#strangling and horses <3

[hangsawoman]

thoroughbreds (2017), cory finley / jawbone (2018), mónica ojeda

[toxycodone]

Oxy do you think laios would like pegging, I’ve been ovulating and so I keep thinking of pegging laios and how much I want this big man crying under me…💭😛

Laios being pegged...that is so big brained.

He's so, so into it. Whenever you bring it up he fwips his head around to look at you with an owlish expression. He's not against it, not at all, he's actually excited at the prospect.

However, he has his own desires. He goes shopping online with you for the perfect strap-on. You know he has...particular tastes. He doesn't want something too boring.

When you ask him what he wants. He pulls up the Bad Dragon website with a quickness. Then like, he suddenly looks a little sheepish, but he's still pretty excited.

After a little perusing, you eventually settle on one that's about 3-4 inches and has a nice fat knot. Laios tends to be a "go big or go home" sort of guy, so you kinda have to reign in his fantasies in the beginning because. Dude you are JUST starting out. That footlong horse cock isn't fitting inside you on the first try no matter how much it makes you drool. But the knot still leaves something for him to "conquer" when he gets used to the smaller toy. (You two also decide to invest in the realistic cum lube and some sort of vibrating mechanism for you and him. Just to make things even more enjoyable.)

So anyways, when you finally get down to it. You see the excitement he previously had switch to nerves. Despite how much he wanted this, he never really thought about how different it is. Being the one under you and getting penetrated makes him feel remarkably vulnerable. Thankfully, you two have plenty of time for foreplay.

You kiss him gently and tell him how pretty he is and how much you love him while you trail your finger over his asshole and he just melts. You see his hardening length twitch in anticipation and the tension leave his face as you start to finger him and get him more relaxed, soon enough he's fucking himself on your fingers and whimpering while pleading with you to finally fuck him with the real thing.

When you guys first try pegging, you gotta do it missionary. It's a position where you can easily see his face and body, just so you can make sure he's comfortable. Since you worked him up to it, Laios actually takes things super well. You slowly slide into him and he throws his head back and lets out a strangled groan. You kiss his forehead and taste the sweat on his skin and ask if he's alright as you still. Laios kisses your cheek sweetly and smiles into your skin, letting you know in a breathy voice that he's alright. you're doing so good and he loves you.

That's when you add a bit more lube, lube up his cock, and steadily start stroking him to match your thrusts. You aren't super fast as you do this, you just watch Laios's face as it scrunches in pleasure. A pink flush spreads across his cheeks, neck, and upper chest while you continue to fuck him--sending words of praise his way.

And. Unsurprisingly. Within a handful of strokes Laios is squeaking out a warning that he's gonna cum. And before you can finish thinking "already?" Your hand gets covered in warm, white liquid while he grunts out a couple choked sounds, shaking slightly in pleasure.

You stay completely still, careful not to overwhelm him as you chuckle. He's so damn cute. You lean down and give him a few gentle kisses to the base of his throat and tell him he's a good boy before he states.

"Keep going."

You look at him a bit curiously, brows furrowed.

"Really...? Are you su--"

Laios cuts you off with a whine, throwing his head back on the pillow.

"Please."

And so you do as he asks, continuing to fuck him (now at your pace as you try to reach your high), and he's just a mess. Tears prick his lashes before finally falling. He's gasping and groaning and his thighs can't decide if they wanna lock you in or push you away but Laios doesn't dare use the safe word. He just begs for you to cum in him, let him see you cum, fill him up and plug him with that knot...

And honestly, you're quickly following close behind Laios. Moaning into his ear while you buck your hips into him.

But once he's really gets used to anal he becomes a bit of a whore. He LOVES when you fuck him doggystyle and grip his chin, forcing him to look up at you when you spit in his mouth. Or you just grab him by his hips and just fuck him utterly stupid. Your fingers dig into the plush ski,, causing all kinds of scrapes and bruises while he's crying out underneath you.

But it can be an intimate thing too! No monster dildos or anything. Sharing a toy or having you fuck him slow is another love of his, especially while spooning. You can grab one of his soft pecs in your hand, his plush inner thigh in the other while you slowly pump in and out of him and gently kiss his neck. He lets out soft, breathy moans and hushed whispers of how much he just adores you while he jerks himself off...Yeah <3

[cosmerelists]

Interviewing My Wife About The Cosmere: Part 2

My wife has not read any Cosmere books. All of her knowledge comes from me and this blog. But last time, when I interviewed her about the Cosmere, you guys seemed to enjoy it!

So here is part two. This time, she must determine whether I am describing Kaladin, Shallan, Adolin...or Szeth. The guy she can never remember.

1. Part 1: The Introduction

Question: Okay, to make sure this is fair, please identify each of the characters. Who are Kaladin, Shallan, Adolin & Szeth?

"Kaladin: sad boy with spear." "Shallan: lady with multiple personalities." "Adolin: no powers. Poops in his armor." "Szeth..." [Pause. Momentary look of pure panic] "Wait! It's GO WHITE BOY GO"

2. Part 2: Identifying Their Murders

Question: Who stabbed someone through the eye in a dark alley?

"Adolin!!" [Under what circumstances?] "Dunno! I just remember that you said he didn't kill people in duels but he did once kill someone in an alley!"

Question: Who strangled someone to death slowly while singing a lullaby?

"Well that sounds scary, so....Shallan!"

Question: Who threw a spear tip through the eye hole in someone's armor?

"Kaladin! Spear boy!"

Question: Who just LOVES lashing people to the sky until the power runs out and they drop to their death?

"................Wait, is it one to one? Because I would say Kaladin! He's sky boy!" [It's one to one] "Huh! Go white boy go I guess!"

3. Part 3: Identifying their Talents

Question: Who is canonically trained in ice skating?

"Shallan?" [Why?] "Because she's artsy fartsy." [It's not Shallan] "Adolin? He's a rich boy." [Nope.] "White boy???" [Yes!] "Huh. Well good for him I guess."

Question: Who is canonically good at drawing?

"That's Shallan!!"

Question: Who loves horses?

"Adolin right? Because Kaladin is, like, scared of them."

Question: Then who is good at rock climbing?

"My baby!! I'm so proud of him!!!"

4. Part 4: Miscellaneous

Question: Who said, "I don't want to study. I want to be dead."

"Adolin because he's a himbo? Wait! He can't read! Then it must be Shallan?" [Nope.] "White boy???" [Yes!]

Question: Who set a ship on fire to escape from pirates?

"Shallan. She seems to escape a lot from things. Mostly trauma. That seems traumatic."

Question: Who reads fashion magazines?

"Adolin of course!"

Question: So who said, "Honor is dead but I'll see what I can do."

"Kaladin! That's your favorite thing!" [Until the next part] "Why what's the next part?"

Part 5: Predictions

Question: This one won't have answers, but I want you to predict the ultimate fate of each character in Stormlight 5. We'll see if you get any correct!

"Kaladin will be dead. So. Because he's a sad boy and that's what they do with sad boys." "Shallan will...merge personalities maybe?" "Adolin will have a power with his buddy. Hopefully she won't scream too much." "White boy is there. Hmmm...maybe he'll be a world hopper! Yeah! He's weird enough to be a world hopper!"

So there you have it, folks!

[everythingelseisextra]

Petty Criminal

Part 3: Treasure the Memory

Part 5: Give Yourself A Reason

Description: A peaceful trail ride deteriorates into an interrogation. Warnings: Language, Brief mention of sexual assault Word Count: 2755 Tag List: @theshelbyslimited @ttaechi @weaponizedvirtue @majesticcmey @babayaga67 @shelbydelrey @globetrotter28 @look-at-the-soul

“You alright?” 

“Fine.”

Dark-shadowed, glassy blue eyes stare into yours. Dawn air blows between you, light and cool, but something about the way he looks at you, the way he stands, the way his head is bowed slightly and he stares up at you through his eyelashes, tells you that the morning breeze isn’t refreshing to him. Your jaw tightens. This is a mistake. You’ve invited someone you barely know to ride with you, without acknowledging that maybe he doesn’t want to do this. There’s a small seed of doubt growing in your stomach, branching up towards your throat, and, if this goes badly, it’ll strangle you. 

You gesture to the barn. “Draco and the horse I’ll be riding are tacked up already. We’ll just grab them and go. I’m assuming you have experience riding…”

He nods and starts for the barn, leaving you to trail after him. Before you’re fully prepared for it, you’re both on horseback, heading out the other side of the barn into the countryside. For miles, all you can see is gray-green, an ocean of hills and valleys and harshly-cut paths that crawl through the small mountains like snakes. You glance over at Thomas, the way he sits on the horse, the way he holds the reins. His hips move softly with the movement, his hands give and take gently. Draco’s neck is arched, but his head isn’t pulled to his chest. 

“You have soft hands,” you say quietly. 

“He’s sensitive.” He nods to Draco. “Don’t need hard hands on him.”

You nod. Thomas has been riding your horse for mere minutes, and has already picked up on his personality, his needs, and is adjusting himself accordingly. You’re impressed, and, honestly, relieved. Draco needs a quiet rider, and you weren’t sure Thomas would be one. 

You walk in silence for a while, the wind blowing between you. Your horse, a paint thoroughbred you call Nifty, chews on the bit. Goose pimples raise on your arms as you start to climb a hill, twisting and turning up the trail, horses breathing hard. 

“Used to do this as a kid,” Thomas says, breaking the slow silence. “Race up the hills. Explore bloody dangerous paths.”

“We can do some of that, if you like.” You smile faintly. “Just let them get warmed up first.”

He shakes his head. “Won’t be the same.”

“Of course it won’t.” You squeeze your horse’s sides with your legs, cueing him into a faster walk. “But it’s still worth it if you can— I don’t know— maybe have some fun? Why else would we have horses? Draco’s fast. Powerful.”

Thomas stays quiet, head inclined, cap low over his eyes. 

“Come on. It couldn’t hurt.” 

“Guess not.” 

Grass and bits of dried grain whistle and rattle together around you. The ears of your horses flick forward, then back to you, then to the sides, always watchful, almost paranoid. Metal shoes on their hooves hit rocks on the path and clang. A salty, fresh scent travels along on the wind, and you breathe deep. 

“There’s a left turn up here.” You hold your reins in one hand and point with the other, your fingers tracing a ridge up ahead. “And then it’s straight up the side of the mountain.”

His tired eyes follow your hand to the brown pathway ahead of you, and when he speaks, there’s a hint of life to the words, like the sunlight and wind has brought him, at least a little, out of that fatigued state. “That’s where we race, eh?”

“Yep.” You smile. “I’ll win.”

“Don’t be so sure.” His low voice barely carries over the wind. You find yourself focusing on his lips to read his words. 

“If you fall off, I’m not liable.”

This coaxes a chuckle from him. “I won’t fall.”

You reach the bottom of the hill. You turn your head to start a countdown, but before you open your mouth, Thomas’ heels are on Draco’s sides, and they’re shooting off at a full sprint. 

A racehorse at full speed is a thing to behold. Muscles flexing, blood pumping, legs a blur of movement. The clatter of clashing hooves and the flash of mane and tail. Thoroughbreds are freaks of nature, so athletic they have a habit of severing their own bones from the motion. Draco’s fiery body blazes in front of you, Thomas up and out of his seat, heels down and hands forward, giving the horse his head. Hot on his tail, Nifty’s body pushed to its limits in speed, you grab mane and take a moment to admire.

Thomas moves naturally with the animal, as if born in the saddle, his cheeks flushed with the cold air, hair pushed back out of his face. And, you can barely believe it, a smile is on his lips. Because he’s winning. 

And you’re letting him, because you want more of that smile, more of those flushed cheeks, more of the exhilaration on his face. 

You reach the precipice of the hill, and you sit back to slow your horse, giving him silent cues with your reins and body. Thomas does the same, but his hands grip at the reins, yanking back to his hips, and Draco prances, glistening red coat gleaming. Nifty comes quietly to a walk, but Thomas doesn’t let go. He gives no release when the horse listens to him.

