#streaming cdc

[catboybiologist]

cdc datasets available on archive.org!!!!

[mariacallous]

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. sent a flood of texts to Bill Nye trying to convince the beloved “Science Guy” of his anti-vax claims.

The old text chain, sent before Kennedy became Donald Trump’s health secretary, was revealed by Nye during a Men’s Health profile of the children’s television presenter.

The barrage of messages from the prominent vaccine skeptic, which the magazine described as “miles and miles of texts,” contained numerous links to articles and websites peddling vaccine-autism conspiracies that Nye said he paid no real attention to.

“Just no self-awareness,” Nye said. “And if you read these articles he sent, they’re all this speculation about autism and just cause-and-effect, and mercury in vaccines, that maybe there’s a connection. I wrote him back and said, ‘Okay, I’ll read your book. I think you’ve confused causation with correlation. Your friend, Bill.’”

The stream of messages did not end there, Nye said, even after he told Kennedy, “Okay, no more texts.”

“He started again! So I cut him off,” Nye said. “He does not have good judgment. He is not suited for this job.”

A Department of Health and Human Services spokesperson disagreed, telling the Daily Beast that Kennedy is “leading one of the most ambitious public health reform efforts in modern history, grounded in evidence, radical transparency, and a true commitment to the American people.”

Kennedy has led a full-blown assault on vaccines as part of the Trump administration’s campaign to restore public “trust” in the lifesaving shots.

That includes the shock move to fire all 17 members of the CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), an expert panel that evaluates vaccine safety and efficacy. All had been appointed under the Biden administration.

In a Wall Street Journal op-ed, Kennedy said vaccines had become a “divisive issue in American politics” and that public confidence in the health agencies that provide them is ”waning.”

Nye said the increase in vaccine skepticism, which soared amid the COVID-19 pandemic, is having real life negative consequences on people’s lives.

That includes the reaction to a measles outbreak in Texas that primarily hit unvaccinated individuals in the Mennonite community.

“It was a religious sect with historically low vaccination rates. And the argument from the other side is: They have rights not to get vaccinated. No, you don’t,” a frustrated Nye said. “Unvaccinated people can, and usually do, spread a disease. And that’s why we have these rules, for public health! It’s not arbitrary. It’s not about your rights. It’s about my rights, people.”

Nye didn’t hold back on Kennedy’s bizarre public stunts either—like chugging raw milk with health influencer Dr. Paul Saladino to promote the Trump administration’s initially error-riddledMake America Healthy Again report on childhood illness.

“And then this thing where people want to drink raw milk. No, you don’t,” Nye said. “This is very well understood! Louis Pasteur! You guyyys! What is happening?”

[disarm-you]

Confessions

Hi Everyone! I haven’t watched The Walking Dead in years. So I was incredibly surprised when Shane decided to join me recently on a hot girl walk.

I didn’t have the time to rewatch the first season but I did use TWD Wiki to fill in some of my blank spots. I took a couple of small liberties in Shane’s past but it shouldn’t be distracting to any diehard fans.

Tuna-Tober Prompt: “You can sleep here tonight.” Pairing: Shane Walsh x F!Reader

Summary: You’re part of the group that ends up at the CDC during season 1 of TWD. You and Shane hook up after a few confessions. Some plot, lots of porn with feelings.

Content Warning: Unprotected PIV sex (don’t actually do that), hair pulling, no use of y/n, tenderness

Trigger Warning: Reader does get slightly overwhelmed at one point. But Shane notices something is off with her and checks in. Just an extra warning for more sensitive readers but everything here is consensual!

Word Count: 3,492

18+ below the cut. Thank you so much for reading! Gentle reminder that reblogs are the best way to support writers on here. XOXO

“I almost can’t believe this is real.” You say as you sit down on the bed next to Shane. Your group had arrived at the CDC earlier today. After introductions and discussions with Dr. Jenner, everyone had the best meal they had ever eaten, succeeded by hot showers and fresh clothes. 

“This feels surreal.” You say as you sit on the bed, eyeing the room around you. “It’s been months since the outbreak. All I’ve seen is loss. My sisters, my parents, my boyfriend, every single one of my friends. Hell, I’ve even lost my cat. All gone. In almost the blink of an eye the entire world changed.” You said with a large sigh. 

“We used to think we were struggling working eight hours a day and trying to pay our bills. We didn’t know what struggle was. And now to sit here on a soft bed after taking a hot shower with plumbing in an air conditioned room is a shock. I never realized precisely how much I took for granted. Not only is this room safe but this building is safe, except I don’t think my body knows how to feel safe anymore.” You tell Shane as tears begin to well in your eyes. 

“I also don’t think I ever took time to grieve. The hits kept on coming and if you didn’t keep moving you were next. Now I’m here sitting in what I used to take completely for granted: food, shelter and safety. But how long will this last?” You shrug your shoulders, head hanging in despair. The hot stream of tears in your eyes starts pouring faster and Shane tugs you in, holding you closely. 

“I know darling, I know.” He cradles you as he kisses the side of your head and you begin to sob. 

“Just get it all out.” He says as he rubs calming circles on your back. 

Shane sat patiently with you on the bed. He whispered calming words and just held you as you let the emotions cascade out of you. Your chest heaving with the pain, low back starting to ache from the position you were sitting in.  When you felt like there was nothing left, you remained in his lap not wanting to ruin the intimate moment between the two of you. Not that your bodies weren’t familiar with each other. You two had been hooking up since you joined the crew but emotions were never involved. There wasn’t time for that in this world. 

Shane waited a few minutes once you had started settling down.“You can sleep here tonight.” He murmured, his voice landing gruffly as he whispered in your ear. 

”Yeah, I do. But Shane, I’m not up for sex tonight.” You say quickly, averting your eyes from his. Your body tenses as you wait for his response. Normally, you wouldn’t think twice about fooling around with Shane but crying had left you with a throbbing headache. You were also feeling tired and emotionally vulnerable. What you needed most was a good night’s sleep. 

“Don’t you ever be ashamed to turn me down. You don’t owe me nothing.” He says while grabbing your chin to move your face towards his. Then he gives you the softest kiss on the forehead before laying you both down. 

“Can you hold me?” You sniffled as you got comfortable on the plush bedding. 

“What do you miss from before the walkers?” You ask as Shane obliges your request. 

“Cold beer.” Shane quickly retorts. “And hot wings.” He chortles, lightening the mood.  

“I don’t blame you.” You giggle. “I miss getting my nails done. And going shopping. Especially at Target.”

”Hmm, you women did love your Target! I miss going to the bar after work with my buddies. I miss eating cheeseburgers. And the internet. Shit, why did you have to go and start reminiscing like this!?” He said teasingly. 

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry! It feels like I haven’t had a minute to just think lately, you know?” You sigh as you bite down on your lip. You hesitate but before you could stop yourself it slips out: But seriously. Is there anything else? Were you married? Did you have a family?” You roll over to face him, worrying that you were pushing the envelope with him. Shane was known to be a little hot around the collar, so you wanted to be able to see his reactions. You didn’t want to push any buttons and shut him down. 

His body tenses and he takes a large breath before speaking. 

“I was raised by my grandma Jean and she passed well before the world went to Hell and truthfully, I’m glad she wasn’t here to experience this. I don’t have any siblings but I consider Rick to be my brother. He and I grew up together. Graduated high school, went off to college and then ended up joining the force together.”

”Wait, I knew you and Rick were deputies together. I didn’t know you’ve known each other your entire lives.” Your mouth dropping at his admission. 

“Yeah. We did. I have some of my best memories with Rick. In fact, I think football is what I miss most. Football, cold beer and hot wings. That’s my final answer. You know after all this.” He nods, gesturing to the room. 

“Playing or watching?”

”Both.” He replies quickly. 

“Your number didn’t happen to be ‘22’ did it?” You ask as you finger his necklace.  

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “That was my number.” 

“So…” You pause, wondering again if you were wandering into dangerous territory. Your heart started picking up and your mouth felt dry but you knew if you didn’t ask now the timing may never be right again.“You must have known Lori and Carl before all of this?” You cautiously ask. 

Shane stiffens slightly once more before responding. “Yeah, we all met in college.”

”Listen, I know we’ve never had any discussions about whatever this is.” You say, motioning between the two of you. “ And you don’t owe me any explanations but is there something going on between you and Lori?” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even think to stop them. You cringe as you held your breath waiting for his response, tension growing in the air. You had always felt something between him and Lori, despite her being married to Rick but now you had been slowly catching feelings with Shane you just had to know the truth. 

”Look” Shane sharply interrupts you and the tone of his voice sends a cold shiver down your spine. “I’m only going to tell you this once. Before the outbreak, Rick and I were on a call. He got shot and ended up in a coma. He was still in that coma when we had to evacuate the city. I took Lori and Carl to safety. They are just as much my family as they are Rick’s. I’m always going to feel responsible for them.” He barked, passion radiated from his body even after he was done speaking. 

You relaxed into him, appreciating the honesty. Your reaction shocked Shane. He was bracing himself for a fight, instead he found you slotting your legs between his and resting your forehead against his chest. 

“I completely understand that Shane. If I had anyone left from before I would cherish them as well.” You appreciated his honesty and besides, the world that we once knew was gone. That’s going to have an impact on relationship dynamics. Regardless, you felt safe with him and that was worth sticking around for, so long as everyone remained truthful. It did, however, bring up one more question for you. 

Swallowing hard before asking, “Do you think you have room for one more person?” 

“Yeah I think I can manage that sweetheart.” He rolls on to his back and pulls you along with him so that you end up positioned on his chest. A fresh pool of tears formed in your eyes again. You are overwhelmed by his softness with you as you cuddle into him closer. He held you tightly as you cried yourself to sleep. 

__________________________

You woke up first the next day. The emotional hangover clung to you like a cold, wet blanket. Until you realized where you were and recalled last night’s admissions. You rolled over to see Shane sleeping on his back. He looked so peaceful. You couldn’t help but to admire his features in the low light. 

“Good morning, love.” 

You jumped. Not only were you unaware that he was awake but the new pet name was surprising. It awakened a yearning in your low belly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. But good morning.” You meekly reply as you roll over on your side, facing away from him. Your embarrassment got the best of you. You were afraid last night was going to be too much for him.

“C’mon girl, where are you going?” He asked as he followed you, one of his arms snaked under your pillow and the other wrapped itself around you, pulling you closer into him. 

“I just didn’t want to bother you.” You replied, relishing in the warmth and security his body provided. 

“How are you feeling today?” He whispered in your ear, lips gently trailing down the side of your neck as you melted into him. 

“I’m feeling better. But did you mean what you said last night? Are we a thing?” You ask, hoping that a good night of rest didn’t change his mind. 

“I meant every word.” His reply was peppered with kisses on the back of your shoulder, igniting the embers that glowed in your low belly.  

“I did too.” You whispered as you started to lightly grind yourself against his bulge. 

“You better be careful about starting something you don’t intend to finish.” He growled as you continued your movements against him, desire growing with each provocation. 

“Who said I didn’t want to finish?” You murmured. 

Your words made Shane groan as he ran his free hand across your abdomen, resting it on your hip. 

“Shit sweetheart, what am I going to do with you?” His voice was dangerous as he caressed the side of your body. His breath hitches as he realizes you weren’t wearing any panties. 

You could feel him getting harder and the reaction your body gave him made you tremble as you rolled on your back to kiss him. 

Shane grunted as you spread your legs to accommodate him. You deepened the kiss and he brought your hands up to rest near the top of your head, interlacing your fingers with his. You relaxed into the bed, enjoying as Shane took the lead. 

He slowly but firmly thrust his hips against yours. The thin pair of pajama pants he was wearing left nothing to the imagination against your bare skin. 

You open your mouth to let out a soft moan and Shane takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into yours. The sensation left you light headed and wanting more. 

His kisses were hungry and frenzied, as if he wanted to devour you. Soon your blood was buzzing in your ears. Shane’s breathing was picking up and you couldn’t stop yourself anymore from grinding back into him. Shane groaned as he broke a kiss. Stilling his hips against yours he silently skimmed his hands down your forearms, lifting his palms so that only his fingertips danced down your biceps. In any other circumstance the sensation may have tickled you but right now the pathway tracked heat down your body causing your nipples to harden and your center to dampen. 

The hazy look in your eyes made Shane chuckle before he swiftly tore your night shirt right down the middle. 

“Shane!” You gasp before bringing your hands down and snatching his shirt over his head. You shamelessly took in the view before you. Shane was in glorious shape and you weren’t sure which of the Gods should be thanked for the opportunity to see this man. 

“Wait.” The last bit of reason that wasn’t tainted by Shane in your mind wandered to the front. 

Shane stops his hands, resting them on your hips as he sat back on his knees, eyes reading your body language.

”Please tell me you have a condom?” 

“Hang on, I think I do.” You adjusted yourself so that he could grab his bag. Reaching in he grabs the small box of condoms that were found hidden between the racks of the last pharmacy the group managed to search. 

“Shit.” He replies, turning the box upside down. “We’re out.” 

“Of course we are.” You whined, laying back on the bed, throwing your forearm over your face. “I want you so fucking bad.” You lie there pouting, trying to ignore the feeling of emptiness that was growing between your legs. 

“Listen.” Shane tosses the empty box onto the floor before laying down beside you. “We don’t have to have sex. Can I touch you?” He pauses his hand on your pubic bone waiting for an answer. 

Against better judgment, you nod your head and your body sings as Shane’s hand touches you where you so desperately needed him. 

“You’re already so fucking wet for me.” Shane admires you as he teases his fingers along your slit. 

“You feel so good.” You gasp as he slowly slips two fingers inside of you. Exhaling, you bring your hand to rest on his forearm, fearing he would stop his ministrations with your center. 

