#soryu does medical stuff

[soryualeksi]

That's it, I'm definitely getting an NMR done.

[rockingbrooklyn]

The Bidders' Chocolate Preferences

(I really hope Eisuke and the others forgive me for exposing them like this lmao)

Eisuke:

As tough, stoic and narcissistic he might seem on the outside, this dude cannot, I'll highlight it - cannot- tolerate dark chocolate. Even a chocolate as less as 50% dark makes him gag. He likes milk chocolate and the infamous white chocolate and to be very honest, his chocolate preferences are very much similar to a three year old. Eisuke also likes those coffee flavored Hershey's kisses and coffee candies. His favorite Brand of chocolates is Lindt. He LOVES Swiss chocolate. He thinks that his chocolate preferences are lame so he tends to avoid chocolate-related discussions. He just cannot risk the others knowing how much he loves chocolate. It would be too bad for his reputation. MC once innocently offered him a piece of KitKat dark and he somehow kept a straight face & managed to swallow it without gagging (while his oesophagus was contracting painfully). Eisuke's taste buds as as underdeveloped as babies. Noone except MC knows about his chocolate addiction, except for that tiny suspicion that Luke and Soryu have. It so happened once, that Eisuke had returned from a business trip to Switzerland and MC opened his fridge to put together some food for him, and she was stunned to see the HUGE stock of chocolates and even more stunned to see how heavily Eisuke blushed when she asked him about it.

"You're not allowed to tell this to anyone MC"

"I wouldn't dare" she had said, barely stifling a giggle.

Soryu:

He doesn't like chocolates of any type and politely refuses any chocolate offered to him. It would do wonders to his personality if he started eating some though. Soryu highly suspects that Eisuke likes chocolate more than 'just a little'. If only he knew about his chocolate-fetish. He also suspects that MC knows more about it than she lets on to and has contemplated bribing her to get hold of that information. Not that it is of any use to him, but it could constitute some really valuable blackmail material.

Ota:

Ota loves chocolates! Doesn't matter what kind of chocolate it might be, he will eat it. From white and dark chocolate, candies, jellies, pudding chocolates, sugar-boiled candies, wafer chocolates, mints- he'll have it all. He loves chocolates that have a caramel center. He doesn't like extremely dark chocolates(the 90% kind), but he never refuses chocolate that is offered to him. The other Bidders often wonder how he manages his teeth despite eating that much sugar and his answer to that is "Maybe I'm just endowed with naturally strong teeth" Don't ask his dentist though- he's had several cavities.

Mamoru:

The only type of chocolate he ever buys are mint candies. Just like Ota, he stuffs whatever chocolate is given to him into his mouth. This guy is too lazy to even have a chocolate preference or to try new things out. Who the fuck even cares about chocolate? He's got his precious sleep-schedule to adhere to.

Baba:

Baba is pretty old-school when it comes to chocolates. He only eats candies and milk chocolate. Ota often teases him to have more of dark chocolate as it would benefit his advancing age. Baba always shuts him up by giving him a look which simply means "Look, we both go to the same dentist and Eisuke wouldn't mind knowing about your poor oral health." That shuts him up instantaneously. Baba is always up for trying out new candy flavors. He is that type to always have some candy on him, which he doesn't mind sharing with the Bidders, MC or little kids.

Luke:

Luke prefers milk chocolates and upto 70% dark chocolate, beyond which he'll throw up. He doesn't like caramel because it sticks to his teeth and he has a hard time cleaning them. He also does not like overly sweet candies. He is the type to eat chocolates as 'guilty pleasure'. "I read 4 massive medical journals today, so I deserve that big Toblerone bar." He takes very good care of his teeth(his dentist is proud of him). MC always brings a KitKat bar for him, along with herself and that makes Eisuke jealous.

Shuichi:

He likes all sorts of dark chocolates(no wonder he is so prickly). He wouldn't eat any other chocolate. Mints are a daily essential to him. He always carries a few packets of mints on him just in case he eats something smelly. He eats mints like an addict. He fucking stuffs his face with mint as if it were crack. Eisuke once saw him gobble up a large packet of mints as if it were nothing and till this day, he is creeped out by that. The way he inhales mint should be illegal. He probably even eats his mint toothpaste. He'll try to persuade anyone sitting around him to have some mints, especially Mamoru since he's pretty sure his mouth smells as good as a trash-landfill.

