#stillstruggling

[compassionatereminders]

I'm in a new relationship; it's my first one. I've known him for over 10 years a friend with some contact breaks here and there. He knows some of my history but nlt all. I'm open to share them but he doesn't want to know. He says he likes me as I am but the issue isthat I'm stillstruggling with a lot that happened which come out whenever I feel unsafe or we have an argument. Recently, my aunt insulted me quite harshly and started nagging on points that I'm sensitivr about. It made my mood horrible. I went to him and asked for validation and reassurancr because they're not just someone saying things about me but also what I believe about myself. It helps to hesr from someone I know and trust that I'm not as horrible as I believe myself to be or others say I am. I try my best to keep it under control and have changed and done a lot to keep things more or less under wraps around him since jt makes his mood worse when I ask for reassurance. He feels like I'm bashing our relationship when I ask why he likes me, what makes him happy to be with him. Sometimes he'll say something negatuve and I'll want some clwrification on what he meant, he hates that because he feels like I'll use it as ammunition against him when I never did that. I genuinely want to know. I'm frustrated. I feel like I need to hide this big aspect of myself (my history, my mental illness) from him because every time I try to share something he sees it as me excusing my behavior when I'm trying to explain where it comee from, not excusing it. I always say how that's nkt meant as an excuse too. I just want him to know me, to know that I need things due to my history, due to not being loved in the past. Am I wrong?

This sounds really toxic/not constructive, and I personally wouldn't date a guy who didn't care to listen to me and learn my story

[dustedmagazine]

Chris Forsyth — Solar Motel (Expanded) (Algorithm Free)

Chris Forsyth marks the ten-year anniversary of his turn from towards rock with this expanded edition of Solar Motel, augmented with two previously unreleased studio tracks and a side-long live WFMU recording of “Paranoid Cat.” The two newly released tracks are a revelation, solidifying and reaffirming Forsyth’s connection to Television (he studied with Richard Lloyd) with cartwheeling guitar riffs and roiling, surging percussion in the epic vein of Marquee Moon.  

Forsyth was just off his 2011 release of Paranoid Cat when he made Solar Motel, stillstruggling for a way to incorporate a palette of influences—Television, Takoma-style fingerpicking, psych and drone—into a coherent aesthetic. Our own Bill Meyer saw him as only partly successful at this on the previous album, calling Paranoid Cat, “an album that is full of good ideas lifted from other people’s work, but he makes such good use of them that it’s easy not to care.”

Solar Motel, Forsyth’s first full-band album, was a big step towards the driving, boogie-ing, rock-leaning long grooves that we have since come to associate with the guitarist. In the notes, he says, “Solar Motel is the first record on which I overtly took rock tropes and twisted them into new shapes, incorporating so many of my interests and influences - the twin-guitar elegance of Television, the sprawl of West Coast psych, the boiled down Rock Minimalism of Rhys Chatham, the abstract tangles of free improv, an undercurrent of ecstatic jazz energy, and the studio textures of Eno/Cale/Roxy ‘70s art rock.… Solar Motel basically set the template for much of what I did for the remainder of that decade.”

The band for Solar Motel included Forsyth, drummer Mike Pride, bassist Peter Kerlin and keyboard player Shawn Edward Hansen, all musicians that Forsyth had worked with previously in various roles and configurations. It was recorded mostly live, though Forsyth put in additional guitar after the fact to build up Television-like layers of interplay. The music took shape in four numbered tracks Solar Motel I through IV.  “Part I” opens with tense, staccato guitar, at first alone, then joined by a second guitar and bass. The groove is insistent, cleanly minimal, and over it, Forsyth improvises warm, fluid arcs of solo guitar, and as it goes, the texture becomes less of a drone and more of a warm, living jam. This becomes a pattern over the next three track, as taut, disciplined motifs blossom into full-band free play. Repetition becomes a launching pad for the wildest swirls of improvisatory ornament, with sweet lyrical mid-range guitar vaulting over motorik grooves.

