#talk about death and stuff
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I interrupt my zelda posting with caitvi because Arcane changed my brain chemistry
(ight, now i go back on hiatus! If you want to see my sketchbook which I WILL be posting until the day I wither, check out patreon! Now excuse me as i crawl back into my warm little den)
((Im also currently significantly more active on my instagram posting commission work, if you wanna see it :0))
Edit: ah dang it the hyperfixation’s set in.
#critdraws#arcane#caitvi#sketchbook#these lesbians will be the death of me#lesbians#caitlyn kiramman#violet arcane#vi arcane#garden of ozymandius#arcane vi#arcane caitlyn#arcane caitvi#domestic#i wanna write a fanfic post canon s2 where ekko recruits vi to help plant trees in zaun as caitlyn struggles with the energy crisis with th#e dissolution of hextech#i think that would fix me actually#but im busy with coms! alas!#is anybody gonna talk to me about HOW COOL CAITLYN AND SILCO ARE FOILS#big coats. machinations. life partners that serve as their moral compasses#loss of an eye from somebody they were close to#anyways i like s2 a lot#i recognize theres a myriad of stuff wrong with it too but i REALLY like s2 aah#arcane spoilers#language tw
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more trod au stuff specifcially: dreams
IDK if i want dream!narinder to be canon in the AU yet but it's certainly a concept to play around with because I think it's funny if Lamb's dreams are just kinda bittersweet while Narinder's is just that one audio going NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTM
#trod au#the rehabilitation of death#narilamb#true devotion#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl the one who waits#tw blood#just in case cause nari's chest#doodles#i wanna talk about the dream stuff and au stuff but i dont want to spoil what i already have solidified#but there is A FEW OF YOU#who are leaving comments on ao3 that predicting WAY too close to what i have planned#you know who you are KHGLKSHDGSDS
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experimenting with brushes and styles and stuff.... i spent like 2 weeks drawing nothing but ms paint doodles and i think my art has been permanently affected.. (ill go back to full good art / my comic sooooon i promise i just gotta get these things outta my head)
#fanart#digital art#doodles#death note#l lawliet#mello#miheal keehl#mail jeevas#im sorry for all the dn stuff T_T (again) (its the only thing i want to draw/talk about for the past 2 months) (i WILL go back to normal)#also ive been drawing so much more every day idk whats happening ......
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i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do
#it's 3AM and i woke up out of a fitful sleep to write this post#i hallucinated jason todd while trying to sleep#(just like them bitches in the comics always fucking do can we point that out. actually. they always fucking hallucinate someone in their#family but mostly jason. when he was dead and stuff#more hallucinations or give me death#i meant that figuratively#the second part#i want more hallucinations or give me someone talking about how that used to happen to them and jason going “wtf r u good ?” or#“ew keep me out of your brain freak”#(second one directed at tim)#what was i saying#ummmm#jason todd#he deserves better#coming from a similar background means i am his number one defender#i have mommy issues too so tack that on there#the way people look at and treat the homeless makes me infuriated because you dont get it#you dont GET IT#until it's YOU mother fucker
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[Something something Soul and time loops.]
[Song is "Half The Glass" by Allenimations]
#cccc#cccc heart#cj heart#cccc mind#cj mind#cccc soul#cj soul#cccc whole#cj whole#[It's just an animatic and knowing my absolute garbage motivation skills it'll probably stay an animatic forever.]#[But whatever.]#[Ahahahah.. . a part of me really doesn't want to post it but a part of me does.]#[I think one of the big reasons I don't is cus I don't feel like it 1:1 represents how I think things go in my interpretation.]#[Like. It doesn't literally go like that. [But I think everyone here already knows what symbolism is so idk why I'm-]]#[That mixed with me already being. Apprehensive? Nervous?]#[Some sort of hesitant emotion towards the idea of sharing my serious CCCC stuff.]#[But like. Surely I won't get mauled to death over an animatic right.]#[<- Trying to convince myself.]#[I'm realizing now that this is probably all just anxiety talking.]#[Hi I exploded some of the tags sorry about that.]#[I need to stop posting so late at night.]
