#stop having a fixed unrealistic definition of closet

[ladychlo]

:D

[butlersbabe]

austin butler x reader– cloud nine

an: hi! i’m so sorry i’ve been kinda flaky on writing. i hope this pleases you bc i just barely got it done before 4am. anyways, this contains smut so minors DNI!!

warnings: smut? use of marijuana. that’s abt it.

words: 2.9k

The sound of cars passing, trucks honking and people hollering all kinds of things filled your room. You left your window open, it made you feel more connected to the outside world. Tomorrow's your day off, so you were geared up to treat yourself to whatever you pleased for the next twenty-four hours. You didn't have much on your mind since you'd been using your tired brain all day at your job that was just a shy of a block away.

On your way home, you stopped at the local dispensary. The employee who usually helped you let you know your favorite strain was back in stock, Pineapple Express. So of course, he hooked you up with a good deal since you'd went a while without it. And you made your way home. So here you are. At home, on the bed, deciding when you should dig into your new possession.

Just when the world could get any darker due to your eyes closing, nodding off from absolute boredom and exhaustion, your phone buzzed. It was Austin. You smiled at the screen, you hate that he made you do that but you kind of loved it.

Austin and you met through a mutual friend about two months ago. She said that she’d heard he has dick that would “make you see stars” or something like that. You didn’t care about that just yet. You wanted to know him. And you were getting to. You weren't quite dating yet but he was yours, you were his. The two of you had only hung out a handful of times, one or twice at your apartment and once or twice at his. You guys haven't even kissed. That didn't mean he didn't make you nervous still. A guy as popular, well, famous, as Austin should be hanging out around you. He should be with some girl who did more than just go to work and pay taxes. The situation was odd. But you more than liked it.

"Hey :)"

He'd mentioned that he was going to text you after his interview or something like that. Austin never let his promises fall through. This was turning out to be something you figured you wouldn't regret. He was sweet, loyal, one of those "too good to be true" kind of things. As long as you did your part, this may be a good deal.

"Hi there!" You reply.

You two ask about each other's day, what you did, what you both ate. And soon enough, you were on the question you knew was coming along. He asked if he could come over? Of course you wanted him to, but your apartment wasn't clean at all, you weren't motivated to clean it but you knew it had to be done. "Of course!" You reply, sending it with hesitation. Quickly, you type up another message reading, "See you in about an hour?" You really hoped he'd agree because you definitely didn't have the apartment looking presentable.

"An hour. I'll be there."

It was settled, he'd be here in an hour.

You quickly hop up from you spot on your bed. And get up, speedily stripping away your waitress uniform leaving you in sweaty undergarments. Flinging those off your body, you take the fastest shower you've ever taken, shaving just in case anything happens. But why would it? The two of you haven't even kissed, my held hands but that was it. Hopping out and drying off, you threw on something comfortable and left your damp hair to do what it wanted while you cleaned.

Your room was the easiest, throw everything in the hamper, straighten up your vanity, close the closet door. Kitchen was already pretty clean, so was the bathroom. You fixed the living room up, you only had a couple things on the floor and some cups on the coffee table. You throw those in the sink and then you were done. It wasn't much. But it was cleanish and your job was done. You should set unrealistic standards for yourself, honestly.

Walking back into your room, you looked at your phone and notice only about 45 minutes have passed. That left you 15 minutes for absolutely nothing. You wandered back to the side of your bed closet to your window and sat next to your little black cup of weed. Popping it open, you let the aroma fill your nose. You sit it on your night stand and open the drawer and pull out a book of little, white rolling papers and pluck one from the stack. Sprinkling your weed into the paper, you check the time again. You have plenty of time to smoke before he got here. Finishing the joint, you take it outside the opened window, a lighter and ashtray already found a home there on your spacious window sill, leaving your phone inside.

Lighting the stick up, you cover the flame from any lingering breezes. Thank god the shop had this stuff, otherwise, you would probably be smoking some trash Reggie that you only bought because you didn't feel like spending a lot of coin on anything else. Once the soft orangey glow formed at the end of your joint, you tossed the lighter back into the tray.

You take a puff or two before giving yourself a breather. Your leg shakes with anticipation, you hoped Austin wouldn't have a problem with this. You'll eventually tell him at some point but you didn't really know how to ask him about it. It wasn't even a sensitive subject to you, you just couldn't imagine the immense embarrassment that would run through your body had he found out and was indefinitely against it.

You take another drag and let the smoke fall from your freshly chap-sticked lips. You could feel your body begin to numb and thoughts become a little fuzzy. You worries were being whisked away. This feeling was one you never wanted to get rid of.

"Y/N?"

Shit. Austin. She must've left the door unlocked or something. But he was here and she was smoking this strong substance.

You turn around the top half of your body around and sheepishly smile at him. "Hey, Aus." Aus? Really??

Austin was dressed in a black jacket and jeans with some expensive designer shoe on. He stepped closer and looked at you and studied what your were in the middle of.

"Whatcha doing?" His husky voice asks, as he makes his way outside with you, placing himself between your and the stairs to then next floor. "Ah," You couldn't lie now, you were caught green handed. "I'm just smoking. Helps we chill out and have a good time. Just makes me feel good." You answered honestly. Austin nods, and looks at the white roll in between your index finger and thumb.

"Could I have some?"

Your head snaps towards him in shock. You didn't think he smoked.

"You smoke?" You asked, puzzled in regards to what the blonde boy said.

"Well. I- I haven't-"

He stopped himself before he could fumble over anymore words and spoke his next words coyly.

"No, I don't usually. I haven't in a good while."

You were overly relieved to say the least. "Um, then, sure. Don't inhale too-" You speak while handing him the joint but don't get your last word out before he begins to suck on the stick. You let him continue until he lets off and starts to cough up a lung. You give a slight chuckle and pat his back to help loosen his chest up. "Damn, Austin." You shake your head and ask if he's okay and he responds by taking another hit but not as deep. He still struggles to inhale again but does it, surely.

"Here, give me that back." You say taking the joint away. "Open your mouth." You ordered, holding his jaw with your free hand. You take a long drag and then pucker your lips to blow the smoke into his mouth. "Now inhale." And he does so, no near as much coughing as he had done just minutes earlier. You let go of his face and take a hit for yourself. Then give the joint back to Austin. "Go easy on it." You tell him.

Soon enough you're both left with a stinger abc you toss that into the ashtray with the rest of your joint butts. You both step back into your room, lavender and weed now have become the codependent smells. The city become too loud for you so closing the window was a move you had to make before taking Austin to sit on the bed. You can tell he's feeling warm and fuzzy. "How you doing?"

He turns to you with a big grin and glossy, red eyes and sits for a slight second before laughing at the question which set you off as well. The cackles ring through the room and down the hall. You two were pretty high. You both look at each other after the giggle fit and decide it's time to go get a snack.

You got up and asked him, "Hey, you hungry?" And he shakes his head. You take off to the kitchen and grab a pack of pepperoni pizza bagel bites, your personal favorite post smoke sesh snacks. He followed you around the kitchenette like a lost puppy, his hand on your waist, your hand is his, or his head laying on your shoulder at almost all times. You didn't quite mind this though. It was kinda cute.

"Y/N." Austin whined to you during the only split second his wasn't skin-to-skin with you. You scoffed, sarcastically and went over to him, his lanky arms enveloping you.

As soon as they were done, you transferred them to a plate and took it to your bedroom for you two to chill out and eat. You both devour the snack food and place the plate to the side, freeing up room on the mattress.

"Austin." You giggle.

"Y/N." He chortles back.

"I'm so high." And it was like you said the funniest thing on earth. The bed shook just from you two howling in laughter at absolutely nothing. Austin then listened to you ramble about countless conspiracy theories and "what-if's." He was stunned by what you were saying and kept out of the talking.

"So if a robber didn't break in-"

"I'm telling you, it was the brother!"

The two of you sat on the ground, Austin playing with your fingers. He looks up to you, he surveys your face, and hums. “You’re so pretty.” And of course, you thank him. He begins to lean in and you quickly change the subject to another thing, something about the Mandela Effect.

An hour or so had passed and you both were still settled into your highs. On the bed, you now sat face to face, his arm across your waist, pulling your body into his. Only the light from the window and the bright moon filled your room. That was just enough to see his immaculate features. You studied him, his beautiful face and all. The blue eyes, the blond hair. Everything. He was so beautiful, and not just because your were still in the middle of a tingling high.

"I like you a lot." He says hushed.

You were a bit taken aback but you grinned. "I like you a lot too."

Pulling your body in more, as if it you two could get any closer, he moves his face towards yours. "Can I kiss you?" And you nod shyly. Your eyes close. Your lips finally touched. No fireworks or anything like that but instead a feeling of something indescribable. You take your free hand and caress his soft face. Austin moans through the kiss, his crotch searching for any friction.

You break away from the kiss and push him to laying on his back. Throwing a leg over his waist, you straddle his waist. Your lips attach to his neck, sucking a couple, well a few marks onto his tan skin. His large, veiny, hands grip your ass, moving your hips across his hardening dick in his pants. You grew wetter by the second, hearing him moan with sexual hunger. "Fuck, Y/N." He whimpers. He was shuddering under your touch, completely encapsulated by the feeling of your heat pressed against his. You pull at his shirt, letting him know you were ready to discard the garment, you doing the same to yourself, leaving you in your beautiful skin and that only.

"You're excited, aren't you, baby?" You ask, sitting up and rolling your hips against his. He makes a sound too sweet for this world and you stop, knowing what you wanted your next move to be. Slipping down to where you sat in between his legs. Your fingers undo his belt, the button on his jeans then the zipper. You tug down his jeans and boxers letting his cock fling out from his boxers and slap his quickly rising and lowering stomach. His tip was already shiny and slick with pre-cum. You smiled at the sight, pulling his jeans the rest of the way off of his legs. Seeing Austin like this made you want to melt. His hungry eyes were yearning for your touch.

