#sure he does have his moments but the assholery is not something I can forgive because that is a horrible trait to have in a love interest

[emily-mooon]

Emily of New Moon deserves to have its own Anne with an E. It would work so well too considering the fact that the books are very dark and it would do a good job of expanding the characters, particularly my boy Teddy Kent because he was done dirty in the show from the 90s.

[evakuality]

Mia, episode two

1.  Finally, it looks like we’re getting some alone time with Mia.  I’m not 100% sure what’s going on in this scene, but I guess Mia must have pulled Kiki’s name out of the secret santa?  And Mia has forgotten to get her something?  It’s interesting to see the thought she put into looking for something for Kiki, and how she has enough empathy and consideration to not give over the book on eating.  We’ve seen a huge amount of how worried Mia is about Kiki and her eating habits, so I can see why it was tempting to give over the book.  One of the things I have found difficult about Mia so far is that she is very opinionated and very firm in pushing those opinions onto others.  It feels like she’s even more like this than Noora was (though it’s been a very long time since I watched Noora’s season for the one and only time so she may have been just as bad), so it’s good to see that she can step outside those opinions and think about how others may perceive something.  Still, a printed card is not a good alternative.

2.  This gift sharing scene is absolutely gorgeous.  The colours here are so pretty, and all the girls look wonderful!!  It’s all so warm and has a glorious sort of glow about it.  Oh but how awkward that Kiki was so thoughtful to Mia and Mia... wasn’t.  Poor Kiki’s face when she sees it :(  

3.  Hanna’s father is still being critical?  Bleh.  I guess some things never change.  And Mia tries to step in and help, but it makes it worse in some way?  Like, it feels like he’s basically saying ‘why can’t you stop being you and start being this other girl?’ which I’m sure feeds into a whole lot of Hanna’s insecurities.  No wonder she was still down on herself, lost and confused, in s3.  Also me in this scene: ‘please just go away, Alex’ - I really don’t like him.  I’m still not sure why she’s messaging with him, or why she has his number saved separately in her phone.  Then she’s all ‘stop harrassing me’ as if that rings true at all.  Mia, if you really wanted him to stop messaging etc, you’d have blocked him and wouldn’t interact.  This already looks like a charade, and I hate where I know it’s going :(

4.  Totally unrelated to the content of this clip, but I cannot stand the sound of people eating, so listening to Mia crunch on her food is excruciating.  I’m hoping this is a very short clip!   Ohhh yikes, Mia’s parents are also pretty awful in an ignorant and unintentionally offensive way.  But it’s very nice to see Mia defending Hanna - I stand by my suggestion that she quite likes her.  I don’t think it was any mistake that Hanna was the one she chose to kiss to put Alex off.  ‘Why do all our conversations have to end like this?’ Well, probably because you’re ignorant and unintentionally offensive and when you’re called out for it, you get defensive rather than trying to understand what’s being said.  It was nice to end with Hans, though.  Even though his little story is very sad.

5.  Alex gave Kiki a voucher for Christmas for breast surgery?  What a dick.  I still cannot see what this show can do to make me like this guy.  Even if she asked for the voucher in some bizarre way (that story is a bit odd), she’s a vulnerable young woman and he’s been playing with her feelings a huge amount while also still pursuing Mia.  The idea that he plays into her insecurities by doing this is ... ugh.  This is just plain gross.  ‘It’s a little bit cute, isn’t it?’ no Kiki, it isn’t.  Ouch and then Mia is trying to tell them that he’s still pressuring her into a date, and they cut her off.  And then Alex doubles down on the assholery by literally saying he’ll end things with Kiki if Mia will date him.  Once again - blackmail is not cool or sexy or sweet or whatever they’re going for here.  It’s gross and dehumanising for both girls.  Yeah, this whole situation is shitty.  I blame William.  All of this is his fault really.  The colouring etc here is also interesting - Mia is in the washed out and pale colours against pale backgrounds that we usually see with Alex.  A suggestion that she’s moving into Alex’s world maybe?  Or that she is now a washed out version of herself/compromising herself?

6.  Interesting that Mia removes the lipstick here while she’s getting ready.  My memory of Noora doing it is because William told her he liked it, rather than here where she does it because she doesn’t want to look good for Alex.  Also interesting the way it’s been framed - in the mirror but also not quite fully framed.  It reinforces that she’s not entirely ‘there’ or not entirely herself.  And then the clear and obvious way Alex is lying to Kiki.  What’s interesting is that I sort of forgive this in Matteo (he does something like this to Sara as well, after all) I guess because we’re in his PoV, but here we’re not in Alex’s PoV, we know all the background and we know that as well as being a liar and an asshole, Alex is also blackmailing Mia.  So it feels worse.  I’m not sure why Mia told Hans all this stuff, and also, she didn’t do a good job of it - her reasoning is actually fine, and he’s blackmailing her so adding that would have made the argument stronger.  As it is, she looks like a dick who’s screwing over her friend.

7.  Here we have more of these super close up shots like we did at the start of the first episode.  I’m finding it just as awkward and uncomfortable as I did then.  I don’t really know why they’re here.  If we’re genuinely supposed to be feeling uncomfortable, that doesn’t bode well for the relationship, but I can’t see why else these shots would be here.  Alex ‘are you going to be pissy the whole time?’ Yes, probably.  You’re BLACKMAILING her and treating her friend like shit as if the whole thing is a game.  What do you expect her to feel?  Why do expect her to think your ‘surprise’ is going to be good?  You have a reputation and everything she sees of you lives up to it.  Also interesting: the cool colours Mia is in with Alex compared to the girls.  The difference between the two is quite stark.  

8.  ‘What do you mean I’ve blackmailed you?’ Oh, Alex - she means exactly that you’ve blackmailed her.  Which you have.  Then he tries to justify it.  Just like William’s version of this chat, I hate this.  ‘you’re lying to your friend and blaming me’ - acting like he has no culpability in the situation.  He literally refused to respect her boundaries and stop pursuing her and he literally said that Kiki means nothing to him when he knows she’s more all-in than he is and is playing around with her insecurities.  I hate that he’s trying to make Mia feel like she’s to blame for a situation he literally created.  He had the ability to not date Kiki when he wasn’t into it.  He has the ability to stop pressuring Mia.  He has the ability to break up with Kiki if he wants Mia.  This is not her fault!!!  And just like when William said it, ‘I wanted to hurt her to make her feel less bad in the long run’ is a terrible, shitty thing to say and do, and if they do what they did with William and make it a ‘see, I was right to be mean to her to start’ I will be so angry!!  It’s not an either/or situation.  First he didn’t have to have sex with her, second he didn’t have to go out with her again.  It’s not her fault that she thinks there’s a chance - they’re pretty much dating exclusively at the moment.  None of his ‘reasonable’ excuses are actually reasonable.  

Upshot of this scene: I loathe Alex even more now than I did before.  And I freely admit a lot of this is William’s fault, but nothing that’s happened so far has made Alex any more likeable to me than William in the original.  I still think Mia should run far far far away after this conversation.  And I hate that accepting the cocoa means accepting his reasoning.  His reasoning is not a whole ‘gotcha’ that he thinks it is.  He is a completely different person to Kiki and playing with her and being mean to her was shitty.  

[ghoulishhusband]

I just realized I can actually talk here. Like this is my account fuck u

Fucking uhhhhhh, hi ig lemme ramble abt my God ocs yea?

Ignore this part if you don't wanna hear (likely) unedited rambles lol it doesn't matter

CW: neglect/abuse, assholery/narcissism, manipulation, tread lightly!

read the under cut owo

Also don't steal my art I'll fucking?? Fight you????

So

I have three main gods that I wanna talk abt especially bc they've been on my mind lately.. Less get it, side notes are in (parentheses) and are bolded cause I have perception issues whoo I don't want it to jumble together is my point lol

First up is my asshole,

Giodine

they/them (preferred)

god/godself (i like pronouns that fit my characters, so I'm giving a bunch away for one night only at--)

ID : Giodine is colored with gold-ish yellow skin and ginger hair. Their eyes are a muted purple and they have tiny eyebrows. Their lips are a muted brown and are full looking, their nose is sharp and points down. They have wings for ears and is wearing a blazer with a long-sleeved, collared shirt underneath it. The background is beige with a yellow square and a dark purple square partially encompassing it. It is signed GH (for ghoulish husband), Spork, 21.

(lemme know if that helps at all! I'm sure I can do better so lemme know!)

If they look weird here it's bc I accidentally made their face too long but believe it or not this is in fact just a doodle Ik I'm so fuckin talented babes.

Anyways, they're basically the first God to ever exist on my version of earth (though even that is fickle rn, world-building is hard unless I hyper-focus on it, and haha Guess What I Haven't Been Thinking About) and they're very egotistical and selfish. As I'll probably yap about later is how they're manipulative as well, especially to another God I'll mention, and very neglectful to the other... other one.

Their partner(professionally), or fiend as they call him, is sam who for the first few eons was, unsurprisingly, absolutely terrible to him. A few tender moments are few and far in between in what could only be described as a completely rancid relationship. I'll describe giodine's side and in sam's lil ramble, I'll describe his :]

I have to explain this because it's a big part of the lore and how they can't work together, even when one of them is very much near The Void (technical death for gods) BUT basically, with Sam, giodine created purgatory. The issue here is that they basically seduced sam into doing it. Well, even if they hadn't, sam was in lesbians(happy pride month lmao) with giodine and would've done it anyway. But the ISSUE is that with the creation of purgatory came complications. See, my gods have to take time to develop into their power, and considering giodine was first and sam was around 666th.. you see the issue. Sam wasn't into his complete power yet and thus lost a giant part of it that went into purg.

See, giodine saw no problem with this (until much later, they do get a VERY SLOW BURN redemption arc cause this ain't even the worst of it), they got what they were aching for out of them and thusly had no need for..sam. They laid him in the spot where she was made (fwi it isn't inherently sexual, it can be, but literally, they just merged together-- taking bits and pieces of each other (which sam did not have enough of) and earth and light yadda, yadda I'll post the story I wrote for that later if I'm up to it) and left him there in the grass.

