#still not a fic but fuck it it counts

[izzystizzys]

TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog

“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”

High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”

Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.

Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.

“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”

“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.

High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.

Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”

“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”

Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”

“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.

“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.

He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-

Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.

Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.

Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!

And catch him, High General Windu sure did.

“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”

“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.

“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”

“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.

Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”

[nebuladreamz]

A little different than last year's, but here we are again. To say that this past year hasn't been absolutely wild would be a lie, cause HOLY SHIT MAN

This year's birthday is. A little different for me, but you already have the silly comic to show that so I won't make like a broken record oops

But, despite the changes and hills that life's decided I should climb or throw at, it hasn't changed the fact that I'm so genuinely fucking thankful to the people that I've known since joining this fandom. I'm not even kidding when I say that being here has actually changed my life for the better. I know I said something similar last year, but this time, hoo boy it sure turned up the AMP and test how far I could go.

So, to everyone, both new and old; thank you for being here :D

@garbagechocolate @darkxsoulzyx @smoljeanius @bunmuffin @skizabaa

@tuzesdays @sleepykas @fernzwing @kandidandi @starsketchez

@just-a-drawing-bean @notdysfunk @ilsole @amberluvsbugs @cloudyvoid

@nomsthecat @alfinefalf @nosleepygay @theblog-with-thestuff

@cacaocheri

(Edit: ty kibbits for informing me of the. Fuck ass tagging system)

AND TAGGING OTHERS BECAUSE. POINTS. BONKS WITH HEAD. GETTING TO EITHER INTERACT OR TALK OR WHATEVER IS ALWAYS A DELIGHT

@ohno-the-sun @kibbits @ink-yy @saltyfryz @kaprisvn

@hierba-picante @sunny-sophies-garden @cookiiemancer @sneeblbop @justaduckarts

@pepethehumanz @crystalmagpie447 @woolysstuff @mocha-illustrates @duhsty1

@sanchensky @pillowspace @victarin @witherfide

[I DEFINITELY GOT SONAS WRONG AND THESE AREN'T ALL THE SILLY PEOPLE I KNOW BUT IM SITTING HERE AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING JUST KNOW YOU'RE THERE IN SPIRIT HANDING YOU ALL POPTARTS WAUGH]

[linddzz]

Dreamling is at its best when it's either "we met three days ago and the wedding is next week (the wedding is a formality, Morpheus already tied our souls together don't ask how)" or a multi century slow burn where the burn is really just a long fuse leading to a cartoonish stack of gunpowder barrels and nothing in between

[theminecraftbee]

Just reread the whole scs tag and now I want to see Three's first meeting with Etho (Iirc the clip of Grian being scared of Etho sneaking around and then seeming to teleport outside the ice shop is Grian's first meeting with Etho? (And it was season 7.) And I think the "two nervous animals stare at each other" vibes could fit.)

Three is nervous.

It has heard of Etho before. Etho is very high on the threat rankings it had memorized; Etho is considered more of a threat than is currently worth taking out; Etho is, apparently, a legend even around Players who do not understand quite how much of a threat he is. There are standing orders and plans still programmed into Three on how to take him out in a way that would not make a martyr of him. Three thinks many of these plans are stupid.

Three--

Three is nervous. It has heard of Etho before, and it does not know if Etho would have heard of a Blade before, or if any of that would get in the way of it conversing with Etho. Three is relatively confident it could beat Etho in a fight. For all Etho is a threat, he is merely a Player, and Three is a Blade. That had never been why Etho is a threat. That had...

Mumbo had promised Etho was not mean. Three had asked Mumbo what that had to do with anything. Mumbo had mumbled something about how, well, if Three was worried about Etho yelling at it, then Etho wouldn't. Etho would actually also worry, Mumbo assured Three. Etho seems cool at first, but he's actually kind of awkward, Mumbo assured Three.

Three had commented that 'seeming cool at first but actually being kind of awkward' is, apparently, a common problem. It can understand why.

