#stop being a freak vro...

[squeapereaper]

i hate griefer ignore what the opps tell you

[meowtus]

Project Meridian yap sesh 😭 spoilers (obviously) ahead !!

This was one of those things where I was like “yeah….I had a feeling this could’ve been the ending Project Meridian’s leaning towards,” but I wasn’t expecting the EXTENT of just how little we really know about the real versions of these characters.

A part of me kind of wishes that we did keep the robot-sci-fi thing, and having an android listener was cool but I can understand why the other route was gone. Though I could see how the storyline could’ve been fit into the main storyline—it would get a little complicated. But Project Meridian was a CRAZY ride. Had my brain turning and I was second guessing everything. Like the Marcus Code, the Asset being a test of the waters in the Meridian, THE DREAM ITSELF & THE SEPARATION OF REALITYY ??? 10/10 would like to experience for the first time again.

But I think the distinct moment when magic started getting vaguely involved within Project Meridian now is like—SUPER different contextually than before (when I inevitably go to relisten). Like the real-world experiences with magic within Asset’s memory bleeding into something that should’ve remained a disconnected reality. And Marcus…Mark? Marc??? Lord knows anyway

His character just got like A MILLION times more interesting knowing he’s a dreamwalker. And that he had control over the dream for a while, before things got out of control. Did at what point did he realize that the dream was out of his hands?? URGHH it’s fascinating. Also the loneliness and still seeking it through a person who 1. Does NOT remember jack about doing any of this 2. Genuinely believes they’re a robot and is programmed to like you is SO messed up, and even though he’s lost that grip on the Asset’s dream—he didn’t want to leave or stop the dream from getting to the extent it did. And they FREAKED IT IN THE DREAMM?? Vro. I hope we get more of him later because that’s a crazy bag of worms. He’s a looser…what a guy amirite 😭

But hands down I think the coolest part about all this is James. Well, both James versions, and how the Asset’s views on them distorted him in the dream. James turning out to be some guy™️ working for the department in contrast to the cold, calculated, put-together variant is amazing and I’ll think about it forever.

Peak Cinema…thank you Mr. Redacted for the meal 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[dollivication]

Yan Dante with a housewife/husband :3

You really don't wanna be there, but better spend all day cooking and cleaning not thinking than chained up in his smelly ass room or some secret basement he magically has

Dante loves pizza, but he hasn't felt the warmth of a home cooked meal in decades. The feeling he gets from seeing a clean shop, hot food on the table, and the love of his life waiting for him just makes him overwhelmingly happy. After week long missions hearing you welcome him home, albeit he had to beat it into you to get you finally say it, is one of the best things of his life. He knows what his father felt like with Eva, and now he can't help but want a few kids of his own...

Let him misgender me tbh I can't lie....... IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM

Also this scenario with vergil mueheheheeh..... while Dante would be accepting of any kind of partner as long as u never leave him and love him eternally, I think vergil would yearn for something more traditional. More maternal (mommy kink Vergil peak......) wants you to wear a pretty dress and always look pretty for him when he comes home.

(he probably doesn't even have a home he stays at Dantes shop FREAK!!!)

He's very 1950s stereotypical in my opinion IN SOME WAYS I don't think he would like beat women or hate gay people or something..

wants to bend you over the counter and breed you while your still in your apron but Dante lives there too and you always cook enough for the both of them on total accident!!! (Ur hoping Dante realizes it a cry for help)

Woah this is very long um idk I think cooking and cleaning for Yan!Dante and Vergil would be nice yay yipeee 🌀

oh this is splendid… it is ROCK HARD RIGHT NOW i would not mind cooking and cleaning if it meant getting half demon dick errynight 💯💯💯

OHHHHMYGOGJFGdfhh i want dante to hit me .,,,.he’d probably knock me oyut but it’d be worth it!!! this fucker INSISTS on having yu wear an apron because it hugs yur curves laik vro just. EAT your fuckign food… it is NOT that deep STOP IT FIEND!!! never fails to be a perv even in the most normal situations…

you’re scrubbing the floor on all fours??? DOGGY STYLE!! washing dishes?? nice thighs! fucks them!! cooking?? it’d taste better with yur cum!! kill him PLEASE god….. and dante isn’t afraid to slap you around! maybe cups your jaw and forces kisses too if you’re being especially pissy :3

he can’t put a ring on it just YET!! he’s a bit broke 4 that but if you can get pregnant, he will most certainly knock you up…… he probably thinks pregnancy = marriage,, laik mm not quite vro! Execution 🩷

