jeongin x reader - "firsts are the worst"
pairings: skater!jeongin x fem!loner!reader
genre: romance, fluff, dash of angst, childhood friends to lovers, highschool!au
warnings: reader is socially anxious, making out, jisung + minho (with his girlfriend) make an appearance
word count: 6.4k
summary: jeongin and you have seen each other almost every day since you were kids. that is, until he made new friends - cooler friends. will the two of you reconcile, or will you spend the rest of the school year hiding out in the toilets?
a/n: the first of the high school sweet hearts series !! this is a wholesome one to start off with but i'm so excited to start working on the rest >:))
masterlist - series masterlist
reblog if you enjoy!
“Y/N! You’re going to be late!”
You make a dash for your backpack in the corner of your room, ramming your shoulder into the doorframe on your way out. It doesn’t hurt, you’ve done it so many times. You take care not to fall down the stairs in your rush and opt to pull your shoes on today - thank god you left the laces tied up.
Your mother waves a lunchbox in your face, “You need to stop doing that, I can’t afford to keep buying you new shoes."
You’re already opening the front door when you snatch it from her, “Just take it out of my allowance.”
“Have a good first day!” she calls out to you, her voice growing quieter as you burst into a run.
“I’ve done it many times before,” you think to yourself, glad that you didn’t have time to say it to her out loud. She’d clip you round the ear for it.
Rounding the corner, you let out a sigh of relief when you see the bus just pulling up to the stop. And Jeongin is there too.
You barrel into him, almost knocking him over in the process as you use him to break your sprint. You were never very good at slowing down, anyway. He’s gotten very good at catching you these past few years, always holding you at arms length by the shoulders.
It’s different this time, though. You only saw him just last night, but today was your first day of your last year of high school. Maybe he had just forgotten over the summer, but this time his hands land firmly on either side of your waist. It feels weird… different, but it does the job. You pull away and try not to think about it.
“Late on the first day?” he tuts at you, taking a step back to let you on the bus first as the doors open.
“Wow, such a gentleman,” you retort, making your way to your favourite seat at the back corner of the bus and waiting for him to sit down next to you before you continue, “At least I wasn’t waiting there for ten minutes like a loser.”
“It was only five today,” he huffs.
“Oh, an improvement from fifteen the other year. It’ll be zero next year,” you grin.
He squints at you, “There is no ‘next year’.”
“Right, so my mother keeps reminding me,” you roll your eyes, watchful of how he opens his mouth, hesitating for a moment to say something, “And you better not start harping on about applying to university, too.”
The rest of the ride is spent in silence. So is the walk into your all too familiar school. It’s not a good silence, but not a bad one either. When you’ve seen someone every day for the past seventeen years, you run out of things to talk about. But you liked the silence, it was comforting. Especially on your first day.
Nothing has changed - the hallways are the same, the people who pass you, your locker code. Hell, you even have the joy of keeping your chemistry teacher from last year. Still, you couldn’t stop your heart from leaping out of your body with every step you took. Your voice cracked when speaking to the teachers, your hands shaky when you received your timetable.
In three years of high school, the only friend you had was Jeongin, and you were lucky enough to be placed in the same classes the entire time. Your luck had to run out at some point, though, and you absolutely dreaded the waiting game you had to play on this day, every year, to find out if you were going to be a loner or not.
“Firsts are the worst,” you sighed, already holding your timetable out to him as you finally retreated from your teachers’ gaze.
He grabbed the sheet of paper from you, holding it next to his as his eyes scanned them. Peering over his shoulder, you felt your heart drop into your stomach. Snatching the two timetables from him, you looked closer as if it would change what you just saw.
“We have no classes together!” you whined, pushing his timetable into his chest.
“Are you really gonna miss me that much?” he laughed, “I see you, like, every day after school anyway.”
“How does this school even have enough people taking media studies for there to be more than one class?” you look up at him with a frown.
“Calm down,” he awkwardly pats your back twice, “It’s not the end of the world.”
“It is!” you pinch your nose bridge between your fingers in a feeble attempt to calm yourself down, “I don’t have friends!”
“Well, maybe you can finally make some.”
“Says you,” you scoff, “you don’t have friends either.”
He purses his lips together, “Well, maybe this will be a learning experience for the both of us.”
