#sorry this one took so long I’ve spent the last month just staring at it

[hollytree33]

JUDGEMENT

Finally, her fourth and final card for Trespasser!!

1. The Hanged Man

2. The Chariot

3. The High Priestess

[joelsgreys]

lean on me

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: It's been three months since you and Joel left your baby daughter with Bill and Frank in Lincoln; you aren't coping well and Joel tries to help you get through it.

pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA ((TW)) though it is not explicitly stated, it is implied reader is suffering from postpartum depression. mentions of being unable to breastfeed. angst, hurt, comfort, tiniest hint of fluff at the end.

word count: 3.7k

a/n: this was only meant to be a short drabble, but it ended up getting longer than i anticipated. sorry for more angst.

September, 2020

Joel had known things would get bad.

But he hadn’t expected for them to get this fucking bad.

He glanced across the table at Tess, quietly asking, “She eat today?”

Tess let out a small sigh, shaking her head. “Nope.” She picked up her chipped, ceramic mug and took a sip of crappy, two decades old dark roast coffee and stated, “She didn’t eat anything yesterday, either. Or the day before that or the one before that. I can barely get her to take a fucking sip of water these days.”

“Fuckin’ hell, Tess! We can’t just sit around watchin’ her starve herself,” he hissed at her, his hands curling into fists on the table. 

She shot him an irritated look. “You think I don’t know that already?”

“Tess—”

“What are we going to do, Joel? Pin her down and force feed her?”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his lips pressing together in a tight, thin line. He glanced over at you with a heavy, sinking feeling inside of his chest at the mere sight of your current state. 

You were sitting on the bed in the same pair of gray sweatpants you’d been wearing for the last couple of days, your knees pulled up to your chest as you stared blankly, vacantly, out of the window beside you at absolutely nothing. You were beginning to appear frail—the current tone of your skin was so dull, so washed out that anybody who took one glance at you would probably think that you had spent your entire life locked away in some basement, never having seen the fucking sunshine before. The pallor of your skin was only emphasized by the dark, bruise-like circles underneath your eyes, courtesy of the long and sleepless nights you’d been having, especially lately. 

You had fallen deep into a sadness, a darkness—one so deep that you had become nothing but a mere shadow of your former self. You were an empty shell of a human being and it was starting to scare the fucking shit out of Joel. 

“Maybe if we took her to see the baby?” Tess suggested, quietly. She took another sip of her coffee and then set her mug down. “Frank has been wondering why you two haven’t been over there to see her. Hell, even Bill is curious why I’ve been going over there alone.” After having done some digging around, Tess managed to find someone in the QZ who had helped her get her hands on homemade infant formula; it was worth gold and only ever went to officials of a higher ranking who could actually afford it. Somehow, she’d pulled a few strings and the next thing Joel knew, Tess was loading a pack full of cans to take over to Lincoln. She’d made a couple more trips since then, and each time, she had gone alone. “It’s been over three months, Joel. Maybe it’s finally time—maybe it would help her.”

“In her condition?” Joel shook his head, adamantly. “No. For one, she wouldn’t fuckin’ make it a mile down the road before collapsing—from exhaustion, from starvation, you name it. And even if she could make the trip somehow, the truth is, she’s not ready to see her.” He lowered his voice to keep you from overhearing him, although at this point, he was certain that you were too zoned out to even pay attention. Every word was probably going in through one ear and out the other. “I hate to say it, but she’s just not strong enough to see her yet, Tess.”

“And what about you, Texas? What’s your excuse?”

He glared at her. “You really think I can leave her here alone in a state like this while we go skippin’ off to Lincoln together?”

“Good point.” Tess paused and peered curiously at him. “You haven’t even told her what they named her, have you?”

“Don’t think that’s such a good idea right now, either.” Joel held back a heavy sigh as he looked down into his own mug of shitty coffee. A huge part of him wished that she hadn’t told him what Bill and Frank ended up naming the baby. Since then, his daughter’s name echoed in the back of his mind, over and over again, damn near constantly.

“Joel, if we don’t do something, she’s going to wind up—” Tess could see his jaw clench again and she stopped herself, choosing her words more carefully. “She’s walking on thin ice. She’s not eating, she’s not sleeping. She’s already been in lockup twice this week alone because she can’t even keep up with work detail anymore. I know this is hard for you to hear, but if something doesn’t change soon, things are only going to get worse from here—she’ll get worse. You’re the only one of the two of us who actually has a chance of getting through to her and you need to fucking do something.”

“Tess, I’ve tried—”

“Well fucking try harder, Joel. If you don’t, you’ll fucking lose her. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Joel rubbed his face tiredly with both of his hands. He knew it was nothing but the truth that she was speaking, but goddamn the truth fell onto his shoulders heavy, almost too heavy. It felt as though he were carrying the weight of the entire fucking planet. But she was right. If something wasn’t done, he was going to lose you. “Tess, you mind if I have a minute alone with her?”

She nodded and took one last gulp of coffee before standing up from the table. “Yeah. I have to go see Robert and a couple of his buffoons about something anyway.” As she walked past him towards the door, she stopped and tossed him a pointed look. “Maybe today is the day that you finally decide to give her that thing that you’ve been carrying around in your pocket,” she suggested. “We went through a lot of shit for it, Joel. It’s the reason we have been drinking crappier coffee than usual for the last two weeks.”

He nodded, watching her as she grabbed her jacket and left.

After a minute or two, Joel finally pushed himself away from the table and rose to his feet. He made his way over to you, and he wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised at how you didn’t turn to acknowledge him despite the sound of his heavy boots on the creaking hardwood floor. He said your name as he came closer to you, but you remained as still as a stone statue, your eyes still fixed outside of the window.

“Alright,” he said, standing next to you at the side of the bed, both of his hands placed firmly on his hips. “Enough is fuckin’ enough. I can’t and I won’t let you keep carryin’ on like this. Either you get up and get your ass over to that table and eat somethin’ or I’m going to pick you up off of this bed, take you over there, and feed you myself. And don’t think I won’t. I’ll tie you down to the chair if that’s what I’ve gotta do.”

Finally, you turned to look at him. You spoke, your voice sounding just as fragile as you looked. “I’m not hungry.”

Joel’s expression immediately softened.

Fuck. 

He couldn’t be tough on you, not in the state you were in—he thought being hard on you would be the way to get through to you, but he just didn’t have it in him to be stern with you, not when you were like this.

“Baby. Please.” He knelt down beside you, reaching for your hand. He winced at how frigid your hand felt in his palm, as if he were holding a block of ice. He brought his other hand up and placed it on top, doing his best to warm it up with both of his. “Look, I get it. I know that you miss her. I know that you’re hurtin’ over her. You might not think I get it, but I do.” He paused, feeling sick to his stomach upon noticing the lifelessness in your eyes. He almost wished that he could see you cry, because at least he would know for certain that you were still in there somewhere—but Joel hadn’t seen you shed a single tear since you’d broken down sobbing in his arms that night in Lincoln. “You just can’t keep goin’ on like this. You don’t eat, you’ve barely slept in weeks. You keep fallin’ behind with all your work assignments and you’ve landed yourself in lockup more times than I can fuckin’ count because of it.”

You simply shrugged, as if you couldn’t give two shits about any of it.

Joel managed to bite back his sigh of frustration. He knew that losing his temper would do nothing more than sink you further into the hole you were currently in. But he was angry. He was just so fucking angry about about everything. Here you were, just slipping right through his fucking fingers, slowly fading away right before his own two eyes and he didn’t know what to do to stop it from happening. He felt lost. He felt hopeless—useless. 

He squeezed your hand out of desperation. He would fucking plead if he had to. “I need you to fuckin’ snap out of it. Please,” he begged, as he continued holding your hand tightly, holding onto it as if he were holding onto dear life itself. “Please, for the love of fuckin’ god, I need you to just snap out of it. If not for yourself, fuckin’ do it for me—do it for her.”

“Snap out of it?” You repeated. “You want me to just snap out of it?”

“Baby, please just listen to me for one goddamn second—”

You snatched your hand out of both of his. “I can’t just fucking snap out of it, Joel!” You nearly shouted at him, speaking the loudest he’d heard you speak in several weeks. “Alright? I can’t snap out of it! My heart is shattered into pieces, don’t you fucking understand that?”

“‘Course I do. Givin’ her up was hard for me too,” he reminded you quietly, resisting the urge to match your tone. 

“And I don’t deny that,” You prefaced yourself. “I know it was hard on you too, Joel. But you’re not the one who came this close, this damn fucking close to aborting her.” You held up your index finger and your thumb close together. You’d started trembling as everything seemed to catch up to you all at once—sleep deprivation, malnourishment and of course, the emotions you had been bottling up inside of you for the last three months. “You’re not the one who carried her inside of your womb for almost nine months, who felt every one of her flutters and her kicks. You’re not the one who had to go through the excruciating pain of giving birth to her in this crumbling apartment, only to have to place her in someone else’s arms and leave her behind three days later. You’re not the one who had to deal with the aftermath, Joel. Do you know how much it fucking hurt not to be able to feed her? How much it fucking sucked to have to wait for your milk supply to dry up because you no longer had a baby to feed?”

For the first time in a long time, Joel was left speechless. 

He didn’t know what to say. Hell, there was nothing he could say.

Because you were absolutely fucking right.

None of what you’d just said to him was a lie. Of course he knew that giving the baby up had been a hundred times harder on you than it’d been on him—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. He thought back to the nights when he would see you sitting there with your own arms wrapped around your chest, knowing you were aching, knowing that although you said nothing about it, you were in unbearable pain from being unable to breastfeed. 

And what could he do about it?

Not a goddamn fucking thing.

Still, Joel had tried. He always made the attempt to comfort you, only to be shot down time and time again. He’d been so used to being the one who rejected any kind of support that, when the tables had been turned on him, he hadn’t known how to handle it. Joel could feel the guilt slowly creeping in as he wondered if perhaps he just hadn’t tried hard enough for you. He was your partner—it was his duty to take care of you, to look out for you, to protect you, and yet here he was, failing to do any of that. 

He could have done more. 

He should have done more.

Especially after all the friction he’d caused from the beginning of your pregnancy. From letting you go to those crooked motherfuckers for a procedure that could have cost you your life, down to the way he had treated you the night you’d brought up Sarah, it seemed as though all Joel had been doing was fucking up, time after time. 

Seeing the expression on Joel’s face, you immediately knew what he must have been thinking. Your eyes widened and you quickly uttered a nearly breathless apology. “Joel, I’m so fucking sorry—”

He stopped you, tightly shaking his head. “No, don’t be. It’s true, it’s all fuckin’ true.”

Finally, after three months of bone-dry eyes, a warm tear slipped out, falling down the side of your face. Your entire body shuddered as the flood gates opened and more followed in suit, each one falling faster, harder than the last. The next thing you knew, Joel had pulled himself up onto the mattress beside you, pulling you into his arms just as you had started sobbing. With one hand, he delicately cradled the back of your head as you cried and cried into his shoulder. The other rubbed a soothing circle into your back over and over again. 

And just like that night in Lincoln, Joel just held you, waiting patiently as you finally allowed yourself to release each and every single one of your emotions out into the open. He didn’t say a word to you, nor did he attempt to stop the tears—he just held you close, merely using his touch to silently let you know that he would wait as long as he had to until you were finished.

“Joel,” You sniffed his name, your hands clutching fistfuls of his shirt.

“I’m right here, baby,” he assured you, holding you even closer against him, as close as humanly possible. His heartbeat was right in your ear and you closed your eyes, listening to it and letting it calm you. “I told you I wasn’t gonna let you carry this pain alone, darlin’. You remember that?”

You nodded against his chest, whispering, “I remember.”

“Well then, you’ve gotta let me help you,” Joel said into your hair. “For three months, I’ve been tryin’ but you just keep pushin’ me away. It doesn’t work like that. I need you to lean on me. I need for you to let me back in and help you because the road you’re headin’ down right now is a dangerous one.” 

Opening your eyes, you pulled away from him slightly, just far enough to meet his worried gaze. You could see the absolute fucking hell that you had been putting him through and felt your heart clench painfully inside of your chest. “I know I can’t keep going on like this, Joel,” You admitted softly to him. “Believe me, I know that. I tried so hard to get a fucking grip. There have been so many days where I think to myself, today is the day that I’m going to get my shit together. But then I just think of her sweet and innocent little face and I just fall apart all over again.” You muffled another sob with the palm of your hand.

“Oh, baby.” He gave your body a gentle, but firm squeeze. If he could take your pain away, all of it, and carry it along with his own, he would do it in a fucking heartbeat. 

You swallowed harshly. “I know she is far better off where she is, Joel, I know that she is. I never want her falling into the hands of FEDRA. It kills me to think of her being here in this shitty fucking place, going to their shitty fucking school.” Your voice broke at the mere thought of it all. “We know what would happen, Joel. As soon as she comes of age and meets their requirement, they will put her through their recruiting program. After her training, they either deem her worthy of becoming a fucking ruthless officer or they will give her the shittiest civilian jobs making her work for scraps of nothing, the same way they do to us.”

Joel sighed, rubbing your back again. “I know, baby. I know. It’s why we did what we did. We did what we had to do to spare her from that shit.”

“But then there’s this selfish part of me that wants her back so badly, so fucking badly that it makes me fucking ache,” You confessed, guilt lacing your tone of voice. “I just want the hurt to stop. I want to be at peace with the decision that we made, but the way I miss her, it feels almost impossible. I feel like I’ll never be able to accept that this is the way things have to be.”

“You have to accept it—we have to accept it. We ain’t got a choice,” Joel spoke the truth to you as gently as he could, though he knew it wouldn’t make a difference.

“I know,” You whispered, your eyes glazing over with fresh tears.

He stared at you for a moment and then pressed his lips against your forehead. Deciding it was time to show you what he’d been keeping a secret from you, Joel reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small, crumpled up wad of brown tissue paper. With one of his arms still around you, he used both of his hands to unwrap the tissue paper only to reveal a delicate silver chain—a bit too old to be shiny, but still in good shape nonetheless. Joel picked it up and tossed the tissue off to the side. He held it up in front of you to give you a better look at it. 

A single white pearl hung from the chain. 

“Joel, where did you get this?” You gasped lightly, taking it from him with trembling fingers. You didn’t even want to know what the hell he must have had to do or trade for it. Sure, jewelry was one of the most useless items that anyone could possess in this world because it no longer had any monetary value, but if someone wanted something bad enough and another person had it, then advantage was going to be taken somewhere, somehow. 

“Don’t you worry ‘bout that, darlin’.”

You glanced up at him, an incredulous look in your eyes. “Joel.”

He almost chuckled, knowing you wouldn't let him off that easy. “I’d mentioned to Tess that I wanted to get you somethin’ special to carry around with you, somethin’ that would remind you of her. Tess said a pearl was the birthstone for June, and so I asked her to help me find one a few weeks ago. She found some guy and I cut a deal for it. But that’s all I’m tellin’ you.”

Joel took the necklace from you and beckoned for you to turn around for him. Moving your hair aside, he reached around you and clasped it at the back of your neck. “I’d rather only you wear it when you’re here in the apartment. Once you go outside, it stays hidden in your pocket so no one sees it, alright?”

You turned back around to face him. “I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you did this for me, Joel.” You reached for his hands and held them tightly in your own as you shot him a sincere, grateful look. “Thank you.”

He leaned forward, lightly brushing his mouth against yours. “Baby?”

“Yes?” You murmured against his lips.

Joel squeezed your hands, hesitating for a moment before he said, “I know I’ve only ever said it to you once—that night. Outside of Bill and Frank’s place. But I need you to know that I love you. The truth is, I’ve been lovin’ you for a long time now. Never had it in me to admit it, not even to myself.” His eyes met yours in such a tender way that you felt a part of your broken heart begin to heal itself. It was just a small part, and you knew that unless you had your daughter back, it would never mend itself completely. Still, it was enough to give you a sense of hope. It was just enough to remind you that you would be able to find the strength in you to survive this pain. If you had any reason to keep going, it was right there it front of you. It was Joel. “I love you. I’m gonna do everythin’ that I can to help you through this. All you’ve gotta do is lean on me, alright?”

“I love you, Joel.” Though you’d said it to him once before, it still felt a bit foreign to say out loud.

It felt right, though. And it felt right hearing him say it to you. 

Reaching up, you lightly clasped the pearl in your hand. You leaned into Joel’s chest and felt him wrap his arms around you. 

“Y’know,” Joel said, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen over you, “Tess said Frank’s been wondering why we haven’t been over to see her yet. I know it might still be a bit too soon for you, but—” He let his sentence trail.

Though he didn’t say it out loud, you could hear it in his voice.

He wanted to see the baby.

“I’m not ready for that just yet,” You admitted. “I want to see her more than anything, but look at me. I’m a fucking mess.” You paused, clutching onto the pearl a little tighter. “Maybe we can try in a few weeks? What do you think?”

Joel kissed the top of your head. “Soon as you’re ready, say the word and we’ll go.”

[thefrontofmymind]

surprise? (matty healy x reader drabble)

a/n: this is just a little idea i had, something to tide you all over while i keep working on Might As Well. xxx

SYNOPSIS: you find a ring in Matty's belongings, spoiling a pretty big surprise he had planned

WC: 499

All you were doing was trying to help Matty out. He’d just gotten back from tour and collapsed into bed in the middle of the night. Now at a normal time for a person to be awake, he was still not even stirring as you began a day of housework around him–you checked he was still alive, he was breathing.

You wiped down counters and bathroom tile, you dusted every surface, as well as the intricate details of all Matty’s awards that sat on the shelf in your living room. There was just one last thing to make the place completely spotless, his suitcase at the door of your bedroom, practically burning a hole in your thoughts. You thought you should wait for Matty to sort out his clothes to go in the laundry–what was clean, what wasn’t–but you knew him best by now to know that this job was mostly guesswork for him, so it was easier to just throw it all into the wash and ask for forgiveness later.

You dragged the suitcase into your small laundry room–not easily, he’d packed for over a month away and you know he had to pay extra for heavier luggage on all the flights he took. You opened it and quickly began sorting and organising all his clothes–mostly wrinkled button-ups and socks that you were sure there was an odd number of.

As you pulled out a pair of trousers–plain black, like most of the one Matty owned–you felt something in the front right pocket, some kind of cube. You got your hand on it, it felt soft, like velvet.

A box; red, and velvet like you thought. You opened it and tears sprung to your eyes and your breath caught in your throat. The most beautiful diamond ring you’d ever seen–a blue gem, a sapphire, probably, surrounded by a cluster of small white diamonds on a golden band. You stared at it for a good couple of minutes, just sitting on the floor surrounded by clothes. You didn’t even hear Matty groggily trudge around the house looking for you.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he said, standing in the doorway. He just about gave you a heart attack.

“I’m sorry…” You couldn’t fight the smile on your face and the layer of tears coating your eyes was getting thicker and thicker.

“I had this whole surprise planned and I was going to ask you all romantically…” He quietly chuckled while kneeling down next to you. “Do you like it, at least? I can get another one if you don’t, anything you want.”

“No! No, I love it,” you reassured him. “It’s gorgeous…”

“Good.” He smiled. “Spent months finding the perfect one…”

“Well it is perfect…” You answered. “So can I wear it now that I’ve found it?”

“No way in hell!” He laughed. “I still have the plan! You just have to wait!”

“Well how long, hmm?” 

“I’m gonna wait extra long now just to make you squirm…”

[when-pigsfly]

WITCHING HOUR, CH 2/3 — [18+]

(18+) - MARKED FOR EVENTUAL SMUT, MINORS DNI!

fem!reader x arthur morgan

summary: the prodigal son returns tags: marked 18+ for smut in later chapters, reader has a backstory kinda (but now a little more than kinda), original side character(s), does arthur count as a tag, he needs his own warning, its more exposition please don't leave

word count: 4.9k

a/n: HERE! DAMN! (i'm so sorry this took so long)

<< previous chapter

you can find a link to the playlist here! tag list (look how crazy. i have a LIST.): @photo1030

The subsequent mornings are painted with varying shades of gloom. It was smeared over the sky in thick coats, and if it was just a little thicker, it might be able to keep out the spears of light. 

Sometimes, they tickle. Sometimes, they recoil from the rigid mounds of snow and blind you and anything else unfortunate enough to get caught in the line of fire. Pain in the ass, really. A particularly nasty pain in the ass flickers in the cloudy metal of your spoon one morning while you’re shoveling grits into your mouth.

“You planning on eating the table too, kid?”

Your eyebrows shoot up, as does your spine once you lower your spoon back into the chipped bowl. 

“My apologies,” you gulp. “You’ll uh, have to forgive me, Mrs. Campbell. Seems the winter air’s gotten to my head.”  

Mrs. Campbell was a wiry, dark-haired woman of 63, and had spent more time rearing cattle than children. She was rough, tough, and at present, leveling you with a stare so doubtful that you wonder if the look you often catch on the livestock is embarrassment. 

After holding your gaze for a few moments more, she resumes the rocking of her chair from the corner and returns to her darning. A large red sock, the same one she’d whacked Mr. Campbell over the head with after she’d found it on the floor of the living room only thirty minutes ago.

“No, no, you’re alright.” Mrs. Campbell pauses, though her hands continue to work. Under, over. In, out. Not a single finger pricked. “Think that’s the most I’ve seen you take down in one sitting, is all. You bite like a bird.” She makes a funny chewing motion with her mouth—or, at least you think it’s supposed to be funny. It seems to amuse her well enough; most strange things did. 

She then asks how much horse feed is left, and you tell her enough to last for the next two weeks. You ask how her daughter’s baby boy is doing, she tells you he’s been picking his nose, and the two of you return to your respective distractions: the pulling of thread and a spoon fishing around a now empty dish while you consult silently with the peeling floral wallpaper. 

Arthur Morgan’s appearance had set you on edge, loathe as you were to admit it. The fact that there’d been no sign of him since you’d first spoken only hastened the growing dread, more so than the lack of response after your father’s men had been so kindly disposed of. 

Contingencies had been thoroughly accounted for, leaving you mildly inconvenienced at best and dead at worst. There were other conclusions you’d drawn up, of course, but dealing in extremes had its benefits.

You press your thumb absentmindedly into the corner of the dining room table. Could the Campbells have heard your exchange? No, they couldn’t have, too old. And that was excluding the fact that the main house was rather far from the cabin. Given the time frame, it would have been well beyond what was reasonable for your…situation to have been brought up. 

Besides, this was important. Better to sort this out now than when—if—he showed up at your doorstep again.

“I have a question.”

Mrs. Campbell snorts. “I presume you’re lookin’ for an answer.”

You set your spoon down, and stand to clear the table. “Do the two of you get…stray cats often?”

This time her hands waver. “During the warmer months, sure. But in this weather? I mean, if it had the guts to get through all that ‘winter air,’ I don’t see why not.” Her eyes flick up. “Would have to be real hungry, though. Or stupid, which I doubt, ‘cause cats ain’t stupid—sonuvabitch!” 

You jerk as her needle clatters to the floor. She lets a curse slip as she hunches over to retrieve it; another follows as she tugs the string loose, just a little, and her fingers trip over themselves before falling back into a steady rhythm. 

Her brows pinch in concentration. “Never met a stupid cat,” she repeats.

“I…I see.” Moving around to the other side of the table to collect what's left, you frown when you catch your warped reflection in a bent spoon. You pick it up, and your fingers brush over the bump unconsciously. “I saw one,” you say slowly. Mind fumbling over any disastrous outcomes. “A cat, I mean. He’s been hanging around my cabin for a while now. I was only asking ‘cause he’s been spooking the chickens.”

When Mrs. Campbell doesn’t answer, your mouth gets the better of you. “Only, he turned up again a couple nights ago. Acting real docile, you see.” Not docile. The farthest thing from it. “Nearly shot him then and there, but—oh, he just looked so pitiful! He’s real mean looking, all scratched up and such, but I was tired, so when shooing him off didn’t work I let him in. Didn’t hiss, didn’t bite, nothing. But, I think I may have scared him. Skittered right out the door, quick as lightning. He’s been pissin’ me off—pardon my language—but, I just don’t see why he’d go through all that trouble to show up if he was just looking to leave the moment I raised so much as a finger.”