TITTERED AT VERGIL’S BIT I WONT FRONT!!!! i DO agree that he leans more for a traditional spouse.. he’s so old fashioned i hate that Strange creachure..;;

what a mommy kink does to a mf!!! god forbid he catches you acting all nurturing for a kid because it’ll activate something in him!!! (◞‸◟) he’ll be motivated for the wrong reasons and probably stop caring about decency in dante’s house.,,, PUT it DOWN!!!! FUCK!!!

dante is probably too fuckign stupid to think outside of “oh yumy Food..,,🤤” and consider that “oh! vergil is probably forcing them to stay with him here….”

& you’re absolutely cooked if the fiend nature runs in every sparda,,, because if dante DOES realize you’re being kept there against your own will,, he probably will just shrug it off because nobody else will keep his place clean + he gets free food + he can jork it to the sounds of you guys fucking (free porn!!) :3 big and Greedyh….

[chososcamgirl]

HEY SIGMA IYA 😈😈 LOADS OF YAPS TODAY.. 

I DIDNT FIND MY AIRPODSSS (ARGHHHHH) SO ILL PROB JUST BUY NEW ONES WHEN I GET THE CHANCE TO 😔😩 HEARD THERES A NEW ONE COMING OUT SOON SO I MIGHT GET THOSE SINCE THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE CHEAPER ARFHRHHRRBRBRBRBR MY ENGLISH TEACHER IS ACTUALLY AN OP.. ITS SUNDAY NIGHT AND I HAVE EASY CLASSES TMRW SO THANK THE LORD FOR ANSWERING MY PRAYERS BC IF I HAD ENGLISH TMRW I WOULDD OF STARTED TWEAKKKKINGGGGHH 🙏🙏🙏 I HAVENT DONE ANY OF HER HW YET AND IK IF I CAME EMPTY HANDED SHES GONNA JUMPPP MY ASS 

OH MY GYATTERS.. I WAS LITERALLY BLASTING MITSKI AND BEING A LONE WOLF TODAY (ovulating 😔) AND THEN I SAW THAT TOU WOULD KILL OFF TOGE IN MY HONOR IF I DIED.. RHATS HOW I KNOWWWWW I HAD TO LOCKKK INN BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET HIM DIE 👿🔥‼️💔💔 ARGHHH IM ACRUALLY FEINING FOR HIM SOOOO BADDD IM LOCKING IN SOOO HARD BECAUSE OF YOU IYA‼️‼️ MY MOOD SWINGS WERE SOOONOT SKIBIDI TODAY BECAUSE TELL ME WHY I WENT FROM A LONE WOLF TO AN ALPHA IN HEAT UGHHH I HATE OVULATING BUT I JUST GOTTA POWER THRU ‼️😔 

I ACTUALLY CANT GO TO THIS UNSIGMA SCHOOL ANYMORE SOMEONE GET ME OUTTTTT BUT LIKE I CANT DROP OUT SINCE I GOTTA LOCK IN AND MAKE BANK YKYK?? VRO IM JUST GOING THROUGH IT TODAY 😣😣 BUT UR UPDATE LITERALLY HEALED ME LIKE ILYSM IYA STOP MATCHING MY FREAK SO WELL ARBHFNRNR EVERY TIME I CLICK ON YOUR PROFILE MY LEGS START WUIVERINGGGG UGHHHHEHEHHRRHJREBRNBRBE IM NOT USUALLY THIS 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 OVULATION IS DOINGGGG SHITTT TO MEEE ARGHHHHH 

THE FACT YOU SAVED MY ASK FOR LAST INCASE U HAD A BAD DAY!?? AUGHBRHRBRBR ITS ALL OVER THE SCREEENNNN CLEAN UP AISLE MY PANTS‼️😩😈 (I HAD AN IMAGE PREPPED FOR THIS BUT IT DIDNT GO THRU.. SO IF YOU SEE THIS ASK 2 TIMES IT JUST MEANS THAT THE FIRST ONE WENT THRU BUT I REPOSTED THIS ONE JUST INCASE)

