#support your local harbinger of doom

[flyingclubhouse]

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1193010257/block-print-sew-on-patch-support-your

The new patches are in my shop.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has a history of harsh anti-gay language from his time as an attorney for a socially conservative legal group in the mid-2000s.

In editorials that ran in his local Shreveport, Louisiana, paper, The Times, Johnson called homosexuality a “inherently unnatural” and “dangerous lifestyle” that would lead to legalized pedophilia and possibly even destroy “the entire democratic system.”

And, in another editorial, he wrote, “Your race, creed, and sex are what you are, while homosexuality and cross-dressing are things you do,” he wrote. “This is a free country, but we don’t give special protections for every person’s bizarre choices.”

At the time, Johnson was an attorney and spokesman for Alliance Defense Fund, known today as Alliance Defending Freedom, where he also authored his opposition to the Supreme Court ruling in Lawrence v. Texas – which overturned state laws that criminalized homosexual activity between consenting adults.

ADF wrote an amicus brief in the case which supported maintaining criminalization.

“States have many legitimate grounds to proscribe same-sex deviate sexual intercourse,” Johnson wrote in a July 2003 op-ed, calling it a public health concern.

“By closing these bedroom doors, they have opened a Pandora’s box,” he added.

Now, Johnson is the Speaker of the House at a time when a majority of Americans are strongly supportive of gay rights.

In the House Republican Conference’s voting for their speaker nominee, Tom Emmer, who initially beat out Johnson, came under fire from conservatives for voting to codify same-sex marriage in 2022.

Johnson, according to Punchbowl News, reportedly made an issue of Emmer’s vote. Johnson voted against the bill. In 2022, Johnson also introduced a bill that some describe as a national version of what critics have called Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

In the mid-2000s, Johnson’s anti-gay rhetoric was harsh. In September 2004, Johnson wrote in support of a Louisiana amendment banning same-sex marriage saying it could lead to people marrying their pets.

“Homosexual relationships are inherently unnatural and, the studies clearly show, are ultimately harmful and costly for everyone,” he wrote. “Society cannot give its stamp of approval to such a dangerous lifestyle. If we change marriage for this tiny, modern minority, we will have to do it for every deviant group. Polygamists, polyamorists, pedophiles, and others will be next in line to claim equal protection. They already are. There will be no legal basis to deny a bisexual the right to marry a partner of each sex, or a person to marry his pet.”

Johnson added that allowing same-sex marriage could be the downfall of the democratic system.

“The state and its citizens have a compelling interest in preserving the integrity of the marital union by making opposite-sex marriage the exclusive form of family relationship endorsed by the government,” he wrote. “Loss of this status will de-emphasize the importance of traditional marriage to society, weaken it, and place our entire democratic system in jeopardy by eroding its foundation.”

In another 2004 column, Johnson again predicted same-sex marriage could doom America.

“If you were shocked by the moral lapses at the Super Bowl you ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” Johnson wrote. “Experts project that homosexual marriage is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy that could doom even the strongest republic.”

[the-fluff-piece]

Hi! I've been following you for a while and I love your vibe! So.. I had a request that I'm not sure if you'd accept but... Can you write something with prompet 5 law but like, a brother sister thing? Like as if the reader is like law's sister and loves him so much but like chill about it. Either way love your blog!

I talked to the requesting person about details and turns out it should a brother instead of a sister, so don't be confused why reader is male! Also, I want everyone to be fucking proud of me I didn't give reader the name order so that they call themselves law and order, it was hard but I managed to keep it down

This is part of the now closed Follower milestone event

Here's

The mystery of the wailing in whale wood

(Say that ten times really fast, I dare you)

Law and his crew live un whale Wood for a short while before moving on. Everything is fine and he is healing, but at night, the crew and the minks hear a terrible, spooky wailing - is it the white banshee of Zhou???

Brother detective duo shenanigans with a heartwarming ending about friendship (now play the scooby doo music in your head)

Sleep. Law loved sleeping. After the stressful and draining time on the sunny, he felt comfortable to be back with the people he had known for years. He lay in his bunk and stared holes into the bottom of the bed above him - y/n had been always been his bunk buddy, it was a comforting routine. Now sleep. Quiet, relaxing slee-

"Captain, the banshee is back!" Penguin barged in.