You only cease your rambling once you realize that you’ve bent the spoon too far in the wrong direction. “I…should turn him away, shouldn’t I? If he shows up again?”

Mrs. Campbell lets out an exasperated exhale, smooths out her apron, and sets her mangled sock down in her lap. “He kill any chickens?”

“No, but—”

“You feed him?”

“No?”

“Well, I think you should. It’d be real funny.”

Funny. Funny, she’d said. 

You look to the silverware for consolation, but they can only produce a weak gleam.

“Quit making faces at my utensils, I hate when you do that. If you got something to say, say it now so I can finish this damned sock.”

Instead of making faces at the spoons, you reserve them for the tablecloth. “I just—don’t think it’d be wise.” A wanted man, with a lofty bounty at that, and you were comparing him to a mangy feline. Attempting to see him as anything other than what he so obviously was would be disingenuous. 

And maybe Mrs. Campbell wasn’t the right person to be speaking to about this, because her nose crinkles with such distaste that you have to remind yourself that you’d remembered to bathe. “You’re grown,” she says, “and you work here. I’m inclined to believe that you have enough know-how to keep yourself from doing anything too dumb. If not, oh well.”

“…Right.”

Sometimes you wonder if her daughter had moved out not for marriage, but to escape Mrs. Campbell’s dreadfully indifferent way of speaking. Still, you take her words with relative care and pray that the “feeding” portion of her advice can be altered into something much more metaphorical.

When you attempt to bring the dishes to the water bucket, Mrs. Campbell’s head snaps to you and she clicks her teeth. “Drop it.”

“I was just—”

The sock finds its way into a basket of other half-finished projects at her feet, and she pushes herself up to stand just as tall (if not taller) than any tree before snatching the dishes from your hands. “I don’t pay you to do my dishes, girl.”

You smile. “I don’t believe you pay me at all, Mrs. Campbell.”

“Precisely. Your Pa pays me. And enough with that ‘Mrs. Campbell’ mess; makes me sound like an old crone. Told you to call me Fran, didn’t I?”

Shrugging past the bitterness in her tone at the mention of your father, you turn to the doorway and pull your coat off of the hook you’d tossed it on the night before. It’s only slightly warm from where the sun has touched it. 

The beams have softened their assault on the curtains; it’s still fairly cloudy, but there’s no sign of incoming snow. Chores would be alright, if only for today. 

“I’ll work on it, Mrs. Campbell. But, I do have one more question, if you don’t mind.” You wait for a nod while you pull on your boots with a wince. “How come you don’t take on any other help?”

Like most of her responses, Mrs. Campbell doesn’t give much away. Nothing remarkable that you can discern, at least. She merely winks and carries on with her washing. But just as you set a foot out the front door, she calls out to you. 

“Hey, kid?”

You turn.

“If the worst you can call him is a spooked cat, he can’t be all that bad, can he?” 

You freeze. “Pardon?”

She looks up at the ceiling, as though her next words will appear if she gets her eyes to narrow enough. Glasses had been the first of many neglected suggestions you’d offered upon your arrival. You’d even offered to buy them yourself, with what little you’d been able to bring with you. But Mrs. Campbell, being Mrs. Campbell, had simply laughed.

Squinting, she returns her focus to the bucket and reaches for a cake of lye soap. “Ah, and tell that idiot if he slams my doors, I’ll send my foot so far up his ass that them science folks won’t have any animals left to call him.”

__

Illusory warmth finds you a few weeks later.

It isn’t quite spring yet; winter is a stubborn mule, and though the snow has receded into the dirt it still stamps its hooves into the wind. In the water, too—freezing rain taps its fingers onto the windows. Soft and melodic, it nearly puts you to sleep from your place on the floor before you remember the annoyances it’s dragged along with it. 

There’d been no sign of trouble tonight, and the chicken wire had been reinforced a few hours prior. That’d mostly been the work of Mr. Campbell, though. He’d chirped about some promise he’d made to his “lovely wife,” and went on his merry way after leaving you with some choice words from the wife in question about the importance of rest. 

The rain had started not long after. Which was great, for someone out there. But, bad for you. Pretty bad. Ugly, messy bad—because it was cold, dark, and the dirt hadn’t the moral backbone to keep itself together for any longer than two blinks before your boots were practically swimming in it. 

The trudge back to the cabin was only slightly humiliating, considering the fact that the sole witnesses were the owls you knew were hiding out in the safety of the trees. 

Scampering from the uneven path to the front porch, however, was another story. Although the pliant (no good, backstabbing) earth was quick and eager to drag you to its depths, you were aggravated enough to be slightly quicker, and your palms shot out to catch you just before your chin could meet the full wrath of the wood.

But the word “just” was a pebble cast into a pond, and the first ripple was the metallic tang that flooded your mouth. Diatribes were spat onto the ground alongside the blood, tongue throbbing with a vengeance before you drove the heels of your palms down to push yourself up. The second ripple was a little less red, but just as irritating. The rain had pulled the wet fabric of your work shirt and trousers tight over your limbs, and it had begun to border on painful when water droplets struck like one might strike the skin of a drum. 

“I’m grateful, I’m grateful, I’m oh so fucking grateful…” It was a mantra you often found yourself repeating whenever nature’s pranks sought to drive you mad. Rain was good. Rain was fine, actually, so you’d ignored the creaking of your knees and hobbled your way inside.

And here you sit: back propped up against the wall, shivering like a fool with your knees tucked into your chest. The mud crusting between your fingers barely registers while you work on releasing yourself from your wet clothing.

Which, of course, is when the light tapping on the window takes its cue to crescendo. It’s a rather flimsy cloak for the uneven thunks outside that make no attempt to conceal themselves. But your bones know better. 

Awful timing, that man. 

You feel the weight of his fist against the door before he makes contact. 

(One.)

You shoot up.

(Two.)

You lunge for the table.

You decide against greeting him with the rifle, which is a significant improvement. It’s a revolver. But you did have the good sense not to kick the door again; the rusty hinges were fragile enough without your meddling. Instead, you let it creak open with one hand on the doorknob.

You’re met with a bruise, planted right atop a cheekbone. A swollen bottom lip, blood threatening to split it wide. He’s got a button missing from his rumpled jacket, and the caving of the porch underneath his feet clues you in on the fact that he’s favoring his right leg. He’s been fighting. Fighting, and he looks about ready to keel over and die. Or pick another fight. Probably both.

Part of you unwinds at the sight of him, battered as he was. Present as he was. But the more logical part of you senses that he’s here for something, and the even more logical part of you remembers exactly what it was that stood at your doorstep.

It’s then that the stench of alcohol hits you, and the familiar smell of mud sweeps in not long after. Arthur is completely covered in it, save for his face. And—

There. There it is again.

That look. 

Your pulse trips in your throat, and you pray that he’s inebriated enough to ignore it. “You’re on my porch. Why?”

Bright blue comes back into focus, and his hands fall to his hips. “I can go where I damn well please.”

“That’s all well and good, but why are you on my porch?”

He sniffs. Peers just over your shoulder. “...House call.”

You step to block him. “Now that’s two chances. I have it on good authority that one is just fine these days, but I’m feeling generous.” And confused. Extremely confused.

His face contorts into a heatless grimace, and the doorknob squeals. You’re suddenly reminded of the odd tales of shapeshifters you’d stumbled upon as a child: one moment a man, the next a bloodthirsty predator. Not a particularly helpful development—especially since your talk with Mrs. Campbell—but it was a development nonetheless.

Arthur rattles off the courtesies typically extended toward esteemed guests while you look him over again, and your eyes lock onto his hair. Another familiar connection—doe brown strands, streaked with mud and nearly plastered to his head from the light downpour. Much less ferocious than the rest of him. But, tonight, if you have to pick, he’s a wet dog. A wet, potentially drunk dog, who was missing his hat. 

And suddenly, the natural chatter of the trees comes to a halt. 

“What’d you just call me?”

…You idiot.

“I didn’t call you jack shit,” you lie. Arthur gives a loose smirk, and your next protests become nothing but bluster. “What, the little girl that hit you knock your ears shut?”

“Figured I’d let her get a hit in, out of the kindness of my big ol’ heart.” Arthur sways on his feet a bit, peering down at you through the water that he hasn’t bothered to wipe from his lashes. Gravity finds eventual triumph, and he leans into the post before eying the revolver still in your hands. “Don’t suppose you’re plannin’ on pullin’ that trigger any time soon.”

“What’s it to you?”

Arthur’s face begins to harden, and he crosses his arms tight over his chest. “You know, last time I was here I said you were lucky. Well, I’d like to make an addendum: lucky and stupid, lady.” 

You cast a disbelieving look at the leg he’s been keeping his weight off of. “And you’re drunk. The fact that you got here without your horse cracking your head open is a miracle.”

His brows draw low, and he rubs the heel of his boot against the muddy spot where you’d fallen earlier. Blinks at the ground. Then, with the vigor of a child caught sleeping in church, wipes angrily at a speck of mud on his thigh. “M’not drunk,” he finally mutters, flicking the offending dirt out into the yard and crossing his arms again. “And I’ve got enough trust in my horse to fill at least half of that barn y’all got.”

“Just half? Not the whole thing?”

“Whole thing would be two horses.”

You almost laugh. Almost. When you don’t reply, his eyes drop back down to the gun, gaze contemplative. “You got any idea how easily I could’ve knocked that flimsy thing outta your hands?”

“Why of course I do, Mr. Morgan.” The dampness you’d been struck with pulls at you, bones heavy and patience now worn thin. You give the revolver an exaggerated twirl, the metal snatching what can be seen of the moon through the rain and reflecting it at him. “I’m real lucky you’re here to tell me so, ain’t I? Matter of fact, why don’t you go and fetch me my chair before I topple right on over? ” 

“That ain’t what I meant, and you know it.” You think he sounds somewhat regretful. But somewhat isn’t enough. 

“Do I now,” you say dryly. “You seem to ‘not mean’ an awful lot.” 

Arthur pushes himself off of the post with his shoulder and shoves his muddy hands into his muddy pockets. “I just don’t see why you people are so eager to act like you got your life for dog-cheap.”

“You people?”

“Yeah, you heard me. You people.” He’s looking at everything but you now, eyes wild but body frighteningly still. “You’ll look trouble right in the eye, and lie right through your damn teeth till it gets you laid out cold in a ditch somewhere.” Arthur gestures to the embarrassing height your shooting arm has dropped to in the time that he’s spoken. “I can tell each time you open that door that you won’t shoot. Can’t, I’d argue, ‘cause if you didn’t have my big head within one inch of that barrel, you’d be some deep shit.” His words are a forlorn echo amidst the rain, now nothing more than a light haze. 

You could shut the door and go back inside, you think. Tell him he’s wrong, because he most certainly was. Peel out of your damp clothes, because standing outside in the chill spelled nothing but trouble. Arthur wouldn’t push. He was just as prone to bluffing as you were. 

And yet.

And yet.

“I could say the same about you. Don’t think your kin would take too kindly to the fact that you’re hangin’ around someone that knows your face. Who you are.” You steady your aim. “That’s a loose end, Arthur. You don’t seem like the type of man to keep many of those around.” It’s the first time you’ve said his name all night; you’re only sure because the moment it leaves you, his entire body tenses before he sags back against the wooden post. 

The way he looks at you then might be considered cruel and unusual punishment. You think of butterflies, embroidered into blankets from childhood. Tacked to the wall of your father’s study. The only difference between them and you is that you’re free to leave.

If only you possessed something to sweeten the deal—whatever deal you could come up with in the next five seconds. To mask the returning waver of your voice, now laden with inconceivable realities. “Am I a loose end, Arthur Morgan?” 

He opens his mouth to speak. Closes it. Untucks a hand from the arms he’s wrapped around himself to scrub at his beard and finally wipe at the water you’ve been eyeballing from his lids. He opens his mouth again, now on the precipice of what might be an explanation.

“S’dangerous,” is all he says.

You see red.

The arm holding the revolver is dropped so you can poke a finger into his chest. “You’re not making any sense!” Each word is enunciated with a jab, and you cringe at the feeling of rain rewetting the mud underneath your fingernails. “You cut and run, turn up drunk and beaten half to death, practically beg me to let you inside, and then you get upset when I say I won’t pop a bullet into your head?”

Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose, voice beginning to escalate. “Now if you would just listen for more than two seconds—”

You cut him down with a harsh whisper. “Listen? Listen?” Your eyes momentarily check for any sign of a light being turned on in the main house. Nothing. Your finger falls away then, and a violent chill wracks your body from head to toe. “No, you listen. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. You said your piece the last time we spoke, and you left, so why are you on my porch!”

“I don’t know!”

Something cracks, and your vision blurs when you whip your head to recheck the lights. Still nothing. The crack fizzles out into nothingness, and you return to find Arthur close. Awfully close. And your hand is warm and—oh.

It seems his pluck is rather contagious. The noise you’d heard wasn’t thunder, but the sound of your treacherous hand clapping right over Arthur’s mouth.  

Time stills. Or speeds up, more like. The only thing you can be certain of is that ring of greenish gold around his pupils. The brush of his lips against your palm. Humid air being released in slow, steady clouds. You briefly wonder what else this warmth has dominion over, save for your cupped hand. Who else. 

The speed of the exhales increases, and envy wriggles in the dirt of your heart like unearthed worms. Did his mind wander, as yours often did? Surely not as emphatically. It no doubt ambled from one thought to the next, attention snagged only when he had the energy to do so. Had you been interesting enough to snag his?

The spell is broken by a lamp flickering on in the distance. 

“Shit!”

Sheer panic sinks its claws into you before rationality can, and you’re curling a hand around Arthur’s wrist and yanking him inside before he can protest.

You’re both panting ragged breaths once the door shuts behind you, in spite of the mere two steps it’d taken to cross the entryway. Tangible confusion permeates the air, and Arthur looks at you expectantly. It’s only fair that the (secondary) perpetrator speak first.  

But words are tricky, tricky things. And as much as you partook in your fair share of falsehoods, finding the right ones when you didn’t feel that your life was on the line was an unfamiliar practice. 

Voice quiet, you blink at the muddy footprints on the floor. “You left my door open.”

“I remember,” he replies. Simple.

The silence returns, eerily reminiscent of your first encounter. You consider telling him about the warning Mrs. Campbell had wanted you to relay to him. But then you think about all of the other things he’s missed since he’s disappeared, and your mind becomes saturated with just about everything, and somehow nothing at all. But Arthur’s voice, once again, cracks the fragile quiet. 

“God damn it!” He begins to pace, rubbing at the shadows under his eyes. You’re thankful that he’s finally lowered his voice to a whisper, though the close quarters don’t seem to help with the intensity. “I ain’t supposed to be here. Not like this.”

“Not like what? Arthur what do you—” 

“This isn’t how this was supposed to go,” he says, voice edging on the side of desperation.

“How what was supposed to go?” You look at his hands, fumbling with his belt loops. He sucks in a brittle gulp of air when he catches you looking, like he’s surprised you’re looking at him at all. 

And then, miraculously, the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. 

“I’m to kill you. Ideally this evening.” 

Until it all promptly falls apart.

You turn away. Begin to work open the half done buttons of your shirt. Arthur turns to face the door. You decide to humor him. “Who.” 

“Some man, your Pa, I presume,” he says. For the first time in what feels like eternity, his voice is devoid of any feeling. It sounds small. Not defeated, not yet, but oh so small. “Willing to pay big bucks to get rid of a ‘financial thorn’ in his side. Knew ‘bout my business in Blackwater, which I assume you’re also aware of. Said he’d had some bonds on that boat.” Blunt fingernails scratch lightly at the curtains. “He said I could sniff things out, see if I wanted to to his dirty work.”

Shirt falling to the floor, you allow yourself some time to stew numbly in your naivety while you get the fire going; you could be disappointed all you wanted once you were warm. You can hear Arthur scrubbing at his beard again when you begin to drag a chair in front of the fireplace. You sit, or collapse rather, and shuck off your boots with little care for where they land. Where the mud splatters.

“How’s Marlene?” You ask.

Rustling. He’s turned around. More frantic rustling. He’s turned back to the wall. “I’m sorry?”

“Marlene. Chicken. ”

“Ah. She’s uh, good. Eating good. Still pecks like hell, though.”

And, once again, more silence.

You bark out a dry laugh. It hurts—hurts like hell, but it tumbles out of you with a sharp snap. It snowballs into pure, unadulterated laughter. Bouncing off the walls, the drinking glasses, the mud, right into the fire and back out again. It continues until you’re left with nothing but a pathetic wheeze rattling your lungs.

Settling into the back of the chair, your head lolls back till you can see an upside down version of the bewildered Arthur you’d turned away from. The angle is awkward, and the blood rushing to your head makes him look all warm and fuzzy, but it’s precisely why you’ve chosen it.

“Didn’t think finding all this out would be so funny.” He speaks as if poking a tiger.

Another half-hearted chuckle slips out of you. “Good god, I thought you were trying to proposition me.”

“Proposition you?” He scowls. “What on earth would I—” 

Arthur stops. Blinks one of his blinks. Gives his eyes another rub. Blinks again. He’s been doing that a lot, lately. This “blinking” thing.

“Oh.” He frowns.

Frowning right back, you push yourself to stand and toss some old papers from your table into the fire. “No need to seem so put off by it, gosh. Should’ve told me you were out for my head from the start. Would’ve made this a hell of a lot less embarrassing.” Disappointment had beat out the warmth.

You wait for an apology, or a joke. Or something. Anything. But you’re met with nothing. The paper eventually crumbles into nothing, too, smoke tickling your nostrils alongside the smell of rain.

His voice sounds from the back of the room.

“I didn’t say that.”

You whip around.

“Say what.”

He speaks as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I didn’t say I wasn’t. Interested, I mean.” When you point to yourself, he rolls his eyes. “No, the couch.”

There was no couch.

The two of you watch each other for a bit. Then Arthur finds another annoying spot on his thigh to rub at, and you’re watching him.

“You’re drunk,” you conclude, voice flat. You pull on a blanket, suddenly conscious of the bareness of your shoulders. “You’re drunk, or tired, or both. You weren’t here. I didn’t see you, you didn’t see me. Am I clear?”

You stand on wobbly feet and motion for him to leave.

“You don’t think I’m joking, do you? I meant what I said.” He brushes past your outstretched hand to clunk into the chair, mirroring that same awkward position you’d found yourself in earlier. Strong neck arched, fire light catching the water that’s begun to bead on his cheeks. “I don’t do charity. Don’t think I have the money for it, actually.”

“How kind of you.”

“I mean it. Truly.”

“Then come back tomorrow,” you blurt.

Fuck.

What the hell were you doing? “You come back tomorrow night, sober, and we’ll see.” No, we would not.

But it’s too late—Arthur is rebounding off of the chair, straightening out his jacket (he’s noticed the missing button, finally), and striding to the door before you can retract your mistake. Even so, you follow after him like a besotted moron, only stopping when he turns to face you once the door is back open.

“Tomorrow, then,” he says. Eyes dark. Searching.

And then he’s stooping down. Reaching for your hand. Pulling it to his dry lips, and pressing a chaste kiss right to the top of it. He chuckles when you shiver, still clutching the blanket tight around your shoulders.

You’re released soon after. And Arthur gives you one long look, tells you to lock your door, and leaves.

[seenoversundown]

Redamancy

Sam x Y/n (reader)

Warnings: pure fluff - it's a SLOW burn

Word Count : 3k

Redamancy : (n.) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

Oh Honey! (I Love You) - Peach Tree Rascals "Jumpin off the edge just to smell those flowers, and no I couldn't wait another day"

Walking through the door of the brewery, shivering from the rain, I scan the room looking for him. We always come here on Friday nights, sometimes his brothers will tag along, regardless of if they do we make it a point every week. 

After a minute, I see him with his warm smile staring right back at me. I make my way over to the table he’s saved, grateful that he got us a good spot tonight. Not that I could complain, Sam never makes me stand the whole night if it’s crowded. 

“Hey beautiful, what took you so long?” he asks while pulling me into his side.

“The rain sucks and nobody knows how to drive” I tell him through a sigh, “but, we’re here now” 

Sitting down across from him and setting my bag in the chair next to me, I quickly bring my attention back to him. 

“I already ordered your drink for you” he spits out before I could say anything. Sam has always been a very thoughtful guy, but in the last couple months he’s gotten a bit nicer to me. I’m not proud of the butterflies I get from it. 

“Well aren’t you sweet?” I giggle out. Watching that soft smile adorn his face from the compliment, feeling my stomach flip at the sight. 

“Only for you” 

I can feel the blood rushing to my face when my saving grace finally arrives. It’s impressive the way that the whole room suddenly gets louder when they show up. Turning around slightly, I see the twins making their way over to us. Per usual, Josh is greeting everybody and anybody who will say ‘hello’ back to him and Jake is herding him over to the table looking mildly embarrassed by his louder counterpart. 

“Well well well what has the storm blown in tonight?” Josh announces to the table, “A couple of love birds hmmm?” shooting a wink at me. 

“Josh, don’t embarrass her” Sam says quickly shutting down his brother. 

Josh simply giggles at Sam’s request, taking the seat next to me with Jake across from him. The server comes back with our drinks and takes the boys orders quickly. 

Quietly sipping on my drink, I can feel his stare burning into the side of my head as I look around. Turning back to find Sam’s eyes swiftly moving over to his brother, as if he was caught. That was weird? 

“Soooo.. how was your week, Sammy?” I try to break the mildly uncomfortable silence. 

“Way too long and busy. I’m so relieved to be here” he said, “seeing you is always a breath of fresh air”

There’s that warm feeling again, this time accompanied with the subtle bump of his knee against mine, leaving it there. Our legs are just .. touching. The way my mouth goes dry is a little shameful, this is my best friend and we’ve hugged, sat close, I’ve sat on his lap but this is making me warm and nervous?

“Oh stop” is all I could come up with, taking a sip of my drink to fill the moment until he gently pushes against my knee with his, making his presence known. Looking up from my drink to see his eyes looking back at me, we hold the contact for a moment before being interrupted. 

“Samuel,” Josh startles us both, “how’s about a game of billiards? Or would you rather keep staring at this lovely young lady instead?” I had to look like a deer in headlights with the roaring laugh that came out of Josh. 

Mouthing ‘sorry’ as he stood up, Sam followed Josh over to the pool tables begrudgingly. Watching him as he walked, admiring his features from afar, he really was so handsome. The way his hair looked when he pulled it into a bun, so soft with the little wispy hairs falling around his face. 

“You know he wants you too, right?” 

Taking me out of my thoughts hearing Jake’s voice was jarring at the moment. He was fairly soft spoken most of the time, probably because his twin spoke loud enough for the two of them. I hadn’t really spent much time around him, well, with just him. In group settings he tends to keep to himself unless he’s had a few drinks. 

“What do you mean? We’re just friends.” I tell him, it’s only a partial lie.

“Y/n, come on”, looking unamused, “anybody who spends thirty seconds around you two can see it.” 

I thought I was more subtle than that, fuck. 

“He talks about you constantly, he’s happiest when you’re around, I mean shit, I’ve watched him turn down girls for seemingly no reason.” He continues, making my head spin with information that I definitely knew but didn’t think about too hard. It’s Sam, my best friend, who I definitely have had feelings for.. for a while. 

“Josh and I have just been waiting for the day he finally asks you out, it’s just been a bit longer than we expected.”

Hesitantly I finally break my silence, “are you sure?”

The smile grows across his face, nodding ‘yes’, he reaches across the table to gently grab my forearm. 

“It’s always been you, y/n. He’s just been waiting for you to come around, but my baby brother is also not the best with subtleties. Tell him how you feel, I promise you nothing but good will come from it.” Jake squeezes my forearm with the softest look in his eyes. Maybe.. maybe I should tell him. 

I spend the next few minutes just talking with Jake until we both hear the other two coming back and it sounds like someone is a little bitter about losing. 

“You have a longer reach, which in my humble opinion, is an unfair advantage” Josh sourly says. Sam’s reaction to it is funnier than Josh being upset. The shit eating grin on his face as he walks towards me, the look in his eyes giving me those silly butterflies again. Maybe Jake was right, maybe he is waiting for me. 

I know that the only way to find out is to take that chance and see how he responds. I look at him through my lashes as he approaches the table, with a small smirk knowing that I’m about to hopefully bag the boy of my dreams. 