IM PST SO UR LIKE.. A DAY AHEAD OF ME WHICH IS SO SKIBIDI CUS THAT TECHNICALLY MEANS I GET EARLY ACCESS TO SJAP (FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS) not really.. BUT ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.. ANYWAYS ILYSM IYA SIGMA GNN *gives you (and toge 😈) a big wet kiss*

HI ALPHA!! 🐺🐺

NAURR💔💔 don’t worry you’ll find them.. i believe in you.. OR YES GET THE NEW ONES! think of it as an early christmas present… GIRL DO THE HW😭 but trust if she still remains an opp i will handle her.. i don’t know how.. but i will…

LMFAO THE OVULATION PART IS SO REAL😭 i think mitski is a just top tier artist i love her sm. i used to listen to her 24/7 CONSTANTLY in 2021 like omg why i was listening to circle when i was 14 🤨 (i was depressed basically) ALSO YES I WILL KILL OFF TOGE SO YOU CANG DIE OTHERWISE THE MASSES WILL KILL ME😓😓 LMFAOO ok i have to stop making him a lowkey love interest just in case i do write a toge or yuji spin off 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ periods SUCK don’t worry girl we must grind through the pain💔💔 also i feel like toge would tweet something stupid like “just found out what periods are.. women are so strong❤️” OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT HELP. I BELIEVE IN YOU!! keep it up and keep grinding at school ily alpha <3

LMFAO OH MY GOD PLEASE 😭 BOT THE FONT. yes ur asks make my day :33 MY REACTION TO THE THIRD PART OF UR ASK ARE IN A MIX RN IM WEAK. (don’t worry i imagine all alpha wolf images are what u would send to me if u could <3) OKAY PST TIME🔥🔥 EARLY ACCESS FR🔥🔥 that IS skibidi… ILY ALPHA PLS NEVER DIE OR STOP THESE <333 *smooches*

[gravitasfalls]

#with tbob being out I was expecting a lot more sympathy for ford from this fandom #…but uh apparently not (via @spirit-dumps)

#SAME! #what the hell guys i thought we were getting over this bullshit #ugh this fandom is a literal nightmare right now (via @jacky-rubou)

#i dont get it #never hated ford #but also never understood the hate for him either #was he supposed to just lie down and be bills toy #its baffling how anyone can hate him #does no one recognize trauma #or ptsd #or the fact he was vulnerable already being considered a freak #even if he is a genius #sigh #i shake my head (via @gravity-falls-fanatic89)

#literally #i've moved past gf at this point but the fandom's ford takes are so fucking bad #bad enough that i still feel the need to post about them (via @ferretwhomst)

#ever since that ford has npd post hit tiktok it was like the world's worst ableists came out to pinpoint every and any of fords flaws #came from npd and his 'narcissism'. narc abuse isn't real STOP IT #then we have the deniers who say he was never abused... hello? (via @firesofdainix)

#<- YEA EXACTLY?? #tbob obviously paints Ford as a victim of manipulation abuse etc.. #but it appears like people have no media literacy anymore.. #either that or they only know the Gravity Falls they've made in their head or something #gf fandom when an abuse victim reacts in a realistic complex way and is traumatized:😡😡😡 #(they only want “perfect victims” and it shows) (via @yourlowkeyidiot3)

#literally I've blocked one billion people and yet there's still more. me when I'm in a victim blaming contest and my opponent is a gravity #falls fan. #clears my throat. anyway. (via @ponyrepress)

#you don’t have to like him but i feel like some of you guys are just grasping at straws atp (via @wesandersonhater)

#i hate tiktok and this tiktok gravity falls Renaissance so fucking bad bc these #dumb stupid braindead takes are EV E R YWHERE ON THERE RN #people aggressively hating ford and calling him irredeemable and the worst person alive as if his literal entire story isnt about redemption #and learning to be a better person and consider those around you more #and that people can change and new generations can break their family cycles #and idk if its starting to leak over to tumblr or if its just naturally coming from both places #but ive also seen some of it on tumblr snd it makes me wanna die #like you do not have to like any character. but saying stuff like that about him is just like...seeing what you want to see in his story #instead of what it actually is (via @putermajigs)

