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Cowboy Killers

Pairing: Cowboy!Joel x Reader
Summary: On a mission to find—and fight—your best friend’s lying, cheating boyfriend at the bar, you end up throwing your drink in the wrong face and landing in a sticky situation with Joel Miller, who never plays fair.
Warnings: 18+. Drunk-Assholes-to-Enemies-to-Lovers. Oral (m!receiving). Road head. Age gap. Daddy kink.
Note: My favorite sub-genre of country music is ‘I’m Gonna Fucking Kill My Husband,’ and I think Miranda Lambert’s ‘Gunpowder & Lead’ is a perfect representation of that.
Word count: 4.1k
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and—
“I’m about to lay this motherfucker out,” you announced.
Across the line, your friend laughed.
“Yeah? You see him?”
Of course you saw him. Who else would be wearing a Carhartt flannel and jeans in ninety-four degree heat? Not a soul in this world but your friend’s own lying, piece of shit, hopefully-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend, you guessed.
The game that Old Fuckstick Miller had decided to play tonight was a dangerous one—he was dumb as shit, and you were drunker than a skunk. He was dating your best friend, and she was not present at the Tipsy Bison to see the barefaced clusterfuck taking place before you now.
She was home, over thirty minutes away. He had told her that morning he would be working late, and not to wait up. You were here, at the bar, approaching one A.M. with a Redbull Vodka clenched in either fist and a Texas-sized frown on your face, seeing the very same man with his hands all over a woman that wasn’t your friend. You’d wanted to puke as soon as you saw them. You knew you could never trust a man who claimed to be an Austin native and couldn’t name a single George Strait song.
Your friend had only been dating the guy for a month, and you’d just seen his face in pictures up until now, but from what you could see less than twenty feet in front of you—slightly blurred from all the drinks you’d had—this guy was him. A dick. There, cheating on your best friend.
And no man would get to do that and walk out unscathed if you had anything to say about it.
Your grip tightened on either one of your fizzy drinks and, barely managing to cradle the phone between your head and your shoulder, you gestured over to another friend.
“Dave. Take it,” you said, words slurring a little.
Dave York cocked an eyebrow but said nothing as you passed him one of your RBVs and shimmied off the barstool. By the time he was able to pose his question, your ass, your phone, and your one remaining drink were already wobbling the other way. Vaguely, you heard him:
“Where ya headed, hon?”
You turned and raised your drink, then seriously doubted he would be able to hear you over the blare of the music, but yelled back anyway, ‘I’M GONNA KILL SOMEONE!’
The age-old pro-forgiveness aphorism continued to thump in your brain as you made your way over and began to contemplate every feasible method of murder.
A gun in the face would’ve been too simple—and besides, you’d never owned or shot a firearm in your life.
Poison could be fun, but from the way you were approaching the man now, you seriously doubted he’d ever let you get within a mile of his drink. You nudged the phone closer to your ear and took a sip from your own.
“Closing in,” you told your friend simply.
She’d already given you the go-ahead to execute the confrontation and beat his ass any way you pleased after the fact. Now it wasn’t so much a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’ you’d finally get to encroach on this little loved up scene at the other end of the bar. The man had had his back turned to you, and the stunning redhead hanging off his neck, likewise, had no idea what was coming. You smiled.
“Promise you won’t go to jail this time?” your friend said.
“Will you bail me out again if I do?” Your grin got bigger.
“Well, duh.”
“Good deal. I’ll be the shitfaced inmate with ‘Fuck Men’ tattooed on her forehead. Wait for Travis County to call.”
“I love you, psycho.”
“Love you more.”
You ended the call.
And you were fully ready to end this man’s life when you saw him lean in to kiss the woman’s neck—that was sick.
You weren’t thinking straight. You weren’t seeing straight
You yelled out, ‘He-e-e-ey, honey!’ without blinking.
The couple turned.
As soon as the man had done a full 180, you flung your drink in his face and made sure the cup struck his nose.
“You cheatin’ FUCK!”
He flinched, sprayed by your vodka-infused energy juice.
The music overhead was loud, but not so deafening as to prevent the bar from hearing your shriek. From the front of the room, a band was playing ‘Gunpowder & Lead,’ and you couldn’t help but feel the song had been fate.
“What the f—” the adulterer started, evidently stunned.