“I’m taking it that you won?” I ask.

“How could you tell?” he laughs out. Oh, his laugh will never get old. 

Josh, sitting back down next to me, clearly very annoyed that he lost, scrolled through his phone for less than a minute before getting up to grab another drink. I shoot my gaze back over to Sam watching him as he checks his phone, the way his features are so delicate, but he still somehow looks as if he could be carved from marble. The way his lashes sat against the tops of his cheeks when his eyes closed, he really is beautiful. I’ve always thought so but everything feels so real now. 

“Well,” Jake says, standing up from the table, “I’m going to take the angry one home, from the way he’s talking to the bartender right now I can tell he isn’t gonna be much fun now.” He lets out a small chuckle, grabbing both of Sam’s shoulders and squeezing them while sliding past him. 

“Good job beating him Sammy boy, i’ll text you when we make it home”, as he goes to walk away, Jake looks over to me and gestures with a small nod towards Sam before giving me a small wave as he goes to find Josh. 

“I’m sorry about Josh” Sam starts, “he isn’t a pleasant winner either if you’re wondering”

I can’t help but laugh along with him, I want to make him laugh like this all the time. I readjust in my chair a bit, casually (very intentionally) brushing my foot along his calf. I carefully watch his face as I pull this little move, waiting to see how he reacts. The way his cheeks quickly turned a shade of pink, I thought to myself, thank you Jake, hoping that somehow he heard it. 

Sam, clearly being a bit nervous, clears his throat before pushing his chair back. 

“Do you want another drink?”

“That would be lovely actually”

He reaches out to grab my glass as I lift it to him, his hand lightly brushes mine while taking it from me. The way my body felt like it was hit by lightning, by such a small touch even. I think I would explode if he kissed me. I’m fairly certain he felt it too because he jumped when we made contact. 

He sauntered over to the bar, getting the bartender's attention and ordering another round of drinks for us. He turns to look back at me while he’s waiting for the drinks to be made. The way he’s looking at me feels different. I don’t know what switch flipped or if Josh said something to him too, but everything is changing quickly. 

Setting my fresh drink in front of me, he sits back across from me, perfect.

“Do you have any plans this weekend, love?” he asks.

“I was going to ask you the same actually”, I lean into my hand, elbow propping me up on the table. I can’t help but gaze at him while we figure out some plans together. This isn’t new, we spend most of our free time together, but knowing that there’s a chance these plans could be more like dates, is exciting. 

“We could go for a hike, I feel like I need to spend some time out in nature after being at work all week” he says, “does that sound good?”

“I’ll go anywhere with you” 

Oh. That came out stronger than I meant it to, but from the smile it elicited on his face, I'm going to say it worked. 

“You know,” I start, “actually.. Nevermind”

“No, tell me!” Sam laughs, reaching across the table to gently grab my arm. 

Sitting back at the motion, my arm slides through his grasp until we’re hand in hand. We both stare at the situation before us, his thumb timidly running across the tops of my knuckles. I can feel his hand shaking as he does it, which is making me feel better for being so nervous. We sit there in comfortable silence, both of us have our eyes fixed on our intertwined hands. Slowly, I see his eyes move from the table, to my chest, up to my mouth where his eyes lingered for a second before entering my line of sight again. 

I sipped my drink nervously as he watched the way my lips wrapped around the straw, I could feel his hands get warm. Oh. His eyes flickered between my lips and my eyes a few times before the sound of my drink being gone startled us both. 

“Do you wanna head out?” he said after clearing his throat. 

I nodded my head ‘yes’ as the bar was fairly loud at this point. Before I could do anything, he’s holding his hand out for me, pulling my chair out for me so I can get up easily. He leads the way to the door, never letting go of my hand. We make it through the threshold back outside. The rain has let up, but there’s a slight drizzle and the breeze is making it colder. 

“I’ll walk you back to your car at least, it’s late and I’d rather make sure you’re safe” he quietly says, there’s a lot less going on out here, which is making my nerves creep back in. 

We start towards my car, my hand still in his, but I make the decision to intertwine my fingers into his. They fit perfectly together. 

“This is nice..y'know?” 

Sam turns to look at me, a slightly puzzled look on his face. 

“What do you mean, love?” he asks and I answer him by giving his hand a squeeze. 

He squeezes my hand back a few times followed by a little rub on top of my thumb. It feels .. natural. 

“Why do you never go on dates?” the intrusive thought comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. 

“Nobody’s piqued my interest,” he looks confused, “why are you asking?” laughing through his question. 

“Just curious since we spend a lot of time together, I guess I just thought maybe I was taking up too much of your free time” I lie through my teeth. 

Sam stops moving instantly, I bump into him unable to stop quick enough. 

“Who told you that? Did Jake say that to you? I swear I’ll kill him if he made you think that-” he starts spiraling out of control. 

“Sam Sam Sam,” I start speaking over him, “nobody told me that, I just realized recently that you don’t bring up going on dates ever and I don’t want to be in the way of that.”

He grabs my other free hand, squeezing them gently, “y/n, you are not preventing me from dating. Never think that, okay?” I nod in response. “ I just.. I’m waiting for the right girl, that's all.” 

And there it is, Jake was right. 

We continue walking towards my car, I can see the entrance to the parking garage, meaning I'm only moments from him leaving me until tomorrow. Hand in hand, we quietly walk into the parking garage. I start rummaging through my bag for my keys, clicking the unlock button rapidly. 

I see my tail lights blink as we get closer to it, my heart is pounding harder than I thought it could. There’s no chance he hasn’t caught onto how nervous I am, my hands are damp with sweat at this point. 

“Sooo” he starts, I turn to lean against my car door, “Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?” 

“That sounds great, Sam.” I whisper. 

The sudden realization that we are very alone in this parking garage, is becoming more and more evident. I swear he could hear my heart beating. 

The way he was looking down into my eyes and then my mouth. I couldn’t tell if he was actually going to kiss me or if I was imagining it. I followed his lead, I flicked my eyes down to his lips and back up to his eyes. His chest swelled a bit more obviously, letting out a shaky breath, followed by a small laugh. 

“I don’t know why,” he whispers, “but I'm so nervous right now.”

Now, quietly giggling with him, “why are you nervous, Sam?” I stood up straight, making my body shift closer to his. Our grip on each other's hand gets tighter by the second, we’re trying to be there for each other, even when it’s us making things scary.

Sam steps towards me, our bodies are so close now. I’ve become very aware of everything around me, the soft sounds of the wind, the cars driving by, the lack of people nearby, the way Sam is breathing. 

He reaches up with his free hand, fixing a piece of my hair that had blown out of place during our walk, shakily tucking the few stray hairs behind my ear. The gentle touch of his hand against my cheek in the process, this boy has me in a chokehold I swear it. 

Looking up at him, my head tilted by the slightest bit, the small smile on his face as his eyes searched for an answer on mine. 

He whispers, “Can I kiss you?” 

I can’t nod ‘yes’ fast enough. 

Sam’s free hand finds its place on the back of my neck, leaning down and taking one more deep breath before his nervous lips press into mine. His lips are so soft– softer than I imagined. I imagined this moment a lot. The way both of us are shaking makes us giggle into each other. Letting go of his hand, I snake my arms around his neck pulling myself closer to him. 

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that” he whispers against my lips.

“And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished you would”, I whisper back, going back into the kiss more confidently this time. 

The way his mouth moves against mine feels like he was made for me and only me. I deepen the kiss by letting my jaw slack a bit, letting him in a bit more. The feeling makes my stomach swirl and my legs slowly turn into jello. Oh my god. He’s cupping my jaw with both of his hands, his large hands, the ones I daydream about. Carefully, he nips at my bottom lip with his teeth, just enough for my lip to follow him back for a split second. The smallest breathy moan comes from me, which I wasn’t expecting to happen but the look on his face tells me it was worth it. 

“Do you just want to..” I mumble, “..come to my apartment with me?” in between the sweet little kisses he’s placing on the corners of my mouth. 

Sam simply nods, holding his hand out for the car keys when he feels his phone go off. 

Pulling it from his pocket, I watch his face light up as he unlocks it, letting out a laugh before turning the screen for me to read it. 

Jake: Have fun tonight, Sammy. Let me know if we need to pick up your car tomorrow.

We stand there in a fit of giggles for a moment, slightly embarrassed, but tonight will be fun. 

I hand him my car keys, getting into the passenger side being met with a kiss to the side of the head, he turns the car on.

Sam smirks before whispering in my ear, “Ready love? We have a lot to catch up on.” 

Masterlist | Taglist

[astroluvr]

So there’s this interview where jack says he get emotional when he drinks sometimes and I was wondering if you could do a blurb of him getting in his feels while drunk. he starts telling the reader how much she mean to him and how he loves her (they recently started dating so it was the first ily). the readers gets a little upset bc she thinks he won’t remember in the morning but he does 🥹

thank u for ur request! i hope u enjoy!

***

“This is the last time I-” Jack’s sentence stopped short with a hiccup as he leaned all of his weight and height into you. “The last time I get drunk. I swear.”

“I hope so.” you sighed, the very few shots you downed over the evening starting to waver off. “Jack, baby, I need you to just stand on your own for a moment.”

Dramatically, he stood from your side and fell back into the wall with a thump. His head leaned to the side as he shut them. You took a deep breath and fished the keys to his apartment from your purse. The moment you opened the door, you grabbed Jack by the thick fabric of his sweatshirt and inside.

Jack giggled softly and letting you push him to the bedroom. “You look fine as fuck, baby. Gonna let me-”

“No. You’re wasted out of your mind.” you lowered him to the bed and he pouted childishly. “Arms up.”

Jack grinned as he put his arms up for you, when you tried to lift the hem of his thick sweatshirt up, he wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Jack.”

“You’re such a perfect girlfriend. You bought me home after I’m wasted and you’re not mad.”

“A little mad.” you said, muffled by his shirt that was half-on and exposing the waistband of his boxers. “Jack.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” he loosened his hold on you and kissed your forehead.

You smiled softly at your boyfriend of four months before moving to untie his shoes and toss them somewhere in the closet with the rest of them. “God, your feet stink.”

“You take care of me so well, Y/N, I want to make you a mom. Not tonight, but y-you know. Some night.”

“Alright, Jack.” your heart rate picked up at the mention of children with him.

“I’ve said eight daughters, but I think four or five will do.”

“That’s a lot of daughters that you won’t be giving birth to.” you replied with a bit of snark and Jack chuckled when you went to pull down his pants.

“Well, I trust you with them. “You’re so nice and pretty and supportive. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, baby.”

“I’m happy we’re together, too, Jack.” you kissed his shoulder before going to the bathroom to wet a towel and wash your face.

Jack grimaced at the feeling of the wet cloth that you dragged across his face and shoulders. “I love you.”

You tensed with the towel on his neck and stared into the bleary blue of his eyes. “Jack-”

“I love you so much, Y/N, you’re like my entire world. I can’t wait to spend... a long time with you.”

You nodded quickly and your hands began to sweat. “Lay down and I’ll be right back to go to bed with you, okay?”

“Okay. I love you, baby.” Jack said again softly and you plucked one of his shirts from the drawers. “Is that dress coming off of you? Let me take it-”

“Lay down.” you repeated, fighting the giggle that started to bubble in your throat despite your nerves.

When you got into Jack’s bathroom, you let out a breath. You didn’t really doubt that Jack’s words were genuine, but they were so soon and unexpected. You hadn’t been in enough relationships to navigate when the best time to say it was, but you doubted that it was in the middle of a drunk Saturday night. You changed out of your form-fitting dress and into Jack’s shirt and a pair of shorts.

When you returned to his bed, he had a soft smile on his face with one eye peeking open. “Hurry up.”

You rolled your eyes and slid into bed next to him. Regardless of the butterflies in your stomach, you wouldn’t ever resist lying next to Jack. Ever since the first night you slept over at his house, the nights that you two spent apart were next to unbearable. He wrapped two of his large arms around you, one under and around your waist and the other under your head.

“Good night, Jack.”

“I love you, beautiful girl.” he said again and you smiled softly instead of trying to escape his grasp just in case it was the last time you heard it.

The next morning, you were awake a little before Jack. Given that the two of you stayed out late the night before, it was more like you were awake before noon. After fixing Jack a glass of water and leaving an Ibuprofen on the nightstand next to it, you sat in the living room with an episode of Survivor on. You had no idea how Jack was able to get you wrapped into it like he did, but it worked.

You were about three episodes in and it was past noon when Jack finally trudged down the hall and into the living room. You grew a little nervous about seeing him, but the small smile that graced his face made you smile.

“Fuck, why’d you let me drink so much last night?”

“Do you even remember last night?” Jack gave a small smirk before joining you on the couch, laying his head in your lap and wrapping his arms around you.

“Thank you for looking out for me.”

“Of course. That’s my job.” you brushed your hand across his head full of curls.

The way Jack pressed his lips to your stomach and kissed it repeatedly made you think back to the night before. You moved your hand away from his hair and placed them on the couch beside you, swallowing thickly and avoiding his eyes.

“What happened?”

“I, um, I’m just- sorry.” you whispered and you hated yourself for the way you made the tension so obvious.

“No, what happened? You got weird all of a sudden.”

“I don’t know, Jack.”

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“Sorry about what from last night?” you raised your eyebrows at him in an effort to see if he would bring it up himself, but instead he just shrugged.

“I get sloppy when I’m drunk. I probably embarrassed you.”

“No. No, it wasn’t that.” you shook your head and leaned into the couch.

He didn’t remember what he said, which meant that maybe it wasn’t as genuine as he made it seem.

“Then what was it?” Jack lifted from your lap and stared you in the eyes. “I hate seeing you pout, so tell me what’s up.”

“You said that you love me last night.” you admitted, causing Jack’s eyes to widen. “Like, five times.”

“Oh.”

“A-and you were drunk and we haven’t been dating for that long, so I understand if you didn’t mean it. It’s no big deal and now that it’s off my chest, we can move on.” you tried to pull Jack back down to your lap and he just shook his head.

“I love you.” he said so calmly that it made you do a double take.

“Jack, what did you just-”

“Said I love you because I love you.”

“Just because I bought it up doesn’t mean that you have to say it, J. Like, I said, it’s no big deal.” you stammered out, still a little nervous about the words that had just come out of your boyfriend’s mouth.

“Y/N, I know that the way I said it last night isn’t the way you wanted to hear it, but it doesn’t change anything, baby.” your entire face softened at his delivery and he chuckled before grazing your cheek with his thumb. “You don’t have to say it back. I have really strong emotions sometimes, I know.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since that day I took you to a rib shack and you got barbecue sauce all over your face.”

You giggled and Jack smiled fondly at the memory. “That was our first date!”

“I’m aware. You’ve made my life better every day since you’ve come into it. How couldn’t I be so fucking in love with you?” he spoke sweetly and you smiled into the kiss you left on his lips.

“When you put it like that, Jack,” you wrapped your arms around him and kissed cheek with a big smile. “I love you, too.”

[infinityerlingx]

8 letters

pairing- eddie munson x (fem)reader

plot- reader saying the major 3 words to eddie for the first time

genre- fluff

You loved Eddie.

You had been together just coming up to 3 months. However you had known that he was the one for you by the middle of your first. You loved him more than you loved anyone in the world. And it was about time that you told him that too.

You didn’t want to tell him randomly, sat on his sofa or something like that. You needed to make it memorable.

You planned on meeting him in the forest, at the picnic table that he spent most of his free time at. You told him earlier in the morning before school started, that you needed to talk to him and for him to meet you there after school.

Eddie’s mind raced with thoughts throughout the whole day about what it could be that you needed to talk to him about so privately. He sat the whole way through lunch silent. Dustin constantly asking him if he was okay. Eddie just shrugged him off and said he was fine. However he could not shut his mind up.

The last bell rang for the day and you had managed to escape before anyone else did. Wandering down to the private spot. You made it through the mass of trees and found the bench. The large tree next to the bench with yours and Eddie’s initials on it, which he carved out a few weeks ago.

Minutes later, you had gotten yourself sat down one one of the seats, awaiting Eddie’s arrival. In which it didn’t take long to see your curly haired boyfriend emerge through the trees. A smile made its way onto your face, in which he reciprocated a nervous one. He took a seat down opposite you.

“What’s the news then?” Eddie asked anxiously. His eyes not landing on yours, they were indeed staring down at his own hands, his fingers fiddling with his rings.

It was your turn to get anxious now, what if he didn’t feel the same way as you? What if he wasn’t ready? What if he didn’t love you?

You knew that Eddie had a lack of love in his life. His parents not wanting anything to do with him, he rarely saw his uncle, and all the people at school classed him as a ‘freak’. You wanted so badly to be that person that would bring all the love to him. The love that he deserved.

“Y/N? You okay?” Eddie spoke cautiously, pulling you from the trance you was in.

“Hm? Yeah sorry. Just thinking” You replied.

“No problem, you wanna tell me what’s bothering your pretty mind” Eddie asked, more confident this time around. You let out a deep breath and spoke.

“Eddie… these past few months with you, have been nothing but amazing. Every minute I’ve spent with you, I’d never change it for anything in the world. You’ve really brought out the best of me and I feel so loved around you and everything you’ve done for me. All the times you’ve cheered me up or cuddled me until I was okay. Every laugh I’ve spent with you. I love you Eddie Munson. I love you. So fucking much” Your eyes trailed up from the table to his own.

His looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Are you serious?” Eddie asked nervously again.

“With every last word Eddie” You replied seriously. Eddie’s face softened, his eyes brimming with tears. “You okay love?” You questioned.

“Yeah it’s just no one’s ever said that to me before” He spoke, a few tears slipping from his eyes. You quickly stood from your seat, walking around to his side of the table, he swung his legs over so his back was resting against the table.

You straddled his lap taking a seat there, arms going around his neck, his tightened around your waist, pulling you into his chest. A few wet tears dripped down your neck. Your hands instantly found Eddie’s hair, threading through and softly scratching his scalp.

“I love you Eddie, if you’re not ready to say it back then that’s okay. I know how long it takes you to trust people after everything, but believe me when I say this. You are so loved, by the club, Dustin especially, and me. There’s no one in this world that means as much to me as you do” You spoke truthfully, your head resting against his own.

Eddie pulled his head away from your neck, his eyes red with small tears.

“Happy tears I hope?” You questioned, head tilting slightly.

“More than happy” He replied softly. “Thank you” A soft smile crept onto his face. Your faces level with each other, he leant in slowly, your foreheads touching, lips slowly brushing together. He pressed a gentle kiss onto the corner of your mouth. Before pressing a loving kiss to your lips. You moved in sync with him, your lips slotted perfectly with his own, like you were made for each other, two pieces of a puzzle.

He pulled away first. Leaning back into the table, his hands pulling you into his chest. Your head resting on his shoulder.

“Y/N” He spoke, sounding more like a question, making you lift your head.

“Yeah” You replied, looking up at Eddie, his plumped lips from your previous kiss, his eyes that now looked like they were filled with nothing but adoration.

“Thank you for being the first person to say that to me. Ever. It’s honestly taken me by surprise, how someone can love someone like me” He spoke making you frown.

“Eddie, you’re so much more than you think. Please don’t doubt yourself” You replied, sitting yourself up.

“You really are the best girlfriend ever. I’m so lucky to have you” He spoke again, his eyes landing on yours. He took a shaky breath. “And I love you. I love you so much”

A smile made its way onto your face, quicker than ever. Eddie couldn’t believe the words that just left his mouth. It felt unusual for him.

“I love you sweetheart” He spoke more confidently. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you into him again, his lips landing on yours in a gentle kiss. Showing you all the love he had for you. You pulled away, tears had crept up onto both of your faces. Making you both let out breathy laughs.

Since that day, Eddie had told you he loved you anytime that he could. Passing each other in the school halls, he would say it. When you woke up next to him, or fell asleep next to him. He spent his whole life never saying it. He wasn’t wasting anymore time, he needed to prove that he was worthy of being loved. And you was the one to make sure that he was.

[avenirdelight]

Level Up

Mason Mount (ft. Declan Rice)

Mason thinks that breaking up with her was the wrong decision. She says they can’t make the same mistakes if they get back together. [Inspired by “Level Up” by Sigrid]

She hated sprinkles. She never wanted them in her doughnuts or cakes. She hated lemon and orange scented air fresheners. She loved the smell of new books and petrichor. She loved cheesy romantic-comedy movies, always spent her time watching one of those movies whenever she was feeling stressed.

As Mason lay in the cold bed, staring up to the marble off-white ceiling, he found himself listing the things she liked and disliked. He’d brought his nieces to their favourite doughnut place earlier today, and the youngest couldn’t stop asking for the pink doughnut with pink sprinkles. And the first thing that had popped up in his mind was how she, his now ex-girlfriend, hated sprinkles.

Mason had thought that separation was the best decision. Even worse, he’d thought that it was what he wanted. Months of miscommunication and misunderstanding, he’d grown tired of it and wanted it to end, thinking that they just weren’t meant for each other.

But he’d been sleeping in the guest room at his sister’s house and every day, he felt the bed getting colder. It annoyed him that he knew that tomorrow morning he would wake up with a groan, because he would expect to see her beside him when he woke up and wouldn’t find her, just like the days before.

She still lived inside his mind. And maybe… Maybe he had made the wrong decision.

—

A scornful laugh pierced Mason’s ears as he felt his heart slowly sinking. He was paying Declan a visit at his house. His mind was getting more and more clouded, he’d thought that sharing about this matter to Declan could clear his mind a little bit. But his best friend was not really helping.

“I told you to really think about it, mate. Before you make the decision, not after,” Declan commented as he aimed for the yellow-coloured pool ball, preparing to take the shot. He’d invited Mason to play pool, thinking that it could ease Mason up a little bit. “It’s been what? Four weeks?”

“Yeah, four weeks of hell.” Mason watched as Declan took the shot. The yellow ball went down into the corner pocket.

“So is this the reason why you haven’t moved out of the house and kept staying at your sister’s? ‘Cause you wish that you wouldn’t need to move out?” It felt like Declan was reading him. But Mason didn’t even have the courage to admit that he’d been making excuses so he could postpone the moving out part as long as he could. 

“I don’t know, mate, honestly, I don’t f*cking know.” He shook his head ever so slightly, walking around the table. “All I know right now is that I’ve made the wrong decision.”

“How do you know?”

Mason took the shot, but the ball hit the cushion and bounced. Nothing in his life was going well right now, even playing pool. Yes, his football definitely could do better, but his mind had been troubled by his personal life and it was affecting how he played on the pitch.

“‘Cause I’ve realised that I haven’t fallen out of love. Not even halfway there,” Mason answered, letting out a long, heavy sigh. He looked up and met Declan’s questioning eyes. “I tried to remember all the reasons I like her, and the list is still longer than the things I don’t like about her. I’ve always liked her as a person. I still do.”

Declan puffed out a breath from his mouth. He couldn’t deny that the mood was getting bleak. He genuinely felt sorry for Mason. “Last time you said she didn’t understand you,” Declan tried to remind his best friend.

Mason gritted his teeth. “Maybe that’s what I wanted to believe,” he shrugged. “Maybe I tried to convince myself that I didn’t understand her either but, mate– Who could possibly know her better than I do?”

“You tell me.” He slightly raised his eyebrows, giving Mason a half shrug.

“I don’t know, I just… I wish I had tried harder to see eye to eye with her again.”

“Well, regret is always at the end, innit?” He said as he tapped his fingers against his cue. Mason nodded to agree. “Just give it a thought again, mate. Make sure you’re ready to be fully committed. ‘Cause this is not only about your feelings and what you want. This is about hers too.”

—

The dark, cloudy, and rumbling sky reflected how it was inside Mason’s mind. It felt even worse because he practically could hear his heart thumping against his ears. She leaned herself against the window frame with a mug in her hand, looking out to the backyard. She hadn’t been saying anything for minutes and the silence was getting deafening, even suffocating. Everything Mason wanted to say was at the tip of his tongue, but he tried to be patient, giving her time to think. So he just sat back on the couch and waited.

He’d confessed to her that he regretted his decision and asked if they could get back together. He’d poured his heart out, coming out clean, told everything he’d been feeling and thinking—including the part where he couldn’t let her go and wouldn’t be able to see her with someone else. He’d figured that this time round he needed to be honest, or more honest, because it only could work out if he was honest about his feelings, not only to her but also to himself.