None of that really solves why Three is nervous, but going over the ways Etho is a threat, and the plans it has to mitigate that threat is... nice. It should not use them, because Mumbo has promised that Hermitcraft is safe. Three finds it does not want to be the reason it is not safe. Three will not mitigate the threat of Etho. Three should not have to mitigate the threat of Etho.

Three is nervous because it wants something from Etho, and doesn't have anything to offer in return.

It stands in the jungle and waits. It sees Etho arrive, because it is watching for him, but Etho seems surprised, backing away nervously on seeing Three.

"Oh. Um. Hello there. You're Mumbo's scary friend. The new one he brought here. That one. That needed help? Um, I'm Etho."

"I know. Does Mumbo describe me as scary?"

"Not usually?" Etho says.

"Oh," Three says. It does not give away its disappointment. Etho is not a handler and not another Watcher, but it is best not to give away emotions like disappointment when it wants something from him anyway.

"Is there a reason you're, uh, lurking in my base?"

Three does not fidget. It is too well-trained to. "I am here to ask a favor."

"Shoot, uh, I guess I can hear it," Etho says.

"You are making your base out of interiors, you said, in the meeting," Three says. "I--I want. I want to do that. I want--I want you to show me how to do that." The words are harder to pull out of its mouth than it thought they would be. "I do not have much to offer you. I could take care of one of your enemies, but Mumbo says Hermitcraft is safe, and I do not know if I want to do that, I just know that I want..."

Three trails off.

"Apologies. I am unclear. Will clarify," Three says.

Asking for things it wants is--hard. It's still hard. It is not good at reporting on what it wants. Etho is staring at it. Three stands perfectly still, because it is well-trained.

"Most builders aren't a big fan of interiors," Etho says slowly, "let alone a base entirely out of them. That's, uh, a big favor you're asking. Can I ask why?"

Beneath the mask, Three opens its mouth. It closes it again. It does not know how to say: because I am the thing that replaced someone who built big empty shells. Because I filled one of those empty shells. Because I could have been one of those empty shells. Because I do not want to leave behind empty shells. Because if I am gone, I want the things to leave to be knit socks and cozy rooms and laughter, not a big empty temple with a farm in the middle. Because I am Three, and I am a person, and I want the world to remember that.

What Three says instead is: "I can pay you back. I am useful."

Etho looks at Three. He rubs the back of his head. "You know, normally no one is dumb enough to give me an IOU this early in the season?" He laughs almost nervously. "Sure, man, I can teach you to make a base out of interiors. Why not."

"Thank you," Three says, and its shoulders do not slump, because it is well-trained.

"No problem. Say, what do you think about pranks?"

"I would like to learn to do those too," Three says promptly.

Etho also wears a mask. This does not stop Three from being able to tell the man is smirking.

"You know what? We're gonna get along just fine," he says. Strangely, Three believes him.

[oh-no-its-bird]

The biggest lie Naruto tells its audience is that you can be both a good person and a good shinobi.

[in-my-loki-feels]

🧡 Lokius

A couple of people expressed their hopes of Mobius and Loki getting to take their time together following the events of my latest fic, and I saw an opportunity to fill this prompt while working out what that might look like. This takes place just after they solve Loki's timeslipping. I hope you enjoy! ❤️

(Going to also count this as my WIP Wednesday since this will hopefully become something longer, so thank you for the tags: @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @elodiah, @lokimobius, @thosegayoldmen)

🧡 kissing in bed / lazy kiss / cuddling

As tempted as Mobius was by the hesitantly hopeful look Loki sent over his shoulder as he was ushered into Mobius' bathroom, Mobius thought it’d be better for them both to have some space and a moment to calm down. Mobius, from almost having his skin peeled off, and Loki, from whatever hell he'd been through timeslipping uncontrollably before being ripped back into the TVA. 

That’s what he told himself and it sounded like a good idea, up until Loki came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel. 

“Dressing seemed pointless,�� Loki said, leaning against the doorframe with a hand on his hip. 

