#tag me PLEASE I WANT TO SEE EVERYONE'S MUSIC TASTE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY GOTH MF IN THIS FANDOM 😭

[s3v3r3dh3ad]

PUNCH OUT FANS, I HAVE AN IDEA. 👁👁

Make a playlist including a song by an artist/band from the country each fighter is from. So for example, try to add a song by a French musician to represent Glass Joe, or add a song by a Turkish musician to represent Bald Bull. It doesn't have to be "fitting" or character accurate, it's literally just a fun thing to do and can also help support artists that might not be as well known outside of their country.💃🕺

Bonus points if you can find a band/artist from the specific city that the fighters come from. I was only able to do that for Glass Joe, Von Kaiser, Disco Kid, Piston Hondo, Aran Ryan, and Mr. Sandman.😭

Also PLEASE TAG ME IF YOU DO THIS I'D LOVE TO SEE IT.😭🙏

[call-sign-shark]

I love your stories! Could you please write some more father figure mav and platonic dagger squad? Xx

awwww thank you so much anon, this one is for you! Me love cute platonic fluff, it's just so heartwarming ;w;

✨ Ohana Means Family ✨

Summary: During a movie night, the Dagger Squad fights over which movie to watch. While observing them, you realize that you, who never had a family, finally found one.

Words: 1k

Tags: PURE FLUFF, Platonic love, family fluff, DadMav and his Dagger kids // reader super close to Hangman

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“But I don’t want to watch a horror movie!” Hangman complains, crossing his arms on his muscular chest. Bob lowers his head, disappointed. 

“You never listen to any of my suggestions anyway.” He says with a little voice, readjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Bob, you ALWAYS suggest horror movies. Last month we did a Saw marathon. And you were the only one enjoying it. Payback almost fainted.”  

“That’s not true! I was just… Just tired!” Payback retorts from below. He is sitting on the floor, holding the bowl of popcorn between his legs. He has already eaten half of it, even if the movie had not started yet.

“What about a Disney?” Phoenix suggests.

“To hell with Disney, it’s been two weeks we only watch Disney movies.” 

“Come on, everyone likes them.”

“The problem is not the movies themselves. It’s Rooster constantly singing the songs during and after the movies.”  Hangman rolls his eyes,    laying on the sofa with his head on your lap and his legs on Coyote's.

“Fuck you, Jake. At least I don’t choose spaghetti westerns.” Rooster growls, also sitting on the floor. He is braiding Shark’s long blonde mane with surprising patience. 

At one point you stop listening to the argument. When a dagger suggests a movie, another one immediately complains. This is a vicious circle. Yet, your Y/EC eyes carefully observe everyone while your hand absentmindedly pets Hangman’s blonde hair. He had just closed his eyes, almost purring at your touch. Sometimes he winces when he hears a movie title he does not like. 

“Star Trek?”

A pillow flies across the room and hits Fanboy right in the face. The WSO shakes his head, looks dagger at Shark, and throws it back. You don't need to listen to the conversation: you know he probably suggested the old Stark Trek movies. After all, that is why you all call him Fanboy. The pillow flies again yet Rooster and Shark slightly tilt on the same side simultaneously, avoiding the pillow. 

“And what about a musical?” 

Judging by the storm of protests, Coyote understands that his tastes in movies are far from winning unanimous support.  You cannot help but smile, your fingers still massaging Hangman’s head. A faint and amused smirk appears on your beautiful lips: It is the same hilarious struggle each night. The Daggers would reunite in the living room and fight over the movie to watch, while Maverick would prepare snacks in the kitchen. Popcorn, nachos with guacamole and cheese, and fresh beers.

You suddenly feel a cold and wet muzzle sniffing your free hand. You take a quick look at your left side, only to see Crashtest’s big face looking at you with his shining beady eyes. His large mouth is open, tongue hanging. You chuckle when looking at the dog and finally run your free hand through the pale fur of his neck. Here you are, forced to pet both Hangman and Crashtest.

Crashtest is a big beige American Pitbull whose owner is Shark, but he quickly becomes the family’s dog. She called him so because, when he was a puppy, he would run everywhere and bump against the walls.

A soft sigh escapes from your lips as you realize that you have found a family.  A broken, small, and weird family… But a true one.

“So, what are we watching tonight?” Mav’s voice echoes in the living room and snatches you from your thoughts. He obviously knows that no one managed to reach agreement. He lays the plates on the table and raises an eyebrow while looking at the young pilots scattered in the room, “Are you serious? Alright. Since you can’t decide…” He pauses and his emerald eyes fall on you, “Y/CS? What do you want to watch? You have the last word.” 

Surprised, you look at Mav, then at the Dagger Squad, and then at Mav again. To be true he had caught you off guard. 

“So?” Hangman asks. He had just reopened his eyes and is now looking at you with an adorable yet slightly cocky grin, his head still comfortably resting on your lap. 

“Lilo and Stitch.” You say out of nowhere, suggesting the first movie that had crossed your mind at this moment. “I want to watch Lilo and Stich.”   You repeat, and this time you are delighted with your choice. It seems like a perfect movie for your adoptive family.

“YESSS!” Phoenix and Rooster exclaim. The dog barks happily, wanting to join the party. Surprisingly enough, everyone kind of agrees with you. Even Hangman, who has complained about Disney movies twenty minutes ago.

“Lilo and Stich.” Mav concludes, visibly satisfied with your decision, before letting his body fall on the huge L-shapes sofa he had bought to welcome all his kids at home. Doing so, he forces Hangman to move in order to avoid getting crushed by him. The blonde pilot growls and, sitting next to you, wraps his muscular arm around your shoulders. The feeling of his warm skin against yours is soothing. With butterflies in your stomach, you snuggle against him. You and Hangman have been closer these past few weeks since you saved his life during a mission. 

As Maverick grabs the remote and scrolls to find the movie, all the daggers join him, Hangman, and you on the couch no matter if they have to snuggle against each other to all fit. Lilo and Stitch’ s intro starts and fills the room with the sweet melody of He Mele No Lilo. Before focusing on the movie, you take a quick look across the room.

Phoenix’s head rests on Bob’s shoulder.

Payback, Coyote, and Fanboy are nudging each other, trying to hold their laugh.

Rooster keeps playing with one of Shark’s braids while her hand gently strokes Mav’s thigh. 

As for you, Hangman keeps you in his arms. Hugging you as if his own life depends on it. His sweet and masculine fragrance tingles your nostrils. 

Another bark: Crashtest climbs on the couch and the gentle brute rests his head on your lap. 

A soft smile stretches your lips. 

They are your Ohana.

[prairietrashdotcom]

eee i got tagged to do a tag game by @mrcrepsley thank you :)

im tagging: @stitchedgrave @laceandgore @r0ttdweller @cherubgore @cannibaldotcom @unfading-scrutiny but if you've already been tagged in this one or dont feel like it its cool. n if i didnt tag u please do it if you want to also.

Do you make your bed? if by make you mean pull down the duvet so it can air out, then yes. dont worry about why that is.

What's your favorite number? 3, 9, 13, 27

What is your job? i have been a sporadically employed hermit for the last four years :( i am starting college again next week though (media focused program) and theres a lot of production-like activity where i live so hopefully in the future that works out.

If you could go back to school, would you? See above, but i do sometimes wish i could go back to my uni in canada, but only if i was single so i could at least try n fuck my history prof at least once

Can you parallel park? no :(

A job you had that would surprise people? i have no idea how i am perceived on here so i dont know if it would surprise people that i've ghostwritten a book and worked as an actor in a haunted house. those were probably the least surprising answers but other than that its just bartending and baking.

Do you think aliens are real? duh.

Can you drive a manual car? i cannot drive any car but im working on it, although public transport here is just decent enough that it isnt, like, urgent.

What's your guilty pleasure? i honestly feel less ashamed of my various sexual proclivities than i do about living for TLC's Sister Wives. watching that chode get left in the dust not once, not twice, but thrice was especially delicious.

Tattoos? i have four. both of the ones on my right arm are bird themed but that was unintentional. theres a little bird on my forearm from The Garden of Earthly Delights' middle panel, and then a lawn flamingo on my right shoulder. the lawn flamingo is heavily associated in Winnipeg culture with the Transcona neighbourhood, where my mom's from and where i lived for a few years. everyone else in Winnipeg clowns on Transcona for being white trash, which is not technically incorrect but its my favourite place. On my left wrist ive got a hand with an eye in it, and then a crescent moon surrounded by clouds on my left shoulder.

Favorite color? pink, black, light blues, ive been really into brown this year.

Favorite type of music? i love music in general, any type can be good as long as the people making it care about it but 80s alternative/new wave/punk will always hit so so good for me. and vintage or alternative country. and 90s alt.

Do you like puzzles? i love doing the nyt puzzles stoned every night but i will die before i give them any money to play them.

Any phobias? someone with prior knowledge of my phobias using them to torture me

Favorite childhood sport? i did kickboxing in my teens for a lil bit n it was really fun :)

Do you talk to yourself? chronically, but only out loud if im home alone or out in public alone.

What movies do you adore? to the surprise of no one; horror, especially trashy b-horror/horror comedy. also whatever The Butcher Boy (1997) dir. Neil Jordan (i will never stop evangelizing this movie please watch it sinead o'connor plays the virgin mary) is.

Coffee or Tea? coffee 100%. i live in tea country however. sometimes its nice but objectively the 'tea' people are talking about here (Barrys vs Lyons) tastes like a hot wet paper bag unless you put 3 teaspoons of sugar in it.

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? either a palaeontologist or a goth, its hard to tell which came first. ironically my mom was much more supportive of my desire to be goth. this is the cognitive dissonance that came with being an early 2000s evangelical christian who listens to Rob Zombie and Evanescence. she eventually relaxed about jesus.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hey bbg you are amazing!!

First just want to check in on how you’re doing, did you drink some water today? Did you eat a nice snack?

Second, I’d like to request a romantic matchup(I think that’s what it’s called) for TR, if you could please!

-I’m a guy

- im an artist, which means i have terrible posture and normally have paint or charcoal or hot glue somewhere on me(hands, neck, etc) and don’t have the heart to clean it off(unless im going somewhere i need to be clean for) because i like the feeling of being part of my art :)

- I cosplay(part of my art stuff ig) mostly one piece characters and I’m pretty good at it—I’m a huge anime nerd, and have memorabilia of it on shelves and on my ceiling(in poster form I swear I haven’t hung anyone from my ceiling yet) and I like to get dolled up on the occasion in my parents’ old Dean Martini Swank Fest outfits which consist of actual army clothing from WW2 and some stuff that makes me feel fancy

- I surf, on occasion, since I live on the west coast and have a habit of wearing a shorty wetsuit under my clothes if there’s any chance of me going near the beach

- I’m working on becoming a marine biologist, but currently I’m just volunteering down in Santa Cruz where I get to help people pet swell sharks and teach them about the animals we have there

-I know a lot about history, and I have some things from the olden days(ex a Japanese soldier’s Sabre from WW2 I got for my 15th birthday + a megalodon tooth + old jewelry

-definitely more of a yapper than a listener

-have to have music or AirPods in my ears 24/7 with some exceptions like my volunteering and my stuff

-very wide range of music taste

- I love thrills. Amusement parks, concerts, roller coasters, go kart racing, MOTORCYCLES omg that is my heaven

-I have a very low pain tolerance, which I am ashamed of because I’m as much of a crybaby as Takemichi…

-super supportive to women. I see one—> immediate compliments, smiling, giving them support or help if they need it and buying sanitary products for all my friends plus keeping them on me just in case

- not very good at taking care of myself, I’m a good cook and have a basic sleep schedule…but I spent most of my life hating myself and now it’s hard trying to get back and go a day without disrespecting myself.(I’m doing so much better than before don’t worry about me)

-physical touch, gift giving, and quality time are my ways of showing affection and appreciation

-I love video games and arcades, especially when I get to play with friends or loved ones

-I’m an Aquarius

-very clingy, but I’m patient so that’s a good thing

-cat person

-very jumpy and paranoid(my dads fault 😒)

-I married Harvey in my main Stardew Valley account(silly little doctor guy)

-decently good at insulting people or getting people to shut up

-my main use of transportation is biking, so I have “very nice leggos” -my eight year old neighbor who i taught to bike

-I’m good with kids as long as they’re not throwing tantrums

-I run out of social battery very quickly and I will just walk off in social gatherings if that happens(it takes 10-30 mins for someone to notice I left smh)

-will bake cakes for everyone’s birthday

-I really want a full leg tattoo of my favorite animal: a Siphonophore(look them up they’re freaky guys)

-ive got freckles, which im partially insecure about because people say freckles+round face makes me look like a girl so i get misgendered a lot(womp womp on my part i got all the bad genes from my parents—thankfully no addiction genes tho)

-I only allow one Christmas song—ONE— and that is Fairytale of New York by the Pogues bcs it’s so good

-avid shark defender + dolphin disliker

-cannot wear anything with a thick tag on the neck, I have to rip it out or cut it because it makes me want to remove my skin :)

I hope I didn’t forget anything or yap too much, love you Aly! You’re the best 😘

Hi! I hope you are doing well. I’m doing better. Making sure I’m hydrated and eating well. This was a good amount of information, but one thing is missing for me to match you up. Do you want matched with a male or female character?