“Where do you think it went wrong?” She broke the silence. Her voice was low and calm but the question still caught Mason off guard. He could barely see her face through the reflection on the window.

They’d gone through this conversation before and it wasn’t easy, but if this was what it took to get her back, Mason was more than willing to go through it again.

“We didn’t communicate. We just let our problems pile up, and didn’t even take the chances to sort them out,” he answered. “I didn’t do my parts. When things didn’t go right with us, I just… Gave up so soon. At some point I stopped trying.”

She sighed, and it sounded heavy. “It’s silly to think about it now. We only wanted the easiest way,” she said, before taking a sip on her drink. “I mean, I did just the same. I let my mind clutter up and always waited for it to get worse… Wasted so much of our time.”

Mason dropped his gaze to his untouched mug on the coffee table. The corners of his lips twitched into a small sheepish smile. “Yeah… But this is not easy either.”

“It’s even harder,” she chortled.

She turned around on her feet and then leaned back to the window frame. Her eyes met Mason’s before she shifted it to her mug; her fingers traced the edges of the mug.

“It’s going to take a lot of work, you know, if we… If we get back together,” she mumbled. “We can’t make the same mistakes. We can’t choose the easiest way again. We have to get through the struggles.”

“I know.” Mason nodded. “I mean, it’s the only way for us to level up, innit?”

Her smile rose. She shifted her gaze up again and met Mason’s; this time she didn’t look away. Mason smiled back at her and before he could even stop himself, he stood up. Taking a deep breath, he walked closer to her and her eyes followed him until he stopped on the other side of the big window frame. He leant himself on his side and folded his arms in front of his chest.

“I didn’t know how I ended up with the conclusion that I didn’t want us anymore, didn’t want you anymore, but I was so wrong,” Mason said. “I asked too much from you when I didn’t even give enough, and I’m sorry.”

Mason looked out the window. He thought that it was gonna rain but the sky was actually getting clearer. He took a deep breath and could feel his chest feeling less heavy.

“Everything I see, everywhere I go… I always get reminded of you. I saw doughnuts with sprinkles and I thought of you,” Mason chortled.

“Sprinkles?” She glanced up at him. Her eyebrows were furrowed.

“Yeah, you hate sprinkles.” Mason lol shrugged. A faint smile started to form on her lips, like she was tickled because he suddenly brought up sprinkles to the conversation. “I remember the first time I learned about you hating sprinkles and I was like, what? How could anyone hate sprinkles?” He couldn’t hold back his smile either; his heart was getting warmer as he started reminiscing about those early months in their relationship.

“Sprinkles are awful,” she commented. “They get stuck on your teeth, they just taste like sugar, they ruin everything.” Mason had only heard it from her so many times before and honestly, he’d missed listening to her express the hatred she had for the confectionary. He couldn’t help but let out some chuckles as she sipped on her drink with a smile on her face.

“The point is, I loved learning about you and maybe that’s what I need to do. To learn about you again.“

“And you’d love to do that?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” Mason nodded. “I need one more chance. One more chance to do better,” Mason said, staring at the side of her face that was partly covered by her hair because she was staring down at her mug. “I didn’t— I didn’t hold you, kiss you, love you like I really wanted to. I didn’t love you enough. I’d like to try again. Make it right.”

Mason noticed her nodding her head ever so slightly; his heart jumped, for a second he thought that she was saying yes, before realising that she was just gesturing that she understood. She stepped aside to put her mug on a nearby table before leaning on the window frame again, facing Mason this time.

Mason’s gaze was fixated at her, but she looked out the window, hugging herself with her arms. She put on her thinking face again and with each passing second, Mason kept hoping that she felt the same. He hoped that he wasn’t the only one believing that they could still save this relationship. They’d been through a lot for the past three years and it was really silly that they’d ended it just like that.

“Maybe we just needed a break… You know, to see everything better,” she said. “‘Cause now that I’ve spent so many hours in this house alone, thinking that it was all really over and you wouldn’t come back, I’ve realised that I didn’t appreciate you enough. And I’m sorry.”

She turned to him, her eyes were apologetic. Mason gave her a small, reassuring smile.

“We need to get through the struggles, Mase, together, just like we used to,” she said, staring deep into Mason's eyes. “Can’t waste any chances anymore, can’t sweep anything under the carpet, can’t not be honest. We have to do so much better.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. We will, we’ll do better.”

“Okay…”

The silence followed. But unlike earlier, this one felt more comfortable; Mason could feel his heart comfortably pounding in his chest. They both took the time to just look at each other, simply enjoying each other’s company. This was the first time in a while that they looked at each other without any bitter feeling tugging at their hearts. Mason was trying not to get teared up as he felt the relief slowly seeping in, because they might have come into an agreement here.

“Just make it clear…” Mason mumbled. “We’re getting back together, aren’t we?”

He couldn’t miss the faint smile that rose on her face and his heart skipped a beat at that. “Yeah, we are,” she answered.

“Okay, just making sure.” He shrugged, giving her a cheeky smile, which drew a little giggle from her.

Mason finally took a step closer and when he did, she bit her bottom lip and dropped her gaze—something that she sometimes did when she felt nervous. He was feeling nervous too, and the feeling was familiar because there had been a period of time where he’d always been nervous when it came to her, all because he’d been so in love with her.

He stopped when he was close enough to feel her warmth and gently took a hold of her forearms. Her eyes darted up and eventually met his eyes again, her eyes were glistening with tears. He gently pulled her closer before opening his arms, and without saying another word, she fell into his embrace.

Mason wasted no time wrapping his arms around her. He held her tight, the scent of her hair filled his lungs and that was the moment he realised how much he’d missed her. He hugged her like how he’d always wanted to, like how he was supposed to. He had already begun to try to make it right.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said.

“I’ve missed you too,” she mumbled against his shoulder. She held onto him like she would never let him go and Mason got reminded of how perfectly she fitted in his arms, telling him that they undoubtedly still belonged to each other.

“We’re gonna go through this together, okay?”

Mason felt her nodding her head. He thought that she might need this reassurance, letting her know that he would always be by her side this time, he wouldn’t run away again like he’d used to, and he wouldn’t let her do the same.

He loosened his arms and searched for her face. He brushed the stray hands off her face and held it gently, stroking her cheek with his thumb. It was like he was falling in love again, because a thought crossed his mind, that she was so beautiful, and it almost took his breath away.

“You’re so pretty,” he mumbled.

She burst into giggles as she playfully slapped his shoulder. “Okay, behave, now.”

He shyly grinned and took the opportunity to quickly lean in and brush his lips against hers. She gladly welcomed him and kissed him back. He still remembered their first kiss and this was just how it had felt like—soft and gentle, excited but nervous. She smiled between the kisses and Mason believed she’d done it too back then.

This was definitely worth fighting for, Mason would always remind himself of that. It would be a shame if they just gave everything all up without a fight. They had so much to fix and it wouldn’t be easy but they were ready to commit to it, because they knew that only when they went through the struggles together that they could level up.

—

it’s been a while since the last time i wrote for mason! hope you guys enjoyed it! comments and feedback are always welcomed! thank you for reading<3

My Masterlist🤍

[cowgurrrl]

ok what am I supposed to do now the one for the money, two for the show is done!!!?! I would love more lord while I go back a reread everything from the beginning!

If you’re taking requests maybe quick snapshots of the year apart? Not to get too personal but I have a crush and I’ve been stalking their social media but like in a chill way (or I’m trying to) I imagine reader and Joel both seeing each others accomplishments or posts or being tagged in things and just being happy for each other but also….the longing

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author's note: this is so angsty i'm sorry

Summary: This ask

Warnings: angst, yearning, oh it's so sad

Joel Miller's New Album Set to Break Records

Everything We Know About Joel Miller's New Album Glass House

Glass House Expected to Go Platinum Before Next Month

What Songs on Joel Miller's New Album Are About Famous Actress Ex?

You almost text Joel about the headlines and theories flooding your timeline. Almost. You actually started typing out a message before reading the last message you sent him almost four months ago and quickly deleting it. You're happy for him. You really are. In the pictures from his album release party, he looked insanely happy, posing with Ellie and Sarah and hugging his musician friends in celebration. He even played one of his newest songs, "Love-in-idleness," at the party with only his acoustic guitar and that deep voice of his. You think you would know it's about you even if he didn't tell you about it before you left. Love-in-idleness is the flower used in A Midsummer Night's Dream to make a love potion to unite the couples. It's common knowledge, but Joel might be one of the only people in the world who knows how much that play means to you. The song quickly becomes one of your favorites, but you don't tell him.

You scroll through his social media unashamedly. Dave Grohl and half the world congratulates him on his album release. He's making the music he's always wanted to make. Sarah told you she got into UCLA, and Ellie is drawing again. He's happy. They all are. So, why do you feel so shitty? Neither of you has deleted the pictures of each other from your profiles. It feels like a staring contest, seeing who will hold the torch of your relationship longer. It doesn't help that people are screenshotting the pictures of you together to "add context" to Joel's lyrics. The one that makes you break down is a quick snapshot someone took of you leaning on him in Central Park when you were watching the guitarist with lyrics from "The Yellow Subway." 

She knows more than me. You better believe

That city couldn't hold her right, but then

I couldn't either.

Despite the heartbreaking lyrics, you two look comfortable together— your head on his shoulder and his hand in yours. You cry in between scenes, ruining your makeup and having a mini-therapy session with your makeup artist, Saoirse, as a result. You don't post anything about his new album, but you put on a happy face and post snapshots from your time spent in Ireland thus far. Pitchers of Guinness, the Cliffs of Moher, stunningly green mornings, and a picture of you and the film crew hiding out in a tent while the rain comes down around you. Joel likes the photos but makes no other move to communicate with you.

You wonder if he's torturing himself in the same way you are. You wonder if he's waiting for a headline about you dating someone new like you are for him. You wonder if he's hurting the way you are. Selfishly, you hope he is because that means he still thinks of you. You also want him to hurt because he hurt you. You still love him, but you can't be the woman who crawls back to someone who can't trust her with things, like telling her the mother of his child is back in town. 

This is what's best. It's what needs to happen. You need to be here, working, and he needs to be there, being a dad and making music. It doesn't make it any easier or soothe the ache in your heart, but it's necessary. It's for your own good. Right? 

Right?

[captain-fantasy]

I missed you - Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: oral, smut, unprotected sex

Author’s note: I’m sorry for disappearing for a bit. I’ve been swamped with final projects and I just got a job so

Word count: 812

The air was comfortably warm and felt pleasant on your skin. You were leaning against Chris as you lay on the couch watching a movie together. He’d finally come back after being away for a couple of months filming a new movie, and you were eager to see him again. Of course, you knew that being with him meant that he would need to leave for extended periods of time every so often, and you never held it against him, but you loved nothing more than having these quiet moments alone with each other. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him, almost placing you in his lap. His head rested in the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling your warm scent that he missed while he was gone. You sighed happily, relaxing your muscles into his body while you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to indulge in the fact that he was all yours for a moment. 

Chris’ grip on you tightened, his mouth leaving open-mouthed kisses in the valley of your neck. A small, muffled groan left his mouth as he nipped the soft skin, soothing the bites with his tongue. You whined and squirmed in his hold, trying to turn around to face him. He allowed a small amount of movement, just enough that you were able to straddle him, your legs on either side resting on the couch, your arms stabilizing yourself on his shoulders. 

“I missed you,” he said, his hands resting on your waist. 

“Yeah?” you smiled, “How much did you miss me?”

“So much that I touched myself thinking of you every night,” he smirked, running his hands up the back of your shirt, leaving a trail of goosebumps wherever his hands went, making your body feel as though it were on fire. 

“Did you touch yourself?” he asked.

Your face felt hot, your throat incapable of saying anything at that moment, so you nodded. 

“Did you?” he teased, “What did you think about when you were touching yourself?”

“I thought about the night before you left,” you breathed, “When I was on top of you, and you fucked me so hard you left bruises,” you finished, smiling. 

He chuckled into your skin, moving his hands to bring your shirt over your head, staring at your bare chest in front of him. His hands moved to cup your breasts, running his thumbs over the now stiff nipples. He leaned forward and took one of your tits in his mouth, continuing to play with the other one in his hand before he switched off. 

“What did you think about?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair. 

He smiled as he removed his mouth from you, looking up into your needy gaze, “I thought about having you on top of me, too. You feel so tight, and wet, and hot. You always make me feel so good,” he drew out the last two words, wrapping his arms around you to position you on your back against the couch. You quickly shuffled out of your sweatpants, watching him kneel in front of you as he pulled your thighs apart. He kissed the skin on your inner thigh, leaving another trail of hickies as he inched closer to the one place you wanted him. 

“Please, Chris,” you begged. The amount of control he had for being away for so long astounded you. 

You whined and arched yourself closer to him, using one of your hands to pull his mouth closer to you. He smiled against your skin, inching closer to your dripping pussy. Your head fell back on the couch as he licked a stripe on your cunt, curling two of his large fingers inside you while his tongue played with your clit. 

Your breathing was short and left your mouth in quick bursts, struggling to keep the air in your lungs as he took what he was missing for so long. Because you had spent so much time without him, it wasn’t long until you felt the familiar bundle of nerves traveling through your body, joining at the pit of your stomach. 

“Fuck,” you whined, “Please, I’m so close.”

Chris opened his eyes, the blue turning darker in color as his movement got more insistent, more needy, like he was trying to devour you. 

Your eyes squeezed shut, your thighs squeezing Chris’ head as you came. As your breathing got calmer, Chris carefully pried your legs open and took them off of his shoulders, straightening his back to face you. He gently pulled your face closer to him, meeting your lips with his. You could taste some of yourself still on him, stuck on his beard. It tasted too bitter to you, but the way Chris lapped on you like a man starved, he had to love it. 

“My turn,” he whispered. 

[gumnut-logic]

Ephraim (Part 1)

Okay, ultimately this is @gaviiadastra​ ‘s fault, but I think @onereyofstarlight​ should take some of the blame as well, because she started me playing the game again just recently.

This fic is a crossover...Thunderbirds Are Go and Stardew Valley. Yes, I have finally lost the plot. But since this is the only spark I’ve had that has resulted in words in months, I’m going with it.

I have plotworked much more than I have written here. This is just setting the scene for shenanigans...and perhaps checking the waters to see who might be interested in this crazy and whether it is worth coercing myself to write more.

But in any case, those of you know have played Stardew Valley, I hope you enjoy that aspect, those of you who haven’t, I hope it is fun anyway ::hugs the lot of you::

-o-o-o-

“Thunderbird Two, we have a situation.”

His brother’s voice, no matter how much loved it was, drew a groan.

But Virgil was a professional. “FAB, Thunderbird Five. Coordinates?”

The requested location popped up on his dash and swallowing another sigh, Virgil threw them into Two’s navigation and rolled her towards the north.

They had almost gotten home this time.

The sudden manoeuvre startled Gordon in the seat beside him. A groan very similar to Virgil’s own as his eyes saw their destination on the dash. “Oh, man, you’re kidding!”

“I’m sorry, Gordon.” John’s voice was truly apologetic. Virgil had to give him that. “It should be a quick one. One person incommunicado in a dilapidated mine.”

“Dilapidated?” So, Virgil’s voice was a little sharp and accusatory. It had been a very long day and pulling another idiot out of a disused mine…

John threw the detail at them, his voice showing some of that same tiredness. Virgil was forced to remember that his brother had had as long a day, if not longer than he and Gordon had.

Why did idiots go anywhere near hazards waiting to happen? And why had the damned thing been left accessible in the first place.

He must have grumbled out loud because John’s ever patient voice explained something about Joja being responsible.

Fantastic. That would be another week of listening to John and Scott conspiring to take out the megacorporation again. Reminding them that ‘legal’ was a thing could get exhausting.

Maybe yanking John down from orbit? A holiday in Aotearoa?

The last few miles to the Pacific northwest coast of the US was spent planning said vacation while Gordon muttered curses in the seat beside him.

Definitely a holiday.

But first…

They flew over a small coastal town, the usual people stopping in their tracks and staring up as their big and loud Thunderbird passed over the village and to the mountains behind it. A pristine mountain lake, complete with an island and footbridges, was followed by a cliff with obvious mine workings.

Virgil lowered Two down in a clearing in front of what looked to be a souvenir shop of some kind.

Post-flight and then they were moving.

John continued to stream information. Victim was several levels down in the mine. No room for a pod. So exosuit was the deal. Contact was a Mr Brandy who they met the moment they stepped outside of the module.

“He’s new to the Valley, bit of an upstart. Took over the old Taylor farm on the other side of town. Said he wanted to join the Adventurers Guild and I’m not one to stop a man from proving himself.”

“Mr Brandy-“

“Marlon be my name.”

“Marlon, we’ll take it from here.” The exosuit hissed as he moved and Virgil found it strangely reassuring.

‘Dilapidated’ was an understatement. The mine entrance itself was easy to access and rather misleading because of that. Directly inside was a cavern full of rundown mining equipment – carts and wooden reinforcements that seemed to be barely doing anything. An old shaft elevator looked ready for a gullible victim in one corner. It was a danger zone no longer waiting to happen, but eager for more victims.

Gordon grunted beside him as he dragged over the spelunking kit.

The only way down proved narrow and not for the faint-hearted with a rickety ladder to one side and darkness looming below.

Why did he do this job again?

A few short words and Gordon had the cables set up and hooked to Virgil’s suit, and he was lowering himself down.

“Thunderbird Two?”

Virgil’s boots hit dirt in a cavern not unlike the first, though much darker. He let out a breath into the sudden all-encompassing silence. “Yeah?”

“Victim’s name is Ephraim Taylor. Background check brought up something interesting.”

“Yeah?’ A sound in the silence. Scurrying? Rats were a given but far from enjoyed.

Cockroaches were also a far too familiar encounter, along with bats.

“Apparently, he is a relative.”

“Of what?” There had to be a further way down. He lifted one boulder after another, sifting through a rockslide scarily recent enough to hide the victim’s footprints. “Thunderbird Five, give me a path down.”

“Direct shaft down to the next level is two metres to your left.”

Virgil mumbled an FAB and sure enough, under one of the many boulders to his left there was another gaping chasm. He slammed a cable piton into the floor, guiding his support cable into the pulley gullet. “Access located. Descending now.”

Again, he barely fit.

Another cavern, but this one was more of a passageway, dark and nowhere near as silent as the first. So much scuttling and other unidentifiable sounds.

Virgil swallowed.

“One more level, Thunderbird Two.”

“Thunderbird Five, is there any other life down here I should know about?”

He could hear the frown in John’s voice. “What kind of life? Nothing in particular on sensors. Usual cave biome for the area.”

“Define usual.” He was getting sharp, he knew it. He was tired and the natural denizens of dark places weren’t his favourite things. You’d think his career would have helped with an immunity to such things, but no.

The dark brought up bad memories.

“Nothing hazardous, Thunderbird Two.”

Yeah, right, keep it professional.

“Trust me, Virgil.” John’s softer voice brought with it an understanding that pierced deep with its honesty.

A deep breath. “FAB, Thunderbird Five.”

The next shaft proved even harder to find.

“Virg, you need me down there?” Gordon’s voice was far too bright for the environment.

“Negative, Thunderbird Four.”

A grunt. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

Virgil didn’t bother to answer that as he finally located the access tunnel to the level they needed to be on. Unclipping another cable guide from his suit, he slammed it into the rock floor, tested the draw and, hooking in, lowered himself down.

Maybe they should trial that heavy duty jetpack again and see if the issues it had with the weight of the exosuit could be fast tracked. It would certainly have made this descent easier.

The moment he entered the next cavern there was a difference. This one was lit. Flickering light created dancing shadows. While the light was an improvement, the extra sounds were not.

Definitely creepy. “John…” He trailed off. His brother had already told him there was nothing unusual. Asking again was desperate.

His boots hit the floor and the exosuit hissed.

A body lay half hidden in the rocks. “Target located.” Hurrying over, he did a quick situation assessment and freed his hands from the suit, setting it to passive so he could work.

Scanner light flickered. Young, male, unconscious, breathing, no injur…no, wait…the signal fritzed a moment before once again declaring the victim injury free. What the-?

Concerned the device wasn’t doing its job, Virgil checked the man for any obvious external injury. “Thunderbird Five, diagnostic on the scanner, I’m getting unreliable readings.”

Virgil’s glove caught in a substance on the man’s clothing. As he flinched away, it stretched like sticky goo.

Something slipped out of the shadows beyond the prone rescuee.

About the size of a partly deflated basketball, it was green, squelching as it moved towards them, and glaring at him with little red eyes.

One moment it was there, and then it was on him.

“Jo-aaah!”

-o-o-o-

TBC?

[bradshawsbaby]

happy anniversary aka top ONE!!

I’d love to read a hannix headcanon or blurb. Maybe the two of them on a road trip or weekend away when they’re just starting to figure out their relationship. Feel free to change the scenario of inspiration strikes!

I kind of debated in what direction I wanted to take this little drabble, but I ultimately settled on some soft fluff! I hope you like it!

Jake never wanted this weekend to end.

He had been the one to suggest it, a short little getaway to Santa Barbara while they had some time off from work. Deep down, he had been terrified of how Phoenix was going to respond. They’d only been officially dating for about a month, and they’d never gone away together as a couple before. Part of him worried she’d think he was rushing things. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was scare her off.

Much to his pleasant surprise, however, she agreed without too much trepidation.

As simple a weekend as it was, it turned out to be the best of his life. They booked a room at a quaint bed-and-breakfast, took strolls around town and enjoyed the sights, and found some hidden gem restaurants. But it didn’t really matter what they did. Even the most ordinary parts of his day became extraordinary when he got to share them with her.

Snuggling closer to her in bed as he listened to the birds chirp outside the window of their tiny room, Jake buried his face in Phoenix’s dark hair, tightening his arm around her waist and reveling in the feeling of her soft skin pressed against his.

He had spent so many lonely nights wishing for a morning just like this one, a morning that he thought would never come. Yet there she was, lying in his arms. Everything he had ever dreamed of and more. He didn’t know how he had ever gotten so lucky.

Letting out a soft groan, Phoenix began shifting in his arms, rolling onto her back and blinking open her eyes. “Mmm, good morning,” she mumbled in a sleepy voice that made him fall even more deeply in love with her.

“Morning,” Jake grinned, smoothing her unruly hair back with one hand and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

They were a tangle of limbs, arms and legs all twisted together in the bedsheets as they settled into a more comfortable position, Jake leaning up on one elbow so that he could more easily gaze down at the incredible woman who he now got to call his.

The silence stretched as the two them just stared at one another, until Phoenix finally broke the quiet with an almost sheepish laugh. “Did you ever think we’d be here?” she asked in a low voice, reaching up to rake her fingers through his sandy blonde locks.

“I hoped we would be,” he replied, catching her hand in his own and bringing it to his lips so that he could press a kiss to her palm. “I’ve known for so long that this is what I wanted with you, Minx.”

“Sorry it took me a while to get on the same page,” she grinned, her eyes crinkling as she stroked his cheek with gentle fingers.

“I would have waited forever, if that’s what it took,” Jake admitted seriously, burying his face in her neck and nuzzling her skin affectionately.

“Bagman,” Phoenix whispered, her voice cracking slightly as she said it. “Jake.”

At the sound of his real name falling from her lips, he lifted his head and gazed into her dark eyes, cupping her face with one hand. He could see the emotion brewing there, and he immediately sought to soothe her. “Hey, hey,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers.

“I love you,” she breathed against his lips, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “I just want you to know that.”

“I do know that,” he nodded, peppering her face with kisses. “And I love you, too.”

“Thank you for planning this weekend. I’m so glad that we did it,” Phoenix told him, running a hand up and down his chest in featherlight strokes.

“Me, too,” Jake grinned. “I just wish it wasn’t almost over,” he sighed.

She looked up at him with a hint of mischief in her dark brown eyes. “We still have a few hours left before we have to check out, Bagman,” she observed.

“Oh?” he smirked, lifting an eyebrow. “Whatever will we do?”

“I have a few ideas,” Phoenix laughed, pinning him down to the bed and climbing on top of him.

