#sorry this is probably stating the obvious bc i feel like we all know this. but also sometimes you see really dumb takes on twitter from

[katya-goncharov]

it's so weird when racist people are like, showing diverse characters or people of colour in historical media is inaccurate. when if you read just about any older book ever there are generally plenty of them!

[thewitcheress2389]

Hello! If you feel like it, could you write something for Geralt x reader? Reader is touch starved and doesn't want to initiate affection, but Geralt catches on bc she relaxes when their shoulders brush or when he pats her shoulder. One day he's had enough of her being so uptight, so he holds her and she just goes boneless with relief.

I relate to this so much Anon, putting my own feelings in this one❤️😂 Hope you enjoy! Sorry if it's jumbled, I was in a state when I wrote this XD

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Witcher's Senses

You forget that a witcher has enhanced senses. Funny enough, Geralt doesn't really need them to figure out your problem.

Most men don't understand, but witchers are even more ignorant. They don't have the need to be held, the need to be touched. Not like a woman like you needs. And you don't just mean "touched" because not all touch is good. Some touch is selfish, uncomfortable, and lacking all mannerisms of a proper gentleman.

No. You want touch to be gentle, full of love.

Geralt was the only man that you could share this with-without his knowledge. Witchers weren't exactly ones for holding hands or exchanging hugs. The only affection they ever receive is from a one night stand that they paid for with their gold from a gruesome hunt. The closest you've ever been to Geralt with his knowledge is when you had to clean his wounds after a dicey encounter with a leshen or a werewolf.

But you needed more. You craved more from him.

"Y/N, can you tie up Roach." It was a command from Geralt, who wasn't looking at you as he handed you the leather reins. You eyed his hand, the way his fingers gently caressed the leather.

"Yeah." You said softly, reaching out to grab hold of the horse. And then, your fingers touched.

You lingered, lingered longer than expected. His skin was rough, but also very warm. You loved it, you loved the feeling that you haven't had in years. You didn't care that he was a witcher. He was still a man that had warm skin and a gentle aura about him. His touch made you relax. Softly, you began to smile to yourself.

"Y/N, Roach is getting anxious." Geralt's voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you realized that he had let go of the reins long ago, his touch gone. You blushed in embarrassment when he finally heard Roach pawing the ground.

Mumbling an apology, you led the mare to a nearby tree, Geralt's gaze following you the whole way.

He wasn't stupid.

Jaskier might call him uncaring, ignorant, and hardy but the witcher was actually quite the opposite. He had better sight, better hearing, and a better sense of smell than most men. But even with all that, he struggles to read people sometimes. You were shy, didn't say much to him, but your eyes held so much emotion. But you, you were more obvious than you probably wanted.

When you pretend to trip and bump into him, your heartrate softens.

When he pats your shoulder after a fearful encounter, your muscles relax.

When you grab something from him and your fingers touch, your eyes glow and you smile to yourself.

You longed for touch. You needed it, but you didn't want anyone to know that. You were scared to initiate contact, which Geralt sensed when you were just around him. Your quick breathing, nervousness, and raised heartrate. You were uneasy because you lacked the touch you craved, that only he seemed to be able to give you.

Now with the knowledge he had, Geralt was confused. Why did you seek him out?

He was a witcher, covered in scars and years of abuse. He didn't know what a soft touch felt like unless he paid for it. Geralt didn't know how to give you what you wanted, however, you seemed to know. You were pretty, so it shouldn't be hard for him. Despite all the negative things that Jaskier has said about him, he always has mentioned that Geralt has more of a heart than most witchers.

Perhaps Geralt just needs to find that heart and give it to you.

So, one night, he did.

You guys were sitting by the fire, Roach was grazing nearby, and Geralt just got done putting things away. He then moved to sit next to you. Close to you. Immediately, his senses picked up your beating heart and nervous sweat. You weren't the only one nervous. Geralt was too. However, he cared about you, he knew what you needed and how he could give it.

The witcher scooted closer and placed an arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

"Geralt?" Your voice was small, face extremely red. The witcher, however, was calm as he rubbed his calloused hand over your shoulder to soothe you.

"Shh...just relax." Geralt said and you did. It was like you melted at his warm touch. Every organ in your body immediately calmed down; your heartrate slowed, breathing slowed, and everything else just relaxed. You sighed pleasantly, finding yourself moving closer to him out of impulse.

"Why are you doing this?" You couldn't stop yourself from asking him, the warmth from both him and the fire easing you. The fire light flickered in his cat-like eyes as he swallowed nervously.

"Because I needed it. I needed your touch." He told you, smiling a bit. Relief seemed to fill in your eyes as you took in his words. Every time that you were afraid to initiate any form of contact was just your nerves getting the best of you. Geralt said he needed you, just like you needed him. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder.

However, Geralt said that to ease you, or that's what he thought.

But he found himself relaxing at your touch as well.

[mybrainproblems]

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[anonzentimes]

hiya zen ! i'm sorry if this has been asked before but it just seemed like such a fun concept to explore.

on to the question, which of the seven deadly sins do you think fits nagito best ? honestly, he's so complex and putting him into a small box is already difficult enough as it is, but combined with the fact that... pretty much none of them are accurate to his character, it's pretty difficult to tell.

i've seen people (on r/danganronpa, so not too surprising) say he's wrath, which feels ,,, iffy to me. that doesn't feel like it fits him at all. his desire of wanting the very best for others seems to contrast with wrath. honestly, willing to bet those people just went "oh evil person who does bad things bc it's fun ok must be wrath then".

one i have mixed feelings about is envy, which... fits hajime better than nagito imo. sure, his entire worldview is kind of based around talent, but it doesn't feel like jealousy to me. the core of his character is that: due to trauma and the talent-obsessed society around him, he starts to hate himself... and instead of trying to desperately give everything away to change that like hajime , he just... accepts it. he accepts it as a part of himself, or hell, as the entirety of himself, as if that was all there was to him. hell, he even states *twice* that he doesn't envy the ultimates. once in the beginning of chapter 2 during his monologue, where he states that:

"Ah, just so you know, what I feel is different from admiration."

"Admiration is... wishing you could be like the object of your admiration."

"But, what I feel is more... pure. More like a selfless love that wants nothing in return."

And, once at... the beginning of the OVA i think ??? it's been a long time since i rewatched it so I don't really remember but he says something about how... the star of the show is such a demanding role, and how he'd rather remain as he is or something ???

pride is crossed off for obvious reasons LMFAO.

greed isn't accurate to him either. his only motivations are for others, not for himself. and even then, he wishes for an " absolute hope that can overcome any despair " . he doesn't even wish for an material possessions, if that makes sense. can hope be found through those material possessions ? i mean , probably. but like... what he wishes for is.. not only selfless , but also... so abstract ? i don't think he'd be a big fan of the idea that you could achieve pure hope through something material. he views it as absolute good, an absolute good like that would usually be found in other things than just something so limiting as material possessions. I'm pretty unsure about this part though.

lust is... eh. lust is almost always interpreted in a sexual sense, but it can also work in other contexts, though i'm not sure what definition would be in that case. i guess he's lustful for wanting the best for people LOL ??? that sounds so weird.

the people who say nagito is horny all the time would argue nagito is lustful in the sexual sense, and i mean , maybe but not really ? we know he compares hope to sex in one of the songs written by megumi ogata (which i'll consider canon), but he we also know that he absolutely isn't a sex freak by any means and in the games and anime, is actually pretty chaste. he also views sex as something intimate to share with a person he loves. something to share with a person who loves him enough to be intimate with him as well, and pretty much just... mutual expression of trust and intimacy ? i'd interpret lust to be like.. sex obsessed, pretty much. which, of course, kind of contradicts nagito.

anyway, i briefly considered sloth for him, in the sense that he doesn't want to put in effort to achieve something great for himself. it's all for others. he's never going to put in effort for something if it is self-serving, and... even though he ends up significantly influencing other people's lives, he plays a much more passive role in his own life if that makes any sense ????? oh, and it could also be telling of his luck in a way, in the sense that he's kind of... bound to it and can't escape it ? i have no idea 😭 to be honest, this one is atleast slightly understandable, unlike all the others which are just blatantly inaccurate to his character LMFAO.

i don't know, those are just my thoughts. what do you think ?

I just need you to know what I was giggling and kicking my feet over how much of a Nagito understander you are,,, this is such an interesting question it absolutely has not been asked before!!!

That being said, I’m honestly on the same page as you are. I’m a little stumped since none of them really describe Nagito properly? Sloth is the closest one that you could twist into a way of it fitting him, but otherwise most of the others are blatantly inaccurate to important aspects of his character??? I know that isn’t really helpful, but man is it hard to assign him one when he’s so unique. Nagito and Hajime are different sides of the same coin, and I don’t think Nagito’s selfless love, “envy,” or “admiration,” fits into any of the boxes that are provided. The end result feels like he doesn’t fit any of them, but the goal here is to assign him at least one of them right? So I guess Sloth in this situation is the best option, supposedly reflecting specific aspects of him and how he basically never does anything self serving. I mean, at the end of the day I’d like to have slightly understandable over blatant mischaracterization LMAO. So yeah, I think I would agree with Sloth over the others.

Thank you for your ask, this was so interesting to think about!! It made me so happy to read how thoroughly you thought about this, and how much you understand his character <3

[glamaphonic]

Hey :) Had to say something because I appreciated your posts about the trajectory of Rick and Michonne’s feelings for each other so much. Especially Rick’s, because I think we are pretty much all in agreement that Michonne did not recognize it until the couch. The timing on Rick’s part has always been more the question mark. And ever since the I was in love with my son’s best friend line, I’ve seen so many people say that Rick knew since the prison (/even since the moment they met). And like… no. Lol. Was there an instantaneous connection and *something* going on there? Yes, obviously. Was he falling in love with her all this time and was already head over heels by the time the couch happened? Again, yes. Did he *know* that though? No! We can argue about when exactly, some people will place it here, some place will place it there, but come on, it was definitely not before Alexandria. Like, that he knew-knew. And unless I’m completely misrembering right now, really, from the time they arrive in Alexandria to 5x16, we’re talking, maybe 2 weeks? And of course 6A is only 2-3 days. So we’d be arguing over a few days, really. I *think* for me, I’d say, by the end of season 5, Rick has reached a state of clearly there IS something going between us, or more acurately, from me towards her, but not quite being able to fully recognize; like, until then he knew that he cared (a lot!) for her and that she was indeed special to him but by then it’s almost him being no, but what IS this thing between us, if you will. And it’s not until a few days later, so after 6x09 and during the timejump that he can fully recognize it. Like, yeah, I’m in love with her, it’s so obvious it’s crazy that I’m only now reaching that conclusion.