Hikaru:

He only eats super dark chocolates(the 90% and above type). He has tried every type of dark chocolate available in the store. There have been times when he has eaten a dark chocolate bar for lunch. He often shares his lunch bar with MC. He always has some dark chocolate handy. He cannot tolerate mint, no matter how much Shuichi trains him. It makes his mouth hypersensitive. He has the habit of brushing his teeth thoroughly after having his chocolate bar.

MC:

MC loves all types of chocolates, but contrary to her otherwise sweet personality, she really loves dark chocolate. Her favorite chocolate is KitKat dark(or any KitKat to be honest). She always carries a bar in her purse. She also carries lozenges and mints just in case. She's the type to sweetly offer the Bidders chocolate if any one of them seems gloomy, and they love her for it. MC has a chocolate flavored body lotion and she more than often subtly smells of Cocoa. The guys adore that scent. There was this one time when Eisuke saw MC and Hikaru sharing a bar of dark chocolate and he felt so jealous that he went on to buy a 90% dark chocolate bar with the intention of eating it and increasing his tolerance, and then proceeded to puke after the first two bites lol. Served him right.

____________________________________

Link to Masterpost

[tres-spades-hotel]

Becoming the Perfect Father: Making Time for You

Thanks to @leoamber66 @flatsuke and @otomemonogatari for having our conversation about Eisuke and families within the Bidder Universe. Apparently this is a famous blog so I thought I should try not to disappoint! Hope you all enjoy it!

We moved to New York recently and I met my new tutor. I kicked up a fuss when Daddy said I had to go to school so he hired an elderly woman to tutor me and a few other children from rich families for a while as I get comfortable with the city. But every time I come home, this happens…

I open the penthouse door, feeling the weight of my backpack on my back. Daddy and all my uncles are inside.

“Daddy! I’m home!” I squeal out happily. I ran to my adoptive father, Eisuke Ichinomiya, and kissed him lightly on his cheek.

“Hm, how was your day?” He asks.

“It was good!” I respond. Uncle Baba and Uncle Ota wave at me with exasperated looks while standing by the windows.

“Hello?! What about us?” Uncle Baba asks with a frown on his face. I giggle and run over to them, hugging them each.

“Hello to both of you!” I say.

“At least acknowledge our presence. We matter too!” Uncle Baba says dramatically.

I laugh and look around. Everyone rolls their eyes and shakes their heads. I run over to Dad, putting my backpack down by the couch, and tug on his sleeve.

“Daddy, will you play with me now?” I ask hopefully. To my disappointment, Dad says:

“I’m busy.” And promptly returns his eyes to his tablet. This happens almost all the time whenever I want to spend time with my father. The man who saved me from the streets. So I decide to do what any kid would do. Get revenge.

The next day…

“I’m home!” I skip into the penthouse as usual and see the usual faces. Like every day, I greet everyone starting with Dad, then put my bag down. But instead of asking Daddy if he would play with me, I walk over to Uncle Soryu. He looks up from his phone as I approach him.

“Uncle Soryu! Could you help me read some books my tutor gave me? They’re really hard and I need help.” I ask. I once found Uncle Soryu’s book collection and spent the whole day reading with him so, whenever I need help learning to read harder books for homework, he helps me as much as he can.

He smiles softly at me. “Of course Kiki. Let’s go to my room, it’ll be quieter in there.”

“Yay!” I take his hand when he stands up and pick up my backpack. As I pass by Dad, I see an annoyed face in the corner of my eye. And I know that Dad is watching us leave.

When we got into Uncle Sor’s room, I take out the books I was given by Mrs Sands.

“Too bad they’re not detective stories, I would have aced them no problem!” I say, pouting slightly as Uncle Soryu opens the book to the first page.

“Hm, too bad indeed. Still, the detective genre in itself is a hard-fictional topic to read so I think you’re already well on your way to becoming a reading star.” He says, patting my head.

