#GO READ YOUR HISTORY
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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.
#you will make superficial edits that do not gell well with the rest of your work#and won't actually capture what you thought was so good about that story#close the doc. sit down. think about it for a while. inspiration is fine. getting a 'eureka' moment from another story is fine#but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP#you will never write good stuff by trying to make it look less like you wrote it#writing#writing advice#guess who just had to go into her google doc history and undo a bunch of panic-induced edits#because she read a fic about the same characters she's writing for?#meeee. they aged badly within just a few hours of hindsight. learn from my mistakes#self-hatred is not a good motivation for creation#fic writing
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#“Back then I really wanted to be your friend.” They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!
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while I see the appeal of izuku calling kacchan katsuki I think if he does katsuki should be allowed to burst into tears immediately
#am I not kacchan anymore? what did I do wrong? do you not love kacchan anymore? I'm sorry#coming from kacchan bakugou at this point they're too far gone they can absolutely never go back#there's not the same history between deku and kacchan#and even deku - the name - wasn't really hated by Izuku anymore. katsuki chose to stop calling him that because he wanted to do better#(because Izuku deserves better. also because Izuku feels so much nicer on his tongue)#but kacchan? they both like calling him that and being called that. katsuki loves being kacchan he claims very loudly being kacchan#and of course. never complained about being called kacchan by kaminari#anyways I'm reading fanfic#not me saying you can't have izuku call kacchan katsuki in your fics and have it be a good thing!#but for me I think it'll always be kacchan#anyways. I 'need to write fic#mha#mad mha ramblings//#bkdk#bnha
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thinking about compiling screenshots of golden/silver age batman exclusively calling dick his ward to combat the allegations that it was “initially a father-child relationship”
#dc#batman#brudick#i don’t even ship it#i think i'm still mad at the poll when people were trying to refute the brudick points#by saying shippers are also biased and ignoring the history and that it really was a familial relationship early on#me the only asshole on this website enough of dumbass to try to read early batman “no it fucking wasn't”#if you hate the ship fine but don't back up your argument with complete lies#the pro-brudick camp has receipts which gives them way more validity than the haters#i'm sure somewhere out there there's dick grayson pre-crisis saying bruce is like a father to him#there's so many comics and i've barely scratched the surface#but i did read both the first golden age compilation book of batman and silver age world's finest compilation#and neither of them say anything like that#and no “his ward dick grayson” is how he's called constantly it's one of the stock phrases in the ever present narration#early comics fundamentally didn't understand they were a visual medium and are full of very tedious and unnecessary text panels#and to be fair each issue needed to function as an intro to someone who had never heard of batman and robin before so#“and his ward dick grayson”#every damn time#their relationship was adult man and his plucky kid sidekick he inexplicably hangs out with#which doesn't make sense and doesn't parallel to real life real social interaction#but neither does a man going in a batsuit to fight crime#and the out-of-universe explanation is because this comic was aimed at kids who were supposed to project onto dick grayson#and the kids want to be batman's kid-partner not his kid-son#it's not that complicated this trope still exists today#kid who should not be here but is because it's a kids' show/book/movie/etc#i stg i'm gonna become a brudick shipper out of spite at this point#and WHILE I'M COMPLAINING i am also going to be mad at the people who get all up-in-arms#about all the evil heroes doing child endangerment on their poor abused sidekicks#should there be kid heroes? no but cape comics would suck without them so stop complaining and enjoy yourselves#RL vigilantism is also always bad stop bringing real world standards into this they don't apply
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the problem with all these white authors like rick riordan who are revealing their stances on the israel-palestine apartheid is that they barely do anything but virtue signal when they claim “i’m on the side against war” “i’m anti-violence” “i abhor terrorism.” zero people are going to disagree with you. zero people believe what hamas did is justified. zero people think israel shouldn’t have a right to defend itself against terrorism. but that isn’t what israel is doing when they collectively punish all of palestine, who doesn’t even have an official army. when rick riordan says some wishy-washy bullshit about the violence suffered on both sides of the conflict, and words his whole dumbass blog post like it’s violence that is in any way equal, that literally helps no one. in fact, it’s so damn negligent of the 75 years of violence that palestine has suffered and been oppressed for. yes, there are innocent civilians in israel who are suffering, no one is disagreeing with you. that doesn’t erase the fact that israel is a disgusting state that has used state-sanctioned violence on a systemic scale since its conception, and the oppressed people have responded to that in violent retaliation (because OBVIOUSLY they would). israel is built on the subjugation of palestine, there is no equal suffering between the two.