There was a lot of skin on display, skin Mobius had seen before, but it felt different now after having almost lost him. Mobius got to his feet and approached slowly, shaking his head at the way Loki’s smirk grew the closer he got. 

“Mobius,” Loki said, low and inviting. He leaned in once Mobius reached him, but the artificially clean smell coming off his skin only reminded Mobius of how he was still drenched in sweat from his journey down the gangway. He turned his head so Loki’s kiss landed on the side of his mouth.  

“Don’t I deserve a chance to freshen up?” he asked with a rueful smile. 

“You could’ve had that with me,” Loki pointed out. 

They were almost pressed chest-to-chest in the narrow doorway and Mobius was only so strong. When Loki leaned in a second time, Mobius tilted his face up to meet him halfway; he felt a smug smile teasing Loki’s lips.

Loki’s hair was still wet and droplets of water sprinkled onto Mobius’ lapels when Loki tilted his head. It was their first kiss since they’d parted in the Void, and it was tempting to give in and let Loki guide them over to the bed, but... Mobius put a hand on Loki’s chest—and had to take a moment to press more firmly, to drink in this skin-on-skin contact—before he gently pushed Loki back.

“You can wait a few more minutes,” he said, and squeezed by to get into the bathroom. Loki was pouting as Mobius closed the door, but he didn’t break in, not even after Mobius turned on the water and stripped. 

Mobius washed quickly. Even if he was trying to contain himself, he was as eager as Loki was. He decided Loki had the right idea about clothes and so when Mobius opened the bathroom door, he was also only wearing a towel. 

Loki was sitting on the bed, still in his towel. As Mobius approached, Loki reached out to catch his hands, pulling Mobius to stand between his knees. 

“Hey,” Mobius said quietly, feeling a giddy smile slide into place. He had a vivid flash of when he’d said that to Loki just before their second kiss. Judging by Loki’s smile, he remembered it, too. Loki tugged on Mobius’ hands to get him to bend enough for their mouths to meet.

In the wake of confronting Ravonna, the timeline branching uncontrollably, and Loki’s timeslipping, their time in the Void almost felt like a dream. Now, every kiss, each more perfect than the last, brought those memories into sharper clarity. Mobius’ mind was filled with everything they’d done and even more that he wanted to do, but he fought the urgency rising within him. 

Loki wasn’t as composed. He shifted his grip to Mobius' hips as their kiss deepened and that was the only warning Mobius had before he was pulled down and rolled onto the mattress. Loki scrambled after him, draping himself across Mobius as he sought out Mobius’ lips again, this time with a little more desperation. Mobius cupped Loki's face, indulging in how good it felt as their tongues slid together, before he pushed Loki back. 

“Hey, slow down for a second, okay?” He could hear he was hoarse and cleared his throat.

Loki’s gaze hung on Mobius’ mouth for a second before he dragged it up to meet Mobius’ eyes. His hands paused in their roaming but Mobius could feel them trembling, either from Loki having to restrain his eagerness or something else. 

“You know I have to say it, right?” When Loki tilted his head, puzzled, Mobius grinned. “I was right. You made it back.”

He watched a shine wash over Loki’s eyes as his hands tightened briefly. Mobius brushed his thumbs over Loki’s cheeks in soothing strokes. 

“It’s just you and me right now. No one's here to rush us.” The words called to mind the last time they’d been in bed together. He knew Loki was thinking of it, too, because his brow furrowed. They probably needed to talk about what had happened at some point, but Mobius had bigger priorities right now. “I wanna take our time. Does that sound good?” 

The frown lines faded immediately as Loki gave him a watery-eyed smile. 

“Yes, of course. I want that, too,” he said, ducking to give him a quick peck on the lips. Mobius chuckled.  

“Okay, but you can still lead since I’m kinda new to this.”

He flushed as he admitted it, but the words brought a smile to Loki's face. The expression was one part delight, one part wickedness, both of which made Mobius’ heart leap, but Loki didn’t pounce. He carefully dipped his head to press his mouth to Mobius’, relaxing his hold on Mobius as he kissed him gently.

