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bissgotaname · 2 years

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Introduction

Hello! I am new to the whole creating fanfictions thing but I will say I have been a part of the tumblr community for about 4 years now, since the start of high school. I am so excited to start this journey with anyone who would love to stop this blog, which I would like to think of as a safe place for everyone! Here are some facts about me! :

ღ Name : Lilith (I changed my name some time ago just because I wanted some change in my life), anyone here is welcome to call me Lili!

ღ Age : I am currently 18, and lemme just say that I do not feel like I’m 18. Maybe it’s just the really weird vibe I have lmao

ღ Pronouns : I go by ~ she/her pronouns

ღ Sexuality : Demisexual, Asexual, and Panromantic. I know it’s a lot but it’s been a whole journey for me and sometimes I can be quite Queer but please bear with me as I am still processing and learning things about myself. In the end, I will always be myself and want to express it with you guys!

ღ Favorite Genre : ~ So for writing I usually love to make angst QUITE A LOT actually hehehe so sorry if that’s a disappointment. I will say that I do love a nice ending so most of my writings will have fluff in the end. I do have to say it’s really based on my mood and what people want.

~ For reading which I love to do, I love supernatural/fantasy books, grief books, romantic books, etc. I just love the kind of books that get you thinking outside of this world, like your somewhere very far away and your imagination goes wild.

ღ Hobbie : I love anything that has to do with ART. Painting, singing, dancing, writing, reading, etc. I believe that all life must have something to showcase, even if it’s just for themselves. We are so beautiful and yet not everyone gets to see how beautiful each and every single person on this planet is.

ღ Groups I Stan : BTS, Ateez, TXT, Seventeen, NCT (WayV, 127, Dream, U), Enhyphen, Gidle, Blackpink, Twice, Red Velvet, Mamamoo, Day6, Stray Kids, Itzy, New Jeans, Astro, and so many more that I sort of can’t think of right this second it always comes back to me sometime later hahaha. BTW I will write for all of these groups if asked to but I mostly will do BTS just because I simply know them the best. But I will gladly do other groups!

I hope to someday inspire the world with the talents I was given in this life and I only hope you guys realize that you all are special and majestic in your own ways! I will see you guys when I start posting imagines which will be very very very soon!

Love,

Author Lilith at YOUR Service

#self-introduction #new #debut #welcome #writing fanfiction

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skz-bee123 · 1 year

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Our brightest light Moonbin

When I first received the message from a friend of mine about the news, I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it. It took me looking online to see it, it really was true.

Although I was not actively stanning Astro, they have been apart of my life for a very long time.

I didn't get into kpop until 2020, Astro was one of the first groups I saw. I fell in love. There was just something about them that drew me in. Moonbin became someone who I would admire, he was my bias before I even knew what a bias was.

I wanted to come here and write about him, say something, anything but I don't know how to properly get the words out, to say everything I want to say about him. All I can say is my thoughts and prayers go out to all of Moonbin's family and friends right now. But also to all those who have been hurt and upset by this. Your feelings are valid and if you need to cry, do it. Even if you've never met Moonbin before, even if you weren't an aroha, you're feelings are valid.

I hope that we can all come together to celebrate this beautiful life. Moonbin was an incredible soul, he was kind, gentle and amazingly talented. He did so much good and made so many people happy.

Moonbin,

You will be sorely missed. You were loved by so many and have made impacts in many arohas lives. We thank you for everything you have done and hope that you can rest well now. You did all you could. You tried your best and that's all we ever asked for. Thank you for everything you did for us and you'll be leaving behind a beautiful legacy. One that, although was shortened and could've been more, will be enough for us, enough for you. You will always be the brightest light, Moonbin.

And to all those arohas out there, I'm so sorry. I know it's going to be hard for a while but together we can get through it. We'll do it. For Moonbin. I'm always here for anyone who needs to talk, I don't care if we've never talked before. Sometimes it helps talking to a complete stranger. Just don't grieve in silence, I beg of you. I may not know who you are but I care about you. Every single person that reads this, I care. So please, if you ever need to talk, I'm always here to listen.

There is supposed to be a Solar eclipse today. A Solar eclipse is when the moon passes between the earth and the sun, it covers the light of the sun. Kinda ironic isn't it?