[taephilia]

temporary fix

pairing: kim taehyung x fem!reader

genre: smut, demon/angel au (demon!taehyung, angel!reader)

word count: 2,084

warnings: sexual content (fingering, thigh grinding, hickeys), alcohol consumption, religious themes (specific to christianity), corruption kink if you squint, pov switches

a/n: i posted this on tae’s birthday but tumblr is annoying and didn’t let this show up in the tags so ahaha this is a repost :-)

You don’t know what’s gotten into you lately. The elders believe you’re just going through a late bloomer type of rebellious phase. Your friends think you’re just getting restless because of all of the, what they deem, ‘boring’ humans you’ve had to watch over for the past few centuries. You don’t know what it is but what you do know is that it feels like an itch you just can’t get rid of. It continues to come back and you’re constantly scratching at it, wondering when it will finally go away.

The bass from the music sends a thrum through your veins that you’ve never experienced before and the taste of the drink in your hand makes you grimace but the warm feeling you get in your chest urges you to continue drinking. The amount of heat produced from hundreds of bodies crowded together in one building is enough to cause sweat to run down your back and the smoke floating above everyone’s heads makes the air feel even heavier (whether it’s from these ‘vapes’ that you’ve heard so much of or smoke machines, you’re not sure). You’ve never understood why the mortals would willingly wait in absurdly long lines just to be in a club like this for hours whenever you looked down on them from the heavens. But now that you’re here on Earth, blending in with the humans and experiencing it for yourself, you now see that it’s a thrill like no other.

A hand on the small of your back makes you pause during your way back to the dance floor and when you look up, you’re met with the darkest, most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen. Even in the dim lighting the stranger’s eyes look deep enough to drown in—and it almost feels like you are until they step closer to you and you realize that their eyes are not the only thing beautiful about them. When you refocus, you realize that the beautiful eyes belong to an equally beautiful man with an even more beautiful smile. A smile that’s directed right at you.

“Hey there, angel,” the man greets you, and even with the loud music and shouting, his low voice is clear as day to your ears. “Wanna dance?”

The pet name sends a shiver down your spine and it feels like your head’s about to fall off your shoulders from how eagerly you’re nodding. The handsome man pulls you on to the dance floor and presses his body close to yours, his hands resting on your waist as he helps you dance to the rhythm of the music. If it weren’t for the jarring bass, you definitely would have been able to feel just how hard your heart is pounding in your chest from his proximity and touch. He spins you around so that your back is up against his chest and when you feel his lips press a kiss into the bare skin of your shoulder, you find yourself wondering if this is what it felt like when Eve took that first bite of fruit from the Garden of Eden all those millenia ago.

Taehyung is bored. Humans are just so painfully mundane and predictable; the rich taking from the poor just to stay rich, officials arguing over politics and ethics and good and evil, middle-class people working themselves almost to the point of exhaustion and then consuming absurd amounts of alcohol just to relax. It’s old news, a cycle that they say they’ll break out of—even Taehyung himself said it when he was a mortal centuries ago. So he understands that need to stand out, to seek glory and free the human race from its metaphorical chains. But he’s a demon now and all humans seem to show him is that no matter how much they try to fight it, there will always be a small part of them that will reject the breaking of the cycle. And so it continues; sex, drugs, crime, war. He’s watched empires rise and fall, had roles both in the spotlight and in the shadows, and yet nothing ever changes. It’s comical at this point.

Besides, as much as Taehyung complains about these unfortunately dense humans, they’re the ones that keep him powerful. As long as he keeps bringing back souls or converting people ‘to the dark side’, he can continue to live this eternal life of luxury. Because hey, he’s a demon now so what does he care about breaking the human cycle?

He’s been enjoying his night at his favorite club so far, the large amount of alcohol that he’s already consumed only producing a buzz in his body but the sinful energy tonight is enough to make him feel like he’s drunk. But then something happens; a moment of clarity appears, like a beacon of light passing right by him, and when he looks up, he sees her. An ordinary human to any other ordinary human looking but to his well-trained eyes, he can just make out the very faint light from the halo hovering above her head. The clothing adorning her body only accentuates her innocent-looking features and before Taehyung can even process what his body is doing, he’s making his way over to her and his eyes remain glued to the halo above her head.

Taehyung hopes that by the end of the night, he’ll be able to watch it disappear.

You think you’re getting drunk. You’re not particularly sure since you’ve never had alcohol before but you definitely don’t feel the way you felt at the beginning of the night. But the thrum in your veins could also be because of the handsome man’s hands on your body. Taehyung, he had told you when you asked him his name. When you repeated it back to him, the way it effortlessly rolled off your tongue felt right. Taehyung stays at your side the entire night, offering endless drinks and endless energy to continue dancing with you, and the smile never leaves your face.

Your eyes begin to feel heavy and your body doesn’t feel the same as before but you can’t say that it feels bad, especially with the way that Taehyung’s lips feel on your neck right now. His grip on your hips is tight and when he shoves a leg in between yours and presses his thigh up against you, you experience a feeling of pleasure like no other and can’t help but to throw your head back and gasp.

“Does that feel good, angel?” Taehyung asks lowly in your ear as his hot breath fans out across the side of your face.

All you can do is whimper and nod in response. You want to ask him to do it again, to make that tingling in your body happen again, but the thought of asking for such a thing is enough to bring a warmth to your cheeks. What would the other angels think if they saw you in such a compromising position?

The pleading look in your wide eyes is enough to make Taehyung’s dick twitch in his pants. The crowd is pressing in on the two of you from all sides but Taehyung can’t even bring himself to shove them away. All he can focus on is the feel of your body in his hands and the whimpering sound that he wants to hear again and again. He kisses along the side of your neck, varying shades of red appearing soon after and making him smirk at the possessive marks. You’re like putty in his hands and Taehyung knows that it won’t take much more to push you over the edge and get you right where he wants you.

“Why don’t we go somewhere a little more private,” he suggests, chuckling when you eagerly agree and allow him to lead you to whatever destination he had in mind. That destination being a private bathroom in the back of the club. The guards didn’t even blink an eye when the two of you walked past, perks of having a binding contract with the club owner.

Your hand wraps around his wrist before pulling him towards you, your lips on his in an instant as he picks you up and places you on the counter of the sink. Taehyung shoves the skirt that you’re wearing up your thighs so that it bunches at your hips, the fabric of your underwear on full display—along with your desire that’s soaking through it.

“Please Taehyung, want you to make me feel good,” you beg in an airy whisper. Your grip on his shoulders tightens when he squeezes at your inner thigh and Taehyung has to squeeze his eyes shut to contain the low growl that he was about to let out.

His cock is leaking in his pants but Taehyung pulls away, running his thumb along your jaw before it catches on your bottom lip that’s jutted out in a pout. “Give me a second, angel, I gotta lock the door,” he says as he turns the lock. “Wouldn’t want anyone walking in on us, right?”

When he turns around, he’s greeted by the sight of your parted legs and hooded eyes, your knuckles turning white from just how hard you’re gripping the edge of the counter. Taehyung’s never been to Heaven but if he had to guess, he would guess it feels a little something like this.

He can’t wait to see your fall from grace.

Taehyung’s lips feel too good on your neck. His hands feel too good on your body. He feels too good. Your head is spinning and your heart is pounding and you feel like you can’t breathe because he’s just so close and every bite and squeeze is just too much. Your hands roam around his body, across his broad shoulders, down his toned torso, and land on his hard cock. Even through his jeans it feels warm and just the thought of touching it is enough to make your mouth water.

There’s a voice in the back of your mind telling you to stop what you’re doing, that this is sacrilege, that you can’t turn back if you don’t stop right now—but you don’t want to stop. You want Taehyung to make you see stars, one’s that even God cannot make but he can. His lips detach from yours and you hear him laugh when you chase after them. You want him to keep kissing you, the feeling that you get from it is unlike anything else.

One of his hands slides down your body and lands on the fabric of your underwear, his fingers beginning to rub circles into your clit and you jerk at the feeling. The tingles in your body are stronger than before and the voice in your head telling you to stop gets louder but it’s drowned out by the loud moan that leaves your lips. When you look up at Taehyung, the positioning of his head in front of the bathroom light makes it look like there’s a halo of light surrounding him. But when your eyes meet his, what you see makes you grow cold.

There’s a devilish smirk on his face and a daunting aura surrounding him but his black eyes trigger your fight-or-flight instinct. The voice that was screaming at you in your head is loud, so loud, and you’re wondering if it was a trick of the light but just like that, his eyes are normal.

Two of Taehyung’s fingers enter you and your back arches, your chest pressing against his as he pumps them in and out of you. His gaze is concentrated on you as your face contorts in pleasure, your legs shaking as he brings you to euphoria. His thumb rubs circles into your clit while his other hand shoves your shirt down so that he can lick at your chest. The amount of stimulation is enough to bring you to the edge very quickly, your breath quickening as you approach your orgasm.

When Taehyung looks back up at you, he knows that his eyes are black again but you don’t even notice because your own are closed in bliss. You’re so cute. Taehyung is glad he decided to go out tonight.

“Where is your God now, pretty angel?” he mumbles against your collar, and if you hear him, you give no indication. He has you now. He can’t wait to watch your pretty wings burn.

“Go ahead and fall for me, love.”

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[jaskierswolf]

Hmmm Geraskier Legally Blonde AU. Music major Jaskier follows his long-time muse Chiridean to law school (what, like it’s hard?) but finds him smitten with all-star student Yennefer. Cue Jaskier needing the broody TA, Geralt’s help in not flunking out. Jaskier ends up rocking the high-profile case of Callonetta, even after evil law professor Stregobor attempts to toss him out. (I also needed an excuse to put Jaskier in a playboy bunny outfit. For reasons.)

I am so so sorry this took so long. I almost made it into a longer piece and honestly I may still use the scenes in this to expand into a longer fic on AO3 if I have time but for now...  voila! _____________

Jaskier was tearing his hair out. There was no way he would be able to get the grades he needed to get into law school. He was a musician for fuck’s sake. There were so many words and they were all so boring. The paragraphs blended together and blurred making it nearly impossible to focus. He groaned and thumped his head on the table. He could do this. He wanted to do this. He had just hit a wall. He’d been concentrating so hard for weeks, which was, quite frankly, impressive for him. That sort of focus was usually reserved for his composing.

“Come on, Jask. You can do this!”

He couldn’t do this.

“How’s it going, buttercup?” Triss asked as she popped her head around the door.

Jaskier pouted and gazed wistfully out the window at the parties in the street below. “I should be out there, Triss. I could have been up on the stage or snogging some gorgeous person behind the curtain!”

Triss smirked and put her hands on her hips. “Snogging?”

Jaskier winked. “Or fucking,” he added with a shrug. “Anything is better than this shit!” He said gesturing widely to the the stack of books on his desk.

“You could just give up?”

Jaskier gaped at her and huffed. “My muse!” He whined.

“Suit yourself,” Triss shrugged. “Ready to go again?”

Jaskier groaned but nodded as Triss passed him another test whilst setting an alarm on her phone.