You knocked the Shiner Bock out of his hand and spat:
“Working late, are we?!”
And spilled another patron’s beer reeling back.
“Got a little caught up on the way home?”
Gesturing toward the green-eyed beauty to his left. At first, the girl fixed her stare on you as if you’d sprouted another head, but then, by turns, she was tilting it to him.
“You have a girlfriend?” she hissed.
Cheater McFuckstick was wiping his beard with his hand
Shaking his head.
“Hell no, I ain’t never—”
“LIAR!”
Channeling your inner Representative Wilson circa 2009, you let your mouth fall open and stared at the big, burly man like the Congressman had once done to President Obama all those years ago. The semi-stranger in front of you was far less composed than his political counterpart.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” he snapped.
You felt your cheeks heat up.
“Is she your girlfriend?” would-be mistress said, shrill.
“NO!” you and been-knew asshole yelled together.
You saw the man’s nostrils flare, and at the same time, the woman beside him departed. Quickly. A few people around you cleared the way, while others still stared, gawked, and murmured amongst themselves. The Miranda Lambert cover band continued on without a hitch, though you could tell there had been a stir in the crowd. They probably thought the worst of it was over.
They thought wrong.
“You’re a dick,” you seethed, unrelenting.
You almost expected the man to turn and leave.
You thought wrong.
“You’re a cunt.”
And the man chucked a stray whiskey sour in your face.
The $15 spirits splattered on your skin like the meanest insult of all. His aim was better. Though he didn’t let go of the cup, as you had with him, he did make sure to coat the whole of your twisted look with the liquor, and once it landed, he had had the nerve to do something else, too.
He brought the glass to his lips then drank what was left.
“How’s it feel?” he sneered.
You stood in wet, sticky silence for half a second; arguably, you’d earned that cocktail to the face.
On the other hand, who the fuck did he think he was?
You grabbed a random can of Keystone Light and flung it at his chest to give him a hint—and catch him off-guard.
“You’re a bitch, Tommy Miller!”
“Wh—”
“Maria’s my best friend, you absolute f—”
“What—”
“—and you cheated on her for what? All so she—”
“What did you just call me?!”
“A BITCH!”
“No, the NAME!”
“TOMMY MILLER!”
“I’M JOEL!”
Oh.
Oh.
You and Joel were shortly escorted out of the bar.
Joel’s name, and a trace of bourbon, were still fresh on your tongue when you found yourself stranded in the middle of the Tipsy Bison parking lot two minutes later. You leaned into a car beside you and held your stomach.
“Someone drop you on the head as a baby?” Joel barked.
Presently, for you, the world was tilting sideways, and your head was throbbing at a nauseating tempo.
“Go around slingin’ drinks at any old man you—”
Green. Green must’ve been the color of your face as you braced your hands on your knees and assumed a stance as if to scream at the ground. Rather than expecting any noise to ring out, though, you had only to squeeze your eyes shut and hold onto a hunch for something much less pleasant. And viscous.
Reeking mostly of Red Bull and regret, if you had to guess.
Joel took a big step back, and then he took another.
“Da-a-adgummit, girl, what the—”
He turned away just in time to miss the sight of you emptying your guts on the ground, but not quite fast enough to be spared the sounds of you retching. They were loud. Joel Miller was known to be a largely imperturbable force around these parts, but even he was made to feel queasy hearing that. Out of habit, he clapped his hand to his own gut and stumbled off. He stared at the bar, then at his car, then at the gravel crushed under his feet for what felt like the longest time. Then his gaze lingered to his lower half, and he thought:
‘Please, please don’t gimme no daughters. Please.’
He was forty-five. The time for making babies and raising daughters to be anything like a woman of your ilk was probably long past him. All the same, he kept his gaze on his crotch and sighed. Balls, you better not betray me.
When he heard the crunch of rocks, he turned around.
“HEY!”
Oh, no. No. Not tonight.
You were staggering to your car, keys in hand.
“Hey!” Joel called again, jogging after you.
It seemed the second shout had done him no more favors than the first. You were fumbling to get the key inside the door, and you looked as determined as ever.
Over your shoulder, you tossed back, careless:
“You ain’t the boss of me, Tommy Miller.”
You got the key to turn. You opened the door. You were just about to climb inside what looked to Joel to be the ugliest Dodge Ram pickup he’d seen in his life, when he grabbed your arm.