And about your post about Michonne, you mention 3-4 people basically telling her she is already with Rick and I wondered if you could say who you meant? It’s been way too long since I’ve watched those old TWD seasons to remember. Sasha, obviously. You probably meant Deanna as well? But other than that, I’m coming up empty 😅

Sorry sorry for the message ending up being so long 🙈 Didn’t intend to. Lowkey ready to drop a dissertation on Richonne at all times, apparently 😂

I more or less agree with your timeline, but I also don't really mind whatever timelines people want to come up with. I mean, I think the only things we can really argue are firmly canonical are that a) Rick knew he was in love with her sometime before 6x10, and b) them on the couch was not something springing into being but rather the consummation of what had already long since existed between them but was only then actually being acknowledged. Everything else is up to interpretation imo because the show is so allergic to relationship conversations prior to people actually being in a relationship.

re: people telling Michonne she's already got something going on with Rick

Sasha and Deanna, yes. Spencer also tells Michonne she has a life in Alexandria. When she’s hiding outside at that stupid dinner party (bcs the writers were desperately hiding her from Rick lol) Abe also pushes her to stop holding back from life. And special shoutout to ole boy from Alexandria who got bit and was telling her about his post-apoc marriage. He didn’t realize he was telling Michonne about herself and her relationship with Rick, but that is literally the only reason that scene existed lol.

[hertwood]

Please elaborate on ttpd being a sargewood album 👀

hi thank u so much for caring abt the rot in my brain 💖

ok so. mayhaps i am talking out of my ass here, i havent rly fathomed the whole album yet, and there are songs i associate w/ a variety of ships/fic ideas. BUT more songs fic sargewood than any other ship so. allow me to explain.

this is all speculative to taylor swift’s life so its not #confirmed but allegedly this album is abt leaving long term relationship she felt trapped in (joe), and then rebounding in a short term fling (matty). if we look at these songs through the lens of joe=f1 and matty=indycar, therefore kyle, this is how i fathom these songs in a sargewood way.

OBVIOUSLY this does not work for many of the songs, but for the ones it does it is so compelling. also she broke up with matty anyway and he allegedly SUCKS so i’m only rly considering “early relationship” songs here.

Fresh out the slammer is probably the best example: leaving a relationship and immediately knowing where you’re going next. if logan doesn’t have a future in f1, indycar /is/ the place to go, and kyle is his connection. if he gets dropped, you KNOW kyle is one of the first people he’s calling 

Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

NEXT SONG lets talk Florida!!! the original song I claimed as sargewood for obvious reasons!! ofc, its great bc Florida is there home state. But if we can go back to joe and matty for one second (i’m sorry)

In So Long, London, London not only represents the place, but also Joe and their relationship. I did not come up with this, but I saw people on tiktok saying that while joe=london, matty=florida. the entire song is abt being trapped monotony of her old life (london/joe) and escaping to the new exciting florida(matty).

this fits logan just as florida proper—he can always go home and relax to take a break from the stress of f1. BUT if u wanna see it in a sargewood way--they can both escape their stressful racing lives, come back to florida, to EACHOTHER. this song makes me insane abt them fr. I also like to hear “fuck me up, florida” as “fuck me in florida” AND YOU CAN TOO

I need to forget, so take me to Florida I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida What a crash, what a rush, fuck me in Florida

LAST SONG i’m using for this thesis, but i’m not ruling out fathoming more as sargewood through the joe=f1 matty=indy/kyle lens. it’s a long ass album, i’m employed, i can only do so much

BUT LETS TALK FORTNIGHT

this fathoming was key to me liking this song. HOWEVER while the last two can be fathomed as sargewood in general, fortnight fits a specific fic idea i have where i need to explain some lore first.

logirlie historians will know how after the 2020 f3 season, logan was in a sort of a limbo career wise before he got the call from williams and we know where it goes from there. in this time he was testing for indy, thinking his european racing career was basically over.

so the fic idea. kyle & logan have always had a bit of a ~non platonic connection~ but neither has acted on it due to the distance etc etc. but in this short period of time (a fortnight, perhaps 👀), when its looking like logan might be heading to indycar, the dam breaks and they have a short fling that is more serious than either will admit after, when it ends when logan goes back to f3.

The ACTUAL fic would be years later, where logan leaves f1 and goes to indycar in 2025(?). years have passed, and they've stayed friends this whole time so it /should/ be fine, but now that the distance is no longer an issue all those old feelings come bubbling right up to the surface. they could, of course, just communicate and get together easy peasy but that wouldn't be a fun fic would it? of COURSE it'd be messy.

I haven't written anything, it's more of just a nebulous concept rn and idk if it'll ever go anywhere but it is ALL i think abt when listening to fortnight. The florida and car reference in the bridge is just the cherry on top

And for a fortnight there, we were forever (Back in 2020/2021, what we had was real)

Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather (We talk sometimes (2021-2024) like it's normal and nothing happened)

Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors (Now (2025) we see each other all the time and pretend it's all platonic)

I love you, it's ruining my life (My career would be so less complicated if you weren't in it)

Move to Florida, buy the car you want But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me

[rainyday-deer]

iirc Arackniss and Angel have a strained relationship, do you think reconciliation is possible/how'd you think it could happen?

Oh you're not gonna like this answer but probably not for the reasons you think. NOW keep in mind this is all very old information, BUT given the fact that Angel and Niss's relationship being a negative one has been a constant since Angel's conception (and I say this bc he was created almost a full year after Arackniss was) that I do think that at least the vibe may remain in place. Read more bc this gets LONG sorry lmao

They DO have a strained relationship, Viv has stated that "Arackniss probably does genuinely hate his siblings" on stream during the pilot's production. It's NOT just Angel, at least in this point in time, and he does hate Molly as well-- Though their relationship being strained is less of a pressing issue bc we all know where Molly is.

NOW the most important thing that comes down to it is WHY is their relationship strained? Modern fandom for the series would tell you that Niss is Homophobic, but that's never actually been implied OR stated anywhere to the best of my knowledge AND in old lore it's made pretty obvious that Niss's disdain for his brother is Angel's fault.

Old art of the two tells us two things: Angel bullied Niss as children, and generally he takes some smug pride in knowing that he pisses his brother off.

(Aforementioned Angel and Niss as children. Side note: YES Angel's human name is Anthony now, but almost 10 years ago it was Martin, and Niss was Jonathan.)

It's also highly implied that Angel was (at least indirectly) responsible for Arackniss's death (to the best of my knowledge), and once upon a time Arackniss was the one to kill Angel.

While I haven't been able to really FIND the reasons why Niss killed him, I've seen a LOT of different answers to that question, the fact remains that he hated him enough to do it himself, and continued to hate him well after they both died.

Now, all of this is to say that once upon a time, Niss had a pretty damn good reason for hating Angel. He made his life miserable, and presumably did the same in the after life. I'd like to believe that Arackniss's reason for hating Angel NOW, in the canon series, is also for a good reason, potentially for the same one. I'd certainly find it more interesting and less of a disservice to both of their characters than if Niss hated Angel bc (insert their Dad's opinion here) NOW, episode 2 in the series does give us a look at Angel being very jealous over the praise that Pentious is receiving; Whether or not that jealousy is actually justified is an important detail. Angel didn't even try, and became upset that he was being overshadowed despite not putting in any real effort and complaining all the while. I did get the impression that Angel was no stranger to feeling overshadowed, and may even feel like 'well there's no point in trying anyway' which could tie back into his relationship with his family. Of course it's a rough theory, but it does make sense if Angel was jealous of the praise and attention his capable older brother received. (Assuming this is the case, anyway, which I do think it is, knowing what we do about Arackniss.) I do think Angel's potential envy and jealousy could have strained their relationship, particularly as children. Maybe Angel lashed out at Niss often, and Niss decided very quickly to stop putting up with it, and it carried on throughout adulthood. Maybe Angel still got Niss indirectly killed. I do think that Niss's disdain for his siblings is, at least to him, justified for more than shallow reasons. The only way they could actually reconcile, in my opinion, is if Angel is the one to apologize and make an effort in understanding his brother... And even then it's REALLY hard to say if it would go over well. Arackniss has been described as 'sucking' by Viv and some things she's said kind of implies he's going to be a villain, or at least an antagonist, and he doesn't seem like the type to let a grudge go too easily. Their relationship could easily be a lesson for Angel in learning that sometimes apologizing isn't enough, and nobody is obligated to forgive you, and you have to move on with your life and leave things as they are, even if they suck.

Like I wouldn't be UPSET if they reconciled, I'd like that a lot! But depending on the severity of the reason for this hatred, it may or may not happen.

But uh, in my dreams the episode is basically the canned 'Spider Brothers' noir short; Niss needs Angel's help doing something, and while they fight the whole time, keeping one another from getting shot opens up a small doorway into them somewhat getting along again.

tldr; Depends. LMAO

[nevernightcitylights]

Gwynriel vs Elriel

Alright so I’ve been reluctant to post this bc some of y’all are wildin when it comes to defending your chosen ship. But I digress.

As an avid SJM reader, as we all are, I think one thing we can agree on is how f-ing good this woman is at hiding foreshadowing and choosing her words carefully to lead you away or toward certain plot lines

From my observations the only reason I feel personally (not saying it’s true or otherwise) that Elriel is less likely to be cannon is because of how obvious it is. Like azriel even stated in the bonus chapter (in a rather bratty way I may add) how can two of his brothers get two of the sisters and he not get the third? I don’t think SJM would have stated it so blatantly if it was… you know… gunna happen. I get the symmetry of it. But if it really was to be the case… why say it like that…

Also back to SJM and her sneaky ways of writing - and this wasn’t even all that sneaky I just don’t see a lot of people mentioning it and when they do they only mention one side of it - is these lil excerpts here

Elain and Azriel:

Gwyn and Azriel:

Do you see it?

Azriels shadows are literally repelled by Elain and just the sound of her breath whereas they reached for gwyns.

I don’t think Elriel is endgame sorry to say (mainly because a lot of y’all are v passionate about it and I’m afraid I might get cursed for saying it) I do think sjm worded it this way for a reason as she does many things. I couldn’t stop thinking about this comparison for aaaages BECAUSE it was such a distinct contrast.

I do wanna say the fact that both Elain and Gwyn were in the chapter with such contrasting interactions makes it clear they’ll both have a big part to play in his book. What parts those will be is only knows to the author herself. Unfortunately I do think that yes, it will be another mate story and since we know his mate is not Elain… yeah. And I knooooowwww so many of you don’t want that, which is probably whyyyy you want Elriel to be together so badly bc it’d be a chosen love story, but… mate stories are literally all sjm writes. Even crescent city Bryce and hunt call each other mates like- (but will be get a curve ball now that Bryce is you know where and sjm is also notorious for switching up the love interests? A much better debate imo)

[c0dmic]

Regina and Leopolds Marriage

I don't know what to start with so Ima jump straight into it. I saw a post a while ago made from.. well years ago, stating that Regina was a grown woman.. Let me say this, OLDER ACTRESSES PLAY TEENS ALL THE TIME, (Nbr). For all we know Regina is 18 at the time when Leopold proposed. Some people say that if she was 19-25 (she was actually 18 during 'Stable Boy') it would not be weird. Yes, it would. Leopold was literally Regina's Father's age, if not, older. It would still be very weird for an 18 and 50-60+ year old to be married.