“Go!”

He sighed but began to scribble furiously. He could do this!

__________

He’d fucking done it. Jaskier Pankratz was at Law School. His parents had never been so proud. They’d restored his inheritance to their estate and he finally had access to his bank accounts again. No more living on tips and barista wages for him. He grinned. He’d always known that Chireadan would be the best muse! He strutted down the halls dressed in his favourite black skinny jeans and a shocking pink crop top, his guitar slung over his shoulder and an ice coffee in hand.

It was time for the next part of his plan. It was time to get his muse back!

He smiled and waved cheerfully at his fellow law students as he danced through the corridors, sipping his ice salted caramel latte through a straw. Most of them looked at him as if he was from another planet. Their clothes were black, black and black. Did no one in law school know what colour was? Yes he was wearing black jeans, but his top was brightly coloured and more than a little bit sexy. He’d paired the outfit with some designer sunglasses, a gift to himself to celebrate his reunion with his credit card, and a pair high heeled ankle boots that laced up at the front. His fashion sense was just wasted on these clever folk.

He sighed dramatically and glanced up at the doors. He was absolutely not lost. It was just… nothing was very clearly marked. Perhaps that’s why you needed all the extra tests to get into law school, even getting to class was a fucking exam.

“Are you alright?” A deep gruff voice asked. “You look lost.”

Jaskier spun around and peered over the top of his sunglasses. His jaw dropped. The man in front of him was fucking gorgeous. He had the most beautiful silver hair that was pulled into a bun, revealing a sneaky undercut on either side of his head. He was wearing a black turtle neck that was a tad too tight and stretched over hidden muscles, and on his face were a pair of thick black rimmed glasses. It shouldn’t have been so sexy but holy mother of fuck. Even the ratty old tweed jacket looked good on him.

“Lost in your eyes maybe,” Jaskier winked and bit his lips.

“Hmm.”

And then he turned and walked away. Jaskier pouted. The man must be straight. There wasn’t even a blush on his face, either that or Jaskier was losing him game.

Nah. It wasn’t that. He looked fucking hot and he knew it.

Jaskier hurried after him and placed a hand on his arm. “Wait! No. I’m sorry. I am lost, like actually lost and not just in your eyes, although can I just say,” he gestured to the man’s body. “Wow. What colour are your eyes? Yellow, no golden… doesn’t matter. They are gorgeous.”

The man raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m Jaskier by the way. Jaskier Pankratz.” He held his hand out to shake but the man ignored it so he ran his fingers through his hair instead.

“What class?”

“Oh umm, excellent question,” Jaskier stuck out his tongue and he dug through his pockets for his schedule. It was already coffee stained and torn in the corner but who gives a shit. “Professor Stregobor?”

The man let out a weary sigh and pressed his fingers to his forehead. “Fuck.”

Jaskier tilted his head and put his free hand on his hip as he sipped his coffee. “Why ‘fuck’?”

“You’re not going to last two minutes. Follow me.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened. What was that supposed to mean? “Oh hang on!”

“Follow me.”

Jaskier’s jaw snapped shut. He hadn’t even made it to class yet and he was starting to regret everything.

_______________

“Come on…” Jaskier drawled as he rest his chin on his hands. The table was sticky and covered in beer but he ignored it. He had a job to do. He jutted out his bottom lip and widened his eyes at Chireadan.

Chireadan like everyone else in this damned party was dressed casually in a rather lovely blue jumper and chinos. Jaskier, who had been invited to the party by one Yennefer Vengerberg, was wearing a black corset, fishnet tights and a ridiculous pair of bunny ears. He should have known better than to trust Yennefer. She was fucking gorgeous and a phenomenal lawyer but she had taken a dislike to him. It was shame. He was pretty certain that under different circumstances they could have been friends. She was just ambitious and did not hesitate to trample on others to get what she wanted. He respected that.

It just had a few unpleasant side effects. Like turning up to a non-costume party dressed as a playboy bunny. At least he looked cute.

“No, no. Out of the question!” Chireadan said in his adorable little accent. It was what had drawn Jaskier to him in the first place. “I’m just not interested anymore.”

Jaskier let out a soft whine and batted his eyelids. “But I need you, you’re my muse!”

“Well you’ll have to find a new one. I’m done being fodder for your terrible songs.”

And like that the spell was broken. Jaskier gasped and sat back in his chair. “I. You. What?!” He shrieked.

“It was just one love song after another, and none of them even made sense? Do you even know how to rhyme? And we’re not even in love.” Chireadan huffed. “I want a girlfriend and I can’t do that with you trailing after me acting like a lovesick puppy. No. Julian. We are done.”

“Oh no. We are not done because you say so. We are done because you are a terrible muse with fucking awful taste in music. I cannot believe I wasted years on you!” Jaskier snapped. “I was just trying to repay you for saving my life but you. you.. ungrateful swine!”

“You’re acting like a child.”

“I’m a musician! I’m allowed to be dramatic!” He yelled and stood up, kicking the chair out from underneath him. “Yennefer Vengerberg will never love you. You’re wasting your time.”

“I know,” Chireadan sighed wistfully. “but I love her.”

Jaskier scoffed and fled the house. His pride was wounded. Not only had Stregobor called him a talentless fool who would never succeed in court, his muse, his precious muse had insulted his songs. He was fucking done with it all. He should never have come here.

His eyes stung and his throat ached as he bit back a sob. “Fuck!”

He shivered just as a heavy coat dropped around his shoulders. He touched the fabric in the dark; tweed. He smiled into his lap; Geralt. He felt Geralt sit next to him silently and he rest his head on Geralt’s shoulder.

“I spoke to Yen,” Geralt said in a low whisper. “I’d like to say she’s sorry for the costume joke.”

Jaskier chuckled. “Of course she’s not.”

“No.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Geralt grunted.

Jaskier sighed dramatically as he looked up at the stars. “What am I doing here, Geralt? I’m a musician, not a lawyer, and apparently I can’t even do that right.”

“What? Who said that?”

“Chireadan,” he whined.

“He knows fuck all,” Geralt growled.

Jaskier sat up and stared at Geralt in disbelief. “Does this mean you like my music, Geralt?” Geralt scowled and refused to meet his gaze. “Oh come on, I’m having a shit night. Humour me?”

“I like your music.”

“What do you like about it, three words or less?”

“Jaskier,” Geralt groaned.

“Please!”

“It’s catchy.” A pause. “And I like your voice.”

Jaskier swallowed as he tried to remind himself how to breathe. He was certain it was the booze and Geralt actually being nice to him for a change but he suddenly had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. He cupped Geralt’s face, turning it gently so he was looking at Jaskier. “Thank you, my dear.”

“Hmm.”

Geralt’s eyes flickered down to Jaskier’s lips. There was no mistaking that and even in the dark Jaskier was pretty sure he could see a blush on Geralt’s cheeks. He was fairly certain that if Geralt didn’t kiss him now, he might die. He licked his lips and tilted his head at his friend. “Geralt?” He asked quietly.

Geralt hummed, the ever present scowl on his forehead deepening. “Yeah?”

“Kiss me?”

And he did. Then he did it again, and again, until Jaskier had forgotten all the sadness in his heart because all that mattered were Geralt’s lips against his. __________ Tag list: @alwenarin @slythnerd @davidtennan-t @flippinfricks @innocentcinnamonpun @marvagon @elliestormfound @geraskier-trashh @panerato @moonysourenza @artistsfuneral @victorieschild @hailhailsatan @wherethewordsare @havenoffandoms @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @electricrituals @geralt-of-riviass @00qtee @kittynannygaming @stinastar @scribblesonmapleleaves @thecomfortofoldstorries @fontegagrilledcheese @anythinggoesfandoms @veritasrose @trickstermoose67

[many-gay-magpies]

@loabivey @honeyseungz @angelhee @ofaffectionate @yixiangs @cherry-riki

so uh. heyyy <3

pt 2 (technically pt 1 because it happens before) of blood bonds is here!! tagging everyone that i tagged for blood bonds (except for kyu </3) bcs why not

i'm not 100% on this, but that's mostly because i've been staring at it for a week, and y'all haven't, so i hope that you'll enjoy it thoroughly more than i do

wc: 1.7k, tw for blood, blood-sucking, death and mentions of death, and vague descriptions of a car crash. same as the last one pretty much, let me know if there's anything i missed!

that being said, have some bloodlust.

It's a scent that stops him in the middle of the street, blaring alarms through every inch of his body—thick and sweet, intoxicating, like the richest chocolates and tenderest meats. For a second, it brings him back to his days in the castle; feasts coating tables upon tables in every decadence he could imagine. He hasn't felt that kind of indulgence in a long time.

Jungwon is immediately aware of his instincts overcoming him; he knows what the smell is, he's smelled it coming off the other boys enough times to be familiar with it. But not this strong. Never this strong.

His head swims. Stars cloud his vision, and yet everything is ten times brighter, more crisp; his senses sharpened, sensitivity heightened. Jungwon battles with himself for a moment, there, on the side of the road, watching the car with the contents of it's driver's seat smelling so delectably like food as it drives by; no, no, don't give in, don't succumb, you've made it so far already, just hold on a little bit longer—but the gut-wrenching hunger inside him is like none he's ever faced before.

It tears at him, the unbearable hunger, the emptiness; twists his insides into knots and makes him double over against the brick wall beside him. He doesn't want to give in, doesn't want to take, doesn't want to hurt—but he's so, so hungry, and it smells so, so good and he just can't take it anymore. It's a kind of longing that burns him from the inside out, and maybe... maybe it wouldn't hurt, to... to give in, just this once.

He's hungry. He needs food. Really, when he thinks about it for long enough, rationalizes it in his mind, that's all there is to it. Lions don't feel bad when they hunt gazelle, do they?

(Something is different here, though. Lions, unlike vampires, will stop. Lack of food will make their body grow cold, their energy sapped until there is nothing left; they grow tired, bodies moving slower and slower, until they breath their last breath. Vampires do not. Vampires will not stop. The hunger depletes them, eats at them, and then when it can eat no more it consumes them completely—writhing black hole taken ghastly, human shape. Death evades them, and so they become death in it's place—emptiness so great it would eat the whole world if it could.)

So, with his resolve melting as his hunger rages, Jungwon presses onward—taking advantage of the scenery's sudden clarity to slink towards the moving car at a truly frightening pace. Plus, it could be... fun, he finds himself thinking; fun, to play around a bit, see how much fear he can truly instill. In the past, Jay and Sunghoon's jokes to Sunoo to "not play with his food" when me mentioned spooking his victims the tiniest bit before feeding had left Jungwon feeling sick to his stomach—but now, the idea doesn't seem so bad.

A voice in Jungwon's head (the more logical Jungwon; the one that isn't starving, the one that's still on the edge of rational) tells him, you're being stupid, as he throws caution to the wind and teleports directly in front of the car. Someone could see you, do you even have any idea what you're doing? But the voice of hunger rises above all others, and Jungwon, smirking at the screech of tires on asphalt as the car skids to a stop in front of him, tells the voice, it's dark out, and we're in an abandoned part of the city; who, really, do you think could see us?

The voice protests, but the drone of Jungwon's hunger drowns it out. He feels cool metal on the palms of his hands, hears the metallic clang of his boots against the car's hood. The trembling of the man inside tinges his nerves with delight.

He raises his finger to his lips in a single gesture, shhh, and wonders if his eyes gleam red.

Thoughts run one by one through his mind, though they are fleeting, like mice; skittering into the darkness as soon as he catches sight of them. He should have listened to the hyungs, he should have been more careful, he shouldn't have waited this long—he knows the consequences of vampires going too long without blood from Sunghoon's stories, how could he have been so stupid?

But it all fades, irrelevant, in face of what sits before him now—food. A meal. Satiation, finally, an end to his hunger. He can feel his conscience slipping away more and more as the moments pass, the little Jungwon in his head letting go of it's logic.

It is with this quieting of the rational voice and sudden booming of the instinctual one that Jungwon teleports himself to the back seat of the man's car. It doesn't take long for him to be noticed—even the lack of his reflection in the rear view mirror cannot disguise the creak of expensive leather and the sigh he lets out.