Again, they saw no problem with that, the deed was done, they didn't care anymore. A common issue in their qualms, sam and Giodine. They did find an issue in Sam finding an issue in the lack of aftercare, which resorted to any message going to or coming from sam going straight to his assistant and going back through them for a couple of thousand years. They found that infuriating-- how could he not face them over something so small! and for years?! it was ridiculous. After forcing a face-to-face meeting, a heated proclaim of hurt from sam, and a bitter agreement to meet up every now and again, they got what they wanted from him. Again. It was a business after all, there was no point in making it harder than it needed to be. 

Giodine doesn't necessarily like boundaries and tends to overstep sam's frequently. They also don't like his reaction to his boundaries being long jumped over, which thusly ends up in disgruntled messages being sent back and forth between them and his assistant for a month or three. It slowly gets through to them, but they tend to say some stupid shit and if they want sam to stay, they have to try and avoid mentioning how "overly sensitive" he is to something that happened eons ago.

(quick mention, there isn't like. time. here. so in all honesty, giodine probably counted earth days instead of Heaven 'days' to get that) Soon into their arrangements to meet, they seem to get on at least tolerable terms, obviously, a few meetings where neither of them feels like going apeshit and taking proper shapeless (or in sams case, he's got a newfound form for ANGER OO just for giodine 🤗) forms isn't going to fix a grudge that has yet to be apologized for by the way. But it's a start to a very long process down the road. Tolerance.

Giodine as an entity is very fickle and rude and demanding. They tend to have a short temper that no one else is allowed to have or comment on-- They were the first therefore they were the most important!

This is very obviously an issue. But it's mostly directed to purgatory. Almost all of their seething rage is pointed towards the poor entity, she's barely been alive yet and they already seem to hate her for things she doesn't know how to do. Honestly, I don't think Purg will ever fully forgive them for the unnecessary abuse of her character, but just as Sam and Giodine get on better terms, they had barely just begun fixing the hole in their relationship. As of now, Sam/Giodine don't have any minor plot points with purgatory other than the major one so I don't have a lot to say about their relationship right now. Maybe one day.

I'd go into details, seriously, but I just wanna ramble about their relationships with each other and their impact on each other's existence. Hope you don't mind a few secrets 😉

But, now, it's time for a new God, one I think most people take a liking to...

Sam (Samuel)

He/him

ID: Sam is surrounded by clouds in the light blue, fading to a darker blue sky and the yellow sun. His horns are a darker beige, which is being highlighted by the sun shining down on him, he also has pointed ears. His skin is red which is very prominent in the sun. His eyes are completely yellow, his hair, beard and mustache are also black. He has an orange scar crawling up to his Adams apple. His wings are a darker grey which is also being highlighted by the sun. His nails are painted black and his hand is holding up the black fabric barely covering his shoulders. Around the painting is a gold and red shaded frame with swirls complimenting each side and a crystal at the bottom of it. It is lightly signed GH, for ghoulish husband.

Sam, Sam, Samuel.

If you don't realize right away, Sam is basically Satan, he's the ruler of hell

Like how giodine was the first to appear on earth, as mentioned before sam was 666th for funnie reasons. Sam was made from bugs, dried blood, and sunlight which sounds pretty gross, but he's far from it. He's a silly, yet neat, guy. He wears Hawaiian shirts and khakis (not around giodine lmao) for cryin' out loud! how bad of a person can he be? Apparently to giodine (for a while obviously) he was the most retched entity to exist. This very much hurt him considering the amount of fake care they showed him before. With a mixture of confusing feelings (which wasn't supposed to be a thing but Univerce went "lmao you'll be fine" and left... short explanation, Univerce is the Universe and is the entity who simply builds these planets and gods that'll appear there and leave them to their own devices, xyr not extremely important in this story. Nor would they care.) and feeling used, he decided that no he wasn't going to take that.

If there is one thing Sam knows how to do is to self preserve himself, even if that means getting passive-aggressive notes sent to him every once in a while. While this period, Sam was surprisingly the least productive (unfortunately giodine knew this and eventually mentioned it in one of their meetings which made him hide away cause like hell giodine was going to be critical of /him/) but he managed. It wasn't terrible, but unfortunately, Sam being able to talk it out with someone who does practically the same work as he does and gets newer, more helpful ideas was better in the long run.

Unsurprisingly, Sam was the first to initiate the healing of his and giodine's relationship but it wasn't reciprocated. Who would've figured, aye? Giodine kept pushing it back onto him and ignoring any progress that could've been made before. Which was frustrating.

The painting above was 'painted' by giodine, which is sorta where their relationship gets somewhat on an understanding of each other. Giodine gets to take a deep long look into who Sam is and tries to express it but it never fit him, it makes them realize that they never really-- truly got to know him. And all it does for Sam is make him even more confused about his place in giodine’s mind. He figured it's another fluke to get him to do something, so he ends up distancing himself when they start actually reciprocating his friendship advancements.

Suddenly, like a flash, Sam was forced to stay with giodine which is where the majority. I'll explain.

Sam...isn't actually the ruler of hell. Anymore, anyways depending on the timeline. His and purgatory's relationship has always been complicated, she always avoided him, and when they talked she always seemed scared of him. So in the end, they've never been close. Distant. Sam always wanted to talk to her, he made her, but if she didn't want to talk to him he wouldn't force it. But imagine his surprise as Purg singlehandedly took over hell in a hazed frenzy.

And not only that, had a personal vendetta against him!

Well, that would be the only explanation to Sam considering how he ended up broken and barely 'alive' at the hands of her. Horns broken and in tatters, pain and almost obliterated it felt like a hate crime. He didn't know what to do when he made it to the office, Purgatory was creating chaos outside his door and barely being able to breathe he felt like it was the end. So he called giodine. 

Purgatory

She/her

ID: Purgatory is surrounded by flowers that are dark grey and white. The light fades down into a dark green. The light shines down on top of her straight, white hair that has yellow flowers tucked into it.  Her skin is a dark brown and has a orange-ish yellow scar on her shoulder trailing up to her neck. Her skin is also highlighted by the sun. In one of her eyes, her sclera is black with an orangey, glowing iris. As for the other eye it it has a white sclera and the same, glowing orange iris. She has wings for ears, one dark grey and one white along with beige horns. She has a white fabric covering her chest. The frame is gold with white accents, but also has vines and moss crawling up the side. 

(may have goofed a bit and forgot to color the sclera of her other eye white but ignore that pls)

Purgatory was made by Sam and Giodine, but to her it felt like a mistake. Why make someone that you’re going to be terrible to, she believed. Giodine seemed to hate her and eventually made her section almost obsolete because she simply wasn’t able to keep up with the backlog that she wasn’t taught to deal with. Not only that, she didn’t have any help with any of it, it was almost like she was expected to just do it on her own. Until Death came along to help, but that’s not what we’re going to be talking about right now. 

And also, Purgatory is Purgatory yadda, yadda, I wont insult your intelligence.

Giodine’s thought process (other than wanting to be Real Close to Sam and once that thought filtered out, promptly ignored it) was that all the extras that don’t fit in either category of their thought of good and evil they’d go to her. (doesn’t matter cause in Sam's system it filters through ‘levels of assholery’ and depending on how bad you are you either just vibe in the upper city under rule of capitalism and possibly many under paying jobs or being actually tortured for his amusement if you’re just evil. Morally grey. Anyway, it could work p well in heaven if giodine wasn’t such a damn stickler.) But in the end, every day, less and less people ended up in purgatory, leaving her with barely any people and more verbal abuse from giodine who ‘HAS to take them or they would be more dead than they already are’. You see the pain she has to go through, right? 

~Idea section, this is probably not canon anyways so dont take it serious~ 

My thought is that another oc (BA, you may have heard of him idk) takes over simply because Purg took multiple hims from alternative timelines (which isn’t allowed but what’re they gonna do, undead a dead clown? multiple times from multiple timelines???)) because she adored him and they figured ‘well we gotta redo purgatory may as well do it like this’ and make him a demi-dead-god. i think thats a cool idea right? anyhoo

~Idea section over uwu~

Purgatory overall is a fairly timid character, she doesn’t like conflict, is easily overwhelmed, and generally keeps to herself. She doesn’t see the point in being in any drama if she’s just going to be yelled at and scolded even if it’s not about her. The only way i could describe her taking over hell is this: 

She was tired. She was angry and after feeling like nothing was in control or in her hands, she snapped. Why doesn’t she get anything or get to be ‘all powerful’ but they do? She knew if she took on Giodine she’d likely get thrown to the void, but sam? He felt fair game. Considering her fear of both of these gods, she planned and got her courage up to take him over. She had considered negotiations but in the end, she ended up going into a haze and ruining everything in sight. She was more powerful than she thought and once she started, she didn't stop until Death restrained her and Sam was already in pieces at God’s doorstep. 

The aftermath was fuzzy for her and for everyone really. Godine was planning a take back hell while actually worrying for sam, sam was planning for a retirement, and she was being consoled while trying to get in contact with sam to apologize. Giodine wouldn’t dare let her talk to him, until she just showed up in their office. She didn’t have a problem with Sam, honest, she just was going to take shit over, but it got out of control. 

Spoiler, Sam took her apology and they actually became.. somewhat closer after reaching an understanding. 

I wanna say that giodine took them being okay and sam retiring as good as sam did about purg running hell, but they didn’t. Giodine and purgatory actually barely got along in the first place, and only begun ‘working’ on their bitterness toward each other because they both had sam to encourage it. I can’t say for certain if they’ll get better, as theyre both undying and have time, but I’ll just say for now its uncertain. 

Also, Death is Purgatory’s girlfriend after all of that lmao.

And.. yeah, i hope this makes sense and that you like my drawings and ramblings about my lil story in my head, i guess this is my way to develop it without just keeping it to myself cause god forbid i keep things to myself hshsh. If you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read and attempting to process everything, and even if you didnt read and just looked to look at my art thank you to!!