You sat on your knees between his running your nails down his thighs. Slowly, you lower your face to the head of his penis, lick a wet stripe up the length of it and take it into your mouth. He lets out a throaty moan, head dropping onto the pillows beneath his head. You bob up and down, focusing on tip. He let out some of the most heavenly moans you’ve heard tangled up with profanities. You’re so enthralled by the way he sounded and looked. Your tongue swirls and his hips buck to hopefully feel more of the feeling he was receiving. You let go of his dick with a wet pop and take his length into your hand. Still moist with saliva, you start to jerk him off. You run your hand up and down the most sensitive part of his dick, keeping a steady pace, slow enough to drive a man crazy.

“Fuck, y/n.” He pants, sitting up to get a better look at what your were doing to him, his eyes still lazy and red. You made him go wild with the teasing. His legs shook, sensitive to the touch most likely due to the high he was having. Austin was getting more eager to fuck you with each passing stroke.

“Feel good, baby?” You taunt him.

He had had enough at this point. Pushing you back, you land with your head just barely missing the edge of the bed. He pulls your legs from under you and peels your sweats from your legs, taking your underwear with them. Austin positions his face between your legs and begins to suck on your thighs, leaving deep purple marks. One, then two, and a third on the other. You could feel his warm breath on your wet pussy. He was making you rethink teasing him.

“Austin-“ You choke out, gripping his blonde locks. “P-Please, fuck.”

He didn’t hesitate to put his tongue in between your folds. Only kitten licks were given to your fragile clit. Austin wanted to make you break. You feel two fingers play at your hole, soon after thrusting in and out as the licks got more intense. A groan from your chest was released, letting Austin know he was doing a good job. “Oh my fucking god.” You manage to breathe out. Austin begins lapping at your clit giving you the most euphoric feeling you’ve felt in a good while.

“Shit, Austin, I’m so fucking close-“ Your legs close on his head as you cum,

You give him a hazy look and he smiles, spreading your legs a bit further. He started to find his way between your legs, keeping eye contact the whole time he lines himself up with you. Pushing in, you gasp at his girth. You both moan in sync, the feeling of being one for the first time was a good one. Even better than you’d initially thought it’d be.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, baby. I could fuck you all night.”

He spends no time waiting to start pumping in and out of your wetness. You wrap your arms around his back, legs propped up and splayed as far as they possibly could. The sound of both of your pleased senses and skin meeting skin continuously fills the room.

You feel his cock hitting your g-spot and you start to lose control of your body, nails scratching at his back. You felt the his breathing pick up signaling his climax coming soon. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum again, Austin.”

You gasp, clenching you walls around his dick. He keeps fucking into you, your g-spot repeatedly being hit. “Don’t cum yet, baby. Cum with me. I’m so fucking close.”

You felt as if you could let go at any moment, he strokes a few more times before his panting hitches, “Oh my god.” He slurs, you both let out moans to surely be heard by your neighbors. You cum and grasp his bicep, hoping something would keep you steady. He pulls out and cums onto your stomach. “Goddamn, y/n.”

You laid there, chest rising in short breaths. He reaches for a towel hanging out of your hamper and cleans you up, himself, then wipes himself off.

“You wanna go take a shower?” You ask. And he nods, taking your hand before the two of you run off to the bathroom.

[takaraphoenix]

Ship game!! What about Nico and Will?? It’s pretty popular, but I don’t think I’ve seen you write much of it…

That's an interesting one in that I have vocalized my reasons for disliking it way back when it first became popular but instead of just linking that, it has been years so I think it's time for an updated version.

Firstly: This post is gonna be properly tagged and not crosstagged so if any shipper comes across it and feels the need to bitch about it, just don't; your lack of curating your own tumblr experience is not my problem! ;D

Now, there are three key factors that play into my dislike of this ship: How it was written, what it represents, how the fandom around it acts.

1. It’s rushed and uncomfortable

In BoO, it was incredibly rushed. They had literally five sentences of interactions before they walked into the literal sunset together. Five. It was just entirely born from Riordan's Noah's Ark Complex, where he just can't let people be single. The series was ending and he needed Nico to have an endgame so he rushed into some random romance with zero build-up.

The way their interactions went down was also severely uncomfortable for me. Will was acting so offended by Nico not wanting to go to camp and be friends in an entitled way that he had no right to be, he downright guilt-tripped Nico about how he had wanted to be friends. Nico has been just so severely traumatized at such a young age and his coping mechanism, as unhealthy as it was, was to run away and hide. Will acted like Nico not wanting to form attachments to people who could potentially leave him again was somehow just an Edgy Emo Decision and not a direct reaction to his trauma. His entire approach to Nico was basically all these hippie posts of "Don't have depression!! Just go out into the sun and stop being depressed!", which is already a bad take with non-medical people but he's supposed to be a doctor (and let's not get into the shadiness of him technically being Nico's doctor).

There is also an inherent "I can fix him" angle to this ship and to me, only few ship dynamics are more uncomfortable than that. If you want to fundamentally change a person's behavior and personality, you... don't actually want to be with this person.

Now, here's where my points overlap, because the following parts of their writing that bothers me also stand for what this ship fundamentally represents.

2. Solangelo is a queer ship written by and for straights

I'm a queer woman and as a queer woman, I want queer wish-fulfillment, not what straights want out of queerness. I'm kind of tired of that, I've been sitting through it for enough decades now. That's, of course, not to say that no straight writer can give proper queer representation, but far too often do straight writers - even the most well-meaning ones - project straight desires of queerness into their queer representation.

Let me explain that closer through this ship.

Nico's been in love with Percy for years and I'm going to do my best to not hijack this post with some Percico agenda; that's not what this his about, this isn't some "my ship is better than your ship" ship-war nonsense. It's simply a canonical fact that Nico has had romantic feelings for another character for years.

A character who, in this medium, is heterosexual. And if you're queer, you've been there. In love with your straight best friend. It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason.

We have also all been well-meaningly rejected by said straight friend.

And here's the straight desires for you: The queer person who was in love with a straight person just immediately stops having those feelings and will then as quickly as possible fall in love with the next queer person they meet to be happy and no longer uncomfortably in love with a straight person, because that thought makes the straights uncomfortable.

Queer wish-fulfillment would be for Percy to return those feelings, for the queer character to get his first love, to not be rejected. That thing queer teens always dreamed about for themselves.

Aside from the wish-fulfillment angle, the pacing is another problem. Let me repeat, Nico was in love for years. But a five sentence conversation with Will once causes a crush on Will and we see him physically turn away from Percy and toward Will just immediately to rebound and actually fall out of love with Percy and in love with Will. Anyone who's ever been unlucky in love will attest to just how unrealistic and ridiculous the pacing here is.

It's also straight queerness in another respect; Nico has been the first ever queer character we meet in that world. He loves a straight guy - and to get over that, we introduce the second queer character. Because heaven forbid there are multiple queers to pick from. No, in straight-written queer romances, there is always that one main queer and then they introduce a second one and the two just immediately hit it off and develop a romance like all a queer person needs to form attraction to someone is the confirmation that the other person shares your sexuality.

Also the notable gay guy on gay guy ship here, whereas the more queer-wish-fulfillment option would have also included more nuance to the queer experience, because Percy doesn't have to be heterosexual just because he has only been with girls so far. It's a very old-fashioned - think 90s and early 2000s - kind of straight-written queerness that there are only exactly two homosexuals and that those two homosexuals then pair up.

And, listen, I'm not immune to these outdated straight-written queers entirely, I have many such ships that I grew up with that I am still fond of because they were groundbreaking at that time and they weren't outdated yet back when they happened in said 90s and early 2000s. I am however a grown woman now and just like I have grown, so has queer rep so I am not as easily baited into falling onto my knees in gratitude for canon rep. You have to go with the times. And this ship, by all that is given to us, is just entirely outdated straight-written rep.

Which, I mention earlier that even straight-written rep can be good. If the author tries. Riordan doesn't really try though; he does the bare minimum when he writes any of his rep - and there have been many, many more qualified voices being very vocal about his depiction of people of color and, as a woman, I've been vocal about his depiction of women. I don't want to derail this post with all of that, but I do think that it bears mentioning that Riordan doing rep but only doing a bare minimum and not putting in the necessary work to deepen the representation he wants to give is a repeating pattern that has been pointed out many times by now.

(I’d also like to point out that no, it is not just the ship and not just the listed instances that make it straight-written rep for straights. It’s Nico’s entire queer arc, starting with his forced coming out. A severely traumatizing event that is completely brushed over because the straight author doesn’t understand the impact this has on queer people. Not to mention the framework; Nico’s coming out isn’t Nico’s story, it happens in Jason’s POV, it is given to us through the POV of the straight bystander who gets to be Best Ally by assuring Nico that being gay is okay. This kind of coming out is not a queer wish-fulfillment, it’s a straight wish-fulfillment of getting to be the straight savior, the ally to show the gay the light of acceptance. And, additional to the ridiculous pacing of how fast Nico gets over his love for Percy, Nico also gets over years of internalized homophobia just because of, I don’t know, Jason’s few encouraging words and the fact that Will paid attention to him? For a gay kid who was in the closet all his life, the nonchalant way in which he publicly confessed his crush to Percy at the end made absolutely no sense and was written as basically a joke, finished off with Nico literally high-fiving Percy’s girlfriend despite those two never having seen eye to eye before but this is straight wish-fulfillment so all straights are Super Allies, because that’s the way straights want to see themselves, even though Annabeth has shown before just how jealous she can be and she most definitely wouldn’t go around high-fiving people who confess to her boyfriend. Nothing about Nico’s queer arc in HoO felt natural or queer or satisfying.)

Sure, Solangelo on a surface level is big because it's a canon queer couple in a YA book-series and kudos for that and yay for the kids who get to grow up seeing queers in YA books, but I actually do think that kids growing up with books written in the 2010s shouldn't grow up with 1990s levels of representation, because the 2010s overall are actually at a far more nuanced and better level of representation when it comes to queerness. And I do reserve the right to quit on too straight-written and too outdated queer rep in a landscape where I can get more satisfying representation elsewhere; we don’t live in times anymore where you necessarily have to love every bit of rep because it’s the only one you get.

Now that we've gone through my first two gripes, let's wrap this up with the final point, because it also directly ties into this.