#ricky when i catch you ricky#so fucking disappointed with rick and aveyard and gaiman and brown and tjr and the list goes on#it makes me so damn mad. israel doesnt need your support to genocide palestinians#was thinking about buying chalice of the gods but im probs not going to for now#maybe until i can get it secondhand. but idk if i even care to read it atp#riordanverse#rick riordan#free palestine#percy jackson#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#toa#trials of apollo#correct riordanverse#rewriting#what is happening to innocent israelis is horrible. but i find it funny how the world only cares when its an israeli person#suddenly every innocent palestinian who has died since israel’s conception is flattened by history to somehow be on equal terms#10000 palestinians have died since 2008. its not equal at all.#how can u say that the attacks in gaza have reached genocidal proportions and then still talk abt suffering of israel like its equal???#‘What can I do? I will continue to write books—‘ oh my god shut up#‘I will resist the urge to demonize entire groups of people.’ YAWN#‘ I will call for less violence not more violence. 🥺🥺’#‘ And when asked whose side I am on I will tell you I am on the side of humanitarianism—‘ OH MY GOD SHUT UPPP
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Oh you have complicated feelings towards Germany? Let me make 91836373 assumptions about it with my piss poor understanding of history, not listen to germans at all and then come to a horrendously bad and false conclusion on why that is! Also I think you germans should stop feeling guilty and be proud of your country again!
#I know people mean well when they say stuff like you should be proud of your country but my fucking god they are annoying#rains rants#german stuff#''I'm sure now that I a random person with no connection to germany commented this somewhere with my obvious zero understanding of germany-#all germans reading this will go 'oh hey you're right' and then feel patriotic! I'm sure my dumb comment will solve a what I regard#as issue of an entire country with a population of 80 million people! no need to thank me and my superior world view!''#sorry had to let that out somewhere.. the amount of times I see stupid ass comments like that is insane#ough post derailed I should've specified how I ment this sorry I get easily annoyed at this#The notes reinforce something I specifically did NOT mean but I didn't specify that in the post that was just in my thoughts#hate the reinforcement of the 'guilt' stereotype or the as long as we deal with nazis and stuff we aren't 'allowed' to be proud like no-#wait this isn't what this was about. Yes they're all still own topics to be discussed#although the last point doesn't exist agh forget everything I said actually#it's learning from history and taking responsibility not we can't be proud because some people are antisemitic and our past is dark#I should've turned off reblogs way earlier
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Genuine question. What was it about Hamas breaking into homes, doing war crimes, killing civilians, raping women, killing and possibly beheading babies made y'all break your "no politics" rule to post support about it?
Condemning one side for genocide while ignoring the other side chanting "gas the Jews" is a special kind of irony.
i don't have the energy to respond to this right now. i never once said i approved of or condoned hamas. hamas is a terror organization and any and all killing of human beings is wrong. however you are listening to propaganda. most of the sensationalized headlines about hamas, specifically the beheading one have all been proven to be fake and have literally no evidence. hamas does not represent the palestinian people or the people of gaza. and yet the genocidal israeli government has decided to indiscriminately punnish all 2.1 million people living in gaza for the horrific actions of hamas. this is called collective punishment and it is literally defined as a war crime. gaza's population is 50% children. gaza is the world's largest concentration camp and open air prison. it has been under military blockade for the past 16 years. israel controls the food water electricity fuel movement of people and everything else going in and out of gaza.