#moonbin #rest well moonbin

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mrsfezziwig · 1 year

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Private Grief / Public Sorrow

"What price is fame?"

I don't remember the first time I heard the quote above but it has stuck with me for a long time. I remember thinking it in 1997, the day Princess Diana died, and it's possible that is where I first encountered the phrase. Since that time I have had it pop into my head every time I hear of yet another celebrity death, no matter the cause.

Rarely does a celebrity death make me even blink, I know I didn't cry or feel anything particular of note when I heard Michael Jackson or David Bowie or even Queen Elizabeth died, in fact only twice have I been deeply impacted by the death of the famous to a degree I still feel the pain. Heath Ledger was the first, and now, in the past few weeks, Moon Bin of kpop group Astro. Neither were people I looked up to or admired in more than a casual, everyday sense; they were talented young men who could have been legendary, and I would have definitely been shocked to meet them in the street. In both cases they were young men in their prime and the outpouring of grief for them is comparable, yet the difference between East and West is palpable when it comes to the public being informed as to how they left the planet.

As soon as Heath Ledger's autopsy report was completed, easily within mere minutes of the doctor signing the forms to make it official, the world had the answer to the question of how and why: accidental polypharmacy overdose because he got confused after mixing over the counter cold remedies and prescription medication, ending up overdosing unintentionally. It was a relief, the rumours it was suicide or he was an addict were quashed and people could grieve him properly. Yet in the case of Moon Bin we don't know how he died over and above two vague possible theories: natural causes because he was known to have chronic health issues, or suicide as stated in the only official statement given by police.

Why am I here writing this? Because I have cried many tears for Moon Bin. I was not an Aroha, I knew him from being a fan of Stray Kids and watching him perform with the latter's member Lee Know. The news reached me when I refreshed my YouTube recommended page, his picture prominent at the top with the headline announcing his passing. Quickly hopping over to the BBC news app for confirmation I felt sick to see it was true, and that is where I read the police statement calling it an apparent suicide. My mind went haywire and flashed up the famous images of Jonghyun of Shinee in his memorial photograph, swiftly followed by Sulli's and Goo Hara's. I burst into tears.

Being theoretically old enough to be Moon Bin's mother, the maternal side I have developed over my late thirties cried out. Surprisingly, however, I wasn't crying out for the family alone, but more so for the fans. The kpop culture can be uncomfortable looking in from the outside, I definitely feel in some ways it's all a bit too 'cult-y', especially when it comes to the closeness of idols and their fandom. We are made to feel like we are their family too, which is why there is so much grief when an idol dies unexpectedly. The first people they thank after winning an award is the fans, and on survival shows like I-land, all the successful applications promised to show a better performance for their fans before the show even ended and they debuted. Yeah, that latter one makes me cringe somewhat.

But it was this unnatural, almost co-dependent para-social bond that made me sad for Arohas and those who were Moon Bin's solo 'stans' (add it the list... that's also rather yucky to me; I would rather not be described like a crazed stalker-murderer because I am a fan of something), that I was sad for. Because when those bonds are broken so rapidly it's natural to want to be involved in the story of the idol's death, not as a distant homogeneous mass of atoms but as someone who shared their daily life. And because of the way the laws are, rightly in the vast, vast majority of cases, this can only occur if the immediate family agree, and almost every time, they don't. Those thousands the idol invited into their lives now have to accept they are no longer of any worth, they simply no longer matter because the person they supported is dead.

Bang.

The metal door that was open and allowed them in to the idol's world is slammed shut, sealed tightly, welded closed, sound-proof... The fan usefulness has passed away with the man they felt was a stand-in boyfriend or, in a more palatable way, a brother or friend. No real chance to wave goodbye and mourn is the consequence of that twisted relationship an idol and fans have, which is why I felt so bad for them, wanting to give them hugs in silence as no words can soothe a soul with questions that can't be answered.

For context and in the spirit of honesty, I didn't get into kpop until 2021, only to find myself feeling a little stunned because my journey on the kpop train failed to stop for anyone. It barrelled into my life via the famous clip of Han from Stray Kids forgetting he was meant to join the others on stage for the Yayaya choreo, and I finally found people who were as kooky and off the wall as me. Then I began to discover the darkest shades of the industry. Knowing so many gifted young people had committed suicide was soul crushing, so then began a journey into the social pressures of Korean culture and it's shockingly high rates of suicide in people under 30. That means I wasn't a fan when any of the three people mentioned above departed life, although I read the articles and watched videos talking about them.