"Jesus Christ--" the man nearly shouts, car jolting forward as he slams on the breaks. Jungwon doesn't flinch. He turns to look over his shoulder and meets an unblinking vermillion stare. "W-what the hell are you, kid?"

"Go on, guess," he says, brow raised. "I have all night."

Though even as he speaks, Jungwon knows the statement is a lie—he's the closest to the man, the closest to a human he's ever been since turning, no plexiglass or metal barrier between them—the smell of the man's racing heart and pumping blood chokes his senses like smoke, so thick he can barely breath. Jungwon doesn't know how long he'll be able to hold out—but he can feel how the seconds tick by, as if there's a pocket watch embedded in his skull. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Agonizing. Even so, Jungwon delights in the fear, the rabbit-quick pace of the man's heart. Equally as amused as he is overwhelmed, he decides that quickening it a little more won't hurt, and smirks, doing well to lick over his fangs in perfect line with the man's eyesight.

"Shit--" Eyes widen comically, and breath grows shaky with the reckless fumbling at car door handles in an effort to escape, pure, cold fear jolting through bones and bringing goosebumps to unsettled skin. It's useless, though; because all the doors lock, jammed shut, and the most he can do is huddle as close to the door as he can, as far away as possible from the boy with glowing eyes suddenly perched in his passenger seat.

"Surprised?" Jungwon asks with a grin.

The man gulps. "Th-this isn't happening," he mumbles, eyes focussed somewhere off in space, past Jungwon. "This can't be happening to me. This... this is impossible."

"Oh, it's very possible," hums Jungwon. "You'd be surprised to find out how much is." And he smirks wide again. He probably looks like a madman, but he doesn't care. He can taste the man's blood on the air.

"Please, don't kill me," he whispers. "W-whatever it is you want, I'll do it, just-- I don't wanna die. Please."

Any other day, the pleading would have gotten to him—any other day, Jungwon would have cried and screamed and torn at his own skin at the prospect of ever killing anyone, let alone drinking from them. But now, the logical him (the human him, he thinks for a moment) has been tucked into the deepest recesses of his mind, and the sound is like music to his ears.

"H-have mercy," the man stutters quietly.

Jungwon tilts his head. Mercy? a voice in his head whispers. It is a voice he hardly sees himself in, and yet it consumes him completely. There is no mercy. You are only prey.

It's funny how suddenly it hits him—how long he's waited for this, and how he can't stand to wait a second more. Faster than lightning Jungwon blinks on top of the man, pinning him down; the protests (physical as well as verbal) make no difference to him. He searches for a carotid artery with shaking fingers and, once he finds it, sinks his teeth in with a groan.

The car swerves in a panic, and the sound of it crashing into a streetlight is a distant ringing in Jungwon's mind. Everything is muffled, as if he's been thrust underwater, and he might as well have, with the way the smell and taste of blood blooms around him, inside him. He feels himself wanting more, needing more, craving more, the hunger never-ending as he sinks his teeth even further into his victim's neck.

Nothing else matters in that moment, and he knows, now, he knows what the others were talking about—how good it feels to feed when you've starved for so long.

His victim loses consciousness soon after that, but still Jungwon drinks. He can't find it in him to stop—it tastes so, so good and he's still so, so hungry, and it seems his hunger only grows the more he feeds; every bit of blood he drains, the sickness and lethargy drains away with it, leaving a hunger larger than he had known behind. Eyes closed, the world spins around him, and Jungwon can feel himself slowly revitalizing as he drinks, and drinks, and drinks, and drinks.

Jungwon loses track of time the longer he sits there.

The hunger is less ravaging, now, only a low growl in the back of his throat; and soon it peters out entirely. The body under him has grown cold—it's warmth taking new ownership. He feels the stolen blood and pulse humming under his skin.

There is plenty to worry about, he knows—plenty things he should, realistically, care more about than he does. But for the life of him he can't pick out what they are, buried beneath layers of cotton he doesn't care to reach through.

His mind is heavy with fullness, and heavy with sleep, and for the second time that day a little voice in the corner of it urges him to just give in—so he does.

[writing-wh0re]

HOLY MOLY! 

It’s happened, I have hit 1,000 followers! When I joined back in February I did not expect to even make it to 100 followers, let alone 1000. This is incredible, I love you all so much and cannot thank you enough. I’m so glad you all enjoy what I create, I enjoy writing for all of you ❤️

  So with that being said, I have come up with a little writing challenge for you all  ❤️  Rules:

✏️ You don’t have to be following me to participate in this challenge, however it would be amazing to see what my wonderful followers can produce! ❤️ Otherwise a reblog of this post would be very appriciated!

✏️ Must be a reader-insert, considering this is what my blog consists of. 

✏️ Can be any of these characters that I write for: Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Draco Malfoy. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Spiderman - Peter Parker, Loki Laufeyson. Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, Tom Holland, Tom Hiddleston.  Billy Hargrove. MGK (Colson Baker). Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester. 

✏️ Blurbs, One-shots, Imagines and Series are accepted. If you do write a series please create a masterlist or include previous chapter links. 

✏️ Smut is prefectly okay, however please ensure you include warnings on the chapter and a ‘read more’ insert. (Over 18′s only, please ensure your characters are of age as well.) 

✏️ Any other genre is fully accepted, this is time for you to let loose and explore different ideas / concepts! Include any and all warnings at the begining of your fic!

✏️ This should go without saying but no PEDOPHILA, R*PE, RACISM OR INCEST ALLOWED. (You will be blocked if this occurs.) 

✏️ Choose one prompt from the list and send me an ask (Ask box only and off anon please) of which one you have chosen and the character you’ll be writing it for. Only one person per prompt - first in, first served. 

✏️ A crossed out prompt means it has been taken - once a prompt has been written the author will be creditied beside it. 

✏️ If the word prompts don’t excite you, I have also listed a few different AU concepts / Tropes and have provided different songs (with links) for you to write about. Same rules apply - one person per idea. 

✏️ No minimum word count however anything over 500 words please insert a ‘keep reading’ break. (Ctrl - Shift - K on windows computers)

✏️ Not mandatory but just to make it easier for me please bold the prompt you use within your story! Please also list which AU / Trope / Song you choose. 

✏️ Hashtag your writing with #writing-wh0re-requests1k

✏️ Please tag me once you have posted your fic so I don’t miss it! @writing-wh0re 

✏️ Due date: July 4th, 2021! (In your timezone) I hope that’s plenty of time for you to get creative x  However if you’re creating a series and need more time, please message me. 

✏️ After the 4th of July 2021, I will create a seperate masterlist to make it easier for everyone to find. 

Prompts are below the cut. 

Prompts: 

1. Really? You’re choosing them over me? @meph1stophelian

2. So I mean nothing to you? - @midgardianweasley

3. Do you ever shut up? @pengwengs-writing

4. Have you been drinking? @annyadawson

5. If you had just asked me, I would have. 

6. Shut up for a second. 

7. Do you not understand what I’m trying to say? 

8. Kiss my ass. @harleytonks

9. Fuck you, pay me. @rosietoesy

10. Can we not make this work? 

11. Um, how about go fuck yourself. 

12. You didn’t seriously say that? Did you? 

13. Play nice. 

14. This means the world to me. 

15. I can do this, with or without you. @stxvercgersslut

16. If you don’t do as I say, you’ll die. 

17. You’re marrying him?  @classyhorseeclipseduck

18. I can’t believe you. 

19. Get it through your head. 

20.  We’re just friends. 

AU Prompts: 

1. Sibling’s Best Friend AU

2. Roommates AU

3. CEO AU

5. Professor AU

6. Body Guard AU

7. Prince/King AU

8. Sailor / Pirate AU

9. Apocalyptic AU

10. Vampire AU @skarlettmikaelson

11. AU of your choice. @samineisntmyname

Song Prompts (enjoy my mixed music taste): 

1. Leave the Door Open - Bruno Mars

2. Drunk Face - Machine Gun Kelly 

3. Dangerous - LEFT BOY

4. Heat Waves - Glass Animals

5. Daddy Issues Remix - The Neighbourhood

Tropes: 

1. Blind Date - @horrorxweasley

2. Forbidden Love

3. Long-Distance Love

4. Secret Relationship

5. Love Triangle

6. Fake Date / Fake Dating. 

7. Enemies to Lovers

8. Friends to Lovers

I tried to give you a variety of options! I hope you all enjoy what you create, I know I will enjoy reading it all. Thank you again for your amazing support, love and encouragement. Stay safe in this crazy world! xoxo

Don’t forget to tag me in the stories and #writing-wh0re-requests1k 

Tagging a few mutuals who may want to join / will reblog for me  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@maybesandohnos @gaycatlord-stuff @midgardianweasley @horrorxweasley  @justadreamyhufflepuff @hufflepuff5972 @mathletemadison @black-like-my-soul @harleytonks @meph1stophelian

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 5

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Revenge is sweet but a well-timed dick joke is sweeter. xoxo gossip girl. Please supervise one Bucky Barnes on the internet. Questionable music taste. Detention is the price we pay for justice. Bruce Banner is too precious for this world, too pure.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​ @downeyreads​ @hermione-grangers-wife​ @individualistfem​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! 🎶🎵I love you biiitch ain't ever gonna stop loving you biiitch 🎵🎶

"Initiate phase one," I added a growly undertone to my whisper, holding my phone inconspicuously, as if I was making a simple phone call. There was no answer but I didn't expect one: I was testing the voice recorder app that I had downloaded for the sole purpose of documenting and relaying the inevitable fall of one Flash Thompson. 

Making my way through the crowd of students during the busiest time of the day, I made the most intrigued and outraged facial expression I possibly could. Spying my targets, I leaned against a nearby wall, putting a hand over my mouth in fake outrage, keeping my eyes wide and trained on the opposite wall. Just as I had predicted, the two sophomore girls started giving me side-eye by minute two of my staring and finally approached me as I contemplated the wall for whole five minutes.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" The brunette asked, her blonde friend hanging a step back.

"Yeah, totally," I mumbled. "I'm, like, shook beyond imagination, but nothing, like, bad."

The girls traded a curious look, seemingly coming to some sort of conclusion. The greedy gleam in their eyes had me internally cheering. "What happened?" The blonde one asked, coming closer.

"I'm not sure if I should tell that to anyone," I stammered, watching them bodily move forward. "Well, okay, I can't keep quiet. But you must never, ever speak of it or I'll get expelled or something," I said nervously. They both nodded so rapidly it reminded me of Funko Pop figurines. "You know the senior guy, Flash? Brown hair, kinda hot?" Again, they both nodded, conspicuously grinning. "I think I just saw him in the closed girls bathroom on the third floor with, like, some brunette from Ms. Johnson's History class," They both gasped. Predictable. "But that's not the worst! They were like, y'know," I made an obscene gesture with my hand and they instantly covered their own mouths with their palms in shock. "And the chick was like 'is it in yet?' and he was like 'yah' and I just closed the door and ran, oh my god I hope they didn't hear me," I squealed at the end, playing the part of a mortified teenager.

All three of us giggled uncomfortably for a moment. The blonde girl stared at me suspiciously. "And what were you doing there?"

I faked a nervous stammer, looking around briefly and showing them my lighter for a moment. They both gasped and nodded in recognition. "Don't tell anybody or my mom is going to have kittens," I pleaded. Both of them nodded solemnly, noticing their own group of friends approach. I used the brief moment to get lost in the river of pupils and by the time they turned around to introduce me, I was already at the opposite part of the hallway.

For the time being, everything seemed peaceful. There were a few giggles and side-eyes directed towards Flash Thompson but nothing out of the ordinary. He was disliked by most of the student population even if nobody dared to admit it outright. I took care to walk around without my earbuds for the day and pulled out my phone to record the most interesting conversations around me whenever I caught the tell tale signs of a gossip mill beginning to run its course around the school.

"Oh my god, I heard about this girl that was caught fucking Flash in the girls bathroom and she literally said 'is it in yet', can you imagine the shock, jeez!"

"Some chick literally just rejected Flash because his dick was too small."

"Rebecca from AP chemistry told me someone saw Flash's micropenis. Poor guy!"