I may post some art over on @ghoulishhusbandart cause.. it was my art account before i completely forgot about it but i might reboot it! But if you wan art NEOWWW follow me on insta (ik cringe lmaoo) by the same name as this account @ghoulishhusband​ or just click that insta link! also ignore the fact that giodine is the only one without a portrait, maybe I’ll replace it the next time i draw but im graduating on monday and my dad’s coming TOMORROW?? so i won’t have too much time to do it... but i hope you like my art anyways :]

ok!! ty!! ily!!

[raeynbowboi]

What Are My Ships 2.0

So, a while ago I did a post on my then viewpoints and opinions of ships within the BnHA/MHA fandom, and needless to say my opinions have changed since then, so this is sort of an update to the last time I did a post of this nature. Like last time, I’ll be going from my OTPs to my Favorites, Likes, BrOTPs, and then my NOTPs. However, whereas before I was mostly talking about the ships I liked, I want to expand this one to give an honest opinion on all of the ships, or at least the popular ones. Also, if I say I don’t like your ship, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you or your fellow shippers. I just don’t like the idea of those two characters together. Frankly, I wouldn’t even really say I’m an “Anti” to any ships except anything involving an adult and an under-aged character, and anything involving Mineta because fuck Mineta.

OTPs

So before I get into this one, I want to clarify the meaning of OTP as I use it. When I say my OTP, it means one of two things: Either A) This is the only person I ship with this character, and I don’t care for them being with anyone else, or B) I do like them in other ships, but nowhere near the level of this particular ship. I usually ship in accordance to the canon of the work. I look for evidence in the text itself, and I build my appreciation for relationships based on the evidence provided. Though I’m just as capable of crack shipping as anyone else, I tend to prefer the ships with a lot of canon content. Furthermore, my OTPs are usually a pairing that as far as the text itself is concerned, they don’t really seem to have any other legitimate love interest. Bakugo for example only really has shipping fodder with Kirishima. Bakudeku is more of a rivalry, and Kacchako is really stretching for something that isn’t there. Bakugo shows absolutely no interest in the girls of his class, and Bakudeku is so abusive and toxic that it’s firmly off my radar. So, since Bakugo doesn’t really like anyone other than Kirishima, as far as I’m concerned, Bakugo only has one actual love interest. The same could be said for Kirishima. The only characters other than Bakugo he has canon reasons to be shipped with are Tetsutetsu and Ashido. However, Tetsutestsu is very clearly being shipped with Kendo, and although Ashido and Kirishima are old friends, Ashido isn’t around for Kirishima’s emotional growth moments. Kiri isn’t thinking about Ashido when he reassures himself of his worth. Kiri isn’t making excuses to be around Ashido. Kirishima has little to no romantic dynamics with Ashido, they’re just two kids who went to the same middle school. So, like with Bakugo, I don’t really consider Kirishima to have any other truly viable love interests. And sure, I was using my main OTP as an example, but I apply this same logic to most ships, except for crack ships.

KIRIBAKU//BAKUSHIMA

So I just explained why I don’t ship them with other characters. But bashing other ships is not an argument, it’s just hating on other pairings. So rather than just gushing about my feelings about Kiribaku, it’s better to explain why I ship them. Kirishima and Bakugo have equal and opposite character flaws. Kirishima is a friendly character that lacks self-confidence. Bakugo is an overly confident character that isn’t very friendly. The appeal of Kiribaku is that they both grow from this relationship, which is like writing 101 when writing a good romance. The couple need to both get something out of the relationship. Kirishima is friendly enough to get Bakugo to warm up and be more of a team player, but Kirishima also has enough of a backbone to call Bakugo out when he’s being an asshole. He’s able to appreciate Bakugo for the person that he is, but he won’t allow Bakugo to mistreat him. He forces Bakugo to recognize him as an equal, and Bakugo responds by addressing him by his name. Something which is very clearly a sign of respect, as he also does this on one occasion with Uraraka during the tournament arc. Kirishima’s friendliness and determination to be close to Bakugo earned Bakugo’s trust and respect, and he rewarded Kirishima’s determination by treating him way better than he treats anyone else. Kirishima on the other hand is a character who is deeply insecure. Dying his hair red, spiking it up the way that he does, modeling himself after heroes he idolizes, Kirishima’s character is clearly someone who doesn’t have a lot of confidence or self-esteem, thus why he models his behavior after others who he views as role models. Where Kirishima would doubt himself, Bakugo is self-assured enough to put Kirishima’s mind at ease. And speaking from experience, Bakugo’s method works. Like Kirishima, I too have struggled with insecurities, and Bakugo’s ‘fuck what everybody else thinks, do it cuz you like it’ methodology actually helped me get over my own worries and doubts. I actually was able to get over my fears of self-doubt because of the things Bakugo has said. And I’m a stronger person for it, just like Kirishima.

MIRITAMA

If you’ve been following my page for a while now, you may already know that I love me the relationship dynamic I tend to refer to as Sunshine and Stormcloud. That is to say, when a happy optimistic and friendly person dates a grumpy, sad, or otherwise “dark” character. Unlike Kiribaku, these two don’t really have to fight off other suitors. If either of them is shipped with Nejire, Mirio with Midoriya, or Tamaki with Kirishima, these ships are all small fries compared to this ship. So small that they really don’t pose any threat. These two have a great dynamic, and both motivate the other to succeed. This is also just a super cute healthy supportive couple. Mirio has never once said anything about Tamaki’s anxiety. He just accepts that it’s part of him, and I would not be surprised if Mirio has helped Tamaki through panic attacks in the past. This pairing is just so wholesome and cute, I love it.

HAWKSDEAVOR

Okay, yes. Endeavor is a total trash mammal abusive dickbutt. But guess what? So was Bakugo, and now he’s won 3 popularity polls in a row. I sort of view this ship as the adult version of Kiribaku. Especially since Horikoshi has drawn some not so subtle parallels between Endeavor and Bakugo. And the overall relationship dynamics are similar. An overly-confident and proud asshole learns to care about other people through meeting and befriending a happy-go-lucky and friendlier young man who earns his respect. Now, I’m sure there are people who don’t think Endeavor deserves redemption, but I for one have always been a supporter of the “Love redeems” trope when done right. And Hawksdeavor is doing it right. Because although Endeavor has a past of abuse and general assholery, that abuse was never targeted at Hawks. This is not an abuse victim falling in love with their abuser. It is a neutral third party helping to rehabilitate an abusive asshole into a hero deserving of the title. It’s also worth confessing that I have not been a victim of abuse, so I might have an easier time forgiving Endeavor and wanting him to grow and change than someone who has been hurt by a parent or anyone else in the way Endeavor abused Shoto. And I want to make it clear, I like the ship. That doesn’t mean Endeavor is anywhere near done repenting and groveling for Shoto’s forgiveness because child abuse is a serious issue, and Endeavor does need to work for his redemption. But, I am at least willing to humor his attempts and give him the benefit of the doubt to at least let him try and repair the damage that he’s caused his family, because he’s at least putting in the effort to be better, and that’s worth at least something to me.

INATODO

I like Tododeku. I do. But I love the weird ass dynamic between these two. Plus it’s an interesting yin-yang personality difference you don’t see a lot. The monotone emotionally distant partner and the constantly screaming overly passionate partner. It’s a bit goofy, but I like it. Their quirks can also fight against each other or work together for something much stronger, which I think is a great metaphor for a couple learning to work together and being stronger as a unit.

DAVE MIGHT Okay, full disclosure, I haven’t actually seen the BnHA movie. But it’s cute as hell, and I ship it. Sadly, I don’t have much to say, since I don’t know much about their dynamic, but anything that gives the story more gay is good in my eyes.

TETSUKENDO

Yes, I have straight ship. But in all seriousness, this one is only an honorable mention OTP, not because I ship it with much enthusiasm. It just doesn’t really have any other viable competition for either member, which qualifies it as an OTP.

FAVORITES

TODODEKU

I know full well that Deku probably won’t end up with Todoroki. Despite him and Uraraka having about as much chemistry as a soggy slice of pizza, it’s pretty clear that Izuchako is the canonically viable ship. Too bad they’re boring, bland, and completely unremarkable as far as romances go. They’re cookie-cutter standard, vanilla-flavored, and and just generic. A big part of that of course is Uraraka’s complete lack of defining character traits, more on that here. At least with Todoroki, there’s more going on in their relationship. They have a more interesting dynamic for starters. On top of that, Todoroki is a three dimensional person with a fully realized personality, wants, hopes, dreams, fears, flaws, and backstory. And Uraraka is... cute. And Nice. And... nice. To quote a show from my childhood, I could stand in a puddle of Uraraka and not get my feet wet, that’s how shallow her character is. Which means that Todoroki is not only more interesting, but due to being his own character, he offers contrasting or complimentary viewpoints, life experiences, ideologies, and character traits to clash or mix with Deku’s to create a more rich and interesting narrative. The girl doesn’t even have interests. When a character is so hollow that you can’t even name more than two character traits before you start having to use synonyms, you’re not exactly creating the next Prince Zuko. And sure, I was nicer to Izuchako in my first post, but I also hadn’t yet realized how completely shallow and flat Uraraka was as a character. So yeah, Tododeku is a major step up in my own opinion.

KAMISERO

I wasn’t always the biggest fan of this ship. When the show started, I didn’t really see it. Truth be told, I still don’t really see textual evidence to support this ship, but damn if it isn’t cute. I’ll be the first to admit this is a ship I started shipping because I saw shipping fanart and thought it looked cute. I like the best friends to boyfriends idea that comes with them, and I think they’re cute together. Plus their hero costumes totally go together.

KAMIJIRO

Yes, another straight ship. See I do have them every once in a while. I can’t really say much about this ship compared to last time. I think it’s cute. Kami makes Jiro laugh. They’re in a band together. And they both strike me as laid-back types. Like they could just hang and that’d be enough for them. Like there’s a reason Jiro’s considered an honorary Bakusquad member. She’s really chill and down-to-earth, which seems like a good fit for this sparky doofus.

SHINKAMI

A lot of fans refer to them as Erasermic 2.0 and I’d say sure, with the exception that Kaminari isn’t as annoying as Present Mic. For the most part, I like their dynamic. It’s cute, and I could see it building up to something interesting. Perhaps what’s more curious is the fact that ShinDeku basically fell off the face of hte earth once this ship came around. Because I see way fewer things of Shinso x Deku than I do Shinso x Kami, so something that popular is probably popular for a good reason.