#it's especially bad on tiktok oh ny gosh #don't get me started #like is ford flawed? yes #but maybe can we not say that an abuse victim deserved 'what was coming to him' #like #please #maybe calm down and think rationally for a second (via @scooterscooter)

#hes a flawed man but HE LEARNS AND GROWS FROM THOSE MISTAKES #please im old now #we did this in 2015-6 (via @kastiakbc)

#REAL VRO #he mightve made mistakes byt hes HUMAN yall 😭🙏🏼 #hes flawed and thats what makes his character good and fleshed out imo #he doesn't deserve this SLANDER (via @phone-kisser)

#Genuinely feels like im going insane trying to reason with some of these people #he is flawed!! he is fucked up!! #he is not a horrible person he is not an abuser and he did NOT deserve what happened to him #some of yall also love to paint stan as this little uwu babyboy can do no wrong character while making ford out to be this horrific villain #who ruined his life and i just #i cant with yall #if ur offended by this its about you (via @thendlessfrozenpines)

#who are these people so that i can block them #i swear im going to start throwing hands #can't stand this new wave of ford hate (via @dime-stacker)

…hey guys, can we like…stop hating on ford?? and acting like he’s the worst human being on this planet??? And also stop saying he “got what was coming for him”???? Can we stop that???

Some of this fandom’s takes make me feel like the above (not my drawing)

[commonalex]

Gasoline

I know. I can see it in Mrs. Stella's eyes, in the pakistani guy's eyes while he scratches the gyro instead of cutting it, even the new guy's eyes that he keeps on smiling only because they didn't tell him the gas for the bike is on him. I turn my head for one single moment and I can almost hear the eyeballs rolling on my neck. "What's on Maxim's mind right now" or "will he or will he not talk about it" and "why is Maxim even here in the first place". To be honest, Maxim's not feeling quite self-explanatory right now but he is quite sure that teeth are going to go places if the weird stares keep on popping up.

-Wanna go a bit earlier tonight? You can fill in another day, no biggie, kiddo. If you ain't feeling hundred percent, better let it go and pop up when the time's rig..

Mrs. Stella's mole, upper right from her mouth, kind of trips me out every time. I can't quite make out what she tries to say by whispering with this cigarette-ducked voice of hers. Not that I'm really invested hearing her in the first place, she looks like she could really afford a convo. The pakistani guy over there looks at me kinda frightened and I return to normal mode though. Maybe I really am freaking them out and they're right for being concerned when I'm acting like this, but…

-I'm not going home. My shift's till 3, right? It's not even midnight yet.

-That's not what I said, Maxim. Don't go just because I say it, do it for Victor if you please. You understand?

-That's a topic for another time, Mrs. Stella. Gotta deliver these as long as they're still edible.

I'm pressing the water bottle on my neck for an extra second and throw it back at the fridge. The new guy tries for some chit chat to me, like real smooth and all, just so he can ride to get the delivery himself. He says that the bottle was his, I say I'm a bit sort of fucks at the moment. I'm taking the kebabs and storm outside, straight in hell.

My arms and legs are burning up on the bike and I'm still not far for the plaza. Helmet's our of the question of course, except if you're fond of third degree burns. Only this small hint of wind that drags the sweat off my face makes the ride bearable. Up and down, down and up again, steep uphills and downhills turn my brains upside down on the road and I'm trying as hard as I can to chill until my veins are back beneath my skin. I see the nightlights showering the complexes with a cold shade of yellow and I'm fantasise about the people inside them. Like they're getting melted by the heat like me, even though they are watching tv or porn while eating a bunch of fucking junk as I can hardly swallow water at this point.

I turn the key and spend a minute to look at the name. The label's "Vann", the bell's "Vann" too, all good so far. Been here to get him this stuff a hundred times, he's nothing but a divorced loner and kind of a prick on the first floor that is always up for some conversation. I ring, the entrance opens, I storm upstairs and voilà.

