#speedstick

[leprosycock]

OHHHHH MY FUCKKNG GOD

they should be prosecuting the entire staff of twitchcon and austin and will for reckless endangerment for allowing this man to be in the same building with any individual under the age of eighteen

[trollwizard]

bibi thinks it is worth it to go through dying in new and inventive brutal ways

as long as someone cheers and sprays their bottle of beer over her corpse while going "THAT WAS SICK DO IT AGAIN"

[niconiconwo]

Tried to find a new deodorant today and what the fuck is wrong with deodorant makers like every single one was fruity bullshit. Like god fucking damn it, every last one smelled like if you were a bowl of fucking froot loops except three that smelled like antiseptic (derogatory).

Not a single one was musky or woodsy. I don't want to smell like a manwhore I want to not stink and maybe remind people of freshly dewed woodlands.

[cottoncandyswisherz]

bae i luh you

peaches asked, so i delivered because who am i to say no to a god?

bf!chris x gf!reader

warnings: fluff, HATING ASS HOE, suggestive, swearing,

-

the bass was BOOMING in the tara's living room. today was nicks second space camp drop and ms. yummy insisted on celebrating with a party because of course.

as y/n stepped into the house she was assaulted by the smell of alcohol and sweat.

someone needed a fucking speedstick because DAMN!

anyway, she was brought out of her thoughts by her boyfriends arm being snaked around her waist as she walked. 

"you alright chris?" she asked.

"yeah im good. im just not trynna get fucked up tonight, so you gotta stay close." he reassured her.

"i wasn't leaving your side anyway." she said, grabbing his hand and making her way to their crew. "SUP SLUTS?" she shouted and everybody cheered. 

and the night went on just like that. 

taking a shot for solidarity, partying with their friends, and losing themselves in the night. everyone danced and enjoyed each othe

r. chris and y/n particularly enjoyed each other. 

suddenly y/n's new favorite song came on. as soon as she heard that "i say HOOOOO BABBYYYYY" a switch flipped. 

the moment was no longer about enjoying the feeling of chris being semi-hard on her ass. it was about letting the whole house know that he was hers.

and wreck-it ralph himself couldn't break that. 

so she did what any self-respecting woman would do. she began screaming the lyrics to him while moving her body and making heart hands. 

bae i love you you my everything im yo main bitch fuck a wedding ring

chris just laughed and began singing along with her, pulling her body to his, so their noses were touching. 

in this moment, y/n realized how much she loved chris. what she'd do for him. she'd keep every secret. she'd lie for him. she'd kill for him. she'd die for him. she'd live for him. 

did it scare her? fuck yes. 

she was supposed to be a pimp, not a lover girl. and she only knew this man for a year. but if president sexyy can be tied down than so can she.

i only knew him for a week but i swear thats my boo i might let the nigga trap me bitch my summer through but dont give a fuck do anythang for you

the couple was in la la land (ryan gosling hit me up!) as they danced and laughed and loved up on each other. 

to the untrained eye, it was disgusting. but to their friends, it was the moment they'd all been waiting for.

matt smiled with pride at the side of chris being with who he really wanted to be with, rather than who he think people want him to be with.

nick was shocked at chris being so openly in a relationship after physically cringing at the mere thought of sharing a scooter with a girl, but happy for him nonetheless.

tara was damn near in tears, seeing y/n being her true soft self.

jake was wishing he had someone he could be gross and cute with.

tril (who introduced the pair) was just glad chris was finally getting non-toxic pussy and y/n was getting the dick she deserved.

but of course the moment had to be ruined. 

there's always a bitch ass bitch trying to  kill the vibe. 

or should i say, a bitch ass bum.

as soon as the couple saw who'd been standing there staring at them like monkeys in a zoo, they made eye contact and simultaneously busted out laughing.

"what do you want bruh?" chis asked, sighing in an attempt to control his giggling.

"you're fucking with her after we just broke up two weeks ago?" she nudged her head in y/n's direction, which only changed her mood from wildly entertained to mildy irritated. 

"i'm not just 'fucking with' her." chris responded bluntly. "she's my girlfriend. my girl. friend." chris made sure to enunciate his words because he knew this girl was a little slow. "something you would have had to been for us to 'break up'. which we never did. because we never dated." he pulled y/n into his side and made sure she was good before he looked back at his old talking stage.

y/n was more than good. her pussy flooded when chris called her his girlfriend. 

nigga we go together tell them hoes we go together

"but-"

 this bitch still fucking here?