Jake smiled up at the woman he adored, resting his hands on her hips. “I’m all ears, Minx.”

From my “TOP ONE” Anniversary Celebration! (Requests are now closed)

[k-evans-reads]

Playing With Fire

Chapter 8

Summary: After a change of heart nearly ten years into her career as a pediatric intensive care unit nurse, Ellie Maxwell has moved back home and returned to her old job at the local bakery, where the regulars are the firefighters from down the street. When sparks begin to fly between Ellie and the guarded, closed-off Chris, will anything come of it?

Pairing: Firefighter!Chris Evans X OFC Elizabeth “Ellie” Maxwell

Word Count: 10,178

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Warnings: 18+.

Previous | Main Masterlist | Playing With Fire Masterlist

A knock echoed on the door of the bakery, Ellie lifting her head and smiling widely when she saw the familiar face through the pane of glass in the door. Hurrying over, she unlocked the door, letting Chris in from the cold before closing it back behind him. She still had the broom in her hand when Chris swiftly pulled her against his frame and kissed her so deeply she was almost out of breath when he parted from her lips. 

She opened her eyes to see his own staring at her, Ellie raising her eyebrows as she told him, “Well hi to you too.”

“Sorry, it’s just been way too long since I’ve been able to do that,” Chris admitted with a shake of his head, and Ellie had to agree. They’d had a quick breakfast date the previous Sunday with plans to get together while Hazel was in school on Tuesday and Wednesday, but the snow storm ruined those plans as Chris spent every minute of Tuesday and Wednesday running around with Hazel at home. 

But while some things didn’t go to plan, the best part of her week was when Chris surprised her on Monday by bringing Hazel by the bakery unexpectedly. Ellie only expected to meet Hazel after several weeks - or even months - of them dating, and while Chris only introduced her as a “friend” to Hazel, it still meant the world to Ellie, and she knew it meant the same to Chris by seeing the look in his eyes the entire time. 

“I certainly didn’t mind,” she laughed, locking the door again before she turned and reached for her AirPods, putting them back in the case before she walked towards the broom and dustpan. “I’m almost done cleaning up and then we can go.” 

But Chris - who still had damp hair sticking to the nape of his neck from his shower - rushed over and told her, “Here, I’ll sweep.” 

She stepped aside, letting him sweep as she finished changing the last of the trash bags from the trash cans around the bakery. “How was your shift today?” She asked, turning and glancing over to him. He was dressed in a sweater and jeans with sneakers on, something she knew he didn’t keep at the firehouse. He tended to get off work on Saturdays before she did, which clearly had left him time to run home and change - and drop Dodger off - before he came here.

His back was to her as he shrugged, Ellie watching as the muscles beneath his sweater shifted with the movement. “A little rough… we had a fire in that old abandoned building over on the edge of town and that one was tough to get out but other than that, it’s been pretty uneventful,” he told her, then turned and shot her a wry smile as he made his way back over to her and admitted, “Pretty glad to be here with you now though.” 

“I am too, baby,” she whispered, leaning up to peck his cheek before she grabbed the dustpan, dumping the crumbs and trash into the open trash bag. Then, she tied the bag off, turning to double-check the bathroom was clean and ready for the Sunday crowds.

“So any thoughts on what you’d like to do tonight?” Chris called as he leaned his hip against the counter, his voice carrying down the short hallway into the open door of the kitchen where Ellie was putting on her coat so that she could take the trash to the dumpster. “I’m not picking up Hazel until tomorrow morning because Ashlee took her to New York today to go to an aquarium so they won’t be back until late. So I have time for whatever you want to do.” 

“I’m mostly just hungry,” she laughed and she could hear Chris’ own laughter and she opened the door, crossing the few short feet to the dumpster before she threw the trash in and came back inside. 

Chris’ tall slender frame appeared in the open doorway while Ellie was washing her hands for the last time, a small sideways grin on his face. “You know I can always eat,” he whispered, before he suddenly turned his head and narrowed his eyes, then they widened as he turned back and told her quickly, “Hey Ellie, your phone is ringing.” 

“Sorry, I’m just going to take this really quick,” she replied, brushing past him and reaching for her phone from where she left it on the counter. She smiled at the name that was showing, putting the phone up to her ear as she said, “Hi Mom, how are you?” 

Her mom’s warm voice filled Ellie’s ear as Diana asked, “I’m good, how are you? Are you still at work?” 

“Yeah, just finishing closing up,” Ellie replied, turning around and smiling as Chris gave her a small grin before he looked away, busying himself with his phone.

“Oh perfect! Amanda is taking Nathan to a little swim class tomorrow afternoon so we were going to do family dinner tonight. Dad’s got the brisket almost finished and I made your favorite cornbread muffins and macaroni and cheese.” 

“That sounds so good but I can’t make it tonight. Chris just got here and we were going to go out,” she explained, her eyes moving to glance out the windows before they moved back to Chris’ frame.

“You could bring him over if you want,” Diana said quietly, trailing off a bit before - at Ellie’s silence - she excitedly added, “You know that we all want to meet him!” 

“I don’t know Mom,” Ellie whispered, turning to face away from Chris as she admitted to her mom, knowing about Chris’ worries and past which had led them to take things slow, “I think it might be too early.” 

Without judgement or hesitation, her beloved mother rolled with the punches and replied, “Okay, well I’ll make sure to save you some leftovers.” 

“Thanks Mom, I’ll come over tomorrow, okay? I love you,” Ellie told her before they hung up, Ellie turning back around and seeing Chris raising an eyebrow at her from where he was standing next to the oversized windows near the door and the hall to the bathroom and kitchen. 

“Everything okay?” He asked with a casual and even tone, his face unchanging as he looked at her. 

“Yeah, it was just my mom. She was just calling to invite me over for dinner,” she shook her head and explained, “We normally all have dinner together on Sunday evening but they’re doing it tonight.” 

He shrugged, his expression shifting as he told her, “You can go if you want, I don’t mind.” 

“Well they invited you too but I told them we have plans,” Ellie added with a slightly tense grin, her face flushing.

“I don’t know that we really do,” he admitted with a chuckle, then reassured her, “We can go if you want to, Ellie.”

“Chris, I really don’t want to have to meet my whole family tonight. I know that’s a big step.” 

“I know, but I’d like to,” he insisted, moving from where he was standing next to the door to stand in front of Ellie behind the counter, facing her. 

“...Are you sure?” 

“Well I mean, I overheard there was brisket so that kind of sold me,” he chuckled, his face scrunching up. 

Knowing that this was his way of saying he was ready to take another step with her, Ellie wrapped her arms around his firm waist, looking up into his eyes for a long moment before she pressed a soft kiss to his lips, saying so many things without a word. Once they parted, Ellie grabbed her purse and Chris made sure he had his keys before they left the cozy bakery, Chris suggesting that she just ride with him on the way out to the tree farm where she directed him along a small dirt road alongside the tree farm until they reached the quaint farmhouse sitting in back that made Ellie feel warm from the inside out everytime she laid eyes on it. 

She couldn’t help but feel a little bit nervous, unsure how all of this would go. It still was all so new with Ellie getting to know Chris, not to mention the fact she met Hazel this week, but their discussion about taking things slow and not rushing anything from last week was still in the back of her mind. Chris still had walls up - not only around her, but around everyone who wasn’t Hazel or his brother - and although they’d made progress since then, she was worried that this could be too much too quickly.

If there was one thing that Ellie didn’t want, it was to scare him away. There was something different between them, something she hadn’t fully felt before and she didn’t want to lose that or give up on the possibilities of what could be. It wasn’t a secret to her that her family was a little unsure about Chris, with good reason, because of how it all had started with him hiding his past and Hazel, and she felt apprehension in her gut about how they could perceive him, or honestly how Chris would perceive them and possibly cause his walls to go right back up. 

But at the end of the day, she knew that she didn’t have control over it and had to let it be what it was, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t feel that knot inside her stomach when she came walking in the front door with Chris at her side. The lively conversation that was happening in the home immediately stopped when they stepped inside, all eyes landing on Chris before her mother happily announced, “You came!” 

“You know you’ll always get me when you mention your macaroni and cheese,” Ellie laughed, reaching to pull her coat off and hang it on the hook, then placed her hand on Chris’ thick bicep and introduced him, “But I want everyone to meet Chris and Chris, this is my family.” 

“It was really nice of you to include me tonight,” Chris told them with a shy smile on his face, the nervous look in his eyes that Ellie recognized from their first interactions together.

“We’re so glad you were able to come!” Diana smiled, moving through the cramped kitchen past the dining table from Ellie’s childhood to hug Chris tightly.

“Chris I know I’ve told you before but now that you have a face to the name, this is my mother Diana and that’s my dad, Brett,” Ellie told him, her voice soft as she pointed to her father. “Then this is my brother Daniel, his wife Amanda and this is my adorable baby nephew Nathan.” 

Chris smiled at them, the nervous look staying in the back of his eyes as he said, “It’s really nice to meet you all.” 

Ellie’s older brother had a smirk on his face as he reached for his beer, telling Chris, “We’re glad to meet you too, Ellie won’t shut up about you.” 

“Daniel!” Ellie quickly interjected, her cheeks flushing as Chris laughed, his nose scrunching with amusement. 

Brett quietly grabbed a beer from the fridge and offered it to Chris and he and Ellie moved into the kitchen more. Ellie was preoccupied with shooting daggers at her older brother, who was raising his hands innocently and saying, “What? It’s true.” 

“Ignore Daniel, he’s an idiot,” Ellie told Chris, shaking her head. “But my dad will be happy someone else is here to appreciate his brisket. It’s the one thing he cooks really well so he’s pretty proud of it.” 

“Hey, I made that turkey one time!” 

“Yeah and we practically had to use a chainsaw to cut through it because it was so tough,” Diana remembered, patting Brett’s shoulder as she moved past him to get another bottle of wine open, Ellie nodding when her mother silently asked her if she wanted any.

Amanda, who was holding baby Nathan in her lap, said with a smirk, “That was like four years ago and I still don’t think my stomach has fully digested it.” 

“Okay I think everyone needs to keep their sarcastic comments to themselves for once and get a seat at the table,” Brett cut them off, the laughter silencing as everyone moved to the table, where Ellie was helping Daniel add two extra places for herself and Chris.

They all sat down, Ellie watching fondly as Amanda and Daniel got Nathan situated in his high chair at one end of the table, just as Diana began passing around food for everyone.

“Chris, we’re so excited you could join us for dinner and get a chance to meet you,” Diana told him, glancing at him as she passed Ellie the salad. “Ellie said you’ve been here before.” 

He nodded from next to Ellie, and Ellie couldn’t help but squeeze his hand underneath the table comfortingly as she served herself some salad. She wanted to reassure him that they wouldn’t judge him, wouldn’t think he was anything beyond what he showed them to be, but she knew his mind was already beyond that. His voice wavered a bit in the beginning as he replied, “Yeah, my family always comes to your tree farm every year to get our Christmas tree. In fact, we were here just a few weeks ago getting our tree. We always love the ones we get from your farm.” 

Her father nodded as well from the head of the table, where he was sitting across from his grandson. “Well I’m certainly glad to hear that,” the man smiled, but then smirked and added, “And if you’re just lying to me to make a good impression, I accept that too.” 

“Chris, I know your sister Carly,” Amanda began to speak, turning her attention away from where Nathan was munching on some mac and cheese to look at Chris. “I’m the second grade teacher at Lakewood so I’ve met her a few times at staff meetings.” 

“Oh really? My sister loves that school and so do I,” he smiled, and it was the first genuine expression she’d seen on his face since they arrived, but the hint of tension and nerves remained.  “My daughter goes to preschool at Lakewood.” 

“How does your daughter like it?” 

“Oh she loves it,” he said easily before he shrugged, explaining,  “Hazel doesn’t have any siblings so she loves being around other kids. She told me the other day that the only bad part about preschool is that she can’t bring our dog, Dodger, to school with her.” 

Brett huffed out a laugh, shaking his head and pointing a finger at Ellie as he told Chris, “That sounds just like Ellie when she was a kid.” 

Ellie’s brother and parents began trading stories from Ellie’s childhood, of her misadventures at school, home, and around the farm. Chris laughed louder at each and every story, shaking his head as he admitted that they did sound just like Hazel - to everyone’s amusement. And while he often reverted back into himself as the conversation shifted to every new topic, Ellie enjoyed getting to see the way he navigated this evening. 

Although Ellie could tell how nervous Chris was from seeing the look in his eyes and his stiff body language throughout the early evening. She didn’t blame him for feeling that way with this dinner being sprung on him so suddenly, but it made her happy to see the tension leaving his shoulders and his expressions relaxing as the night went on. This wasn’t the first time Ellie had brought a boyfriend home, sitting in this exact same position but she hadn’t ever felt this level of comfort and felt that something was so right, especially this early on. Ellie already could tell that this was going to last. 

Tucking a piece of her wavy blonde hair behind her ear, she turned to look at Chris as he was sitting there happily listening to a story her father was telling and something struck her for the first time. She realized for the first time since meeting him that the handsome firefighter that sat next to her - who was a year and a half younger than her - didn’t seem older than her. Normally Chris carried so much on his shoulders from being a single parent to then going into a high stress job. He had been through so much in his twenty-eight years of life, and those experiences had only made him lean into growth and persevering through them all. 

But in this moment, he seemed like a normal twenty-eight year old, sitting with an arm resting on the top of Ellie’s chair, the other slapping against his chest as he wildly laughed at the ending of her father’s story. The weight of responsibility was gone from his face, replaced with nothing but contentment and it made Ellie want nothing more than to bring some of that peace to his life, lifting some of that heavy weight off his shoulders. The only thought that flashed through Ellie’s brain was just how much she loved this… just how much she was starting to love him. She knew she was falling and boy was she falling fast, but Ellie didn’t want to stop it because she wasn’t afraid of falling in deep for him. 

“Okay, I think it’s time for some cake,” Diana sighed as she pushed herself up, heading into the kitchen, where she grabbed the cake cutter from a drawer, just as Daniel excused himself to use the bathroom. 

Amanda sat up in her chair from where she was holding a babbling Nathan. “Oh, I brought some fresh strawberries too! I’ll go get them from the car,” she offered, then met Chris’ eyes and asked, “Chris, would you mind holding Nate while I go out?” 

“I’d love to,” Chris smiled, Ellie’s heart stopping as he reached for the baby, holding him in his thick arms. The dark-haired boy gave Chris a gummy smile as Chris said, “C’mere big guy.” 

Ellie couldn’t help but stare at the two until her mother interrupted her thoughts, asking, “Hey Ellie, can you come help me get those plates down?” 

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Ellie replied, standing up and moving through the archway into the kitchen. Once the plates were retrieved, she stood next to her mom and quietly asked,  “Okay, so what do you think of him?” 

“Oh honey, that boy is a keeper,” Diana told her in a hushed tone, looking at Ellie with a happy look on her face. 

“I think so too,” Ellie confessed to her as a large grin spread across her face. “I knew you’d love him once you met him.” 

“Honestly I wasn’t really sure what to expect with him,” Diana admitted, shaking her head. “With Chris not having told you the truth and knowing some of the things about his past I just… wasn’t quite sure what he’d be like but he’s a good one.” 

Ellie nodded, knowing they all had shared the same suspicions. She kept having the same thoughts about Chris on a loop in her mind and she had to vocalize at least some of it, telling her, “I’m really crazy about him, mom.” 

“I can tell he feels the same way about you.” 

“Do you think so?” Ellie asked quietly, hope filling her heart as it stopped beating. “I know Chris likes me but sometimes he’s just so hard to read. He’s more closed off with his feelings sometimes… I’m sure because of what he went through with his ex, but sometimes it just makes me unable to know what he’s really thinking.” 

“Ellie, seeing the way he was looking at you could have made me cry. If you saw the look on his face when he was staring at you while you were talking, you’d know that you have nothing to worry about with that one,” Diana reassured her, grasping her daughter’s arm before they heard Chris laughing and then saw him playing with Nate at the table.

And when Ellie walked back out to the dining room with plates of cake in her hands, she saw Chris look up from where he was sitting, playing with the happy baby and when she saw the look in his blue eyes, she knew exactly what her mother was talking about. Seeing the softness in his eyes and that little hint of a smile on his face made her know without a doubt that all of the things she was feeling were reciprocated just as much. 

Feeling nothing but overwhelming emotion for him, Ellie couldn’t help but lean down to press a soft quick kiss to his lips before taking the seat next to him again with nothing but happiness in her heart. Although he didn’t want to say it in front of everyone as they came back to the table, each grabbing their piece of cake while Amanda dished up the fresh strawberries, Chris felt that same happiness. It wasn’t really a secret that he didn’t have much of a social life. He really only spent time with his family, Hazel, and his co-workers, mainly Mark, during the week. He was too busy for a whole lot else and with his guarded nature, opening up wasn’t something that came easily to him, but with Ellie, he wanted to try. 

The feeling stayed with them both as they left Ellie’s parents and decided to head back to Chris’ house and see Dodger before it got too late. As he drove them across town and pulled into the short driveway, Ellie took in the dark home, unable to make out most of the details, but knowing it perfectly suited both him and Hazel. It could - in her mind - only be described as being his home, down to the Patriots camping chairs in the garage and the overwhelming amount of outside toys stored for Hazel. 

After greeting Dodger, the dog happy to see both Chris and Ellie, Chris let Dodger outside into the fenced yard while he dumped more water in the dog’s bowl. Ellie toed off her sneakers and joined him in the kitchen as Chris sat down ungracefully at the kitchen barstool, pulling out his phone while she grabbed herself a water. 

“Elles, come look at this video that Ashlee sent me of Hazel at the aquarium,” Chris laughed, waiting until Ellie sat down next to him and huddled next to her, slouched over the counter as they both stared at his phone. “Look at her face when that shark swims by!” 

She watched the video showing Hazel’s face from the side as she  - Chris’ profile - lit up when the shadow of a shark crossed the tiny face, Ellie laughing along with Chris and saying, “She’s so excited! God, could Hazel be any cuter?” 

“That little curly top melts my heart,” Chris said fondly, shaking his head and texting back a reply before he locked his phone, sliding it away from him on the counter. 

“It looks like she had a pretty good day today,” Ellie whispered to him as she faced him, her hand moving through the hair at the back of his head. 

He looked at her with that sideways grin that made her heart skip several beats, his hand moving to rest on her thigh as he told her with a shrug, “So did her dad.” 

“Other than the fact you had to go meet my entire family at the drop of a hat,” Ellie laughed, her thigh twitching as he gently squeezed it. 

But Chris shook his head, his smile falling as he told her, “I actually had a really good time. Your family is really wonderful,” then he paused, a smirk spreading across his lips as he told her, “Besides, seeing you hold your baby nephew was pretty damn cute. You looked really good with that baby.” 

Ellie let out a loud laugh, shaking her head and telling him with an eyebrow raised, “Well I wasn’t a pediatric nurse for nothing.” 

They laughed together, sitting contently together until his phone buzzed again with another picture of Hazel - this time of her asleep in her car seat - and laughed some more at the expression on the little girl’s face, at how exhausted she must have been after her big day with Ashlee. 

He was looking at his phone with that smile again before he looked at her again, the expression remaining as his eyes flicked over her face. And she knew. “Chris… I wanted to tell you something,” Ellie began quietly, her hand dropping to his shoulder. 

“What is it?” He asked, a single brow raised.

“I just want you to know that I love you, baby,” she said slowly, pausing nervously before she rushed to continue, “I know it’s really soon and that you've been through a lot in the past and you don’t need to say it back, but I just want you to know.” 

He hesitated, stammering a little as he told her, “Ellie… I…” 

“Don’t say anything,” she interrupted, reassuring him, “You don’t need to say a word, I just wanted you to know that I love you.” 

Hearing those words and letting them sink in made Chris feel like every wall he had around him came down at this moment. There was nothing but warmth inside him from hearing those words directed at him. At first he felt like it had been so long since he heard that but he realized that honestly it was the first time anyone, outside of his family, had said those words to him and actually meant it. Ellie spoke those words with nothing but truth and emotion, wanting nothing in return and that touched him so deeply that he could feel tears stinging at his eyes. 

All he could do was wrap his thick arms around her, pulling Ellie into him while he nuzzled his face in her neck, just needing to feel her close right now. He felt so undeserving, so inadequate to receive such pure love from Ellie, but he was receiving it nonetheless and nothing could have felt better. The anxiety in his brain wanted to convince him that her words weren’t true. That somehow there was something going on, some ulterior motive that would cause her words to be untrue, or that she’d change her mind later on, but he knew that just wasn’t the case. He could hardly remember the times that he and Ashlee had ever said those three words to each other, being so few and far between, especially after they were married, but it had never felt like this. Hearing those words from her never felt like it did right now and all the emotions it caused in him made Chris know without a doubt that they were true and honest. 

Chris lifted his head up just enough so that he could bring his lips to hers, kissing her with a wordless promise that although he wasn’t quite ready to take that step of saying that, he was feeling it inside and wanted to be able to communicate it back to her. He wanted Ellie to know just how much he adored her and wanted her in every sense of the word. Even the ones he couldn’t quite say yet. 

Their lips met over and over again, Chris’ hands slipping underneath her black shirt and far enough up her back for Ellie to pull away from his lips, “Chris… are you sure?” 

“I’m sure,” he whispered without an ounce of hesitation or anxiety, moving to kiss her again.

But Ellie’s lips pulled back from his again, her eyes staring at him with furrowed brows. “We can wait, I don’t mind,” she insisted, swallowing nervously and continuing, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything just because I said that I love you.” 

Chris shook his head, trying to assure her that there were entirely no worries or fears that he had. He wanted her, and he knew that he wanted to do this. “I promise you I don’t feel that way.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Ellie… I just want you,” he whispered to her, a small grin on his face.

And if Ellie wasn’t already putty in his hands, she was completely melted from those words and the tender look on that handsome bearded face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself completely against him while she kissed him with so much passion that Chris felt like he was seeing stars. They stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing passionately and building up the desire that was already burning between them. 

When neither could breathe properly, they pulled back, both bleary eyed and sloppily kissing at whatever part of each other's faces that they could reach. Finally Chris pulled back, his hands slipping out from under her shirt as he looked into her soft eyes, telling her, “I’ll be right back.” 

She watched as he pushed himself off the couch, going over to open the door to the backyard and called out for Dodger before the adorable pooch came trotting over to come back inside. Chris leaned down, kissing his head before leading him to the kitchen where he pulled out the bag of dog food, filling up Dodger’s bowl before grabbing him a bone to keep the happy dog occupied. When he walked back over to the couch, he saw Ellie relaxed against the couch, a happy contented smile on her face. 

At first, Ellie wasn’t completely sure what the chain of events would be, knowing that this next step wasn’t easy for Chris. He had expressed needing more time and Ellie wasn’t about to push him. She didn’t want to be the one to advance things, giving Chris an easy out incase he changed his mind, but when he leaned down and scooped her up effortlessly in his thick arms, it clued her in that she wasn’t the only one who was just as eager for this moment. 

Ellie threw her arms around his neck, clinging onto him as he carried her up the stairs and down the short hallway. She started kissing along his neck, her whole body feeling flushed at just how incredibly strong he was, and that mixed with his gentle demeanor was enough to light her on fire. 

He placed her down gently on the dark wooden floor, his hands moving to her hips just as she spun them, Chris’ back pressed to the white door as her hands squeezed his shoulders before she clung to him, kissing him with a fervor. Their hands were everywhere, grabbing and rubbing along whatever they could find, Chris feeling so weak at the way her body was flush against his. 

Ellie’s hands were squeezing at his broad shoulders while his lips attacked her neck, sucking along that soft skin that he couldn't wait to feel more of. Chris’ hands were lingering at her hips, unsure about the next move he should make, his fingers moving to hover around the button on her jeans before finally going for it and popping open the button. 

She moaned softly when he hit a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, making his pants feel a little tighter at that sound. His hands continued pulling at the zipper before he pushed the denim off of her hips, Ellie wiggling her way out of them as Chris’ hands trailed up her soft skin, feeling her thighs underneath his fingertips. She pulled back slightly from his warm body as his hands kept trailing upwards, her black sweater gathering as he followed the curve of her sides and took the black shirt up and over her head, adding it to the pile before Ellie threw her arms back around his neck to press herself completely against him, so desperate to feel him. 