The sight of you beneath him, moaning in pleasure was stunning to Shane. He leaned down and gently scatters kisses around your chest until he popped a nipple into his mouth. 

You arched your hips at the pleasure from both his hands and his mouth. He immediately curled his fingers into your g spot. You deeply moaned at the sensation. Your noises caused him to release his assault on your nipple and he met you with a sinful stare. 

“Shane, fuck me.” Your emboldened request shocked even yourself. ”Just don’t cum in me. Please.” You whined as your hands tangled into his hair, pulling him up to you for a filthy kiss. 

“You sure that’s a good idea princess?”

”No. But I don’t want to stop. And we can’t make a habit out of this.” You cautioned as you quickly untied the string to his pajama pants, greedily pulling them down his hips as soon as you could. 

“As you wish, my love.” He sharply exhaled as you held his cock firmly in your hand. The use of his pet name caused your eyes to close. 

There it was again -love. The four letter word you hadn’t realized you had been secretly yearning to hear but struck nerves at the possibility. Your brain wanted to ask the hard questions but the ease at which the phrase rolled off his tongue pleased you. His deft hands were already making your loosely formed questions disappear. 

You open your eyes and remember the task at hand. The sight of his cock was mouth watering and you firmly grasp him and jerk him off. 

You watch as Shane’s eyes close and you thumb at the bead of precum that was forming at its head. His brows furrowed and you notice how tense the muscles in his abdomen are. His breath started to pant which encouraged you to work him harder. 

“You feel amazing love but can I please fuck you now?” Shane whines as he withdraws his fingers from you. 

Nodding you move to spread your legs for him.

”No, pretty girl. Not today. Roll over.” 

A wave of shock and excitement rolled through you as you turned over. In your previous hookups, you were usually on top and you had to be incredibly discreet. This change of pace was exciting. 

Shane roughly grabbed you by the hips, pulling you up and back so that you were doggystyle on your knees in the middle of the bed. 

Anticipation washed over you and before you could figure out what he was going to do next, Shane laid a hard smack on your ass. With an open palm, he ran his hand up your backside, electricity following in his wake. He stopped at the base of your neck, giving you a gentle squeeze before he entangled his fingers in your hair. Keeping his hand close to your scalp, he grabbed a handful and pulled. 

You cried out in pleasure as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Is this ok?” 

You felt the weight of him pressed against your cunt and it made it hard for you to answer him. You meekly nodded and he laughed against your ear. 

“Yeah, I thought you might like this.” His tone was almost sinister as he tapped your arm, unconsciously asking you for it. 

You shifted your body, moving your head to the side, so you could kneel with your chest on the bed. 

Shane grabs your wrists together in one hand while he teases your entrance with his cock. 

The anticipation of finally feeling his bare skin on yours is overwhelming and your breath is coming out in hitches. But he continues to tease you. Pressing himself slowly against your hole, tip just barely entering you before slowly pulling back. 

“What are you waiting for?” You cry out and Shane just chuckles. 

“You know, I really like to take my time but since you're impatient, I guess this is it.” He said before he filled you up. 

You cry out at the mind numbing pleasure he gives you. 

Shane didn’t waste time and started to harshly fuck you. The pleasure was intense but soon, so was the position. The bliss was starting to mingle with the discomfort in your shoulders. You started to feel crushing weight in your chest and your arms felt uncomfortable. 

Shane took notice of your changing breath and at how stiff your body had become. “Hey, hey, hey, hey what’s going on?” He said in a soothing tone as he let go of your arms and stopped his movements. “Are you ok? Do you need me to stop?” He asked as he helped brush strands of hair out of your face. 

“No, we don’t have to stop but I don’t want you to hold my arms back.” 

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s ok hun. It just started to feel too intense” The pet name effortlessly rolled off your tongue. He didn’t seem to object to it and the unquestioning acceptance lit the fire in your body back up. 

“Can we keep going?” You ask as you prop yourself up on your elbows. 

“Absolutely.” Shane growls as he slaps you on the ass again, making you moan. He resumes his thrusting and you reach down to rub your clit. 

“Can you pull my hair again?” 

“I fucking love a woman who asks for what she wants.” He groans before he places one hand around your hip for support while the other pulls a handful of hair. 

“Omg, fuck that feels amazing.”

Shane keeps his pace as you feel yourself nearing the finish line. He pulls on your hair, making your back arch as you come up on your palms to conform to his request. 

“You’re doing so well for me.” 

All you can do is moan in response. 

Shane moved his free hand up your side body, over your shoulder trailing until his hand was loosely under your jaw, cradling your neck. 

He rubbed his thumb along your bottom lip and you popped it into your mouth, sucking on it like it was giving you life force. 

The heat at your coil was ready to boil over at any minute. Shane could feel you pulsing around him. 

“Sweetheart, you’re going to make me fucking cum.” 

His admission pushed you over the edge. Shockwaves rippled through you, causing reality to splinter and before you could realize what was happening you felt Shane pull out of you. You can hear him grunting as you are riding out the final waves of your organs. Moments later, his hot cum lay across your ass and you both lower down into comfortable positions. 

You lie there in post coital bliss for several minutes. And then reality crashed down. 

“How loud were we? Do you think people heard us?” Mortification echoed through you at the thought. 

“Uh, well, I guess that would depend on how far away they were from us.” He teased as he rubbed your back. 

“Listen, we’re all adults here and it’s the end of the world. If anything, they were probably jealous. Hang on a minute, I’ll get you cleaned up.” 

Shane looked around, deciding to use the shirt he ripped off you earlier to wipe up his spend. 

“C’mon, let’s take another shower and go get something to eat.” 

[hidtired]

Unfortunate Timing [Part 3]

(Daryl Dixon x Reader) Masterlist

Description: You found out your pregnant early into your relationship with Daryl Dixon. To make matters worse? The apocalypse happens a few days later! (not fully canon)

5.4k words

Warnings (Pregnancy, gore, sexually themes, violence, fluff, walking dead stuff, ect.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 etc.

It was clear Daryl was near a breaking point. With the unsafe camp and your near death experience mixed with his missing brother you couldn't blame him. You knew he didn't have a healthy way of processing emotions. So he was on a war path this morning. You knew the only way he dealt with big emotions was through angry. He of course never directed it at you. In fact while you had laid next to him in the morning he was proud that you handled yourself. He was contemplating most of the time staring off to the top of the tent. You thought he was still stressing himself in that already anxious head of his. But after he told you he was proud you saw that maybe he was just enjoying the fact you were in his arms and not dead.

It was when you all decided to go to the CDC and you were sitting in Daryl's truck that you said something that made him feel the true weight of his responsibility. "I'll follow you." He looked over to you before turning his attention to the caravan in front of him. He was confused but you went on, "Any choice and decision. I'll stand with you unquestioned, my life and are child's is under your protection." His heart slowly dropped into the pit of his stomach.

Worry and a sense of responsibility he's never had before felt crushing. But another feeling he didn't expect sat within him. To be wanted and trusted in such a way burned his heart into a fire. He was determined. He was already willing to give his life for you and his... his kid. It was something he didn't question. You inhaled deeply before speaking again,

"Don't you dare think that gives you permission to go and die on me... I can't do this without you."

He slowly slid one of his hands off the wheel and into your own. He brushed his thumb back and forth, "As long as m' still breathin' so will you." You smiled at the implication, moving your other hand to rest on the hand he had on you. He wants to stay alive to make sure you'll both be ok. You nodded in thought, "Then you agree that your life also rests under my protection?" He turned to you with a lifted brow, his face giving a 'really' expression. He didn't like the thought of you risking your life for him but, he guess he understands you don't like the fact he would do the same. Being cared for was something he never got, until you. He watched as your hand move to rest on your stomach. Now that is something both of you would protect together. He bites his lip knowing you started this conversation to make him realize this wasn’t all on him. His eyes move to the road watching the RV roll to a stop.

The honking sound telling them the RV must have died just like Dale said it would. It had but also Jim just couldn’t take it anymore. You’ve never been around someone who’s been bitten before. So to see how it was killing him was gut wrenching. He seemed at peace with it. Sitting in the wind under a tree. You and quickly stated a ‘rest as well’ before excusing your way back to Daryl’s truck. You were bound to get emotional over it and didn’t want to be a wreck in front of everyone. You had reached the door of the truck, tears streaming down your face. Something felt like this would be something that often happened… losing people.

You manage to pull yourself together before Daryl got back to the truck. The ride on the road made you drift asleep. You were in a weird position crumpled into the door with an arm thrown over your head. Daryl found it funny but not before questioning how you could possibly find it comfortable. He knows you are always tired nowadays and he worry's its due to a lack of nutrition. But he lets you sleep only waking you a few miles away from the CDC. You stretch from your odd position. A crack releasing from your neck with a sigh of relief. You rub your eyes looking around. Daryl almost spoke quietly close to a whisper, “We are close, wanted ta’ make sure you were fully awake in case we have to run.”

You hum still stretching a hand moving to your breast. They have been irritating you recently. One of the many wonders of pregnancy. Daryl had caught you with a displeased look on your face. He gave you a questioning look with a smirk, “They look bigger…” You look to him with shock and then back down. He childishly snickered as you swatted at him. You tilt your head while still looking down, “Are they really?” He gave a mischievous smirk causing you to roll your eyes. You had not thought that maybe you would have to get a bigger bra. Not that you could just go buy one anymore. The playful mood in the car would soon turn sour at the arrival of the CDC. Empty, bodys lay scattered and not a soul to be seen.

Standing at the closed doors hoping for the safety it once thought it provided. It almost seemed fleeting until Rick noticed a camera move. Daryl was hearing none of it. He was mad at the decision made and him going alone with it. Your safety now compromised because he didn’t make the right call. Even just after your admission to trusting him he felt like a dumbass. He pulled you to him and felt one of your arms pull around him. The grip you held onto him telling him of your fear. Just before he could try and pull you away to safety, back to the truck, a bright light came pouring out of the newly open door.

One lone man sat in the whole building. You thought it was strange and somewhat eerie. But he did offer assistance so he couldn’t be that bad. A few of the group ran back to collect some things. Daryl gave you that look of, ‘please don’t’ so you understood he would get your things. The price of entry was a blood test. This doctor wanting to make sure none were infected. Which was fair but god did you not like getting blood drawn. Shots you are fine with but having your blood taking from your body disgusted you for some odd reason. Blood itself was not the issue. The thought of having your blood taken still rolled into your mind, a thing that made your heart race. You went after Daryl but he stood next to you waiting for you to finish. The man you now know as Dr Jenner started the process. You caught his eyes flick to your stomach.

He seemed to maybe suspect something but you were at that stage in pregnancy where someone might not speak on it, just in case you weren’t pregnant they didn’t want to call you fat. When he placed the needle in your arm you quickly moved your eyes anywhere else. Heart racing with discomfort. Your eyes focusing on Daryl which he didn’t like the plain fear he could see on your face. You seemed to ease out after it was over, but trying to stand your vision spin. Daryl managed to keep your balance for you. It wasn’t until Jacqui almost collapsed that the doctor learned that you all were a little undernourished. So now here you all are going down an elevator at the promise of food.

It was cramped going down farther than you thought. Daryl getting you out of your thoughts by pressing you back into him. I’m sure he saw your body rigid. But he didn’t really, he moved you into him subconsciously. Eyein the new person trying to determine whether he was a threat or not. The gun slung around him not really helping in his case, “Doctors always packing heat like that?” His awkward response eased him no less. You however at the mention of spaghetti threw caution to the wind. Following the group in a small hallway Daryl right behind you. He saw your happy bouncing at the promise of a carb filled meal. Most of your complaints to him in your pregnancy was the cravings driving you mad. Saying something along the lines of ‘when undead situation is handled your getting me any food I ask for no matter the time!’ Another thing to get you excited was the doctor mention a hot shower.

You smiled at him giddily practically dragging him off to a room. He dropped both of there bags by the door and just watched you be happy. You popped in the bathroom while struggling to kick off your pants in a hurry. Daryl chuckled, ‘Slow down would ya, thought you wanted to eat.’ He could hear you ruffle with your clothes still. Your voice echoed in the bathroom out to where he sat himself down, “There still time while their making it!” He leaned back smiling to himself at your antics. The light through the door got dimmer causing him to look up. You stood in your underwear and bra, hands behind your back trying to unclip it. You gave him a look he hasn’t seen for a while, “Well you just going to sit there or join me?”

He was stunned for a second. He leaned forward looking dumbfounded for some reason. You tilted your head to the side slowly turning back to start the shower. He was stood now hesitating for a second before slowly approaching, maybe it was the fact you both haven’t done anything for a while, mostly due to lack of privacy and him always off around the camp. Perhaps the stress still swarming around him from this place. Despite that he wasn't going to give up this opportunity so he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself. He saw you finally manage to get free of all your clothes. He started to unbutton his shirt when he saw you looking in the mirror at your belly. The first you are probably seeing it in a reflection. Your eyes swirling with thought but soon landed on him with a smile.

You then elected yourself to help him with getting his closes off because he was to slow. You replaced his hands with yours and started undoing the remaining buttons. He smiled down at you, "I don't know, last time we showered together we broke your curtain." He got you to laugh at the memory and you gave your own snarky remark, "Well, if you slip this time try not to take me down with you again." He cringed remembering how he landed with you on top of him. Merle had made a comment about the huge bruise he had on is back, how 'you must have gotten your ass kicked!’ He just ignored him not wanting to say he fell while having shower sex. Releasing the thought he then realized you said 'again'. As be pushed his shirt off while you started on his jeans he gave you a smirk you yourself hadn't seen in a while, "Again huh?"