"I wonder if his girlfriend dumped him because he can't do shit, I mean, he doesn't look like the type to eat the kitty."

Those were just the highlights of the Friday afternoon. Come the weekend and the news of Flash's unfortunate condition will make the rounds through every single group chat that the school has and by the time Monday rolls around, nobody will have a clue who started the rumour in the first place. I had to carefully select the girls who were to distribute the rumour and I was happy with the outcome: Marissa and Layla with their squad of chatty, bored rich girls were the perfect choice. I thought they would jump at any opportunity to cause drama and I was right.

It was sufficient to say I was bristling with pride as I cut and compiled the audio track from today's school day before sending it to the group chat.

Clint, Peter and Natasha appeared online as soon as the message delivered and I was delighted at their response. Romanoff's kind words, specifically, made me all warm and mushy inside. I didn't resist the feeling, basked in it even as I did a happy dance around my room. Peter's nonsensical string of emojis was another point of laughter for me. 

It wasn't exactly the smartest way to go about killing Thompson's reputation... Alas, simplicity is the way to success when it comes to large crowds of teenagers. That tiny little vindictive part of me was very much looking forward to the weekend and the results of the inevitable distortion of the rumour I had started. Who knew, maybe by Monday Flash Thompson would not only have a micropenis but horns and hooves as well.

Near bedtime, I had all the avengers send me their regards and thumbs up. I answered the flurry of texts as quickly as I could but there was no point in keeping up with ten or so people constantly streaming their questions, opinions and comments. 

I settled on a single easiest response: pulling my dad's old uni sweatshirt over my tiny lacy pajamas to preserve some modesty, I settled in front of my mirror, turning on my Bluetooth speaker to play "Boss Ass Bitch". In true gen-z fashion, I put on my best resting witch face and solemnly lip-synced to the song's eponymous chorus. My eyeliner was sharp enough to cut paper and my prismatic highlighter glittered enigmatically in the cold light of my blue lava lamp.

The response was, once again, delightful and I genuinely belly-laughed at the adults' attempts to meme after Peter. His blushy face emoji started a whole nother conversation that I didn't participate in but watched from the sidelines with glee, snorting every time his friends and mentors gently teased him about the very obvious crush he harboured on me. 

Seeing Peter starting to go absolutely nuts, I interjected with an offer (more like a dare) of a lip sync battle. He jumped on the bandwagon, immediately going offline to undoubtedly film an epic video of what I thought would be dorky-dancing to some hipster song. I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a pre-recorded tik tok video of him and Ned fighting with lightsabers while mouthing the words to Fergalicious that played over the Imperial March.

Weirdos. I still followed him on the app, though, it was pretty funny.

Bucky interjected with a very well executed rendition of "Bring Me to Life": he was wearing his full Winter Soldier get-up, complete with an AK-47, dramatically serenading Steve who looked seventeen shades of done with his partner's antics. Wanda's following twenty second voice message consisted of nothing but pure hysterical laughter, summing up everyone's reaction to the video. Bucky was going to go viral one of these days...

Obviously, I had good competition and nobody else seemed to want to participate so I rearranged my surroundings a little bit and stood up at my full height and swapped the old sweatshirt for a cute crop-top hoodie. My thigh-highs were on display and with my make-up, I looked like a proper internet e-girl. I leaned against the mirror as I mouthed along to the song with my best interpretation of the famous Lucifer smirk, seasoned with a tiny bit of angelic innocence: "Doctor, doctor, give me the news, I got a bad case of loving you..."

Needless to say, I won the competition. Eventually Wanda joined in, looking menacing and ominous with her dark clothes and Natasha's red hair flashing somewhere in the background; even Tony did a round (AC/DC as his soundtrack of course) with one of his Iron Man suits but nothing beat my stunt and the reaction that it caused.

I had accidentally called out Bruce with the choice of my song and his teammates gave both of us a lot of cheeky comments about it. We relented and flirted with each other a bit as the conversation flowed into more mundane discussion; I said my good nights somewhere between Tony's bitching about the hobbies of my generation and my nightly skincare routine. The little green heart that I'd become accustomed to over the past few weeks greeted me just as I was about to lock my phone.

Bruce was really too precious for this world. My crush on him was different than the one on Tony, it mellowed out in comparison. I wanted him to hold me, to stroke my hair, to call me his darling and wrap me up in one of those dorky button-ups that he insisted on wearing in spite of Tony's unwanted, however very valid, fashion advice.

For all that's worth, the scientist probably knew or at least suspected and had the good grace to play along just enough to satisfy my deep need for attention... Without crossing any actual lines. It was frustrating, it was disappointing but I had virtually nothing to complain about. Besides, I didn't want to lose the quirky friendship that we had. Banner was, probably, the least judgemental person I knew and I wasn't about to trade that for an awkwardly stolen kiss.

Monday and Tuesday passed in a flurry of giggling and snorting every time Flash walked by. His girlfriend broke up with him, very publicly, accusing him of cheating and he didn't even deny it - just insulted her and stormed off, leaving even his friends looking lost and clueless. I started dragging Peter and his two pet nerds along with me just about everywhere I went in case Thompson decided to do something stupid again. If judging only by the looks he was throwing our little company, he was on his way to figuring out who began nibbling at his reputation.

The week was coming to an end and the rumour began dying off, slowly. That just didn't sit with me, I wanted the fucker gone. Due to the obvious time constraints, I approached MJ regarding Peter - after a brief argument, we came to an agreement regarding Peter's safety should I need to leave him alone in the hallways or at lunch. 

I needed to do this alone so if I got caught, I won't drag them down with me. Granted, I would probably get something like a suspension and the school will attempt to call my mother (she never picks up) but that's about it. That's where her reputation comes in handy-people consciously avoid dealing with her, she can be that unbearable.

But first, I needed to get a teacher that's on my side. After carefully considering the candidates, I settled on my Social Studies professor - he taught the college-level classes and was overall a very chill, nice dude. And he disliked bullies with a flaming passion. So it didn't take me long to work him into a righteous fury - just a quick chat over a cup of tea in his homeroom and a few pictures of Peter's bruised face, complete with my own pleading puppy eyes. We agreed Mr Davies would "accidentally" leave the teacher's lounge unlocked during third period and I would sneak in. The plan wasn't foolproof but if it worked, not only Flash, but also his whole misogynistic, bigoted family would go down.

As I was leaving, Mr Davies looked up at me with a bright smile: "Give them Hell, alright?" And I suddenly noticed he was, in fact, very attractive. The smile brought out the fine wrinkles around his mouth, the crow's feet around his eyes - he smiled a lot. Silver strands mixed in with the wooden brown of his hair.

I let my eyes slide over him briefly before baring my teeth in return. "I owe you one," I don't know what possessed me to say that. My mouth really had a mind of its own sometimes. The room suddenly became hot.

"Sure," He replied, totally oblivious.

On Friday, I made myself a small nest in the empty classroom opposite the teacher's lounge and sat waiting for the signal from Mr Davies - he'd tap on the door once and I'd quietly go inside the teacher's lounge, retrieve Thompson's file and make my way back to the empty classroom to grab my backpack and carry the file to my locker for further examination. 

The first part went successfully and I managed to snag Thompson's file. It was heavy and hefty, all the evidence of his rowdiness compiled into one flimsy plastic folder. There were A LOT of pink slips and I rejoiced internally: at least there was a paper trail of his exploits. The principal didn't do anything about it which was... If not against the rules then at least frowned upon; the plan was to take copies and anonymously submit them to the school board prompting at least an investigation into the blatant disregard for Flash's immoral and illegal behaviour.

On my way back I stumbled upon the principal herself which got me not only a stern talking to, but a whole detention for skipping class. Whatever, I was too elated from potentially ruining the life of a dumb fuck who ruined my friend's face.

Surprise came in the face of Mr Davies, who, having heard the commotion in the hallway, stepped out of his class and saw me being lectured by the principal. 

"I'll take her for the detention," I heard the familiar voice behind me. The principal nodded solemnly and I had no choice but to sigh in resignation. "Three thirty, be here," He nodded to me, walking back, looking way too smug for his own good. So I wasn't the only one excited about the successful completion of stage two of my nefarious plan. Cue evil laughter.

[little-ideas]

Birthday Bash

ABSOL-FUCKING-LUTELY AND HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY EMIIIIII❣💞💖 ☆*✲ o(≧▽≦)o ✲*☆ 

Thank you for letting me pester you about ideas and things! I had a lot of fun, so I hope you enjoy <3

They wondered if you knew.

When you had first started helping them plan out birthday parties, the Mankai members had severely underestimated your love for them. Quickly, they learned not to come between you and a birthday. Soon, some members would be infected by your energy, some served as your grounding, and others tried to stay clear away to not involve themselves in whatever chaos creations the universe was fostering. “Always better to have a few people who can feign ignorance,” they reasoned.

But now…now it was your turn. And for better or worse, you shared a birthday with Banri Settsu. During the past month, you had seemed to be particularly giddy for the approaching day, so they told him to up the excitement: it was his birthday and he could legally drink, of course the day was going to be amazing! They hoped you would buy it -Banri’s being a brat that acted like the world was blessed by his presence- so all the extra stuff wouldn’t seem out of place. It meant, of course, that they had to let you assist (and all knew you would find a way to whether they asked or not), but they hoped you wouldn’t catch on to their questions or to the things that seemed way more aligned with your interests than his. Even with all their acting and careful planning, it was times like these when you would become astutely perceptive and see through them, so they spent the whole week on guard.

Thus, the day came, and when you had not uttered a word about your birthday plans, they breathed a sigh of relief. They were safe. But now you were over helping to add the finishing touches, and they needed to set up for you, too. So, off you went with Settsu to do…something for the next few hours, he could figure it out. Arcade? Shopping? Buying the last packs of summer fireworks so he could light them right outside of Sakyo’s door in the middle of winter? Whatever was necessary to keep you out of the dorms (though you had to stop him on that last one. It was, after all, why you were asked to accompany him. “The Brat likes to get into trouble,” Sakyo had said. “You’re good at dealing with kids like him.”) Soon, though, it was time to go back, and upon entering:

“SURPRISE!”

A PARTY(ies): Round 2 starts when alcohol’s introduced

May be more chill if you decide to hang out with the adults or if Kaz gets drunk, but only ever so slightly and not for very long

Since you and Banri have the same birthday, they’re celebrated together

Banri does not shut up about being older than Juza

Omi consults you for preferred flavors + sweets + dinner and spends the whole week cooking. He has to fend off everyone else, but if you’re around, you’re allowed to sample (he’s gotta know if you approve after all)

For anyone else, Sakyo would say no to the amount of money being spent, but you have a special place in Mankai (though in reality he’s just redirecting from Banri’s birthday funds. He’s petty)

Natsugumi oversees decorations and music. If you and Banri have vastly different music tastes, then good luck. There will be no transitions, just musical whiplash

Homare will not stop waxing poetry. Your love for birthdays is infectious and he has been so inspired ever since you started planning

Literally the BEST alcohol selection available. Don’t question it. If you prefer cheap stuff, that’s cool too!

Azuma will never reveal how much/how rare some of the bottles are

“It was free,” he says, and for him that’s probably true.

Game night! Some weird rendition of monopoly laser tag and you WILL lose even though hardly anyone knows what they’re doing

Karaoke is a must. Fights ensue over the songs, but you are always granted the next turn if you want a go. Duets encouraged

You thought it would be a 1-day celebration? You thought wrong. It’s an all-weekend affair. Be prepared to borrow someone’s PJs.

You might sleep, but you highly suspect others haven’t. Azami is trying his best, but the boy needs a break. Please humor him and do your skincare diligently

Dress up corner! You’re not sure how you end up with shades and a feather boa posing as super-secret spy agents with Kaz and Taichi, but that’s just how it goes!

You may be older now, but that doesn’t stop them from giving out goodie bags. You get 2:

The “adult” one filled with alcohol samples, nice skincare, a couple tickets to their next performance, and high-class sweets that you should not ask the total value of

The “kiddy” one with 3 packs of bubbles, a squishy alien friend, a sparkling yo-yo stretchy hand, a set of the fireworks you swore you made Banri put back, and enough glitter to last a lifetime

This doesn’t include the mountains of leftovers and presents you get

If you insist that you can’t finish all the leftovers yourself, be prepared to be visited by the kids who simply cannot stomach another night of curry. Please, Izumi, it’s been 96 hrs of curry they would like something else

Surprisingly, you seem to only have 2 slices of cake to take back with you. From 2 cakes so large you might have sworn they were wedding cakes. They said it’s all they had left.