LIKES

TODOMOMO

I’m honestly only including this cuz it’s a popular ship, and apparently probably where the canon ships are heading. Too bad I didn’t even realize they were being shipped together until I literally saw a promotional thing with them together that said that this was apparently one of the biggest ships in the fandom and I didn’t get the memo, cuz I had no idea these two were a thing in fanon or canon at all. At literally no point have I ever seen anything even resembling intimacy or even genuine affection between the two. They work well together, and they’re good teammates, but as a romantic pairing they came completely out of left field. If you ship them, well good for you, but I don’t really see why. Well at least it’s not abusive or toxic and it doesn’t involve Mineta so you do you.

MOMOJIRO

I won’t lie, as a gay man, lesbian ships tend to go right past my radar. The only times I’ve ever gotten really invested in shipping lesbian characters was when there was heavy canon backing to support the ships. But without canon support, I don’t really go looking for it. And frankly, I don’t see it with this or any lesbian pairing in this series.  There’s no romantic spark as far as I can see. But I guess at least within fanon, I see this ship a lot and it’s fine. It works. Lesbians deserve representation too, so I get it. People look for themselves in media. I don’t judge on that front. I mean, a big part of my disinterest is that the girls are secondary characters. I think Hagakure gets two lines per arc. But for me personally, I’m just not really invested in the lesbian ships of this series. But of the lesbian pairings that are even a little bit viable, Momojiro i guess is at the top. MomoKendo is the only pairing I’ve come close to actually shipping, but it’s pretty clear who Kendo is going to end up with.

HATSUMIIDA

I like Hatsume. I think she’s a fun character. I wish they’d use her more because she actually has a personality. And it’s actually enjoyable to be around. But these two are basically just a couple because Iida has gone from Deku’s best friend to background student ever since the stain arc ended. Honestly, this ship is more of a comedic duo. the Comically Serious with the Comically Wacky. And it’s fine.

TSUKOYAMI

Bascially the same thing I said last time. They’re cute, they’re two smart cookies, and they work well together. They haven’t really done anything new together in a while, so it’s a pretty dormant ship right now.

ERASERMIC

The ship is fine, I just don’t particularly like it. It works, but it’s not really something I actively ship. Mostly I just don’t like Present Mic, I think he’s annoying and his tiny mustache is unattractive. I don’t really have a problem with this ship. I don’t particularly care for it either. It exists. I’m okay with its existence.

IZUCHAKO

Okay, I know I bashed this ship pretty hard in my discussion of Tododeku but that doens’t mean i hate it. It means I’m frustrated with it. It has the potential to be good, but it settles for bland mediocrity. There’s nothing here in this boy meets girl will they won’t they main boy must date main girl cishet ship that hasn’t been done to death by a thousand other shows. It’s boring. And yeah, most of that fault lies with Uraraka not being a real person. And before Izuchako shippers get all defensive, honestly answer me this: Name one of Uraraka’s hobbies. Tell me something about her. Give me any indication that she has any character trait other than sweet, nice, or friendly. Sure okay, she can get competitive, but she gets that way. As in, it’s not an inherent trait. It has to be turned on. And okay, she’s selfless enough to want an easier life for her parents. The problem with Uraraka is that she’s forced to remain this perfect porcelain figure. And a lot of my problems with this ship could be fixed by fixing my problems with Uraraka. Make her a real character. Give her a story arc. Give her interests and hobbies, superstitions, quirky behaviors. Anything. Just don’t treat her like a trophy to be handed to Deku when he saves the day. Believe me, I want this ship to be better. Because this is the flagship couple of the series. So they should be better written. But they aren’t and that’s upsetting.

BrOTPs

BAKUJIRO

Let me tell you, as a huge fan of this BrOTP, it was SO vindicating to see them working so well together during the drill against class 1-B. I genuinely believe that after Kirishima (and possibly now Kaminari) that Jiro probably has the best chance of being called Bakugo’s best friend, and I love that. These two feel like they’d just get along due to their punk/emo/goth vibe, and shared aloofness. I feel like Jiro is good enough at keeping her cool that she is one of the few characters who could just stonewall Bakugo’s angry yelling and just reply with a sarcastic quip about him throwing a tantrum without even looking up from her phone. They just seem like they’d get along once Bakugo starts to respect her more, and I look forward to that day.

NOTPs

My opinions on my NOTPS really haven’t changed, so I’m honestly just going to copy and past them. If you’ve read them before, then it’s unnecessary extra reading, and if you haven’t, then it can still look like a fresh opinion.

KACCHAKO

This ship straddles the line for me, as I do like this pairing, but only as a Friend!Ship. I like the idea of Bakugou sort of bringing Uraraka’s more competitive nature to the surface, and the two becoming sparring partners. It’s just the romantic angle I’m less keen on. The main contention I see for this pairing as a romantic couple is that Bakugou didn’t hold back against Uraraka during the Tournament Arc, but I personally prefer to look at it as a great parallel to the battle between Neji and Hinata Hyuga during the Chunin Exams in Naruto, an anime which was a major influence for Horikoshi. In both fights, a genius and prodigy who stood as an elite among the young recruits was set to fight the primary love interest who was significantly weaker than him. In both fights, both Neji and Bakugou completely refused to hold back and wiped the floor with their opponent. The main difference came in how the fights ended. When Neji moved in for the attack as Hinata was defeated, multiple supervising teachers had to restrain him from killing her while she was barely able to remain standing. Comparatively, the instant Bakugou noticed that Uraraka was collapsing in defeat, he stopped his attack. Heck, part of me even expected Bakugou to retrieve her tournament jacket and give it back to her, but I suppose that would have been a little out of character. My point with this story is that Bakugou had the mindset of a true feminist. He didn’t show mercy because she was at a lower skill level or because she was a girl. He fought her as if she was a legitimately threatening villain, and when the threat was neutralized, he no longer needed to keep fighting. I choose to read this as a recognition of her as a hero in training and even the building block upon which to build further respect between them. So, I can understand why people might ship this pairing, especially since Bakugou doesn’t really have anything even resembling shipping fodder with any other female character, as he doesn’t really tend to talk directly to the girls in his class. Still, for me, I think these two are much better off as friends who push each other to improve, but if this ship is your jam, I don’t see anything too problematic with it.

BAKUDEKU

This is probably the only ship I’d come close to calling myself an Anti for, but in truth, I don’t have a problem with people who ship these two, I just find it too problematic for me to really have any kind of favor for it. My problem with Bakudeku is that it’s mutually toxic. Midoriya shows very clear signs of abuse, whether it be verbal, physical, or mental, as he flinches at the sound of Bakugou’s voice, and immediately backtracks when talking to Kacchan in an attempt to stop him from getting angry enough to provoke an attack. However, Midoriya is just as bad for Bakugou, as it has been said numerous times that Bakugou’s pride is the direct result of endless praise and affirmation as a child from teachers and peers. Midoriya is a contributor to this problem, as even now, he continues to remark on how amazing Bakugou is, thus feeding his pride and inflating his ego. While it is possible for these two to grow past their rivalry and even enter something of a friendship, I don’t like the idea of such a toxic, abusive, and cruel dynamic taking any sort of romantic shape, as it would be damaging to both boys. Granted, some people enjoy darker pairings and others enjoy it for the idea of the redemption and reconciliation, but this pairing simply is not for me. If you do like this pairing, good for you. I am by no means trying to sway people’s opinions to resemble mine. I am by no means saying you can’t like this ship or that you shouldn’t, I’m just explaining why I do not.

[demaury]

boys online. chapter 2. (social media influencers au)

7916. 124. 10. These are the numbers that define Eliott and Lucas’ relationship, either they want it or not. 7916 kilometers between them, from Paris to Vancouver. 124 days since they first said ‘I love you’ last spring. And nearly 10 hours, until… well, until they meet for the first time. (ao3)

MANON CHATON

vu aujourd’hui à 20:34

i'm so in love

fuck what’s happening to me

😂

i get that you found eliott

i was getting a little worried here

it’s been literally five minutes!!!

sure, jan

so that means your flight landed somewhere in poland

because you should have arrived a whiiiiile ago if you were in paris 😏😂

i was taking five minutes to make-out with my bf

i bet you did 👀

is he a good kisser at least?

the best

i'm so whipped

you’re so whipped

but it’s cute

“Missing home already?”

Lucas looks up from his phone and cranes his neck just as Eliott slides in the seat next to him, carefully setting the two Styrofoam cups he just retrieved from the barista on the table. They’re waiting for the cab Lucas ordered after Eliott showed up and Starbucks seemed like the better option they had at the moment — at least once they stopped sharing oxygen and saliva long enough to get behind that idea.

“Not a fucking chance,” he grins as he locks his phone. He leans closer into Eliott’s personal space and the smile his boyfriend gives him back turns the cheekiest comments he can ever come up with into wobbling knees and fluttering stomach. “Thank you,” he says, punctuating it with a peck on Eliott’s lips.

He proceeds to grab his part of their order while Eliott settles more comfortably next to him — and, Lucas notices, even closer. “I received the text from the company, they said our car should be waiting for us at 9,” Eliott says, checking the text as he speaks. “We should probably get ready to take the commute soon I guess.”

“Guess so, yeah.” Lucas stretches his arms high above his head and scrunches up his face. “I’m beat, the flight was so long.”

It’s been two years since he last came to France, and damn has he forgotten how boring spending nearly ten hours in a plane was. After his parents’ divorce he had only come back a handful of times, generally to spend a few days in Nice with his paternal grandmother when his dad was in the mood to bother forcing him to do stuff, so it wasn’t like he was really used to making 8h+ flights abroad. Mostly he knows he should be thankful because there’s been no assholery behavior and no crying baby or tantrum-y kid.

“Can’t wait to see these eyes without the bags underneath,” Eliott teases, pocking to his cheek playfully.

Lucas bats his hand away just for the sake of it, but it’s not harsh and Eliott knows him too well to even question. “Well, sorry for you, but the bags are rooming with me,” he huffs. “I tried to stay awake last night to sleep during the flight. Worked tremendously, as you can see.”