You smile bashfully back to him, "I'm a hormonal mess, and I can't say that you having been looking extra hot as of late." He scoffed thinking you were kidding. But then you looked up at him seriously causing him to mumble and small... "oh." He smiled raising his hand to move your hair off your shoulder. He pushed it away from your face while you undid the clasp to his jeans. Your hair was noticeably longer since the beginning of this shit show. Finally freeing him of his clothes you bounced back over to the shower. He rolls his eyes and follows you knowing you ran to be under the water before him.

He watched as water ran down you and it sparked a sudden calm from him. To see you doing something that used to be so normal felt crushing. He walks up behind you wrapping his arm around your waist. He knows he hasn’t been exactly himself lately but here he is holding the soon to be mother of his child. He just hopes that you know that even if he has never said it out loud, he loves you. You knew it perfectly well while enjoying the warm water of the shower and him leaning into you. You had thought maybe you both would take this chance to clean yourselves in a shower for the first time in months but his hands were telling you something else.

He was leant forward kissing you down your neck. Causing you to sigh and lean back tilting your head to the side. His hands moving across your body causing you to giggle. You turned around looping your arms around his neck and seeing him smirking down at you. Months of not having a proper shower only to not use the time for one to actually clean yourself. Instead it was spent with a man seemingly remembering how much he wanted to touch you. Back at the camp he was unwilling to throw you around to teach you self defense. It wasn’t until you were pushed back to the wall of the shower in a flurry of harsh kisses did he seem to freeze. He was a gentle lover but could have times where he got excited and went a little rougher then normal. Which you never had any complaints with but in this moment of pause he was a little unwilling to do what he would have. For example again, your shower curtain. Ya not really a great thing for when your prego.

He was pleased with himself by the end of there shower. Like all the bruting was because he was sexually frustrated. Maybe you should have made an effort sooner if you knew he would be walking away with such a pep in his step. Granted you remember why you haven’t done much because if you thought you were tired before, then you were sure to look like you were in a daze. Maybe that look another factor to Daryl walking around so prideful. You would be lying if you haven’t been wanting to jump him for the last month. So maybe you were a little sedated. You wrap your hair up into a towel after getting everything but pants on. You sat there thinking while just holding them about to go on. Lost in space at something Daryl grunted into your ear a few moments ago. The thought sparking a nice warm fuzzy feeling.

‘M’ baby is the one you got in yeah. M’ girl with my baby~’

Daryl watched you sit there with one pant leg in while you stared at a spot in the carpet with your mouth slightly open. Thoughts clear as day, “You done drooling over there? Or you want’n to see if foods done?” Your mouth snapped closed as you took a moment to process what he had just said. Then you proceeded to jump into your pants while jumping to the door. To think he had made you forget about the food inflated his ego he got going. He followed you taking the towel out of your hair and opening the door while you shuffled forward looking down to clasp your pant button.

This was not only a big meal but big morale boost. Stepping into the kitchen to take a seat at the table you waste no time digging into the spaghetti before you. A blessing for a craving you’ve had. One point alcohol was being passed around the doctor took clear notice of you not drinking any or being offered any. You were too busy trying to convince Daryl to just drink already. All those times at the bar he always used the excuse of having to drive home. So you’ve never seen him drunk because and I quote, “I’m a mean drunk… don’t wanna do that to ya.” But you incurred him to let loose because this was probably the only time he would be able to for a long time,

“Come on hun! Drink because I can’t!”

He had definitely eased since the shower so he finally caved and excepted this opportunity. He still didn’t want to get to drunk but he wouldn’t mind being a little tipsy. The fun antics going on in the room was swiftly crushed by Shane. You sat uncomfortably as Shane pushed Dr. Jenner for answers, “So when are you gonna tell us what the Hell happened here, Doc?” His random aggressive outburst caused the room to fill with awkward silence. Rick cutting in saying what everyone else thought, “Come on man, not now.” Shane snapped to Rick, “It’s why we’re here right! This was your call. I want to know why we came here to just one man, why?” Shane’s words to Rick sending red flags in your mind. Then the depressing story of what happened at the CDC dragged the once happy mood back to reality. Felt by all if Glenn stating, “Your such a mood killer dude.’ to Shane didn’t say it all.

It was eased back into a happier state with a pouting Shane in his corner of shame. You payed no mind to it anymore. Daryl was acting more like himself while getting himself and Glenn drunk. Daryl was having to much fun getting Glenn to drink that he himself had way more then he was wanting. It was fun to watch him stumble while he tried to stand. Your laughing getting his attention causing him to point a finger at you, “I don’t wanna hear it from you “miss tipsy”.” The nickname making you giggle. After a while he leaned over the back of your chair as you talked to Dale. He didn’t even put his arms around you just laid them out over your shoulders. He wanted to go, a nonverbal action you have learned he did. So you excused yourself wishing everyone a goodnight. Daryl had an arm over your shoulder while you walked down the hall. “You drunk off your ass?” He sighed leaning into you more, “More than I would have liked to be.” He sure walked like he was.

“Let’s get ready for bed then.”

The room you had claimed had a small couch and cot. Daryl had already started to wrestle with his shirt before you had the door open. Now shirtless he sat down and leaned back slumped. You snicker to yourself while going to take your damp hair up out of your face. He sat there watching you before saying, “Your so pretty.” He was still slumped with his head tilted to the side looking at you. You walked over to him and he held is hands out for you to come sit on his lap. But you grabbed his hands and looked down at him, “Come lay down with me.” You pulled at his arms before he got up and trapped you against him. He shuffled back until flopping on the bed with you. You were lying on your side with him behind you. His hands moving under your shirt onto your baby belly. He curled into you from behind tucking his head down into your neck. You heard him mumbling but couldn’t understand him. But you caught a bit of it to put in context.

“-lucky. I made my pretty girl a mama.”

You smile at his drunk rambling. Reaching to his hands to your stomach and lightly drifting your nails up and down his arms. So much for being a ‘mean drunk’. Then he started on another tangent but this time lifting his face for you to hear him “An I only thought love was something that you would either kill for or die for. But for you? I’d live for. You’re something to live for.” His hands move across your stomach and he whispered, “You both.” Your heart raced at this, you would classify that as a confession. He has never said verbally ‘I love you’ but this in so many words was just that. He damn near was about to make you cry. But instead you shuffled back into him feeling that he was so relaxed he might have fallen asleep already in your silence. That didn’t stop you from whispering back to him.

“I’ll live for you too.”

That morning started with a hungover and grumpy Daryl. You were also grumpy. Daryl had thrown up earlier that morning and that got you to throw up. Now your stomach felt like a loop of acid reflux. You elected to stay in bed because you also were experiencing vertigo, so maybe Daryl wasn’t the only reason you threw up. You may have gone to make sure he was ok but the spinning feeling and noises he was making set you off. Daryl was off to the kitchen to get you a plate of breakfast. When he came back to the room he laughed telling you how fucked up Glenn looked, “He is swearing off alcohol, so may have over did it with him.” You smile at him while you sit in bed eating the food he brought back.

He then paused before he started biting his nails, “Hope I didn’t cause you trouble while drunk…” You chuckle shaking your head still chewing. Swallowing you looked up to where he now leaned on the wall, “Oh please, ‘mean drunk’ my ass! You were just being a sweetie!” Now you were teasing him about it, “After all I’m so pretty remember?” He looked relieved but also grunted before move for the door, “Doc gonna show us something. I’ll tell you about it when I get back.” You hummed in agreement going back to eating. Sitting up you felt like you were on a boat, so dealing with whatever Jenner was going to nerd out about wasn’t worth getting up for. Before Daryl went out the door he called out from behind him, “Be right back, ‘pretty girl’.”

Now even 20 minutes later did Daryl walk back in with a broken look. He sat down on the bed near you and stared at the wall. You would wait for him to gather his thoughts. Something bad happened, or he learned something he didn’t want to either way it didn’t look good. He moved to sit with you on the bed against the wall. He slowly put a hand on your stomach, “Everything’s gone.” You link your fingers with his and lean onto his shoulder. He went on, “It’s lookin like these dead assholes aren’t going anywhere.” You clench your teeth at the thought. You understood what he was saying. If the world was to ever be fixed, it wouldn’t happen in a long time. So your fantasy of a hospital could be kissed goodbye. You had a foolish hope that eased the fear for your child… and yourself. Childbirth before technology had a high fatality rate, for mom and baby.

So your brain was on overdrive after the rug was pulled out from you. Daryl had leant his head on top of yours which got a small sniff out of you. His arm now going to pull you into his side. You struggled with not bursting into tears while asking him something, “We’ll be ok, right?” He turned to you wiping away a tear that slipped out, “We got this.” He explained to you more what he found out. Like the scan of how the infection killed the host then took over the body. Relieving a fear that these people were conscious while doing this. They weren’t people so that made it easier to justify killing them. You both sat there talking until the air flow seemed to still. Daryl perked up feeling uneasy. Then people started to gather into the halls also noticing the lack of air flow.

Daryl had stood behind you in the door way but when Dr. Jenner walked by ignoring peoples questions, Daryl pushed past you slinging words his way in worry now. You followed behind the growing group of worried people. Stepping into a very open panel room with a red clock on the wall. The group stood in the middle when Jenner finally started to explain, “The system is dropping all the nonessential uses of power. It’s designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule.” You look over to the clock that was counting down.

A wave of uneasiness fell over you. You move closer to Daryl while he started yelling to the Doctor, “Air seems pretty ‘essential’ to me!” He took notice of your closer proximity and how you looked around cautiously. Jenner pauses at the steps that lead up to the work stations in the big room. Everyone has followed and is grouped around. Everyone turned to Jenner for answers. "It was the French." Andrea clicked her tounge at him, "What?" Jenner sighed sitting down in a chair at a computer, "They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution." Jacqui now voicing her confusion, "What happened?" Jenner turned to her, "The same thing that’s happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel.  I mean, how stupid is that?" Shane was about to start but was cut off by Rick, "To Hell with it, Shane. I don’t even care. Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We’re getting out of here now!" But before anyone could move a alarm started. Carl said with a nervous tone, "What is that?" A voice spoke through the speakers,

‘30 minutes to decontamination.’

You were now grabbing Daryl's arm in fear causing Daryl to speak up, "Doc what's going on here!" Jenner scans his badge and enters code into a security pad. Rick yelled turning to everyone, "Get your stuff and lets go! Go!" Then the doors all started to closed. Glenn yelled in anger, "No. Did he just lock us in!? He locked us in!" The kids started to cry in panic to there moms. Daryl makes a run at Jenner, "You son of a bitch!" Rick grab Daryl while yelling for Shane to help him. You sat there in shock with a hand over your mouth. Daryl continued to yell while being restrained, "You locked us in here!" T-Dog now joining in to stop Daryl, "No, stop! Don’t!" When Daryl was pushed back he made his was back to you and pulled you into him at the sight of your eyes becoming glassy. Rick now spoke to Jenner, "Open the doors." Jenner sat there calm, "There’s no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed." Dale now taking the chance to speak, "Then just open the damn things." Jenner just shook his head.

You saw Rick stare at the clock that was now 28 minutes. You watched as he slowly turned to Jenner, "What happens after 28 minutes...?" Jenner sat up straighter, “In the event of a catastrophic power failure... in a terrorist attack, for example... H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.” Rick shuffled from foot to foot in concern, “H.I.T.s?” Jenner sighed putting his hands on his hips, “Vi define.” A robotic voice of a women filled the room through speakers, “H.I.T.s - high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consists of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000 and 6,000 degrees and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.”

Everyone was stunned. Jenner speaking immediately after Vi, “It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief... Regret. Everything.” He said it like this somehow made everything better?! You felt Daryl squeeze you and you held him back. This crazy prick was going to kill you all! You felt the deep vibration in Daryl's chest as he roughly spoke, "Open the door." T-dog used the axe he had to start hitting the door, Daryl went to try and open the door to. Jenner just look defeated, "You should’ve left well enough alone it would have been so much easier." Lori now spoke up while holding her panicked son, "Easier for who." You felt that sinking feeling again. Jenner's voice fading out in the back at you felt blood rush your ears. 'All of you. You know what’s out there. A short brutal life and an agonizing death.' Memories of your aunt killed, being near the edge of the water and almost getting killed by two walkers. You moved your hand to your stomach. You had just talked to Daryl about the future. Asking if now in the changed world could you be enough for this child. Sound of Daryl's voice bring you back from thought, "BUT YOUR HEAD ANI'T!"

He was pulled back before being able to hit Dr. Jenner with the axe in his hand. Jenner once again not fazed and he turned to you, "What do you not get by everything is GONE! There is no world for that baby of yours." Daryl again tried to get to him but was held back by four people. You looked down with tears in your eyes, but also anger burned in you. Taking two steps closer to him you quickly punched him in the face. Everyone gasped in surprise but you continued by grabbing him by his lab coat collar. "That is not your choice to make for me!" Rick had gently grabbed you by the shoulder pushing you back. Rick now with hands on his hips spoke calmly to Jenner, "She's right. You’re lying about no hope. If that were true, you’d have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn’t. You chose the hard path. Why?" He huffed, "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?"

Jenner looked down in thought, "Not because I wanted to. I made a promise." He looks back up and points to the screen, "To her. My wife." Lori glanced to the screen, "Test subject 19 was your wife?" Jenner slowly nods, "She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?" Something felt like it was shifting. The clock was now ticking closer to its end. You had pushed everyone off Daryl while Rick spoke. You replaced everyone's hands on him by wrapping your arms around his middle, leaning into his chest. "I told you topside’s locked down. I can’t open those." Jenner walks back to the security pad and unlocks the door. Daryl went straight to action grabbing your hand and pushing you to the exit, "Move it! Move it!" You heard others feet behind you. Making your way down the hall you swiftly grabbed all your bags. In the lobby there was another problem of getting out again. T-dog and Daryl tried breaking the window with axes but it was bullet proof. Some how Carol had a grenade she found off Rick. Taking cover the window exploded, finally freeing you of this ticking time bomb.

Everyone rushed out killing the walkers who took interest in the noise. You made it to Daryl's truck with Daryl opening the door for you while jumping in himself. He leaned over you seconds later a wave of heat rushed over you. The explosion was loud and shook the truck. Once Daryl rose off you, you looked up to the now demolished building. You and Daryl then looking back to each other, tears filled your eyes while staring into his. You sobbed in relief, adrenalin slowly leaving your body causing you to shake. Daryl moved to hold you while breathing a sigh of relief himself, "See? We're ok." You sniffle while Daryl start moving to drive away from this walker magnet of a building.

This was now officially the end of the world.

Part 4

Feedback welcome and requests open! (Next chapter is so much angst mahaha)

Do you want to be on the taglist? Then leave a comment saying so! Taglist

@daryldixmedown @aureolinb @the1eyedmonster16 @lettersfromyourlove @felicisimor

@daryl-dixons-left-hand @sokkasimp101 @darylssextoy69 @ddixon99 @itwasntaphasema

@snailss @iluvme9 @lunajay33 @twisteduniverse5 @thestonedwriter

@ghostboneswrites2 @avabh12 @marcysbear @twistedprincess-92 @felicity1994

@holb32 @let-love-bleeds-red @tiny-mari @tally335 @xxmileyrosexx

@boywivlove @thatswitchy @sydrogerspotter @thisisntmytardis @evanpetersmood

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ distant love pt: 2 ୨୧

pairing: Rick Grimes ♡︎ fem!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ canon typical violence, Rick is low-key a cheater (not on reader tho), not beta read we die like Carl

summary: ʚ basically a filler chapter from the CDC to the prison post-Woodburyɞ

Words: 2002

An: hey babies I wrote this on my phone again 😔 also i haven’t seen the earlier seasons in a very long time so mb if it’s not exactly accurate 😔😔

Part 1 Part 3

SUPPORT ME

You and Rick had kept your distance most of the morning. Looking at Shane’s black eye. “Dad, are you hungover? Mom said you would be.” Carl asks as Rick sits down at the table. You let yourself stifle a giggle at the kids' antics. Rick being drunk last night would explain his forward-ness.

You followed the group after breakfast as Jenner explained what exactly was happening to everyone. Why would the dead rise?

You watched as the x-ray video’s corpse re-animated. God that was scary. What was scarier was Jenner locking the doors. You covered your mouth as tears streamed down your face. “Oh my god.” you whimpered out.

You were going to die. You of course found yourself turning to Rick. Who was holding his wife and child? Your heart sinks.

Of course, he would be with them. You were a sidepiece. Why would he protect you? Care for you? He made his choice. It was one that you're going to have to be ok with. Even if you weren't going to live very long.

That's when the doors opened and Rick screamed for everyone else to get their stuff. You ran as fast as you could to escape. Avoiding the shards of glass that spilled everywhere Rick threw the explosive at the glass.

Your eyes rest on Lori and Rick as they sit in the front of the camper. You weren't sure how you could have ever found a real relationship with him. You think back to Lori’s words. Trying to push the two of you together. Your heart burned for her.

How low was she that she wanted her husband to sleep with another woman? You suppose she felt guilty for her and Shane being together. This was a different thought, wasn't it? Rick said he loved you. You weren't sure how much of that you believed.

It was you who saw the way Rick was after Otis accidentally shot Carl. It was you who hugged him, feeling his arms search for a sign that his boy was still alive. It was Rick who begged you to stay with him.

You wanted to, you really did. But that would have been inappropriate and unfair to Carl. This could very well be his last night alive. He shouldn't be confused about why you were there.

You see the color leave his face as he donates more and more blood to his son. Trying to comfort his wife but his eyes linger on your figure unfaithfully. Your curves would comfort him. Your soft skin and happy smiles. That's what he fell for.

He wished this wasn't the way it was. He wished he had met you instead of Lori. Marrying the first girl he could. I mean he did love Lori. As the mother of his children, he would always hold a place for her. She just wasn't you, was she?

You on the other hand shoved your feelings down, deeper than the Mariana trench. Trying to help keep the camp outside on Hershel's Farm going. Doing menial tasks like laundry or cooking. Offering to clean any weapons the group needed youto.

Trying to comfort Lori at every turn, silently becoming almost like a best friend to her. Holding her shoulders as if to say you're sorry for screwing her husband.

You used to help go on runs with Glenn and Maggie until you found them shaking up in the convenience store. It was cute to see young love budding, but seeing them naked was not something you were down to see again.

It made you jealous to see them so in love. You wished you and Rick could be that way. But alas, that's not what life has in store for you. Love. What a joke. A nimbly fickle thing.

You kept a good amount of distance between you and Shane. Not daring to go near him. One night you sat around the campfire with lori and carol. It had been a long day of playing catch-up with chores since Lori had been helping Carl rehabilitate.

“Alright girls, I'm off to bed,” Carol says with a tight-lipped smile. You and Lori talked a little bit about Glenn and Maggie.

“Y/n?” she asks looking up at you. Her gaunt and skinny face looks more and more malnourished these days. “Mm?” you ask, looking at her. “I-I know how he looks at you.” her voice barely above a whisper. You lick your lips, shaking your head.

“Lori, stop,” you ask her. Pleading almost. “You can't keep doing this to yourself, he loves you-” You try to keep your voice down but your heart breaks. “Y/n I'm pregnant,” she says.

For a second your world stops. The fires crackles keeping you grounded. You opened your mouth, unable to say anything. The amount of possible words dying in your throat. “I want it to be Rick’s. I need it to be Rick's,” she says, tears spilling down her face.

Your hands slip up to your face covering it. You let out a low breath. This wasn't about you. This was about her. You think over and over again trying to calm down all the raging emotions going through you.

“Does anyone else know?” you ask slowly, she must be feeling a whirlwind of things none of which you were entitled to have an opinion on. “Glenn does, I needed him to go out n get the tests,” she whispers straightening out her shirt, raising her hand up to her mouth and biting her nails.

Lori is absolutely exhausted, and you know more than ever she should be resting. You stay silent noting that neither potential fathers know she is pregnant. “I don't know what I'm going to do, Glenn has been trying to take care of me.” She gives a pitiful smile.

Her face was tear-stained, the streaks illuminated by the fire. “Well you need prenatal care no doubt.” you said scooting closer to her, grabbing her hands. “I think telling everyone will be the best course of action, when…” you said, pulling her into a hug.

“When you're ready,” you mumble against her shoulder. She thanked you with a sad smile standing up. You didn't sleep well that night. Not that you ever did now. You thought about the women in the next tent over probably also not sleeping.

You thought about the baby that was currently draining her of her energy. You thought of Carl. Recovering from a gunshot wound at such a young age, probably confused and scared most of the time.

And of course you thought of the man also sleeping in that tent. The one that seemed to consume your every thought. You thought of him always. It was a shame. You wished you were Lori sometimes. Sleeping in his arms pregnant with a baby.

You physically shake your head to rid yourself of your selfish thoughts. You were scared of Shane, scared of your feelings for Rick, and scared for Lori.

You were scared of the way your heart wanted to leap out of your chest every time Rick tried to talk to you. The way his rough hands would touch the soft skin of your arms. “Rick…” you breathe out trying to shy away from the older man.

The way he would beg you to stay close to him, his hot breath tickling your neck at his closeness. “This isn't the right time Rick.” you would whisper, eyes flicking up to see his teary ones.

Dark almost permanent circles surrounded his eyes. You pull away from his grasp and run out of the Greene’s house. You stood by Daryl's side as you read him shitty books you found on runs trying to provide him an ounce of comfort as he recovers from the bullet wound that Andrea gave him.

And be would try and provide an ounce of that comfort to you as the barn full of walkers is discovered. Taking all of your willpower not to vomit at the smell. Turning away from the group. Allowing yourself a moment, just a moment of selfish comfort.

As Rick’s arms wrap around you. Breathing in his musky scent. The sounds of the guns firing off still ring in your head. “It's ok, you're going to be ok,” Rick mumbles in your ear. His hand clasped gently in the back of your neck.

As soon as the moment is here it's gone as you see Shane’s angry face peering at the both of you from a few feet away. Your face fills with embarrassment, you rip away from his embrace instead choosing to hug Carol who was sobbing over the loss of her daughter.

You spent the next few days in a constant state of dissasostivate numbness. Unable to feel anything other than fear. Seeing Rick and Shane keep a man locked up in the barn for fear of what he could do.

Even though your group was the one keeping him held, handcuffed, and bound. As soon as he goes missing it seems to bring you out of your state as Shane comes running with a broken nose claiming that the prisoner ran away.

You ran into the house with all the women. Fearing for what was next. Trying to hide in case he came back with his group. Seeing all the panic spread through the group as the barn is set on fire. The horde of walkers attacking your slice of peace.

You barely make it out with your lives. Reconnecting with your group on the highway with everyone. Once again seeing Rick’s eyes falling on you as he hugs you with his family. You turn away from him, finding comfort in Daryl's embrace.

You watched as Rick distended into madness and anger after killing Shane. Demanding that whatever he said went. This was not the man you fell in love with. This was not the human your body craved comfort from.

Revealing how his son had to be the one to put his best friend down after he turned into a walker. Which was bizzare you never took him for type to get bit or even scratched.

That's when Rick reveals the delicate information that you all carry the virus. A crucial piece of information that sends the group into a frenzy of anger. You felt very sick. How could he keep that from you? From the group?

It only went downhill from there. Rick and Lori are always fighting as she grows more and more pregnant. The sheriff was unable to hide his anger towards her. Constantly on the run, even once you find and fortify the prison, the Governor and all of his bullshit wreaks havoc on the group.

It's been 6 months since Woodbury fell, you had a big group. Full of amazing people. A decent farm and garden. Life was decent. Judith was a beautiful baby girl.

You sighed setting your pencil down in the crease of your sketchbook. You had picked it up on a run not too long ago, at first mostly making a few sketches and doodles to entertain Carl.

Although lately, you have been trying to work through your feelings through the pages of the book. Unfortunately, most of them were about Rick. You always observed him when he was working in the fields.

You could almost see the heat radiating off of him. His t-shirt is clinging to his sweaty body. To his strong sculpted muscles. Fuck. He was so hot.

It brought you back to those nights in the quarry. His rough hands gripped your soft flesh. Back arching as you slammed into him. Tongues slipping into each other's throats.

You lick your lips slightly admiring your drawing. It was of a man who looked suspiciously like Rick. His tired haunted face and sculpted body were barely covered. “Hey.” a southern voice took you away from your explicit drawing.

You look up to see the man in your drawing staring right back at you.

[anachrosims]

Alright--with the impending Snowmageddon in the southeast US, I just had to deal with an office full of girlies in the northern US who JUST CAN'T BELIEEEEVE how big a deal the weather is for us in the south.

I don't want to hear a PEEP from y'all about WOW THIS IS A NORMAL DAY IN WINTER FOR MEEEE! Sister, we don't have the infrastructure to deal with this kind of cold and snow. When pipes, electricity, and roadways get fucked up, people can and will DIE. Check your attitude and instead, offer helpful tips, or keep your pikachuface-based snark outta your mouth until we're through to spring.

The jet stream doing weird bullshit like this is the new normal with climate change being what it is. Put up and help out, or kindly, shut up, and keep your thoughts to yourself.

EDIT: And to my southern fellows affected by the cold and/or the snow: Please be safe. PLEASE be safe. Here's some links that might help y'all:

What to Do Before it Gets Ridiculously Cold | Weather.com

11 Severe Cold Weather Safety Tips You Need Right Now | Farmers' Almanac

(PDF) Cold Weather Safety Tips | National Weather Service

Safety Guidelines: During & After a Winter Storm | CDC

[desiderio-dixon]

Darkest Before the Dawn

Chapter 6 : But I'm Dreaming of You

Pairing : Daryl Dixon x f!reader (endgame), (unrequited) Glenn Rhee x f!reader

Series summary : When Glenn Rhee comes into your life, you become convinced he's a guardian angel sent by your late best friend. You think he's your soulmate. But then he falls for the farmer's daughter, and you find that your own angel may be a little more blatant than expected; wings and all.

Chapter summary : The CDC proves to be a place of refuge...and wine. You get drunk, talk to Daryl, and have a dream that will linger in your mind for a long while.

Chapter warnings : OKAY!!! LET'S HOPE I GET EVERYTHING HAHA!!! Smut!!!! Reader has a sex dream that includes piv, male masturbation, fantasies including oral (f receiving), daryl is thirsting, language, drinking, pleaseeee let me know if I missed anything!!

Word count : 2k

A/N : so things are heating up now

❀~~__~~❀~~__~~❀

The CDC had proven to be some form of miracle. After being on the road, tired and hungry and hopeless, sitting at a large table filled with food and wine was a dream. You sat next to Glenn, head airy and light as you entwined your arms and sipped your wine glasses. After all the loss, this felt like a win.

Your friends gathered around, joking and laughing, sharing stories, it gave your mind and body a peace you hadn't had in months. Even Daryl, who you'd thus far known to be cold and guarded, is nursing his own glass and tossing jokes. "Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get!" He says to Glenn, who giggles over his glass. You laugh, giving Glenn a gentle shove. Daryl points to you next. "You too, girl." You salute with your glass, tipping it back. Daryl refills it. It's fun and lighthearted and hell, it's exactly what you need.

And then Shane ruins it. While Shane goes through his interrogation, you do your best to block out the sad tale he forces out of Jenner. Instead, you stay silent, tossing back refill after refill of your wine and spoonful after spoonful of pasta.

By the end of the dinner, you're nothing short of wasted. Prior to the apocalypse, you hadn't much experience with alcohol. That, in combination with the lack of drinking for months, had thoroughly set you on the path to slurred words and stumbled steps.

You shamble through Jenner's tour, tripping over your own two feet. He finally says something your drunken mind deems important: hot water. There are limited showers, so everyone argues over who goes first. You're too out of it to argue, but someone must state your case, because you're being ushered off in the first group. "Because you'll pass out if you don't go first." Someone says. You take their word for it. Maybe it'll sober you up some.

When the hot water cascades over your back, it feels like it takes the weight of the world away with it as it flows into the drain. You smile into the open air, careless and drunk and happy for the first time in weeks. Getting to wash the grease out of your hair with running water is a privilege you'd thought long gone. The shower is even stocked with razors, but in your drunken state you know that's not a good idea. Instead, you lather in the scented bodywash laid out, scrubbing your skin with a heavy hand. The steam surrounding you begins to smell like roses and lavender. You breathe it in greedily. There are few good smells these days. This place, the CDC, it feels like life before all the death. When you slip, landing thankfully uninjured on your backside, you acknowledge it to be time to pry yourself out from under the stream.

Leaving the bathroom, you stumble through the halls. You can't remember what room was designated to you, and your eyes grow heavier each second. You decide to peek inside one of them, finding the vast space seemingly empty.

You make your way sloppily into the room, flopping face first onto the bed, wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. "Tha' hell?" Typically, the sudden voice would scare you, but you simply can't be bothered.

Instead, you don't even lift your head, mumbling out a muffled, "What?" Into the sheets.

Daryl stares at the back of your head dumbfoundedly. He sits on the couch at the opposite end of the room, nursing a bottle of liquor. He was enjoying his peace and quiet, but of course, you of all people can't allow that. Still, seeing a woman naked and sprawled out on the bed he claimed as his own was certainly an unexpected end to his night.

He thinks you must've fallen asleep in his lack of response, so he stands, approaching the bed quietly. He reaches his arm out to your shoulder, intending to shake you awake to get the hell off his bed, but before he can make contact, you turn and grab his wrist. "What are you doing?" You slur, eyeing him suspiciously. He scoffs, wrestling his arm out of your weak grip and shuffling back a few steps. Your eyes follow him intensely.

"Tryin' to get you out. Ain't in the mood to babysit!" He defends, wiping his arm of where you'd touched him. Your hand was warm, and wet with lingering moisture from the shower. Droplets still glide across your shoulders over your arms. All of your skin radiates with a dewy, clean glow. He feels a familiar burn in his ears, averting his eyes. He pretends the painting hanging on the wall to his left is beyond interesting--but he honestly couldn't give a damn about it. Despite not looking at you, he can still smell you. In fact, he's sure you've infected the whole room with your post-shower scent. It's floral and sweet and very you. He hates that he feels that way.

"...Well! Sorry, Mr. Dickhead! Couldn't find mine and you're a stupid hunter so I didn't even know you were there!" You dramatically flail, tired and drunk.

Daryl huffs, narrowing his eyes at you. "Why don't ya' go find yer damn boyfriend!" He yells. You flinch at his volume, tucking your arms around yourself. He feels a twinge of guilt in his belly.

"He's not my boyfriend." You mumble, turning to lie on your side in a tucked ball. "Prolly won't ever will be." You draw out sadly. Daryl doesn't feel bad for you. You don't need someone like Glenn. Between the two of you, the world would eat you both alive.

But he knows he shouldn't say that. You're sad, drunk, and probably seeking comfort. He's not sure how to give that, so he sighs, sitting on the very edge of the bed, far away from your body. "Why not?" He asks, glancing at you and then back to the floor, lifting a thumb to his mouth to chew.

"I like him, I think. But I don't think he likes me." Your voice trembles, small and quaint like a child. "He's all I have now." That breaks you, tears now fully streaming.

"Nah." Daryl says simply, letting the word hang in the air for a moment. "All our people-- they love ya." He looks at you when he says it, and the blue of his eyes almost shocks you. You can't remember a time he's made such intense eye contact with you, so you allow your teary eyes to roam freely over his own. Getting lost in the different shades and the flow of them into one another. You almost forget why you're crying.

You break out into a drunken, sappy smile. You lift your upper body off the bed, towel slipping down further. Daryl tries not to look. "Thank you, Daryl." You say through a smile that makes your eyes disappear, so wide that it coats your entire face. He flushes. He can't say that a woman, or a man for that matter, has ever looked at him like this. So happy because of something he said. "Will you help me find my room?" He hates the disappointment that flushes over him, but he nods anyway.

He helps you up, and practically carries you through the halls until you come across an open door with your bag on the bed. You hold your towel up as you stumble into the room, holding the door frame with the other hand. You stop before closing the door, giving Daryl a coy smile. "Goodnight, Daryl." You tell him before shutting the door. For a reason he can't identify, those words ring through his mind all night.

Hearing the click of the door shutting, you shrug off your towel. You throw yourself down onto the bed in all your naked glory, wrapping yourself in the pillowy soft comforter and drifting off almost instantaneously.

In the hazy warmth of your dream, you lay among a bed of pillows on your side. You're naked, bare skin brushing against the sheets lazily. Behind you, you feel the warmth of a lover's presence. When you crane your neck, it's Glenn. He smiles at you in that gentle way, running the back of his hand over your cheek. It's gentle, wholesome. You lean in for a kiss, closing your eyes. He meets you halfway, gripping your cheekbone softly.

But, as the kiss grows longer, his lips get rougher, his hand runs lower to caress your neck with a calloused hand. When you open your eyes, it's no longer Glenn. Instead, it's Daryl, eyes blown with lust. He pulls you back in, and you make no move to resist. He bites your lip and presses his front into your back. Bare skin on skin, you feel everything. You feel him, in all his glory. He's trailing one hand down your stomach, applying pressure to push you into him. He starts a slow grind against your backside. "Daryl," You moan out breathlessly when his hand slips between your legs. Your own hand grabs his bicep, hips starting to move against his fingers and his own hips behind you. Then, his hand moves away from you. You whine, but his hand grips your inner thigh hard. And then he's lifting your leg, placing it over his hip and notching himself on your entrance. You gasp, turning to make eye contact and nod feverishly. Just as he starts to push in--

Your eyes snap open, lungs grasping desperately for the breath you'd been holding. It's still dark, likely only an hour since you'd fallen asleep. You've slightly sobered up, but now your skin is clammy and your heart is racing. You wish you could deny enjoying the dream, but the slick you feel between your legs betrays you. Still, you feel a weight of guilt. And so, you decide to just enter back into a frustrating, restless sleep.

❀~~__~~❀~~__~~❀

When Daryl enters the bathroom, finally ready to take a shower, he's almost angry at the smell that greets him. That same smell you'd infested his room with. He undresses quickly and haphazardly, tossing his clothes throughout the room. Ever since his earlier encounter with you, he's felt strange.

Hot, clammy. With a ball almost akin to anticipation sinking in his gut. He knows what this is. Knows it when his head starts to swim in the steamy room. He hasn't felt this way in so long. The feeling in his stomach grows and tingles into his toes under the stream of water, he's getting hard. He tries to convince himself he's only feeling this way because of the sudden sense of security, and maybe the alcohol. But as he grips himself, taking a shuddering breath, all he can think of is you.

It's wrong. God, it's so wrong. But no matter how much he tries to push the thoughts away, they always come back to you. You, wet and naked sprawled over his bed. In his thoughts, he tugs the towel off your skin, revealing everything. He'd treat you right, he thinks, panting. He'd kiss your skin and taste the fresh shower water lingering, he'd quench his thirst on your skin. He'd breathe you in before kissing you senseless. Though, he doesn't have much experience kissing. Still, what he lacks in experience he'd make up for in enthusiasm with you. For you. He'd kiss up and down your legs, from your ankles to the insides of your thighs, to where he really wants to kiss. You'd be tangy on his tongue, and maybe you'd whimper out his name. Daryl's gut grows tight, so tight that his toes curl against the slippery shower floor. Maybe your eyebrows would furrow, maybe your hands would tangle in his hair, gripping and pulling. He can almost feel it.

Suddenly, he's grunting, hips shooting forward as warmth washes over him. The shower water cascades over his form, washing his acts down the drain. There's a lingering guilt, but the relief he feels from head to toe overpowers everything. He feels more relaxed than he has in weeks.

You just never have to know that he'd ever jacked off to you, and he never has to know that you dreamt of him taking you apart. Simple enough.

❀~~__~~❀~~__~~❀

⤿Taglist (Open)

@celtic-crossbow @scudslut @itwasntaphasema @ryoujoking @i-wear-wet-socks313

[thecapricunt1616]

Sunflower 🌻

Syd x Carmy one-shot

♡ Summary: A/U where after graduating from the CIA at the top of her class, Syd goes on a food tour in NYC & ends up hooking up with the most talented CDC, at the best restaurant in the world.

♡ W/C: 3,434

♡ Posted Date: 04/12/2024

♡ A/N: This is pure filth I tried adding some plot- I hope it turned out the way I saw it in my head. As always requests are open - for SydCarmy, CarmyxReader as usual! I hope you enjoy :)

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smutsmutsmut nsfw 18+ - Oral (m receiving) , Barely edited bc we die like men.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

Sydney Adamu had just graduated top of her class at the Culinary Institute of America. She’d been hunkering down with her dad, for a long four years, she was desperate to get out of there. She already had a plan all set up. 

She’d take the last bit of money her grandfather had given her for college, and make a catering business of her very own. It would be dedicated to her parents, (of course) Syd’s hopeless romanticism was thanks to their perfect, beautiful love story of course. She’d known since sophomore year of culinary school - Sheridan Road would be her baby. 

She’d settled on this idea - with any possible odd’s and ends money she’d made during her CIA training - she’d go out for as long as it would last her. She’d learn, study, and observe, then- create her catering business, with the confidence she’d gotten a taste of the very goal she had, a star. Well - three would be absolutely fucking insanity to her- but one? One she felt like if she had it? Her father would believe she was in a real line of work, instead of just happy she was perusing her own happiness. 

It was the perfect plan in her mind. She’d already set aside the amount of money, with extra safety net, for all of the licensures, and documentation she’d need- as well as her commercial kitchen rental she’d make the food out of. Then - with the extra 5k she had left over, she booked a full food tour of the most prestigious, luxurious restaurants in NYC. 

She’d planned the tour 6 months before she graduated, since the 3 restaurants wouldn’t even accept a reservation if it wasn’t made out any later then that, and when she walked the stage, 3 days later she was on the train into the city. 

She’d be staying at a decent hotel for 12 days. Each day, she’d be having one large meal including an app, two main courses, 2 cocktails, and 1 dessert from a Michelin starred restaurant. She would be staying 4 days for 1 star, 4 for 2 stars, and 4 for 3 stars. 

The schedule was as followed; 

Monday - Hirohisa *

Tuesday - Dirt Candy *

Wednesday - The Musket Room *

Thursday - The Red Paper Clip *

Friday - Atera **

Saturday - Jungsik **

Monday - Saga **

Tuesday - Daniel **

Wednesday - Per Se ***

Thursday - Le Bernadin ***

Friday - Masa ***

Saturday - 11 Madison Park ***

When she’d got off at Penn station- she was nearly vibrating with excitement - she quickly brushed passed people grabbing their obnoxious suitcases in the overhead compartments. 

“Sorry! ‘Scuse me! Fuck- shit sorry- exscuse me!!!- whoops! Sorry- scuse me- aah! Ugh- I Didn’t mean to- oop- oh- Jesus!! Excuse me!!” She rambled, frustration building in her chest. Getting off The L wasn’t this hard- why did Amtrak feel worse?!

She took a deep breath, her nose scrunching. 

Mm. So instead of cow shit - smog, I feel at home already. 

She’d thought to herself as she briskly walks with the crowd towards the exit she meant to take onto fifth. 

She slipped her wired headphones into her ears, texting her father 

‘made it!! Love you daddy!!’

Before opening her Spotify, hitting one of her comfort albums, Broken Clocks, as she walked briskly outside - the crisp city air hitting her like a ton of bricks. 

She leaned against the brick of the McDonald’s next door, avoiding the streams of people going down and up the sidewalk, taking a deep breath. She’d not been to New York before, she’d grown up in Chicago- been to the city more times then she can count, but the suburbs were her home. Being in the city- and let alone- a city like Manhattan versus Chicago- she was looking around, trying to gather her wits - and quickly.  She clicked the maps application on her iPhone 7, tugging her umbrella out of the water bottle pocket of her backpack and tucking it under her arm as she typed the address to her hotel and clicking for the walking directions.

It honestly kind of pissed her off that each day’s food was better than the last. She’d wanted to not give a shit about stars and just focus on giving people an experience to remember - but it was cut & dry that now that she’d tasted this kind of food - she was going to do whatever she could to become as talented as the chefs that made it. 

But - she hadn’t even tried the best yet. 

The best, the best, THE best. 

She honestly couldn’t believe she was going to be trying the food from Eleven Madison Park - but she couldn’t help but be so nervous. Every other Michelin starred restaurant she’d been to - the dress code was Formal attire. But this one? THE best restaurant in the fucking world? Oh- they just say on their website ‘many of our guests dress up for the occasion, but we do not have a dress code’  

Her entire trip, She’d been cycling through 2 very different floor length gowns. One of which she wore to her graduation, and the other she’d found at Windsor on sale but it did the job. She didn’t wear luxury attire often, okay? She was too busy being Culinary school for Christ sakes! And tonight she couldn’t for the life of her choose which one she’d wear. 

This being because she was attending a main dining room tasting, which was ten courses. Easy, luxury dining courses were stupidly small. But- she was also trying their bar tasting menu which was an extra four courses. Sitting at a bar in that stupid fluffy dress for two hours would not be comfortable. But- again- best. restaurant. in. the. WORLD!!! 

She knew for a fact that she would be mad at herself if she got there and everyone around was dressed to the nines, but - for comfortability sake she went with the simple silken red gown. 

The front of house service was literally perfect. She was glad she’d brought a new notebook, because she’d never have had enough space to take all the notes she was taking tonight in the one she’d been using the majority of the trip. Their staff was very casually mannered, and they made it very easy to order. Everything was very calm and comfortable, the furniture felt very luxurious in the sense of comfortability. 

After she just had the best meal of her entire life, she knew she had to speak with the person who made it. Her mind was blown for lack of a better word. The food was fucking incredible. She had a rule to keep herself able to taste as much as possible: she was only allowed one bite of each dish, but here- she couldn’t just limit herself to one. Each dish she was taking 2 even 3 bites- but when she got to the sunflower dish? It was brilliant. She finished every bite, she couldn’t not. It would be sinful to waste it. And the only thing on her mind was that she had to talk to the chef who’d made it.

Her waiter comes back to her table, giving her back her card and receipt. 

“Thank you for dining with us this evening, have a wonderful night” he told her 

“Thank you- Um- may I speak with the chef who made the sunflower plate please? I’d like to pay my compliments in person if possible.” She asked hopefully. 

“Of course, that would be Chef Carmen- give me just a moment I’ll go get him for you” he nodded and headed back to the kitchen. She looked over her notes, remembering the questions she’d wanted to ask about the dish. 

Carmen, she wondered if he’d been named after the saint. His talent was surely straight from the hands of the Mother of Christ. 

Shes interrupted from writing in her notebook by a husky, silvery voice 

“Excuse me- I was told you’d like to speak to me, I’m Chef Carmen, I made your sunflower dish this evening.” 

“Hey- I’m Sydney - that dish was- ” she stood up to face him- and when she realized who was in front of her, her heart began to race. Of course, she’d thought, of course - only a JBA contestant could come up with a dish so ingenious.

 “Oh- um…Hi.. Hello- you’re like -” she blinked a few times, in utter shock. “You’re Carmen Berzatto“ She swallowed thickly. 

Sydney was obsessed with this industry- she stalked the JBA website every year to see who would be nominated, dreaming that some day she’d be on that list. Being even nominated would allow her to die happily feeling as if she’d won a fucking Nobel Prize. That was how much she respected those damn awards. 

“I am” he said and cleared his throat nervously. 

“Well- firstly congratulations on your nomination- you like- if it was up to me you’d win because that sunflower dish was-” they’re interrupted by one of the food runners coming over 

“Chef Carmen- Chef Daemon requests you in back of house now.” she said urgently, the girl looked like she was on the brink of tears as she continued taking the tray of food over to the table it was meant for. 

“So sorry, i’d love to hear what you have to say but uh…” he trailed off. 

“Yeah- yeah- sorry, sorry I wont keep you-” she said and he shook his head a bit 

“No- no- um… I mean -” he wouldnt usually be so bold, but his ass was going to literally be kicked if he didnt get back there in the next 5 seconds. “I’m gonna go out for a smoke at 11:15. If you wanted to keep talkin’ ill be there” he said before heading back to the kitchen.

Sydney was nearly shaking - there were so so many things she wanted to ask him. She also realized he was much - infinitely hotter in person - how that was even possible? She remained unsure. She had reapplied her lipgloss and her perfume, nervously pacing back and forth along the sidewalk. 

She hears the back door open and she looked over, out emerging the greek god incarnate she somehow got so lucky as to run in to tonight. “Hey!” she said with her famous warm smile. 

He didnt return it, actually- he looked pissed. She swallowed thickly, rubbing her lips together nervously “Hey - sorry again I uh- fuckin’ boss” he muttered, fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket. 

“No- don’t apologize please, I totally get it. I mean, you're the CDC at literally the best restaurant in the world. I wouldn’t have bugged you if I knew, I mean- my table, like- I’m not a critic..I guess I should have clarified cause of the notebook thing but they usually are more…low key? I thought? Do they usually just come and whip out a notebook? That would make it easier I think… But nonetheless I’m so so grateful to have been able to eat a meal that-“ she rambled on anxiously but he stops her.

“You talk when y’nervous” he said with a small smirk, lighting the cigarette between his lips and inhaling, leaning against the brick.

“Uh-” she stuttered, her face feeling hot suddenly. “Sorry- I’ve uh… i’ve been told” she chuckled a bit, taking a few steps towards him and leaning on the brick only 2 feet or so between them.

“It’s charming, y’smoke?” he offered her the pack with a red top, she looked down at it.

“I don’t- not- not yet anyways” she joked, crossing a slim arm over her waist. He couldn't help but realize how the action made her breasts more prominent. 

“You’re a chef?” he asked, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Yes! Yes- well.. Just graduated, not working anywhere yet- I’m going home soon to try and start my own catering thing…” she explained and he nodded.

“Where’d y’graduate from?” he asked, exhaling the smoke away from her direction.

“CIA - 2 weeks ago, Valedictorian actually, y’not the only chef around here with street cred” she joked and he chuckled.

“Really? Word. Thats sick, good job. Y’said y’re headed home? Where’s that?” he asked, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Chicago! Can’t wait to get back, Hudson life is… not for me- I forgot how convenient public transportation was” she said. 

He raised his brows in surprise, “Chicago huh? Thats my old home base.” he said 

“I know! You’re actually… really famous did you know that? Like- they talk all about you during lectures, you’re the new golden child of the culinary world” she teased and he rolled his eyes playfully.

They’d been inching closer and closer without realizing throughout the whole conversation, she was now so close that she could see the barely there scar on his cheek, her focus locked on it. His gaze was locked on her plump lips and he was imagining how they’d feel around his cock.

“I do unfortunately - you’ll learn soon enough that praise means being a target in this industry.” He said 

She bit her lip, meeting his striking blue eyes once again. “I really meant to tell you earlier was that sunflower dish was the best meal i’ve ever had. And i’m not just…sucking your dick because you’re you - I knew that before I knew you made it” she laughed a bit.

He followed suit, “Well if you want to- i’m not gonna say no.” he said and her eyes widened a bit, feeling her core pooling with heat at the idea. Of course he was half joking. It was so sudden and out there he would have never expected her to indulge him. 

“I mean- here? What if your boss comes out?” she asked, a bit quieter as if she was trying to assure they’d not be caught.

He nodded towards the row of 12-wheeler trucks parked 50 or so feet away. “Haven’t moved in 6 weeks” he shrugged casually  “Lead the way Chef”  she motioned with her hand, a frisky smirk on her lips.

“Holy fuuuck” Carmy groaned, pushing his cock deeper into her tight hot mouth. “Y’like takin cock like this mmm? Y’like bein’ my little fuckin slut?” he muttered, thumbing away the warm tear that was gathering in the corner of her right eye. “So fuckin’ good f’me-” he growled, moaning at the wet gurgling noises emitting from her.

She swallowed around him, looking up at him with tear-filled dark lustful brown eyes, widening her jaw further and tonguing over the pulsing vein on the underside of his length, gently squeezing his thighs to urge him further. 

“Y’want me t’fuck y’throat? Mmm? Dirty fuckin girl” he gathered her braids into his fist, wrapping them around his palm and roughly tugging her off. 

She whined hotly, the sensation of his rough hand sending waves of pleasure through her being. “Please” she said wantingly, tonguing over his slit before wrapping her lips around the tip of his head in a sensual kiss.

He took his thumb, pulling her jaw open wide and thrusting into her mouth with a satisfied grunt. “Y’know-shhhit y’know what? I think this is the only way t’shut y’ass up? Mmm?” he inhales sharply as she pushed his foreskin back and spit on his exposed sensitive tip.

“Jesus fuckin-” he sharply inhaled through his teeth as she gently grazed her teeth over the sensitive head, his abs clenching in pleasure and hips quivering from the overstimulation “fuckin-h-aaaa-ahhh-mm-shhhhit-jesus fuckin christ” he whimpered, his head falling back against the metal with a sharp bang as she took the flesh into her mouth, flicking her tongue sharply over the weeping tip before smoothly sucking over the buzzing stimulation. He knew if she kept up the act he’d be filling her mouth with his seed within seconds.

“S-sooo fuckin filthy - y’want my cum in y’throat? Mmm? Little fuckin whore- h-holy-oh god- i-” he nearly suffocated her as he buried his cock further down her throat. He reached down, his fingers rubbing along his thick length buried in her warm tight throat. 

“F-fuuuuuck- ah- oh shhh- mmm- thats it- thaaaaaat’s it- good fuckin girl” he grumbled, roughly and sloppily guiding her head in such a way that the noises being made if it weren’t her he would think theyre overdramatic and disgusting. He also didn’t know where the hell all of this talking was coming from. 

Normally in the bedroom, he was quiet. Very quiet. The only way the women he was with knew he’d enjoyed himself was if he even came at all. Sex usually wasn’t about his own pleasure since in the presence of another he found it so hard to get off - it was more about giving him imagery that would help him later in regards to finishing. 

“You are so fuckin good at that huh? You take my cock so well such a good fuckin girl” his jaw goes slack as she put her hands on his hips to steady him and slowly sinks her mouth all the way down to the hilt, her eyes shut in focus. 

She gently rubbed her thumbs over his hips, swallowing around his length in a way that made whimpers fall past his lips he didn’t know he could make himself. “Holy shit y’fuckin- oh- ohhh fuck” he grunts as she takes one of her hands and begins massaging his balls and looking directly into his eyes, pulling off his length to breathe and gently pushing the foreskin back, kissing over the sensitive flesh with her plump lips. 

“You can fuck my face- but deepthroating after a meal like that is pretty hard, id love if I can keep it down” she said, even with spit running down her chin, teary eyes, and swollen lips - she still looked adorable to him. 

“Sorry- sorry” he muttered, loosening his grip on her hair “keep doin’ that fuck yesss” he breathed out as she swirled her tongue around his head. He thrust in and out of her mouth, gradually moving faster but being careful as to not slam into the back of her throat. 

She stroked the bottom half of his length with her other hand, eyes closing and doing her best to swallow around him all the excess saliva that was dripping down her throat. She hollowed out her cheeks, looking up at him as she slowly and carefully sunk down once again, keeping her eyes locked on his. 

“Mmm-shhhit-I’m fuckin-“ he groaned, his knees nearly going weak and head falling back with a thud. Blood roared in his ears, his hands shook slightly from the tension rolling off him in waves. 

She nearly choked at the amount rolling down her throat. She pulled off slightly, swallowing - more like gulping, assuring to hollow her cheeks and swirl her tongue as she pulled off with a pop as to not waste any of the sweet salty mess. 

“You- you- you are fuckin crazy” he breathed, looking down at her. 

She wiped off her mouth, chin, and neck with a tissue she’d kept in her purse before saying “I’d say you’re crazy, “ she got off her knees, picking up the chefs coat he had thrown down for her to kneel on, to which she insided it out before she did so it wouldn’t show any dirt. “If I had that coat? It would never touch the floor” she shook it off carefully. 

He quickly fixed his pants “he’s a friend it doesn’t matter I can always get a new one” he countered, putting the coat back on and buttoning it. 

Her eyes widened “friends?! How the hell did you run into him?!” She asked. 

“You- y’re into fashion ‘n shit?” He asked and she nodded enthusiastically 

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Thom Browne is insane all his shit Is absolute fire. I wish I could afford one of his jackets like- it’s totally a dream wishlist kinda thing” she took some gum out of her purse. 

“When do you uh…go back?” He asked. 

“Tomorrow. Headed to Chicago on Wednesday” she said and he nods. 

“Oh- yeah okay..It was uh…it was nice t’meet you” he said awkwardly “I should probably um..” he trailed off, clearing his throat nervously.

“Totally- yeah great to um…great to meet you too chef.” She nodded 

“Could I um…” he rubs the back of his neck anxiously “could I maybe get y’r…” he trails off, cheeks pink with embarrassment. 

“My number?” She asked, grabbing her phone out of her purse. 

He nodded, cheeks bright red with embarrassment “yeah sorry-“ he mumbled

“Yeah- if I can get yours” she teased, clicking open the blank contact screen

[jclovely]

📯📯📯 2025 YEAR OF DECISION 📯📯📯

MANY THINGS FORECASTED AND TOLD BUT THE CHOICE IS YOURS, BELIEVE LIES AND DECEPTIONS OR THE TRUTH OF THE GOSPEL ???

Here is a summary:

. The Rapture of the Body of Christ ie. all born again believers past and present.

. Lies and deceptions through AI, project Blue Beam, aliens in the skies, creation of Black Swan event such as the drones leaving poisonous substances in the air which many US and UK people have seen and fell sick to.

. Transgenderism and continuation of transhumanism agendas under Elon Musk, and all Luceferian global elites under WHO, UN, WEF, CDC, NHS, NIH and more creating the NWO.

. FALSE Ecumenism or Omnism bringing many faiths together creating ONE WORLD RELIGION.

https://rumble.com/v63gvok-exploring-the-abrahamic-family-house-a-temple-to-world-religion.html

. Terrorist attacks continuing domestically and internationally as we have seen lately in NYC, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Germany.

. Tower of Babel 2.0 returning trying to destroy the work of the Lord and destroy humanity.

. Hatred of Jews and Christians continuing as well as antisemitism and hypocrisy towards Israel defending itself since Oct. 7th 2023.

. CBDC and creation of digital currency.

. SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ALREADY FORECASTED IN 1997 BY DR. ANDY HINES AND JOSEPH COATES. THEY WROTE ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT WAS THERE ALREADY AND THEY IMPROVED IT.

. Markets crashes around the world.

. World War 3 starting in the Middle East.

. 7 years Tribulation coming after the Body of Christ is Raptured and the revelation on the antichrist bringing FALSE peace.

. Club of Rome division of the 10 regions, now Trudeau gone, Canada, Greenland, Panama fair game for Trump and Musk to get these countries and their rich natural resources.

. And more sinister outcomes as mentioned in the Book of Revelation by the Apostle John.

IT WILL NOT HAPPEN ALL IN 2025 BUT IT IS WHAT IS SURELY TO COME IN THE FOLLOWING YEARS.

THERE IS NO FEAR FOR THOSE THAT BELIEVE IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. HE IS OUR HOPE.

IF YOU DO NOT KNOW JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOUR, HE IS READY TO GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF SALVATION RIGHT NOW:

A - Admit you are a sinner.

B - Believe in Jesus Christ, that He died for your sins and He resurrected and returning soon.

C - Call on His Name, confess that He is your Saviour now and forever.

As you come to Him, the Holy Spirit will seal you and will direct you to His Holy Word and reveal Himself to you and to all TRUTH.

God bless you all.

RECEIVE THE FREE GIFT OF SALVATION THAT THE LORD JESUS CHRIST READY TO GIVE YOU.

BUT HERE IS THE GOOD NEWS YOU CAN BE SAVED FROM ALL THIS AND BE TAKEN AWAY WITH HIM.

ONLY ONE SOLUTION SALVATION THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST WHAT HE WARNED US 2000 YEARS AGO HAPPENING NOW. REPENT, WE ARE ALL SINNERS, ACCEPT HIS FINISHED WORK AT THE CROSS AND BE SAVED FROM THIS WORLD GOING TO DESTRUCTION.

LET HIM DIRECT YOUR PATHS AND PROTECT YOU FROM WHAT IS COMING. HE IS THE TRUTH.

Thank-you to @godslove, @hiswordsarekisses, @heartsings77, and many others for all the gifs and memes.

Amen.

📯👑📯

🇮🇱👑🙏

🙏💖🌺🦋🕎✝️👑🇮🇱🕊📯

[omgkatherine01]

Between Your Wings - Chapter 6: Plans to CDC

Series Masterlist

Chapter 5, Chapter 7

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female reader x Rick Grimes (slow burn)

Please comment, like and share

The night was long and dreadful as you didn't get any sleep, none at all. No one could.

You couldn't stop thinking about Amy and the other campers who died.

The men didn't waste time and started to clean up the walker bodies in complete silence as the sun came up into a new day, and you and Jacqui decided to help them, despite Lori had asked you to rest after checking your bruise under your eye.

Carol wanted to check on her husband, but you and Lori didn't let her leave, so you volunteered to check on him, but you found him dead in the tent, almost completely eaten. You told Daryl and he dragged the body to the side with the rest of the bodies.

And now, you were taking your knife and stabbing their heads, one after another to make sure they were all really dead before you all pushed them towards the giant pile the men had made. Not long after you started, Daryl appeared beside you and only silently followed your lead with a pickaxe held tightly in his hands, swinging it down aggressively on the skulls.

He didn't say a word to you as you both worked side by side, but nodded towards you the second he caught your eye in greeting to be polite. You heard a conversation that was happening close by to where you were working, quickly caught your attention as you looked up.

"She's just been sitting there all night," Lori said, looking towards Andrea who was still holding Amy close to her, numb to the world around her as nothing else seemed to matter.

"Did she get any sleep?" Shane asked.

"Would you?" Rick replied, his worry only increasing the longer he stared at her, "I'll go talk to her."

You followed him with your eyes as he slowly approached her with the intention to not only try and talk to her but try to break the news that you would need to move Amy soon. She still hadn't turned, but it was only a matter of time before she did, and the others were worried that she would attack Andrea the first chance she got. But your opinion was to just let her be for now, needing to mourn the death that had hit her so hard. 

It was far from anyone else's business.

But the moment she heard Rick walking closer from behind her, she didn't hesitate to pull out her gun and aim it right at his head before he could take another step. You tensed a little when you watched how escalated the interaction became, and the look in her eyes made you question if she was actually going to do it.

"I know how safety works," she said.

Rick simply raised his hands in surrender, not saying a word as he backed off slowly. She then hesitantly lowered the weapon and turned around back to her sister, instant tears streaming down her face once more. 

You just watched her, and you felt your eyes sting slightly, but you quickly pulled yourself together. "Ya alright?" a voice said from beside you.

You turned to see Daryl and nodded slightly, "Yeah." You looked back in front of you as you kneeled down to stab another body in the head.

"You can go to the RV, be with the kids," he said quietly and looked at the body next to you, "Rest for now."

You shook your head as you got up, "I want to help."

He studied you for another moment or two, nodding slightly before he turned back to the bodies. You turned to Ed's corpse and also Daryl. He was about to hit the axe into the skull, but you tapped on his arm when you saw Carol walking closer. 

"Let me do it," Carol pleaded, in a voice barely above a whisper.

Your expression soften and you opened your mouth to decline her, she didn't have to do this, she shouldn't have to do this.

She saw you were about to protest, and she shook her head, "Please, he's my husband."

You glanced at Daryl who seemed to be hesitating but then he held the pickaxe toward her. She took it and he stepped back beside you. 

You watched as she hesitated for a moment, holding the weapon over her shoulder as she looked down at him sadly, before swinging down harshly with a loud crack. For a moment you thought she would stop there, but that first swing only woke something inside of her as she began hitting him over and over again, more anger and rage coming out of her with each slam of the blade. It surprised you, but it didn't at the same time. This was the man who beat her constantly, who made her feel worthless and weak for God only knows how long, leaving her building everything up inside.

She eventually came to a stop as his head was completely smashed in, her breathing heavy as she contained herself again and kept her remaining composure. She turned back towards you with a barely noticeable smile, handing the weapon back to Daryl as she muttered a small 'thank you' before walking back off to find her daughter.

Once she was nearly out of sight, you looked at Daryl with concern. He shrugged one shoulder as he looked down at the bodies.

Jacqui's loud yell cut through the air and brought everyone's attention to her as she screamed, "A walker got him! A walker bit Jim!"

You froze upon hearing that, and none of you hesitated as you all ran over to the man who was now holding a shovel to protect himself from everyone. His eyes were filled with fear as everyone began to slowly crowd around him at an exaggerating pace, sweat beating down on his pale skin from the scorching hot sun and the nerves of you all finding out his secret.

"Show it to us," Daryl demanded with a pointed finger.

But Jim didn't budge, still holding onto the shovel and swinging it around to try and get you all away from him. "Jim, Jim, it's okay," you said and took a step toward him, "We just want to see it. We won't do anything to you."

"I'm okay," he insisted. That's when T-Dog quickly snuck up behind him and held his arms back, so the shovel fell out of his grasp with a clatter. You quickly reached forward and lifted his shirt to see a bite mark on his side.

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay," he kept repeating, almost convincing himself more than anyone else as you all saw the bloody mark left on his body.

You dropped his shirt and stepped back with T. You stared at the bitten man in sadness as he kept repeating the words.

Jacqui didn't waste any more time as she ushered him away from the group, letting him sit down behind the RV to let him get out of the sun for a while, while getting him a drink. Everyone else just seemed to form around in a small circle away from him, talking about his fate and how there wasn't a lot of time left to discuss this to begin with.

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," Daryl stated as he slung the heavy weapon over his shoulder.

"No," you said, causing everyone to turn their attention to you. You shook your head, "We can't."

"He's gonna die anyway," Daryl said.

"I don't care," you said and looked at each person, "We can't. There's a line, and we can't cross it."

"So what?" Daryl asked, "You wanna wait until your buddy dies and comes back to eat you?"

"She's right," Rick said, taking your side.

Shane was taking your side as well when he responded to Daryl, "Would you want us to do that if it was you? Kill you immediately if you get bitten?"

"Yeah," Daryl answered, "And I'd thank ya while ya did it."

"It's Jim's choice," you said softly.

"What about the CDC?" Rick asked suddenly, "I heard that they were working on a cure."

Shane scoffed, "Yeah I heard that too, I heard a lot of things before the world went to hell."

"What if the CDC is still up and running?" Rick asked.

"Man, that is a stretch right there." Shane said.

"Well think about, it I think it's our best shot, shelter, protection, food--"

"Okay, Rick, you want those things, all right?" Shane asked. "I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning."

"That's 100 miles in the opposite direction," Lori said.

"Yeah, but it's away from the hot spot," Shane replied.

Rick sighed, "Look, the CDC might be Jim's only chance."

You caught sight of Daryl slowly turning to stare at Jim, seeing the idea form in his mind. He made eye contact with you once he felt your stare and you lightly shook your head telling him no, to not start something he couldn't finish. 

He just rolled his eyes before slowly stalking backwards toward Jim, pickaxe raised. "Man, someone just needs to take care of the damn problem!" he yelled before rushing over to put an end to this.

"Daryl, don't!" Shane snapped as you ran past him to put yourself in front of Jim without even thinking, while Rick raced to catch up and held his gun to the back of Daryl's head.

When Daryl saw you stepped in front of him his grip on the pickaxe faltered, but only for a split second as he clearly didn't expect you to put yourself in such a situation.

"We don't kill the living," Rick snapped lowly.

Daryl's eyes narrowed as he slowly looked back towards him, the gun now placed between his eyes, "S' funny... coming from a man who just put a gun ta my head," he replied snarkily.

Shane stepped over, "We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down. Go on."

Daryl put the pickaxe down and stormed off towards the woods to have another little tantrum by himself. Rick looked over at you as he placed his weapon back and nodded in appreciation for stepping in, before moving over to take Jim into the RV to rest until you will figure out what you were going to do.

As you saw the two made it inside safely, you started dragging the bodies still scattered around in the piles you had made until Glenn and T came over and offered to help you.

Today was a depressing day that just seemed endless, constantly being reminded of what you all lost in just minutes with every glance you took around this place. It was a hot mess, everything bloody and disgusting from the horror scene. But it only seemed to get worse as everyone around the area heard a single loud gunshot ring out amongst the silence, looking back quickly to see Andrea sobbing all over again. Amy's now dead and lifeless body laid in her arms, and for you it became almost too much to handle as her cries were only growing louder.

You glanced around and then turned and headed off into the woods. As you did, you spotted Daryl looking around with his crossbow, probably making sure there were no more walkers nearby.

He glanced over at you and then away as you approached him. "Hey," you said softly.

"Should be in camp," he said, his eyes searching around.

"I came to check up on you."

Daryl's head turned to you, clearly taken back. "Why?" he asked and turned back to look around.

You shrugged lightly as you crossed your arms over your chest. "I don' know, maybe 'cause you're my friend?" He quickly looked back at you. "At least I think of you as one." There was a moment of silent before you spoke again softly, "I'm sorry. About Merle."

He glanced at you and then looked away, nodding in respond. You let out a soft sigh and glanced down, "I am, you know?"

"Thanks," you heard him muttering and you glanced at him. "He's out there, somewhere."

You hesitated for a moment before you spoke softly, "Are you... are you gonna go look for him?"

He seemed to be in deep thought, thinking over your question before he finally gave a small shrug. "Don' know..."

"I, uh--" you started but you didn't know what to say exactly. Forget about your stoner brother and stay with us? Yeah, like that would be a good conversation, you thought sarcastically. "You should, you know, stay with us..."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you're my friend, and I want you to stay," you admitted, "I--I feel better knowing you around." Feel better knowing you around? Making it a bit obvious you into him, I think, you thought.

He stared at you for a moment before he looked back toward the camp over your shoulder before away, "Come on, let's go back to camp."

He turned and walked toward you, brushing his arm against yours as he walked past you. You swallowed and let out a soft sigh before turning around and following him to the entrance.

You looked toward Dale as he approached you. Despite everything that had been going on at this moment he smiled a small smile to you and stood in front of you. "What you said, about not crossing a line of killing Jim..." he trailed off and nodded in approval, "That's what keeps us human."

You smiled a small sad smile, "We can't forget who we are just because the world ended, right?"

Dale nodded, smiling lightly, "That's right."

****

A few hours had passed, and darkness now covered the sky. 

You had buried and burned all the remaining bodies and finally came to the decision that all of you would make the trip to the CDC in order to try and help Jim. Deep down, you thought it was a lost cause, but you didn't say it. 

As everyone were sitting around the fire, you were a stone away from the rest and just sketching on your new sketch book Glenn found for you. Your eyes lifted up and down as to not miss a single detail, getting everyone perfectly in their image as they quietly talked, getting more tired by the second.

You felt a person leaning over and glanced over to see Carl. He smiled as he stared down at your sketch and you smiled at him. "You like?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding.

You gave him another smile and turned back to your sketch. You glanced back up again to get some finishing touches when your eyes landed on Daryl who was sitting quietly to himself, the furthest away from everyone else on a tree stump. 

You glanced back at your sketch and flipped to an empty page. You glanced at Carl and saw the boy sitting next to you and gave a couple of pets to Max's. You glanced back at Daryl and studied him. He didn't look miserable but yet slightly uncomfortable sitting around the fire with everyone.

You looked down at the page and started to sketch him. You felt another person on your left side leaning over and you quickly glanced to see Glenn looking over at your sketch. His eyes moved to your face as he leaned back, and he raised his eyebrows with a small teasing smile.

You felt your cheeks heating up and you gave him a look as you closed your sketch book. He caught to what the look meant, and he placed a finger on his lips, promising not to say anything.

You let out a silent breath and glanced toward Daryl before looking down at your dog, giving him a couple of pets on the head.

****

This morning was chaotic to say the least as you all got ready in the early in the morning to head off towards the CDC like Rick had planned. Everything felt rushed as the group packed up everything from the camp, placing it all into small little bags as you all gathered around for one last moment before diving straight into the unknown. 

It was nerve racking.

You could sense immediately that everyone was uneasy about this decision, now more than ever knowing that you all were actually going through with it. Since you first woke up this morning there had been nothing but tension and anxiety filling the air, though nothing seemed to change. In fact, you all only seemed to need to get there faster with how fast Jim seemed to be slipping away.

"Everybody listen up," Shane started, "Those of you with CBs, we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

Morales stepped up next as he looked to all of you with saddened eyes, "We're, uh, we're not going."

You all looked to him and his family that was gathered behind him, unsure if they knew what they were doing. "Are you sure?" Rick asked.

He nodded as his wife spoke, "We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people."

"We're sure. I gotta do what's right for my family."

You watched as Lori hugged Miranda, and the children were saying their goodbyes. You glanced toward Daryl, who was leaning against his pickup truck, his brother's motorcycle was in the back. You stepped toward him and leaned against the truck, speaking quietly, "So... are you coming with us?"

He shrugged, "Guess I am. Better in a group than alone." You smiled a little and nodded.

Everyone then began moving towards their vehicles, and you glanced around before looking back at Daryl, "Mind if I ride with you?"

"Guess the dog with too if you will, huh?" he said, and you smiled as you raised an eyebrow. He scoffed, "Get in."

You picked up Max and opened the passenger door. You placed Max in the front and got in as Daryl got into the driver seat. You placed your bag by your feet as Daryl started the truck. You began to drive to the CDC as soon as the RV began to move.

You glanced out the window, leaning your elbow against it, staring at the entirety of the forest passing by as you all slowly made your way down the little mountain.

Taglist:

@tfamidoingwithmylife, @cold-v0dka

[mayamistake]

[bambibimbosparkles]

https://archive.org/details/20250128-cdc-datasets

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Emma DelRosso

* * * *

Opposing the president-elect's nominations

December 2, 2024

Robert B. Hubbell

Dec 02, 2024

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, Trump nominated conspiracy theorist Kash Patel as FBI Director and convicted tax fraudster Charles Kushner (Jared’s father) as Ambassador to France. Trump also nominated his daughter Tiffany’s father-in-law, Massad Boulos, as a senior adviser covering Arab and Middle Eastern affairs.

Last week I wrote that “Few imagined how bad Trump's nominees would be.” That statement was made before the nominations of Patel and Kushner, nominations that ratcheted up the sickening stream of dangerous, unqualified, and insulting choices that are collectively and individually the worst nominations in our nation’s history.

It is important to understand how disastrous these nominations will be for the US. However, it is not enough to bemoan and condemn Trump's nominations. This newsletter isn’t intended to be a pity party. It is a call to action.

We must flood our representatives in Congress with feedback from constituents demanding that they place the interests of the United States above the revenge agenda of the Republican leader. In the short term, that is what we can do—so we must do it. In the mid range, we can set about defeating Trump's enablers at the ballot box. There must be a political price to pay for supporting party above country and for being cowards when our nation needed courageous leaders.

Before turning to individual nominees, let’s examine the stakes. For once, Trump has been consistent in his actions and has stayed “on message”—in a bad way. His nominations can be grouped into three broad categories:

He seeks to weaken, if not destroy, the US intelligence community and federal law enforcement agencies—in retribution for their temerity in seeking to hold him to account for his crimes. Matt Gaetz (DOJ), Pam Bondi (DOJ), Tulsi Gabbard (NDI), Kash Patel (FBI), Stephen Miller (Depty. Chief of Staff), Kristi Noem (Homeland Security), Sebastian Gorka (Depty. Ass’t to President), John Ratcliffe (CIA), Pete Hegseth (DOD), and Matthew Whittaker (NATO).

He seeks to weaken, if not destroy, the federal government’s healthcare and science expertise—in retribution for their temerity in challenging his lunatic ideas about COVID. Robert Kennedy (HHS), Dr. Oz (Medicare), Jay Bhattacharya (NIH), Dave Weldon (CDC), and Martin A. Makary (FDA commissioner).

Finally, he seeks to destroy the administrative state—a “quid pro quo” to the business community for supporting a candidacy that was designed solely to evade his criminal liabilities. Elon Musk (Government Efficiency), Vivek Ramaswamy (Government Efficiency), Linda McMahon (Education), Russell T. Vought (OMB), Chris Wright (Energy), Brendan Carr (F.C.C. Chair).

Let’s take a look at Trump's most recent nominations

Kash Patel is the sworn enemy of the FBI—so Trump intends to nominate him as FBI Director

Kash Patel is in a love-hate relationship with the FBI. Patel wants to destroy the FBI while converting it into a weapon of political vengeance.

Patel has promised to “shut down” the FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C. on his first day as director of the FBI and re-open the FBI Headquarters the next day as a “museum to the deep state.” He said,

I'd shut down the FBI Hoover Building on day one and reopen the next day as a museum of the deep state. And I'd take the 7,000 employees that work in that building and send them across America to chase down criminals.

But he has also threatened to use the FBI to harass journalists and politicians who sought to hold Trump accountable for his crimes. Patel said,

[W]e’re going to come after the people in the media who lied about American citizens, who helped Joe Biden rig presidential elections — we’re going to come after you. Whether it’s criminally or civilly, we’ll figure that out.

Note that the man who is supposed to “pursue justice” has said that retribution comes first—and “we’ll figure out” why the FBI is harassing US citizens later.

Patel’s twin aims for the FBI should be immediately disqualifying. But prominent Republicans flocked to the TV talk shows on Sunday to defend Kash Patel as a “reformer” who will “root out” the partisanship in an FBI that is dominated by right-wing MAGA leadership as it is.

Bill Barr famously said that that Kash Patel would be appointed Deputy Director of the FBI “over my dead body.” See Joyce Vance, Civil Discourse on Substack, The New Matt Gaetz.

Likewise, former acting director of the FBI, Andrew McCabe, said on CNN,

The fact that Kash Patel is profoundly unqualified for this job is not even like a matter for debate. . . . The installation . . . of Kash Patel as FBI director, can only possibly be a plan to disrupt, to dismantle, to distract the FBI and to possibly use it as a tool for the president’s political agenda.

McCabe was virulently anti-Hillary Clinton, leaking damaging information to the WSJ during the 2016 campaign. (McCabe lied to then Director James Comey about the leak and was later fired for his conduct). The fact that a rogue ex-FBI Director is alarmed by Kash Patel speaks volumes.

The nomination of Kash Patel should be viewed as an assault on the US intelligence community. Although people frequently think of the FBI as chasing bank robbers and kidnappers, it plays a critical role in counterterrorism and intelligence gathering.

The FBI is a member of the US Intelligence Community and has a dual report to the Director of National Intelligence (Tulsi Gabbard). It is charged with US counterterrorism investigations and maintains 60 offices overseas (primarily to coordinate with foreign intelligence agencies).

Indeed, Kash Patel has said that he wants to extricate the FBI from intelligence activities—a move that will make all Americans less safe in a dangerous world. See AP, Trump says he'll nominate Kash Patel as FBI director to remake the agency. Here's what happens next. Per AP,

Patel has also talked about disentangling the FBI’s intelligence-gathering activities — now a core function of the bureau’s mandate — from the rest of its law enforcement operations. It’s unclear whether he intends to carry through on that pledge or how it would be greeted at a time when the U.S. is facing what officials say is a heightened threat of terrorism.

As background for the upcoming fight over Kash Patel, I recommend several sources.

First, Joyce Vance’s excellent analysis in Civil Discourse, The New Matt Gaetz.

Next, The Guardian takes a deep dive into Kash Patel’s conspiracy theory past: Conspiracy theorist Kash Patel, Trump’s pick to lead FBI, faces Senate blowback | FBI | The Guardian

Finally, see the NYTimes, Kash Patel Would Bring Bravado and Baggage to F.B.I. Role. (Accessible to all.) The Times article is long on detail but short on self-awareness or political insight. For example, whatever Kash Patel's nomination means, it is not about “bravado” or “baggage.”

Patel’s threat to pursue journalists appears more than two dozen paragraphs into the Times’ story. In a democracy that is still hoping and pleading with legacy media to raise the alarm about Trump's intentions, twenty-four paragraphs into a story is not the right emphasis for an article about an FBI enforcement policy that would convert the FBI into a partisan police force directed at the media.

The Senate should reject Patel’s nomination. But Trump may attempt to place Patel in an “acting Director” role by manipulating the Federal Vacancy Reform Act. See Congressional Research Service, The Vacancies Act: A Legal Overview.

Trump's nomination of Charles Kushner as Ambassador to France is insulting to France and the US

Jared Kushner’s father—Charles Kushner—is a convicted tax fraudster who engaged in witness tampering while he was under investigation. Donald Trump pardoned Charles Kushner during Trump's first term. Trump has now nominated Charles Kushner as Ambassador to France.

It is difficult to imagine a less fitting Ambassador to France the Charles Kushner.

While Kushner was under investigation for tax fraud, his brother-in-law was a cooperating witness. Kushner hired a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law and filmed the sexual encounter in a hotel room between his brother-in-law and the prostitute.

Kushner then sent the video of the sexual encounter to his sister to induce her to dissuade her husband from testifying against Kushner. See ABC News, Trump wants pardoned real estate developer Charles Kushner to become US ambassador to France.

The nomination of Charles Kushner as US Ambassador to France is the diplomatic equivalent of flipping the middle finger to a foreign nation. France would be well within its rights to refuse to receive Kushner as the Ambassador and tell the US to recall Kushner to the states.

In the Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations, a nation has the unilateral authority to expel an ambassador:

The receiving state may at any time and without having to explain its decision, notify the sending state that the head of the mission or any member of the diplomatic staff of the mission is persona non grata or that any other member of the staff of the mission is not acceptable. In any such case, the sending state shall, as appropriate, either recall the person concerned or terminate his functions with the mission.

See Foreign Policy, So, How Do You Expel an Ambassador, Anyway? – Foreign Policy

Concluding Thoughts

President Biden pardoned his son Hunter Biden on Sunday. Against the orgy of Trump pardons of family, friends, and advisers, Biden’s pardon of his son on minor charges pursued for political purposes seems quaint and unremarkable. Biden’s reasons for pardoning his son are understandable—and probably meritorious. But Biden’s decision will become precedent for future pardons—by presidents with flimsy or corrupt reasons for pardoning family members. What is done can’t be undone, but the decision to grant a pardon to Hunter Biden was unwise and will further undermine the presidential pardon power.

And yes, I do understand the differences between Biden’s decision and the pardons issued by Trump. But examining the Hunter Biden pardon through the lens of the interests of the American people, it was unwise.

After I wrote last week that the nomination process has been more difficult than expected, I received several comments from readers (and my Managing Editor), saying, “Thanks for acknowledging that the nomination process has been worse than expected.”

It feels like we are living in a world turned upside down. Sexual abusers and convicted criminals are being nominated to positions of trust and honor. Demagogues who want to destroy the federal government are being granted leading roles in agencies they will seek to destroy. Unqualified, ignorant conspiracy mongers are being entrusted with the health and safety of our children and elderly. Disgruntled and aggrieved “ne’er do-wells” are being placed in charge of the US counterterrorism agencies.

If you feel like the subject in Edvard Munsch’s painting, The Scream, there is nothing wrong with your radar. You should feel that way—and more. I add the “and more” modifier because much of the press is still reporting on the nominations as if they are the player line-up being announced at Yankee Stadium on a Sunday afternoon.

The nominees represent a threat to the safety and stability to our society as a whole. Discussing the nominees’ “bravado” and “baggage” and “lack of experience” is misleading. The “lack of experience” is a feature, not a bug. What better way to destroy a federal agency than nominating someone who has no idea what the agency does? See, e.g., The Independent, Trump taps GOP megadonor with no military experience to head up US Navy.

We must attempt to derail as many of these nominations as possible—but especially Kash Patel, Pete Hegseth, Tulsi Gabbard, and Robert Kennedy. Call or write your Senators and make your voice heard: U.S. Senate: Contacting The Senate. Even unsuccessful efforts to stop some nominations will lay the groundwork for opposition to future actions. No effort is wasted, even if the fruits of that effort are not immediately visible.

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

[jovialtorchlight]

why i love enver gortash

enver gortash is the most relatable BBG i have ever come across in a piece of media, and not because i sympathize with his story or his personality or anything about him. i love him so much because of how shitty he looks for like the entire game. like he somehow looks less alive than the bad guy who has been clinically dead for a hundred years. he looks like he wakes up each morning, has an angina, and shocks himself back into a regular cardiac rhythm with a fucking car battery. he looks like he is AFIB, VFIB, and ABCDEFFib. he looks like he is constantly on the knife's edge of dying. like stepping weird on a lego could end him violently. like he wakes up each morning and pisses nail polish remover. like his version of bathing is climbing underneath an engine bay during an oil change and dunking his face in the flowing stream of oil. like his version of a bubble bath is a plastic tub full of lukewarm fry-o-lator grease. he looks like the townie that was busted for selling meth to seventh graders in the lowes parking-lot when i was 12. my man looks like just slept face down mouth hanging open in an arby's bathroom stall for 12 hours. he looks like he has diseases that the CDC hasn't even FATHOMED. my guy is UNWELL