#stop normalizing this shit tf?
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BPD IS SOOOO SILLY with how quickly you can get attached to someone. Like what do you MEANNNNN I’m attached to my tattoo artist who I knew for 3 hours and got salty that he has other clients????
#ryan.txt#bpd#borderline personality disorder#my bpd has not stopped raging in WEEKS#in my mind I literally had the thought that I wanted to get another tattoo so I’d have an excuse to see him again#THIS FUCKING DISORDER#why can’t I just get attached to someone at a normal rate#AND WHY A FUCKING TATTOO ARTIST WHO DONT GAF ABT ME#yk what actually#part of it is prob bc I’m touch starved and that’s the most physical contact I’ve had in… god knows how long#it’s all making sense now LMAOOOO#STOP I remember during too I had a brief moment of omg let’s imagine us dating and then I remembered I think he’s married or has a gf#killed that shit quick I was so embarrassed#omg wait he’s also tattooed himself obviously and I find tattoos hot LMAO BRO ITS MAKING SENSE NOW#like a hot tattooed man who is soft spoken is tattooing me how tf am I not supposed to find that attractive
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bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool
#you sound like every cishet republican man to me#you're not a Cool Subversive Leftist you're literally regressing by seeing animals as just objects of your pleasure and thats it lmao#im sorry but you dont just get to throw out all of veganism. it does infact have some roots in leftism.#you can sit there and cope with the fact you agree w some vegan talking point by calling it 'animal welfare' all you want#doesnt change the fact that a lot of those ideas in those circles were formed by vegans.#damn woooah vegans arent a monolith and dont all agree on the same shit woooahhh who knew#literally i have no idea how we even got to this point or how this would be surprising.#when i was on vegan twitter bitches were arguing all the fucking time within it. ur really gonna sit ther en tell me they're all secret#eco fash that hates native ppl and people who have to eat meat? ya sure???#you would think the individuals on tumblr- of all places- would understand how frustrating it would be to be grouped in with the worst#members of their community as if you represent them and are the sole spokesperson#you'd think they'd hate when someone jumps to conclusions about them based on their lifestyle#but naur. i think yall take it too personally. as if a vegan just being in a room is somehow trying to force you to be vegan.#literally grow tf up.#if a vegan being in the same room with you triggers feelings in you that you Have to stop eating meat- i really think thats a you problem#bud. homeboy hasnt even spoke to you leta lone look at you and apparently you feel this weird pressure now#idk man dont you think that pressure might be coming within?? maybe.... you do infact feel things and feel a lil guilty abt eating meat?#not telling you to stop... i still eat meat here n there. but at least im honest with myself about how it makes me feel to do it.#its infact normal to take a second to think about the loss someone made in exploitation to provide you with whatever.#if you can let yourself feel a lil guilt about buying a fast fashion thing you can sure as fuck finally extend your fuckin empathy to#animals and stop treating them like objects or toys.
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you ever see a fandom post that's like so far out of character you think it should be possible to deactivate someone's blog for them
#this is about that aftg venn diagram that said andrew is into astrology and neil kicks pigeons#1. no the fuck he would not be into astrology are you insane#2. who kicks pigeons why is that part of the venn diagram like its a normal thing are you insane#guys please tell me people arent going around kicking pigeons if so seek help#stop taking your problems out on the pigeons thats a living animal this has been my anti pigeon kicking psa bc why tf would you do that#what joy do you get from hurting an animal#marenposting#ALSO. ASTROLOGY. REALLY. FUCK OFF#andrew would not fall for that shit but nicky? allison? im not mad just disappointed#those posts about fandoms where people make up their own versions of the characters in their heads to stan are all about this fandom#which is fine its not fucking paradise lost its all for the game#but still do better men
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#really really hate how thoughtless and oblivious i can be to my own bad behavior#ill know something is important or that a shouldn't do a particular thing#but over time and assumptions and small acts of carelessnes shit just....fades and accumulates and one day#i look up and ive done something very stupid and hurt someone else#and i didn't feel it happening#my mind will take things and hide them from me is what it feels like. ill know they're there but it fades into the background noise#i am hard on the things in my life including people and relationships. and i am always so vulnerable to my own fuckin lmfao inattentivenes#this is why i struggle so much with the idea of ever having an intimate partner or children. it doesn't matter how much i care.#eventually and inevitably i do damage.#and i know consciously that people make mistakes and all you can do is try to course correct and make it right. but it's better#not to hurt anyone in the first place and i really don't know if i will ever be capable of that.#trying to convince myself this kind of shit is growing pains but man. man. i can't stop being what i am and it really#really feels sometimes like i am just destined to break and neglect#but then that ''im broken'' thing feels like trying to dodge around taking responsibility and improving. and i should be better than that.#but god how tf are you supposed to stop dissociating from the reality of what you're doing when you're. dissociated.#all i can ever think to do is isolate#*sigh* guys i think i might need to graduate to therapy with a trauma specialist#or adjust my medication. god. im so tired.#why is it so gd hard to be a normal decent person. it doesn't seem hard but then
