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mysunshinetemptress · 2 months

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Coal

Leah Williamson x singer!reader

Warnings: TW suicide, past abuse, child abuse, alcohol abuse, funeral. If I missed anything let me know. Also thank you to @pers1st for first of all listening to my idea and telling me to write it when I had my doubts about it and secondly for reading over it and helping me, I hope it doesn’t disappoint

You knew the minute he didn’t answer the phone and the unnerving feeling of dread filled your chest that this was it, that you were the last man standing from a life you thought you had both out run, out lived but this, what your brother had just done showed that no matter where you went, how fast you ran you couldn’t leave the sick and twisted past you both had lived through it was a heavy bag you would be forced to carry for the rest of your life.

You and your brother Luca had been born twins in a quite little, middle of nowhere town in New England to a mother who would end up leaving you both in the middle of the night with a heavily abusive father, who would never be charged for the unthinkable things he had inflicted on both you and your brother as he was to high in the police force in your stupid little town, best friends with the Chief had some perks it seemed.

You and your brother had grown up constantly relying on one another to get through the hard terrifying nights, where all you both could wish for was for someone to whisk you both away from it all but this is the real world and the only people who could save you from the nightmare was yourselves.

You had a talent that you had only discovered when you where 13 after a teacher had approached you hearing you singing in the hall, before asking if you wanted to join the choir, you began thinking an extra hour away from home wouldn’t be so bad agreeing only on the lines that Luca could come and sit in the pews as you practiced not wanting to leave him alone to face your fathers abuse alone.

As you both got older you found ways to escape through singing and music, Luca taught himself the piano and you learned guitar before teaching the instruments to each other before you both began recording videos of yourselves and posting them to YouTube while also beginning to write your own songs.

It would take till just after your 19th birthday for both you and Luca to make it out of that stupid little town in New England, both of you deciding to get as far away as possible flying to London England just as your first ever song written by you and produced by Luca blew up “Homesick.” Loving the way stories could so easily be told through country music you decide that it would be the genre you both would focus on, you writing and performing and Luca writing and producing stating he was much to bad of a singer to ever try.

Living in London was a cultural shock for you both coming from a quite town to a big bustling city sure was a change but you couldn’t help but enjoy the fact that not everyone here knew everyone and that you both got to start fresh.

Your label had rented a small two bed apartment for you both in Islington, just north of Central London where you both set up a small studio from the equipment supplied to you both and began working on an EP.

The EP was called Horizons both you and Luca had looked out on a same horizon every morning your entire childhood and hoped it would bring about change, only when you left to London did your Horizons change and so did your life finding it fitting you brought it to your label along with six songs on the EP one of which had already been released as a single.

Horizon

Track 1: Homesick

Track 2: Northern Attitude

Track 3: False Confidence

Track 4: Heavy Eyes

Track 5: Heading South

Track 6: Something in the Orange

Your label loved it approving a date that saw you and Luca able to preform at Country to Country in the O2, with your small set and unknown names your both were one of the first to perform, but feeling the rush of the crowd just after leaving the stage singing songs you both had written about parts of your childhood and leaving it behind felt magical and the crowd seemed to love it.

But that night wasn’t just the night you had both agreed that this is what you wanted to do, it was also the night you swore you found a four leaf clover. Leah had been standing in the crowd with Lydia Williams both big country music fans when she felt her breath hitch in her throat at the sight of you. You stood on stage in a simple pair of black jeans, white top with some red writing she couldn’t make out and a guitar smiling at the boy at the piano before nodding to the band and when you began singing Leah swore she had felt her heart stop from how quick it was beating.

You and Luca had made your way down to the crowd Luca nudging you saying he was going to get a drink as you nodded making your way to stand at the back keeping an eye on him as a blonde girl strutted over to you ever so confidently “Hi.” You turned taking your eyes off of Luca as you turned meeting deep blue eyes “Hi.” You smiled back “I’m Leah.” You grasped her hand shaking it your cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling at the blonde-Leah “hi I’m Y/n.” You didn’t notice that Leah seemed to forget to let go of your hand as you both began talking the English girl complementing your set as you complemented her outfit.

Luca turned back from the bar after downing yet another shot and beer looking to see where you had gone chuckling at the sight of you talking happily to a girl still holding her hand, sighing he grabbed three more beers and began walking over to you before clearing his throat and putting on a stern face “Y/n.” You unhappily tore your eyes away from Leah turning to see Luca “Luca this is Leah, Leah this is my twin brother Luca.” Leah’s shoulders seemed to relax at the confirmation he was in fact your brother and not your boyfriend “Beer.” You smiled thanking him before letting go of Leah’s hand and taking it before turning to look at him in surprise as he handed one to Leah “what can’t let your future girlfriend be left out of it can I.” You shoved him slightly as Leah choked on the beer coughing slightly as you apologised rubbing her back. Leah stood up shaking her head “well I better ask you out first then.” You laughed nodding agreeing to give her your phone number before saying goodnight and walking back behind the stage.

In the coming months yourself and Luca travelled promoting your EP both in the Uk and Europe as well as in the States refusing to step foot in New England just incase your father decided to show up, during this small tour you and Leah began talking nonstop either texting or FaceTiming and although Luca wanted to throw a pen at your head and tell you that there was an album that had to be written he couldn’t help but smile at the way your eyes lit up and your entire mood changed when the English girls name appeared on your phone.

Once the small tour was over and you had settled back into London, Leah had worked up enough nerve to officially ask you on a date. You had bid Luca goodnight telling him to not wait up as you ventured into Central London with the blue eyed girl excitement building for your date.

London was everything you ever wanted, you and Leah had been dating for a few months now and not wanting to keep secrets you had sat her down and told her everything, everything about how your mother had decided she couldn’t take it anymore and left both you and Luca stood crying on the porch step as you watched her run down the driveway aged four in the middle of the night, how your fathers abuse only got worse from that point, how as you got older you both felt so hopeless as no one would do anything as he was a police officer and best friend to the Chief of police, how he thought he could change you from being gay when he saw you walking holding another girls hand. Leah had sat eyes pooled with tears grasping your hand so tightly as you told her eyes racking your body and zoning in on every little scare she could see before pulling you into a hug “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Angel you don’t…you didn’t deserve any of that.” You didn’t cry but simply went limp against her as you felt the weight be lifted off your shoulders now that she knew, Luca had come in a short while later and Leah had moved you off her gently before grabbing him and pulling him into a hug, you watched eyes soft as your heart swelled they way she held him just as tight apologising for his trauma too, trauma she had never inflicted but felt so sick that no one in your town would help you both to scared of the consequences.

You had called Leah your four leafed clover, she was the luckiest thing you had ever found and while your relationship grew and your introduction to both her family and teammates saw that Luca turned to alcohol more than he ever had before.

You were both working on your first album when you had noticed how bad Lucas dependency on alcohol had gotten, writing songs often turned into nights you had to put him to bed he was to drunk to continue, or he wouldn’t show for meetings with the label, or dinner with you and Leah, or Leah’s family to busy sitting in a bar in London. You had called the label after a particularly bad day at one of Leah’s games at the Emirates, where your brother spent the entire match inside at the bar since he couldn’t drink alcohol in view of the pitch, drunk and moody you bid the Williamson’s goodbye apologising for your brother and sending Leah a quick text before dragging him home. The next morning you decided enough was enough and sat him down surprised when he broke down in your arms apologising over and over again that it was the only way he could find peace from it all even for just a few hours, that music simply wasn’t enough at the moment and in a way you understood, Leah gave you the same peace alcohol gave Luca but you knew it wasn’t a healthy option so you gave him an ultimatum, rehab and therapy or no more music, no more writing no more tours nothing. Agreeing to your ultimatum you rang your label telling them that the Album was on hold till Luca was healthy again before dropping him off.

