#straight up Lottie

[wilted-violets]

@mt07131 tagged me in this quiz !! I'm super late to it bc I've had no internet for days but ! its very cool + as always I have no one specific to tag

What flavor is your OC?

Garlic

Everyone's favorite who lightens up almost every situation they touch. While they might not be the most "interesting" character, as to say, the story wouldn't be the same without them. They are what it means to be baby and don't deserve a single bad thing that comes their way. Of course, that makes them the perfect target for angst. Go figure.

[ambivartence]

Mingyu in Nana Tour ep 4-2 for @babytunninjadrac 🥰

[malizanu]

she's the man + yellowjackets brainrot

bonus:

[46hasu]

The biggest difference between the mondstat kids and the liyue kids is that the mondstat kids would unironically think someone like Scaramouche is cool while the Liyue kids would shove him in a locker

[lottieurl]

might simply love lottie too much but it makes me so so so uncomfortable everytime people joke about her getting beaten up nearly to death. like. i know what show it is i know what we joke about but at the same time if you aren't joking about nat's suicide attempt then maybe don't joke about the time lottie asked to be brutalized and nearly died because she's so full of guilt

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Each Yellowjackets character’s greatest strength (and why it is also their greatest weakness)

Natalie: Empathy/Selflessness

Despite her abusive home life and edgy, intimidating exterior, Nat is one of the kindest and softest characters on the show. She has a deeper understanding of other’s trauma and pain than most due to her own experiences. Nat was the only one to show empathy towards Travis when his father died, even when he was an absolute asshole to her (and pointed a loaded gun at her!). She helped Travis cut the ring off of his dad’s finger because she knew Javi needed it. She faces her trauma and becomes a hunter to provide food for the group. When Jackie tells Travis about Bobby Farleigh and Travis breaks up with Nat as a result, Nat still helps Jackie on the night of Doomcoming. She also doesn’t hold a grudge against Travis for sleeping with Jackie and even wakes up at the crack of dawn everyday for months and trudges through snow for miles to help him look for Javi. She helps Lisa steal back her goldfish, defends her against her mother, and even dies for her (literally!).

This is also why her selflessness is her greatest weakness, she gives too much of herself and does not believe she herself is worth the care she gives to others, resulting in self-destructive tendencies. Her one act of selfishness (letting Javi die in her place) completely destroys her. Her empathy results in intense guilt and shame when she has to hurt others in the Wilderness, resulting in her spiraling into a life of drugs in order to cope and keeping people at arm’s length to avoid harming them.

Taissa: Ambition/Drive

Taissa is driven and successful in pretty much anything she sets her mind to. Before the crash, she’s a straight A student and an exceptional athlete. In the Wilderness, she takes the lead on leaving the plane wreck, finding the lake, and forges her own expedition to find civilization. Post-rescue, Taissa is arguably the most successful survivor. She’s a lawyer and burgeoning politician with a prestigious academic background and a picturesque family. Tai’s determination and drive for success ensures not only her survival after the plane crash but also the survival of her teammates.

However, Tai’s ambition is also one of her greatest faults. Her tunnel vision towards success can result in herself and those around her getting hurt. She accidentally breaks Allie’s leg trying to get her to improve her soccer abilities. She sets out on her expedition despite Lottie’s warnings, resulting in Van nearly getting killed. And, as an adult, she (literally) drives herself mad trying to win her political campaign, pushing her entire family away in the process. Tai is fierce and accomplished, but always at a cost.

Misty: Devotion/Loyalty

When Misty finds someone she views as her ‘person,’ she latches on and does not let go. We see this in the Wilderness with Coach Ben and Crystal; and in the adult timeline with Natalie. Misty desperately wants to be loved, and therefore she will do anything for the people she cares about, hoping that this will gain their affection. She nurses Coach Ben back to health, she shares all of her secrets with Crystal and does everything in her power to ensure that the others don’t eat her body when she dies. For Nat, she not only gets arrested trying to help her, but also snorts her cocaine to prevent her from relapsing (my favorite scene in the whole show ngl), sets up a whole interrogation with Randy, and travels to a compound in the middle of nowhere to find her after she was kidnapped.

This unconditional devotion, however, definitely comes with its flaws. Misty is obsessive about the people she loves, and this obsession often leads to people getting hurt and/or killed. She kills Jessica Roberts in order to save her fellow survivors from blackmail. She drugs Coach Ben with shrooms (and accidentally the whole team) in order to win his affection, which results in Travis nearly getting killed and Javi going missing. She intimidates Crystal off of a cliff to her death when she rejects Misty and kills Nat when she had been trying to protect her. Misty is loyal, but her loyalty results in sociopathic tendencies and the loss of the very same people she is devoting herself to.

Lottie: Spirituality/Open-Mindedness

Lottie’s spirituality and open-mindedness has been key to the group’s survival in the Wilderness. Her ability to see, hear, and sense what other’s cannot (whether you think it’s real or not) gives her teammates in the teen timeline and her cult (intentional community) members in the adult timeline hope and purpose. Without Lottie, the girls likely would have given up on survival long ago. She has an other-worldly, healing presence that those around her are naturally drawn to, and she helps a lot of people as a result.

Lottie’s spirituality can also be dangerous and even deadly, though. Her time as the Wilderness’s prophet causes the group to spiral into ritualistic sacrifices and cannibalism. In the adult timeline, her spirituality gets her locked up in a psych ward for years. Even after she has healed and moved on, Lottie’s belief in supernatural forces catches up with her again and results in her reinstating The Hunt, ultimately causing Nat’s death.

Van: Perseverance/Resilience

This poor butch goalie has almost died a ridiculous amount of times. She gets in a plane crash and is ditched by Jackie and Shauna in the wreckage, narrowly avoiding burning to death. Then, she’s nearly chopped into bits by a plane propeller. Then, she gets brutally and almost fatally mauled by a wolf. Then, she’s nearly burnt to death again on a funeral pyre (while still actively bleeding to death from the wolf attack). Then, her face is stitched up with a sewing needle by a 16 year-old (with no drugs to numb the pain). Then, her girlfriend starts losing control of herself and trying to run off of cliffs in the middle of the night so she has to regularly tie her down and keep watch of her all night. Then, she gets terminal cancer and only has a few months left to live. And that’s not even considering her life before the crash, living with an alcoholic mother that she has to take care of. Needless to say, Van has been through it. And through it all, she maintains her strength and witty sense of humor. She’s a light out in the Wilderness, keeping her team uplifted and laughing even in their worst moments (this girl is literally cracking jokes with her face torn to shreds). Her perseverance through hardship is next level.

However, this perseverance seems to have created a numbness in Van. Over time in the Wilderness, Van becomes more numb and reaction-less to the tragedy and trauma occurring around her. When the group eats Jackie, she bluntly tells Tai “we ate her” with little emotion. When they kill and eat Javi, Van tells Travis she has no regrets because she’s grateful to be alive. In the adult timeline, Van calls off the psych team for Lottie and goes through with the card ritual, knowing that this will likely result in the someone getting killed. Van is resilient and driven to survive through hardships, but her way of surviving means losing a little bit of her heart and humanity in the process.

Jackie: Influence

Before the crash, Jackie is undoubtedly a leader. She’s the Yellowjackets’ team captain and has an almost magnetic force around her that seems to captivate the whole school. She’s pretty, popular, and excels in everything she does. Shauna especially is completely caught in her orbit. When her teammates are fighting at the party, she single-handedly manages to calm them all down and help them mend their conflicts with each other.

The downside to this influence, however, is that it does not transfer to the Wilderness. High school rules don’t apply to trying to survive in the Canadian Rockies, and Jackie’s influence lies in civilization and traditional society. Jackie struggles to have the same power that she did before, and those who are more unconventional (such as Lottie and Nat) have more influence in their new living situation.

Shauna: Intensity/Passion

Shauna is completely driven by her emotions. She feels things strongly and loves people intensely. We see this first with Jackie, who Shauna has an all-consuming (pun-intended) love for. Her world revolves around Jackie, she doesn’t know where she ends and Jackie begins. In the Wilderness, this intensity of emotions translates to a ferocity that keeps her and her teammates alive. Shauna is unafraid to become the butcher of the group or to take the first bite. On the surface, Shauna appears timid, reserved, and gentle. As a teen, she’s invisible at school, hiding in Jackie’s shadow. As an adult, she’s an unassuming, soft-spoken housewife. But underneath is a darkness and fierceness that catches people by surprise and serves as her secret weapon.

The downside to Shauna’s intensity and passion, however, is that she does not have control over it. Her emotions spiral until she or someone close to her gets hurt. She loves Jackie and feels jealous of her, so she sleeps with her boyfriend, gets pregnant with his child, and implodes their friendship. She is deeply mourning Jackie’s death, so she eats a part of her to feel close to her again. She’s grieving the loss of her baby and doesn’t know what to do with that feeling so she nearly beats Lottie to death. She has a feeling Jeff might be cheating so she starts an affair with Adam. Someone stole her minivan? She’s gonna track them down, hold them at gunpoint, and nearly kill them. When she begins to feel unsafe and suspicious of Adam, this feeling, too, spirals out of control and she ends up murdering him. Shauna’s emotions are powerful, and while they do serve an important purpose of keeping her alive in the Wilderness, she doesn’t know how to express them in healthy ways and ends up lashing out as a result. I have a feeling they’re going to play an important role in Season 3, as well, as we can see that Shauna’s jealousy of Nat’s leadership is already beginning to make itself known.

[ultrone]

seven minutes in heaven !

you join a 'spin the bottle' game at a party and get paired up with shauna ҂ smut & fluff; enemies to lovers, making out, dry humping, cum-filled strap-on use, choking. . .﹙5.1k wc﹚

the dim glow of fairy lights strung across lottie’s backyard cast a warm, golden hue over the party. the yellowjackets had won an important game the day before, and as usual, lottie’s parents were out of town, so there was no hesitation about throwing a party to celebrate the win.

you leaned against the wooden fence, holding a red plastic cup filled with something that tasted like a fruit punch spiked with some sort of liquor. you weren't exactly sure what was in it, but you were certain that more than half of the cup was pure alcohol.

your peace was interrupted by an all-too-familiar optimistic voice. "y/n! i've been looking for you," jackie said, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you away from your cozy corner.

"what are you doing?" you asked the blonde girl as she pulled you inside the house.

"we're playing a game," she said with excitement.

"don’t tell me it’s spin the bottle," you groaned as you saw people gathering around.

“come on, y/n, don't make that face,” jackie said, “maybe tonight's your lucky night,” she added with a wink, making you chuckle.

"alright, everyone! time to play!" she declared, ushering everyone into the living room. of course, she wasn’t going to play, being in a relationship with jeff. however, her nosy ass always wanted to be in charge of spinning the bottle—and potentially ruining people’s nights, you thought.

in no time, a group of people started sitting in a circle right in front of you. you noticed a bunch of yellow and blue bomber jacket owners gathering around. it was sort of a tradition that after every winning game, if there was a party, the yellowjackets would wear their bomber jackets all night to stand out. the owners of the bomber jackets in the circle were lottie, shauna, melisa, and surprisingly, laura lee. there were other people from school as well, including randy. hesitantly, you sat down between melisa and some random guy.

jackie took the bottle, giving it a vigorous spin. as the bottle spun and slowed down, its neck pointed straight at randy. then, after another spin, it landed on avery, one of the cutest seniors. a big smile lit up randy’s face, and you could practically feel his eagerness from a mile away. however, avery, with tousled hair and captivating, smoky eyes, shot randy a look of disgust. you could tell she wasn't too thrilled. unaware of the girl's reaction, randy stood up, all pumped and ready to head to the closet. you couldn't help but stifle a chuckle, and you noticed shauna letting out a relieved sigh.

"enjoy yourself," lottie teased, giving avery's shoulder a pat, to which she responded by rolling her eyes.

as they made their way to the downstairs closet, jackie spoke to the rest of the group. "okay, guys, brainstorm! what if we send two pairs at a time? it'll make things go quicker," she suggested, and everyone seemed to be on board.

“great!” she exclaimed before giving the bottle another spin. this time, though, it landed on you. jackie couldn't hide her excitement; she suppressed her smile and playfully wiggled her eyebrows up and down. “i wonder who the lucky winner will be,” she said before giving it another spin.

the bottle spun again, and you felt your heart sink as it stopped at shauna. you saw her face turn pale, and then red with annoyance. she glared at you as if you had somehow rigged the game.

jackie clapped her hands and squealed. “oh my god, this is perfect! the two most unlikely people to ever hook up.”

"this is gonna be interesting," lottie remarked with a smirk.

jackie seized both of your arms and whisked you towards the stairs. “come on, you two, don’t be shy! it’s just a game, have some fun!” she urged, but your attention was fixated on the irksome sound of laughter and cheering from the others.

you tried to resist, but jackie was too strong and excited. she pushed you and shauna into the upstairs closet and slammed the door behind you. you heard her shout, “seven minutes, starting now!” before her footsteps faded away.

you and shauna stood in the dark, facing each other. you could barely see her outline, but you could feel her hostility. you heard her snort and say, “this is ridiculous. i’m not going to waste my time with you.” she added, “just stay away from me and don’t touch me.”

you retorted, “fine by me. i don’t want anything to do with you either. you’re the last person i would ever kiss.”

she scoffed dismissively. "that's good then. it would be a waste anyway." her words carrying more weight than you anticipated.

shauna leaned against the wall, arms crossed. following suit, you leaned on the opposite side, feeling the bitter tension lingering in the air. you stood in silence for a moment, listening to the faint sounds of partying from below. you both felt uncomfortable, but neither was willing to break the silence.

then, she sighed. “you’re very annoying,” she muttered under her breath.

"you're not exactly a breeze yourself," you shot back. "not to mention stubborn as hell and fucking rude," you added, unable to restrain yourself.

her lips curled into an exasperated smile. "at least i don't act like i'm too good for everybody. you're the most stuck-up person i've ever met."

“well, at least i don't live under my best friend’s shadow. when we go downstairs, we should ask jackie for your daily dose of croquettes, you fucking lapdog.”

her eyes narrowed and she glared at you for a moment. “what was that?” she asked with a slight growl in her voice.

you stood your ground. “i said that you're a lapdog, bitch,” you enunciated each word with a sharp edge, your frustration boiling over.

shauna's eyes flashed with anger as she lunged forward, grabbing your shirt and forcefully pushing you against the drawer behind you. her hand moved up to your throat, putting just enough pressure to make it hard to breathe. attempting to pull away, you realized she was stronger than you anticipated. her face hovered inches from yours, her gaze intense, as if daring you to make a move.

before you knew it, you were gripping her wrist and pulling her tight against you. she tried to resist but you didn't let up. the closeness of her body, the heat of her breath, was making you light-headed. the smell of her perfume was intoxicating. your breath was short and hard as you stared into her eyes, and you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if you kissed her.

“don't look at me like that,” she breathed, her voice low and hoarse. you noticed that she was blushing ever so slightly.

"like what?" you whispered back, your breath tickling her skin, making her feel hot and flustered.

"like you want me," she mumbled quietly, a hint of uncertainty in her voice, her breath teasing your skin.

“who said i did?” you replied nonchalantly, trying to resist the urge to lean in and press your lips against her.

she leaned in slightly closer, her lips just a few centimetres from yours and whispered, “i know you want to.” a few seconds passed in uneasy silence as the tension built between the two of you, the heat from her hand on your neck making you weak.

"fuck it," you muttered under your breath, finally giving in and pressing your lips against hers.

her eyes fluttered shut as you made contact, responding to your kiss as if her life depended on it. she slid her hands to the sides of your face, her fingers threading through your hair and holding you against her. the kiss was bruising and intense as your hearts pounded against each other. your hands found their way to the small of her back, drawing her nearer as you lightly nibbled on her lower lip. it felt like an eternity before you pulled away, both of your breaths laboured, foreheads resting against each other.

“i fucking hate you,” you whispered, peering into her eyes, her grip on your face still firm.

“i hate you more,” she murmured back, almost petulantly, before pulling you into another passionate kiss.

as your lips melded together, she smoothly moved her hands down to your waist, skillfully guiding you to perch on top of the drawer. almost instinctively, you parted your legs, coaxing her to stand right between them. her hands travelled up to your upper thighs, gripping them firmly as her lips trailed a path along your neck, planting open-mouthed kisses all the way to the sensitive skin beneath your ear.

every fibre of your being screamed to touch her, to feel her everywhere. in a desperate attempt to do so, your fingers instinctively traced the outline of her jeans' waistband, gripping it and pulling her closer while wrapping your legs around her. a soft moan escaped your lips as you felt a bulge pressing against your center.

sensing your arousal, she seized one of your wrists, guiding it to her bulge, placing your hand directly over it and giving a good squeeze. "you like that?" she husked, a smirk playing at her lips. you could only respond with a breathless sigh.

encouraged by your reaction, she returned her hands to your upper thighs, holding them even more firmly as she pulled you against her bulge with deliberate, slow motions against your clothed center.

“mmh-” you moaned as you slid your hands under her shirt, fingers digging into her toned abdomen, leaving marks as you held on tight.

her lips captured yours once again, in a slower but equally intense kiss as before. the rhythm of her hips matched the pace of the kiss, her movements deliberate yet forceful against you. as your left fingertips continued to graze her abdomen, your right hand began to tease her chest, slipping beneath her bra. a soft groan escaped her lips at the contact, sending vibrations against your mouth.

growing a little desperate, she paused for a moment, eliciting a groan from you. sliding her hands to your waistline, she started unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans. equally eager, you assisted her by shedding your jeans and letting them cascade to the floor. at the same time, she undid her own jeans, allowing them to pool around her ankles, revealing her standing in nothing but dark red boxers, a strap peeking out.

drawing closer again, she didn't immediately resume her previous movements. instead, she lowered her face and gently rested her left temple against your cheek, her gaze fixated on the silhouette of your lower body.

her hands found a resting place on your thighs, softly caressing the spots where she had left gripping red marks just moments ago. each warm breath against the side of your neck intensified the pulsating sensation at your center. slowly, her hands traveled upward, reaching the hem of your panties, fingers slipping beneath. her index finger played with the fabric, pulling and letting it slap against your skin. the sound echoed slightly denser than cotton, catching her attention. as her fingers lingered against your pelvis, she slowly traced her thumb across the warmth and moisture of your clothed center.