this is a walled off open air prison that is extremely densely populated, extremely poor, and full of children. and israel is depriving the entire population of food, clean water, electricity, and carpet bombing them, using banned illegal chemical weapons, refusing to allow in humanitarian aid. they have bombed hospitals, bombed residential buildings, bombed people fleeing after israel told them to evacuate (but joke was on them because they can't evacute since there's no where to go because israel controls all the check points and refuses to let palestinians out, instead trapping them in gaza while there's still no electricity or water or food or any other supplies coming in.
and then don't even get me started on the propaganda israel has been using to demonize and dehumanize palestinians. the defense minister literally called all palestinians "human animals" and said israel would treat them as such. top government officials have released images depicting palestinians as cockroaches and insects needing to be exterminated. they have referred to all gazan's as terrorists to justify their massacre of them.
this is fucking genocide. this is exactly what the nazi's did to jewish people. this is genocide. this is genocide. this is genocide. i have not heard a single palestinian person directing hatred at jewish people. (which is not to say that there has been no antisemitism going on, because there absolutely has, and I wholeheartedly despise it). however i have heard them criticize the israeli government for its depravity and cruelty and literal fucking war crimes it is gleefully committing.
criticizing israel for committing genocide is not antisemetic. criticizing a government for doing horrific evil highly illegal things against international law and against literally all moral humanity and human decency is not antisemetic. it is literally the morally right thing to do. what israel is doing is evil.
there are jewish people who agree wholeheartedly that israel's illegal occupation of palestine and their apartheid and ethnic cleansing are horrific. because they are.
and don't talk about irony. israel is the biggest fucking hypocrite in the entire fucking world. surviving a genocide does not give you the fucking right to perpetrate another genocide. but here israel is. and despite everything they do, they somehow always always play the victim despite the fact that they are the oppressor. israel will always say that any criticism of them and their actions is antisemetic. when in fact, it is entirely justified criticism of a deeply awful and morally bankrupt governnment that is and has been perpetrating heinous atrocities against the people of palestine for decades.
israel gives all jewish people a bad name. because real jewish people know that genocide is never okay. real jewish people know that israel's actions against palestinians are horrific and in no way justified. real jewish people stand with palestinians and support a free palestine.
all this and more is why it is the morally correct thing to do to support palestine and take a stand agains israel
and because you asked, the reason i'm breaking the 'no politics' rule is because of the responses from people like you. so many people have bought into israel's propaganda and their dehumanization of palestinians. there is so much islamophobia that any time people hear a single critique of israel, they jump in to condemn hamas and say 'oh so you support hamas' 'what about hamas' 'so you approve of people wanting to kill jews', demonstrating the insane racist mental gymnastics they are doing by literally mentally equating all palestinians with terrorists who deserve to be killed. and this is so widespread. people and all the world governments are sitting back and watching as this happens without lifting a goddamn fucking finger. with ukraine and russia, everyone jumped in to defend ukraine and support them and condemn russia. immediately. but it's radio fucking silence for palestinne. because of racism and islamophobia and because people are too cowardly to take a stand and risk pissing off all the masses of misinformed racist islamophobic biased people who support israel. and not only are people not fucking talking about it (or only talking about poor innocent israel and their right to 'defend themselves' which is the biggest fucking load of shit ever), almost all of our governments are actively funding israel's military. the very same fucking military that is literally committing a genocide right now.
if you're not horrified by all of this, then you are not a human being. if you do not stand with palestinians as israel blatantly to tries to annihilate them, then you do not have an ounce of humanity left in your soul.
Free Palestine 🇵🇸
#actually you know what no this made me so angry i do have the energy to respond to it#just not calmly#learn your history#read about the history of israel and palestine#and israel's illegal occupation#the land theft#the nakbas#the arbitrary killings and detainments#the indignities and cruelties palestinians have been subjected to for decades under the vicious israeli occupation#and if you want unbiased coverage of the news follow Al Jazeera#they're the only major media outlet providing even remotely true and unbiased coverage of what's going on#free palestine 🇵🇸#free palestine#palestine#gaza#israel#free gaza#🇵🇸#ask
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Research for an au fic I’m working on: how would Azula act and behave in a modern setting? And I don’t mean re-imagine her character within a modern context and stories. This isn’t Azula, but she’s an overachieving American high schooler with strict and overbearing parents, or Azula, but she’s the soon-to-be CEO of her father’s multinational conglomerate based in Japan or something. No, I mean how would Azula as she is in canon, Fire nation princess and all, act and behave if you simply just took her from her world and plopped her into [insert current year you’re reading this]?