You spent the month Luca was in rehab leaning on Leah and her family’s support, you had told them about yours and Lucas past the same day you dropped him off, and for the first time you knew what it was like to be loved by a mother and father. You cried into Leah’s chest that night until you fell asleep,nothing she said or did could make you stop and she quickly realised you needed this you needed to cry so she let you holding you tight and just reminding you of where you were, with her, with her family both you and Luca were safe. Amanda came up after you had fallen asleep to check on you her own heart breaking at the sight of you, you a girl who had the worst childhood imaginable handed to her and still found away to find love and make her daughter feel so loved, you a girl who was trying desperately to hold everything together for her brother because “he needs me, I’m fine I’ve got Leah but he, Luca needs me to be strong so strong is what I am.” Amanda placed her hand on your head “she’ll be ok Bubs, they both will, we got them.”

Luca had been allowed a visit half way through his rehab, the Williamson’s had all asked if they could come but his sponsor Danny had said it may be to overwhelming and asked for it to just be you, that didn’t stop them from waiting in the car park as you went in to visit him. He was different, brighter, happier and you almost cried at the sight for the first time ever he looked to be enjoying life not just trying to get by. You had ran straight for him sighing as you picked you up into a bear hug squeezing tight “Orlov.” You sighed relaxing into his arms at the use of your nickname.

Orlov a diamond, a cursed diamond and any time you tried to ask him why he had chosen it for you all those years ago he gave you one of two reason “Orlov, a cursed diamond that still shines through it all.” Or “Orlov, because pressure makes diamonds, and I just like the name of that one.” You laughed at the second slightly poetic but still funny just like him.

You had told him how supportive the Williamson��s had been for the both of you, how they were currently sat in the parking lot waiting for an update on him when he grabbed your hand “I’m glad you found people like them, to look after you.” You squeezed his hand “us, look after us they love you just as much.” Lucas didn’t want to believe you but you knew he did deep down, he knew it wasn’t just you that loved him anymore. You proceeded to tell him about you current life as a wag as well about the many songs you had been writing, some of them about your past, but for the first time ever you had also written about love and being in love with Leah. Lucas had told you he had also returned to writing and had a few stacked up ready to go when he was finished and for the first time he seemed happy about what he had written normally you had to tell him it was good, recording worthy and you couldn’t help the hope that bubbled.

15 days later Lucas got out of rehab with his therapy sessions block booked for the next while and for the first time in two months you guys began writing songs together trying to complete the album. Lucas was a changed man, he went to dinner without alcohol something you also did to support him, he attended Leah’s matches with you and actually watched and cheered instead of hiding in the bar and for the first time he seemed to be living.

Leah and her family had supported you both tirelessly and you couldn’t have asked for more, they were the family you had always wished would come and save you both as kids. Leah was around for nearly all of the album creation, Lucas teaching her piano and when he finally deemed her good enough you both agreed she could record it for the album.

Life was good, you both were happy in London writing and hanging out with friends and your found family so why had you woken up in the middle of the night with a feeling of doom looming over you as you untangled from Leah. You had gone into Lucases room to check on him something you had done since you could walk, wanting to make sure his chest would still rise and fall when your father had given you both a particularly hard beating. Only this time his bed was empty, walking into the hall you noticed all the lights were off so where could he be. You decided not to panic and not to wake Leah either instead getting your phone to call him.

As you recounted every move you both had made over the past three months it was obvious, Lucas had been getting all his ducks in a row, checking in on everyone and making sure the album was complete before leaving, but now it was done and set to be released next month he felt it was time.

You felt numb as you sat at the bottom of the stairs, you didn’t know how you knew he was gone, but you had all of a sudden just had the feeling of a missing piece, maybe it was your twin telepathy you both had so wished to have growing up, this was a sick joke if it kicked in now, now when he was gone.

You sat at the bottom of the stairs until you felt Leah’s hand touch your shoulder “Orlov.” Your heart clenched at the nickname, Lucas had given Leah special permission to use it, certain that she wasn’t going anywhere that you had her forever the engagement ring hidden in his dresser, not that you knew, certain that she knew about what you had been through, that she understood the meaning behind your nickname.

You didn’t have time to react as a knock came from your front door, looking at Leah smiling sadly you got up from the stairs and opened the door to two police men “Miss Y/n Y/ln.” You nodded, you didn’t feel Leah come up behind you as you listen to the police officers tell you about your brother, that you needed to identify him before they moved forward. You nodded along to it all before you asked “was he…do you think he was in any pain.” The officer looked at you softly “Hypothermia kicked in before he drowned, he simply closed his eyes and was gone, no pain, no struggle.” You nodded “no pressure.” You mumbled before turning to get dressed.

Leah couldn’t believe it, he was gone, Lucas was gone a boy she loved like a brother and she couldn’t understand why, he was happy, you both were happy with them, writing the album why, why had he done it. She had gone with you to the morgue and had said she would call her mum but every time she tried her fingers froze on the call button and words got caught in her throat. It was you who had done it driving you both to the Williamson’s house Leah unable to look at her family as you asked them all to come to the living room Leah sat beside you head buried into your neck as she grasped you tightly scared that if she let you go you would be gone too.

Amanda had let out a sob as you finished, Jacob got up and left the room and David just stared at you in shock as you held Leah impossibly closer watching this family, your family, Lucases family fall apart at the news, helpless you did what you had done since childhood and decided now was the time for you to stay strong, you could cry later and so you helped with dinner, helped tell the rest of the family, cousins, aunts and uncles and Leah’s grandparents who had adopted you both. The Arsenal girls had been informed all of whom made their way to your house along with the Williamson’s with flowers and food enough to stock the fridge for the next two months offering support and tears for you and your brother

In the coming weeks the Williamson’s helped you plan the funeral, you didn’t know how one went let alone one in England and you often found yourself and David talking to the undertakers for hours organising it. Until finally the day came, everyone had stayed in your house the night before and Amanda had started a big fry before you all headed to the church but you couldn’t eat, you were saying good bye to your brother, your other half, you were about to walk this stupid life alone and for the first time you cursed at him, you both had made it this far why, why did he decide he couldn’t take it anymore.

Leah had held your hand the entire way both of you following the coffin, with Amanda as Jacob, and David along with Leah’s cousins and Danny his sponsor carried him into the church. You got up and said a few words, talking briefly about your childhood before thanking the Williamson’s for everything they had done for you both, thanking Leah for being both you and Lucases rock when you felt like the world was to much. Heading to the crematorium you decided to swap out with one of Leah’s cousins wanting to carry your brother one last time, the sight made Leah sob as Amanda tried to hold her whispering into her ear, but nothing came of it you were saying goodbye to everything you ever knew and all she could do was hold your hand.

After it was all said and done and the after in the pub had finished you found yourself standing in the centre of his bedroom Leah lying asleep in yours. You looked at everything he had, all the pictures his rehab tokens, his guitar and piano, how were you supposed to do this without him, sing without him there beside you, live without him there beside you. You fell back onto his bed reaching your hand under his pillow when it made a crunch noise before finding a letter with your name on it “ORLOV”. You sighed knowing what it was you pulled it open.

Orlov,

I’m gone, I have left you on this earth alone and for that I am truly sorry, I’m sorry that I couldn’t fight any longer but I hope you understand how tired I am. Tired of living this lonely unforgiving life and I hope that someday you will understand, you have have been, my rock, my best friend and my twin sister through the hardest life no child should have to live, But you have come through it stronger, you have come through the it all a diamond in the rough. You see you are a diamond, formed under the pressure of our childhood but me, I am coal a dark rock not meant to last long on this earth.

I hope you know I have decided that now is the right time to say goodbye as I know you are going to be ok, you have the Williamson’s, the Arsenal and most importantly Leah. She is it for you, she is the only person you will ever need, she is your alcohol (bad comparison I know, she’s a lot healthier.) you are ready, ready to take on this life and conquer the world, but remember it’s ok to slip as long as you don’t fall.