So the two of you began your first ever school day apart. You made a point of picking the most isolated seat in every class - usually a table in the back corner. You knew you weren’t going to be able to make any friends, so you thought that keeping to yourself was the best option. You just about manage to make it to lunch without bursting into tears, although you were close several times, but the thought of seeing Jeongin again kept you going.
[You] usual place?
[Jeongin] actually i’m gonna hang out with minho today
[You] minho?? the kid who always wears that old leather jacket
[Jeongin] yes, minho
[You] i wonder how old it is, actually
[You] let me know if it smells
[Jeongin] no smell
[You] how did you even end up hanging out with him
[Jeongin] he sat next to me in maths
[Jeongin] did you not make any friends?
[You] what do you think?
[Jeongin] you’re free to join us
[You] thanks but no thanks
[You] i’ll see you after school
Refusing to wait even a second to read his reply, you dropped your phone into your backpack and slung it over your shoulder. Your media teacher kept talking as the bell rung, music to your ears, but you were quick to file out with the rest of your classmates. You felt free as you finally stepped out, merging into the background with every other student in the school that bustled into the corridor.
You quickly put one foot in front of the other. Just like the rare few days where Jeongin had been too sick to come in, you would retreat to the comfort of a bathroom stall to enjoy your lunch. Alone.
The end of the day finally rolled around and you followed the path you had taken after school every day for the past three years. Only someone was missing next to you. His absense weighed down on your shoulders even more when he was nowhere to be found at the bus stop. He was always there before you, always making sure the bus waited for you and scolding you for showing up at the last possible minute. The only reason you were on time today was because you were so eager to see him.
Did he go home sick? Had he finally had enough of you? You quickly propped your backpack up on the brick wall next to you, cursing yourself for ditching your phone underneath all your folders and textbooks. When you finally retrieved it, you weren’t surprised that the only notifications you had were from Jeongin - the ones that you had refused to read earlier.
[Jeongin] oh i think i’ll hang out with him and his friends after
[Jeongin] it’s the first day so we won’t have any homework
[Jeongin] i told my mother, i’ll see you at dinner anyway
It was bound to happen eventually, you thought. He was the more sociable one, always ordering at cafes or speaking to retail employees for you. You sometimes didn’t understand why he always preferred sticking with you instead of making other friends, especially when he did it so easily just today.
The bus journey home was silent, again. But it wasn’t the good silence. You made a mental note to bring earphones tomorrow, in case this happens again. Your mother greets you at the door with a slightly lopsided smile.
“You’re not going round Jeongin’s today?”
“Later. For dinner,” you slip out of your trainers using only your feet, not even sparing your mother a look as you make your way to the kitchen.
“Are you not going to tell me how your first day was?” she prompts, following you around like a lost puppy.
She only pries because she loves you, you know this, but after the day you’ve had, you don’t feel up to talking with her. You want to snap, but it would only result in an argument. You settle for something blunt, but not directed at her, “It was the worst.”
She sighs, “You say that every year.”
“Yeah?” you finally look up at her, away from the selection of snacks lined up in the cupboard, “Well, it was actually the worst. Jeongin and I aren’t in any of the same classes.”
“Oh, are you afraid, sweetheart?” she saunters over to you in an attempt to pull you in for a hug, but she’s done it too many times for you to not successfully sidestep away.
“Afraid? Me?” you scoff, “About what?”
“Well, you’re not going to be spending as much time with him this year… are you worried he’s going to forget about you?”
Not having picked a snack yet, you slam the cupboard door shut, “You forgot to buy poptarts.”
She tried calling out for you, but by the time you had withdrawn to your room and made a point of closing the door with a bang, she gave up. She knew by now not to bother you when you were like this, knowing how you were aware of how childish you were being. At least she gave you that space.
Jeongin’s parents usually made dinner at 6:30pm. It was currently only 3:43pm. You didn’t have any homework to do, meaning the next three hours were about to pass very slowly. Usually, you and Jeongin would help each other out with homework, getting it done much quicker than most, before killing time together. Without him there to make a pillow fort with, to go on a walk with, to watch bad movies with… you finally realised just how lonely you were for the first time. If only you were good at making friends.