#Like I wanna see what her figure out modern technology so bad#Bro is probably stunned by like microwaves and ovens and fridges and all that#imagine her saying#“How has the fire nation the smartest and most technologically advanced of all the four nations#not yet figured out the limitless potential of being able to reheat your food thus making it edible and enjoyable once again?!”#wanna see her throw an iPhone at a wall because she received a text message#and has no idea why the magical black box is all of a sudden directly communicating with her#Like the potential for comedy is endless#But also more seriously what would she make of our modern social and political problems?#And our art?#Imagine she if listened to our music? Or Watched our movies and TV shows or read our literature#it’s said in canon that she enjoyed reading a lot as a young child and spent a lot of time combing over the royal palace’s archives#Imagine her stumbling upon a modern library#She’s always been a lover of history#so I can just imagine with piles of books trying to cram our entire recorded history like she’s revising for an exam#What kinds of introspections and reflections would she have#learning about all the horrible atrocities we committed throughout history in the name of a culture or an individual or an idea?#How would she compare and contrast it all to her own upbringing and everything she was taught about her world?#Oh and the internet of course#I feel like she would go into a comatose state discovering the internet#avatar the last airbender#atla#atla au#azula#princess azula#atla azula
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it's a hard trip to make even for folks here in the States but do yourself a favor and look up some pictures of/info about my birthplace: Lake Tahoe. it might be my favorite place I've ever been. absolutely fascinating environment and just stunningly gorgeous.
sneak preview ↓
What an absolutely beautiful lake.
So large that it curves from the curvature of the Earth! So large it's the second deepest lake in the US! A wonderful place to be greatly appreciated, for sure.
#reading the wikipedia page did make me feel a bit sad though#the human history subsection explained that the lake has a rock formation that is sacred to the washoe tribe#interested to see cave rock i check the wikipedia page for it and the image has a tunnel going straight through it :(#im not surprised that this lake is your favourite place youve ever been to though#hard to beat a lake like this! an alpine lake bordered by mountains!#asks#tender-warrior
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so we're comfortable saying a gay character should be executed and killed for flirting with his boyfriend who reciprocated and initiated that energy now are we? we're comfortable wishing violence on him are we? this is what we're doing? what fucking year is it again?
#advocating for violence and death against a gay man isnt the dub some of y'all raisins for brains seem to fucking think it is#begging you to go to any queer space irl and realise that bucktommy flirting over a daddy knk does not matter irl#what does matter is how gay people will react to y'all hearing they need to be executed and hurt and killed#just use your fucking brain for something jesus fucking christ read a history book talk to some elder queers for once im so damn tired#tommy kinard#911 abc#delete later
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We were watching pride and prejudice and my hand slipped....
The scenario: Damian has invited his mysterious friend-from-out-of-town to a ball hosted by the Wayne family. Jon is a dashing young man, but he's not sure how to interact with all the fancy people - lucky for him, Damian isn't all that interested in entertaining guests (he has Dick and Tim for that) and so they're doing fun activities together such as Standing Around and Playing Piano, to avoid anyone else thinking either of them is idle and waiting for a chat.
Below is just a version with more colour on it 👉👈
#i don't know how old timey clothes look I just wanted to draw while watching a movie#they're older bc of high society conventions (you have to be old enough to attend a ball and enter society)#anyway I don't really care how you read this art idm what happens in your mind during or after this scene! have fun!#but for me oh.. they are pining#also don't look too close at the piano I drew that with my heart and didn't look at a single reference#don't look too close at anything ngl HAHAHAHAHAHA#screentone#art#digital art#fanart#jondami#damijon#damian wayne#damian al ghul#jon kent#jonathan kent#superboy#robin dc#also obligatory: I'm still new here! if you want to tell me a fun fact or teach me something about the lads go ahead!#and actually if you want to give me a history fact go crazy#I'm learning on the job friends!#it's fun to draw and have fun but I am interested in learning more things to rotate in the microwave!#also still figuring out screentones and just#how to draw nice HAHAHAHAHA I'm improving a lot though!#illustration#manga style
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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THE number one most irritating thing about life is deciding when you're meant to speak or make eye contact and when you're not, and for how long and how many phrases you're meant to say at a time
#i know i make this post every week. i know this#but it's just constant!#all my other problems are either solvable or no one has ever solved them in the history of humanity you just have to live with them#but this one is soooo omnipresent and it takes up 80% of my brain space at almost all times#and it's not like i can really condition myself out of it because consciously Not thinking about it is the same as thinking about it!#try to think about my surroundings but people are a part of the surroundings!#how i avoided this level of constant decision making as a child is i just didn't speak to people besides my family unless i had to#i've read people's experiences who were like 'you need to decide when to put on your normal face and how to present yourself'#'being able to choose will give you more autonomy' and like! yeah! guess why i'm able to support myself and live an independent life#that doesn't mean making those choices every second of the day is enjoyable!! or really sustainable over decades and decades!!#rhghghgjhhbhhhhghghhhhghh#hisses like a cat going to the vet
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Incorruptible part 9
I enjoyed vm drawing young-maxime protectively looking out for his little family
#incorruptiblecomic#cannot emphasise enough how much I'm going into realms of interpretation and fiction now lol#like this is true-ish but also this vm me emphasising and imaning where strong views might've come from#so y'know just read books to make up your own minds#but I hope you enjoy my interpretation none the less#robespierre#maximilien robespierre#augustin robespierre#charlotte robespierre#frev#french revolution#webcomic#comic#history comic#historical fiction#frev art
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why are they still making epic rap battled of history. well since they already are rhen they should do the wicked king noah vs abinadi.
#if you burn me noah then youre going where its hot! you better listen when i tell you all your men shall TOUCH ME NOTTT.#idk thats as good as i could do.#how about you read Mosiah from the Book of Mormon and try to make your own epic rap battle of history ?
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i was gonna make a whole seperate post about how context and art seems to imply that the ex boyfriend that got stephanie pregnant was at least 18, if not older, when she was 16/15, which is kinda squicky (i mean not if she's 16 really, but 15 yes) but in my journeys on the Stephanie Brown wiki (real and delightful thing that exists) i discovered the batman chronicles #22 where her UNCLE HITS ON HER???? i think that's what we're meant to get from it anyway the dialogue is subtle (the art is not imo). AND I. WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. STEPHANIE YOU CAN START AS MANY GANG WARS AS YOU WANT WITH YOUR LIFE THE WAY IT IS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#stephanie brown#SORRY AND COUPLED WITH ROBIN 1993 ISSUE 111 WHERE IT'S REVEALED HER DAD'S FRIEND TRIED TO ASSAULT HER WHEN SHE WAS A KID#STEPHANIE BABY IM SO SORRY YOUR LIFE IS LIKE THIS#god no wonder she was so insane about tim. simultaneously loving him and being paranoid he was gonna cheat or something#i mean a) he skirted close to it at times very early on in his robin run which is. weird to say the least. rip tim sorry they did that to u#but also b) every man in her life treats her like THIS (guy who got her pregnant also abandoned her) so yeah#no wonder she expects the worst from tim but also clings to him like glue. bc he hasnt done any of those things (yet. to stephs knowledge)#it's super unfair on tim but also ohhhhh my god. oh my god her life is awful her life is so awful#i know a lot of ppl resent bg 2009 for not going into how awful her life is and there's merit to that criticism#but also the book was explicitly trying to give her a fucking break from the hardship#and after reading this. i can get behind it. i could before too but doubly now#i need. so many hurt/comfort fics about stephs history with shitty guys. so badly
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