One question you always asked me growing up was what did I think heaven looked like and I always told you I don’t know, but I do heaven is watching you fall in love with that girl sleeping in your room, watching you find a family who loves you the way you deserve that is heaven I love you always and forever.

I’ll be watching from stars Orlov .

Lucas TB

For the first time in weeks you cried, no you sobbed gut wrenching sobs and Leah found herself sprinting from your bed room catching you as you fell from the bed holding you tight whispering reassuring words into your ear crying along with you as you cried and cried, cried for your younger self, you cried for your current self but mostly your cried for him, for Lucas until you cried your self to sleep. Leah carried you back to bed before coming back into Lucases room and picking up his letter turning it over and finding a second one attached to it, opening it she found lyrics to a song and reading over it she felt her heart clench at the meanings behind them all.

The next morning Leah showed you the lyrics and before she even had time to ask if you wanted a coffee you were on the phone with your label canceling the album instead stating you had a different one.

Leah watched you tirelessly in the studio scared that if she left you alone in there you might never come back out, regretting her decision when you had dragged her in to record a piano piece.

A month later you handed your label a brand new album written mostly about you and Lucas with track six being for Leah, the label loved it and pushed for it to be released sooner than expected.

ORLOV

Track 1 Stick Season

Track 2 Bitter Winds

Track 3 Condemned

Track 4 Revival

Track 5 I Remember Everything (Lucas Y/LN, feat Y/n Y/LN)

Track 6 Sun to Me

Track 7 Dawns (Lucas Y/LN, feat Y/n Y/LN)

Track 8 Tourniquet (feat Leah Williamson.)

Track 9 Orange Juice

Track 10 Coal

With Leah's unwavering support, you found the strength to honor Lucases memory during the small tour you quickly been sent on leaving the grand piano seat empty until Leah came on to play her part in Tourniquet. You decided to end the small tour in London, your first headline show sold out at the roundhouse already playing five previous dates here due to the demand. Knowing this would be the last time of playing a small venue and with that a chapter closing and you having to enter one without Lucas you sighed retuning the guitar as you spoke to the crowd “My twin brother Lucas wrote this last song I’m about to play.” You cleared your throat looking out into the crowd before turning to the empty piano seat “We had a very hard childhood, but I knew as long as I had him, I’d be ok. Lucas left me on this earth alone just a couple months ago, but he knew something I didn’t, he knew I wasn’t really going to be alone, that I had a family that loved me, a girl who loved me even more and that really he wasn’t leaving he was just tired of his adventures on earth and wanted to see what the stars were like.” You sighed turning back to the crowd “this next song is called coal, and it talks about the pressures of life and I just want you all to know that when you feel like life is to full of pressure that when you can’t seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel that maybe look down you might find your four leaved clover, I got mine she’s in the crowd tonight, but there is always someone nobody here is alone.” You smiled catching Leah’s eyes “this is Coal.”

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55sturn · 4 months

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✮ BACK TO YOU

pairings: chris sturniolo x fem!oc, reader x unnamed male!oc, chris sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: in which no matter where they are in life, chris and y/n find their way back to one another, despite knowing that it never really works, until day he gives in and stops fighting what he knows is meant to be.

warnings: swearing, angst (a whole lot of it), verbal arguments, chris and y/n are toxic, implications of chris cheating, fluff if you squint, suggestive implications.

THIRD PERSON POV

in every culture and every religion, there is some sort of evidence of soulmates existing. the person your soul is forever tied to, setting you up for heartbreak along the journey looking for that one person. love is at the root of the structure of every belief system. the person that has been so perfectly tailored to your heart and soul, meant to love you in the ways you spend your life searching for.

look up: invisible string by taylor swift, for a beautiful depiction of a soulmate inspired love song.

the only issue with having a soulmate, is that nine out of ten times, you don't know who your soulmate is. which often leads to you spend hours upon hours and years upon years searching for them, inevitably experiencing various stages and forms of heartbreak in hopes that once you do find your soulmate, your forever person, they are able to heal and fix you.

but in chris and y/n's love story, them healing each other wasn't always the case. they were the fairytale from hell, they were a wrongful depiction of soulmates, two souls tethered together by an invisible red string that who, instead of loving each other, had a tendency to tears each other's hearts into millions of pieces each time they tried to love one another.

they were two souls so delicately similar that it caused them nothing but pain and frustration. they loved one another in the wrong ways, but they were determined to make it work, albeit at the wrong times.

PRESENT TIME

chris sighed as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, with a quick roll of his eyes, he fished the thin device out of his pocket, knowing full well who was texting him as he made his rounds through the crowd of friends and acquaintances at the party he attended.

groaning, her named flashed again in his notifications, he hovered his thumb over the text before pressing down, begrudgingly opening the conversation he had wished hadn't started, despite deep down wanting her to reach out to him.

IMESSAGE TEXTS BETWEEN CHRIS AND Y/N

Y/N: guess u forgot to tell me that u and ur new bitch of the week would be here🤣

CHRIS: don't start tonight y/n

Y/N: i'm just shocked is all, didn’t think she’d fuck with these ppl just by looking at her

CHRIS: "she" has a name, y/n

CHRIS: it’s gianna

Y/N: you act like i give a fuck

Y/N: it’s nice to see you tho

CHRIS: please y/n, aren’t you tired of this shit?

CHRIS: you and i don't work, we literally never fucking do

CHRIS: and i really like this girl

Y/N: if you genuinely mean that, why are you spending so much time explaining it to me? sounds like you’re just tryna convince yourself that you feel that way.

Y/N: but if it’s real, then i'm happy for you, it's just weird that you and i aren't here together.

chris rolled his eyes at her second to last text, the way she could see right through like he was made of glass, even through a text, was something he’d never be able to understand. or run away from. there was never any sense in him even trying to lie to her, she could read him like a book. and chris was her favourite book, she would read that book ten times over in one sitting if she could.

but chris willed up all the self control he had in his entire being to not seek out the girl he's loved since he was a tiny boy in middle school. he told himself that it was done for good. that's the thing with playground love, it doesn't always last for ever and ever and chris was finally starting to accept that.

he pocketed his phone and forced himself to look for gianna, his eyes briefly meeting y/n's as she spoke to some random influencer, the smile on her face not reaching her eyes as she focused on the boy in front of her. he soon spotted the girl he arrived with, her hand flirtatiously resting on vinnie's bicep as he spoke to her. with a less than enthusiastic scoff, he downed the rest of the drink in his cup and turned around, walking in the opposite direction toward the girl he called home.

once he was in earshot, he smirked to himself as she pawned her cup off onto the poor boy fighting for a chance with her in front of him. once she waved him off with a bittersweet smile, she turned back to chris. she tutted playfully as he rolled his eyes, her hand reaching up toward the back of his neck, pulling him flush against the front of her body.

"what happened to "i really like her"?" she chuckled, her arms wrapping around his neck as his hands fell to her waist, pulling her into a hug, his lips meeting her jaw as he sighed.

"vinnie got to her and she was all over him." he spoke against her skin as her nails gently scraped against his scalp, bringing him down from his emotional high as his shoulders slumped in her arms.

"wanna get out of here? go for a walk?"

"nah, m'tired and just wanna go to bed, you crashing at mine?"

"of course." she spoke, her hand slipping into his as they walked toward the door, nick and matt meeting them there soon after chris texted them, neither of them surprised to find chris leaving with y/n instead of his girlfriend.

"i'm so happy you're here y/n, chris is a different man when you're not around." nick snorted, climbing into the seat behind matt as y/n sat behind chris, his hand slipping between the two front seats as her fingers threaded through his again.