“fuck, you’re so wet…” she whispered against your skin, her eyebrows furrowing, almost whimpering at the thought of being responsible of turning you on like this.

unconsciously, your hips began to move, your center yearning for more than just a lingering touch, but she held back. in your desperation, you pressed her against you with your legs, a sudden move that prompted her to place her hand on the wall for balance. she chuckled at your desperation, and you moaned at the contact of her hard length flush against your wetness.

"okay, okay," she said with a smirk, yielding to your silent pleas as she planted a small kiss on your cheek.

her fingers deftly slid to the hem of your panties, pulling them down and letting them join your discarded jeans. following suit, she lowered her boxers, allowing them to fall gracefully to her ankles.

her body drew closer to yours once more, but this time, one of her hands held her cock, while the other rested on your hip, unconsciously caressing your skin with her thumb. you felt yourself melting into another kiss, her mouth was warm, but her tongue was even hotter, exploring every inch of your mouth.

your breath hitched as you felt the tip of her strap tracing circles around your clit, and a loud groan escaped you as she rubbed her length against your wet folds, maintaining its stiffness with her grip.

“just put it in already,” you pleaded, the sensations in your core becoming too overwhelming to bear.

shauna's lips curled into a sly smile as she met your gaze. "good things come to those who wait," she quipped as her mouth found its way back to yours once again.

“whatever, shakespeare,” you breathed out as she continued to tease you, her length slipping against you due to your wetness.

“that was actually violet fane, a british au—”

“yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up,” you groaned, annoyed at the teasing. you couldn't take it anymore, you slapped her hand away, taking her girth in your hand, surprising her and causing her to lose her balance once more. pulling her closer by it, you aligned her tip with your entrance. she smirked, finding your sudden dominance hot, and she didn't stop you as you used your legs to push her against you, feeling her cock slowly entering and stretching your walls.

your head fell back as she bottomed out inside you, her strap-on so large that you could feel it pressing against your cervix. you slid your hands to her shoulders, gripping her tightly, and she hugged you by the waist, so close that you could feel each other's heartbeats. shauna's fingers wrapped around your hair, gently tugging your face to the side and exposing your soft neck to her mouth. she traced her lips down your neck, her tongue exploring your skin with each kiss. her breaths brushed along your skin as she nibbled at your earlobe and planted teasing little bites along your jawline. with her other hand firmly on your hip, she slowly shifted her hips back and then bottomed out again, falling into a steady rhythm. a soft groan escaped her lips as she felt the strap's rigid back massaging her throbbing clit.

your eyebrows furrowed, and soft moans escaped your lips, lost in the intoxication of her kisses and the steady friction of her length against your tight walls. your hands tightened their grip around her toned shoulders.

shauna lifted her face from your slightly swollen and moist neck, peering into your half-lidded eyes. “you okay?” she asked with tenderness, her voice low and raspy, her fingers gently caressing the side of your head.

"look at you, who would've thought that all you needed to become a softie was to get laid,” you teased, meeting her gaze and sliding your hands from her shoulders to around her neck, biting down a smile.

she breathed out a chuckle, rolling her eyes. “i’m not a softie, i was just being nice,” she grunted while slowing down her movements.

“i know, i’m just fucking with you,” you said, “i’m okay,” you added, giving her a soft smile to let her know you appreciated her concern.

just as she was resuming her rhythm, you both were interrupted by a glimpse of movement through the slight slit of the closet door. someone was walking past. a moment of frozen silence passed as you both tried to remain still. the person's footsteps faded as they continued down the stairs. you breathed out softly and relaxed, exchanging a glance with shauna.

“shit, that was close,” she whispered, exhaling sharply and slowly letting go of your hair, her other hand still resting gently on your hip.

"yeah, too close," you murmured quietly. “let's just stay silent,” you suggested.

“good luck with that,” she replied cheekily before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. she moved both hands down to the middle of your thighs, opening your legs wide and holding them in that position with her palms.

with her thick cock still inside you, but unmoving, she teasingly slid one of her hands towards your center and started to slowly toy with and pinch your swollen clit with her thumb.

“oh, fu—” you began, but she quickly hushed you with her lips, giving you a deep, bruising tongue kiss.

her calloused thumb continued drawing incessant circles around your throbbing nub. by the time your legs started twitching, indicating your urge to close them together, she swiftly returned her hand to its original position on your thigh, keeping them wide open, and began thrusting into you with harsh movements.

despite the tightness of your walls, her cock slid smoothly in and out, coated with your abundant wetness. her hot center pulsed with each firm thrust, pressing against her clitoris. she penetrated you so deeply that you could almost see your belly skin pushing from the outside. each time her tip pushed onto your sensitive spot, your eyes rolled back, and both your moans were muffled by her tongue, which melted against yours.

your arms were wrapped so tightly around her neck that you were almost choking her, your lungs desperate for air but unwilling to let go of her. she momentarily let go of your legs, lifting the white shirt under her flannel and tucking half of it behind her head to keep it out of the way. resuming her rapid thrusts, you could now feel the toned skin of her lower abdomen slapping against your clitoris with each motion.

“enjoying yourself?” she asked breathlessly with a half-smile, her mouth finding its way back to yours once more.

you could only manage a muffled response, unable to form words. you placed your hands under her bra and began to play with her nipples, squeezing her breasts as you pinched them between your fingers.

“mmh– that feels good,” she husked out, prompting you to pinch her nipples even harder. her movements started to get sloppy, but it felt so good that she was trying her hardest not to cum yet. she removed her hands from your thighs, instead, holding you closer by resting one hand against the top of the drawer next to your thigh, and the other one pushing you closer by wrapping it around your lower back.

you tried to help her by matching her rhythm, moving your hips against hers. sliding your hands to her back, you held her by the shoulder blades for stability. once you had a good grip, you increased your pace against her.

nuzzling her face against the crook of your neck, she maintained her relentless pace. the room echoed with the sounds of her grunts and the slapping of skin as she pounded as hard as she could. it didn't take long before both of you reached climax. with one final, deep thrust, you felt her faux white cum filling you up, and you both rode out your orgasms together. she softly collapsed on top of you, her weight keeping you pressed against the drawer.

loosening your strong hold on her shoulders, you now held her gently as both of you caught your breath.

after a few moments of silence, she gently disengaged from the embrace and stood upright. "we should probably get back now…" she said, her voice still a little hoarse from all the grunting.

“right,” you replied softly. with that, you slowly got up, stretching out the discomfort in your hips and back. you both dressed in silence and once you were both finished, shauna opened the closet door, motioning for you to go out first.

“looks like chivalry isn’t dead,” you joked awkwardly, making her smile.

the both of you made your way downstairs, and she couldn’t help but notice the way you walked, slowly and a little clumsily, causing her to chuckle. upon reaching the bottom, a round of applause greeted you, courtesy of lottie, van, and nat, who were comfortably seated on the couches directly in front of you.

“and now,” van declared, her red cup serving as an improvised megaphone, “i present to everyone the official champions of seven minutes in heaven!” she glanced at lottie, who was busy checking her watch. “breaking the previous record of…” van paused dramatically.

“forty-five minutes and thirty-eight seconds,” lottie declared, raising her eyebrows in genuine surprise.

you rolled your eyes at them, trying to hold back the smile tugging at your lips. “like you didn’t sit in that circle just to get into laura lee’s celibate ass pants,” you retorted to lottie.

“fine,” lottie admitted with a grin, “but let’s not forget who willingly spent over half an hour in the closet with their mortal nemesis,” she defended herself.

van, still using her red cup as a makeshift megaphone, leaned forward with a mischievous grin. "so, shauna, was it everything you dreamed of, or should we recommend a more skilled partner next time?"

shauna narrowed her eyes slightly at van's playful snark. in the past, she would’ve likely scoffed and rolled her eyes in response, but now, there was a hint of amusement lurking behind them.

"she was okay," she replied nonchanlantly, a smirk on her face as she shot a teasing glance at you. "she's not so bad when she keeps her mouth shut," she joked, making everyone laugh in surprise.

“okay,” you interjected, feeling a bit sheepish with a blush on your face, “i’m heading to the kitchen for some water,” you announced before striding away.

you heard van's voice crackle on with her red cup, "we want all the details later!" she shouted, causing the whole group to burst into laughter, making you grin with embarrassment.

as you made your way towards the kitchen, the party noise faded into the background. you grabbed a glass of water, and while you took a much-needed sip, you heard footsteps approaching.

shauna joined you by the sink, grabbing a glass of water and taking a sip before turning to look at you. her eyes met yours and lingered for a moment before she spoke.

"so," she began as she leaned against the counter, “jeff’s taking jackie home tonight. do you need a lift home?” she asked, her big eyes staring at you attentively.

“oh, don’t worry about it,” you stammered nervously, “i can just tag along with lottie or tai.”

“i don’t mind, really,” she insisted, her dark eyes lingering on your lips before meeting your gaze again. you felt your heart pounding in your chest. the way she was looking at you was making it hard to think straight, and your body was getting all warm and tingly.

“well–“ you began, but before you knew it, she approached you and gently took hold of your chin. drawing you closer, her lips met yours. they were tender yet firm, and your breath was steady as you whispered, “i wouldn’t mind either.”

you allowed her to lead the kiss, her tongue making deliberate moves between your lips. her hands cradled the back of your head, fingers entwining in your hair as she drew her body closer to yours.

a soft whimper escaped you, arms wrapping around her waist. the heat inside you intensified as your bodies pressed together. her tongue explored your mouth, breath growing heavy as she tugged at the hem of your shirt. shauna lifted her leg slightly, wrapping her thigh around yours to pull you even closer. urgency filled her movements, her pulse quickening, and her breath became shallow. suddenly, she pulled away, looking up. “maybe we should go,” she whispered, her breath catching momentarily as her heart thumped against her chest.

“yeah, we should,” you mumbled, still dazed by the intensity of the kiss. your brain was foggy, struggling to process what had just happened.

exiting the party, the two of you strolled towards the car. shauna opened the front seat’s door and motioned for you to get in. you took a quick glance at the other guests, but luckily, none of your friends seemed to be paying attention to you two. you climbed into the passenger seat, and shauna closed the door behind you.

it was quiet inside the car, only shauna’s soft music played. she glanced your way from time to time, a teasing glint in her big eyes. you couldn’t help but notice her gaze, and a smile crept across your face as your heart beat faster. each exchange seemed to thicken the air, causing your cheeks to burn.

approaching your destination, shauna slowed down. the road became dark outside the car, the streetlights casting a dim glow over the pavement, which turned into the driveway. she brought the car to a halt and turned to face you. you sat there, waiting for her to say something, but neither one of you spoke. her big dark eyes were fixed on yours, her expression soft and curious.

"um, so…" you mumbled, looking down for a moment before meeting her gaze again. “thanks for the ride,” you said.

"yeah, anytime," she replied softly, her eyes lingering on yours a moment longer before refocusing on the road ahead. taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat, adjusting her grip on the wheel as you reached for the door handle.

"wait," shauna intervened before you could open the door. gently grabbing your arm, she turned you towards her. warm eyes locked onto yours, and her breath seemed to catch as she sought the right words. you couldn't help but notice the soft, delicate features of her face and the way her eyes seemed to glimmer with affection. "i was wondering…" she began, her voice soft and unsure. the tension in the air heightened as her words hung there. "can i call you sometime?" her voice was barely a whisper, and her gaze seemed shy.

"i- yeah, of course," you replied softly, feeling your heart skip a beat as you gave her a soft smile. you had never imagined this kind of interaction with her, but now that it was happening, it felt right.

"how about this weekend?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"yeah, i'd like that," you responded, giving her a gentle nod. shauna's face lit up, and she gently squeezed your hand before unlocking the car doors.

exiting the car, you bid shauna goodnight and made your way into your house, the sound of her car fading as you closed the front door behind you. racing upstairs, you burst into your room and leaped onto your bed, burying your face in the pillow.

you lay there for a few minutes with our heart was racing, feeling butterflies fluttering all over as you replayed the night’s events in your head.

finally, you rolled over onto your back, allowing yourself a moment to catch your breath. however, your peace was soon interrupted by a tapping sound at your window.

you sat up immediately, surprised by the sudden noise. you cautiously walked toward it to check what it was.

as you got closer to the window, you could see shauna, leaning against the fence below it, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket. you noticed that her face was upturned to your direction, eyes fixed on you, her breath fogging the glass.

without thinking twice, you scrambled to open the window. "what are you doing here?" you asked, meeting her eyes.

for a moment, she didn't respond, her cheeks flushed and her breathing steadying. yet, her gaze remained focused on you, and her mouth had curled into a small smile. "i wanted to see you one more time before the night is over," she answered, her voice soft. "mind if i come up?" she added.

you replied instantly, "yeah, sure, come on up."

as she climbed the exterior walls of your house, you took a deep breath and opened the window wide enough for her to enter. upon reaching the window frame, she met your gaze, your faces inches apart.

"you could have just knocked on the front door, you know?" you teased, biting down a smile.

shauna shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. "can't a girl be romantic anymore?" she quipped with a smirk.

"oh, is that what this is?" you mocked, giving her a teasing look. "you breaking into my window in the middle of the night? romantic would’ve been knocking on the front door with flowers."

"i don't know, climbing up the building, clinging to a fence, and sneaking into your window seemed pretty romantic to me," shauna replied with a smirk, her hands gripping the window edges.

"shauna, i live in a one-story house," you chuckled softly.

"well, my point still stands," she playfully retorted, rolling her eyes at you. "and your windows are abnormally high, my arms are aching," she added.

“oh, sorry,” you said, stepping aside for her to enter.

"it’s fine," she replied, stepping inside. however, her footing slipped, and she tumbled onto you, sending both of you into laughter as you landed on the floor.

you sensed her warm breath near your neck, her hair gently brushing against your face. your bodies were close, and her arms wrapped around your waist. you couldn't help but notice how close she was, and how good she felt against you. her deep eyes looked up at you, her lips forming a slight smile. gazing back at her, you timidly slid your hand across the floor until it found hers, intertwining your fingers. she locked her hands with yours, and both of you held the gaze for what seemed like an eternity.

"can i kiss you?" she whispered, her eyes searching yours for the answer.

your heart raced, and your blood rushed through your veins.

"yes," you replied softly, and she leaned in, placing her hands on your cheeks as her lips met yours.

your lips parted as she kissed you softly, her lips tender and soft. it was nothing like the fierce way she had kissed you at the party. her tongue explored your mouth with deft and practiced movements, and as you pulled her closer, she leaned into you, holding you tightly.

as you pulled away, your lips were aching to feel her again. “stay the night?” you asked her.

her soft, dark eyes locked onto yours, her breath quickened and her cheeks flushed slightly. you held each other's gaze until she finally spoke.

"i’d love that."

[shaunamilfman]

yellowjackets + affection headcanons

pairing: Shauna Shipman x r, Jackie Taylor x r, Lottie Matthews x r, Natalie Scatorccio x r note: seperatelyyyyy.

Shauna Shipman

very subtle demonstrations of affection. she’s definitely not a fan of over-the-top displays of PDA, preferring to express her feelings through her actions. show, don’t tell type.

does a lot of small things like making your favorite meal, leaving you little notes, and letting you pick what to watch even if it’s not your turn.

a lot of what she does isn’t especially romantic in nature, though it’s not to say that she doesn’t have her moment, but it’s always demonstrative that you’re special to her in some way or another.

very clingy, but not necessarily in public. she really likes to sit flush against you on the couch, the entirety of her side pressed against yours as she rests her head against yours. 

she’s a big fan of just laying together, even if you’re not necessarily intending on going to sleep. running her fingers across your skin absentmindedly as you lay together on the couch.

gives you compliments almost as if they’re an afterthought, but they’re always so sincere that you know she’s put actual thought into them even if she pretends otherwise.

drunk Shauna or jealous Shauna is all over you, though. she sees someone breathe in your direction and nearly jumps the couch to get over to you.

she’s so protective of you, even over the smallest things. imagined injustices are too much for her. tell her Nat was mean to you in a dream, and her ass is glaring at her the next time she sees her.

she’s always watching you in one way or another. sometimes it’s because she's being possessive, but she mostly just likes to know that you’re okay. any time you’re separated at the same event, you can relax knowing Shauna knows exactly where you are at any moment.

Shauna Shipman will not forget a date. she knows every milestone of your relationship and could list off the day they happened. she’s kind of cheating because her ass is going straight home and writing in her journal about it the day it happens, so she can always check back to the date.

Jackie Taylor

likes to make your life easier any way she can. unfortunately, Jackie’s ideas of what would make your life easier aren’t always exactly true. but she’s trying, and that’s the important part, right? sure, you spent twenty minutes trying to figure out how she reorganized your kitchen, but she did it with love.

queen of PDA. she’s all over you all the time. her ass will climb you like a tree in public. absolutely does not understand that there’s a time and a place for all that, but who would want her to?

always, always, always holding your hand. tries to pull your hand off the wheel at every single stoplight because it’s been sooooo long. kisses your cheek any time you’ve done anything that made her even the slightest bit happy, or also just because. she’s not picky.

no one on Earth will talk you up more than Jackie Taylor. she’s showering you with compliments, both to your face and to anyone who will listen to her talk about you. they’re all so genuine too.

plans the most complex dates you’ve ever seen. truthfully, they’re mostly for her own benefit, but you always have a good time anyway. she will expect to hear how impressed you were with whatever she planned out at length. she needs the reassurance.

so physically affectionate. hand-holding where she just plays with your fingers while watching TV. anytime you’re lying down, trust that Jackie will be climbing on top of you and staying there. falls asleep on top of you, and you’re stuck there till she wakes up.

listens very intently whenever you talk, but eventually her eyes always end up falling to your lips. she’s just a girl.

she’s so playfully mean to you. always gently poking fun at something you’re doing as she skips up next to you and presses the entirety of her body against your back.

so incredibly possessive. god forbid you even look in someone else's direction or it’s on. as much as she craves your attention on her all the time, it truly is just the way she cares for you.

quality time!!! your ass isn’t going anywhere.