“It’s Joel,” he growled. Pinching your elbow tight as he tugged it back, “And you ain’t driving anywhere tonight.”
Somewhere in front of him, tilted away from his line of vision, you must’ve been grinning, because the next thing he heard from you was the scoff of a laugh.
“Oh yeah?”
Joel flipped you around to face him.
“Yeah,” he snapped.
Feeling a bit like a kid for mimicking your tone.
What were you, twenty-two? Twenty-three? You couldn’t have been a patron of a place like Tipsy Bison for very long, or else he would’ve recognized you tonight.
Then again, you struck him as the type to have had a fake ID since you were fifteen, so he really couldn’t know.
“I’m twenny-wuh-un,” you slurred up at him, exaggerated, once he’d made you step down from the running board and onto the ground. Answering his last unspoken question with the same, sleepy grin as before. Then lifting one of your hands to wag a finger in his face, “I can drink legal anywhere I want to in this country.”
“Not there,” Joel nodded to the interstate.
You looked to where he’d gestured and whistled. Standing and staring, like he had done to his crotch.
“Well fuck me-e!” you said next, dragging out the sound a childish amount, “You the law or somethin’, Mr. Joel?”
“Ain’t no cop.” Joel rolled his eyes.
You kept smiling. Then you turned on your heels.
And instead of trying to climb back into your truck, you sauntered off—in what direction, Joel couldn’t tell. You were more so bumbling about, turning in circles like the world’s most scantily-clad, semi-intoxicated ballerina. And then you stopped. You put your hands on your hips.
“‘Cause I’m the law,” you resumed in a slow, deliberate drawl. The twang you used was mostly feigned, “And you cain’t beat the law. Don’t nobody get away with that, not even a bunch’a Alabama smart alecks, believe you me.”
Joel didn’t know what the fuck you were talking about. The man was Texas born and bred, and you knew it.
He communicated as much by pinning you with a wide, bewildered stare, and something in that seemed to amuse. You stared back, making your eyes bug out too.
“It’s a quote from a movie,” you said, after a beat, “You’ve never seen Fried Green Tomatoes before?”
Joel couldn’t say that he had.
Joel reckoned there was a lot more than just movies he didn’t share in common with you. Miss Twenty-One. Barely a year past the age he’d been when he’d moved out of the house and tried to make a living on his own.
This woman, this girl he saw twirling out in front of him now probably couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel if he’d asked you to. Joel shook his head and moved his feet, frown etching deep.
“Alright, princess. Up.”
You didn’t seem to understand, until he’d lifted you. Up.
You were thrown over his shoulder and carried to a truck much nicer than yours in less than fifteen seconds or so.
“Stinks in here,” you said as soon as he’d set you down.
Then, sniffing the air—and grinning:
“Aw, hell, Miller…you smoke?”
Joel wished he’d said no.
Wished he’d rolled his eyes and told you to pipe down, stop asking him questions. It would’ve made the drive a whole lot easier, and more peaceful. Nowhere near as painful, either, if he were being perfectly honest—the strain in his jeans had already gotten to be more than he could bear, and all you’d asked for was a pack of smokes.
“They call ‘em Cowboy Killers,” you said, matter-of-fact.
“I know what they’re called,” Joel grumbled in reply. Flicking the radio on and hoping to find a tune that would drown out the too-lovely, cloying voice you’d assumed as soon as you thought you might win a cigarette off of him. More chatty now than ever.
And for one, blissful moment, Toby Keith had you beat. The calm was fleeting. As soon as ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ started to drift through the car’s old speakers, you reached across and turned the knob to the left.
“Gross,” you muttered.
“What?”
“Got a light?”
“Blow me.”
Joel’s harsh, clipped tone was deliberate. The way he’d made himself mean—meaner than he’d been around a woman in a long, long time—was a choice. He couldn’t let your faux sweetness win him now. Not after you’d thrown two drinks in his face, mocked his truck, and foreclosed any possibility of getting laid by way of all your publicized infidelity philippics and shit-talking. Giving in to your charms from where you sat in the passenger seat now would only sink him further in his own esteem. Simply put, Joel’s ego couldn’t take it.
“Okie doke,” you said presently. Shrugging.
“Now keep your—HEY!”