“Thanks Sor!”

The next day…

I was given homework to learn about famous artists in history. Luckily enough for me, I have an uncle who is a famous artist.

“Uncle Ota!” I shout as I run into Uncle Ota’s suite. I find him and Uncle Baba sitting on the couch in the living room, looking bored as usual.

“What?”

“I have homework that I need help with.” I say.

“I think you came to the wrong person for that.” Uncle Baba says as he frowns and Uncle Ota narrows his eyes in response.

“Excuse me? I can help Kiki with her homework.”

“It’s my art homework.”

“See? I’m the expert in art.”

“I could help you Kiki. I know a few things about art.”

“Stealing paintings isn’t the same as knowing art Baba.” Uncle Ota mutters something under his breath.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing! What’s the homework on?” Uncle Ota says, flashing me his signature smile even though I know it’s a devil in angel attire.

“I need to research 5 famous artists in history. I figured you would know about that kind of thing.” I say, sitting in between them on the soft couch.

“I know a few. Which one do you want to learn?”

“Which one will get me praise from my tutor?”

Later that night, I’m sitting in my room writing up the information Uncle Ota told me.

“So Edvard Munch painted the Scream which is the second most famous painting after the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci…” I mutter to myself. Suddenly, Dad walks into my room and I look up.

“Hi Dad!”

“Hm, what are you doing?” He sits on my bed and I turn towards him from my desk.

“I’m doing my art homework.”

“Why did you have Ota help you with your homework? I would have helped you.” He says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Because you would have said you were busy.” I respond in the same matter-of-fact tone. He narrows his eyes before chuckling.

“I would have helped.”

“Sure you would have Dad.” I turn back around to my homework and roll my eyes. Once I hear his light footsteps and the closing of my bedroom door, I sigh.

I knew this would happen eventually since it was my plan to spend time with everyone except for Dad. This would make him feel bad about not spending time with me and in turn, make him spend more time with me when I ask.

The next day…

I come home to find Dad on the phone to someone.

“No, put pressure on them to do this…” Dad glances at me and I wave at him. He continues with his conversation so I decide to go over to Uncle Shuichi, who is reading a newspaper.

I sit next to him and whisper, “Are you busy Uncle Shu?”

He folds his newspaper away.

“Not particularly. Why?” He responds. “Well, some of my friends were teasing me yesterday because I don’t know how to play chess.”

“I suppose you would like me to teach you?” I nod a yes and he picks up his newspaper.

“Alright, let’s go to my room. I have a chess set in there.” I smile and follow Uncle Shuichi out of the penthouse, feeling Dad’s eyes on my back as I leave the room.

“So, the bishop cannot move forward or back directly. They can only move diagonally?” I ask, looking over the chess board as Uncle Shuichi plays a match with Uncle Hikaru.

“Yes, the bishop has to move diagonally and can replace any other piece that is in its way.”

“Chess becomes easier when you understand and play it enough Kiki.” Uncle Hikaru says, moving his pawn forward.

“I see…” I mutter to myself while taking a mental note of the basics. Suddenly, Dad walks into the room.

“Kiki, let’s go.”

“Why? Where?” He takes my hand and pulls me out of the room. I hear Uncle Shuichi whisper, “That possessive….” before the door shut.

“What were you doing with them?” Dad demanded.

“We were playing chess. Why?”

“You could have asked me to teach you to play chess.”

“But you were on the phone to someone. And you were busy.” He frowns in response and I skip ahead into the penthouse lounge.

The next day…

I walk slowly down the stairs from Dad’s penthouse suite, carrying some textbooks on biology, and hear Dad talking sternly to Uncle Luke.  

“Luke? Are you listening to me? You have some surgeries to do next week and…” Dad continues to talk but Uncle Luke, like always, ignores Dad as if he isn’t there and carries on reading his medical book. I take the opportunity to tap Uncle Luke lightly on his shoulder.

“Uncle Luke?” I ask and he looks up from his book.

“Yes Kiki?”

“I was hoping you could teach me some stuff about the human body? My tutor taught me some things but I want to learn it in more detail since it sounded interesting to me.”

In response, Uncle Luke smiles at me.