Before you have the time to say something, Draco is rearing, front legs lifting into the air, head tossing wildly to try to relieve himself of the pressure in his mouth. 

“Your hands!” You call, trying to get through to Thomas. It’s hard to listen to someone when an animal five times your size is reacting in a way you don’t understand. “Put your hands forward!”

Instead, Thomas pulls on one side of the horse’s mouth, forcing him back to the ground, but the next second, he’s back up, rearing so high that terror hits you hard. Horses can flip over on themselves when rearing, crushing the rider underneath them. 

“Thomas!” You yell. “Let go!”

This time he hears you. His hands go forward, his fingers lace themselves in Draco’s mane, and he clings there in midair, waiting. Draco takes two steps forward on his hind legs, then comes crashing back down to the ground, head thrown forward. He prances, snorting, moving back and forth in place. 

“Relax.” You soften your voice, moving Nifty closer to the panicking horse and rider. “I know it seems counter-intuitive, but you’ve gotta let go. Relax, Tommy. Relax.”

“Can’t fucking relax when he’s—”

“Your legs are on his sides, Thomas. He’s reacting to you.” All you can do is explain, try to teach. “Relax your legs and loosen your reins.”

His jaw tightens, then, slowly, you watch his legs release from Draco’s sides, watch his hands move forward once more. Draco’s wild eyes soften and his constant movement hesitantly comes to an end. 

“He’s claustrophobic.” You find that your breath, as well as Tommy’s, is short, as though you just rode an intense bout of rearing, instead of him. “He gets scared when he feels trapped. Jockeys will yank a horse’s face until they slow down, he’s used to being hurt. He just got scared. I’m so sorry, he just got scared.”

“Fuck.” Tommy’s voice comes surprisingly weak, his head bowed, chest heaving. “Fuck.”

“Jesus. Are you okay?” You move Nifty closer, trying to get a decent look at his face. 

“Don’t.” He turns his head away from you, hiding. There is shame in being seen, in any form, in any moment, but especially when you’re hurting. Especially when a stranger doesn’t know how to help, and those you know don’t know how to help, and you don’t know how to help yourself.

Your heart jumps to your throat and you swallow hard. Before you realize what you’re doing, you’ve slipped off the back of your horse, and you approach him, on the opposite side of where he’s facing. He deserves privacy, or what little you can give him. 

You reach up and gently unravel his fingers from the reins. Holding Draco in one hand and Nifty in the other, you lead both horses towards softer ground. You’re now on the smallest hill, surrounded by larger ones. Above you, the sky is deliriously blue, and a cold wind whistles around you. 

“I’m going to lay Draco down.” You let go of Nifty’s reins and allow him to ground-tie. “You’re going to get off, and we’re going to walk.”

Silence in response. You glance up and catch a glimpse of hazy blue eyes, looking off towards the shadow of the mountains around you.

With some trepidation, you tap on Draco’s belly, and the horse lowers himself to the ground, folding his long, sweaty legs underneath him. Tommy steps off immediately, and Draco, as if knowing instinctively, reaches his nose out to gently nuzzle his arm. 

“He’s sorry,” you murmur. “Let’s walk.”

It can help, you think, to move. To literally move away from fear, head towards the horizon, give yourself something to do other than sit in the terror. You start off, and anxiety pulses through you, inflating your lungs like a balloon so no more breath can seem to fit inside of them. You breathe anyway. Only one person can panic at a time. It was Draco’s turn, now it’s Tommy’s, not yours

Out of instinct, or maybe even out of fear, you start to speak. “I’m sorry, Thomas. I’m sorry he freaked out on you. He should be over that by now. Some things just stick with us, I think. I’m… sort of impressed, though. Most men I know would punish a horse who acted up like that. Most men I know would beat a horse just for stepping out of line.”

Tommy stays quiet. His head tilts towards you, his lips part slightly, like he wants to speak, then close, like he thought better of it. The two horses follow placidly behind you, and you walk along the ridge of the hill, a cliff dropping off into the rising sun on one side of you. Silhouetted by the burning light, he looks more delicate, as if made of porcelain and blue zircon. 

“I still say you’re not scary,” you say quietly. “I still say so.”

“Did some asking around.” His voice comes hoarse, as if he’d spent hours in silence, not just minutes. “You came from Paris; you were born in America. Word is, you didn’t leave either by choice.” 

Your turn to stay silent, to look away. One of the horses snorts behind you and you flinch. Your muscles tense and you reach up to rub your eye, the motion an attempt to brush off the anxiety.

“You don’t know my name. How did you ask around?” The leather reins gathered in your hand grow slippery with your palms sweating. “No one knows who I am in Birmingham.”

Thomas glances at you, then returns to staring ahead, eyes brooding. “I have friends outside of Birmingham. I have friends in the police force. You have a record.”

You stop short. “You saw my record?”

“You’re a fucking petty criminal.” He nods vaguely, a faint smile on his lips. “My guess is, you—”

“No. I don’t want to hear the story you’ve assumed explains my past.” You shake your head. Your heart pounds, your arms wrap around yourself. You want to drop the horses, turn, and run, get away from this man who knows too much, who has concocted some wild tale to explain a past you want nothing more than to forget. 

“Tell me, then.” He crosses his arms, turns towards you. You’re suddenly very aware that you’re alone in the middle of nowhere with a man who claims to do very bad things. You’re suddenly very aware that, as strong as you are, as wiry as your muscles, you’re at a disadvantage to someone who’s a fighter and knows it. One of his eyebrows raises. 

“Why do I owe you an explanation?” You step back, and Nifty’s muzzle touches your shoulder, nibbling at your shirt. You reach back absently to stroke his nose. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t deserve this shit from you. What, because my horse scared you, you have to get back at me?”

“Because,” he says slowly. “Nothing goes on in this city without me knowing about it.”

“I don’t live in your city!” Draco steps forward, responding to your raised voice, tail swishing. “Whatever deal you have going on with Birmingham, I want no part of. I’m just— fuck, Thomas, this was supposed to be relaxing!”

“No. You’re not part of that.” His eyes stay steady on you, cool and collected and infuriatingly blue. “I need to know who it is I’m chasing after.”

“Who it is you’re—” You take a gasping breath, leaning your head back to look up at the gray-blue sky. “So, you need to know because you have trust issues.”

“I need to know, because the business I run is important, and I can’t have someone—” He steps forward, inclining his head to look you in the eyes. “I can’t have someone get caught up in the wrong side of things.”

“What are you talking about?” You move towards him, leaving just a few inches between the two of you. “Do you think I can’t see for myself what’s going on?”

His lips part. You can see every detail of his face, every tiny freckle, every scar, every kaleidoscope pattern of his eyes. There’s a moment of silence, your eyes locked together. You can feel his breath on your face, feel the warmth coming from him. His eyes flick down. 

You look away. “Fine. I’ll tell you some.”

He releases a breath and steps away. 

“My mother was assaulted and got pregnant with me through that. As soon as I was old enough, she sent me away to boarding school in France. I never went back. All the ‘petty crimes’ you saw were me trying not to starve or freeze or die of dehydration or exposure. So, you happy? Do you feel better now?” Your lip quivers and you clench your jaw, trying to chase away the lump in your throat. There’s more to it than that. There’s so much more to it. 

But, if he gets too close, and he sees the story you run from, sees all the versions of yourself that you murdered to become who you are, then you’ll never get another do-over. You’ll never get another chance. You will never be who he hopes you are.

“How did you—”

“Get the horses?” You complete his sentence for him, too wired to wait for him to finish. “Draco was my first. Given to me by someone who couldn’t handle rehabbing him. I was supposed to sell him and never did. People realized I was good at it and started giving me their rejects to rehab. I realized I could make some money off of it. Never looked back.” 

He nods slowly. “I was wrong.”

“Yeah. People usually are about me.” You glance back at the horses. “Should’ve just let you tell me who I am and agreed to it.”

“You’re not that kind of girl.” He smiles faintly, reaches out for Draco’s reins. “If you’re lying, I’ll know.”

“Alright, Thomas.” You sigh. “Alright.”

“You have horses.” He pulls Draco over to him with the reins, flips them over the horse’s head, and walks over to tighten the girth and ground-mount. “I have work.”

“Yeah,” you say, heart sinking slightly. You walk over to Nifty and climb back onto his back. Thomas does the same with Draco. 

Part of you, the part that keeps you up at night with dreams of grandeur and friendship and love, wants to tell him. Wants to split your skull open and let him look into the crack, ask if he, like you, hates what he sees. You want someone to tell you, for once in your life, that you’re okay, that they accept you, that it’s alright to be who you are. 

After you get back, Tommy dismounts, leaving you with both horses to untack and wash. He gives you a polite goodbye, his eyes lingering on you a little longer than typical, and you watch him drive away. Once again, you wish he’d turn back. And, once again, all that’s left of him is dust. 

It isn’t until hours later that you realize you still have his coat. 

[nonexistent-introvert]

Snores

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Content: Joel's loud snoring kept you up at night. Joel felt guilty for it and tries to make up for it. Fluff!

A/N: You can't convince me that Joel doesn't snore. Anyways, my break ended which means i'm going to be busier than ever before but here i am writing at 1am so you best bet that i will still try my best to write often. Plus!! I'm trying to gain ideas for hug me pt 2 so that would be my main wip for now. Enjoy this drabble before i disappear for god knows how long

  You were so close to strangling your dear husband who was sleeping peacefully next to you. While he was in deep slumber, you lay beside him frustrated as you listened to his snores that never ended. The red numbers on the clock on the nightstand beside Joel, reminding you just how many hours of sleep you were missing out on and how the sun was going to come up soon. You let out a frustrated groan while you used your pillow to cover your ears, hoping that it would at least muffle the sounds of his snores. 

  You propped yourself up with one arm, turning to Joel’s side to stare at him. His mouth was slightly ajar as he snored loudly. You simply stared at him, planning some sort of way for him to shut up. Your body screamed for rest but the loud snores beside you kept you awake. It almost seems like Joel could sense your stare on him, he snorted before turning to his side to avoid your glare. You fell back onto the bed in relief, you finally had peace. You tucked yourself back into bed, nuzzling your nose into the pillow, excited to finally get the rest you needed. 

   At this point, you thought Joel was doing this to spite you. The moment you felt yourself drifting away, his snores came back, louder than ever before. Putting your relaxed body back in an alert state. The scowl came back onto your face while you glared at Joel again. His clock beside him let out two beeps, signaling that yet another hour has passed. You now officially had 3 hours to fall asleep before you had to wake up again. 

   It was true how they say love blinds all. In this situation, the obvious solution was to wake Joel up. However, whenever you looked at him, you just couldn’t bear to wake him up knowing that he needed to get up for patrol also plus, he already had a long day and deserved the rest. But you were oh so close to just cutting off his air supply by putting the pillow you had wrapped around your head onto his nose. Sound can’t travel through a vacuum right? Your fingers drummed against the surface of the mattress angrily, love is complicated. 

======================

   “What are you doing here?’ You were about to kill the person who had woken you up again. You mumbled a bunch of curse words at Joel, kicking your feet at him to ask him to leave you alone. Joel crossed his arms, your figure was curled up on the couch.“Feisty.” Joel commented, staring at how you buried your face back into the pillow. “Go to bed and sleep darling. You’re gonna get sore if you sleep here.” He nagged to your already unconscious form. You were exhausted. Joel smiled softly, his strong arms easily lifting you up. You stirred awake in his arms, inhaling his scent. The moment your body came into contact with the comfortable mattress of your bed, you had fallen back into your slumber. 

   “Darling, I put off waking you up for as long as possible already but we need to go out for patrol.” Joel’s thumb was caressing your side. You groaned, turning away from him. “Come on, I made coffee already. Tommy will be on our ass soon. Or worse, Maria.” Joel dragged you up. You simply fell into his arms, the man has zero idea what torture he had put you through last night. 