Joel nearly swerved his truck off the road and into a ditch. Your deft little hands had slipped into his lap—and started palming his crotch through the denim.
He’d just managed to right the vehicle before jerking a look your way, staring at your hand, then your face:
“What the fuck was that?!”
“You said ‘blow me,’ Joel!” you huffed, and you seriously appeared as distraught as he was, “Sorry for listening!”
Joel grit his teeth with all the force of a cold steel trap.
“You’re fuckin’ nuts.” He gripped the wheel even tighter.
“I’m aware.”
“Where the hell do you live, anyway?”
You told him.
Your hand slipped down to the seat beside him.
And just as Joel let out what felt like the tiniest sigh of relief—he knew where that was, and the address sounded vaguely familiar—he yelped again. This time, he managed to keep control of his truck, but it was hard.
Your fingers had returned, and they were kneading the bulge under his jeans. Joel flushed from head to toe.
He didn’t have so much as half a mind to make you stop. He didn’t want to see you slink back over to your side of the car. But you were twenty-one, and he was forty-five. And you were both under the influence to some degree. And he was driving, for fuck’s sake. Shit like that only worked in dreams—not on a highway in a town like this.
He turned the radio dial to 75. At length, he heard it loud:
‘WHO’S YOUR DADDY? WHO’S YOUR BA-A-A-ABY?’
He saw you cringe.
“C’mon, Joel,” you groaned, “That’s…yuck.”
The fingers of the one hand kept digging, rubbing, but the other reached out and turned the music down again.
Joel shifted in his seat, feeling the pleasure start to bloom from the pit of his stomach, but not wanting to let you off that easy. Briefly, he looked from the road to you.
“What? You got a problem with Toby Keith?”
“I got a problem with anyone sayin’ ‘daddy’ like that.”
You unzipped his fly. Popped the button of his jeans from underneath the soft shelf of belly hanging over it, and held him, finally. You could only cup his erection through his boxers at that point, but the friction was enough to send a shiver through the whole of the old man’s body. He hadn’t been touched like that by a hand that wasn’t his own in…he couldn’t remember how long. He sighed.
“That why you’ve got your hand down the pants of a man old enough to be your father?” Joel quipped.
He couldn’t help it.
Your hand only gripped him tighter. From the passenger seat, you’d leaned over and started crawling. Scowling.
Your knees swiftly planted themselves on the old, upholstered cushion of the bucket seat, and you slipped a touch beneath the waistband of his underwear. With a hand that was smooth and soft and eager to please, you wrapped your fingers around that base and leaned in.
“You sound like you want me to say it,” you whispered.
Under your hand, he pulsed. His gaze stayed on the road.
“Don’t make no difference to me, sweet pea,” he said, and was amazed how even he was able to keep his tone:
“But those ‘Cowboy Killers’ you wanted…”
Your fingers curled tighter. Your head sank lower.
“…they don’t come cheap, y’know.”
Oh, you knew. He saw a smile snag at the corners of your lips as you brought them to his lap, and he had to force himself to look at the road again. It was empty and dark.
The tarmac stretched out for days. The fields rolling past warned sternly, ‘Don’t let her win,’ and something more in between each tree seemed to invite deliberation—remembrance, maybe. Joel was far too focused on the feel of your mouth to give the woods a second thought.
You’d worked the first inch between your lips in a slick, obscene sort of kiss; you made room for just the head and then toyed with a bead of precum leaking out of his slit. You licked it, squeezed the shaft in your hand, and hummed while the first real moan rumbled through him.
Joel turned to putty with just that flick of your tongue. He didn’t have to see your face to know he was losing.
On the wheel, his grip grew tighter, and he choked out:
“Ain’t your fuckin’ lollypop, kid.”
Then, dropping one hand to push down on your head—make you take him to the back of your throat in one go.
“Daddy wants you to suck him like a big girl, hear?”
At the base of his cock, he felt you gag. From the bottom of his heart, Joel knew there was no sound sweeter than that. He ran his fingers over your skull and tapped gently.
“If you want those smokes,” he told you—and really, with all the warmth and moisture of your mouth enveloping him now, he’d had to try to sound rougher than he was, “You’re gonna do what daddy says and suck him right.”
You gagged again, then squeezed his denim-clad leg with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his member.
Joel yanked you by your hair and made you look up.