Sakyo was begging you to take them

Suddenly the weekend of fun makes so much more sense

You’re pretty sure certain members only ate cake that weekend

Omi tells you not to worry about it, he had it covered

Next year maybe you won’t let things get quite so crazy, you tell yourself. But you did have a lot of fun.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Kitten Heel

Fandom: DC Comics

Summary: Roy meets Jade in college and she offers to help him study chemistry in exchange for help in her music class. They develop feelings for each other, but Jade disappears after the semester ends. Nearly a year later, Roy catches a glimpse of a woman with a baby getting on the train. And she's wearing his bracelet...

Chapters: 2/?

Characters: Roy Harper, Jade Nguyen, Dick Grayson, Koriand'r, Ryand'r, Karras

Relationships: CheshRoy, DickKory, KoryKarras

Additional Tags: College AU, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Falling in Love, Complicated Relationships, Arranged Marriage, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Single Parents, Good Friend Roy Harper, Past Drug Addiction, Past Torture, Breaking Up & Making Up, Trust Issues, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Two: Film

Roy burst into the dorm with a smile on his face. "You. Me. Tonight. My truck-."

"Please tell me where you're going with this before it gets weird," Dick interrupted. Roy flashed two movie tickets. "I can't go tonight."

"What? Why? You love the drive-in!" Roy shouted.

Dick nodded and sighed. "Yeah, but I can't go tonight. I've gotta pack," Dick replied. He handed Roy an envelope.

"What's this?" Roy questioned as he sat next to Dick. He tapped the envelope against his knee. Dick leaned forward, hiding his face in his hands.

"An invitation to Kory's wedding," Dick replied.

"She sent you an invitation?" Roy questioned. Dick shook his head. "Who-?"

"Her brother. Kory's brother sent me an invitation to her wedding," Dick mumbled. Roy frowned.

"You're going?" Roy asked. "You kind of have to go now, don't you?" Dick shrugged.

"I'm gonna go... It doesn't mean I'm okay with it. Maybe if I see her, I can talk her out of marrying him," Dick replied, "Get her to do something for herself once."

"For herself or for you?" Roy questioned. Dick scoffed and stood up. He packed his suitcase, and Roy chewed his lip. "Don't go over there causing trouble. You're going to their country. So you play by their rules."

"The same rules that forced Kory into literal slavery-."

"Dick, you're allowed to disagree with how they do things but try to be respectful. It's not gonna help Kory if you go over there acting like... yourself," Roy warned. Dick glared at him. "You're a confrontational person by nature! I get that, and so does everyone else, but you cannot go somewhere you don't belong picking fights."

"I am not confrontational!" Dick shouted.

"You got in a fight with me the first time we met, Dick," Roy replied as he stretched out on the bed. "I like that you're a jerk sometimes. It keeps our friendship interesting... But you're an acquired taste for a lot of people."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Roy," Dick replied as he zipped his suitcase.

"Do you want a ride to the airport?" Roy offered. Dick shook his head.

"Joey's coming with-."

"You invited Joey? Wow... Okay-."

"You couldn't go even if you wanted to. You've got your Chem exam coming up," Dick replied, "And Joey doesn't give unsolicited advice. Are you gonna be okay while I'm gone?"

"I'm fine... Are you gonna behave yourself when you're in Tamaran?" Roy questioned.

"Try not to fall into bed with the nearest breathing brunette," Dick returned as he took his bag and moved toward the door. Roy stopped him.

"That's easy. I've known you and Garth for years, and I've never slept with either of you-."

"Like I'd ever let you hit this," Dick joked.

Roy scoffed. "Like I wouldn't rock your world," Roy kidded. Dick shook his head and laughed as he left the dorm. Roy rustled a hand through his hair and sighed before calling Jade.

"Hi, Roy. We don't meet until Saturday... Did something come up?" Jade asked.

"No, well-. Yeah, but I'm not calling to cancel. I'm calling to see if-."

"Please don't ask me on a date... I'm sure you're nice, and you're-."

"What if it wasn't a date?" Roy replied.

Jade laughed. "And how isn't it a date?" Jade asked.

"I only asked you because my best friend bailed on me... And I won't share my popcorn with you. I won't even dress nice," Roy replied. Jade laughed. "Am I selling this outing to you, or are you laughing at me?"

"Both," Jade chuckled, "What are we doing on this not-date?"

"We're going to the drive-in," Roy replied, "And I can pick you up at school... I have to put my shoes on and meet you wherever."

Roy slipped his feet into his shoes, holding his phone between his ear and shoulder. "What are we going to see?" Jade questioned. He heard her open a door in the background.

"We're going to see Yes Man," Roy replied, "Where do you want me to meet you? The movie starts at seven."

"I'll meet you by the dorms. I was about to go on my run anyway," Jade replied.

Roy nodded and made a soft noise. "Good. I'll see you in thirty minutes for our not-date," Roy replied.

"Definitely not a date," Jade repeated as she hung up the phone.

*

Roy stood in front of the dorms with his keys in hand. He rolled his shoulders back and stretched until he felt a tap on his shoulder. Roy turned around to see Jade in grey joggers and a cropped sweatshirt. "Ready to say yes?" Jade asked. Roy rubbed the back of his neck, taking a deep breath before chuckling.

"You could've tried to look gross on our date. Do I need to go change or something?" Roy joked.

Jade shook her head. "You better not be lying about hogging the popcorn," Jade teased as she followed him to the truck.

They drove in near-silence until Roy remembered to turn on the radio. "I wouldn't hold it against you if you chose to speak to me," Jade teased.

Roy nodded. "How'd you do on your music appreciation quiz?" Roy questioned.

"Great, actually... Thanks for asking. Ready for our Chem quiz next week?" Jade returned.

"Hopefully, I will," Roy answered.

"I'm free again tomorrow night if you want to study. I've got nothing but time now that I've got that quiz out of the way," Jade offered. Roy smiled and nodded. "See, talking doesn't have to be romantic in nature."

"Yeah, well, I'm still not sharing my popcorn with you," Roy joked. Jade chuckled.

"Good, I don't like popcorn. I like nachos," Jade replied, "And I don't share my nachos."

"I can't believe you eat movie theater nachos," Roy half-joked, "I'm so glad this isn't a date."

"And I'm gonna eat it with my fingers since we're not trying to impress each other-."

"Hey, I can not-date you way harder than you're not-dating me," Roy interrupted.

"Wanna bet?" Jade questioned.

"Ten bucks says I can not-date you way better than you can not-date me," Roy replied. Jade scoffed.

"You're on, popcorn boy," Jade laughed.

[sasskarian]

First Line Meme

I was tagged by @asaara-writes. Thank you, my dearest! <3 

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

My Heart and I -

If there’s one thing about Evelyn Swann that the entire Commonwealth knows by now, it is her love of music. Silence does not mark Evelyn’s arrival anywhere— instead, the soft tones of Billie Holiday do, crooning about mountains moved for love. Or the sultry voice of Lady Day herself, Ella Fitzgerald, floating around her and the companions like a bubble of the past, dreaming on into the future. Heavy footsteps beat out a tempo contrasting Butcher Pete and his big old ‘knife’ and everywhere she goes, she trails ribbons of jazz and cheer.

Like Afterimages - 

The settlers call her a survivor. Sanctuary calls her a savior. Codsworth cries when she returns from the wastelands, dragging in another minute— heh— victory for the Minutemen, or another rescued synth she doesn’t tell anyone about. But Mama Murphy just calls her a ghost.

That’s what she is, after all. Just a two hundred year old ghost. Like a mirage, superimposed on the darkness, burned into immortality by nuclear fallout and tragedy. Evelyn is only sometimes here, those dark gray eyes a pair of rain clouds on the distant horizon, drifting on invisible fronts. The thunder is inside of her, too, a raging storm swirling in her chest, beating fists made of babies crying and gunshots rimmed in frost ringing out against her ribs.

The Thrill of Your Hand - 

Danse has been a soldier too long to be a deep sleeper.

That’s the first thing the Brotherhood trains you out of. The indoctrination comes later, because only a good soldier can be indoctrinated, and a good soldier has to wake up at the first hint of danger. So when he hears the first whimper from across the room, his eyes snap open.

Paladin’s Bubble - 

The Commonwealth is quiet tonight.

It’s not silent, by any stretch: Evie can hear the hounds in the distance, their mutated throats sending their boofs echoing through the streets of Boston even from a long distance, and somewhere— a mile or more— the whoop of a raiding party rises over the station’s lookout, too far away to do anything but pity the poor prey they’ve caught. Dogmeat grunts, his paws pushing against her armored thigh as he stretches. His ears are perked, though, so he’s just catching some rest while he can. Even the thwomp-and-hiss of her partner’s power armor is missing from the darkness, the red light of his scope the only thing highlighting his face in their little bubble of quiet.

After the Glitter Fades - 

“If there is a future to be had,” Fenris murmured, his lips hovering near Hawke’s, “I will walk into it gladly at your side.”

His gorgeous green eyes were fixed on hers and Hawke fumbled for a moment, a half-smile playing across her mouth as her fingers played with the crumbling stone behind her. Silly, but part of her almost wanted to believe him. With the smallest sound, Fenris leaned in, his gauntleted fingers sliding through her hair as he kissed her— it started out soft, a chaste brush of warm lips and warmer breath, but within a couple of heartbeats, it deepened into something that promised wildness and fire.

Glitter: Marginalia - (E)

She can’t remember what dragged her awake— only that it left a sour, desperate taste in her mouth like old coppers and the cheapest bottle of whatever would get her drunk enough to sleep.

Waking up with nightmares is nothing new. The Amell curse, as most of the Kirkwall film crews call it, has yet to hit Hawke directly, but it had taken her father (a stunt gone wrong) and her mother and uncle (an unlucky intruder)– had struck Carver, too. She and Garrett and Bethie are safe, so far, but it's only a matter of time until it circles back around. The curse is a generations-long predator, still and patient, and it will hunt them down one at a time if it has to  

Ah, Kirkwall, she thinks, some blend of annoyance and fondness and adrenaline mixing uneasily in her heart. You fuck with us again and again and still, here we are.

He Might Like That - 

“So. Let me get this straight.” Greef lifts his bad knee with a groan, settling it over his other leg so he can sprawl a little more indolently. Din’s HUD focuses in, shows the elevated temperature in the joint in a dark red, and he turns it off with a flicker of his eye. Greef lifts his glass again, takes a sip, and gestures with it before continuing. “You two. Not together?”

Where I Can’t Follow - 

The day Geralt of Rivia dies, he hears the whistle of the sword which almost kills him. There’s a series of tiny holes stamped along the spine of the blade, keeping weight down and adding a sinister shrill hiss through the air on each pass. The raiding party - if it can be dignified with such language - are nearly all armed with similar steel, with hunting horns, rattling chime-spangled shields, and bullroarer slings wailing and droning like an oncoming swarm of giant wasps. The effect is deafening, overpowering all efforts to coordinate the various companies on this mission.

Malicious Compliance - (M)

So this is how it feels to have a galaxy tremble at your feet.

Not just the galaxy, though— millions of lives shuddering under the weight of your boot on their necks cannot compare to the half-lidded gray-blue eyes drinking you in like you’re his salvation and damnation both. No, there is power in this, in these stolen moments with him, that rivals nothing else you’ve found anywhere among the stars.

He’s a brave man, your Captain.

Counting the Days (since Exegol) - 

“That’s good, Finn.”

Rey smiles, feeling the Force ebb and flow around Finn as he manages to lift himself a few inches off the ground-- along with the meditation mat, two glasses of water, and the plate of snacks they keep for anyone who comes to visit. Finn cracks an eye open, smiles back at her, and lands with a thump. For half a moment, she almost expects him to be disappointed that his training is progressing slowly: hyper-competency is a Stormtrooper trait he’ll never outgrow.