"but nothing hoe." y/n butt in, deciding to handle this situation herself. she stepped to the girl and looked her good in the eyes, to make sure she felt every word. "he just told you he has a girlfriend so get the fuck on and find something safe to do."

the girl cowered and walked away without another peep. leaving chris and y/n to embrace each other with passion and love and lust and all the other good feelings.

it was official. everyone knew they were together. 

everyone knew that they were each others. 

what more could a retired pimp ask for?

niyah speaks luh part two to feed yall for the week

taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @mattssluttygf @zniyadgaf

remember that if no one loves you, mommy loves you (and by mommy i mean me)

[swordbeliever]

Hey I heard you've been on T for awhile I've just started and know I'll start to smell soon, do you have any tips on how to keep smelling fresh cause I'm worried about stankin’

LMAOOO i love this ask…. i genuinely do have some good advice on this i think because im quite a Sweaty Fella & come from a family of similarly sweaty and stinky guys LOL

my main advice is

1) find a GOOD deodorant and consider antiperspirant if it doesn’t bother u. lots of guys use old spice and love it, personally it breaks me out so i tend to use the irish spring speedstick antiperspirant (it’s also dirt cheap) and also a spray deodorant to refresh. i’ve tried natural deodorants like native or tom’s and they really don’t do much. i personally just say stick to the cheap stuff because it usually works and smells decent!

2) GOLD BOND!!! especially if ur heavier set / particularly in the thigh and ass area. this shit SAVES me during the summer from diabolical swamp ass. i keep a travel size bottle with me at all times. slap some in ur underwear in the morning, between your thighs to prevent chafing, and really anywhere that sweats more. again u can go with the cheap shit it works the same.

3) if u do use cologne, don’t overdo it. you do NOT wanna be the guy who smells like he just sprayed a whole can of axe on himself. one spritz per shoulder, one on your lower half, and maybe a spray/walk through if you really need it. better yet, use an aftershave and put a dab on your wrist, rub your wrists together, then on your neck.

otherwise just shower often & use a good soap (i usually do an unscented soap to wash my body first then a scented one/body wash after)

[ballternia]

beebs i know you use speedstick religiously, but are there smells you like outside of that? maybe if worn by pretty girls?

TRANSLATION UNDER THE CUT

BN: one time i met a girl who worked at the uh BN: the chickenasium BN: yknow where they take lawnring menace poultry and get it all deep frieded BN: anyway she smelled like honey butter and uh BN: well BN: menace poultry BN: and the secret mix of 413 herbs n spices BN: and i thought to myself BN: bibi you cant approach the counter fully erect like this BN: think about math problems or smth and then go get lunch BN: i ended up gettin the two piece combo IF u even care

[mr-camhed]

Some other Transformer characters i made/envisioned that i might archive/finish here:

Doominator, Junkion mercenary, Decepticon, transforms into The Ford Mustang in Death race, a cold, cruel and nihilistic survivalist that only believes in The tendency of evil and The goal of survival thanks to his tough upbringing.

Cometron, Autobot intelligence courier, Velocitronian, transforms into a GT1 street car, has an unhealthy obsession with being faster that she would risk her own life for it, idolizes Blurr.

Tailgater, Decepticon sniper and ground squad leader, transforms into an Audi A8, War crimes enthusiast who almost habitually murders civilians and medics so much he fragged a few of his own command officers mistaking them as civilians which causes chance of promotion down The toilet and frustration he can only quench by murdering more innocents and sometimes souring the relationship with Decepticon allying species. Leads a team of genericon called "Karashni Squad" with a fellow Decepticon named Bulwark who transforms into a compact station wagon.

Landread, Decepticon "pretender"(think IDW Ultra magnus, transformable robot in armor that makes him bigger transformable) and battlefield commander, outer armor turns into Main Battle Tank, inner robot turns into a station wagon. Spark brother to Bulwark, reckless and short tempered, believes in actions over words, hates substanceless egoist like Autobots and staff officers with a passion, functioning alcoholic.

Munitionwash/Ammunitionwash: Decepticon Conehead seeker assassin, transforms into vector thrust VTOL strike Fighter, dive bombing enthusiast, thinks dashing fast enough that further witnesses can't identify you with enough firepower to kill anyone close enough to bear witnessed suffices as assassination. Almost always smokes a cy-gar, which can be also used as a weapon.

Skywalk: Autobot female seeker(probably one of a kind), police patrol, transforms into a light multirole fighter in police livery, very ammo conservative, only shoots when she's absolutely sure about it is garuanteed to hit.