Their lips met for about the thousandth time, kissing fervently as Chris started walking them backwards toward his large bed until Ellie’s legs hit the mattress. He gently pushed her backwards, letting her lay on the bed, her blonde hair splayed out on his pillow as she caught her breath. Chris climbed on the bed next to her, his lips immediately finding hers while his big hand rubbed along the curve of her side, wanting to commit the feeling of her soft skin to memory. He pushed away the thoughts that threatened to take over his mind, the fears and insecurities, and instead forced himself to focus on this - on Ellie, who was here, in his bed. She had already proved all of his fears wrong over these past three weeks, and while he was beginning to shift his views thanks to her, he was still fucking terrified to do this, even if he wanted to. And he wanted to.

“I love you Chris,” her soft voice breathed out in between their lips meeting over and over again. 

And those simple, honest words seemed to pull every doubt about himself from his mind for a moment. It had been so long since he had felt loved like this… actually he hadn’t ever really felt it from a partner before if he was being totally honest. But here he was, only a few weeks into this with Ellie and he was already in so insanely deep for her and that both terrified and electrified him. 

Needing to feel her, and wanting to - no needing to -  communicate all of the emotions inside him, Chris let his hand wander up to gently rub across her soft orange bralette, being able to feel her hardening nipples underneath the thin fabric. She sighed against his lips, letting Chris know how much she liked it but when his hand slid down farther and farther, he could feel a sudden exhale of breath from her that gave away her anticipation. 

Ellie’s heart was pounding when Chris’ warm hand slipped between her legs, cupping her over her scalloped edge floral cream panties. She knew he had to have felt how soaked she was for him already, knowing the fabric was more than just damp at this point and feeling his touch so close and yet not enough had her whimpering against his lips. 

He started sucking along her bottom lip as his hand gently caressed her over her floral panties, only getting Ellie more worked up than she already was. She didn’t feel like it was a secret that she wanted Chris in every single way. She was completely head over heels for him and getting to be laying in his bed felt even better than she dreamed it would have. Ellie breathed in his musky cologne, loving the way it made her feel completely surrounded by him while he let go of her bottom lip, coming back to kiss her deeply while a single finger trailed along her panty covered slit, causing a shiver to run down her spine. She needed him closer, her hips rolling up into his hand and giving him the hint as he kissed her senseless. 

“C-Chris, please babe,” she practically whimpered, too far gone already to hear the hitch in his breath at the begging. 

He was just as eager to feel her, bringing his hand up so he could slip it underneath her panties, his index finger bringing her a little bit of relief when it pushed between her folds. Chris felt his own arousal growing at the feeling of just how wet she was for it, helping to boost his ego a little bit in a moment he so desperately needed it. Their tongues were tangled together when Chris let his thick finger drag up and down her core, getting used to the feeling of her soft center that was so incredibly ready for him, but when he slid his finger up to feel her clit, Ellie had to pull away from his mouth as she gasped loudly. 

Chris started gently, rubbing extremely gentle circles along her sensitive button as Ellie laid her head back on the pillow. He couldn’t help but gaze at her, eyes shut tight while her pink swollen lips fell open as a long sigh fell from her mouth. She looked so beautiful laying there, making a wave of thankfulness wash over him that she had showed up in that bakery over a month ago. Although when he first met her, there was no way he would have dreamed that the sweet woman would soon be lying here in his bed, moaning out his name while he rubbed those perfect circles to drive her crazy. 

He saw her chest heaving as she labored for breath, his lips kissing along her neck, shoulder, collar bone and any other skin he could find while he kept working his fingers where she wanted him most. Ellie felt like her senses were on fire, loving that she felt him everywhere from the warmth of his body to the tickle of his beard and soft brown hair while he messily kissed and nipped along her skin. She loosely wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trying to pull his strong firm body even closer as his index finger started pushing a little harder and rubbing quicker circles that had her back arching while she squeezed her arms around him. 

Chris drank in all of the little noises that escaped her from her gentle gasps to sharp sighs, loving each and every one until her fingers dug into his back, clinging tightly as she inhaled loudly, cluing him in that she must have been right there. He sucked along the base of her neck as he kept up his tight circles, bringing her over her peak as she cried out, her body completely rigid before she seemed to completely melt into the bed, every inch of her relaxing into the soft blankets. 

His lips pressed a few kisses up her neck before finding her gorgeous relaxed face, placing a few sweet kisses to her cheeks and forehead, ready to lay down and see what would happen next. This softness, this calm energy that had settled over Ellie was something he wasn’t used to. Any previous experience in these situations was frantic before either an argument started or he left to go home, but as soon as Ellie was brought back to reality, she was grabbing for him. Ellie pressed her body up against him, pressing a few messy kisses at the edge of his mouth before finding his shirt and starting to tug at it. 

But suddenly that anxiety that seemed to always linger in the back of his head was thrust to the forefront. Although it wasn’t the first time he’d been in this situation with other women, it had been so long, and truly had never been like this before. He never was wanted for anything the way Ellie seemed to crave him, never desired. The few people he’d been with - including his ex and the tiny handful of random hookups he had early on in the divorce days - were purely out of a need to expel that energy, a need to handle the hormones. But Ellie seemed to just want him… for him. And that was something he didn’t know how to handle. 

He was so crazy for her, even if he was a little terrified to admit it, and that only made this so much more stress inducing. He wanted her so badly, and Chris knew he just couldn’t handle disappointing her. Although he knew Ashlee’s cheating wasn’t his fault, those feelings couldn’t help but haunt his mind a little bit. It gave him a lot of doubts in himself, and especially with his abilities in bed. Then, once he had a couple hookups after his divorced, and none had ever called back, it only added onto his doubts in himself. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it had been two years since he had a woman in this way and as bad as he wanted Ellie, he felt nothing but anxiousness at it all. 

Chris figured it must have shown too because Ellie stopped their kissing, pulling back as she just looked at him for a long moment, telling him, “Chris, we don’t need to do anything more.” 

He shook his head, whispering, “No, I-” 

“Seriously, Chris, that was amazing and I’m more than happy to stop,” she interrupted, a hand moving back and forth along his shoulder gently.

Chris was quiet for a moment before he admitted, “I want to… I'm just…” 

“I know baby, it’s okay,” she reassured him, leaning up and kissing him slowly before she pulled away and said,  “Let’s just get comfortable and relax, okay?” 

Chris’ brain reminded him that he had no clue how to do that, but Ellie seemed to read his mind, resting a hand on his bearded cheek before she leaned in to kiss him sweetly. She could feel the tension start to leave his shoulders as they kept kissing, and kissing… and kissing more. Ellie got her hands under his shirt, rubbing along his skin slowly before she finally got the shirt off of his body. 

He anxiously watched the look in her eyes as she looked him up and down, her hands coming out to rub along his firm chest, feeling his defined pecs underneath her touch that were covered in a few black tattoos and soft chest hair that only made him look even more manly to Ellie. She knew he was hot, that much was obvious, but actually getting to see what was underneath that shirt had her panties even wetter if that was possible. 

Ellie’s sole focus was helping Chris relax as she just kept kissing him slowly, no agenda while her hands ran along the muscular landscape of his body. She eventually helped him out of his jeans, still trying to go slow and give him plenty of opportunities to pull back but right when she was about to ask him how he was feeling and if he wanted to go any farther, those thick arms of his pulled her barely clothed frame on top of him, one of his hands running down her back and resting on one of her round cheeks, only half covered by her panties as he gave it a gentle squeeze. Suddenly she figured out that she didn’t need to ask him anymore if he wanted to go any farther. 

His kisses became passionate and needy as he kept kneading at her ass, his other hand coming up to tangle in her hair. She could feel his erection pressing against her through the confines of his boxers and just the feeling of how thick he was had her insides clenching. Eventually when she couldn’t breathe anymore, Ellie put her hands on his chest, pushing herself up so that she was straddling his waist. Chris was looking up at her through hooded lids, his lips swollen and parted as he breathed heavily, brown hair sticking up every which way and Ellie thought it was impossible for him to look any sexier than he did right now. His hands reached out to hold onto her hips, his thumbs rubbing small circles while she grabbed the bottom of her bralette, pulling it up and over her head, tossing it onto the floor. 

His eyes followed her movements, Chris feeling his boxers tighten as he swallowed and admitted, “If you’re trying to get me to relax, you’re not doing a very good job right now.” 

Ellie’s face scrunched with laughter, her head shaking. “I’m kind of glad,” she confessed with a shrug. 

“God, Ellie… you’re gorgeous,” he murmured, his eyes dropping momentarily before they met her eyes again. 

She practically melted from his words, her heart feeling so full as Chris effortlessly flipped her over so she was laying on her back, his hands on either side of her to hover on top. Chris’ mouth started pressing little kisses along her soft skin, coming down to press a few along the tops of her soft breasts, his mouth coming to wrap around one of her nipples, his tongue flicking across it while one of his hands laid on top of the other, delicately kneading it in his hand as he got to feel her for the first time. Hearing the way she gasped at his movements, her hands coming to run through his hair gave him the confidence to keep going, doting all the attention on her chest before moving down lower. 

His fingers were hooked in the band of her floral panties, his eyes flickering up to her one more time but at her soft nod and sweet smile, he pulled them off those long legs. When Chris’ blue eyes looked her up and down, seeing her completely bare to him for the first time, he could hardly believe it. She was here, laying naked in his bed wanting him. She wanted him just for him. She loved him. And nothing could have felt more incredible to Chris than that. 

All of that anxiety and stress was still there but he knew he wanted her. He was terrified to dive in, but Ellie was worth every bit of anxiety and he decided to overcome his stress and slip out of his own boxers. But when he saw Ellie’s eyes grow wide as she looked at him and a shiver ran down her spine, that gave him the little bit of a confidence boost he needed to position himself between her legs. 

“You ready, honey?” He asked, his eyes flicking up to meet hers. 

She almost moaned out, her legs moving to wrap around his trim hips as she whimpered, “Yes, please baby, I need you so badly Chris.” 

“You got me, Elles,” he murmured, and Ellie’s eyes shut tight as he drug his tip along her soaking wet slit before he gently pushed in so slowly that both of them were crying out as they clung to each other. 

She couldn’t seem to find her breathe while her walls adjusted to his thick size, loving the way he filled her so well and just how damn good he felt. She was so thankful that they’d talked about things prior and agreed they’d forgo condoms since Ellie was on the pill - which was another way he showed his full trust to her, only showing her what big strides he was making in trusting her fully. But she still could only seem to focus on how perfectly he seemed to fit in her, just how glorious this feeling was and with the way he was letting out those soft sighs, she figured he must have been thinking the exact same thing. Chris eventually pulled back before pushing in again gently, beginning to find that slow perfect rhythm. 

Neither could breathe very well as Chris started rocking his hips slowly, letting her feel every inch of his thick cock with each thrust dragging against her smooth walls. Ellie reached up, rubbing her hands on his chest for a long moment before he hit her particularly deep, making her fingers dig into his shoulders as she let out such a loud moan it made him twitch inside her. 

Chris’ blue eyes flickered down, watching Ellie’s body bounce slightly with each thrust, her chest heaving as she alternated between moaning and breathing. Her eyelids were closed shut but eventually slowly flickered open, landing right on his. Chris could feel his heart pounding from the way she so softly smiled at him and grabbed the back of his neck to pull him down on top of her, their chests pressed together while her lips found his and Chris’ hips kept up their steady motion. 

His arms snaked between her body and the mattress, holding her impossibly close against him, every inch of them touching in some way or another. He had never felt anything like this, realizing in that moment that he had never felt sex this way before. In the past, it had been purely physical, little or no emotion behind it. But this… this was so different. This gorgeous kindhearted woman who was kissing him so deeply, loved him. And he knew that he had fallen in just as deep, the connection they shared being unlike anything he’d ever experienced or even thought possible. 

Their lips pulled apart as Chris picked up his pace, both of them panting as they each were getting closer. Chris moved his arms so he was braced on his elbows on either side of her, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck and kissing her a few times before he felt her hand slipping between their bodies. Knowing where she was going, he leaned his weight on one arm so he could use the other hand to gently push hers away, taking its place and starting up those methodical circles against her clit, making her arch her back, crying out his name and panting until she hit that beautiful peak. 

A low grunt escaped his lips when he felt her insides clenching him so perfectly, making it hard to keep thrusting, only getting three more before he held his hips inside her and came with a loud moan. His whole body felt weak from the exertion, beads of sweat along his forehead as they both tried to catch their breath. 

Her hand moved from clenching the muscle of his shoulder to the back of his head, running through the sweaty hair there. Chris tilted his head, pressing a few kisses to the skin there on Ellie’s neck as he basked in this feeling… for the first time ever. He was used to rolling off of each other, taking a shower alone, or just going to sleep immediately on opposite sides of the bed, but with Ellie’s hands holding him to her, he couldn’t help but indulge in this. 

They each relished in the afterglow until he gently pulled out and made his way into his bathroom, cleaning himself up before he came out with a washcloth and helped Ellie. Chris went back to toss the washcloth into the bathroom to be dealt with in the morning, sliding on a pair of sweatpants quickly before heading toward the bedroom door but before he could make it all the way out, a gentle voice stopped him. 

“Chris?” Ellie asked carefully, sitting up in bed as she gathered the comforter around her naked frame. “Aren’t you coming back to bed?” 

As he looked at her running a hand through her messy blonde hair, he couldn’t help but feel warm from her words. That simple question that showed him that she wanted to just be close to him was enough to cause his heart to melt right then and there. It reminded him that he wasn’t here with one of his relationships from the past, the connection after sex being nonexistent, he was here with Ellie. His girl. And she was nothing like he’d experienced before and everything he’d always wanted. 

Silently, Chris turned and opened up one of the dresser drawers, pulling out a navy pullover fire station sweatshirt and walked over to the bed to sit down next to Ellie. He grabbed the bottom of the sweatshirt, holding it out to her so that she could easily slip her arms and head into it, helping her pull it down around her naked frame to keep her warm. Chris then pulled the white comforter up farther before he leaned in to kiss her sweetly, causing Ellie to smile into the kiss. 

“Just going to get Dodger and turn out the lights, then I’ll be back,” he whispered, pecking her lips quickly again before he straightened up again and looked at her with a small smile. 

Chris hurried down the stairs, turning off the lights before finding Dodger roaming around in the kitchen. He scratched his head softly before telling him, “Alright bubba, it’s bedtime.” The sweet pooch followed behind Chris while he went over to fill up a glass of water, before going back up into the peacefulness of his bedroom. 

Ellie was already snuggled down into the bed and he was already internally deciding how he should ask her about Dodger. Ever since he got Dodger after his divorce, the sweet pup had slept in bed with him - even at the firehouse - but he wondered if she would even be alright with him sleeping in the bedroom. He was trying to figure out how to phrase the question but it got answered for him when Ellie sat up a little bit, patting the bed while she beamed, “Dodger! C’mere boy!” 

A smile crossed his face as he watched Dodger hop up, going straight to Ellie’s waiting arms and laying half on top of her as he licked her face, making her beautiful laugh echo in the room. He silently watched from the doorway as she doted all her attention on the pooch before turning her head, worried as she asked, “Sorry, I should have asked if it was alright if he got on your bed.” 

“Well considering he sleeps here every night, yeah, it’s okay,” Chris shrugged, crossing the room slowly and stepping over Hazel’s stray stuffed llama that was lying on the floor.

“Good because I think this poor guy would feel left out if he couldn’t sleep up here with us tonight,” Ellie laughed, jerking her arm away when Dodger tried to start licking it. 

“I brought you some water in case you were thirsty,” Chris told her quietly as he came over to Ellie’s side of the bed, bending down to put the water on the nightstand next to the bed as he watched the pair fondly. 

Her eyes were wide, a grin on her face as her eyes flickered from the glass of ice water back to his face, before moving to Dodger and back again. “You really are the sweetest man I’ve ever met,” she whispered.

Chris felt a blush spread across his cheeks, a sheepish look on his face while he shrugged and admitted, “I don’t think bringing water earns me that title.” 

“Well you’ve done quite a few other things that have bumped you up to that position,” Ellie trailed off, a single finger running over Dodger’s back. “My mother was right this evening when she said that you were a keeper.” 

Instantly a stronger blush filled Chris’ cheeks at the compliment, another thing he wasn’t used to, while he nervously scratched the back of his neck. Ellie just scooted over in the spacious bed, flipping back the covers to silently invite him in which he gladly accepted. He felt a little tentative at first, just laying on his back, unsure how Ellie would feel about his arms around her, recalling how little affection there was between him and Ashlee and how she always rejected his advances of such. 

But an unconscious smile slipped across his lips when Ellie immediately curled up against his side, laying her head on his shoulder while her arm wrapped around his firm middle and a leg lifted up to lay on top of his sweatpant covered thighs. Not feeling any reciprocation from him, she tilted her chin up, softly asking, “Is this okay?” 

Pulling him out of his internal thoughts, Chris looked down, bringing a hand to rest on her cheek as he assured her, “More than okay,” before he kissed her sweetly. It was quiet as they both relaxed into the bed, wrapped up in each other and happier than they knew possible. 

Ellie’s eyes opened slowly, taking a moment to come into focus, seeing a different room than she was used to seeing when she woke up in the mornings. Her eyes then shifted to look next to her, seeing the hunky sleeping firefighter right next to her. One of his hands was resting on his chest, the other resting up above his head, mouth hanging open as he soundly slept. She thought it seemed like a dream at first, not believing that last night could have been real, but as the memories started coming back to her, she remembered that it was. 

Dodger laid snoozing on the end of the bed as Ellie scooted a little closer to Chris, wanting the warmth his body was radiating but causing his eyelids to slowly flutter open at the movement. His blue eyes looked right at her, a closed mouth smile appearing on his handsome face before he reached out for her, pulling Ellie close before he closed his eyes again. 

His chin tucked on top of her head when Ellie rolled onto her side next to him, both of them taking the morning in slowly as he whispered to her, “Morning Elle Belle.” 

“Hi baby,” she quietly replied, a grin on her face as her fingers danced over his bare pecs. 

“Did you sleep well last night?” 

“So well,” she admitted, then frowned a bit. “I wish I didn’t have to go to work today so I could just sleep in.” 

“Hand me my phone, I’ll call Dottie and convince her to give you the day off,” Chris told her, Ellie glancing up to see a smirk on his face and his nose scrunched up.

“I know you could too, she adores you,” Ellie laughed along, but then sighed and frowned a little. “But I really need to go in. Dottie won’t be there today so I’m the manager. I still have an hour before I need to get ready though.” 

“Good,” Chris nodded. He reached for his phone, swiping through the notifications on it and told her,  “Looks like it snowed last night.” 

Ellie yawned loudly, relaxing against his firm body. “Yeah I think so.” 

“Can I drive you to work? I don’t want you to have to drive in fresh snow,” Chris asked her quietly, his hand moving down to rub her hip underneath the baggy fire station sweatshirt he’d given her. 

She smirked a little, shrugging and telling him, “You’re going to have to because my car is still at the bakery from yesterday.” 

“Oh my god, I totally forgot!” He laughed, his head leaning back against the fluffy pillow. “Was that only yesterday?” 

“Yeah, but a lot has happened since then,” Ellie shrugged playfully, rolling over a little so she was half on top of Chris and able to look him in the eyes easily.

“A lot of good stuff,” Chris agreed, his eyebrows raising as he pecked her lips quickly before she settled back onto his chest, a hand trailing along his chest. She took in the tattoos on his chest for the first time - seeing the long quote along his collarbone, a tattoo on his right rib cage, and one she immediately knew the meaning of stretched along his left pec - reading “Hazel” in delicate lettering. He stretched underneath her as his phone vibrated against the mattress, Chris reaching for it just as she began to trace his collarbone tattoo. 

“What time did you say you need to go in?” 

“I need to be there at nine,” she whispered, her finger moving over his skin and the smattering of hair there. 

“Okay, Ashlee is asking what time I’m coming to get Hazel so I’ll go get her after I drop you off.” 

“Chris…” Ellie trailed off, her brows furrowed deep in thought. “Does she know… about us?” 

“Not yet. When I brought her by the bakery I just introduced you as my friend,” Chris shrugged, his hand moving up and down along her back.

“No, not Hazel. Does Ashlee know about us?” 

She heard him open and close his mouth a few times, taking in a sharp intake of breath as he whispered,“Oh…” 

“Does she know?” Ellie repeated, turning her head up to look at him.

“She’s not really the easiest person to tell things to,” Chris whispered, a frown on his face. “I’m waiting to tell her until we’re both ready for you to meet Hazel as my girlfriend. Until then, it doesn’t really have anything to do with her. Ashlee can be… difficult so I’d rather wait until I have to.” 

Ellie nodded, her chin on his chest as her hand resumed its path along his tattoos. “I was just wondering.” 

“But I don’t want you to mistake that for not being serious about you, Elles,” he whispered, a small smile appearing when they met each other’s eyes. “I’m… really happy when I’m with you.” 

And Chris knew without a doubt how true those words of his were. He had never felt this way. Never felt this purely happy before except when he was with Hazel, and it was a feeling that he was ready to get used to. 

A/N: WE MELTED WRITING THIS CHAPTER. We really loved getting to write Chris and Ellie hanging out with her family for the first time and Chris getting redeemed in their eyes. Then, Ellie telling him those three words, and Chris knowing that they are truthful for the first time.... ever.... melts us! Oh and then the smut ;) We can't wait to hear your thoughts!

[dessarious]

Shots Fired Pt4

Beginning   Previous

“We’re sorry.” Sabine pulled back and made him look her in the eye. “I just wanted to keep you from thinking what other people said about you was true. I didn’t realize we were taking it so far.” Adrien could only stare at her for a moment. The last thing he expected was an apology.

“It’s okay.” Her look hardened.

“No, it’s not. I’m more upset that we didn’t notice how we were affecting you than anything else. I’m too used to the way Tom and Marinette catastrophize every little thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to look for more subtle signs.”

“We are not that bad.” Sabine gave Mari a level look and Cass just rolled her eyes.

“Remind me, who was it that spent three weeks holed up in their room because of one bad review?” Mari sputtered out a denial, but no one there believed her. Not even Jason, if his amused look was anything to go by. Adrien vividly remembered the time Sabine was talking about. It was before they’d taken down his father, so he had no idea she was Ladybug at the time, but he’d noticed Marinette missing from class and had stopped by to check on her as Chat. That was an eye-opening visit. She’d ranted about everything to do with her designing, so he’d found out about both her business and the fact that she was the one who made his favorite scarf.

That was the beginning of their real friendship outside the mask. Knowing what she had done, and hadn’t done, just because she wanted him to be happy made him realize how much he needed that in his life. It was awkward at first, since neither of them had any idea how to go about getting closer. It also took a few months after that for him to realize that she had a crush on him. Once they addressed that and settled into their sibling bond, they were inseparable. It was another proof of how amazing she was that when he said he didn’t have romantic feelings for her that she’d backed off entirely. The one time they’d talked about it afterward, before the reveal, had made him realize that the feelings she’d had for him were surface level, and exactly the same as his feelings for Ladybug. He’d apologized profusely to her very confused partner the next time they were on patrol. It was something they still laughed about.

“Adrien, I know you’ve been hesitant, but I really think we should find you a therapist.” Sabine’s soft voice pulled him back to the present, and he shot a panicked look at Mari. She was frowning in thought, but didn’t immediately shoot down the idea, which worried him. With all the secrets they had, seeing a therapist was an accident waiting to happen. Not to mention it would be hell to find one that wasn’t immediately prejudiced against him because of his father. Well, unless they looked outside the country, or possibly even Europe.

“I’m happy with the way things are.” The looks he was getting called him a liar, but he thought it was the truth. The people that mattered were there for him and really, how much use would therapy be if he was too stressed about letting things slip for it to be effective? No, things were fine the way they were.

“We’ll table this discussion for now, but I think it’s worth talking about more.” Mari’s words got Sabine to drop the topic, but it meant that she was going to try to talk him into it later. At least he had his arguments ready. Cass and Jason seemed to be having a silent discussion with their eyes that was honestly a bit creepy. When it ended, Jason slipped a business card into his hand without Mari or Sabine noticing. He looked at it when they moved to clean up. It was just a phone number with the name Harleen Quinzel. He raised a questioning eyebrow at Jason. Once the girls were out of earshot, he spoke softly.