Sigh.

Law rose once again to deal with this nuisance.

"Y/n! Get up, we are going to solve this problem!" Law said as he knocked on the upper bunk bed to wake his brother.

You

Law had gotten it in his head to investigate the wailing banshee. It was annoying and no one has been hurt, yet, but Law just was like that. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he had a good heart.

You got up from your comfy bed and jumped down, slipping into your coat as Law got into his. Penguin was a bit shivering, he has always been very afraid of the concept of ghosts and monsters, what a pirate! Good thing you were there to support your captain. Together, you started towards the area where the supposed ghost had been heard.

On the way deeper into the woods, Law felt compelled to recite the facts once more while nervously tipping against the hilt of his sword: "So it started around the time you guys got here" - "correct!" You answer - "and it happened almost every night except the full moon?" - "exactly" - "and the locals tell us that it's an old legend that the ghost of a mink haunts these woods?" - "pretty much, harbinger of doom, announcing bad things to come. After what they have been through not good for morale" you concluded Law's thought. "We should do something, quick" He answered and the both of you made your way to into the woods once again.

"We both know this is not supernatural, right?" Law asked, once again. He tended to use you as a sparring partner for his thoughts, bombarding you with his musings over and over.

"Right" you answered. "There must be tracks, and we are going to find them. Eventually."

You and Law put your heads together. His grumpy eyes stare into yours as you inform each other in short words about the plan - it's always the same plan, night after night.

"We spread out and try to find a clue, we keep in touch with portable den-den mushi. As soon as any of us finds it" Law said, "- we give the signal." You ended. Law nodded. He moved much faster than you and could teleport himself all over the place thanks to his powers, but he was pretty useless in finding small clues and tracking, so it was on you to find the next lead and you both knew it.

Without a further word you two spread out to the sound of distant howling. The wailing "ghost" had a high pitched voice, that was surprisingly loud and carried almost through the whole woods. It sounded like it was lamenting something, but you couldn't make out words. You had already searched in different areas - sooner or later you would find something that would.lead to the true culprit.

You moved slowly, searching for clues on the forest floor. The daily flood the elephant caused didn't make your job much easier, you could only find fresh tracks. As you combed the forest floor, the blue flickering of Law's power reassured you of his presence nearby.

As you crouch led along the soft earth, something white catched your eye - a small tuft of white hair hanging on a tree. The ghost was described as white, finally! You examined the hair - no, fur? white and pretty short, it reminded you of a certain someone. As your eyes searched the forest floor, you began to consider a new possibility.

A scream ripped you out of your thoughts. Law!

You run towards your brother who was staring in horror - at a beetle. You knew that he didn't like nature, but it still baffled you how a man with so much power and resolve was scared of small insects.

"The beetle won't hurt you" You informed him while carefully taking the hand-sized animal out of his sight, setting it down beneath a thick Bush.

Law swallowed audibly and sayd "I know" while blushing in shame. If you weren't in an investigation, you would tease him a bit more. Later.

For now, you were leaving it at that and picked up your last trail, waving for Law to follow you. Just as you thought, big prints could be seen on the ground. This would become interesting.

"I found something, look!" You pointed to the trail. Law nodded, still flustered. He didn't see shit but didn't want to admit it.

Together, you silently moved through the dark forest, slowly approaching the ungodly sounds coming from the darkness, until finally, you could make out words the high pitched voice was screeching: "you can see the new genesis beyond the world..."

"What does it mean?" Law asked seriously as you crept closer to not alert the ghost.

"I think I know..." You told him.

A white figure shined in the moonlight. It was big and round and seemed to be dancing.

You heard it's distressing voice, like nails on a board: "Let's go! New wooorld!" It howled.

Dumbfounded and absolutely unable to process what you two were seeing, you just stood there.