Some people say, "this takes place a several decades ago, it would be normal-" It doesn't make it right! Just because it takes place decades and go and it would be considered normal, it doesn't make it right. 

(just for example):

A 18-year-old in the times when arranged and forced marriage was normal, was forced to marry a 50-year-old man. Some would say, "That was normal then for 18 and she was old enough, it doesn't make it weird," ... what. I hope you see how stupid and ridiculous that sounds. Even if it was okay a long time ago, that doesn't make it okay. And again, it's still fucking weird.

Now back onto the marriage. "Regina didn't say no-" Stfu. The look on her face when Leopold kneels down and proposes is very obvious. Regina would have probably screamed out loud saying no if she could. But she didn't because her mom was nearby, and she didn't want to fuck up her already fucked up relationship with her mom by ruining her mother's advantage by saying no to the royals and she was in shock.

Now onto the rape topic. I keep reading that 'Leopold Raped Regina' , and I personally don't have a opinon on that because it was not stated and I don't want to get any backlash lol. But the most thing I believe about their marriage was the Regina was neglected and (ofc) forced to marry him.

For Leopold, he only listened to Regina's mothers 'yes' and not Regina's. And if he couldn't see the absolute shock and fear on Regina's face, idk what he saw there. If I proposed to someone (my own age bc I'm not weird) and I saw that look that Regina had on her face, I would get off the floor taking her physical and mental 'no' and 'wtf' for an answer and say sorry and leave. But Leopold didn't do that and when ONLY Regina's mother approved, he went along with it. And Regina's mother just handed Regina to Leopold probably knowing that Marital Rape could happen (ik it probably didn't, but I was just saying that what if it did and Cora just handed Regina over to that knowing that it could've be common at the time.).

Now, Leopold reading Regina's diary is disruptive of her privacy. And Regina put all those fake stuff in it and Leopold reads it. Regina is the type to always plan things out (evil or not), so she knew that Leopold would read her diary because he (probably) did it all the time. Even if she used the method of, making her diary out in the open to her father, thinking that her father would hand it over to Leopold. Or the other method of, putting it out in the open for Leopold to see, but if i was him, I still wouldn't touch the diary.

Leopold, in a scene specially states that "I know Regina is unhappy" and Leopold never does anything about it. Then he proceeds to say, "And yet I never imagined she would betray me like this," What?? Like, after being married with her KNOWING that she was unhappy and (most likely) never loved you, and you are betrayed?? Excuse me?

Then later on, he asked the Genie to "find the man who took his wife's heart". Genie asks "What are you going to do when you find him?". Then Leopold replies with, "Nothing you can be concerned with". So your saying you knew she was unhappy and feeling unloved and NEVER loved you and then your going to, what? Possibly murder? Shame? The person who might have given her hope in this terrible neglective unloving marriage?!

Not only that but him KNOWINGLY marries the woman he almost married (technically dated still engaged)'s daughter, KNOWINGLY. Adam Horowitz had also confirmed that Leopold REMEMBERED Cora. He remembered the woman he almost MARRIED.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

every time I read about shitty landlords and read all the bullshit comments defending landlords for never going for social housing tenants I get so fucking angry. which, for a reminder to everyone: you are only ever one two pay day/s or paycheck/s away from homelessness or some other major life altering change for the worst... meaning you'll be next in line on the 10 year waiting list for social housing in my state of australia, new south wales.

because yeah, dgmw- a select few may or do leave properties in significant disrepair or completely ruin them.... I've seen the damage both on TV.... and through my cadetship in social housing last year. also heard about damage through that program, too, from both the workers where I was and the other people in the program etc etc. because for many people, esp if they've been long-term homeless for an extended period of time, they may not know how to live in a home or actively feel safe in a home and other things. it was our job, where i was working, to connect them with services to sustain their tenancies and help them live better lives.

but over the last year working in social housing, I learnt to hate landlords, even more than i already did previously. most especially the horrendous type of landlord that thinks they can just walk into their tenants' property at will, any time they want..... for idek.... just to "check they're stacking their plates right in MY cupboards. all day. every day. ".... or the like, which is a statement that was sneered down the phone..... not even considering time for ANY notice of inspection or entry.... entirely ignoring the tenants' privacy and "right to quiet enjoyment" which is stated in new south wales tenancy law and tenancy agreements.

we had to frequently remind these types of assholes that they could NOT enter the property without permission from the tenant (eg for repairs) or also us (inspections, repairs etc); or without express notice to the tenant, from themselves; or the real estate (repairs and inspections.... again sometimes in partnership with us). or also, in an emergency situation, they could enter the property for obvious reasons.

EVERYONE has EVERY fucking right to fucking hate landlords... and MOST ESPECIALLY when quite a few of them want to play with peoples lives like they're disposable toys. just invade privacy whenever they fucking want for funsies.... all bc apparently "oh no. MY PROPERTY may be damaged from this tenant not stacking plates to MY standard of presentation!!!!!! let me just enter their house- no. sorry. MY house - while they're at work, without asking them.... and then tell them some time later down the track. checkmate." and other bizarre utter bullshit excuses these assholes had.... and that i've also seen on my area's uni buy and sell page, when people have posted about their nightmare landlords over the years; looking for legal advice.

just. i fucking hate landlords. and tbh, I'm so glad I left that job. it was Too Much™️ dealing with these asshole landlords and their fucked up mind game ass questions and the mind games they wanted to play with their tenants and US.... always trying to tell any of the workers that I transferred them to on the phone, that "i'll ALWAYS know more about tenancy than YOU. because i've been a landlord for 30 years. what do YOU know???" no. the fuck. you do NOT know about MODERN tenancies, vernon or madeira. you need a real fucking job..... instead of thinking it's fun to have an express avenue to snoop into peoples lives in your free time. maybe brush up on CURRENT tenancy law, and don't pull the weird shit that you were pulling back in the 90s.... which was probably still fucked up borderline illegal or fully illegal landlord behaviour bullshit, in the 90s, anyway.

but hey. what the fuck do I know??? I was born in the mid-90s. more than likely, i will NEVER own a house of my own... or probably will never even move out of home... because of your bullshit gatekeeping of property: always raising rents and property prices.... and/or wasting actually useable and valuable living spaces for air bnbs and so-called "investment properties."

[mikelogan]

random situation time. one of your mutuals that you are pretty close to (let's say mutual A) hates one of your other mutuals you are also pretty close to (let's say mutual B). like, there's no beef between A and B, it's completely one sided. A thinks B is repulsive and awful and have them blocked. B knows they're blocked, but they barely know A, so they don't care. A never starts drama, just used to vaguepost sometimes about B when they were a follower.

go back to before A blocked B. you saw one of the vague posts A made about B. it's clearly mimicking B's op, even though it doesn't say any names, so it's obvious what it is about. B "knows" A, but doesn't follow A back, so they have no way to know about this unless they are told. do you tell B what A did? or do you just let it be? are you annoyed by what A is doing? remember you are close to both, but definitely closer to B.

sorry for the long ass text lmaoo. hope you're having a good saturday 💕

before i give my two cents, let me please express to you how much joy it brings me to get messages like this that basically just ask my opinion. i looooove having opinions 😂 and i'm having a good saturday despite it being a pretty bad pain day. i hope your day is going well, too!! 💙

let's break it down bc ya bitch likes lists and bullet points

Person A:

Hates Person B

Blocked Person B

Does not start drama with Person B

Vagueposted about Person B

Person B:

Knows they are blocked by Person A

Does not know Person A well

Doesn't care that Person A has them blocked

Wasn't following Person A pre-block

You:

Are mutuals with both Person A and Person B

Are close with both Person A and Person B

Are closer to Person B

Saw Person A mocking Person B before they blocked them

Firstly, I think there are a lot of variables in this situation that I don't have that would almost certainly inform my decision. Context can be everything. I would assume that Person A's reasons for despising Person B aren't over something that's that big of a deal because you still follow them both and are, in fact, closer to Person B than to Person A. So, it's not like Person B is like. A zionist or TERF or something along those lines. But for me, it does really depend on what about Person B that Person A has taken issue with.

Secondly, you say that Person A doesn't start drama with Person B, but that Person A has vagueposted about Person B in the past (again, I'm assuming they no longer do). While not directly engaging with Person B, I would argue that that very much is Person A starting drama. As someone observing this, it would definitely put a bad taste in my mouth towards Person A. Like, I'm 29. I spent years on this website engaging in drama and I have absolutely no interest in doing so anymore. I'm best friends with the block button. We paint each other's nails and do face masks together. It still depends on the situation and why Person A hates Person B so much and my personal feelings on the matter, but that could be something I would unfollow Person A over.

One other big factor that would affect my decision is how long ago this all transpired. Was this something that happened a year ago? A few months? Yesterday? Because there will always be a part of me that would want to tell Person B if I saw someone talking shit about them behind their back. I'd want someone to tell me if I was Person B. But if it's a situation where the dust has clearly settled and there haven't been vagueposts for a while, then let sleeping dogs lie. From what you stated, Person B doesn't really seem to care about Person A or whether or not Person A likes them. That's what pushes me more toward not telling Person B and just leaving the situation alone. I think if Person A was still actively vagueposting about Person B and this was a recent occurrence, I probably would tell Person B, but I don't have enough information to know for sure.

Regardless, I think that yes, Person A's actions would annoy me. It's just kind of a dick move to vaguepost, especially over trivial stuff. Obviously, I don't know if this is something trivial or if it's a legitimate grievance that Person A has, but with the information you've provided, I would probably say that I wouldn't tell Person B.

[yellowocaballero]

Excellent chapter amazing as always expect my usual nonsense in your inbox soon but also BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU 💜🎃💜

SORRY/THANKS/I GUESS? TW I'm about to talk about domestic and child abuse

But yeah I was kind of nervous about posting that one, because I chose not to say a lot of things explicitly. Marc's POV was utterly submerged in his warped thinking, and he was taking a very uncharitable view of Layla and the situation. Both him and Steven are completely unaware why they're doing the things they're doing, and Layla & Frenchie don't really know either, so everybody's lost and no explanations are given. Thankfully I think people mostly took home what I was saying.

Something you mentioned that was exactly on the money (as usual w/you) was the fact that this Marc isn't exactly the Marc that we are used to. He's not the host, he's come out specifically because Jake couldn't do it anymore, and he's helping Jake in a very specific way right now - basically Feeling The Feelings and having the trauma. Jake remembers the trauma but it's distant and removed for him, Steven doesn't have it - it's on Marc right now. And he is reacting to it in every way that Jake could not for six years (and every way Marc didn't let himself for his entire life). Jake's pinballing really hard between Marc "I Am Experiencing Five Different Trauma Reactions At Once Because I am Feeling Ten Different Traumas Viscerally" Spector and Steven "Whoops Can't Feel The Trauma Anymore, Telly Time" Grant. He's feeling everything, then when he can't handle that he feels nothing, then it builds up and he goes back to feeling everything, and...yeah, you get the picture. It's really bad. Like super not good. Very not good.