Your cheeks were already smeared with spit and tears. Much to his surprise, he found your eyes alight and soft.
Suffused with desire, too, from what he could see.
“Yes, daddy.” You grinned up at him.
Joel knew if he let your gaze stay on his a second longer now he’d either crash his car, blow his load, or fall in love—and he simply refused to let you succeed on any of those fronts, so he shoved your face back down.
You sucked him obediently. Greedily. Mouth growing more pliant and wet by the second, as if your jaw and salivary glands had contrived to get him as close to release as possible, as quickly as they were able.
Joel took a left onto a road he had only a dim recognition as being connected to yours, and he got that feeling again. You were bobbing your head, taking him further, flattening your tongue along the bottom of his member when his pleasure swelled inside him. At the same time, he felt a sense of dread. His hands were shaking on the wheel. He didn’t dare steal a look down to the sweet, soaked, perfect little mouth sucking him dry, because he knew that feeling would only strike twice as hard. He had to cum, or make you stop, or bring his truck to a halt.
As it was, he felt five tiny crescents sink into his thigh as you gripped him tighter, and a noise bubbled up in your mouth. Your breathing went shallow, and your lips stretched wide—you were trying, and succeeding, in deep-throating his thick, throbbing, much-too-old-for-a-girl-her-age member down close to your windpipe, and Joel could feel it. He hit his blinker, not thinking, and saw a sign that marked your street. Trepidation hit him again.
Fully, this time, in a feeling that was more like terror.
He didn’t have another second to question it, either. By the time he had the old, lone farmhouse in his sights and his heart nearly halfway up his throat with fear, your own throat pulsed, and opened the last two inches to him in. Your nose found their home in the rough, grey, wiry hairs at the base of his belly, having swallowed him whole, and Joel quickly sensed the start of what he knew too well.
He came down your throat in one, two, three, four, five long spurts, and didn’t let his foot off the gas even once.
He saw your house, approaching closer now, and paled.
No fucking way.
You’d wanted to skip the whole way up your drive.
Spit still drying on your cheeks, cum resting comfortably in your belly, and a smile as bright as the sun on your face as you waved to the F-150 pulling off toward the road, you’d never felt more alive—or smug—in your life.
“Is your dad…Lucien Flores?” Joel had asked no more than a second after his dick slipped out of your mouth.
“The one and only.”
Somehow, his face got even paler. His jaw visibly clenched, and his palm hit the top of the wheel. Hard.
It was then that you’d learned your father had hired Joel Miller on as a full-time ranch hand sometime last week.
He’d remembered the address, vaguely, but didn’t connect the dots until he’d pulled up in front of your house and damn near punctured your windpipe with his pulsing dick from how fast he’d jumped up—and cum.
His spend had almost shot through your nose with the force of it, but you didn’t mind. Once he’d revealed the wild, gory, and admittedly hilarious details of his newfound employment, you were too busy laughing your ass off to care if he’d torn your throat in two with his dick.
“So you really are a cowboy, then,” you’d said, giggling.
Joel had scowled. Rolled his eyes. Practically turned the color of a tomato when you leaned in and kissed him.
Now you were waving to him from your front door.
Joel’s truck was slow to go. The taste of him was fresh.
And there, weighing light in your back pocket while you said goodbye was a brand new pack of Marlboro Reds.
2:21 AM
You were safely in bed. You checked your phone.
Aside from fourteen missed calls, you saw:
1:09 AM – Maria
DUDE
1:09 AM
TOMMY JUST CAME HOME
1:09 AM
THAT’S NOT HIM AT THE BAR
1:13 AM
IT’S JUST JOEL!! HIS BROTHER!!!