At this time I also found out about a young man named Yohan, who was a member of TST and who passed away in 2020. His family haven't released a cause of death, which honestly shocked me because it was so normal to me to know this information. Of course it is up to the family to decide, so I put it down and left it alone and went about my life no worse off. Seemingly, anyway, because his name would pop into my head every once in a while as I wondered why there were no answers.

This is where the situation gets philosophical. When Moon Bin died in April, the police made one ambiguous statement and then the family said nothing more, and in some way that feels... wrong. Yes, I get that there is some shame in suicide for too many, as if it was an admission you didn't care enough for your relative or else you would have seen it coming, but it's just... when someone chooses to live in public, when they choose to share their talent with the world, they take on a whole additional family; there will be people who look up to them, who find comfort in their music or performances or crazy chaotic moments on variety shows. Because of the focus on fans and how they wouldn't be idols without us, plus putting almost everything about themselves out into the world it feels a little disrespectful to be shut out like we, no matter how many groups or soloists we enjoy, no longer deserve answers, which I find immensely hypocritical. Idols themselves know without the wider public seeing them, there is no celebrity and they would not be fulfilling dreams held since childhood.

Why does that stop at death? If these people spend up to 20 hours a day filming their lives for content to share with fans, to not be told what happened to them is cruel. The reason the most high profile suicides of idols are the ones we think of with a levelheaded manner is that the idols left notes, they made it clear that they wanted us to know. They respected their fans even at the end. It will never be closure for the circle of people who were related to them or their friends, no such thing exists for them.

No one is asking the question of why the fans can be ignored like we are for fear of being seen as inappropriate, for 'pressuring' a grieving family for answers when they need time to mourn their son. But according to his family themselves, as well as those around him daily, Moon Bin loved his fans above all else, they were why he kept going even after major health problems back in 2019 as well as what the Daily Mail calls 'a lifelong struggle with anxiety'. If he himself loved his fans so much, would he want his cause of death hidden? Is it the lack of a note that is preventing the family from allowing the very basic question of 'suicide or not' to be answered? And how do you grieve when you just don't know what kind of grieving you should do?

Morality is a finicky issue that is rarely dichotomous. For example, we've been asked not to spread false rumours and reports, which is kind of hard when the truth isn't out there to prevent it. Human beings are inquisitive, it's how we've been able to become the supreme predator on this planet and create technology that just a few hundred years ago would be called witchcraft, but that drive for answers in the modern age also means gossip. And as insensitive as I am about to sound, Moon Bin's family, friends, acquaintances and colleagues will have gossiped about a celebrity death at some point, that's human nature, until it happens to you, apparently. People around the world are practically copy-pasting the words 'out of respect for the family please stop speculating' whilst hypocritically wanting to know themselves too. Simply put, the effects of being famous and putting so much of yourself out there doesn't stop when the family wants it to. For years and years this young man had the choice to quit the idol lifestyle and didn't because he loved his fans so much and honestly, I think those people who bought his albums, watched his TV appearances, purchased tickets to shows and began using skincare products he advertised put the money in his pocket that will now pass to his family and they deserve to be told the truth. You may not want to be famous but your son and daughter both are... which kinda suggests you approved of their choices, and there will be no peace for your child unless you tell people how he died.

So, unfiltered, I am going to speculate. I believe Moon Bin killed himself, that he may not have planned it out and left a note but he broke suddenly, unlike Jonghyun who tried to get attention ahead of going on with his plan by revving his car engine and burning his tires out in the car park of his apartment building only for no one to react. I believe Moon Bin walked into his home not thinking 'I am going to kill myself,' rather that his intrusive thoughts took over and he couldn't stop himself. I believe the toxic way idols who date are treated if they do - provided there were no contractual rules about the same, which are even more disgusting, by the way - meant he got home from his show abroad, was already fragile as demonstrated in his final live stream minutes before he passed away and the emptiness of having no one to come home to made him snap. Would it be better if he died of health complications? Yes it would, because the fans knew he was ill, and the pressure placed on him by the agency wouldn't have helped, there is something to blame in that scenario. As it is, we are beating ourselves up for 'failing to protect another idol' because as of now the only kind of indication we have is that short statement of 'suspected suicide'. We are grieving too, and the family has a duty to accept that we need to know the truth to move on. They will never be able to forget him, but they know how he passed and it will allow them to scar over the wound eventually, whilst we are left with a weeping sore to match our eyes as there is no answer.