You fall backwards onto your bed, staring at the misshaped glow-in-the-dark stars plastered all over your ceiling. You had painted those with Jeongin when you were seven, your father letting the two of you take turns in sitting on his shoulders. Today was the first time in a while you had actually acknowledged they were there, their presence so normal to you that you had taken them for granted.
Jeongin didn’t show up to dinner that night, his mother welcoming you with a sigh, “He texted a couple minutes ago saying he was getting food with some other friends instead - he didn’t tell you?”
You shook your head. You would’ve known if he had messaged you. It’s not like anyone else does, anyway.
“Honestly, he could’ve let me know earlier. Or he could have at least told you,” she continued to berate her son despite the fact that he wasn’t there to listen, “he’s never done something like this before, it’s beyond me.”
The two of you pinkie promised not to talk about it any more, agreeing that it would upset your stomachs too much to enjoy dinner. You ate with her, strangely happy to discuss how ridiculous the price of eggs were these days. You made sure to eat all the eggs on your plate after that.
You would’ve preferred silence, but only the type of silence that could be achieved with Jeongin. Silence on your own was too much - you could hear all of your thoughts. But talking with his mother, helping her clean up, randomly deciding to bake cookies with her after, all of those things would have to suffice for now.
“They just need to cool down now… It’s getting late. Why don’t you go home and pop ‘round tomorrow to pick them up, okay?” she gestured to the tray of cookies on the stove top, the room still warm from all the heat escaping the oven she had opened seconds prior.
“Okay, I’ll be off then,” you announce, not even bothering to slip your trainers on properly as your house was only just around the corner.
[You] where were you today?
[You] your mother wasn’t very impressed lol
When you checked your phone the next morning, you were already at the bus stop. After his flakey behaviour the day before, you realised you might not be able to rely on him to keep the bus waiting for you.
[You] helloooo?
[You] yang
[You] jeong
[You] in
[You] are u sick or something?
As the bus rolled to a stop in front of you, you thought about yesterday morning. Or, rather, all the details you thought you could ignore. It wasn’t just that his hands landed on your waist; you saw how he looked at you differently, his pupils dilating even though he feigned annoyance, his ears growing red at his brazen action, the way his hands hovered close to yours on the bus journey. Maybe he was ignoring you to play hard-to-get.
You struggled to comprehend it. Why was he suddenly acting like that towards you? Sure, everyone thought you were a couple, and the two of you often made jokes about it, but it was never something that you thought was on the cards, not with your childhood best friend.
If his goal was to play hard-to-get, he was certainly doing very badly. Or, very well. You hadn’t heard from him in weeks. Summer turned into autumn turned into winter. He never showed up to the bus stop in the morning or after school, nor did he ever respond to your texts. He was definitely very hard to get a hold of.
Meanwhile, you were resigned to waking up early in order to catch the bus, struggling through your classes and your homework alone, spending lunchtimes in a bathroom stall, and scrolling through your phone for hours on end until it was time for bed. You usually struggled to sleep, the sight of the painted stars above only serving as a reminder of what you were missing.
It was those same painted stars you woke up to in the early evening, completely disoriented as to when and where you were. You could have sworn going to sleep at night, but your phone clock read 6pm. It was still light outside, as well - it was still summer. Your throat and mouth were dry, one of your socks missing in your bed sheets and your eyes puffy from sleep.
Knock knock.
Your head snapped up towards the door, suddenly remembering where you were.
“Honey, you should leave soon if you want to eat dinner at Jeongin’s,” your mother called.
Right, of course you had just fallen asleep. Jeongin would never do something like that, even if he had found other friends. But it felt so real, it even felt like months had gone by in the few hours you had been unconcious.
You remembered what your mother said to you about being afraid, shaking your head in disgust at the thought of her being correct. You had to pretend you were still mad at her for not buying poptarts, after all.
Reluctantly standing up, you felt something roll off the bed with you, landing softly on the floor. It was your fox plushie - Yangie. You weren’t the type of person who collected stuffed toys, but this one was gifted to you by Jeongin for your birthday a couple years ago. He said he bought it because of how much you loved foxes, never questioning why you named it after him, or how you always kept it next to your pillow.
“Tell Jeongin he can come over tomorrow, okay?” she reminded you as you slipped your shoes on, only semi-satisfied with how you readjusted your appearance after your nap, “I’ll be making his favourite.”