All that is still there, still striking in the way it marries austere experiment to lighter flaring guitar solo. If you haven’t heard it—or haven’t heard it in a while—all four original tracks remain very much worth a listen. However, it’s the new stuff that you’ll want to spin right away, because these two unreleased tracks take the basic experiment and launch them into richer, more exciting directions.

“Harmonious Dance,” at just under nine minutes, is the expanded release’s best tune. A slow chime of guitar notes hitting turbulence early on in Pride’s swelling drum roll. The notes get bigger, more resonant, more sustained as they go, taking on the burnished glow of Lloyd and Verlaine in tandem (though without the trebly yelp of vocals). “Long Warm Afternoon” starts out with warmth and sustained tones, building shimmering textures of guitar over a steady thump and roll. Both cuts feel less restrained, less tightly disciplined than the original Solar Motel cuts. It’s as if Forsyth had a concept for setting down guardrails and eventually swamping them with sensory data, and it took him a while to implement it fully.

The WFMU recording is fine, too, letting the twitchy glamor of “Paranoid Cat” stretch out, catch fire in a truly insane instrumental freakout and somehow stuff all that back into the bottle for a reprise of the original melody. But if you need a reason to check out this ten years after reissue, I’d look at the two unreleased tracks, where Forsyth and his band hit a groove they’ve been riding ever since.

Jennifer Kelly

[theconfusings1]

#slavery #blacklivesmatter #credit #instagram #instagramers #instagramhub #peopleofcolor #blackpeopleproblems #unitedstates #freedom #stillstruggling #racism #racistjokes #racistmemesarefunny #survivor #survivallife #interiorrebellion #truth #truthinplainsight #truthhurts #truthtopower #lifequotes https://www.instagram.com/p/CRafdMGlV5a/?utm_medium=tumblr

[aionioscreations-blog]

Kolhapuri ruby studs ____ We offer free shipping in India Cash on delivery available Worldwide shipping ____ Fir orders and enquiries DM us or mail us at aionioscreations@gmail.com . . #fortheloveofearrings #kashibai #bajiraomastani #deewanimastani #jewelryoftheday💎 #jewelryofinsta #jewelleryofindia #fortheloveofjewellery #pune #punemaharashtra #journeysofar #notgettingup #failedattempt #lōst #notthatgood #fuckedupfriday #givingupisnotanoption #stillstruggling #aionioscreations #aioniosjewelry (at Pune, Maharashtra) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPX0k4_Jz1M/?utm_medium=tumblr

[guance-arruginite]

Belle canzoni ,preparazione di esami e stanze blu. Disperazione olio su tela.

[lovechildnazhe]

I can feel myself slipping, slipping back into that dark place that I promised everyone I wouldn't ever go back to. Here I am failing to stay above my thoughts failing everyday to keep myself from that dark place a place where I haven't been waiting to go but can't stop myself from going. Honestly my depression is kicking my ass, think I might be happy to go back to that place filled with drinking and drugs and sex with no love. I can feel myself slipping everyday. But I don't wanna stop, maybe I can just slip away to this place and no one will ever know.

[lifeeclipsed]

Just changed my jewelry and I look hella cute so it's gratuitous selfie time! Featuring a few Snapchat filters. #septumpiercing #septumjewelry #piercing #bodymod #stillstruggling #butimcute https://www.instagram.com/p/ByQrmpapTRl/?igshid=119ml22k5iuln

[jerilynnphoto]

Damn you @parlourvegan You’ve pulled me in again😳😍#sogood #betterthannonvegan #dessert #vegandessert #canthelpmyself #parlourveganbakery #ijustcantdrivethroughboca #vegan #planteater #cookieeater #vegancupcakes #whatveganseat #govegan #veganbingeeater #stillstruggling #bingeeatingrecovery #onedayatatime #tomorrowisanewday #sugaraddict #compassionateliving #crueltyfree #veganchick #thestruggleisreal #veganjunkfood #comfortfood #comforteating #feelingtoomuch #empathchick (at PARLOUR VEGAN BAKERY BOCA)

