there’s paper on the doors and parking lot empty ! It’s Memorial Day weekend

Karen- Sadly, businesses can’t survive when our government pays people more to stay at home than to work.

Other Karen- you got that right!!!

Me- With all due respect. That is 100% not true. You know the max unemployment in GA is $365 a week right? The min is $55 a week. No ones getting rich. People are just leaving the hospitality industry and going to other jobs that pay them more and they don’t have to deal with the general public who were awful to them during the pandemic. It has been proven, in multiple studies, that if you pay people a livable wage, you will get employees and still be a profitable restaurant. Sounds like this restaurant just needs to get with the times. It’s their own darn fault if they refuse to pay a livable wage that they can’t get people.

Karen the 3rd- Yeah but with the extra $300 from the pandemic it's $665 to stay home. Thankfully Kemp is putting an end to that.

Me-Dude the average cost of rent in GA is $1,500 a month with no utilities included. So if you are single and living on your own, sure $665 a week is a bare min in order to feed and house yourself. Now picture if this individual has a kid? Not enough money at all. So before you praise Kemp for taking away money that’s not even his, think about that kid that’s now going to be starving while you feel all high and mighty about taking away Federal funds.

Karen the 3rd- If your unemployed then you are getting food stamps. Too many places need employees. Work two jobs if you have to ( I do) not the tax payers responsibility to support all these people who would rather sit home and make over $600 a week.

Me- You don’t automatically get food stamps if you are on unemployment that’s 100% false. Also, why should you have to work 2 jobs? You shouldn’t have to! You should be able, in American, to work 1 job 40hrs a week and make enough money to live and thrive. This “work till you drop” mentality is killing people! This generation living right now is the first that is expected to have a shorter lifespan than the previous ones and it is linked to (well lack of health care but that a whole different rant) but literally having to work yourself to death to live.

Karen the 3rd and I then got into a life expectancy debate that she regrettably won. I was 100% sure I was right on it decreasing for millennials but alas could not find the data to go along with it.

Me-based on that data you are totally right! I miss quoted my facts and I’m sorry. I had heard it on the news and not done any further research and I am glad you proved me false. However, where I think that come from are some additional factual data that the American life expectancy is the lowest in almost all first world nations. It’s due to a lot of awful things but poverty and income inequality is a HUGE reason.

Karen the 3rd- posting research here that would indicate the decrease is due to drug addiction/suicide, not work. Also, despite these factors the life expectancy is significantly higher than prior generations.

Me-Well this says over working causes Suicide. So we can chicken and egg death or just agree it’s all messed up and there should be a solution. :)

Now on to our lovely John. Not quite a Karen but still has some wild posts on other threads.

John-No doubt life can be tough. I hate there are people who can’t live a good life. However, I always am curious as to how much money people think they need monthly? How does the average person want to handle and spend on monthly premiums for their healthcare? Do people think entry level jobs should provide a good lifestyle? What are people willing to sacrifice as they work entry level jobs.. in hopes of attaining a better job and future? Anything? My parents were poor and did not have a high school education. On Thursday nights.. they ate no supper. They saw that I ate Thursday supper. Why? Because my Dad was paid on Friday at the end of the day. They had no money for themselves by Thursday night. I detest a situation where children go without. I’m lucky my parents taught me the value of a $ and taught me to not live beyond my means. I hope everyone who wants to work and to improve their lot in life are successful. I have a tremendous amount of respect for people who work hard. Those who don’t work hard and expect the government to take care of them.. I don’t respect that CHOICE. To all the workers out there.. 🖖Live long and prosper.

And now for what I think is my mike drop moment!

Me-First I am so sorry your family had those struggles with you growing up. In a first world nation (or really anywhere in an ideal world) that should never happen. As for what the min income should be, models can be found online for each state documenting what that should look like. I don’t need to remake the wheel here. :) Some go as low as $33,000 up to $70,000 depending on the area. (GA min wage right now is at $15,080 a year at 40hrs a week) My point is we should strive to be better as a country! When did we start accepting the bare min standard of living with minimal pay and minimal social services? Why can’t we standardize a 40hr well paid work week as the standard? Think of what that would allow people to do and how that would change GA? People able to spend time with their kids and teach them=less crime. People able to take a break for mental and physical health= longer life and less healthcare costs. The benefits wouldn’t end there.