Bepo was dancing in a small clearing in the woods, wearing his pink Uta merchandise shirt, holding a twig in his paw like a microfine and sung, as you now realised. Or rather, tried to sing. Hypnotized, both of you watched his fluffy behind dance around as he shook his rear to the beat.

"The new genesis is this fut-" He froze. In slow motion, his head turned towards his new audience and reveales a pink blush across his face and that he adorned his fur with glitter.

"Ahhhhhyaaaahhhhhhyyyyyyy!" He screamed so loud and highly pitched that your ears threaten to shut down.

"Nooooo it was supposed to be a surprise!" He laments as he unsuccessfully tried to cover up the scene and keep secret whatever was happening.

After all hearts had recovered from the mutual shock, the three of you sat down on the soft forest floor and tried to make sense of this.

Law was already blushing and working hard to keep it together in the face of Bepos cuteness, but his voice was strong as he asked: "Bepo, why are haunting the woods at night?"

"I never meant to scare people! I swear! I never even heard of the story! I just went with it because I needed my privacy to...to..."

"TO?" You and Law asked in unison.

"To practice singing so I could sing for Law now that he is back!" The confession broke out of the white polar bear as he nervously fumbled with his paws.

"Sing...for Law?" You ask as you and your brother looked at each other, puzzled.

"Since he has been so strong fighting a warlord of the sea and all...and now everything here is in ruins...and I thought..." He seemed to realise that his idea didn't make sense to anyone outside of his head and his face turned sad.

You knew your brother, he was fond of his friends and supported them whenever he could. As you looked over, you already saw a soft smile spread across his face.

"I really liked your singing at night" Law stated grumpily and looked away.

"Please continue!" He said.

You knew that he was really touched by his friends idea, even though he was not so much into Uta's songs as the bear. It counted that his friend wanted to make him feel appreciated. You loved your brother very much, and it was awesome to see him form strong and deep connections, even after all you had lost and had to endure.

With a beaming, round bearface, Bepo got into position and coughed. While tapping his foot for rhythm, he started singing in a loud, high voice one of Uta's popular songs. He was no singer by any means, but you could hear his passion in every note. Plus, this waa one of the rare occasions that makes your brother smile, so it was worth it to sit there through the whole night, listening to Bepo's performance together.

When it got late and Bepo's voice sore, you decided to go back to catch some sleep.

"Just tell no one it was me, OK?" Bepo asked of you two before returning.

"I didn't want to scare them..."He looked guilty.

"I will tell them the truth." Law says to a shocked Bepo. "That something absolutely unbelievable and magical happened here tonight" He sayd he waves at you to walk at his side back to camp.

[rockofeye]

Are we still hanging in there? Are we taking deep breaths, drinking water, and not spending every minute doom scrolling and refreshing vote counts? It seems like there might be some hope of regime change, but we can't know that for certain until every vote is counted. It's not over.

We are seeing clearly what many folks have been seeing and saying for years: the United States is so invested in white supremacy that half the population that voted has clearly voted for fascism, for the continued oppression, imprisonment, and murder of Black and Brown folks, for the destruction of Indigenous communities, for the denial of abortion access and contraception rights, for the imprisonment of children and the forced sterilization of immigrant and refugee women, for denial of basic social supports in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, for police brutality and extrajudicial killings, and for the general debasement of anyone who is not a middle class white man or woman. More people have voted for this than voted for this in 2016. It has gotten worse.

Let this radicalize you. If you have not already been putting in energy to address the growth of fascism and all its harbingers of doom, let this be the moment when your eyes are peeled open and it becomes clear that our lives are only saved when we seek to save the lives of others. If you thought this election was a fluke, now is the time to really look at the fact that our families, neighbors, coworkers, and friends may be fascist sympathizers and are perfectly fine the floor being wiped with the rest of us. No matter the outcome, there is evil in our midst.

If Biden wins, it is an opportunity to continue to demand systemic change. There is a moment to catch our collective breath because Biden is not welcoming American Nazis for meet and greets, but he is an Imperialist and must be held accountable to the responsibilities of the office.