“She won’t judge you for who your father was, or even anything you may have done in the past. Most of us have talked to her at least informally and it helps. She’s unorthodox, but she really does care.” Adrien felt himself choke up a bit at the kindness. It had been a long time since anyone outside his adopted family or company had treated him like a person.

“I’ll think about it. Thank you.” Jason just nodded. It was nice to have someone that didn’t push. “So, how long are you going to be in Paris?” The words came out without his consent, and Adrien winced when he realized how stupid he sounded.

“Plans aren’t firm, but as long as your sister keeps freezing out Timmy and Dick, I’d say I’ll be around a while. I’m certainly not in a rush to get back to Gotham.” Adrien hoped his smile didn’t change too much, as he felt giddy at the prospect of getting to know Jason better. He was so screwed. Jason got an evil smirk on his face. “You know what would really drive them and Bruce up the wall?”

“What?” He was impressed he answered. That expression was dangerous.

“If I hung out at your place and got them zero information on you.” Adrien actually felt his brain come to a screeching halt. Both because of the thought of them hanging out alone, and the fact that he didn’t technically have a ‘place’.

“Yeah, I’m kinda staying at the company at the moment, but don’t tell Mari or Sabine, please. They’ll insist I move in here or with Mari at her apartment, but I don’t want to put them in even more danger.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the last place I lived was set on fire and I they didn’t catch who did it, so I’d rather not risk staying somewhere without security. I also hired a private security firm to look after the Bakery and Mari’s apartment building because they aren’t taking the threat seriously. But Mari and her parents are under the impression that I rented an apartment under and assumed name to avoid issues.” Jason looked pissed. “It’s okay though. The basement used to be a staff break area, so there are actually showers and a kitchenette area. It’s more comfortable than it sounds.” The look he was getting said Jason thought he was an idiot.

“That’s not the point. The fact that you have to hide out because you’re being targeted is the problem. What are the police doing about it?” Adrien blinked at him. Did he really think the police cared about the safety of a terrorist’s son? Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Jason started cursing. Some of it he didn’t understand. Must be American slang or something.

“I’ll get Babs to look into it.” Adrien raised an eyebrow at him. “She’s like family, but she’s not, and she’ll be happy to do this behind Bruce’s back if I ask her. Her dad’s a police commissioner, so she’s grown up around this stuff. She’ll know what to look for.” Adrien felt a tightness in his chest. It had been so long since someone new was actually willing to be nice to him, let alone go out of their way to help him. And, unlike his brothers, Jason didn’t seem to want to just get in Mari’s good graces, either.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“You’re right I don’t. I’m going to anyway.” Jason got out his phone and began tapping away. “In the meantime, you staying there could actually rile them up worse because I’ll be in the building they can’t get other eyes in and refuse to look for, let alone give them, anything to work with.” Adrien let out a laugh.

“You really enjoy messing with your family, don’t you?” Jason’s smile was a bit strained.

“It’s a habit more than anything at this point. But when I know they’re just being assholes for no real reason, it becomes a moral imperative. If I can still be said to have morals.” The last part was soft, and Adrien honestly wasn’t certain he meant to say it out loud. If his hearing wasn’t so advanced still, he wouldn’t have heard it, so Adrien decided to pretend he didn’t. Everyone deserved privacy.

“The vast majority of people wouldn’t think that they didn’t have a reason to have issues with me.” Granted the vast majority of people in Paris would be more than happy if he disappeared without a trace, but that was beside the point.

“I’ve never been one of the majority and they should know better than to judge someone by their blood relatives and rumors. If Demon Spawn gets a pass after actually trying to kill most of us, then everyone else should at least get the benefit of the doubt.” Adrien blinked at that, not quite sure what to make of it. Maybe whoever he was talking about had cooked something and given them all food poisoning? That would make sense. Jason scowled at his phone.

“Babs said that they didn’t even look into in properly because you own the property so no third parties were involved.”

“Oh, yeah. I had to buy a house because no one was willing to rent to me. Even then I had to do it under a shell cooperation because no one wanted to sell their property to me. I’d probably have to move out of France and legally change my name and possibly my appearance to get anything at this point.”

“What the fuck?” Jason seemed somewhere between pissed and confused.

“People really hate Gabriel, and I don’t blame them. He’s in jail and they need an outlet, so I get to be the lucky punching bag.”

“What the fuck?” Okay, now he was definitely pissed. “If it’s that bad, why don’t you leave? Change your name or do whatever you have to do?” That was a very good question. One he really didn’t have a good answer to.

“I tried giving Mari the company so I could. The employees almost revolted. They all saw exactly how my father treated me, not to mention the way he treated them. They were afraid of what would happen if someone else took over even though most of the changes I made - in house daycare, free meals, shorter workdays, the list goes on - came from Mari and her parents in the first place. And Mari flatly refused anyway. There’s too many people counting on me.” It seemed like there was always a need to stay. “I can’t just abandon them, no matter how much I wish I could. And then there’s Mari, Sabine, and Tom. I know it’s selfish, but I haven’t felt like part of a family since my Mom died and I… I just want to hold on to it for a while.”

Saying it out just made it worse. Him staying here put them all at risk, and he didn’t care enough about them to leave. No matter how he justified it by saying they knew the risks and wanted him here, he knew better. He was just as bad as Gabriel, wanting his own way and not caring who got hurt because of it. A hand on his knee broke him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to find Jason giving him a strange look.

“I get it. Everyone needs a home. Whether that’s a place, activity, or a person is different for everyone, but once you find it, it’s nearly impossible to let go without a fight. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. Not to mention your sister might actually kill you if you tried to leave at this point.” Adrien let out an amused huff. Jason wasn’t wrong. “If you do need an exit strategy for some reason, let me know. I’m very good at making things disappear.”

He said it with a smile and a wink, but Adrien got the feeling he was serious. He was far more touched by the offer than he should have been. But the thought of leaving everything behind and starting over was so tempting. Maybe once Mari was established in the company and the employees trusted her, he could become a silent partner and go find his own life. Someday.

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[hlizr50]

My one and only contribution for @elucienweek2022, because Elorcan Week had to be my priority (since I helped host).

This was inspired by the prompt from @mercarimari:

"If you asked me to marry you tomorrow, I'd say yes." "What about today?"

Read on AO3

Lucien sat on the edge of his mattress, head in his hands. He’d really fucking done it. Always pushing too hard. Daring too much to hope. He’d thought the signs were there, that he and Elain were finally on the path he’d dreamed they would walk. His mate and he, on the road to acceptance.

She was beautiful, but of course everyone who had eyes knew that. But he had become entranced with the sway of her hips. The way her cheeks bloomed with rose dust when he said something suggestive. The way she tried so hard to act like she wasn’t staring at him, or she didn’t like the things he said, but the sweet, heady scent of her arousal betrayed her every time.

He’d fallen for her kindness, her ferocity, the way her eyes lit up when he asked about her garden. He was hers. Irrevocably. He had been for quite some time.

And of all the things he thought might happen when he’d declared that to her - when he’d looked deep into those rich brown eyes and told her he was in love with her - he never dreamed that she would run.

Lucien had only stood there, frozen and staring at the door long after it had stopped swinging on its hinges. She had run from him. His lovely, perfect vixen had gasped. Tensed. Stared at him, wide-eyed. She’d whispered his name, but didn’t smile, and his heart had cracked when she’d bolted. Like a doe in the forest who had heard a twig snap under a hunter’s boot.

He’d hardly moved once he fell back onto the edge of the bed, wondering how it could have gone so wrong. The touches. The kisses. The embraces. They had shared so much, had grown so much closer in the past few months. Had it not meant the same to her that it had to him?

The autumn fae was vaguely aware that the sun had set. He’d been there for hours, staring at the door, running fingers through his hair, burying his face in his hands.

And then, in the doorway, there she was. Looking much more disheveled, tendrils of her hair hanging limply from the crown she’d braided that morning. Lucien absorbed every detail, branding her upon his brain. Sure this would be the last time he would see his mate before she took her leave of him. Her eyes were wide and shimmering, cheeks pink and blotchy. As if she’d been crying, and he cursed himself again for scaring her away. He wanted to speak, wanted to go to her, but he was frozen with the fear of what would happen if he did.

“Lucien,” she breathed, and then she burst into the room, falling on her knees before him and grasping his hands. “Please, Lucien. Please forgive me,” she pleaded, head bowed. He could see her shoulders shaking. Hear the desperation in her voice. His brows knitted as he tried to understand what it all meant.

Sliding from the mattress he knelt before her. “Elain?”

Her head snapped up, and he fell into the maelstrom of emotion that met his gaze. She dropped his hands in favor of cupping his face, her expression beseeching. “I panicked, Lucien, and I am so very sorry. I just felt so much. Too much. And I had spent so long knowing that I would never find love again. That I would never be happy in this body and in this life. I couldn’t sift through it all. Couldn’t break the surface long enough to tell you.” She lifted herself to press her lips to his in the most achingly tender kiss. And when she pulled back, it was only long enough for her to touch her brow to his. “You have captured my whole heart, Lucien. There is no part of me that is not yours. Body, mind, soul. You are the most infuriating, arrogant, insufferable male I’ve ever known.” He huffed a laugh, and her answering giggle was wet with her teary declaration.

“And you are also patient, and compassionate, and so dreadfully kind, even when I haven’t deserved it. And if you asked me to marry you tomorrow, I’d say yes.”

His eyes widened, and his fingers trembled as he traced the calloused pads over her cheeks, her jaw, her lips and her neck. Lucien’s heart had been broken and mended by this woman before him - this beautiful, gentle, stubborn creature. His mate. Who was, indeed, as enamored with him as he was with her. With that realization he cupped her nape, pulling her mouth back to his own. This kiss was demanding and deep, a melding of heart and soul through lips and tongue. His question and her answer. His declaration and her echo.

They broke apart, each panting as they refilled their lungs. And he knew that he would not go another day without her, after having felt the loss of her. It had been only a few hours, but that emptiness had been enough to last his near-immortal lifetime.

“What if I asked today?”

Elain smiled, wide and unafraid and unburdened. She nodded, a fresh well of tears flowing over her lashes. Lucien kissed her again, their tears mixing upon their skin and on the floor. And when each of them could finally breathe again he helped her tuck her hair back into her braids and found a lovely dress of the palest yellow chiffon in her wardrobe. Then they nearly ran, hand in hand, to the temple on the outskirts of the forest. For the Mother to bless their union. To embark on their life’s journey together.

@mystical-blaise @vikingmagic33 @headcanonheadcase @ofduskanddreams @tealnymph-writes @daevastanner @booknerd87

[jalapeno-princess]

Coming Home

(Picking only one gif was extremely difficult just look @ him)

Jeong Yunho X Reader

Word Count: 8.8k

Genre: Angst, Ex’s to lovers, fluff (happy ending)

Warnings: Mentions of reader being stalked/followed by a stranger

Summary: After a long day of studying for finals at your campus library, you didn’t realize just how immersed you were in to your work until you saw that it was practically midnight. As you began walking home to your apartment, you noticed that someone began following you. Fearing for your life, you decide to call the only person you know could calm you down in such a frightening moment like this; your ex-boyfriend Jeong Yunho.

A/N: YOOOOOOO guys GUESS WHO’S BACK AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME? Okay, so, a couple things have happened since I’ve last posted an imagine. Unfortunately, I am no longer a Got7 stan (I know, I hate myself. I literally cried when I came to the realization.) It’s probably because of their hiatus (and I have the attention span of a peanut) (I think I might have adhd) so I will admit, I did get tired of waiting for them and even when they did come back, I wasn’t all that excited. However, Got7 saved my life when I first discovered them and they will always hold a very special place in my heart. Now, I am currently a huge fan of Ateez and I’ve decided to just post any Ateez stories I decide to write (instead of making an Ateez blog only because I doubt I’m really going to write as many stories as I did about Mark). I’m sorry for disappointing any one of you, but I hope you will enjoy this story! It’s pretty rough since it’s my first one in a very long time (I’m rusty). This is based on the song See You Later (Ten Years) by Jenna Raine.

It's funny 'cause I've always dreamed of me and you Now here we are Staring at the stars You just broke my heart even though you promised You'd never do that from the start But I guess we can only make it so far

'Cause time wasn't in our favour This isn't goodbye, this is simply see you laterLet me know when it's time to come back Maybe when your life is on track And you don't have to hesitate Hopefully it isn't too late Luckily for you, I'm patient I'm okay with your making me wait And as long as you're near, I'll be here Even if it takes ten years

Looking at your watch, you sighed softly to yourself in frustration seeing how late it was. 

11:15 P.M. 

You were well aware that it wasn’t the best idea to stay at the campus library for as long as you did; especially because from past experiences, during midterms and finals, you’d be so concentrated on studying that it took you a while to realize just how long you held your head between your books for. It also didn’t help that winter was quickly approaching and the temperature had to be at least 45°. 

The thin cardigan you were wearing didn’t do much in keeping you warm and you were soon regretting leaving your apartment at all that day. As much as you wanted to stay home in the comfort of your humble abode, the library held a lot of the books you needed for the upcoming literature test on Tuesday. Besides, being in your apartment all by yourself was suffocating—especially under the current circumstances. 

Biting your tongue at the many upsetting thoughts that began to fill your mind, you put on your AirPods and began to make your way back to your apartment. Living less than twenty minutes away from your university was pretty ideal; to the point where you’d walk to school on most days. However, this was the first time you walked home by yourself so late at night. 

You could feel your chest tighten up as memories from two months ago began to play in your head and before you knew it, tears began to well up in your eyes. Some of the best moments of your life—moments spent with him. The love of your life—your soulmate—your person—the man you wholeheartedly believed you were going to spend the rest of your life with—Jeong Yunho. 

It hasn’t been all that long since the two of you mutually decided that it was best for the both of you to go your separate ways—yet the heartbreak that you were going through seemed to get more and more painful as the days went on. Who could blame you? The two of you were together since junior year in high school—spending seven years of your life with someone—some of the best years of your life for that matter—you accepted the fact that it would take a very long time to move on. 

Some days were better than others; you took on two extra classes and worked overtime at your job to distract yourself from overanalyzing what used to be—what could have been if you tried a little harder. Trying your best to push away the idea of him and any of your memories together to the best of your ability, you dragged your feet in the direction of your apartment. Being so late at night, it didn’t surprise you that there were hardly any cars driving on the road. You considered Korea to be relatively safe, so you didn’t really think much of your surroundings. 

There were countless times where you would go exploring on your own whenever Yunho was working or at school himself. Everything was fine for most of the walk; there were quite a bit of streetlights and you passed by a couple of people. It wasn’t until the hairs on the back of your neck began to rise when you heard heavy footsteps treading not too far behind you. 

Maybe someone was heading home just like you were—maybe it was someone who had also been at the library, or even leaving work. There was no reason for you to be so paranoid. Your curiosity; and the chicken skin that now encompassed both your arms started to get the best of you. Reaching for your phone and pretending that you were trying to FaceTime someone, you decided to see what the person looked like. 

Not wanting to draw any attention to yourself, you decided not to turn around for obvious reasons. When you saw the taller, broader figure wearing all black behind you, your heart sank to your chest. 

He’s just walking y/n, stop worrying so much. 

Trying harder to convince yourself that the stranger wasn’t someone you had to be worried about, you slowly let out a few shallow breaths—not wanting him to catch on to your paranoia. Something inside of you told you to take a different direction; not going home just yet in attempts to see whether or not he would follow you. 

As you turned left, you noticed that this was a road that mainly families and elderly people who were settled down resided in. To your dismay, the footsteps only grew louder and soon you were running out of ideas. He was in fact following you and you had no clue as to what you should do. Unlocking your phone, you scanned through your contacts—your parents were currently on a trip in Hawaii, and you didn’t want to worry them with your current predicament. 

It wasn’t like they could do all that much to help you anyway—being over 5,000 miles away. You thought about calling one of your friends—specifically Mingi or Seonghwa, but they were also Yunho’s friends who you became close with because of him. Although you’d consider them family at this point after knowing them for almost the same amount of time you’ve known Yunho for, you haven’t seen or spoken to them since the breakup and you didn’t want to burden them after not contacting them in months. 

The thought of calling Yunho actually popped up before you considered anybody else; he was always the first person you would go to for anything and everything that happened in your life. No matter what it was—whether it was something so amazing, or something so terrible, your ex-boyfriend was the first person you sought solace from. 

Ex-boyfriend. 

That word felt so unfamiliar and you hated how it felt on your tongue. Not once throughout your seven year relationship with the older boy would you have ever pictured not having him in your life. 

The two of you started off as friends; being paired up in science class during your freshman year—Yunho was a lot more shy back then, but you were the definition of a social butterfly and it didn’t take long for Yunho to come out of his shell. Before either of you could notice it, you became the best of friends in a span of three months. 

If only you weren’t literally moments away from a panic attack, you’d smile softly at the image of a teenage Yunho. He was already so humongous; he was the tallest student in your graduating class. His hair was much longer in high school, his cheeks were puffier and his features were sharper and more defined. Back when life was so much easier and the two of you were much happier. 

Having an internal argument with yourself; weighing out the pros and cons of what could happen if you were to call him, you let the fear of what could happen to you if you continued to walk down a dark and empty road overpower the worry of contacting your ex-boyfriend for the first time after your extremely painful breakup. Dialing the only number you knew by heart, you felt as though you were about to pass out after the first ring. 

“Please—please pick up. Please—“

“Y/n?” If you weren’t so scared right now, hearing his raspy voice that you loved and missed so much would have stopped your thinking process, but you were too busy trying to think about what your next move was. 

“H—hey. Hi. I—I’m so sorry—I—I know it’s been a while and—and I—I’m sorry—“

“Y/n—y/n, is everything okay? You sound like you’re out of breath—where are you?” 

Trying your best to slow down your racing heart, your cheeks warmed up at the realization that he picked up on the second ring. Hearing him worry about you filled your chest with so much warmth—but the feeling was quick to disappear as you began to tell him of your situation. 

“I—I was walking home from school and I was minutes away from my apartment when I felt like someone was following me. At first—I just—I told myself I was overreacting but, he’s been following me for ten minutes now—“

“Where are you—did you—are you still sharing your location with me?” 

As much as you didn’t want to torture yourself with anything related to Yunho, you couldn’t delete anything. You weren’t strong enough mentally nor physically to delete the hundreds and thousands of photos and videos, nor the text messages and voicemails he’d send to you. Maybe it was the fact that you and Yunho were a couple for so long, or because you held on to the hope that you’d get back together someday—you just didn’t want to get rid of him from your life completely. Yunho was all you’ve known for most of your life and he was all you ever wanted to know. Plus, you made him a promise in the beginning of your relationship when he first shared your location with himself. 

“Although I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, promise me that no matter what happens to us, you’ll always share your location with me. I need to know that you’re safe at all times—even if there’s ever a time where we can’t be together.”  

He was always so overprotective when it came to you, but you were fond of the many ways he sheltered you, protected you and how he made your safety and well-being his number one priority. You didn’t realize just how much you missed him checking up on you; whether it was seeing how your day was going, if you were eating all your meals and staying hydrated—or sending you some words of encouragement at school or work—maybe a couple of cheeky pick-up lines here and there—until you no longer received anything from him. 

But you were the one who initiated the breakup; it took over a month for you to come to the hardest decision you ever made in your entire life. However, both you and Yunho were extremely busy; after you graduated from college with your bachelor’s degree in special education, you decided to go back for your master’s shortly after. A choice Yunho highly encouraged. 

He went straight to medical school once he graduated from community college. His dream of becoming a doctor was one he’s been working extremely hard for since the 3rd grade. You were each other’s biggest support systems. Although it was hard for both of you, you did whatever you could for one another to make sure you both achieved your goals. Unfortunately, both your schedules became too packed to fit in any time together. When you were at work, he would be at school and when you were at school, he’d be clocking in to work. You had weekends off, where as he worked both days. 

Although you lived together, you hardly got to see each other and the distance, along with the many fights that began to break out as a result of too much stress on your end and his—you couldn’t continue being in a relationship you felt you were being suffocated in. His support was no longer reaching you, and the two of you were too tired to be intimate; not even having time to kiss each other more than just a peck if you were lucky. 

On that September night where you built up the courage to sit him down and tell him what was clouding your mind, you felt as though your heart was being ripped out from your chest. It was the first time you saw Yunho cry over you. He never really had a reason to. You were so happy together; your relationship was the envy of everyone who knew of you and Yunho. 

The two of you hardly ever fought and if you did, it was over something so stupid like him leaving the toilet seat up or you leaving a coffee cup in the sink. Wherever one of you were to go, everyone expected the other to be. You were both so madly in love with one another—making it known that God made you for each other. Which is why nobody believed it when you announced your break up. How could two people who embodied the perfect definition of soulmates come to the decision that they no longer wanted to be together? 

Mingi even told you that he thought the two of you were trying to mess with him and refused to believe the heartbreaking news. It took Yunho many attempts to let him know that it was in fact over between you both. He tried his best to beg you to stay; he reminded you that he couldn’t live without you, that he loved you more than he thought he could ever love someone, that what was a couple of rocky months when he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you—he promised that he would make time for you and that he would change. 

He apologized for taking out his anger and frustrations on you, and told you that he would be nothing if you were to leave. Hearing him say all those things, on top of hearing his heart-wrenching cries as he held on to you so tightly caused you to genuinely reconsider your decision. You didn’t want to break up with him—the thought of not being able to wake up in his warm and comforting arms, all the while looking at his handsome smile as he kissed you all across your face in the morning—sitting on his lap as he played his favorite video games, trying out different recipes together that you’d see on the food network, cuddling together on the couch while watching a movie, having him lie down on your lap as you’d read a book to him, staying up on the phone with him while he’d go to America for different healthcare conventions—the thought of not being his is what tore you apart completely. 

What was worse was the thought of another woman in your shoes. It made you sick to your stomach thinking about another woman kissing him—hugging him—being intimate with him—loving him and being loved by him in ways only you should be allowed to. However, you allowed your temporary unhappiness triumph everything else and once Yunho saw how you weren’t relenting, he stopped trying. If you wanted a breakup, no matter how much he didn’t want to, he loved you to much to continue hurting you in the ways you were claiming he did.

“Yeah—I—I actually don’t even know where I am. I just turned down a street—“

“Is he still following you? Can you FaceTime me please?” 

Without hesitation, no matter how unprepared you were to see him, you didn’t care at this point. You weren’t thinking straight and you knew Yunho would have a better idea of what to do. You could feel yourself lighten up a little bit when his soft, delicate and extremely handsome features appeared on your phone screen.

“Tilt the camera behind you carefully.” 

You recognized that he was currently at Mingi’s apartment. Right after the breakup, he walked out without any of his things. You wanted to tell him that he could stay for the night, but even if you offered him to, you knew there was a huge chance he didn’t want to be around you. Especially because you broke his heart. To this day, the image of his red eyes, furrowed brows and broken form still haunts you. He didn’t deserve any of that; he was such a bright and bubbly person. You claimed that he was the actual sun in human form. Yet, your relationship grew so cold, you didn’t feel anything towards him but a burden. 

“Y/n—he’s—he’s still there. Asshole—I swear to God, I’ll kill the bastard—ah, damnit. Okay, stay—stay calm okay? I’m going to leave right now—“

It was two minutes away from midnight now and you felt like crying. Everything was so overwhelming; you were being stalked by someone two times your size and it led you to calling up your ex-boyfriend. Why was this all happening at once? You couldn’t wrap your head around it. Here you were, putting the same man who’s world you flipped upside down in a span of a day through something he shouldn’t be worrying about. Did you hate him that much? Yunho didn’t deserve to be treated this way; yet he was trying his best to help you even if there was a chance he was probably sleeping. 

“I—didn’t realize—midnight—Yunho, I’m so sorry—you don’t have to come, please just stay on the phone with me—“

“If you think even for two seconds that I’m not going to come and get you, you’ve lost your mind. Okay, tell me, do you see anyone else? Or, better yet, is there any kind of store—anywhere you can run in to until I arrive? You’re ten minutes away, but I don’t want you alone for much longer.” 