1:13 AM
ABORT ABORT ABORT
1:42 AM
DAVE SAID YOU BEAT JOEL UP???? CALL ME
1:54 AM – Dave York
Ur gonna fuck that old dude aren’t u
#‘HIS FIST IS BIG BUT MY GUN’S BIGGER’#‘HE’LL FIND OUT WHEN I PULL THE TRIGGER’#ms. lambert was INSANE for that#supporting women’s rights and wrongs all day long in this fic#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel tlou#the last of us fic
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To all the amazing artist, mutuals and followers who have inspired me-thank you. Your creativity and passion gave me the courage to finally share my art. After many years of self doubt I finally found myself wrapped in so much kindness and support. I’m endlessly grateful for this community and the light that you all bring. Here’s to creating more! Here are some doodles of some of my inspirations and mutuals. ❤️
@melled42 @aychama @the-artist-grimm @jellynotbees @7squidgy7 @farmersfieldwolf @ane-doodles
#cotl lamb#cult of the lamb#cultofthelamb#drawing#lambert#artists on tumblr#cult of the lamb narinder#cult of the lamb lamb#lamb fanart#lamb#cotl au#cotl#cotl fanart#cult#grateful#love#support#fanart
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again with the witcher, featuring Geralt and Lambert interacting + a young Vesemir because I can't stand whoever tf that chad looking NOTW mfer is
#my art#artists on tumblr#artist support#digital artist#art#the witcher#the witcher 3#the witcher fanart#the witcher netflix#the witcher 3: wild hunt#wild hunt#geralt of rivia#geralt#lambert#vesemir#wiedźmin#wiedzmin#kaer morons
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AHHHH I LOVE YOUR LAMB DESIGN SO MUCH, THERE HAIR LOOKS SO SOFT LIKE A CLOUD. I WANT TO STYLE THERE HAIR WITH FLOWERS AND BEADS SO BADLY!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GLAD THE FLUFFINESS SUFFICES !!!!! HERE YOU GO
#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl lambert#cult of the lamb lambert#art#ask#this would be one of the first few times lamb starts to open themselves up to#anyone other than nari tbh#and they realize friends wouldnt be so bad#good job#thank you so much for the support#ur awesome
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Okay fine,
Here, have a kiss
#cotl#narilamb#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb#narinder x lamb#lamb x narinder#cotl narilamb#cult of the lamb lamb#lambert#cotl lamb#cult of the lamb fandom#cult of the lamb crowns#cult of the lamb fanart#crown is supportive ally#my art#bishop narinder#Narinder#Queen’s art
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Been sitting on this for a minute but finally I can reveal it! A HUGE NEW PRINT IS AVAILABLE! The Ire of The Mothman will first be available this weekend at Nightmare Weekend in Chicago, IL from Friday, May 2nd through Sunday, May 4th, after which point it will be available on my website, INPRNT, and Teepublic as quantities allow!
If you're in the area and like horror, swing by and say hello! I'll also be selling my bug themed pieces, and opening up On-The-Spot commissions for Cult of Lamb Followers!
Want to see your character there, hand drawn by me? Come on by! I'll be bringing my colored pencils this time so I can draw your follower form right on the spot! We've also stocked Lamb and Goat Keychains alongside the very popular stickers, so come down and grab one while we still have them in stock!


And of course, in addition to my bug prints (including Cicada Invasion), bug STICKERS are now available!
Our table is A11 in the Artist Alley nearby the Celebrity Signing lines!
We're looking forward to seeing you there! Stop by and say hi!
#convention artist#artist alley#support small artists#small artist#support small business#nightmare weekend#horror#cicada#mantis#preying mantis#mothman#cockroach#bee#artists on tumblr#cotl lamb#cotl goat#cotl#cult of the lamb lambert#cult of the lamb fanart#cult of the goat#cult of lamb#lamb#goat#sticker#art prints#keychains#stickers#small business#praying mantis#the mothman
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"Don't." He already started it. "I don't wanna hear it. I'm perfectly fine but I need a moment to myself, that is all."
Matthias had wondered how Adrestia would treat him after the trip to Gautier. "Are you angry or sad. That's all I need to know." Wide eyes and...well the injuries made it a bit difficult to tell but...he'd been tested to his limits."
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[ Say 'Fromage'! ]
he comes bearing two glasses of mulled wine and a tired grin. the night is closing out, but he still has things he wants to get done---namely, commemorate the night somehow with his good pal lambert.
hearing about the artifex-box that can freeze a moment in time, morion decides that is a perfect thing to choose and grabs some supplies (read: mulled wine and that's it) before going to the man himself.
"c'mon, lambert. let's go get our portrait taken!"
"Of course! Wait Morion, I am going to fall-"
"-Morion?! Morion why do you ha- is this lipstick?!"
#toaball2024#[support] morion#[with mun permission...old man yaoi]#[no lambert doesnt remeber giving morion a makeover]
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Saleos' Proposal
I see Saleos as the kind of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve; if he truly feels strongly about someone, he'll go for them but is too shy to even kiss their hand.