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Desperately hoping for my fav trope to be fulfilled in this podcast:
Dads reprimanding kids that aren’t their own bc they’re so fed up with this bs
#Nick shakes scary real hard “he’s manipulating YOU DUMBASS”#Lark teaches taylor how to actually use a sword “stop using your friends as stepping stones. Also it’s ok to be angry at your dad for shit”#grant hugs normal “please stop burning the candle at both ends to make your dad proud it’s messing you TF UP”#Terry takes link out for ice cream “your idea of perfect relationships is fucked and needs to be fixed but don’t cut everyone out to do that#sparrow and hermie would actually prolly be them sitting in a room and insulting each other until they both disassociate#Sort of turned into just bonding at the end but you get what I mean#for some reason dads dadding the kids they aren’t dads too is very good to me#dndads#dungeons and daddies
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#hetalia#i made a itager charm design for my friendgroup to have#but if people would actually buy it too ill set up a shop and buy shipping supplies n all#and open preorders for it for le public#i just wanna know the interest cuz if aint nobody want this cringe gay ass shit (i dont blame you who tf wants a 2ptalia charm) then i dont#wanna research on reddit how to set up a bigcartel store n all and how shipping works#one day i plan to make normal itager charms anyways tho so yeah dw youll all get normal charms too#just might take a lil longer if i dont end up selling 2ptalia charms cuz my biggest thing stopping me has always been that i dont wanna#research how selling stuff and mailing things works
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#when you're listening to the radio#this happens#and you go like hey wondering why it always was my fave stones song!#even when I didn't know exactly how relatable those lyrics could be!#maybe i knew deep down or fucking something#god i should be writing a report for second job i finished two weeks ago I managed five lines#why can't i just get my shit together instead of whatever the fuck this is#at times i wish i could clone myself so the other one could do everything i'm not managing#and then i think who tf could handle another me i can barely handle myself on a normal notice#i'll go write the thing and stop wordvomiting whatever this is#i'm gonna answer everyone soon i swear i just really can't even begin to rn#queue of the beam#the rolling stones#music#i'm queueing this so i don't think about it while i'm doing the damned thing#nor get the temptation to add#anyway whatever i just#need to get a grip
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whenever a new concept is introduced (or our phys teacher says something just totally batshit), this one guy always looks around with really wide eyes to see who doesn't get it either
#we always make eye contact bc who tf knows whats going on#like its so funny so whenever we dont get stuff he just looks at me now#but like he will be writing notes ans then his pe cil stops and he just. snaps around#hes like are you seeing this shit marissa#hes like we cannot act like this is normal#btw he is the guy i like but i wasnt gonna mention that in the post
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the dreamies did dnyl with harvey so txt could make a bop with the jonas brothers. i don't make the rules.
#ujutxt#no hate to both groups they're both my ults trust#but it's so funny how these collabs end up sounding better than what they boys normally produce#for me dnyl was soty cos i was still crying over mark leaving and we go up#and now#do it like that is basically a nod to old txt#give me barking and meowing boys back#i don't need this temptation shit i'm sorry#sugar rush ride was ;///////////#the photos were pretty don't get me wrong#it's just#yeah....#hybe why r ur producers so bad now#also stop making tiktok songs where tf are the bridges
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y'all. i'm so tired.
(vent in tags below no pressure to read I just needed to scream nonsense into the void before I went to bed lmao)
#started my student teaching experience this semester#and holy shit#im not even taking over everything or most yet and im so dead#how tf do actual teachers do this like#also had my first really hard convos wirh kids today who were opening up about really tough stuff.#and like I've just been wanting to cry and think about them and kt all day#all is fine now but there was a whole thing the past week that culminated last night#and then we got some details from guidance and then some from other students who wanted to talk about it and were involved#and like anyway so many more details i cant say obv and again everyone is fine#but the whole thing was just so fucked and sl traumatic#and i just. wish they could be normal teenagers.#and my heart just aches so much for them#and then i was triggered and kind lf ignoring it until i got back and couldn't figure out why i was so affected#bc the content was potentially triggering but i could tell there was something else#then I realized i couldn't stop thinking about how much it sucks that they just couldn't live any semblance of a normal teen life recently#and i was like well#that was me in middle and high school 24/7#and i just seeing these kids today was like seeing myself i think#idk of that makes sense#but i want to give them a hig and give past me a hug#and i just want better for all of us traumatized and abused and grieving and etc kids#and for adults to literally actually do literally anything ever#and guidance counselors to get a raise bc they truly keep schools going#but anyway they have homecoming this weekend and i hope they can all have a fun and normal teenage time there#sorry huge rant but like. i cant stop thinking about these kids and i think thats the main reason why I'm so exhausted#like i knew this stuff would happen eventually but the amount of constant emotional labor and pain teachers esp woman ones have is WILD#and i just. god im gonna need ectra therapy just for this part of teaching
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I think so much, but when I need to think I can't stop and think. I'm so impulsive and I just can't learn to wait and think. hate myself.