Lottie Matthews

Lottie’s trying to get you lore dropping on the first date for sure. she’s very emotionally aware and enjoys the intimacy of sharing secrets and feelings between the two of you.

loves to take care of you. she hates when you’re sick but also loves to smother you in love and care whenever you are. definitely confesses it to you guiltily one day like it’s a grievous sin.

stocks her cabinets with things that you like. walking around the store with a little list of everything she’s ever seen you eat before you stay over for the first time.

forces the nastiest herbal teas on you for your "health.”.

gives you so many gifts. most of them are just small little trinkets that remind her of you, but they’re always so thoughtful in nature. remembers anything you’ve ever mentioned being interested in or looked at when out at shops.

the type to drop in while you’re studying all day with a snack because she knows you forgot to eat. pulling you out of your chair to get up and dance with her because you haven’t moved from your desk in four hours. pulling your headphones off your ears and dragging you to bed because you have to get up in six hours.

she’s so physical touch. Lottie’s always touching you in some way or another. just small touches mostly: brushes of her fingers across her arm as you walk past her, fingers intertwined as you walk around whatever market she’s dragged you to today, her thumb against your face as she rubs off the tiniest speck of dirt, brushing hair out of your face as you talk animatedly.

good luck getting Lottie’s head off of your shoulder. doesn’t matter if you’re standing or laying down. she’s zeroing in on it immediately.

Natalie Scatorrcio

not traditionally affectionate in the slightest. she’s very awkward with it at the best of times. epitome of like, “I dunno, you’re cool, or whatever,” while kicking the toe of her shoe against the dirt and avoiding eye contact. does not have any experience with giving or receiving affection at all.

she blushes to her ears at even the slightest hint of love or care once you get closer. girl does not know what to do with herself; she's so stressed.

it takes forever for Nat to tell you anything personal about her life. so when she finally does start talking that vulnerability is a major sign of her affection for you.

quality time where you sit together and do separate things. sitting on opposite sides of the couch while Nat keeps sneaking looks at you whenever she thinks you’re not paying attention.

she’s not great at comforting you while you’re upset, but she’ll always listen for as long as you want to talk about it.

so incredibly loyal and protective. she’s not even letting rightful criticism of you go. at least when other people say it. argues with someone for twenty minutes about something you did, but the second you’re alone she’s like, “that was so lame.”

she’s really physically affectionate in public, but not in the traditional sense. bumps your shoulders together a lot while giving you that crooked grin of hers, taps her foot against yours under the table, that sort of thing. in private, I think she would like more full-body contact stuff like cuddling than handholding or stuff of that nature.

Nat’s the type to drop you off at the front of the store when it’s raining while she parks the car. always walks on the curbside of the sidewalk so that car “hits her instead." always tries to open the door for you even when it’s inconvenient (think rushing around the car).

definitely the type to present you with pretty rocks she found and grins stupidly whenever she sees it sitting on a shelf at your place.

likes to try to fix things around your house.

[mamaodeeznuts]

naveen has to be the chillest most nonchalant guy in all of new orleans. he’s really just down to vibe through whatever nonsense is happening around him. tiana spends the movie losing her whole entire mind over everything that’s going on (being turned into a frog, suddenly being able to talk to animals, having the urge to eat bugs, et cetera) while naveen just. Does Not Care. the only time we see him as anything other than calm, cool, and collected is when he thinks he’s about to die or when it’s something concerning tiana (trying to propose to her, seeing his doppelgänger mid wedding to lottie, trying to get himself turned human so he can get tiana her dream restaurant). he’s just immediately down for whatever else happens. what kind of life did this dude lead to where being turned into a frog by a shadowy voodoo man was just no big thing to him? tiana is straight up screaming crying and throwing up the whole time and naveen is next to her like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just another tuesday afternoon for me. it be like that sometimes” and continuing on his merry little way. sir you have been turned into a FROG

[takenbypeter]

Hi! I LOVED your Wonka x reader fic! Could I maybe request something?? Maybe one where she's the last one stuck in the laundry after everyone else gets rescued and he needs to go back for her? I love angst and fluff haha

All good if not! Love you

Trapped In Your Own Thoughts

Willy Wonka x reader

Words: 961

I am loving all the Wonka love I'm seeing, every time I write for a new character I wonder if anyone will actually request for them so seeing people request for Willy Wonka truly makes me heart melt

Abacus, Piper, Larry Chucklesworth, Lottie Bell, Noodle and you stood in a straight line across from Mrs.Scrubbit as she peered from behind the counter. 

What you thought was going to be a tiresome scolding from the woman turned into something unexpected as she laid pounds of money out on the table. She first stated how Mr.Wonka had settled a deal with Mr.Slugworth covering all your bills. And one by one she went down the line addressing every individual until it was just you and Noodle left. 

“It’s funny,” Scrubbit says as she stares at the last pile in front of her before glaring directly at you, “Mr.Slugworth didn’t seem to leave a single sovereign for you. Guess you're not important eh?”

You stilled, unable to believe your own ears as Scrubbit smirked at your disheartened reaction. “…this must be some sort of mistake,” you muttered before getting cut off. 

“—No mistake at all,” she grinned a toothy grin, “in fact your name didn’t come up at all. So don’t just stand there. Back to work with you,” she ushers and stunned you look around trying to wake yourself from this nightmare that you found yourself trapped in. 

“Go.”

With a wave of her hand, you walked past them shutting the door behind you. “Now, for our dearest Noodle…” you heard her voice fade away as you walked to the laundry room in a daze.

You could not believe this was happening. Of course this would happen to you. You shook your head unable to stop the thoughts from swirling as you walked down the hallway past all the now empty rooms, past your own room until you came to the laundry doors. 

Climbing down the steps and looking around at the now lifeless room, it was impossible for you to do anything but dwell on the whole situation. 

You were stuck here. Alone. 

Being here with a group was one thing but alone? That was something you wouldn’t ever wish upon your greatest enemy, (that is if you had one). 

This had to be an error. Why would everyone else be free except for you? It didn’t make any sense. 

Then your mind slipped back to what Mrs.Scrubbit said about Willy making the deal. 

Did he know you were to stay back? No he couldn’t have. Right? Right. You tried to assure yourself before you even had the chance to doubt him any further. That man was too good and too precious for him to accept this deal knowing you’d continue to be held captive like this.

You went back and forth, replaying Mrs.Scrubbit’s words, trying to figure out what could’ve happened. 

Was Mrs.Scrubbit right? Were you just unimportant?

Your mind goes back to those few late evening conversations that you’ve shared with Willy. It was kind of silly for you to think anything from that. It was foolish in general for you to think so much of the young man, especially when you’ve only known him for a short period. But you couldn’t help but feel hurt. 

Was it that easy to forget you and move on?

Maybe all those experiences just meant something to you.

You could only grind your teeth as you dove deeper and deeper into your self deprecating thoughts. It was difficult to pull yourself out when there was nothing else or knowone else to distract you.

Your thoughts silenced as a screaming pile of bedsheets fell down the chute landing with a hard thud.

The fabric shifted and you spotted familiar brown curls pop out followed by Willy’s head. “I can’t wait for that to be over,” you heard him say as he grunted while climbing out from the chute.

“Willy…” you let out, more surprised than anything to see him. 

“Come with me, we’re getting you out of here,” he declared, running up to you without wasting a beat, “we already gathered everyone else, so let’s go.”

He runs back to the chute, waving for you to come over and you do so. Willy prepares an empty cloth bag as well as some laundry so you have a gentler landing and he then pats the empty spot. 

You prop yourself up occupying the chute and with your legs bent you hug them close as he scrambles to tug the bag up over your legs.

Thinking about it now, your wandering beliefs were all so idiotic, but for some reason in that moment, you couldn’t stop them from slipping past your lips.

“I thought you were going to leave me behind,” you chuckled. 

You meant for it to sound as just a childish passing statement but Willy immediately paused his movements, his arms coming to rest on both sides of the chute around your legs. 

“I’d never leave you behind,” he voiced.

It was impossible to stop a tiny shy smile from spreading onto your lips, “yeah, I know but, I don’t know it was just a passing thought.”

“Hey,” he lowered himself to meet you at eye level as you sat, “I would never leave you behind,” he repeated his statement from earlier, his tone soft and delicate yet firm.

It was a simple phrase, but coming from him it meant something to you. 

A new concern popped into your head, “wait, what about the contract?” You questioned, suddenly worried about the consequences that would follow. 

Willy replied with a smile that told you he already had an answer ready, “don’t worry about that, we have a plan.”

You nodded, allowing yourself to trust the boy before he wrapped your head tying a simple knot.

“I’ll see you on the other side,” he said, giving your leg an affectionate pat before sending you on your way out.

[daisyblog]

Big Brother, Little Sister

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN, Harry and Grace find out Baby Burton is going to be a girl.

Based on this request.

“I think boy”. Harry spoke as he continue to prepare his and YN’s breakfast. Moving around the kitchen like routine.

“You’re wrong, they’re having a girl!”. YN politely argued back as Grace was asleep next to her in her bouncer.

“Boy!”.

“Girl!”.

“Boy!”

“Girl!”.

The pair went back and forth for a while, determined that they were correct. A smirk appeared on YN’s face, one that made Harry panic inside because that particular smirk meant she was up to something.

“Wanna make a bet?”. YN was confident in her feeling that Lottie was having a baby girl, but the look on Harry’s face suggested that when he didn’t answer straight away that he wasn’t. “Not so confident now are ya bubs?”.

Knowing he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he said not to the bet, he gave in. “Fine…let’s make a bet, Mrs Sassy!”.

YN’s smirk only got bigger as she looked at her husband with mischief. “Okay…if I’m right and they’re having a girl”. YN thought carefully at what Harry would have to do if he was wrong. “You have to post on instagram!”.

To some the bet would seem easy, they would say that Harry had the better option. But Harry hardly used social media, especially for personal use. His instagram was very professional these days and was only used for work purposes, and before posting anything he would think about it carefully.

Harry stared back at his wife with a ‘really?’ look. When YN nodded to show she was serious about the bet, he knew he had to take the chance. “Fine…but I get to chose what I post!”.

“Sounds like you think I’m right…shall we just end the bet here?”. YN couldn’t help but laugh as she continued to wind her husband up.

“Oh no…I have a bet for you too my love!”. YN wasn’t overly concerned about it, she was for the challenge but the minute Harry mentioned two words, one and direction, she began to pray that she was right. “If they’re having a boy…you have to stop asking when One Direction are getting back together!”.

YN was going to find that difficult to do, she asked multiple times a week. But not wanting to show her weak side now, she gave Harry a big grin. “Bets on Styles!”.

---

YN paced for what felt like hours as she waited for her phone to ping with a message from Lottie. Today was the day they found out if their were having another niece or nephew.

Although Lottie and Lewis wanted to share their gender reveal with both their families at the same time, with everyone living in different areas or having other commitments, they decided they would share the moment with a small video.

The sound of YN’s phone pinging, caught both their attention. She quickly swiped and tapped the screen before clicking play on the video.

The cream cake with ‘baby’ written across it could be seen as a slice was being cut out, and the minute pink icing came into view, YN jumped from her seat.

“IT’S A GIRL!”. She bounced around the room, a large grin on her face, showing off her pearly white teeth. “We’re having a niece…it’s a girl…Grace you’re gonna have a little girl cousin”.

YN jumped into Harry’s arms as he held her tight, sharing the excitement of another little one joining their growing family. Agreeing they needed to FaceTime Lottie immediately to share their excitement, YN had one question for Harry.

“Do you need help using Instagram?”.

harrystyles

liked by annetwist, ynstyles and 5,723.091 others

harrystyles Wife. Daughter. My World. View all 9,621 comments

annetwist What a beautiful wife and daughter you have💕

lottietomlinson ❤️

louist91 Did YN post this?🤔 ⌞louisfan9 😂😂 ⌞ynstyles No you cheeky shit! My husband loves me💁🏼‍♀️ ⌞ynrryfan3 I miss tour days when we would get constant yn and louis updates 😢

niallhoran Oh Styles you big sap

gemmastyles Sister-in-Law. Niece. My Favourites. ⌞harryfan6 Not Gemma taking the piss out of Harry’s caption😂😂😂

harryfan7 Harry’s first of the year and it’s of yn and grace🥹🥹🥹

jonnyharvey93 Cute photo mate! Can’t wait to see you all soon!!

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats@harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour@bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl@buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream@treehouse-mouse @mrs-anna-styles211994 @macy-tpwk

[megalony]

You Keep Me Safe

Okay, this is my first imagine for S.W.A.T and it's for Luca, I just had to get this idea out my head. I hope you'll all enjoy it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @loveyouamory

Swat Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: While out with the kids, someone tries to take (Y/n) and Luca's daughter. When they go to Swat and Luca finds out what happened, he isn't pleased.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile graced (Y/n)'s lips as she looked around the park, keeping an eye out to see where the kids had scarpered off to.

She could see Lottie sat on the swings on the other side of the play park while Jake was sharpening his skills on the climbing wall, trying to see how fast he could make it up to the top. He was definitely taking after his dad.

(Y/n) kept her eyes on the pair of them while she headed to the baby swing and gently eased her one year old down into the seat. He immediately patted his hands down against the plastic bar in front of him and started to kick his legs. Babbling happily as the pacifier dropped and hung round his tummy since it was clipped to his top.

"Here we go, baby." She began slowly pushing him back and forth, kissing his head every time he swayed back towards her.

It had been a while since she had brought the kids to the park, just the four of them. Whenever they went out with Annie and Deacon's kids, they ended up walking along the beach or heading around town. And when Luca had a day off, they usually ended up on the park closer to home where there was a track for running and training.

After a while, (Y/n) lifted Billy from the swing and set him down to his feet, staying close as he plodded in front of her. He wasn't the best at walking yet, he kicked his legs out straight rather than bending his knees, but he was surprisingly fast.

She followed him over to the smaller, plastic climbing frame that was more for toddlers and more his height.

"Wanna go down the slide?" Jake jogged over to them and held his hand out for his younger brother, grinning widely when Billy took his hand.

He lifted Billy up the steps and guided him over to the slide, sitting the toddler between his legs so they could go down the slide together. The sight made (Y/n) smile and she snapped a quick photo, noticing just how much both boys seemed to resemble Luca in lots of little ways. From how their eyes creased when they smiled to the way their noses crinkled when they laughed.

"Didn't dad get stuck on the slide once at the play centre?" Jake tilted his head to the side, looking over at (Y/n) quizzically while she made sure Lottie was okay on the zipline in the corner.

She looked back at her boys and grinned, thinking hard about what her nine year old was referring to.

"Oh, yeah, aunt Chris had to help him get out of there." A smile lit up (Y/n)'s face at the memory that thought provoked.

She could remember Luca panicking in the play centre. Everyone told him he was too tall and broad to go down the slides, but he wanted to go with the kids because Jake wouldn't go anywhere without at least one of his parents. And (Y/n) had been pregnant at the time. Luca went down the slide and ended up stuck halfway down. Chris had been the only one in the group slim enough to help him out.

(Y/n) had honestly thought she might have to call Hondo or get the emergency services to break the slide and free her husband. What a sight and event that would have caused.

(Y/n) folded her arms over her chest and watched the boys go down the slide another two times before Jake started playing hide and seek with Billy. The toddler started to squeal, slamming his feet down as he trotted around the bottom of the slide.

Leaning back, (Y/n) looked across at the zipline but her smile morphed into a frown when she couldn't see Lottie there anymore.

Where had she got to now?

She held her hand out towards Billy and leaned down to take his hand, guiding him with her while she nodded for Jake to follow them.

Her eyes cast around the park, looking between the other parents and the few kids scattered around running from swing to swing with glee. What was Lottie up to? Where had she disappeared to? (Y/n) liked to keep them all within her sights in case they wandered and tried to talk to strangers or ended up falling off of something and hurting themselves.

Jake was an accident prone and Lottie was a drifter living in a daydream. It wasn't the best combination without parental supervision.

"Where's Lottie?" (Y/n) gave a tug on Billy's hand and smiled as he looked around as if he could spot his sister any quicker.

A shiver crawled down (Y/n)'s spine at the shrill scream that tore through the air and her gut knew that was her daughter.

She spun on her heels and looked around, unsure where the noise was coming from and she could barely control her breathing enough to scour through the play park to find her daughter. Her eyes finally locked on a familiar crop of hair and the red and purple polka dot dress she had gotten Lottie into this morning. As quick as anything, (Y/n) leaned down and scooped Billy up from the floor and headed off in a sprint, Jake right at her side, neither of them sure what was happening.

The panic (Y/n) felt seemed to flicker off in all directions, sparking different thoughts and questions.

She could see Lottie, she was laid on her side in front of the metal fence that surrounded the perimeter of the park. She was inches away from the gate which was hanging open, the hinges creaking awfully and grating through (Y/n)'s ears when she got closer.

"Baby what happened?" (Y/n) turned and stood Billy in front of Jake who reached down and held him by the shoulders so the toddler wouldn't try and wander off. The boys stood a few feet to the left, still close enough for Jake to reach out and hold his mum's shoulder if he felt the need.

He watched his mum go down on her knees in front of his sister, waiting for an explanation as other parents started to look in their direction.

(Y/n) could feel her heart hammering away in her chest and all the blood seemed to fizzle out of her hands and feet and flood her chest and stomach instead. Adrenaline fueled through her abdomen and made butterflies crawl up her chest when Lottie howled.

The five year old pushed up from where she was lying on the floor and immediately crawled onto her mother's lap. She bound her arms around (Y/n)'s waist and burrowed her face into her stomach, sobbing so loudly and sharply that (Y/n) felt as if she was the one screaming instead of her daughter.

"Baby what's the matter, did you fall?"

Leaning down, she pressed her lips against the top of Lottie's head and curled her arms around her. But she didn't like the way her daughter was trembling against her.

"T-the man…"

"What? What man?"

When she didn't get a response, (Y/n) leaned over and gripped Lottie beneath her arms. She hoisted her up and moved her so she was sat on her knees instead with one hand on Lottie's waist and the other rubbing up and down her back.

The little girl was taking shallow, bubbling breaths, mixing between crying and screaming which was starting to put (Y/n) on edge.

"Sweetie talk to me, what man?"

"D-don't know… t-the man asked me t-to go with him." Lottie feebly pointed behind her towards the gate that was beginning to slow to a stop, vaguely creaking on the old rusted hinges.

(Y/n)'s head snapped up and she looked around, but she couldn't see any man close by. The only people outside of the playground was an older couple walking their dog and a young mother with two children headed down the path towards the park. Whoever the man was, he had clearly left in a hurry which made (Y/n) suddenly feel worse.

He must have been running at some speed to disappear across the grass or down the path and out of sight. Why had be asked Lottie to leave with him? What did he want with (Y/n)'s daughter? What had he tried to do to her?

"I said no, a-and he pulled my hair." Lottie lifted her head and moved a shaking hand to the right side of her head.

Terror ransacked (Y/n)'s body when she realised there was a small scratch of blood on the side of Lottie's head.