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The transgender contrast of loving your parents but also for Trust Reasons longing for an additional external authority figure you can count on more unconditionally to support or protect you that totally doesn’t risk becoming a kink
#my stuff#haha yeah i’m so loyal and trusting and will serve you unto death#this in no way is derived from the agony of being misgendered by my parents all my life#which is ongoing btw bc ‘there’s nobody we know that i trust to talk about your transition with’#LIKE HM MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABT WHY THAT IS#MAYBE ITS BC THOSE PPL ARE IGNORANT CUNTS THEN#anyway haha what if you were my superior officer and i killed for you like a dog#what if you were my god and i followed your compulsion to kill and eat until you were satisfied#what if you kept me to yourself and looked after me in private as i do you in public#what if my loyalty was rewarded#what if i had no obligation but duty to you#what if you made it all ok
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but my heart is like a claw machine
#undescribed#bonk.png#great god grove#ggg#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#isttvg spoilers#she/her for hector on this post please n thank you#i had a bunch of tags attempting to explain this whole thing n post game transfem hector hc but the og post didnt show up in the tags#n its like 5:30 something n i was already having trouble explaining it bc ive had like four hours of sleep so i sadly cant talk about gender#stuff like i wanted to in full detail so something something sanding self down to be nonthreatening n palatable#something something the way players (myself included) falsely believed king was a man despite many of us being trans or otherwise queer#n pre endgame king only being referred to with they/them something something men as the default as problem solvers as leaders the heroes of#the story something something hector's envy of the way king is loved n admired n able to be heard as herself#hector's fear of death n irrelevance driving her to do the shit she did n the main theme of isttvg (aside from transgenderism) being fear of#death n how denying yourself will cause you to become irrelevant in ur own life disconnected from everything as the years fly by#theres still time.#enjoy the bullet points its almost six am im gonna pass out#wiat also fixation on youth in both how we view n associate feminity n what is normally explored n portrayed with transgendering
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steve blackman, when you were deciding that it was crucial for five to have a fucking romance plotline with his brother’s wife did you also find it crucial for five and said brother to have several sweet heart-to-heart moments throughout the season just to lead to them dying with a deep hatred for each other
#NO resolution#NO understanding#NO talking about it#it was literally hey we’re best bros! thanks for being there for me man#to did you sleep with my wife?#to i wanna fucking kill him#to death. to nonexistence. to erasure of history actually#i literally hate the writers so much because even if it was just going to be a stupid little plot for five and lila to get together#why the HELL did you have to write scenes where five and diego were being sweet brothers to each other#why the HELL did you write wholesome bonding scenes when you KNEW that you would end the fucking show with them trying to kill each other?#my god#i’m rewatching season 4 and i’m PISSED off#… again#opening old wounds rn#five x anyone but fucking lila#tua s4 spoilers#laur rambles#laur says stuff#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua s4#hargreeves siblings#tua season 4#number five#tua five#anti five x lila#anti fivela#anti steve blackman
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Looking at Kotoko's voicelines, she says that she regrets not being the one to "punish" the ones who died; they died regardless of her "justice". And that's interesting because Mahiru is dead solely due to her; if she never attacked her back in T2 she wouldn't have died. But that doesn't count to Kotoko. She only counts it as a kill if she's standing triumphant over the body as life leaves it.
But we know MILGRAM doesn't have such a strict view; we know that its view of "murder" is quite broad. If Kotoko beat someone up and left them to die on the street, that would count.
If she had a full string of vigilante justice she was pursuing, and only made sure to kill the last guy but left some other bodies in her wake, she'd be a serial killer.
I fully believe that - whether she realizes it or not - Kotoko's killcount pre-Milgram is more than one.
#surprise! my main Kotoko theory is that she's killed multiple#it makes sense for why she's paired with Mikoto to me - they're the only ones who'd have a substantial list#Shidou SHOULD have a long list as well but Milgram loves to downplay his stuff for some reason#milgram#milgram project#milgram theory#kotoko yuzuriha#milgram spoilers#<- cause I talk about the T3 deaths#murder tw#murder cw#gif
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I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!
That's right. Two hands.
One for his chalk.
One for his codex.
Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.