I also was really, really wondering if people would remark on this specifically, and people mentioned it a little - you mentioned hypervigilance, on the money again, and others definitely mentioned that he was going out of control from Holding The Sadness Ball - but I'm wondering how obvious this was for people that just really 90% of Marc's behavior in relation to Layla this chapter was really just because she was a woman.

It was really, really just because she was a woman in his house who said she was his wife. There was definitely a power imbalance too, and some other stuff, but for the most part it was "woman in my house who says she's my domestic partner". He has seen one marriage in his entire life (that I wrote as featuring domestic abuse because genuinely improbable that there wouldn't be, even if he & his father did not recognize it as such at the time), he's had one woman living in his home, he is SUPER hopped up on everything I just said about how everything is very close to the surface for him, and he is just blanket terrified of her for reasons he can't even identify. It's not like canon where he grows to love & trust her & all that good stuff. Just wake up and there's uhh a fucking lady in his house.

The reason why he has the violent meltdown is because he's doing that abused kid thing (Marc has some age stuff subtly happening in this chapter bc so much of the stuff he's going through so viscerally is from childhood) of testing boundaries and trying to provoke a reaction to see if he would be hit. That's really mostly it. He went postal & tried to provoke her into hitting him because her intimacy with Steven made him afraid for Steven's safety and he needed to see if she would. Marc is not aware he's doing this or feeling this way.

I've seen some other stuff in other corners of the MK fandom/fics that made me think that people might not realize the extent to which (not stated but honestly probable!) female on male domestic abuse might affect Marc. I feel like if the genders were flipped here or if it was same-sex then it would be, like, stunningly obvious, but as it stands it might feel more subtle. I have uh a small soapbox over how I don't think this fandom's overcome internalized biases about female on male abuse as much as it thinks it has but that's a digression.

Hey put like this, this story is uhhhhhhhh kinda dark. I forget that a lot, it's all comedy and drama to me. Thanks for reading!

[vigilskeep]

Did you like mota? How do you feel about Tallis? Do you have any thoughts on her?

I personally love this dlc. I really enjoy playing it, it's interesting and fun but has serious and even dramatic moments at the same time. And it's different from the main game (in a good way). Like, I love da2 but this dlc succeeded in making us feel like we really are out of Kirkwall and having an adventure that's a bit separate from the rest of the game. And I do like Tallis as a character. I appreciate her role in the story and I like that she provides us with another point of view on the qun. But I also feel very sorry for her. She just can't break free. For me, her character theme is doubt. Idk if you know her backstory but she's an elf from Tevinter who was sold into slavery by her own parents and then captured by the qunari who deemed her an unsuitable convert because she was too "headstrong". Apparently she didn't want to be qunari at first and they wanted to use qamek on her. But Salit took her under his wing to make her a tallis so she escaped that fate. And as we see, with time Tallis changed her mind on the qun. I think it happened because of the qunari propaganda and because she had nothing and no one but also because she genuinely started to see good things in the qun. After all, among the qunari Tallis felt like her life meant something to other people, probably for the first time in her life. And she wants to believe that there is a society and ideology where people are valued and everybody has their own place and purpose. (Her line "most qunari don't even understant humans, why you act like you do. But I grew up among you. I understand perfectly well" makes me loose my mind). But she still has too much free will for a qunari so she doesn't really fit in. So she doubts. Tallis does feel that something's wrong but she just can't let the qun go. She doubts herself and the qun for years but still can't find the answers. And that's just tragic. I can't imagine what it's like, to live in doubts for so long. I'd like her to finally realize that she in fact wants to be free of the qun but at this point I'd be happy if she just found peace as a qunari. That's better than being in the state of constant inner turmoil imo.

Also the whole dialogue between Tallis and Hawke and the way they can mirror each other is super interesting like. "Just tell me: can you honestly say there's nothing to improve, nothing to strive for?" My pro mage Anders romancing Hawke may think that qun is horrible but she can't disagree with that. My Hawke and Tallis share this dedication to their believes and inablility to ignore injustices and that's where they find common ground, that is why they respect each other. Tallis' motivation in this dlc is literally saving innocent people so yeah.

Um. Sorry for such a long ask. Hope reading this isn't too boring lmao.

it was a fun dlc!!! you’re right it rlly felt like a breath of fresh air. it was nice to see what hawke and the gang are like outside of kirkwall for once just having a good time out (aside from all the deadly danger etc)

tallis was super interesting, i do like her. it was interesting to spend a lot of time with someone who was clearly on the track of her own story rather than a companion whose fate it’s up to me to decide. and i liked exploring the idea of elves joining the qun with an actual character rather than just vaguely suggesting that it happens. i don’t have any super exciting thoughts yet mostly bc i find the qunari difficult to approach conceptually but also just because i only got to know her like yesterday, i didnt rlly know much abt her beforehand except that she was qunari

my experience with her so far is obviously filtered through keir, who... did not like her at all agshsjsksk. she was incompetent and a liar, and she was picking up a blade for a belief system it was obvious she couldn’t even commit to herself. the qunari talking points didn’t help either, keir isn’t overfond of religion no matter which one it is; all he sees is the damage it does. he did grudgingly fight beside her at the end, mostly because he believed her that innocents were in danger and thought she clearly wasn’t up to the job herself, but he was happy enough to be rid of her and part ways at the end. it might have been just as in character to leave her, though, and i plan to do a second run through with other companions at some point so i might see how that turns out

[between2mysteries]

Some thoughts about fear and embarrassment that are really just stating the obvious but that have only become obvious to me sorta now:

A friend of mine said, in response to me expressing a fear, that it’s not actually scary “it just feels that way at first” which I don’t exactly agree with. Fear is objective in that we all experience it but the kind of fear we feel is subjective and personal to us (though I acknowledge that a lot of what we fear is shared by others.) What one person might find utterly terrifying; public speaking, a first date, swimming, etc., someone else may not (though these are broader examples most do find kinda scary) my point is really just that fear comes from that gross well inside of us that incubates insecurities and nervousness and a really primal desire to not make a fool out of ourselves though embarrassing and humiliating acts and behaviors are just part of what it means to be a person and are entirely unavoidable.

This is a lot of ramble for what sort of simmers into “embrace the fear” but yeah kinda. I think for me personally feelings of rejection, of making a fool out of myself in front of someone, saying the wrong thing or a stupid thing have negated me from sometimes experiencing the fullness of a moment bc I’m so worried everyone in the room is laughing and pointing but really only a few people probably are. Not everyone. It’s not realistic to really think we can escape the full range of scathing judgement from strangers or people who claim to know and love us but it’s also kind of a waste to spend a lot of time agonizing and lamenting on the times it will happen. It’s more likely that yeah someone is laughing at our expense, sometimes even the person directly in front of you but not everyone is and frailties and embarrassment just come with the territory, it ain’t all that bad. So yeah is the action itself scary or is it because of insecurity? Both are sort of true. Fear is kind of irrational in that way, what I find scary my friend might not but it doesn’t make it an untrue experience for me but also the fear I do feel is not an ugly emotion meant to be stomped out nor should I feel shame because it lurks around. Yeah, it’s there and that’s ok. Anyway sorry for the obvious musings but these obvious truths helped reframe my relationship to fear this morning (: happy sunday <3333

[psychewritesbs]

even though I do not mind the weekly or bi weekly chapter releases and enjoy them, I kind of wish I would wake up one day and the final chapter of jjk would be here lol

I mean this as like the time left with the series is fast forwarded. I don't like rushing in any context, but I feel like I want to know the ending before I fall out of love with the series. I've enjoyed what gege has given in the story so far, but there is plenty of choices I would say I do not agree with imo. He seems like he has a vision of how things need to go, but getting there seems to have some issues. I also kind of hate it when authors say they want to end the story especially when it feels like it will be rushed, and is JJK's case it's sometimes hard to enjoy the story after its been said bc I'm just wondering if we're spending too much time on one thing before we need to move to the next point, but I'll still try to see the story's good and the bad and enjoy what I can. I'm going to reread the culling game arc soon, but I feel like those first fights were about gaining allies, but I can say I wasn't expecting it to go like that if that was the intention. I don't mind kenjaku having secret plans bc it's obvious when it comes to them, but I feel as though that plan overshadowed the point of the cg?? I thought there would be more focus of to kill or not, etc and I see that the most for megumi and yuji (they had my fav colony battles), and I get it somewhat with yuta, but I dont see it too importantly with hakari or maki. I'm going to reread the arc regardless because I can always be confused or a bit slower in catching on so forgive me if my insight is lackluster. I liked the running themes during yuki vs kenjaku, but her "death" felt very unnecessary because she seemed really important in achieving a curse free world and idk about you but that seems like an important goal imo and yeah someone else could lead that charge but what was wrong with yuki doing that? I don't know, but I can only hope the remaining part of the story alongside its ending is something not only we can gain some satisfaction with, but the author too can look back and say, "hey it was pretty good at least"

Gege doesn't seem to drop the ball too much with Yuji or at least megumi too, and I'm not too worried since they're my characters of interest currently, but I want to reread this story and actually believe it when I say I thought all the cast was good and I believe the writing can be better or can get worse (idk) but time will tell it all. I'm a recurring anon, so I'm sorry if the apologies are constant and sound like emails at the end 😅

Dear Recurring Anon,

HOLA! Thanks for being my recurring anon and reaching out again!

Ok but listen... I’ve been sitting on your ask for a while thinking of what I wanted to say and how to say it. I’ve probably started 3 different drafts for my response. So thanks for your patience!

Truth of the matter is that when I read your words, what it comes down to is that, even though you don’t like the recent direction the manga has taken, Jujutsu Kaisen still holds an important place in your heart. 

So I think the most important question to keep in mind is that, in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the most overwhelming sense of self... where does your sense of self stand in all of this?

What do you want to take with you from JJK? 

The stuff you didn’t like because it didn’t live up to your expectations? 

Or the stuff you loved even though JJK was incredibly flawed?

Of course there’s more word vomit under the cut lol... you know how I roll.

I’ll start by asking you to forgive me if I’m wrong and you just really needed a container where your thoughts on the current state of JJK would be honored and acknowledged. The truth is that I totally get where you’re coming from. 

I do. 

I hear you.

It’s just that it’s in my perhaps annoying nature to be stupidly optimistic even when I am being a realist. There’s always a silver lining to everything if you are willing to make the effort to find it. 

So, yes, I agree, and I’m also going to challenge you to find a way to continue loving JJK if that’s what you want for yourself.

That said... lets get on with the bitching lol.

Problems with JJK, problems everywhere!

Your concern regarding the pacing in the story is something that I share with you. Most especially the concern that, moving forward, Gege is going to cut corners. I’d also say that at this point this “concern” is factually canon lol. 

I also agree so much with the sentiment of “is he taking too much time on this when he should be addressing this other plot point?” And I think nothing captures that dilemma quite like the Culling Game arc does--ESPECIALLY with the way he handled the chosoyuki ordeal.