Algorithmaster: Decepticon Data analyst and communications expert, transforms into a long chassis Mercedes Vario TV van with a telescopic antenna mast. A Decepticon who keeps a low profile to hide its own perversity and sadism, Algorithmaster is a good substitute for Soundwave if you can't get ahold of him for intelligence or surveillance missions when he's not secretly causing chaos by disrupting The dataflow of wherever he is for fun or doing sentient life trafficking for money. Has The major Weakness of being top heavy in both modes but especially in van mode and toppling over almost garuanteed to break The antenna and heavily diminishing his effectiveness.

Whitenoise: Autobot aerial forces and later Cybertron Security bureau agent, transforms into an Antonov An-71 AWACS Aircraft. Determined on justice to The level of singlemindedness and even overconfidence, Whitenoise would often put herself into danger to pursue her enemies. She Was Algorithmaster's coworker in Iacon's telecommunications centres where she accidentally discovered his illegal activities which caused her to be kidnapped and almost brainwashed by Algorithmaster before she was rescued by Orion pax, Strongarm and wheelarch where she bodyslammed herself and a chair into Algorithmaster's back and broke his antenna to stop him from frying The officers' cerebral module with his data bomb attack that kept her in a trance like state. After she found out that Algorithmaster had escaped after The Kaon riots and Decepticon uprising and is still at large after The war, she began to embark on a quest to bring The criminal back to justice.

Duke O'Death(Pirate name/press nickname)/Speedstick(original name)/Stealthclad(preferred name to be called): Former Decepticon, currently leader of Space Pirate organization Deathkneller, wanted by both The Galactic senate and Blackbox Consortium for Attacks against their fleet, Empurata Victim and triple changer, transforms into an armored muscle car and a stealth attack helicopter. Semi schizophrenic, criminal with principle and a code, either completely disassociating and silence or extremely friendly and talkative depending on situation and almost no inbetween.

Transporticus Maximus/Giganticus Maximus/DeathKneller(real name unknown), ancient Titan whose origin is still mystery, transforms into a 20 mile long 10 mile maximum width interstellar warship with a black hole powered star destroying weapon that will completely exhaust its entire power supply to fire. It was found drifting in space by Duke O'Death after his former flagship Just Defense, a hijacked Galactic Senate heavy cruiser was crippled in a Battle against Galactic Senate task forces, with almost everything still in working order but nobody on board and The spark field in it destroyed. Its identity as a Titan is hidden from most of The people with parts grafted from other vessels, The destroyed sparkfield cloaked by a medibay for Mechanical lifeforms, and The chamber for its almost always inactive, temptingly presumable as dead cerebral module hidden behind a secrect entrance in Duke O'Death's personal quarters.

Projectile: former Decepticon fire support, bodyguard of Duke O'Death, transforms into a heavy artillery, has a massive hole in his head and cerebral module implanted into his chest. Determined and simple minded, Projectile does not think much beyond his own duty, and luck would have it, he almost always gets a reliable commander.

Pulldown: Former Decepticon road transport team, bodyguard of Duke O'Death, transforms into a wheeled heavy duty tractor, partner and mobility aid to Projectile. Similarity Determined and simple-minded, but also smart and confident, she would almost always finish her job with flying colors.

Heavytoll: Decepticon logistics support, transforms into a two wheeled heavy tractor, has no legs in robot mode and has to use his hands to walk and work, and doesn't believe in perfection.

Hardcore: Decepticon morale officer, Victim of an especially and deliberately botched Empurata-shadowplay combo, transforms into and R129 Mercedes SL 73 AMG sports car. Formerly a musician and DJ For underground radio in Tarn who was framed by a disgruntled neighbor which causes him to have his hands melted into nubs and mind completely destroyed; although he would later become a performer for Megatron during his gladiatorial fights after Hook rebuilt his hands as much as he can and gave him his mouth back. Capable of instigating neutrals and even weak minded Autobots into fighting for Decepticon with his music.

Trashmaster, Functionist universe Model worker, transforms into a garbage truck, being a lower caste worker who almost always have to clean up after The frequent pogrom of The disposable class, Trashmaster was forced to work hard to try and survive. However, hia hard work only ended up in tighter schedule and more demanding quotas that takes further toll on his physical and mental health which caused him to becomes addicted to at first drinking, before an escalation towards Circuit buffers, Circuit boosters and Circuit Speeders to cope with The pressure of cleaning up more and more bodies and maintaining a public Appearance, until his mental programming finally snapped and began ingesting Energon off corpses of The disposed and at first later extended to murder and cannibalization of still living Transformers which were overlooked by functionaries to keep the facade running.