Star by Star - 

The galaxy looks different now.

It’s not just the cautious celebrations still happening, weeks later. And it’s not just the way people step back from her now, too much reverence in them for her comfort. It’s in the way she looks at the sky and sees the color of Luke’s eyes, and the gentle wind that feels so much like Leia’s hand, she cries. The way that Poe’s back straightens at the podium, broadcasting Republic news to everyone, and Finn’s hand clutching his under the table, their life forces bright and right in her senses.

Stardust and Memory (and a little bit of romance) - 

“Wow.”

Jaal chuckled against her ear, hands firmly on her waist; a good thing, probably, or she’d be on her face on the floor. “It is… a lot, I know.”

“No!” Sara protested, only wilting when Jaal tilted his head at her. “...okay, maybe a little. There’s just— a lot of them?”

Scars and Holes and Broken Things - 

Whispers follow him wherever he goes.

What’s left of the crew whispers in the halls, the mess, on the bridge, and conversations trail off when his ghost walks through, haunting the only place that's ever felt like home. Whatever they’re saying doesn’t matter, though—he doesn’t care. He’s too tired to care. He hasn’t slept more than his body demands in weeks. Tali’s immune system has already begun to destroy itself, and even though the Normandy is stocked with more dextro rations than it’s ever carried before—

Almost like Shepard knew. Always prepared, that’s my girl.

Heart of the Woods - (E)

You left the Templars, but do you trust mages? Can you think of me as anything more?

Less than a fortnight of sweet words, gentle touches, and stolen kisses are the only weapons she could levy against the trauma that shaped a man’s youth. And for a moment in time, Isera hoped.

Common Ground (isn’t so hard to find) - 

“Skkut! Ryder!”

“Sorry, Enroh— oh!” Sara tried to stop, bounced into a low bench, and crashed into a pile of bruised, groaning Pathfinder on the other side. At least this time, she remembered to shield her head as she skidded to rest against the wall. Lexi would be pleased. Another concussion would get her put back under the scanner and that just ruined everyone’s day. “...ow.”

A Language Reserved for Lovers - (M)

The first time you touch him, his skin flushes red; the first time he touches you back, he trembles. Interesting, since if there is a word to describe him, it is steadfast. But there is more beneath the easy surface, beneath the deadly grace and unflagging stamina. He is loyal, and good, and so fascinating under the burden of his name. But nineteen is a young age, even if you're only a little older, and he seemed so young at first, unsure and innocent— then he gave you that crooked little grin, and stole your heart with it.

Every Beautiful Thing - 

I would prefer to be Mary Shelley. She died a widow.

Despite a foolhardy counter, thrown in indifference and pride, Edith never really thought she would be a widow. Despite her foolish quip so many years ago, she is no Mary Shelley. And despite moderate success as an author and teller of stories, the only thing she and Shelley have in common is a belief in a world outside of the everyday, and widowhood.

Yesterdays - 

He’s always thought she was invincible.

Sure, Morrigan told them the truth of the Archdemon’s death, an account more grisly and heartbreaking than the one Riordan gave; just the sort of tale that might ensnare a young boy’s heart, give him delusions of grandeur, while an older man might look upon it with resignation. But the truth doesn’t sink in until now.

If You Ever did Believe - 

“There are people dying,” Isera repeated slowly, as if she could make her advisers understand what she'd seen. As if giving her memories voice might lift some of their weight in her heart. “We couldn’t even get to Redcliffe because of the fighting.”

Three days of being stuck on a horse, only to have to turn around after three skirmishes— their first mission to the Hinterlands had been a remarkable experiment in failure. Isera had learned her skills at the hands of the best of her clan, had fought alone for years, and yet the shock of tripping over Varric and accidentally hitting Cassandra with a ball of ice had made their first fight a near loss.

Some saviors, Varric had laughed afterward, staggering around like baby nugs.

Glitter: Velvet over Veridium - 

If anyone had ever accused Marian Hawke of being a reasonable adult human being, she might have laughed at them. No, she'd have pointed and then laughed at them. But under all her bluster, and all her immature jokes, her dirty one-liners and cheesy pick-up lines, there was an adult hidden in there somewhere.

Okay, maybe I put more than one opening line, but I have a thing for context, dammit! 

This got so long -- mobile users, I’m sorry omg. 

Forwarding the tag (no pressure as always!) to @mayihavethisdanse @athreehundredthirtythree @thebisexualmandalorian @natsora @loquaciousquark @valdomarx @theggning @cullywullycurlywurly @systlin and @third-rail-vip 

[jingyismom]

got tagged by the wonderful @mylastbraincql to post 10 Things About Myself, which, are there even 10 things other than cql and writing fanfiction??? let’s find out

1. i don’t want to be one of those people who are like ~i love languages~ but...i do. oops. i’m only fluent in english and french (my college degree), but i’ve put work into at least the basics of...well. this is under a cut so let’s just go: latin (a whole minor’s worth), greek (classical and modern), mandarin, american sign language, spanish, german, sanskrit, and arabic. i particularly love medieval french. i kind of wanted to be a linguist but academia is a hellscape, so i’m just a hobbyist language learner and that’s pretty fun. i need to really work on my spanish and start korean next, but right now my brain is deep in mandarin mode (thanks c-dramas).

2. i wish i had the tenacity and drive to be a musician. i love playing music, my mom started teaching me when i was 4 so i should be super good right? wrong. i still play piano like a 4yo. string bass is my ~instrument but it’s been years since i played it seriously. i am mediocre at guitar and an enthusiastic but unstudied singer. maybe some day i’ll put real work in again but for now that executive dysfunction’s a real bitch, so even thought i am a Music Person, singing in the car is about as wild as i get.

3. i was a substitute teacher for 4...5? years. 4 years of regular substituting here after 1 year of working as a language assistant/substitute english teacher in france. teaching is excellent fun and i love it dearly but the field of education is currently pretty soul-crushing in the US, so i have been trying to figure out what...to do.

4. the town where i lived in france was where jeanne d’arc was captured (i was already a huge fan, and getting to kneel where she prayed her last free prayer was...something. i’m not even religious), and one town over from pierrefonds, the castle where they shot bbc’s merlin. alas, they had just finished shooting the final season when i got there. but it really does Look Like That. once, when i was bringing some friends to see it, we missed our stop and got off the bus at a countryside cemetery (i am a goth, this is my jam), and walked back to pierrefonds, since it was a sunny day. until it started hailing. we took refuge in a spooky, empty church from the 1100s and got to explore some of its catacombs and reliquary. it was an absolutely perfect day.

5. i have never not been a Big Fan of something. i have an entire shelf of Tolkien volumes that has lived in my room since the 6th grade. i used to go to warped tour and san diego comic con every year. i have slept on the sidewalk in line for things...many, many times. but this is somehow the first time i’m...trying to participate in the fan community? trying to contribute and talk to people? it’s wildly nerve-wracking but also SO rewarding because everyone? is so? nice??? i love you all

6. i’m a distant cousin of George Gordon, Lord Byron, and EXCEEDINGLY proud of this fact. he was so ridiculous, and stupid, and marvelous, and queer. sometimes i’m like, it couldn’t have been wilde? or shakespeare? but i do love my horrible cousin. it was shocking studying in athens where they have actual monuments and museum exhibits dedicated to him...i was like...this guy? this drug-addled sex addict? okay...okay, good for you, cuz.

7. really all i want is to make people laugh. i feel like i come across weirdly stiff on the internet, and i have apparently horribly intimidating vibes with new people, but really...i am basically just jack black. i don’t mean that positively or negatively it is just neutrally true. i am a clown.

8. i wish i had cool physical skills like martial arts or dance or even a sport but...my body is...uncooperative. i am not necessarily clumsy or uncoordinated i am just Too Tired. oh, and also i have a funky little arm birth defect which is mostly unnoticeable, just makes me a bit awkward and painful. instead i do grandma things like knitting and sewing, which are cool in their own way. it’s very satisfying to make something with your hands. i’ve made an entire (simple) ren faire costume and edwardian ballgown, as well as lots of various odds and ends. oh and i’m pretty good at makeup! i did wedding makeup for a friend, and not in a “wedding of questionable taste” kind of way. i did lots of research and several practice runs and it was all a very classy vintage affair.

9. if you ask me to pick between books and movies i Cannot. i just...love stories. i love seeing them and hearing them and reading them and telling them. there’s nothing better or more important than stories. whether it’s pacific rim or hamlet, philadelphia story or dogsbody, i cannot live without it.

10. i used to work as a street character at a renaissance faire. please do not hold this against me. if you want some ABSOLUTELY WILD stories (”baaa means no”), just ask

this was wildly difficult and i feel like it swings wildly from depressing and self-effacing to ridiculous bragging but i would like to see my mutuals do it anyway! i’m just gonna randomly tag @valarinde @milkcrates @universesvisiting @cendiar @habibinasir @fapamir if you want a fun little distraction but seriously if you see this and want to do it, i tagged you! you’re tagged!

[raypakorn]

so i don’t make many text posts mostly because i get very nervous so i talk myself out of it and then either just submit it to my drafts or delete it all together. might happen with this too....who knows 🙈 . but if it doesn’t....yall should know my love for you is just that great that my own head couldn’t sway me from declaring it.

given my inability to use social media to be...social...i’ve never really had mutuals before this year even though i’ve had tumblr for forever. it’s also been awhile since i’ve really even participated in the true fandom experience and it’s been a ride. a ride that helped immensely during this year when a lot of things were real shitty. a lot of that help was more because of my dear mutuals that i’ve made over the year. i’ll get in my feelings about a few of them below as given that i am shy and an anxious mess i haven’t talked to all my mutuals but i do see, love, and appreciate all of you! so if you’re not mentioned please don’t take offense. and i’d love to talk to you, i’m always here if anyone ever needs anything!💛

@hidden-joy 💙 .... my mutual who has been my mutual before i got mutuals😂. liz i say it all the time but you have my heart! i truly can’t ever thank you enough for everything that you’ve brought and continue to bring to my life with your friendship. our connection via the braincell we share is one of the most comforting things i have in my life! i’m happy that in this universe we made all the right decisions that led to us being able to connect.

@tsjernobyl 💜... emma, it’s no secret how much i adore you. i’ve told you before that your my comfort blog and that still stands as i can always count on you to make me smile, laugh, think, or just blow my mind with your gifs/art. you really have one of the biggest hearts and it’s a blessing to get to see you display that on the daily. i always feel very honored to receive any of the love that you put out into the world.

@welcometo-saturn  🧡....my fellow gemini & birthday twin, you are one of my favorite people to have on my dash, in my asks, and dms. doesn’t matter where i see your url çağrı, my heart is just happy. your sense of humor always speaks to me and your music taste is supreme. i’ve loved watching your journey through your editing/giffing and i really can’t wait to see what else you’ll attack me with! i’m glad that we both decided this was the year to make some mutuals because i’m so happy to have found you. 

@luxandobscurus ​ 🎬... first off caro, you’re just one of the sweetest people around and it’s been a pleasure getting to know you through our various interactions. secondly, you’re so talented it just floors me sometimes that we’re mutuals. like to get to be a mutual with one of my favorite fanfiction writers is just wild to me. i really can’t wait to see the other au’s you have planned! also you bless my dash with one of my favorite children, so there’s no way that i cannot love you 🥰.

@zoesrobbe ✨ ....if i’m being completely honest jovana, you were my most shocking mutual addition as in, i was completely thrown off that you started following me back. only because with everyone else i think some sort of ask or something happened before they did but with you i just opened up my notifs and there you were sjsksj. i had one of those moments where i was like ‘wait...what? why? i have nothing to offer her but my silly little blog’ 🙈. but i’m also more than happy to be mutuals with you as most of the time when you reblog something especially text posts i’m like SAME. and of course your gifs, they always look so AMAZING and have provided much needed serotonin throughout the year!

@sonderthroughthestreets  💕 ....there’s a reason your tag is talented tasfia because you posses so much of it! not only do you bless us with your art, you’re also one of my favorite sobbe writers! truly just one of the most delightful people i’ve come across. and there is also the fact that i always appreciate the tags you leave on my edits, it just makes my heart all warm to know even just one person enjoys them!