Hearing how he still cared so much about you made you regret your decisions and you wanted nothing more than to go back and change everything. You knew that if the two of you were still together, tonight would never had happened. There was no way in hell Yunho would ever allow you to walk home at night by yourself. He used to playfully scold you if you went somewhere by yourself that he considered dangerous. 

You hardly went anywhere without him or his friends, but on the rare occasions where you’d go grocery shopping late at night, he’d come pick you up and tell you how worried he was for you. Thankfully, your many prayers were answered when you saw a convenience store in your peripheral vision. 

“There’s a 24-hour convenience store—“

“Good. Go there. But don’t make it obvious okay? He might just chase after you and—I don’t even want to think about anything bad happening to you. Stay with me and let me know when you get in the store.” After what felt like hours—which you knew was probably less than two minutes, you released the loudest sigh of relief as the cashier greeted you once you walked in. 

“Okay. I’m here now.”

“Thank God.” He also sounds a lot more relieved, and you were now very grateful that you decided to call him. Nobody else would have been able to calm your nerves like he did so effortlessly. 

“Thank you so much Yunho—I don’t know what I would have done without you. I’m sorry for bothering you—I’m—I’m sorry—“

“No. I won’t be having any of that. Stop apologizing. I would do anything for you. You should already know that. You’re never a bother. I don’t care that we’re not a couple anymore, you know you can call me whenever and I’ll be there no matter what. Is he gone now? Do you still see him?” 

Every single word that fell from his mouth tugged on your heartstrings and you didn’t even notice that you were crying now. Although they could have been tears of relief, you were confident they were emotional and overwhelming tears. You were still so madly in love with Yunho; there was no doubt about it. However, with all the events that happened within the last hour, it made you accept the fact that you couldn’t live without him anymore. 

“I—I don’t see him. But I don’t know, I—I think I’m just a little frazzled—“

“I’m almost there okay? I’m about four minutes away. Don’t leave the store until I get there.” 

Although he was obviously just as scared as you were, his soft voice help calm your racing heart. How did you go two months living without this man? There were so many times where Yunho would comfort you—whether you had a terrible day at work, or failed a very important test. He would hold you so tightly, as if he were to lose you if he let you go—while running his fingers through your hair—whispering words of comfort and encouragement. You missed how much he loved and cared about you. Before you could say anything else, you were being pulled into a broad chest that you knew belong to Yunho. His arms were now wrapped tightly around your lower back as his face was buried in the crook of your neck. 

“Hey—hi—um—hi—I’m so glad you’re okay. I felt like I was going to pass out hearing you so scared—God y/n, I literally ran three red lights to get here—“

“You didn’t have to do that—“

“Stop. Like I said, I would do anything for you. That means getting a ticket or even going to jail if it meant protecting you. Now, as much as I want to keep talking about this, I’m sure the employee thinks we’re crazy. I’ll take you home.” 

You felt disappointed once he released you from his embrace, but it was your decision to no longer be able to hug him whenever you wanted to. As cliche as it sounded, whenever you’d hear the phrase “home is where the heart is” you always considered Yunho to be your home. Home wasn’t necessarily just a roof above your head. Home wasn’t just a place you’d return to after a long day. Home wasn’t just somewhere to sleep. Home was wherever you felt safest—and only three months in to your relationship did you accept Jeong Yunho was your home. 

After being in his warm embrace after two long and dreadful months, it just confirmed how you haven’t been the same since. You just assumed this breakup was for the best—that you were a distraction to Yunho and that it was in his best interest to focus on his career without the burden of a relationship. But you couldn’t have been more wrong. “

Wait—you were walking home alone in the freezing cold wearing just this sweater—oh—you—you still have this?” 

Back in high school, when you were first introduced to Yunho’s family, his mother simply adored you. She always pestered Yunho about confessing his feelings to you. She claimed you were everything she could ever want in a future daughter-in-law and more. For your 16th birthday, she gave you a box filled with a bunch of cute things. Some notepads, mechanical pencils, butterfly shaped earrings, a rainbow keychain, fuzzy socks and the sweater you were currently wearing. Apparently, Yunho picked it out; claiming that he loved how cream colored outfits really accentuated your delicate features. It was one of your favorite things to ever own. 

“Yeah of course I do. It’s my favorite sweater, why wouldn’t I have it?”

“I—I don’t know. It’s such an old sweater, and you’ve bought nicer ones—“

“Well, your mom bought it for my birthday…and you once said it was your favorite thing for me to wear other than your clothes—“

You didn’t know just how much you should be revealing to him and it didn’t dawn on you how the two of you were talking so comfortably to one another. As if you were still friends—as if the breakup never happened—as if you were still together. No. You couldn’t think like that. It didn’t matter that Yunho came out tonight to save you. You were sure anyone would have done that for you; any ex-boyfriend would have done the same. Right? Wrong. 

Nobody in their right minds would go out of their way, leaving the warmth of their apartment to enter the freezing cold; to speed on the road covered in snow for a girl who broke up with them because the relationship was getting too much for her to handle. But this was Yunho. Like he mentioned twice already; he would do anything for you without hesitation. There were countless times throughout your relationship that he would drop what he was doing to go and be with you. 

Last October, he was in New York for school and he found out you had a kidney stone—he was on the next flight back home and stayed with you for the four days you were in the hospital for. When your grandmother passed away, he was out hiking with his family and didn’t even hesitate to leave them in order to be with you. Every single time he felt that you needed him, even if you weren’t the one to call him, he’d be there. Like the gentleman he was, he opened the passenger door for you, but held you in place as he took off the scarf he was wearing to wrap it around your neck. It was foreign—yet all so familiar. Being this close in proximity with him; having him give up a clothing item to keep you warm. He always put you first, even before himself. Your happiness made him happy. 

“You’re freezing y/n—still the same—not caring about your health. Silly girl.” 

Your heart rate that was now back to it’s normal pace now felt as if it was about to leap from out of your chest. Jeong Yunho would always have this kind of effect on you, no matter how long it’s been. A tiny smile rose upon your face as you sank down in the passenger seat and thanking him softly. After closing your door, he quickly jumped in to his side and began reversing out of the parking lot. 

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re one of the most intelligent people I know, but staying out past 11, knowing you’re going to walk home by yourself? Do you not understand how dangerous that is y/n? You don’t know just how long he was probably following you for. You—he could’ve kidnapped you and—I don’t even want to think about it. He’s lucky I wasn’t there—I—let’s not talk about this anymore. I’m so pissed off—“ 

Seeing his jaw clench as his fingers tightened around the steering wheel sent a fire to your bones. Yunho was known to be a very happy-go-lucky individual. His friends even gave him the nickname golden retriever because of how energetic and friendly he was. You could count the amount of times he’s gotten angry on one hand. He was a firm believer in not wasting life on negative moments. However, you understood why he was so furious. Now that you were safe, you actually began to think about the entire horrific situation. 

What was the man’s intentions? How long was he following you for? How long did he plan on following you for? Where did he come from? Yunho was right, what’s done was done—there was no point in dwelling on it right now. All that mattered was that you were safe. The rest of the car ride was extremely quiet. Neither of you said anything else; you know there was a lot that he wanted to say. You had a lot on your mind also—but you didn’t think you had the right to say anything. You were afraid of walking on eggshells and making things worse between you two. It didn’t take long for him to reach your apartment structure seeing as how close you were an hour earlier. 

You tried to look at his facial expression in the rear view mirror and it was blank. Being with him for so long, you were confident that he was fuming—hearing you freak out over the phone probably shook him up pretty good as well. You were sure that even if it happened to anyone else, he would’ve had the same reaction. Once he parked in a stall and turned off the car, you felt a weight sink on your shoulders. This was your cue to leave—before you’d say anything you’d regret and end up losing him forever. 

“Yunho, I could never thank you enough for what you did tonight. You literally saved my life. Thank you. Thank you so much—If there’s anything I can do to show my gratitude, please let me know. I—you—we—I should go. Please get home safely.” 

Before you could give him any time to say something, you ran out the car and made a beeline to your apartment. The tears were hot on your face as they fell down your cheeks. 

Stupid, stupid girl. He saved your life tonight and all you could give him was that pathetic half assed thank you? 

It was just too much. Being with him. Sitting in a car with him knowing that you’re broken up. Trying your best not to lean over and kiss his cheek—ruffle his hair or intertwine your hands in his like you used to. It was just too much for your heart to take in one night. Right as you made it to your apartment, you let yourself in and barely shut the door before sinking down and sobbing in to your hands. 

I’m so sorry. I made a mistake. I should have never broken up with you. I’m still so head over heels in love with you. You deserve so much better than me. It took being followed and stalked for me to realize just how lucky I am to have you—to have had you. 

Those words were at the back of your throat, but they couldn’t come out. You didn’t deserve to say those things. Not after everything you put him through. Not when his best friend called you at two in the morning begging you to change your mind; telling you that Yunho was crying every single day since the break up—asking Mingi to help him be a better boyfriend to you. Asking him what he could have done to prevent you from leaving. Not when he sent you a bouquet of sunflowers on your first day back teaching even if you were no longer together—not when he texted you the first week after the breakup asking you what he did wrong and why you didn’t tell him about what you were feeling sooner. 

You always knew the love Yunho held for you was the kind of love you thought could only exist in books and movies. A love that so many people craved and desired to experience at least once in their lives. How lucky were you to have been able to find somebody who loves you and thinks the entire world of you like Yunho did. Why didn’t you try harder? Why did you let him go so easily? Why did you wait so long to come to this realization? 

Your chest began to heave and you felt like you were actually going to throw up. Your head was throbbing and you couldn’t breathe. When you heard a gentle knock on the door, you froze—deep down you already knew who was on the opposite side. You just weren’t ready to explain why you were crying. Yes—after everything that happened with the stranger, you were probably scarred. But you forgot all of that—the only thing that you could think about was the beautiful boy of the outside of your apartment. 

“Y/n—please—please open up. Y/n. Please—“ 

A part of you hesitated—the part that was worried about what would happen once you did open the door. You were afraid of acting on instant; saying something you shouldn’t or doing something unlike you in the heat of the moment. However, it was extremely cold outside and he already gave you his scarf. Plus, it was the least you could do for him after all that he did for you. 

As soon as you opened the door, he wasted no time in placing both his hands to either sides of your face and smashed his mouth against yours; not giving you any chance to react. His lips were chapped—they were rough against yours and albeit a bit cold from the cool air outside. For the first couple of seconds, you were still in shock by his sudden movements. Honestly, you had no idea how to react. Everything was happening all at once; he continued to suck harshly on your mouth, licking and sucking your bottom lip. 

Kissing Yunho had to be one of your favorite things to do with him; he was such a passionate kisser and he had the cutest heart shaped lips. He was also the type to ask you for a kiss—that’s just how much of a gentleman he was. Although you’ve told him many times that you were fine with him kissing you whenever he wanted, he still felt the need to get your permission. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you or cross any lines that he shouldn’t. 

Right as you finally came to your senses and decided to respond to the kiss, he abruptly pulled away. His heavy breathing filled the room and just by his body language, he had to be feeling uncomfortable with your lack of response. You could feel your stomach sink when he began to walk away from you and started to pace back and forth from your sofa to the dining room table. Why did you keep having to make things worse? Why did you keep hurting the man who obviously still held feelings for you? 

Although you wanted him to make the next move, you refused to allow him to beat himself up about how you were acting towards him. Yunho had a tendency to overthink and sometimes overreact. He hated that trait, but he couldn’t help himself. Yunho was the definition of a people pleaser. Even when people were mean to him, he still treated them with the upmost kindness. The beautiful boy in front of you had not a single mean bone in him. 

Sometimes, you wished that Yunho grew thicker skin and wasn’t so naive about the way people would take advantage of him. It always broke your heart whenever he’d come home defeated after one of the doctors he’d work alongside would make a negative remark about him—or when his professors would give him a low grade for assignments. Hesitantly, you took a couple of steps toward him—slowly, in order to get a sense of how he was feeling. He didn’t stop you; he stood still as though he too was waiting to see what you would do. 

“I’m sorry—I—I shouldn’t have come in—I should’ve just left—I’m sorry for kissing you, that was way out of line. I just couldn’t think straight. When you called me earlier, I—I thought I was hallucinating. Your ringtone; I thought Mingi was messing with me. So when I heard your sweet voice, I was over the moon. I thought maybe—just maybe you couldn’t continue living without me because God knows what a train wreck I am without you. But I was quick to notice your broken whispers and let me tell you—that had to be the scariest fifteen minutes of my entire life. Like I said, the thought of losing you—I would go insane. Which is why I had to come back here and make sure you got in safely.”

“Yunho—“

“It’s not a coincidence. God knows we need one another. Although I could have done without you going through all of that, maybe this was meant to happen so that we would accept the fact that we’re not happy. Well, at least I’m not. Haven’t been since the break up. Hugging you—holding you in that convenience store, it made me realize that life is too damn short for us to keep pretending as if nothing is wrong. For us to keep living a life that the other one isn’t in. You called me first—I’m not stupid and you don’t have to confirm it; I know I was probably the first person you called. You could’ve called your family or even one of the guys, but no. You called me. It’s because you know you can trust me. You know that I would go to the ends of this earth to keep you safe. To protect you and keep you out of harms way. I don’t know about you, but I’m sorry—I can’t keep living without you anymore. I’m not even living; I’m just existing. Every single day is nothing short of depressing. You’re my lifeline y/n. My purpose. Everything I do, I do it to make you smile. To make you happy. To take care of you, to provide for you and to make sure you’re experiencing nothing but the best life. It’s what you deserve. I just want you to be happy y/n, even if that means I can’t be the reason behind your happiness—“ 

Neither you or Yunho were ready for what you did next, but it all felt so natural; getting on your tip toes, reconnecting your lips together—all the while your arms snaked around his waist, pulling him as close to your body as you possibly could. Being followed by a stranger for over twenty minutes—that felt all too real. Fear always felt so real. But this, being back in the arms of the person you loved more than life itself; it felt like you were dreaming. It was too good to be true. 

Yunho wasted no time in deepening the kiss, returning his hands back to your face—as if he was making sure that you were actually there and not a figment of his imagination. You could feel tears falling down your cheek, but they weren’t yours. There were only four times you ever saw Yunho cry in your nine years of knowing him. The first time was when he found out his grandfather had cancer, the second time where he sprained his ankle during a soccer game in junior year, the third time Christopher Robin together and the fourth time, when you told him you were leaving. 

Nothing hurt more than seeing him cry; he always put others before himself—he was always smiling and tried his best not to show any other feeling than contentment. As much as you wanted to continue making out with him, there were things that needed to be said. Slowly, you pulled yourself away from Yunho; bringing both your hands up to his face to gently wipe the tears away. His eyes were watery and quickly turning red which tugged so tightly on your heartstrings. He gave you a soft smile—your movements obviously had a good effect on him. 

You reached for his hand and brought him towards the couch, allowing him to sit as you stood in between his legs. He looked at you in curiosity; probably wondering why you weren’t sitting down to which you gave him a simple shrug. Grabbing for your hands, he intertwined his fingers with yours and squeezed it—encouraging you to say whatever it was that he knew had to be on your mind. 

That’s something you admired about the beautiful boy in front of you, he was very observant and he was an amazing listener. You brought one of his hands up to your mouth and left a chaste kiss on it, earning the sweetest little smile he could muster up in a situation like this. After a couple of minutes just enjoying the peaceful silence between the two of you, you decided to tell him what you’ve been wanting to say right after the breakup. 

“You’re right. You were the first person I called. You were the first person I thought of, even before my parents. They’re actually not here right now, but even if they were, I still would’ve called you. I know, I was stupid and I should’ve kept track of the time, but I genuinely haven’t been myself since that night. Right after you left, I felt as if a part of me died. Probably the happiness—the part that received so much love, affection, consideration, trust, hope—I am happiest with you, you know that. You never fail to make me smile. No matter how hard my day could get, just the mere thought of you made even the worst days so much better. I could do anything with you by my side. But, I let the negative thoughts get to me. We were fighting all the time—we hardly got to see each other towards the end of our relationship and when we did, I hated being around you. Not once did I ever feel that way. Maybe it was because I felt as if I was no longer a priority to you or because I felt like a burden. I felt as if our relationship was ruining the both of us and you didn’t seem to notice. Maybe you did but you just didn’t care—“

“I did notice. How could I not? You’re on my mind every single second of the day. What you’re doing, how you’re doing, if you’re eating all your meals on time, if you’re overworking yourself, if you’re staying hydrated and drinking at least eight cups of water a day—what I can do to make you laugh, if you’re thinking about me. I noticed we were growing distant but I didn’t want to say anything in fear of upsetting you. I thought that if I gave you your space, things would settle down and maybe you would come to me and talk to me when you were ready. Damnit, I should’ve said something as soon as I noticed the change—I should’ve been there for you, I should’ve tried harder—“ 

Hearing him blame himself for the entire situation made you all the more frustrated with yourself. He was probably beating himself up about this for the last two months, thinking he was at fault for the fall of your relationship. Neither of you were to blame. Time wasn’t always in either of your favors but you did your best to make it work. You shook your head and cupped his cheek, releasing a sigh of relief when he leaned in to your palm. You really did not deserve Yunho; he deserved so much better and yet you were selfish. All you did was take, take, take because he was so quick to give. Little did you realize how much of a terrible human being you were for thinking he was the bad guy. 

Not only did you not try harder in fighting for your relationship—but you weren’t making time for him either. You weren’t checking up on him to see how he was doing. Everyone knew medical school was extremely tiring and you didn’t even try to encourage him or support him. Sure, you were just as tired as he was but that wasn’t an excuse. He must’ve been so sad and so lonely. 

“No. Don’t you dare blame this on yourself. We weren’t always the best at communicating but that’s also because we never really had anything to argue or disagree on. You are an amazing person Yunho. You’re so kind, patient, understanding—so caring, loving, considerate, comforting and generous. You literally risked a speeding ticket to make sure I was okay—“

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat—“ 

You playfully pinched his cheek at the interruption before grazing your thumb right below his eye. He needed to know how sorry you were, how he didn’t deserve all the pain and the grief you’ve put him through. He needed to know that you were well aware that the breakup was an extremely terrible brief lapse of judgement on your end and that if you could go back in time to change things, you would. 

“I’m sorry. I knew I was putting you through hell—all the fights were so stupid. I was the one who started most of them and I did it because I felt neglected. I felt like that was the only way to get your attention. I don’t understand where it all went wrong. But I’m sorry for not trying harder. I’m sorry for making it seem like you were the problem. I think it also stemmed from me being upset with myself and taking it out on you. You didn’t deserve any of that at all. I’m so, so sorry Yunho. I didn’t mean anything that I said that night and no, not once did I ever stop loving you. If anything, being away from you made my feelings grow if it’s even possible. I never loved anyone nor will I ever love anyone even half as much as I love you Jeong Yunho. Living without you, waking up to a cold and empty bed, not receiving your extremely cute and endearing messages, not being able to come home and fall apart in your arms when life got too hard—just not having you around—I was miserable. Waking up became a chore. I’m half—one fourth of myself without you. I can’t believe it took some very crappy misfortune for us to end up here. I should came to you the next morning when I began ultimately regretting my decision. Like you said, it was meant for tonight to happen. I don’t think I can go one more day not having you in my life. Please forgive me—please—love me again.” 

Wasting no time in pulling you on to his lap, Yunho silenced your many negative thoughts with a few chaste kisses; every single kiss melted your heart in to a puddle. He flicked your forehead earning a loud hiss from you in response before kissing the same spot and placing his forehead against yours. 

“I never stopped either. How can I? You’re literally engraved in to my whole being. I knew we were made for one another the second you introduced yourself to me and I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot. I will admit, the night you told me you wanted to end things, I felt as if my soul was yanked abruptly from my chest. I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I forgive you—I know we both made mistakes, but it’s apart of the growing process. Deciding to let you go was probably the stupidest choice I’ve ever made. But what could I have done? You were so adamant on breaking up, I just assumed you fell out of love with me. It happens, I just didn’t think it would happen to us. Promise me that this time will be different. If something is wrong, if you feel neglected, if I put too much stress on you, if there’s any issue, you need to tell me. Okay? I refuse to keep living without you anymore. Life—life is a precious thing, we can’t waste it on being unhappy.” 

You leaned in to him, resting your head on his shoulder and placing a delicate kiss on his nape. He hummed softly before running his hands along your sides, something he did if he was either filled with anxiety and needed to calm down, or horny. 

“I promise—and you need to do the same. Tell me if I’m ever mean to you or if I do something you don’t necessarily care for. I want you to run to me whenever life gets too much for you to handle. I want you to feel as safe and comfortable with me as I am with you. I want to make you happy in the ways you make me. Relationships are a two person commitment. Whenever you need me, I’m here. Always.” 

Stealing a quick his from the corner of his mouth, you stood up and motioned your head towards your bedroom, earning you the most adorable, devious smirk that never failed to set your bones on fire. 

“Thank God, all these love confessions, how beautiful you look right now and just the fact that you’re in my arms made me hard—“

“I was actually feeling a little bit tired—“ you giggled at how quick his body was to deflate against yours. 

“Babeeeee, come on it’s been three months too long. A man can only jack off so much—“

“I’m kidding. I’ve missed you just as much as you’ve missed me. I’ve missed mini Yunho even more—“

“Oh I know you didn’t just call me small—“

“And if I did?” 

He squeezed your hips before standing up and pulling you with him; throwing you over his shoulder and making his way towards your room. A soft yelp fell from your lips as he slapped your butt all but gently, before laughing to himself at the mix of a grunt and a moan that emitted from your mouth. 

“Ah, by the way—“

“Hmmm?” 

He practically threw you on to the bed in excitement, both from the many months of zero intimacy and the fact that the two of you were back together again. Your boyfriend wasted no time crawling up to you and hovered over you; placing both his hands on either side of your head. His face that held such a lustful and hungry expression was now much more soft and filled with love. 

“We’re getting married tomorrow.” 

Your eyes widened in shock and disbelief at his sudden revelation. Surely before the breakup, you’ve wondered why Yunho had yet to propose. Out of your friend group, the two of you were the only ones settled down, but everyone in your family—all your cousins were getting married and having children. Although you were content with how things were with Yunho, the topic was always at the back of your mind? 

He made comments about how excited he was to marry you one day, but he never really acted on his words. It made you wonder what was preventing him from asking you those four romantic words. But you never wanted to push him or make him feel as though he had to marry you because everyone else was. You were fine with waiting however long it took him to pop the question. 

“After what happened tonight, I realized that anything can happen. Life’s too short baby. I need to finally make you mine. My wife that is. I uh—I actually already have the ring. I’ve had it for over a year now. I know what you’re going to say—and after we broke up, I regretted not asking you sooner. I guess I was afraid of a negative reaction. I know I’ve always talked about marriage but I never knew how you felt. I’ve known it from even before we started dating that I want to be the lucky man who gets to love you and be loved by you for the rest of my life. You’ve made my life so much happier just by being in it. You are my person y/n and it would make me the happiest person on earth if you were to marry me. I won’t propose right now—not only will I not hear the end of it from you for not being more romantic, but the longer I look at those pretty eyes of yours, the more I can literally just jizz in my pants and that’s not the way I want to release tonight—“

“You never fail to make the most romantic moments unnecessarily sexual. Oh Jeong Yunho, what am I going to do with you—“

“Anything you want to baby. Well, getting married to me would be the most ideal, and then maybe helping me with the problem in my pants as celebration—“ 

Preventing him from making any more sexual innuendos, you pulled his face down to yours and kissed him as hard as you could. You bit his bottom lip and sucked on it a little rougher than expected. However, his raspy moan against your mouth sent heat straight to your core. Before things could get too hot and heavy however, you abruptly took your lips away from his and pressed your finger against his mouth to prevent him from whining or making any comments. 

“Yes, I’ll marry you Jeong Yunho. God, I love you so much. Thank you for coming back to me.” 

He beamed down at you—his adorable gummy smile had to be one of your favorite things about him and that said a lot seeing as how you loved every little thing about him. 

“I love you more y/n. Now, as much as I love listening to you talk, I love hearing you scream even more. Let me show you just how excited I am to spend the rest of my life with you.”