“Of course. Let’s go to my clinic.”

“Why does Luke only listen to Kiki? He ignores us all the time but as soon as she starts talking to him, he starts listening to her.” Uncle Ota complains. Everyone sighs as Uncle Luke takes my hand and as we leave the penthouse, I swing our arms.

“The human body is quite extraordinary. There are 300 bones in the human body from birth.”

“Really?! That’s a lot!” I exclaim to him. I’m sitting on the bed in the clinic as Uncle Luke points to various places on the fake (?) skeleton.

“Once the body has reached adulthood at the age of 25, we are left with 206 bones.”

“How 206 from 300?” I ask.

“Because some bones fuse together during the development years. But make sure you remember that 206 is not the total. There are many other bones in the human body which are not counted.”

“So we have more than 206 bones technically?”

“Yes. Give or take.”

“Wow!”

“Yes, the human body is very fascinating.”

“Hey doc I need some help.” Suddenly, Uncle Mamoru walks in with blood on his arm.

“Mamoru? What happened? Sit down.” Uncle Mamoru sits next to me holding his arm.

“Hey kid.”

“Hello, what happened? Why are you bleeding?” I ask.

“Ah it’s complicated kid.” Uncle Luke comes over with some bandages.

“I was doing some work for Eisuke and he tried legging it. I caught him but he was swinging a knife around. I was lucky not to get stabbed that hard.” Uncle Mamoru explains.

“I see, well it’s not a deep cut so it will heal soon.”

“Thanks doc. And kid, what are you doing here?”

“I’m learning science.”

“Science makes my head hurt.” He says, rubbing his eye.

“Pfft, you know, it’s funny to see you talk about work Uncle Mamo when you sleep so much!” Luke and I giggle and he huffs in response.

The next day…

Grandpa Eiji came to visit us while I was in my lessons. So when I opened the door to see him with Dad and the others, I was visibly shocked. Dad turned his head to see me and he laughed.

“What a funny face.” I pout in response but run inside anyway, leaving my bag at the door.

“Grandpa!” I scream and run right into his outstretched arms.

“Haha, hello there Kiki! How are you?” He asks, kissing my forehead.

“I’m okay! I just finished learning about electricity!”

“Oh really? And what exactly did you learn?”

“That it doesn’t take much to make a lightbulb work.”

“Haha! It took quite a lot to make it work when it was being invented Kiki. But that’s for another time, come sit.”

I noticed Dad was looking as sour as a lemon so I kissed his cheek like I always do.

“Turn that frown upside down!” I say and he pinches my cheeks in response.

“Stwap ift Ded!” I tried to say. Suddenly, a video call request popped up onto Dad’s tablet screen and he promptly removed his thin fingers from my face. I rub my cheeks, pouting as I know what’s going to happen next.

“Hm, I’ll be back soon.” Dad says and goes into his office, shutting the door.

“Is your father always like this?” Grandpa Eiji asks. I nod and I crawl onto his lap.

“Every time I want to play with Daddy, all he does is say that he’s working.”

He was quiet for a moment before speaking. “When I was a little older than your father, I always put down my work for him whenever he wanted to play or my wife, his mother, needed some time to herself. There was never a point that I said my work was more important than him or our family. Remember Kiki, family is the most important thing to anyone. So always treasure the time you have.”

“How can I do that if Dad won’t even play with me?” He only sighed. “Do you remember when we first met?”

“In the restaurant? Yes. I was very nervous to meet you that I stayed around the corner of the wall even when Dad told me to come out.”

“It wasn’t that long ago was it?”

“Nope! But now I love you very much!” I said, getting up and hugging him with all my might.

He laughed and asked, “May I ask, why were you so nervous that day?”

I looked down onto my lap and fiddled with my fingers. I mumbled, “I was afraid you wouldn’t like me.”

“Why?”

“Because Dad adopted me. Because I’m not actually his daughter. And that you would say I’m not worthy to be his daughter. And I love being his daughter! I take a lot of pride in being his daughter!”

“You have every right to be proud of being Eisuke’s child. I have never and will never say or think such things. You know Eisuke is adopted to?”

