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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

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Every Emma Woodhouse Ranked and Rated

With all my reviews of all the period-set adaptations now finished, I'm beginning my series in which I rate and rank each interpretation of all the principle characters, starting with our girl Emma!

Now I wanna be clear--I am not rating the actresses that played Emma. I am rating how the character was handled in general in each adaptation. The actresses are a factor, but they're not the sole factor, since the writer and director have as much, if not more, to do with how the character ends up in the finished product. So without futher ado, let's rank...

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her….

“The real evils indeed of Emma’s situation were the power of having rather too much of her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself; these were the disadvantages that threatened alloy to her many enjoyments.”

NUMBER 5: 1972

Portrayed by: Doran Godwin

Age at time of filming: 28

Clocking in as the oldest actress to play Austen’s famously TWENTY-ONE year old heroine (at the ripe age of 28), Doran Godwin also snags the coveted position as inhabiting the worst portrayal of the character (in my personal estimation) to date.

Just about everything about this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse is bad, from her seemingly automated recital of her lines to her all-too-intense, wide-eyed, hypnotic stare. The 1972 portrayal of Emma highlights all the character’s worst qualities while also failing to convincingly communicate her good qualities, such as her caring nature. The script is equally to blame for the awfulness of this interpretation, adding unnecessarily cruel and condescending lines, including one where she negs Harriet for being sad after Elton’s marriage, and then forces Harriet to come with her to meet the new Mrs. Elton, when Emma in the book did her best to shield Harriet from exactly that kind of situation.

Godwin couldn’t pass for 21 if her life had depended on it, and the worst part is that the script actually states Emma’s age, so she seems like a bit of a crazy spinster, preying on the naïve Harriet. Whether it’s her intent to bathe in Harriet’s blood to keep herself young, or to bake her into a pie is up for debate.

Rating: 1/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 4: 2020

Portrayed by: Anya Taylor Joy

Age at time of filming: 23

I thought long and hard about this. This movie is a modern period drama phenomenon. It’s gotten so many people into Jane Austen and satisfied long-time Austen fans by giving them an interpretation they never dared hope to see. It’s a gorgeous film.

But I don’t like this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse. Though Anya Taylor Joy is one of the youngest actresses to play Emma (only two years older than the character) she’s played with a careful stiffness that perhaps shows us a glimpse of the Lady Catherine she might turn into without swift intervention. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and this isn’t a commentary on Anya Taylor Joy either—her appearance or her acting ability—but I just don’t like her as Emma. And she’s not the sole problem, she turns in a solid performance, she’s a good actress, but something about this characterization is just off-color to me. Anya Taylor Joy plays a great mean-girl; but I think that’s one of the reasons why they thought she’d be a good choice for this role, and it’s one of the prime reasons I don’t think she wasright for it. Emma is a deeply flawed character and, of course, the biggest turning point in her story comes as a result of a thoughtlessly mean remark to someone who has only ever shown her deference, hospitality and gratitude.

All that said, Emma is not, at her core, a cruel person. Emma has gone all her life thinking condescending things about Miss Bates but it’s only when Frank comes along and validates her less kind commentaries that she actually starts to voice them in search of validation from a peer.

The problem with this in the context of 2020’s Emma Woodhouse is that Frank hardly gets a look-in in this adaptation. Emma’s relationship with him is severely underdeveloped and the actors don’t have enough chemistry to pull it off in the limited time they’re given. The result is that Emma appears to cross a line just to cross it, and it pushes Emma’s character from thoughtless to out-and-out frigid.

Still better than Doran Godwin, since she's identifiably human.

Rating: 2 1/2 / 5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 3: 1996 (MIRAMAX)

Portrayed by: Gwyneth Paltrow

Age at time of filming: 24

Despite the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow was an appalling casing choice for Emma Woodhouse (I will be forever salty that they passed over Joely Richardson), and I know there are some who will think me, at best, crazy (sacrilegious, at worst) for ranking 1996’s interpretation of Emma higher than 2020, I actually feel that solidly in the middle is right where this version of the character belongs.

There’s so much wrong with this Emma: she swings from mature to bizarrely infantile at the drop of a hat, much of her script is genuinely tragic, Gwyneth can’t convincingly portray Emma's social naiveté, her accent is overwhelmingly nasal and impossible to listen to, just for starters.

And yet… I don’t hate her. I don’t like her particularly either, but even though much of the dialogue re-working butchered Austen’s prose, there are a lot of things McGrath seems to have gotten right about Emma’s character. Her relationship with Knightley feels comfortable and playful, and, while Emma of the book probably doesn’t really care for Harriet Smith in the spirit of true bosom friendship, I believe she does care about her and wishes to spare her (further) pain. She shows exasperation with Harriet while still being patient with her, which is very much in the spirit of the book. Her concern for Harriet at the ball feels real, and her contrition at Box Hill following Knightley’s rebuke, while not profound, at least feels like contrition and not self-pity.

Perhaps, given the soft-take that the Miramax version is, it shouldn’t be surprising that the biggest faults in characterization rest on awkward writing and the biggest triumphs highlight Emma’s better side. It’s not a very in-depth take on the character, but it at least, is an adequate one.

Rating: 3/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 2: 1996/97 (ITV)

Portrayed by: Kate Beckinsale

Age at time of filming: 23

Those who’ve read my reviews of each adaptation of Emma might be surprised to see ITV’s portrayal of the title character sitting so high on my list. To be frank, it’s a distant second, and she may have stolen the number two spot only because she’s played by Kate Beckinsale and not Gwyneth Paltrow.

In truth, I see a lot of parallels between 1997’s Emma and 2020’s. Both actresses were 23 (or thereabouts) when they played the role, both have extremely childish moments, and both crumple down and burst into tears that don’t feel entirely genuine after Box Hill.

So why is 1997 on the good side of the number 3 spot and 2020 isn’t? I’m not precisely sure. I think it may be because Andrew Davies (and/or Diarmuid Lawrence) at least understood the scale of Emma Woodhouse’s wealth and status. This Emma feels sufficiently self-important, a bit haughty, sure—but she’s also believably naïve. You feel her isolation, you understand her caring relationship with her father, and she’s not as patently rude to Robert Martin compared to the 2020 version (she at least acknowledges his presence when he meets Emma and Harriet in the lane).

Grudging though this favorable placement may be, I can at least acknowledge that Emma herself is the least of my problems with this version, and even though Beckinsale’s acting is a bit sketchy at certain points, she also has some truly great moments, especially her interaction with Robert Martin at the end of the film. This portrayal is consistent, and Emma’s better qualities aren’t overpowered by her negative ones.

Rating: 4/5 Half-finished portraits

Number 1: 2009

Portrayed by: Romola Garai

Age at time of filming: 26

And in a shocking twist—I’m kidding this is neither shocking nor unexpected to anyone who knows me or has read my blog/reviews of the Emma adaptations. Am I totally biased? Probably. I don’t care, this is a completely subjective list. Here, finally—my first and true love as Emma Woodhouse—is Romola Garai. I suppose it’s also not surprising that the first actress I ever saw in the role would still be my favorite a decade on. I just love everything about this interpretation of the character. She rides the very difficult line of being bright, caring and intelligent, while also being completely naïve and lacking in social savvy (in her own age-group at least), coddled, and painfully sure of her own self-importance.

Even though Garai was 25 or 26 at the time (far too old for the character—almost as old as Doran Godwin) her energy and charisma are enough that she’s able to carry it off convincingly. Everything about this Emma screams youth, and when Emma’s child-like social ignorance is her most prominent characteristic, it feels authentic and natural. Equally authentic are her emotions—her love for her family, her dynamic with Knightley, he exasperation, patience, and concern with Harriet. Most of all though, this Emma seems to experience the most maturation in the last quarter of the story. Box Hill really feels like a turning point—not just a chastened young woman, but a true coming-of-age moment. Emma faces a reckoning here that begins a chain reaction culminating in her realization of her feelings for Knightley, and everything from the writing to Garai’s performance conveys the magnitude of this shift in Emma’s life.

This version of the character seems the most… complete to me. Somehow, between Romola Garai’s vibrancy, Sandy Welch’s screenplay and Jim O’Hanlon’s direction, this interpretation takes an extremely divisive character and helps the viewer understand just why everyone in Highbury loves Emma Woodhouse.

Rating: 5/5 Half-finished portraits

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If you liked this, check out my rankings of Mr. and Mrs. Weston

#emma woodhouse #jane austen emma #jane austen #period drama #emma 2020 #emma 2009 #emma 1996 #emma 1972 #romola garai #kate beckinsale #anya taylor joy #gwyneth paltrow

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old-childhood-drama · 3 years

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Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)

Before dating (May 2008)

We start with the Taylor lookalike

In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin’ Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.

As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.

We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.

Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)

On Tour

Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".

Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.

On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.

She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.

They’re together but they’re not together.

For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.

Now back to the timeline:

Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.

She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.

Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.

On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”

And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.

Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.

The Central Park date (August 28th)

Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.

Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).

These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.

VMAs (September 2008)

With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.

Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.

The Break-Up (October 2008)

Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.

Post-Breakup

The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.

Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:

“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”

“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]

She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]

Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.

So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:

"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “

Forever & Always

Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).

Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure

In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.

You All Over Me

The best and worst day of June

Was the one that I met you

With your hands in your pockets

And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin

But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child

Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then

Mr. Perfectly Fine

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

And I never got past what you put me through

But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"

To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]

Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.

Much Better - Jonas Brothers

I get a rep for breakin’ hearts

Now I’m done with superstars

And all the tears on her guitar

I’m not bitter

But now I see

Everything I’d ever need

Is the girl in front of me

She’s much better

Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.

“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)

Come on, show me how much better you are

(So much better, yeah?)

See you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).

Jump Then Fall

Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.

If This Was a Movie

Baby, what about the ending?

Oh, I thought you'd be here by now

Thought you'd be here by now

According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.

Haunted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

Won't finish what you started

This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.

"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor

Friendlier days are coming (2010- )

I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].

The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".

Holy Ground - Taylor Swift

We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

And for the first time I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story’s got dust on every page

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd…

… Tonight, I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance

If I'm not dancing with you

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].

From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.

Present (2020- )

In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.

Invisible String

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

#Taylor Swift #fearless #fearless (taylor's version)#forever & always #mr perfectly fine #you all over me #last kiss #toe #jaylor #joe jonas #jonas brothers #folklore #invisible string #paranoid #much better #lines #vines and trying times #better than revenge

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mightbewriting · 3 years

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So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here.

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you!

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today.

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

#thegirlwhowatchedeverything #asks #death by kindness #my death #i am dead #oh also yes #they rumors are true #im writing a soulmate story next #i intend to hurt you #you being ALL of you #*evil laughter*

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amy-issen · 3 years

Audio

ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist! if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!) xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist. i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

#tachikiryu #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kazuma kiryu #tetsu tachibana #playlist #audio #THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE ALL THIS ARRRRGH #praying this shows up in the tags lmao

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taylizmasterpost · 3 years

Text

Julianne Hough Is (maybe) a Thing (October 2009 - January 2010)

So Taylor and Julianne had interacted before this point. Taylor and Kellie and Julianne had hosted something together earlier, and Julianne was on Dance Wars back when Liz was, but Julianne’s presence in Taylor’s life ramps up a TON for this very brief period of time. Julianne was 21 and Taylor was 18 (slightly larger age gap than TayLiz).

The important thing about JH’s presence in Taylor’s life for this period of time, however, is that Julianne is out as “not straight,” and is the only woman possibly romantically connected to Taylor to have come out like this -- unless you could Dianna with #Shirtgate and/or think Cara Delevingne and Taylor have hooked up at some point. So, let’s keep this in mind moving forward. However, JH is also incredibly racist and even did blackface at one point, so we do not stan and are not shipping this.

24 October 2009 - Taylor and JH paint each other for Katy Perry’s birthday party. Taylor maybe gives JH a blue boob grab and JH paints her initials onto Taylor’s dress. This is the evidence most people point to as to something happening with them during the “Lost Years.” Is it a smoking gun? No, but it’s definitely interesting.

I’m divided into two camps of belief on Taylor’s relationship with JH: either they were hooking up, or JH was just a big gay mentor/friend figure for Taylor. I’ve put the evidence of their interactions below, so you can try to figure it out with me:

25 October 2009 - JH and Taylor tweet at each other a bunch about the party.

Taylor Squared also attend a hockey game together.

27 October 2009 - Taylor and Selena have dinner. JH crashes. She tweets at Taylor then invites her to the “MJ premiere.” Taylor tweets about being chased by the paps, presumably because she was hanging out publicly with Selena and JH.

That night, Liz and Taylor perform together on Dancing With the Stars:

28 October 2009 - Taylor Squared go shopping and have a dinner date. They also take these obviously staged car photos.

(The lens has to have been on the hood of the car or something. There’s no way they didn’t notice the camera).

29 October 2009 - Taylor films the Roomies Sketch for SNL. If you haven’t go seen it yet, go WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. It is the start of all of the Gaylor Swift rumors (which we’ll get to later).

youtube

Considering how Taylor reacted when Liz got sick, and the fact that a lot of SNL sketches are based on jokes about the guest’s life/work, etc., I’m thinking this sketch was possibly about tour roommates TayLiz. But if that doesn’t sell you on it, maybe this gif comparison will:

1 November 2009 - Taylor and Liz go to Paramore concert in Nashville. They dance together to the songs “Misery Business” and “That’s What You Get.” Very girlfriend-y.

7 November 2009 - Taylor hosts Saturday Night Live and the Roomies Sketch airs.

Immediately after the Roomies Sketch airs, people flood After Ellen (a lesbian forum site -- think the L Chat but earlier) with gossip about Taylor being gay. Unfortunately, the original screenshot does not exist, but here’s someone on the L Chat talking about what happened that night:

Now while, once again, I hope all that stuff with Emily didn’t actually happen, for Taylor’s sake, it is really intriguing that the possibly-TayLiz-based Roomies sketch is the start of all of Taylor’s gay rumors.

11 November 2009 - CMT Awards. Taylor performs and wins an award. JH congratulates her on it with a tweet.

The secret message for Story of Us is “CMT Awards.” At the CMT awards in 2009, Taylor was separated from the band, so if TayLiz was having a hard time, (possibly due to JH jealousy, maybe because they hadn’t seen each other that much since tour ended) this would fit the line “standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking.” Liz had retweeted Taylor about SNL earlier this week, though, so they may have been on good terms and this is not the CMT Awards that the linter note refers to. Or the liner notes are all lies. Who knows?