3. The new wave of antis hiding behind this ship

A huge part of the fandom is so busy kissing Riordan's ass solely for giving them queer rep at all they think that both the author and the ship are beyond flawless and that kind of attitude is not good. Just because an author includes rep doesn't make either perfect. Absolutely no one is beyond critique - especially not when said critique comes from the very people the author is representing. And even beyond any "valid" critique on the ship, quite frankly, someone should also be allowed to just not like it, without any reasons given at all.

But there is a certain... protective obsessiveness about this ship that doesn't allow a not liking. Very similar to how PJO bore this mindset around Perc/abeth already. It's okay to have OTPs, even OTPs that you have a blindspot for and just don't want to see any flaws in. It is however not okay to then go around attacking people who don't like the thing and mind their own business.

Solangelo's bred a new generation of antis in this fandom. And, particularly with the fact that this post too receives an "anti" tag, I feel like there needs to be a clarification (because tumblr likes to forget what actually makes an anti). Not liking something doesn't make you an anti, venting in properly tagged posts doesn't either; it's the people who harass others, who seek out the content they dislike to then complain that it even exists and who actively try to make others stop creating for it - those are antis.

And with Solangelo's popularity, there was a high rise in Percico antis, who sought it out, were unnecessarily nasty about it, harrassed creators and tried to enforce some kind of "Solangelo supremacy" that won't allow other ships for the characters.

I've been in fandom long enough to be perfectly aware that not all Solangelo shippers count into this category and that there are completely normal and nice Solangelo shippers, but this is a Venn diagram where the overlap between Solangelo shippers and antis is too large to not widely associate the nasty people with the ship itself. (I've been there myself, shipping the very ship behind which a fandom's antis all hid. The second-hand embarrassment of having these people give the ship a bad name is horrendous and I do feel bad for all the normal Solangelo shippers.)

The more often I encountered these people, who made Percico bad (sometimes in wildly ridiculous manners that bent and deliberately misinterpreted canon) and who in the same breath praised Solangelo high, the more tired I grew of that ship. It's a simple game of association, really. You see that linked to the gross and nasty behavior and you start associating the ship itself with that gross and nasty behavior - and with all the things I said before that already weighed into my dislike of the ship, this just was the final tipping point, really.

And that's it. That sums up why I dislike Solangelo. It was hastily rushed, uncomfortable in its execution, it is outdated rep that very much feels as straight-written as it factually is and it does not feel aimed at me as a queer person but rather at the straight audience and it has gathered a cult following of quite uncomfortable people who on their own would be reason enough to avoid it so you can avoid them.

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

[deadlyanddelicate]

if it’s too broke, don’t fix it

so let’s be clear about one thing.

i will be writing fix-it content for the way supernatural ended, because guess what, honk honk!! i’m a clown 🤡 and as it turns out when you spend your formative coming-out-of-the-closet years invested in TV’s longest queerbait, it’s not so easy to just stop caring. go figure.

but i will not be writing fix-it for 15x20, for a simple reason: to me, it’s unfixable.

look. i am more or less convinced by this point - by looking at the internal narrative, the meta analyses, the reactions of the various cast and crew, and behind-the-scenes evidence compiled by fans far more dedicated and detail-oriented than i - that some executive fuckery happened to the ending. nothing else makes sense, nothing else explains an episode that surreally bad, nothing else explains why the run time was so much shorter than usual and why the pacing felt so clunky and stilted, if not last-minute cuts. so, sure. i’m on board. the network got cold feet and decided to axe whatever destiel content the writers may have worked in (probably too little and too late, but that’s by the by). i can even believe they had a hand in the disappearance of eileen - a long-standing love interest, a deaf character, and of course, most importantly, a woman, from the final two episodes, because everything has to be about the brodependency, of course, of course.

however, even if you take into account the possible/very likely “no homo” revisions, you’re still left... with the rest of the episode. you’re still left with dean winchester - a character overwhelmingly read as bisexual, an abuse survivor, the poster child for PTSD both mundane and supernatural (no pun intended)... dying young on a random hunt. and this wasn’t the result of last-minute executive meddling: this was the plan from the start of season 15, and it’s why jensen struggled so much last year with accepting the finale (rather than any ~homophobic feelings~ about 15x18, which he only got the script for a couple months in advance and was reportedly completely fine with). and sure, there’s a chance executives may have had a hand in that too, but at the moment we have no evidence to believe so.

dean started the series as a traumatized kid who’s been turned into a weapon by a physically and emotionally absent father, an unforgiving and unloving man who raised him to believe his only purpose in life was to look after his younger sibling, whether that meant saving him or killing him. dean was parentified from at least as young as the age of 8, left to do the physical and emotional labour his father should have been doing for both him and sam. dean spent much of the series borderline suicidal, believing he had no intrinsic worth beyond what he could sacrifice to keep others safe. dean spent much of the series believing he would always die young and bloody, that sam was the only one of the two of them who would get to live a full life. 

and the show decided to end by confirming all of that, by killing dean off as soon as he’d finally found freedom from destiny. and not even in a blaze of glory for some higher purpose, no-- he was killed off on a random case in what i’m sure some writer felt was a delightful example of ~tragic irony~. well, guess what? i’m not laughing. you lead viewers on an emotional journey for 15 years, they’re going to want catharsis at the end. this? this was the opposite of catharsis. i don’t know if there is an opposite of catharsis, but the internet suggests defilement (probably a good enough translation of the greek miasma) and that feels about right.

and that kind of defilement doesn’t serve the story, either-- because dean spent the later seasons coming to accept that maybe he could have a happy ending, that maybe he did deserve to retire, to enjoy his life, to finally rest - and he definitely didn’t mean rest in peace. the narrative led us on this journey of seeing an abused, PTSD-crippled character start to want more for himself - only to rip all that out from under him in the name of misguided ~high stakes drama. probably because happy endings for everyone are boring and cliché’d and having a ~shocking conclusion is better than having a good conclusion (s/o GOT finale). growth? healing? coming to see yourself in a better light and demanding more for yourself? unrealistic.

well, miss me with that shit. as a bisexual person who took a long time to come to terms with my identity, as an eldest daughter, as someone who deeply believes in the narrative idea of humanity trying and trying and trying until they finally reach happiness - fucking miss me with that gratuitous tragedy shit. i want soft epilogues. i want endings tied with a ribbon. i think we - especially the queer community, especially women, especially people who’ve struggled with low self worth and mental health - deserve it by now.

so, you see, it’s not so much that i can’t write a fix-it for 15x20. in fact, it would be simple enough to do - tragedy is easy to spin into emotional content. which i promise is not a dig at people writing or enjoying that kind of content, because i’ve read some myself, and it has been excellent; more power to you all. all i’m saying is it would be easy enough to write dean getting to heaven and seeing jimmy novak castiel in that roadhouse, whether or not kansas is playing. it would be easy enough to write dean driving to cas and them meeting under a starry sky, ‘the night we met’ playing in the background as it was originally meant to in 15x20, and to imagine them having a tearful, bittersweet, at least we finally have each other reunion. 

the truth is that i won’t. i refuse to. even if i believe that the writers would have given us a destiel endgame if not for executive interference - and that still remains to be definitively seen - it’s not the endgame i would have wanted. it’s not the endgame we deserve after 15 fucking years.

queer characters shouldn’t have to die for the right to be happy. we deserve a soft epilogue - and i’ll write my own, damn it.

[darisu-chan]

whatever our souls are made of (his and mine are the same), pt. 21

Hi!

Welcome back!

Hope you guys like this one-shot too.

You can also read it here.

See ya!

i’ll be there to hold you in the dark

Prompt: supernatural

 Summary: Ichigo and Rukia watch a horror movie. What could go wrong?

There are many things that Rukia adores about the human world.

 From juice boxes to video games to, very recently, social media.

 And Ichigo enjoys showing her every single one of them.

 He particularly delights in watching her face light up each time she discovers something new.

 But, of course, there are some human things that Rukia likes more than others.

 Movies are one of them.

 With Yuzu she has watched several animated and romantic movies.

 He and Karin tend to prefer action films or comedies, and Rukia sits and watches them too.

 They have tried to watch several genres.

 Even dramas and tear jerkers.

 But there is one genre that they haven’t explored yet.

 Horror films.

 And it is not that Ichigo dislikes them.

 He just doesn’t care for them.

 Honestly, when you’ve been able to see spirits from a young age and when you’ve fought several battles against Hollows, Quincy and other Shinigami, they just aren’t very scary.

 He never would have thought Rukia would enjoy them anyway.

 After all, as a spirit herself, she’d probably find them unrealistic or insulting even.

 So, he’s never showed them to her.

 That is, until now.

 It is a Saturday and it is sunny outside.

 They’ve been out all day.

 First they strolled in the park, then they ate burgers in the mall.

 Somehow they ended up in front of the cinema.

 “Ichigo! Let’s watch a movie!” She says as she scans the posters for the current films.

 Ichigo chuckles and nods to her.

 “Sure. Choose one.”

 It’s not like they’ve got any plans and watching a movie does sound nice.

 Besides, there are a couple of good ones out there.

 An action movie, a drama based on a book Ichigo’s read, an animated film that seems interesting.

 Hell, he’d even watch the newest rom com if Rukia wanted.

 However, she doesn’t choose any of these options.

 Instead, she stands directly in front of a black and white poster and grins at it.

 “That’s it! I wanna watch this one, Ichigo!”

 His gaze moves over to the poster in question and he actively gapes at it.

 There is a woman ─ or at least he assumes that’s a woman ─ with long, black hair, dark eyes, inhumanly pale skin, an open mouth and her hand reaching out.

 The rest of the poster is black with red letters announcing the film.

 It is definitely a poster for a horror film.

 He believes it is that movie people have been hyping all summer.

 The one that has made grown men leave the theater crying.

 And that’s the one Rukia had chosen.

 “Sure you wanna watch that?”

 He asks her, just in case.

 “Of course! It looks fun!”

 Her answer comes off as strange until Ichigo remembers Rukia is an avid horror manga reader.

 Remembering her taste in books, the film is right up her alley.

 Because, instead of finding them frightening, she finds this genre funny for some reason.

 “Alright, but you better not grab me in the scary scenes.”

 He jests as Rukia rolls her eyes.

 “Please. As if I’d get scared over something like that.”

  So, that’s the end of the discussion.

 Two tickets, one large popcorn box and two large sodas later, they are sitting down on their respective seats, waiting for the movie to start.