“Yes, to Grandpa Akira.”

“Akira raised Eisuke while I was… away but that doesn’t mean I’m upset that he did that in place of me. In the same way, I am not upset that Eisuke is raising you in place your parents. In fact, I am very proud that he is doing it, like Akira did for him.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Now…’ Grandpa Eiji boops my nose and says, ‘Let me tell you some stories from when Eisuke was a kid...”

A few hours later…

When I come downstairs in the afternoon, there is no one to be found. I sit on the couch and think about the past week. I know Dad is annoyed with how much time I’m spending with everyone. But this is payback for his constant refusal to play or hang out with me. Suddenly, someone walks into the lounge.

“Hi, I’m here to clean the room….” She walks in with her maid trolley and I jump off the couch.

“Mummy!” I run over to her and hug her tightly.

“Hello hon, where is everyone?” I shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t know, I just came down for a break from my homework. Grandpa Eiji went off for some work or something.”

“I see, well I suppose I should start cleaning. This is probably the only time I’ll have to some peace and quiet! Do you want anything?” She asked, smiling down at me.

“Some apple juice please!” I say and sit back down on the couch. Mum walks over with juice and some snacks.

“Thank you!” I say happily. She kisses my head and starts to clean the room. Mama isn’t really my mum yet. She’s still engaged to Dad but I already consider her my mother. We talk about lots of things, including talk about Dad.

“You know sweetheart, your Dad is quite upset since you’ve been ‘distancing’ yourself from him.” Mum uses the bunny rabbit fingers and I giggle.

“It’s not my fault Daddy doesn’t make time for me.” I pout in response. She gives me a look and I just shrug in response.

“Are you going shopping later Mum?” I ask, wiping my face of crumbs.

“Yes sweetie. I have to buy some coffee beans plus some vegetables for dinner tonight. Why?”

“Can I come with you? I haven’t left the hotel in forever!” I exaggerate, opening my arms as if the length of my hands apart shows time. Mama giggles at me.

“Well… as long as you’ve finished your homework…” She decides.

“Sure! I’m almost done anyway.”

Later, Mum picks me up and we go to the nearest supermarket. When we leave, laughing about something that Uncle Baba and Uncle Ota did to Uncle Sor, we see a limo parked by the kerb.

“There you both are. What took you so long?” Dad emerges from the car and I run to him.

“Daddy!” I hug him tightly.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to pick you both up. Who knows what would happen if I continue to leave you both on your own?” I huff in response and he lightly pushes me into the car.

While we’re on our way home, I look out the window. All the buildings, people, trees and cars passing by in a flash, sort of like the superhero. Everything went by in a blink of an eye. It felt like a few seconds went by rather than a few minutes.

As Mama and Grandpa Eiji were in the kitchen, Dad pulled me onto his lap.

“You’ve been spending far too much time with the others. When will I get my share of time with you?” He asked.

“Well….” I hesitated for a moment before saying, “Will you say that you’re too busy?”

“No.”

“No?!” I quickly turned my head, nearly headbutting Dad on his chin.

“I’ve finished all my work for a few weeks. I’ll spend all the time you want with you, Kiki.”

“Really? For real?”

“Yes. For real.”

I jumped up into his arms and hugged Dad to my hearts content. Unknown to me, Mama and Grandpa Eiji were smiling at us from the kitchen. Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s worth waiting for something special.

[flatsuke]

Can I request a headcannon on the guys reacting to the MC becoming an auction manager with them?

Okay, so I’m assuming that MC, after years of working underthe bidders and proving her prowess, finally gets promoted as an auctionmanager to work alongside them. Her job would entail handling auction logisticsand collecting feedback from the IVC patrons.

Eisuke: He’d be immenselyproud of her (after all, Eisuke lovesit when MC takes charge ;^)). It was he who brought up the suggestion of addingher to the team in the first place. At first, everyone thought he was joking,but when they saw the dead serious look on his face, they kept quiet. He’s knownfor a while that she had the potential to become a part of the business, and he’sextremely satisfied with his decision of making her an auction manager. Honestly,he’d purposely give her the most difficult jobs not because he wants to give hea hard time, but because he knows she can handle it. He’d also let her shadowhim during meetings and MAYBE groom her into becoming the next leader, whoknows?