   For the entirety of the morning, you remained silent. Joel slowly trudged beside you on his horse, giving you worried glances every once in a while. Did he do something wrong? But he knew this wasn’t you giving him the silent treatment but more of you running out of social battery already. Something was definitely bothering you, but he didn’t know what. The constant scowl and furrowed eyebrows were also a sign. Joel gripped the reins a little tighter, he had tried his best to start conversations with you but all he got were half-hearted replies and grunts. 

   When the both of you finally managed to reach the safe house. You collapsed onto the couch with a satisfied grunt. The feeling of being able to lie down and rest your already aching muscles was like heaven on earth. Joel put down his bag, checking the both of you in like usual. His eyes fell onto your figure again, your arm was covering your eyes while you lay down. 

  “Darling,” Joel called out as he towered over your figure. You stifled a yawn while you removed the arm that was covering your face, humming in response to him. Joel’s heart dropped, your eyes were swollen and the dark eye circles around your eyes were a darker shade than usual. “Why do you look so tired?” He questioned. Your eyes widened and you sat up, you even took a calming breath. Joel stiffened, he had hit a nerve. “Why am I so tired?” You repeated in a mocking tone as you met his eye. “Hmm, maybe because I had one of the worst sleep in my life yesterday? And I am also running on-” You checked the watch on your wrist, “2 hours plus of sleep?” You finished. “Nightmare?” Joel guessed. You punched him lightly in his ribs, “The nightmare was the fucking snoring from you yesterday.” You scolded, lying back on your back. “I don’t snore.” Joel defended, he always did that when you told him he snored in his sleep. You shook your head at him, “You being in denial used to be funny but now it is getting on my nerves.” You warned. Joel sat down beside you, putting your legs on his lap. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad…” You chuckled at him, “Yeah, I was awake till like four in the morning Joel. You would stir awake and I would get a few moments of peace before it starts again. What were you doing? Trying to set a new record for the loudest snore?” You ranted to him. Joel swallowed, guilt making his heart clench. “Was that why you were on the couch?” 

   “No shit Joel.” You deadpanned, “And then you woke me up when I finally got to sleep. Joel, I was this close-” You lifted your index finger and thumb like you were pinching something in mid-air. “To just murder you in cold blood.” Joel laughed, massaging your legs that were in his lap. “I’m sorry darling, you should have just woke me up.” He suggested. You remained silent, knowing that you would never be able to bring yourself to wake him up. 

   “I’m sorry” Joel muttered again as he kissed you, a simple kiss that expressed all the guilt and apologies he felt for keeping you awake. A light tint of red coloring his cheeks, Joel was embarrassed by his snoring habits. The last time someone had complained was probably Sarah, he only snored when he was having a good sleep. The nights of sleep he had for the past decades in the apocalypse were plagued with nightmares and even when he was asleep, his mind was alert enough to react even to the softest of sounds. Tommy had always joked about how Joel’s snores would have gotten him killed. 

========

   After that day, Joel would play his guitar out on the porch until 12. You were puzzled at first, even offering to stay up with him. Joel was a morning bird and you were a night owl. He always slept at 10pm without fail and you would sleep earliest at 11pm, However, Joel was insistent that you go to sleep before him. 

   He also started bringing back flowers that he got from the greenhouse, claiming that they had extra. Joel also traded his precious coffee beans for the tea that you preferred. When you questioned him about it, he brushed it off as a craving for tea. You narrowed your eyes at him, knowing that Joel never had a single cup of the tea he had sacrificed his coffee beans for. 

   Later you would find out that Joel had pulled favors with the people who were in charge of the greenhouse for the flowers. The gardeners who were curious about the sudden appearance of Joel Miller coming for flowers had questioned you about it. “Was it your anniversary?” was among the many guesses they made. You simply shrugged, telling them that Joel had claimed that it was extra. You lied awake on the bed, staring at the ceiling. You were thinking about Joel. trying to figure out the reason for his unnatural behavior these days. 

   The door creaked open, you closed your eyes, pretending you were asleep. Joel stared at your form from the door, trying to determine if you were asleep. When he finally concluded that you were asleep, he carefully crawled into bed. He laid there facing you, admiring you for a while. 

  “Sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep.” He mumbled into your forehead before pressing a kiss there. You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips. The pieces of the puzzle finally connecting in your head. 

  Those actions, the weird behaviour. It was Joel Miller’s way of apologising. It was his way of ensuring that he doesn’t bother you again with his snores and making up for the hours that you had lost due to his snores. Your heart warmed, Joel had broke and changed his routine just for you and everyone who knew him knew he was a creature of habit. 

   “I love you.” You mumbled, pulling him closer to you while you buried your face in his chest. He stiffened slightly, surprised that you were awake. Joel put his arms around you, tangling his legs with yours. 

  “I love you too.” 

[muffinsin]

Well, Howdy! 🤠

::tips cowboy hat::

Hope you're right as rain and I gotta ask cowpoke,

::takes toothpick out of my mouth::

How you think those Dimitrescu gals sleeping arrangements with their misses be like?

I bet they have themselves wrapped around their beau like a rattlesnake strangle hold. Interested in your thoughts partner, but I gotta tumble with some cattle rustlers over yonder.

::jumps on a horse and rides into the sunset::

Yehaw translation:

Hey muffin, hope everything is going well on your end and I wanted to ask how do you think the Dimitrescus sister's sleeping arrangements with their s/o?

‐The Thirsty Anon

Howdy partner!🤠 What an interesting ask👀 I think I’ve mentioned sleeping arrangements and positions in past posts, here and there, so let’s make this one the official one🙌

Let’s get to it :)!

Masterlists

Bela

She doesn’t sleep a lot, really

That is especially so before meeting you, too

Drowning in her work, sleeping usually meant a 1 hour nap, maybe 3 hours max on a daily, in her office

And not on a sofa or bed, either

No, merely passed out in her chair, her cheek smudged against the papers on her desk

She didn’t particularly care about her lack of sleep, nor the way she slept

Her bed was mainly unoccupied during those times

With you, this changed

She sleeps more, or tries to, at the very least

She goes to sleep with you, cuddled up in her big bed

A queen-sized bed, really, with red or black sheets and satin covers and pillows

It lacks stuffed animals and only holds two pillows. The bare necessities, really

And still, when sleeping with you, Bela normally has her head on your chest anyway

Soothed by your heartbeat, this is her favorite sleeping position

Her body curled up a little, her hand in yours, the other holding onto her blanket. Her head rested on your chest

She loves hearing your heartbeat and the rise and fall of your chest calms her, she claims

You almost feel like she feels it even when she sleeps, for she always stirs when you purposefully hold your breath to stop such motions of your chest

There are absolutely bonus points for combing your fingers through her hair to help her fall asleep, too. She loves this and will purr have her flies buzz loudly long before slumbering and even keep this up as she is asleep

Should you ask her to spoon, she’ll agree, though likely be the bigger spoon

She likes sleeping with her arms around you

Thankfully, Bela is a quiet sleeper. No snoring, no moving. You won’t be awakened by the blanket snatched and snores in your ear

She’s a very light sleeper, though, waking up at every little sound

Often, she wakes up from small things, such as maidens dropping things, birds outside, the wind blowing harshly against the closed windows

She hates this, and is often quite frustrated when she is so terribly tired and keeps waking up

For this reason, another favorite sleeping position of hers, and an effective one at that, is with her head held in your hands

You cover her ears gently, hold her face close to your chest

It doesn’t ever block out all sounds, but your hands and loud heartbeat help her sleep through most nights

She’s immensely thankful for this

And, of course, there is a last sleeping position to explore, which the two of you usually find yourselves in during winter

You sleep with Bela tucked close to you, the majority of her in the form of her body, while some parts of her flies have broken off to sleep by your thighs

Bela claims she loves the warmth there

She’s wrapped in at least three thick blankets and sleeps in a warm clothing item of yours

Like this, you get to hold her and keep her warm and protected

She tends to get a little paranoid as it comes to sleeping in winter, both from genuine caution and awful experiences from her past

And still, your arms around her and your body radiating heat under the blankets has her feel as safe as one can be

Cassandra

She feels indifferent about sleeping.

Yes, she enjoys it, certainly. She loves the feeling, the concept of it. The mystery there is to sleeping and dreaming. She loves basking in the sun and sleeping on the windowsill as it hits her just right. She loves feeling sleep overtake her

But, she dislikes the time lost by doing so! She could have been hunting! She could have been playing! She could have found new weapons!

All in all though, Cassandra gets a good one hour nap throughout the day, two; tops, when the sunny spot in her Mother’s room is unoccupied

With you in the picture, she likes to pull you to bed with her for this, or rest her head on your lap and sleep when you’re busy

Her bed itself is large, and more like a nest, really

It holds many pillows, most that don’t even belong to her

For example, she has two black pillows set up in the bed; her own. Aside from those, she has three deep red ones stolen from her older sister. Then, you can always spot the pink and green pillows of Daniela’s bed sticking out. And lastly, you can always spot the large, white pillow stolen from Alcina’s room. Cassandra particularly enjoys sleeping on top of it and rolling around on it a little

Additional to that, it is full of blankets and clothing items stolen from you and her family

When attempting to remove them, she merely snarls a little at you and pretends she can simply get a replacement

Something you explore early on is that Cassandra dislikes sleeping anywhere but in certain spots picked out by her

Sleeping in new locations is difficult, so when asked to sleep in your room and share your bed, she refuses religiously

She likes to sleep in your clothing, though wouldn’t admit how safe and happy they make her feel

Cassandra, as much of a loner she can be, dislikes sleeping on her own when she could be sleeping with you instead

She likes to sleep on your lap or chest, curled up and grabbing your hand or thigh

At other times, she enjoys dragging you to bed with her. Then, a couple positions can be assumed

For one, Cassandra loves sleeping right on top of you

The warmth, the safety, your weight under her, your heartbeat and pulse loud enough for her to hear, safety in the knowledge you cannot leave or get up without catching her attention

She loves it! It calms her

Bonus points of course for holding her. She likes your hands best in her hair, her back, hips or ass

She will absolutely snarl and bite should you attempt to reach her thighs, though, so you avoid these at such times…they’re ticklish

When spooning, she prefers being the big spoon

She likes to feel you within her grasp

It also ensures her that you’re safe at night, which calms her greatly

She isn’t too fond of being the little spoon, but will gladly fall asleep holding onto your arm

With her head rested on it and her arms wrapped around it, her fingers holding onto it and her soft breath hitting your skin, she falls asleep easily

And lastly, two other positions she often finds herself waking up in, and you often have her sleep in

For one, on top of your lap, with her teeth grazing your neck still

No longer piercing, only scratching a little

Her lips soft against your skin, little whines escaping them as she awakens

Truly, after a long day, Cassandra is known to fall asleep drinking from your neck

And you can’t think of anything cuter

And last position is when she is curled up on you

Sleeping peacefully, her head on top of your stomach, her nose buried in your clothing

Her arm around you, the other around herself, her legs thrown over yours or tucked to her chest

At these times it almost seems as though she wants to take up the entirety of the bed. She only rolls her eyes when you point this out in the morning

Daniela

Daniela loves sleeping

She’s a little like a puppy in that aspect

She likes sleeping, little naps, dozing off, all of it. Though sometimes she is frustrated when it takes away time she would’ve liked to spend otherwise

She doesn’t necessarily need herself a bed to sleep in, either

Instead, you often find her napping on couches, window sills, carpets, armchairs, and- one of her favorites, it seems- right on top of a stack of Alcina’s clothing

Her bed, though, is incredibly comfortable

The first time you see it, you nearly gasp in surprise at the vast amount of things on top of it

Pillows, some her own, others stolen from her family members, and many crafted dolls and stuffed animals set up against them

Thick, warm blankets, some fluffy, some satin, some in green, some in red, some in dark blue

As it comes to you, she also loves to sleep either on your lap, or in bed

On your lap, she often sleeps right after feeding from your neck

Then, she slumps down and cuddles up against your front, her fingers wrapped around your wrist or fingers, her lips brushing up against your neck or collarbone with every breath

She loves when you hold her to you like this, safe, secure, close enough to feel and sense you with every part of her being

When in bed, there are a couple sleeping positions she loves to find herself in

Spooning is one of her favorite cuddling and sleeping positions of all time

Unlike her sisters, Daniela loves being the little spoon, though

She loves your arms around her, your chest pressed up against her back

Sometimes, she’ll be spooned facing you, at other times she’ll be turned away and hold onto your hand and a stuffed animal as she sleeps peacefully

At other times, Daniela falls asleep on her side, her head rested on your chest, her leg thrown over you

Sometimes, you hear light snores, at other times only soft breaths as she sleeps

Her favorites times are the ones when the two of you cuddle up and read together before falling asleep

And lastly, Daniela enjoys the times you fall asleep after being intimate

Tangled into one another’s arms, lips close to one another

Your warmth shared underneath the blankets

Your exhaustion quick to have you fall asleep

Happy, in one another’s embrace

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

Behold, a bracket!