“Don’t worry,” you sighed, “at this point, he knows he’s allowed over, anyway,” you reminded her - this had been the routine for nearly the past two decades, after all.
“Oh, and don’t do what you did last time, okay? If you’re going to stay over, at least text me.”
You rolled your eyes at her. Whenever you went around Jeongin’s for dinner, you usually ended up sleeping over. His bed was bigger and comfier, and you had left some of your clothes and duplicate toiletries there. Sure, your house was only around the corner, but you would usually get too lazy, huddled up under his blankets watching a film.
How you two had managed to ignore your feelings for each other for this long was beyond your parents.
“That was one time,” you mumbled under your breath, quickly stepping out an shutting the door behind you before she could respond.
The front door to Jeongin’s house was already unlocked, his mother fully aware that you were coming over.
“Oh, Y/N, we were wondering where you were,” she hears you immediately, scurrying out of the kitchen with a steaming bowl in her hands, quickly placing it on the table, “we were starting to think you weren’t coming.”
You look over at Jeongin, his eyes trained on you as you walk around to your usual spot. You don’t miss the way his lips slowly curl up into a smile and how he pulls the chair out for you. He’s done it plenty of times before, but it feels different today. Like he’s trying a little harder.
“Sorry, I fell asleep,” you chuckled, “my mother had to wake me up.”
“Rough first day?” his mother chuckled, taking her own seat opposite you, “I thought you two might be tired, having to adjust to the school schedule again, so I made hangover soup.”
“We’re not even hungover,” Jeongin pointed out, reaching for the serving spoon anyway, “Y/N, pass me your bowl, I’ll serve you first.”
You noticed how his mother eyed up all of his movements, slowly nodding her head in approval.
“Don’t worry, whenever I experience my first hangover, I’ll come to you,” you joked, exchanging a knowing glance with Jeongin’s father.
He never usually said or did much, and everyone usually forgot he was there, but he was cool. He was the one who bought the two of you alcohol as a reward for making it through the semester, and always gave you a lift home if you missed your bus - which happened a lot. And he never told your parents.
“So, Innie, are you going to take Y/N with you tonight?” his mother asked once every one had started eating.
You look up at her in confusion before turning to Jeongin for an explanation.
“Did you not see my texts?” Jeongin raised an eyebrow at you.
“No,” you said in between mouthfuls, “I was asleep, remember?”
He rolled his eyes, “Have a look.”
You quickly apologised to his parents for taking your phone out at the dining table, aware that they probably didn’t mind at your age anyway, before having a look.
[Jeongin] so we went roller skating
[Jeongin] remember how i mentioned i always wanted to try it
[Jeongin] they’re going to be at the skate park near our street after dinner. do you wanna come?
“Oh, yes, I remember,” you tried your best, and failed, to refrain from laughing, “You blew your monthly allowance on a pair of roller skates and gave up as soon as you fell on your face.”
“Hey!” he pouted, “I have a scar from that now, you know?”
“Of course I know,” you look over at him for a brief second, instantly pinpointing the small, white scar peeking out from under his fringe.
He looked over, your eyes meeting for a moment before you turned back to your food. You stared at him a lot - whenever you wanted to scare him or if you were just zoning out, but it felt weird to look at him for too long now. You were worried he would get the wrong idea… or maybe the right idea.
“Anyway, do you wanna come?” he asked again.
“I know nothing about skating, Jeongin,” you pointed out, “I don’t even have roller skates.”
“Just trust me,” he pleaded, “Minho’s girlfriend said you could borrow her skates, she’s your size.”
“You’ve known them for a day and they already know who I am?” you voiced out loud, more for yourself than for him.
“Oh, of course he has,” Jeongin’s mother inserted herself into the conversation, probably growing tired of watching your juvenile back and forth, “He talks about you all the time, I’m not surprised.”
“Mom!” he groaned.
“What? It’s true,” she pointed out, “I think it’s only gotten worse today because you two aren’t in the same classes.”
“Tell me about it,” you prodded at your food, “it was hell, today.”
“Yeah, I wanted to try spending break without you for a change, but it just felt wrong,” he admitted, but you could see how he was trying his best to ignore his ears turning red.
“Oh, how sweet~” you cooed.
“Stop.”