Maybe it's time people consider this before putting themselves out as celebrities and they should leave clear instructions in the event of their passing regarding what they want the public to know. Had Moon Bin left instructions that he didn't want us to know beforehand, I could accept that as my closure; if that's what he wanted then I know it's a choice he made. Instead we are left feeling terrified about losing another idol and having no answers then, either. I know I've been deeply scared that Bang Chan or Hyunjin might be on the edge at times, I mean Chan couldn't eat for three days and they both get terrible hate online.

Every night I ask the universe to protect everyone in the industry, it's a habit I've developed after sitting on the wheelchair ramp outside my house as I waited for the first star to appear on the 19th April and it's one I have found myself emulating even when there is cloud cover. Let these people be people, to date and have lives that fulfill them so the likelihood of these events are minimised. Maybe it is time for that somewhat disturbing relationship of being 'best-friends' with fans and always putting them ahead of interpersonal relationships with the real world around them to be diluted down, to take the creepy out of the pasta a bit.

Dedicated to the memory of Moon Bin, who left the world on the 19th April 2023. I hope you are having a wonderful time singing and dancing for the fun of it and playing with the animals in Paradise Park. Be free, young man, be free.

#moonbin #kpop #suicide #tw death #devils advocate #fame #celebrity deaths #honesty #bereavement #public figure

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wonusite · 1 year

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I sent the dino ask before i saw your latest post

I am so sorry for him, his loved ones and people who are grieving for him because even tho i dont stan astro i really like each member and some of their songs and he was the member i felt closest to

I know how hard it is to accept the fact that you will not be able to see something new from someone you deeply cared for before, we lost a young man with so much talent and i know son many people got their strength from him. I just wish there was something we could do about this situation

I feel your pain and i understand you so if you need anything, anyone to talk to i want you to know that i am here for you even though we interacted not only twenty four hours ago

Please take all the time you need because nothing is more important than your mental health and well-being

this actually means the world to me. it doesn’t matter if we haven’t interacted long bc kindness and consideration means everything to me. truly appreciate it and i hope you know my inbox is always open too if you ever need anything 🫂🤍

#sending you all my love #ask #yandere-stories

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rhainintheattic · 1 year

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TW: death

I'm not sure what to write but I have the need to...

I don't have any big testimonial about Astro and how they've impacted my life. I can't believe that I started listening to them in middle/high school six or seven fucking years ago now. It seems like an eternity but also like yesterday.

I was never a super active Aroha but I did find friends in this community. I had fun getting excited over wins and seeing the random memes pop up on my dash. I looked forward to the day where I could buy concert tickets and meet other Aroha and see the boys live. I lived through the huge mess that was Fantagio when the shareholders took over/changed. I saw the decline in activity to near nothing over these past two years. When Moonbin and Sanha started promoting again I was genuinely excited, even though I had fallen out of Aroha mode into multi-stan.

That being said... Bin, you were always my favorite. Your smile was bright and warm and everyone will miss it. You were extremely talented and I admire how you knew your dream and started at a young age. I'm so fucking sorry that you only had this one option left. I've been there too. I just... shine bright up there, yeah? Watch over us

#work is going to be so hard today #tw death #moonbin #I'll still be active if anyone needs to talk #pretty much every astro blog i follow has archived but I'll still be here #man.... i lost my big sister in December #she was going to give me a Starry Road poster for Christmas.... now there are two deaths attached to it #not sure if I'll ever get it put up now but i will when i heal #i need to be able to remember the good times before everything fell apart