Like we got pages upon pages of all of these characters and exposition and dialogue and like... wait, what was the point of the Culling Game again? 

Why has no one died yet?! 

Why is Yuta kissing a cockroach and why are Kashi-chan and Kin-chan trying to see who has the biggest ego (pun intended)? 

Like I swear for weeks I've been like “ok it’s going down!!!! yeah here comes the angst and the deaths aaaaaaand ok never mind then.... maybe next chapter? ok.... next chapter? ok next chapter for sure. no? next chapter?”

FOR WEEKS! It’s all recorded in my chapter liveblogs lol.

Truth is, to me, the Culling Game is a weird arc because I am still trying to understand its significance within the larger Jujutsu scheme of things.

Perhaps he bit more than he could chew with the Culling Game? And as a writer myself I find this kind of relatable. I’m actually seeing what is happening with JJK and taking note of how having too many themes and plot lines can ultimately be detrimental to a story if you can’t, or are unable to execute them all to a satisfying conclusion.

So to your point about re-reading the Culling Game arc... let’s hope that Gege manages to bring it all full circle. But as things stand right now, we’re in the middle of whatever Gege has in mind so it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

What I’ll say is that I have enjoyed parts of it with reckless abandon...

Literal picture of me reading through the absolutely ridiculous battle between Kashi-chan and Kin-chan:

I also think that, at best, we have gotten in-depth character studies (because Gege is harping on the idea about the sense of self being at the core of power in JJK) and needed exposition. 

For example, even though Naoya coming back was soooooo cringe to me, I can still see the purpose it served in the narrative. Did I enjoy the journey? Not really. Same for Maki’s development.

The thing is that even if I agree with you on everything I just mentioned... I can’t unsee the story written between the lines even if the execution of the panels falls short, because I am always reading at a meta level.

I am passionate about story telling and how stories move humans, so to me, now that I’ve seen and acknowledge these flaws in the work, reading JJK is less about what’s on the panels, and more about the story he is trying to tell on a meta level through the panels.

My chosoyuki meta is a great example of me recognizing the story being told between the lines. And once I went down all of the rabbit holes I went down, even though I agree wholeheartedly that the execution fell short, the story told in the symbols was amazing to me. It honestly made me wish that Gege would have had the patience, time, energy, and space to birth that side story into the world the way it deserved to be told.

To me, I want Gege to be able to ground his vision onto the page, but if he is not able to, I’m still there for the “story” told between the lines because there’s so few mangaka whose imagination has captivated me.

In the end, as you say, it does feel like Gege is struggling to ground his vision into the page. And it kind of does suck because we, as an audience, have to work that much harder to understand the story he is trying to tell.

But the story being told is still there... so now it’s up to you to decide what you want to focus on: the flop, the bad execution, the failed attempt, JJK not living up to your expectations, or Gege, the flawed human behind the manga, trying and showing up.

What is good enough for you? That’s something for you to decide. 

I’m not saying to ignore the execution. 

I’m saying to remember that this is Gege’s first manga and that JJK is not what it started as--but not because it’s gotten worse, but rather because JJK is now more like Gege than it has ever been... because in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the strongest sense of self... yadda yadda yadda.

Trust the process: life is a journey, not a destination

I think your concern that you want to experience the ending makes a lot of sense and feels very relatable even at this point in my life. 

But the truth is... 

Foregoing the journey in favor of the destination is a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction. Look at what happened to Denji after he finally got to touch boobs!

Ok yeah, there’s a lot more to it than that in this particular case but the concept still applies.

It also applies to JJK. Again, right now we can’t see the forest for the trees because Gege is executing a complex arc.

The timeline is confusing af, and I think it’s because he may be trying to pull a similar literary trick to what happened in Westworld’s season 1 and 2 where the timeline is scrambled out of order to purposely confuse and mislead the audience. 

Perhaps the timeline is out of order for another grand purpose. Perhaps he just thought it would be fun and wanted to try to execute a fun literary trick.

But we won’t know until he delivers--and delivering is a process, not a destination.

And you know what... if you still get to the end and realize that you didn’t like JJK and the latter part of the story ruined your love for JJK, well...

It’s personal

Dude like... I respect that people LOVE Chainsaw Man, and I also think Chainsaw Man is ridiculously overhyped. I’ve seen countless of videos with people hyping it as the all end be all of manga and that Fujimoto is a genius and...

I. 

just. 

don’t. 

get. 

it.

I am just not a fan of Fujimoto’s brand of navel-gazing existentialism. It feels so anti-climatic to me.

Does that mean that CSM objectively sucks and is bad?! No. It’s personal.

Similarly, I overhype the hell out of CLAMP manga, and I am also aware that people might read CLAMP manga and not like it. 

Even so, to me, the four women behind CLAMP are genius story-tellers.

Shameless Subaru and CLAMP plug because this is one of my favorite Tokyo Babylon panels.

It comes back to personal taste, right?

For me, I love JJK despite the flaws because I still love the story being told between the lines, I find Gege’s brand of ironic humor funny, and I like how the story has progressed. 

Say goodbye to mainstream, Gege’s work might become a cult classic moving forward

Now... I bring up Fujimoto and CLAMP to illustrate the idea that there are people who are going to be dedicated fans of a mangaka and their work, people who enjoy and appreciate their work but don’t necessarily love it,  people who are in it for the hype, and people who don’t like their work.

CLAMP’s Cardcaptor Sakura is mainstream hype. Tokyo Babylon and Clover are what you read when you’re a hardcore fan.

Fujimoto’s CSM is mainstream hype. Fire dude punch something something and Goodbye Eri is what you read when you’re a hardcore fan. 

Watanabe’s Cowboy Bebop is mainstream hype. Zankyou no Terror and Carole and Tuesday are what you watch when you’re a hardcore fan.

Akutami’s Jujutsu Kaisen is mainstream hype. 

Gege followed the Battle Shonen recipe, added his own twists, and created an accidental mega hit. In fact, oddly enough, JJK has always been known as a story that defies expectations and uses tropes in new and unexpected ways.

So what happened? Why are people not liking Gege’s current execution?

To me, there’s something about how JJK is written that has changed, and it has nothing to do with Gege’s ability to write, and everything to do with his sense of self, who he has become in the process of writing JJK, and what he wants to express through his work.

In other words, JJK is more like Gege than it has ever been. Some people are going to like that, and some are not. 

Truth is that Gege is one of the VERY few mangaka who can write beautiful, multidimensional, engaging and extremely human characters who are true to their nature and aspirations.

He also writes on a very meta level and you don’t see that very often... like at all. 

All this to say that I think this is why you see such vastly different reactions in fandom right now. 

Some people still think he’s a fantastic writer and that he’s writing a unique work that has transcended generic Shonen tropes (like yours truly), and some people think that the way JJK is right now is generic Shonen. I don’t understand this last take but...

Who is right?

Who holds THE ultimate truth?

It doesn’t really matter because it’s personal.

All I know is that I am going to keep up with anything Gege publishes moving forward because I like the story he is telling through JJK.

Above all, I’m curious to see what other stories want to be born through him into this world.

Now, I HIGHLY recommend you listen to this 20 minute Ted talk by Elizabeth Gilbert to understand what I mean when I say that Gege is giving birth to stories. Her talk is a mind-opening take on what happens to your sense of self when you accidentally write a mega hit, and how that in turn affects your creative process.

I don’t know that this is how Gege sees his work as a mangaka, but I have to wonder about the possibility that Gege, someone who has very clearly studied the psychology of Carl Jung, sees JJK as an exercise in creative imagination, and/or as a story he’s been handed from the collective unconscious.

His job as a mangaka is to show up and write, to play, to express himself creatively.

That means that sometimes what he writes is going to be magnificent in the eyes of others, and sometimes it’s going to fall short of everybody’s expectations.

And that’s what it comes down to... 

Expectations

I see a lot of people complain about JJK failing to live up to their expectations without acknowledging that their expectations are simply that, expectations.

There’s nothing wrong with having expectations per se, and it is also important to realize when expectations are defining what we think is and isn’t good enough. 

And let’s not forget that you too probably don’t live up to other’s expectations. Does that mean that your effort too isn’t good enough? Gosh now I sound like Lacus.

Again... who holds the ultimate truth?

In the end, Gege is the one telling the Jujutsu Kaisen story. 

I also cannot emphasize enough that Gege is also a mangaka in the very early stages of his writing career. 

I don’t buy that his writing was better in the beginning of JJK. 

Quite the opposite, I see his writing AND art in the beginning of JJK as having followed a recipe: the three man team, found family, the strong mentor figure, etc... all the tropes are there executed in fresh and unexpected ways. 

But that was 5 years ago. Again... in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the strongest sense of self... what does that mean for Gege?

That said, Gege isn’t following the same recipe anymore, he’s coming up with his own recipe and he’s learning how to write his own recipe.

This is not to make excuses for him, it’s just something to think about because most people aren’t born naturally talented at anything that requires mastery, and writing is a craft that requires mastery through execution. 

As a quick side note, if you read Tokyo Babylon and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle by CLAMP, the 10+ year gap between both manga shows a marked improvement in the writing. AND EVEN THEN CLAMP MANAGED TO FUCK UP THE TSUBASA PLOT!

In other words, Gege has to fail to get better. 

Now add to that the pressure of a weekly publishing schedule that dampens the creative process with tight deadlines, and then on top of that having to draw the whole thing. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Gosh, if I had to guess, I would have to say Gege is ready for an extended vacation. 

But, as you say, I also just want for him to be satisfied with his story. 

As for us being satisfied with his story... well, it depends on what we choose to focus on.

Will you focus on how he failed at executing his vision?

Will you focus on the beautiful story he told between the lines?

Or will you focus on how how he managed to tell a beautiful story despite failing at the execution?

Can you hold the tension of opposites?

Ok SO SORRY this took me so long to get back to you my dear recurring anon. I just had so many thoughts because, like I said before, I agree with you, and I also wanted to challenge you to see things a little differently without being patronizing.

In the end, you want to continue to love JJK, right? 

So love JJK! 

Acknowledge its flaws and be at peace with them for the sake of that love. Nothing is perfect.

Anyways, I love that we can be in conversation about this and that you have come to me to share your thoughts on jjk. 

Merci beaucoup. 

[captains-simp]

hello i love your work!! can you do a part 2 to worth our time? :”) maybe wherein carol is actually getting soft for the reader and wants to be together but the reader is hesitant bc of carol being known as a player? maybe some jealous carol as well? 😳😳

Soft!jock!Carol is a god tier idea and I really hope I did it justice

Shout out to @wlwmarvelenthusiast for helping me with my technical difficulties

Part 1

7.5k words

Warnings: oral, praise and double ended dildo use

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Why are you ignoring Carol?" Wanda asked with a frown as you sped out of the school car park a little too hastily. She narrowed her eyes at you, ready to read into every expression that flickered across your face.

"I'm not ignoring her, I'm avoiding her. It's different." You insisted as you kept your eyes on the road in front of you, determined to leave the school grounds before a certain blonde left the building and got into her own car.