This is what they'd wanted from that encounter in the Void, what President Loki had been too impatient to bear, or more likely too annoyed about because it left him out. Slow, lazy kisses that let them savor every second. Mobius’ heart beat faster with anticipation of what was to come, but for now, he allowed himself to enjoy this.

[hamartia-grander]

Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck

[starry-bi-sky]

more cfau miscellaneous things because Childhood Friends Danny and Jason have my head and heart always and I need to finish rewriting chapter two dammit (and redo the half-finished chapter 4 because its just Not The Vibes). i'm almost through I need to get through the graveyard scene. (i just stubbornly refuse to have it be shorter than the original chapter and thats the little death. that is the mind killer.)

Danny and jason’s ghost forms both smell faintly like burnt flesh and cigarettes. However, Jason has a more smokey smell while Danny’s smells almost,,, electrical? In a sense? Like he just straight up smells like burnt flesh and sulphur while Jason smells like someone put him in a smoker first.

It’s very much an unpleasant smell but Danny finds an odd comfort in it just as much as he finds a comfort in the smell of nicotine.

(Jason post-revival smells burnt flesh once and is immediately offput by the fact that it brings him an instinctive comfort. He doesn’t realize its because it reminds him of Danny, and is uncomfortable by it.)

-

In an au of an au, Danny’s altercation with Rath ends with Rath regaining enough of his sanity to snap out of the grieving state and ends with him breaking down. Instead of being souped and imprisoned, Rath, who is permanently 14, decides to Move On into the unknown. He’s exhausted, heartbroken, and tired.

(Is this influenced heavily by the ParaNorman scene where he talks to Agatha and helps her move on? Yes. But it doesn’t fit with the Original Storyline so im shoving it into an Au of an Au.)

Rath tells Danny that Jason lied to them (which he genuinely believes), and that he’s tired of waiting/looking for him/grieving. Jason is gone. He isn’t coming back, he abandoned them. And he wants his mom and dad, and his sister, and his friends. And he’s ready to join them.

He leads Danny out to Gotham, which other than Amity Park might’ve been the only city left untouched due to Rath’s own mental block on the place. They go out to the park he and Jason used to frequent or up to one of crime alley’s rooftops, and there Rath lies down and goes to sleep. Only to never wake up again, materializing into nothing as his soul moves on.

Before Rath leaves, he forces Danny to promise him that he’ll only wait for Jason for ten years. After that if he doesn’t find him, or if Jason doesn’t show, then Danny has to move on. Whether that be like how Rath does, or if its inly mentally/emotionally, doesn’t matter. He has to move on. Don’t wait for him. Don’t waste his time any more.

(“Oh, and if you find him, kick his ass for me.”)

Danny reluctantly agrees, and Rath lies down. Danny sings to him as he falls asleep.

(Angsty points if the vigilantes including Red Hood caught wind of their presence and were silently watching from the shadows. Rath might know they’re there, but Danny’s too focused on Rath to notice.)

(If only so that Red Hood realizes that this is what happened to Danny, and that Danny is gone before he can make things right. The tragedy, folks. The angst. The initial realization that Danny was Rath, and then also that Danny was dead and has been dead for years, and that before he moved on, he moved on believing that Jason abandoned him.)

(like i said it doesn't fit in the original timeline/storyline hence why its an au of an au and isn't nearly a fleshed out, but i was largely just focusing on the tragedy of Rath moving on and Jason being alive to see it and realize just who Rath is.)

-

Just like how the Lazarus pits shot Jason's twiggy 4'6-5'4 (depending on what you find) feet tall and 86lb ass up like a tree an essentially fixed his malnutrition, the portal did the same thing for Danny.

(granted i forgot about malnutrition and danny's likely stunted growth at first -- his family lived in crime alley and despite both his parents working, I don't think they had enough food all the time. He probably wasn't as badly malnourished as Jason was, but he wasn't healthy either.)