Text form below the cut because trying to copy all the 256 into the alt text sounded.... horrifying. Warning for 128 matchups, seriously, this list is long, and so I've avoided adding the artists until the polls.

a note: the pinned post has started misbehaving, so only open polls will be directly linked. closed polls instead have the results page linked in the set header, all the polls are linked from there

Set 1

The Lament for Icarus (Miao He) vs The Lament for Icarus (Herbert Draper)

The angel came to me in a fever hallucination, perched upon my bed as I returned from the bathroom. vs Sweet Brown Snail

Figures vs A Philosopher Lecturing on the Orrery

Happy Shoppers vs Hubble Deep Field

Lovers Painting vs Bath Curtain

Dr. Helen Taussig vs Une Martyre

Orangoutang étranglant un sauvage de Bornéo (Orangutan strangling a Borneo savage) vs Can’t Help Myself

Rape vs Technicolor Hiroshima

Set 2

A Walk at Dusk vs Based on “Autoportrait with the Model” by Maria-Rayevska Ivanova

Diary Page vs Les Jours Gigantesques (The Titanic Days)

Dead of Night vs You Won't

Christina's World vs Bobby

Untitled (I’m Turning Into A Specter Before Your Very Eyes And I’m Going To Haunt You) vs Two Sisters (On the Terrace)

Sharecropper vs Lustmord

The Parca and the Angel of Death vs Untitled (Zdzisław Beksiński)

Stress vs The Fallen Angel

Set 3

Device to Root Out Evil vs Travelling Light

Diana vs Fifty Days at Iliam: The Fire that Consumes All before It

The Plains, from Memory vs Exotic Bodies

Doubting Thomas vs Self-Portrait in the Bathroom Mirror

Empty Nest vs Somebody Fell From Aloft

Anguish vs If I Died

Cat in Obsolete Bath vs You're Not Boring Anymore

Salvator Mundi (Savior of the World) vs Untitled (billboard of an empty unmade bed)

Set 4

There Will Be No Miracles Here vs Symphony of the Sixth Blast Furnace

Fox Hunt vs Tarpaulin

Khajuraho Group of Monuments vs Ranakpur Jain Temple

ปราสาทสัจธรรม (The Sanctuary of Truth) vs Grande Panorama de Lisboa

Heroic Head of Pierre de Wissant, One of the Burghers of Calais vs The Weather

The Daughters of Edward Darley Boit vs If this is art

Statue of Vincent and Theo van Gogh vs Jeanne d’Arc écoutant les voix (Joan of Arc listening to the Voices)

Fountain vs Judith Slaying Holofernes

Set 5

Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands) vs Cave of El Castillo

Chauvet Cave Bear vs Uffington White Horse

Laocoön and His Sons vs Winged Victory of Samothrace

Crouching Aphrodite vs Statue of Taweret

Guardian Figure vs Kūya-Shonin (Saint Kuya)

Ancient Greek doll vs Arena #7 (Bears)

Enbu (炎舞) (Dancing in the Flames) vs Yearning Shadows

Belfast to Byzantium vs Freedom

Set 6

The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayan vs Portraits

The Blood Mirror vs Nighthawks

Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate vs "Untitled" (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)

Lady Agnew of Lochnaw vs Forgotten Dreams

Saint Bride vs Pixeles (a group of 9 works)

War Pieta vs The Sunset

The Handmaidens of Sivawara Preparing the Sacred Bull at Tanjore for a Festival vs Ajax and Cassandra

Nāve (Death) vs Abstraction

Set 7

Yes vs Meeting on the Turret Stair

Hacked to Death II vs Stańczyk

Closeness Lines Over Time vs Voice of Fire

The Maple Trees at Mama, the Tekona Shrine and Tsugihashi Bridge vs Portrait of Sir Thomas More

Survival Series: In a Dream You Saw a Way vs Takiyasha the Witch and the Skeleton Spectre

Death blowing bubbles vs The Kitchen Table Series

Painting 1946 vs In the Grip of Winter

Untitled (Black and Gray) vs NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt

Set 8

Blue Plate Special vs Red Cedar

Palace of Fine Arts vs Mosque–Cathedral of Córdoba

Le Château des Pyrénées (The Castle of the Pyrenees) vs Susanna and the Elders, Restored - X-Ray

Moby Dick vs Viva la Vida, Watermelons

Venus Envy Chapter One (Of the First Holy Communion Moments Before the End) vs how to look at art

St. Sebastian vs Untitled #12

Carroña vs The invincible one

Untitled (Two Dogs) vs The Dog

SECOND HALF

Set 9

David (Donatello) vs David (Michelangelo)

The Other Side vs The Temptation of St. Jerome

Seated Woman with Bent Knees vs Starry Night

Headdress - Shadae vs Untitled for the Image Flow's Queer Conscience exhibit

Woman with Dead Child (Frau mit totem Kind) vs Les Amants (The Lovers)

Siroče na majčinom grobu (Orphan on Mother's Grave) vs You Make My World a Better Place to Find

Fighting Against SARS Memorial Architectural Scene (弘揚抗疫精神建築景觀) vs Fallingwater

Resting vs The Hull

Set 10

Olive Trees vs Worship

Glow vs Wheatfield with Crows

Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X vs Untitled (He Plays Very Badly)

D.I.Y. by John Wiswell vs The Tragedy

Judith and the Head of Holofernes vs Beethovenfries (Beethoven Frieze)

The Memory of Me (How Could I Forget) vs oh god i had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but i’m too drunk for words

I am happy because everyone loves me vs 瀕危形態 (Endangered Forms)

Three Scaffolders vs Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan

Set 11

San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk vs Water-Lilies, Reflection of a Weeping Willow

The Grief of the Pasha vs Monolith in Vigeland Sculpture Park

Passion vs Space Diner

Hamlet and Ophelia vs Two Earthlings

Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth vs Seer Bonnets

Photograph from "SNAP OSAKA" Collection vs Clytemnestra after the Murder

“Untitled” (Perfect Lovers) vs The Lovers (TIE)

Kedai Ubat Jenun vs Orange Store Front

Set 12

The Apotheosis of War vs Portrait of the Dancer Aleksandr Sakharov

Julie Manet vs Mouth

The Icebergs vs Kaleidoscope Cats III

Maman vs Caza Nocturna (Night Hunt)

The Book of Kells Folio 188r: Luke carpet page vs Ardagh Chalice

Yusuf and Zulaikha vs Dome of the Rock mosaics

Rowan Leaves and Hole vs Untitled (prisonhannibal)

Le Désespéré (The Desperate Man) vs The Dedication

Set 13

Deimos vs Dog and Bridge

The Mocking of Christ vs Prudence

The Broken Column vs Siberian Ice Maiden shoulder tattoo

Transi de René de Chalon (Cadaver Tomb of René of Chalon) vs Head of Christ

The Day vs Spirit of Haida Gwaii

Eleanor Boathouse at Park 571 vs Jatiya Sangsad Bhaban জাতীয় সংসদ ভবন (National Parliament House)

Juventud de Baco (Bacchus Youth) vs Barges on the Seine

Oath of the Horattii closeup vs Visit hos Excentrisk Dam (Visit to an eccentric lady)

Set 14

Christ Crucified (With Donor) vs St. Francis

Thunder Raining Poison vs Piazza d'Italia

The Grove vs Among the Waves

Pintura Mural de Alarcón vs Sagrada Família stained-glass windows

Noonday Heat vs La Dame à la licorne (The Lady and The Unicorn)

Matroser i Gröna Lund (Sailors in Gröna Lund) vs Gielda Plakatu

Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks vs The Garden of Earthly Delights

Kuoleman puutarha (The Garden of Death) vs Haavoittunut enkeli (The Wounded Angel)

Set 15

i've wasted a lifetime pretending to be me vs da oracle

minus #37 vs Panel from Fun Home

Excerpt from illustrated edition of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner vs La Mort de Marat (The Death of Marat)

The Veil vs Düsseldorf 4 (Museum Kunst Palast)

Capriccio vs Zodiac calendar for La Plume

The official imperial portrait of empress dowager Cixi vs José y Maria

Blooming Lilacs vs Lágrimas De Sangre (Tears of Blood)

An Interlude vs Boy Staring at an Apparition

Set 16

Mermer Waiskeder: Stories of the Moving Tide vs The Gran Hotel Ciudad de México Art Nouveau interior

Unfinished Painting vs To Arms!

Memorial to a Marriage vs The Island

Dropping a Han Dynasty Urn vs A Few Small Nips

Saturn Devouring His Son vs Guernica

Fairy Princesses vs Lamentation over the Dead Christ

Mummy with An Inserted Panel Portrait of a Youth vs Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party

Agnus vs The Cup Of His Murders Is Flowing Over And In His Coat Shall Be Many Curses

[bitchfitch]

idk my stained glass post is going around again and a lot of people are saying it's inspiring them but they're still hesitant to start whatever craft has their fancy rn, so here's a dipshit's guide to getting from horsey to whale when you're starting out a craft

Step 1: skim a tutorial.

don't take notes, don't pay all that much attention to it, give it like. at max 10 minutes of your time. Just get the general shape of the process into your head along with any relevant safety precautions.

the point of doing this is to stop yourself from forming expectations. Expectations are the motivation killer. Strangle them to death.

Step 2: Tool time

You may want to start right in on a project, you might even have one in your head already.

Don't. Stop that, see the point above about expectations. Your first project is going to suck major nuts, it doesn't matter what you do, so you simply must plan to make your first project as nut-sucktastic as physically possible. Burry your expectations so deep in the ground that you will leap over them by simply faceplanting.

So here's what you do instead, gather the necessary tools and materials then set aside an amount of material that you are ok with just pissing away. just absolutely wasting. If you went right in and got discouraged enough to drop a project while doing it, youd be wasting the materials anyway. Might as well get the wasting over and done with Before it eats hours of your mortal life.

Ok, now pick the first tool and associated skill involved in your new craft and just practice That. Don't try to make anything, just learn the motions and teach yourself how things move or break or bend or etc etc etc. all the real basic boring parts that don't produce anything.

Then move onto the next steps associated skills and tools. Connect them back to the product you got from practicing the first step if you can, then the third and so on, so that at the end of this ordeal you too can have a horrible abomination you can pretend looks like a horse.

Step 3: nap

With that done, fuck off and do something else for a bit. like for at Least a few hours if not a full day. Take a nap. do some drugs, play a hentai gatcha game, fuck if I care man. Just don't do the craft. This is the best way to kill expectations: fuckin forgetting what you're capable of.

step 4: learn it right this time

Actually watch/read that tutorial now. like. for real. give it your full atten and take notes on where you fucked up and how you struggled back in step two. like actual written/typed notes. You're going to be focusing on those areas and having a neat list to keep thing orderly in your head can help.

at this point it's also a good idea to try to find other tutorials that explain the Thing, but have a different person explaining it. or tutorials that are more granular. like ones that talk about the skills involved in a single step instead of the whole process. having that little bit more detail can be a game changer.

step 5: visualization

Come up with the easiest and most basic project you can think of while referring to that list of areas you struggled. You want this project to primarily focus on those weak spots and give you room to practice and improve them. ok. and now scrape the top 10% off the project. Make it easier make it smaller, make it less detailed, find a pattern instead of making your own, whatever just simplify it that little bit more.

