#top/bottom issues

[sunderwight]

I think that one of the most underrated reveals in Scum Villain was that Luo Binghe inherited his big dick toxic alpha male energy from his birth mother, and it actually has nothing to do with his demon side.

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

THoaM Issue 9 PAGE 7

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new to thoam or want to reread the comic but its really awkward to do on tumblr mobile? The official website has got you covered!

[midnight-roses-candy]

Actually very tired of how much femme4butch erotic material depicts all the butches having dicks and all the femmes having pussies. For one, as a top-leaning femme who has a dick I’d like to feel represented once in a while; but for two, the idea that masculine = has a dick/is a top and feminine = has a pussy/is a bottom really isn’t as progressive as you think it is.

[flowerprintundies]

babygirl

[allastoredeer]

The thing that peeves me off about people saying Alastor would never bottom because of his EGO (besides everything you said about Lucifer's ego) is that it also shows such a patriarchal-ly drenched heterosexual view of sex, that they then apply to a MLM ship that drives me INSANE.

They think Top means big, strong man domineering over the small, soft, gentle woman (the bottom) and it's like, that's such a regressive view of heterosexual sex to begin with but now you're trying to apply that to two dudes. Especially two dudes like Alastor and Lucifer, who both have massive egos and other personal hangups that would shine through during an intimate moment with the two of them.

Like, if you think Alastor wouldn't bottom cause he always wants to be in control, but you think control and manipulation can only happen as the top? That the bottom has no power or control over the act? Maybe because I'm ace, but the idea that the bottom doesn't have any control is so weird to me? I'm not even talking about power bottom dynamics either, the bottom controls so much of the act (if it's consensual) cause if they don't like something, it ain't happening.

I dunno. I think it's perfectly fine to have a preference of top or bottom, lord knows I only interact with bottom!Alastor content (I see Al as ace and generally disinterested in sex, so he'd take the position that requires the lease work (in his view)), but I think it's a whole 'nother beast to take that preference and try to force it on other people. I think the people who claim a character in an MLM (or even WLW) ship would ONLY ever top or ONLY ever bottom strictly on the idea of "control" or "ego" need to reexamine their view of sex.

Sorry if this was all over the place, I have so many thoughts and frustrations on the whole bottom!Alastor thing, due in part to the amount of people that comment stupid shit on bottom!Alastor content, but you don't see anyone saying that shit on bottom!Lucifer stuff. ugh

"...is that it also shows such a patriarchal-ly drenched heterosexual view of sex..."

THIS! This here ⬆️ That is exactly it. Everything you wrote is 🤌excellent, but this line. THIS LINE sums it up so perfectly.

Because that's exactly what it is. In almost every patriarchal, heteronormative relationship, the man is seen as the top and always portrayed as big, dominant, and strong. Wheras the women is seen as the bottom, and portrayed as soft, submissive, sweet, and--a lot of the time--naive and innocent.

I hate the patriarchal, heteronormative view's of sex as it is, but GOD, I forget how messed up it is sometimes. It is, as you said, incredibly regressive. More often then not, it creates this unhealthy, pre-established dynamic between two people (usually a man and a women) that completely disregards how they might actually feel about a relationship and what their sexual preferences for a relationship is. And anything OTHER than this pre-established dynamic is seen as "other," or "not normal."

So taking THAT and putting it onto queer relationships just ljsfnlsjgbl it makes me want to rip my hair out.

"Like, if you think Alastor wouldn't bottom cause he always wants to be in control, but you think control and manipulation can only happen as the top? That the bottom has no power or control over the act? Maybe because I'm ace, but the idea that the bottom doesn't have any control is so weird to me? I'm not even talking about power bottom dynamics either, the bottom controls so much of the act (if it's consensual) cause if they don't like something, it ain't happening."

Anon it's like you're reaching inside my brain and pulling out all of my thoughts, and I love you for it.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people use power dynamics interchangeable with top and bottom. Those two things are not the same. Submissive and bottom are not the same thing. Dominant and top are not the same thing.