   Here we go again. It's not him. Full dark hair, small nose, tall, green-brown eyes, fucked up teeth and short shorts with a wide ass white tee like a curtain. Like taking a look in the fucking mirror. And it's like the tenth delivery this night? Tenth time I see his ass, looking just like me but not really like me. Last nine times I froze and didn't have the courage to think about it out of fear and cringe, let alone not having the money of the delivery to return back at the tavern. But this went too far. If I'm returning for the tenth time only with some cheap coins and excuses Mrs. Stella will have her reason to nag about me. Like what could you say about this shit in the first place? That you saw a dude that kinda looked like you and got the chills?

-Got the card thingy with you?

I barely nod no. He exhales in frustration and asks for change from a ten. He could flip me upside down and wouldn't find enough to even buy a lollie. I nod again. Again with the exhales. He stressfully throws these dirty ass coins in my hand until I have the 4,40. I'm making my move.

-What a coincidence, right? Makes you crazy. It's like a mirror even.

He just stares at me like I just fucked his day up just by talking to him.

-Are these enough, bro?

-Is Mr. Vann gone from here? You heard where he went or something?

-Oh fuck me, you in for a chit chat man? Really? God.

What the hell.

-I only asked.

-So what? Are we like best friends and I didn't know or something?

The door slams my face with the apartment's awful smell as I'm stuck at picking up the coins that fell to the carpet and battling sweat in a hurry just so I can get back outside and stop myself from thinking about how this fucking clone knows my name.

The route back to the tavern seems stretched in my eyes. I feel the bike like it's sliding backwards and I'm trying to catch up with the lost road in front of me. I take turns in weird streets and stop to look if anything is wrong with my wheels; all good though. Could it be me? Dunno. It just looks so strange to me that each and every one that opens his door before me is that same asshole imitating me and shit. Could it be this cheap expired beer I dared to chugg? Nah, must be the heat. A little bit of inside/outside and you're seeing stars for sure. I mean my fingers keep sticking at the handles for God's sake.

I'm circling the plaza to get the sweat out of me and slip through the back door to bypass the lava coming from the gyro; in vain, of course. Even the boomers that were eating like crazy along with their toddlers on the tables outside have gone with their faces looking like a red traffic light, as the pakistani guy said to me. Just by studying his face I can see that as much as he got scared before, he has nothing but pity for me. I mean look at me. I'm nothing but panda eyes, crazy hair and arms and legs really stick-looking. All that plus the fact that I also have rivers of sweat on my neck right now. Why am I like this?

-Why are you like this?

Mrs. Stella spawns behind the fan only to fuck with me again. It must be a pleasure for her to annoy people jsut so we can see her mole dance and feel the rust in her voice to the bone marrow.

-Again with the coins, what can I do? They all want to swipe their cards now.

-Go home, kiddo, take a shower and lay down. We have much more things to worry than you. Do you think we are wanna check on you?

-Yeah man, she's right, Maxim.

Someone remind me when I deliver the next patch to make a call at the missing persons line because for hours we can't find who the fuck gave the new guy the right to get in my shit. I did has my chance with him in private though and explained him crystal clear to stay out of my shit. You know, with logical thinking and maybe threats. Mostly threats I think. Maybe at some point I might have said I have Russian mob ties, gambling on the fact that he might didn't find out that I'm really Ukrainian yet.

-I only need some air. It's like an oven in here.

I really tried to follow Mrs. Stella this time. But because of the mole and the new guy tag teaming on busying my balls I got knocked out. I could listen more enjoyably and clearly the fan spinning around above me than her and her sidekick. I only made out a small chunk of what she spilled.

-And please, take off what you're wearing. Put your own clothes again please.

-Ain't those mine too?

-No. They're Victor's.

Times like this I wish I wasn't so socially incapable to be so shy about asking again the pakistani guy's name again. It would make things so less awkward when I was trying to ask him for the next order. Maybe even less awkward if I hadn't had Mrs. Stella reaching New heights with her raspy voice while I was leaving again.

Of course this all storming out shit caught up to me. I've never seen this street in my life. Could be Mrs. Stella have her pathetic tavern on the Internet order sites to get deliveries across the fucking milky way? But now that I'm thinking about it she's answering the phone every time she gets a text message.

Google maps says 12 kilometers and I'm cursing every saint in existence. All the money that didn't get down the drain thanks to that imposter dude will get down the drain for gasoline. I'm steering and get through streets I normally wouldn't cross even with a bloody tank just to save 2 or so minutes from the route. I pick my head up and feel the breeze cuddling my neck and chest. Finally. Traffic's at an all time low and I really can step in the gas a bit but the heatwave growing arms and legs and all runs behind me. When I get off and go to the apartment building's entrance, heat already caught up to me.

