#source: robot chicken

[incorrect-losers]

Bev: Fire is my only weakness

Stan: Yeah. Fire is everyone's weakness. It's fucking fire

[terrorquotestm]

Bridgens: What are you doing on Erebus!? 

Peglar: I came to say hi. 

Bridgens: Hi!

Peglar: And also to have sex after the whole ‘hi’ thing. 

[m4rb13-s0d4]

*strade opens the door while very drunkenly making out with MC*

Strade (slurring):ok...this..this is my roon..now-now *hic*...t-take your clothes off...

MC:...why-why iz your room...filled with sick children??

*he looks around...this isn't his house this is a hospital for children with cancer*

Strade:...ohhhhh this isn't...this isn't my house...uh we-we can um...i forget

MC:no...i-im just gonna go home..this is weird

*they just stumble out trying to figure out how to walk as he watches them leave*

Strade:no...b-baby please!...ah shit..

Child with cancer:*coughs*

Strade:...what did you say about my mother?

*and then he passed out*

[getting-spooky-on-a-friday-night]

Lila: Hey, Jaune. Jaune: punches Lila in the stomach Lila: GUH-!!!! aUGH-- Jaune: huff... Lila: What the FUCK? Jaune: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young….YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL! Lila, voice trembling: What the fffuck are you talking about? Jaune: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now. Lila: Lila: I'M NOT PREGNANT!? Jaune: Well, tch, not after that punch you're not, heh! I've been taking muay thai classes. :> Lila: Lila: I was never pregnant, Jaune. Jaune: Jaune: Are Jaune: Jaune: Are you sure? Lila: YES I'M FUCKING SURE. Aaron: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here? Jaune: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and— Aaron: punches Lila in the stomach Lila: AAGuhgUG- MOTHERFU--

[incorrectcomicbookquotes]

Incorrect Manga Quotes 34

(At the World Government Marine HQ)

Koby: (walks in)

Garp: What is it, Koby?

Koby: Uh, first of all; good morning, Vice Admiral Garp. (salutes) Second; uh, I left like half a sandwich in the staff refrigerator which clearly had my name on it and... now it's gone.

Garp: (shrugs) Well, that happens.

Koby: Y-yeah, I know it happens. But this is, like, the third time in a week. So...

Helmeppo: Are you accusing the Vice Admiral of stealing your sandwich?!

Koby: No, no, no, no, no! I-I'm not accusing anybody! It's just... I know only the three of us use that refrigerator and... well, heh, I didn't steal my own sandwich.

Garp: Then, clearly, Helmeppo took it.

Helmeppo: Vice Admiral! Respectfully, I did not steal the sandwich!

Garp: Then, by process of elimination, you're saying I took the sandwich?

Helmeppo: Uuuuuh, well... it was either you or me and... I know it wasn't me-

Garp: Koby, be honest; which one of us was most likely to have stolen your sandwich?

Koby: Uh, well, let me-hm...

Helmeppo: Er, keep in mind; only one of us hit his own grandson.

Garp: Yes! Exactly!

Helmeppo: What do you mean "yes, exactly"?!

Garp: I hit my own grandson! Clearly, I'm a good person, right?!

Helmeppo: I need to tread really... carefully...

Garp: Should I have not hit my grandson?

Helmeppo: You absolutely should have!

Garp: Hitting your grandson is good! Which makes me a good person! So I wouldn't steal a sandwich!

Helmeppo: Again, I really, really want to think about my choice of words here.

Garp: Koby, what do you think? Am I a good person?

Koby: Uh, heh-heh, I mean, "good" and "evil"... it's all relative, really.

Helmeppo: Pussy.

Koby: Well, uh, historically speaking, hitting people... is bad.

Garp: Not always!

Koby: No, no, no, no, no, no! Just - just in a general, broad-stroke kind of way, y'know-?

Garp: What about hitting turkeys, hm? Hitting them to kill them?! Is that wrong?! Did you think about that when you were making your turkey sandwich?! Does making a turkey sandwich make you a bad person?!

Koby: ... I never said it was a turkey sandwich.

Garp: (trembling) I... I... I admit it. I took your sandwich, Koby. Therefore, I am a bad person! Therefore, a bad person hit his own grandson! Oh, what have I done?!

Koby: (smiles) Vice Admiral... only a bad person would hit his own grandson... but only a good person would feel bad about it!

Garp: (in tears)Thank you, Koby!

Helmeppo: Awww! Are we bringing it in?!

Garp: Oh, we're bringing it in!

Koby, Garp, & Helmeppo: (hug it out)

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Lord Redgrave: Fire is my only weakness

Geoffrey: Yeah. Fire is everyone's weakness. It's fucking fire

[incorrectmlpstudentsixquotes]

(Terri Belle taking the escalator in Thrace…)

Thracian Soldier #1: (passing by Terri on the opposite escalator, saluting Terri) General.

Terri Belle: (saluting back) Soldier.

Thracian Soldier #2: General.

Terri Belle: Soldier.

Thracian Soldier #3: General.

Terri Belle: Soldier.

Thracian Soldier #4: General.

Terri Belle: Yep…

Thracian Soldier #5: General.

Terri Belle: Uh-huh…

Thracian Soldier #6: General.

Terri Belle: Yo.