“They are nice bags,” Eliott decides, shrugging slightly. “I could get used to it, they make your eyes pop in the end.”

Lucas tilts his head to the side, cocking an eyebrow. “You didn’t sound so sappy over FaceTime, I feel lied to,” he says, playing with his cup nonchalantly. “Now I wonder what else is different.”

Eliott seems to ponder his answer, and Lucas stares, obvious and unapologetic. It’s not a big reveal that his boyfriend is even more beautiful in person than he already is in pictures, and it still amazes him even after all this time and an entire day spent obsessing over it that one day they met as friends, last April. Eliott had a family member getting married somewhere near Calgary and it was just too good of an opportunity to miss it. Right after the wedding Eliott had hopped in a plane for Vancouver and they had spent the day hanging out and touring around Vancouver. Well, Eliott had toured around Vancouver. Lucas, for his part, had mostly followed and occasionally taken his eyes away from Eliott long enough to gesture at some place.

“You’re right,” Eliott says, sounding awfully serious. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something that might affect our relationship, but I need to get it off my chest so that you can be prepared.”

Lucas isn’t sure where he’s going with it, but Eliott shifts on his chair to face him without looking like he’s waiting for an answer. His grey eyes meet Lucas’, deep and serious, and it takes Lucas most of his willpower to keep his mind on tracks, when all he wants to do is reach out and touch that perfect jawline of Eliott’s.

“I’ll be the sappiest of the saps,” Eliott declares, ignoring when Lucas bursts out laughing. “I have my boyfriend in town for two small weeks, so you better be ready for all the cheesiness in the world because I fully intend to make the most of it,” he concludes.

Lucas shifts too, facing him. “So that’s not our first date?”, he asks, faking surprise.

“In a Starbucks coffee?” Eliott scoffs. “Please, I have standards. I was just desperately trying to give you a caffeine boost to keep you up on your two feet.”

Lucas cocks an eyebrow. “The cheesiest boyfriend in the world wouldn’t mind picking his boyfriend up, just saying.”

“You want me to do that?”, Eliott deadpans, cocking an eyebrow too.

“Jesus, no,” Lucas huffs a laugh, shaking his head, and Eliott joins him.

He doesn’t really know why he freaked out some 24h ago, when everything seems as simple as it should be. They’re easily navigating between banter and cutesy declarations, and it’s something Lucas always dreamed of finding in a boyfriend. Eliott reaches out, his fingers threading through Lucas’ hair.

“We should get going,” he says, pressing a soft kiss on Lucas’ lips. “Last thing I want is so miss our commute and end up dragging my sleepy boyfriend all the way out.”

Lucas snorts, taking a sip from his coffee. “I’m not a child, I’ll let you know. I can stay awake one more hour.”

*

Lucas doesn’t stay awake one more hour.

Which is totally fine, if you ask Eliott. They’ve been in the car for roughly fifteen minutes when Lucas’ head falls on his shoulder, pretty eyes closed and his grip loosening ever so slightly around Eliott’s fingers.

“Jetlag doesn’t forgive,” the taxi driver says, sententious, as he peeks in the rear-view mirror halfway through a story involving electric bikes. “Where are you guys coming from?”

“He lives in Canada,” Eliott replies, and it’s still a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that this reality, them together in the same town, isn’t one that is meant to last. “I live in the 11e though.”

His attention drifts away as the driver manages to find another topic of conversation involving Eliott’s area of Paris, focusing instead on the soft patterns he traces with his fingers on the inside of Lucas’ wrist. At this point, the only thing keeping Eliott from reaching for his phone to snap a selfie of them both is that he doesn’t have the heart to take either of his hands away from a sleepy Lucas. Hear him out, he can tear his eyes away from him, it’s just that he gets to hear Lucas laugh and smile and angrily venting when things don’t go the way he wants them to go, but sleep is something he’s never been able to witness. And, like, Eliott is completely, utterly in love with Lucas but he knows by now that he can be a real pain in the ass when he wants to be — so seeing him soft and cute like that, he’s not ready to pass on it just yet.

The road from the airport isn’t all that long, given the general state of the Parisian traffic, and when they get to rue Dangeau, where Lucas’ hotel is situated, it’s been around forty minutes since they left Roissy-Charles-de-Gaulle. The sleeping arrangement got him thinking, when they were planning Lucas’ trip to France, because they had been together for less than three months, and the last thing he wanted was for Lucas to feel pressured about anything. Granted, it had taken him less time to lose his virginity to Lucille when they were younger, but it doesn’t mean it’s a race either. His boyfriend was still 17 back then, and Eliott distinctly remembers worrying a whole night about all the things he could possibly say that could send the wrong message whatsoever. The good side is that ever since he managed to man the fuck up and confess his feelings to Lucas, things have been (mostly) easy to navigate between them and Lucas has (mostly) been on the same page — he said he didn’t want to rush things either, but simply because they deserved to make things ‘the right way’, which is still a fair point, albeit a bit different. In the end they have both agreed to the hotel thing, and the more thoughts Eliott puts into it, the more natural it felt.

He releases Lucas’ hand as the car parks just across the street on a delivery spot, and it gets him to stir and mumble. “Note to self,” he groans as Eliott unbuckles his seatbelt, rubbing his eyes from his hand, “coffee doesn’t hold a candle to a nine-hour jetlag.”

“Will you manage to walk inside or do I have to pick you up?”, Eliott enquires, barely biting back a smirk.

Lucas squints his eyes. “Look at you making fun of me.” He pouts, and he unbuckles his seatbelt before sliding out through the door he chucked open. “I’ll manage, since you’re so nice to ask.”

Eliott snorts and hops off through his own door while Lucas retrieves his luggage from the driver. The man greets them warmly before getting back in and driving away. The hotel Lucas picked isn’t particularly fancy, it’s actually one of those hotels you’d walk by without really noticing. Despite being three floors high, it’s squeezed between a flower shop and a restaurant selling kebabs, in a narrow one-way street, but Eliott is almost surprised by how comfy it feels as soon as they push past the door of the lobby. Lucas goes to retrieve the key to his hotel room, and he allows himself a moment to check his phone in the meantime, but there’s nothing there that requires his undivided attention like his boyfriend does. A couple of notifications and texts from his friends that he puts on hold for the time being, when Lucas makes sign for him to join as he’s climbing upstairs.

“Home sweet home,” Lucas sighs, dropping himself flat on the bed as soon as they get in.

“It’s a nice hotel,” Eliott observes thoughtfully, closing the door behind him. “And at least you aren’t far from my place.”

Lucas props himself back up on his elbows. “It’s still too far,” he complains.

Eliott snorts and shakes his head. “It’s really not. And you’re literally on automatic pilot now, you need to sleep.”

“I know that.” Lucas pauses. “I just- I don’t know, I just want you to stay. Here. With me.”

“But we agreed that we would take it slow,” Eliott says, frowning a little.

“Of course, yes,” Lucas replies quickly, and Eliott isn’t sure but he thinks Lucas might be blushing. “But I want cuddles.” And he goes on, raising his arms and making grabby hands in his direction.

Eliott takes in Lucas’ tired eyes, his pouty lips, his messy hair and his grabby hands, and it’s not even that he feels himself cave in, because he had already stopped fighting himself the moment Lucas first asked, but there’s literally not a single good reason for him to leave this hotel room now. The first thing he does, before answering even, is kicking off his shoes, then he looks back up and Lucas’ grin is worth everything in the world.

“Let’s cuddle then,” Eliott says.

As soon as he plops down next to him, Lucas immediately drags him in a laying position and worms his way between his arms.

*

Having a sleeping boyfriend in bed he’s trying not to wake up is something Lucas isn’t quite used to, in complete honesty. Jake was his first relationship after he came out, and it hadn’t lasted three full months, so it’s not like he really managed to make his marks as a not-single guy. Point is, disentangling himself from Eliott’s arms has been surprisingly stressful, and he hates his bladder for forcing him out of his living safety blanket, but he hates his brain even more for making him stare pointlessly at an invisible spot for about an hour before that.

Jetlag is a fucking bitch, he thinks grumpily as he closes the lid and flushes the toilet, motioning to the sink to wash his hands. There’s a mirror hanging off the wall above the basin, and the glance he spares it isn’t really helpful. He literally has red circles on top of the black ones now, and it makes a weird Halloween-ish look with his blue eyes — which he’s positive isn’t attractive in any part of the world.

He retrieves his phone from the nightstand on his side of the bed, eyes squinting when he unlocks it, after padding as quietly as possible out of the bathroom and trying desperately to remember how the furniture is displayed so that he doesn’t end up splitting his knee open in the frame of the bed on his way.

“Lucas?”

Eliott’s sleepy voice makes Lucas startle stupidly and he smiles sheepishly in the ray of light emanating from his phone. “Yeah, I’m here.”

There’s a pause and Eliott motions some more in the bed, rubbing his eye from the heel of his hand. He’s wearing his tee-shirt from yesterday and his black briefs are peeking out from where the comforter is thrown back. “Is it morning already?”

“Nah, I just went to the bathroom. Sorry for waking you up.”

Eliott frowns and nods. “Oh. Right. Aren’t you coming back?”

“I can’t sleep,” Lucas admits. “I’ll probably just toss and turn.”

Eliott props himself up on an elbow. “It’s fine. Come here,” he says, voice still a bit rough from sleep and hair a little messier than usual. “We can watch a movie or something.”

Lucas huffs a chuckle. “Eliott, it’s 2.30 in the morning, go back to sleep.”

“So what, I don’t get to have cuddles at 2.30?”

Lucas stares, taken aback. “Fuck, of course you do,” he says, practically throwing his phone on the nightstand as he hops in the bed, and just like that the room is pitch-black all over again. “Let’s keep the movie for another time though.”

They don’t quite cuddle, not like they were before Lucas got up, and not like they were when they first fell asleep. They’re merely facing each other, Eliott’s arm snaking its way around his waist, gentle and light as they pull him just a tiny bit closer.

“It’s fine,” he says, tracing circles on Lucas’ side. “We can just talk.”                