If the current regime remains, it is past time to break the cogs of the social machine and refuse to comply with the chess moves of a fascist state. It is not that we will watch the state fail under fascism, but we that we must push it off the cliff. It will be hard. It will suck. Not all of us will make it to the finish line, but we must make every attempt to carry our siblings with us.

But, for the moment, we breath. We remain watchful and we demand that every vote cast is accounted for. We look for how we can support the challenges coming for local races (the Graham-Harrison race is likely going to court, and Harrison will need monetary support), and we do not let the process be sidelined. We remain faithful people, which means we engage in whatever spiritual practice we have and entreat our ancestors, our spirits, or whomever we address in prayer to protect us and those more vulnerable than us and to give us the strength and resolve to do what must be done. This is when we (re)learn that prayer is a verb.

This weekend as I head into a socially distanced ceremony broadcast to those who seek the healing it can bring, I will be praying for us; those who seek an equitable future where the yoke of white supremacy has been broken. May those prayers be welcomed and may the justice of those spirits who see far longer and deeper than us be made manifest by our actions.

[wittypenguin]

The Birds (1963)

Alfred Hitchcock’s next film was also ‘horror.’

While there’s no music credit, Bernard Hermann gets credit as ‘sound consultant.’ This film is the same as Rear Window, in that all the sound is within the reality of the movie, or “diegetic.”

On my version of disc, the image is super sharp for this film! Mr Hitchcock hated doing location shooting, and in a studio he could just pour light all over everything, thus giving him the solid depth of field he wanted. I wonder if they even bothered using a focus-puller, or if they just followed the photo-journalist’s rule of “f8 and be there;” basically meaning as long as you’re in the right geographic location, set your aperture to f8, and just about everything from infinity to about 10 feet from you will be in focus, but your shutter speed won’t be so slow that much of the scene will be blurred.

There is no way today that you could accomplish the set-up of this movie. The heroine gets someone at the newspaper her family owns (with help from the Department of Motor Vehicles) to look up the name and address of someone based on their licence plate. Then she goes to drop off a surprise gift at that person’s apartment door (there doesn’t seem to be anything to stop her getting into the building). The person’s neighbour across the hall informs the lady that the man she’s looking for is at Bodega Bay until Monday, that he is always at Bodega Bay on the week-ends, and he himself is also about to go out of town. The lady then drives up the coast to Bodega Bay where the owner of a local store points out exactly which house the man lives in and provides directions to the house by road. He then arranges for a boat to take the lady to the house by water, as she wants to ‘surprise’ the family. The shop owner also tells the lady the exact number of people who live at the house, identifying all of them by name, except for the young girl who lives there, but provides the woman with directions to the school teacher’s house so that she can ask the teacher what the name of the girl is. NO ONE EVER ASKS THIS WOMAN WHO SHE IS!!! “Hi, I’m a crazed serial killer looking for someone, could you help me in every way imaginable?”

Once she motors across the bay, she gets out of a boat that is only tied to a dock at its stern, she’s carrying both a purse and a medium-sized bird cage, AND SHE IS WEARING HEELS! Not only is she being super-stalky, apparently she is also a trained acrobat.

The restaurant near the marina has about four cases of Canadian Club lining the shelves behind the counter. Not much else, except some vodka I think. Odd.

This film has possibly the very first gore of Mr Hitchcock’s output. The morning after the bird attack, someone is discovered in a physical state which is unlike anything I remember him having in a film before. It’s surprisingly gruesome, and the fact that we see it, yet other corpses later are shielded from us, is an odd choice.

We also end up supporting ‘correlation may equal causation’ in some people’s mind, driven by hysteria into the notion that our heroine is a harbinger of doom. This is one of the most realistic aspects of the story, as people in the middle of a scenario such as this are prone to make this sort of illogical leap of thought.

Mr Hitchcock really has done a wonderful job with adding suspense to horror, making the idea of people simply walking along a road so anxiety-inducing.

I can imagine Aston Martin using this film as part of an ad campaign: The Aston Martin DB2/4 Coupé: drive your loved ones to safety when attacked by flocks of marauding birds!! With a DB2/4, even YOU have WINGS!