"It's exactly the same thing just in a different font." Wanda stated as she continued to watch you.

"It's not. And anyway, I'm not obligated to talk to her." You said quieter, not finding enough confidence in your words. Of course you weren't obligated to talk to Carol, but you missed it - more than you would admit to yourself.

"I know, I thought you liked her though. You said your date went well with her but since then you run out of every room she enters."

"It wasn't really a date." You muttered as took a left and eyed your mirror.

"Y/n." Wanda laughed. "I think I know a date when it's described to me."

"But it's Carol, Wanda. Carol doesn't do dates." You insisted as you tried your hardest to avoid your friend's gaze again. You didn't want her to see the pain in your eyes.

"She did with you."

"She went down on me-"

"Yes, I remember that catch up conversation." Wanda chuckled and you threw an empty sweet packet you had left in the car at her.

"And I'm not complaining about that. It's just... you know I'm not one to judge people by rumors, but Carol seems like a pretty strict 'hookups only' type of gal. Every time me and Carol are alone together we end up fucking and again, I'm not complaining about that, but it's enough to tell me she doesn't want anything more from me. Not even fuck buddies, because she doesn't commit to girls." You breathed out deeply as you parked up outside yours and Wanda's favourite coffee shop, suddenly not able to tell if you weren't in the mood for your hot chocolate or in desperate need of one.

"I think there might be a little more to it than that." Wanda said after a moment. She knew where you were coming from but she also couldn't deny the fidgety nature and anxious look in the blonde's eyes a few days prior.

"She called it a date last time you were together, she hasn't done that before. She was worried when you were sick and she's only ever worried when her teammates are sick."

"She wasn't worried." You rolled your eyes lightly and managed a small smile at Wanda.

"Oh she definitely was."

You groaned when you heard your phone vibrate on your bedside table. You rolled over begrudgingly, only bothering to check it because you knew it was lunch break at school and it might have been Wanda sending you the class notes you had asked for.

Unknown number: when I saw you weren't in class I assumed you were dead

You frowned as you took a double take of the message and the number you didn't recognize. The fuck? You decided to respond anyway, if they were in your class and texted you maybe they would send you their notes too.

You: sorry, who is this??

Unknown number: your favourite jock ;)

They replied, pretty much instantly. You put two and two together, but really the smirking face would have been enough.

You: Carol? How did you get this number??

You rubbed your eyes and pulled you sick bowl closer to you, frowning at the discomfort you felt.

Unknown number: so I am your favourite jock?? Good to know

You rolled your eyes and groaned more, knowing Carol wouldn't be forgetting that in a hurry. You didn't respond to that, instead shutting off your phone in hopes of getting more sleep but a minute later another text came through. You knew it would be Carol, but you still reached over to check it.

Unknown number: and Wanda gave it to me

"Dammit, Wanda." You grumbled, going to write her an angry message but Carol had something else to say.

Unknown number: I asked very nicely

You fought off a smile weakly and decided to change her contact, telling yourself it might be useful to keep it.

Jackass: You home alone?

She didn't seem to want to stop talking. Although you couldn't deny that it made you smile more when you wondered if she meant was anyone there to look after you.

You: I am, parents have to work

Jackass: want me to come over and make you feel better? ;)

Suddenly you didn't feel like talking to Carol anymore. You were sick and feeling crappy and all Carol wanted to do was fuck, she was hardly subtle about it either. If you hadn't already been thinking long and hard about what the jock could possible think of you, that would have been the moment you started to ponder it.

With your mood somehow lowered even more, you turned your phone off to go back to sleep, accidentally swiping the notification that read Jackass: * :)

"I still can't believe you gave her my number." You grumbled as you swirled the chocolaty drink in front of you.

"She did ask very nicely." Wanda grinned.

"Enough about her." You said, leaning forward on your elbows to grin back at your friend. "How's your girlfriend?"

*

You were on your phone when you saw a donut being pushed across the table towards you out of the corner of your eye. It was your favourite type that also happened to be the one the cafeteria rarely sold, so when it landed in front of you you looked up with a smile, expecting to see Wanda smiling knowingly back at you.

Carol grinned as she pulled out the chair opposite you and sat herself down. Your eyes flickered over to Wanda who was trying to hide her smile and look away.

"It's for you." Carol said after a second.

"What do I have to do for it?" You asked, only half joking as you eyed the treat suspiciously.

"Come on another date with me." She winked. You leaned back and looked away from Carol and the donut, displeased but not surprised. "Nothing." Carol said quickly. "You don't have to do anything, I just know that one's your favourite." The blonde said. You had never told her that. You eyed Wanda again who quickly looked away like she hadn't been watching the interaction and leaned into Natasha.

"Thank you, Danvers." You said quietly, moving the napkin that the donut was on closer to you.

"I thought we were passed that." Carol chuckled, you wanted to smile at the sound. Carol leaned down to grab something out of her rucksack as you started on the donut, not entirely sure if you should try make conversation or just run away.

"I took notes yesterday, while you were gone." The jock said as she put her notebook on the table and flicked through her badly organised pages to find the one she was looking for. You raised your eyebrows slightly in response.

You had never once seen Carol take actual notes in class, but when she spun the book around to face you you were even more surprised to see the detailed notes she had been taking, even with a couple of small diagrams at the bottom she had probably copied from the board.

"Are they okay? Wilson's pretty good at this shit I'm sure I could get him to-"

"They're great!" You interrupted. "They're...fuck, I'm sorry but since when did you take notes?" You didn't want to seem rude but it felt like you were witnessing a never before seen event or the discovery of a new species.

"Just figured you would want them." Carol shrugged and took a sandwich out her bag.

"Yeah I... thank you." You muttered and smiled when you saw a small doodle of a star. "Can I?" You asked as you motioned to your phone's camera. Carol nodded with a smile and watched as you took photos of her notes.

Wanda coughed from across the table and you shot daggers at her, knowing what she so desperately wanted to say. She hasn't done that for anyone else.

*

"It was sweet of her though." Wanda pointed out as her eyes stayed fixed on Natasha's form.

"It was, but you've gotten me donuts before and you don't want to date me." You said as you tried to stop your eyes trailing to Carol again as they seemed to keep doing.

"Well if Natasha wasn't here..." Wanda teased with a smile. You rolled your eyes at your friend and chuckled.

"Are Carol's abs as hard as they look?" Wanda asked randomly. You couldn't help but look up at the blonde at the mention of her name and perhaps one of your favourite things about her.

It was a hot day and her team was training hard on the field, so most of the athletes had their shirts off. Carol's abs were on full display and given the amount of core stretches she had been doing they were as prominent as ever.

"They are." You muttered, remembering the first time you ran your hands across her chest.

You heard giggling in the row behind you and turned around to see a group of girls also watching Carol and her team train. It was obvious their gazes fell on the same area yours had and suddenly you remembered the long list of names that Carol used to show off proudly.

The girl's whispers became louder as did the giggling and without realizing what you were doing you found yourself comparing you to them. They were popular, effortlessly beautiful and probably had much more experience than you ever had. You couldn't compete with that. Especially when you didn't even know why Carol wanted you. You rested your head on your knees and tried to zone out the world around you as your insecurities ate at you more.

"Come on." Wanda nudged you gently as she stood up from the bleachers. You grabbed your bag and followed after her, noticing that practice was apparently over.

Natasha was standing at the bottom of the bleachers and pulled Wanda into a tight hug. You smiled at the motion, wishing you had what they did.

"Hey." Carol said to you, her eyes shining lightly in the sun.

"Hey yourself." You nodded as you began to walk behind Wanda and Nat. Carol fell into place beside you and made you think about the height difference between you. You were convinced she could give the best piggy back rides.

"You make it look easy." You blurted out. Carol arched a perfect brow at you as she pulled her shirt over her head. "Sport." You generalized, waving your hands.

"Y/n is allergic to sport." Wanda called back.

"Is that right?" Carol smirked as she looked at you.

"It is not, it's just not my thing." You defended.

"Then what is your thing?" Carol asked curiously.

"Wouldn't you like to know." You replied as you searched your brain, not really knowing if you had a thing. Nothing serious at least.

"I would." Carol fired back.

"That's too bad." The jock smiled and decided not to push.

"I'm sure there's a sport you can do." Carol pondered.

"If there is if it could be added to the curriculum that would be really helpful." You sighed.

"Y/n L/n, are you failing a class?" Carol gasped dramatically. You groaned when Wanda laughed, confirming the blonde's assumption.

"Could be worse, I fail loads of classes and everything seems to work out okay." Carol said calmly, seemingly completely unfazed.

You reached the car park and slowed down when you saw Natasha follow Wanda to her car. Wanda was your lift to school and therefore your ride home too. You had stayed behind to study in the library and joined your friend on the bleachers when it shut to see the last of the teams training, not thinking about the fact Wanda was staying behind so she could hang out with Natasha after.

"I can give you a ride home." Carol offered as she threw her car keys up in the air and caught them easily. You pondered that for a second, you really didn't want to be a third wheel to your friend, even if it was a short drive home.

"Yeah, thanks, Danvers." Wanda gave you a knowing smile as she waved goodbye and practically ran to her car with Natasha.Yeah, definitely the best call to leave them alone.

You got into Carol's car and tried to ignore all the memories you had of being in the backseat, instead resting your arm against the window to try and keep your focus on that. Carol didn't say much as you drove which surprised you. She seemed deep in thought about something and you couldn't help but wonder what.

"You want to come to mine?" She said suddenly. You froze in your seat before answering.

"Just my place will do. For me only! I mean I... I have homework." You rambled and felt your whole face heat up. You wondered if being in a car with Wanda and Natasha jumping each other could possibly be more uncomfortable than being sat with Carol and trying to decline her advances.

"I could help." She offered, seemingly genuinely.

"I can handle it." You forced a laugh. Carol nodded and didn't say anything else until she pulled up to your house.

"Thanks again, Danvers." You smiled at the blonde as you hauled you bag up and opened the door.

"I'm always happy to help you out, y/n." Carol smiled back your way genuinely and your stomach did a little flip.

*

You hummed to yourself quietly as you made your way through the school corridors and opened the double doors to the library. You smiled to the librarian as always and got a limited response but your smile faltered when you saw your usual table was taken... by Carol.

She was in her training attire and scrolling mindlessly through her phone until she glanced up and saw you. "Hey." She smiled.

"Are you lost?" You asked as you walked towards her slowly.

"No and go get changed." Was all she said as she pushed a bag of school gym clothes towards you.

"And why would I do that?" You sighed as you peered into the bag.

"Y/n," Carol started as she tilted her chair back and rested her hands behind her head with her feet on the table, her usual confident smile playing on her lips. "Does it or does it not absolutely kill you that you're failing a class?" You paused before flicking yours eyes up to her. Yes, it absolutely did.

"And am I or am I not the best athlete in the school?" Also hard to argue with. You shifted on your feet.

"Come on, y/n. I promise I'll help you at least pass the class." Carol said with certainty. You chewed your gum as you thought about it.