Step 6: just do it

actually do that project while referring to your tutorials and notes.

Let yourself fuck up. Let yourself waste shit. And then move on. Don't get tangled in expectations, or let your perfectionism strangle you. Look it in the eye and strangle it back, make your shit uglier just to spite it.

Skills take time to develop. Give yourself that time and don't let your brain issues take the joy of creation from you. It's fuckin hard, but you've Got to do it if you want a modicum of happiness in this hell world. the vibe is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy but done with pure violence and vitriolic hatred of what your own neurosis are trying to take from you.

step 7: aw shit it's a never ending cycle

repeat step 5, but go for something a bit harder, then step six until you find a new muse to start over at step 1 with.

[pourcap]

thoughts: kr chapter 15 (pt. 1)

'If they come this way—’ said Nikandros in a low voice. ‘Hey!’ Laurent called out. (...) i bet this will make nikandors love laurent even more :)

(...) Brief visions of strangling Laurent weren’t helpful. (...) damen is the best protagonist ever

(...) Damen judged the distance between himself and the nearest of the approaching soldiers, his chances of killing them, of killing enough of them to even the odds for the others. (...) also does damen's mind ever not immediately go this route? imagine constantly being so on edge because you feel like you have to fight and protect because that's all you've ever known, and because you're the best at it so everyone's survival depends on how quickly you eliminate threat. so exhausting.

(...) ‘You are Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant?’ said the officer sceptically, as if this was a name well known to him. ‘No,’ said Laurent, as if this was the most foolish thing in the world. ‘I am Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant. This is my assistant. Lamen.' ummmm. okay. 'as if it was the most foolish thing in the world' made me laugh. laurent's brashness lol. also i absolutely love how laurent just went for the ship name, which is of course veeery far off from damen's actual name so they totally won't risk being found out at all

'I don’t suppose your men could aid us in our repairs?’ said Laurent. Damen stared at him. They were encircled by fifty mounted Akielon soldiers. Jokaste was inside that wagon. no way that's why laurent stopped them. is he insane???? i can 100% picture the way damen's staring at him.

just remembered "it's the game i like" so i'm guessing this turn of event makes sense

The officer said, ‘We’re patrolling for Damianos of Akielos.’ ‘Who’s Damianos of Akielos?’ said Laurent. His face was utterly open, his blue eyes unblinking, upturned to the officer on his horse. ahhhhh!!! oh god. also i looove when laurent puts on this faux-innocent look he used so much in book one. it's just so amusing to me bc he's such an asshole and i mean this very lovingly

(...) Nikandros had the slightly stupefied look that Damen remembered from several of his own adventures with Laurent. (...) can you believe i'm getting emotional over this? because damen knows laurent now. because laurent is known. for probably the first time in his life except for by auguste he has someone who really actually genuinely knows him and appreciates him for the way his mind works. i just love laurent and damen so much <3

Damen followed him in, acutely aware that he was being separated from his men. Laurent simply walked into the inn. such an interesting nod to how damen feels more comfortable in the presence of his men (whether that's because he feels the need to protect them or because there's safety in numbers in general) whereas laurent had to rely on only himself for the past years

(...) Perhaps he could overwhelm Stavos. He could negotiate some kind of exchange, Stavos’s life for their freedom. his brain just won't stop omg. imagine constantly thinking about how to get out of situation that could end in your death (also imagine how intimidating damen must look to an outsider since he's basically just always coming up with battle plans in his head lol)

'I can assure you. Charls the renowned merchant is already here.' noooooooo

'That is impossible. Call him out here.' ohh the audacity. laurent can be such a prince

Charls took one look at the unmistakable blue eyes and blond hair of his Prince, who he had last seen in Damen’s lap dressed as a pet in a tavern at Nesson. His eyes widened. Then, with a truly heroic effort: ‘Charls!’ said Charls. hahhaaha no way. bless the real charls <3

they're all charls :')

'Thank you, Charls, this man believes I am the King of Akielos,’ said Laurent. god he's soooo annoying i love him so much

'An agent of the King when he has raised taxes and threatens to bankrupt the entire cloth industry?’ said Laurent. Damen put his eyes somewhere where they wouldn’t meet Laurent’s, (...) i repeat: he's so annoying and i love him so much. also a fed up damen is so funny to me

'You speak very good Akielon,’ he said, loudly and slowly. ‘Thank you,’ said Damen. ohh that reminds me of that scene in book one when laurent had damen drugged and this guy told damen that laurent had an eye for detail or something lol

'(...) Nikandros is completely useless as the Kyros,’ Laurent said, loudly enough for Nikandros to hear him. ���He doesn’t know the first thing about cloth.' oh my god laurent stop antagonizing your boyfriend's best friend!!!

Damen looked over at Laurent, who was deep in conversation, letting his eyes pass slowly over every familiar feature, the cool expression tipped with gold in the firelight. He said, ‘Did he?’ ‘Charls said, think of the most expensive pet you’ve ever seen, then double it.’ ‘Really?’ said Damen. damen stop getting horny pt. 34972387

'Of course, Charls knew who he was right away, because he couldn’t hide his princely style, and nobility of spirit.’ ‘Of course,’ said Damen. hahahhahaha awww i love charls and i'm happy that in the future he'll have some new tales to tell about this moment right now

'Maybe you could encourage Akielons to wear sleeves. You’d sell more cloth,’ said Laurent. Everyone laughed politely at the joke, and then speculative looks crossed one or two faces, as if this young cousin of Charls’s might have stumbled by accident onto a good idea. you can always count on laurent to find a new way to be a nuisance to akielos <3

ahhhh did laurent push their mattress together to sleep next to damen????? i'm crying. sobbing, actually <3

they're kissing !!! i love them soooo much i can't even put it into words anymore, my heart just goes "!!!" every time they're close to each other

Laurent didn’t seem to care, even seemed to like it. Damen pressed him into the wall, and took his mouth. Laurent smelled of soap and fresh cotton. Damen’s thumbs pushed into his waist. laurent being turned on by damen's sweat... honestly if we got laurent's pov, he'd probably be just as intense about damen as damen is about him. they're truly a match made in heaven.

(...) They had not before had the luxury of extended lovemaking, deliberate and unhurried as a First Night. His thoughts ribboned with all the things they had yet to do. damen is such a softie!!! he's seriously just thinking about all the things he still wants to experience with laurent. he's so cute :')

(...) It was charming, because it was clear that Laurent was unsure exactly what to do, yet, typically, had acted to take control of everything. again: he knows laurent so well by now! i'm so emotional.

'First time to entertain a lover?’ Just saying the word made him flush, and he saw Laurent flush too. god. goooood. godddddd.

(...) He watched Laurent react to his body. Virgins and the inexperienced tended to get nervous, which he enjoyed as a challenge to be overcome, hesitancy turned into eagerness and pleasure. It pleased some deep part of him to see in Laurent the flickering of a similar reaction. (...) hmmmmm. :)))))))) i mean, he's wrong obviously, but i am super happy that laurent gets to experience sex with a good man who he finds attractive and who he likes and who is, on top of all that, great at sex <3

And dropped to his knees on the floor of the inn. i'm getting teary-eyed over a blowjob. seriously. i'm just so proud of laurent and of him taking initiative because he wants to do this with and for damen !!!!

that description of the contrast between laurent's internal struggle and practiced skill makes me sick

[talonabraxas]

‘Yama - King of Death’ by Palehorse

The Sanskrit calligraphy, translated by Easwaran states: “Get up! Wake up! Seek the guidance of an Illumined teacher and realize the Self. Sharp like a razor’s edge is the path, The sages say, difficult to traverse.”

Descriptions of symbols: The mandalas on the left represent 6 of the Chakras, or centers of vital energy within the living body that can be awakened as Kundalini Shakti.

• The seated boy represents the hero of the Katha Upanashad named Nachiketa who sits for 3 days in meditation waiting for Yama in the Land of Death. Next is a symbol created to signify 'The Fire of Nachiketa’ - a fire sacrifice that burns out the ego and leads to immortality.

• The eye represents the eye of Yama, who stalks about from the moment we are born.

• The heart and rope seeks to illustrate the passage: “When all of the knots that strangle the heart are loosened, the mortal becomes immortal.”

• In the story, the senses are compared to horses, that unless properly trained, will relentlessly carry our bodies through time, down the roads of selfish desires.

• The upside down tree is the eternal Ashwatta Tree, whose root is above, but its branches are downward, iIllustrating that the source of everything in the universe (our world) is Brahman. His dreaming is the root cause of time and space and we are the branches.

The symbol ॐ (Aum) signifies the primordial sound of ultimate reality, consciousness or Atman. Also included is an elephant, which points to Nachiketa’s visions caused by Yama, to entice and test him, as elephants were a symbol of material wealth.

[spacecatbowtie]

I know why - path 3: Sweet/Switch Din

Interactive story (Path 3 of 3)

Base story | Path 1: Dom Din | Path 2: Dark Din | Path 3: Switch Din

After the base story, this is one of the endings. Dark Din.

Warnings: Explicit MDNI 18+

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Chapter word count: 4.4k

AO3

Tags: #Angst #Smut #Porn With Plot #Mando needs to work on his communications skills #unprotected p in v #Fingering #First POV #no mention of oc name #No use of y/n #I hate y/n #OC wants to be taken care of #OC wants to be independent #kinda forced proximity #Exhibitionism #Interactive #Daddy Dom Din Djarin #sweet din #switch Din

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

I jerk my hand out of his grasp. "Don't pretend to have empathy all of a sudden.. bounty hunter." The words roll of my tongue like venom.

"I'm not pretending." The Mandalorian in front of me states.

"You have no regard for my feelings what so ever." He needs to feel what he made me feel in those increasing moments of uncertainty and denial. "I want to go. I can't stand to be near you anymore."

It is silent for a few seconds. As expected he gives as much of a reaction as with every other situation. none. I push past him, colliding with him, witch hurt me probably more than him. But that is not the point. Then I stop I my tracks as his strangled voice reaches me.

"I'm sorry..." It sounds as if it pains him to say it.

Slowly I turn to him. I should just walk away, I should leave.

With a sigh, his shoulders slack. "I'm sorry you thought I was pushing you away, which I really was, I see that now. But I don't want you away, and-" Another sigh, his helmet tips down, as if he does not have the courage to look into my eyes.

Since when did he talk so much? Baffled, I stare at him as he rambles on. My face softens. It is kind of endearing how he acts all uncertain now.

"Look the truth is, I don't want you hurt. Thats why I am hesitant to take you with me on jobs." The warmth of his grip that surrounds my hands and jaw disappears, and appears on both my shoulders instead. He cages me in again. But this time it's not invading. His helmet is still tilted down. Are his eyes closed? Is he looking down at the ground, or my feet, or wherever those eyes are.

I hope he is looking at some part of me.

The unexpected thought makes my cheeks glow warm.

Another sigh from him. "I think another reason I have been pushing you away, is because I know there is something that I know I want. But I know it won't work."

As if he wants to see every detail of my reaction, his visor snaps up at me, and I am still looking at him with wide eyes. I'm happy to notice that my mouth doesn't hang open.

"And I also don't let you come with me, because you distract me."

A nervous laugh that sounds more like a wheeze, is the first thing out of my mouth. "Are.. am.. How.. In what way do I distract you?"

The grip of his hands on my shoulders tighten slightly for a second, before he places them on my hips. "In what ways don't you..." His voice sounds horse and soft. "You always look so beautiful and precious. When you smile, I want to worship you-" His hand reaches up again and a thumb moves over my bottom lip. "When you cry I want to hold you. And when you look at me, it makes me want to..." He hesitates for a second. "Touch you."

This is not happening right now.

Surely, any moment now, I'll wake in my bunk alone and horny. It'll be like so many other times I had dreamt about him. He would always tease me with his voice and his hands, just as he is doing now. However, I would always wake up just before he'd touch me where I need him most.