Soryu: At first, he’d be a bit afraid for her safety andwelfare. She’s a civilian, what if she gets targeted by their enemies? Can shehandle the burden that comes with this job? What if she gets, well, killed??? The others call him out onoverreacting, and MC tells him he should trust her more. Okay, he concedes. Buthe’s only truly convinced that she’s in her element when he sees her at the IVCparty, skillfully mingling with the guests and keeping everything pleasantly undercontrol. He’s proud of her for making it this far (but he still gives her a gunjust in case things go wrong).

Baba: He’s really happy for her! He’s been the nicest one toMC since Day One of her (unwillingly) getting involved in the auctions, and he’sso happy to see her grow from a nervous employee to a charismatic auctionmanager :’) (basically this lmao). He’d be willing to show her the ropes ofanything she has a hard time doing. He’d even take her out to drinks if he’sfeeling like it. Also, you can bet he’d try to influence her into somedebauchery lmaooo

Ota: He’s going to tease her about it, saying stuff like “ohlmao I didn’t know you had it in you”, when in reality, he’s actually reallyproud of her. Yeah, he’s not gonna go around gushing about how good she is, butyou can bet he’d try to help her with whatever he can in his own way (i.e.distracting pushy IVC guests, getting her free passes to go to exclusiveplaces, using his media influence so her rep doesn’t get tarnished, etc.). Ofcourse, he’d be in charge of making sure MC looks the part of a classy auctionmanager. He’d pick her suits and her gowns.

Mamoru: It wasn’t that he thought of her less before, butnow he’s genuinely surprised that she could handle being a part of the businesswith such finesse. Now, he’s gained this respect for her (but of course, he’snot exactly going to show it out in the open). He does occasionally tease herfor being the youngest one in the group, but if some outsider tries to insulther for anything (especially being a woman), he’d gladly put out his cigaretteon said interloper, if she’d let him.

Shuichi: He’d also be proud of her (FINALLY, someone he canactually take seriously in this oddball group), but he wouldn’t show it at all.Instead, he’d show his pride by taking her into his wing and teaching her aboutthe politics that goes into the business. But of course, he’d do it Shuichistyle, which means spartan, strict, and systematic af. He’d be brutally honest with his criticism, but heonly does it because she needs the feedback for her own good. When he finallysees that she can handle herself well, he gives her a shiny new tie pin he hadcommissioned himself—you know, something to match her sharp new suit.

Luke: Wait, Sexy Bones is going to spend more time here?Working with us? Even during theauctions? Of course he’d be happy about it! More time to spend with her isalways a good thing. Well, collarbones aside, Luke’s also pretty proud that hertalents are given justice. He’s going to be really supportive about it and he’dbe willing to assist her with matters in the research/medical field if she everneeded anything (though tbh MC would probably end up assisting him in dailymatters more than anything lmao). Also, he’d definitely enjoy having tea timewith her more often, not to mention her new suit shows off her clavicle reallywell…

Hikaru: He’d snort about it and tell her she finally gotpromoted from maid to auction manager, but deep down he’d actually be pretty happyfor her, considering how much he’s seen her work from the bottom to the top. It’shonestly refreshing for him to see her work outside hotel rooms for a changebecause, for the longest time, he’s always recognized that if someone were tohandle the auctions well, it’d be her. To be honest, he’s always thought of heras an equal, so nothing would really change between them? Except maybe he’d bewilling to make a person “mysteriously disappear” if they ever messed with herduring the auctions.

[soryualeksi]

Extremely boring seminar with a stupid misogynist idiot teacher ahead - last time he had "interesting" ~evolutionary psychology facts~ for us like "because men needed a tunnel vision for the hunt, my girlfriend is better at finding stuff in the fridge to set the table :D", like NO, your (imaginary) girlfriend knows a SKILL she's been practicing and you're a useless bum, literally worse than me and *I* am the useless husband from the commercials.