Her hands reached out and cupped her daughter's face, tilting her head down so she could look at her properly but it felt like ice cold spikes were cutting through (Y/n)'s chest. There were at least three scratches along Lottie's temple that went up into her hairline. The two plats (Y/n) had braided into her hair were now coming loose and looked obscure like Lottie had been dragged through a bush.

Whoever it was had tried to grab her by her hair to make her leave. He had scratched her head and pulled on her hair so harshly a clump of hair had come loose.

Someone had tried to kidnap her daughter.

"What happened to your hand?" (Y/n) asked quietly when she noticed Lottie's left hand was starting to swell. When she reached out to try and touch it, Lottie pulled back with a howl and cradled her hand to her chest.

"Trapped it i-in the gate, when he grabbed my hair… mummy I s-said no."

Tears rolled down (Y/n)'s face before she could stop them. She pressed her lips together so tightly her upper lip started to cut against her teeth and she swiped her hand across her face, wiping away the tears.

If Lottie hadn't tried to say no or if she didn't reach out for the gate or make a fuss, she would have been gone by now. (Y/n) would have been on a frantic search for her daughter. She would be scouring the park with her boys, desperately trying to find Lottie and if the man had a car, the possibilities of what could have happened were endless.

The man had fled. (Y/n) wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He had gone, he wasn't going to terrorise her children any longer. But now they had no chance of finding him. He could try again. He could try and take another child. He could see Lottie in the street or in a different park and try his luck. He might get her if he tried again.

Each breath (Y/n) tried to take hitched higher and higher until she was barely breathing at all and her sight was fading into tunnel vision.

Her arms bound around Lottie and she attached her daughter to her chest, holding her with one arm while her other arm looped around Jake. She stood to her feet, tugging Jake with her who kept his hands on Billy's shoulders, guiding the oblivious toddler along with them.

"Mum?"

"We're leaving." Cold tremors rattled through (Y/n) as she watched Jake closely as he picked Billy up so they could move faster.

"Are we going to see dad?" Jake whispered, unsure whether he was okay to talk or whether his mum was on a mission and was going to go mute in her state of panic.

"Yes. Stay close, stay right next to me." (Y/n) was grateful that Jake clipped Billy into the chair so she didn't have to set Lottie down.

She didn't know what to do.

This had never happened before. None of the kids had ever been hurt or almost kidnapped like this. It was a lucky escape that the stranger hadn't run off with Lottie and that she hadn't gotten hurt more than this. (Y/n) had all three of her children safe and relatively unharmed, but she couldn't stay here. They had to leave. They had to talk to the police.

They had to talk to Luca.

Was this why (Y/n) always felt safer going out with Luca?

It was no secret that no one gave them a second look when Luca was with them. He was like an omen. Almost six foot tall with a broad muscular frame and he was always near his family, looming like a shadow that no one wanted to mess with.

Would that man have tried to take Lottie if Luca had been down here with them? Of course he wouldn't. Luca was a threat, he was built and muscular and could give anyone a run for their money in a chase. He was a member of Swat, Luca could outrun most people and give a good chase and he knew how to tackle someone down and restrain them. If he was here he might have been able to find whoever had done this.

(Y/n) felt Jake lean his head on her arm and move closer to her side, suddenly mute and afraid, feeling as small as a mouse. His boysterous, outgoing personality died down immediately and he tried not to shake as the two of them were almost running towards the car.

Someone had tried to snatch his sister. What would his mum have done if they succeeded? Would the police have come down and done a search and rescue for her? Would his dad and his team have come down to the park to search for Lottie? Would they have found her? What would happen in their family if they didn't get Lottie back?

***

"Hey, look who's rolled into town." A smile lit up Chris's face and she held her hands out at her sides when she spotted familiar faces wandering through the gym.

She sped up her steps towards Jake who was walking in front, pushing the pram with Billy who looked like he was either waking up for a nap or about to go take one.

'Look at my nephews,' was on the tip of her tongue and about to roll off, until she noticed the look on the nine year old's face. He looked panic-stricken. His eyes were sunken and rapidly darting around the squad base as if he didn't feel safe or didn't know what to expect. Not like he had been coming here since he was a baby.

And when Chris looked towards (Y/n), she could tell something was off with her too. (Y/n) had tears stained down her face and her eyes kept adverting down to the floor like she was too nervous to look Chris in the eye. Her right arm was wrapped around Lottie who was visibly shaking, tucking herself into her mother's leg like she wanted to disappear. And Chris realised the five year old was quietly whimpering and was shedding hundreds of tears.

"What's wrong?" Chris leaned down and let Jake barrell into her and bind himself against her front like he was seeking her protection.

Chris considered herself close to everyone on the squad, but she was especially close to Luca. He was like a brother to her and they were close enough that Chris was godmother to all three of his children.

"Is Luca around? I know you're busy, but I- I need to speak to him."

"Yeah, yeah he's in the back." She pointed behind her before she looked between Jake and the push chair. "Wanna show me your skills in the ring, little man?" She looked down at Jake and pointed to the boxing ring up ahead, Jake usually liked to spar with anyone on the team who would let him when he came to visit.

He gingerly nodded, still clinging tight to her even as she tried to guide him over to the ring and moved the push chair so Billy could watch them or doze off to sleep, whatever the toddler preferred.

"Hey, my troop's here!" A grin spread across Luca's face and he clapped, jumping with his next step as he jogged ahead of Deacon when his eyes set on the boxing ring and saw Jake. If his eldest was here that meant all three kids would be here. That meant (Y/n) would be here.

(Y/n) locked her eyes on her husband but she gasped and jolted forward when Lottie let go of her hand and bolted. The five year old got a burst of energy from somewhere and surged forward, making a beeline for Luca.

He bent down and stretched his arms out, not getting a clear view of his daughter before she barrelled into him like a bowling ball trying to knock him down. Her arms bound around his neck and she slammed into his chest, deadlocking her legs around his waist, clinging to him like a monkey. And Luca obliged, curving his arms around her as he stood back up.

"Hey girlie… what's wrong, why the tears?" His lips attached to her cheek, but his broad smile began to fade when he realised Lottie was crying. Her face was hot and sticky with tears and she started to gasp and mewl into his neck, unable to catch a proper breath because of the tears streaming down her face.

When Luca tried to lean back and get a proper look at her, she hid her face in his neck which made him frown. He could feel his heart fluttering against his ribs, thudding out a fast paced beat as he wondered what was going on.

Whenever the kids came to the squad they were all excited and bubbly and loud. They would find Luca and hug him, then they would filter around to see the team and try out the gym equipment or wait for Luca to show them something cool.

But right now, Jake was barely interacting with Chris in the ring and Lottie was crying and clinging to Luca. She usually squealed and talked his ear off and dragged him round, running on an endless bout of energy. She didn't hide away in his neck or cling to him like this unless she was ill or frightened.

His hand cradled the side of her neck and he gently swiped his thumb across her cheek, trying to look at her before he gave up and looked ahead at (Y/n).

He didn't like the tears staining her face, the panic he could see in her eyes or the way (Y/n) had both arms bound around her waist like she was trying to hug and comfort herself.

Luca took a quick look behind him to make sure Chris was alright with Jake and he peeked over at Billy, satisfied the toddler was dozing off and not upset or panicked like the rest of their family. Luca headed over towards (Y/n) and the moment his arm was stretched out towards her, she moved.

She tucked herself into Luca's side, binding her arms tight around his waist while her face meshed into his chest. She didn't care about the scratchy Swat shirt he was wearing or the way it brushed against her cheek and nose. She couldn't find the will to care that the rest of the team were looking over and people passing by were starting to stare at them.

All (Y/n) cared about was having Luca in front of her and wrapped around her. The feel of his hand squeezing her hip, the touch of his lips against the top of her head and his steady breaths in her hair that he was trying so hard to control.

"Baby, what's happened?" Luca's voice was quiet, the words whispered into her hair.

He had his daughter crying into his neck and his wife glued to his chest, both shaking, both clearly rattled and upset and Luca had no idea what the problem was. He didn't like not knowing things and being out of the loop, he had to know what was going on so he could fix things.

He danced his eyes around the squad, noticing a few eyes glancing their way and he could see Deacon frown and dip his head down, silently asking if everything was okay. The blank look on Luca's face told him he had no idea what was happening.

His fingers squeezed (Y/n)'s hip and he held her that little bit tighter, kissing her temple to try and coax her to talk to him.

"A man tried to take Lottie." (Y/n)'s voice shuddered and came out breathless as a shiver tore down her spine and seeped into Luca's body.

His muscles went rigid and he tensed up in front of her, gripping her waist tighter as something dark crossed his eyes. His head tilted to one side and his eyes narrowed while his lips quirked as if he wanted to smile in utter confusion. Who would do that? Why would they do that? What exactly did that mean?

He leaned back, gripping (Y/n)'s hip and using it as leverage to nudge her back just enough so they could lock eyes. She could see the confusion and the panic pooling in those blue eyes and it made her heart drop down to her stomach.

"Take her? What does that mean, take her? Like walk off with her or what?"

"She said no but… babe, look at her head, he grabbed her by her hair. He almost ripped her hair out to drag her with him."

As swift as anything, Luca's arm retracted from (Y/n)'s waist so his attention could turn to their daughter.

His hand cupped the side of Lottie's face, his thumb brushing across her cheek as he fought to lift her head from the crook of his neck so he could check her over. Sorrow danced through his eyes while anger plastered across his face when his daughter's watering eyes finally looked up at him and a broken mewl left her lips that had Luca's heart shattering into a million pieces.

His eyes flitted across her face and over her head, noting the scratches on her scalp, the blood spots on her temple where her hair had been forcefully ripped from her scalp. He saw how her plaits were ruffled and pulled apart and how some of her hair was in knots and tangled up from her ordeal.

When Lottie carefully unravelled her arm from around her dad's neck, she held her trembling hand out to him. Letting him look at her swollen joint that flared with a biting pain whenever she tried to touch it.

"Did he do that?" Something dark laced in Luca's tone and (Y/n) was quick to shake her head.

She had seen Luca when he got defensive and protective over his family and those close to him. But that was nothing compared to this. She had never seen him so riled up and furious like this.

"She trapped it in the gate, trying to get away." (Y/n) rung her hands out in front of her, letting her nerves fizzle down to her hands to try and calm herself down. "I- I know I should have called the police, but he scarpered, I didn't even see him, Luca. He vanished. I didn't know what to do-"

"No, it's okay, you came here." When Lottie dropped her head back onto his shoulder, Luca reached his hand out and cupped the back of (Y/n)'s neck, reeling her back into his chest.

His lips smothered her temple and he closed his eyes, trying to take a second to calm down before he exploded.

Someone had tried to take his daughter. Someone had hurt his child and frightened his family. He wasn't letting them get away with this, he was going to find who did this.

"Alright team, gather up, we got a case."

Hondo's voice broke through the air and (Y/n) couldn't help but clutch tighter at Luca's back, pushing herself into his chest like she was trying to merge them into one person. She knew what that meant. She knew coming down here meant taking Luca away from the team and he was busy, his job was high profile and demanding. (Y/n) didn't want to detain him or distract him from work, she just had to talk to him so she didn't go out her mind and seeing him put the kid's minds at ease, especially Lottie.

"I- we should go, you're busy-"

"No, no… Cortez." Luca lifted his head and nodded at the Captain when she was about to walk past.

He knew the anger was overriding the panic written across his face and he knew the Captain could sense it when she walked over. She was familiar with Luca's family, she got on well with (Y/n) and she always said family were always welcome to drop by the squad. And right now, Luca's family needed to be here, they needed help.

"Everything okay Luca?"

"Cap, someone tried to take Lottie. Can you get an officer down here to do a sketch and take a statement? He got away and I want him arrested, now." This squad was part of the police. He knew Cortez could get hold of a uniform officer and have someone come down here to talk to (Y/n) and the kids.

They would feel safer staying here around people they knew and trusted. Someone could talk to Lottie and Jake and try to get a sketch out there, they could have uniformed police searching round the park to find whoever this man was who thought he could terrorise Luca's family. If not Luca would be out there in five minutes scouting round for the man who did this.

He watched the way Cortez took a deep breath, her hands moving to her hips as she bit down on her lip but she nodded quickly, reassuringly. This was a family unit and they took care of each other.

"Of course, you can all come to my office, I'll make some calls." She took a few steps back to let them talk, noting Chris who was stood with the pushchair next to her and her arms around Jake. Keeping the eldest tucked into her chest to keep him calm while his parents talked.

Luca tried to smile, but he knew what this meant. He had to finish his shift, they had a call to go on and he was still at work. But with any luck, they would all still be here when he came back and if not, he would be able to head straight home after this mission. They would all be safe here.

"You go give a statement, I'll come get you as soon as we're done I promise." His thumb brushed across (Y/n)'s jaw and she leaned into the touch, trying to stop herself from crying any more.

She nodded and held her breath when Luca stole a kiss from her lips. She gave his shoulders a squeeze and gave him another lasting kiss before she looked over at Lottie, tucked into his chest.

"Baby," He murmured softly, dragging the pad of his finger down Lottie's cheek to gain her attention. "You go with mum up to the big office, yeah? And when I'm finished at work, I'll come right back to you baby, okay?"

Lottie lifted her head but kept both arms deadlocked around Luca's neck, her lower lip wobbling as she looked at him.

She wanted to stay with him.

Lottie wanted to stay with her dad, he would keep her safe. He always kept them safe, that was his job. He was forever telling them that his job was to take care of people and protect the city. Now he could protect Lottie. She didn't want to go anywhere if Luca wasn't going with them, she wanted to stay right here where he could keep her safe.

"No, you come too. Please, daddy?"

Tears welled up in Luca's eyes but he tried to push them aside. It took a lot for him to cry, especially when he was on shift. He didn't want the rest of the team to see how badly his heart was breaking. "I won't be long. You go with mum and be a brave girl for me-"

"You keep me safe!" She all but whined, letting out another sharp cry when Luca leaned close and pressed his lips to her temple.

That was what he was trying to do. He was trying to keep her safe, it was all he wanted to do. He wanted to protect and look after his family and having them here talking to the police was the best way to do that.

"Baby, you're safe here, that's a promise. Stay here with mum and when I'm finished, I'll take you all home. I love you."

Luca took three shallow breaths against Lottie's temple and pressed a dozen kisses to her cheek before he leaned forward to let (Y/n) take her. If this was left to him he would crack and end up staying with them, but the team was waiting for him. And he wouldn't be much help talking to the police, he hadn't been there when it happened. His temper was already about to overflow and being around the police was going to make him explode and want to go out there looking for the one responsible for all of this.

(Y/n) gave his shoulder a squeeze but when she tried to hold Lottie, the five year old deadlocked her hands around Luca's neck and belted out a scream.

It was a noise that caught everyone's attention.

All eyes tuned in on them, everyone walking past came to a stop and all the voices ceased into silence so they could observe what was happening.

Luca tilted his head back, unable to hold off the tears any longer. He reached behind his neck for Lottie's hands and carefully unhooked her arms from his neck. He took a few steps back, kissed her palms and let go so she couldn't latch onto him any more.

He had to go. She could cling to him as soon as he was finished. As soon as he got his family home, all the kids could latch onto him and he wouldn't let them go. Lottie could sleep in their bed and Luca wouldn't sleep, he would stay awake looking out for her and protecting her to make sure she stayed safe.

"Daddy no! Daddy!"

A horrible banshee screech errupted past Lottie's lips and she screamed until she could barely breathe and stars danced in front of her eyes. She flopped over (Y/n)'s arm, kicking her legs, stretching her arms out and flapping them in Luca's direction, but he shook his head. He had to let her go talk to the police and calm down, he had to get this shift sorted so he could take them all home.

"Go." Luca pointed (Y/n) in Cortez's direction and turned sharply to face Chris and the boys.

His hand dragged along his face, wiping away the tears and dragging down his jaw before he bent down in front of Jake. The nine year old suddenly looked like a toddler, stood there frightened and panicked in Chris's arms.

"Go with your mum, tell the police anything you remember, and then I'll come and get you all. Are you okay?" His hands found Jake's arms and he rubbed up and down and kissed his temple.

"Scared, dad."

"That's okay. You're safe here, we'll all protect you. Go with Captain Cortez, and I'll see you soon." He murmured a soft 'I love you' against Jake's temple, reeling him in for a hug.

He kissed Billy's temple, thankful his youngest was just about asleep, despite Lottie who was still screaming for Luca.

His eyes followed his family, expression turning to stone as Cortez led them down the corridor to take them to her office. (Y/n) was struggling to keep hold of Lottie who was wriggling and fighting and crying out for Luca. Jake was shakily walking beside her, pushing the pram to keep Billy safe and within their sights. And Cortez had her hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders, trying to both comfort and guide her away from all the prying eyes.

A cringe tore through Luca's body and his shoulders hunched when he heard Lottie's feeble screams continue to wrack through the gym like her voice was purposely following and reaching out for him.

"Luca?" Chris tried to reach out for him but she took a step back when he twisted round.

She stepped away, hands retracting to her sides when Luca slammed his foot into the bench and gave such a powerful kick that the metal bench flipped and crashed into the boxing ring.

His hands ran up and down his face, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop. He could feel his eyes stinging and turning red and a dark rouge tainted his face and slithered up his neck that was tense and throbbing. Every breath made his chest ache and tense but he didn't feel like he was breathing at all.

"He tried to take her." Venom spat through his words and his head snapped in Chris's direction but his eyes set on the figure looming behind her.

Hondo. Watching from the sidelines, unsure whether to approach and try to calm Luca down or just let him ride it out.

His hands balled into fists as he stormed towards the computer room where the rest of the teams were gathered, ready for their briefing that should have started five minutes ago. He felt Chris reach out for his shoulder but he shook her off and his steps halted when Hondo reached an arm out in front of his path, cutting him off.

"Luca, take a minute, calm down."

Calm down. How could he calm down? How could he control his thoughts, his feelings and his raging emotions when his daughter was screaming for him and his wife and sons were scarred and terrified? How could he compose himself when all he wanted to do was find the person who had done this to them?

"Some fucker just tried to kidnap my daughter. Once I've got the bastard in custody, then I'll calm down."

He pushed past Hondo and stormed into the room like a hurricane not to be trifled with. The sooner this was over, the sooner his family had talked to the police, then the sooner he could take them home and look after them.

But Luca wasn't going to calm down. He wasn't going to be satisfied or calm or at ease until this sick idiot was locked up in custody.