His warmth disappears when he takes a step back. "I'm sorry. I did not want to put you on the spot like that."

I realize I have been zoning out, and staring through him while in my thoughts about him. "No, it is okay, I just did not expect this." I grab his hands to prevent him from moving further away from me, and he just looks at our conjoined hands. He stares I think. Softly he squeezes back and I smile softly at him. He is cute when he acts shy.

"Thank you for telling me, Mando." My hands let go of his, and slowly follow the shape of his arms, from the wrists until his biceps. They feel solid, and tense even more underneath my touch. I don't know where I get my sudden courage from, but I feel bold. It could just be the sexual frustration kicking in, or the fact that he basically admitted to feeling at least something for me. Whatever it is, I decide to take the next dangerous step. "But maybe-" From his arms, I move to touch his cowled neck and ultimately slide my hands down his chest to lean in close. "maybe, I like distracting you."

There is no reaction from him except the sudden quick intake of breath. Not that I expected him to say something. I suspected he was not very experienced with people in this way.

During the time I've been with him, he has never brought someone to his ship. I suspected that at least a few of the times that he was away, he was enjoying some company, paid or not. But now it appears that this might not have been the case. I think he distracts himself from the need for affection through his profession.

I can work with that.

Unmoving and patiently, he is still waiting for what happens next. I look up at him, my smile turning sly. "I really want to have sex with you right now."

He is so tense, that I can feel it radiating off him.

"Dank farrik." He breathes finally. And with that he envelops me in a tight hug, taking me off guard. "Girl, the things you do to me.."

I let out a laugh and return the hug. Relief floods me, he took that well, he is not revolted by me, like part of me feared. Perhaps he might even feel the same about me, as I do for him.

The distinctive smell of him fills my nose when I breathe in, face pressed against his body. It is a warm smell, like coming home after a long day. The leather scent makes my head feel light and tingly, my need for him builds. There has been enough waiting already. I take advantage of his distraction. Just as Mando had done to me before, I turn him around and shove him back against the wall. He is taken off guard, even though he is big and heavy, he is quite easy to manipulate. His back hits the rough stone, making the beskar on his shoulders cling with a metallic sound.

He does not have time to respond with a clever remark, because I drape against him once more. "Touch me, Mando." I guide one of his hands to my waist and one above my chest. This is near the places I want him to touch me, but I want him to take his time and not to rush him in something he may not be comfortable with yet. In the meantime, I step one leg in between his and stand close. with my upper thigh, I softly apply pressure against his crotch. The soft groan that he fails to hold in, is music to my ears.

I proceed to tease him with smooth motions of my leg. Through the movements , I feel him getting harder. Angling my hips I try to rut his thigh and receive some pressure where I need it. He catches on to what I want and places his foot a little forward, so his leg makes contact with the sweet spot between my legs.

"Use me to get off" He rasps while keeping his hands on the same places on my body as I had placed them. It is as if he is scared to do something out of line.

"You can touch me." I keep moving my core over the beskar piece on his thigh. "I want you to touch me."

Finally his hands come to life, slowly they creep over my body. One to cup my breast and one my butt. "You feel so good." There is a hint of wonder in his voice.

There are too many layers. I need to feel him, every part of him. Even though I can't see his face, I look up at him as I slide my hand down his chest. The visor is dark as ever, not showing a hint of emotion or humanity. It is the way he reacts to me, that I know there is a human underneath the many layers of him.

His breath hitches when I touch his erection through his pants and give him a few teasing taps there. A wicked smile spreads across my face. I can't help but bite my lip at the thought of touching him, the real him, the soft silky skin over the hard shaft that I know is there. With both hands, I open the fly of his pants and pull him out. Finally I touch him, a real part of him. Other than the times I helped him stitch up small gashes, or the time he took off his gloves, I have never seen any part of him.

Moving my fingers around him, I give a few experimental strokes, making him whimper. He out right whimpers with that low voice of his. Something inside me snaps. My pupils dilate and more wetness collects between my legs.

I take a step back and reluctantly he lets go when I release myself from our embrace. Keeping his hands in mine, I marvel at the fact that I can finally feel him. I need to feel him, now that I am finally able to.

Just as I am about to get on my knees to be able to taste him, he stops me with a hand on my arm. "Wait." Instead, he kneels down in front of me. On his way down he softly moves his hands over my thighs and legs, taking his time with feeling me. The gloved covered fingertips slide down the insides of my legs, down until he reaches the leather make-shift armour. Struggling with the laces, he unties the leather chin protection. Carefully he slides them off, followed by my boots.

Never had I thought he could be this gentle. Having him down on his knees in front of me feels strange. It makes me feel powerful, like I could take him on, even though I know I never could.

He gets up again, but I shake my head. "Sit down." My voice is hoarse.

His helmet tilts.

I nod my head at the ground. "Sit down against the wall."

At first I think he is not going to obey, but then he gets down, keeping his visor on me. He sits back against the wall. The heels of his boots leave a trail in the sand as he stretches his legs.

I hook my thumbs underneath the waistband of my pants. Keeping out of his reach, I slide them down slowly. The hands at his sides clench as he watches me. Grinning, I crouch down to straddle him, my legs at either side of his hips. My bare feet dig in the warm sand. Grabbing his length again I continue stroking him, slowly, with a tight grip.

softly, he caresses up and down my lower legs with shaking fingers.

Lifting my hips, I line him up to my entrance. "Do you want this?"

The hands on my thighs squeeze me, seemingly holding himself back from pushing me down on himself. He gives me a nod and a short groan.

"hmm? what's that?"

"I want you." He grunts out.

Dragging his tip up and down my heat, I make sure he is nice and wet. Stroking him, I spread the slick around his length.

He now actually pulls me down on his cock, making us both gasp as the head enters me. The stretch is already better than I had Imagined. I shudder, almost losing myself, but this is about him. I want to make him feel good, I want to give him everything. Everything I have thought about in secret, all the things I have dreamt about.

Moving my hips, I lower myself further on to him. My hands search for support on his shoulders, as he fills me completely.

His strong arms help me gently up and down his shaft, letting me fuck him slowly. The sensation of the ridge on his head spreading my walls feels overwhelming. My insides are cramped every time he fully settles inside me. The sounds he lets out make everything even better, his grunts and suppressed wheezes crackling through his modulator.

Placing a hand on the side of his helmet, I look at where I think his eyes should be. "I want to hear you, don't hold them in." I don't know where the confidence comes from to order something from him, but I feel like there is a part of him that wants to submit to me, even if it is just a bit.

I think he gives me a slight nod, but I could have imagined it. After I sink down on him again, with more force this time, the guttural grunt he lets out is orgasmic. Still I believe he suppresses the sound, but it is louder this time. Perhaps he is afraid others down the street will hear, or maybe he is just shy and does not trust me with this vulnerable side of him yet.

Focusing on the feeling of him inside me I become even more wet. "Oh, Kriff, you fill me so deep, Mando. You feel so good." His hips buck, and he starts moving with me, fucking up into me, still at a relatively slow pace.

"Hmm, you like dirty talk?" I tease him. I slide my hands down his sides where he is not covered in armour, feeling the hard muscle under a healthy layer of fat. Leaning closer, so I can whisper in the crook of his neck I continue. "Never expected this day to end like this. Me, on top of you, bouncing on your thick cock." my neck and cheeks glow hot from the words that spill out of me. Just like I never expected to fuck him, I never expected I could say things like this. I almost regret saying them, what if he laughs at me or does not like it?

Quickly my doubts are disproven when his head falls back against the stone wall, creating a hard clink sound. The hands on my hips tighten almost painfully as he pulls me faster up and down. "I needed to fuck you for so long, mesh'la." He grunts out between heavy breaths.

As I grow more excited, the wet sounds become louder in the silence of the dark alleyway. The fact of what he admitted makes my heart swell. But what if this is just something he says in the heat of the moment, and he does not mean it? I push the thought away and just focus on being present with him.

I pull at the heavy fabric of his cape and cowl. There are too many layers! finally I manage to expose enough of his skin to kiss and lick the part between his shoulder and neck. This is as close as I can get to kissing him, really kissing him. Oh, how I wish I could suck his bottom lip between my teeth and lick inside his mouth, to feel his kisses all over my body. But, this would have to do. His body jumps underneath me as my lips make contact with his skin, then he relaxes and twitches inside me, making me giggle. Who knew this Mandalorian could be so responsive and sensitive.

"Kriff, mesh'la, you are ruining me." He wraps his arms around me and pulls me flush to his chest. It feels like a hug, his body wrapped protectively around me, keeping me close, keeping me safe.

He plants his feet on the sandy ground, bending his knees so he has more leverage. Then he starts this pace of fucking me hard and deep, almost not pulling back at all before he plunges in again. His pubic bone rubs against my clit, causing sparks of electricity to shoot through me.

"Fuck, yes Mando! keep going!" My legs tense around him, squishing his hips as I drown in pleasure. I cling to him as if he is what is keeping me alive, this is not even far from the truth. At this moment he is the only thing for me in this world, his warmth, his smell, this man that is mine right now. I don't care that my bare knees scrape in the rough sand, or the cooling air on my skin. Mando is warm enough for the both of us, his body heat transferring through his beskar armour.

To my frustration he slows the pace down. "Wrap your legs around me, cyar'ika."

All these new words he is calling me, what do they mean? He speaks them almost like a prayer. I'm sure they have a deep significance.

"Come on." Taking my arms, he makes me wrap them around his neck. Still inside me, he stands up, his strong thighs almost having no trouble with lifting us both. I squeal and wrap my legs tighter around him.

Before I can ask him what he is doing, he turns around. One hand on my waist and the other behind the back of my head, he presses me against the wall. The hand makes sure I don't hit the wall too hard. This gesture makes me smile up at him. It causes a warm feeling to swirl in my stomach, it is different from the feeling of lust however. This is closer to what I felt since the moment my feelings for him started to develop. That time he pulled me out of harms way of a blaster bolt, or the time he brought me a sweet fruit cake after he returned from one of the jobs.

Holding me tightly against him, he ruts in to me again. Way to slow for my liking, but when I buck my hips to search for more friction he holds me still by my hips, forcing me to endure this slow teasing torture. I bet he is grinning under his helmet at my pathetic huff.

I have an Idea, and can't bite back the grin on my lips as I cross my ankles behind his back and pull him in. His hips shoot forward, entering me fast and hard. "Fuck me better, Mando. I've had enough of this slow game. I had thought you'd be rough with this."

"You feel too good. I want to last long for you."

A sense of guilt spikes my blood. It is too selfish of me to demand something. I am about to apologise when he speaks again.

"So you have been thinking about this? Me making love to you?"

My eyes widen. Did I just admit to that? And why did he use the words 'making love?' Is that just the way he calls this, or does this actually mean something to him, something more than just a one-time fuck. Could this be more?

"I- eh,"

"Don't worry, I'll give you more to think about." At this, the sluggish pace changes into something that is the complete opposite. He plunges into me, pushing further than I would have thought possible, pressing his hips against mine as far as they will go. Then he almost completely exits, only the tip of his cock inside, before slamming inside me again.

Now it's my turn for my head to fall back. Despite his previous care for me not to hit my head, it still hits the wall behind me as my eyes roll back. I think I am saying things, telling him how good it feels, but I have no control over my body, my words or my hearing for that matter. My eyes open to the evening sky, but they see nothing but bright colours as he fucks in to me, my brain being completely de-wired.

Strong fingers dig deeper in my thighs, my breaths are shallow as he presses his body into me, his smell filling my every breath. With every snap of his hips, his pubic bone grazes my clit perfectly. I am getting close. He must notice it too, maybe due to my trembling legs, or my moans that I had been able to suppress until now.

His helmet is gently placed to my forehead, his visor aimed at my face. I look at it, hopefully staring in his eyes as my orgasm rushes closer.

"You are doing so good, you are perfect." He rambles on. "Come for me, I want you to come around me."

The thought of him feeling me squeeze his length makes my mind run wild.