#I'm on to something here#screwtio#aventio#hsr aventurine#veritas ratio#dr ratio#screwllum#hsr#honkai star rail#now as a disclaimer I'm not personally a huge fan of aventio#exclusively because i think they are so SO much funnier as gay friends#but something about combining the two clicks really well to me#Aventurine and Screwllum would be pretty fantastic metamours i think#they'd have a lot of fun playing off each other#but also Screwllum being there to dispute Aventurine's doubts over whether or not Ratio cares as a verified outside perspective#listing off shit like upticks in heartrate pupil dialation etc on top of being like#he talks about you fondly he knows your favorite things i can personally attest that you are very evidently important to him#stuff Aventurine can't easily write off when coming from not only an outside perspective but also a literal Genius#and on the flip side Aventurine would finally have someone other than Ratio and the Trailblazer he can talk to with relative ease#someone who has also been through a frankly incredibly traumatizing historical event#someone who is also under constant pressure to perform a certain way#someone who has gained wealth and power at the cost of carrying responsibilities on his shoulders and never being truly free#appearing free to anyone who glances but neither of them really are#Screwllum seemingly able to freely pursue whatever research he wants but ultimately permanently shackled with his titles#and public pressure to be the perfect poised representative for all of inorganic kind#forever treading the line of being both a desirable ally and a sufficient threat that you wouldn't want to cross him#and similarly Aventurine stuck in his cycle that he feels only death can free him from of gambling with his life on the line#because the IPC basically owns him#because let's be honest Jade's offer was just a lifetime labor contract he couldn't refuse#granted the illusion of freedom through gaining money and power but never truly free
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Yes, it's a sad scene. But what do you think Stiles got a #1 Award for?
#stiles stilinski#sterek#webcomic#john stilinski#Peter is the one talking to him rn#I feel like the award is one of those ones his dad custom ordered for him#because his teachers were aholes about his ADHD#no full attendance because life stuff and like his mom's death#no highest grades or excelling at any one singular thing#Because he's 'distracted'#and good at a lot of different things#so his dad went online and struggled with etsy or some shit#to get him a custom award#Number One#son#because he IS distracted and IS good at a lot of different things and he HAS missed school and he DOES mess up#and he can be a little sharp sometimes#or a little shady#let's be honest#but damn he is a really good son#loves his dad with his whole heart#anyway it's a thought idk#yes I just watched fucking ADOLESCENCE and I'm fucked up about it#No I never had a dad#yes I might be projecting#little bit#shh
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it's really weird to me the way people have been talking about maria lately.... like i know maria wasnt the most developed character in her earlier appearances and she also didnt get to have a normal childhood experience but seeing people say she has no personality and has no joy or whimsy or never got to be a kid at all makes me wonder if im the only person whos actually been paying attention to maria this whole time...???? like do people think she was a sad miserable kid who never got to have fun because of her disability or something ? because that is quite literally the opposite of who she was
and people are being weirdly ableist about it too like talking like her illness is the reason for all those traits she supposedly lacks. implying disabled people cant be happy or have fun or whatever. like come on man
#maria robotnik get behind me ill protect you#and regarding the disability thing i am disabled myself i was a disabled child once i am well aware of the difficulties that come with that#but you can acknowledge the struggles with being disabled and facing ableism and such#without portraying being disabled as constant misery. shoutout to shadow generations + its associated content for getting that right#anyway its especially weird that people Always say this stuff as a way of hyping up movie maria as a better portrayal#like. movie maria is missing so much of what makes game maria interesting ????? what do you mean shes better ....#and again. people are being weirdly ableist about comparing the two#''she finally gets to be a kid/have a personality now that shes not sick''#''movie maria's death is sadder because game maria was just going to die of her illness anyway'' do you not Hear yourselves.#the fact taht they didnt mention her illness at all and people are just Fine with that is bad enough#but did you really HAVE to say with your whole chest that a disabled child's life is worth less than that of a non-disabled one#even if thats not what you meant its what youre implying.#trying not to avoid talking about the movie but my god some of you make me so mad.
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LOSING MY MIND I ENJOYED THAT SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
highlights of the episode because i liked so much of it:
JO’S WHOLE PERFORMANCE!!!! my girl put her whole heart into that as she always does!!! and the way she tells ppl to stop interrupting her cuz they’re messing up her accent is so cute <333
everyones outfits but especially jo brad dana and rachel’s they were my favourites
the fact that brad let jo do a grisly death for him is so !!!!!!! he let her put fake blood on him n he played along when the others came in like hello thats so adorable
storm giving jo her flowers for her introduction speech like hell yeah appreciate my girl!!!