Granted his ghost in its "natural" state (14) is short, and his growth spurts were slow at first, it did result in him reaching his dad's height. There were points where it just happened overnight, like a baby. He went to bed one night 5’6 and woke up the next day 5’10.

Jazz is shorter than him. Although I have't decided if she's even liminal at all (and if she is, it didn't cure everything because she would have also suffered childhood malnutrition, and since in au canon their parents didn't get their hands on physical ectoplasm until after they got to Amity Park. So the exposure is less.)

-

Danny's voice absolutely sounds like canon Dan's. It kinda just dropped one day when he was 16-17 and never went back up. Sam and Tucker sometimes ask him to just talk about anything because they find his voice soothing.

I'm not sure yet how Danny would feel about it at first considering Rath, but I imagine that Rath, when he did speak, would have had a quieter and scratchier/weaker voice considering he's spent the last decade shrieking and crying.

(and i suppose technically that shouldn't have any effect on his throat considering he's a ghost and idk if that would actually affect him, but i like the idea so im keeping it)

In the beginning you could hear him from a mile away by the sound of his loud, echoing wails, but ten years later you can only really hear him by the soft, shuddering sobs he makes. Like he's gasping for air that isn't there. The future is full of very quiet survivors.

And it's much easier to speak when you pitch your voice upwards (especially when whispering/speaking quietly) so he might've spoken in a higher, airy pitch in order to be heard. So Danny might actually find a comfort in having a lower voice.

[lesbianralzarek]

trying to not complain about the discrepancy between how much content fictional women and poc have vs the white dudes in every fucking fandom im in, because no one owes me fanart/fic and i can make shit myself, but holy fuck can any of you name a woman?

[battybrownboo]

Rating: Explicit

Summary: An exhausted Bruce returns to Gotham after a weeks-long press tour on the west coast. But he's forgetting something. Joker is more than willing to remind him.

Got another oneshot for yall! Domestic established relationship, bit of smut, lots of bickering and dysfunction, plenty of Bruce and Joker arguing like an old married couple.

[inkblackorchid]

THE EVIL IS DEFEATED

Fuck, now I need to hack this duel to pieces and put it in separate chapters after all, this is way too long...

[hatsukeii]

chat! what if i told you! i’m gonna write the most painful, disgustingly sad smut as a debut into the world of nsfw! i’m not even gonna make it pleasurable or horny! just sad and really fucking melancholic but beautiful!

[diantheia]

I got curious and checked; only 6 (roughly) of the 100 fics don't have Sebastian in the tags.

[shiningstarr15]

I need to draw more of Doublestar Duo. I’ve only drawn them like five times and it may seem like a good amount but to me that is CRIMINALLY LOW !! 😭🌟🌟

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

TRANCH TRADE TRANCH TRADE TRANCH TRADE. throwing this at ur helmet so it bounces off in a goofy way

YAYYYYY TRANCH TRADE I LOVE IT HERE IN THE MUD AND GOOP AND BLOOD AND VISCERA!!!!!!!!

ohhhhh winnebago descriptions....... i loooove the winnebago i love the "living in their car and shitty motels bc they have nowhere else to go and are also on a huge fucked up road trip" energy..... ohhhh vyncent pov save me vyncent pov. see now you have to write a dakota pov to complete the set. 3 of them do not separate !!!!!

DESPERATELY SCROUNGING AROUND IN THE MUD for bits of my william fic i can share with you that arent MASSIVE fucking spoilers. hes going thru it a little . also this is insanely unedited bc i have just been writing it in little bursts at midnight+ :

alsooooo a little tiny bit of trickster dialogue from the mark nightmare fic (WHICH. BTW. is officially the longest thing I have written for fun in the last like 3 or 4 years holy shit. i officially crossed the 3k word threshhold yesterday everyone cheer and clap) :

[artemx746]

Can somebody write a soulmate or hanahaki au where the concept isn't extremly amatonormative?

Thanks