"You come first." I manage to grit through my teeth, not wanting him to have all the control. "Now."

The pace falters. He curses something in his own language, I think, because the syllables sound foreign to me as he grunts them out. "Where?" It almost sounds as if he is in pain.

"in- inside. It's safe." I hadn't even finished the first word when he starts to throb and continues a irregular pace, slowly fucking his cum deeper inside me.

After a few deep breaths he halts, hips flush to mine. "You didn't... Come." It sounds so sad that I almost regret ordering him to finish.

"Can still." I say breathless as he slowly softens inside me. "But don't pull out. Want to feel you inside me when I cum."

This draws a near whine from him. He readjusts me so he can hold me with one arm, keeping my body from the ground by pinning me tighter to the wall.

His gloved hand hovers in front of my face. "Take it off."

I don't need further explanation. I yank his glove off. Not as fast as I want, it gets stuck on some of his fingers. When the annoying layer of leather is finally removed, I stare at the slightly tinted skin. A broad palm, thick and long fingers. His hand is so big compared to mine, it makes me feel safe for some reason. I want this hand on my skin, I want it traveling up my thighs, worshipping me.

"Now I want to make you come." Slowly he places two fingers on my wet mound, making me jump at the sensitiveness of the nerves there.

His fingers part as he feels how my lips are spread to accommodate him. Even though he came, he is still half hard inside me.

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face against his collarbone, breathing him in. "Then do it."

The fingers press a little harder against my core, slowly circling, exploring me. His attentiveness causes me to become more wet. He notices and grunts, the rumble of it vibrates against my chest. "Beautiful." he murmurs while his fingertips move almost ticklish around my mound.

"Stop teasing!" I want to sound strict but it comes out as a pathetic whine.

"Srry ma'am." He hums. His fingers applying more pressure and slipping through the slick with ease.

I dig my nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. The hot smell is like an aphrodisiac, sending a tingling sensation through my body.

The warmth of his skin, mixed with the structure of his fingerprints on my sensitive clit sends me soaring. I am flying, the fire burning hot as my body tenses and bucks. At the overwhelming bittersweet sensations. Every tenth of a second it grows more intense than I had thought possible.  

Noticing my body growing closer to my desperate release he tightens his hold. He removes his hand from my hip, but he keeps me in place by pinning me between him and the wall. My legs are tense enough around him to keep them from slipping. Moving his free hand over my body, he thoroughly feels every bit of me on the way to my face.

The thumb, still covered by the damned glove caresses my cheek, my jaw, and softly down my neck, like slow and loving kisses he is unable to give with his lips. "I will serve you, until my very last breath." He says it softly with his helmet buried in my hair. I dont know if I was even supposed to hear that, but stars, it was hot.

Normally I would probably have laughed at the direct and slightly strange comment, but right now, with him pleasuring me, almost like he is worshipping me, appreciating me, it makes me come. It is the final droplet in the bucket that makes it overflow. I come hard and long, my limbs tightening and trembling around him.

"Mesh'la" He groans in my ear, followed by more words of his language I don't understand. Moving his hips, he slowly rides me through my orgasm. His dick had swelled to his full size inside me again.

My breath finally slows down. "Being so good for me." I let my head rest against his shoulder. "Made me feel so good, Mando."

After a few moments he grabs on to my thighs again to lift me off of him.

When my feet touch the ground, my knees tremble beneath me. Immediately he steadies me. "We have got to get you in your pants again."

He is right, it had been dangerous enough fucking out in the open. On top of that, the night air had dropped in temperature. Goosebumps spread over my legs when a slight breeze goes by.

After helping me pull the tight pants up and buttoning them up for me, he kneels down to slide my boots on my feet.

I grin as I look down at him. "I don't know why, but I like you in that position."

"When we are"When we are back at the ship, I will show you all the things I can do for you in this position." He says while sliding a naked finger from my ankle to nearly between my legs.

His voice is so warm, so loving, so different from what he had sounded like for these few months. My heart swells from relief and happiness. Relief from finally coming and because I finally made my feelings clear to him. He had accepted them with open arms, literally.

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Base story | Path 1: Dom Din | Path 2: Dark Din | Path 3: Switch Din

Let me know what u think! Which of the 3 paths did you like more? <3

[jrwi-fanapalooza]

And now I Present to you:

Statistics of the JRWI kissing submissions, for the nerds of the fandom

In total, there were 166 submissions; 53 of which were unique characters

11 Characters were submitted more than 4 times:

Queen: 12 submissions (7.2 % of all submissions)

Chip: 12 submissions (7.2 %)

Jay: 10 submissions (6%)

Rumi: 8 submissions (4.8%)

Gillion: 8 submissions (4.8%)

Caspian: 7 submissions (4.2%)

Peter Sqloint: 6 submissions (3.6%)

Kian Stone: 6 submissions (3.6%)

Timothy Rand: 6 submissions (3.6%)

Amanda Rinn: 5 submissions (3%)

Aslana: 5 submissions (3%)

Together, those characters make up 85 submissions, or 51.2% of all submissions (which is to say that 11 of the 53 characters made up HALF of the submissions)

The three characters that had the most variation in their submissions (different spellings, capitalizations, or nicknames) were:

Jay with 7 variants

Gillion with 6 variants

Chip with 5 variants

A few notable individual submissions:

JAY FERIN RAAAAHHH

Niklaus Hendrix (the babygirl ever)

Chip the Bastard

gillion tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy

(specifically in the gillion tidestrider voice) gILLION TIDESTRIDER

CASPAISNAJANANAN (caspian, for legibility purposes)

jay of the ferin variety

Dugon (probably spelt wrong)

Rolan Deep but like buggo rolan

The three characters who had the longest reasons were:

Strangle MaCock with a 156 word reason

Timothy Rand with a 136 word reason

Rolan Deep with a 108 word reason

Two characters tied for the shortest reasons, both with only one word:

Timothy Rand with “Bruh”

Mark Winters with “DILF”

Something to note about those two: apparently people have both everything to say about Rand and nothing to say at all

The percent of characters from each campaign:

The type of smooch percents:

And finally, the 4 characters who came up the most in these statistics, each with their name appearing in 3 separate categories:

Chip

Gillion Tidestrider

Jay Ferin

Timothy Rand

[cosmerelists]

If Era 1 Mistborn and Stormlight characters met each other…

If the Era 1 Mistborn gang and the Stormlight characters happened to meet up, what would that be like? 

[Includes spoilers through Rhythm of War & Era 1 Mistborn!] 1.  Dalinar & Elend

Elend: And THEN the council voted ME out! Man, democracy is just so hard!

Dalinar: Have you considered straight-up tyranny?

Elend: A-actually, yeah. Unfortunately.

Elend: It just…works so well…

Dalinar: I know.

Dalinar: Let’s not dwell on it.

2.  Shallan & Vin

Vin: My mom tried to kill me.

Shallan: Same.

Vin: Luckily I had my brother who cared for me. But he also had a cruel streak.

Shallan: Yeah—trust me, I know.

Vin: I trained as a thief & con artist for a while.

Shallan: Oh hey, me too! And that’s fun, but I also like wearing nice clothes and marrying someone socially above my station, you know?

Vin: Yeah, same!

Shallan: But also…I’ve murdered, just, so many people. Including family!

Vin: Killed my boyfriend’s dad.

Vin: And ex-fiancee.

Vin: And brother.

Shallan: Yeah, the murders just keep coming!

Vin: Crazy how that works.

3.  Straff & Sadeas

Sadeas: Knifed in a hallway by my nemesis’s son. Right into the brain. Eye popped and everything.

Straff: Literally cut in half by a giant sword wielded by my son’s girlfriend. My horse, too.

Sadeas: Bro.

Straff: Bro.

4.  Breeze & Sebarial

Breeze: Well, it certainly is nice to relax with a glass of wine & let the other characters make the jokes, isn’t it?

Sebarial: …why did I just get you wine??

5.  Sazed & Sigzil

Sigzil: And as a Worldsinger, I learn about other places and then share that knowledge to bring people together.

Sazed: That’s simply wonderful! I think feruchemy would work so well for you!

Sigzil: It does seem like an amazing power.

Sazed: Also, do you ever want to, just…

Sigzil: …strangle Hoid?

Sazed: Yeah.

Sigzil: Yeah.

Kelsier: Yeah!!!

Sazed: Kelsier, get to your own section! 

6.  Spook & Lift

Lift: So you…eat metal. And it gives you powers?

Spook: Yeah. I get my power from burning Tin.

Lift: After you eat it?

Spook: After I eat it.

Lift: Sucks to be you! I get my power from PANCAKES. 

7.  Marsh & Navani

Marsh: …and with these metal spikes piercing my body, I gained a number of powers. Also immortality. Apparently.

Navani: I am so horrified. And so intrigued. You’re going to make SUCH good research!

Marsh: The horror doesn’t, you know, put you off?

Navani: Nah, you should have seen my last research partner.

8.  TenSoon & Kaladin 

Kaladin: So you are a…puppy?

TenSoon: Well, I have the ability to consume the bones of a canine and then take on this shape.

Kaladin: [nodding]

TenSoon: That doesn’t…disturb you at all?

Kaladin: I don’t know enough about dogs to judge.

9.  Zane & Szeth

Zane: And basically, with the voice of God constantly in my ear encouraging me to kill, I did that! Kill, I mean.

Szeth: Obeying an unknown disembodied voice because you thought it might be god? What foolishness.

Zane: Didn’t you obey a rock?

Szeth: That was DIFFERENT.

10.   Kelsier & Moash 

Kelsier: The thing is—aristocrats just gotta be murdered, you know?

Kelsier: You look into their faces, see the reflection of their endless crimes, and just think, “Yup. Murder time.”

Kelsier: And some people are like, “Kelsier, stop murdering everyone!”

Kelsier: And it’s like—do I tell YOU not to do what YOU’RE good at?

Kelsier: I’m good at three things! Survival. Starting cults. And murder.

Moash: …

Moash: I think I love you.

[thecreaturecodex]

Hawktoad

Image © Frog God Games, by Stan Morrison

[When I was struggling with writer's block, I attempted to start a project where I converted a bunch more monsters from Sword and Wizardy's Monstrosities book. The hawktoad was the only monster that was actually finished from that attempt. Like a lot of S&W monsters, it combines low HD with high lethality, being a 2 HD monster that can start strangling a PC to death with a single hit from its tongue. The throttling critical ability is my attempt to combine that in theory with the practice of game design where characters are a little less disposable.]

Hawktoad CR ½ N Magical Beast This creature resembles a fat toad from the waist up, with a tadpole-like tail instead of lower legs. Rather than hop or crawl, it flies, gliding through the air as if it were water. Its forelimbs end in clawed feet, and it has a sharp beak in place of a mouth.

Hawktoads are magical carnivores that combine features of amphibians and birds. Most sages assume that they are unnatural creations, either the product of meddling mages or a consequence of magical radiation. They use their prehensile tongues to hold prey down while tearing at it with their talons. Their beaks are relatively soft, and more useful for processing dead meat than causing damage to the living. Although a lone hawktoad will only attack prey of its size or smaller, they become daring in groups, and may attack prey the size of a horse.

Hawktoads live in mixed-sex flocks. Unlike either hawks or toads, they are gregarious hunters, with multiple individuals dive-bombing the same victim. They lay leathery eggs, which they bury in moist soil during the rainy season. The young are precocial, able to wiggle out of the soil on their own and fly to join the nearest flock, which may or may not be the flock of their parents. Hawktoads take relatively well to captivity, although they grow listless and sick if kept in a cage instead of being allowed to fly free. Because of this wanderlust, they are popular mascots among nomadic peoples. A hawktoad may be taken as a familiar by a neutral spellcaster with the Improved Familiar feat of at least 3rd caster level.