Lucas slides an arm under his head, looking in the direction of Eliott’s voice, almost as if he could make out his features in the night, were he trying hard enough. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” his boyfriend whispers, and Lucas feels him shrugging slightly. “What’s the first thing you could think about asking me?”

Lucas ponders the question. Objectively there’s still a whole bunch of things he would want to know about Eliott, simply because he wants to know everything there’s to know, but there’s something intimate and unique about being with him like this, his attention undivided. They have nowhere else to be, no one else to bother them, not a single kilometer between them. It’s just them, in this moment, and he feels emboldened enough to ask: “When did you know you had feelings for me?”

There’s a silence, and Eliott’s fingers stop their gentle dance on his side. “It doesn’t really depict me IN a good light,” Eliott admits.

“C’mon on, tell me,” Lucas says, wriggling a tad closer. “I know it was when you were still with Lucille, you told me that already.”

“Alright,” Eliott says. “The exact moment, uh?” Lucas nods, even if Eliott can’t see it. “I was having sex with Lucille.” Another silence. “I thought about you to finish.”

Oh. Well, he can’t say he’s feeling bad, which he’s simultaneously certain is the opposite of the reaction he should be having. Probably because his boyfriend did not mentally cheat on him while they were having sex.

“I told you, it doesn’t really make me the perfect boyfriend after that,” Eliott mumbles.

Lucas shakes his head, mostly for himself, and he reaches out to run his hand up Eliott’s arm. “Actually, I think you’re doing really great so far.”

“So far, uh?” Eliott muses.

“Yes. So far. Your turn.”

Eliott takes a second to think. “Why did you date Jake if you weren’t all that interested in him?”

“It doesn’t really make me a Saint either.”

The fingers are back to grazing his side through the material of his shirt. “I think I’ll handle it. I think I already know, in fact.”

Lucas drops his gaze, uselessly, he knows, but it’s a reflex he can’t help. “I was in love with you,” he admits. “You had gotten back with Lucille. It was, like, the third time it was happening in the short time we had known each other, I just thought there’d never be a place for me in your life.”

It feels strangely liberating to get it off his chest. It’s not the biggest secret of his life, and it’s not his most bitter moment either. But going back to these few months, where Eliott had managed to occupy so much space in his life all the while being still so out of reach, it still makes his heart clench a little on instinct — like the vague memory of a physical pain.

“The tables turned,” Eliott says and Lucas smiles.

“Kind of, yeah.”

Eliott pulls himself closer, and Lucas shifts a little, welcoming his boyfriend’s frame in his arms as Eliott nestles his face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so happy to have you with me,” he whispers.

*

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 2: The VR Zone Has a Hell Ton of Trees

Alright guys I am regretting the hell out of this teriyaki ramen bowl I just ate, so it’s a better time than ever to go back into this VR arc. Now that the Big 5 have made their speech, all of them quite fat and one with a cane although he doesn’t even have a body anymore, they are ready to send everyone down a series of...plot-shaped holes.

Like they were JUST in some sort of tropic zone, to go back to here and then go somewhere else and so like--this is still VR I think? Like I’m assuming they went VR the moment they entered this room but it is quite vague at what point they were officially in VR. Was it when their vision went fwisssh and everyone split into RGB layers or was it that they got knocked out with gas quite a long time ago and were just unaware that it happened? Probably a bunch of these things.

With this announcement we find out that everyone--and I mean everyone--has to play cards now, although I’m pretty sure half of them have duel disks and the other’s are like...not equipped? I mean it’s VR, so hypothetically no one at all needs a duel disk anymore but you gotta sell toys, so no matter what, Yugi’s going to be lugging this heavy sharp thing on his wrist, even when he knows he will soon be shot down a wacky hole.

The title of last episode, ps was “VR Nightmare,” but like, it’s actually fairly pleasant, compared to the blimp hell we were dealing with just a few episodes back. I mean I guess people are actively trying to kill us here but when are they not?

The audacity of this show. Every state in the US has huge ass fake castles in it leftover from the Rockefeller era. Where else are our Moms supposed to drag us on Day Trips so we can get our history credit for Girl Scouts?

Americans are hella good at creating fake historical sites--all you need is a 50+ year old house and some turret work possibly made by a reasonably well known architect and it’s like “yeah that’s a good enough castle for me! Can we say it’s haunted, too? It’s hella haunted! Come to my castle B+B!”

(read more under the cut)

Tea landed in some concept art that kind of looks like the underside of a mushroom. I dunno how I’d classify this rock structure.

And then Kaiba landed in his worst nightmare which was being in a normal park with one single straight road but somehow still completely lost. At least Mokuba managed to fall into the same hole as his brother to ensure that Seto wouldn't be lost for like the rest of this arc. Which was actually kind of an unintentionally hilarious animation.

*rare shot of the Kaibas actually taking a break*

Man, this is the closest they’ve gotten to a real hug in kind of a while. Like when was the last time these bros hugged? Pegasus’ castle?

Meanwhile, Noah is admiring his work from this throne room and it would be a whole lot more intimidating if he wasn’t in calf-high black socks.

His outfit is like a white school uniform so what gives with the black socks? Like of all the things to complain about on Yugioh (especially since I see Yugi’s hair looking right at me in the next cap) those socks though. Those are pretty inappropriate with this outfit, Noah. Especially matched with this God Throne you’ve got going on. Did not see socks like that matched with a chair like this.

Meanwhile Yugi is all by himself but that doesn’t matter at all because he is 2 (3) people. This strategy to isolate everyone only really worked on Serenity and Joey, TBH, since Tea is also accompanied by slightlylessevil!Marik (who hasn’t really said anything since the VR started).

I knew Bakura would be out for a while, but I didn’t realize it meant everyone else wasn’t even going to once acknowledge it, it is baffling. I mean I get they’re super distracted right now but your friend is DEAD.

Honestly I would not mind if the big 5 succeeded and we had to see some old men try and work with Yugi’s hair and alt rock clothing, deal with Pharaoh sassing them from a brain labyrinth, go to Yugi’s school where people get savagely beat up like every other day, deal with Bakura and Marik trying to body snatch and other magic assholery during class breaks, and through all that watching the Big 5 attempt to take over the world with their megacorp that no longer sells guns but actually sells like...children’s entertainment supplies which include the dueling roombas from S1. How on Earth do they actually think that getting a body would help them at this point? They would be Yugi Muto and that is the last face anyone would ever take seriously.

Pharaoh pops up and is like “I guess we’re doing this right now? Really wish we weren’t doing this right now.”

Anyway, because they don’t physically exist in this digital world, neither do God Cards, or any other card in their deck. So, now they have to make new decks out of a pool. Very convenient for the writing team, bad news for Kaiba’s intense and vaguely romantic relationship with his Blue Eyes. Really glad we spent a full season talking about how much these cards meant to all these people, from the magicians, to Joey’s Red Eyes, and then that one card that was Mako Tsunami’s Dad or something--really glad we learned all of that to just completely erase it this arc.

I sounded sarcastic just now, I actually wasn’t for once, I am so glad to just purge my mind of all those card memories for a little while. Just allow myself to forget. Ah. My mind is already so much clearer. It feels so good. I am very much ok with this soft reset, I kinda needed it.

Since Yugi is supposed to choose a Deck Master from his set of cards for this particular type of duel monsters duel, he goes right for the dark magician--since that’s his MO, but for some reason Kuriboh chose himself? Like this greasy thing just hopped out of the card and played himself.

Anyway Kuriboh is now their new Pikachu and well...this show has done worse cute-character-that-does-literally-nothing-else type things to me, speaking of, lets see what Serenity is up to.

This is a digital hellscape, Serenity.

Serenity, you are going to die here.

Serenity.

So because I just realized just now in Season 3 that Duke’s necklace is a hot, over designed disaster (much like Duke himself) I figured I should like...see what this necklace is supposed to look like. So I typed into Google “duke devlin necklace” and guys, turns out there is a LOT of Yugioh jewelry--and I don’t mean like fanart (which there is also a lot), I mean like officially, a lot of people in this show wear a lot of jewelry and so it was sort of hard to find a good pic of a Duke Devlin specific necklace--especially since it feels like most people just go for the dice earring because that’s way easier.

But what’s interesting about the Duke Devlin necklace, at least from my quick search, is that when we bring it to the real world, it gets a little lost, like a game of telephone.

Cuz I assumed that was a clown on his necklace--and there’s quite a few clown necklaces, but I’m also seeing skulls, I’m seeing gothic crosses, I’m seeing spikes and knives instead of crosses. Bro thought it was a flower for some reason--I kinda blew his mind just now when I pointed out it was a clown. Some people think it’s made of silver, other people think it’s sort of painted? (I assumed the cross was entirely blinged out with rhinestones--my honest assumption) No one can actually agree. Especially since Duke apparently changed his necklace for the movie. I know that because it looks a lot like the Legend of Zelda emblem, and some people had the actual Legend of Zelda emblem mis-tagged as Duke Devlin. Which sucks a whole lot for their SEO, and sucked a whole lot for me in my search to find a real actual Duke Devlin necklace.

Like, feel free to attach a link to a reply -- is there an official physical Duke Devlin necklace that Yugioh inc sells? Like I just want to know--officially--what the hell I’m looking at.

Anyway, back to the show, much like everyone else, these two are hopelessly lost.

Kaiba seems to keep forgetting that his Dad is clearly behind all this and would obviously have his old tech but like...Kaiba forgets so much I can forgive him this.

So, faced with roads that lead no where, Tristan decides to do his tried and true method of solving all of his problems.

And at the other end of the VR zone Tea is getting kidnapped after...being kidnapped by Noah while she was already kidnapped by Marik. This is three levels of kidnap, yes?

OH SHOOT IS THAT A ONCE DOOR. DID SOMEONE DO WHAT I HOPE THEY DID? OH SHOOT.

I will read their fanfiction start to end I swear to you I will do it if it exists and I will report back to you who dates Captain Hook and who is related to Henry Mills.

OMG It didn’t exist.

You have got to be kidding me.

I am beside myself, this is the only property known to man that has not been turned into a OUAT fanfiction.

Incredible.