From Lambert's point of view, they thought being in a relationship was completely out of the cards for them; that they would just run this cult in the name of the red crown solo forever.
So to have someone come up to them and essentially say 'I want you if you'll have me', a choice for love, it surprised them and truly meant the world to Lambert.
#cult of the lamb#cotl follower#cotl saleos#i feel like most followers at a glance see Lambert as a confident capable individual#whereas what Saleos saw was a lonely little lamb in need of support#saleos#lambert#comic#honest hearts au
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Just random school pen sketches
#small artist#redisign#small creator#lazy#fanart#lazy art#cult of the lamb#colt#cotl lamb#lambert#humanized version#headcanon#pls support
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thinking abt felix being protective of areadbhar and feeling entirely normal about it actually
#deertalking#feposting#few3h#ITS SO. LIKE THE WAY HES DEPICTED IN THIS GAME DRIVES ME CRAZY#like i haven’t thought this through i don’t have a point here exactly#i’m just thinking abt the screencaps here from the king awakens & him giving ingrid glenn’s spur & his support w mercedes & the cat#where mercie points out the cat likes him & he goes ‘well i can’t keep it. It’s practically a kitten what if it has parents that miss it’#not to even mention wildflowers for the future!!!!#like. ROLLS ON THE GROUND#it’s abt ‘i’m not immune to emotions you know’ it’s about it’s about#it’s abt how he feels like his emotions were disregarded since childhood (esp after duscur) so he pushed away the#sentimentality because he’s seen where it got his friends (revenge quests & death wishes)#but he can’t help but follow his friends down those paths anyway because he loves them so much!!!!!!!#like him acknowledging the spear’s importance to dimitri bc it’s all that’s left of lambert but ALSO#in that moment it’s all FELIX has left of DIMITRI. ykwim#like felix babygirl my beloved y do u think it makes u sick to see areadbhar in the enemy’s possession……..#he is just so hypocritical i adore him. he might be the character of all time to me#bro is trying so hard to b a lone wolf but was NOT built for that he was built to be loved and cherished by his friends#and so he shall be. thank you#um anyway idk what my point here was. i just like thinking abt how much felix loves everybody#someday i will make a coherent felix post. today is not that day#dmlxposting#dimilix#yknow what yeah.
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@egittae sent:
It wasn’t always that Lambert got to see Marni, much less actually talk to her. The girl seemed quite adamant in not coming to class and always seemed busy in one way or another despite the professor’s pleas, but in the end he wouldn’t force anyone to attend his lessons. After all it wasn’t as if the Ashen Wolves were an actual class with an actual academic program- it was just their group and nothing more.
However, he had to admit that he often thought about her. All abyssinians had their reasons as to why they chose to hide from the world and that definitely included Marni, but the professor could only wonder how a girl so young ended up like that. He wouldn’t pry, but he did, genuinely, want to reach out. Or try to.
This was his best chance, at least. “Good to see you, Marni. Your performance in the game was quite impressive, you did extremely well!” Even if they were from another team, he did have to admit that seeing Marni and Lyon in the top positions brought a smile to his face. “Even if we belong to rival teams- and even if you refuse to come to class…in the end I still view you as my student. And as a result, your victories and your progress bring me much joy.”
“Great job, Marni. I am proud of you for being able to come this far into the games.”
With blond hair and light blue eyes, a casual observer might look between the two of them and imagine some sort of kinship. Father and daughter. Uncle and niece. Maybe even distant cousins with a generation gap between them.
Ironically, that same passing resemblance is the very reason Marni feels like she's on pins and needles every time he talks to her.
His appearance dredges up unpleasant feelings that she'd rather tamp down. No, rather than feelings, what she wants to tamp down are memories. Memories of useless brothers and a mother who only ever held her hand once, all blond haired and blue eyed.
(Her other family was better precisely because they didn't look like her at all.)
"'Come this far'? What, did you think I was some pathetic little weakling?" Marni furrows her brow and rests her hands on her hips. Is this guy looking down on her? Like she's some loser? "Of course I made it this far! It's because I'm stronger than everyone else that no one can even touch me! I won both last week and this week, so I'm totally gonna win next week, too!"
What happened the first week was only a fluke! If that stupid dragon hadn't been there, she would've swept that game without even breaking a sweat. It was bad luck, that's all.