"What do you get out of it?" You asked as you narrowed your eyes at the blonde.

"I can go to sleep at night knowing I've helped an underling." She grinned. You rolled your eyes but couldn't help but smile at her, Carol continued to smile back at you.

"That A* you got us on that project made me pass the class." Carol shrugged.

"Alright, Danvers." You nodded and picked up the bag. "But no funny business."

"Great!" She exclaimed and took her feet off the table to stand up.

"I'll see you in the main hall in 10."

*

Barely ten minutes into Carol's 'warm ups' you were already out of breath and in need of a break. You glared at her every time she barked orders at you with a grin, clearly enjoying bossing you around.

"Catch!" Carol exclaimed as she hauled a basketball at you. You ducked out the way and watched it fly past your head.

"You trying to kill me?!" Carol was bent over laughing at your exasperation and inability to catch a simple ball.

"Shut the fuck up, Danvers." You huffed but managed to hit the second ball that came your way.

"You really are allergic to sports huh?" She teased as you scowled at her. "Okay, let's start with the basics."

Surprisingly, from that point onward Carol wasn't that bad. She gave you a lot of pointers that honestly proved helpful because you slowly started to improve. Granted, you were still bad, but you were better.

"Arms like this." She instructed and watched as you mimicked her shooting position. "Elbows a little higher." You did as she said but she smiled at the attempt and stepped behind you. You froze up a little when she put her hands over yours and lifted them up too to a position that felt more natural.

"You got it." She assured, speaking right next to your ear so you could feel her breath against your skin. Then she withdrew her soft hands from yours and backed away. You missed the contact immediately.

"Now shoot." She instructed. You missed.

*

Carol trained you after school pretty much every day after that. Your limbs always ached after those sessions, so much so you were tempted to cave and take Carol up on her offer of a back rub.

You found that some sports were actually kind of fun to play with Carol, whether it was the absence of the pressure you got in a full class of teenagers or just because you enjoyed the blonde's company, it wasn't all that bad.

You still couldn't find a sport you were good at, but you didn't really care. You wondered what would happen when you did. Would Carol coach you at it for a bit then abandon your sessions? They couldn't keep going forever. The pang you got in your chest was the reason you had been ignoring Carol weeks prior, you didn't want to feel that for her. You just couldn't help it.

"Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night." You recalled as Valkyrie wrote it down.

"I knew it was something like that." She waved off.

"Yeah you were really close with..." You glanced at her notes. "She gives me a boner." You laughed and put your face in your hand.

"That's the modern day translation!" Valkyrie exclaimed defensively.

"Please don't put that in your exam." You sighed as you flicked through your copy of Romeo and Juliet to find the next act.

"One sec." Valkyrie said as she looked down at her phone that was vibrating on the desk with a caller ID that you couldn't read.

"Hey, Captain." Valkyrie answered. You looked her way and back at your book quickly. There was more than one Captain in the school.

"I'm in the library studying." She continued and paused for the other voice to speak. "It's not that bad, a pretty girl's teaching me Romeo and Juliet." Valkyrie winked at you and you smiled weakly back, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Fucking jocks and their shameless flirtation.

"Yeah I'll be done soon, see you then." She said and hung up the phone before turning back to you.

"Are there any quotes about boners?" The minutes after that went by painstakingly slowly. It was only a one off tutoring session that you would get an extra credit for, but you could think of a million things you would rather be doing with your lunch break.

Valkyrie nodded past you at someone at the library entrance. You turned around out of instinct and saw Carol strolling towards your table, eyes focused on you.

"Thanks for this." Valkyrie said as she packed away her things. "If I pass the exam I'm gonna have to find some way to make it up to you." She smirked as her eyes trailed over your legs.

You glanced at Carol who looked far from pleased at Valkyrie's comment and couldn't help but smile because that is exactly what she sounded like to you sometimes.

"That's okay." You muttered as you tried to avoid her gaze and put your books back in your bag.

"Alright, but I'm having a party this weekend. You should come."

"I'm not really a party person." You laughed awkwardly, wanting the encounter to be over.

"You don't have to spend long at the party itself." Valkyrie shrugged as she took a bold step towards you. "You could always stay in my room-"

"She said no." Carol cut in. Her eyes bore into Valkyrie's with a look that said the conversation was over. Her stance was firm and her jaw was tightly locked as she glared at her team mate. Valkyrie frowned and looked back at you as you fiddled with your bag zip and avoided her eye, silently thanking Carol even if she had been a tad aggressive.

"Right, sorry." Valkyrie muttered before making her way past you. Carol gave you a small smile before turning to leave with her team mate. You were sure Wanda would have something to say about that.

*

It was a few days until you saw Carol again. She had texted you to briefly say she had practice after school and you didn't see her at lunch breaks either. It annoyed you to admit you missed her company.

With every second you spent with the jock your crush on her grew. You knew that any longer and you may just end up head over heals for her which would only end in heart break for you. But every time you saw the wisp of blonde hair, shine of brown eyes with her confident smile or even just that god damn varsity jacket, you didn't care about how it could end.

It was a Thursday when she texted you during lunch to ask if you wanted to practice after school. You replied a little too eagerly with a yes and continued listening to Wanda rant about something dumb Pietro had done.

A few hours later you held a bat in your hands and prepared for Carol to throw the ball your way. She wasn't very talkative that day, a rarity for the blonde. You wanted to ask if something was up with her but the concentrated look on her face made you not want to disrupt her train of thought.

"I'm sorry." She said suddenly.

"That's alright." You sighed as you watched the ball roll across the field. That was a particularly fast throw.

"About snapping in the library." Carol corrected. "I didn't mean to make it awkward." She said as she scratched the back or her neck then stretched her arm to throw again.

"You didn't." You assured honestly. "I was already uncomfortable." You huffed as you missed another throw from Carol even after trying to apply all her tips.

"Val can be quite persistent." Carol said, still not showing her smile.

"Just like someone else I know." You shrugged. Carol faltered at the obvious call out.

"Lets switch." She said quietly and handed you her glove as she took the bat from you. She explained to you the basics of her own throwing techniques and had a few recommendations on what she thought might work best for you.

"If you ever told me no, I'd back off." Carol said as put the bat up. You were thrown off by the sudden shift in conversation.

"I know you would have." You hoped Carol noticed your use of past tense. You had already decided that sex with her again would be too dangerous for you. God only knows what you would end up blurting out. You cringed at the thought of confessing your love for Carol as she fucked you.

Your eyes shifted to the track team that were doing their laps around another part of the field. They made it look as easy as always.

"You got eyes for one of them, y/n?" Carol asked in a voice that seemed more curious than teasing.

"Not my type." You muttered as you threw the ball weakly again.

"What is your type?" Carol asked, unable to mask her curiosity that time.

"I don't know." You huffed. The blonde looked at you expectantly, clearly hoping for something more. "And what's your type, Danvers?" You asked, successfully shifting the conversation when you saw a glint in Carol's eyes. Her smile returned.

"Eh, about (your height), (your eye colour) eyes, terrible at sport but really cute so it's dorky." Carol shrugged. Damn, that could almost be me. You glanced up at the blonde to throw again and saw her smirking at you.

"Someone should warn her." You joked in a feeble attempt to hide your disappointment that we swelling in the pit of your stomach.

"I just did." Wait... Carol's smirk grew as she watched the realization spread across your face. You blushed deeply and tried to fight off a smile.

"I don't think baseball's working either." You muttered.

*

"You know it's strange, I always thought you were going to become a jock." Pietro said thoughtfully before taking a bite of his apple.

"First of all how dare you and secondly what the hell gave you that idea?" You exclaimed. Wanda was giggling besides you while Carol gave you a look of faux offence.

"That's the highest compliment!" She argued.

"I second that." Natasha nodded.

"Do you remember Wanda's 14th birthday party?" Pietro asked.

"It's a treasured memory." You grinned at Wanda. "I kicked your ass at bowling." You recalled proudly.

"You kicked everyone's ass at it. Bowling's a sport isn't it?" Apparently word had spread about Carol's private lessons. You and the blonde had spent weeks going back and forth between different sports. Overall, you were still pretty crap but you had been lifted to a passing grade in the class. You kept meaning to tell Carol that, but you didn't want the lessons to end. You concluded that as long as she didn't ask, you wouldn't tell.

"I'd say so." Wanda shrugged but Carol and Natasha clearly had different opinions.

"Fuck no!"

"Please do not align that with us!" They erupted. You and Wanda started to laugh at their outraged expression, never knowing something to piss a jock off more.

The sound of the bell overhead was followed by a few groans from those around the table as you all packed up and left the table. At least it was a Friday. You wandered across the field on your usual route of going round the main buildings to avoid the crowded corridors, lost in your thoughts until someone jogged up besides you.

"Bowling, huh?" She inquired as she slowed down to a walk.

"It's been years." You said offhandedly.

"You got plans tomorrow?"

"Nope."

"We should go bowling, if you want to. Obviously just as part of your lessons." Carol offered as she looked ahead.

"I thought you said it isn't a sport." You eyed the blonde suspiciously with a smile.

"It isn't, but this I have to see."

"Okay." You nodded without much thought. Bowling with the jock did sound fun.

"I'll pick you up at 2."

*

"These shoes are ridiculous." Carol grumbled.

"American football shoulder pads are ridiculous but you don't hear me calling that out." You fired back.

"Oh, so that was meant at someone else?"

"Sure." You shrugged as you smiled at Carol's brightly coloured shoes. You went onto your lane and gleamed at the nostalgic sound of pins being knocked over and the bright spot lights across the lanes.

Carol put your names into the scoreboard tablet as you ran your hands over the bowling balls and frowned slightly as you realized you still had to use one of the smaller ones.

"Experts first." Carol motioned to the beginning of the lane with a small smirk and you smiled back at her excitedly and grabbed a ball.

"Just remember it's been a while!" You called back to the eagerly watching blonde. She hummed back. You brought the ball up to your chest to have a feel of the weight and glared at the pins, there had to be something you could impress Carol with. With a deep breath, you swung your arm back and forward to let the ball go, center down the lane and colliding with the painted targets. All but one knocked over and you couldn't help but throw tour hands up in the air in triumph.

"That was pretty good!" You declared as you turned back to Carol happily. She beamed back at you, giving you a smile that made her eyes squint and look absolutely adorable.

You grabbed the second ball and rolled it smoothly across the polished floor, successfully hitting the last pin. Carol strolled up after you, her hands hovering over the range in front of her and landing on one for someone with a bigger hand. You scoffed quietly, not believing the jock could hold it but she picked it up with ease.

You stood, wide eyed, watched as she sauntered over to the lane and swung her arm. The ball veered off to the side and took down a couple of pins that Carol glared at.

"Unlucky is all." She grumbled as she went to get another ball. This time when she threw it it fell into the dip along the side, it was hard to hide your amusement.

"That's just bullshit." Carol grumbled.