 Rukia is positively excited.

 She can’t stay still as she waits in anticipation.

 Ichigo is much calmer.

 Although he has no interest in the film, he enjoys observing Rukia.

 Seeing her so happy makes him happy in return.

 So he relaxes and prepares himself for two and a half hours of comedy.

 Rukia follows suit and, as the lights go down, she positively beams.

 The movie starts with the death of a woman and her child and then the suicide of the husband.

 It is grotesque.

 And it is as cliché as Ichigo expected it to be.

 There’s a curse, an abandoned house, two spirits, and lots of killing.

 The gore is not excessive and the jump scares are fine, he supposes.

 It’s not groundbreaking or anything, though.

 He doesn’t scream or jump, although the rest of the audience certainly does.

 What it is really surprising is that Rukia is one of the ones to scream.

 At one point, she grabs his arm and starts digging her nails into his flesh hard.

 He would have teased her about it if it hadn’t been for the fact she was clearly scared.

 And, that is something he has never seen.

 Rukia.

 Frightened.

 Well, that is not true.

 He has seen her scared before.

 But only in life or death situations, when it was possible one of them wouldn’t make it.

 Furthermore, he had seen her scared for him.

 For his life.

 But never like this.

 Who would have known a dumb horror movie would make her react like this?

 And, maybe he can understand.

 The actress portraying the main ghost makes a good job seeming unnerving.

 She crawls and moves around unnaturally.

 Then each time she opens her mouth, a terrible guttural sound can be heard.

 All in all the film is eerie and it is dark inside the cinema.

 So he can understand why Rukia’s so scared.

 What he doesn’t anticipate is that, after the movie is over, she is still frightened.

 As they walk home, the sun starts to set.

 The darker it gets, the jumpier Rukia becomes.

 She grabs his arm and looks at every corner or at bushes, trees, or anything that could remotely conceal something.

 It would’ve been sort of funny to see a ghost frightened of seeing another ghost, but she is trembling.

 It’s clear the film had an impression on her.

 And not a great one.

 Yet, Ichigo figures that once they get home, she’s going to forget about it.

 And for some time it seems like she does.

 She has dinner with the family like normal.

 She and the twins talk about several topics, with Ichigo and his father chiming in every now and then.

 She makes fun of him as they tidy up the kitchen together.

 And Rukia even has the time to read one of her manga before going to bed.

 He figures she’s over the movie.

 There is no reason for her to be scared anymore.

 And so Ichigo goes to sleep without thinking too much about it.

 Until Rukia wakes him up in the middle of the night.

 Like around 3 am, she throws his door open and practically sprints towards his bed after closing the door.

 She’s trembling and, are those tears in her eyes?!

 “Rukia! What’s wrong?” He asks her once he takes a good look at her. “Are you sick?”

 She hurriedly shakes her head as she holds herself.

 “Nightmare.”

 Oh.

 Well that explains it all.

 “Because of the movie?”

 He questions and when she nods, he just sighs.

 “Come here. I’ll keep you save from ghosts.”

 He jokes as he scoots over so she can get in bed with him.

 “Not funny.”

 Rukia sniffs before looking around his room.

 “I want to sleep close to the wall. The closet’s scary. Something could jump out of there.”

 Ichigo is dying to reply that the only spirit that has ever come out of that closet is Rukia herself, but he bites his tongue.

 Now is not the time for that.

 He stands up and lets her crawl in bed until her back hits the wall.

 Then he follows suit.

 She scoots over towards him and presses her face on his chest.

 Like a reflex, he holds her tight.

 He looks up at the ceiling waiting for her to stop trembling.

 And it suddenly dawns on him that they are cuddling.

 That Rukia is in his bed with him.

 At night.

 In a cramped space.

 And they are cuddling.

 He blushes.

 It figures that the first time Rukia is this close to him would be because she’s scared and not for any other, far more agreeable reasons.

 That’s just his luck.

 So he pushes any weird thoughts out of his mind and focuses on the girl in his arms.

 She hasn’t stopped trembling.

 Not yet.

 “Are you that scared, Rukia?”

 Ichigo has to ask her.

 She simply nods with her face still pressed on his shirt.

 He turns her over.

 “Look at me.”

 He commands.

 And when Rukia turns, there are still tears in her eyes.

 It is such a pitiful sight.

 A lieutenant of the Gotei 13 had been reduced to tears because of a dumb movie.

 Ichigo needs to fix this.

 “Hey, don’t worry. I’m right here and I’ll protect you of anything, okay? So don’t be afraid anymore.”

 Rukia gives him a teary smile.

 “Okay.”

 And she closes her eyes, finally relaxing.

 He smiles and buries his head on her hair.

 Tomorrow she will probably deny any of this.

 She might even give him hell for his cheesy lines.

 But it doesn’t matter.

 Because as of right now, he’s going to hold her and keep it close for as long as she needs.

 (Also, after this incident, horror movies will be banned from the household)

[chimericarchitect]

Tolight, you're on your own. He healed up your collection of small wounds and bruises with his magic before leaving to be with Darkleer, but Ringleader wouldn't be Ringleader if he didn't give you an amount of grief for it. 'If you didn't want to be bruised and cut up before your date, you shoulda thought a that before gettin banged up, git good, bluh bluh, I'm old and I smell like a closet full of mothballs and feet.' Feh!

The POINT is, your normal body is in GREAT condition, you are willingly fast asleep, and Ringleader will not be joining you for your unconscious hours. Not after exhausting himself with Darkleer, you forbade it.

Besides, you've got a lot of fussy fussering to do in private. It's become a bit of a joke to you now, to sit around and ask 'romantic undertones???' of yourself and the no one around you, but... romantic undertones??? This is your last chance to think about it before the date itself, and you ARE thinking about it.

You've been dreaming about this place for... the past two weeks, you think. A lounge. A dome. Not even enough room to walk around. It quickly became a claustrophobic sort of hell, though trapped as you are, you've had nothing better to do then get settled into this body - one that is apparently invulnerable to whatever harm you could cause yourself. You feel nearly as clearheaded as you do in your waking body now, and you can regulate whether or not you have weight, even if you don't have psi, but nothing you've attempted - no amount of physical violence, including what resulted in your lounge being busted - has resulted in your freedom. The undulating color of the barrier remains unfazed by the previous pleas and demands of your breakout attempts.

So you're not doing that. You're just drifting in place, hands fisted in the fabric of your skirt so you can swish-swish it to-and-fro while you putter about, thinking about Grinmaww and his sudden question a few nights prior. He's cute. Swish, swish... He's funny... Swish... And kind... And willful... "Wwould you wwanna go on a date sometime," you mimic to yourself in his drawl, flustered and silly. Your skirt goes one rapid swish-swish-swish before you give yourself a little spin, stapping your lime-slippered foot against the curve of the wall. Fuck it, hands on your face o'clock.

You must have been pretty obviously 'not entirely friend-casual' for him to feel confident enough to ask you out, right? THAT'S embarrassing. He said that he's had a crush on you for a while now... when did THAT start? He decided to ask you out at your halloween party... You remember the way his pumpkin head ducked at you all flustered, and before that, when he hugged you after the confrontation, all fretful... and before that, how giddy you were to see him there, how he stiffened up when you hugged him in greeting. The dancing and the skating, the tomfoolery at the apple bin...

You're thinking about many months before the party too, when he lent you his little wrigglerhood pop-up book and you'd shown him your magical trinkets, and how delightful he was to meet, with that big stretchy smile and that air of wonder about him. There are a fair number of charming snippets in your memory... You made him those quadrant-day treats mostly as a bribe so that he'd deliver your secret-admirer gift to Pierce, but even though they didn't mean anything at the time (or they weren't SUPPOSED to), you've got retroactive embarrassment about it.

You squish your cheeks in a massaging little circle, a plaintive hum in your throat. It's nice to be able to die in private sometimes. How long has HE had a crush on you? How long have you been respectfully trying NOT to have a crush on him? Romantic undertones??? There is no conceivable way that this attraction is anything other than flush, which is the WORST, thank you very much! It's so lethally embarrassing to think about!

The thing about his invitation coming out of the blue, without openly mutual pining between you, is that you have no way to gauge exactly how he feels about you. Holding hands is gonna MEAN something now, and... what if... he wants..... to kiss....?

Ugh no, STOP, you might actually die. You smother your stupid face in your stupid palms and make a wonderful performance out of a strangled groan-turned-sigh. People don't usually kiss on the first date, right? This is DEFINITELY more casual than that, but what does 'natural' even look like? You scruffle your claws through your hair until it's untidy and slide your foot down the wall until you can donk your horns on the surface instead. Torture torture TORTURE.

These are the same thoughts you've been having since that mini confession, all in a little tumbling cycle, sometimes more articulated and sometimes less, but, since your most recent conversation with Nepeta, you've had a little bit more on your mind as well...

You open your eyes and stare through the dome, idly fixing your hair while keeping your head at a funny angle. Grinmaww IS well-known, isn't he? In his own timeline, he'll stand out no matter what you two do. Mister Bigshot, mister head of the church... Your disguise has to be impeccable, or you might accidentally get him into trouble. That's a sobering thought, but you already got some feedback on how to approach it, and your preparations for the date are in order.

Still. Still... You kind of wish you could just be yourself. If Pierce would be 'cull on sight' just for having outsider technology though, you don't know what atrocity would be in store for someone like you. An extinct cullblood with the audacity to wear paint and call herself a clown, an undocumented alien from another universe, after those two very serious assaults no less... It doesn't ever go well in your thoughts, for you or for Grinmaww.

But just imagine - just imagine for a moment - how lovely it would be to walk in the open with someone you admire so much, like you've learned to love in Ringleader's timeline.

You sigh a little dreamily and float down to the floor, head tilted to the side while you work through the last of the snags in your hair. You wish there was a blanket in here, or something for you to cuddle while you daydream your way through all these unrealistic fantasies.

French onion soup, and... the Egregore... and... a carebear kigurumi... Chocolates and cookies shaped like flowers... The feeling of wearing a pumpkin mask that wasn't made to fit your horns... Gumbo... Sollux, and the way he dried his shivering moirail... A crowded ship full of friendly costumed clowns... A kandi bracelet...