This film, coming on the heels of Psycho, plus his long-running TV series, cemented Mr Hitchcock’s reputation as a director of horror films. He really was capable of so much more — and did so — but this film and Psycho are the ones people remember him for.

★★★★☆

[prorevenge]

My kid does 13K in damage to studio equip, we handle it like lunatics.

[Part 1]

Some background:

I'm an audio engineer and score arranger full time in my self-owned business. It's how I provide for myself, my fiancée (also CF), and my mother. I record, mix, and master for bands, voice-overs for local commercials, and write music for people's weddings, college films, indie games, etc.. It was my passion since I was a child and every day I ask myself why I get paid to do what I do.

You know, until today.

I had a woman schedule to come in because she wanted me to record her monologue for an acting class. I thought it was going to be easy enough. I set up a mic and a music stand in the sound booth and got my workstation prepped for tracking. She was supposed to show up at 3:30, so when 4:00 came around, I called her to ask her if she was still coming. It was my last contract for the day and I was wanting to get home to my fiancée, dogs, and dinner.

"Oh, sorry sweetie, I'm going to be there soon. I just had to get my son from ex-boyfriend."

Uh oh.

4:12, she showed up with her child.

To preface, I've never really wanted kids, and don't really hate them either. But I've been childfree of mind for a decade now in league of several bad child experiences in public.

Anyway, I sat her down at the conference table and tried to talk to her about the contract and billing, etc., and just couldn't because of the six-years-old pile of ovary droppings next to her.

"Mommy it's cold in here." "Mommy, I'm bored." "Mommy, that guy has girl hair." "Mommy, I want to play on the phone."

The incessant whining went on for the entirety of the discussion. She did nothing about it. I had an ache in my stomach that this might be a rough session.

I was right.

I showed her to the sound booth, positioned the mic at face level, told her the basics of mic use, and then she floored me with a question.

"Can my son stay in there with you while I do this?" I insisted that he wait in the conference room (across the hall from the control room) because the control room wasn't a very kid-friendly place considering the 120K of equipment at arms reach.

"But he's a little angel."

I shouldn't have taken her word for it. I SHOULD NOT have taken her word for it. This kid was ANYTHING but. I let him in, told him to sit in one of the office chairs and don't touch anything. Needless to say, he touched. I queued the recording arm and signaled her to start. She got three lines into her take before I hear a deafening screech and crash.

That little shit machine had just knocked over a $4,000 Korg into a rack with $9,500 of equipment. Completely shattered the touchscreen on the Korg, busted the dials off of half of the effects, and totaled my distressor that I use for almost all the vocals I track.

All of this, by the way, was the room's length apart from where I told the crotch goblin to stay.

The kid, because of the loud noise, started full-lung screaming. Not crying. Not yelling. Screaming.

The mother, with no hesitation, ran over to the control room and DEMANDED to know what I did to her child. She cussed at me and accused me of hurting her little snot monster. Threatened to sue and even swung at me. When I told her that her precious angel had just racked up at least twelve grand of damages, she said "good", spit on me, then stormed out, slamming every door on the way. So I pulled the security camera footage and had filed a police report. Grand total: $13,504.25. I also mailed her the bill for her session for good measure.

Of six years in the studio, this is my only truly terrible experience. Fuck mombies. Fuck having children. Thanks for making my vasectomy decision that much easier on me.

[Part 2]

I'm going to start off and say that this community is bad ass. With legal advice, moral support, and inquiry of the trade, you guys/gals/other have made this whole endeavor a bit easier on me.

Cheers.

Okay, since Sunday, I've managed to speak with my insurance company, my lawyer, some repair techs, the police (again), and my urologist. For the sake of good storytelling, I'll organize this chronically.

