#tbh I think we just put too much pressure on labels in general

[meownotgood]

Oof yeah. Regarding that asexuality post. And the weird thing is you can't easily distinguish what feelings are your own, what is the societal norms engraved into you. And also it's so weird to be attracted to fictional characters but cringing at the thought of any irl experience. It's a very complicated emotionally place to be in. It sucks.

You don't know if it's "normal" to feel like that or if "sOmEtHinG is WrOnG".

Personally i think that something more liberating than even the asexuality label (or aromatic, or demisexual or whatever else is related) is just.. creating a label on your own?

Like.. you can totally choose bits and pieces. If you're this-one-person-irl-sexual that's amazing!

If you're that-fictional-man- sexual power to you!

If you're idk-maybe-?-sometimes-?-remains-to-be-seen-????????-sexual ey! That's great too!

(that's what i tell myself. I think carving out space for your own special experience can be very comforting and helpful!)

yes, you get it 😔 honestly I'm just at a time in my life where no label is all that fits me, but it's often frustrating to feel like I don't understand myself, or I can't fit in with anyone's communities... it can be difficult to accept that sometimes it's okay to just not know

[peachjagiya]

I think Jungkook being key also plays his role in head vs heart dillema. Tae is generally ignored by company until they want to label him as "other" as you mentioned. So he can tell them to f*** off easily, it's also in his nature. But when it comes to Jungkook he is the main vocalist, not only the company demands he listens to them but members too. I have noticed Jungkook sticking to company narrative (2016-2019 except some parts) like his life depends on it all because it's a 5:1 position tbh. He also didn't want to disappoint Army. I am not claiming members were against taekook or their closeness but they are now much more liberal in how they handle taekook which is understandable coz everyone has given their everything for this life so it makes sense for them to stick to company narrative. That's why I think the stricter duty to keep taekook separated lies more heavily on Jungkook than Tae. I personally observe this with how he tries to balance taekook with bh jkks narrative. if partly things are natural because of their bond, other part is careful and deliberate strategy. Sorry to those who think their idols can't lie and play it up for cameras.

I am just gonna be ticked off if company continues their jkk are in love narrative because

1. They aren't kids anymore.

2. Jmn and jungkook looks super cute when they act naturally and don't play up for the camera

3. It's gonna harm Tae more n more

4. Jungkook gonna always be in a tight position.

5. More fan wars.

6. It's sick.

This all feels spot on to me.

I do want to reiterate, and you've made this point here, I don't think it makes any of them bad people to adhere closer to what their company wants. We don't know their motivations or goals. It might really work for them in a way it doesn't work for Taehyung or maybe JK. And considering the livelihood afforded to them by the company, I wouldn't blame a single one of them for playing the game.

I don't want to come off critical of JK, I think I've made it clear I love the hell out of him, but I do think he gave the impression of running hot and cold with Tae in the middle. I always put down to interpersonal drama but I do wonder now if it was more push and pull and extreme pressure on him to play his part whilst also wanting to be authentic with Tae. Again he was 14 when he joined Bighit. It's a LOT to rally against the life of nearly your entire teens and whole adult life and I'm frankly staggered, and admiring, that he's managed to push back at all.

Sorry to those who think their idols can't lie and play it up for cameras.

Yeah. And again, it's not the mark of a bad person. PR/marketing strategies are in place to protect as much as promote. Imagine they just had free rein to say whatever about anything. It would be chaos. I don't think every thing they say is a lie, and broadly I think the stories have a significant grain of truth to them, but there's definitely omissions and slight bending of reality. That's just basic PR. Think about any celeb doing the promotional rounds on chat shows and press junkets. They'll have a couple of stories in the bag to pull out. It's not lies, it's just safe and easy.

And yes, I do think JKK is fanservice-y but possibly helped along by genuine friendship and Jimin's touchy feeliness.

I am just gonna be ticked off if company continues their jkk are in love narrative

Yeuuupppp. I just don't fancy seeing men in their 30s/late 20s pretending anything really. Especially not when I quite strongly believe one of them is going to be hurt by the narratives.

The "characters" they fit into are cute-ish when they're younger but I really just want to see them as real 3D people with genuine flaws and personalities. Because they all shine when they get to be themselves and behave genuinely.

I think it's heading that way? I hope it is.

Thanks anon! 💜

[stellocchia]

I think it's been more than two months since I pushed my "Wilbur is remembered far more competent than he is" agenda in your asks.

So let's rectify that, shall we?

Wilbur is pretty fucking incompetent. He's never been that amazing charismatic smooth talker we characterize him as (not that I'm not absolutely behind that too)

Like. Who did he ever successfully smoothtalk? The Lmanbergians? None of them were ever hesitant to join from the very beginning and Eret betrayed them pretty easily when Dream manipulated them.

Techno? Techno wanted to join them, he was the one who reached out to them. There was no convincing needed and Wilbur never convinces Techno of anything Techno wasn't already willing to do by himself.

Dream? Definitely not during the revolution and Dream's support during Pogtopia was Dream following his own agenda, not being influenced by Wilbur in any way.

He couldn't even get Quackity to let him into Las Nevadas.

Nah, the only person Wilbur ever smooth talked is TommyInnit. The fucking powerhouse of this cell. And even that's not completely true. Tommy hasn't been convinced by Wilbur of anything since the very beginning of the Lmanberg revolution. Not during Pogtopia. And not even now (it's not smooth talking if it's just exploiting mental exhaustion and trauma and all that. Tommy isn't convinced of what they're doing.)

Really. Not even Tommy, per se.

He just got Tommy extremely loyal and attached to him.

And honestly, that's all he needs.

You don't need to have influence over everyone, you just need to have strong influence over the right person.

And that's what Wilbur had and has.

Wilbur's accomplishments are just pretty much him having a vision and Tommy throwing himself at it to make it come true.

Wilbur had the idea for L'manberg but Tommy was the one leading the troops. Tommy was the one who negotiated for their independence and got it when Wilbur was negotiating their surrender. Tommy was the one who FOR NO REASON built the escape tunnel they escaped through when Dream blew up L'manberg and he was the one who built the lil panic room at the end. Tommy was the one who's home became the embassy to L'manberg (something Wilbur very much pressured and kinda manipulated him into btw. I'm never not gonna mention that lil detail when the embassy comes up)

Wilbur had the idea and stood around looking pretty. My guy literally stood around looking pretty, without armor, during battles. Just. I love him.

And let's not forget that Tommy was fckin great at being the general. The SMP was so much better equipped and still, L'manberg was kinda winning. To the extend that Dream saw the need for TnT (which was hidden) and the betrayal through Eret (which was hidden)

Dream felt the need to pull two deceitful moves to keep if not even gain the upper hand.

If I'm not mixing stuff up here, correct me if I'm wrong.

And stuff like the tunnel weren't even expected of Tommy. My boy just thought of that on his own and did it on his own. Noone knew it existed. Noone expected it to exist.

After independence Wilbur is implied to have been leading but he generally wasn't around too much. Tommy was keeping order in the more face to face kinda way. He tried to navigate people's personal conflicts and make sure things didn't escalate and just. He did so well.

And Pogtopia? Oh, Pogtopia.

It's a bit more difficult here, since they were no longer on exactly the same side and goals are more muddled but still.

(and I want to make it clear that I'm in no way trying to shame Wilbur for mental health issues or anything. This isn't about that. I'd never fucking even imply that)

Tommy kept morale high. He made sure that other people were fine, when there was a chance. He tried to reassure Wilbur when Wilbur was spiraling, he asked Tubbo if he was happier, he told Tubbo to be safe, he recruited Quackity when he saw the chance while making sure that Quackity's intentions were sincere enough (he didn't just naively offer Quackity a place in Pogtopia and risk it being a trap).

He avoided any kind of destruction to L'manberg as much as possible.

He rallied people.

Really, his one actual flaw was not "turning" on Wilbur. His unwillingness to give up on him or even just incapacitate him or limiting his ability to act as he wanted was what ended up costing him everything. His unwillingness to interfere with Wilburs plans beyond talking to him and threatening him with a crossbow that one time ended up making the 16th possible. And he can hardly be blamed for that.

And Wilbur, during Pogtopia... Well... Nobody liked him, he made everyone uncomfortable and most people just kinda tolerated him because... Yeah...

Without Tommy troop morale would have been abysmal thanks to Wilbur. He constantly put himself and his side down, labeling them as villains and thus morally inferior. He pitted his own people against each other, spread paranoia between his people. No communication or actually planning involving other people. Still refused to wear armor.

And don't get me wrong, that's the point. He wasn't on their side. Obviously Tommy added more to their victory, Wilbur didn't want their victory. But still I just wanna praise my boy Tommy, he was. So amazing. Boy fucking peaked.

He's so good in tactical warfare or whatever you call it.

And I wanna just make it clear that this isn't criticism of Wilbur. Not at all. This isn't criticism at all. This is just about the big fanon perception of Wilbur as this great and mature leader.

Tbh this is actually more about showing people how amazing Tommy was and PLEASE I WANT FICS TO HAVE TOMMY BE MORE OF AN EFFECTIVE POWERHOUSE

Regarding my former ask I just wanted to clarify again that I'm not trying to critique Wilbur or anything.

It's really just that I think it's hilarious how people remember him as way more put together and competent than he really was.

-

Yeah, honestly one of the biggest disservice people have done to c!Tommy in this fandom is fail to portray him as the badass general that he actually was. Like, sure, Wilbur's title was as "general", but he never did anything for it. He gave a few speeches, but then the work was left up to Tommy. Like, genuinely, rewatch the Eret betrayal vod, Wilbur says it openly that he's leaving it in Tommy's hands. And Tommy does manage to lead his troops into an advantageous position! They get their enemies to retire at one point during the very first battle!