His father was kind enough to change the subject, asking about the people in your new classes before abruptly standing up, announcing he was going to start tidying up. Jeongin’s mother followed suit, collecting all of your empty dishes; his father always insisted on cleaning up to return the favour of his wife cooking, but she always tried to fight him over who should do it. It was a something you had seen many times, but it still had you in awe of them to this day.
“So,” Jeongin stood up, pushing his chair out with an unsavoury scraping noise, “are you coming?”
You shrug, trying to look like you weren’t putting too much thought into it, “Sure.”
The truth was that you were actually very nervous. You didn’t like hanging out with new people, hence why Jeongin was your only close friend, but you also didn’t wanna pass up on the opportunity to spend time with him. It felt a bit pathetic, since you see him every day, but if your dream taught you anything, it was that you couldn’t let him out of your sight.
Without saying another word, he hurried to the door and picked up his skates, which had now found their place among the rest of his shoes. They looked almost the same as when you had first seen them; they were white with teal blue accents, only now they had gained a few more scratches and scuffs.
Once you had left, you asked, “So, who’s actually going to be there?”
“Minho, his girlfriend, and his friend Jisung.”
“I still can’t believe Minho has a girlfriend. He just doesn’t seem like the type,” you mention, “Wasn’t he, like, a player?”
“I guess so. I didn’t really think about it - he’s actually quite nice, especially to his girlfriend,” he explained.
You sucked in a breath through your teeth, “I’m fine with your parents, but I don’t know if I can sit through more people being lovey-dovey.”
“Don’t worry,” he chuckled, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at his feet for a moment, thinking of what to say, “we can always ditch and spend time together, just the two of us. Like usual.”
“Honestly, after today, that’s all I want.”
“Was it actually that bad today?” he asked.
“Well, the classes were fine. We don’t usually talk during those anyway,” you started, “But I spent lunch in a toilet stall.”
“In a toilet stall?” he scrunched up his nose in disgust.
“What? I do it every time you’re not in.”
He shrugged it off, “Sounds like you, though. Continue.”
“I was a bit upset when I found out you weren’t getting the bus home after school, but that’s on me for not checking my phone,” you started recounting your day. It was the first time you had to do this in a while, since he was usually there with you, “And then I had that nap, but I had the worst dream ever.”
“You? Had a bad dream?” he questioned, “You only ever have weird dreams - what happened?”
You started chewing at your lower lip, wondering if you could get away with making up the dream, or if you should just finally tell him the truth. Luckily for you, you had just turned the corner at the end of the street and came face to face with none other than Lee Minho.
“Oh, hello there,” he smiled, not even remotely startled as he took a step back to get a better look at you, “Jeongin’s friend… sorry, what was your name again?”
“Y/N,” you introduce yourself with an awkward smile, unsure of what to say next.
“Y/N! Have you skated before?” he asked, leading the way to the park.
You shook your head, “When I was, like, seven.”
“This will be fun, then,” he grinned, “Jeongin started during lunch today and fell over instantly.”
“Hey, I’m better now!” he complained.
Minho patted him on the back with a laugh, “You improved a lot already, don’t worry.”
“Really?” you perked up at the common interest of teasing Jeongin, “I find that hard to believe.”
He rolled his eyes at you, “I’ll just show you.”
When the three of you arrived at the park, you noticed two kids sat on the edge of the skate pool - a boy and a girl you recognised from your year. They stood up and made their way to you, panic surging through your veins as you realised you would have to make conversation with them, too. You knew the boy was Han Jisung; he was in your maths class with Jeongin last year, making innuendos and silly faces whenever the teacher turned her back. You had only ever passed the girl in the corridors between classes, but you assumed she was Minho’s girlfriend.
“You’re late,” she commented.
Minho scratched the back of his head, “We’re here, though.”
“At the cost of my sanity,” she looked over at Jisung, “he keeps going on about that girl in his English class - he’s only known her for a day!”
Minho shook his head, “Come on, you don’t want to scare Y/N off now, this is her first time skating.”
“Oh, right,” Minho’s girlfriend held up her rollerskates, “You might need these.”
You sat down with Jeongin to put on the skates, struggling to do up the laces tight enough. Without saying a word, he knelt down in front of you and diligently tightened the laces before neatly doing them up in a double knot. He made sure both sides of the bow were an equal length before getting up, quickly finding his balance. It reminded you of when you were younger and still struggled to tie up your laces - he was always ready to tie them up neatly, playing with the loops as if they were rabbit ears.