It's not the worst way to pass the light.

[awildofnothing]

Happiest Season Thoughts

When I first started typing this I titled it “Happiest Season - Short Thoughts” but since then I’ve eaten two more rolls and my girlfriend has fallen asleep and this has expanded out to a standard page length so....

Overall I come out of this movie not wanting to complain.  It sucks to hold gay content to this higher standard where we want it to be cheesy and casual but also meaningful and romantic and exciting but without making us feel anything bad.   

... But ... I definitely personally wish that this was heavier on the comedy and lighter on the frustration.  Outside of the first eight minutes and the last five minutes, they did not do enough to make Harper likeable.  As others have pointed out, there is being in the closet and then there are the multitude of ways she dismissed or mistreated Abby that had little to do with that, and having all of it treated as the same is frustrating.  After their reconciliation I still feel like I need a fix-it fic palate cleanser: like eighteen pages of Harper breaking down exactly what the fuck she was thinking in multiple instances.  Or one where Abby and Harper are separated for months and Harper does some real soul searching work and THEN eighteen pages of her apologizing to Abby and offering some sort of explanation for why she treated her that way.

That feeling of frustration is honestly one that is common for me when watching rom coms, though.  Misunderstandings are intentionally fabricated and characters transparently don’t have motivations for actions that are needed to advance the plot, and then the dramatic gesture does not leave room for characters to sort those misunderstandings or motivations out.  So again, I want to acknowledge I do hold this movie to a higher standard than other rom coms.  I only like maybe 3/10 rom coms so it is statistically improbable that this one would happen to meet all of my particular tastes.

I feel like I would have enjoyed this movie more if Harper’s actions were toned down - for example, the night out at the bar with her ex boyfriend is never actually explained, and seems unnecessarily and unrealistically cruel.  I would have preferred the movie stop at her decision not to fight harder for Abby when she is barred from attending dinner after being accused of stealing (even that was a little too far for me).  Upon seeing the preview for this movie I had immediately assumed that Harper would end up proposing to Abby in front of her family as the reconciliatory romantic gesture.  Devoting time to build to and show that would have cut down on the need to fill space with repeated beating down of Abby and the viewers.

Also, everyone seems to want Abby to have ended up with Riley.  Personally, a large frustration for me growing up was having what felt like most romantic lesbian movies basically end with the main character giving up on the love the movie is focused on, often ending up instead with a minor character introduced late in the story.  I understand that not accepting mistreatment or seeing it as romantic is a healthy, vital message; however, having so many movies for lesbians end that way felt to me, as a teenager, like the message was “your first choice is never going to love you back and it is unrealistic to expect that as a homosexual, so be prepared to settle for a less compelling, random person because none of the most compelling people are gay.”  It didn’t feel good, and one main thing I wanted out of this movie was for Abby and Harper to end up together because that was one thing I felt was lacking growing up: (good) gay movies that focus on the love story they’re telling and not on the one that was lost.  Happy endings instead of bittersweet ones.  

HOWEVER in this particular case, Riley was made TOO compelling.  Lol.  Maybe if I and the main target audience for this film hadn’t grown up watching more subversive stories because that was all that was gay at the time the standard rom com shenanigans would have gone over better.  It’s not a negative that queer culture holds partners and media to a higher standard.  

Ultimately I don’t fault this movie for what it was.  Harper did partially acknowledge her actions - that she did hurt Riley, that she was hurting Abby, and that her need to appear perfect impacted her actions in ways that weren’t related to her sexuality.  I think the fact that Abby did leave her after her confession was very important.  Harper’s character was just a little too complex and grey for the standard rom com storyline to really flesh out.  Outing your high school girlfriend is a heavy action implied to have impacted Riley’s life for over a decade.  I could have enjoyed this movie in thirds - Romance, Comedy, and more honest or indie Harper character study - but there wasn’t room in the script for all of them. 

I will most likely watch this again.  I would watch this with my family.  I enjoyed typing this review.  It had a great cast.  7/10...?

[cvrnelivs]

— ( harry styles, cismale, he/him ) &. * — meet ( cornelius ‘ oliver ’ edwards ) ! ( he ) is ( twenty five ) years old and has lived in st. helens for ( two ) years . when they’re not helping the town prepare for halloween , they work as a ( baker ) . around here, they’re known to be ( idealistic ) & ( intuitive ) yet ( unpredictable ) & ( destructive ) and apparently their favorite fall activity is ( visiting the farmer’s market ) . safe to say it really wouldn’t be halloweentown without them !

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is a LOT of info about my bb, cornelius/oliver. ** insert clown emoji but make ‘em yee-haw ** if you’d like to plot you can reach me on here or at space cowboy#8536 on discord !! <33 v excited to interact with y’all and your bbs !!

( DISCLAIMER : THIS IS LONG - WOW !!! just felt a lot of muse !!! apologies !!  ) 

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘

name: cornelius oliver edwards.

nicknames: ollie, ol, lee !! literally whatever - “hey, you” dkjfgn

gender: cismale. pronouns: he, him.

age: twenty-five.

birthday: june 27th.

zodiac: cancer !!

orientation: pansexual / panromantic.

occupation: baker // aspiring filmmaker.

languages spoken: english & french.

𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

- PINTEREST - featuring his wardrobe, his home, his aesthetic, some character inspo and olive, his german shepard pup !!

- SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - what oliver is currently listening to !!

personality type: INFJ-T / THE ADVOCATE

moral alignment: chaotic good

style-wise: oliver is v stylish, but isn’t overly flashy by any means. he’s intuitive in the sense of what works and what doesn’t. willing to explore the latest wardrobe craze, but also just likes what he likes and likely won’t venture out unless pressed by another to do so. post coming soon for his wardrobe !!! they say that the cancer man’s clothing is selected to reflect “ sophistication over flash “ but kdgjn i’ll let ya’ll be the judge of that. he’s v much harry inspired clothing wardrobe, but also tones it down with some casual looks, especially with being in the bakery and getting his hands dirty in creative aspects !!

𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

   oliver was born in kent, england. he’s the youngest in his family of three, having an older brother and sister w/ two loving parents. when he was nine, his family packed up and moved to southern california, where they resided until oliver left for college on the east coast - his family trading off between living back in england and on the west coast throughout the year. upon moving to a new country at a young age, oliver truly found himself via escaping into various books and movies. often attempting to write his own and would force encourage his siblings to act his skits/plays out for his parents enjoyment. growing up, oliver also enjoyed playing all types of sports ( his parents kind of threw him in hoping he’d make friends ), but when it came down to it, athletic abilities-wise, there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t ‘ good ‘ at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual / as well as a perfectionist. that competitive/perfectionist energy caused him to go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. throughout highschool ; oliver was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not, as well as take part in various clubs and sports ! just SOFT and sportythings.

   post-high school, oliver attended NYU double majoring in film & television and dramatic writing. despite his extensive and well received portfolio, oliver has always been a perfectionist and overcritical of his work, unwilling to share his projects with anyone until he deems them to be ~ perfect ~ himself. after graduating, he spent a year traveling, trying to find a bit of inspiration around him and taking up odd jobs to get some $$ of his own, dog walking, attempting his best at being a handy man, etc !! he moved back home to socal, and eventually made his way up to st.helen’s after he was sent a job posting for the bakery in town !! although he knows he doesn’t want to pursue a career in baking forever, he’s enjoying his time while trying to find a bit more muse for his future film&writing career.

   overall, oliver can come off as a bit reserved, and distant whether that be a result of his untrusting nature of others, or simply unfamiliarity. it takes a bit of time before he feels comfortable to share his true opinion / commentary / only doing so when he feels secure to do so. he’s not necessarily unfriendly, just a bit distant / lost in his thoughts. which varies, as with most ppl ofc, upon person to person and his level of comfortability among them. despite his often lack of conversation, he abhors an uncomfortable silence to settle and will fill it with nonsense to simply avoid the feeling altogether. so, if you ever want to catch him rambling, just making him uncomfortable dkjfngdf. he definitely approaches most things with a bit of ‘ tough love ‘ . he doesn’t mind getting into a quarrel or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. oliver will tell others when they are fucking up, and if they are throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it, which explains his bout of reckless antics. he can come off as a know it all, when it comes to advice giving, but more so because he thinks he’s really good at analyzing others and situations they are in, not necessarily because he’s lived through them himself, he’s just rather intuitive and able to empathize quite easily with others despite his verbal admittance of it. when it comes down to this binches reckless bits, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all ( especially bc he’s definitely not sharing those feelings with the people around him ), therefore he’s willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels overwhelmed by numbness. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ mind ya business. but he’ll likely try to drag somebody else into it, and make it seem like it was their idea. but if he is truly comfortable with somebody, he walks a fine line of won’t stop talking, especially if it’s an interest of his, and comfortable silence.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 & 𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖘

he is a CANCER, therefore in this essay i will..... kidding but here’s some fun cancer info i saw that applies to my bb !! at first he appears to be wistful, sarcastic ( maybe a lil crabby ) , shy, distant and mysterious. this personality remains if he isn’t completely comfortable around somebody. but overall, that’s just his facade, his ‘smokescreen’ of sorts to scare off the world from his outwards persona. underneath that layer ( makes me think of shrek metaphor with onions // don’t mind me ), BUT he’s gentle, kind and affectionate ( if you manage to make it to that level * bell dings * ) !!! overall, oliver is a sensitive soul, a bit emotional although he’d rather d*e than show that to others. likely will internalize anything that can hurt his feelings / a low blow and will do something chaotic as a result later on bc of it. very polite, and a little worldly, he is truly the epitome of old-school gentlemanly manners. chivalry coming as a second nature to him !!

that was getting ramble-y, so continuing HERE. but when it comes to romance, as per the cancer man, the concept of love is a mystery, one that oliver is trying to attain. however, his shyness and innate distrust of others make it difficult for him to allow himself to fall in love. his guard is always up when it comes to his emotions, and it’ll take a bit of prodding before he’s willing to speak up on what’s desired from him. he’s v picky when it comes to finding the “ partner of his dreams “ - but he’s def willing to throw himself into the romance of the situation, i.e. buying flowers, riding white horses, and slaying metaphorical dragons. the traditional side means that he will shower his partner with thoughtful gifts, wine and dine them in the best restaurants, and try to grant their every wish. he will take the garbage out, fix that wobbly shelf, navigate on road trips, and kill more so trap and release bugs for his partner, and most important of all he will do it all without being asked. his loyalty and keen attention to the needs and wants of his potential partner. so basically, more so willing to showcase through actions than speak on it. it’s the little things, right ??!?!?! he def cherishes not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body, and soul.