Monday:

I left a message for my insurance agent about all this. I then called some repair techs about getting my Korg and the distressor repaired to potential working order, and to no avail. The distressor would have costed two grand to repair (on a $1,320 piece), so I wait on my insurance payout to replace it. Korg, apparently, has no replacement parts available anywhere in the US for their flagship keyboard, so another $4k down the drain. The dials on the rest of the effects rack can be easily fixed. May not look as stellar, but what can you do. At least it survived an attack from an over-metastasized cumshot. I ordered replacement dials from my local electronics store and mailed out the session bill to Mombie. Beyond that, I got in touch with a friend in Memphis who was gracious enough to lend me his Portico 5042 in the meantime. Should be arriving some time Friday.

Tuesday:

Boy oh boy. I went to my lawyer's office to see what could be done about Mombie's actions. He's thinking it'd just be best to let the insurance company go after the property damages, and that it'd be too expensive for me to recruit him for what the insurance company will do by themselves. As per the assaults are concerned, he asked me to gather all evidence (Video, contract, police report) and said that since no bodily harm was caused, it'd be the best idea to go to civil court rather than criminal, and file for a protective order. The words "emotional damages" were emphasized. He was very specific about not posting any of the evidence. As long as what I post remains vague, doesn't mention any identifying information, it doesn't stand in court.

"Make sure you can say it is a made up story if asked."

We also discussed revising my contract, more info on that when we get to it. Beyond that, I decided to jump the gun and inquire about a vasectomy. I have an appointment with my GP on the 7th of March.

Wednesday:

Reader beware, this is where it gets cringy. I'd grab a stiff drink if I were you. I opened the studio back up and got back to work. I had a voicemail left for me on the studio phone. A "lawyer", toting the most deep fried country accent I've heard, called me from a "Ford & Handcock" law firm (which I couldn't find anywhere on the internet) threatening "Immediate sueing" for "Sexual rape harassment" for filing a police report against his "client."

Here's the transcript of what I could understand through his dumpster fire of an accent: (I swear I'm not making this up) "Yeah, this is [withheld] from Ford & Handcock callin' to tell you that you're gonna get immediate sueing for what you did to my girlfri- client and her baby boy. Y'all know as well as I do that [unintelligible noises] was nothin' short of sexual rape harassment and that you're goin' ta be in a lawsuit if you don't delete the cop report you made up(?)."

I couldn't breathe, I was laughing too hard.

Once I regained my composure, I called back to inquire about this impending doom that I was promised by this product-of-incest harbinger. The call was forwarded to their voicemail inbox, where it opened up with the aforementioned accent, saying:

"Hey, this is [different name than the "lawyer"] and [mombie's name] and we're not here right now so if you could leave..."

So on.

So I just hung up and called my fiancee, emailed her the voicemail and asked her to listen to it, just to hear her sniffling and cackling like a maniac at the sound of this guy's six-inches-deep-in-cousin accent and overall misunderstanding of the american law system. I recorded the voicemail onto a thumbstick and giving it to my lawyer along with the video, police report, etc..

Thursday:

As of this morning, no call back from my insurance adjuster, so I'm just going to wait on that. I'm sitting by the phone, so if I get another call from "Ford & Handcock", I can deliver the "Do not call back/stop harassing me" line, so I can add that to the list of potential charges if it becomes a thing. Not very much else happened beyond that, and I'll keep you lot updated. Thanks for your support. *Edited to fix a phone auto-correct, what was supposed to say "Ford & Handcock" said "Ford & Hitchcock". Sorry all.

[Part 3]

There has been a... development with the mombie, dr /professor/lawyer/part time absent-father from Ford and Handcock.

I said in the update I posted before (Links at the bottom) that I had a call from a "lawyer" from one "Ford and Handcock", and am practically on standby for another call from said "lawyer".

Well, that call came on Friday.

So, guy called back, my fiancee was in the studio with me while we were taking turns playing Dishonored 2 on a "workstation" pc doing very important adult-like studio work, and his message for me was practically a carbon copy of the last one. I gave him the "Do not call back/stop harassing me" bit, to which he said

"That law don't apply to me. I'm a laawwyyeerr. I can do whatever the hell I need to do to do the law, even if it takes lethal deadly force" [sic]

Given the threat, I called the police, filed a report, gave them the original recording of the call and kept a copy for myself.