Thracian Soldier #7: General.

Terri Belle: (sigh) Soldier…

Thracian Soldier #8: General.

Terri Belle: Soldier… Soldier… Soldier! Soldia-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah!!

Thracian Soldier #9: … General.

Terri Belle: Go fuck yourself…

Thracian Soldier #10: General.

Terri Belle: Go fuck yourself.

Thracian Soldier #11: General.

Terri Belle: Go fuck yourself!

Thracian Soldier #12: General.

Terri Belle: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!

Thracian Soldier #12: Aww…

(………..)

Thracian Soldier #Q: WAZAAAAAP?!

Terri Belle: … (long, tired sigh)

[incorrectmarketofmonstersquotes]

(Kovit wakes up locked in the cage.) Kovit: Uh-oh.   --- Stage One: Denial   Kovit: It's no big deal. Maybe someone will come let me out. I'm gonna have a good laugh about this tonight.    --- Stage Two: Anger

Kovit: Well, this is just *bleep*ing perfect!! Stupid cage! Stupid Death Market! Ah! I wanna bite someone in the face! Mother*bleep*er!!!!! Mother*bleep*er!!!!!! Mother*bleep*!!!!!!! Ahh! *Bleep*!!! --- Stage Three: Bargaining

Kovit: If there's anyone up there... It's me, Kovit. Listen could you just give me a mulligan on this one thing? I'll stop torturing people!...for a day! --- Stage Four: Depression  

Kovit: (crying) MOMMY!!   --- Stage Five: Acceptance

Kovit: You know somethin'? I'm cool with this. I-I bet, I bet the afterlife has all the Pet Crossing I can play and everyone gets their own Slurpee machine. Yeah! Take me sweet death! I await your loving embrace!  (Nita comes in) Nita: Kovit: Kovit: Oh hi 

[athfiq]

Dr. Weird (To Steve on the phone): What? (About a destroyed Weird Labs). Oh oh oh JUST rebuild it?! Oh real fucking original. And who’s gonna give me *loan* jackoff, you? You got an ATM in that redheaded troll wig?

[incorrectlooneytunesquotes]

Queen Tyr'ahnee: Everyone just sort of lost interest. I think as you get older, ruling the galaxy just seems like too much trouble. Duck Dodgers: Am I done yet? Commander X2: You'll know, Dodgers, you'll know.

[yoursghouly]

x

[lunylac]

[SFM] I have a song for you (Happy Valentine`s Day!)

Here comes Valentine's Day! This time I decided to do something cute and maybe naive, but positive because of that. I've liked the way Bonnie and Chica look next to each other for many years now

[terrorquotestm]

Franklin: So, tell me, Sargeant Tozer, how do you plan on putting down this creature everyone’s talking about?

Tozer: By shooting it with guns! That’s how I solve all my problems.

[katherinelee1369]

(via https://comic.studio/s/9138)

Skit 12: Counter Strike Source Commercial Parody (audio of Robot Chicken)

[d0llh0use-of-h0rr0rz]

I'm just gonna say it, "adult" parodies ov children's media characterz that just make them drug addicts or murderers or just shitty ppl in general r so fuckin uninspired and unfunny that itz annoying, wow u made an animation where Mickey Mouse iz an achoholic who beats Minnie and thatz the entire joke? How original! U wanna medal 4 ur amazing, totally mature adult wit?

Itz just so tiring, if you're gonna do a parody atleast b original instead ov playing bingo with all the fucked up thingz u can include

[thewertsearch]

GG: Why not just turn it off then? TT: Keeps them both on their toes. GG: Who? TT: Jake and the responder. TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane. GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with? GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?"

So, here's my initial read on Lil' Bro:

In simple terms, he's the kind of person that Rose thinks she is.

Skim Rose's conversations, and you'll get the impression of a cool-headed, impartial leader. She directs John's activities in the early Acts, 'coerces' Consorts and Sprites to do her bidding, and generally behaves as though she's in possession of all the facts, holds all the cards, and has the nerve to make the tough decisions.

All of this is false.

Rose Lalonde spends her entire session in an escalating state of barely-repressed terror. She has no idea what's happening, and spends most of her time backed completely into a corner, forced to rely on increasingly dubious sources of intel to stay abreast of events.

After her 'informants' run her around the Medium like a headless chicken, Rose finally snaps, sacrificing herself in a desperate last stand against Perfect Jack - and once her Dream Self wakes up, the first thing she tries to do is sacrifice herself again. Lalonde likes to talk a big game, but it's abundantly clear that she was never in control of the situation.

Lil' Bro, though?

This dude has robots monitoring his co-players. He's trained an AI secretary to manage his conversations, who apparently doubles as a tool to train psychological weaknesses out of his friends. He's even got an automated alert set up for Jane's own protection, and I'd bet Boondollars to donuts that Jake and Roxy have 'em too.

This guy actually is in control. He's deploying his forces, consolidating his resources and shoring up any perceived weaknesses in his allies. This is a type of Player I don't think we've ever seen before, and I'm very interested in what Sburb might have in store for him.

The closest analogue I can think of, really, is Vriska, who also captures and deploys her resources carefully. But while Vriska may take an occasional pawn, Lil' Bro is the first Player we've seen who's building an entire board.