[hannie-dul-set]

모기 / MOGI — [c.bg].

SYNOPSIS. in which all of your life, you and beomgyu have been stuck together like glue whether you liked it or not. and as much as you want to change that, life seems to have different plans.

PAIRING. choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRE. childhood friends to not quite friends (derogatory) to not quite friends (endearment), romance, humor, very light-barely there angst, pining idiots, college! au with flashes to high school, featuring an ensemble of 01z idols. WARNINGS. swearing, many many (fake) death threats, so much secondhand embarrassment, mentions of sex, mentions of blood and gore, the worldly problems of a teenager, mc has anger issues, gossip. WORD COUNT. 14k.

TAGLIST. @matcha-binz @bgomtori @lotties-posts @bearbeom @bbinwrld @beomies-world @baekberrie @20-cms @jenodreamer

NOTE. it is here! alternatively titled: all the reasons you don't like choi beomgyu (but maybe you do). this is just a v quick v fun read (i hope HAHHAHA). parts in past tense and within parenthesis are set in the past! hope you enjoy mosquito gyu and please let me know what you think! begging for crumbs of feedback plspls.

YOU DON’T LIKE CHOI BEOMGYU. He’s been a thorn in your side for as long as you can remember— a far too nimble mosquito for you to catch and swat away, constantly buzzing around your ears like a mild annoyance. Mild, but annoying all the same.

The problem is, you can’t get rid of him. Not when both your families have been friends before either of you were even born. Not when you’ve been half-living in his house for the better part of your life and he’s been half-living in yours. Not when you’ve always been magically assigned to the same class for twelve god damned years and somehow, you’re now even set out to go to the same university.

It’s like the world just wants to stick the both of you together.

“Hey, fuckface.”

“What do you want, dipshit?”

Unfortunately for the world, you don’t want the same thing.

“Remember when I hauled your ass to the emergency room after you broke your leg at the skatepark in 9th grade?”

Beomgyu lets out a grunt upon hearing your question at the same time as he drops down to the ground with a thunk on the playground seesaw. “Right. That happened.” It’s late at night, the streetlights are dimming, and it’s a week before high school graduation. Not the most appropriate time to be playing around the kid-sized rides tucked in the corner of your apartment complex, but things have been penting up, and there currently seems to be no better way to deal with your physical and emotional exhaustion than by being sprung up to the air, down, and back up again.

“You also said— whoa!” You glue your feet firmly to the chalky ground before dangling your legs up once more. “You also said you’d do anything I ask after saving your ass. I’m here to collect your debt.”

The next instance, you aren’t see’d or saw’d back up. Beomgyu stays grounded, looking at with an expression you can only describe as oozing of suspicion. It is weird, you have to admit, bringing up a spur of a moment promise he made three years ago, possibly under the influence of anesthetics. You’d be suspicious of yourself, too. “Alright,” he relents after a long moment of thought. Beomgyu leans forward, resting his arms over the seesaw handle and burying his chin into his sleeves. “Spit it out. What do you want? I’ll buy it for you.”

You press your lips together. “It’s not something you can buy.”

Now, that definitely doesn’t help your case. Your crypticness is causing his brows to furrow, and Beomgyu is deep in thought wondering what the hell kind of favor your fucked up head is thinking of (especially after the shrimp incident). You can save him from misery and just spit it out right then and there, but it’s not easy for you to pull out of your mouth either. Once this night is over, your throat will be littered with sores and cuts and it’ll all be self inflicted.

“Wait.” Beomgyu suddenly jolts up and sits straight, causing the seesaw to wobble a little. His ears are peeking out the mess of his hair. It’s already way past the school policy length— a privilege of a graduating student, he says. And despite the shadowed sky cloaking the playground lot, you can clearly see the tinge of red painting the thin skin. What is he thinking? you narrow your eyes at him. The blush has spread all over his neck. "You—you—you’re not trying to ask—”

“Beomgyu,” you cut him off, sparing him from an aneurysm. “We’re starting college next month, right?”

His expression tells you he’s completely missed the mark. “Yeah...?” he sounds out, confusion riddled in his tongue. You bite down yours— an early repentance before finally throwing it out in the air.

“Can you do me a favor?” you squeak out. “Can you pretend like you don’t know me?”

Quiet washes over. You preemptively wince, expecting the impending torrent of swear words from your friend, but he doesn’t say anything. He says nothing for a long while, filling the quiet with tension-filled agony before finally saying, “I don’t understand.”

You swallow down a lump in your throat.

“What are you saying?”

There are uneasy creaks on the hinges of the seesaw set, as if it’s unsure whether to go up or down. The scent of iron seeps into your palms with how tightly you’re holding the handle. “Please pretend like we aren’t friends when we enter university,” you inhale sharply. “Better yet, act like you don’t know me at all, okay? Treat me like I was a ghost and I’ll do the same with you.” 

You don’t have the guts to look Beomgyu in the eye. You train your eyes to the graveled ground and hold in your breath, listening as the creaks of the rusty hinges slowly come to a still. He’s not saying anything. He isn’t saying anything and you’re starting to grow scared.

The seesaw finally stops rocking, and you finally hear Beomgyu’s response—

“Fine.”

—all while your ass gets dropped to the ground with an even louder thunk when Beomgyu gets off the damned thing. You let out a yelp as your body gets jerked back by the sudden recoil. 

“Hey!” you yell out, stumbling to get off the seesaw in a panic because he’s starting to walk. “Choi Beomgyu— wait up!”

“What?” he snaps his head back, and you flinch. He doesn’t look great. He doesn’t look happy at all. Guilt overhauls your entire being with a single, ringing punch and your tongue is weighed down by sand and soot and it’s difficult to swallow without the threat of choking. “I thought you wanted me to pretend like I don’t know you?”

You frown. “I did, but I didn’t mean it to be—”

Words fail when he turns his back to you once again. You can’t say anything. You can’t bring it in you to justify yourself. You can’t even find the shame to call him back. So all you can do is watch as Beomgyu slowly disappears into the evening, leaving behind more things in the playground than just you.

It’s fine, you inhale sharply. You can give him some space tonight and just talk it out on the way to school tomorrow. And it’s not like you didn’t expect him to be mad at you. It just hurt a lot more than you thought it would.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” you yell at his disappearing figure.

It stings, sure. But still. It’s something you feel like you need to do, because you don’t like Choi Beomgyu, and all the things he’s cost you.

#1: YOU DON’T LIKE HIM FOR WASTING SO MUCH OF YOUR TIME. You’re pretty sure at least three years of your lifespan has wilted away into nothingness because of how long it takes for him to answer the door. It takes two rounds of incessant knocking and a yell of his name. Even then, his mom is more likely to answer than the fucker himself.

He’s been like that ever since. Though you can’t exactly pinpoint when that ever since begins— you can’t remember how you met him because his stupid face has always been present in all of your earliest memories.

(Knock, knock, knock!

“Choi Beomgyu!”

Knock, knock, knock!

“Open the door!”

Classes ended early today, and your teachers at the academy are having a seminar so you don’t have to go there today. This was a rare opportunity in your life as a middle schooler— where every day runs from waking up, to eating, to studying, to eating, to studying again, studying some more, and wanting to quit studying. Today you had free time, and you’re going to spend it wisely.

At least that was the plan. But then Beomgyu called your landline while you were watching TV, saying that he had “something super, duper, insanely cool to show you and you’ll regret it if you don’t come over.” 

It’s probably something lame.

You hurried over to the unit right across yours.

But like usual, it took a good five minutes until you heard Beomgyu’s hurried footsteps padding louder and closer and closer. He didn’t give you an opportunity to be annoyed by him— he quickly tugged you into his home and shut the door lock with a kick, running into and out of the living room like it was a racing track, and before you knew it, you were in his room and he was all giddy and excited and it served as a sign that he was up to no good.

“You’re being suspicious,” you leered at him as he dug through his school bag, already taking the liberty to plop down on his bed. “What’s that?”

There was a proud grin on his face when he pulled it out and showed it off to you. You weren’t as impressed. In fact, you were terrified. 

Specifically because of the 18+ label on the CD container he’s holding.

“Why do you have that?!” you screeched. “Holy crap. You idiot. Are you trying to get us into trouble?!”

“We won’t get in trouble as long as you stop freaking out like a little wuss,” he reasoned, already slotting the forbidden CD into his conveniently placed laptop right at the foot of the bed.

Your houses shared an internet line, and most websites have been blocked as per both your parents’ request so it “doesn’t get in the way of your studying,” they say. You thought it was crap. Beomgyu thought  it was crap. So you’d been trying to find ways to subvert that restriction by whatever means you can get your hands on (i.e. going to PC rooms and getting dragged back home by your parents).

But that didn’t mean you were fine with watching a movie you legally weren’t allowed to watch.

This was absurd.

“Yeonjun hyung lent it to me. Hey, stop overreacting. You said you wanted to watch this and wouldn’t quit whining about it the past two weeks. I’m doing you a favor!”

“We’re not allowed to watch this! If our parents find out, they’re gonna—” You made the mistake of letting your eyes wander to the laptop screen. It’s all blood and guts and gore from the very beginning. You were taken. “Whoa. Move over.”

Beomgyu was grinning at his success. The equally bloody CD container found itself tucked underneath his bed, and before you knew it you were both hiding under the blankets, sharing a pair of earphones because there’s too much screaming and squelching from the off-brand slasher film your friend smuggled from a sketchy high schooler. Maybe that was just the right amount of screaming. You wouldn’t know. You’ve never watched anything like this before.)

To be frank, you don’t remember much about the film. You do remember nearly pissing yourself in fear and screaming along to the cries of agony whenever someone was killed on screen. Beomgyu was unfazed though— that freak. How was he not pissing himself when a severed limb flew into the frame?

But he wasn’t as calm when his brother came home early, and your constant screams of terror elicited understandable concern. (“Shut up! You’re going to get us caught,” he hissed, trying to smack his palm over your mouth but you’re already burying your face into his comforter and blindly shoving him off).

Long story short, you both got caught and got grounded for a week.

So much for having free time.

“Congrats on finishing your last exam!”

You grunt, shoving past Heeseung as you exit the classroom, a stack of scratch papers pressed to your chest. He trails behind you with an evident bounce in his step. You’d be just as excited had you not been brutally murdered by midterms week. It’s only your third month of university and you’re already ready to drop out. Why is this normalized? This is structural, systemic violence.

“Jieun and the rest are planning a night out tomorrow,” he mentions. “You coming?”

“No. I’m going to sleep for forty-eight hours and die.”

He tells you you’re no fun and you flip him off. Three months have passed and you feel like you’ve aged thirty years, but Heeseung is still fucking energetic and you’re sure it’s because the girl from computer science he’d been flirting with for the past two weeks finally agreed to go on a date with him. The stupid grin on his face as he’s typing on his phone is annoying you to no end. “What?” he asks, looking up from his phone, still all smiley and irksome. 

“You’re insufferable,” you deadpan. His expression morphs into confusion, then realization, then pity, then circles back into being incredibly annoying again. 

“If you beg, I can set you up with one of my friends.”

“Eat ass.” 

You smack the top of his head with the stack of papers. He is unfazed. “I know a few guys! C’mon! Instead of being bitter, why don’t I help you out? I don’t do this for everyone, you know. I’m only offering because you’re my friend.”

Well, the past three months haven’t been entirely bad. Your freshman batch was fairly easy to get along with— Heeseung specifically, whom you hit off with during the orientation. You’ve also been doing pretty well with all of your classes despite the back-breaking workload. And now that midterms are over, your uni has this policy to cancel classes for a whole week after every major exam (for the students’ “mental health” they say), so now you have the chance to finally fucking rest.

“Beomgyu!”

You flinch upon hearing Heeseung yell out his name. You can’t get used to it.

The space next to you becomes empty as Heeseung excuses himself for a moment to join Beomgyu and the little group he’s appeared with. You take the opportunity to shove the scratch papers you have into your bag, taking a few glimpses here and there— regretting doing that when Beomgyu happens to meet your gaze at one point, and you quickly avert your eyes to the posters on bulletin boards stuck on the hallway wall. E-Sports Fest 2023. Sign up for your respective departments now! 

“Later,” Heeseung waves them off and runs back to you. “Hey. We’re fucked. Beomgyu’s playing in like half of the games next, next week. The ICT fuckers have practically won already. This is too much of a skill gap. This isn’t fair.”

You give him a look. “Okay?”

Heeseung pouts. “At least pretend like you’re interested. Jeongin said yes, but I still have to get Chenle onboard so we can at least get second place, but he says he doesn’t wanna waste our short break so— hey, are you listening?”

No, you’re not. Because you met eyes with Choi Beomgyu once more before he left with his friends, and even if it’s been three months since you’ve last talked to him, there’s still a weird feeling in your gut every time you happen to cross paths.

It’s been easy for him to keep his promise. The both of you have different majors, and though you two share a few mutual friends, Heeseung doesn’t know shit about your history, and nobody seems to suspect anything. 

Still. You can’t completely avoid him. Not when you two are literally still neighbors. 

The both of you moved out since your campus is a two hour commute from your homes, but you also moved into the same apartment building in the city as per your parents’ request. (“Now, I’m more at ease knowing you’re still living next to her, Beomgyu,” your mother remarked the day his dad drove you both to your new building). Your mom didn’t know how not at ease you are with him still floating around you with a seeming permanence, especially after what happened in the playground that night. 

“Anyway, I have to go,” Heeseung tells you, probably off to meet the compsci girl he refuses to tell you the name and identity of. You fear she may be one of your friends. “How about you?”

“Off to have lunch with Sungchan and Minjeong,” you hum. “Have fun. Don’t come crying to me when you eventually get your heart broken.”

“You’re just bitter. Don’t worry. I’ll get you a date to save you from your misery.”

“Go to hell.”

“See you.”

The both of you part ways, and you meet up with the aforementioned two at the campus cafeteria because fast food is outside of your budget after splurging all your allowance on caffeine and energy drinks this week. Your two friends seem to have also been hard fucked by midterms. Lunch was filled with quiet complaints and you immediately took the first bus home after eating.

“You stopped by?” you speak into your phone, wedging the device between your cheek and shoulder as you punch in the code to your unit’s door. “You should’ve told me. I could’ve come home earlier.”

“It’s alright. I just left you some side dishes for the week. They’re in the fridge. Who knows what kind of junk you’re putting into your body without me on the watch.”

“I am eating perfectly well!” you exclaim, shutting your door with a click. You love your mom and her food but she’s as protective as ever. “I just got home. I’ll send photo evidence of me enjoying your kimchi, madam.”

You hear her laugh a little at the end of the line, and you hum out a smile. “I’m hanging up. You must be tired so get some rest.”

“Yeah, alright.” Upon entering the living room, you can see the familiar, reusable blue shopping bag on the open kitchen counter, its unreasonably gigantic size taking up too much of the space. You narrow your eyes and walk towards it. When you take a peek inside, there are still full containers and tupperwares. The rolled omelets look particularly good. “I thought you put them in the fridge,” you say. Without waiting for your mother’s response, you’ve already produced a pair of chopsticks and have pried a box open, stuffing a roll inside your mouth.

“Oh, those are for Beomgyu.” 

The eggs suddenly taste like sand.

“He mentioned on call last time that he was missing some of my home cooked dishes. Why haven’t you been sharing with him? Greedy child. Anyway, drop them off at his place later when he gets back. He wasn’t around when I visited earlier. Okay?”

First of all, why does your mother keep calling Choi Beomgyu behind your back? Second of all, the guilt of eating what is supposed to be Beomgyu’s food shot your appetite back down into oblivion, so you quickly close the container and stuff it back into the bag in a zip. “Okay. I’ll do that.” You throw the chopsticks into the sink. He isn’t gonna notice that one omelet is missing, right?” “Bye.”

“Come back home during your break.”

Then again. Why do you have to waste this perfectly good food on a guy like him?

The line ends. You fall to the floor with an anguished cry. “Ugh,” you groan, forehead hitting the counter body a few too many times that a bruise could form. “The bastard might snitch on me if I don’t do it. Fuck. Fine.”

You feel like a reanimated corpse when you force yourself back on your feet, a series of grunts as you begrudgingly lug the large bag of side dishes that won’t even end up in your stomach. This is fine, you exhale. You can do this. You’re gonna knock on the door, throw the bag to his face, and say goodbye without talking. This is fine. This is easy. 

But with Beomgyu, it’s never easy. The simplicity of the act ends after you’ve left your unit. What came after was the short, dreadful walk across the hallway because shit— in the past three months you’ve moved here, you have never actually gone up to his door. 

Knock, knock, knock.

No answer.

Knock, knock, knock.

Still no answer. This bastard never fucking grows.

“Choi Beomgyu!” Your light knocks quickly transition to a heavy banging. “Choi Beomgyu, open up—”

There’s a click and a creak. Your knuckles don’t land on the familiar hardwood— they land on his chest because the momentum made you keep knocking even after he’d opened the door. “Oh,” he flatly starts. A brow raised and arms crossed, he leans against the door frame and looks at you like you’re an unwelcome guest. “What do we have here?”

He’s insufferable. He’s totally insufferable.

“Who are you again?”

“Cut the crap, Beomgyu,” you grunt, absolutely not in the mood for this. You know that it’s a pretty shitty thing for you to ask him to pretend to be strangers. You really do, so you didn’t hold it against him for being mad at you at first. He’s been doing his end, sure, but you don’t remember him acting like a big fucking bitch to you in private as a part of the deal. 

You thought his anger would subside after three days. It’s been three months and at this point you’re convinced that this relationship is now irreparable, and neither of you are making the effort to resuscitate it. “You’re the one who came to my door. Why are you swearing at me?” he huffs. You grit your teeth, shoving the bag to him and his act of arrogance falters from surprise. You don’t miss how his eyes widen and how his scrunched up brows suddenly disappear under the messy bangs he’s decided to grow out.

“Here. I’ll take back the containers next week. Make sure you’ve washed them by then. Goodbye.”

That, in fact, wasn’t a good bye because you stomp back into your unit without giving him a second look. 

Dammit, dammit, dammit it all. The door is cold against your back when you retreat inside. You hate him. You really do. This would’ve been easier if your lives weren’t so irrevocably tangled— messed up in all sorts of knots and ties that even a fucking boyscout can’t tear it apart. 

You left your phone on the counter when you left and you can see it buzzing and lighting up. There’s a few messages. Hi, dear. How have you been? It’s from his mother. There is no escape to this. Absolutely none.