"i'm glad to be back for however long chris needs me to be." she whispered, her words cutting deep into chris' heart, knowing that she wouldn't be around permanently, their dynamic and ways of communicating only allowing them to be together for a short period of time. they’d spend most their days tangled in chris’ sheets, professing their undying love for one another, knowing very well their time would be ending once again, and that it’d end soon.

they found that while they loved each other so deeply, they showed it in all the wrong ways. instead of gentle and soft spoken words, their love for one another was reminded in the clashing of teeth and tongues during heavy make-outs, and wandering hands with their nails digging into the soft flesh they roamed.

their rekindled romance was once again called off when chris' girlfriend, gianna, had come back into his life a week later, apologizing for her behaviour and explaining that she had been a fan of vinnie's for a long time and the fan girl in her caused her to make questionable decisions.

with a meek smile and a backhanded comment about chris’ infidelity, y/n packed her bags and moved out of chris' room sadly bidding matt and nick a brief "see you later", which left them sighing as they were no stranger to watching y/n move in and out of the house a couple times every few months.

it wasn't long before chris had found himself missing the girl that knew him inside and out, that knew his heart like the back of her hand. a month after gianna came back, spewing excuses upon excuses, chris had broken up with her, claiming that his heart would forever belong to someone else and he couldn't bear to put her through the pain of not loving her the way she deserved to be.

chris knew that he should take this grace period and be alone instead of running back to the girl he always did, but he knew she was it for him, no matter what. he didn't understand why they couldn't love each other properly. he always looked at it in a way where they had too much love for one another and they just didn't know what to do with it.

he tossed and turned in his bed, his thoughts unrelenting and holding his ability to sleep hostage as his phone read 3:32 in the morning. groaning he unlocked his phone, his thumbs maneuvering their way to her conversation from muscle memory at this point before typing out a quick couple messages.

IMESSAGE TEXTS BETWEEN CHRIS AND Y/N

CHRIS: y/n come home

CHRIS: please

CHRIS: i cant sleep without you

CHRIS: i love you in a way that makes it hard to love anybody else

CHRIS: you are like a drug that i cant go without, you're deadass my soulmate bruh and i'm done denying that. you are the only person i want. the only that actually knows who i am, inside and out. the only person that can make me feel good the way you do. i want you. no more fighting it. we’re meant to be.

Y/N: i'll be there in 10.

every time y/n fell back into chris’ arms, it felt devastating and bittersweet. this time, it felt right. it felt like they had finally found solid ground and that the had found the way they were meant to be together. there was definitely some uncertainty about the longevity of their relationship overall, but they learned over time that they need to communicate. whether they stayed together or not for the final time, there was no doubt that they would always be intertwined in each other’s hearts.

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 3 months

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When are you guys going to realize that Ed's line in season 1 "I don't have any friends" was just him being a little dramatic and also devastated from the situation in that scene? Even excluding Jack and Izzy from the discussion (if we must), he clearly defines Anne and Mary as his friends!

Does he, though?

The thing is, it comes up twice. It's not just in s1e6 when Ed is so upset (though his meaning is perfectly clear, I don't just think it's him being dramatic - he doesn't think he has anyone he can actually trust with secrets like how he killed his dad). Jack also very explicitly does not consider Ed a friend (he's genuinely shocked and laughs at Ed for calling Stede his friend. "Pirates don't have friends, we're all just in various stages of fucking each other over!"). I don't think this is just a case of Ed being dramatic because it's reinforced for us over and over that piracy is not a culture where you get to have friends.

As for Anne and Mary...yeah, mate, honestly I don't think he'd consider them his friends, either. Don't get me wrong, he likes them! They have a history together and they enjoy each other's company. But it's along the same lines as Calico Jack, still. They are not confidantes for Ed. They are people he has a history with and whose company he enjoys, but their relationship isn't one of friendship - it's emotionally stunted, unavailable, more focused on getting a rise out of Ed than anything else. Like Jack, they have ulterior motives that completely ignore Ed's comfort and wants, instead trying to manipulate him and Stede for their own entertainment. They do not treat each other like friends and I think it's a hell of an assumption to say Ed would define them as his friends.

I don't think there's any reason to take Ed's statement that he doesn't have friends as him just being dramatic, and given that it's reinforced in s2e8, I can't imagine it was meant to be taken that way. Maybe in some other profession, Ed would have considered all the people he worked with his friends, but it's not the case in this one, and that's very much the point.

#ofmd #our flag means death

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winwintea · 2 months

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nct and pet names

pairing ▸ random!nct members x reader (yuta, ten, jaehyun, renjun, jaemin, chenle, riku, sakuya) author's note ▸ i was inspired by another post, but wanted to go for a more realistic feeling, especially towards the foreign idols. enjoy my brainrot. also there needs to be more wish content on here i beg

yuta - naishinno

this man would definitely call you ‘gorgeous’, ‘divine’, or ‘princess’. but he’d prefer and be more comfortable to say such words in his native tongue. he also found out how much you enjoyed hearing him speak japanese, so sometimes on purpose he’ll sneak up behind you and whisper, “naishinno…'' (meaning princess in japanese) startling you but also making your ears turn pink. yuta also has no problem with using the pet name within earshot of others, and as much as you protest, he assures you that no one really understands.

ten - mi mi

hear me out guys. hear me out. ten our beloved cat mom would definitely call you something relating to cats. he’s not calling you “kitten” because um that’s kinda cringe… but he would go for something cuter. “mao mi” is the chinese word for cat, (I KNOW HE'S THAI. BEAR WITH ME OKAY) and people usually refer to kittens as “mi mi” (it’s like the most basic name an owner can give to their cat too) most of the time, nicknames are usually duplicated characters, and mi mi is also a very common nickname for girls. it also means ‘tits’. so ten decided that was the best nickname in the world and he was an absolute genius for coming up with it, and so now you’re stuck with being called his “mi mi” for life. good luck.

jaehyun - cara mia/mi amor/ma cherie

jaehyun LOVES pet names. it’s a rare feat if he ever calls you by your first name. ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’, ‘honey’. he uses them all. but jaehyun is a classy bitch, and he likes to keep things fancy, so his favorites are using different languages, just because it somehow sounds more expensive and full of taste and that’s exactly what he feels you deserve. some of his favorites include: “cara mia” the italian words for ‘my beloved’; “mon amour” & “mi amor” the french and spanish words for ‘my love’; and finally, “ma cherie” the french words for ‘darling/sweetheart’. (stream mon amour by gemini guys)

renjun - qin ai de/qin qin/lao po

okay yes renjun is using chinese, but not straight away into the relationship. let’s get that cleared up out of the way. he’ll initially start with ‘my dearest’, and uses his sweet voice to his advantage. “qin ai de y/n, could you do something for me real quick? pretty please?” but eventually as the relationship progresses on and he feels more comfortable, he’ll start dropping the “lao po” (‘wife’ in chinese) on you, which initially comes as a culture shock, because you haven’t even thought of getting to that stage yet. renjun teaches you of how common it is in china for non-married couples to call each other husband and wife, and even teaches you how to say ‘lao gong’ (husband)

jaemin - pookie

once jaemin discovers this word it’s joeover for you. one day you accidentally call him, ‘pookie’ to his face (which is what you would often use when referring to him around others) and he is so intrigued by the word he demands an explanation as to what it means. and when he realizes it’s true purpose, it’s true meaning, he’ll be taking that word to the GRAVE. and this brat uses it EVERYWHERE. on text, in person, in front of your friends. he will never spare you the pain and embarrassment. but he just wants to let you know how much he loves you, truly. his pookie <3

chenle - bao bei

immediately into your relationship chenle throws around ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ like crazy. this man knows what he wants because he quickly found out that if he slurred his words while saying, “bao bei a~” you would fold immediately. not afraid of saying it in front of others because the only one who understands are the c-liners (but eventually everyone catches on) chenle also somehow makes it seem so casual and natural. ‘bao bei’ also directly translates to treasure, and he’ll occasionally add in a ‘xiao’ (little) at the beginning when praising you or giving you compliments.

riku/sakuya - pan-san

I was originally just going to do riku, but figured i’d just shove these two together, but mostly write about riku.

sakuya and riku both like bread, the only difference is that while both want to work at a bakery, sakuya cannot cook to save his life and riku can actually bake. these two actually share so much in common it's actually insane, for one being absolute shits in general. regardless, ‘pan’ means bread and ‘pan-san’ is actually so cute and it rolls off the tongue really well. (i was originally going to say ‘pan-pan’ but a quick google search said no.)

although riku enjoys teasing you, he still wants you to enjoy the pet name given to you. ‘bread’ is sweet, it is simple, and it is certainly delicious. literally the best nickname anyone could ever have and you should be grateful. but you don’t seem as pleased as he is. you have to process that your boyfriend is naming you after bread. not even like ‘cupcake’ or ‘sugar cookie’ or something else, just. bread. but after riku yaps about it for an hour, adding in compliments and phrases, you give in, and allow yourself to be called bread.