[getthataplus]

UPS AND DOWNS

Alright, I’m back. I read what I left off last time and it was when I had run away from The Super Triplets. That day was honestly a disaster after that. I had people coming up to me left and right asking me to do their homework or give them answers. It was crazy. Then I remember my teachers giving me a test for my IQ. I hated the attention, and I was starting to regret that book hitting me on the head at all. I wanted my old life where I was barely noticed. To make matters worse, the Metroville Lab had contacted me asking if they could look at my brain because my IQ was something they had never seen before. I was so annoyed with everyone and everything. I was so close to giving up on even fighting Gradepocolypse but, I decided instead of giving up, I should call my mother because she’s always got great advice. I ranted to her about my horrible week and she felt sorry for me but, then she said words that I still go by today. “Sometimes, you have to use your powers to help others especially if they don’t understand, it’s your job to enlighten them.” Those words really hit me that night. I remember staring up at the ceiling after I hung up and knowing she was right. I was a hero and that’s why I was SHO in the first place! So, the next day, when The Super Triplets came up to me, demanding for me to do their homework, I instead tutored them. At first, they were hesitant but, they ended up agreeing to it. Surprisingly, I was a good teacher for someone. It wasn’t only them that I tutored too, it was a bunch of my other classmates and they all passed their tests! Everyone thanked me and I was flattered by it all. But after that all, I had yet to solve my final problem, how to defeat Gradepocolypse. Everyone gave me ideas of beating them up, making a heart ray but, it didn’t feel right at all. So there went another late night staying up of how to defeat Gradepocolypse.

[badfey]

buzzing my hair is wild bc the feeling of cut hair is so overwhelming its always just a matter of time before i overload or meltdown and yell at my mum accidentally

[thetokwannizam]

Semoga Allah SWT Permudahkan Segala Urusan aku Dan keluarga untuk mencari rezeki yang halal di dunia Dan di akhirat.. Semoga dengan rezeki yang lebih boleh jua untuk kami melangsaikan segala yang tertunggak, walaupun perit untuk bertongkat di bumi ini Insya ALLAH semoga Allah merahmati perjuangan ini.. Pada Jumaat yg penuh barakah ini, Mohon iringan doa dari semua sahabat utk kami sekeluarga.. Insya ALLAH #thekebuloquetruck #thetokwanclan #stillstruggle #untilnow (at MRSM Baling) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8iPCLygaqd/?igshid=1c2ffi4b5u8po

[luidilovins]

Some life updates for anyone who's interested:

Quit my job at safeway

Got a new job with less than reputable goals so I'm feeling like im selling out my moral values for 18 bucks an hour

Got snowed in at my brother's friends place and ran out of meds

Went thru antipsychotic withdrawl that made me sick for nearly a week

Had a breakdown on new years both from worldly problems and lack of meds. Stillstruggling with this one

My cat has a small uti and i spent the 200 dollars i got for christmas for medications and special diet food (she's peeing normally now)

Been on an uninspired streak since the move and its starting to bum me out.

Wish i had something funny to say :/

My switch isn't changing properly and i miss animal crossing

[originalvoidcoloropera]

Mom 2.0: You’ve been scratching again. Or are you cutting?

Me: Uhm

Mom 2.0: You’ve gotta stop doing that, it isn’t becoming of you. You’re better than that and you’re home.

[berniearchiemac]

It's 2017 how is it possible that there's still "First Black to" anything? #stillstruggling #stillbehind #whatelse (at Planet Earth)

[randydahl]

#stillstruggling #itsahardlife #fightonrandy #lonelyredwine #paintour #gdansk (ved Gdańska Starówka)

[djsabo]

Trying to cure this Purim hangover with some spicy harissa ratatouille and grilled steak in tahini sauce accompanied by crackling vinyl selections at Port Said...#vibequest2017 #stillstruggling #damngoodharissa #telaviv