"Do you want me to put the sides up for you, Danvers? Or maybe I could ask someone for that ramp." You teased. She flipped you off and went to sit on the small sofa and watched you carefully.

You knocked most of the pins over on your next few goes while Carol got very little. You tried to give her a few tips but apparently her ego was too big to accept them, which meant you were winning marginally.

You spun around to face the blonde after knocking the last of your pins over but she wasn't on her spot on the sofa. You were about to get your phone out to text her but you spotted her sauntering back towards your area with a bowl of nachos. Your mouth watered at the sight.

Carol gave a dramatic huff as she spotted the scoreboard and beckoned you over to the small table by the sofas. "We'll start a new round after these." She said as she put them on the table. "I didn't poison them." She quipped when you didn't move.

"Sometimes I think you'd do anything to win." You replied as you sat down opposite her and took one of the nachos. In all honesty you weren't expecting Carol to get the snack, never mind to want to share it.

Carol flexed her right hand absent mindedly as she glanced around at over areas of the alley. "Your hand hurting?" You asked as you took another nacho with a lot of cheese on it.

"A little." She shrugged and lifted it up to look at the back of her mind. Without thinking, you put your hand and pressed it gently flat against hers. Not only were her fingers longer than yours but her palm was bigger too, even her wrist was thicker. It was only when you caught Carol's eye that you went to bring your hand away but she laced her fingers through yours and put them down on the table.

"Sorry, I was just curious." You blushed even though it was clear Carol didn't mind.

"Okay." She chuckled as she continued on the nachos. You finished the rest of the snack in silence with your hands still together until you leaned back and glanced at the lane again.

"Ready to have your ass kicked again?" You quipped.

"Don't get cocky, kid." Carol mused as she rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Since when did you know Star Wars?" You asked in complete disbelief.

"I love Star Wars." Carol said casually. "And since always."

"I didn't take you for the type." You smiled as you tried to study the jock for any signs of a lie.

"That's just because you never asked." She shrugged and stood up, letting your hands slide apart. You missed the contact instantly but that didn't distract you enough from her words.

Of course you had never asked her something like that, Star Wars was the last thing you'd guess she would like. You knew there was always more to people than what they showered publicly, but Carol had always seemed like such an open book in every way. So hearing that she wasn't quite what you thought she was, even after the few months of knowing her better, simply made you impossibly more interested in the blonde. You stared at Carol in nothing short of awe, she was really something else.

"I've had enough of these shoes." She declared.

"You quitting on me Danvers?" You quipped but really your heart dropped at the thought she wanted to cut your outing short.

"I'm just thinking we could try our hand at a few other things, seeing as we're not doing sport anymore." She said as she nodded towards the arcade.

Your eyes lit up at all the games in the entrance as you found your competitiveness returning. You both returned your shoes and practically ran over to the arcade area with all its choices. You decided to head towards the air hockey first as you argued over whether or not it was a sport. Carol, of course, took the opposition.

Your reflexes weren't as good as hers but you liked to think you put up a good fight, even if you did curse under your breath every time the blonde scored. The screen above you both lit up to declare Carol's victory that she was very happy to celebrate, you watched as she danced around the table towards you in what could have been the dorkiest thing you had ever seen.

"You having fun there?" You laughed.

"So much fun." Carol grinned back and eyed her next target.

"Absolutely not!" You cried out when her eyes landed on the basketball. You took her by the hand and tried your best to ignore the electricity running up your arms at how perfectly her hand fit in yours and led her through the arcade. You came to a halt by a racing game and before you could even suggest the idea to Carol she was clambering into the seat and shoving the coins into the machine. You sat down next to her and did the same. You were both terrible. The controls were slightly broken and far too sensitive, making the cars on screen spin around when you tried to turn and never going straight.

"Piece of garbage!" Carol shouted at the screen as you passed the finish line by some miracle.

"Wanna go again?" You asked with a grin but the blonde was already jumping off the seat.

"Now this I have to win." Carol declared as she spotted the nearest shooting game. It was some kind of zombies in space crossover but you didn't much question that when you picked up the plastic gun.

"We work together on this, Danvers." You laughed.

"Count yourself lucky then." Carol said as she aimed her gun at the screen as the game started.

"The fact that you didn't know how it works doesn't make me all that confident in you." You pointed out as you started firing at the horde of zombies. You didn't see one that was charging at you from the left but Carol shot it down before it reached you.

"You're welcome." She smirked then shot some more on your right. "Come on, y/n I'm doing all the work here."

"Fuck yourself, Danvers." You fired back as you tried to reload your gun.

"Fuck me yourself you coward." She challenged. Your mouth went dry but you started to laugh. She didn't make the comment with her usual smirk and suggestive tone, instead it seemed like a genuine joke that you didn't get anxious about.

"That would be a first." You quipped with a smile. You managed to take the last few zombies.

"It really would be, I am a virgin after all." She said casually and you dropped your gun. "Oh shit, here we go!" Carol laughed as the zombie boss made its dramatic entrance.

"Wait what?" You stammered as you looked between Carol and the screen while trying to get a grip on the plastic gun.

"What? No one's ever fucked me. I fuck girls, they don't fuck me back." She shrugged simply and started rapid firing at the boss.

"Maybe you should stop being exclusive to pillow princesses." You joked in a feeble attempt to mask your surprise.

"Maybe, it's not just that." She started. It confused you that she could say something so out of character while keeping most of her attention on the screen. "I don't trust any of them. I don't know, it's just, when it comes down to it, I freak out." Carol tried to explain but seemed to struggle.

"Damn." She sighed when the screen presented 'Game Over' in an overtly bloody text. You wandered away from the booth as you thought about what Carol said. She had a content smile on her face as she looked around and you figured the conversation was over.

"I love these." You told the blonde when you came across a Wac A Mole machine. You put the coins in and lifted up the rubber mallet as you kept your eyes on the board. The first one sprung up in front of you and Carol announced its presence with a cry.

"Thank you, Danvers." You smiled after hitting the figure.

"There!" She pointed to the next one, and the next one until you shouldered her out the way, not expecting her to actual wander off. When the game was over you grinned in triumph and looked to Carol for her praise but she wasn't near by. With a frown, you ventured around the arcade and found the jock hunched over a claw machine.

"These things eat you money, you know?" You half joked but to your surprise Carol dropped a small teddy bear into the box.

"And how long did that take you?" You teased as she picked it up.

"Its for you." You ran your thumb over the left paw that had a heart over it and smiled back at the jock who kept surprising you.

"Thank you, Carol." She nodded and the pair of you started to walk out the arcade and main building. Much to your surprise it was starting to get dark and there were few cars in the car park. You guessed the place would be closing soon but you hadn't realized you had been there so long. Time always seemed to fly by with Carol.

"How long were we even..." You started to laugh lightly until you turned to Carol and realized how close together you were. Your breath hitched when your eyes locked with her own that seemed to be looking back at you with something you couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Can I kiss you?" You whispered gently. You licked your lips and nodded slowly.

Her other hand rested on your cheek as her thumb caressed the smooth skin slightly and finally closed the distance entirely.

You had kissed Carol before, but never like that. It was slow and longing and gentle and you reciprocated in an instant, matching the rhythm she set. You brought you hands up to Carol's neck and cherished the moment of feeling connected to her in the way you had been craving before you pulled apart.

"It's only our second date, Danvers." You couldn't help but quip, not knowing what to say in such an unfamiliar scenario.

"Well this second date has taken a lot of work to get." Carol pointed out and you laughed as you continued to hold her close.

"I was scared." You admitted.

"You don't have to be scared with me." Carol assured gently.

"You mean it? You really..."

"I really love you." She confirmed.

"That's lucky for me, because I love you too." You smiled and brought Carol in for another kiss that she happily encouraged.

"So... more dates?" Carol asked with a laugh, clearly not all that familiar with the procedure either. You would work it out quickly.

"Yeah Carol." You chuckled.

"That I still have to work hard for?" She half joked.

"Not if we're girlfriends." The blonde laughed more at that.

"I'm glad to hear I've upgraded from just your favourite jock.

"You're always going to be my favourite jock too." You assured and kissed Carol once more.

*

Carol kissed a path down your stomach and smiled against your skin as she felt you shiver. Even after weeks of dating you still weren't used to her kisses, especially not across your more sensitive areas of skin.

"I got you." She whispered as she hooked her fingers over your pajama bottoms and panties and pulled them down together, kissing the newly found skin. You shivered more as her breath ghosted over your clit making you whine and buck your hips up. Carol smiled at your reaction and leaned down not before whispering "God, you're beautiful.

She wrapped her full lips around your clit and reveled in the moan that spilled from your lips. Her tongue dipped between your folds and she moaned at the sweet taste that invaded her taste buds.

You wrapped your hands in Carol's long blonde hair to bring her closer but she pulled away with a smirk. Before you could whine in protest she pulled her own trousers down to reveal a strap you hadn't seen before. It was different in shape and colour but the most noticeable different was the absence of the harness. You moaned softly at the realization it was anchored inside her.

"I want to feel it with you." Carol said as she lowered herself back towards you and placed her hands either side of your head and kissed your neck.

"Are you sure?" You asked tentatively. It would be the first time Carol had been on the receiving end to such a level. The most you had done was go down on her a few times.

"Yes, I trust you. I love you." She grinned and lined the strap up with your entrance.

"I love you too." You had really started to enjoy saying that to her.

You moaned breathlessly as Carol inched the strap into you carefully and kissed along your jaw more. She moaned with you when she bottomed out and felt the strap dig deeper into her. Her hips twitched as she took a moment to gather her own composure and held your hands above your head, your fingers intertwined.

"I got you." You assured back to her as she started to pull out and push back in. Carol moaned loudly in response and held you closer to her as she started to build up a rhythm, your thigh slapping together.

You moaned in sync as the strap pleasured you both more and more. You wrapped your legs tightly around your girlfriend's waist to push the strap deeper inside you both.

You shuddered every time Carol's skin met yours. Carol started thrusting the toy faster and harder as she chased her own release.

"It's so good!" You cried out. You both struggled to form words, only managing breathless moans as the strap pressed firmly against your g-spots in sync.

"Me too, fuck, please Carol. Cum with me." You pleaded and gave a strangled moan. Carol shuddered and moaned louder than you had ever heard as she came undone at the same time as you.

"Y/n." Your girlfriend shuddered and started to grind her hips against yours as she rode out her high with you.

"It's okay, I got you." You said as you held onto Carol's bare back. You held her close to you as she breathed heavily against your neck, the irregular patterns starting to even out. She was still shaking so you planted soft kissed across the patches of her face that weren't hidden in your neck as you stroked her hair, a content smile on your lips.

She adjusted herself slightly and the pair of you moaned softly when she eased the toy out and put it on the floor. "I'll clean it later." She whispered, eyes closed, before you could say anything.

"Okay." You chuckled and brought her closer to you. You wrapped your arms around one another as your legs tangled together under the sheets.

Carol's soft breath caressed your skin as you stroked her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. A faint smile played across her lips at the action, confirming that she was just as happy as you were.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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