The human default isn’t to be lazy. And to default to that being everyone’s answer as to why we should cut off unemployment because people don’t want to work in crappy minimum wage service jobs is a disservice to humanity as a whole. People need to have some compassion for other humans, which has been sorely lacking in America recently.

Barry-Food wasn’t good last time we were there, haven’t been back...

You had forgotten how this all started, didn't you! lol

[ramblinganthropologist]

niji-iro-kiseki replied to your post “Episode 99 preview: It feels like Laura and Yume forgot something! Me...”

I totally agree with this, there was WAY too much focus on Venus ark. And then they literally replaced ako with kirara and I'm so upset about it I can't put it into words but I'm livid lol. Like she even got screwed over during the S4 selection when she couldn't get her grade up glitter. This season started out string and then it just kept slowly declining, really only focusing on yume and how everyone is in love with elza for some reason that I can't understand lol

I’m gonna put this under a cut because I’m about to go on a rant. I am so, so sorry but I got some problems with this season and series in general.

Definitely with you on the ‘wtf is Elza’s appeal?’ side. I mean, it could be that she’s very charismatic, and with her performances that makes her someone you want to follow. Problem is, we literally learn she is using an entire ship of teenage girls to get a dress. And they still follow her! I don’t know whether it’s out of loyalty or because they feel stupid over being tricked. Rei... Rei disappointed me. Out of all of them I expected her to be the one to actually turn. There’s a quote from Street Fighter that sums up what happened with Rei’s modeling and Elza’s entrance to me. 

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday.

It was huge for Rei, but this was probably just another step in Elza’s plan for the sun dress. I just... can’t understand it why she wouldn’t turn away. She can stand on her own clearly. It’s so frustrating as both a fan and a content creator. 

Ako has always, always gotten the butt. Maybe it’s because she’s the only AiStars? Season 2 could also be because her actor got cast in Love Live’s PDP but that’s really just starting out. But she just got screwed. Like Tsubasa before her, she got the shaft. And it’s so frustrating because she’s such a NEAT character that I actually hated at first. She grew on me. And I know she could have grown on others if Bandai had developed her properly. Now we’ll never know.  Also fuck that romance with Kira and Subaru and whatever I don’t care. I want standalone Ako development. She’s an interesting little tsundere but actors always get the shaft.

The season did start out strong. Finally, a rival. We see more of the AiStars world. We even had an antagonist like we haven’t seen before - cocky, knows she’s all that, and definitely not interested in palling around. She could have been great if we hadn’t gone to Venus Ark. The study abroad is where it all went wrong as we shift the focus away from the cast of 4 Star and to a bunch of minor characters/Elza’s crew that we never see again. We don’t get development for anyone who stayed at 4 Star. That means no Ako, but also no viable first years to take the Yume crew’s place when they graduate. We have no named first years. They barely get a mention. What about fresh idol contest or the autumn fair or any of that? It all gets brushed aside and those were some really interesting events. But because they focus on a group that isn’t Yume and the main cast, we don’t get them. And so, we have no replacements and wind up with Haruka-fucking-Luka as S4.

Also, S4. God, what a wasted opportunity. S4 did so much more when it was 25th gen. Hell, they performed BEFORE 26th gen in their own year! Maybe that was a way for the writers to pull back the curtain and show what little changes, but I doubt it highly. S4 just didn’t have the power it did in the year prior and that was so disappointing.

In short... yeah, there was a lot I didn’t like about these series. The study abroad arc pushed the focus to Yume’s main crew and shafted half of S4. We get no new idols, no interactions with 4 Start to make S4 mean something, and we basically focus on Elza and how she’s so friggin’ perfect. Yes, it was satisfying when Yume won, but everyone expected it. So... this season was honestly really boring to me. I’m not going to be sad it’s ending next week. Hopefully they can take what they messed up with this season and apply it to AiFriends so that we’re all stronger for it.

Also, unrelated, but the cancellation and no new first years means I’m basically doing whatever the hell I want fanfic wise. 27th gen S4 has an OC and I have no shame about it. I love my first year group so much... and hell one nearly punched Elza so that would’ve made for some interesting drama.