#2: YOU DON’T LIKE HIM FOR FORCING YOU TO SWALLOW SO MUCH OF YOUR PRIDE. Somehow, he’s always there at the lowest points of your life— moments where you wouldn’t even want any of your family to see you, but he’s there. He always is, and you’d always wish to evaporate along with the rain. 

Maybe he has a signal whenever you’re on the verge of doing something stupid. Or losing face. Or being absolutely dumped. Or all of the above at the same time. Maybe he’s there on purpose so he can have one more thing on his belt of things to hold against you.

(“I like you.”

The words squeezed out of your throat like a choke, more than anything. Maybe it was because of the fact that you sounded so pathetic that Jiwoong couldn’t even reject you properly. Maybe if he were to be frank, he was afraid that you’d end up crying.

“Um, there’s...there’s somewhere I have to be for a moment. You don’t mind waiting for a bit, right?”

But it wasn’t you that ended up in tears. It was the sky. You weren’t sure how long you’d been waiting, frozen still in an abandoned corner behind the school where your pink-stained note had asked him to come— him, your desk partner for the semester that you’d been unfortunately struck by— but it was long enough for the afternoon sky to be inked by gray clouds. Long enough for it to start pouring in on your behalf.

You sniffled. Ah, shit. This is stupid. You said you weren’t going to cry but fuck, your eyes suddenly started to sting, and you’re looking up at the clouds because gravity might help in preventing them from falling, but all it did was pool saltwater in your tearducts and now they’ve overflown, mixing into the raindrops cascading down your face.

“Until when are you going to keep standing there like an idiot?”

Instead of the gray, pouring sky, your vision is cloaked by a jarring electric blue. It was the same obnoxious color as the umbrella Beomgyu brings around. Then again— that was just his voice, too. Your cheeks started burning. That was enough to bring you back to your senses. “Did—did you see—”

“Let’s go home.”

It was one thing to be caught crying by your friend-slash-neighbor-slash-annoyance. It was another thing to be caught getting rejected by him. That was double the shame and embarrassment soiled. But Beomgyu hasn’t made a mention of it throughout your walk back to the building, much to your relief and suspicion. This man would make fun of you to the ends of high hell just for keeping a plushie to bed until you were thirteen— you weren’t sure when he started developing the emotional intelligence to stay in the comfort of silence throughout your walk home.

Of course, you didn’t expect him to hold his tongue for too long. It was an empty road, and the rain was still pouring. Beomgyu held up his umbrella above your head, and started with a low voice, “Want me to beat him up?”

Your steps lagged, faltering a little in mild surprise. “You?” An invisible force started tugging on the corners of your lips. “With your lanky ass and noodle arms? Keep dreaming, loser.”

“Hey—” You had to hold back a snort when you saw his face, an evident look of unbridled offense taking over, and he stopped in his tracks just to passionately defend himself. “You take that back. I’m strong. I’m pretty sure I can lift you up with just one arm. I can beat the shit out of Jiwoong if I wanted to.”

“Sure,” you snickered. “That is if you want to end up in the hospital. You’re all skin and bones, Beomgyu. You’re weak as hell. Remember the last time we arm wrestled? I’m pretty sure it ended up with me as the winner, and you as the— eep!”

You yelped, eyes widening. Suddenly, the ground wasn’t touching your feet anymore, you could feel the rain on your skin, and the bright, blue umbrella was now on the ground. You can see nothing but the fabric of Beomgyu’s dark and drenched uniform blazer and glimpses of the upside down pavement. Your face started to heat up. You could feel his firm grip around your waist and legs.

“That was in sixth grade, doofus. Keep up,” he snorted. 

“What the hell? Put me down!” you let out a grunt and tried to wiggle yourself free, but he’s unyielding— continuing the walk back home while carrying you like a sack of potatoes. “If you don’t put me down, I am going to bite you.”

“Nuh-uh.” The bastard gave your body a rough shake as a warning, and you screamed. “Not until you take back what you said earlier.” You balled your hands into a fist and hit his back. “Wow, you’re so ungrateful. I’m giving you a free ride home yet you decide to assault me. Your mother will be so disappointed when she hears this.”

“Your mother will shave your head if she finds out your haircut received a warning this morning.”

“Oooo—kay. Down you go. Ride over.” The moment Beomgyu settled you back on the ground, you gave him the nastiest glare you could muster. He gave you a grin. “Your hair is a mess.”

“Whose fault is it?” you sneer.

“Jiwoong’s,” he answered, matting down the top of your head with his hands. You winced when his fingers got caught between the wet, tangled strands. Beomgyu’s lips pursed as he tried to unravel them, brows furrowed in concentration. “I’m uninviting him to our game night tomorrow. He can eat shit.”

“He’s gonna talk shit if you do that,” you replied.

“Who cares.” He was finished tinkering with your hair. It was still pouring. “Done. Let’s go home.” You didn’t know if he made it better or worse.

“Okay,” you replied, feeling the top of your head. “But your umbrella ran away. Idiot.”

“Does it matter?” his lips quirked. “We’re already drenched, anyway.”)

The ice in your service water has already melted. You are going to kill a man named Lee Heeseung.

Why isn’t this motherfucker answering your calls? You let out a mental swear. It’s the second Saturday of your one-week break after midterms, and Heeseung organized a blind date for you and his friend today. The problem is, that said friend is nowhere to be seen. The customers next to your table have already changed thrice already. You’re not pathetic. You’re not gonna wait for him.

Right when you muster the willpower to get up, Heeseung finally answers your call. He’s quick to overtake your possible threats by immediately rambling, “Okay. Before you get mad—”

“You’re dead to me.”

“I’m sorry!” he screams-slash-pleads. “Eunseok canceled at the last minute because of this thing with his— nevermind. That’s not important. I’m gonna kick his ass the next time I see him, but please tell me you haven’t left the cafe yet.”

You bite your bottom lip. You want to lie. You want to tell him that you’ve already left thirty minutes ago and are now in your apartment with cozy pajamas and a cucumber face mask. “I’m around the area,” you reply. “Why?”

“Oh, good. Great.”

This is brow raising. The bell above the door entrance rings, catching your attention and you look up. “Why?”

“You’re still going on a date,” he tells you. “I promise you, your time definitely won’t be wasted—”

Heeseung’s voice disappears into the background. Entering the cafe is the person you want to see the least. He’s wearing the hooded sweater you got him for Christmas last year, and around his neck are the headphones you got him for his birthday.

“—so I called another friend. Don’t think of him as just a second option, okay?! I think he’s more your type anyway, and—”

He’s looking around. He still hasn’t noticed you. He’s standing in the middle of the shop and he pulls out his phone. 

“—and he’s headed there right— oh! He says he’s there already!”

Beomgyu has spotted you and you want to kill yourself. Your head drops down and you bite down a scream of agony and despair. “You’ve heard of Choi Beomgyu, right? From BSEMC? I’ve mentioned him a few times. Haha. Anyway. I hope you enjoy your da—”

“Heeseung told me his friend got stood up and needed a backup.” He’s now in front of you. He’s looking down at you from behind the opposite chair. “I didn’t expect that that friend would be you.”

You’re going to kill yourself after you kill Heeseung. Better yet, why not murder Beomgyu as well so you can all rot in bloody fucking hell? 

“Hello?”

“Shut up,” you grunt, trying your best to subtly hide the burning embarrassment on your face without making it obvious that your pride is now in perfectly tattered shambles. Of all people, why him? Why? For the love of god, why? “Just leave. I doubt you even want to be here. Let’s just spare each other the headache, alright?”

Beomgyu stifles a scoff. You watch as his knuckles flex while clutching the back of the chair. “I canceled a game for this.” He pulls it back and plops down on the seat like a petulant child. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Your face contorts into an unabashed grimace. You take your bag and stand up. “Okay. Then, I’m leaving.” 

“You could’ve left an hour ago.”

Pause. He looks up at you, arms crossed and confident. Your upper lip twitches. You sit back down. Heeseung has already died twice in your head.

“I guess even someone as heartless as you is desperate for a little romance,” he hums, leaning back against his seat and completely at ease— a stark contrast to your end of the table: hot and bothered for all the wrong, not very sexy reasons. You’re trying to feign calmness, but the sweat dripping down your forehead from the heat of shame is ratting you out. This is the worst. This is the absolute worst.

You’re only able to breathe again when Beomgyu gets up to order something. Maybe you should order something too because your throat is as dry as bone. He returns not long after with a tray in hand. He settles it down on the table, revealing two glasses of iced tea and a plate of matcha tiramisu.

“Quit sulking,” he says. “You’re ugly when you sulk.”

With one hand, you flip him off. With the other, you use to grab one of the forks and dig into the dessert. Beomgyu mirrors your actions (minus the middle finger part), and grimaces after a spoonful lands in his mouth. “How are you eating this?” You hover a hand over your lips, pressing down a laugh. “It tastes like grass. Are you a cow? Is that it?”

Offended, you pull the plate closer to you. “Then why did you buy matcha if you’re just gonna insult it?”

“Because you like it.” Beomgyu reaches an arm over to get another bite, gags, then continues to try again. “Your tastebuds are really fucking weird. You should get them checked. I think they’re broken.”

You settle with an eye roll before taking a sip from the iced tea. This is odd. This feels like you’ve been transported back into time prior to your three-month long cold war. Choi Beomgyu is sitting in front of you and tapping on his phone laid on the table, and you’re sitting in front of him enjoying a nice piece of dessert he bought. There’s an odd cacophony inside your stomach— like butterflies and glass shards fluttering and cracking in a single enclosed space. 

“I heard you’ll be playing for the E-Sports Fest next week,” you mention, trying to dig a deeper hole into this crack that managed to resurface. Beomgyu gives you a weird, insinuating look in response. “Shut your face. I just keep hearing your name being mentioned. Heeseung is obsessed with you, I think.”

“Why are you asking?” he snorts, passing you a napkin. “You want to cheer for me?”

“Ew. Why would I?” you reply, blindly wiping at the corner of your mouth. “We’re not even from the same department.”

Beomgyu’s eyebrows knit together, trained on the lower half of your face. “Tch. Then why even bring it up, you—”

Time stops. For some reason, Beomgyu has reached his arm over the table and is now touching your face, thumb pressed against the side of your lip with a napkin, the opposite side of where you were trying to wipe off. 

Your eyes meet. It gets warm.

“Sorry,” he coughs out, retracting his hand to wipe the green-dusted cream off his fingers. Now, you know all of Choi Beomgyu’s tells like the back of your hand— and he’s not hiding those blushing ears from anyone. You’ve caught him. You knew his son of a bitch act was gonna crumble at some point (no, you didn’t. You thought he was gonna stay mad at you forever so now your heart is racing in glee). “If you’re done, let’s go. Come pick up your mom’s containers from my place.”

“Oh,” you breathe out. “Right.”

“I washed them.”

“Congratulations.”

He sneers. “Get up. I’m leaving you.”

The one thing you regret about making the deal with Beomgyu is missing out the opportunity of taking advantage of him and the car his parents’ gifted for graduation. Seriously. Had you known he’d be driving a private vehicle to and from campus everyday, you might have never asked for that favor in the first place. Those three months worth of bus fares could’ve been spent on your daily doses of coffee instead.

“Seatbelt,” he reminds while pulling out of the driveway. You’re mildly impressed and your face isn’t hiding it, and neither is the bashful tint on the tips of his ears. “Quit staring, you weirdo.”

“You can be kind of cool after all.” You give him a thumbs up. He grunts, and now you’re on the road back to your apartment.

It’s a quiet drive— the hum of the engine filling the early evening silence. You steal a few glances here and there, sneaking a few peeks at a new side of your friend(?) that you’ve never witnessed before. Since when was he so good at driving? He’s got only one hand on the steering wheel. It’s weird, you think. You’ve known everything about him for as long as you can remember, and finding out something new for the first time in a while— and not being the first one to find out about it— is making odd twists and turns inside your gut.

When you reach the apartment building, it’s still quiet. And when you ride up the elevator all the way to your floor, walking up the space between both of your doors, silence still permeates the walls and it makes you wonder— has it ever been this quiet between you two? 

“I’ll go get the stuff. Stay here.”

You’re left behind with your messy thoughts in the hallway and before things can get even more tangled up, Beomgyu shows up again with the bright blue shopping bag you dropped off last week. “Tell the madam that her seasoned spinach is perfect as usual.” He returns the bag, a faint smile on his face.

“Go tell her that yourself,” you huff, retrieving it from him. “I’m pretty sure she calls you more often than she calls me.” The tupperwares and containers look clean. You should give him a treat for doing a good job.

“Your mother is constantly worried about her young, impressionable daughter taking her first steps of independence, but doesn’t want to be called overbearing by her only child, so she asks me about you instead.” Beomgyu’s tone is nagging. You shoot him a glare and he simply steps closer to jab a finger into your forehead. “You have no idea how hard it is to make up bullshit about what you’ve been up to. You owe me a lot, dipshit.”

You wince, smacking his hand away. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

The corners of his mouth twitch. His eyes leer away for a moment, and he lets out a huff of air through his nose. “Why? Do I know you?”

Oh god. Here he goes again.

“Why do you keep—” You stop, squeezing your eyes and taking in a deep inhale because for a moment there, you were just about to yell again. “Okay,” you restart. You should do something about your temper. “Okay. I apologize for troubling you, and I’ll tell her to quit bothering you, so—”

It was going well. It was going so well. Only if you had missed the very subtle, very irritating roll of his eyes upon your remark. 

“—so you should quit being an absolute dickhead too, asshole!”

Then maybe you could’ve lived in happy ignorance, and all your progress today wouldn’t have to restart.

“Oh, so I’m the asshole?” he scoffs, incredulous. “You’re the one who told me to distance myself. You’re the one who asked. I’m just doing what you told me to do. Why am I in the wrong?” Your throat tightens, a familiar choke the moment you try to swallow. 

“I never asked you to stop being friends with me, Beomgyu! I just—”

Asked you to keep our friendship hidden because I’m selfish. Because I’m insecure. Because I hate you just as much as you mean the world to me. 

But you can’t tell him any of these things, can’t you?

His disappointment is clear from the look on his face. Beomgyu lets his fingers rake through his hair with a sigh. “Just go home. Thanks for the food.”

There’s something twisting inside your stomach, churning at an uncomfortable pace. It’s gnawing and grating. You’re only able to pinpoint it when Beomgyu turns back to his apartment, prompted by the resounding click of his door lock.

Ah, you realize amid the silence of the now empty hallway. It’s guilt.

#3: YOU DON’T LIKE HOW MUCH OF YOUR IDENTITY HE’S STRIPPED AWAY. You know it’s not on purpose. You know he doesn’t know. But it’s something that’s plagued you until your last few weeks of high school— the time for last chances, and final opportunities. It’s for this reason that you can’t stand him the most.

(“Hey!”

It was an unfamiliar voice that called out your name from behind you in the hallway, so you ignored it assuming that maybe they were calling someone else. It gets repeated, and you stop in front of your locker to retrieve your shoes, paying no mind to it. You’re going home alone today because Beomgyu’s out with his guy friends. “We’re having dinner together at my house later! Don’t forget!” was the last thing he yelled at you before running off. An unconscious smile crawls onto your face at the thought of it.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and heard the same voice that’d been repeating your name. You spin around, and are a little surprised to see the group standing behind you. “Hi!” 

It was Haena, one of your classmates, and she was joined with two more of the girls from your class, and one that you didn’t quite recognize. 

“Oh, sorry,” you bowed a little. “I didn’t know I was the one you were calling. I wasn’t trying to ignore you, sorry.” Your surprise stemmed from the fact that you weren’t really close with Haena or her friends. Not that you were on bad terms. You greeted each other from time to time, but your friend circle really just consisted of Choi Beomgyu, your deskmate Chaeryeong, and Ryunjin from the broadcasting club.

“It’s alright,” she smiled. “Do you…maybe have any plans today?”

You pulled out your shoes from the locker and closed it tightly. “No, not really.”

“Great! There’s a new cafe that opened near the school. Wanna join us?”

Well. This was unexpected. You didn’t have any other plans besides the joint family dinner you had with the Choi’s, so going on a cafe detour wouldn’t hurt. Beomgyu was also out with his other friends right now. Who says you couldn’t do the same? “Sure,” you replied. “I’ll join.”

It was a cute, cat-themed cafe with the only disappointment being that there were no actual cats— just the cat-shaped whipped cream on your strawberry drink, and the cat-shaped tiramisu on your plate. Cats weren’t usually green or pink, but you digress.

The girls were friendly. Conversation ranged from the universities you’ll all be attending, the classes you’re all about to finish, sprinkled with topics on shopping and clothes and the names of the rest of your classmates here and there. You’d started to zone out after a good while, stirring the contents of your half-empty drink as you stared at the glass windows, tinted orange by the sunset sky.

Haena cleared her throat. “So,” she started. You turned your attention back to your companions, and your eyes widened a little when you were met with all their eyes on you. Haena pronounced your name. “I’ve always been curious about something.”

You blinked. “About what?”

She leaned closer, a smile playing on her lips. “Are you and Beomgyu dating?”

You nearly choked on the sweet, strawberry drink. “What? No!” 

“Really?” Seohyun nudged herself closer next to you on the seat.

“Everyone thinks you’re dating him,” said Bora. “You’re always together.”

“Ah, that’s ridiculous! I’m really not dating him!” Your face has started to warm up. Gosh, what was this? What kind of situation was this? A few of them weren’t convinced, you could tell. You pressed your lips together before breathing out, “We’ve known each other since we were like toddlers. There’s no way in hell I’d be dating him. I don’t know where you're getting all these assumptions from.”

There was a glint in Haena’s eyes that you didn’t fail to notice.

“So, you don’t have any feelings for him?” This was getting weird.

“No. No, I don’t.” And even if you did, what the hell would they be interrogating you about it?

Haena visibly brightened. “Really? Then can you set me up with him?”

You were dumbfounded.

“I’m— I’m sorry?”

Things started to click. Senior high school was almost over, and your classmates whom you’ve barely even shared a conversation with for the past three years, were taking their last chance to start something with their crushes, or some shit, under the guise of half-hearted friendliness. You’ve understood now— and you’re nothing less than offended.

“Actually, I’ve liked Beomgyu for a while now,” Haena bashfully admitted. Seohyun inserted that her friend has had a crush on him since the beginning of the year. “I thought there was something going on between the two of you so I never acted on it. But I’m so happy to hear that you two are just friends!”