Combiner teams:

Succorbots(pronunciation: Secure-bots<by Autobots and beings leaning towards goodness>/Sucker-bots<by Decepticons and beings leaning towards evil and uncaring>), Autobot search and rescue team similar to Protectobots, combines into Lifeline.

Members:

Speedbump, Leader and surgeon, transforms into an armored command and rescue truck, almost totally blind due to damage of brain module by a gunshot would inflicted by a Decepticon named Tailgater, Pacifist, never carries weapon, can't see beyond arm's length, still actively does search and rescue on battlefield. Torso of Lifeline.

Sundance, Medic, transforms into a UH-60 rescue helicopter, almost got killed by her spark brother before the war and was rescued by Speedbump and became his protege, also studies Psychology in hopes of trying to cure her brother. Left Arm of Lifeline.

Skylift, Transporter and Anesthesist, transforms into a heavy lift tiltrotor, was a Decepticon until the Faction became less about improving The life of The lower caste, The most aggressive of The group, gets a little excited when regular anesthetics fail to knock their lights out sometimes. Right arm of Lifeline and usually pairs with Recoil.

Signal, detector, minesweeper and hazard disposal, transforms into a wheeled ground penetrating radar/mine detector, formerly a treasure hunter who was enthralled by The experience finding life after a major earthquake killed his old partner, left leg of Lifeline, can ne paired with Recoil in vehicle mod.

Biclaw, debris cleaner and hazard disposal expert, transforms into a twin boom excavator with both caterpillar track and retractable legs, former construction, great at digging but still still slightly clumsy at medical, Right leg of Lifeline.

Recoil, Armsbot(arms micron but larger), security, transforms into a automatic incapacitator launcher, appointed by Autobot high command to make sure the team doesn't get killed, pairs with Skylift and can be used as a weapon for Lifeline(although Speedbump would not use it unless the other member insists).

Decapiticon, Decepticon Genocider group, used by Decepticon high command at most dangerous place in order to destroy enemies and hopefully these mentally unstable mechanical monstrosities would die in it too. Combines into Autocide.

Members:

Obsolence/Obselence, leader, triple changer, Empurata Victim, extremely Eugenic supporter, worshipper of powerful beings such as Quintesson; Unicron and Hytherion, wishes to be a Phase sixer or Warrior Elite, turns into an armored Fire truck with a heavy flamethrower and an Ekranoplan with heavy missiles, and The torso of Autocide.

Annihilate, ax/saw crazy helicopter gunship, wears a mask and favorite weapon is his armscon Powersaw. Would Kill anyone that's not his Decapiticon buddies if he pleases, Right arm of Autocide.

Thud, Sociopathic antisocial, turns into a heavy tank, The smartest of The bunch and only isn't The torso because he was beaten into submission by Obsolence, still wants to challenge leadership ever now and then, Right leg of Autocide.

Knackercracker, a lover of fighting unfair, turns into a wheeled MLRS that can sprout wings, Right arm of Autocide. Most normal member of The group, although The standard isn't really high.

Nonclockwise, seeker, transforms into a strike Aircraft, mind filled with contrary thoughts so much that it can only think straight when commiting war crimes. Left leg of Autocide.

Powersaw, Armscon, turns into a large circular saw. An unfortunate steel worker who witnessed his coworkers and friends murdered before being kidnapped and enslaved by The killers when The war broke out, Powersaw has no choice but comply and hope to be out of The misery as soon as possible. Handheld weapon of Annihilate and Autocide.

Clearifycons, Decepticon infiltrators that turns into sanitary related equipments. Combines into Stinkatron.

Members:

Dumpster, Leader, interrogator and intel gatherer, turns into a Dumpster truck and mobile trash crusher, an absolute slob coated in a concoction of blood, energon, tissue fluid and other substances that are absolutely repugnus to enemies, loves to destroy things that are considered beautiful. is The torso, left arm and namesake of Stinkatron.

Sewer, infiltrator and saboteur, turns into a "mobile waste fluid disposal unit", The most miserable being probably ever seen because of The body he was constructed cold in, and uses the negativity to absolutely raise hell to The enemies. Lower left leg of Stinkatron.

Sweepvan, infiltrator and assassin, turns into a streets sweeper truck, has mysophobia, and tries to keep enthusiasm for The job. Left hip and right leg of Stinkatron.

Grassflyer, infiltrator and surveillance, turns into an industrial mower. Often mentally detached from The work of cleaning, Grassflyer would uses circuit buffer(opposite effect to circuit booster) agent to break up The monotony which causes him to pick up other things. Lower left arm of Stinkatron.