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atzdjngo · 4 months

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about me : hi, my name is lee, i am seventeen years old, from the UK and i have been shifting since late 2019 / early 2020. I have successfully shifted twice, both times to a harry potter dr ! this blog was officially created on JUNE 3RD 2024. my pronouns are they / them , but i only accept masc terms, fem terms make me uncomfortable - and gn terms quite often feel like fem terms, so please avoid those too! my goal on this blog is to meet other shifters, share scenarios, motivate myself etc;

my dr's :

i shift to a lot of places but the ones i will post about the most will be in bold ateez 9th member dr, stray kids 9th member dr, block b dr, shinee dr, 4th gen soloist dr, 3rd gen soloist dr, black knight ( kdrama ) dr, harry potter dr, mamma mia dr, outerbanks dr ++ more that i've forgotten to mention probably !

i also have a few casual ones, but i won't bother to mention them just yet !

likes , dislikes , hobbies : likes : writing, reading, kpop, shifting, blogs, making layouts, making discord servers, krp, the colour green and the colour red, musicals, snow days. dislikes : rude people, antis, toxic stays/blinks/armys, entitled people, shifters who tell others what they can and can't do in their own dr. hobbies : shifting, writing, reading, editing, making layouts for both tumblr and discord, role playing, etc;

dni : if you anti any of my ults - ateez, stray kids, the rose, shinee, block b, kep1er. if you're an anti - shifter. if you're a supremacist of any sort. if you're homophobic, transphobic, sexist, racist, ableist etc; if you push your religion onto others - i am atheist. if you anti kpop in general. if you're a pro - shipper, defender/committer of paedophilia, defender/committer of beastiality.

please interact if : you stan any of my ults - listed above. you're a shifter. you're lgbtq. you're into kpop. you're into anime. you're into musicals.

stan list + biases : favs are in bold !! groups : ateez | park seonghwa stray kids | han jisung , lee minho block b | u-kwon shinee | minho , onew the rose | ot4 kep1er | hihiz ( hikaru , bahiyyih ) 2PM | junho xikers | hunter , yechan tomorrow x together | taehyun , huening kai enhypen | jay twice | nayeon , jeongyeon big bang | taeyang , g-dragon xdinary heroes | jungsu , gaon lucy | ot4 nct 127 | yuta nct dream | jisung all my casuals ( warning, there are many! and they will be updated often most likely. ) : seventeen, jwiiver, blank2y, black level, bae173, tfn, day6, x-piers, viviz, nct wish, wayv, the new six, iz, ballistik boyz, rescene, unis, illit, the boyz, cix, exid, lun8, ampers&one, all(h)ours, 1the9, tempest, vixx, epex, dreamcatcher, black pink, bts, superm, nmixx, 8turn, riize, zerobaseone, boynextdoor, xeed, history, the kingdom, kard, sistar, purple kiss, red velvet, nchive, oh my girl, girls generation, gfriend, stayc, astro, i.o.i, brave girls, aoa, rania, 4minute, got7, tvxq!, miss a, monsta x, shinhwa, ikon, pentagon, wanna one, clc, mamamoo, treasure, nature, lovelyz, 2z, billlie, hellovenus, brown eyed girls, tws, oneus. soloists : kangdaniel woosung max changmin woodz ha sung woon taeyang g-dragon yuju nayeon chungha taeyeon sunmi jackson wang ugly duck wonstein bang yongguk ong seong wu george mino rain iu seo ji won marz23 keshi han sung woo woojin gaho demian hwasa somi chuu my favourite dramas + tv shows : uncontrollably fond - kdrama true beauty - kdrama the business proposal - kdrama king the land - kdrama meteor garden - cdrama f4 thailand - tdrama hwarang - kdrama outerbanks - western show never have i ever - western show use for my talent - cdrama angels last mission : love - kdrama anne with an e - western show arcane - western show cheer up - kdrama ( SO GOOD WATCH IT ) surviving summer - western show a time called you - kdrama doona - kdrama pending train - jdrama black knight - kdrama BLOODHOUNDS !!!!!!! - KDRAMA ( my all time favourite ) rain or shine - kdrama

extra : my fc in my dr is a more masculine version of myself, so i usually use random male kpop idols as my reference claim. i do not shift to change my race, nor do i wish to. this is just the easiest way to reference ! i also do not support my idols problematic actions, and never will. but i do enjoy their music, and for the most part - i do not allow their controversies to stop me from listening to music. also , post inspo by @sosarie + @ningsols

#reality shifting #kpop shifting #shifting blog #shifting #shifting community #shifting diary #shifting motivation #shiftblr #shifters #shifting script #intro post #introduction #blog intro #pinned post

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dalkyeom · 2 years

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I actually started biasing vernon officially when I saw his radio interview with shua Years ago, where he was talking about his mom and his sister. It was so endearing to me the amount of love and kindness he exuded and I feel like it’s only gotten more and more intense as time has passed. And then of course I got to know him even more and loved everything, he’s so funny and talented. I wavered in stanning svt for a few years because I was so overwhelmed w life but tried to keep up with vernon regardless!