I'm pausing. Name on the bell Al-Jirarddlosomething, the same at the order; and no I won't even begin to try to pronounce this thing. I ring, the entrance opens in 3 secs and enough roaches storm out for a 5 on 5 basketball game, bench included.

I'm hearing traction and voices behind the door, something like that, but I really wanna stick my ear to hear what's going on. Of course this is the time the guy opens up. Or the girl, you don't know.

-So now you found the house, vro? Now that I'm showering?

But you do know.

Same outfit minus the sweatiness, same face, same attitude, same me for up to like 90% percent. And I don't want to be that guy, but I really don't think this is the Al-Jiriarlasomethjng guy. Maybe for a prick.

-9,60.

-What about the coke?

-It's in there, ain't it?

-Take a wild guess.

-Didn't you ask for a bottle?

-Can. I asked for a can. Why would I want a bottle? Where could I put it?

Take a wild guess.

No, I'm joking. I paid for the bottle thing. It wasn't his fault. He asks me full offended why would I pay for him.

-Well, you don't find your long lost twin every day, ha ha. Maxim, and yours?

-All fucking around and saying shit, ah Maxim? Aren't you bored of this already? Good lord.

I think I need to learn how to make friends again.

Gasoline’s is nearly gone, the route I took got lost inside my head as I zig zagging between the buildings and the road is nothing but tar right now with me boiling in it. Still no cars around, though. It's only July and the neighborhood got deserted. It's now so quiet the noise from the engine hits the buildings and bounces back to my eardrums. I'm dizzy as hell right now.

I'm swimming back at the plaza. Outside there are only two tables stuck together with broke and boozed up Airbnb tourists that share fucking french fries and kebabs as two old folks take their dog out for a walk, right beside them. How miserable. Like I know the neighborhood is dead, little by little each day, but tonight you car really feel the death and rotting right up your nostrils. As if something so tragic happened that no one has the courage to address it loudly. Like they're all busy trying to catch a unicorn or something, just to keep their heads off the despair.

-You're not getting it, do you?

I don't have the energy to do this conversation again. Nothing new will be said. If I could I would just stare at Mrs. Stella until she can finally take a fucking hint that I could not care less about what she's been trying to talk about all night with me.

-Forgive me for doing the job you're paying me to do. Not gonna happen again.

-Believe it or not, but as long as you are here you're like my son to me. Even if you're Ukrainian, doesn't matter.

I'm looking sideways like a shark at the pakistani guy that plays with his phone and I want to burst laughing. Dunno exactly why. Maybe because I can't picture her talking the same thing to him. I'm not saying she's racist, I'm saying that she's really focused with me right now that is getting ridiculous. And that she is kind of racist.

-I don't get where this conversation goes. All I know is that I don't wanna do it.

-I do.

Isn't democracy great.

-Where's the new guy at?

-Gone. He wanted to bounce and I just let him go. Maybe cause that's a shit job, maybe cause you were acting like an asshole. Who knows?

-What can I say. I'm sorry.

-You are not sorry. That's exactly what you wanted.

-I don't get it.

-Oh you get it alright. Tell me, you really believe that something bad is going to happen if someone takes Victor's work? As if something bad is going to happen.

I don't want this. I don't need this.

-This is way over the line.

-What can I do to help you? People look at you and you just look back at them like they just called you a hoe. "It will pass" I though, "he's going to rest his head a bit and get right back at his feet". But nothing. It's like you enjoy all this. Being kinda like sick. Just like today, damn; you keep on popping back in there with a different color on your face.

-Ok..

-And then I get the new guy I here and you turn to a complete ass of yourself. As if no one's gets to Victor's place equals that nothing have ever happened. Do you seriously believe that? Answer me, because it seems like I can't make you go home.

-You're right.

And her mole rides a bitter smile of assurance. It was kind of spectacular. Too bad it didn't last long when she saw me catching the last order on my way out. I'm outside and still can feel her cigarette breath on my back.

