#star of christmas verse

[divorced-loveyasparagus]

POV: You're about to killed by London's cutest murder couple so they can write a hit new article for their newspaper

[goliaththegiantpickle]

"i took an oath to uphold the law." (from constable dwight/jerry)

"Oh, yeah, but like, you should still gamble, y'know? Ninepin's pretty nifty. I can't fit in the building, though. Lack of tall enough doors, y'know?"

[art-bigotti]

"you have the worst taste in men." (to alan from cavis)

Art sighed, gazing past the tomato vaguely. "And what's wrong with the Reverend? He's... he's perfectly... perfect."

[pa-goffik-grape]

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!” (to Seymour from Cavis)

"Heh, sure, but it was pretty funny how ya - oh, come on, Cavis. Get a sense of humor! All the bad stuff's over with now, right? Oh. Oh, is this about that Miss Pickering?"

[rumor-weed]

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.” (to Ada from Evelyn)

"I just thought it would be fun. Does fun need a reason? I just... think if they could steal the Turtle of Damascus, couldn't we pull off stealing the real star of Christmas? We're more competent than that, aren't we? We'll steal it, sell it, make big..." she paused to consider the currency. "Shillings. Crowns."

[the-clone-of-nebby-k-nezzer]

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?” (from Daphne)

"Well, of course! I think Easter's a far more exciting holiday than Christmas anyway. I could care less about the church Christmas pageant when I have work to do. Bills don't take a holiday, Miss Daphne, why should I or my workers?"

[lauracarrot]

“ i thought you were someone special . ” (from rev gilbert)

"Thanks Mr. Pastor. I am pretty special." Laura answered confidently.

[scooterthescottishcarrot]

hi moyer i am a big fan!!! would u like to come with me to a party and beat the shit outta a punch of a listers

"I would normally say nae, but ye are a big fan, so aye, I'll help ye beat the shit outta a bunch of wimpy a-listers!"

[bartlebey]

"what are you doing?" (from arthur hollingshead)

"I... I am... bartle...butlering." Bartlebey said awkwardly, eyeing the asparagus cautiously. "Not... bartle...snooping. Butlers don't... wait, aren't you the newspaper guy?"

[unogoffboi666]

Cedric the “I’ll Eat Anything Star Shaped”, self explanatory. (Scallion 1, Star of Christmas Verse)

[frankencelery]

Silas Whisenhunt, that weird guy who just hangs around wherever the action is. (Frankencelery, Star of Christmas Verse)

[divorced-loveyasparagus]

Lizzie Hollingshead, in a lovely Christmas gown. (Lovey, Star of Christmas Verse)

[goliaththegiantpickle]

"the nudity is entirely optional." (from millward / soc)

"I'm not standing up on that stage with my whole pickle hanging out." Goliath shook his head and said, "Be honest, you just don't have the budget for a costume my size."

[art-bigotti]

“Are you sure this is legal?” (to Alan from Rev Gilbert)

Alan gave a nervous chuckle, grinning that grin that only a man who was lying through his teeth could grin. "Of course it's - would I mislead you, Reverend? It's a nice, pleasant game of Ninepin, and all you do is just... pay a little fee. And if you win, you get your fee back, times however many people you participated against. Doesn't that sound perfectly legal?"

[pa-goffik-grape]

"hold on just a goddamn second. one step at a time." (to seymour from daphne)

"What? Hey, watch the fuckin' language, I got kids around here! Somewhere. Fully grown kids, but I digress. Now what's the matter?"

[rumor-weed]

"be careful what you wish for." (to ada from cavis)

"Why? What's wrong with wantin' the fame and fortune of being a star Nine-pin bowler? I just need to borrow some money so I can play tonight."