...If it had just been anyone else.
Marni shakes her head, sending her ringlets bouncing, "Keep piling on the praise, but you're still not getting me to go to class! I'm not taking classes from someone worse at games than me!"
#toahappyland2024#egittae#🎀 ic#🎀 support: lambert#//sorry sir on the “blond haired/blue eyed” and “is a man” debuff wombo combo
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“There you are. As soon as we reached the town, you disappeared! So quick on your feet, both you and Professor Byleth.” With amusement in his voice, Lambert approached the archer and gently patted his back twice. “I do see that you are in good shape however, so good job out there. You did well, Andrei.”
The professor eyed him for a couple seconds, almost as if searching for something- but not quite clear on what. This was unlike the last time they truly talked, back at the archipelago after that ghastly game where Lambert was forced to wear a jester’s makeup.
“How do you truly fare, however?”
Andrei relaxes a fraction as Professor Lambert approaches, subconsciously leaning towards the older man's comforting gestures and words.
"I wasn't harmed," he says, "We were met with some dangers, but Professor Byleth handled most of the fighting. Their power was impressive, to say the least. I..."
He hesitates for a moment, brows furrowed, before the words seem to spill out, halting at times but still willingly shared. "I spoke to people. There was a man, in the cathedral, and he... sought reassurance of me. I could only tell him empty words, but somehow he had faith even despite that."
He takes the amulet out, the soft warmth of faith magic emanating from the pendant an echo of the man's piety. Faith in the goddess, or trust in the sincerity of his words...
"I did not even believe what I told him, yet he believed it still. And... and with the conditions of that city... I wonder if he'd been able to survive, after all. If his faith had been enough to save him." Somehow, Andrei doesn't think so, and the thought makes his stomach churn. Gritting his teeth, he thrusts the amulet at Lambert.
"...I don't think I should keep it," he says, "I don't— I don't want it."
It'll only ever be a reminder of his failure, he thinks.
#putting their b+ support to good use#he talks to lambert like i had him talk to edain (more casual speech and more open about his own thoughts/wants)#still a lil bit like a spooked animal but he's getting there#egittae#toaepiphany2025
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trying out a new rendering style for some toyhouse icons of my ocs tonight and im actually really happy w how they're coming out!!
#keith does art#spent 3 hours on one. 6 hours on the other#not posting fanart for once#can you tell i love them#digital art#oc: adriana lambert#oc: ashton castillo#original characters#my ocs#lubec#art#support human artists#artists on tumblr#medibang paint pro
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The return to the bunker was more chaotic than he would've been comfortable with, but alas it was time to finally redistribute their spoils. Fortunately their time at the town was fruitful, and the professor hoped their efforts would be enough to at least improve some of their allies’ condition for offense and defense.
First, this sword. “Professor Laslow, correct?” One of the Blue Lions that Lambert had spotted here and there but never actually gotten to talk with. With a quick wave, he offered the Wo Dao to the other man. “I caught wind that you are a sword user and might need a good sword, so I would like you to have this. New and sharpened, hopefully able to fulfill your needs.”
“Good luck out there, and be safe.”
The exhaustion weighing him down is more than solely physical. Too many emotions clamored for his attention in too short a time frame, leaving his chest feeling carved out and hollow.
Dwelling on the memories will only make it worse. Laslow passes out smiles like candy, doing his best to bolster downtrodden faces, even when his cheeks begin to hurt and his sincerity turns perfunctory.
A call of his name offers a good distraction; he nods at this newcomer, noting the faint familiarity but unable to place a name. "Hello there!" Laslow returns the wave, hand slowing as he spots the sword in the other man's hold.
"Oho, what's this? For moi?" Gingerly, he accepts the blade, weighing it in his hands, lightly pressing the sharpened tip into the pad of his thumb. Finally, a useful blade!
Gratitude rushes through him; he didn't realize a part of himself felt missing without a trustworthy weapon. "Thank you, my friend! I've nothing to return your gesture here; perhaps when we return to the monastery I can repay you?"
#toaepiphany2025#support: lambert#i'm in fine form today! [asks]#WOOOOOOOO LAZZY ACQUIRED A NEW SWORD#LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!#thank u mr. lambert :)
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you can take the diver out of the bots, but you can't take the bot out of the diver
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