david playing the piano and singing i loved that actually
carol stealing wine shes so real for that
jo’s disappointment when carol doesnt let her give her a gruesome death
dana and rachels interactions this entire episode were so cute and fun
ian immediately wanting to tell poppy about storm saying he and poppy are “just a fling” like he cares about her so much genuinely
david being the first voted out and then playing pool by himself (he’s just such a wet cat)
brad hoping that david accidentally burns down the house and trying to achieve that by getting him drunk and hanging out with him
dana and rachel’s dog being named “butters” like thats just rlly cute very them
brads “i really hope we end up hunting each other” like okay man
carol not digging ians glasses
THE REVEAL OF WHO THE HOST WAS LIKE !!!!! that was great that was adorable that was so fun
jo getting paid by 4 different people to set up the party my girls getting paid as she should
i really liked the episode i honestly could find more things to point out that i liked but these are like the main ones that stuck out to me after watching it for the first time
#need. to write a fic about jo dressing brad up for his death scene that was like The stand out moment for me#i always love the ‘backstory’ episodes and this isnt a backstory but i loved it all the same!!!#theres just so many good moments in this episode even rlly small stuff#im not tagging everyone its a lotta people#mythic quest#mythic quest spoilers#morty talks woah
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☠ Our Flag Means Death Icons ☠
due to the new promo image dropping here (behind a paywall) and due to the anniversary of the finale of the first season that aired three human years ago I had to simply make more icons, doodles either by me or found on freepik
✯ you can find all my icons here ✯
gentlebeard icons under the cut

























pls credit if you use ❤ ✧
#ofmdedit#ofmd icon edit#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd edit#ofmd icons#our flag means death icons#iconedit#myedit#my stuff#panny talks#i am so super very normal about the silly gay pirates folks
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also. something about palpatine being so adept at seeing into the future that all of his successes feel completely joyless by the time he achieves them because he’s just going through the motions… how fucked up and nihilistic and brutal that would make you…
#teddy talks#anakin is like the opposite of this bc he’s tortured by his future failures#so he lives in constant terror and denial#whereas palpatine is lowkey tortured in a different way though he’d never ever label it as such#but the boredom of it all. the inescapability…#in a sense of course you would long for ultimate power over the force. because you would feel so much just like a meaningless vehicle#of its will otherwise#and anakin would be a PERFECT toy for someone like that. because he is so bewildered. he’s easy to tangle up in knots#i’m just doing some character Thinking#but yeah. of course one in palpatines position might hate the force and feel a need to lash out and dominate it#and he manages his own repressed bewilderment by manufacturing it in anakin to an extreme degree#but. importantly. while also having complete control over the machinations of anakin’s experience#and by crushing the force and all knowledge of it#CHRIST i’m back sorry but all the stuff he does to extend his life. he obviously is terrified of death#and rather than face it he just creates My Apprentice: The Guy Super Fucked Up About People Dying#to punish somebody else for his own horror…. it’s giving projective identification. not to bring freud into this
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Purple sop purple sop purple so
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v the embalmer#identity v ask blog#unconcerned art#i cant believe this is the one that brings me back into the game. just to read the event like ten times. i refuse to play any matches#i wish watso.n could have interacted/ played a much bigger role than. he did#also i was being dumb n misunderstood Stuff so i scribbled down that hes still a bit sus#im gonna ramble about it here cos idk where else to talk about it im going insaneeeee. so spoiler warning for the event#my dumbass thought they were implying that laverne was the lost daughter which didnt make any sense to me#because the tree n the fact the fathers name is laverne doesnt add up#it took me like three reads to realize they were implying that yr was the lost girl. im so dumb. punches myself#the timeline sort of checks out? assuming laverne is 20ish n yr was 10+ when all That went down#the bevil guy was like 62. he had 30 years to Suddenly Change Heart#but also. did the guy just. purposely find laverne n have him be the butler just so he could Do That#it was half a year before his death too. what. what was going on there. if i were the maid i would have flipped my shit too#ok anyway. i still cant fucking believe watso.n didnt show up for like half the investigation. because he was. getting wick#wick. a police dog. that. idk. just ask le.strade???? they really needed an excuse to bring alice in instead of. dr fucking watso.n#i should seriously get around to actually reading sherlock holmes ive decided just cultural osmosis is not enough#on the list of classics i should also read: picture of dorian gray. for. reasons#okay i got all that out im sane again (lie) (laverne i have so many questions for youuuuuuu ughhhhhh)#alao for the record. drawing laverne did fix me. slides off the table
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