(do let me know if you want to see anything for the other members! i'll try my best 🙏🙏)

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storydays · 6 months

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Hi!! I was wondering if you could write this scenario with John dory and pop/rock troll reader?

I've had this one scenario playing in my head for days! Poppy and the other rulers, wanting a day of celebrating each other's music, made a contest where a troll/Bergen/(whatever Vaneer and velvet are?) can come and sings for a crowd and the rulers as the judges decided who win. Brozone (mostly John) decided to participate for fun. After brozones song, John and the others join the crowd to watch the next singer, which is the pop/rock troll. John knows her from his adventuring days, she’s the one who got away, aka his true love. (idk why we might've left, maybe they were separated somehow)

John is immediately dumbfounded - because she's right there! After all these years! His brothers, not knowing their past, immediately start making fun of him for liking her as she began to sing on stage. Immediately, even alone, she's seems to wow the crowd even more than any of the previous songs.

As soon as she's done, John rushes back behindstage to meet her, his brothers + Poppy and Viva, all rushing after him. Reader greets John so happily, all the others are kinda… shocked? Even more so if reader decides to kiss John in greeting.

OOH I abosolutely LOVE the cliche sceanrios!!!!!!! LET"S DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Dory X Fem! Pop Star! True Love! Reader

Small World

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John Dory was ecstatic!

For a Hatchday surprise, his siblings' signed BroZone up for Trollstopia's 3rd Annual Cultural Fair. Anyone and everyone could sign up to perform in the talent show, but everything else was a totally free for all: The games, the different events, even the food(honestly, John Dory had no idea how Pop Trolls survive strictly on sweets, there was such a thing as too much sweets.) BroZone and the two Queens laughed and enjoyed each other as they tried different foods...although, John wasn't amused at the Rock Trolls' tiny replica of volcanic dumplings...wayy too hot.

Unfortunately the band couldn't decide on a song as usual, so they each picked a song from the year 2012, and decided to do a medley.

youtube

The siblings' cheered and clapped themselves on their back as they walked off stage from the cheering crowd when John Dory heard her.

Not his sunshine.

Pausing from where he was walking, the teal haired Troll turned around sharply as he watched a Troll wearing a midnight blue sundress dance around on stage, he could even see a yellow sunflower tucked behind her left ear.

"Come on, baby, let me see your face." He pleaded softly, staring intensely, not noticing his siblings', and the magenta eyed Trolls then walked over to where John was still frozen watching the performer dance.

"Oooh, JD's got a crush on (Y/N)!" Poppy teased, the other Trolls snickering, as they then started to make teasing remarks.

"When's the wedding?" Clay cackled as the others' made varying kissy faces and lewd gestures.

"It can't be her....it's not possible." John muttered softly, making the others' stop and closely watch him. "John?" Branch asked softly, as the Troll on stage then turned in their dance routine, bangs blowing in the wind, and slowly made eye contact with John Dory.

Blue eyes met (e/c).

You tripped slightly during your performance but quickly shook your head and smiled brighter before continuing your routine with a flourish.

YOU were there alive! But...you looked so sad even while performing.

As soon as you were off to the other side of the stage, you rushed to look for him as he for you, as he ignored his family's protest.

You rounded the corner, and stopped seeing him down the hall, and panted heavily as you both caught your breath.

After a moment of quite breathing, and wide eyed stares, you both observed the other. John looked so tired, and was sporting a new look, his hair shorter and he was wearing that brown coat you'd got him for a Christmas present one year, and there were more stress lines then last time you saw him.

John eyed the heavy bags under your eyes, and saw the sad gleam in your eyes. You didn't have that last time. You still wore the flower behind your left ear...that was one of the Valentine's present he gave you one year...it was a crystallized sunflower that you could wear forever without fear of it dying.

The world faded to the two of you as you took in the other's presence.

"Hey, sunshine."

Sobbing to yourself, you rushed into his waiting arms, kissing him as if you'd never kissed before, holding him as if he might fade away again.

"I've got you, and I'm never letting go again." He murmured softly, holding you tightly, rubbing soothing circles on your back, as he sobbed/laughed a

You both sat on the floor, holding each other tight and whispering sweet promises to each other.

John's family stood speechless, with a varitey of emotions on their faces, and they went to ask what the hell was going on, when Floyd stopped them, wiping a tear away. "Wait, guys..Clearly, they've been waiting for a long time. Let's give them a moment."

It really was a small world.

P2 or headcanons or both next? Hope I did you justice!

@vacayisland

#brozone x reader #dreamworks trolls #trolls band together #branch #clay trolls #trolls 3 #broppy #bruce trolls #floyd trolls #john dory trolls #john dory x reader #brozone #storydays

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familyabolisher · 1 year

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At the outset of H. G. Wells's The War of the Worlds (1898), Wells asks his English readers to compare the Martian invasion of Earth with the Europeans' genocidal invasion of the Tasmanians, thus demanding that the colonizers imagine themselves as the colonized, or the about-to-be-colonized. But in Wells this reversal of perspective entails something more, because the analogy rests on the logic prevalent in contemporary anthropology that the indigenous, primitive other's present is the colonizer's own past. Wells's Martians invading England are like Europeans in Tasmania not just because they are arrogant colonialists invading a technologically inferior civilization, but also because, with their hypertrophied brains and prosthetic machines, they are a version of the human race's own future.

The confrontation of humans and Martians is thus a kind of anachronism, an incongruous co-habitation of the same moment by people and artifacts from different times. But this anachronism is the mark of anthropological difference, that is, the way late-nineteenth-century anthropology conceptualized the play of identity and difference between the scientific observer and the anthropological subject-both human, but inhabiting different moments in the history of civilization. As George Stocking puts it in his intellectual history of Victorian anthropology, Victorian anthropologists, while expressing shock at the devastating effects of European contact on the Tasmanians, were able to adopt an apologetic tone about it because they understood the Tasmanians as "living representatives of the early Stone Age," and thus their "extinction was simply a matter of … placing the Tasmanians back into the dead prehistoric world where they belonged" (282-83). The trope of the savage as a remnant of the past unites such authoritative and influential works as Lewis Henry Morgan's Ancient Society (1877), where the kinship structures of contemporaneous American Indians and Polynesian islanders are read as evidence of "our" past, with Sigmund Freud's Totem and Taboo (1913), where the sexual practices of "primitive" societies are interpreted as developmental stages leading to the mature sexuality of the West. Johannes Fabian has argued that the repression or denial of the real contemporaneity of so-called savage cultures with that of Western explorers, colonizers, and settlers is one of the pervasive, foundational assumptions of modern anthropology in general. The way colonialism made space into time gave the globe a geography not just of climates and cultures but of stages of human development that could confront and evaluate one another.