prides himself on being able to make a mean cup of coffee, likely the worst person to watch a movie with bc he knows exactly how it’s going to end after only watching five minutes of it, he has a godawful sense of direction, will walk in circles for fifteen minutes before even raising a question about it/noticing ( but he refuses to acknowledge it. )

his house, car, workspace, junk drawer, closet….you name it - it’s organized, practically sparkling. often times arranged by color, and / or style. nothing is ever out of place, and if it is - there’s trouble brewing. but, more than anything, if he’s visiting somebody’s place and it’s messy, he will spend a solid thirty minutes picking everything up before doing whatever it is that was intended.

likes : reading, flowers, handwritten notes/letters, deep cleaning, baking, curating soundtracks for his film projects, watching the history channel and true crime docs and playing / watching hockey !!

dislikes : artichoke, clutter, sandals ( fkjgh ), unrealistic plotlines in movies &+ burnt coffee.

habits : smoking cigarettes - although he’s been meaning to quit. likely has a severe caffeine addiction, although he’s now normalized having six cups of coffee throughout his day. he’s an early riser, no matter how little the amount of sleep he’s received, he’s always the first to rise - for his early morning runs !!

strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring, convincing, determined and passionate, decisive, altruistic, intuitive !!

weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, low-key always needs to have a cause / purpose, can burn out easily !! 

overall : oliver truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his bit of chaotic energy / as well as his often points of getting lost in his thoughts. he won’t realize he’s been quiet for the last three hours unless it’s mentioned to him. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day. wahoo! his more reckless antics increase when he’s feeling a bit emotional !! but he’ll likely try and convince somebody to propose the idea so it’s not on him. 

𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

in an attempt to throw himself into the town’s traditions and what not, after moving to st. helen’s oliver decided it was upon himself to put on a very spooo0ooky haunted house! so, catch him converting his home into a haunted house for the month of october !!! nothing cheesy either !! it’s more a psychological scare dkjgn with some gore elements !! EnTeR iF yOu DaRe !!!

he bounced around playing sports growing up, but favored ice hockey and field lacrosse out of them all.

HE WANTS TO JOIN A BOOKCLUB PLEASE !!!!!!!! or at least have some casual moments of silence with another reading. plz and tysm.

he is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school and has no plans on eating seafood/meat ever again.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured. visits seb’s winery v often !!!

he can play the drums !!

he collects vintage matchbooks and the stickers off of various fruits ( he puts them in a little notebook - can be found on his bookshelf ).

saves handwritten notes and letters from pals.

he loves to garden !!!! he has a specified rose shearing hat.

to make things a bit simple, he has all of harry’s tattoos !!  might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

honestly, i am so up for anything !!! please accept this ramble of ideas thrown below.  if you have any other ideas, lmk !!!! <3333 :’-)

( 2 / 2 ) - BFFZ : the z for an added emphasis dkfjgnd. somebody who likely has a key to oliver’s house, they can enjoy one anothers company as well as the bouts of comfortable silence. you know how best friends are but kdjfngd still !! whether they are likeminded or polar opposites that just flow ~~ down for anything !! even a trio of sorts ?!

( 0 / ?? ) - MUSE(S) : somebody that he often strikes inspo from for his short films and what not !! or has starred/he plans to have them star in his future compilations of sorts !! can be simply from their own ideals, their look / ~vibe~ dkfjgn // whatever !!

( 1 / 1 ) - RIDE OR DIE / CHAOTIC COMPANION : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although oliver may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around.

( 1 / 1 ) - GUARDIAN ANGEL / GOOD INFLUENCE : with ollie being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may be worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

( 0 / 1 ) - PARTY FRIEND : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embarrassing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details. likely the only person oliver confides in, simply bc he’s completely plastered.

( 1 / 1 ) - SIBLING-LIKE RELATIONSHIP : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. truly a pure content filled relationship.

okay quick mention, ENEMY PLOTS ?!?!?!?!?!? i would live for one. i can’t imagine oliver being hardcore nasty, but i’d like to see whatever version comes out for this. so let’s get it djfngjakdfg maybe they just hold different viewpoints on the world and what not and clash, anything really !!! v open !!

( 1 / 1 ) - MENTOR - oliver needs a bit of structured or unstructured guidance, all depending on what their deemed mentor is wanting to impart on him, a bit of wisdom or slight chaos. kdjfgn he’ll take anything !! life advice in any and all aspects. maybe they come into the bakery, or maybe they help him with his garden. who knows, i certainly don’t know how they met, but we’ll figure it out ?!?!

RANDOM LITTLE IDEAS : maybe they’ve heard of one another in town, but haven’t quite met yet! or maybe they see each other around all the time, but have yet to introduce themselves to one another but low-key maybe in some online forum for the town together ?! who knows some fun things kdjnfg i AM OPEN !

ooh maybe a slowburn of sorts ?! something spicy to wreck ollie’s and my life with.  dkfjgn we can base this off of chemistry !!! :’-) 

[andorerso]

for the prompt "Hold my hand so he gets jealous" requested by @de-temps-en-tempss I wanted to do a twist on fake dating, hope you don't mind. Enjoy!

Cassian knew it was a bad idea. He’d seen enough movies to know things like this never turned out well: someone always got hurt. In his defense, it had been harmless at first – just a little bit of impulsive hand holding while her ex had walked by. She wanted to punish him and make him crawl back to her at the same time, and Cassian happened to be there. But then “Hold my hand so he gets jealous” turned into “Pretend to date me just for a couple of weeks” and Cassian was too stupid to say no.

It would be fine, he told himself, because it’s not like they had feelings for each other. She was in love with her ex-boyfriend, no matter how much she didn’t want to be, and he was head over heels for someone else for a while now. It would just be a couple of outings together, she assured him, before her ex-boyfriend begged to take him back and they could go back to living their lives like normal. He certainly didn’t expect to get a broken nose out of it.

But as the doctor took a look at his injury, Cassian mused that he did know someone would get hurt. He just didn’t expect it to be him.

Leia Organa owed him a lot for this.

The whole thing had been going fine until tonight. It was Bodhi’s birthday party, and everyone was there. In hindsight, that should have been a warning sign. Everyone always meant trouble. When Cassian really thought about it, his group of friends existed of a lot of hot-tempered or headstrong or argumentative people. He didn’t mind that so much in small doses but when they all got together, it could be a lot to handle.

And though he had hoped to be done with the whole thing by now, Leia saw the perfect opportunity to flaunt their fake relationship in Han’s face instead. Cassian agreed to go as her date only because she swore it would be the last time. He really should have said no.

But back then he had no idea he’d end up kissing Jyn in the closet before the party was over.

She’d been avoiding him anyway. He’d been trying to figure out why but that was the thing about avoidance – it was hard to get clues when he could barely get Jyn to talk to him for more than two minutes. She always had an excuse ready: she was busy, she was tired, she was ill, she was running late, she had a headache. It was all very convenient.

He was starting to think he had seriously offended her somehow when Bodhi’s party came around. And for once, she had nowhere to run from him. Cassian wasn’t ashamed to say he fully intended to use that to his advantage.

“Hey,” he said as he approached Jyn in the kitchen. She was pouring herself a glass of beer and he gestured towards it. “Can I have some?”

He really wasn’t a beer fan, to be honest, but any excuse to talk to her. Jyn eyed him like she knew this – of course she did, she knew him better than anyone – but shrugged and poured him a glass as well.

“Thanks.”

She nodded, wordless, and he could see she was preparing to go back to the living room. He grasped at an opener to make her stay.

“So uhm, are you enjoying the party?”

Great one, Cassian, truly brilliant. He mentally chided himself, hating how self-conscious he felt. This wasn’t like him at all – even though he had a huge crush on Jyn for the longest time, he never got awkward around her mostly because he knew she didn’t see him that way. There was no point in stressing out over something that would never happen. Now, though, with her ire directed at him, and at a loss for why, he felt nervous in her presence for the first time ever.

If she noticed, her only reaction was a raised eyebrow. It was unreasonably cold.

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Bodhi seems to be having a great time.”

“Mhmm.”

“He and Luke are nauseatingly cute together.”

“Sure.”

“Okay, Jyn,” he sighed, running out of options, “what’s your problem with me?”

She blinked, feigning ignorance. “Pardon?”

“You know what I mean,” he said with a pointed look. “I’m sorry if I offended you somehow but can we talk about it? I really don’t know what I did, and I want to make it right.”

“Cassian, I don’t know –”

“Damn it, Jyn, I miss you. Give me something to work with.” He paused, giving her a pleading look. He was getting desperate and it showed. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Jyn stilled and he knew, even though he didn’t know why, that was the wrong thing to say.

“Friends,” she said quietly, a bitter edge to her tone. She let out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s apparently all we are.”

Now he was confused. “What do you mean?”

“You wanna know what you did?” Jyn asked, her voice rising in anger. Her cheeks flushed and her gaze was murderous. “You’re dating Leia.”

Cassian paused. He had considered this could be the source of her anger – the timing was correct, and it was the only major change in their lives around the time she stopped talking to him. He eventually dismissed the idea, deciding it had to be something else he didn’t think of. He saw no reason why she would be pissed at him for dating Leia. At least, not so pissed that she’d go out of her way to avoid him. Maybe a little angry that he didn’t tell her about it in person, but to be perfectly honest, he still didn’t see why she would care so much.

“I – don’t understand, Jyn, why –”

“Because I love you, dammit!” she yelled, and he swore his heart stopped beating.

It was the one thing he made certain to never think about. The one thing he dismissed as crazy, outlandish, and unrealistic. He couldn’t afford to hope, couldn’t afford to fool himself into thinking he stood a chance with her. It was just his traitorous heart that wanted to believe it – he couldn’t trust his judgement when it came to his feelings for Jyn.