Then, of course, there is the betrayal, but, once again, Tommy didn't give up. He built the tunnel for their scuffed escape beforehand and, when everyone was just about ready to give up, he went against Dream in a duel and then traded the discs for their independence without loosing a beat.

Tommy was a BIG asset during that war!

Wilbur mostly was and still is kind of a wreak. And it's not his fault, 'cause mental health is an absolute bitch and he wasn't doing too hot after the war, then it got worse with Pogtopia and even worse during the 13 years in Limbo. And now we are where we are now with Wilbur being... not a great individual.

But still! In Pogtopia Tommy was the de-facto leader. And yeah, that was because Wilbur wasn't on their side anymore, but they didn't entirely know that. Or didn't wanna see that.

Tommy himself was hoping that Wilbur would "come back around" if he managed to get back their country. That was a big motivator for him. And he did everything that was in his power to do to not lose either Wilbur or L'Manburg. He tried talking to Wilbur multiple times, tried persuading him that there was another way, he never bought into Wilbur's ideals, he recruited people and he lead the troops once again. It wasn't Techno that lead the troops (despite him being a much better fighter) it was Tommy. And once everything was exploded and Techno and Wilbur betrayed them? Well he kept encouraging people. Literally I'm begging everyone to watch that vod! Tommy was there at every step of the way, telling Niki that it wasn't over, telling Quackity to keep fighting and, after that, you know who was there to validate Tubbo's presidency? To rally people behind him? It wasn't Tubbo. Tommy gathered everyone by the L'Mantree and got their spirits high once again.

He is just genuinely amazing.

And, like, yeah now Wilbur managed to manipulate Tommy to an extent to be by his side. But that's not that much of an accomplishment anymore because Tommy has just been through so much that he's exhausted now, as you said. Like, remember when Tommy said he wanted to be on Wilbur's side because "he gets things done"? Well, I'm still waiting to see that one honestly...

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[antifaintl]

What kind of experience would you say is needed to be a street medic? Do you think a lifeguard qualification would suffice?

We’re not sure what kind of first aid is required for life guard certification so we can’t call it but we’d strongly recommend people take wilderness first aid courses, since they are designed to give you the skills you’ll need if an ambulance/hospital is not immediately accessible, which can happen if you’re in a bad street situation/political action.   We had a bunch of street medic tips on our previous blog before tumblr arbitrarily deleted it without reason or explanation (thanks tumblr!), but we’ve dug it up and here is what we said when asked last year: By Popular Demand - Street Medic Tips! OK, y’all asked for it so here are some tips we got from one of our street medic pals: 1) Well, first off, for buying supplies, always go with generics. they do the same damn thing and you get more of them for the cost. Buy tampons and pads alongside regular gauze bandages, they’re excellent for dealing w puncture wounds. carry duct tape and plastic bags. the plastic bags will help w sucking chest wounds, tape three sides to the skin to prevent the wound from sucking air in the wrong way. but you won’t encounter much of that. 2) Carry sunscreen, pref. in a spray bottle. in fact, combating fatigue and sunstroke should be a priority (this changes seasonally). I recommend looking up switchel and making a bit of that, and recommending each person take a little glug of it after they’ve come to see you for water a couple times. loss of electrolytes from sweat is no joke. switchell is just a mix of vinegar, lemon juice, honey, boiled and steeped ginger, water, and add a healthy pinch of iodized salt. Kept farmers alive so… 3) Keep your things in easy access containers. so, have bandages be in a fairly waterproof container that you can access, wound prep stuff in another, cleaners in another, etc. you don’t need to have everything in one case. Also, if you plan on doctoring, you’re sitting out any scraps for the day, tbh. Your effectiveness is reliant on not being arrested or being kept from helping people. so, depending on the situ, no face covering beyond surgical masks, making oneself visible, not clobbering fash..which believe me, it’s a pain in the ass to not be in the thick of it, but your job is to stabilize people enough that they can make it home/ to the hospital. 4) Take as many first aid classes as possible. absorb as much information from as many sources as possible. and make it clear you’re not a licensed professional so you don’t get sued for trying to help anyone (note that in some areas you provided medical assistance is protected by “good Samaritan” laws).  Especially useful are wilderness first aid classes, which train you about what to do in any situation where medical aid is not immediately accessible.   5) Look into those simple water bottle gasmasks for people your stabilizing in case of residual teargas on the wind. Those sorts of makeshift gasmasks/respirators aren’t going to do a lot to protect you in the thick of it, but it makes your job easier if the person isn’t inhaling an irritant. 6) Assess the situation. if the person can be moved, get them to somewhere sheltered and away from the action. preferably, you have people with you to facilitate this, then you can have a few ppl in a row that you’re working on, having volunteers applying pressure to wounds for the requisite 15 minutes or so. 7) Having a few people to help limp folks over to a central area is super useful in theory, then you can maximize effectiveness in helping folks. Superglue is also useful for closing seriously bad wounds, but only in dire circumstances. Stuff’s a bit toxic. Only use it if the person seems like they’re gonna die. Saline wound wash is great, btw. Get it in a spray bottle. Aloe vera gel is good for minor burns so you can smack it on and bolt. 8) If you absolutely positively HAVE to put a tourniquet on, make sure that the time (with AM or PM and date) is clearly labeled in sharpie in several places so when the poor sod gets handed off to a professional they know what’s up. don’t want them to lose an arm. MAKE SURE IT’S IN MULTIPLE PLACES, AND INCLUDE AM OR PM AND MAYBE EVEN THE DATE. Also, don’t try to cauterize wounds. it never works. as tempting as it is to carry rum for numbing, don’t. it’s just an easy arrest for the pigs.9) It’s honestly not too worth it to dispense actual medicines, but that’s mostly my opinion. the most you can get away with is aspirin and other over the counter pain meds. maybe some allergy stuff just in case. Speaking of, make sure you ask the person about any allergies a couple times as you get started, they’re likely in a bit of shock, and you need to be sure you don’t accidentally kill someone through some obscure allergy. Always use non latex, just to be safe. I know it’s a pain.10) Seriously though, can’t emphasize enough that besides the medical stuff, bandages, bandage scissors, cleaning stuff etc. Some of the most important essentials you can bring are duct tape, pads, tampons, water and sunscreen. Wear a hat. The sun can and will kill you dead. And on electrolytes again, sports drinks should be avoided. they suck donkey dick and don’t really work. They’ll just dry you out. switchel or similar stuff if you can make it. recipes pretty loose, so just go for it. 11) Please get trained/ certified in as much stuff as possible. try to get folks to help you out as well. Here’s an organization that does wilderness medical training in North America.  Obv. the more the better. every person carrying a bit of water. thirst is a shite indicator of need 4 water. Once your thirsty, omae wa mou shindeiru. Take a sip of room temp water every twenty mins or so. also, don’t drink cold water if you’ve been out bashing fash. you’ll puke because your body’s fucked up like that. SUNSCREEN! 12) If anyone wants to get free training to get started as a street medic, google search “stop the bleed.” Every major U.S. hospital has funding for this. Even if you can’t make it to trainings, THEY WILL COME TO YOU. Just get a group of friends, email the instructor and set up a time and location. After you take the course, you can register to teach it yourself! Spread the knowledge, spread the skill! 13) Two first aid manuals you might want to look at: -Wilderness & Rescue Medicine (Jeffrey E. Isaac, PA-C & David E. Johnson, MD; 2013, Jones & Bartlet Learning) -The Field Guide Of Wilderness & Rescue Medicine (Jim Morrissey, EMT-P, WEMT, with David Johnson, MD; 2017, Wilderness Medical Associates) (Spanish version here!) 14) Want to know more?  Google “street medic training.”  You might be surprised with what you come up with! 

[weasleyi-blog1]

Merlin’s beard, what is ( CHARLES ‘CHARLIE’ WEASLEY ) doing out at this hour? For a ( HALFBLOOD ) who is ( 24 ) years old, ( HE ) really ought to know better. You know, I hear that they’re aligned with ( THE ORDER ), but that could be just a rumor. I do know that ( HE ) is ( CIS MALE ) and a ( GRYFFINDOR ) alumni though. They’re very ( PERCEPTIVE ) and ( ADVENTUROUS ) but also quite ( FICKLE ) and ( PRIDEFUL ), which could be why they remind of ( A DEVILISH GRIN, RUNNING HEADFIRST INTO DANGER, BURNS THAT NEVER QUITE HEAL AND AN UNWAVERING LOVE FOR WHAT WAS MEANT TO KILL YOU. ). Some people say they’re the spitting image of ( MICHAEL B JORDAN / adopted ), but I’ve never heard of them.

BACK TO BASICS.

name: charles elliot weasley. occupation: dragonologist. nicknames: charlie.

+ practical, perceptive, adventurous, experimental. - fickle, prideful, impulsive, indecisive.

age: 24. date of birth: december 12, 1972. zodiac: Sagittarius. hometown: devon, england. current location: lives in a small apartment in london but travels to romania and sweden as well as other dragon sanctuary and bases frequently. gender: cis male. pronouns: he/him. orientation: very bisexual. spoken languages: english, romanian, bulgarian, french, german. moral alignment: neutral good. element: fire. house: gryffindor.

CHARACTER INSPO.

Hagrid ( imagine seeing a dragon and instinctively just wanting to take care of it, seeing the best in people, so warm, so soft ), Finnick Odair ( effortlessly charming, more than what meets the eye, so loyal, playing at a multitude of endgames all at once ),  Scott Lang ( cheeky jokes when you least expect them, man of honor, would definitively hack a corporation and give back to the wronged workers if the opportunity presented itself ), Steve Rogers ( strong instinct to protect, strong morals, brave, empathetic ), Newt Scamander ( never truly met a monster he couldn’t love, also he is 100% Charlie’s idol, a little bit awkward, would lay down his life to protect magical beings, can’t follow orders for shit  ).

BACKGROUND / CHILDHOOD.

Charlie was born to Olivia Selwyn ( nee Novak ) and Benjamin Selwyn on the 12th of December, 1972. Olivia was a muggle born and thus, despite his good name, Benjamin Selwyn was labelled as being sympathetic to the muggle cause. Things would only get worse, as both Benjamin and Olivia were quite vocal about their views, and their support for muggles and muggleborns alike. Benjamin was labelled a blood traitor, and cast out of the community he had grown up in. It was a common tale, at the time ---- Benjamin was certainly not alone in his fate, nor would he be the first or last to die for what he believed in.

Olivia worked as a librarian, and was a Ravenclaw down to the bone. Benjamin worked at the ministry, in the department next door to Arthur Weasley’s office. He was a Gryffindor.

So, Olivia and Benjamin had a son. He was a beautiful baby boy, angelic yet always energetic. They named him Charles, and wished for him to have courage, and be kind. For three months, they would get to cherish him, but reality would soon catch up to them. It came in the form of four death eaters, who entered the Selwyn home and murdered both Olivia and Benjamin in cold blood. The Selwyn son, however, they spared. Though halfblood, he was not yet completely ruined.

The Selwyns were close friends with the Weasleys, and upon their death, they decided to take in Charlie, and raise him as their own. Charlie was practically already part of the family - Benjamin Selwyn and Arthur Weasley had grown up together, been close friends for years. Arthur was already his godfather ---- so taking him in made sense.

So Charlie Selwyn became Charlie Weasley, and part of the family. He grew up at The Burrow, became just as much of a son as the rest of them. He wore the same knitted sweaters, smiled in family photos, followed his father to work ( with the same big, awe-struck eyes ) and played in their garden. Charlie was as much a Weasley as anyone else, and would not let anyone forget it.

He never knew his birth parents, and has no memories of them. 

The type of kid to constantly bring home animals and strays. Some were dangerous, other weren’t. Has probably taken home a fire crab on at least one occasion. His mom was probably not too happy about that one.

Loves all of his siblings !!!! So much !!!!! 

Sort of a gullible kid that never met a stranger. His mom had to keep a close eye on him because he would 10/10 wander off, always trusting that everything would be fine. Why wouldn’t it be?

Second oldest Weasley !!!!! Takes his older brother role semi-seriously. He’s the kind of brother that will 1000% take you into the Forbidden Forest if you ask and break curfew with you and sneak around with you but at the same time, always keep you safe, and set you straight if you’re being enough of a dumbass to warrant it.

HOGWARTS YEARS.

Hogwarts was generally a very good time for Charlie. He was immediately sorted into Gryffindor, which was... a relief, tbh. Bill was in Gryffindor, and the knowledge that he’d be in the same house as his brother was comforting. The Weasley boys would stick together. Through thick and thin.

As the second oldest, one might expect that Charlie felt a need to prove himself, show that he was just as good as his brother. Charlie felt little of that pressure. Instead, he was easy going and carefree, and mostly lived by the motto that what was going to happen, might as well happen. No point in worrying about it.

He was also not particularly worried about setting a good example for his brothers. Which could potentially have been disastrous, if it wasn’t for the fact that Charlie naturally gravitated towards doing good. He was an overachiever, enjoyed pleasing his mother and the teachers at the school. Charlie was the type of kid that usually did his homework on time, but even when he didn’t - he had built up enough of a trust with his professors, that they were more often than not lenient on him.

Still, Charlie shares some of that streak of mischief that some of his younger brothers have ( not naming any names here but we all know who they are .... ). He has been known to be impossible to keep away from the Forbidden Forest, in particular. Already in his first year, Charlie would sneak off, wander deep into the woods, and eventually get lost. That year, Charlie made friends with the centaurs. He also made friends ( with varying degrees of success ) with a vast abundance of magical creatures and animals in the forest, and his interest for wildlife grew.

Admittedly, he didn’t always know that it was dragons that would be his main interest. For a while, any magical creature would have done just as well, and Charlie was interested in following in Newt Scamander’s foot steps ( lbr Charlie is his biggest fan ), and do research, learn, and discover. He had always loved dragons, considered them gentle giants, but it was the rumors of the Gringotts dragon ( which he would also manage to have confirmed, eventually ) that swayed him into a path of working with only them, rather than magical beasts in general. Charlie is of the opinion that dragons should be treated humanely and with respect.

During his fifth year at the school, Charlie was made prefect, and it was a position that he excelled at, as well. He was the type of prefect to put kindness first, always spoke to the first years in a soft voice, made sure to explain everything carefully, rather than just order them around. 

By his sixth year, Charlie was made Quidditch Captain, too. 

By his seventh year, Charlie knew the Forbidden Forest like the back of his hand. He was also quite well acquainted with the Great Lake, and was in the habit of making up new spells to fix whatever problems he had at the time, however dangerous that could be.

His favorite class at the school should be easy enough to guess, and Charlie spent the most time preparing for his Care for Magical Creatures classes. During those hours, Charlie lit up, came alive.

AFTER HOGWARTS.

So Charlie graduated with top marks, and went on to study dragonology in Romania. Once the war started, he returned to England briefly, and joined the Order. Charlie has always had a strong sense of right and wrong, and was highly motivated to fight for his family. He is all too aware what danger they are in, what people think of them. Charlie would rather die than see something happen to his parents, the people who have done everything for him, taken him in. He also has very strong protective instincts of his brothers and sister. Joining the war was a no brainer, for Charlie.

But the best thing he could do for The Order, was to use his ties and connections that he had garnered during his years abroad. So he moved back and forth from England, traveled to different countries in Europe, gathered supporters of their cause, all the while also keeping a careful eye on the magical creatures population, being very aware of the kind of danger they were in, too. Charlie has come to understand that magical creatures often become casualties of the wars of wizards. He doesn’t like that, and he wants to protect them.

Charlie has an impressive amount of burn scars, which he has chosen to not have removed. Both because he genuinely thinks they look kinda cool and he’s proud of them, but also because they remind him the sort of respect he needs to have for the creatures in his care. Charlie is not an idiot ( in this instance ) and knows that a dragon would hardly hesitate to kill him on the spot, if given the right circumstances and opportunity.

Charlie currently lives in a small apartment in London, but he rarely stays there. He is always on the move ---- traveling to other countries, to wildlife reserves, to the ministry. 

He has admittedly become a little bit of a workaholic, but only because he loves his job so much? He feels the most alive when he’s out in the field, when he’s outside, when he’s surrounded by only nature and wildlife. 

PERSONALITY.

Charlie is so so warm, caring and kind. But he is also a little bit unreliable, and has been known to not always show up when he’s needed. He’s easily distracted, and if he gets drawn into work or Order business, he can disappear for weeks on end without any word from him.

Usually very optimistic and happy go lucky. Charlie was born in the middle of a war, and certainly has had his fair share of reasons to worry. Despite this, Charlie tends to take everything about as seriously as he needs to, which usually isn’t very seriously at all. Charlie has smiled death in the face enough time to not be wary of it, anymore. He is of the strong opinion that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen anyways. Him worrying will not affect the inevitable outcome.

Charlie is a little bit quiet, but not exactly shy either. He just doesn’t always find a reason to talk. Also it’s a bit of a habit. When working in the field, it’s usually too loud for them to hear each other anyways, so Charlie has just stopped trying. He also quite likes the silence, finds it comforting.

Bit of a romantic, tbh. Believes in ideals - like love at first sight, a happily ever after, soulmates. But never actually has time for love, either?

Has never met an obstacle that he didn’t want to climb and it’s a bit of a problem.... Although not particularly reckless, Charlie is known for not thinking twice about putting himself in danger.

Also probably a little bit arrogant, or to put it nicer, very confident. 

Has the sort of ‘wink at you before he disappears into the masses’ sort of aesthetic.

Very experimental too? Likes to experiment with spells and potions and experimental approaches on how to best deal with various situations that arise in his line of work. This has almost cost him both an arm and a leg at some point...

VERY proud of who he is and what he comes from. Though he shrugs off most things, he WILL throw hands at anyone who dares insult his siblings or his parents.

Has never backed down from a fight, ever !!!!! 

OTHER STUFF.

Charlie knows that he is adopted, but he rarely thinks of it, these days. It was more of an issue during his Hogwarts days, when other kids would prod and pry. Because of that, Charlie fully embraced his Weasley-ness, swore to himself that he’d be the biggest blood traitor the world had ever seen. He loves his family, what they stand for, everything that they are. Charlie is proud to wear sweaters knitted by his mother ( he still does, catch him wearing a Christmas sweater in July ) and tries to be the best son he can be. As much as he can, anyways.

Thinks that he owes a lot to Hogwarts, and has on a few occasions guest lectured there about dragons.

Shares part of his father’s fascination with muggles and muggle objects !!! Especially motorcycles and telephones are of Great Interest to Charlie. He thinks muggles to be a bit peculiar, but interesting.

Still plays Quidditch on occasion, but not with a specific team. It’s usually just a game with the lads after a long day’s work in the conservatory. 

[margridarnauds]

LGBT asks: 2, 24, 25, 30 (Also, I like this new theme, I can read it much more easily!)

Ah, thank you! My unfortunate, TEMPORARY new username aside, I’m glad it’s much more legible, since it was really bothering me as well. 

2. How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

It’s odd because it really IS one of those things that always been lurking in the background. Like, I very distinctly remember, when I was about 7, telling my highly conservative babysitter while we were driving someplace, “I don’t like boys. I wish I didn’t have to marry one. I wish I could marry a girl instead.” And her daughter mentioned something like “Sometimes people do” and, in hindsight, I remember a bit of a hush around it. Now, I kind of wonder how she did know, what she’d been taught about it. Because I KNOW that household was not a gay friendly environment. (I mean, they banned Harry Potter for endorsing witchcraft. And Wizards of Waverly Place.)

When I was in Middle School, the environment changed. People KNEW that you could be gay, but it was an insult. I used it as an insult and I had it used as an insult against me. I’m not PROUD of that, it’s something I feel more than a little sense of shame over, but it really was the culture of growing up in a small, conservative town in the Midwest where there’s such a HUGE pressure to conform. During that time, I really wasn’t sure where I stood, because on one hand, I wanted to fit in (at least with THAT, with everything else, I chose to stand out as much as I could because, well, why not? They’d hate me anyway.) I do remember some girls pestering me about “What are you?” and saying “I’m heterosexual” just to get them off my back (and because I got the delicious joy of watching them try to spell it.) To be honest, even when I said that, I wasn’t SURE, because it didn’t feel 100% right, but, well, it was a RESPONSE, and that’s what they needed. 

After 7th grade, I had to move out of state, because the bullying had just gotten that intense (technically speaking, the move wasn’t JUST for that reason, but my family had already decided that they would scrounge up the money to send me to private school if needed, which means there’s a parallel universe where I had to figure out I’m queer in CATHOLIC SCHOOL). And I was homeschooled for years afterwards. I was just. Too traumatized to deal with other kids, after that. To this day, I still feel a certain amount of anxiety around teenage girls. Since my social interaction really was limited to a certain extent, I don’t think I REALLY had a lot of the formative interactions that a lot of queer people have to come into their own. 

It was funny because sometime around when I was 14-15, my mom RUSHED into my room and was like “RACHELIWASGOINGTHROUGHYOUREMAILSANDJUSTKNOWTHATI’LLLOVEYOUNOMATTERWHAT” and I was just like “Mom...I still haven’t decided yet..let me sleep...” Turns out, she had, WITH MY PERMISSION, been looking through my emails for something I needed, saw that I was on GLSEN’s mailing list after participating in one of their anti-bullying campaigns (because I’ve ALWAYS been a firm advocate against bullying after what I endured), and jumped to the wrong-right conclusion, depending on how you look at it. And that was my Dramatic Coming Out-Not Coming Out. 

I experimented with labels; for AGES I ID’d as a member of the ace community and to this day I would still ride or die for them because they were SO helpful as far as stressing “You can change your mind as time goes on/There’s nothing wrong with you/etc.” To this day, tbh, I’m not sure whether I fall on the asexual spectrum. In no small part because I’ve never. Actually. Dated anyone. Or kissed. Or held hands with. I had a former best friend who was interested, but there were MULTIPLE issues with that one, so. No. Which does kind of put a damper on the old ego, but oh well. 

Around when I was around 18-19, I think it FINALLY clicked in for me that, actually, I just had no idea what sexual attraction WAS but that I definitely felt SOMETHING on occasion, and that’s when it really clicked. Watching Takarazuka shows since then’s actually been hugely helpful as far as figuring things out (look, it’s stereotypical, especially for the western fandom, but it’s true. And it’s not just the more openly suggestive scenes, but just....seeing EVERY role being played by a woman really does help open your mind as far as the possibilities.) It was around this time that I actually started developing CRUSHES which...hurt. A lot. Like, I used to make fun of all my friends who were going completely bananas in Middle School and then it came back to bite me HARD. I’ve never gone for a straight girl, thankfully, but just people who, for a variety of reasons, are utterly unattainable and who USUALLY end up in ridiculously happy relationships shortly after I realize I have a crush. 

24. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

It’s odd because on one hand I don’t REALLY identify with womanhood PER SE. I like dresses, I like looking at them, particularly in a historical context, I like certain ASPECTS of femininity, but I’m not particularly interested in performing them. I’m not interested in putting on makeup or shaving every single section of my body. Growing up, I DREADED developing boobs, because I did ! Not ! Want ! Them ! (I can definitely appreciate them on someone else, but NOT ME.) The constant radfem THING they do where they plaster vaginas all over the place just kind of creeps me out, tbh. I’m not interested in IDing as a man, either, and most pronouns don’t really fit me any more (or even less) than she/her does. I’m just....ME, you know? I don’t want to be defined by one of my LEAST. FAVORITE. PARTS. OF. MY. BODY. If I was going to actually apply a label to it, I would probably say that I lean towards agender, but at the same time, I don’t really....feel like it’s NECESSARY, in a sense? So, I stick with “Woman/she/her” for simplicity’s sake. 

25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I’m not interested in childbirth. That is a no-go. There is no way that I am EVER going through that process, given that I was born to my mom very late in life, I very nearly died in the process, and I grew up seeing the scars. I know that not ALL childbirth’s like that, but I won’t put myself through that. The entire thought is a little nauseating, tbh. If my partner was interested in it, then I could spring for it, because I’m actually pretty good when it comes to HANDLING kids, though I would be terrified to accidentally traumatize them. My family doesn’t necessarily have the best track record when it comes to abuse and I can’t imagine accidentally hurting a tiny person, or being involved with someone who would hurt the tiny person. 

30. Why are you proud to be lgbt+?

It’s a part of me, and it’s one that was heavily stigmatized in the past. I’m always VERY conscious of how relatively lucky I am to exist in the cultural context I exist in, because even though I push back HARD against the idea that LGBT+ people COULDN”T be happy pre-20th century, it was still...difficult given that the terminology wasn’t generally there, at least in Europe, and there was such a heavy stigma against women who didn’t produce childbirth via a “legitimate” marriage. It’s been a difficult road in some ways and an easier one in others, but it’s really fantastic to live in an age where there IS a community and you know that there are others LIKE you. 

[leoncillo]

Okay, so idk if this is gonna turn into a theory or not I just need to...process things.

Why was Steven able to access Pink's memories?

When I think of the similarities between Steven's other emotional/spiritual reactions to gems, they all had one thing in common: the gems were feeling deep rooted negative emotion. When Lapis was still trapped under the sea with Jasper and fighting with herself and her purpose in the chaos, Steven found her through dreaming. When Steven started crying Blue's tears, Blue was shown to still be mourning. Then, in Jungle Moon, we see that was the exact planet and area Pink Diamond had her breakdown. Surprisingly..well not really, Steven has been able to soothe or eventually get the gems out of their moods. Lapis was freed, Blue finally got her trial, but what about Pink? Steven even helped the Cluster calm down!

Pink Diamond is defective.

She's significantly smaller than the other diamonds. While I was disappointed that she didn't look like what most of the fandom pictured, her characterization makes sense. As the youngest myself, I know what it's like to not feel equal to a sibling. People always say "Oh, someday it'll happen." "You're not ready yet." Yeah she's a brat, but she has reason to be. Gems are born with a purpose. All gems even diamonds. So imagine when you're supposed to be one of the most powerful beings known to your kind and you're born, in the eyes of others, as being less than so. Pink Diamond was supposed to have what they had because that's what she was born for, she knew this, and Homeworld never liked to deviate from roles you were supposed to be. Yet, they did so to her. Her mural making her look a lot stronger and mightier than she was was more than likely for propaganda purposes. So lesser gems didn't know a diamond could be born defective. That a diamond could be imperfect.

Pink and her gems obviously represent the "heart" of the gem civilization.

Gems created under Pink Diamond are fiery, strong, stubborn, and will fight for what they believe in. Noticeably more free...whether they used that freedom for good or bad varied. Think of the quartz soldiers at the Zoo, they acted more like a family than a military unit. Rose and all of her dates with Greg and making Steven, the flowers, strawberry fields, etc. Whereas gems created under the other diamonds seemed to be more accepting that they were just numbers to their diamonds. They were weak willed and did what they were told. Pink Diamond had power. Not through sheer force or size, but her heart. If Jasper, the most famous war hero known to gemkind on Homeworld (?), is any indication, then Pink Diamond's army was a real threat. Not just to organic life on potential colonies, but to the other armies of her sisters.

Do I think one of the diamonds killed her?

Not necessarily. I wouldn't put it past them to have had plans to take her down a notch. They definitely knew what power her gems held since Yellow took Jasper for herself and all the other Rose Quartz were bubbled as a precaution. I don't think they wanted to kill her, though.

Could she have shattered herself?

This theory is what's currently winning in my mind right now. For one, Pink shattered an image of herself in a window. When does the Crewniverse ever do something like that without meaning? Never. Although, the mere fact that her image shattered could've been just general foreshadowing to her downfall, but considering PD did it herself, I'm going with it being herself as the culprit. Also, only a diamond can damage a diamond. So if none of her sisters did, then she's the only other option. How the whole scenario could've went down for their to have been "witnesses" to see her get shattered with a sword, I don't know. Tbh, it doesn't add up at all at this point. So either someone is lying or forgot some very important details.

Why would Pink Diamond want to die?

We've all been there before. We've all idolized something or someone based simply on what we saw on the outside. Only for it to turn out to be a horrible job, title, etc. Take adulthood, for example. When you were a kid, you probably wanted to grow up really quickly. You wanted to get to stay out late, shave, date, drive, what have you. You never considered what else comes with growing up. Tons of emotion and heartbreak, bills, losses, TAXES (jk but not), money to pay for gas to drive that car. I could go on. While I wasn't exactly a perfectly happy child, adulthood still hit me like truck...especially when I tried to enter it too quickly.

Pink was the baby sister. She didn't have a single colony, planet, army,...pearl?... anything. Honestly, did any of the other lesser gems even see her outside of murals until she got a court and entourage? Probably not. So what you have here are all the things to entice someone to want to grow up too quickly. Not treat them as an equal (sometimes you can't in human standards with age, but in gem standards your role was supposed to be absolute), isolate them, and tell them "someday" and "because I said so".

So one or all of the other sisters probably relented and got her a tiny little planet to look after. For all we know, she probably got some fancy limb enhancers to make her a little taller like she's putting on her sister's heels. She got a palaquin and apparently a pearl and entourage. Although something still seems off about that...Did they even give her guards? They should've and you would think they would've, but did they?

Anyway, after a few centuries/millennia on Earth, Pink probably became disenchanted with the whole idea of being a diamond and ruler. She didn't think it'd be that much work or she just wasn't agreeing with Homeworld's mentality. Something happened. Maybe she came to love the planet and the organic life, love her gems as more than just servants (who we've yet to hear say anything bad about her and Big Bad Jasper seemed genuinely distraught just thinking of her). Maybe she didn't want her gems caught up in Homeworld crap and thought they deserved better and deserved to be whatever they wanted to be. However, her colony was creating the best soldiers, you think her sisters would just let her stop?

So maybe Pink decided to secretly fight back and became close with Rose who shared her same views of the world. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Rose was already labeled a criminal before Pink was shattered. Maybe she sent Rose to "rebel" and disrupt gem activity on Earth to not only stop Homeworld from draining Earth but to take a stand. This could've backfired in her face when her sisters truly believed she didn't have a grip on the situation and sent their soldiers to correct the issue.

Pink seeing she effed up and just put her gems and world in danger, probably freaked out. There was probably bickering amongst them Y: "This is why we didn't give you a colony!" B: "You weren't ready!" P: "I don't want to do this anymore! It's wrong!" Her sisters probably wanted to wipe Earth off the map or at least start over with someone else at the helm, but Pink wouldn't risk it. She loved her first and only colony. It was small, but it was hers. She found her OWN place and purpose.

Idk what events would lead up to her shattering herself (and I'm pretty sure her shards are bubbled somewhere ready to be healed). But maybe she did set up a clever scheme to make it look like one of her own did it. The sisters would hesitate if gems from Earth could take out one of their own and back off. Or maybe it wasn't a scheme and she was found on the verge of doing it herself and the gem that found her couldn't stop her in time. She wanted the responsibility not knowing what all it entailed, what all she would feel, the pressure (did I just make a gem joke?), what all she would wanna fight for. She just wanted to be important like them for so long and when she finally found herself but wasn't accepted for it...she couldn't take it anymore.

[goodnightmoonvale]

92 truths tag

RULES: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

Tagged by @radio-charlie . . . sort of

LAST:

drink: water

phone call: idk, I don't answer my phone

text message: to my husband to tell him I was on the way home from work

song you listened to:  There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At The Disco

time you cried: Tuesday at my therapy appointment

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated someone twice: no

been cheated on: probably. Given that I didn't realize what was probably happening until we were already broken up, I'll likely never know for sure

lost someone special: no one I love has died yet. I'm worried I'm not going to deal with it well when it finally does happen

been depressed: oh yeah

been drunk and thrown up: nope! I've never even been drunk, lmao

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

made a new friend: yes? I hope some of my Discord peeps would count me as a friend . . . 

fallen out of love: nope

laughed until you cried: I honestly don't remember. Probably. I get giggly when I'm tired and I've been tired a lot this past year

met someone who changed you: yeah, I mean every friend you make changes you a little, right?

found out who your true friends are: I honestly don't really label someone as a friend unless I am pretty sure I can call them a true friend for the most part

found out someone was talking about you : no, I am usually completely clueless if people are talking about me

GENERAL:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Uh, well, there is exactly 1 person I follow on Tumblr who I went to high school with, but she doesn't know it's me (it's not weird; she's a semi-popular comic strip artist and lots of people follow her) Otherwise I keep my Tumblr pretty separate from my real life

do you have any pets?: nope, our apartment doesn't allow them and also my husband doesn't really like animals 

do you want to change your name?: Naw, my name is fine

what time did you wake up this morning: 6:30am

what were you doing last night: eating, putting the kids to bed, working on more work stuff, doing the dishes, staying up late for no reason

name something you cannot wait for: spring, I'm getting pretty sick of this Seasonal Affective Disorder shit, yo

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Yep, one of my friends in highschool was named Tom. He was very tall and big and had a loud voice and played Gaston in Beauty and the Beast (but was actually one of the nicest guys I knew)

what’s getting on your nerves right now: my back/neck has been tense for like 3 days and it keeps giving me a headache

blood type: uh forgot, A+ maybe?

nickname: "Orenijūsu" by my dad when I was a kid, "Spiderman", "La Reine", and "Butterfingers", all by a particularly nickname-prone supervisor in college, "Moon" and "Moonie" by my Discord peeps. I don't have an actual nickname that someone calls me on a regular basis anymore (tbh my real name is fairly hard to nickname especially since I got married and changed my last name)

relationship status: married

zodiac sign: Scorpio

pronouns: she/her, they/them

favorite show: Mythbusters

college: Brigham Young University, aka BYU

hair color: brown and hot pink atm. Need to bleach the rest of it and dye it purple again.

do you have a crush on someone: nope

what do you like about yourself: my singing voice. 

FIRSTS:

first surgery: wisdom teeth (yeah, they put me all the way out because they had to chip my wisdom teeth out in little tiny pieces)

first piercing: the normal earlobes ones

first sport you joined: softball

first vacation: uh . . . I think we went to Disneyworld when I was 3 and don't remember; idk if that counts as a first vacation or not though

first pair of sneakers: literally no idea

RIGHT NOW:

eating: shredded wheat

drinking: the milk out of the bowl

i’m about to: take a shower and go to work

listening to: Effington by Ben Folds

want kids: yep! Got me some :) I'll probably have another one in a few years

get married: already am :)

career: marketing

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: both are good ;)

hugs or kisses: hugs! You can get them from more people

shorter or taller: idk, I'm fairly short so not many guys are shorter than me 

older or younger: around my age? Not too much younger for sure, a couple years younger and everyone starts seeming like a baby. But I feel like dating someone too much older would be weird

romantic or spontaneous: are those opposites?

sensitive or loud: sensitive. Loud people make me nervous bc my family is fairly quiet

hookup or relationship : relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. I'm kind of terrified of getting in trouble, I don't want the person I'm with to rachet up my anxiety

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: mmmmm, nope

drank hard liquor: nope

lost contacts/glasses: no, don't wear 'em

sex on first date: nope

broken someone’s heart: unfortunately. I was just out of a serious relationship and not looking for anything too serious and he sprung "I love you" on me like 3 days after we kissed for the first time. In retrospect it was probably good I got out but I did it in the most dickish way possible, so that's still one of those things that I think about at 3am when my brain is showing me a movie of all the awful and awkward things I've ever done in my life

been arrested: nope

turned someone down: see above

fallen for a friend: yes - was friends with my husband for a couple years before I realized I liked him

DO YOU BELIEVE:

in yourself: depends on what I'm doing, I suppose

miracles: theoretically yes. have I seen any in my own life? Not sure

love at first sight: attraction, yes, love, no

I don't think I have 25 individual people to tag in this so if you read this consider yourself tagged (seriously I would love reading your responses if you want to do this but I hate pressuring ppl into stuff and this is super long so only do it if you want to. But tag me if you do so I see it!)

[thatlittledandere]

ask thingy: han jumin and zen?

I was just thinking “how amazing would it be if someone asked for Zen” you read my mind Miu thank you :’D

JUMIN

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with: Zen, Jumin’s flirts and teasing are hilarious and I like to think he could have a low-key crush on Zen outside his own route.

friendship them with: V!! I love how important they are to each other, despite V hiding things even from his dearest friend and that I’m slightly bothered by the fact that even Jumin calls V by his artist name even though they’ve known since they were like seven so he must have gotten pretty used to Jihyun;;

general opinions: He’s got the best oneliners. AND THE FFUCJING WALLSLAM ON HIS ROUTE I’M ASSDSFG Jumin is a very passionate person once he comes to care about something or someone. His main problem is his complete lack of empathy but I can’t really hold it against him because I’m convinced he’s somewhere on the autistic spectrum and you can pry this off my cold dead hands

ZEN

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with: Unsurprisingly Jumin. Zen is just... WAY too straight to be straight you know? If Zen learned to separate Jumin from his brother issues and allowed himself to not be hostile he could come to like Jumin. He has already showed he does care on some level, just doesn’t want to admit it.

friendship them with: Honestly Zen and Yoosung are my Mystic Messenger brotp! Zen complains about Yoosung’s gaming and some other things;; and Yoosung gets easily annoyed by Zen’s bragging but still, Zen is kinda protective of Yoosung and when things were getting scary Yoosung went to Zen’s place to feel safer and I have other points but of course I can’t remember any right now, anyway overall I just love love LOVE the concept of those two being best bros!!

general opinions: Zen has THE BEST LAUGH I’VE EVER HEARD ANYWHERE it often makes me giggle out loud and he’s an absolute SWEETIE on his route but um;; still my least favorite. I don’t dislike him, but can’t help thinking the script puts him on a pedestal too much. a fancy way to say “he’s overrated” Like, we’re clearly SUPPOSED to think he’s The Good-Looking Character, and I’m pretty sure you can get anyone’s bad ending by flirting with/going after Zen, he’s always there as a side hoe option, as if Cheritz expects Zen to be this Perfect Man everyone wants no doubt. And it gets tiring, no matter how good of a person Zen is. I just don’t find him all that interesting when I’m not playing his route;;

I do have a lot of thoughts about Zen though, I’ve been thinking about him a great deal ever since starting the game and I honestly think his writing is brilliant. For example, Zen is very confident in his looks to the point of being labelled as a narcissist but he really isn’t - Self-absorbed, yes, but not narcissistic, assuming I’ve understood what that word means even relatively correctly;; But when it comes to anything but his outward appearance Zen is actually kind of humble; he constantly challenges Jaehee’s convictions about how wonderful and destined to succeed he is and doubts his abilities and worth despite working his ass off and clearly being widely recognized for his acting. He’s also considerate; we make jokes about how frantic he is about The Beast but I trust we all know he just wants to do his absolute everything to not hurt his loved one/s ever or pressure them into anything.

I also think it’s very interesting how one of Zen’s biggest fears is being seen as pathetic or not capable. He says that several times on his route: “I hope you don’t think I’m pathetic”, “God I’m being so pathetic”, “I’m sorry for being this pathetic” etc. He just has this very deep need to get by and manage by himself and being independent. 

And you can find some interesting things about the characters by observing their bad ends and especially the steps you need to take to get those endings but not everyone wants to hear about the bad ends so I’m not going to that now other than saying that I still feel deep guilt over Zen’s first bad end and the fact I genuinely didn’t understand why it was bad until it was explained to me;; like @ me you dumbass it wasn’t a bad end for you but for Zen who deserves so much better than your selfish ass;;;

This is already getting too log but tbh I’ve given Zen bizarrely much thought;;; Like. He’s fascinating to no end to me as a character while simultaneously I don’t have any interest in him...? It’s strange.

tl;dr: Honestly I just want all of you to know Zen isn’t actually narcissistic that’s the most important part of this ramble ngL

[jacquclyn-blog]

hi my guys ! name’s honey, i’m 19 and i’m actively doing everything in my power to keep from going back to campus to get my books because that means classes are about to start and...yep, no thanx. anyways, i’ve been eyeing this bad boy and when i saw lizzie the loml got reopened i’d figure hell yeah, let’s do this thing, so here i am and honestly just accept that you’re never getting rid of me. beneath the cut is more on jackie, ofc, so feel free to hmu or just like this and i’ll come to you !! #buyrainbowonitunes

——— woah! wait, was that ELIZABETH OLSEN i just saw walking down mainstreet? no, of course not. that was just JACQUELYN VANCE. they’re TWENTY-SEVEN years old and identify as CISFEMALE. they have been in Alder Heights for TEN YEARS and work as a MAGAZINE EDITOR. i’ve heard they can be OBSTINATE and PEDANTIC on their bad days. but don’t be put off, because JACKIE can also be FERVENT and DISCERNING. no wonder people around here call them the AMARANTH.

born in los angeles, california, jackie grew up very comfortably; both parents are lawyers and during the clinton administration, jackie’s father served as the us ambassador of france. she was nine when they first moved, and was seventeen when her father’s run overseas was finished, and being back home was an interesting transition for her, since she felt like the odd man out considering she’d fallen in love with the french way of life, i guess? she didn’t really want to leave when the time came, but it wasn’t entirely up to her (her least favorite president is w. bush, 3 guesses why lmao) 

instead of going back to la, they moved to alder heights, since her father wanted to continue pursuing a career in government/politics, and it was much closer to dc than la was. her two younger sisters adjusted to life back home a lot easier than jackie did; she wound up completing the last little bit of high school online, since she’d had an accelerated course schedule overseas (she loved school) and would’ve rather been eaten by wolves than go back to public school tbh. she started classes at georgetown uni (rich parents lmao) at seventeen and for awhile, her major was in political science since she had every intention to follow in her father’s footsteps, he was her hero after all

and then somewhere along the line, she realized she didn’t really like political science, she liked having an opinion on and discussing politics, so she moved over into mass communications and her parents weren’t thrilled at all, they totally thought they were going to have a vance legacy and be able to start some family dream team thing and being the oldest, they expected her to be the one to fulfill this, and it definitely started a few fights but they eventually shut up about it just because arguing with her is arguing w a brick wall tbh — they are still slowly coming around, they’re not crazy about it but they still support her, things are Tense, fun times

so she graduated, went on and got her masters, blah blah, fast forward to where jackie finds the job of her dreams at an unnamed, v popular magazine (it’s unnamed bc i want it to be lmao, givE ME TIME but if you need a comparison, think cosmo) and she chased after it hard, like all she wanted to do was be a writer and after spending roughly two years as an assistant, she got promoted to a writer and she loved it, absolutely loved it. got to write about the things she was passionate about, loved the people she worked with, she was living the Dream 

and after a few years of just really, really enjoying her job her higher-ups were like “hey, we’re gonna promote you if you want” and in jackie’s mind she was like, hell yeah, more responsibility, more control, all the things she loves tbh and she took the job as the lifestyle department editor since it was broad and encompassed a lot of the stuff she’d enjoyed writing for and of course, Loved it...to a point

jackie is married to her job, and it’s highkey unhealthy tbh, she’s very very hard on herself and now that she’s moved up in the hierarchy of things she’s beginning to see what they ask of their employees and it’s not always stuff she agrees with? it’s a lot of pressure and she’s beginning to fall out of love with all of it in general, the writing, being responsible for stuff, etc and part of her is like fuck this, i’m over it but at the same time, she’s forcing herself to stick w it because she wants to prove to her parents she can too see their successes in the career path she chose

basically, she’s currently conflicted as hell when it comes to work and is currently a don’t ask, don’t tell type of situation

has begun doing freelance writing on the side?? she doesn’t post or share any of it since most of it is just her rambling and she’s not got that much time to dedicate to it as it is but it’s kinda keeping her sane in the moment and reminding her as to why she loves what she does

her label is the amaranth, one of my faves, which p much means that they’re hard to forget and leave an impression and that’s certainly jackie lmao, she’s got a very strong personality that makes it hard for you to confuse her w anyone else

y’all see the traits up there in that app....that’s Her. she’s the kinda person you want in your corner, not the person you want opposing you bc she will end you and show no mercy

is a sagittarius 

can sometimes let her emotions get the better of her??? she’s stubborn and gets conflicted very easily and that basically just leads to disaster, she’s great at making problems in her life that aren’t a big deal a Big Deal and what she wants, she’ll get it even if she’s got to step on toes or scream really, really loudly for someone to hear her; her parents taught her to never settle and settle she does not

also bilingual, speaks fluent english and french. usually only slips into french when she’s pissed so...beware

connections i’d love to see for jackie (but aren’t limited to, i just know it’ll be a hot second before i get a page up and running!):

best friend  —  self explanatory, obviously, but just give me someone who jackie can sit on the couch and drink wine with in her pajamas, someone who’s got her back if they go out to a bar, her go-to if she’s ever got a company thing and she needs a date last minute, someone who’s gonna butt heads with her when there’s a conflict in either of their lives but they still love one another no matter what *cue true friend by hannah montana in the distance*

sibling like relationship  —  another self explanatory one but jackie’s got a mad mom side to her, she’s v protective of the people she loves so give me someone that might as well be a long lost vance, they do dumb shit together, have each other’s backs, try (and fail) at matchmaking for the other, having a toothbrush with their name on it at their apartment, the works

summer flings!!!!! someone jackie met while she was on vacation or even off on a business thing and they like hooked up and she never in a million years would’ve expected to bump into them back in alder heights......except, she did

tbh just give me a friends-esque group of people for jackie where they all hang out and eat and act like their lives aren’t constantly falling apart, that’d be N*ce too

exesssss!!! the good, the bad, the inescapable, the ones with lingering feelings, the ones that swear they’re over but have a problem every time the other even looks like they’re about to go on a date w someone else, this is free range

college friend   —  basically someone that she met back when she was in college and was the first bit of american companionship that she’d had since she was like, nine?? like i said, she started classes at seventeen, and hadn’t really interacted with anyone since she did online schooling for her senior year; this could’ve been a roommate, someone she had a class with, someone that she met on campus and got coffee with, we can talk this one out obviously but you get the gist!

angst  —  idk what, idk how, i just live for it and i want it thanks

someone who lives near jackie and whether it’s really weird stuff like coming over to ask for some milk to put in their coffee since they’re out and forgot to buy some or they like hang out and have dinner together a few nights a week, switching off and stuff, i think this could be Fun

family friend  —  jackie’s parents are both lawyers and her dad’s been involved in politics for awhile so i can imagine jackie’s gone to her fair share of parties and whatnot, meeting clients and coworkers and all kinds of people so this would ideally be someone she met because their parents were acquaintances/friends; they could’ve met as kids, stayed in touch while jackie was overseas and resumed their friendship years later when the both of them found themselves back in dc, they could’ve met on the more recent end of things, they could totally understand the other’s pain and get along gr8 because someone finally gets it, they could lowkey hate each other bc their parents are rivals/ they’re trying to work through it...the possibilities are endless

and while i’m on the topic of past connections: jackie occasionally had to come back to the us and visit dc while her dad was serving as ambassador (aged 9-17) so if you’re interested, we can totally work something with that

a plot where they’re acquaintances at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing w one another for whatever fucking reason, they both probably annoy each other but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on?? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

[hipdeathgods]

10-20? 😎😎😎

Oh god sorry this took forever to answer but ive been busy the past few days and answering on my phone is way too difficult, but now that I finally have time to access my laptop...I’m also not entirely sure which ask thing this was supposed to go with but I think you meant the pride month one right? 

Thanks for the ask!

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?  : Well, I’m not totally sure what this means like “supportive idols” but Gaga is my idol and shes supportive so?

tell us about your first crush? : Oh gosh, I had my first crush when I was in elementary school, and I didnt even register it as a crush until maybe seven years ago or so. She was my best friend at the time before she moved away, and she was my first kiss when I was like seven I think, but yet for some reason I didnt understand I was feeling romantic attraction toward her. We have each other on facebook, but we dont really talk. 

what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? ; Advice, advice, advice...hmm... I guess maybe its not about labels. I know up until last year I had been super hung up on trying to define and label my sexuality, and it just felt impossible. Eventually I just gave up and having a label didnt matter to me as much anymore. So I guess my advice would just be to relax a little bit and try not to focus so much on putting yourself in a specific category. Its okay to not know, its okay to experiment, its okay to never know for sure, and its okay to know 100%, just try not to stress over it because its just not that important really.

have you come out to friends and family? ; I’ve come out to friends, and a cousin. I tried to come out to my family a few years ago and basically they told me “youre too young to decide” (I was 15 and also...decide????) Also I can tell my mom seriously wants me to be straight. At this point I dont know if I’ll ever come out to them. It really isnt any of their business who I do or dont fuck, and they arent entitled to know.  

how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? ; I dont have a problem with it. I could see how its fucked up and sort of perpetuates hetero as the default. But tbh I just dont really give a shit it doesnt bother me. 

do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? ; I believe there shouldnt be, but realistically in our current society there is. 

any tips on coming out? ; You dont have to do it ever if you dont want to. Dont ever let anyone force you out of the closet, or pressure you to come out. If you do decide to come out though, I reccomend not doing it over social media because people get all butthurt because you didnt “tell them first” and then it just ends up causing more problems. I know its easier to do it all at once like that, but its just not a good idea. 

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? ; Maybe the lack of it, or the refusal to say the words bisexual or pansexual when a character is bi or pan. Or that lesbians always die, or that its always two fems. 

what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? Im not sure that I have one, Im generally just happy theres representation at all, and dont tend to get caught up in the details. 

what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? They didnt. None of my teachers acknowledged sexuality.  

do you practice safe sex with the same gender? I’ve never had sex with any gender, but if I did have sex with anyone I would make sure we both are std free, and take any precautions to prevent pregnancy. 

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

@lafitte said: I have no idea what the majority opinion is on 12x16, but apart from the absence of Cas, I really liked it, I guess. What about you? Broad opinion of the episode? It’s still blurry where the writers want to go with the BMoL arc. Seems to me that instead of showing them as a….. team? They are exploring Ketch’s and Mick’s characters separately. We still don’t have much on their “higher ups”. Where do you think they’re going with the BMoL? Also. No Mary. No phone calls to her either. Is she hunting? Alone? I think this was the first ep that did not feature Mary in any way (I may be wrong)… I think I once sent you an ask about Claire-Dean and Alex-Sam parallels. And this ep made me so happy about that omg :’) Claire hunting alone, but she used to hunt with Jody, like Dean used to hunt alone for a while; and was it just me or did anyone notice how her car was like a personal space? And the end scene except instead of Baby driving out in a scenic location it was Claire’s car. Gave me truly Next Age Hunter vibes. As for the Jody and Alex. How Claire called Jody her mother. It’s like she found a mom, like Dean found Mary (am I making sense? Like how Claire lost her mom and then found a new one in Jody, kinda sounds like a Dean-Mary parallel to me?). And as for Alex, how she managed to get out of a life she was thrust into and go to nursing school (I was so happy they remembered Alex and gave some update on her too :)) Sounds like what could be. I wonder also if Mick tried to recruit Claire? She was a young trainable hunter looking for jobs. It’s odd that he didn’t? But I guess Sam and Dean and Jody would probably not have let him do that.. jshdjhds anyway omg that is all, I think. Sorry for my messy thoughts, oops o_o Have a good week!

Hey dear!

I decided to tackle all of your messages in one go, because otherwise I’d be spamming just bits and pieces. Makes more sense to me to reply this way. :) Surprisingly I did like this episode, which I had not expected to ever be the case again this season tbh, but the bar hangs pretty low, so… LOL. I won’t go into detail here again, you can read up my thoughts on the episode from during live watch you can find them in the link in my sidebar “Things about SPN-posts” and then 12x16 “Ladies Drink Free”), but as a broad statement. I liked Claire’s arc and how I see it in relation to Dean and I loved Dean calling Mick out on his bullshit. Mary not being part of the hunt made absolute zero sense, but that’s one of those “it is because it had to”-moments. Plot-driven reasons that just feel off from within the narrative. Cas’ absence is a similar case. They just drag a story out and it makes no sense for Sam and Dean not even mention him. But this is the stuff you get when writers start up a million tiny stories and then try and juggle them, but fail. I mean, just count all the open threads we have - really none of them really is told satisfyingly. Imo they should have stuck to one or two big aspects and go into detail, but that’s an issue for another time ;)

Anyway… I have written about the BritMoL and their possible plans earlier today as well as over the past couple of days, so you should find a bit more on that if you crossread through my blog. :) But in general to me the current big themes they seem to be tackling with them is a) Mick’s doubts in the methods of the BritMoL and at some point possibly siding rather with the Winchesters and b) the Winchesters and particularly Dean labeled as “rogue” and needing to be “eliminated”. And then of course the black and white thinking on what counts as monster falls into that too. The reason we get Ketch and Mick is because you need PoV characters to better illustrate the BritMoL as a whole to put them into perspective. That wouldn’t work if you just have them act as a group but don’t get to know them as people. I know I have said this countless times, but in general the BritMoL arc is a repeat of S4 arc with Heaven. The orders from high above that should be obeyed without question is the same in Heaven in S4 as what we see with “old men” to whom Mick reports. And Mick is taking Castiel’s place in this analogy (hell, they now even have him wrapped in a coat that’s fitting the color patterns of Cas. Ketch and Mick also serve as the two extremes of the organization of the BritMoL. Their contrasting natures show how this group works and how it is structured. They clearly have a distinction between “brain vs. brawn” and that in the most elitist, arrogant and ignorant way. There are the thinkers like Mick who get their orders and they are the ones siccing their “dogs” - hunters like Ketch or others working for them - on cases. As for those “higher ups”: Seems that this week’s episode may introduce on of them: The one who says either the Winchesters “assimilate or they have to be eliminated”. Furthermore, like I said this morning, I think the BritMoL ultimately may want to get their hands on Kelly Kline and the baby. Not to kill them, but to possibly run some tests or use the kid as their ultra power or so when they “reformed” or rather raised it to their liking.

As for Mary, like I said above, it made no sense for her to not be part of this other than the show can’t have her in every episode due to contract reasons. In a gif set I had spoken of how one could see Mary working similarly as Claire. Needing to be alone and hunting alone for a while (though to me Claire was more of a parallel to what Dean ultimately needs: some time for himself). I think there were a few episodes were she was only name dropped in, but not really part of the episode in a bigger way, so this wasn’t surprising to me. That her absence wasn’t addressed however was plot-driven nonsense imo.

LOL, could be you sent an ask about that a while back. :) I can’t remember right now, but Claire has definitely always served as a Dean parallel. And this episode was no different. She lived in the car and that does align and relate directly to Dean telling Mick “that he had better sleeps in the Impala” (which was a lie of course, but we have seen Dean live in Baby multiple times over the course of 12 seasons). And it made sense for the episode to end on her driving away - it was her important self-actualization/individuation episode and I - and yes, I probably shouldn’t hold any hope to that - still hope that this will be in some fashion Dean at the end of the season. Going on a trip on his own to figure some things out.

Hmmm, when thinking about Claire and finding a new mom in Jody I actually don’t see that as a parallel to Mary and Dean (and Sam), but rather see it as a painful contrast to how Mary is their mom, but really nothing like a true “mother figure”. Jody was there for Claire, she may not have agreed with everything she does, but she always had her back. Mary on the other hand of course was dead for the longest time so she wasn’t there for her sons in a similar fashion, but even now she doesn’t truly seem interested or able to build a meaningful relationship with her sons. And whereas Jody had Claire’s back and made her make her own decisions, Mary so far has pressured them to work with the BritMoL and outright betrayed them when they worked the Ramiel-case.

And last but not least Mick not asking Claire to hunt for them: I think he rather puts her in the “rogue” category of hunters. Sure, she’s interested in working cases and she’s young and trainable, but she made perfectly clear that she didn’t think very highly of Mick’s whole spiel, which further aligns her with Dean as she reacted to them similarly as Dean. So I think Claire would have been too unpredictable and uncontrollable for Mick’s and the BritMoL’s liking - again similarly to Dean. And yes, I think Dean would have very much opposed that, if he tried to recruit her. Though it would lead into dilemma and fir to Claire being annoyed with the Winchesters’ hypocrisy at times as she told Sam outright.

Alright, that’s it, I think :) Thanks for this monster ask. Just as a heads up. If you have such long asks, you can also use the /submit. Makes it easier. :)

[ofcloudsandstars]

I was a witch, I practiced for over 5 years, and honestly I realized it was all fake. Spells don't work, crystals are just rocks, idk I had a major crisis of faith and I feel like I wasted all those years of my life. How do you keep faith doing it?

this is so sad lol :(I mean you are the biggest magical tool, like you are the main instrument stringing along the energy, crystals just help amplify, candles help focus, actually physical tools are just crutches to help focus certain energy but you are the main conductor. Once you feel like it’s all fake it becomes useless because you are essentially the source and it’s dependent on you. 

Depression and anxiety can become challenges when dealing with magic because your energy is dependent on how strong your intent is and how much power you give out and those two things can hinder your power and can make you lose faith cause suddenly you feel like your spells aren’t working and maybe its all fake but really its your negativity talking and your fear and or apathy weakening your energy that you put out. I don’t know you of course cause you are an anon but I deal with these issues myself and sometimes I have low moments because I am trying to battle my own anxiety. 

I mean did you accomplish anything amazing in those 5 years? I’ve honestly have had insane things happen to me and have experienced crazy unbelievable things because of my will power and magic so even when I am in those moments of doubt or even thinking that I am probably some wack ass weak witch I think about the list of things I have accomplished or done for other people that have worked even if it was by eerie coincidence, I still wanted something and it happened. Sometimes I assure myself when I am in these negative mindsets that even if its ‘fake’ and all coincidence- the fact still stands that the coincidences STILL keep happening. So whether its me making up stuff or if it’s truly a power I have that’s out there connecting me with everything it doesn’t matter cause the results remain the same. Its just negativity really can be a massive wet mop to manifesting things to take form (unless if you are cursing).