Top and bottom (and switch!) is a preferred sexual position. Submission and Dominance (BDSM) is a consensual power-exchange in a pre-determined scene between two or more people.

Someone being a top does not automatically give them more power over the bottom. Or, at least, it shouldn't. There is no agreed upon power exchange. The person topping doesn't have more control than the person bottoming, nor should they.

And I completely agree, Anon. I've always been so weirded out, and unnerved, when bottoms are portrayed as not having as much control in sexual situation than tops. It grosses me out, honestly. I find it very icky, especially when it's perceived as the norm.

"I dunno. I think it's perfectly fine to have a preference of top or bottom, lord knows I only interact with bottom!Alastor content (I see Al as ace and generally disinterested in sex, so he'd take the position that requires the lease work (in his view)), but I think it's a whole 'nother beast to take that preference and try to force it on other people. I think the people who claim a character in an MLM (or even WLW) ship would ONLY ever top or ONLY ever bottom strictly on the idea of "control" or "ego" need to reexamine their view of sex."

Not me copy-and-pasting nearly all of your ask (LMAO) but I just love the points you're making. I have no problem with people having a preference for who tops and who bottoms. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and I want people to have fun. Like you, I generally only interact with bottom!Alastor, and so, I leave top!Alastor content alone.

It's when people try to argue that certain characters can't or won't top/bottom, because of a list of stupid reasons they make up, that I start losing my patience. Especially when their basis for who tops and bottoms is judged on ego or how much of a control freak a character is. People are not that black and white. People are complex and multi-faceted.

And, I know, sometimes people just want to read smut. They want pure filth (amen to that 🙏), and enjoy having a specific character be a submissive bottom and the other a dominant top. Just don't try and push that onto other people by arguing against a dynamic that you don't like. It's weird.

Thank you for the ask, Anon. It's everything to me.

[the-meme-monarch]

also it was very nice of the orthodontic surgeons(I'm not sure if it's correct to call them dentists) that they never commented on my yellowed and crooked teeth. however they did put my x ray on the monitor directly in front of me to just look at for the entire time i was there and i do wonder if it was to shame me (/jokey)

anyway hopefully soon i will get my bottom two wisdom teeth taken out

[t4t-pathogen]

⚠️TRANS PEOPLE WITH CALIFORNIAN HEALTHCARE: YOUR SURGERIES ARE FREE⚠️

This official page from the California Department of Insurance states "health insurance policies are prohibited from arbitrarily excluding coverage for gender affirmation services including (but not limited to) hormone therapy, mental health services and surgical services."

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!

[otto-doctavius]

have u seen the post saying that the main thing tying all three dp movies together is wade discovering he is a bottom ……….. 💀

unfortunately yes 😭

[zinc-is-trash]

BOTTOMS CAN HAVE CONFIDENCE okay shippers. listen, a confident bottom can be with a insecure top it exists trust me I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all it's two am and I have a not that weird question for you because there's lightning and I can't do flashing lights so I can't sleep! How do you get blackout curtains on windows that already have those. What's the word. The slats things that go up and down and mostly but not entirely block window light when you want them to? Those! If the window already has those how do you blackout curtains? (are they called blackout curtains? the curtains that completely block light)

[puppyeared]

I made a lmk oc

[w0rnoutsock]

TEHEEE i just saw my fav professor TEHEEE hehehehehehe giggling and kicking my feet heheheh :3 :3 :3c AUHHHHHGGG heheheheh

[constantvariations]

Occasionally a post crosses my dash that discusses white americans' lack of cultural identity being the price for attaining Whiteness, and I have to wonder how much of that loss of identity factors into the lack of culture in RWBY

[kimkhimhant]

it's so funny bc I don't even dislike domtop Kim as a concept if i can find the right flavor of it, but I just find submissive & bottom Kim so compelling

[lexa-griffins]

Would rebel Clarke or any of your other Clarke's develop a mommy kink 👀

Rebel Clarke no, but there are definitely other Clarke's that would 🤭

DA Clarke, jock Clarke and nerd Clarke are the ones that immediately jump out as the ones that would 😌

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.