In truth, it had been more than just a crush for a long time.

Hearing her say what he’d been thinking for so long was like lightning struck him.

“I had no idea you felt that way about me,” he said dumbly, still not quite processing this news.

“Clearly,” Jyn snapped then turned around, leaving her beer on the table. Cassian stared after her for a long second.

He looked back at Leia in the living room, gesturing animatedly as she talked to Shara Bey. Goddammit, he was not going to sabotage his chance with Jyn for this silly game between Leia and Han. They were just going to have to figure out their shit on their own.

With newfound determination, he took off after Jyn. He caught her by the coat closet, gently taking her arm to steer her inside. He knew they needed privacy for this conversation. She wriggled a little, shaking his hand off with an angry hiss, but went inside willingly. The door closed behind them, blocking out the noise from outside.

“Did you mean that, Jyn?” he asked, turning to face her.

“No, I’m just pulling your leg – of course I meant it,” she spat, every word a furious thunder. Cassian could tell when she was angry for real and when she was angry because she was afraid to be vulnerable. This was the latter. “You don’t have to do this, okay, I get that you’re not interested. I was an idiot to think you felt the same.”

“But you never said anything!” he cried out, defensive. God, they were both idiots. He had to fix this. “If I had known, I would have never agreed to this.”

Jyn stared at him in disgust and Cassian screwed his eyes shut. He hadn’t realized how that would sound.

“What, date Leia? Are you serious right now?”

“No, argh,” he groaned, rubbing his hand across his face. How did this get so messy? “Dammit, I’m not dating Leia.”

Jyn halted, clearly not expecting that. A myriad of emotions played across her face: surprise, confusion, disbelief. She settled for a skeptical, “Yeah, right.”

“I’m not,” he insisted. “She’s only pretending to make Han jealous. I’m more or less an unwilling participant.”

Jyn was silent as she took that in. She still seemed upset, but she eyed him curiously, looking for sincerity. Cassian held back nothing. He didn’t have anything to hide and if Jyn wanted nothing to do with him after this, at least she’d know the truth.

“Are you serious?” she asked, less doubtful but still cautious.

He nodded, gazing into her eyes. He tentatively took a step towards her. “Yeah. I always felt the same way about you. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”

Jyn’s breath caught. She stared up at him in unguarded vulnerability, barely contained hope, and a quiet blossoming joy. It was such a beautiful sight that Cassian forgot to breathe. Then she pushed at his chest.

“Asshole.”

Cassian stumbled, crashing into the wall and bringing down some of the coats with him.

“Hey! Jyn, what the hell?”

“Do you know how upset I was?” she demanded but she was less angry now and more agitated. “I thought there was something between us, I thought we were finally getting somewhere, then bam! You’re dating Leia. I thought I was crazy. God.”

Cassian pushed himself up, brushing off his shirt.

“So you were that upset, huh?” he asked, a small smirk hiding in his voice.

Jyn threw him a dirty look. “Shut up.”

“It looks like Leia’s plan worked a little too well. Not only did Han get jealous, you also got jealous.”

“I really wouldn’t push my luck, Cassian,” Jyn warned him but her glare lacked intention. “I’m still mad.”

Cassian dropped the teasing smile from his face, giving her a genuine look. “I really wouldn’t have agreed to it if I’d known how you felt.”

“Why didn’t you anyway? I made myself pretty clear.”

He and Jyn must have a very different definition of the phrase “pretty clear” but that was a problem for another day.

“I’m an idiot,” he offered instead and that seemed to appease her.

“You really are,” she agreed. Her eyes were twinkling, and he smiled in response. “The question is, what am I going to do with you now?”

Cassian’s gaze dropped to her lips. The closet was rather small, and he hadn’t noticed how tightly cramped they were up against each other until now.

“I have a few ideas.”

Then he leaned down and kissed her.

That was how Han and Leia found them ten minutes later. Tangled up in each other in a badly lit coat closet. If he had been paying attention, he could have heard the telltale sign of raised voices and angry words coming their way, but as it was, he was a little occupied with kissing Jyn up against the wall.

The door opened with an unexpected bang and Jyn broke away from him with a gasp. There was a moment of shocked silence, Leia looking flabbergasted, while Han’s face transformed into fury.

“You son of a bitch!” he yelled and before Cassian knew it, he was being yanked out of the closet by the collar of his shirt. “You’re cheating on Leia while she’s ten feet away?!”

“No, no –” Cassian began and suddenly, everyone was talking at the same time.

“Han,” Jyn started as Leia angrily hissed, “Han!” and Han himself was shouting and calling Cassian a lying cheating scumbag. The commotion attracted the others as well.

“What’s going on?” Bodhi asked, approaching them with a cocktail in his hand. Cassian felt a momentary twinge of guilt for ruining his birthday party.

“This asshole is cheating on Leia right under her nose!” Han yelled, shaking his fist, and Bodhi looked between him and Leia in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s not what you think –” Cassian started but before he could get anything else out, Han punched him.

That’s when Cassian knew he was never doing Leia any favors again.

After the doctor was done fixing him up, his nose wrapped up in a splint, Leia approached him with an apologetic smile.

“Han says he’s sorry for the misunderstanding,” she told him. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see him right now, so I agreed to pass on the message.”

Cassian glared. “I hope you’re happy with your Neanderthal boyfriend now.”

“We’re back together,” she told him cheerily. Any other time Cassian would have been happy for her but right now, he could barely suppress a groan.

“Seriously?”

“He did punch someone for my honor.” When Cassian gave her a blank look, she added, “I’m sorry. But you helped us a lot, you know, so thank you.”

“Sure, any time. Next time, though, you might want to ask someone else. Regretfully, I only have one nose.”

Leia winced a little. “Ah, come on, don’t be like that. Girls like that rugged macho look. Jyn certainly does.”

He said nothing. He didn’t know where he stood with Jyn right now and he was afraid to find out.

“Even so,” Leia continued, “you have to admit, it was in bad taste of you to go to a party with one girl and end up kissing another. I thought you had better manners than that.”

Cassian groaned. When would those damn painkillers finally kick in?

Leia laughed a little.

“In all seriousness, I’m happy for you both. And I feel awful. I got you into this mess, I made things harder for you and Jyn, and I gave you a broken nose as a parting gift. If there’s anything you want for your birthday, you got it.”

“I’ll let you know,” he told her sarcastically. Leia, sensing that he was done with the conversation, nodded.

“Oh look, Jyn’s here,” she said and Cassian turned to see Jyn lingering in the doorway. “Good luck.”

As Leia flitted out of the room, Jyn tentatively stepped inside.

“So,” she began, tugging on the ends of her sweater. “Regretting things yet?”

“Very much,” he said instinctively, then his eyes widened when he realized she might be talking about them. “I meant me and Leia. Not you and me. Not at all.”

Jyn smiled, a tiny but hopeful thing. “Good. Because that was one hell of a kiss and I’d like to do it again.”

“Even though I clearly make bad choices?” he asked, half-joking, half-serious.

Jyn shrugged.

“I think what you did was nice. Idiotic but nice. You tried to help a friend.” She paused, voice getting quieter. “That’s what I like about you.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lips twitching up. His nose was still throbbing, but he cared less at the moment.

“Oh, it’s just like now, is it?”

He meant to be teasing but Jyn bit her lip and looked down. He could tell she was uncomfortable, a little fidgety, and probably very self-conscious. Cassian knew this wasn’t easy for her and though he had said he felt the same, she needed reassurance just as much as he did.

“Jyn,” he said, and at the tone of his voice, she looked up. He caught her gaze, trying to relay his sincerity. “I love you too.”

Her lips curled into a smile and she took a step closer, tangling their fingers together. Her cheeks were flaming but she looked happy. And though this is not how he imagined confessing his feelings, all that really mattered was that they finally got around to it.

[dydturktek]

Nem Kurutma | Nem Alma | Rutubet Kurutma | DYD 444 0 719

14 04 Fools Day time Pranks with regard to College

14 04 Fools Day time Pranks with regard to College

Only some of us provide the time or even patience to fully tinfoil peoples dorm room, or maybe sticky take note of their attention.

We shouldn’t all have got flash mobs of associates to do one thing nuts pertaining to April Fool’s Day. In this post we’ve got 12 gags which will just about anyone will be able to pull off in addition to there’s no legitimate budget in order to speak of. Notably not if perhaps two or three everyone is in about them. Check it out!

one Get just like 80 Popcorn poppers And…

Some tips about what you do: video tape them to their very own dorm room home from this indoors (no climbing any mist scrapers regarding this). With 100 of the things requirements will be pretty big; the actual mess shall be lovely; certainly scare typically the #$& snabel-a out of these folks!

2 . The very best April Fool’s for Computer system Nerds.. EVER IN YOUR LIFE!

After exploring the ten billion creative ideas Google presents, this is definitely one of the neatest http://paperwriters.org. You’re generally going to place your head in a jar and then put it in their fridge. Or simply, you could go along with their best good friend’s, or useful other’s go. All you need can be a computer.

3. Does Their particular Major Need Typing?

Heya, if someone you would like to play a prank regarding does a couple of typing that is a really good 1: rearrange the main letters on their keyboard. It could harmless, uncomplicated without stopping the keyboard together with yeah. Even when they are the most convenient and loudest typer at school, it will boggle their brain. You could sequence the letters to say a thing perhaps?

several. This is Down and dirty

This can get ugly rapid so you demand some perfect finesse. If you’ve got some sort of girlfriend/boyfriend, contain a stranger they know hands them some sort of hand composed ‘I’m ending it with you and also dropping out’ letter. It can help if the clique in with it, but again, while this will definitely obtain a reaction your preferences . backfire…

5 various. Nail Gloss + A cleaning agent

This is an oldy but goody. You just fur their cleaning with clean nail develop and in the day when they seek to shower it certainly can’t lather and they’ll be like, ‘Whu? ‘

a few. Fill the very Halls with Fruit

Never on the ground absurd, but holding from obvious cords as well as strings. Not less than everyone get their many fruits in for a new day. You could go along with bananas, fiber-rich baby food, pears, strawberries, grapes, or perhaps go big with grapefruits.

7. Mouse + Jello

These days a good computer mouse won’t cost but a few bucks. Therefore , go ahead and get their rabbit in the middle of the jello fungal of your picking out. It should be explained that jello can be both low-priced and fantastic. You can get very crafty having jello and about we all love the files.

8. Visit Pop Music artist

Just find the pop legend they would like to own plastered all over their items and head over to town. Bieber is always a favorite. But , let your imagination perform wild.

9. Pregnancy

This unique only works in guys which have no clue it’s The spring Fool’s Daytime. You know, the guys who all only learn basically Brand new Years, New season Break in addition to Christmas. If they might have a significant other, oh yeah it will get them fantastic. If they may and you learn someone they have been frisky within the past which willing to have fun with along… better still.

10. Sign Mob Everybody?

Okay great, no bogus or gag list is usually complete minus the theater company involved.

10. The Unrealistic Alarm Clock

Simply put: legendary. Seize their alarm clock while these people sleeping, fixed it to move off at least an hour earlier inside of a hidden location that will desire them peanuts. If it will be taped to the ceiling unrealistic perfect!

fjorton. The Ultimate Stink Bomb?

Everybody loved some sort of stink explosive device. So why not blast an entire dorm? Why not explode an entire establishing? I mean you will get boxes these things throughout multiples shades, head into typically the stairwell along with go bottom by carpet (two men and women on both isn’t stable for suitable coverage). And so awesome! Plus, if you’re main is hidden operations just be able to stealth-mode this and no one will in addition know you recently pulled a good prank that can make the university paper!

thirteen. Dixie Cups of for Mls

This is especially cool for anyone would you fan with beer pong. You can get a huge selection of these things for a discount (make certain recycle these people afterwards), fill up them very little bit using water or perhaps whatever gets results, and then cold. You could populate an entire dormitory hallway. You could possibly fill their very own dorm room. They have funny.

12. A Your bed Full of Cornflakes!

Cornflakes. Inexpensive, loud, crunchy, delicious using milk together with processed sweetener. Why not a good bed, automotive, dorm room, as well as closet rich in them?

Okay everything you aspiring students out there, do you do it? Reveal your tips for pranks throughout comments!

https://www.nemkurutma.com/14-04-fools-day-time-pranks-with-regard-to-college/

NEM KURUTMA HİZMETLERİ

[ouraidengray4]

The Secret to Keeping Your Goals When You Have Zero Willpower

Don't worry, this is not another New Year's resolutions how-to article. This is a beautiful challenge to be accepted, a desperate call to action, and a massive opportunity for you to save your own ass.

Are you ready to answer that call? If not, you can stop reading right now. Otherwise, hop on board the S.S. Goalz—and chart a course to the very heart of radical self-honesty and transformation.

The Real Reason You Don't Accomplish Your Goals

You suck at setting fitness goals.

Did that hurt a little? Good. Comfort is overrated, and I need to be brutally honest. You’ve heard of growing pains, right?

Being bad at goal setting is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something you need to address directly and consistently in order to achieve your goals—regardless of whether you want to lose weight, build muscle, or do your first pull-up.

Behavior change and goal setting are at the heart of your journey to greatness. And every single health and fitness goal requires that you change your behavior—permanently.

Everything you need to achieve your goals is already inside of you. Encouraging, right? Then why haven’t you reached your goals yet? Because you are constantly setting yourself up to fail. You are single-handedly creating all the obstacles to your own success. Hang with me for a minute.

For the last 16 years I’ve worked as a holistic personal trainer—taking a 360-degree approach to fitness and wellness. I’ve helped people of all ages, dispositions, and attitudes achieve their goals. And the biggest barrier is always a variation of the same thing: self-imposed limitations. Here are a few I hear all the time:

"I'd work out more if I had more time.” Everyone gets 24 hours in a day. Time isn't the problem; it's your priorities.

"I feel embarrassed and anxious at the gym. And my body hurts after I work out." All the more reason to learn how to heal your body and become more confident—two things exercise directly affects.

"I don't know the best exercises to achieve my goals!" Great! Become a student of the body. You’ll achieve your goals and learn a bunch of useful stuff along the way.

None of these are actual limitations. "I don't have enough time" might actually be "I don’t have enough time because I’m binge-watching Netflix and browsing Facebook three hours per day." It’s time for a reality check.

You are your greatest obstacle and your most valuable ally on this journey to self-empowerment. The more quickly you can be honest with yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to catch yourself in self-deception. Becoming aware of it is (nearly) all it takes to stop.

The Little-Known Fact That Changes Everything

You are—at your very core—an animal. If you approach goal setting from an overly analytical perspective, you’ll never even begin to approach your real potential.

My own personal story can provide some real insight. I’m a recovered drug addict. I was able to turn my entire life around using ritual, movement, and meditation. After years of suffering, I had a moment while staring at myself in the mirror. I thought, “I’m not a victim. I’m doing this to myself. It’s up to me to stop.”

That was the ritual part: sacrificing my inner victim who blamed everyone else and avoided personal responsibility. It was a crucial first step that let the light flood into the dark closet I’d been living in for years.

But it was only the first step. Shortly after that, I became obsessed with working out. Despite starting out scared, humbled, and lacking in self-confidence, working out allowed me to heal the damage I’d done to myself, to my family, and to my own body.

What fueled that workout obsession? Was it because I knew exercise creates new neurons in the brain in the areas affected by addiction? Hell no! Even though that’s true, I didn’t know it at the time and wouldn’t have cared if I did.

My workout obsession was fueled by girls! I was an 18-year-old boy, so all I cared about was trying to get girls to like me and—let’s be honest—get naked with me.

To put it more plainly: My fixation with women and sex saved me from drug addiction. I didn’t start working out because I knew it’d help my recovery; I did it to get laid.

This is where radical self-honesty kicks into high-gear. If you can’t be honest about what primal needs you’re lacking, you’re going to have trouble finding purpose in your health goals. Without that deep meaning, your goal is entirely dependent on personal motivation and willpower, which, for most, will be long gone by February. Primal. Emotional. And fun. You might not be a horny teenager (or maybe you are!), but the point is the same. You need to connect your fitness goals to the things in life you secretly desire but dare not speak out loud. Maybe it’s your desire to look good for someone else, maybe it’s your ability to take care of yourself, or maybe it’s your wish to overcome the proverbial bad guys in your life. If you don’t focus on the foundation, everything else will crumble. You have to set goals that honor your animal nature—your reptilian brain. Think sex, survival, and shelter.

Tap into your emotions; they help generate the consistent drive it takes to achieve any goal. And have fun! If you think working out has to suck and be painful, you’re on the wrong track. Go dancing, play sports, learn a martial art—whatever it is that is intrinsically motivating to you. Go in that direction and forget about the militarization of fitness that preaches "no pain, no gain."

The more you see a direct link between what you want so badly (for instance, love or friendship) and your health goals, the less you have to rely on motivation. Health and fitness are not separate from the rest of your life, so don’t separate them!

How to Master the Process and Avoid Self-Sabotage

1. Set goals that are realistic.

By far the biggest mistake people make with their New Year’s resolutions is falling victim to the quick-fix mentality. You can get quick results, or you can get real results. Pick one.

Having unrealistic expectations and then having them crash headfirst into reality obliterates your motivation.

Besides, what exactly is the rush? If you’ve picked goals that truly matter—primal goals that light you up—aren’t they worth the time, energy, and sacrifice?

2. Focus on process goals, not outcome goals.

Losing five pounds or getting rid of belly fat is an outcome goal. Doing a YouTube workout four times per week for three weeks is a process goal. The process is your foundation; all the results are built upon it and only happen after you’ve achieved your process goals, not before. If you’re not willing to show up regularly for your goal, pick a different goal—or don’t even bother making a New Year’s resolution.

Mistakes are not the enemy; lack of commitment is the real problem. If you’re committed but make mistakes, you’ll learn and grow from them. For instance, let's say you stay out late drinking with friends and miss your morning workout as a result. If you're committed, you'll see the direct correlation between drinking and not working out, and won't make the same mistake again. If you’re not committed, you’ll use the mistakes as an excuse to quit—right before you’re about to learn something and make real progress. Now that is self-sabotage!

3. Break large goals into smaller goals and measure your progress obsessively.

When I was first getting into working out, my college roommate was a football player. He taught me how to create a simple spreadsheet to track my progress. I’d print out my workouts beforehand and put them in a binder. That became my bible. If I fit in six workouts in a week, or one extra rep doing push-ups, I was thrilled, because that meant I was one step closer to a hot date.

It doesn’t matter if you go analog or use a mobile app—you need to track your progress. The most important metrics I’d suggest tracking are: How much did I move today? Was it fun? What did I learn? As long as you’re moving, having fun, and learning regularly, any goal is achievable.

4. Fall in love with the process.

If you fall in love with the process, you'll find excuses to keep trying, learning, growing, and discovering. And, most importantly, keep getting back on the horse.

This is a skill in and of itself. Life is full of obstacles, and it's rare that everything is in perfect alignment. Sh*t happens. You get sick. Or depressed. Or work/kids/partners derail your plans. The question is: How quickly do you get back on the horse? Bad stuff happens, but don't let a three-day cold turn into not working out for a month.

5. Look backward before you look forward.

Taking stock of what kind of year 2016 has been will help you create the best 2017 possible. I wrote a whole blog post about it, but basically, look back at your year and ask yourself these three questions:

What were your five biggest success in 2016?

What were the five biggest challenges?

Is there any important unfinished business you need to wrap up?

Looking backward provides context, continuity, and orientation to your future goals. And guess what? If something real crappy happened to you last year, good! Not because I’m a sadistic jerk, but because that “bad" thing might be exactly the source of fuel you need to make meaningful resolutions.

Here's the truth. You haven’t made the big changes you already know you need to make because you’re scared. Making real change is uncomfortable and forces you to be vulnerable and courageous in the face of uncertainty.

Honestly, if a goal or new activity scares you (in an existential way, not in an "I might actually die" kind of way), that’s a very good sign you're on the right path. Follow the fear and know every single obstacle you face—be it internal or external—is an opportunity to get stronger and truly embrace your power to create the life you deserve.

Will it be easy? No. Comfortable? Definitely not. Worth it? More than you can possibly imagine.

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