“Now I’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking”????

12 November 2009 - JH and Taylor have a movie night together.

16 November 2009 - Taylor leaves for the Fearless tour in London. JH tweets at her to “have fun.”

18 November 2009 - TayLiz are papped in London returning to their hotel at midnight. (The London paps LOVE Taylor around this period of time, so a lot of the best TayLiz photos come from when they’re in London).

20 November 2009 - Liz tweets that she loves London. Taylor and Co are specifically in London for the Fearless tour, and TayLiz seem to be most “on” when they’re touring together. Perhaps that’s why she’s so excited to be in London...

21 November 2009 - Taylor and Liz go shopping and get lunch with Caitlin and Andrea at Portobello Market.

23-24 November 2009 - Fearless in London. The tour goes on break for the holidays after this.

December 2009 - Taylor and Taylor “break up”.

9 December 2009 Taylor goes on an ice cream date with Emma Stone in New York after connecting over email (note that this is the same story she tells about who she wrote Enchanted about -- connecting over e-mail and then meeting in person in NYC). So as much as I’d like to give Enchanted to Liz, it fits better with Emma.

What this implies to me is that whatever was going on with JH wasn’t that serious, if Enchanted is indeed about Emma and Taylor went and got ice cream because she was trying to pursue something with her. Or nothing was going on at all and JH was just some big gay mentor. Or even just a friend.

10 December 2009 - Taylor tweets about liking the song I Know About You by Dashboard Confessional that has a bunch of lyrical parallels to cardigan. Here’s a few choice ones:

It’s a shame, I know

But it all shakes out real slow

When the forays of your weekend

Hang like smoke on your clothes

11 December 2009 - TayLiz and Caitlin go shopping together in NYC

13 December 2009 - Taylor’s 20th Birthday. Her backup dancer, Brandon, comes out at her party (something that’s interesting because he notes that it was while touring with her that he’d found a queer community):

The first time Stansell came out publicly was at Taylor Swift’s birthday party 10 years ago. “I was dancing on Taylor Swift’s Fearless tour,” says Stansell, 33. He was also juggling his studies as a senior at the conservative Belmont College in Nashville. He wasn’t out there, and he wasn’t out to his conservative parents. But he had found a support system for the first time. “I had queer friends in my life,” he says. “And I had a boyfriend.”

To me, this suggests that there were multiple queer people on tour at the time, and Taylor and Liz may have been two of them. However, it’s also possible that he had just found a queer community within Nashville, but the fact that the quote goes straight from “I was touring with Taylor” to “I had queer friends” implies to me some sort of connection between the two.

Liz tweets Happy Birthday at Taylor:

24 December 2009 - Taylor and JH are caught by a fan shopping together at Walmart:

31 December 2009 - Taylor spends NYE going to the spa with Julianne, going to dinner with Hayley Williams and then goes to her brother’s NYE party.

2 January 2010 - Liz tweets the lyrics to John Mayer’s Heartbreak Warfare

Maybe Liz just likes the song. But I think it’s interesting considering Taylor seems to be out and about with another woman after a whole summer of them being Roomies. I also think it’s intriguing that one of Liz’s favorite nicknames for Taylor is “Tay,” which just happens to be the secret message of Back to December... Did something go wrong between TayLiz at the end of December? Or is the song really for Taylor Lautner, despite the obvious stuntiness of that relationship?

6 January 2010 - Liz congratulates Taylor on something and says she “missed our family,” implying they haven’t seen each other since touring in London together.

9 January 2010 - TayLiz attend a housewarming party together.

19 January 2010 - TayLiz and Caitlin hang out.

23 January 2010 - TayLiz and Caitlin get on a plane to get back on tour.

25 January 2010 - Taylor films something with The Agency and there are a lot of laughs.

27 January 2010 - Taylor and JH attend the same cancer charity event together,

This is the last time we see Taylor and JH together for a long while, and judging by the way Taylor seems to be deliberately avoiding touching JH’s bare back in that last hug, if they had anything, it’s over by this point. Taylor is single and ready to mingle mope about it for a few months.

CONCLUSION: So, did Taylor and JH happen? Maybe. Maybe not. On one hand, I want to believe it did, since, as stated previously, JH is the only out queer woman that Taylor has rumors with.

The SNL Roomies sketch certainly reads to me as being about TayLiz being roomies on tour, and so the fact that all of Taylor’s gay rumors started here certainly makes a case for TayLiz having been doing something during the first half of the Fearless tour. However, they seem to have drifted apart a bit during the winter. Could this be due to JH? Or something else entirely? Could JH have just been a gay mentor? Who knows for sure. However, something must’ve caused TayLiz to cool down because what’s next is:

Single Taylor and The Gay Australia Trip (February 2010)

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kulaykape · 4 years

Text

Ina Kingsley x MC

Left Turns & Parallel Parking

A lil' one shot while I take a break from writing my mini-series. I wanted to get Lilian involved a little bit, but I'm still fleshing out her character, so I don't know what I'm going for with her yet.

I went along with @jenxespinoza's idea of Lilian being a neurosurgeon, which is briefly alluded to. And imma tag @sakaily bc they asked 😂😂 enjoy!

•••

"I'm really happy you came with Ina to see us, Ali," Lilian said as she and Aliyah walked to the parking lot, "Charlotte's been wanting to see Leon again for a while."

Aliyah smiled brightly. This was so domestic that it was disgusting… and she loved it. "No prob. Charlotte'll be a good big sister if you ever have another kid, by the way. Leon already likes her more than me," she replied. Which, ouch. But understandable, given Aliyah was 17 years older than him.

Lilian chuckled. "I'm sure he knows there's no replacing the person that raised him," she consoled, "I can't imagine how hard it was to, though. I had Charlotte my junior year of college, but you were 19 when you got custody of him?"

A frown ticked at Aliyah's lips, but she played it off and nodded. "Yeah. It was a whole… thing," she chuckled weakly.

'A whole thing' meaning dear ol' mom and her new man had damn near assaulted Aliyah after the trial. A quick follow-up for a restraining order was subsequent.

As Aliyah was starting to realize how wild her life was, 'cause holy shit, she and Lilian got to the parking lot. Ina had said she'd load the kids into Aliyah's car while the two of them finished cleaning up in Lilian's apartment.

"So where are we headed?" Aliyah asked.

Lilian hummed, a mannerism that Ina also had before answering any question. "Wherever the kids want to eat, I guess," she answered, "Thank god you drove here. I'm not partial to taking the subway with this many people in our group."

"Hm? Oh, no, Ina drove," Aliyah said as she pushed the metal door open with a loud squeal, "I don't usually let people drive Alicia around, but I consider it a stepping stone in a relationship." She smiled amusedly.

Ina had been curious as to why Aliyah's car was named after another woman, and since Aliyah gave her explanation, has developed an unreasonable jealousy of Alicia Keys.

Lilian stopped in her tracks while Aliyah continued walking towards her black sedan, engine already rumbling quietly a few yards away. "Wait, what?"

Aliyah turned to look back at Lilian, hands stuffed in her pockets. "What?" She asked, equally confused.

"You let- hold on," Lilian stalked towards the car and nearly had a stroke when she found none other than big sister dearest behind the wheel. Lilian knocked on the window of the passenger side and Ina lowered it as she began to sweat.

Lilian leaned through the now open window, and in her mom voice, said plainly, "No."

"Lil-"

"No, Ina. Not in a million years."

Aliyah shot a questioning look to Charlotte, who was sitting in the back with Leon. The seven year-old shrugged. "Uh… you want me to drive?"

"Yes."

"No. I drove here, I can drive us to the restaurant."

"We're getting McDonald's!" Charlotte called.

Ina looked into the backseat, frowning. "Are you sure? I was hoping we could get something a little more filling," she said, "What about you, Leon?"

"McDonald's," the five year-old proclaimed.

"McDonald's, Olive Garden, or Gordon Ramsey's restaurant, you are not driving us there," Lilian cut in. Aliyah opened her mouth to try and defend Ina, but Lilian's wrath was actually unnerving her.

"It's fine, Lilian," Ina insisted, the stubborn ass.

Lilian looked back at Aliyah, wordlessly begging her to take her side.

Aliyah, with her mouth hung open like a fish, was speechless. Should she side with Lilian and just drive to McDonald's, and then risk her girlfriend getting upset at her? Or should she side with Ina and then feel the wrath of a very protective mother?

"Uh…"

Unfortunately, decisiveness isn't one of Aliyah's strengths.

"Lilian, the last time you were in a car with me was years ago," Ina said, "I can drive just fine now."

Lilian let out a groan as she (very) reluctantly started to open the passenger door. "We're all going to die."

"Ah," Ina stopped her, a shadow of a smirk on her face and her finger held up, "You should sit in the back with the kids."

The younger sister's jaw dropped as Aliyah wheezed behind her. "You are the pettiest person I know, Ina Kingsley!" She exclaimed as she moved to the back seat instead, looking at Aliyah, "Make sure she doesn't get us all killed, please."

"Was she really that bad?" Aliyah asked, "I mean, she got us here just fine."

Lilian shuddered as a memory rolled over her, and she shook her head. "I'll tell you in the car," she replied, "Oh lord…"

Aliyah shrugged, before reopening the passenger door and smiling at Ina as she climbed in. "Hey, babe," she greeted, leaning forward to peck the Professor's cheek. Charlotte and Leon gagged dramatically. "Don't kill us all, okay?" Aliyah asked, patting Ina's cheek sardonically.

"I'll try my best," Ina replied with a chuckle as she switched gears and started pulling out of the parking garage, Lilian watching her like a hawk the entire way through. Ina glanced up at the rear view mirror, and stuck her tongue out at her little sister.

The car was quiet for a few moments on the road, save for the good-natured bickering between Charlotte and Leon (they were gonna be a trip when they were older, all the adults could tell). Lilian was silently trying to not have a heart attack in the backseat, and also not to think about Ina's nightmarish track record.

Traffic had begun to build up (it was New York, duh) and Ina slowly rolled to a stop behind the car in front of her. Lilian flinched nonetheless. "Ina!"

Aliyah tried not to snort as an exasperated look passed over Ina's face. "You're fine," she replied flippantly.

"Hm, funny, I remember you saying those exact words after you'd rammed mom's sedan into a light post," Lilian retorted, "And might I remind you, I was very much not fine."

This time, Aliyah couldn't help but guffaw. "You crashed into a light post?" Ina's face flushed red, and she kept her eyes stubbornly on the road.

"It was horrible," Lilian said. Ina's eyes met hers in the rear view mirror, silently begging her 'no'. Lilian smirked evilly. "And the worst part was, there was absolutely no reason for her to crash."

"Lilian-"

"It was like that one scene from Bob's Burgers where Tina slowly crashes into another car."

Aliyah guffawed once again, leaning her head on the dashboard while Ina seethed silently. Aliyah's shoulders shook as she sat upright once again, giving Ina the most shit-eating grin she had ever seen on her (which was saying a lot).

"You know, just 'cause you're a lesbian doesn't mean you have to try and embody every stereotype," Aliyah quipped, causing Lilian to snicker while Ina let out a sigh, "Also, that is the lamest stereotype you could've chosen."

"Wait, aunt Ina's lame?" Charlotte piped up. Ina made a sound like she was in pain.

Aliyah turned back in her seat, nodded, and mouthed 'yes' at the littlest Kingsley.

Something not unlike a low growl left the Professor's body as the light turned green and she realized she was babysitting children. She ignored both of the younger "adult" women in the car while they high-fived, and drove on.

With a flick of her wrist, Ina turned the left signal on and merged into the turning lane. She blew a shaky breath out of her lips that didn't go unnoticed by neither her sister nor girlfriend. Both looked suspiciously at her.

"What is it?" Lilian asked, voice shrouded in sweetness but actually lowkey very threatening.

Ina's eyes flicked to both of them for a moment then back to the road. "I… may not be particularly deft when it comes to left turns," she admitted.

"What, we didn't make any left turns on the way to her apartment?" Aliyah asked. Ina shook her head. Aliyah sighed. "Well, just make sure you turn the wheel in the right direction. Right meaning left. You know what I mean."

"Thank you, Ali," Ina said dryly.

"Of course, babe."

Leon squeezed his nose so his voice sounded nasally and high-pitched. "Of course, babe."

Aliyah threw her head back and laughed just as Ina started to make the turn, and doink.

"Ow! Jesus Christ, Ina!" Aliyah cradled the right side of her head after it bounced off the window from the sharpness of Ina's turn. Ina winced harshly while Leon started to snicker (Charlotte had the compassion to try and not to).

"Shit! I'm so sorry Ali, are you okay?" Ina reached a hand out to squeeze Aliyah's knee, but Aliyah scrambled to take it off and put it back on the wheel.

"Both hands on the wheel!" She exclaimed sternly. Ina shrank away sheepishly while Aliyah continued to rub her head.

"Good job Ina, you almost gave your girlfriend a concussion," Lilian quipped.

"You're next, Lilian Kingsley," was Ina's immediate reply. And Lilian knew damn well that her big sister didn't play around, so she stifled a very smart reply.

---

"Can we play music?" Charlotte asked once they were halfway to wherever the hell they were going, 'cause Aliyah was pretty sure they'd passed three different McDonald's by now.

"Sure, kiddo," Aliyah said as she grabbed the aux cord, "What do you want me to play?"

"Taylor Swift!" She exclaimed. Aliyah nodded (albeit a little reluctantly) and started to scroll through the infinite songs in her playlist.

"No, Eminem!" Leon said.

Aliyah threw her little brother a look as Ina and Lilian started to laugh. "The heck do you mean Eminem?" She demanded. The little boy shrank away sheepishly. Aliyah put on her stern voice. Not quite as good as Lilian's, but it'd do. "Leon, what've you been listening to?"

"Uh… Eminem?" Aliyah huffed before turning around and continuing to look for Taylor Swift on her playlist.

"What's your favorite song by Eminem, Leon?" Ina asked. Aliyah gave her an unappreciative look.

"Real Slim Shady!"

"Oh god," Lilian covered her face as she started to shake with laughter.

Leon and Charlotte started to chant the chorus to Real Slim Shady- and Aliyah was praying that was all they knew- while Aliyah scrolled furiously through her playlist. Ina tapped Aliyah's arm before she could get to the Tay-Tay portion of her playlist.

"Play Queen," Ina asked quietly.

"The kids aren't gonna like Queen," Aliyah replied.

"They need to learn culture," Ina retorted.

"If you want them to learn culture, then why are you asking for Queen?" Lilian said. Ina gasped as if her sister had just twisted a knife in her side. Aliyah nodded in agreement.

"You too?" Ina said, incredulous, "But you're a musician!"

"And you're an anthropologist," Aliyah said, unblinking, while Lilian laughed at her sister's expense. "You can talk about bones, and Neanderthals, and old sticks all you want, but I don't think music is your strong suit," she added with a smirk.

"Old sticks?" Ina repeated, this close to giving up on life, "What is it that you think my career entails again?"

"Old sticks," Aliyah said once again without missing a beat, "Like the ones at the museum you showed us."

"Those were the remnants of spears from the Middle Paleolithic era!" Ina exclaimed defensively. Aliyah tried not to let a guilty smile sneak onto her face, because the nerd in her had thoroughly enjoyed the impromptu date at the museum. But harassing Ina was still her favorite past time.

"You know, as far as I'm concerned, Lilian's the only real doctor in this car," Aliyah said, and Ina practically vibrated with irritation.

"Aw, that's very sweet of you, Ali," Lilian said. She was very familiar with the 'harass Ina until she pops a blood vessel' game, and she and Aliyah did a mental fist bump.

"But I thought aunt Ina's a doctor too," Charlotte said, thoroughly confused and have since forgotten about her music.

"I am a doctor," Ina huffed grumpily.

“A doctor of old sticks,” Lilian said. Ina pursed her lips and stayed very silent.

Aliyah squeezed Ina's arm as she started to shake with laughter. "Babe, we're just joking," she said. Ina threw her an unreadable look, before giving the brake pedal momentary a push. Aliyah jerked forward with a yelp while Lilian nearly screeched. The kids laughed, enjoying the rollercoaster simulation.

"Ina!" Lilian snapped.

"That's what you two get," she said simply, with the biggest, winningest smirk on her face as she drove on. The two of them grumbled nervously as Ina continued her drive down the highway, mentally brushing off her shoulders.

"Are we at McDonald's yeeeet?" Charlotte asked, "I'm hungry. I want nuggies."

"Nuggies won't fill you up," Ina replied, and Aliyah couldn't help but snort at Ina using the word 'nuggies'. "We're going to a restaurant on Fifth."

"…do they have nuggies?"

Ina sighed. "Charlotte, don't you want to eat something a little more… fulfilling than chicken nuggets?" She asked, "And what if Leon doesn't-"

"I want nuggies too," Leon chimed.

"Yeah, me too," Aliyah said. Ina glared at her and she began to snicker. "Okay, okay, just get us there, Professor." While the kids groaned in disappointment Ina switched gears into sixth and sped down the highway.

Eventually, they got onto Fifth Street, and back into the heavy congestion of the main roads. It was times like this that Aliyah missed growing up further down south, where you could actually drive instead of just starting and stopping every second.

Ina started to slow down by the sidewalk, next to a building with its name written in big, cursive, neon letters. Charlotte gasped dramatically. "I know this place! They have a chocolate fountain!" At that revelation, Leon started to grin as well. Ina smiled privately to herself as she rolled to a stop next to a parking spot.

Aliyah looked at her. "You know you have to park in the spot, right?" She quipped. Ina nodded.

"Yes, I'm aware," she let out a sigh and Aliyah's stomach dropped.

"...You can't parallel park either, can you?"

"How hard can it be?"

"Extremely, actually," Lilian interjected, "Aliyah, maybe you should-" Aliyah had already moved to open her door, but Ina stopped her.

"Stay in the car, I can do this," Ina said, the determination and pride riding on all of this in her voice. Aliyah found it ridiculous, and it showed in her face.

"Ina, if you dent my car," Aliyah switched to Spanish so that the kids couldn't understand, "No sex for a month." Lilian guffawed as Ina winced.

Charlotte cocked a brow in hilarious Kingsley fashion. "What'd she say, mama?" She turned to Lilian.

"Erm… she said that she won't let aunt Ina drive again," Lilian said, still snickering.

Ina breathed out a slow breath, trying her best to ignore Aliyah's steel gaze on her as she switched into reverse. There was a significant amount of room for her to work with between the two cars, but she didn't exactly have a driving record that inspired confidence.

She made damn sure that her glasses weren't going to fall off her face as she slowly started to back in, hands clenching the wheel tightly.

"Aunt Ina, are you okay?" Charlotte asked, causing Ina to jolt, "You look… uh… constipated." Aliyah once again found herself leaning her head against the dashboard while Ina's face flushed red.

"I'm fine, Charlotte," she said patiently, before refocusing on the parking spot. After a few more tense moments of an anxiety-ridden Ina and some death-staring from Lilian, the car was sitting nearly in the parking spot.

Ina took the key out of the ignition with a triumphant smile while Leon and Charlotte whooped (about the food, of course). "Wow. We're alive," Lilian said, grinning as she patted Ina's shoulder, "Aside from nearly giving Aliyah a concussion, not bad, sis." And in spite of the ever-apparent snark, Ina could hear a hint of pride in Lilian's voice. "I'll go take the kids inside," she added with a wink, before starting to load the kids out.

Aliyah chuckled as she watched Charlotte and Leon Naruto-run into the restaurant, Lilian trailing behind them. She reached over and squeezed Ina's hand, and the Professor turned to look at her just in time to catch a cheeky kiss squarely on her jaw.

"Ah!" She yelped with a chuckle, "I take it your ultimatum has been null and voided?"

"Honestly, I probably wouldn't have been able to uphold it," Aliyah said as she kissed Ina's nose, watching in amusement as it scrunched up, "But just so you know, I am driving us home."

Ina deflated in relief. "Thank god. I think I lost five years of my life just from this drive," she said. Aliyah chuckled as she squeezed Ina's thigh sympathetically. "Is your head okay? I'm so sorry about that…"

"It's fine," Aliyah said, rubbing her head subconsciously, "But you need to slow the hell down on those turns."

Ina nodded. "Noted for the next time I drive. Which will be in another few years," she smiled as Aliyah laughed, and leaned forward to catch her lips in a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry for being stubborn," she murmured against Aliyah's mouth, "I had to prove a point to Lilian."

Aliyah rolled her eyes as she tugged on Ina's lip playfully. "You're stubbornness almost earned me a concussion, but we're not gonna talk about that," Aliyah said as she gave Ina one more enthusiastic kiss on the lips, "Now c'mon. You drove us all the way here, let's go eat." Ina smiled as she got out of the car, and the two of them walked towards the restaurant, hand in hand.

~end~

#ina kingsley #professor kingsley #queen b #ina x mc

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barchie-fanfiction · 3 years

Text

in case you missed it...

hello from your barchie-fanfiction admins! thanks for following us - over the next few days we’ll be posting some author masterlists of some heavy hitters in the fandom (think 5+ fics!), but until then... we thought everyone needed some more season five in their lives.

so, in case you missed them... a collection of completed fics (as of march 5th) that take place somewhere in season five canon (or not canon)!

pre time jump

(stop fighting) and know our love is real Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: General Length: 2,019 Summary: 3 times Archie starts coming to terms with potentially losing Betty and the 1 time he realises they will always be connected. Notes: Part 2/2 of The Truth series.

(stop pretending) and let our love begin Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: General Length: 1,244 Summary: 3 times Betty lies, and the 1 time she finally admits the truth. Notes: Part 1/2 of The Truth series.

but we were something, don’t you think so? Author: societysgot Rating: General Length: 1,718 Summary: "Why didn't you tell me?" She tries to look him in the eye but finds that she can't, "That you were leaving." "Well I—" "Why Arch?" Notes: An alternate take on the bus scene, and before.

closing walls and ticking clocks Author: inthehallway Rating: Teen Length: 3,365 Summary: Maybe you need to consider why you’re really so terrified of him finding out. Is it only because you know you’ll lose him? Or is it also because you’re scared of the feelings you’ll be forced to face once he’s gone? After prom, Betty can't hide from the truth anymore. Notes: An alternate take on prom. AKA, everyone finds out.

Dancing is a dangerous game Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: General Length: 1,081 Summary: Based on the lyrics from “you’re a cowboy like me”. Betty-Barchie centric of an AU prom scene. Notes: AKA Archie and Betty actually dance like they should have.

for what it’s worth it was worth all the while Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 1,030 Summary: Betty slips into the back door of the Andrews house the way she has a thousand times before, but this morning it feels different...despite the fact that it still, somehow, feels like the most natural thing in the world. Notes: Takes place the last day of school. Aaaaand we’re sad again.

i’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places Author: societysgot Rating: Teen Length: 1,399 Summary: "It's not that simple," She went to place a hand on his arm, but he felt himself pulling away before she made contact. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "Well, it shouldn't be this hard." Notes: They talk!! They discuss things!! Betty actually knows that Veronica knows!! A gift.

If This Was A Movie Author: booksnshows Rating: General Length: 3,228 Summary: Betty Cooper has been dreaming of prom since she was a little girl. The truth is...she always pictured going with Archie Andrews. Notes: An alternate take on prom. Written early post S4.

so give me tonight Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 2,392 Summary: They (whoever they are, exactly,) say that prom night is supposed to be one of the best nights of your life. Archie Andrews would like to go on record saying that is absolute bullshit. Notes: Did someone say prom porch parallel?

there’s no warning when everything changes Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 1,525 Summary: The song sounds different coming from Veronica, so it doesn’t occur to Betty until she hears it: he’s not made for this world, and neither am I. Notes: A look is worth a thousand words. Sometimes, 1500 of them.

valentine Author: spideychoni Rating: Not Rated Length: 2,333 Summary: when things fall apart in archie and betty’s relationships, will they find each other again? a graduation after party changes everything for the blonde haired girl and the redheaded boy. Noted: A graduation after party?? Eyes emoji.

You Were The Someone Waiting For Me Author: darlingfilms Rating: Teen Length: 1,123 Summary: Picture this, it’s the senior prom in Riverdale and Betty and Archie go with their partners, but it’s clear who they’d rather be with. Notes: The author mentions there’s another chapter, but it’s marked as completed, so! Enjoy!

time jump

'tis the damn season Author: bettycooopers Rating: Mature Length: 13,878 Summary: you could call me babe for the weekend 'tis the damn season A Taylor Swift inspired "we're dating, but only during the holidays" AU told in five parts. Notes: Liberties taken - namely, they do talk within those years, and Archie doesn’t get deployed - but otherwise follows canon. Also, it’s epic.

all i want for christmas Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 3,527 Summary: Archie’s heard of an orphan Christmas before, but he didn’t actually think he’d have one...at least, not yet. Notes: Written pre-S5, so FP doesn’t leave!

come home to my heart Author: inthehallway Rating: Mature Length: 9,248 Summary: He’s only been here for a few hours, and she already feels like a piece of her that’s been missing for too long is shifting back into place. But he's going to leave in a few days, and they'll have to say goodbye to each other all over again. She wonders if this will even be worth the pain it's going to cause them both in the end. Two years after graduation, Archie visits Betty at Yale. Notes: Sequel to didn’t know you were golden ‘til i tore your heart open. Written after S4, so Archie goes to the navy, not the army!

post time jump

all the bad dreams that you hide Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 2,708 Summary: Betty has control of the nightmares. At least, that's what she tells herself. Notes: Based off of that Roommates Theory we all fell prey to. What happened in Albany, Cher?! Tell us!!!

Honey Author: JemmaLynn13 Rating: Mature Length: 6,755 Summary: A post shower fic where Betty finds herself wearing Archie's bathrobe with no other clothes to change into. Notes: Seriously, how did this girl get home? Alice is gonna find out by 5x07, at this rate.

Hush, I’m Here Author: NewObsessed Rating: Teen Length: 1,350 Summary: He stares up at the ceiling. Everytime he closes his eyes, all he sees is the battlefield and his fellow soldiers laying motionless across the grounds. Still he tries to let sleep come. After what feels like mere seconds, his eyes pop open again. Only this time, it isn’t because of his nightmare. It's because of someone else’s. Her scream slices through the silence of the house. Notes: We may have lost roommates in canon, but not in fic!!! The potential, friends.

i am your secret, baby, watch me unfold Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 3,151 Summary: Betty turns on her stereo and pours herself a drink, smiling – the idea of parading around her empty house in lingerie with her makeup done and a highball glass of gin while she waits for Archie is appealing, to say the least. Notes: You know what we didn’t lose, though? Friends with benefits. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“If I kissed you right now, what would you do?” Author: bettycooopers Rating: Not Rated Length: 765 Summary: It’s past midnight when Betty texts him and tells him to meet her outside the auto shop. He shrugs on a sweatshirt and texts her back (for any particular reason, betts?) as he’s making his way out of the house, not bothering to wait for her to answer. He knows he’s going to end up there, anyway. Notes: A fun mini ‘verse where Betty pretends for all of five seconds that 5x05 was a one time thing. Whatever you say, Cooper!

jump into the heat Author: MaiaSpeedster Rating: Teen Length: 444 Summary: As they kissed and undressed each other, Betty couldn’t help but to think how dumb she had been to waste all of these years. She already knew how good Archie was at kissing, but the way he ran his hands over her figure and pressed his body to hers… God, she had never felt anything like it. Notes: Betty’s thoughts during 5x05. Y’know. About that scene. We think you know the one.

just for now Author: staryu Rating: General Length: 713 Summary: where Betty leaves but Archie is sad and really wants her to stay. Notes: Everyone, including Archie, wanted him to ask Betty to stay during 5x06, right? It’s okay, Arch, fic’s got you covered.

let’s go somewhere they might discover us Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 3,670 Summary: Archie’s synapses are clearly slower than usual, but he manages to look over at her subtly enough and raise his brow in a want to get out of here sort of way and Betty smiles, looking over to Kevin. “I think I’m going to let,” she pats Archie on the shoulder and raises her brows, “Sergeant Andrews here walk me home.” Notes: Based off of 5x06 stills. Drunk Archie! Exhibionist Barchie! A Betty who is terrible at friends with benefits! Yeah!

light my fire Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 2,797 Summary: Betty wakes up frustrated. She goes to bed frustrated. Riverdale is frustrating, in general – but the fact that she’s living in her childhood bedroom with Archie Andrews only a few hundred yards away, looking frustrating all the time is making it worse. Much worse. Notes: Based off of that still Roberto posted of Archie in firefighter gear. Yeah, you know the one.

lock the door (and throw out the key) Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 8,269 Summary: Cheryl’s always been one for chaos, and this key party seems like the kind of thing that will cause it no matter who winds up together. Notes: What’s going to be more chaotic, the actual key party (if it happens), or the events of this fic? Place your bets!

Love’s under a lock and key Author: creative_soul Rating: Mature Length: 3,306 Summary: Seven years have past since Betty left Riverdale behind. Seven years have passed since she last saw Jughead, Veronica and Archie... but now here she is seven years later on the steps of Thistle House. Notes: So... you’ve heard about the key party theory by now, right?

Our place, we make the rules Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: Teen Length: 1,816 Summary: Betty goes over to Archie’s house for a *not* midnight hookup the night of the shower scene but is surprised when Jughead answers the door. Post 5x05. Notes: Betty is the least subtle she’s ever been, and also made us laugh out loud with one line in particular.

tell me you love me on the bathroom floor Author: soldierwitch Rating: Mature Length: 804 Summary: It’s been seven years since Betty’s had Archie. Though in hindsight she realizes that what she had back then was just a taste. A chaste kiss on the lips, a slip of the tongue. Underneath the stream of water coming from his shower head, she wonders what she really knew of him physically. Notes: Set during the shower scene.

That Shower Scene Author: ThisCalmsMe Rating: Explicit Length: 3,420 Summary: Barchie shower scene, that's it. That's the summary. NOT for underage viewing. Notes: The author said it themselves, but you know what scene this is. Can you believe we get to tag this as canon? Us neither!

The Small Hours Author: network_connectivity_issues Rating: Teen Length: 2,632 Summary: Just a little angsty bonding between Betty and Archie based on some of the snippets and speculation coming out of the Time Jump trailer. Notes: This fic is god tier. End of.

Through Fire and Rain Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: Teen Length: 1,218 Summary: The aftermath of the fire at Archie’s house, Betty asks him to stay with her. Takes place after 5x06 Notes: The 5x07 subplot we deserve!

Who’s That at the Door? Author: CanaryWidow Rating: Teen Length: 1,853 Summary: A 5x07 speculation fic where Betty and Archie are tiptoeing around their true feelings for each other in a FWB relationship. Reality, in the form of Glen, comes knocking at their door--literally. Notes: Give us jealous Archie, we’re here for jealous Archie!

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.” Author: staryu Rating: Not Rated Length: 473 Summary: here have jealous betty at a bar! Notes: Give us jealous Betty, we want jealous Betty!

“You didn’t have to scare me like that.” Author: bettycooopers Rating: Not Rated Length: 485 Summary: Betty wakes from the nightmare (the nightmare, the one she always has) gasping for air and presses her hand to her face. She sucks in a long breath, the way Dr. Starling had instructed – why she had even mentioned the nightmares to her mandatory therapist, she’s not sure, but the only thing that’s even come close to useful from their sessions has been the deep breathing. Notes: Okay, but we all had at least considered that Betty could’ve been pointing that gun at Archie, right?

you ought to keep me concealed just like i was a weapon Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 4,037 Summary: “We’re getting that fucking house back,” Betty says, her voice low. “There’s no other option.” Notes: We’re still yelling about this one.

#type: masterlist #setting: canon #setting: s5 au #status: complete

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bisluthq · 3 years

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Hello! So, I am a two muse theory doubter (yes read realistic Kay too a couple of times). Like, I want to believe. I have even tried to force it in my mind but it doesn’t take. The reason is - TMT fails to consider the fluctuations of emotional highs, lows, love and lust over the initial 2 year period of a relationship. Like, I am a semi profesh song writer with a muse. The variety of POV I write from are extensive. Life is an emotional pendulum and our experiences make it swing. On any given day, our perspectives and emotions can complete change for a given moment towards a muse. I can love my muse for the rest of my life but hate them with the same passion on any given day, go to my piano and write it into a song and feel indifferent to it later (the good and bad end up in songs). When I listen to Rep, it’s range of intensities I easily apply to my one muse. Taylor herself saying Dress, Delicate, CIWYW & NYD her true story on the album reads like she is just pointing to her average daily experiences with 1 muse. If Delicate is Joe & Dress is Karlie - Taylor separated her finding “love amongst the chaos” into loving two people in her true story. If you actually timeline those particular songs it’s Dress (a lustful hook up), to Delicate (wanting to make it official), CIWYW (the pressure of making it official) and NYD (the challenge of commitment). Unless “Dress” leads her to “Delicate”, why include it at all in her true love story line up? Like, was it a last minute attempt to hetsplain that song years after it came out?🤷‍♀️ by her including NYD in her true love story of Rep, it ties via the ‘squeeze my hand three times in taxi’ lines to cruel summers crying in the backseat lines (which is also the circumstantial vibe of CIWYW). The backseat crying lines of Cruel Summer ties to the Cornelia Street vibe (which Taylor writes later as a reflection of the whatever happened after the Delicate moment) which ties back to Delicate via the bar lines and forward later in time to Gold Rush via the creaks / wooden in the floor lines. I mean, all this says to me there is 1 muse of her true story - which could be Joe (but that cancels out the sapphic nature of dress) or Karlie (which means this illicit affair on joshy-boy really did happen somewhere between 100 and a million times). Tbh, I tend to believe the later. So you’ll be like okay what about LSS, Invisable String then fruitcake? (Fair call future sleuth haha). Or what about babygate and joshlie marriage?! Like, wbk that affair was at least long and messy AF. Folklore and Evermore were written last year and Lover period was fairly chaotic and clunky at best (presumably because of masters heist). Like, they MUST have broken up (FG, DBATC, Daylight, The 1, Cardigan saga, TIMT, Hoax, Peace, Exile, Coney Is, Evermore, RWYLM, CP, Happiness, TTDS). Like, they all have 1 muse energy of losing someone you love through messiness (could be joe🤷‍♀️ we’ll never know for sure). But many of these songs refer to a third person being involved which screams Joshlie to me because of ivy, illicit affair, the bitterness of “The Man”. Baby, you say? Like it’s pretty simple - Karlie went back to Josh, married him and had a baby and Taylor’s like “uhh, what a fucking joke” and processed it last year through writing two albums about it all. Invisable string, LSS - like these are both songs which come from a POV of self-reflection after hope is lost. Maybe reunited after preggo-gate? Maybe consolidated love after break up into friendship aka Dorothea? WB - quite simply - WB is the model to which Taylor writes about whatever she wants to (triangulation of desire). Good for her, great writing strategy. Is it a strategy needed? Well ya, but only if it’s born of having 1 muse and a very obvious story Taylor is trying to obscure. Like, come at me sleuth cuz I reallllly want to believe in two muse story. I wouldn’t even had bothered writing this if I didn’t. What am I missing?

Hey Sim here. So Nat broke protocol and sent me this one to answer because I too am a writer and I too at one point reached that point in the lyric analysis where I literally could not fathom any timeline I was hearing that made sense due to the connections in the lyrics between Reputation and Lover. I have a whole spreadsheet called “Car Bar Roof” where I’m just trying to make sense of a series of events through lyrics alone and I nearly drove myself crazy doing it.

With that being said, I want to give a disclaimer: Nothing wrong with you interpreting things your own way! I know Nat can come off kind of brash sometimes, but both of us are always hyper-aware that we are discussing what essentially amounts to a “Taylor Swift Is Gay” conspiracy theory and because it’s a conspiracy theory and we don’t know these people, no analysis is ever going to be 100% correct. If you don’t hear two muses on Rep, that’s totally fine! I’m sure we have some Toe/Swiftwyn readers who would agree with you there!

I do want to caution against relying entirely on lyric parallels to create a timeline, however. You’re going to dig yourself into a rabbithole that’s very hard to get out of. I think a lot of people don’t realize that Taylor has been using a lot of metaphors (especially the car and the bar) her entire career. It ends up being a big stretch to assume that just because two events in two different songs both take place in a car or a bar, Taylor is talking about the exact same moments. Like, let’s be real, how many times have any of us ever been in a car? Wouldn’t it be kind of ridiculous for a critic of our work to assume everything we write involving a car is about the same specific time we were in a car?

It is also incredibly easy to construct false narratives when you rely only on song analysis. I’ll give you an example using Taylor’s first high school boyfriend, Drew. Whether you believe it or not, he’s often cited as the inspiration for Tim McGraw. The song Tim McGraw has a variety of common themes with Taylor’s other work, the main ones being summer, dancing, the moon, a little black dress, a truck, a creek/river, and going back to school. If we follow song parallel logic, I could connect Tim McGraw to folkmore songs and, because of this, could say Taylor is still dating/writing about Drew from high school.

The little black dress in Tim McGraw is also mentioned in unreleased Live for the Little Things and The Other Side of the Door. In both Tim McGraw and Live for the Little Things, Taylor mentions a black dress and dances with her lover under the moon. A summer love that ends with going back to school can also be found in August, and Cruel Summer and August are very similar songs, in that both are about a summer love that can’t last and isn’t being taken as seriously by one person as another. The Other Side of the Door is almost the exact same premise of an ex at your doorway as I Almost Do, Dark Blue Tennessee, All You Had to Do Was Stay, and exile, meaning all those songs must be connected as well. Dancing with someone in the middle of the night can also be found in Everything Has Changed, 22, and Dancing With Our Hands Tied. As a bonus, trucks and dancing are also mentioned in Champagne Problems, which connects to Gold Rush, So It Goes, and Dancing With Our Hands tied through the use of the color Gold. So It Goes also mentions wearing black and meeting someone in the middle of the night. So all those songs have to be about Drew as well.

So here’s the narrative that makes: Taylor and Drew dated over a summer then broke up when he went back to school but at some point he came back to her door and they got back together. They mostly hung out in the middle of the night, driving around and dancing. Unfortunately, when he proposed, Taylor couldn’t say yes, and literally left him stranded on the dance floor and is now #foreveralone and writing folkmore to process these events.

To be clear, I don’t actually believe any of this. I don’t think anyone else does either, but since neither Taylor nor Drew have publicly interacted in over a decade, this can be easily disproved, despite the “obvious” way the songs connect. Taylor just likes certain themes. Cars and bars. Nature. The contrast of light and dark. Sparks and fire. I guarantee if you go over her unreleased songs and first two albums with the same fine tooth comb you’ve gone over Folkmore/Lover/Reputation/1989 with, you’ll find just as many lyric parallels, and it’s not because she’s only writing about one person.

Occams Razor tells me Kaylor’s not on good terms anymore. It also tells me Karlie and Josh are actually having a child together. From the outside, it looks like things have been bad since at least the Masters Heist, if not before, and the more digging we’ve done, the more evidence we find of that. Now, you don’t have to believe that if you don’t want to! As long as you don’t go around harassing people we’ve got no beef with you. Just know you’re always going to find song parallels to back up whatever you want because Taylor’s such a prolific songwriter who loves to use the same themes again and again. That’s just deductive reasoning, baby. Thanks for the discourse though! LMK if you wanna chat song analysis sometime!

#nat talks two muse theory #sim answers anons #nat talks lyrical interpretation

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bybdolan · 3 years

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“And Bob couldn’t write a pop banger” absolutely tell em!!! but no for real I really agree with you that it’s basically pointless to compare songwriters especially when they’re from such different generations and different genres cause Taylor may have started in country but she’s always written closer to pop in it than most. and on top of that the genres they write in are so different purely because of time as well. Folk and country from Bob Dylan’s peak years also have underwent a lot of changes because of new trends, new techniques etc etc

Let me preface all of this by saying that my opinions on Bob Dylan's songwriting are highly subjective. People more familiar with music theory and poetry have said wiser things about his work than me and they might disagree with my opinions so... All I can say is that listening to his music makes me want to tear my teeth out. And I don't disagree with the original tweet AT ALL, seeing how often people get compared to Bob Dylan, but I have just grown a bit tired of the comparison because a lot of times, it's just made because Bob Dylan is Bob Dylan and He Is The Best.

I understand where the comparison comes from a 100%, both Dylan and Taylor are great at capturing life and pulling you into the world of the song. But times have changed and they both just have different goals with their songs. A lot of Taylor's work is centered around herself and figuring out her emotions about her own life, whereas Bob – though he had songs like that, too – often aimed higher and wrote songs trying to make sense of the overall state of the world. As fictionalized as evermore and folklore may be, it still feels like the root of the stories lies within Taylor. This is not to say that there is no part of Bob Dylan in his storytelling songs, but I don't listen to The Ballad Of Hollis Brown and wonder how much of this is based in Dylan's personal life.

I can listen to Cowboy Like Me and say that it feels very Blood On The Tracks and y'all have seen my parallel posts, so yea, Bob and Taylor sometimes have a similar edge, but at the end of the day, like you said, Taylor has always been very connected to pop and her pop writing is good, even though it isn't Bob Dylan-style writing. And maybe she could actually write her own Desolation Row, it's just that not a lot of people want to listen to 11 minute long songs anymore. But even if she does write it, she's not going to write it at 25. There is a sense of magic and whimsy and fiction and poetry to Dylan that Taylor seems to lean into more now, but she just didn't for a lot of her career because it wasn't her goal. And that's fine.

I could also go on a tangent about how different their public personas are/were and how that ties into their music and writing (Bob Dylan did Not Want To Be Perceived As A Real Person for a good part of his career. He's a jester.), but that is beside the point. Bob Dylan is Bob Dylan and Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift and they share strengths but they also differ quite a lot and at the end of the day, being "the new Bob Dylan" doesn't mean that much as a compliment when it's not based in something.

#ask #bleachellataylor #lmaooo sorry this got so long #people who are more knowledgeable about bob i am sorry #i know little about him except the insanity his music awakens in me #bob dylan

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desticuleconfessions · 3 years

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hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.

[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]

okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.

our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.

we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.

anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.

so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.

now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.

- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.

- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).

- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.

- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.

- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.

- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her

- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.

- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction

- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.

- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.

- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time

- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.

- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.

- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.

- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”

- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school

- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her

here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:

I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]

in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.

in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral

i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.

at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”

last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.

anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.

‎

#tw: queer trauma #tw: religious trauma #tw: mental illness #wow #that is ... a lot #i'm glad both you and she are okay #mod cas #confessions #desticuleconfessions

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jonismitchell · 4 years

Text

FOLKLORE THIRD LISTEN NOTES

the 1

how awesome is it to have been right about this song being about the one who got away?

it sets up a very romantic theme for the album and i don’t know how to explain it

i really love this production it’s very dreamy and tailored (don’t make the pun) to my interests

the verses on this song and the imagery they evoke are perfect god

the way this feels so hard feelings esque… the bus line and yeah

can we discuss “the greatest loves of all time are over now”

i think the only opener that beats this for me is state of grace?

persist and resist the temptation…

okay the more i listen to this the more i’m convinced it’s taylor reflecting on everything that happened in this album years later and reminiscing one day (don’t make the pun)

her vocals on this are so soothing i don’t know how to explain it

cardigan

i was really afraid i wouldn’t like this because of the title but i love it

the imagery really reminds me of poetry can we have folklore poems

i think it’s the chorus (starts with dancing in your levi’s) that i really adore

a friend to all is a friend to none taylor swift said if you are neutral in situations of injustice you have taken the side of the oppressor (no joke this is what i thought of the first time)

“heartbeat on the high line once in twenty lifetimes” might be my favourite lyric

the music video says so much about the album as a whole in terms of the pain

TO KISS IN CARS AND DOWNTOWN BARS WAS ALL WE NEEDED??? excuse me that’s literally a perfect lyric

the train comment this has such a gothic romance feel to it and i love the line peter losing wendy

when you are young they assume you know nothing maybe that’s my favourite lyric

CAUSE I KNEW EVERYTHING WHEN I WAS YOUNG no one talk to me

the front porch line has possible parallels to mad woman?

okay but if this isn’t narrated by betty i’ll eat my own foot

i feel like the hook has real potential to be cheesy / childish but she avoids it so well bless

also the production on this song? a literal dream. she picked the style of production i like best i swear to god thank you miss swift

the last great american dynasty

the beginning of this sounds a bit like 929 to me, but it’s very unique from the first two songs on the album and i like it a lot

okay but the storytelling in this first part of this song is unparalleled

she sounds like the town gossip and you know what? i love it

this is also a really dance-able song to me

blaming the woman… how victorian esque

the chorus is flawless from the lyrics to the vocals to the beat i really love that beat! is that a drum i don’t know music

taylor swift said bitch good for her

the way she says “boys” is really neat

“and losing on card game bets” vs “back when we were card sharks playing games i thought you were leading me on” literally no one is allowed to look at me

again i was dancing to this hard on the first listen because it’s amazing and i’m also seeing the lucky one / starlight vibes but it’s better than both those songs? how does she do it

AND THEN IT WAS BOUGHT BY ME??? i lost my mind?? also this reinforces my water as authenticity theory because she references midnight sea whatever i’ll expand later

i had a marvelous time ruining everything,,, maybe she’s the narrator maybe she’s betty like elizabeth taylor burton to this taylor,,,

her voice in this song is seriously amazing

exile ft. bon iver

this feels like a natural sequel to the last time but it has huge getaway car vibes thematically

okay a lot of people have said this is a haylor song but i see it as taylor’s evelyn hugo fanfiction and you can’t change my mind on that

she put a whole man on this song and it’s still super gay

also i don’t mind bon iver’s voice as much as gary lightbody but still gah (also i had no idea who he was before this album that’s on being born in 2005

)i think i’ve seen this film before but i didn’t like the ending… don’t know why this line hits so hard but it literally does no one touch me

the ooh vocalizations are really cool i am again obsessed with the production

god i just love the lyrics on this so much can you guys believe how amazing

i just want to discuss how this entire thing is evelyn hugo fanfictionso i’m leaving out the side door is thematically important to the album i don’t know how to explain this right now but i’m sure i’m right about this

walked a very thin line vs literally all of mirrorball

i gave so many signs no one touch me! we only know the version of someone they have chosen to show us! there will be no more explanation there will just be reputation

the homeland defending line is amazing i can’t get myself together apparently“i’ve seen this film before so i’m leaving out the side door” maybe the best lyric

the outro for this song is literally flawless i just want to ask taylor what was going through her mind when she made this album please

this song is so sad i don’t even want to discuss it i just want to cry

my tears ricochet

love her getting some sat vocab in spelling really is fun

the intro for this song is so pretty i love

if i’m on fire you’ll be made of ashes too vs the room is on fire invisible smoke

when i said taylor was painting herself as one of the heroes that die all alone i wasn’t kidding!

the way she says loved on this song is really appealing to me

this being the track five makes me super emotional i love this song

i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,,, you’re the hero flying around saving face,,, if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake,,,, god these lyrics just cut super hard okay!

i feel super personally called out by this goddamn song…

some to throw… some to make a diamond ring after the marriage fanfare

what a ghostly scene / i pace like a ghost

the concept of angrily haunting your past lover because they screwed you over is so amazing

used to tell me i was brave because i fought you

i think this is our first properly angry track five since like dear john and i want to put my head on the desk and start sobbing but i won’t

the halloween vibes of this are sending me this is so perfect

“i’m screaming at the sky” “stolen lullaby” amazing lyrics and also her vocals i don’t want to talk about how emotionally attached i am to this album because i am

so the battleships will sink beneath the waves again i think this song is really personal

the way she sings and the lyrics have a really specific effect i will be crying over

this song is so good. it’s so good. track five supremacy.can we discuss how perfect the production is on the album i think we should

mirrorball

yet more perfect production? she’s really feeding me with this one

after ithk and lwymmd i was not expecting to be so obsessed with track 6 but what a pleasant surprise. like i initially liked ithk too but not like this (don’t make the pun)

again i am so upset by the lyrics

the hush…. i think she invented singing

god the chorus is so specific and so very taylor that i could cry like!! yes!! this is what it’s all about no one touch me seriously i mean it this time

masquerade revelers means something and it’s a beautiful visual too man she really stepped up her songwriting with this album

this whole song feels like something directly out of a dream

THE BRIDGE? BRIDGE CITY? I AM THE RODEO CLOWNS? THE TIGHTROPE? I’M STILL A BELIEVER BUT I DON’T KNOW WHY? THE VOCALS? THE LAYERED SINGING? DON’T TALK TO ME

i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight means something and i will cry

seven

this means the most to me really i just… this is for the kids who were victims of something bigger than them and i don’t want to cry but i think i just might for personal reasons

i again really love the production thanks for my rights miss swift

the half speaking really works for me this time (and this song is closeted teenager rights)

passed down like folk songs,,, i have emotions and i finally learned how to pronounce folk

and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why these lyrics are flawless and stunning and god. yeah. this song y’all

will you run away with me? yes. you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet what did i say!! closeted teenager anthem i’m tatttooing this on my forehead

i used to scream ferociously and that whole lyric might be my favourite part

again her vocals are an absolute dream i love the higher register

i still got love for you,,, this is really about childhood love and the way it fades but leaves an indelible mark goodbye i am done i can’t deal with this

i would listen to karaoke of this on its own because the background music is so perfect

taylor swift saw me listening to the japanese house and girl in red and said “hey i can do that” and you know what? she could!

august

okay so before we start this listen i want to say this song made me hyperventilate and almost cry at one in the morning which was great like. i wanted a song that made me feel as much as say it by maggie rogers and taylor swift said “okay bet”

that being said i really do love this intro i feel it’s very beautiful and it reminds me of white teeth teens a bit i can’t explain why

this is the lowkey version of cruel summer and it is equally gay

never have i ever before,,, taylor said i will romanticize being a teenager in love and it will be the most beautiful album you have ever heard in your life

i can see us lost in the memory just the way she sings the chorus is so beautiful

honestly this makes me feel like i’m sitting in a field which i think is the vibe taylor wanted to accomplish with lover but hey

her cruel summers and augusts were the equivalent of my january huh

this is the sad ending for cruel summer this is when she looked up and said “yeah you being in love with me is the worst thing i’ve ever heard” no one talk to me ever again

“back when we were still changing for the better / wanting was enough” is an absolutely perfect lyric i don’t want anyone to speak to me for the next year

“to live for the hope of it all / cancelled plans just in case you called / and say meet me behind the mall / so much for summer love” that was amazing that was perfect thank you

“you were mine to lose”

i love this chorus so much it’s unreal it’s just wow

august sipped away like a bottle of wine CAUSE YOU WERE NEVER MINE

i don’t even know what lyric to type up because they’re all so good and they evoke such a specific feeling i feel like i was punched in the gut

have i mentioned how much i love this production yet? i love this production

isn’t this outro just the most stunning thing you’ve ever heard wow

this is me trying

such a change of pace in terms of production and yet i am completely enamoured by it

the intro is so beautiful and the way she just transitions into a song so viscerally about her insecurities i... i refuse to do this damnit

this is apologizing for cheating but it was on her this time (no i don’t think taylor actually cheated on anyone it’s called storytelling and i feel this is one of the songs farther from her than the others)

for some reason the background music reminds me of pure heroine?

lyrically and thematically it sounds like the archer and wow can’t tell you how much i adore that

favourite lyric: i got wasted like all my potential

the curve became a sphere,,,, this is just such a good and honest and raw song how does she do it i’m asking how does she do it

i really love the melody of this thing i don’t know what to tell you

it’s so upset and emotional but resigned in a sense? i can’t really properly describe this

again this is bridge city! i don’t know if i’ve said this before but the bridge for this song is truly impeccable her ability to do this astounds me like the songwriting alone y’all

i really do love the background beat

illicit affairs

the visuals and the imagery and the storyline of this song are so perfect and damn i can just see the music video (i maintain this is by the same narrator as august)

you’ll be flushed when you return do you see what i mean by perfect visuals?

the way her voice pitches up and the high notes

who allowed the chorus to be this amazing i’ve listened to it like ten times now and my eye still twitches (should i get that checked out?)

i would like to repeat that this is an extremely gay song thank you taylor

a dwindling mercurial high is such a good line ugh i love the imagery again

clandestine meetings and stolen stares,, our secret moments in a crowded room,,,

maybe the perfume thing could build off the water theme?

the bridge of this thing goddamn wow i can’t believe

YOU SHOWED ME COLOURS YOU KNOW I CAN’T SEE WITH ANYONE ELSE

she’s on a cliff screaming in anger because the affair destroyed her!! august + illicit affairs are the same narrator and this is me trying is the person she was with,,, actually i think this is me trying might be about the other person apologizing to the narrator of august + illicit affairs,,,,

you taught me a secret language you know i can’t speak with anyone else vs. do all lovers feel like they’re inventing something do you ever just sit on the floor and cry

for you i would ruin myself a million times,,, evelyn hugo quote about screaming i’m in love with celia st james,,, death by a thousand cuts,,,, yes it’s fine everything is fine

invisible string

ahhh the pizzicato! that’s beautiful that’s really on point she really said strings kids rights huh

i really do like this production and the way it contributes to this idyllic image of her childhood whew i love this song a lot

ugh the melody of the pre chorus is so lovely we have to stan

all along there was an invisible string,,, tying you to me,,, okay now i am mildly intrigued by how much of this was autobiographical goddamnit there will be no more explanation

bad was the blood… that’s so cute! she said i looked like an american singer! no one touch me

wow her vocals on this song are so lovely and the lyrics! aren’t the lyrics just flat out amazing we have to stan taylor swift i think

string that pulled me and there are musicians pulling strings in the background okay i see you

that dive bar,,, dive bar on the east side,,, we love a consistent muse (also met you in a bar)

oh yes i do really like this bridge too it’s so romantic and wonderful perfect

an axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart? i think she should be allowed to do that as a treat

the hell / heaven reference thanks for another religious metaphor to add to my collection

her vocals on this song are so unique and i also like them a lot my eye is twitching again

maybe i got my track eleven rights back didn’t it! i really hope this is track 11 otherwise i’m going to look like a clown (no i don’t want to google it)

the outro is so soothing and beautiful i think i hear a violin

mad woman

the piano! hearing real instruments on taylor songs again! we are so blessed

i think this is narrated by the same woman from the last great american dynasty honestly

maybe also by the august / illicit affairs narrator trying to get revenge my mind okay

every time you call me crazy i get more crazy ugh i love this! women straight up going unhinged i see you with your gone girl fanfiction miss swift

the way this song feels like a whispered confession and her vocals and the eerie nature of the background music we have absolutely no choice but to stan

now i breathe flames every time i talk is a really amazing visual

this feels like a better done version of i did something bad i said what i said

it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together - i love that line! i love unhinged taylor swift! blank space and idsb mashed together with a new feel i can’t put my finger on but i am quite literally obsessed with it

every time you call me crazy i get more crazy yeah that’s a line

there really isn’t anything like a mad woman (also this is intentionally linked to the last great american dynasty and i won’t shut up about this now)

the bridge is so intimidating and delightful! hell hath no fury like a scorned woman wow the visuals i see in my head are amazing

good wives always know taylor this is a better criticism of the patriarchy than the man is i just want you to know that from me personally

the outro is amazing there’s definitely some sort of snare drum here (i don’t know instruments again)

epiphany

it did not click that this song was about the pandemic the first time i listened to it

but honestly i am so obsessed with this intro it reminds me of the archer a little bit

i think this is paralleling war with the pandemic

ease your rifle and the accompanying vocal is so well song

okay the beaches reference is helping my water and authenticity thing

some things you just can’t speak about yeah i will lose my mind for personal reasons

this song is really comforting for some weird reason

something med school did not cover feels like an actual punch to the gut. someone’s daughter, someone’s mother… okay. okay i didn’t get this the first time but i am upset now.

and some things you just can’t speak about is a line and a half i think

it’s really just so beautiful and it’s hurting me

what’s the significance of twenty? she keeps referencing it and in lover too

but wow the bridge is otherworldly i love it so much… her mind amazes me

watch you breathe in… watch you breathe in…. please it’s so beautiful i can’t

actually this song might be one of my favourites it’s so good (of course i’ve thought that about all the songs so take this comment with a grain of salt please)

the outro is also super heavenly do i hear strings again?

betty

so we’re all in agreement this is gay

the beginning sounds so country and that’s her beginning and this is about a high school love

you can’t believe a word she says (most times) is so fun and cute i can’t believe i got rights handed to me on a silver platter with this one

the storyline she implies in the chorus it’s literally so beautiful i just have a lot of feelings! i snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate!

this feels like a quintessential taylor swift song with the characterizations and the lyrics and how it feels ripped out of a diary entry (yes i know it isn’t but that’s how it feels )

do i hear a fiddler? emily poe is that you? not the point i know

BUT IF I JUST SHOWED UP AT YOUR PARTY man the chorus really does snap

taylor swift said fuck 2020 god bless america we’re officially moving into a good timeline

on broken cobblestones is all of my rights encapsulated into one don’t touch me

this is just gay james is a lesbian i don’t make the rules i just enforce them please

betty i’m here on your doorstep LIKE IN THIS IS ME TRYING BETTY IS THE AUGUST / ILLICIT AFFAIRS / MAD WOMAN / CARDIGAN / THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY NARRATOR

the narrator of betty is the same as this is me trying no one talk anymore

WILL YOU HAVE WILL YOU LOVE ME WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS THE MOMENT OF EMOTIONAL CATHARSIS I EXPERIENCED

i’m only seventeen i don’t know anything and the way it explicitly connects to cardigan

car again / cardigan is some nice wordplay

this is an objectively perfect song

peace

the opening music for this track is really lovely, it feels like a good return to lowkey after how Much betty was honestly

our coming of age has come and gone is one of the best opening lines i’ve ever heard

i’ve never had courage in my convictions won’t you look at what a great lyric that is

no i can never give you peace,,, man i really do like this hook

the production on this song is amazing

i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm! the ocean wave line helps my authenticity theory! they say love’s for show but i would die for you in secret! is this a song or a series of excerpts from my poetry the world may never know (i’m kidding i could never write anything this good)

would it be enough if i could never give you peace no one look at me i can’t be perceived any more than this

it’s like i’m wasting your honour wow what a line that is especially after exile but then the narratives don’t exactly match up hold i’m thinking

swing with you for the fences (i know places) sit with you in the trenches (epiphany) i feel like there’s something to referencing those songs directly after each other

oh.. the child line…. oh?

i’m a clown to the north does that count

man this song is so good and it gives me serious call it what you want vibes for some reason

but i would die for you in secret i feel like this bears repeating cause i’ll scream

would it be enough,,,, am i too much,,,, i would like to lie down

the outro to this is so pretty and haunting and thematically it kind of reminds me of dwoht / afterglow but that’s just me

hoax

i wrote hoax lyrics pre album but hers are much better

my smoking gun,,, knife to a gunfight,,, the way,,, man

okay a depressing song to close out a taylor album is new and im going to lose my mind

i really love the piano in the background like that’s beautiful

the confessions screaming on the cliff vibe i was right

YOUR FAITHLESS LOVE’S THE ONLY HOAX I BELIEVE IN

no other sadness in the world would do well that is a depressing ending to seeing daylight

my best laid plans / my sleight of hand / my barren land she’s literally such an amazing songwriter why is anyone allowed to have this level of talent and not pay appropriate taxes

THE ASH FROM YOUR FIRE IS THIS THE PARALLEL TO MY TEARS RICOCHET? i think i cracked something here wow

YOU KNOW I LEFT A PART OF ME BACK IN NEW YORK PLEASE EXPLAIN

the hero died so what’s the movie for i’m fine this is all very fine can you hear me screaming

you knew you won so what’s the point of keeping score i really think this is the other half of my tears ricochet you guys

her voice and the production combined here is so haunting

my only one my kingdom come undone can we just have a mental breakdown super quickly and collectively so i know i’m not really losing my mind

i really love this song a lot wow

the piano harmonies / melodies are so pretty (i don’t know which one it is sue me)

it’s perfect wow

#arden speaks #folklore #folklore reaction #taylor swift #this is over four thousand words

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yououghtaknow · 3 years

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skam brighton season 5 music analysis

hello :) i’ve gone through all the songs on previous seasons of skam brighton and explained why i used them and i thought i would do it for season 5 now that it’s over.

tw for disucssion of addiction, racism, pedophilia, transphobia and homophobia

trailer

we begin with a bang with “don’t blame me” by taylor swift. now it has been said about me that i am a swiftie and it is true. and nick braxton is a reputation era bitch. this song has quite literally it all for nick’s character - we got christian themes, reference to drug addiction and an unhealthy devotion to someone. this trailer has gone through many songs to find the perfect one, but i decided on this one because of the themes, and also because of the line “they say she’s gone too far this time” - which, in regards to nick, can be read in many ways. we got the nick going “too far” with his love for james in subtly trying to break liz and james up, nick and their drug addiction, and nick and their relationship with their gender identity - going too far in both the masculine and feminine directions. also it bangs your honour.

episode one

we!! begin!! with!! saturday night’s alright for fighting by sir elton john!!! because it is saturday night and, as we’vee seen, nick isn’t afraid to get into a fight or two. this song specifically was chosen because of the movie rocketman, which i drew a lot of inspiration from, with the themes of drug addiction and sexuality. also, once again, it simply slaps.

we then get “ymca” by the village people playing in the background over the rest of the party scene. i chose this song because it is a very stereotypically gay song, and a lot of what i wanted nick to deal with was self-perception in regards to stereotypes. he is very stereotypically flamboyant because it’s both the way he is and a defensive mechanism - leading to his bisexuality being erased and being seen as gay a lot of the time. he ‘s pretty much the opposite in regards to his asian identity, with him not being academically intelligent and outspoken and being very british in their speaking patterns. it’s about the balance and duality and all that stuff.

then, as we are formally introduced to nick’s devotion to james, we get “where dreams go to die” by john grant. thank you to my friend katya for recommeding this song as a nick song because it is just. crazy. every line makes me want to scream. especially “this is like a well-oiled machine / could i please see that smile again? / it's all that makes me feel like i am living in this world”. like that just shows the extent of nick’s love - because sometimes you’re just in love with the idea of being saved rather than seeking help. is that poetic or am i just pretentiously talking about my trauma? who knows.

we then get “overprotected” by britney spears - because britney has been a nick staple the whole series. i first heard the song in the musical & juliet and i was immediately like “oh nick core”. the song opens with: “ i need time (time) / love (love), joy (joy) / i need space (love) / i need me (action!) / say hello to the girl that i am / you're gonna have to see through my perspective”. because we are literally seeing from nick’s perspective. i also wanted to introduce the gender dynamics early - including in the trailer, where nick refers to themself with she/her pronouns - and her nick is referred to in the text of the song as a girl. it’s also a very sad song about not having any control over your life with a fun pop backing track, which is very nick braxton.

we then get another party scene, that opens with “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” (by ariana grande) covered by sam fender. i chose this song because 1) i love the cover and 2) god is it a nick song. literally nick has so many wants (to be loved by their family, to get sober, to succeed in school, to explore their gender freely) but he focuses on wanting james and wanting james to leave liz because there are less achievable and thus safer. also the song fucking slaps.

we close with “happy little pill” by troye sivan, a mlm classic. a staple of 2014. i chose this song because 1) drug in title, easy get, and 2) it’s actually a really good song???? it’s about the dissociation. it’s very similar to the scene with bree in season 4 episode 1 where “chandelier” plays as she’s clearly not doing well but she’s pretending for the sake of her friends. nick and bree are narrative foils and i love them.

episode two

the first song of episode 2 is “be great” by lolandre and jeremy pope after we see nick and his dad’s dynamic for the first time. and it’s really something huh. it’s about how christian does want nick to be great, but christian has a very narrow idea of what success and happiness looks like.

the next bit of media we get in this episode is nick watching the first episode of euphoria. when preparing to write various seasons of skam brighton, i watched a lot of teen dramas to get a good feel for the vibe i was going for. euphoria was one of them and it’s a show i have a lot of mixed feelings for - i think it’s very well crafted and extremely interesting but i also do have issues with the sexualisation of teenagers on screen, even if it is mostly realistic. i chose this scene specifically because nick and rue are very similar characters, in regards to their relationships with their parents (i believe nick is more of a jules kinnie but more on that later). they both just want to be a good kid and make them happy, but they can never seem to do it. gia, rue’s younger sister, is also a parallel to nick’s brothers.

we then get “old eden” by honeywater which is just simply a song i like very much that had the vibes of the scene. also the lines “i want love / but i don't just want love, i want you / i see the beach house, your sweet mouth / but the terrible news / is that love is not how it seems on the screen / yeah, real love has problems / but it's what's in-between that's the best” is simply just nick braxton huh. ambiguous disorder.

we then get “generation why” by conan gray as nick storms out of their house after a fight with their parents. i chose it very simply for the vibes because i only listened to this song once and thought “i do not wish to listen to this in my free time but it is a nick braxton time”. it’s just the angsty indie pop main character walking down the street vibes.

we!!! end!!! with!!! a song i love very much - “sex drive” by austin mckenzie of dwsa fame. this song plays over nick getting “rejected” by james and resorting to grindr to feed their want for human affection - which is where the parallels to ms jules euphoria come from. i chose this song specifically because it begins with the lines “who’s driving?” on repeat, which calls into question who is in control in the scenario. as seen on screen, nick is the one who initiates the “date” but, at the end of the day, nick is an underage teenager and the person he’s on a date with is an adult man. also the song is simply a fun bisexual time.

episode three

we open with “hurricane drunk” by florence and the machine, a song that has been decidedly nick core since 2018. like “i’m in the grip of a hurricane / i’m going to blow myself away”...... nick braxton you crazy little person

“yours” by greyson chance plays over nick and james driving out to the woods to skip school together….. it is quite insane. “no matter who i'm with, it's you that i adore / if you're not sure / baby, i'm yours” like i scream and shout nick braxton has always been in love with the concept of james cohen

“myrtle ave.” by mxmtoon plays as nick is feeling isolated from his friends…. like they just vibe with the song and the lyrics so hard. nick is just. i have no words other than i love them.

we close with “st jimmy” by green day because. goddammit isn’t he. like james just comes out as bisexual (just like st jimmy in american idiot the broadway musical) and nick is like “you are like a saint to me, i worship you, i will do anything for you”. like it’s a song about drug addiction but it’s also about being bisexual but it’s also about the performance of masculinity and the performance of being a “rebel” that james and nick both do i love them so much.

episode four

we begin with “lucy in the sky with diamonds” by the beatles. i do not listen to the beatles but i think the song is about drugs and the beatles is a james cohen band in canon so it has the connotations babey.

we then get “seventeen” by troye sivan as nick goes on grindr to seek out adult men. it’s genuinely such a nick song - once again, the fun poppy music in the background and the deeply upsetting lyrics. also, as in season 4, i chose this song to emphasise the fact that nick is seventeen and a minor and should not be doing these activities.

we then get “dancing on my own” by robyn as we’re at the vaguely halloween-esque party. it’s once again about the boppy music and sad lyrics and like. nick voice i’m in the corner watching you kiss her ohhhhhh i’m right over here why can’t you see me ohhhhhhh i’m giving it my all but i’m not the guy you’re taking home ooooh i keep dancing on my own. like he’s fucking insane (he is both me and nick)

and then!!!! we get a scene very personal to me. nick watching rocky horror for the first time at a shadowcast showing and watching “the time warp”. i first saw rocky horror when i was about 10/11 because i saw it on glee and wanted to watch the real movie and it made me so so transgender and homosexual. it is such a non-binary little movie and the time warp is just an absolute bop.

it’s followed by a brief showing of “sweet transvestite” because tim curry in that movie is such an experience for anyone involved. like oh to be gender questioning nick braxton and to see that. what a fucking experience. and also to be gender questioning 11 year old me and to see that and then find out my school is doing a kidz bop version of rocky horror. fucking insane transgender times.

we close with “cecily smith” by will connolly as milo and nick walk home together because. it is just such a sweet song. like life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with. and it is a very nickmilo song and i am the president of nickmilo nation. i love a non-binary romance i do i do i do.

episode five

we open with “halloween” by phoebe bridgers because it is literally halloween. insane. but it is also such a nick braxton song like come on man we can be anything…… nick braxton voice i’ll be whatever you want…… it’s about the people pleasing and the desire to be wanted and needed loved and goodness gracious. also nick braxton fig faeth kinnie for this song specifically.

and then!!!!! we get nick dramatically singing “girl crush” by the harry styles version in his bathroom mirror. because goddammit they do have a girl crush. it’s about the gender and the desire to both be with james and to be liz becausenick is non-binary babey……..

and then!!!!! in such a parallel!!!!! we get milo singing “inner white girl” from a strange loop on their instagram live. “a strange loop” was a big inspiration for this season, with very similar themes fo it (you should listen to it right now) and this song….. quite genuinely we have nick singing a song about wanting to be a white girl and then they hear this song….. like nick does cling to his inner white girl as a way of staying safe - they cling to the safe idea of mlm flamboyancy and humour to hide from their genuine emotions and gender……. like it is insane to me. also white girls can do anything can’t they!!!!!!!

we then get “the people who raised me” by gregory and the hawks after nick has a fight with their parents…. “but i won't mind no time spent to save me / just trying to be good to the people who raised me” literally nick is trying his best to be good but he can’t be and that makes him angry!!!!!! but that anger is born out of a deep, deep sadness that nick has no emotional language to express, but anger is a language he can speak and it is. insane. like it’s about masculinity, it’s about femininity, it’s about everything. fuck.

we then get "search your heart" by george feeny as nick sadly vibes at school…. also this scene does parallel with the liz/mary scene in season 2 where their parents fight. like liz is shitty to her friends but stays for her sister and nick is great to his friends but leaves his brothers behind….. the range.

and then!!!! we get phoebe bridgers’ cover of “friday i’m in love” because it is friday and nick is in love huh.

and then!!!!!!!!!! a moment i have been building up to!!!!! we get “back to black” by ms amy winehouse after nick finds out james has a crush on alistair thee fletcher. and just like. god. this song has everything for nick. it’s a song about depression, addiction, leaving your lover, anger, bitterness, second choice ness….. and also he is literally going back to black with his hair colour!!!!! because he thinks being more masculine is what will make people love him and he views pink hair as un-masculine!!!!! and he’s also going back to his family, so he’s going back to trying to hide himself to fit into their expectations….. like god it is an insane little time.

episode six

we open with “idk if i’m a boy” by blue foster - a song i got on my discover weekly and it was a deeply personal attack. like nick voice i don’t know if i’m a reject i don’t know if i’m a loser but i know that i’ve been feeling feminine since i’ve been teething…. and how the song uses humour as a way to cope with gender dysphoria like it’s nick bay bee.

we then get “green light” by lorde because god it is such a james/nick song i feel insane. like “did it frighten you / how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?” because james and nick have canonically kissed many times before….. also lorde as an artist just has such intense nick vibes it’s so much fun

we then get "fluorescent adolescent" by arctic monkeys over a party scene because i’ve been told on the internet that it is a british teen party classic. unfortunately the rowdiest party i’ve ever been to is my cousin’s christening so i do not know if it is factual, but it does slap.

we then get vérité’s cover of somebody else by the 1975 because i just simply prefer this version. but like. oh nick braxton. oh it’s about the rori and the james and the nick being afraid of being open and committing to someone but still wanting to feel the sense of being wanted by someone and being the sole person they want….. literally it is very crazy.

and then we end with “sugar we’re going down” by fall out boy!!!!! like it it such a good song nick voice am i more than you bargained for yet!!! i’ve been dying to tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear!!!! because that’s just who i am this week!!!!! like it fits so well with his character but also it is so funny that sugar we’re going down plays as they faint at the party……. i am a comedian sometimes.

episode seven

the first song we get in this ep is “demi moore” by phoebe bridgers as nick is detoxing in the hospital. like quite genuinely “i don’t wanna be stoned anymore!!!!!!!!” they don’t want to be alone anymore!!!!!!!!!

then we get “bite the hand” by boygenius. just. like. “i can’t love you the way you want me to” is just. such a statement for nick’s season. like he can’t love james the way james wants to be loved by nick, they can’t love their parents, their parents can’t love them…… it’s all about learning how to love in a way that is felt by all parties involved in the relationship be it romantic, platonic, familial or otherwise. like. it’s so insane it’s all about love

and then we get “relay” by fiona apple - which was a contender for the trailer song at some point. like nick @ alistair is very “i resent you for being raised right etc.” because he knows liz is fucked up and has flaws, he’s seen them, but alistair is easy to project all of his hatred onto. also just like evil is a relay sport thank you ms apple.

we then get “girls just wanna have fun” by cyndi lauper and “dancing queen” and “mamma mia” by abba sung at the lgbt youth club karaoke night because. i mean of course they are. also they are very fun gender songs and i enjoy them :)

and then. my friends. the moment you’ve been waiting for. nick braxton singing alanis morrissette’s “you oughta know”. now this is gonna be a long one.

the you oughta know analysis

first things first, i got the jagged little pill broadway behind the scenes book for christmas and there’s a whole chapter about you oughta know being a song about the queer struggle of being unseen and unheard and i feel so validated like that is exactly what the song is about.

but for nick. oh baby. it is them singing to james, to rori, to al, to liz, to bree, to his parents, to his teachers, to everyone who perceives them wrong. it’s their moment of standing up and saying i am angry and i am serious about this and i deserve to be listened to as a young person. i will now give an in depth analysis of every line i want to.

“the perfect version of me” - bree and nick have had so many parallels throughout the series, which bree can be described as a “better” version of nick. they’re in therapy, she’s taking care of herself, they’re bisexual and it’s accepted by everyone, she’s a good partner to rori, she has parents who love her, and she can be gender non-conforming in a safe way. but this line also applies to al - because nick and al have also been compared this season, with al talking about how he’s comfortable with his femininity and james liking al, who, despite claiming to be more feminine, is still more traditionally masculine than nick. al, bree and liz are all very academically smart. they are all very creatively gifted. liz doesn’t struggle for money. nick, in their mind, compared to all of these people, is a failure.

“so she speaks eloquently / and she could have your baby / i'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother” - this applied to both liz and bree, who both try to be seen as very eloquent speakers, and who are both afab, so therefore can have james’s baby - something nick wouldn’t be able to do. but we have seen in liz and bree’s seasons that they both have sexual trauma, and bree especially is uncomfortable with having children. it’s nick having this idea of womanhood and femininity being something so unattainable and required for james - that it kind of segways into al. because al is also assigned female at birth and could, as he is pre-t, hypothetically have a child, which is playing into some transphobic notions, but nick sees al as both more feminine and more masculine than him - making al just perfect for james.

“and every time you speak his name / does he know why you told me / you'd be there until you died / 'til you died, but you're still alive” - nick changes to he pronouns here, now directly talking about al. we’ve seen james flirting with nick and we know they’ve kissed in the past, and james and nick are incredibly close friends. but james still, in nick’s mind at this point, chose al over him.

“it was a slap in the face / how quickly i was replaced / and are you thinking of me when she fucks you?” - the conversation about how all the skam brighton characters relate to the line between sex and love is so interesting to me. it is also the reason i do not allow my parents to read this show. but anyways - nick does feel so genuinely replaced by everyone in his life, like there’s always a newer, better version waiting just around the corner. what nick doesn’t know is that that is how everyone else around him feels as well. and the line “are you thinking of me when she fucks you” is such a pointed line because it’s not a line of confidence or a joke. nick knows that no one thinks about them like that because they feel repulsive but try to play it off as a joke.

then we get the “i” section, which is, in the script, more “ayes” and “nahs”, but i wanted to change it to be the word “i” specifically because so much of the season is nick existing for other people. for their parents, for their friends, for their clients, for james. in this moment, they are choosing themself. they are standing up and saying “what i feel is important and i fucking matter”

“'cause the joke that you laid in the bed, that was me / and i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes / and you know it” - because nick’s sexuality and nick as a romantic partner is treated as such a joke throughout the show’s run, and james has been trying to turn every time he kissed nick into a joke that will go away, but it’s not going to go away because nick remembers it. even if james tries to deny his sexuality to nick’s face, nick is always going to remember that james was, at some point, attracted to men enough to kiss him.

“and every time i scratch my nails / down someone else's back, i hope you feel it / well, can you feel it?” - every time nick has sought out sex with strangers it’s because they feel rejected and insecure in themself. they seek out this sexual validation as a way to feed their want to be loved and noticed by people and he wants james and rori to feel hurt by it - he wants to have the power, he wants to have the control.

“and i’m here” - this line is just. so powerful to me. because it’s a line of defeat - after all this time, nick’s ended up at some crappy youth group with his little brother babysitting him, and he’s been dumped and cheated on and overdosed and everything is so awful. but then it becomes a line of celebration. of “yeah, all that shit happened to me, but i’m still here, i’m still standing, and no one can take away the fact that i am here and i am alive and i deserve to be respected” - something milo taught them when they talked about their tattoo

“to remind you of the mess you left when you went away” - nick himself is the mess they all left - because they feel so abandoned and alone and like they are just a mess to be discarded, but he’s here to remind everyone that he’s here. it’s a call for help.

“it's not fair, to deny me / of the cross i bear that you gave to me” - this line i always saw as directed at his parents - they gave him this cross of being the perfect eldest sibling that ended up crushing him, and they deny that it ever happened. but nick knows it did. the same way he knows james like guys. the same way he knows rori didn’t like only him. the same way he’s been denying himself of the cross he bears of being non-binary, the cross of being an addict, the cross of being a mentally ill neurodivergent person. this song is him finally letting go of that denial.

“you oughta know” - he’s talking to everyone with that line. everyone should know about his pain, about his emotions, about what he’s gone through, because he’s kept it so bottled up for years. it’s not fair for him not to share it because he deserve to.

they don’t call me isaac tumblr user yououghtaknowmp3 for nothing.

episode eight

we open with “seven” by taylor swift as nick reads a letter they wrote to their younger self. like. “i used to scream ferociously any time i wanted” is such a line about being neurodivergent as a child and then being forced to mask as you grow up….. also the bridge is just james and nick core…. you should come live with me and we could be pirates…..

we then get “nonbinary” by arca because i feel like at this point nick would be trying to listen to more nonbinary artists because they want to see themself reflected rather than running from it!!!!

we then get “heather” by conan gray as nick and liz accidentally meet at the local mentally ill teen zone. because i am just fucking crazy like that. and yes, i chose that song before it got big on tiktok. but i think it’s funnier because it is a famous song.

we then get “falling” by harry styles as nick is being emo in their bedroom because nick is just the type of person who will dramatically listen to harry styles in their bedroom whilst being sad. it also completes the full circle of sad taylor swift to sad harry styles, but with no vehicular manslaughter.

we then get “400 lux” by lorde after james and nick have their big conversation because like it is just a them song. like you buy me orange juice. it’s also about the james/nick having a gansey/ronan dynamic in the way that nick is devotedly in love with him and james is just being homoerotic for the jokes. but not most other ways. honestly i haven’t thought about the skam brighton versions of these characters in trc….. many thoughts head full

episode nine

we open with “pink rabbits” by the national as nick redyes their hair back to pink. and i’ll be honest. i only chose this song because it has pink in the title. but it does still vibe with nick though.

we then get “be your own 3am” by adult mom as nick is dealing with some bad cravings. it’s just a very pretty song for listening to alone at night in your bed in that weird space between sleep and awake. i love it.

we then get “i am not a robot” by marina as nick walks down the street because nick is a marina bitch!!!!!!! and “you've been acting awful tough lately / smoking a lot of cigarettes lately / but inside, you're just a little baby / it's okay to say you've got a weak spot” is such a nick @ james line it makes me insane

also rich’s entire character and backstory is directly lifted from skins gen 3 because i am niche and make content just for me

we then end with “rager teenager!” by troye sivan because i have listened to that song exactly once, decided it had nick vibes, and just stuck it in an episode somewhere.

episode ten

we open with “strange torpedo” by lucy dacus because it is just. such a nick song. it is insane. i am insane. like it is about nick wanting someone but not being sure who or what it is because he just wants to be loved and discovers that sometimes being liked is better than being loved…….

we then get “used to you” by mxmtoon and like….. “tell me what i can say / and i can say it / tell me what i can do / and i can do my best / tell me who i should be / and i can change it” is such a nick early s5 lyric…… and how the song is kind of a love song but the line “now i’m just kind of used to you” is very nick about his feelings towards james

we then get “gay street fighter” by keiynan lonsdale as milo gets their sexy slow mo that all of the love interests get at some point. they deserve it.

and then “to be alone with you” by sufjan stevens plays as milo and nick have their first kiss in the pool because i always wanted to include that scene and thought “hey here is good”. and like. they are alone with each other a lot and they like spending time with each other….. they are friends, they are teens, they are falling in love a little <3

we then get “creep” by lena hall as nick has a little gender moment at school. lena hall played yitzhak in the broadway revival of hedwig and the angry inch and she just has so much gender. creep has always been a nick song and this cover just…. it’s them.

we then get some ambient guitar music during the nick/rori scene and i chose some songs from “your city gave me asthma” by wilbur soot because it is a fucking great album and nick is canonically a mcyt stan so i simply had to. we end with “your new boyfriend”, which is a funnier, happier wilbur soot song and it is simply a fun time.

episode eleven

we open with “gender is boring” by she/her/hers which is just an absolute banger. like “gender never really meant that much to me / til' people started telling me how it was supposed to be” is such a great line and it is very nick braxton because. like. it’s just gender babey everything is about gender except for gender which is about having fun.

“dorothea” by taylor swift plays as james and nick have their final big scene together and like. it is such a homoerotic and fun song i love it so much thank you taylor friend of the show swift. “and if you're ever tired of being known / for who you know / you know, you'll always know me” is just……. god.

we then get “i do (end credits)” by kevin abstract as we open on the final scene of the season because a) it has end credits in the title and b) it is just another song i think nick would enjoy listening to.

we then get “they/them/theirs” by worriers as we get another little party montage because it’s a vibe time and like. i do love a they/them pronoun moment. it’s a very good and fun pronoun to use.

and finally we get “prelude” from next to normal as al comes in late to the party and awkwardly stands at the back. i chose this song because. well. you’ll see :)

thank you for reading my analysis that no one asked for, i just love having fun and talking about my silly little show :)

#skam brighton #skam brighton spoilers #isaac speaks #who wants my two page long essay on you oughta know but specifically for MY nonbinary comic relief character with christian trauma #i am fucking crazy BUT i am free :)

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

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Director’s Cut 3: Danny Rayburn

* Well it’s more a focus on our Reader character, but, Danny.

“What was the inspiration behind Liliana and her family? Because they’re all so amazing 😭🙏 and how did you choose the name Devan?”

Liv, bless you for asking the difficult questions! Now you get a look inside my crazy mind (as if you hadn’t all already with Andrew.)

So, If you thought Andrew was a long post you better grab your favourite drink and your Danny playlist and settle in!

The following specifically refers to our reader character and her family, and the events of Sway and it’s spin-offs, which I will obviously always encourage you to read! 😁 Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Sweet Spot / All I Want For Christmas / Good Woman

What was the inspiration behind Liliana and her family?

Before we go into too much detail I want you to imagine 1st January, 2019. And then a girl who had recently purchased Camila Cabello’s first album - late, after being super impressed by her performance opening for Taylor Swift - and watched the first episode of Bloodline AND Dirty Dancing 2 (the trade off for having your mum watch Rogue One with you) in one single day. Anyone who hasn’t listened to Camila’s album, this is essentially Danny’s dance playlist, I don’t make the rules

I had ideas for Danny before I even started to watch. Mostly because when you’re first immersed in the world of Ben Mendelsohn and trawl through blogs, you can’t help but notice Danny. Annnd found out a lot about the show, which caused me to have a BUNCH of misconceptions and create a story in my head that was just... not even remotely close to what Bloodline is.

So here’s the deal, I occasionally like thinking about some of Ben’s characters gender bent, and how that would make them different/similar and affect their stories. I did this with Andrew and Gerry before I did it with Danny (because can we just think about Animal Kingdom if they were female?). And then armed with my assumptions, I came up with a story for Bloodline. “Linzi, why are you telling me this-!?” I hear you cry, but don’t leave the post just yet! Just keep in mind that Jack Ervin was (female) Danny’s restaurant accountant and also will they / won’t they love affair, that uhm. Well they didn’t, because Danny dies. For all intents and purposes a lot of Jack’s plot points became Lily’s (including bringing back the restaurant). Also I had a great character with a great name that I didn’t want to waste. Jack became Liliana’s dad - and therefore we got: Jack and Liliana Ervin.

Back to Dirty Dancing 2 - set in Havana, complete with its ‘will they/won’t they’ love story (of different social classes!) and of course, Latin American dancing. To say I borrowed a lot of ideas from this is probably an understatement - but Danny is a Miami boy, and Miami has Little Havana. Quickly it all kinda fell together. But in this case, Danny is the out of his element American and Liliana (given that her parents are both from Latin American backgrounds) is the dancer. Added to that in DD2 the girls parents are both dancers, I was happy to keep an element of that for our girl too. Jack remained Jack Ervin, with his name actually being Juan Ervin (American Father, Argentinian Mother) but changing his name to Jack to fit in with his Miami high-society persona. Maria (American Mother, Puerto Rican Father) basically has a super cliche Hispanic name, I know (well both of them do but Juan is the equiv. to Jack so that’s how we ended up there) but it worked for me. Liliana’s name... I don’t even know where I got it from - sometimes names just come to me, sometimes I spend hours finding a good one on all these naming sites! 😅 Lily just came to me, I certainly wanted something that could be shortened Liliana->Lily but also something that went with Danny’s name. Liliana Rayburn is a great name. (I know the irony of that, you don’t need to tell me twice!) I need a ship name for them.

Let’s take a little look at their character for a second though: Jack and Maria are meant to be parallel to Robert and Sally. But also the complete opposite. Jack is described as a ruthless businessman who doesn’t care to much about his reputation in business. He’ll just get the job done no matter what the cost. The catch being of course that really Jack is a lovely guy, he cares very much about his family (+ extended family!) and is a well respected member of Miami society. Ruthless yes - but Maria and Lily mean more than the world to him - and eventually Danny too. “No man is good enough for your daughter until one is. And he is.” and also “He would have given you the world, and I would have let him.” Just sayin’ he’s a good father and a good man. Maria is mentioned a little less than Jack is but I think that’s because I basically want to compare Jack/Danny to Robert/Danny. I also think that Jack has more to do with the overall story; he’s the one with the well known construction company that everyone recognises Liliana’s last name from, the reason that everyone is all over Danny with the “You can’t get involved with Jack Ervin’s daughter!!” spiel. Maria is the quieter character, but spends a lot of time showering Danny with love when she is around. Lily’s parents were all about giving Danny family that loved him unconditionally. A real family. She’s... probably a little more on the ‘stereotypical’ side of Hispanic parents, but there’s a reason for that-! One of my very best friends is Peruvian, and every time I visit him it’s like visiting my second family. Like from the very first time I met them his parents were SO kind, like above and beyond... and so adorable... oh my gosh, I love them so much and they are 100% inspiration for Jack and Maria. Maria is basically his mum. 😁 But more than anything I wanted Jack and Maria that wanted nothing more for their daughter than for her to find someone who loves her. No matter who he is or his background or anything like that. Which was important to me, especially having been through a relationship myself where my family didn’t really approve of him because he wasn’t from the same social class. I’m certainly not about that.

As your tags put it - Jack and Maria are the biggest Danny/Liliana shippers! 😁 (With Javi and Jason a close second! And I won’t leave out Evie and Amanda either!)

Liliana Oh my gosh. My love for her can’t be overstated. I say it every time, but I’ll say it again. When I started her and Danny’s journey on that dancefloor in January 2019 I never would have dreamed I’d be still here now nearing fic number 200. I wasn’t even sure if anyone would have been interested in them enough for me to ever write more than just Sway 1. But, when you’re asked to write a second part then you know it’s got traction and you end up with 10, of course! Inspiration for Liliana? Good question. A little like I said for Elaiyna with Andrew, I needed a S/O that fit with Danny and his story. I say at the start of part 10 that really it’s her story. And it is, Danny takes her from one night stands with men she meets on the dancefloor to mother of 2 kids in a loving relationship where it’s clear that she will never love anyone else. And it’s his character/personality, being as in character as possible, that leads her there. Liliana never runs out of chances, she forgives Danny for everything he does because she loves him so much. Because she can’t bear to think of life without him, nor what his life would be like if she left. Liliana is... a strong woman who doesn’t know how strong she is. She loves unconditionally and she doesn’t care that Danny is not on top of his game - he’s struggled his whole life, but he does not have to struggle with her. She’s meant to be the easiest thing about his life - home, a safe place, strength and stability. Danny is her adventure - with all his secrets, and his past, and how much he suffers she’s presented with a problem that she can’t solve, she can’t save,but loves him anyway. Lily will never give up. The contrast between the two worlds they are in when they meet, and then the one they build together as they grow which takes that contrast and just makes it work. Like they just work - sure I made it that way, but I tried to make it realistic. Love has no barriers, right? It shouldn’t. To quote my characters again: “There’s one fairytale here, and it’s yours.”

I wouldn’t give her a pushover title - sure she never runs out of chances for him (perhaps its arguable that she could walk away but it never occurred to me that that was her personality.) but like, screw his family. She won’t ever forgive them for what they’ve done to him, she won’t ever trust them. So why does she forgive John? Because that’s her character. That’s what Danny made her. John and Danny’s relationship always fascinated me in the show and it just strikes me that Danny and John were close, even with all that happened. Danny would want Lily to forgive him - and maybe Lily only forgives him FOR Danny, but it’s in her character. She’s tired of all this conflict and all she wants is for John to confirm he did it so she knows for sure. Liliana has elements of me in her, perhaps a little more than most of my other OCs, elements of my feelings towards characters in the show as I continued to watch, elements of other OC’s of mine (and physically too. Her Psalm tattoo I directly lifted from someone else. Hey, it be that way sometimes!) and elements of all these pieces that inspired me to write her in the first place.

I mean I don’t know if that really explains it clearly. Because there’s not really one clear inspiration for them - but from a range of different sources and elements. I hope that it even helps explain it a little though! 😅

How did you chose the name Devan?

Oh my gosh, okay. Liv why did you have to ask this question! So, oh god this is so stupid. Basically, although I knew that they would have a son, because our characters didn’t know that they were going to have a son, I wanted to give the baby a unisex name. Because I ALSO knew I was going to follow Bloodline canon it was also important to me that Danny be the one to chose the name. Added to that, like Nolan, I knew that Danny and Lily’s baby was going to keep that Rayburn last name. Devan Rayburn and Devan Ervin both sound pretty great to me..!

Obviously, it should be Devin. And the only reason I think I chose Devan was because a) I actually thought that was how you spelled it... (I mean I guess so, there’s no other logical reason I can’t have called him Devin... unless I looked at Devin Ervin and thought... ‘that’s basically the same’ and so changed the spelling but it was definitely always written Devan in plans etc) and b) a singer called Devin Dawson. When I was on my year long internship in the USA I was able to listen to country music radio - specifically the station a family friend worked on. And they were obsessed with a song called “All On Me” by Devin Dawson. (actually it’s a good one for this series, but that’s beside the point!) So I heard his name all the time, and I’m 99% sure that I got it from him. (Also fast forward and I’ve actually now seen the guy in concert and was like “Oh yeah I named a character after you.” so yeah it’s probably Devin Dawson’s fault. ) At the end of part 8 I left a note that says “Devan isn’t easily explainable but I hope you like it.” and honestly, if there’s a bigger story I can’t remember it. I know that ‘Evan’ was another character in my genderbent story but I don’t think I just added the ‘D’ to that... Maybe that was an element of it though?

Also I’m a sucker for ‘weird’ names or weirdly spelled names - a lot of my OCs fall victim to this - sorry girls! 😅 So it’s unsurprising that he ended up Devan, not Devin. Also I’d pronounce it “Dev-an” with a soft ‘a’ sound...

Interestingly it took me a little longer to decide on his middle name being Daniel. I guess I’m not sure how good “Devan Daniel Rayburn” sounds... But then I wasn’t about to resist it, and it seems like the kind of decision that Liliana would make.

I hope that answered your questions Liv! 🙏💜💙 You’re always welcome to ask for further clarification! 😁

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Thank you as always for being interested in my work! Just gonna remind you all that you can ask for a Fanfic directors cut ! I would love to answer any questions! 🥰😘

I mean it, I’d beg. Don’t make me get that Danny gif.

#Liliana #The Ervin Family #Long Post #Sway #mendelskrull #TY Liv! Thank you for getting immersed in Sway enough to ask these questions!

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lochsides · 3 years

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evermore: Track-by-Track review

I didn't think I'd be writing another review for a Taylor Swift album so soon after folklore but here we are. Truthfully though, evermore feels more like a figment of my imagination than a real album, and as a result this album has been a grower for me. When Taylor said evemore would be the sister record to folklore, I was curious as to the distinguishable differences between the two, because Taylor wouldn't simply give us the same album twice. evermore is, strangely, both the wild younger sister that's more experimental and the wise older sister with a mature outlook on life. Where folklore was a product of isolation, evermore is a product of creativity and that can be felt in the music.

I’ve written my thoughts and theories on each song, and bolded my favourites, below the cut, if you’re interested. I also included my current ranking at the bottom.

Taylor has been very good at picking leading singles for the folklore/evermore era. willow is brilliantly catchy while maintaining the alternative folk sound that she established in folklore. Her vocals suit the song so well, especially on ‘follow’/“hollow” in the chorus. They pair so beautifully with the mesmerising production. The reason this song is one my favourites is purely because of the rhythm and the guitar. The lyrics are, for once, a bonus. As an entry point to evermore, willow does not ease the listener in, the song instead throws the listener in the deep end — which I feel was intentional, as Taylor said evermore was the product of wandering further into the folklorian woods.

champagne problems is easily my favourite song on this album. Storytelling is Taylor's biggest strength as a songwriter and I think this song is a achingly beautiful example of what an emotive storyteller Taylor is. It would be so difficult for me to pick a favourite lyric from this song but I love how she sets in train in the opening line, "you booked the night train for a reason, so you could sit there in this hurt / bustling crowds or silent sleepers, you're not sure which is worse." The accompaniment is gorgeous and the composition of the bridge is breathtaking. Every time the bridge plays I get chills.

gold rush was a grower for me. I'm still not a fan of the intro/outro but I enjoy the production in the rest of the song once the beat kicks in. I think it's one of the more experimental sounds on evermore but it's very catchy. I won't even talk about how the chorus called me out with "I don't like slow-motion, double vision in a rose blush, I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush."

'tis the damn season is the non-holiday-holiday song that still has a classic sound and production. I know this song is Dorothea's perspective but I get a lot of illicit affairs parallels with this one as well: "don't call me baby" / "you could call me babe for the weekend", "what started in beautiful rooms ends with meetings in parking lots" / "the road not taken looks real good now, time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires".

tolerate it is a hard song for me to review because I literally zone out every time I listen to it. I think it's my brain's way of protecting me from toxic relationship trauma 🙃 but it's another gut-punch track five, what else is new? I mean she literally said "now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life, drawing hearts in the byline, always taking up too much space or time," and broke my nervous system.

no body, no crime is the best country song Taylor has ever written, period. The sirens at the start, the storytelling, the way it sounds like an old-school murder-mystery movie. HAIM on the backing vocals were great, though I do wish they had at least a verse of their own. That's literally my only critique of this song. It's that good.

There's so much maturity in Taylor's outlook on happiness. I connect this song to her tarnished relationship Sc*tt/BMG and how she's happy after leaving but she was also happy during the time she was with them. I really enjoyed the simple addition of the piano and the way it built up to add depth to the production. Taylor's delivery of the line "no one teaches what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too" really hits me.

dorothea is a really nostalgic, retro school-dance-vibe, kinda playful song with a personality, which I adore. The production is absolutely timeless. I woke up today with the chorus stuck in my head. I think "if you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you know, you'll always know me" is fun word play and I'm a nerd of that type of thing. (Side note: to me, this song feels very reminiscent of her friendship with Karlie Kloss, right down to the "selling makeup in magazines.")

coney island gives me desolate, abandoned theme park vibes. The simplicity of the production only enhances it. It's everything I could've hoped for in a song titled "coney island" and featuring The National. Matt Berninger's vocals are absolutely astounding. What does it say about me that my favourite aspect of this song is the feeling of despair laced into its bloodstream.

ivy is another favourite but what did I expect from a song filled to the brim with longing and mentioning the crescent moon? The instrumentation and her vocal styling is similar to willow. There are also lyrical parallels of "... your freezing hand, taking mine" / "I'm begging for you to take my hand" and "how's one to know I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone" / "I never would've known from the look on your face" and she echoes both those sentiments in a different way after the respective bridges and I wonder if that's intentional. Knowing Taylor Swift, probably.

cowboy like me belongs in the center of a country/folk/slow blues Venn diagram. It's the perfect blend of the three genres. Marcus Mumford's back vocals sound so good with Taylor's. "We could be the way forward, and I know I'll pay for it" and "the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up" are great lyrics.

I'm not all about the way long story short stars but the song quickly settles into its skin. This is easily the most pop-sounding song on evermore but it's still somewhat experimental in comparison to Taylor's existing discography and I think it's cool that she can find space to experiment within a musical space that she has all but mastered. Say what you will but Taylor Swift knows how to make hits no matter the genre. The lyrics "he's passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky and he feels like home" reminds me so much of Call It What You Want.

marjorie gave me chills on the very first listen when Taylor sings about how her grandmother left her backlogged dreams to her. I love that they used her grandmother's actual vocals in the background, that's a really heartwarming detail. This song comes with some really solid advice too. It just feels very personal. I love the way production builds on "what does didn't stay dead" right to the bridge, which is my favourite part of the song.

closure is easily the most experimental song on the album with that the scratch tape sound and those drums. I love the sheer pettiness in her tone and the lyric "don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled" is brilliant. That said, this is probably my least favourite. I think it's a cool song but just not for me.

evermore has some of the most beautiful lyrics on the album. "I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong" and "barefoot in the wildest winter" are some of my favourites. I'm not a big fan of the sudden shift in tempo on either end of the bridge but Justin Vernon's falsetto makes up for it. The production is otherwise beautiful.

Note that the bonus tracks are currently at the bottom because they have not been released yet.

#taylor swift #evermore #reviews #music #ts

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