My wife-to-be did notice that the inbred gave the pseudonym "Conrad McMasters", which she recognized from the TV show "Matlock". Go figure.

So, skipping on to tonight.

We came back to the studio to pick up a laptop for my mum to use while in the hospital (just a minor fall injury, she'll make a full recovery), and noticed that the handle on the exterior door had been jerked loose. So, I told Fiancee to get back into the car and park down the street, have 911 dialed, don't come out until the all clear, call the police if she heard gunshots. I drew my handgun and looked around the place.

I didn't find anything, but the windows and outside door were damaged with what seemed like an attempted break-in, and a "Cash Express" post-it-note stuck to the stoop that said "U fucked up".

Shout out to U/VanillaG6790 (hope I'm formatting this correctly) for suggesting that I put cameras outside the studio alongside the interior ones. I only have one installed as of yet (DIY), facing the front door. So, I made sure nobody was around, waved Fiancee back to the studio, we got in, locked up, and backed up the security footage to see what we could find.

Lo and Behold, Mombie's car. A man (maybe the singletoothed re-imagining of Mr. McMasters from before?) yanked on the outside door with the veracity of a chimpanzee in the prime of mating season, walked out of frame (in the direction of the aforementioned windows) and stayed out of frame for about fifteen minutes, before returning just to scribble on the note and stick it on the stoop. He then saw the camera, shot the biggest 'O SHIT' face, and scurried back to his methmobile and sped off.

So to recap, we have a clear-view copy of:

His license plate

His attempted breaking-and-entering

His face. The pez-dispenser looking motherfucker practically spiked the lens for five seconds.

Police were called for this too. Details will be submitted post-trial, and I'll contact my lawyer first thing in the morning.

I tried doing it just now, but, DUH, it's Sunday, his office is closed.

Anyway, you guys are awesome. The advice I'm getting from you lot is saving me so much grief. I'm contacting the Bar association to tell them about the actions of Dr./Professor/Matlock-Impersonator/absent-father.

By the way, Meeting with GP (and then hopefully my urologist) next Tuesday in attempts at getting snipped.

Oh, and I've gotten most of the dials my equipment repaired, I ordered another KRONOS, another distressor, and got the Portico 5042 on Friday as a temporary stand-in. I have to give it to the Portico. Not bad. Not bad at all.

I'll keep you all updated as things happen, but I'm not sure when it may be. I'll post a micro-update on how the appointment goes on the 7th.

(source) (story by deleted)

[epicmeetsfail]

Unknown Pleasures: a fully phlegmatic rifle https://ift.tt/2TnIRnz

It is the season for what the hell is going on out there? Do I plant my garden now? Are we going back to normal late-winter murderfrost or what? Lord, we’re all doomed. If I didn’t have a cold I’d have no tether to normality at all.

Unknown Pleasures is, you may be aware, our round up of the best indie games on Steam that, more often than not, hardly anyone is talking about. It’s a bit good, you know. There are loads of solid indie games these days languishing in obscurity. Support your local bedroom dev and try out this week’s siftings.

Harbingering the end times but trying not to think about it this week: questing meeces, quad-jumping ball bouncers, and jazzy shootouts. (more…)

March 01, 2019 at 12:34PM

[flyingclubhouse]

After a long hiatus, I've reopened my shop and started making linoprint patches again. This batch will be listed in a few days after it's dried and trimmed.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/FlyingClubhouseArt

[tessatechaitea]

Black Lightning: Cold Dead Hands #1

I'm genuinely surprised DC didn't fuck up the title and call it "Black Lightening."

Is Black Lightning insulting news weathermen?