Stratum, strategist and scout, turns into a sanitations department patrol station wagon, The smartest of The group who was kidnapped by his Sanitation department colleagues into The Decepticon cause, Stratum is trying to find balance of searching for means of escape and survival. Head and upper right arm of Stinkatron.

[raymend]

officially decided im a speedstick power sport man not an old spice pure sport/deep sea guy. the speedstick one is way stronger and i bought it cuz i saw the northernlion clip where he was COMPLAINING about speedsticks antiperspirant aspect being so strong he was washing it off in the shower the next morning and he made the switch To old spice cuz he wanted something weaker and i was like 🤯 woag i gotta change my game. and i did. and its been notably better its kinda awesome

[sga-owns-my-soul]

I actually have so many more I'm not done 😭

Woosley would smell bougie as fuck at all times. Pays good money for really sophisticated cologne and wears it every day, not just for special occasions.

John smells very natural. Not bad in any way just (and this is the only way I can describe it) natural man musk. (I don't like the term musk idk why). He would probably also smell like whatever cheap soap and deodorant the base keeps in stock. But when he wants to smell nice, that's when the former rich kid allegations start to hit. Because he'll buy expensive cologne (not as bougie as Woolsey but still luxury) but probably wouldn't bother to change the deodorant so on special occasions, he'll be smelling bougie mixed with irish spring and speedstick.

I could go on forever with the dumbest, most in depth scent predictions for characters.

work got in the way of my posting how rude anyways

woolsey would smell SO GOOD that man would be the bougiest smelling motherfucker in the city i love it

also i think john would also smell super good but like you said it's a very natural scent

i'm actually obsessed with this PLEASE feel free to send me more in depth scent predictions

[thebonesofhoudini]

An excursion into deep sounds and atmospheres of all types. I hope you enjoy this one. I'm on Twitch.tv/temisanadoki Tuesday nights at 8pmMT/10pmEST.

As always, mixed by me on the 1s and the 2s with love and respect to the music. Enjoy.

Tracklist:

Mos Def & Talib Kweli feat. Black Thought - Respiration (Flying High Remix) Black Star - Respiration (Pete Rock Flying High Instrumental REMIX) Reborn - Right To Be (Epic Mix) Part 2 - Wireless 2012 Electribe 101 - Talking With Myself (Next Big Thing Mix) The Utopia Project - File #4 Red Sparrow- That's The Way Of The World Norma Jean Bell - Late Night Show (Theo Parrish Remix) Freestyle Man - Love Story Circulation - Patterins (Iz & Diz Ghosts In Detroit Wake Up Dub) Nick Holder - I Once Believed In U (DJ Q Remix) Break SL - Be Strong Trusme - W.A.R. Dub Boobjazz - Departure Kerri Chandler - Hexadecimal Tilman Tausendfreund - In My Dreams Coffee Shop Mike - 5am Terry Baldwin Housemaster - Groovin' (Club Mix) Boo Williams, Classic Fingers Hush Hush - Too High C.K - Speedstick Marcel Dettmann - Corebox Brotherhood - Memorial Smith (Daniels Buki Good Remix) Ron Trent & Anthony Nicholson - Soul Samba Express Taster's Choice - Instant Coco (Afro Conga Mix Pt. 1) Taster's Choice - Instant Coco (Slezzysmoothe Mix) Sun Children - Seduction Grant - Back Mind Lisa Shaw - Telling On Me (Restless Soul Mix) Free Energy - Happiness Boobjazz - Free Your Soul (Original) U.K.O. - Channeled

[deodorant-eater]

What kind of deodorant do you eat?

This Question isToo personal But i Munch on that Dollarstore Speedstick every night Before Bed In order to Quell my thirst IfTHats a Good answer Sorry.

[luna-sheep]

To people who sweat a lot or worry about smelling bad, i REALLY encourage you to invest in a "Men's deodorant if you haven't tried it yet.

That shit fucking works wonders. A cheap men's speedstick has my back when a 10 dollar "clinical strength" for women crumples like wet paper.

[skoople]

i have heard the fucking goddamn volume busting Old Spice Swagger spotify ad so many times that im literally changing my deodorant from old spice to native or speedstick or something

[absolutehush]

The thing about scents is that they all go VERY sweet on me. Like i use the same deodorant as my dad (speedstick) and it smells fucking gourmand cookies-and-cakes on me.

[niconiconwo]

Unrelated to that, why the fuck is speedstick almost four fucking dollars now?

I am unironically considering never buying deodorant again because I am not spending four bucks on that. Entirely unbelievable. It should be a dollar even for the next century, it's just a scented brick, fuck you.

[generalfestivalgalaxy]

Zozoola Rox - Speedstick [Breaks]