I'm rolling to the gas station two blocks away and spill my last money for three drops. Worth it, though, if this means getting away from my boss's lecture again. I'm rolling my last cig waiting for a car or something to cross the boulevard. Something that indicates that there's still life and pulse here. I'm waiting until my fingers get toasted, no one. I'm turn the key and fly away. I can't just stand doing nothing; doing nothing makes me think of this kind of shit and nothing good comes out of that.

Distance? A fuck lot. Buildings get unfamiliar quite fast and I'm down this straight line for god know how much time but the gas indicator is still stuck a 1/3. Complexes seven to eight floors high, gardens, yards and a scent of sea salt coming from somewhere near. Did I really get that far south?

Τhe street has the name of an ancient guy with so many syllables even his momma had a hard time calling him, while the number of the address was at a large concrete war crime of nine floors. The fluorescent Bell had one of those weird new female names like Mirtianna or Christian the and that shit with an "astrology" sticked at the end. Of course I got ringed instantly. I getting to the elevator for the ninth floor and try to pick my words for him. I know he's gonna be there, I just need some answers. But how do you start a convo about that? Well, I'm lucky I didn't start it.

-What kind of bullshit is this you're telling her? Did she do you wrong?

I'm trying to read his face. There's not much emotion there, only a small frustration and some eagerness to shut the door right up my face again.

-Well, you could say that.

-Nonsense. You’re just being Maxim again. Spoiled and dumb Maxim. As always.

-Alright. It’s 7,90.

-She’s right, you know. You kinda into all of this. As far as it goes your way, at least. After that you just continue where you left.

-Ok. 7,90. I need to return back money, right?

-Stop wasting time trying to catch unicorns, bro. It’s fine, it’ll pass, you don’t need to follow me around all the time. I mean I’m gone.

What. Is. Happening.

-Oh I’m following you? You just keep popping up in front of me.

-That’s not how it works, Maxim. You feel alone, I get that. But that doesn’t make it ok acting like a dumbass.

-7,90.

-If there’s a problem, at least try to tackle it. Don’t wait for it to go away with your eyes closed.

-Nice to see you, Victor.

I almost tripped on my way down. I got vertigo and chills on my spine for no real reason whilst the scent of the sea from here burns my lungs. I got to get out of here. I got to go back.

With the dizziness in my head I have everything around me move and vibrate the same time the bike barely slides down the road. I can actually catch up with my eyes the buildings rotate around themselves like bolts, the balconies of the apartments wide open with the blueish light of a tv on shining like a projector outside, the yellow stars above me getting bigger and bigger until they turn to street lights. It’s like the world is running down my feet.

I’m processing the things he said to me tonight. I don’t care if he is or isn’t Victor, I only want to understand why is all this happening. I knew that it wouldn’t make much sense for everyone else at the beginning but now I have a difficult time making some of it too. The only thing I seem to achieved tonight was to turn my brains to mush and make things actually harder for me just cause I wanted to get involved to this. All night went to the trash bin because I had the curiosity fucking up my head about understanding what’s happening when in reality nothing matters to me anymore. Why? I don’t know. Because I might really love being like this after all and fucking up my head all on my own like a psycho.

I have no idea how to end all this. Maybe this isn’t as important, though. Like maybe I might be back home right now watching nickelodeon shows until I doze off. Or maybe I have some sort of something and have to go to the doctor; any doctor. Whatever it needs, I don’t care, I’ll go first thing tomorrow. If there’s a problem I’ll try to tackle it. I can’t wait for it to go way with my eyes clo-

Dunno how it happened. I can make out the branches of the trees on the plaza and a silver jeep beast blinding me with its lights. Gasoline is raining on my head I can feel the clatter of people into my ear. They shout and yell above me with their throats clogged in tar; don’t understand a word of them. I’m thirty meters at worst from the tavern and Mrs. Stella is looking me shocked with her mole chilling over the big O that she forms with her mouth. The pakistani guy drags me beside yelling “HEY HEY MAXIM HEY, ZAMEER”. I don’t know if I can feel anything belloc my neck but I’m definitely happy with myself for finding out his name again at last so I wouldn't have to hold that grudge. It’s something. Something small that maybe make me look less ridiculous, stupid and useless that I got hit by a car and going to die at the same exact spot my twin brother died, only a week later.