The anachronistic structure of anthropological difference is one of the key features that links emergent science fiction to colonialism. The crucial point is the way it sets into motion a vacillation between fantastic desires and critical estrangement that corresponds to the double-edged effects of the exotic. Robert Stafford, in an excellent essay on "Scientific Exploration and Empire" in the Oxford History of the British Empire, writes that, by the last decades of the century, "absorption in overseas wilderness represented a form of time travel" for the British explorer and, more to the point, for the reading public who seized upon the primitive, abundant, unzoned spaces described in the narratives of exploration as a veritable "fiefdom, calling new worlds into being to redress the balance of the old" (313, 315). Thus when Verne, Wells, and others wrote of voyages underground, under the sea, and into the heavens for the readers of the age of imperialism, the otherworldliness of the colonies provided a new kind of legibility and significance to an ancient plot. Colonial commerce and imperial politics often turned the marvelous voyage into a fantasy of appropriation alluding to real objects and real effects that pervaded and transformed life in the homelands. At the same time, the strange destinations of such voyages now also referred to a centuries-old project of cognitive appropriation, a reading of the exotic other that made possible, and perhaps even necessary, a rereading of oneself.

John Rieder, Colonialism and the Emergence of Science Fiction

#currently reading

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jollyfoxavenue · 4 months

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In a vast galaxy, the species living across various star systems were captivated by the arrival of a new species of omnivorous predatory apes known as humans. Hailing from a Class IV deathworld, these creatures quickly garnered a reputation for their remarkable ability to survive in environments that would easily kill other species. However, despite their resilience, humans were still in the tribal stages of their culture, dividing their world into different countries and believing in higher beings called Gods.

Among the intrigued species were the Starlings, who shared a similar form to humans, albeit with their blue skin, glowing hair, and advanced technological capabilities. They found it perplexing that humans would connect with a species so different from their own, but they were unsure how to navigate this newfound admiration.

The Starlings' bewilderment soon turned to desperation when the Wedfrghg Empire declared war on their home planet, leaving them on the brink of destruction. The Union of Interplanetary Republics, a once-believed ally, abandoned them in their darkest hour. Yet, amidst the chaos, one species stood by their side – the humans.

Humans, it seemed, would fight to the death for those they loved, an unrivaled ferocity that included even the Starlings. But what truly set humans apart was their unyielding insanity. No sane species would employ pizza delivery as a means of infiltrating an enemy fortress they intended to obliterate. Nor would they tame predators as pets, only to unleash them upon their adversaries. And surely, kidnapping an entire planet's sun was an act of madness beyond comprehension.

Within a month, by Earth's standards, the Wedfrghg Empire surrendered, retreating in utter shock. The Starlings were left in awe of their human allies, just as bewildered as the defeated empire and the Union of Interplanetary Republics.

As the dust settled, a dignified meeting was called on the Starlings' home planet. The humans, now revered as saviors, were invited to join the interplanetary council. At the center of the gathering sat the Starling High Council, their features blending the humanoid form as the humans called it, with their distinctive blue skin and radiant hair.

The Starlings, still struggling to comprehend the unfathomable acts of the humans, addressed them with a mix of curiosity and respect. "We owe you our planet, our lives. But why? What drove you to such madness, to combat the Wedfrghg Empire with such audacity?"

A human representative, his eyes ablaze with determination, rose to his feet. "We are a species born out of chaos and struggle," he began, his voice resonating through the grand hall. "On our deathworld, survival was never guaranteed. We fought against nature, against each other, until we became a species defined by tenacity and innovation."

He continued, his words captivating the room. "For us, courage isn't just found in the ability to face danger but in the audacity to defy the impossible. We may be divided by countries and beliefs, but when faced with threats to those we hold dear, we unite with an unwavering resolve. We may seem insane to others, but it is this insanity that drives us to achieve the extraordinary."

The Starlings listened intently, captivated by the human's explanation. As they absorbed the wisdom in his words, they began to understand the unique essence of humanity.

From that day forward, the alliance between humans and Starlings grew stronger, becoming a beacon of hope and unity throughout the galaxy. The humans shared their knowledge and technology, while the Starlings provided guidance and wisdom, their advanced understanding of science and diplomacy complementing the human spirit.

The rest of the of the universe might feel fear when speaking about humans or Earth, but the Starlings? They felt pretty good about their allies and close trade partners.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs

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magnetothemagnificent · 2 years

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I feel like cis people would be able to understand trans people more if they, and all of us, understood that "baby", "girl", "boy", "woman", "man", "mother", "father", "wife", "husband", etc are all different genders.

A child has wildly different experiences and roles than an adult. A parent has wildly different experiences and roles than a non-parent.

A child is gendered differently than an adult, and vice versa.

People will struggle so hard to understand how a person can transition into a man or a woman if they grew up as a girl or a boy, respectively, but....

Gender isn't static, even for cis people.

A cisgendered girl also transitions into the gender of a woman. A cisgendered boy also transitions into the gender of a man. A non-parent transitions into the gender of a parent.

Yes, for transgender people, the transition is often more complex and "shocking", but everyone transitions into different genders throughout the course of their life.

And people have always understood this. In many cultures around the world, male and female children would be dressed and addressed in roughly the same way, without much binary differentiation, until they reached a certain "coming-of-age" point, where they would reach a new gender.

Just yesterday I was at a Chalaka/Upshernish ceremony for a little boy in a family I know. This ceremony is practiced in some Jewish communities, where a boy's hair isn't cut until his third birthday, when his hair his cut and his peyot are left intact, signifying his next step in his life's journey, and the begining of his education. You'll find in these communities that little toddler boys and girls look very similar until they're three, and often they're mixed up by outsiders because they associate long hair with girls. In many ways, this ceremony is a ceremony wherein a Jewish boy transitions from the gender of a "baby", to the gender of a "boy".

Coming-of-age ceremonies exist in pretty much every culture, and mark important transitions and new gender assignments.

The transition from infanthood to childhood, the transition from childhood to adulthood, the transition from singlehood to marriage, etc etc. These are all different genders.

If you can understand that a girl is different from a woman, and that to become a woman you must transition from one stage to another, then you can understand that one can transition from one "opposite" gender to another.

#trans #anthropology #gender #culture #coming of age #transition #everyone transitions at some point

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naomeii · 6 months

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"You were.. Everything"

—Pairings: Thoma x F!Reader x Ayato

Content : Angst, arranged marriage

Synopsis : Fate takes a turn when Thoma attempts to meet Ayato's bride and discovers Y/n, unraveling a past love.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over Mondstadt as Y/n, the eldest daughter of a noble family, and Thoma, the son of a servant in the same household, played in their secret hideout—a serene glade nestled between ancient trees.

From their early years, Y/n and Thoma shared a unique bond that transcended the boundaries of social status. Their friendship blossomed amidst laughter and playful banter. On one particular day, with the golden hues of the sunset surrounding them, Y/n teasingly poked her tongue out, saying, "Ah, Thoma, you're sooo slow!"

Thoma, always good-natured, huffed in response and retaliated by throwing a bundle of leaves at her. Laughter echoed through the air as they chased each other around, completely oblivious to the twists of destiny that lay ahead.

As fate would have it, Thoma's family had to relocate to Inazuma, and tearful goodbyes were exchanged between the two childhood friends. The day before Thoma's departure, Y/n and Thoma decided to meet at their favorite spot for the last time.

"I promise when we meet again, I'll marry you, Y/n!" Thoma vowed, attempting to mask the tears that threatened to escape. Y/n, trying to lighten the mood, teased, "Then you better keep that promise, or I won't forgive you. Also, you look ugly when you cry, you know?"

"Shut up, Y/n…" Thoma replied, his cheeks flushed. A comfortable silence enveloped them as they stared at the night sky. Unable to resist the impulse, Thoma cupped Y/n's cheeks and kissed her. Surprisingly, Y/n kissed him back, marking the beginning of a deeper connection between them.

Years passed, and life took Y/n and Thoma in different directions. Y/n found herself entangled in the intricacies of nobility, while Thoma ventured into the unknowns of Inazuma. The promise they made as children remained tucked away in the corners of their hearts, but the passage of time led them to lose contact.