You shouldn’t be annoyed. But you were. You were very annoyed.

“You’ll help me right?”

Needless to say, you went home that day with your cat tiramisu in a paper box as takeout. The next morning, the three girls greeted your classroom entrance with unabashed glares. You paid no mind and headed over to your seat at the back, where an out of place box of chocolate milk was gingerly resting on the table.

You were mildly suspicious that Choi Beomgyu was the one who put that there, so you held it in your hands with caution, examining the box closer when you took a seat. 

The alleged perpetrator suddenly showed up from behind you. Your head felt heavier. Beomgyu was resting his arms on the top of your head, leaning down all of his weight onto you. “Oh wow,” he started. “Looks like someone has a secret admirer.”

You elbowed him and he let out a sharp yelp. You could see Haena giving you dirty looks from afar. “Go back to your seat,” you scolded him. “Class is starting soon.” Beomgyu listens to you well, but not after messing up your hair even further and greeting Seungmin who had just walked in.

“Are we still going after class?”

Choi Beomgyu was always surrounded by people. This was something you noticed a few months into your second year of middle school. He was like a lamp, flocked by so many buzzing insects in the night— just like right now, his face barely visible from inside the crowd at the middle of the classroom where his seat was. Even your seating assignments placed him at the center. That’s just where he’s meant to be.

“Hey, did you and Haena get into a fight?” 

You looked up to see Chaeryeong barely arriving in time before the bell, pulling her seat back and plopping down right next to you.

“Don’t mind it.” You sunk your face into your arms on the desk, elbow grazing the still unopened chocolate milk on the line dividing yours and your friend’s desk. “Hey,” you let your face peek out a little from your makeshift cocoon. “From an outsider’s perspective...do Beomgyu and I give the impression that we’re, um, dating?”

She snorted. “Haven’t your parents arranged your marriage, already?”

“This is a serious question!”

Honestly, this has never crossed your mind. Not until Haena mentioned it yesterday. It took a while for things to click inside your brain, but if this misunderstanding was really not singular, then that would really explain why you have never received any confession, any valentine’s day chocolate, or love letter, or anything for the past three years of highschool. It was all Beomgyu’s fault. He’s been unknowingly sabotaging your love life and if you end up sad and dying alone, it’s all on him.

Well, I guess it’s not completely ruined. Your cheeks pressed against your arms, looking at the milk carton on your desk. 

When you got up to your desk the next morning, there was another milk carton on your table.

“Hey.”

You looked up to see Seungmin hovering in front of your table. “What?”

“Not even a good morning? Beomgyu was right. You do have an attitude.” You rolled your eyes and stuffed the drink into your bag, and Seungmin decided to keep talking. “Anyway, where is he? You two usually arrive at the same time.”

“He slept through his alarm,” you replied. Then you furrowed your brows. “Why are you asking me? Couldn’t you just text him?”

“Well, it would be quicker to just ask you. Anyway, thanks.”

With that, he left. The bell rang, and your teacher arrived. You decide to save the drink until lunch time and when you got back to the classroom from the cafeteria, there was another snack on your table. For the next following days, you would find snacks suddenly spawning on your table. It was starting to get curious.

“Whoa. Holy crap. Someone might actually have a crush on you.”

It was now Friday, the end of the week, and you have accumulated a total of four milk boxes, three melon breads, and one pack of cookies all throughout. You and Beomgyu were staring down at the latest addition: a grape juice box and a packet of chocopie. He started muttering, “Does your admirer know that you snore when you—”

You gave him a kick. Beomgyu matched it with a harsh pull on your bag. He quickly ran away before you could retaliate, the rest of his body having already left, and his head peeking from the door to give you one last message.

“I’m going first! We have a raid in a while. What time is dinner later?”

“I’ll message you.”

“Alright,” he hummed. “See you. Text me if something comes up.”

This must be why people think you were dating. You were tired of it. When you were younger, people paid no mind to how much time and space you two were spending together— now that you’ve gotten a little older, maybe some things couldn’t be perceived as platonic forever.

But you don’t have any feelings for him, and neither does he for you. The only feeling you have for him is a penetrating sense of irritation. You mulled it over as you left the school building, clutching your bag straps as you walked. However, you paused upon seeing a familiar face standing at the edge of the entrance stairs. He looked like he was waiting for someone. 

“Oh! Um,” he suddenly exclaimed upon noticing your approaching presence. A cough stifled out from his throat, followed by a nervous smile. “Hi.”

It was Lim Jimin, one of your classmates and one of the boys that were usually rallying up every afternoon after class to the internet cafe with Beomgyu and Seungmin like a bunch of nerds. “Hey?” you greet back. “Didn’t you guys have a raid or something today? I think they already left.”

“No, I uh, I stayed behind,” he mumbled. “Can we talk for a bit?”

The chocolate milk carton he was holding had not gone unnoticed by you. Your narrowed eyes flitted over to his fidgeting fingers. His nerves were spilling right out. “Have you been the one leaving food on my desk?”

He flinched. “Yeah— well—” A smile curled on your lips. “Damn, this is a little embarrassing. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you hummed. “I enjoyed them. Thanks.”

There was a tinge of pink on his cheeks, a sheepish hand on the back of his neck and it looked as if he was running through a million thoughts in his head at once. “I’ve...I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he finally started after a moment’s silence. “Can you do me a favor?”

Your heart jumped. Holy shit. This is happening, this is actually happening. 

“Y—yeah?”

Your breath hitched inside your throat. Oh my god. You might actually end your curse of lovelessness today. Oh my fucking god.

“Can you convince Beomgyu to help me get to Platinum in League?”

What?

“I—I know this sounds dumb, and it’s kinda pathetic that I had to bribe you with snacks just to get to this— but he’s been refusing to help any of us because he leaves after like three games!” Jimin exclaimed, and, upon noticing the flat look on your face, quickly gathered himself back together. “Ahem. I thought…maybe you could convince him since you’re like, his girlfriend and all.”

Your brain was a loading screen. You blinked but saw nothing but red. Beomgyu goes home after three games because you guys eat dinner at six in the evening. Jimin was giving you food as a bribe. You were not getting a confession.

All at once, the blood rose to your face,

“W-wait— is that a yes? Are you gonna ask him—”

Your shame couldn’t keep you standing there like an idiot for any longer. Every hurried step you took was a testament of your misery, and you left behind in your wake a fucking wave of turmoil and embarrassment. Fuck, your cheeks were burning. Fuck, why did Beomgyu have to entertain that idea and muddled your brain.

“Oh, you’re home?” your mother greeted the moment you kicked open your apartment door and started stomping to your room. “Where’s Beomgyu? Why didn’t you come home toge—”

“Ugh!” you groaned. “Enough about him, please!”

Did you only exist as an extension of him? As a part of him? As Choi Beomgyu’s friend, girlfriend, whatever, as the girl who’s always been around him for the past seventeen years to the point where that was all you’re known for?

You were fucking sick of it.

Your mom was scolding you for yelling at her, but you were far into your emotions to stay behind and say sorry. Your bag was left on the living room floor, and you were once again stomping out of your apartment unit, only to bump your face into Choi Beomgyu. “Whoa,” he remarked, quickly grabbing onto your shoulders. “Where are you going?”

“Out.” You shoved yourself off him.

“Someone’s cranky,” he mused, trailing behind you as you continued bulldozing down the hallway, down the stairs, out the building and on the dim and chalky path towards the playground. Beomgyu kept chattering. “What’s up? Why are you mad? Did you leave something behind in the classroom? Okay, you aren’t talking to me. That’s fine. I was gonna ask you what flowers you wanted for our graduation ceremony, but I guess I’ll just pick and choose whatever I—”

Smack!

You’ve spun around. You’ve got his face smacked in between your palms, promptly shutting him up. His eyes flew open, mouth firmly and tightly closed. “Can you stop talking for a second?” you guttered out.

Beomgyu stared at you, eyes still wide, then nodded once, still sandwiched between your palms. You bit down your bottom lip. Your ribcage was starting to squeeze in on itself. “Sorry,” you mumbled, arms falling back to your sides and you resumed your march towards the playground. 

He stayed silent for the rest of the time, following you on the see-saws and the both of you exchanged ups and downs for a few moments— quiet moments— until you were the one to break it.

“Hey, fuckface,” you called out,

“What do you want, dipshit?” he replied.

“Remember when I hauled your ass to the emergency room after you broke your leg at the skatepark in 9th grade?”)

YOUR MORNING STARTED OFF NICELY. It’s the first day back to uni after your one week break. You woke up before your alarm and had the time to make a really stir-fried rice meal for breakfast (your first breakfast in a week, mind you). Your clothes are fresh from the dryer, mascara unclumpy, and you arrive at the bus stop at the same time as your bus to campus arrives, right on the dot. 

Today is going great. That is until Heeseung shows up at the library after sending you a text that he’s on the way, and ruins everything with one, single statement.

“Did you sleep with Beomgyu the other night?”

The orange juice you’re drinking nearly dribbles out of your mouth.

“What the fuck?”

Your voice is louder than you thought. Heeseung shushes you and sits and pulls out the seat next to yours, ready to explain. “The guys from the coding club blew up the GC last night. A few of them saw you come out of his car and enter his apartment building together last Saturday. I think there were pictures.” Your mouth is agape. You’re speechless. “I didn’t tell them anything! Some of the guys were just around the neighborhood and happened to see you.”

Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no.

“But, I guess...the blind date went well?”

God, fuck no.

Your worst nightmare has finally come crashing into reality.

“We live in the same building, get your mind out of the gutter!” you hiss, pulling him by the collar. Heeseung is very visibly terrified. You never wanted him to find out about your living situation in the first place because you know that he’d force you to hang out with them whenever he’s crashing at Beomgyu’s. You’re starting to regret hitting up a conversation with him during the orientation. These men are the banes of your existence. “Who is it? Who the fuck is spreading that stupid fucking rumor?”

“Please let go of me,” he squeaks out. You grunt, releasing the fabric of his shirt. He takes in a breath and fixes his clothes. “I’m not a snitch. Sorry.”

Heeseung is avoiding your eyes. He’s twiddling with the top button of his button up, nervously pressing together his lips. You run through the members of their “coding club” (it’s just a cover so they can play games in a cushy campus office). It doesn’t take long for you to come up with a name.

“Yang Jeongin.” Your friend’s panic tells you that you’re on the nail. 

“He only sent the photo!” he quickly exclaims. “He never said that you two were hooking up or anything! Please, spare him, please—”

So much for a perfect morning. It’s not even nine and you’re already fucking drained.

You let out a groan, massaging your temples and balancing yourself with your elbows on the study table. Heeseung is spewing out a million apologies and you’re not taking shit. “You’re not gonna go to our clubroom and destroy our computers, right?”

“Thanks for the idea.”

“You’re a demon,” he grumbles. “What’s the big deal, anyway? You yourself said you and Beomgyu didn’t fuck. But you two went home together and you haven’t complained about him yet. That means your date went really, really—”

“Can you please just quit it?!” 

That’s it. You’ve had enough. You shoot up from your seat, quickly gathering your things before you actually start throwing punches. “I’m sick and tired of hearing his name!” Heeseung gulps. He quickly scoots away to evade your haphazardly swinging bag. “Why the fuck do you all keep mentioning that piece of shit? It’s like everyone’s obsessed with him, it’s like everyone wants a chance to ride on his di—”

The words get cut off. Because when you turned around to make your leave, Choi Beomgyu was right there, behind you, and you bump into him and his blank face of terror.

“Oh.”

Yang Jeongin is also there, looking mildly scared of you.

But you’re more horrified than anyone in this hall.

Hiccup!

Your face flushes, searing hot and visibly enflamed.

“I, uh—” hiccup! “I’m about to leave anyway so you guys can—” hiccup! “—shit, fuck, fucking hell—”

You quickly swerve away, head down, but an arm swooshes over to barricade your exit path. There’s a water bottle in front of your heated face. Your line of sight follows towards the owner of the arm. Beomgyu is looking at you straight in the eye.

“Drink some water first.”

Hiccup!

Fuck, this is so embarrassing.

“Whoa. She’s so fast.”

The three boys watch your speedily retreating figure, pausing once or twice because of a hiccup, but your pace is still abnormally fast as you escape from the premises. There is no trace of you, save for the orange juice container you’d been drinking since earlier.

“There’s this tension between the two of you, you know.” Beomgyu turns his head to Heeseung who made the observation, a single eyebrow raised. “Do you two really live in the same building, or is she just making up an excuse? Seriously. Tell me how it went with you two. I was the one who set you up. I think I have the right to know.”

Beomgyu holds back a snort. He leans closer to Heeseung, a subtle smile playing on his lips. “You wanna know?”

Heeseung’s eyes sparkle. “Dude, I’m dying of curiosi—”

Smack!

“That’s none of your business.”

Beomgyu swipes the juice box from the table and promptly leaves the library despite the protests of his two friends. Out in the hallway, he doubts he could catch up to you after running away like a white collar convict, but who knows? He might get lucky— just like last Saturday.

“Hey, dude, wait up!”

An arm is hooked around his neck, and he gets pulled down with a grunt. He might be unable to catch up to you, but his friends definitely can with him. Now all his chances are gone, slipping out of his fingers like the juice container that he drops when caught between Heeseung and Jeongin shoving each other around, and it’s now completely lost upon the arrival of the people from his major.

“Hey, classes are canceled.”

“What are we having for lunch?”

“Are we having a practice run later for the festival?”

“Wait, I have to update my story— hey, look at the camera!”

They talk, but it’s all white noise. He gets carried off by static for the rest of the day. He hopes to bump into you when he gets home, but Beomgyu doesn’t even know what time you usually get home.

All the years you’ve spent mastering the perfect bitch face have finally come to fruition when you visited the programming club during lunch to make sure none of the bullshit they’re speculated escapes their clubroom doors. They all apologized— apparently Beomgyu also told them to quit their gossiping. 

However not even fear can stop an inherently stupid man. Because the next day, Minjeong suddenly tells you, “hey, I didn’t know you and Choi Beomgyu were a thing!”

Now, which rat managed to slip through the door crack?

“No, we’re not,” you scrunch your nose. “Where did you get that from?”

From a friend of a friend of a friend, she says. Sungchan asked you the same thing earlier. So did some guy from one class whom you don’t even know the name of. Your head is hurting. Crap that blind date was a stupid fucking idea. Seriously, why does no one know how to mind their own business? What is it about Choi Beomgyu that people just can’t keep his name out of their mouths? He’s not even a celebrity. He’s just a freshman with a pretty face and the social skills of an annoyingly loud butterfly.

“I’m going home,” you tell her.

“Why? I thought we were having barbecue with the rest of the guys!”

Not when you’re sure you’re gonna be barraged by another slew of questions about your dumb childhood friend. You bid Minjeong goodbye and exit the campus, hopping on the bus back to your apartment with a dead set agenda in mind. You’re going to fix this. You’r gonna bring things back to normal once and for all. So when you arrive at your floor, you don’t make a left like you usually do— you turn to your right and make three hard knocks on the sturdy door.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Choi Beomgyu.”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Beomgyu, are you ho—”

It gets opened sooner than you’re used to.

“Listen. We need to talk,” you quickly start, ignoring the surprise on his face upon seeing you, ignoring the way he almost shuts the door again right into your face. You hold back a scoff, but a sneer manages to sneak out. “Things have gotten messy since last Saturday. You should’ve kept your clubmates in check. What’s the point of acting like we’re strangers when people I don’t know keep asking me if I’m your fucking girlfriend, and Lee Heeseung keeps badgering me about what’s going on between us, and— oh my fucking god. Heeseung is right there.”

Beomgyu’s body is shielding you from the view of his living room. It’s not doing a good job because Heeseung waves at you from inside. Jeongin is there too. You can’t do this anymore. You’re cursed. You’re cursed with a plague called Choi Beomgyu and his ten million friends.

Your shaking eyes flit over back to Beomgyu. He looks panicked. Your heart is threatening to jump out of your throat and shrivel up like a pathetic dried grape.

“Fuck.”

At this point, running away feels like muscle memory to you now.

“Wait, I— hold on. I’ll be back,” you hear him say right before the door clicks and there’s another pair of pattering footsteps down the hallway right behind yours. The rhythm is familiar— a lag by one step, catching up, then slowing down as if he doesn’t want to overtake you all while you bulldoze through the hallway until you reach the flight of stairs, down three floors, and you’re met with the cold wind of the outside.

It’s only now that you realize your lungs are shaking.

“Hey—”

You smack away his attempt to settle a hand on your shoulder, but you’re far too embarrassed to look up and look him in the eye. Your face is burning. It’s been burnt so many times within the span of two weeks and it’s a miracle it hasn’t been charred. “Go away. Go back upstairs,” you sniffle. All you can see is the cement ground and the worn out slippers on his feet.

He stifles out something sort of a sigh. “No.” There’s a tug on the hem of your shirt. You wobble forward. Beomgyu holds onto your arms. You finally snap your head up and see his face. “You said we needed to talk. Let’s talk.”

It’s a little pathetic how you’re so near to breaking into tears. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to.”

“Is that really what you should be saying after completely screwing yourself over?”

“Shut up.” All the strength you had in your legs has been stripped away. Beomgyu is tugging your limp body to your complex’s gazebo with ease. “How could I have known your friends would be there?” you drawl out, allowing yourself to be dragged under its overhead roof.

He settles you down onto the stairs. “Isn’t Heeseung your friend too?”

“Not anymore.” You plop down on the wood, shoulders slacked, legs outstretched. Beomgyu is standing before you with his arms crossed. “From now on, he is nothing to me.”

There’s a frown on his face. “You should’ve called before deciding to blow up like that. I did my best. You’re the one that ruined your whole stranger agenda.”

“Fuck off, I’m still trying to cope.”

You kick out your foot like a child throwing a tantrum, and Beomgyu definitely doesn’t look impressed. He walks up, signaling you to scoot over, and squeezes right next to you on the narrow stair step of the gazebo. 

Shoulders pressed together, he leans slightly forward, elbows on his lap, and all you can see is the side of his face as you incline backwards so you don’t suffocate from the sudden tightness of air. “Am I like, too lame for you, or something,” he suddenly says. You blink once, failing to comprehend his words the first time. When he cocks his head back, you see the look in his eyes— earnest and raw.

You can’t help but crack out a snort.

“I’m— I’m sorry,” you sputter out. Your plaster your hands over your face, trying to suppress your misplaced chimes. “I just didn’t think you could make that kind of face. Wow, you can be serious too, huh?”