Did you see the rumoured BSS comeback?? I think I’ll DIE. And the vernon mixtape dropping soon too, I don’t know how to function with this news. This is an aside but I really love that the Vern teasers were red bc it’s one of my favourite colours!! What about you? Oh and! Are there any friendships you like or svt with other idols ? I enjoy svt and astro a lot 😭💞 - 🥕

Oh! Is it the english interview from way back? I recently watched a few clips of it bc it came up on my recommended. Rocket line is one of my fave friendships in svt and they’re such sweet boys 🥺💗 also vv true!! I find their relationships with their families so endearing 😭 and amg I love how you kept up with Vernon before becoming a carat bc SAMEEEE

My friend introduced svt to me when I was starting to explore kpop (I started with Day6) and she has a cat named Hansol so she told me about svt (and I kid you not! She made it easier to remember Bonon bc she said he looks like Tom Holland and I had a big crush on him back then) but bc there was so many members, I kinda put off stanning them until Darling came out (and a few GoSe edits YT recommended me). I kept up with him too bc I associate him with my friend and he’s good friends with Pentagon’s Kino 😂

AND YES I DID AMG MY BOYS 😭 manifesting! BSS energy is so fun and chaotic I’m excited if they come out with more details. Also since the teasers are out can I just say— VERNON SOLO IS PEAK MM CHEF’S KISS! KISSING HIS BRAIN RN 😭💗 based on the teasers it hits my inner 2014 5SOS and 2008 Avril Lavigne loving heart so much. I was watching this Vernon Disconnected edit and thought this kind of sound fits him so well and THE TEASERS DELIVERED. I hope you’re alive, santa carrot bc man delivered like 😞 joining the Vernon pits with you rn!

As a multi I’m always on the lookout for svt/ptg/skz crumbs bc their my ults 😞💖 especially seventeen and pentagon! I adored their friendship since my pre-carat days— esp JunYan 🥺 I fell for Jun bc he took care of Yanan so well 😞 he’s so sweet and thoughtful when Yanan wasn’t feeling well. when he had to leave the show, Jun didn’t choose another partner bc he wanted to stay partnered to Yanan iirc (and smth about it being unfair for everyone) and I found it so brave and considerate of him like it made me cry 🥺 Junhui is many things but I’ll always remember him as a friend with a good heart bc of his friendship w/ Yanan.

And ofc MOLA gang! 😂 VerKino is the one idol to idol friendship I’ve known the longest bc of those Pentagon x other idol friendship threads and I saw so much VerKino interactions. It’s funny too bc Kino is good friends with Astro members so they probs hung out a lot over the years. (Also amg! Hello fellow Aroha 😂 I casually listen to them but I mainly keep up with Eunwoo)

#amg I’ll put my response under a read more when I get on desktop 😂#when will staff let us put a ‘read more’ on mobile 😭#ALSO MY CARROT SANTA IM SO SORRY THIS IS DAYS LATE 💀💀💀#my social battery flatlined!#my santa 🥕#💌 you’ve got mail #and aaaa I probs gushed so much! I’m a Universe originally so I love love their friendship as a UniCarat #wasn’t able to comment much as a StayCarat 😂 maybe bc I see them more as a hoobae/sunbae dynamic #BUT LMAO I KNOW CHAN MY MAN BANG CHAN!! IS A CARAT!!#he played the entire Cheers mv during Chan’s room 😭#and said Hug is one of his fave comfort songs #LIKE 🥺🥺🥺 I find it very cute (and as a Bang Chan ult) and very happy that he looks up to them #also Kino’s not my ptg ult bias (it’s Changgu) but it knocked me out how he’s also close with Joshua like #bsbdbds ULT TO ULT INTERACTIONS I HOLD ONTO THEM CLOSELY BC C R U M BS

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