#i talk#how tf do i stop that#why do my emotions always get the better of me#how tf do i learn not to be emotionally immature#i just can't understand#I mean#Most of the time I'm not like that#I am actually very mature in everyday shit that is happening#but then I see something or I just let my brain overthink for 2 minutes more and I become biggest child that you have seen in you life#and then I can't go back to track for a whole fucking day#I just wanna end me when that happens#then tmrw I'm normal again like nothing happend and I try to think how to avoid that happening again but there is no solution in my head#There is always a moment when I'll snap and say smth stupid and retarded#i'll always be alone bcs of this. i'll never be able to keep ppl around me. i'll always make them run#or i'll just disappear bcs I don't wanna be a burden to them#I was in the dark for far to long#shame on me#im just hoping that i'll prove to myself that im wrong and that i'll learn to be a normal human one day#scheduled post
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GET YOUR DREAM LIFE: A CHALLENGE
Welcome to this challenge, babygirls and babyboys 🗣️🗣️🗣️
So are you ready to manifest everything you desired in April? Then start up rn!
I'll show you 5 important, simple steps you can use to manifest your dream life!
This challenge will be done for 30 days throughout April. At the end of this month, the results are guaranteed!
You might be wondering if its gonna be hard... Buuuut! The steps are super duper simple, just follow them!
THE STEPS:
🤍 MENTAL DIET 🤍
Y'all heard it right, maintain a strict mental diet, like literally stop wavering! Stop focusing on things you don't want! Don't accept things you don't want! It's that simple. Only focus on positive and favourable thoughts.
Your mornings should go like, 'uhh it's such a beautiful day. It's gonna be amazing day as always. But it's gonna be fun today! I literally love this life, it's freaking amazing, I literally don't know how to thank myself for this. The fact that I'm the ultimate creator is soo mind blowing for me even though I've always been for my entire life. I'm literally thankful for everything! My life's being too perfect and I get what I want everytime, everything's in my favour always. I literally look soo amazing in every outfit I wear, it's such a slay everyday. Uhh I'm soo lucky to have what I want. Literally my self concept is supreme' and blah blah blah. You can add whatever you want further lol.
So like literally throughout the day steady yourself in this mindset. If you catch yourself wavering, be like *sike there ain't no chance bitch* come back on track! Catch yourself waver ---> stop ---> drop ---> flip it into something positive or favourable.
Literally robotic affirming is the only way you can keep your thoughts in check. So go bestie! Keep your head high, keep a check on those thoughts inside your pretty/handsome head 😩 keep slaying everyday ✨
🤍 ROBOTIC AFFIRMING 🤍
Keep affirming babygirls and babyboys! Like literally don't even stop (unless you're doing smth important, then stop affirming for a while lol) y'all got your dream lives already 💅 so why y'all telling yourself that you don't?? Well y'all do have it, so tell yourself the ULTIMATE FACT that you have your dream lives already 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ tell yourself whenever you're free, like even doing your daily chores such as taking a shit or shower, or brushing your teeth, eating, scrolling through the phone, or walking, waiting in a queue (I'd never wait in a queue... Cus I don't go to places with long ass annoying queues 😭) or listening to music or watching TV, doing the dishes or doing self care (I love my babygirls and babyboys taking care of themselves like there's no tomorrow 😩✋🏻I'mma give y'all a nice smooch 😚) just do it my babies! It's the ultimate way to get (which you already have it) your dream lives! So get tf up babies! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
🤍 LIVING IN THE END 🤍
This step should be missed at all babies! So focus on the end! Focus on having it! Focus on thinking from the end! Like you already are living yor dream lives, you have that car you wanted cus you already drive it everyday! You have that sp that loves you till death, that spoils you with their love, money, and what not?! You have that house you've been dreaming of! No, I mean living! You're living in that house already! It's yours my love! You got that perfect sculptured summer body ody that the normal human beings are jealous?? Like you have that body effortlessly 😩✋🏻 FOCUS ON HAVING IT BITCHES 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
🤍 USING SLEEP TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! 🤍
Listen here, my babygirls and babyboys! You sleep 7 to 8 hours a day, and sleep, according to medicals, is a state of complete rest. That means you're not aware of your surroundings. You're just being a black, quiet, space like floaty state (the void actually) so things are easier to manifest Instantly in this state! So why not do psych k or sats or the lullaby method before bed and after you wake up my loves?? It's so much more effective that what you do in the day time! Trust me! Go prepare yourself well for the bed babies 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
🤍 PERSISTENCE 🤍
Since you already affirming that you have your dream lives, you have it already! But you can begin to doubt that why is it not in the 3d... BITCH DON'T EVEN THINK LIKE THAT. Be like 'bitch wtf my life literally feels like a dream come true moment everyday 😭😭 like I'm literally living the life I wanted, I already am experiencing it wtf are you talking about' like literally GASLIGHT YOURSELF INTO THINKING LIKE THAT (cus you already have your dream life) like literally decide that you already have! Hold onto the new story no matter what! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
So ig I've told you what you needed to do... So all you gotta do is follow the fucking steps babies 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Okay, take care, love y'all babies! Byeee
- olivia 🤍
#dream life#law of assumption#neville goddard#reality shifting#loa success#affirmdaily#frequency#manifestations#manifestyourreality#scripting#nonduality#nondualism#void thoughts#voidstate#void#void success#loassumption#loassblog
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