“You’re laughing,” he deadpans. “I’m trying to be serious here and you’re laughing.”

“I said I was sorry! Okay, let’s try again, let’s try again.” You clear your throat, sitting up straight and patting your palms on your lap, but something keeps tugging on the corners of your mouth and it’s hard to sit still. “No, you are not ‘too lame’ for me, Beomgyu. Where did that even come from?”

His expression bitters, unconvinced. “Then are you ashamed of me?”

“No.”

“Did I do anything abhorrently wrong?”

“What? No—”

“Am I not cool enough to be considered your friend?”

“Beomgyu, what are you talking about?” It was funny the first time, but now you’re just concerned. “Would I have stuck around your ass for almost twenty years if I thought any of that? Things haven’t been the best between us lately, but I still think we’re friends, Beomgyu, I—”

There’s a crack in your voice. Your face flushes. He’s looking at you so intently that you instinctively drop your head down before prying out the words that’s been lingering in your throat for months overdue.

“I…I hope we still are,” you mutter. “I really do.”

“Then why did you want to act like we’re not?” 

There it is.

“I didn’t want to keep it up for a long time!” you reason. “I just— I just wanted to keep my distance until I’ve adjusted to uni and until I’ve made a few friends of my own because for most of my life, I’ve only been known as the girl who’s always around you and nothing else.”

It takes a gnaw at your pride to be finally saying this out loud. It’s a bitter taste on your tongue— ugly and unpalatable and you’re glad that you won’t ever have to swallow it ever again. 

When you look up, you see Beomgyu make another new face you never expected from him.

“I doubt you noticed how people would only approach me because of you, but I really don’t blame you for anything. It was an unreasonable request and you had every right to be mad. I might have taken it back had we stayed around on the playground for a little longer.” You take a pause. “But then you started acting like a dick to me so I decided to be a dick to you too.”

You expect him to bite back but he doesn’t and it worries you. Shit, maybe you’ve unhauled too much. Maybe this wasn’t the right time be all vulnerable and crap but Beomgyu isn’t telling you you’re a big fucking idiot, so maybe it’s fine.

Instead, he stays quiet for a little longer, your words simmering in the air. 

“I wasn’t just angry. I was hurt,” he finally says. “Like you said, you’ve been with me for all my life and you suddenly tell me to reverse all of that. How the fuck did you expect me to act like you’re nobody when we both know that at this point I can’t live without you.”

Oh.

“Shit.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen.

“I didn’t mean— I didn’t want to say—” He’s covering the bottom half of his face with his fist. He’s turning his head away as much as he can but you can still see enough to notice. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to say that. Forget about it.”

You lean closer. “Beomgyu, are you crying?”

“No. Fuck off.”

His right shoulder is serving as his shield as you try to dig your nose further, completely turning away from you, but you don’t miss it. You can’t miss it. “Oh my god, you’re crying.” Beomgyu leers back at you ever the slightest. There’s red tinting his eyes. You expect him to scurry off back into the building after that— but, no. Instead, pulls you by the forearm, and lets his head fall onto your shoulder, his forehead pressed firmly down. 

“Eat shit and die,” he mutters in between sniffles. After your initial surprise, you lift up the arm he isn’t grabbing onto to give him a few pats on the back, circles over his shoulder blades, and you stay like that for a while, for maybe too long because the sky is now darker than when you first went outside.

“Beomgyu,” you start.

“What do you want?” he muffles, as if he isn’t still draped over you like an oversized rag.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was selfish and inconsiderate.”

You hear him sniffle again. Heeseung wouldn’t believe you if you tell him Choi Beomgyu is actually a big baby. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize the way other people were treating you,” he says. “I can’t help being such a cool guy that you get overshadowed, you know. So I’m not sorry for that— ow! Ow, what the heck!”

You pry him off by the hair. You’re sure a few strands got plucked off, but a realization you didn’t expect to glean from this was the fact that his stupid shaggy hair is actually really soft. “I think this is enough. We should head back.”

In spite of his complaining, Beomgyu trails behind you when you stand up and dust yourself before making your way back inside. It’s still quiet, save for the hisses and grunts and swears whenever Beomgyu would step on your shoes, whenever he’d bump into you and feign innocence, whenever he’d get on your nerves immediately after just reconciling with you. 

It’s annoying. It’s annoying and it’s better than everything that’s been these past three months.

“Are you twelve?” you shoot him a glare, ready to punch in your door code before you get the urge to punch him instead.

“Come inside,” he tells you, nosing at his side of the apartment. “Let’s watch a movie.”

You raise a brow and cross your arms. “All of a sudden?”

“Yeah.” He mimics your pose. “Got a problem with that?”

You roll your eyes, but somehow you’re now a few steps away from your front door, and are now a few steps closer to his. “I do have a problem with it. Your fucking friends are in there.”

“I’ll deal with them.”

“Wow,” you snort. “So reliable.”

Still, you follow. Beomgyu twists his door knob and you’re suddenly nervous for the possible bullshit Heeseung would barrage you about your relationship with Beomgyu, but that doesn’t happen. The moment Beomgyu cracks open the door, his voice bounces around the inside of his apartment’s walls. “Anyone who doesn’t leave after the count of five will be banned from my apartment forever. Five. Four—”

Holy crap. You’re more surprised to see it actually work because Heeseung and Jeongin who’d been laying on the floor and tinkering with their playstation controllers have suddenly catapulted from the ground. “Wait, what about her?!” Heeseung protests as he’s being shoved by Jeongin out the door.

“She’s exempted,” Beomgyu responds. “Three. Two—”

“Whatever’s going on between you two, I take credit! You better spill the beans tomorrow. I can’t stand—”

“One.” 

With that, the door is shut.

Quiet washes over. Beomgyu turns to face you. “Good?” he asks. You give him a pat on the head.

“Good.” He’s like a puppy, you think, and retract your arm before spinning around to look around his living space. “What are we watching?”

It’s your first time inside, and the first thing you notice is how freaking dark it is inside his apartment. The windows are covered by blackout curtains, the television’s blue light and the light bulb from the kitchen island being the only light sources inside. You take the liberty to plop down on the floor in front of the sofa, further welcoming yourself to turn off the game the two were playing to scroll through Netflix.

“Remember the movie we got in trouble for watching?” Beomgyu rouses. He’s in the kitchen and cracking open the cupboards. “It was in eighth grade, I think.”

“The one that our parents thought was porn?” you question. Anyone would have thought it was porn with the word Bodies and the 18+ label on the CD case. “I don’t really recall the plot.”

“Me neither. All I can remember were your pissbaby screams.” 

“I was fourteen!”

He throws you a bag of chips and settles down right next to you. “Yeah, and so was I. Gimme the remote, scaredy cat.”

This guy is a perpetual test on your patience, but you continue to let him test you anyway. Before long, the television is shrouded by the familiar graphic imagery that scared you shitless early into your teenhood, and Beomgyu’s warmth is seeping into your side. His face is outlined by the bright red douses onscreen, melting into the contours of his face. “What are you looking at?” he asks, eyes absentmindedly still on the screen, hand mechanically digging into the bag of chips resting on your lap. “Don’t tell me you’re still scared? Wow, what a baby.”

“Coming from you? Your eyes are still red, Beomgyu. Your big baby tears have stained my shirt.” You swat his hand away. A creak rips out from the speakers. “Maybe you’re the one acting all tough.” Suspenseful music builds up. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell your friends and fans that the great Choi Beomgyu is actually— eek!”

There’s a jumpscare. And Beomgyu is laughing his ass off as you unbury your face from his shoulders, ungripping the wrinkled fabric of his shirt with a sharp glare and flushed cheeks. “Not a single word from your whore mouth,” you warn. He’s grinning like crazy as he looks down at you. 

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Neither have you,” you sneer, trying to play off how you flinched at the sudden loud noise from the screen, but he’s probably noticed. How could he not notice every jitter from your bones when your legs are practically tangled together, when he keeps reaching out an arm over you to steal from the chip bag you keep nestled on your side away from him. 

The next moments are filled with nothing but the noise of guts ripping, limps splattering, and blood-curdling screams. 

“Can we watch something else?!”

“No way. Quit being lame and suck it up.”

Yet— in spite of the jumps and squirms and suppressed squeaks from your person— you haven’t felt this comfortable in months.

YOU DON’T LIKE CHOI BEOMGYU. You don’t like how much of your time he’s wasted. You don’t like how much of your pride he’s forced you to swallow. You don’t like how much of your identity he’s inadvertently stripped away.

You don’t like him for all those things, but here you are— dressed in his department’s colors, carrying a sign with his stupid face printed on, and waiting for the past thirty god damned minutes because he was supposed to be here ages ago for the stupid fucking E-Sports Fest that you’re not even remotely interested in.

If you don’t show up in five, I’m going home, you angrily mash on your phone. You’re risking it all here. If Heeseung sees you in this traitor outfit, he’s going to give you the silent treatment for a week. The bastard still owes you two more weeks of lunch to repent. You can’t lose the upper hand. You can’t lose your leverage.

Your phone buzzes. Had to piss. Be there in a bit, his reply says.

“I don’t need to be informed about your bladder activities, you freak,” you grumble to yourself. Your bright orange ensemble has been catching unwanted attention. That or his face on your sign. Any minute longer, you’re going to bury yourself alive.

“Excuse me.”

You feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around and see an unfamiliar face. He’s wearing the same shirt color as you. “Are— are you friends with Choi Beomgyu?” he asks. The bastard has collected another fanboy. You feel a throb in the side of your head.

“Yes. Yes, I’m fucking friends with Choi Beomgyu. What about it? What do you want?”

“Whoa, there.” 

The said bastard swoops in and swings an arm over your shoulder and presses you to his side. “Sorry about that,” he tells the guy. Your sneer deepens. Beomgyu gives you a subtle pinch on the arm. “My friend is just grumpy because we lost a game to the engineering department earlier. Anyway, how can I help you?”

Orange number two wanted to ask for a picture with him because he was so cool in the Sudden Attack match earlier. Beomgyu excuses himself for a moment and they take a quick photo. “Tangerines are supposed to look pretty, you know,” your stupid friend announces once he gets back to you. You start making your way to the venue for his next match. It’s in a closed classroom. There’s a projector screen outside to livestream it. “Quit scowling. You’re scaring the kids.”

“That’s the plan,” you tell him. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head.

“If you keep acting like that, I might get the wrong idea,” he says. You look at him. There’s a subtle smile on his face and you don’t like it. “It’s like you only want me for yourse— ow! Joking! Joke— it was a joke! Jeez.”

“Go win, or whatever.” You shove him off seeing that you’ve arrived. It’s already pretty crowded. You’re scanning the area for a good spot to squeeze into.

“I better be hearing your cheers from inside the classroom.”

“Don’t bet on it,” you send him off with a smile. “If you lose, I’m unfriending you.”

“Not the first time you’d be doing it.”

“Fuck off. Good luck.”

He nods with a salute and an expression that mirrors yours before disappearing off into the classroom, and you’re left with two dozen bodies uncomfortably wedged in the hallway just to watch him play a game you don’t even know the god damned rules for. 

You don’t like Beomgyu. His face is something you’re sick of seeing after nearly twenty years of being stuck with him.

You don’t like him. Not even when he seems to always pick you despite having a million other options. Not even when he single-mindedly bulldozes straight into you despite having a whole army cheering for him on the sides after he’s won another game for his department, waiting for your praise and the usual swears you spit on his face with a bright smile.

“Congrats, fuckface,” you say, receiving him in your arms as he engulfs you in a tight hug. You give him a few pats on the back for good measure.

“You’re treating me to dinner, dipshit,” he grins, pulling away, but keeping a hold of your shoulders.

“Spoiled brat,” you sneer.

You don’t like him. He keeps buzzing around you like an immortal mosquito that just doesn’t die even after being swatted away tens of thousands of times. 

“Only to you,” he hums, looping an arm around your neck and starting dragging you along forward. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”

You don’t like Choi Beomgyu. 

“Where do you wanna eat?”

You don’t. You really don’t.

모기 / MOGI. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[lottieurl]

great posts dissecting the last episode! when adult lottie proposed to do the ritual i was so confused as to why natalie would go along with it, considering how the montage was literally showing us scenes of her being hunted in the wilderness. sure, she keeps saying "we need to talk about what happened to us” but if we didn’t get an explanation as to why they all decided to do the ritual in the past then why the hell would she, a survival of the ritual, go along with it in the future? after she’s starting to figure herself out?

i mean we do know that ritual continues so presumably nat keeps taking part in it and just isn't the one being hunted anymore but that 2021 scene is just fucking stupid? like i wish i could even write a coherent criticism but simply it's stupid. all my frustrations with wilderness timeline are about pacing and a lack of build up for some things. but the modern timeline is such an extreme mess and imo all the adults suffer from like either underwriting or inconsistent characterization (except for van but that is literally only because we barely saw her thus far) that i stopped caring. and it sucks cause i was a vocal defender of modern timeline after s1! i thought it was fantastic and made the show what it was. but the writing for the modern timeline is where all the WORST writing decisions happen in s2. it's just a weird rushed mess and i no longer care

[braidlottie]

the yellowjackets taking care of you after your wisdom teeth removal

im getting my wisdom teeth out in 2 weeks but i am experiencing the teeniest amount of pain so im taking my mind off of it by writing this (^^)

LOTTIE

whether you’re emotional or just a straight up yapper, she’s always engaged in your conversation and trying to cheer you up/calm you down

you pass by a chick-fil-a on the way home and you beg lottie for a milkshake, but she tells you the doctor said you can’t have it immediately after surgery

and you’re very upset at this, probably ending up in another crying fit

“my sweet baby, i’ll get you a milkshake tomorrow, mkay? we don’t want to hurt your mouth even more.”

literally spoon feeds you soup at home because it’s the only thing you can eat 😭

SHAUNA

she leaves you in the bedroom to rest for a little bit, but you keep leaving to come and find her in the kitchen :(

holding you in her lap to ice your mouth because she knows you hate and you try to take the ice pack off any chance you get

she changes your gauze eventually and you make it SO hard for her 😭😭😭😭

“hey, hey. hold still. and stop touching your mouth, honey. i know you can’t feel your lips, honey- no, they’re not gone-”

she’s literally bribing you with treats and cuddles to behave

NAT

he would actually film you LMAO and send it to the yj gc when you’re conscious

he’s feeding into the silly things that you tell the doctor because you’re high as a kite 😭

forgot how to change your gauze the minute you got to the motel and had to call your doctor for a over the phone tutorial

“nooo, you can’t be eating from the vending machine right now. you want some ice cream from the corner store?”

scared to leave you unattended for so long so he runs down the street and buys the ice cream and by the time he comes back, you’re sprawled out sleeping on the bed 😭

TAISSA

she’s so bossy when it comes to your health and you actually kinda like it…

when she changes your gauze, you try to whine and pull away from her but she sit sits you right back up in her lap

sends you upstairs because she can tell the meds are making you sleepy

“you’re gonna go to sleep and rest, okay? take a little nap.”

she takes your phone because she doesn’t want you to be distracted or trying to fight sleep, but you ask her to stay with you until you fall asleep and of course she says yes :( she gives into you begging for her to turn on your favorite show too :3

VAN

van is the complete opposite of taissa here LMAO

making dad jokes and telling you about the strange plots of his favorite sandra bullock movies just to get your mind off the pain

chuckling at your groan when he tells you all his shitty jokes

“yeah, i was watching the news this morning, and you know the energizer bunny, right? well, he got arrested for battery…”

cooks you up a fresh can of campbells soup (he can’t cook it from scratch to save his life)

MISTY

she's there for you on hand and foot, getting you painkillers, more blankets, whatever you needed

you get so surprised when she brings in your favorite movies and makes your (she remembers all of your personal interests, even if they’re minor)

she will talk your ear off while you’re trying to rest from the anesthesia, but you don’t know how to ask her to stop 😭😭

“but caligula refrused to leave his cage today. but i think he’s just getting older and moodier- oh you’re trying to sleep? ᵃᵐ ᶦ ᵇᵉᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒᵒ ˡᵒᵘᵈ?”

she starts whispering instead, petting your head until you fall asleep in her lap

[tomhorsery]

Lottie relationship headcanons

Lottie Matthews x Female reader

Warnings- she’s not really mentally stable, these are for after she was rescued so it’s not fluffy. This is shorter than i would’ve liked.

Content under the cut-

• When she was rescued from the woods after living there for 18 months, she was obviously extremely different. She didn’t have that same bright smile that could light up any room. Instead, her expression was always blank.

• She wouldn’t even talk to you. There were days where she didn’t even let you touch her. Her body language was always hostile, and her eyes were always searching the area around her, as if she was afraid someone, or something, would come out of thin air.

• The first thing she said to you months after she got rescued was “It wasn’t my fault that they killed him.” You had no idea what she meant, but you agreed with her anyway. it wasn’t her fault.

• After that, things got worse. She started acting weird. Sometimes, she would stare at the wall for hours straight, saying nothing, Other times, she would draw this weird symbol. A triangle with a circle and two lines…? you didn’t know what it meant, but if it helped her cope so be it.

• You couldn’t figure her out. No matter how much you tried.

•Most days she liked cuddling. She wanted to be the big spoon since she wanted to be your protector in case something bad happened during the night. It was sad how locked into the memory of the cabin she was, but you let her do it anyway.

• In the mornings, after a shower, after breakfast she still looked dazed and tired. You knew that sometimes, after waking up, she wouldn’t say anything.

• After she got somewhat better, she was super clingy and affectionate. But she needed to initiate touch.

• She never left your side during the day. And you couldn’t blame her. Sometimes, on those days when she just didn’t want to move, when she was really upset, all you did was hold her close, rubbing soothing circles on her back if she let you.

• She was scared of everything. Especially fire. It made her skin crawl. You couldn’t even light a candle in the living room without her jumping practically 3 feet in the air.

• She likes it when you kiss her forehead scar. She says it makes her feel safe. You don’t mind doing it, because it reminds you that she’s okay, that she is alive. It brings you some peace too.

• She constantly has nightmares. Most mornings you wake up with a tear stained shirt because she was too scared to wake you up to comfort her.

• She used to be a bit of a picky eater, but ever since she came back from the wilderness, she’ll eat anything. Even things she used to hate.

• She doesn’t like to sleep alone anymore. She prefers to sleep with her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. If she can’t fall asleep, you hold her close, and stroke her hair, until she falls asleep.

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