@nyttvera, @mirroroferisedx  💐 🍁 ...vera & agatha i don’t want to make this as long as a book but you two also deserve love as being a part of the pack who have made my year. as a share of the goodness from my year came from our interactions in asks or tags as well as the things you created. i’m so happy to be able to call both of you sweet and talented individuals my mutuals!

other mutuals that are amazing and helped me find some serotonin this year... @sander-klaas (so talented that you inspired me to pick up writing fanfiction after years), @driesenrobbe (becca you’re the coloring master and i’m always blown away from the things you make), @kehlanies (nicole’s talk tag is always a highlight on my dash), @sanderxrobbee​ (you delivered a couple of really unique sets & i can’t thank you enough for the delightful comments on my fic), @alwayskissmeatnight & @earthlingeliott (both of you talented individuals provided me with a lot of my favorite skamfr content)

[dcbbw]

Sneak Peek Sunday (8-23-2020)

I know for certain I was tagged by @sophie-and-shizuku​, and I think I may have been tagged by @bebepac​. Honestly, I have not had a lot of time to work on anything because of work obligations but I do have a fic ready to post and a handful of almost-there WIPs; fics that if I just sat down and added one more section, or did a final read-through on, I could post.

For Sneak Peek Sunday, I present to you my They’re Almost Ready list.

Boomerang (Un-Romance AU):

Maxwell.

I wonder what he is doing here. Then I hear his voice carry over my partition.

“Hey, Reebee,” he says, using his nickname for me.

“Max!” I say a little too loudly and a lot too cheerfully.

He steps to my ‘doorway’. “I come bearing treats,” he announces as he holds out a brown paper bag in one hand and my pink drink in the other.

I tell him to come in, and he plops in the guest chair before handing me my drink and cookies. I place them on my desk and roll my chair around so I’m facing him. I eye him appraisingly: Maxwell looks good. He’s still slim with a head full of gelled hair; his face is still handsome in an odd way. Maxwell is the type that is always animated: eyes flashing and sparkling, a permanent half smile lifting one corner of his mouth, hands moving.

A man in motion.

Right now, his leg is jiggling while his fingers tap and dance against his pant-covered thigh.

“What brings you here?” I ask curiously.

“I dropped Pen off this morning and walking her to the elevator, we ran into Lynn going on a coffee run.”

I freeze momentarily. Maxwell dropped Penelope off? “You and Pen?” I ask in what I hope is a casual tone.

He nods happily. “I ran into her at a pet shelter a couple of weekends ago. We talked some, grabbed some lunch, and we’ve been … hanging out ever since.”

“He was looking for a peacock!” Penelope offered helpfully from her cubicle.

I nod slowly. “Hanging out,” I repeat.

Max’s eyes grow wide as he takes in my expression. “It’s not like that.”

We stare at each other. The yet is unspoken. 

Ghosts (Damien/Kai/Hayden ):

We were eating dinner in the living room. America’s Most Eligible was on, and for whatever reason, Kai and Hayden absolutely love that show. There were shrieks of laughter and finger pointing at the television set while I watched them absently, barely tasting my dinner.

Hayden noticed my lack of scoffing and reprimand and looked at me quizzically. “Are you okay, love?”

Kai put down her forkful of food to look at me through narrowed eyes. “Does this have to do with that client? What’s the job, Damien?”

She is neither suspicious nor jealous, just protective. Kai doesn’t love deeply or passionately; she loves fiercely.

I sip some cold beer. “I don’t know the job yet. I have to meet with them to find out.”

They both look at me skeptically. I shrug. “I just … I don’t know. I feel disconnected and I don’t know why.”

Except I do. I’m lying to the two most important people in my life, after mom and siblings, because of a man who left me three years ago. Over a phone call. I didn’t hear from him when I was heartbroken. I didn’t hear from him when robot assassins and a crazy man were trying to kill me and my friends.

No, he waits until I’m happy again to call. And I answered.

Love in a Time of Betrayal:

The light in the room was muted as the late afternoon sun filtered in through the closed window blinds. The heavy damask curtains were pulled open, tied back with cords of silk rope. They reminded her of an opera box.

Her hands ran down the front of his shirt, frantically pulling buttons through their holes; the diamond on her finger sparkled in the muted light of the room. The fabric was soft beneath her fingertips. Silk? Often washed cotton? It didn’t matter as she pulled the shirt from his broad shoulders. He let out a low laugh at her eagerness, his hair falling across his forehead in an endearing way.

She couldn’t wait to run her fingers through it.

The man pulled her closer to his bare chest, his short curly hairs matted to his skin. She breathed him in: pinecones, green grass, cognac. A hint of leather. Her lips found the crook of his neck and placed a kiss on his collarbone. He responded by planting a kiss in her hair.

They were star-crossed lovers, their hearts and their fates always at odds. The very Universe telling them constantly that they were not to be together, yet their bodies spoke differently.

Their love spoke differently.

She wondered if what they shared was lust or love, and always decided love. Lust could be sated, but her feelings for him never were.

He knew he loved her, with every fiber of his being. But he saw the signs: every chance they had at happiness was snatched away; sometimes cruelly, sometimes subtly. Either way, the pain was the same:

Deep. Hurtful. So intense not even the sweet release of death would alleviate it.

But here they were again, under the most trying of circumstances, attempting to right their world the only way they knew how.

The Queen’s Friendship:

The woman and Veronica were sitting in a dive bar, eating burgers and drinking beers. It had been five years since high school graduation, and their group of friends had disbanded:

Brenda’s mother had died soon after graduation, and she and her siblings had sold the house and divided the money. Brenda moved to Richmond, VA and had gotten a job with the state government. She was expecting her first child any day.

James had gotten a football scholarship from Auburn University. He played well, but not well enough to be noticed by the NFL. He was working as an accountant in Birmingham.

Michael D. had joined the Army.

Michael B. had moved to DC to attend Howard University and was applying to the police academy.

Shirley was in nursing school, and roommates with Rosalind, who was now a cosmetologist.

Ryan had gotten a degree in Physical Education Teaching and Coaching. He had always liked sports, but not playing them. He was waiting to hear back from the school board about a coaching position.

Veronica had gotten her meeting planning certification and was now looking to get into real estate.

The woman had her degree in Office Administration, along with the rest of the world. She had applied to several places but had yet to hear back.

Veronica dipped her French fry in ketchup as she studied the woman’s face. “I need you to be there! We’ve been friends forever and I want you to be my maid of honor!”

“You and Ryan are getting married?” The woman repeated her friend’s earlier statement, feeling foolish. Why, she wasn’t sure.

Veronica leaned back, tapping her nail against her chin. “I thought you were over Ryan?”

“I am! I am!” the woman hurriedly reassured her lifelong friend. “I just … wow, life is moving fast.”

Veronica nodded as she sat up straight. “It is, but it’s right, ya know?”

The woman nodded, but she didn’t know. She didn’t know how right felt. The two friends finished their meal, and on their way out, the woman saw a sign hanging on the wall: Now hiring waitresses, all shifts.

How I Met Your Wife:

The Duchess stopped fussing long enough to allow Yu to greet her deferentially; Riley smiled at the pretty, slim waitress and asked if there were a more private dining area she and her friends could enjoy their lunch. Yu arched an eyebrow; already the waitress held resentment against the Duchess. Of course she would want to lord her power and position over everyone else.

With a grunt, Yu led them to the private dining area reserved for large and/or private parties. Once the group was seated, Riley grasped Yu’s hand. “Thank you so much for accommodating my request. My appreciation will be reflected in your gratuity.”

Yu looked at the Duchess with a touch of incredulity before saying, “It’s the least I can do given that the King is offering the orchard workers some relief. I have family members who are affected.”

Riley looked at the waitress with concerned eyes before rummaging in her purse. “What are their names?”

Yu gave her the names before leaving the table with menus. She didn’t expect anything to come of it, but at least the new Duchess gave good lip service. She returned with the tea service in time to hear the Duchess on her phone arguing with someone who had to be the King.

“NO, you CANNOT return to the manor, Liam! And NO ONE is coming to the Palace! How in the HELL are you going to suggest WE use the SAME BAKER you and Madeleine were going to use?”

Silence as the Duchess listened to whatever the King was saying.

“I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY ARE THE ROYAL BAKERS! DO I LOOK ROYAL TO YOU?”

Yu hung back, not sure what to do. Riley smiled, and waved her over. “I am going to find a local Valtorian baker for the cake.” Brief silence. “IT ISN’T OUR WEDDING CAKE! I have three people, possibly four, with me RIGHT NOW who would LOVE to be the Duke of Valtoria! Don’t worry about who they are!’

More silence, then the Duchess hung up the phone. She looked at Yu. “The King will be joining us. Please send him here when he arrives.”

Coronation:

I run my hand through my hair while keeping the other on the steering wheel. The car is quiet, too quiet. I turn on the radio and a melancholy song fills the sedan.

And I bruise when you leave the room I never liked the way it felt Keepin' my hands to myself, mmm

Like some magic moment of which I'm not quite sure I wonder if you've ever been in love like this before You'll be scared when I possess you But you'll want me all the more

The music doesn’t help because my brain is filled with questions and images. There’s not enough room for the music and I impatiently turn the radio off. My phone rings; my hand fumbles on the passenger seat and I pull my eyes from the nearly empty road long enough to see it’s Beaumont calling and press the speaker button to answer.

“Yeah?” I growl as I check the speedometer and press a little harder on the gas pedal.

“Drake! We got Little Blossom! She’s going to stay!” he babbles excitedly in my ear.

I am quiet for a moment before I respond. “That’s great. Liam will be happy to hear it.” I don’t bother to ask Maxwell why he convinced Brooks to stay.

Liam made a choice. It wasn’t her.

“I thought you’d be more excited,” Maxwell says with some confusion in his voice.

“Olivia showed up at the Coronation, talked to Liam, and left. Then the pictures of Brooks came out. Wondering if there’s a connection.”

“You think Liv sent the pictures?”

I roll my eyes in annoyance. I try to keep the irritation out of my response. “No, Beaumont. I’m wondering if whoever did this to Brooks is behind Liv’s leaving.”

Desperate Measures:

Blinking back tears, Bertrand glanced at his watch. He raised an eyebrow as he realized it was almost time for his visitors. They were coming to meet with the stoic, confident Duke of Ramsford, not some maudlin, lovesick fool whose bank account was dangerously close to being overdrawn.

He pulled his papers together in neat stack and centered them precisely in the middle of the desk. He opened a drawer, and retrieved his lint brush, rolling it in brisk strokes over his suit jacket and sweater vest. Before leaving the study, he reached in a candy dish; he plucked a breath mint, which he popped in his mouth.

The Duke strode down the hall, ignoring the paintings and photos that lined the walls. He needed to check on lunch; the cook had been with the Beaumont family for decades; she still came in twice a week to do the grocery shopping and prepare dinner for the Duke and Lord. The rest of the staff had been let go; Bertrand could not afford to pay them, and people needed to make a living.  

Bertrand trusted the chef implicitly, and normally wouldn’t micromanage, but today was important.

This meeting could put House Beaumont back on the road to riches.

Crown Prince Liam’s social season was starting in two days’ time; Maxwell had accompanied the Prince and some friends to New York City. Bertrand had tasked him with finding a wealthy American socialite who may be willing to sponsor herself in the season. It was a long shot, but Bertrand was desperate. Nothing seemed too farfetched at this point.

House Beaumont could not afford to sponsor anyone; however, every house who entered a suitor received a stipend to cover expenses such as clothing, food, and transportation. The House with the winning suitor received press coverage and a check to be split with the suitor.

Bertrand needed a winning suitor.

But the noblewomen of Cordonia did not need House Beaumont; they had their own houses, and no need to come out of pocket. However, there was one suitor who was entering the season who came from a minor noble house. A suitor whose name was unknown despite her mother having strong ties to Cordonia.

A suitor who had money, and lots of it.

Lady Hana Lee of Shanghai.

What are you working on @ao719​ @bobasheebaby​ @katedrakeohd​ @glaimtruelovealways​ @burnsoslow​ @thecordoniandiaries​ @bbrandy2002​