I'm not entirely sure what calling yourselves The Weathermen has to do with your mental development being stalled at obvious (and whether or not that actually means anything). Is it because Black Lightning thinks weathermen just stick their hand out of the window and report on what they felt as if nobody else in the local area can do that? So when they say, "It's raining," Black Lightning goes, "Duh! Why did I need you to tell me that!" But they also forecast the weather and that's not obvious to the general layperson, Mr. Lightning! I mean, sure, they're not always right. But when they say storms are expected in three days when it's completely sunny, I wouldn't characterize that as obvious! Maybe I'm just rushing to judgment based on one bad one-liner from Black Lightning. I mean, it's entirely possible that I just don't get the reference. Was there a young adult book recently called The Weathermen about a group of people who were super obvious? Oh! That gives me an idea how this moment could have been improved. The gang could have called themselves The Young Adult Novels because then the mental development being stalled at obvious crack would have made sense! What Young Adult novel in the last ten years hasn't been about a young person who sees through the lie of society and winds up being super special and unique? During the battle, the police watch the criminals blast a hunk of the casino's side off the building so that it will plummet to the ground, endangering everybody standing around filming the incident with their phones. Black Lightning diverts the sign using an "electromagnetic thing" so that the sign falls on a SWAT van instead of on people. The police react appropriately for a comic book (and maybe real life too?):

I didn't know politely and reasonably explaining reality to an enraged police officer with his gun in your face allows you to simply walk away safely. Has anybody actually tried this?!¹

The man behind the Weathermen is Tobias Whale. Not the weird Tobias Whale from DC Universe Presents Black Lightning and Blue Devil. That was his nephew and he's dead now. This is the real Tobias Whale who is really into the whale theme. He has a picture of whales on his office wall, he kills his sister with a model whaling ship, and he has assistants named Queequeg and Pequod. I bet I know what he calls his penis.

Apparently there's a race war happening in the DC Universe.²

Black Lightning's first appearance in town in years is heroic. He helps stop some criminals from hurting people. But as soon as he arrives, the bad guys change their tactics from robbing places to getting back at the superhero. So once again, lazy writing proves that the city would be better off without Black Lightning having come back. Because at least if Black Lightning didn't show, the danger would be over until the next robbery. Now the criminals have come right back out to challenge him or they're going to hurt innocent civilians. I'm beginning to think superheroes should all be more like The Punisher. If you're known for murdering the fuck out of a criminal, the criminals are going to be less likely to call you out. Although being comic books, even that line of reasoning can be flushed down the toilet. I'm sure there are plenty of Punisher stories where the criminal syndicates are all, "Big money for the person who bags The Punisher!" Then war erupts all over New York and thousands of people die but The Punisher isn't one of them. In the end, he kills all of the bad guys who were out to kill him and the reader is supposed to enjoy that ending while ignoring how many innocent people died during a conflict that wouldn't have happened if The Punisher didn't exist.

And there it is! Instead of being an inspiration to the people of the city, the hero is written as a pariah and a harbinger of doom.³

Black Lightning arrives on the scene to help out the cops and to come out of the closet.

I mark the boundary of my loss of innocence as the day I suddenly couldn't stop giggling at the phrase "back door."

Black Lightning takes down the criminals easily but then Tobias Whale's assistant, Miss Pequod, zaps them to death so it looks like he electrocuted them. Everybody believes it immediately and now Black Lightning is on the run. I hope next issue introduces a cigar chomping news editor who wants Black Lightning taken down while also demanding photographs of him in action for the paper. Black Lightning: Cold Dead Hands #1 Rating: As for the quality of the writing on a technical level, it wasn't bad. But as a comic book that decided it didn't mind using all of the dumb comic book tropes where the good guy winds up being wanted by the non-powered good guys, it also wasn't bad. I mean that if I had to rate it on using those tropes, I'd have to say, "9 out of 10 Stars! It used all the terrible tropes!" But I don't actually mean it that way, do I? I was beginning to have a little hope for this series until that moment when Black Lightning was framed. Why the fuck do comic book creators think the best way to tell a superhero story is to have all the regular good people against the super powered good person? So dumb. ______________________________________________________________ ¹Do not actually try this! Unless you're a white male. And then you don't even have to be polite or reasonable! ²Unless it's a war between good looking people and dumpy, average people. ³I think I have Crisis on Infinite Earths on my brain.

[flyingclubhouse]

Only 2 patches from this white linen batch left.

[flyingclubhouse]

I made some sew-on patches for my shop. Support your local harbinger of doom.