Putting your hands flat on the ground either side of you, you attempted to push yourself up, panicking when your feet started sliding away from you and instantly sitting back down again.
“How the hell am I supposed to get up?” you sighed, staring at the rollerskates in defeat.
Jeongin looked over at the others behind him, occupied in deep conversation in the middle of the skate pool, before turning back to you and holding out his hand, “Hold on to me.”
Using both your hands, you gripped onto his arm and trusted him to pull you up. Your feet started sliding out from under you again, threatening to send you to the floor on your back, but Jeongin quickly grabbed your shoulder with his free hand, keeping you steady. With him holding onto you, you felt a lot safer - braver to stand up properly.
Eventually managing to stand up straight with the help of clinging onto his shoulders, you smiled, “That was terrible.”
“Don’t worry, that was probably the worst part,” he laughed, looking at your hands still resting on his shoulders.
Blood instantly rushing to your cheeks at your close proximity, you quickly let your hands fall back to your sides. You realised your mistake only when you started to feel yourself lean forward, the skates slowly rolling backwards. You quickly clung onto his jacket for support while his hands landed either side of your waist, just like they did at the bus stop in the morning.
“How have you not fallen over yet?” you pouted, looking up at him and deciding against removing your hands.
“I actually fell over loads earlier today,” he admitted, carefully removing one hand from your side and rolling up his sleeve on his other arm to reveal a nasty graze spanning half of his forearm, “I did this after school today.”
Forgetting your own worries of falling over, you grabbed his arm to take a closer look, “Did you clean it? You could get an infection.”
He nodded, “Yeah, I did, don’t worry, Mom,” he laughed.
You sighed, pulling his sleeve back down to look at him, “If I get injured, I’m gonna kill you.”
“I know,” he pursed his lips together, “so I’m not gonna let that happen.”
He skated backwards a little, his hands slowly sliding up your sides and down your arms until he could hold both of your hands. He held on tightly, moving even further back so that he dragged you forward, doing all of the work for you.
“Do you think you can move on your own?” he asked.
You shook your head.
He lead you to the lampost nearby, gesturing at you to hold onto it. It was cold, and although it was arguably a much more steady object than Jeongin, you would have preferred to keep hanging onto him.
“You can start slowly, but you need to face your feet outwards and move like this,” he demonstrated by skating around the lampost, “And try not to lean forward, even if you feel like it will help.”
He came back to you, carefully taking one of your arms and linking it through his. You copied him, gradually moving faster as your confidence grew with Jeongin by your side. When he unliked your arms, you finally found it in you to stand on your own.
He made his way back to the lampost, your heart sinking a little when you realised your only support was no longer within arm’s reach, “Do you think you can skate over on you own?”
“No, but you’re gonna make me, aren’t you?” you sighed.
“Yep,” he nodded, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
Letting out a scoff, you started moving towards him, surprised at how easy you found it. Sure, it wasn’t much, but the fact that you were doing something you were certain you wouldn’t be able to was exhilirating. You manage to make it over to him in once piece before your face dropped.
“How do I stop?”
You found at your answer when you held out your arms for support, your hands landing firmly on Jeongin’s shoulders again and pushing him into the lampost. It wasn’t ideal, but you did eventually come to a stop.
Burying your face in his shoulder in embarassment, you mumbled a quiet “sorry” before looking back up at him. A small chuckle escaped his lips, his eyes creasing as a smile slowly spread across his face. You always admired how he looked when he smiled; after all these years, the fox remained your favourite animal, their faces reminding you of Jeongin when he was happy.
“See, you did it! We can work on teaching you how to stop another time,” he suggested.
“Yes, I think that’s enough for today,” you bit your cheek as you looked away, in disbelief at how you were just gushing over your best friend’s smile.
His friends were disappointed to see the two of you leave so soon, making you promise to hang out with them another time. You decided to go back to his house, remembering to send a text to your mother about how you would be staying over. Jeongin quickly led you to his room, eager to avoid the barrage of questions his own mother probably had for him.
He instantly starfished on his bed while you shut the door behind you and carefully sat down next to him, flicking his forehead. He simply turned to you with a frown, used to your antics.
Suddenly, he sat up and faced you, “What was your bad dream?”