Hawktoad     CR ½ XP 200 N Small magical beast Init +1; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +5

Defense AC 13, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 natural) hp 9 (2d10-2) Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1

Offense Speed 10 ft., fly 60 ft. (good) Melee 2 claws +3 (1d3), tongue +1 touch (grab) Special Attack grab (Large), throttling critical

Statistics Str 10, Dex 13, Con 9, Int 2, Wis13, Cha 6 Base Atk +2; CMB +1 (+5 grapple); CMD 12 Feats Multiattack Skills Fly +7, Perception +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception

Ecology Environment temperate hills and plains Organization solitary, pair or flock (3-18) Treasure incidental

Special Abilities Flight (Su) The flight of a hawktoad is a supernatural ability Throttling Critical (Ex) If a hawktoad successfully confirms a critical hit with its tongue attack, it wraps its tongue around its opponent’s neck. This prevents the creature from speaking or using verbal components, and the creature must hold its breath or begin to suffocate.

[meme-streets]

dollars event day 3. prompt: laughter / desert ---

The cemetery’s close. He can tell because Tuco’s been twitchy lately.  He's been riding fast and hard, always insisting on a few more miles before dark, trying to make better time.  Maybe he's right; there's still Angel Eyes to worry about, not that he's going to find the gold with Blondie.  But with each passing day Tuco gets a little more antsy, and that's making him antsy too. He's been thinking about that day in the desert.

It's a lucky thing, in hindsight, that neither of them killed each other.  Lucky that Tuco put greed before his pride.  Lucky that, for all those first few days were hell, Blondie was in no state to do much but lie there half conscious, or else he has no doubt he would’ve done something he'd likely have regretted for the rest of his life.  It gave him time to cool off.  With his head clear there's other, stronger reasons: that he knows he mostly deserved it.  That he wants the gold just out of spite.  That it’s Tuco.  But in those first days it wouldn't have stopped him.  Ten, fifteen miles into the desert he understood why Tuco was angry.  Twenty, and he understood why it was the sort of thing you killed a man over.  Thirty, and he didn't care anymore; given the chance, he would've dragged Tuco off that horse and strangled him. He'd been laughing.  Dozens and dozens of miles of sand and sweat and blistering skin, eyes burning and limbs aching, and Tuco had been laughing at him all the while.  And for whatever belief he has that it had been coming to him, and for whatever ill-advised fondness he might have for his partner, it's not the sort of thing a person forgets.

Late over a dying fire, Tuco looks at him with eyes as dark and endless as the night around them, a look like anything could happen, and Blondie wonders how somebody can look at another person that way and still want them dead. He wonders what he's going to do about the fact that he can't.

[mr-danger-to-my-sanity]

Legend of Da Yu'er / Legend of Xiao Zhuang (2015)

In my desire to watch everything Liu Xueyi has been in that I can find, and mixed with a dash of "I watched this so you don't have to", I'd like to introduce you to Ezhe, the biggest asshole on the Mongolian plains. When looking for more pics from this show I came across a weibo post where someone said "all the worst things a man can do in a drama was given to him", and they're not wrong. This is him.

The basic premise of the show is the life of Da Yu'er, the most beautiful woman in all of Mongolia who lives an unfortunate parallel to Helen of Troy in that she is desired by men who go to war over who should have her. Ezhe is one of them.

(Trigger warning for abuse & sexual assault)

We first meet him at the marriage tournament of our female lead, princess Da Yu'er of the Khorchin tribe. Ezhe is the prince of the Chahar tribe who is confident he will win the horse racing and archery contest, but doesn't hesitate to threaten his fellow competitors for good measure. And for most of the tournament he is winning! Until the Jin Emperor Huangtaiji who has been a spectator thus far, decides to throw his hat into the ring and beats him in the last race, claiming Da Yu'er as his concubine. Ezhe claims that this was all set up ahead of time and is an insult to his tribe to be played like that, setting himself up as an antagonist for both the Khorchin tribe and the Jin Emperor.

(Dont let the wispy lock of hair fool you, things are about to get BAD)

The Khorchin leader offers Ezhe a marriage with Da Yu'er's cousin which is accepted by his father, but Ezhe is HORRIBLE to his new wife for the sole crime of not being Da Yu'er. He strangles her, threatens to torture her for his own amusement and kills her blind mother by pushing her headfirst into a wall. Eventually she has to pretend to be crazy just to get him to leave her alone.

But a truce marriage isn't enough for Ezhe or his father, both of whom think their tribe should be at the top, so they lay siege to Khorchin, only to eventually retreat when the Emperor sends reinforcements.

He disappears for a few episodes only to come back and attack Khorchin again, this time taking their leader (Da Yu'er's grandfather) hostage, and will only exchange him for Da Yu'er, regardless of the fact that she is now the Emperor's favourite concubine. He settles for initially exchanging her grandfather for the male lead Prince Dorgon (the Emperor's brother and the man that Da Yu'er actually loves) to be his hostage instead, threatening to kill Dorgon if Da Yu'er isn't handed over in 3 days.

Ezhe also knows about the weird love triange between the Emperor/Da Yu'er/Dorgon and taunts Dorgon about it at every opportunity. When the deadline is up for the exchange/execution, Da Yu'er shows up at the last second and agrees to his demands only to trick him and run off with Dorgon, leaving Ezhe with a knife to the hand and an even bigger rage boner.

Several episodes later it is now 6 years since Ezhe lost the marriage tournament (and we know this because he keeps harping on about it). Da Yu'er is travelling through the region to escort a new bride back to the palace when their carriage is ambushed and they are kidnapped by Ezhe. Even Ezhe's father thinks this is a dick move but can't convince Ezhe to release them.

(Dad saying what everyone else is thinking)

Ezhe threatens to kill the extraneous woman plus Da Yu'er's cousin who had tried to help them flee, forcing Da Yu'er into tearfully agreeing to marry him. They have a quick wedding offscreen before he drags her to the marriage bed, but he is thwarted by too many layers of clothing which allows enough time for Dorgon, Da Yu'er's brother and some guards to rescue her, and Ezhe is forced to retreat again.

(Have some insufferable smirks for getting this far)

After the death of his father, Ezhe becomes the leader of the scattered Chahar tribe at the same time the Jin Empire is in the process of fighting back the Ming Empire. To save having to fight wars on two fronts, the Jin Emperor sends Dorgon to make a truce with Chahar, inviting them to surrender and assimilate into the Jin Empire. Ezhe naturally refuses and battles with them instead, even poisoning the lake to weaken the Jin army, but in the end is still outnumbered. Ezhe agrees to meet Dorgon to surrender but uses the meeting as a last ditch attempt to kill him, but is captured and his mother surrenders on behalf of the Chahar.

The Jin Empire is successfully rebranded as the Qing Empire, and as the leader of the Chahar, Ezhe is given a title and a ministerial position. He can now mock Dorgon with impunity and waltz around the palace and follow Da Yu'er to his smirking little heart's content. He doesn't even care that his first wife has become the Emperor's newest concubine, or that the Emperor had betrothed him to another princess for the sake of unity, he only cares about Da Yu'er. He looks for every opportunity he can to point out that she is technically his wife since they had a wedding and invites her to run away with him. When that doesn't work he sneaks into Da Yu'er's palace and tries forcing himself onto her, chased off by her maid smacking him over the head with a paperweight.

The next time he attempts to forcibly consummate his dubious marriage, Ezhe drugs Da Yu'er and manages to get shirtless before the Emperor and all of his guards descend on the bedroom and finally drag him off to prison. Even in prison Ezhe is defiant and mocks the Emperor to his face for wanting to only exile him and not kill him, declaring that he is happy to die for love. But he doesn't go without a fight, breaking free from his restraints and fighting the Emperor's bodyguard before turning his blade on himself to insist on Da Yu'er's innocence.

(Totally understand the desire to chain him up and strangle him.)

Ezhe: "It is distinguished and admirable to die for love. I will be elegant and unconventional if I die this way."

~~~

(It was here where I stopped watching because I thought he was dead and then wrote the following:)

Can I make any case for positives? He genuinely mourns the death of his aunt and his father. He obeys his mother when she surrenders, and appears to treat his sister well when they're in the palace. And despite never caring what Da Yu'er wants, when the Emperor catches them together and sets to punish her for adultery, Ezhe takes full responsibility and pleads to the Emperor not to punish her.

So... he's a romantic, if in a very twisted way? Oh good gods this probably the way people romanticize real life serial killers. At least Ezhe is a *fictional* asshole.

~~~

But this behind the scenes picture of Liu Xueyi in a costume I hadn't yet seen prompted me to watch further and lo and behold, the Emperor called for the imperial physician to save Ezhe's life, and he was in a coma and being cared for by Dorgon (of all people). When he wakes it is 9 months later (to coincide with the birth of Da Yu'er's son and the rumours of his parentage). Ezhe is weakened so much that he has lost his martial abilities and the Emperor chooses not to punish him any further in order to keep the peace. Ezhe relays his gratitude to Dorgon for his caregiving and his apologies to Da Yu'er for hurting her. He even tries to turn away his fiancee, calling himself a "wicked sinner" but she sticks by him and he begins to reform his ways.

For the next 14 episodes he disappears off the screen until it's 6 years later and the Emperor is dead. Dorgon (now the Regent for Da Yu'er's Emperor son) comes to visit Ezhe, who has been living a quiet life outside the palace with his wife and son, spending his time reading holy books. Dorgon invites Ezhe to join him in battle against the last of Ming army to which he readily agrees.

Under Dorgon's command, Ezhe leads an elite team of soldiers to pretend to be allies and mislead the enemy, helping the Qing army close in the ranks around them. Side by side with Dorgon he fights the last Ming General into retreating into the woods. Ezhe protects Dorgon by diving in front of the general's guandao/polearm, spitting up blood but not conceding. The enemy general slices off Ezhe's right arm at the shoulder, but Ezhe grabs the polearm with his left hand and proceeds to beat the general back with a series of mighty kicks until Dorgon captures him once and for all. The adrenaline of the fight gone, Ezhe hits the ground like a fallen tree, and Dorgon cradles him in his dying moments. Ezhe has finally paid back Dorgon for saving his life and is happy to die a dignified death on the battlefield after being weak for so many years, with one final request.

With his last breath, does he ask for Dorgon to say goodbye to his wife for him? To look after his son? To bury him next to his father in the Chahar plains? No, Ezhe's last dying words, true to form, are "Take good care of Da Yu'er for me."

(Thats the end, congrats, have some battle scowls.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes on his reform: Ezhe does end his arc in a lot better form than he began, but it was still very self centered. When he woke from his coma, his gratitude and respect was for Dorgon to whom he apologised for the hurt he'd caused. It was only after Dorgon pointed out that he'd hurt Da Yu'er the most that Ezhe asked Dorgon to pass on his apology to Da Yu'er too. No mention at all of the torment he put his first wife through, or how he endangered his own people on many occasions for his own desires. He throws the fish back into the pond when fishing because the fish "is a living thing", but is still wishing he had the strength to fight back when the Emperor's son insults his pride. Although his wife and son appear to have a happy life when we briefly see them, Ezhe refers to his domestic life as his time "being weak" and eagerly riding off into battle. And his dying words? Take care of Da Yu'er "for me." She's the bloody Empress Dowager at this point, but he's still thinking of her through the lens of his association with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Would I recommend watching?

For the story? It's a palace drama with a very soap opera vibe, which got a little much for me so I only skimmed through it to keep up just enough with the plot. I liked the main characters but was not as invested in them to keep watching after Ezhe died, but it certainly wasn't boring at any point.

For Liu Xueyi? If you've read this far then you're at least aware of the godawful shit Ezhe does and if you want to see him glare and smirk and fight his way through the show with a curly wig and some big jewellery then go for it. He's a great antagonist and his fight scenes are really quite good. (And if you only want to watch the episodes he's in, I can give you a list).

This was a surprisingly bigger role than I expected it to be for his second drama, and could very well be his OG Asshole character (I haven't found his first drama yet so can't attest to his character in that) so if you've ever wondered why he gets cast as assholes as often as anything else then this might just be the reason why.

This show is listed on MyDramaList as The Legend of Xiaozhaung, but I found it with English subtitles on YouTube as The Legend of Da Yu'er.

Costume Gallery: