#sunshine in your inbox

[nerdieforpedro]

drop this sunflower 🌻 into the inboxes of the blogs that make you happy! lets spread a little sunshine ☀️

Thank you! It is a little sunshine ☀️ I'm glad my odd little space in this section of Tumblr bring you any semblance of joy. I have you're having a great time whenever you read this.

[crabsnpersimmons]

hiii Crabs :D placing him gently down in your inbox ✨

OHHHHHH RAM I LOVE HIM 💖💖💖💖💖💖

i will treasure him and feed him and water him and play with him and take him for walks and give him brushies and headpats and prepare a little bed for him and dress him up and and and

[icedlemonlatte]

🧸 - omg this is the cutest thing ever ever can I plspls join in

tay ofc!!! ♡♡♡ you are 100% this unique and dazzling froggy build a bear

-send 🧸 for a build a bear

[oneluckydragon]

hoooooo boy. just finished reading the first chapter of your recent fic and i am plagued with a thousand thoughts, all of which i am going to ramble onto you for the funsies. prepare thyself

dusknoir's guilt and innermost dilemma is one that i can eat and drink up like fine wine because there is something in the way you wrote him that is just amazing. a ghost who experiences warmth, kinship, feelings he had not felt in years, and it breaks something within him. it tears apart the roots of which he had so begrudgingly grown within himself for the sake of self preservation, like a farmer in a garden full of weeds. to be appreciated, to be loved, to be needed, to have one's presence welcomed, that his opinion matters most, it almost makes him turn over. but to every pleasantry comes pain. to every pride comes foil. to every bright day comes a raging storm. dusknoir thinks of himself as he undeserves it all. how long had his mind schemed over wishing he could burn up his grass-type comrades, all before he regained a mortal heart that kills him for thinking so? how much had he wanted and waited for grovyle to bear his vulnerable hide for him to sic and melt him, to wear him like a loose suit and follow suit to ensure that nothing shall stand in his way, only to be stopped in his tracks when his mind triumphed over his self preservation? oh, how the mighty have fallen. greatness reduced to rubble. a roman empire brushed as if it was dust. dusknoir is afraid, for he is loved by those whom should not love him. and when he finally meets face to face with someone whos ire is justified, when he looks at echo in the eye and waits impending doom and judgement, he is granted nothing. not the pain-splitting hatred he believed he would receive, he is toyed with. no reaction. hucker down and *beg* for the scorn, you filthy man. and even when sora reacts in justification to his presence, it pangs harder when grovyle and celebi jump to defend his aid. undeserving, unworthy, yet it still continues. all this support, for all the bridges he had burned. comical. funny. *hilarious*, even. he does not deserve this. a second chance, the gift of life, and the gift of knowing the right from the wrong. but he gets it. for he is still mortal. and he is deserving of change, one he will have to work up from the ground, loath of the self aside. he will have to know the hurt of which he has caused, see it face to face and watch as it threatens to pluck his eye out. and even with echo's proposal given, it almost feels too-good-too-fast. it all happened all too fast, yet the memories loop in his mind in slow motion. gotta relish the ever-so mesmerizing play he constructed out of everyone, after all. actors long tired, long burned out by his own foolish. both metaphorically, and *literally.* at least he knows what to do now. even if it's the most painful thing he will do. this too shall pass, like the leaves in the wind.

@mt-travaii Sinnoh beating me over the head with a steel chair (affectionately)!!!

I am so, so immensely relieved that the way I've written Dusknoir seems to be liked thus far. And having you take the time to write out your feelings and tell me that you enjoyed my portrayal of him makes my heart go crazy!!

Gosh gosh GOSH the way you've broken him down into his most basic essence in this ask. I am speechless. I don't even know what to write, if I'm entirely honest. You always manage to peek directly into my brain, Sinnoh. It's like magic.

I have been trying my best to write Dusknoir as someone who's security blanket (his immense ego, his meticulously crafted persona, the strategic emotional crutch he mentally developed like a protective barrier to cope with his life serving Dialga, enduring that torture day after day after day) has been ripped away from him and now he is forced to adapt, to become someone completely new from what bare bones remain of his true self-- and that someone has to be honest, has to care about his partners that have chosen to stick by his side, has to prove that his life was worth saving and that he isn't a waste of space. That it wasn't a mistake that he was revived.

It was easy for him to pretend these things before, to lie and cheat his way into friendships for his own personal gain. But now he can't lie. It isn't for his own gain, it's because he truly desires to be around his friends. It has to be real-- and that scares him. Because he's never been real a day in his life and he's certain that everything is going to blow up in his face. (He wants them near, he wants them near so badly, but he's afraid, so afraid to tell them so because what if they scorn his vulnerability? Laugh at his need to keep them close? What if he bears his soul, holds his life out to them in his hands, and they choose to crush it? He could not take it. He would break.)

Now, I enjoy classic egotistical/witty/confident/sly Dusknoir just as much as everyone else, and maybe he'll regain some of that haughty confidence eventually. But at least right now, without his mask to hide behind, he's unprepared and exposed and has no idea what to do with his current emotional crisis because he's completely inexperienced.

AND GOSH. I can't even express how accurate your examination of Dusknoir and his interactions with Echo, Sora, Grovyle, and Celebi are in comparison to my literal ideas while I was writing. I JUST CANNOT!!! I have nothing to build on regarding what you wrote. It's perfect. It's beyond perfect. <3

I'm gonna reread this ask 5 more times and lie down face first on the floor. Thank u Sinnoh!!!

[wexhappyxfew]

Hi Shannon!!

Sorry to hear that school is so busy. I understand the STEM major life well😅 I’m glad you got rest this weekend and please don’t ever worry when you are busy. Your readers will be here whenever you post another piece!!

On that note, this is not meant to be pushy or anything, I just needed to share my thoughts! I finished my MOTA rewatch and episode 8 and 9 were KILLER for the hurt/comfort vibes. The stress of the camps, Bucky going absolutely stir crazy, the winter, the March, etc. After watching, I went back and read your most recent Kennedy x Bucky fic and I could picture everything so perfectly. I ALSO returned to the little snippet you gave us of Bucky and Kennedy. All in all, I am so excited for your future fics and had to let you know!! I hope you are not tired of seeing me in your inbox🥹

Hoping things have slowed down a little for you🫶🏼

-☀️

HI SUNSHINE ANON!!!!!!! so lovely to see you in my inbox this morning!!!! :) yes! 😭😭😭 it truly is so so busy and chaotic, especially with applications and such so thank you sm for understanding!!!! i barely have time to think these days haha! thank you so much! 🥹🫶✨

OMGGGGGGG!!!!!! omg please always feel free to share your thoughts with me, i eat them UP!!! especially if i’m where i don’t have time to write or anything, just seeing the thoughts that readers have makes me so happy and excited!!!!! :) it makes me SO SO HAPPY to know you could picture everything so vividly for kennedy x bucky after your rewatch - sometimes just to hit that ‘vibe’ those episodes have with writing is a little tough but i’m so glad they came through there with that! 🥹 kennedy x bucky in that era of ‘we’re in love but there’s also a war on’ makes it fit for so much angst/grief/whump/comfort that i LOVE IT!!!!!! it means sm to know you can picture things with them, ESPECIALLY kennedy x bucky who just …… THEY NEED EACH OTHER TRULY!!!!!! really conveying that ‘if you’re going crazy, i’m going crazy too’ vibes haha! i’m excited to get more writing out soon! so thank you so much for checking in, brightening my morning and your care!!! it means a lot!

IM NEVER TIRED OF SEEING YOU IN THE INBOX!!!!!! i always love your thoughts and ideas so truly, thanks for keeping me company here!!! <33333 highly appreciated! 🥰🤗

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! (i feel i’m only getting busier at school haha 😭 !!!!!!) enjoy the rest of your day/afternoon/night!!!! :)

[mayoiayasep]

do i even want to ask where leo and ritsu's solos ended up on that ranking .

....

leo2 - 57

leo1 - 38

ritsu2 - 33

ritsu1 - 23

[lovinglin]

hi pico 🍏! i'm curious, what was your impression of lara when you first met? what do you think of her now? :3

🍏: Ah shit, this one's gonna be real messy to answer. Thanks for askin' still though, but I gotta be honest that I ain't too fond of rememberin' my "first impressions" of her.

I'll try to recall it still though, for the sake of answerin' this.

🍏: Alright, so... first impressions you say? My first impressions of Lara was that she was nothin' more than another target on my list for me and my friends to get some easy money.

Wasn't asked to kill her, just track her down and bring her back. Kinda the same from my usual work, just without the killing.

The picture I was given for reference didn't show her face... but she seemed to wear a mask, so I wasn't able to judge anything regarding her looks anyway.

But I did assume at the time that she was someone weak. Someone me and my friend's won't have any trouble catchin'.

Boy, was I wrong though.

🍏: She was a real slippery one. Took us three around a week or two before we finally found her. I was the first one to have her in my sights, but she was able to escape still. Gotta hand it to her now that I'm rememberin' it though, she knew how to run and avoid us.

It was a real pain in the ass though, at that time.

Still I...

🍏: A—nyway... enough of that. Moving on now to your next question. What do I think of her now?

She's a sweetheart, I love her lots and wouldn't trade anything else for her. She's a saint to put it simply, and it's almost a little ironic considerin' she's actually a real, living angel. It's probably in her blood to act the way she does.

Dunno how else to describe her beyond that. I'd pull out the whole damn dictionary to speak out every single positive word if I have to, but I know y'all aren't here to listen to me yap about that.

I just... love her. So much. I really do. She's amazing, and I hope she knows that.

Christ, this got real long, but hopefully that'll suffice as an answer.

[illholy]

Kiths u

me, when i get a kisshy kishh from my tumblr fave :

[swiftscion]

Sitri approaches Larcei with a smile. “I am Lilian, here to deliver the gift from your envoy. Season's blessings, Princess Larcei.” In her hands there's a medium sized box. The note atop the wrapping paper reads, "To: Larcei. From: Your dashing Winter Envoy." Inside the box is a brand-new set of black leather sheath straps. Tucked neatly under the practical gift are a pair of silver dangly earrings--a bar about two inches long. Understated, yet they add a touch of elegance to any outfit. 

"Yo!" she greets with a wave, but soon finds herself quirking a brow. That formality on Sitri's lips is like a left shoe on a right foot: it isn't right. She dismisses it with a second, sheepish wave. "We've already met before. No need for that princess crap."

The gift soon takes her attention. It comes in two parts, which suggests that the whole breadth of her wishlist was taken into account. So far, so good. The straps are what captivate her first--the battle-loving thing she is. Of note is that while their make is superb, they aren't ornate. The sender's arse clearly hasn't been cushioned by a throne. After returning them to the box, she lets the earrings dangle between her fingers.

"Woah, check these out... I haven't changed my old ones in years..." They are held against the lobe of her ear as a point of comparison for the still-spectating Sitri. The eagerness in her eyes asks if they look any good.

Things take a turn when she reaches for the note. She scans it, and that word--dashing--makes her twitch. It can't be, it can't possibly be? ...Can it? Thoughts of him pop into her head. Her cheeks burn. He would use a word like that, but he couldn't possibly have returned just to give her this...!

"Er, th-thanks," Larcei coughs. Her face stains redder when she remembers she is still standing in front of Sitri. Straps and earrings fall back into the box and are swiftly shut away. They're damn good gifts, but the note, she still carries. Someone at this academy needs to be knocked down a peg, someone--crusaders by damned--dashing. The trick is scoping out who, without stroking their ego.

"You sure went through a lot to get this to me... I'll find whoever's responsible for this on my own."

[troubledmedic]

Tag dump. Please ignore.

[sunshinetrinket]

What's your username origin story?

oh man. so back in like 2019 i was in three discord servers (i was in more but only those three are important here) and my names in them were sunshine, look alive, and look alive sunshine (my chem reference)((not really but i only knew that phrase from mcr)). sunshine itself ending up very briefly my discord username. whenever i would input my name somewhere it was sunshine but then i had to make real usernames and it couldnt be sunshine because obviouslt thats already taken so when i went to make a twitch account i finally had to get a real username and i . actually don't remember where trinket came from it was either like a random word i thought of or i used a word generator but that was the one sunshinetrinket and now its quite iconic really i couldn't let go of it

[thats-cantorintuitive]

hi <3 saw ur post on the community and just wanted to say, i relate to you so hard right now. my midsems were so bad, they were probably the worst exams ive ever written. so from someone else in stem, i hope you feel better. like, i get the horrible thoughts and everything and just, you're not alone in this. we'll get through it one day at a time <3 sending you lots of love

first off, *hugs*. thank you for writing, thank you for letting me know.

I mean, I know that I'm not alone in this, that there's someone out there who's going through something similar, or the same, or maybe worse, even. but then, on my bad days, I look around and everyone's got it better than me, easier than me (some say that even I look like I've got it all together, but y'all know the Real Thing) and it does feel like I'm in this, alone and on my own.

thank you for reminding me that I'm not. I hope it gets better soon, for both of us. we'll get through this, one day at a time :') sending you lots of love, too

[lacyblades]

౨ৎ ceo!satoru doesn't have time for romance.

as much as he'd like it — and sometimes, late at night in his ridiculously oversized apartment, he really would like it — it's just not in the cards. doesn't help that every so-called date he's endured felt more like an interview for his bank account than a genuine connection.

but then there's you. freshly employed, radiating a kind of unassuming prettiness that hits him like a punch to the gut. smitten doesn't even cover it.

he's in love. truly, madly, deeply. he swears it's not just some fleeting infatuation, not just limerence. this feels… different. real.

you're gorgeous, an actual angel who seems utterly oblivious to the effect you have. he catches himself just staring sometimes, a dumbfounded look on his face.

satoru's not entirely sure who hired you. some faceless name in hr, he supposes. whoever it is that works below him and handles the grunt work. because, and he hates to admit it even to himself, you're… well, you're not exactly competent. not that he cares, not really.

important documents vanish into thin air. work emails somehow end up in the inbox of the company's biggest rival. entire tasks seem to just… slip your mind. it's almost comical, if it wasn't so baffling.

and yet, he's obsessed. utterly, completely gone. maybe it's those big, naïve doe eyes that seem to hold a universe of innocent confusion. or the way you unconsciously nibble on your lower lip when you're trying to concentrate, your delicate brows furrowed in the cutest way.

you're always perky, though, a little ray of sunshine bouncing through the office, ready to tackle… well, whatever you manage to remember needs tackling.

could also be that skirt you insist on wearing. far too short for a professional environment, riding high on your thighs. he’s not even slightly ashamed to admit he’s “accidentally” dropped his phone more than once, the screen cracking a small price to pay for a glimpse of the lacy sliver peeking out from underneath. he could buy a new phone. or seven.

satoru tells himself he’s not a pervert, but the truth is, every morning when you greet him with that bright smile, his gaze lingers a little too long on the gentle swell of your breasts beneath your blouse.

he’s practically drooling, a shameful heat pooling low in his belly. you just don’t seem to notice, or maybe you’re just too sweet to say anything.

so, he’s doing you a favor, really, when he promotes you to his personal assistant. it’s a step up, right? except there’s nothing you actually have to do. he has a perfectly capable secretary for all the actual work.

your main job? looking pretty. being near him.

double the pay, all the fancy benefits, and absolutely none of the tedious labor.

well, unless you count being bent over his expansive mahogany desk, getting thoroughly, mind-numbingly fucked, as labor. not collapsing from exhaustion; that’s a different kind of hard work entirely. especially when your boss seems to possess the stamina of a goddamn marathon runner fueled by pure lust.

papers are scattered like fallen leaves, cascading onto the plush carpet. his grip on your hips is possessive, digging in, promising bruises that will bloom beautifully on your skin. a trail of your drool glistens on an unsigned contract, a testament to the utter control he has over you in this moment.

his thick cock fills you completely, each powerful thrust sending jolts of pure sensation through your body, making your head spin. “hah, feel that, precious? you’re squeezing me s'tight,” he groans, one hand leaving your waist to slide down and firmly cup your ass cheek, his thumb pressing insistently into your slick heat.

“mmm— sir,” you hiccup, your eyes rolling back in your head. holy shit, you can barely breathe, his thick tip bumping against your cervix with a deliberate twitch that makes your core clench involuntarily.

he’s told you, countless times now with this newfound intimacy, not to call him sir, but in this raw, primal moment, he finds it… surprisingly arousing.

his heavy, aching balls slap against your backside with each deep rut of his hips, your cunt a wet, messy testament to his relentless assault.

tears stream down your flushed cheeks, and breathless moans tumble from your lips, pleas and whimpers all blurring together. “i— i think i’m gonna come!”

“yeah? is that — fuck — right?” his voice is thick with want.

you whimper, your fingers digging into the polished edge of the desk, anything to anchor you in the storm of sensation. a broken agreement spills from your lips, your jaw slack with the intensity.

the only coherent thought left in your ravaged mind is his name, and it spills from your lips in desperate, repeated chants. it’s music to his ears, inflating his already considerably large ego.

“i’m close too, precious,” satoru grunts, his breath hot against your neck. it’s only a matter of seconds before he’s unloading another thick, syrupy stream of his seed deep inside the slick walls of your cunt, his body shuddering with the force of his orgasm.

he pulls back slightly, panting, his forehead resting against the back of your head. “remind me to give you another bonus,” he murmurs, his voice still rough. “actually, just jot that down. notepad’s on the left, i think.”

dazed and confident, you look to the right.

[sceletaflores]

LAYING IT ALL ON THE LINE...

꩜ masterlist ꩜ update blog ꩜ inbox ꩜ taglist ꩜ ao3 ꩜

｡꩜°‧➵ PAIR: Joel Miller x fem!reader

｡꩜°‧➵ WC: 4.1k

｡꩜°‧➵ CONTAINS: 18+ SMUT MDNI, post-outbreak, hurt/comfort, joel's pov, general violence, minor character injury, jackson!joel, when he picks an unnecessary fight with you because that's all he knows, mentioned age gap, joel miller as a sad old man, joel miller experiences feelings, oral sex (f!receiving), p in v, clothed sex, unprotected sex, erectile dysfunction? we don't know what that means in this house because that old man can fuck like he's twenty AND his knees are made of steel (but only sometimes), porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.

｡꩜°‧➵ @retrosabers SAYS: thinking about you almost dying on patrol and joel is FUMING, unable to convey just how worried and anxious it makes him. the only way he can even remotely conceptualize his feelings is through a very PASSIONATE rawdogging ♡

｡꩜°‧➵ NAT'S NOTE: everyone say thank you sid for this absolutely luxurious prompt...i'm waiting. i had so much fun with this! i love love love a good semi-angsty, emotionally constipated man having to come to terms with his buried slash repressed feelings in the gritty wake of a near-death experience, like that's my shit. hope y'all love it!

dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics!

joel miller realizes that love isn’t just a four letter word…

"Southeast perimeter’s clear. Heading west by the river bed."

“Wow, you’re finally gonna stop gettin’ us lost out here, sunshine?”

“Lost? Please, you cried when I found that shortcut through the cedar thicket.”

Joel listens to you and Tommy bicker over the radio, a forgotten cup of coffee going cold at his side. That's all he can do when you're out there—patrolling in the snow with a few others. He's not proud of how he just sits by like some anxious house wife, listening to the static between check-ins, but he can't make himself focus on anything other than the way your bright voice filters in and out.

He tries not to hover. Tries not to keep the handheld clutched like it's a goddamn lifeline. But he does, eyes glued to the thing like it might crack open and spill you out if he stares hard enough.

Joel's really not even supposed to be listening in like this. Maria's chewed him out more times than he can count each time she catches him hunched over an old radio that he's never bothered turning in, says it'll do him more harm than good worrying over it.

Besides, these channels aren't meant for civilians sitting on their asses at home. He knows that, because that's exactly what he is now—civilian adjacent. Half-retired.

Tommy jokes about it every once in a while, the way Joel's slowed down, the way his joints complain louder than they used to. A while back, he might've laughed too. Now, every little twinge of pain feels like a reminder of what he used to be.

Joel used to be the one they all looked to out on patrol. He could track better, shoot cleaner, navigate faster than most of the younger guys. That's not the case these days. His patrolling has slowed down over the past few years. He only goes out a few times every couple of months, if even that. 

He tells himself it’s by choice.

It’s not, not at all. He’s tired. His knees ache after long rides. His busted shoulder can’t handle the cold without locking up. Jackson’s got a whole rotation now, young joints, faster reflexes, eyes that don’t blur when the wind hits just right. So he doesn’t go out much anymore. Not unless the group is short. Not unless they really need him.

It makes sense. He knows it makes sense.

That doesn’t make it feel right. You out there, miles away in knee-deep snow with a rifle strapped to your back while he’s stuck here. Not out there. Not beside you.

Joel knows you can handle yourself—hell, you’ve proven that a dozen times over. You’re younger. Strong. Fast. Smart as a whip. You can shoot the cap off a beer bottle and you handle a knife better than most people your age. 

Knowing all that still doesn’t quiet the feeling of unease that eats away at him each time you strap on your gear and kiss him goodbye with a, See you later, Miller. Strolling out the door like it’s casual. Like it’s nothing.

There’s a kind of helpless fury in it. A sick twist in his gut every time he watches you ride out. Like he’s some retired goddamn hunting dog. Trusted to guard the porch, but not sharp enough to run with the pack anymore.

Joel adjusts the volume dial on the radio like it’ll make your voice stay longer.

Tommy’s laugh cuts through the speaker. “Didn’t cry. I got snow in my eye.”

“In July? Sure.”

It comes in grainy and light, full of that same teasing bite you always give Tommy—enough to make Joel’s jaw tighten with a quiet, helpless kind of fondness. He almost smiles, but it doesn’t reach past the tight pull in his chest. You’re still picking your way through territory where any tree line might be hiding something.

Joel shifts in his seat, elbows on the table, jaw clenched tight. He tells himself you’re fine. You always are. You have to be.

The channel goes still for a few beats. Then, a crack of static. Some muffled shuffling. And—

“Wait—something’s moving in the trees. Left side, just past the ridge.”

Your voice. Sharper now. Less teasing and pointedly quiet.

“Copy,” Tommy replies, suddenly serious. “Keep eyes on—”

A burst of noise. A flurry of panicked voices overlapping and shouts. The unmistakable sound of gunfire.

Then nothing.

Dead air.

Joel’s heart drops to his boots. “Tommy?” he barks into the receiver. “Come in. What the hell’s happening out there?”

When there’s no answer, Joel shoots to his feet. The chair scrapes across the floor harshly as he crosses the room in two large strides, fumbling for his jacket. “Tommy? Goddammit, someone answer me!”

Nothing.

Joel’s heart thuds violently against his ribcage as he stares at the little black box in his hand like it’s an omen. He feels it rush in all at once—panic, guilt, helpless rage curling cold and mean in his chest. His ears are ringing so loud he doesn’t hear the slam of the door behind him as he tears out of the house and into the cold air. 

Something happened. The group was compromised. You were compromised.

And he’s not there.

He should’ve been there.

Joel doesn’t remember the sprint to the stables. Doesn’t remember shouting at Maria when she tried to stop him at the gate. Doesn’t remember half the ride out. All he knows is that his hands won’t stop shaking around the reins and the bile in his throat tastes like ash—a sick, gnawing pit growing in his gut.

When he finds the group what feels like hours later, just as the sun starts to rise behind the ridgeline—you’re nowhere to be found. His eyes scan the way everyone’s spread out, some with minor injuries and the others patching them up. 

No sign of you.

Tommy plants himself in front of Joel just as he hauls himself off his horse. He doesn’t even feel the way his knees jolt as his feet hit the ground. 

“Where the hell is she?” he rasps, voice so rough it sounds like it’s been dragged through gravel. “Where, Tommy?”

Tommy’s hands are out in front of him like Joel’s a wild animal about to snap. He’s got blood on his hands, but no signs of stab wounds or bullet holes anywhere on him. It’s not his blood. Joel’s stomach turns viciously at the sight, at the thought of whose it might be.

“She’s fine,” Tommy says, eyes wide and placating. “Took a hit, it grazed her side. She wouldn’t fuckin’ stay down.”

Joel knows he won’t feel any relief until he sees you, alive and breathing with his own eyes. “Where.”

Tommy steps aside just before Joel nearly shoves past him, nodding his head toward a rock outcrop a ways away from everyone else.

You’re sitting closest to the makeshift fire, Jesse crouched beside you to clean the gash along your side. You’re bundled in someone else’s coat, hair mussed and blood soaked through your undershirt and spattered across your cheeks.

Visibly shaken. Color drained. Bloody. Alive.

Joel’s throat locks up when your eyes meet his. You give him the smallest, tired smile—like you're trying to reassure him. That look. That stupid, brave little tilt of your mouth like everything's okay even when you're the one bleeding through Tommy's jacket.

It makes something in his chest crack wide open.

“Joel?”

He doesn’t speak.

Doesn’t know what to say.

Doesn’t trust himself for it to be anything good.

Joel takes three shaky steps towards you before his knees give out. 

He drops hard into the snow. He doesn’t catch himself, doesn’t try. Just falls forward like a penitent man bowing at the altar of a God he doesn’t believe in. His breath comes in short, ragged bursts, eyes locked onto the red seeping through your shirt like it's the only color in the whole damn world.

There’s a beat where nobody moves. Jesse freezes, half-done wrapping gauze, and you’re just sitting there, wide-eyed and shaking like a leaf, lips parted like you’re trying to say something—but Joel’s already reaching for you.

He's on you in the next breath. Not rough, not like usual, not with that greedy, hungry touch he normally has after you come back from patrol. His hands are trembling when they find your face, tilting your chin up gently, his fingers brushing away wet blood and dirt.

Tommy glances away. Jesse too, both men busying themselves with helping the others. It feels too private, even out here in the open.

“Goddammit,” he chokes. “God—baby–”

His voice breaks on the last word. Breaks, something sharp and gutted and boyish, nothing like the hardened man who's grown to guard his emotions like they’re classified. Your hands hover uncertainty over his shoulders, the side of his face. You’re worried. He can see it plain as day, written in the wavering line of your mouth.

“Hey—hey, I’m okay,” you say, voice low and urgent. “I’m fine. Look at me, Joel, I’m fine. It just—it just grazed me, okay? I’m fine.”

You’re not fine.

You’re too pale. You’re stone-cold. Your blood is still tacky on your shirt, drying beneath his body's warmth.

Joel presses his forehead to yours and exhales like he’s been kept underwater, and you were the surface he’d been clawing to.

You whisper his name again, quieter this time, and he shushes you. “Don’t—don’t talk, just—let me—” His fingers press to the pulse point at your wrist like he still needs proof. “Let me feel you.”

You don’t say anything else.

You just hold him.

And Joel doesn’t cry. He can’t. Something won’t let him, but he stays there in the snow for a long time, holding you like a man who thought he’d never get the chance to again.

The ride back to Jackson is quiet.

You fell asleep half-way through, head lolling back against Joel’s shoulder as you both sat in the saddle, your body loose with exhaustion and the emergency pain meds Jesse had in his pack. Tommy rides ahead, checking the trail, but Joel barely looks up. He just holds the reins with one hand and holds you tighter with the other.

You’re taken to the infirmary the second everyone files through the gates. Joel sits by your bedside in stormy silence, hands curled into fists and resting on his knees, the only thing keeping him together.

You talk to the nurse on duty. You even joke with her, cracked voice and tired eyes like it’s all part of the routine. Like getting shot is just another part of the job. And Joel sits there while someone else wraps you in new bandages and checks your vitals.

It makes his blood boil.

All he can think about is the way your voice cut out on the radio. The way he didn’t know if you were dead or bleeding out in some field, alone. And now you’re laughing. Now you’re telling the nurse, “I’m fine really, just sore.” And it makes him want to tear the whole fucking clinic apart.

Joel doesn’t say a word until you're cleared to leave. 

Not on the short walk back to your house. Not when you’re walking through the door, cleaned up. Patched. Your shirt’s gone, replaced by his coat and a thermal blanket around your shoulders.

Not when you nudge his arm gently like you’re testing the waters. Not when you say his name soft, like it might keep him calm before you’re heading towards the bedroom.

It doesn’t.

The moment the door shuts behind him, Joel erupts.

“You got a fuckin’ death wish?”

You freeze in your spot halfway across the room, turning to face him.

Joel doesn’t move. Just stands there, fists clenched at his sides. His voice is low, shaking with barely concealed rage. “You gonna tell me why you thought playin’ saviour was worth bleedin’ out in the snow?”

You don’t say anything for a few beats, eyebrows drawn together in a hard frown as you look at him. “What was I supposed to do, Joel? Jesse was pinned, Tommy would’ve taken the hit. I didn’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice!” Joel grates, stepping towards you. “You could’ve picked you. You could’ve stayed the fuck down like Tommy told you to.”

“I was trying to keep your brother from getting shot in the head,” you snap, the tension finally striking a flint. “I made a judgment call.”

“You made a stupid call,” he spits, voice loud and blistering. “You don’t get to do that.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” you repeat, your body growing stiff and tense.

“You shoulda fuckin’ stayed down.” Joel growls. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it—just rips his flannel off, tosses it hard at the wall.

You don’t flinch. Don’t even look away from him as his shirt falls and crumples into a heap on the floor. “What?”

“You heard me,” he snaps, turning to look at you again. His eyes are dark, fiery. “Jesus, you—do you even fuckin’ think sometimes? You were hit. You knew you were hit, and you kept goin’. You didn’t stop, didn’t stay down like you were told.”

He steps closer, eyes boring into yours, face twisted with something too furious to be rational. “You fuckin’ chose to be a goddamn hero, huh? Run into gunfire like it ain’t a fuckin’ death sentence? That it?”

He can see the second your expression changes, your own anger rearing its ugly head now, bitter and hot. “Don’t do that. Don’t make this about me being reckless when you know I was just trying to keep people alive. I did what I had to do.”

“No!�� he snaps, pointing a finger at you, furious and stricken all at once. “What you had to do was come home. That’s it. That’s all.”

You blink at him, breath caught in your throat.

Joel can’t stop, all the emotions he’s been dealt over the past three hours finally boiling over and spilling through his lips before he can think twice about what he’s saying.

“You could’ve died,” he growls, pacing now, hands dragging through his hair roughly like he’s trying to rip the anger out of himself. “Two fuckin’ inches to the left and that bullet would’ve torn straight through your gut. You think you’d’ve made it to town in time for that? Huh?”

“That’s not fair.”

“No,” he snarls, spinning on you, voice cracking. “It’s not fuckin’ fair. Nothin’ about this is. You go out there, and I sit at home waitin’ to see if today’s the day I lose you. That the last thing I heard is your voice cuttin’ out in the middle of a fuckin’ ambush. That’s what I got to live with now. That’s what I saw every time I closed my eyes on that ride back.”

You stand there, lost for words. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“I know you didn’t,” Joel says, suddenly quieter, throat thick. He swallows hard, looking down, shaking his head like he’s trying to get a grip. “But I still almost lost you. And I don’t—fuck—I don’t know what the hell I’d do if that ever—”

His voice cuts off, ragged. Then he’s in front of you again, cupping your face with both hands. “You’re not allowed to do that to me again,” he whispers fiercely. “You’re not allowed to scare me like that.”

“Joel…” You lean into him, slow. Cautious.

Joel meets you halfway.

His mouth is on yours in a heartbeat—hot and bruising and pathetically desperate. His big hands frame your face, thumbs dragging down your cheekbones as he licks a wet stripe over the plush seam of your lips.

You gasp into his mouth when he pushes the blanket off your shoulders, when his palms skate down your sides to grip your hips hard. Not too rough, not yet, but he’s holding you because he needs you rooted. Anchored. Here.

Joel kisses you like he’s still furious at you, like he hates how much he needs you, like he’s punishing you for making him feel so afraid. It’s not soft, all teeth and tongue as he devours you, stealing the breath from your lungs.

When he pulls back, his mouth is wet with your spit, lips pink and swollen. “Need to taste you,” he mutters. “Need to feel you.”

Joel sinks to his knees before you can respond, breath huffing harshly against your stomach. His fingers tug your zipper down with frantic urgency, hooking his thumbs in your waistband to peel your pants down your legs in one swift motion.

There’s no teasing. No smugness. Just a heavy, sharp hunger carved into his face like stone as he pulls your panties to the side, exposing you to his greedy eyes. His hands slide under your thighs, lifting one over his shoulder as he brings his mouth to you like a man possessed.

The first drag of his tongue is slow. Reverent. Hot and wet as he parts the slick seam of your cunt with deliberate strokes that make your spine arch. He groans like your taste knocks the wind out of him, and then he latches on like he’s got a point to prove—to himself or you, he’s not sure. All he knows is that worshipping you is the only penance that could soothe the panic still clawing at his insides.

“Joel.” Your hands tangle in his hair, chin falling to your chest as you gaze down at him.

He sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue relentless, nose pressed deep against you. You whimper, twisting his hair in your grip, hips twitching—Joel doesn’t let you go anywhere. He’s got you trapped, your body pinned with his mouth buried between your thighs like he plans to die there.

It’s filthy, obscene—the way he devours you. Lips slick, beard growing damper with each swirl of his tongue, eyes half-lidded but still trained on your own.

Your eyes are glassy, pupils blown wide and black as spilled ink. There’s sweat beaded on your brow, lips parted and swollen as you let out small huffs of air.

Your thighs are trembling. You're soaked, arching against him, whimpering his name with tears welling in your eyes. And still—still—he won’t let up. He needs this. Needs to make you fall apart. Needs to prove to himself you’re alive by the way your body sings under his touch.

Joel can’t stop. Not until your thighs shake and you’re moaning that you’re gonna come, gonna come, Joel, please—

And you do. You fall apart on his tongue with a broken sob, legs clenching tight around his ears, hips grinding down into his mouth in weak twitches and shudders. He growls and holds you still, licking you through every last tremor until your body goes limp and threatens to sink to the floor.

Joel doesn’t let you fall—he lowers you down gently, like you’re made of spun glass, even as his hands skirt over the hem of your shirt. When he pulls it up, revealing the bandages wound tight around your side, he pauses. His gaze lingers on the wound. Jaw clenched. Something soft and wrecked flickers in his eyes.

Your hand comes up to cup the side of his face, your thumb running over the scar across his temple so gently it has his heart throbbing in his chest. “I’m okay,” you whisper. “Still here.”

Joel takes your wrist in his hand, lowering it down enough to press it hard over his heart. “You feel that?” he breaths. “That hasn’t stopped hammerin’ since I heard your voice cut out.”

You nod slowly. Your fingers curl into his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

Joel squeezes your wrist, turning his head to press a soft kiss to your forearm.

He climbs up over you, chest to chest—the jut of his cock where it tents the denim of his jeans grinds over the sensitive span of your cunt as he settles himself between your legs. He’s thick, heavy even through all the layers. 

Joel’s free hand snakes down his body, making quick work of his belt. He rips his zipper down, freeing his cock from the confines of his soaked boxers and letting it slap up against his stomach.

You moan at the sight of it—hard, straining, the tip a dusty red and wet with pre-come. Your legs widen unconsciously, thighs twitching on either side of Joel’s hips.

Joel takes himself in his hand, fist tight over the base of his cock as he runs himself through your puffy cunt, slicking the skin of his cock with your wetness. “Gonna fuck you,” he breathes, lining himself up between your legs. “Gonna feel you around me, baby, need it so damn bad.”

Joel slides in with one long, smooth stroke, your slick making it easy, and the groan he lets out sounds like pain. Like relief. Like he might lose his mind from the heat of you. Your breath hitches at the stretch, head lolling back against the hardwood as your nails dig into his shoulders.

“Mine,” he grits through his teeth, forehead pressed to yours, his hips grinding deeper as you cling to him. “You’re mine, baby. Always—always mine.”

You nod, panting, eyes glassy. “All yours,” you whisper. “Only yours, Joel.”

And then he moves.

Hard.

Desperate.

Unrelenting.

He fucks you like you’re the only thing tethering him to earth, like if he stops, he’ll unravel entirely. One arm hooks under your knee, pushing you open, deeper than before. His hips slap against yours, raw and hopelessly, but it’s not about getting off.

It’s about feeling you.

Every squeeze, every tremble, every gasp that leaves your mouth when he hits that perfect spot. 

Joel’s never felt like this before.

So angry.

So scared.

So in love.

He fucks you like he’s trying to imprint himself inside your body. His thrusts stitch you back to him, sealing you inside his chest so you can never leave. A mess of skin-on-skin and heat and slick as the two of you meet again and again and again.

“Could’ve lost you,” he growls against your throat. “Fuck, honey, I could’ve—Jesus—”

You wrap your arms around him. “You didn’t,” you whisper. “I’m here, Joel—I’m yours—”

He groans, hips stuttering, thrusts turning frantic. He can tell he’s close, that he’s been close since he sank to his knees in front of you.

“Say it again,” he pants, slamming into you with a low, wrecked noise. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you gasp. “Always yours—fuck, Joel—”

You wrap your arms tighter around him, pulling him closer. Your nails dig into his skin through the thin layer of his undershirt, legs locking around his waist to keep him pressed against you like you’re scared he’ll let go.

Joel doesn’t let go. He’d never let go. Not even when you moan his name like a prayer, not even when your nails rake down his back, not even when you gasp out a warning, your voice thin and needy. “Joel, I—gonna—”

“I know, baby. I got you.” His hand snakes down between you, finding your clit and rubbing quick circles over it, desperate to feel you come. “Wanna feel you. Need to—fuck—need to feel you, sweetheart. Please.”

You shatter in his arms with a broken sob, clenching hard around him as your body jerks, overwhelmed and too raw to hide it. Joel feels you pulse around his cock, the tight warmth of your cunt milking him.

It’s too much, and he’s coming with a groan that sounds like it’s been clawed from his chest. He buries himself to the hilt, hips jerking with every pulse, breath catching in your ear. “Fuck, fuck—” he pants, voice hoarse, “—love you, I love you, I thought I lost you, baby, I can’t…”

You’re both trembling when it ends.

Joel holds you there for a long time, forehead resting against yours, still buried deep inside you. He still won’t let you go. Not yet.

Eventually, when he’s calmed, he pulls back just enough to look at you.

You expect that same look from earlier—rage, fear, guilt—but it’s not there. Just love. Just deep, aching relief.

“I can’t lose you,” he says quietly. “I wouldn’t survive it.”

You reach up, trace the curve of his brow, the edge of his jaw. “You won’t have to,” you whisper.

Joel kisses you again. Softer this time. Sweeter. A delicate press of lips against lips. His fingers stroke your cheek, pulling back enough for his eyes to trace along your face. He follows the line of your brows, the shape of your nose, the soft curve of your lips.

He can’t feel anything other than love.

Gentle. Solid. Steady.

It’s only love.

mini nat's note: everyone please send good vibes for my hell sent ch*m final on monday...i literally need all the luck i can get. thank you so much for reading! mwah.

[backtothefanfiction]

Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader | Grumpy x Sunshine

Summary: Joaquin and Sam take a trip to the Stark cabin to get something fixed on Joaquin’s suit.

Warnings: fluff, grief, angst, banter

Word Count: 2.6k+

A/N: Okay so I this is based on an ask that came through my inbox. I did make a couple adjustments, but over all the bones are the same. Hope people enjoy!

Joaquin always felt awkward when Sam dragged him out to the Stark cabin for a fix on their suits. Although he had never met Tony Stark himself, the Avenger was someone everyone knew and his loss was still felt all around the world. But the Stark cabin always felt like the nucleus of that grief. More importantly, the shed out back.

"I'm gonna head in and say hey to Pepper," Sam said as they made their way side by side down the path through the woods that lead to the old hunting cabin that had been turned into the Stark's main home during the blip.

"Okay, well I'm gonna- head-" Joaquin's voice trailed off as Sam made a left and began to head up the stairs to the front door, suddenly leaving him on his own, "to- the- uh shed I guess," he muttered to himself much quieter, looking between the cabin and the shed where he knew you would be.

He hesitated at the door to the shed. He knew you'd be in there, you practically lived in there since your Dad died. He knew it was bad for you to isolate yourself the way you did, throwing yourself into continuing his work as a way to manage your grief, but he also felt like he was invading your sanctuary whenever he stopped by.

"YO, FEATHERS! YOU GONNA STAND OUT THERE ALL DAY OR YOU GONNA COME IN!" Your voice called out to him and he took that as his queue to enter.

"How did you know I was out there?" he asked as he strutted in, his eyes scanning the space as he sought you out amongst the converted lab you and your Dad had built together during the blip. The two of you hadn't been too close before then, your Mom wanting you to keep your distance from the man she had accidentally conceived a child with during a drunken one night stand in her 20s, but when she became a victim of Thanos and the blip, you had no choice but to seek refuge with him.

"Cameras," you said, lifting a tablet in the air that showed a video feed of the front door and Joaquin used it as a marker to find you amongst the mess.

"You know I don't have feathers right?" he said as he approached the bench where you were huddled over a piece of tech, a soldering iron in hand as you fused different components together.

"And you two could literally go to anyone else at Stark Industries to fix your suites and yet, here you are." you said sarcastically as you finally met his eyes.

Joaquin took one look at the dark circles under your eyes and his heart ached. He hated to see you like this. He had developed a crush on you the first time he had met you. It was a couple years ago now. He had been brought in with Sam and Bucky for the debrief with Colonel Rhodes after the incident with the flag smashers. You had stopped by to have dinner with your Father's old best friend, turning up in a red floral sun dress and denim jacket and he had instantly fallen in love- not that he'd ever had the balls to tell you.

“You haven’t been sleeping.” Joaquin stated, his voice soft, but you hated the tone of pity that accompanied it. It was coming up to the anniversary of your Father's death and your dreams had been plagued with flash backs to the battle where you had watched him lose his life.

“Well thanks Captain Obvious.” you snapped at him resentfully.

As long as he'd known you, Joaquin knew your usual jaded demeanour and hostility was due to your inability to deal with your grief over your Dad, but he also knew this extra spiciness to your tone was due to the aforementioned lack of sleep. “You know I was never actually a captain.” he said, trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't help.

“Okay, then Lieutenant Obvious. Better?” You sassed as you forcefully turned him around to get to the access panel on the back of the wings.

“Remind me again why you’ve got to do this with the suit on me.”

“It’s so you can fly away the second I’m done and stop- annoying-me,” you grunted as you popped the panel. “Uuuhgg, this is a mess. Who the hell has been fiddling with this thing?” you asked, taking in the hazard of wires and switch boards inside.

“The US governement.” Joaquin laughed.

“That sounds about right," you gritted as you took your soldering iron from before and began adjusting and readjusting wires.

As you worked, Joaquin took a moment to look around the room again. There were empty cups, mugs and plates discarded in different places as you had refuelled on the go. The sofa in the corner had a blanket haphazardly draped across it, implying that when you had been sleeping, it had been in here and not in the house with Pepper and your half sister Morgan. It broke his heart.

"Y/N-" he said your name tentatively, wanting to broach the subject and help, but also not wanting you to completely shut down and shut him out and hate him forever.

"Don't." you said, reading his mind without having to look directly at his face as you focused on your current job. "There," you sighed, "try that." you said as you closed the panel again and sat back.

Joaquin turned around, shifting in his suit, his arms lifting as he prepared to let loose the wings at his back. "NOT IN HERE MORON!" you quickly said, fear rippling through you at the thought of the nano tech wings unfolding at his back and smashing into the machinery set up around the two of you. "Take it outside."

"Uh, yeah. Right." Joaquin stuttered nervously as he realised his mistake.

You reluctantly followed him outside for his test flight and was met with the sight of your younger sister running down the steps of the cabin and over to you both. "JOAQUIN!" the young girl beamed, taking him in. She for sure had a little school girl crush on him. And to be fair, you couldn’t blame her, he was good looking, you just weren’t interested in anything right now.

"Hey Kiddo!" he said, embracing her as she ran into his arms to greet him with a hug. "Your sister's just fixed my wing up. Wanna see?"

"Yeah! Of course!" she beamed and the way she smiled made you see all of the same awe and wonder in her eyes as your Father used to have. The look sent a new wave of grief to hit you and you had to turn away from her for a moment to compose yourself. It was so quick you had hoped neither of them had noticed, but when you looked back to Joaquin, it was clear to you he had.

"Well, go on then. Get this over with so I can go back to work." you said, folding your arms across your chest as you encouraged him to let his wings free.

His eyes seemed to linger on you for a moment, trying to find a way to penetrate your armour before he finally conceded. There was a click and a rippling schwing of metal as his wings unfurled seamlessly at his back, shorter at first, but then he pressed another button in the gloves of his suit and the nanobots shifted and extended the wings down to make them larger.

"Oooooooh," Morgan cooed in wonder as she took them in.

"Come on then feathers, you gonna fly or what?" you encouraged him. He sighed in your direction, but ultimately activated his helmet and thrusters and dramatically blasted off from the floor at such a force you and Morgan had to steady yourselves as you were hit with a blast of air.

You both watched from the ground as he began to do a sweep around the property, Morgan running down to the lakes edge to watch him closer as he dipped down to run a finger through the water as he glided above it. You stood there for another minute, watching to make sure there weren't any more problems, but when he started to show off, doing barrel rolls through the air to impress Morgan, you knew it was your cue to return to your work.

“You know, you should be a lot nicer to him,” Pepper’s voice startled you. You hadn’t noticed her when you first came in, but at the sound of her voice, you quickly found her collecting up some of your plates and mugs, ready to take them back into the cabin.

You didn’t respond to her, your body turning back to your work as you pretended like she wasn’t there. You didn’t want the lecture right now. Although she had married your Father and had technically become your step mom, not to mention she was your half sister’s actual mother, Pepper had always felt more like an Aunt to you. She had all the same maternal energy and instincts towards you, but she was more approachable like a friend.

“You know, I invited them to stay for dinner,” she said as she came up beside you. “We’re having cheeseburgers, in honour of your Dad.” she continued, trying to get any sort of reaction out of you, but you weren’t biting. “You know,” she said, after another pause, deciding to change tac, “I think he likes you.”

“What makes you say that?” you said instinctively and you instantly kicked yourself for responding, but you could feel the swell of pride coming off Pepper as she realised she had gotten you to break.

“Because I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” she said wistfully, her eyes looking out the open doorway towards the sounds of her daughter’s giggles as she played with Joaquin. “And no matter how mean you are to him, he keeps coming back.”

“Is that what happened with you and my Dad?” You asked, fishing for information about the origins of their relationship.

“Not quite. Me and your Dad were… a little more complicated. Your dad was always a lone wolf, but he,” she said, her gaze moving to the man outside again, “he’s more of a golden retriever. He may be a bit goofy and over enthusiastic at times,” she said, before turning her attention back to you, “but he’s loyal. And he knows how to have fun,” she stressed as she nudged your shoulder. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about the way you needed to take a break from your Father’s legacy and just learn to let loose again.

You went back to giving her the silent treatment as she shifted the cups and plates in her hands again and went to leave. But as she reached the door, the small voice in the back of your head (you often liked to think was actually your Father living rent free in your brain), told you she was right.

“Pepper!” you called out to stop her. “Thanks.” you said, giving her the first smile that had graced your face all week. She didn’t say anything more back, just gave you an equally fond smile of acknowledgment. After all, Pepper Potts knew she had already said everything she needed to, to finally get you back out of the shed.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Nearly two hours later, you finally made your way up to the cabin for dinner. The sound of laughter and the sizzling sounds and smell of the burgers was almost overwhelming after spending a week alone out in the shed, but you quickly shook it off. Both Sam and Joaquin turned their heads at the sound of the door, but quickly became distracted again by your sister. She was stood in the middle of the living room giving a rather animated account to them of an incident that had happened to her at school. You couldn’t help but smile at the way she captivated them as you snuck through the house to the kitchen.

“Can I help with anything?” you quietly asked.

Pepper turned and gave you a smile. You watched as her eyes scanned you. You had changed since she had left you and even taken the time to run a brush through your hair. You could tell there was something hidden in her gaze, knew she was eager to tease you over it, but she quickly dropped it, not wanting to scare you off after finally being able to coax you back in.

“I’m almost done,” she said, “the burgers will just be another minute or two. Why don’t you lay up the table, ready for everyone.”

You didn’t give her a verbal response, instead headed straight to the draw to retrieve the cutlery and placemats. “Let me help you with that.” Joaquin’s voice came from behind you. You turned your head with a start. You hadn’t even heard him follow you in.

“Uh, thanks,” you said quietly as he took the handful of cutlery from you and followed you to the dining table.

You were both silent as you began to put down the placemats, Joaquin following close behind you and laying down the cutlery. When you had finished that, he followed you back to the kitchen to help carry in the salad and condiments, which you laid out in the middle of the table so people could help themselves.

“I’m sorry- uh I mean, earlier, this afternoon. Thank you for uh,” Your voice froze. Gosh this was awful. You desperately wanted to bridge the gap you had placed between the two of you, but you didn’t know how. “I’m sorry I was a dick!” you finally blurted out.

He let out a little snicker at your outburst, but quickly schooled his features, knowing you were trying to have a serious conversation. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

“I know, it just… I know I can be a bit…”

“Hostile?” He said, filling in the word you were struggling with.

“Yeah. Hostile.” you repeated.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t mean it. It’s not easy losing a parent. It’s not easy losing anyone.” he corrected himself. “Grief makes us do odd things sometimes. Just know that you’re not alone. Okay?”

“Okay.” your repeated.

“I’m here for you. Come rain or shine. Night or day. You don’t have to do this on your own.”

“I know,” you sighed, your head hanging, almost in shame. “I’ve just… never really been that good at asking for…”

“Help?”

“Yeah,” you sighed.

“Look,” he said, and you watched at he reached into his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a bit of paper with his number on it. You hated to think how long he’d had it sat in there just waiting for the right moment to give it to you. “This is my number. Call me whenever.”

You took it from him and couldn’t help the small smile that danced on your lips as your fingers played with the piece of paper you had been handed. “Even in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep?” you asked him, both earnestly, but with a hint of suggestiveness you hoped he’d pick up on.

He was silent a moment as he analysed you. Wanting to check and make sure you had meant to imply what you had. When he realised you had, he hung his head in an attempt to hide the blush in his cheeks and the shit eating grin that adorned his face. “Yeah,” he sighed, finally looking back up across the table at you, an entirely new kind of tension between you now, “especially then,” he said and you knew that was one offer of help you were never going to turn down.

[indigoatari]

My header is sky and ur pfp is sky. Like two parts of a whole. this is yuri

lesbians love having the same thought twice