Unbeknownst to Thoma, Y/n's life took an unexpected turn. She found herself arranged in a marriage with Ayato Kamisato, the esteemed head of the Yashiro Commission in Inazuma. Y/n, however, voiced her reluctance to her mother, expressing concerns about meeting Ayato's expectations as his wife.

On the other side of the story, Thoma, unaware of Y/n's identity, learned about Ayato's impending arranged marriage. Curiosity getting the better of him, he approached Ayato, inquiring about the source of his newfound happiness.

"Say, Ayato, you've been unusually happy lately. What's the secret?" Thoma asked, genuinely curious. Ayato, smitten by Y/n's beauty, grace, and intelligence, described her without mentioning her name. Assuming it to be just another noble family, Thoma didn't think much of it.

As the wedding preparations began with traditional ceremonies in Inazuma, Y/n seized the opportunity to experience the local culture before settling there permanently. Unbeknownst to Thoma, Y/n arrived in Inazuma, setting the stage for their paths to cross once again.

Driven by curiosity, Thoma attempted to catch a glimpse of the mysterious bride who had captured Ayato's heart. However, fate had a different plan, and he could never see her face or hear her name. Meanwhile, Ayato's affection for Y/n deepened each day.

"I just can't believe it, Thoma. It feels more like a privilege than a responsibility," Ayato confessed, love-struck by his soon-to-be bride.

A few days before the wedding, Thoma, still curious, decided to meet the mysterious bride and offer his well-wishes. Entering Y/n's chamber, he caught sight of her back, and a rush of memories flooded his mind. When she turned around, shock and recognition mirrored on both their faces.

"Y/n…"

The air thickened with tension as Thoma struggled to process the revelation. Ayato, introducing Thoma to Y/n, remained oblivious to their shared history. Overwhelmed, Thoma excused himself, leaving Ayato puzzled. That night, the weight of reality pressed heavily on Thoma's shoulders.

A knock on his door broke the silence. Opening it, Thoma was met with Y/n's tear-streaked face. Without a word, she embraced him, seeking comfort in the familiarity of their shared history. Thoma, aware of the consequences, pulled her into his chamber, and the door closed behind them.

As Y/n sobbed, she confessed her unwillingness to go through with the marriage, revealing the familial pressures that bound her. Thoma, too, admitted his enduring love for her, spoken through the silence of their embrace.

This clandestine meeting became a nightly ritual. Y/n, driven by a yearning for Thoma's company, would sneak into his room. The two would reminisce about their past, catch up on lost time, and fall asleep together, each stolen night adding another layer to the complexity of their entwined fates.

On the night before the wedding, Y/n's despair reached its peak. Tearfully, she implored Thoma to elope, but he, burdened by loyalty, refused. With a lie heavy on his tongue, Thoma uttered words that would haunt him.

"Y/n, I've changed. The feelings I once had are gone now. All these days were just a way for me to find closure from the past. I moved on from you a long time ago. It was just a fleeting pity from my side."

The words shattered Y/n's heart, and Thoma bit his tongue, tasting the bitter irony of his lie. As she left the room, broken and defeated, Thoma felt his heart crumble into a million pieces.

The day of the wedding arrived, and the ethereal beauty of Y/n captivated everyone present. Yet, in the place where Thoma should have stood, Ayato took his place, oblivious to the history that bound Y/n and Thoma.

As the ceremonial vows echoed through the air, Y/n never once looked at Thoma, her gaze unwaveringly fixed on Ayato. Fate, cruel and unyielding, dictated the course of their lives, and Thoma was left to confront the consequences of his choices.

In the silence that followed, regret hung heavy in Thoma's heart as the union was sealed, and he couldn't escape the haunting melody of their shared memories. The years that followed were marked by a formal exchange of words between Y/n and Thoma. Her voice, once filled with warmth, now carried a distant and emotionless tone. Thoma observed, with a pang in his heart, as Y/n slowly fell for Ayato. The pain of what might have been intensified, and he wondered if eloping would have led to happiness.

A few years later, the Kamisato couple announced the conception of their heir. Thoma, haunted by the choices he made, lay in bed reminiscing. A knock on his door disrupted his thoughts. Opening it, he was met with Y/n's presence, a small smile playing on her lips.

Seeing Thoma's shocked expression, she chuckled,

"Don't worry, Ayato went out with [kid's name]. I'm just here for… closure." Thoma nodded awkwardly, and a sense of nostalgia filled the room as they laughed about their past. Y/n expressed how silly it all seemed now.

Little did she know, Thoma wished he could tell her it wasn't silly—it was real. If only he hadn't let her go that night. As Y/n got up to leave, she spoke in a hushed tone,

"You were… a wonderful experience."

"And you were everything," Thoma wanted to say, but the words remained unspoken.

After all fate is a cruel mistress, as it played its hand again, and Thoma let go of Y/n for the third time. As she walked away, the echoes of what could have been lingered in the room, and Thoma grappled with the weight of missed chances and untold truths.

#genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin x reader angst #thoma angst #thoma x reader angst #thoma x you #thoma x reader #thoma x y/n #genshin impact #genshin imagines #reader insert #genshin impact angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin oneshots #kamisato ayato #ayato #genshin ayato #ayato x reader

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aemxnd · 4 months

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sliding doors | aemond targaryen x dornish!reader (modern au) part i

Today is your first day in the London grind — how bad can it be?

WARNINGS: sexual assault, tension, angst, mentions of our lord and saviour Oberyn Martell (I know, that’d upset me too), mentions of death, sleazy men, sassy men.

WORDS: 2.1k

A/N: Anybody looking for a slow-burning love story with mystery and intrigue? I gotchu. Part I of maaaany.

Moving to London was a necessary evil.

You couldn’t spend your entire life slaving away at a minimum wage job in rural Dorne forever, or maybe that was your family’s indoctrination talking. Move to London and seek out fame, fortune or both, they had prescribed.

You weren’t truly ready for life in the big city, but being headhunted by a prestigious company days earlier had forced your hand. Several frantic late-night social media searches suggested women your age would kill to work there, although you’d have to admit you hadn’t heard of them until their name slipped into your inbox. No interview required, simply start on Monday.

Their generous salary offer sealed the deal above all else.

Your friends foretold that the worst aspect of London life would be the commute. Stifling, deafening rush hour Tubes and the unpredictable weather above ground would be a culture shock for a country girl, but you felt somewhat compelled to prove them wrong. Dornish women weren’t short of confidence, strength and stubbornness, and you weren’t about to disobey the order of things for the sake of a move to the city.

You promised yourself you would give it a try. Two weeks should do it. If you weren’t convinced by the end of the fortnight, you’d simply pack up and leave on the next train home.

“The next station is Highgarden,” the familiar metallic voice boomed throughout the train, startling you from your daze. Your eyes widened, forcing yourself to focus on your surroundings and contemplate the next stage of your journey into the unknown. Affirmations you’d scrolled through on TikTok the night before ticked through your mind. I am good enough because they hired me, you assured yourself, or at the very least the voice in your mind.

Instinctively gazing down at your handbag resting on the floor between your feet, you swallowed hard and gazed at your black stiletto heels as if willing them to move autonomously.

Up until this moment, the London experience hadn’t phased you. But now, anxiety rising, the thought of navigating the morning rush hour on the Tube paralysed you before you’d even left your seat, an oasis of calm before the storm.

“Change here for the Searoad line,” the voice snapped again, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut as the train began to brake to a halt.

Eyes firmly closed, you reached out blindly to grab your bag and hauled yourself to your feet with blind determination.

No sooner had the seat’s scratchy pile left the back of your dress pants, than a new sensation appeared against your backside. A hand, grasping at the curve of your behind, desperately clawing at your flesh. Your eyes darted open, staring into the middle distance between advertising posters and the carousel of train tunnel walls flickering past the windows.