That or I’m just really bad at searching for fanfics since I haven’t actually read any since my LiveJournal days. Like, when you’re basically immune to shipping, as I am, you just really lose the desire to read about 90% of fanfiction.

Anyway, the closest we have to a OUAT Yugioh fanfiction, to my knowledge, is that cap I made just now right there. Your welcome, Once community.

This is absolutely made of load-bearing drywall. Why do none of the sets of windows line up with each other and how many stories is this? Like 2.5? And you can stand on the roof I guess because it has handrails? It’s super weird.

Anyway, I just made a OUAT joke and maybe it’s because I knew shortly after we were gonna get--that’s right--an orphanage flashback. OUAT was basically 6 seasons of effed up orphan flashbacks so I feel pretty well prepared. Like bro was worried how I’d handle this filler but y’all, I watched the Lily arc in OUAT. I can do anything.

*slaps hands together*

Totes ready for these boys to have been given up for adoption via a magical tree and a memory curse, only to find out their real parents are 3 years younger than them because of a time loop. Make it weird, Yugioh!

Anyway, as always, if you want a link to read these from the beginning in Chrono order and without any comments and all that jazz here’s a link

[jacquelineshyde]

Why do you think fans and Jackie forgive Hyde's shitty actions towards Jackie so easily? I love him with all my heart but I find some of his worst actions towards Jackie too wrong to look away from it.

I spent long minutes looking at thisquestion because I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Is it the cheating arcat the end of season 5? His initial assholery and silence during the firstweeks of their relationship in season 5? The oocness of season 7? Season 8? Oris it the pre-relationship assholery? Because I have an answer for each, and itmay not be what you’re expecting.

Be aware of the long ass meta, kids. Herewe go.

Pre-relationship Hyde and Jackie (season2-3)

SHE WAS STALKING HIM. It may hadn’t beenthe best to tell her to get off, but she was pestering him and shoving herselfto him with little respect for his privacy, alone time and space in all kinds.She’s constantly getting him in trouble with his fosters parents, friends andeven the law.

I do believe Jackie’s intentions of tryingsomething with him, her feelings for him, were honests. But he has know her,until now, only as Kelso’s girlfriend and he has seen the kind of not-so-goodperson she can be to her couple. Not to mention he probably feels like she’sonly using him to get back at Kelso or get over him, both options being honestto God ugly.

And he doesn’t know she really wants themto try because she never approaches him like any other normal person would:TALKING. And not yelling or demanding, but talking. Instead, she tries to makehim go with her to places he doesn’t like, she puts him into stuff withoutasking him first and wants him to simply obey her. THAT’S NOT GOOD AT ALL.

I love Jackie with all my heart, but inthis moment of the show, she has little respect for Hyde’s bondaries and itpisses him off. It would freak you out, too, I’m sure. It would piss ME off!And while yes, he was hard to her some times (especially with that ugly asshaiku), you have to take in mind this has been happening for MONTHS and his hashis limits, kind of a temper too, and she doesn’t take no for an answer. WHICHIS WRONG.

So yeah, he was in his right to be an ass.

Newly in a relationship (season 5)

Hyde has never had a relationship beforeand his only good example of one is Red and Kitty, who have already gonethrough the struggles he and Jackie were about to find as they adjusted to theother, which is something normal to every couple.

Examples of him being ‘not so good’ at itaren’t actually that big of a deal, especially because what we saw are thingsthat later in the episode get corrected and that also make Jackie correct herown shitty behavior.

We are at it again with her NOT asking andjust demanding, and him answering pretty hard to her with very harsh words andstaments most times. It did made me angry that he would be so rude, but again,if you take in account this has been happening for far too long and she doesn’tget the damn clue, one can only support so much.

Another one I remember, one that actuallydid pissed me off, was him being such a prick when she assures him she willloyal to him and wants to know if he would do the same for her. I think whatwas wrong in here was the way she approached him, she should had just asked whatshe wanted. Had she done this and he had answered as zen, then I would be evenmore pissed.

Ultimately, we don’t know if she forgiveshim for this? I don’t think it’s a bigger deal since she shows him with his ownwords how he made her feel. Both are being pricks here, and I hate that theshow didn’t talk abot this a little bit more, but well.

Jackie going around saying what he hasconfided her? Shitty of her, man. I’m sorry. I love her as much as Hyde does,but that’s shitty still. Not wanting to call her his girlfriend at first?Understandable, but both deal with that and I don’t think there’s anything toforgive there.

What I can’t fucking stand and I will NEVERbe able to is him shutting her up every time she wants to talk about theirrelationship or compliment him. I know a lot of people find this somehowadorable or cute, or normal, but GIRLS AND BOYS: IF YOUR BOYFRIEND SHUTS YOU UP, IN ANY KIND OF WAY, HE IS WRONG. I REPEAT, HE IS WRONG. Dump the idiot andget some better dick.

I hate that Hyde does that and I hate morethat the show normalized it and saw it as something funny, that Jackie Burkhartaccepted that. “It’s a fling” MY ASS, DON’T HAVE A FLING WITH AN IDIOT THATSHUTS YOU UP. “It’s a joke between them” IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE THAT. AT ALL. It’sobvious they hadn’t talked about their relationship and feelings by that point,I hate that the writers gave this bit of characterization to Hyde and that theylet him get away with it.

The show let it go because most the writerswere sexist and knew shit about relationships.

The Nurse Arc (season 5)

YIKES. I HATE THIS ARC.

But okay, let me say what awesome peoplelike thestupidhelmet has been saying since the beginning of t70s time: Hyde’scheating comes from hurt, not lust. He doesn’t seek a relationship outside hiswith Jackie, he is seeking getting her out of his system. Hispassive-aggressive way of breaking things up with her it’s ugly and messy, andwrong, but it is what it is.

He didn’t stepped in and asked what thehell was going on in Donna’s couch, his insecurity about Jackie not havingfeelings for Kelso has been teased before with shit like ‘get off myboyfriend’, Kelso’s constant assholery towards him and constant want to gettingback into Jackie’s pants, even when she has shoved him aside time after time,finally until he tells Jackie he doesn’t want her to be with Kelso at all.

Which is pretty un-Hyde thing to do, butagain, this won’t become a rant about how much the writers liked to mess withHyde’s characterization in order to create unecessary conflict for him andJackie instead of giving them real plots.

After he sleeps with this person, hedoesn’t look happy or satisfized with his actions, which is a big kudo to DannyMasterson who always cared enough about Hyde’s love for Jackie (probably morethan the writers themselves lol *cries*). When he learns he has been wrong, thatJackie didn’t do anything bad and was actually searching for him to explainherself and was scared shitless for him thinking she has betrayed his trust, hefeels like crap and understands the magnitude of what he has done.

His better option right now is to say he’ssorry and he does. The show gives it selfish undertones, he makes this allabout him and doesn’t give Jackie space or the respect she deserves, the timeto grief. Because, once more, the person she loved the most has betrayed her,and she thinks it has been the same way her ex-lover did before.

I believe Jackie forgivess him because shesees him giving her the time and space she needs, she sees him being as misarableas she feels without her, he is honest and immediately tells her what he did,he also tells her he does loves her and If the show had treated it better,something better could had come with it. But for that we have those70scomics,am I right?

The end of this shit does pisses me off.Ultimately, Jackie forgives him because she loves him and she knows he lovesher. When he does that ASSHOLE move with Raquel (that kinda counts as cheatingagain, since he accepts Jackie’s kisses and was going to probably make love toher in that damn couch before Raquel appeared. What the fuck was he thinking?Was he going to let Jackie be seen by the girl he was going out with while hefucked her? I will never be tired of saying that I hate the writers’ way of dismissingcertain important parts of Hyde’s characterization), and even before whenhe was acting like if he had been the injured part in the situation (*), I justcouldn’t believe it.

Again, there the only explanation I find isthat she loves him enough and too much, and she really believes they can betogether and have a future together. That’s in canon. In reallity? Because thewriters were sexist pigs.

The I don’t know Arc (season 7)

This one was ridiculous. Both characterswere put in situations they were long over. Hyde refered to him and Jackie astogether in his mind until they were old (and lazy and fat) since season 5. He likedher in a wedding dress, which gave Jackie the sing she was hoppig for thatthey would eventually get married. They’ve been through this mess already andthe writers regressed them to the beginning to create another unnecessarydrama.

Hyde’s way of talking to Jackie when sherealizes he didn’t want to go to her graduation party AND that he had lied toher is totally out of character. He later breaks a promise to her and again,lies to her and he doesn’t care. He acts like if he is the offended part here, too and she is tired, man, she is so tired.

She has right to be in this situation, evenwhen Hyde is so obviously and painfuly out of character. She doesn’t forgivehim this time, because they never talk about it ever again. When they get backtogether it’s also out of character and it makes it look like if it was allabout the sex all this time. Which is not truth and it’s ridiculous.

We never see them talk what drove themapart. Later we discover they did and, because these writers are sexists and itseemed like if they hated Jackie, it turned out that Hyde got her to promise tonever talk about their future again (RED FLAGS, KIDS: WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND SHUTSYOU UP AND MAKES YOU PROMISE YOU WON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM,THE BASTARD IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, LET ALONE YOUR HEART). Which means theynever got a resolution, she just agreed because she doesn’t want to lose him.

The real Hyde would had never allowed that.Imagine if Real!Hyde and Winter!Hyde were two different people, and Jackie isdating Winter!Hyde at the moment while still around of Real!Hyde. He sees thishappening and when she agrees to Winter!Hyde she won’t talk about her feelings,their relationship and future, Real!Hyde first reaction would had been to shakeher into reason and make her see that asshole is not worth her time, let laoneher heart.

He would go then punch that asshole. Becausethat’s the asshole that brought season 8 to himself. And the writers did this,they destroyed Hyde’s character and devolpment of seventh entire fucking years justbecause they wanted some unnecessary and cheap drama.

At the end, she never forgives him, onlyagrees to not talk about it because she loves him and she really doesn’t wantto lose him. But then, her future starts moving without him and she wants tokeep him with her, but he reacts like a douchbag and she keeps reacting liketwelve years old, putting ultimatums and hiding from him for the sake of drama.

ONLY THEN, he is right to be pissed. 