Oh but the upside is that several people are gossiping and bickering about this and that, so it's like. Free intel on everything going on in the fire department and EMS in this city. (If you need to know one thing about that field is that EVERYONE knows EVERYONE ELSE working here the manlier machos the guys are the more gossipy and bickering and easily offended by everything they are lol.)

Also a guy I recently had a HUGE fight with is here and he's ignoring my presence and I guess that's the best outcome, because I expected him to flip a lid again. :'D (Story is that he's a manly macho man and I made ONE (1) slightly witty remark about him getting into a fight with the coffee machine AGAIN and getting doused, it WAS funny lmao. He. Blew. His. Lid. :'DD He's ignoring me very obviously lol.)

Ramble ramble I wanna go to work instead...

[soryualeksi]

Starting shift as a 2-people team with a guy who seems okay-ish: "hm this is probably gonna be an okay-ish day"

Ending shift as a 2-people team with that guy: "I'm beginning to think he collects the hair of the women at work from their used uniforms and keeps them in a labelled folder at home. :/"

[soryualeksi]

Sometimes I fucking hate my work and the world in itself, and it's when I meet a patient (a Person) who is 60 and their documents say "glioblastoma".

Fuck all of this.

[soryualeksi]

Taking a photo reference to know where the arms go when, well, pressing down on something that may or may not be someone’s head (I decided to make more smut lol).

Look at the photo, very pleased, this is gonna be useful. Look at the hand position.

I’m doing the CPR pose.

...

[soryualeksi]

Doctor: "Yeah, that's Epstein-Barr."

Me, a normal person, first thing I get home: *shines phone flashlight into mouth in the mirror* "Amazing. That IS super gross and distinctive!!! :D"

[soryualeksi]

Me: *randomly bursts out in snorting and giggling*

Husband: "... what's so funny?"

Me: "Coworker told a vomit story - he had a stomach bug - and it made me laugh to remember."

[soryualeksi]

Slowly finding out how everyone is an unironical fan of the same cheesy, unrealistic, locally-produced hospital soap here as me.

Dtjshrshragdagda

[soryualeksi]

The first week of work 2023 honestly felt like a whole year.

Every single day was draining in its own, entirely new way. :'D

[soryualeksi]

I have no deep insight to reveal about the issue, I've only been thinking about in an "huh" way about the dichotomy of "It's incredibly awesome how everyone has to make way for you when you drive your ambulance with blue lights and siren, how you can basically use whatever space you want and you'll still look stupidly cool" and "It's mind-crushingly exhausting, thankfully usually only after the fact, how you have to bear direct, imminent responsibility for at least three human lives whenever you flip that switch on your console, as you're accelerating several tons of steel to unsafe velocities in a public area and if you make one (1) mistake you have a good chance of causing severe harm to people".

Like I said. I have no grand insight. It's just "huh".

[soryualeksi]

Unhinged colleagues galore it seems. Today I met a nice young lady who not only berated my every damn move driving the car - basically everything I did was essentially destroying the gears or the engine or or or or even though it was all... normal stuff that cannot physically do that, I checked - but then at like 70 km/h on a very much not empty road outside town she just. Unbuckled her belt. Climbed on her seat backwards on her knees. To address the patient in the back part of the car (connected to the "cockpit" via a small window).

And I'm like O_O

And I tell her like. Look. Do not ever unbuckle your seatbelt when I'm driving because if one (1) driver in front of us has any sort of unforseen issue, such a losing a tire. Then you are VERY dead and I'm VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY deep into paperwork hell.

She got mad at me, saying "Well, then YOU check on the patient!!" No, ma'am. That's your job if you're not driving. And I have NEVER in my life met anyone who did your job by. Climbing backwards on the seat, no seatbelt, at 70 km/h.

???

Oh and also we saw a raccoon and I was like "Raccoon!!!" and she was like "I want to kill and eat it because a raccoon once destroyed my car." So there's that.

[soryualeksi]

There's legit nothing like a patient you sweat and sweat and sweat carrying them up the stairs to their second floor flat because they're too sick to walk and it's 30 degrees outside and you huff and puff and still make it.

And they go "The last people they sent didn't struggle so much. I'm not that heavy!!! >:("

:)))

[soryualeksi]

I think I passed. ;_;

I can't believe it.