You froze solid, unable to compute the unexpected feeling. Why was someone touching you, grabbing you? Were you imagining it? Was it a simple mistake and they meant to hold onto a handrail instead?

You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and face them, not yet. Your body instinctively snapped bolt upright to escape their clutch, but the hand remained fixed to your curve, gripping tighter as your body straightened out.

Let go, you cried out only in your mind, the words refusing to roll off your tongue with your mouth clamped shut in fear. Let go of me.

Where was your usual attitude? What happened to your usual bark and bite? Why had your trademark fighting talk abandoned you when you needed it most? Dornish women weren’t raised to turn a blind eye.

The indignity of it all had you raise your drawbridge and barricade the gates.

The shock had stolen your identity.

You suddenly lurched forward, the offending hand slipping from your body as a crude slap denoted their limb had dropped into their lap. Hurriedly slinging your bag over your arm, you stumbled aside to reach the train doors and forced yourself to focus your gaze down to your own feet, conscious of tripping over the feet of the other commuters on your escape route.

Other passengers followed, smart shoes and trainers gathering around yours as you approached the door. A misty kaleidoscope hazed the corners of your vision, fear stealing your breath from your lungs as you realised that one of them may be your assailant. You cursed yourself for not looking at what they were wearing or even what they looked like, now you would never be able to identify them.

“Leaving so soon?” A sneering male voice dripped like poison in your ear, followed by a contented hum as a hand grasped your backside again. “We were just getting started, pretty girl.”

A wave of acidic bile rose up into your throat, burning your airways and forcing you to swallow harshly. Clutching at your handbag, your nails carved crescent dips into the leather as your grip tightened with every passing second.

Where’s your fight, kid? A distant echo of your uncle Oberyn’s words the first time you conceded defeat in a childish quarrel with your younger sister. Stand up for yourself!

It’s now or never.

Spinning around on your heels to again release yourself from their grip, you turned to face them. Your gaze fixed upon a tall man with long, golden hair and a bushy beard to match. His eyes were piercing, half-squinting as he observed you, clocking every inch of your face, analysing your reaction. The familiar scent of alcohol pricked your nose as he breathed.

“Look here, asshole, what’s your problem?” You snapped, an electric pulse bringing your attitude to the surface as you raised a hand to jab a finger toward his face. “Just because you can’t get some at home, you think you’re a big man trying it on the Roseroad line before you jerk off in your cubicle all day?”

The carriage fell eerily silent, passengers holding their breath as if waiting for disaster to strike.

Your rural upbringing never suitably briefed you on women’s public safety. You were exclusively educated on defending yourself in any situation, but news reports from city life suggested it wasn’t always a wise move to confront attackers, least of all to humiliate them in front of a packed commuter train.

The red mist had descended and you already regretted snapping back.

The faint notes of a chuckle burst through the stony silence, someone who tried to stifle their amusement but failed miserably. All eyes darted over to the source of the sound only to find a lithe, blonde man unsuccessfully concealing his guilt with a wry smile cinching the corner of his lips. His gaze was fixed to the floor, blissfully unaware that he had attracted the attention of the carriage.

One man’s response on the train quelled the rage inside you, dousing the fire in your chest. Releasing a sigh of relief, it felt as if your ordeal was over. With the attention of the entire carriage on the situation, a calming sense of security washed over you.

Swishing your head back to face the offender at your side, you found nothing but unfamiliar faces. In the aftermath of your outburst, he’d sidled his way through the crowd without you noticing.

Another sigh escaped you.

The train ground to a halt and its doors swooshed open with an unforgiving pace, slicing through the atmosphere in the carriage as passengers clamoured onto the platform.

“Mind the gap between the train and the platform,” came the disembodied announcement, prompting you to rush forward and drop to the platform as if instinct took over.

As soon as both feet met the concrete, another sigh came forth and you stood still. Gazing up at the bright lights leading the way toward platforms, lifts and exits, you drank in the gleaming scenery as the crowds bustled past you.

Affording yourself time to breathe on the platform, you stayed stationary, passengers dipping and diving around you until the fateful train departed beside you and left you alone in silence.

“You should be more careful,” came a man’s voice from behind you, startling you from your daze.

You turned to face the source and found the chuckling man from the carriage, his poker-straight silver hair framing his pale face and tumbling over his shoulders like a waterfall.

Your focus fell on his eyes - one blue, one purple - he was looking down on the train, they certainly weren’t visible before. But they glistened in the fluorescent lighting like precious gems. His expression was blank, neither reassuring nor stern. Simply unreadable.

“Yeah, I figured that,” you sassed, stepping toward him while tucking your hands in your coat pockets. “Thank you for… whatever that was, Mr…”

“Targaryen,” he proffered without a thought, his countenance still giving away zero emotion. “No matter, it seems you can handle yourself without anyone’s assistance. But it doesn’t always pay to confront people in London, your Dornish ways will make you a target here.”

You shook your head in disbelief. Was it that obvious you weren’t from around here? You glanced down at your outfit, wondering if this was a fashion-related remark. Do London women not usually dress so formal?

As you looked back up, the man paced toward you, but almost as if he aimed to walk right through you.

“Your attitude is a dead giveaway,” he muttered as he passed, striding along the platform and disappearing down a side corridor.

Drawing your bottom lip between your teeth as the silence on the platform deafened, the gravity of his words hit you. Perhaps you should have bitten your tongue, moved on, left the carriage without a word. What if your assailant travelled your way every morning at the same time? What if he had plans for you tomorrow morning?

You swallowed thickly, contemplating a call to the police that might cease your concerns altogether. Or it might also make you even more of a target, as the man so eloquently labelled you.

Suddenly, approaching footsteps and a stream of new commuters brought you back to your senses.

“Oh fuck,” you exclaimed to yourself, instantly aware that you would be late for your first day if you spent any longer on the platform. Gripping your handbag and swallowing your trepidation, you scurried in the man’s direction and headed into the unknown.

———

As first days go, yours was remarkably unremarkable. Introductions and office training blended into insignificance, often finding yourself drifting off into a daydream of your home. To you, the arid deserts of Dorne represented comfort, sand dunes whisking away every care you could possibly have in the world. Far from the blocky industrial landscape of the big city, where nothing works unless it’s digitised.

Your lunch break arrived all too late for your attention span, hurriedly retreating to the company’s enclosed garden to touch some perfectly manicured grass.

A buzz in your pocket signalled a notification’s arrival and you prized your phone free from its confines for the first time all day.

A local news article emerged in front of your eyes, blocks of text blurring beneath the headline:

Murder probe after death of man, 44, in Monday morning rush hour

You sucked in your cheeks. After all, that could have been you if your attacker had been less forgiving.

Scrolling down, the subheading read:

Police launch murder enquiry after man’s body found on tracks at Highgarden station

Your brows knitted together as you scrolled further, this time to a photo of a man with long, golden hair and a bushy beard to match.

Your attacker.

Your heart sank as you read on, one hand firing to clasp your mouth.

The Metropolitan police were called to Highgarden Underground Station after reports of a person struck by a train in the morning rush hour.

The man has been identified as 44-year-old Jason Lannister, Director of Casterly Rock Plc, which is widely reported as Highgarden’s most profitable enterprise and Lannister’s net worth reported as £2.9 billion.

Suddenly, it felt as if a train had also struck you. Not only was your attacker a billionaire, but also the director of the company you now worked for. Tears began to well in your eyes as your mind scurried around for answers — if he was as wealthy as they suggested, why was he taking the Tube that morning? Why would he attack his own employee?

A tidal wave of bile rose into your throat for the second time that day. Clenching your eyes shut for a moment, you forced them open to scan the article’s last paragraph:

With the death being treated as suspicious, the Metropolitan Police are appealing for witnesses that may have seen Mr Lannister this morning.

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