Season 8

But youknow were he doesn’t? When he believes he has seen her “cheating” on him. It notonly didn’t happen, but he didn’t had a word on it either. He let her go, Erichimself says it and he agrees, “she let you off the hook” which translate to “youtwo are over”. That he didn’t wanted it that way, that’s different. But onceagain he did nothing to talk to her FIRST but to get drunk and then see what hewanted to see.

His passive-agressiveness comes back in theway of going to angry fuck random stripper #4 in Las Vegas for an entire month,while Jackie waited for him at home. She left her job oportunity and put apause to her life for him, and what did he do? He married a stranger that wasonly there to make Jackie’s life miserable and insult her every time she could.And he did nothing.

Jackie doesn’t forgive him for that oneeither, and she shouldn’t, to be honest. But once again, that guy is not Hyde. It’sjust not.

Conclusion.

Hyde, most times, had a reason to be likehe was to Jackie. Her own acts of stupidity and assholery made him react bad,while his made her react as such too. Both are to blame for most of thesethings. And the three bigger offences he did to her (the nurse, winter and thestripper), just one was forgiven for an actual reason and the others were not. Becausethe writers didn’t do their job as well as we could have wished.

Steven Hyde is not a douchbag, the guy thewriters replaced him with, is.

[decodingbackstreet]

undefined

It’s True... From the glorious Black & Blue. Took me a moment to appreciate this one. In fact, I didn’t appreciate most of B&B til about 5 years after it was released. I remember listening to this and being like this sounds like something Kevin would write. It just reminds me of a Back to Your Heart part 2. Lo and behold, Kevin did co-write this so it wasn’t a baseless assumption. Anyway, I like it. I like Nick in it.

Writers: Max Martin, Andreas Carlsson, Kevin Richardson Producers: Per Magnusson, David Kreuger

Even a lover Makes a mistake sometimes Like any other Fall out and lose his mind And I'm sorry For the things I did For your teardrops Over words I said Can you forgive me And open your heart once again

Brian opens up the song. So he was crappy to his girl, made her cry and all that jazz. Amazing how they can admit to being mean and making her cry, but then be like take me back please! Like... Stand by your assholery. Yes, we all make mistakes but dude... To the point where she’s crying? Nope. No backsies.

It's true I mean it From the bottom of my heart Yeah, it's true Without you I would fall apart

The chorus. Simple. Concise. Straight to the point. Without her they’d fall apart. By the amount of whining that’s already gone on in the song (and we’re only about a minute and a half in), the falling apart issue is true. I do find it funny how they say I mean it. It’s such a childish line. 5-year-olds say that in warning.

Whatever happened I know that I was wrong Can you believe me Maybe your faith is gone

AJ gets this first half. He’s admitting that this is all his fault. He isn’t sure if the girl will believe him, tho. Maybe she’s just over it completely. Does seem like AJ is smoothing over what he did wrong. Whatever happened? Just say what happened. It’s like halfway apologizing.

But I love you And I always will So I wonder If you want me still Can you forgive me And open your heart once again

Nick here. I wonder why they split this verse like this? Still asking for forgiveness. This time he’s all bashful. Does she want him still? I can imagine twiddling fingers and twisting feet, looking up at the girl even tho Nick is like 6′ tall. And if you love her then maybe you shouldn’t have been a dick!

Another chorus. Then Brian hits us with the chorus...

I'd do anything to make it up to you So please understand And open your heart once again

Tbh, I would’ve had AJ sing the first verse, Nick sing the second, and Brian sing this. Anyway, is anyone else getting the BTYH feels with this? They’re always talking about how they’ll do anything to get back with the girl. Anything? ANYTHING? ANYTHING is pretty broad. And it’s not like they’re putting some limits down. Clearly they’re desperate. Should’ve thought about that before being a doofus to your lady. No sympathy from me.

They do the chorus a few times more before Brian ends with it’s true. Ikr? Brian ending a song instead of AJ. I was amazed. That’s one way it differs from BTYH.

[confidenceatitsfinest]

Hi! I'm a Jungkook stan I've always seen him as a top. But now I've been looking more closely and I've noticed that even though many people say he's a top, he really seems like a bottom. My friend told me about this blog and said that you're really good at explaining Jungkook "bottom-ness"? Lol I just want to be more open minded when it comes to Kookie. Do you mind explaining a bit? Like with each member? If it's not too much to ask. Thank you! Lovely account :)

Hello! I’m so sorry I delayed this response so much. I knew I would take awhile to fully discuss this and I didn’t have much time lately, so I put it off. Please forgive me. 

But welcome, fellow Jungkook stan! First time here? Sorry I’m a dork haha. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to come ask me this. It’s great that you’re expanding your horizons haha. The reasons I’m about to give are solely based on opinion and preference. I’m not saying either preference is wrong, just saying my point of view because you wanted to know why some people see him as a bottom (aka me). I’m lowkey laughing at the “good at explaining Jungkook bottom-ness” because my trashiness is really obvious. This is going to be really long, so it’ll be under the read more!

I’ve said this before, but I’m not exactly sure how I became a bottom Jungkook stan. It may have been the fics I first read when I just got into BTS or the videos of fetus Kookie I’ve seen way in the beginning. Many of the top Jungkook fics I’ve seen contain tropes and characterizations that I do not personally like. I see a lot of asshole!Jungkook, badboy!Jungkook, emotionally constipated!Jungkook, etc. You probably know what I mean. Again, I personally really do not like these portrayals. Why? Jungkook is a sweetheart, a natural cutie, a shy bun in real life and I AM WEAK. Ahem, sorry. I don’t know if it’s just me, but it hurts for me to see my bias written as the bad guy, the one that the other character needs protecting from, the inhumanly strong one who doesn’t have feelings. It hurts to see pre-established tags in AO3 regarding his “assholery.” I’m not kidding, if you type “jungkook” into AO3 tags, ‘Jungkook is emotionally constipated’ ‘Jungkook is an asshole’ ‘Jungkook is a douche’ and more are already tags. This portrayal of him as an unfeeling, cold douchbag is SO widespread. And a lot of these negative traits are associated with him being on top. Now, I’m NOT saying all top kook fics are like this. That’s highly unrealistic. If you write top Kook well and balanced, that’s great! But a lot that I do see, do contain those traits I mentioned. Jungkook is actually quite emotional (said it himself) and sensitive. He’s considerate and shows his affection/support more through actions because he’s not good at putting his feelings into words. 

Now, onto why I prefer bottom Jungkook. Part of this has to do with the fics, I admit. If you’ve ever read Graesun’s (bottomkook on tumblr) fics if you’re a Jikook shipper or Xiajin’s (j-ungah on tumblr) fics it you’re a Sugakookie shipper or Rix’s (crossfilth on tumblr) if you’re a taekook shipper, you know how good bottom Jungkook is written. Their relationships are balanced, and mutual, and hell, Jimin, Yoongi, and Taehyung aren’t portrayed as asshole doms okay? They’re not! Jimin is an amazing, caring top. Yoongi is a more subtle sweet, but just as caring top. Taehyung is playful, but considerate. Usually, USUALLY, they’re not written the way Jungkook is written as a top. Even if the fic has dom/sub undertones, the top isn’t some major unfeeling robot that can only hurt. 

Secondly, as a Jungkook stan, I am naturally biased to like seeing Jungkook being taken care of. That normally works out pretty well for me considering his hyungs adore him and take care of him all the time. Bangtan’s baby am I right? This also translates into me loving when he’s treated well in fics. I don’t mean babied necessarily, I just mean treated like he’s worth it, like he’s precious and lovable, like he’s just as deserving of affection as his partner. In real life, he gives and gives to his hyungs and he doesn’t ask for anything back. He’s supportive but also so critical of himself. He’s been more open with showing affection now, so we can see a bit of how much he loves his members. And there’s a reason why they love him back so, so, so much. No matter how much he grows, they’ll always treat him as their beloved youngest. And you can tell that he still needs to be taken care of and guided around. 

For example, you could see a lot of this in Bon Voyage. Jimin feeding him, tucking him in, and a heck of a lot more. Hoseok petting his hair and holding his hand. Yoongi and Hoseok letting him shower first. Jin holding him and playing with him. There’s a LOT of moments when they all just take care of him so well and I feel like he needed that kind of care since he debuted at such a young age. All of them let him get away with things not even other maknaes get away with. They’re really soft on him and god, do those fond smiles shine. 

Fic-sise, I feel like he needs guiding as well. He’s the youngest. As much as he wants to be a sensual on stage (and well, yeah he is, good job bun), he’s most likely quite inexperienced and really not much of a sex god off stage at all. He immediately goes back to his cute, natural bun-ness and this is why so many Jungkook stans get whiplash and/or are in denial. Okay, back to fics lol. I see it as his partner taking the lead because he feels more comfortable that way. He can relinquish the control he tries so hard to maintain and just let go. He lets himself be taken care of and wow, does he love the treatment. HE LOVES BEING TAKEN CARE OF FIGHT ME. Seriously though, as much as he denies it, you can actually see how much he likes being babied and treated nicely. Hell, he likes being called baby more than oppa.

Here are a few links to other instances where I further discuss the top/bottom thing. Strangely a lot of them have to do with jikook….

HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE (lol this one is me being salty), HERE (something I reblogged from a person who really condensed this). I do recommend reading these as they’re more concise versions and I give more reasoning (and pics!). 

As you can see, I’ve gotten a lot of asks about this.

You may be able to tell, but I do prefer bottom Jungkook with all my Kook ships. With Jimin, I love seeing him being a really caring, gentle top with Jungkook (playing into that lovely hyung dynamic). Jimin is an amazing hyung and he really does look out for Jungkook. With Taehyung, they’re the meme duo which means it’s a lot more playful but Tae can also be really serious and mature. And of crows we have Yoongi hyung who Jungkook toes the boundaries with (because he can that little shit) but still gives control too. Jin and Hobi, who he can play with but also rely on as a hyung. Namjoon who is his trusted leader and the one he admires to the heavens and back. 

Anyways, I hope I’ve answered your ask sufficiently. If you still have questions, please feel free to leave me another message. Thank you for visiting my blog!