Unsure of how to respond, you could only stutter quietly, “What?”
“You were telling me about that dream you had during your nap - what happened?”
“I don’t know,” you lied, “it was just a dream - I don’t really remember it.”
He looked at you for a moment, squinting in disbelief before shrugging, “You wanna watch a movie?”
You didn’t even respond, simply moving further up his bed and getting comfy under the covers. He took that as his answer, getting up to retrieve his laptop.
You opened your eyes, struggling to adjust to the darkness that suddenly surrounded you. The only light you had was the laptop in front of you, the screen asking if you were still watching, and the faint glow of a streetlamp outside pouring in through the window. It was still open, the curtains undrawn and gently swaying in the late summer breeze. You tried to move, but two arms firmly wrapped around your body prevented you from doing so. Even in his sleep, Jeongin was strong enough to hold on to you.
His face was hidden in your shoulder, chest rising and falling steadily against your side. He looked so peaceful, you almost felt bad for disrupting him - but you really needed the toilet. Methodically extracting his arms from you, you carefully slid out from under the covers, relieved that you hadn’t woken him up.
When you returned, he was sat up waiting for you, his hair sticking up in every direction and his eyelids droopy, threatening to close.
“I thought you had left,” he laughed through slurred speech, reaching out to you.
Despite him probably not being able to see, you rolled your eyes anyway, “Never.”
Slipping back under the covers, he pulled you close to him again. It wasn’t unusual for you two to cuddle whenever you slept over, but only today had you realised how clingy he had become. Usually, it wouldn’t matter if you had drifted apart during the night, but in the past few weeks it was more normal to find him still grasping onto you, as if he feared that you would disappear.
The comment he made when you returned only confirmed that was how he felt, and it made your heart sink. You were so worried about losing him that you didn’t realise how he so obviously felt the same.
“Jeongin,” you whispered, hoping he hadn’t already fallen asleep yet, “can I tell you something?”
He only hummed, too tired to respond, but it was enough for you to keep going, “I dreamt that you disappeared - you found new friends and never talked to me again.”
It took him a moment, but he eventually lifted his head up, supporting himself with his arm, “Why would I do that?”
“You wouldn’t - I know,” you sighed, “But I couldn’t help it.”
“Do you know why I wanted to start rollerskating?” he suddenly asked.
You rolled over to face him, your eyebrows knitted together in confusion, “Bit random, but no.”
“We’ve known each other for so long, I feel like there’s not really anything I can do these days to impress you,” he admitted.
“So you chose skating?” you pointed out.
“Well, it’s fun,” he shrugged, “but you also called that one skater hot in that movie.”
You couldn’t help but laugh before the realisation hit you, “You wanted me to call you hot?” you sat up fully.
He winced at the sudden movement, “Maybe.”
“Okay, my turn,” you inhaled deeply, preparing yourself for what you were about to say next, “Do you think it would be weird if we dated?”
There was a pause, the curtains rustling being the only sound in the room. He pulled himself up and faced you, the faint light from outside softly lighting up his features. He was now wide awake, chewing at his lip in anticipation as he contemplated how to respond.
No words were said - they weren’t needed. Jeongin slowly reached out to tuck some of your hair behind your ear, smoothing it out after your sleep, before he rested his hand on the back of your neck. It was strangely intimate for the two of you. You knew what he was about to do, but you welcomed it. He leaned forward a bit but stopped, unsure if he should continue, so you helped him by closing the gap.
Your lips finally touched. Only now did you realise you weren’t sure what to do, with this being the first kiss for the both of you, but you soon found yourself melting into his touch. In that moment, your lack of experience, your bad dream, nothing mattered. The only thing you could think about was how his lips moved against yours, his tongue meekly begging to feel more of you. With his hand at the back of your neck, he desperately pulled you in closer as if it was possible for the two of you to become one.
Reluctantly, you pulled away for air. He rested his forehead against yours, panting slightly as he tried to catch his breath, “Was that weird?”
You shook your head, a smile forcing its way onto your face. He smiled back, a sigh of relief escaping his lips - the same lips you were kissing just a moment ago. You wanted to feel him again. He slid his arm around your waist once more, pulling you back down onto the bed with him.
Your first day back at school wasn't the worst after all.
“Will you go on a date with me, then?”
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