Also there is this idea of how witches should be like and I have been technically practicing since I was nearing 13 years old but I never called myself a witch until I was in the middle of college at like.. 21? Actually tbh I never called myself a witch OTHER people started calling me a witch lol and I was like ok so if the shoe fits then whatever. But my point saying that everyone goes about their practice their own way cause as I said before you are your own magical instrument and everyone is unique and has their own pace. I mean I like witchy aesthetics cause I was the HP generation influenced by JKRowling’s books so its cute but I never started out that way and the only reason why I like the aesthetics now is for childhood nostalgia reasons. But because what I was doing before, though it worked powerfully, it was not aesthetically or typically witchy, I didn’t think I was qualified to be a witch or label myself so until other people saw me as such and started addressing me by it. That being said you might be pressuring yourself to perform a certain way and you are probably disappointed that you are not getting some type of results you feel like you should be getting because what works for you doesn’t match others expectations of how a witch should perform or what expectations you are trying to meet does not work for you especially if you are going about it in a way that someone else says you should and not by your own means. 

To be honest (and please no shade to like no one here, it’s a personal thing) the majority of spells I see on this site I ignore because its like strongly not the way I do magic and some that get too materialistic or vocal are like a massive waste of time to how I visualize and project my energy or can even be distracting. I also don’t really post my own spells cause they are so abstract and energy based that it might make no fucking sense to the next witch, like I usually post pictures of visual grids that help me focus energy cause people can visually get it, but for the most part my magic makes sense to me and it works for me and that’s what matters. 

 Anyway you don’t need to even touch or look at any of the magical tools most witches use to do magic and you don’t need to do any classical spells or popular spells here because if it doesn’t resonate with you it really will not work. What will help you with finding true spells is something that you make for yourself that will make you feel right after you cast your energy. Don’t worry if what worked for you before is far from the expectations of what people regularly think witches should do or how they should perform. Don’t worry if some spells here don’t work for you. Don’t worry if you don’t resonate with crystals cause fyi they ARE just rocks and yes some do vibrate energy but its on a small scale. And also guess what? A lot of witchcraft goes hand in hand with science or daily crafts so even if what you did made you happy you can do it in a logical way that does not have to necessarily need to slap a magic label on it. Herbal medicines have schools you can attend classes in. Learning aromatherapy and making your own bath mixtures that are good for your skin is a skill. You can practice kitchen magic and learn basic nutrition and see the correlation of how certain foods are natural aphrodisiacs or how they can release dopamine and see how certain herbs and foods have correspondences for love or happiness because of it. (For example I see blueberries as very cerebral and psychic fruits but blueberries really help the brain and give it nutrients and it also helps that it has a deep blueish indigo color like the third eye energy pool so it fits with half logic half spiritual shit). European witches in the old days just knew how to heal people with herbs and that was enough to get the church to want to burn them on the stake cause they were salty they could deliver children without childbirth pain and churches hated women so fucking much they couldn’t deal with that. Maybe one day in the future the things what we are doing could be explained- maybe there will be a science as to how our energy can manipulate things, but for now there are a lot of magics that go hand in hand with science so you don’t have to feel like its all completely made up. I mean in ancient times we thought lightning was caused by the gods and now we know how lightning works. There are many mysteries in the world and the science we know now is not finite knowledge to the universe. 

Lastly, from my own experiences, doubt won’t deter your magic, but apathy will and same with fear like anxieties. If you feel like those last two are your obstacles maybe take some time to do some self reflection and figure out where the root of these sentiments are coming from. Another thing that can really stress some people out is the fear that they don’t want to come off as delusional or something- which, is an anxiety, but honestly just keep your practice to yourself and view it as a religious/spiritual thing and people should respect that. If I live in a country where the majority of people are in a religion that they feel so justified in taking away people’s healthcare and dictate who we should marry then people can take a seat if it upsets them to know someone believes we have energy that can influence our surroundings. But also treat it like a religious/spiritual thing as in don’t talk to it with others unless they are genuinely interested or else its going to be an uncomfortable conversation. 

[thankguard]

RECAP: OUR TOP 50 AUSTRALIAN HIP-HOP/R&B TRACKS OF 2016

2016 was the year that this scene was finally accepted by mainstream media outlets, played regularly on Triple J and given the opportunity to throw mad rap events at some of the countries’ best live music venues. The number of local rap: artists, releases, managers, parties, radio shows, even blogs exploded too. MANU CROOKS was put on BEATS1 rotation & posted on The FADER. SAMPA THE GREAT racked up over half a million streams on “BLUE BOSS”. BARO blurred cultural/sonic boundaries. TKAY MAIDZA dropped a huge album + landed that KILLER MIKE collab. MIDAS.GOLD, CULT SHOTTA, BIG SKEEZ, I AM D, NICO GHOST & SAVOUR THE RATIONS all dominated live-stages across the country. The GREMLNS, PLAYBACK 808, 1 HUNNID RECORDS & TREXON WAVE showed us the future. These squads are all barely out of high-school, have a strong African heritage and are blowing up against the odds. Almost all of the above was soundtracked by producers: DOPAMINE, MIRACLE, JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS, MITCH GRUANKE & HARVEY who don’t get enough credit. JUNOR launched his AUD$ radio show on SYN which is legit. The PROPHECY BOYZ launched SAUCE - a new brand that will probs do huge things in 2K17. RARE FLOW TV, provided an essential piece-to-the-puzzle, bringing this all to life in quality music videos. Australian rap music is at an all time high. But tbh, it’s going to take another miracle to push it any further. Now that there’s money to be made here, cashed-up copy-cat rappers/labels/magazines/venues with no imagination will find a way to suck the life out of your music for a quick profit. Historically, this has happened many times over, preventing Australians from truly impacting music culture on a global scale. WTF is the diff between us and: Canada, England or America? Terrible artists will succeed if you let them. Donald Trump was elected president. We’re always a stones-throw away from making the next generation of AUS rap fans (and the rest of the world) cringe at us. Question everyone. Even THANK GUARD. Oh, btw. This blog still doesn’t make money. Here’s 50 songs that inspired us to keep hustling in 2016 in between dem long-ass shifts. 50. “VIEWS UP” - NYUON (MELB)

NYUON - an essential character in the MELB rap scene - stretches out the parameters of his sound a little more with each release. “VIEWS UP” saw him lean back towards centre after the experimentally hazy, lilting vibe of his ’15 BYMYSELF tape. With the help of producer ROOKIEPRO he pooled that self-effacing, conscious rap-swagger into his most polished track do-date. 49. “SORROWS” - BLESSED (SYD)

Taking cues from CUDI, UK alternative-pop and their own minds, BLESSED managed to instantly stand out from the rest of the trap-heavy SYD scene last year. Their output in ‘16 was super consistent, and “SORROWS” (our fav) has already amassed over 127K plays on Soundcloud. Early days, but their potential for global appeal is already proven. 48. “I.D.C.A” - 18K (BRIS)

“I.D.C.A” gives you a real wow moment the second those bars come in. 18K’s on that: modern-day BONE,THUGZ & HARMONY/vaguely MIGOS ATL, super-quick flow. His beats are perfect too. Hard hitting, modern trap sounds AND a hint of like CLAMS CASINO cloud-rap as well. 47. “30 DAYS” - DENNIS (MELB)

Mysterious producer/singer DENNIS dropped this one to no reception whatsoever. The mastering isn’t professional, but the song itself and the man’s vocals are world class. You gotta pump the volume ride it to the peak for full-effect fam. Like some new BON IVER shit without the cringe, pretty sure this came out first too. 46. “PRESSURE (ft. JACE XL)” - BILLY DAVIS (MELB)

BILLY DAVIS & JACE XL (RYTHYM SECTION) are both heavily associated with THE OPERATIVES (who monopolised vibes in MELB the last decade). JACE shows off his life-changing soul crooning over some classic BILLY DAVIS instrumentation. This would be a lot higher if it were more relevant to our needs. 45. “NO MORE” - DEEVILLA (SYD)

With this track alone, SYDNEY-based DEEVILLA proved he can write the type of song this scene needs. His flow, lyrics and overall mood on “NO MORE” summed up 2016 perfectly in terms of music & vibe. FLIP TRILL’s production on this one did all the above and more. 44. “RUN UP (ft. FLYBOII & L.U.I)” - LIL SPACELY (SYD)

Got the vibe that BLACK DANNA head honcho SPACELY had a tough 2016. But, being an essential SYDNEY rap-character that he is, the dude still managed to drop some of the livest AUS rap tracks of 2016. On “RUN UP”, he took the chunky, horn-filled instrumental from FAT JOE and REMY MA’s “ALL THE WAY UP”, puffed out his chest, and along with a couple talented homies delivered a growling, arrogant battle track that signalled his readiness to take his music national. He’s already dropped several tracks in ’17. Stay woke. 43. “FIRE” - SQUIDGENINI (MELB)

SQUIDGENINI a.k.a Bella, is one of Melbourne’s better-kept secrets right now. She’s been honing her craft for some time: playing in bands, producing solo tracks and supporting huge artists. “FIRE”, one of her only releases in 2016, instantly put her on our radar. This highly ambitious track features no-bullshit lyrisicm, eccentric production and some straight up vocal-fire. 42. “NAH BRUH, THIS IS WAGE GANG!” - VEENO (SYD)

When BABY VEENO dropped this insane freestyle in October it was criminally over-looked by many (including us). Choosing YOUNG THUG’S timeless “SEE YOU” beat from that G.O.A.T RICH GANG tape proved to us that the man has taste. The ensuing bars instilled visions of VEENO becoming SYDNEY’s trap-SKEPTA in ’17. 41. “CLAP BACK” - SAVOUR THE RATIONS (SYD)

SAVOUR THE RATIONS were one of the most influential, pro-active and entertaining AUSTRALIAN rap crews of 2016 (especially towards the end). KWAME, DOMBA, JAYJAY ASSASSIN, GYBRYLLAH SHYNE & RAJ MAHAL made their biggest moves via videos/live performances. “CLAP BACK” which was dropped on Jan 2nd, 2016 showed the boys doing their ting for their own entertainment. This year they’ll be doing it for thousands no doubt. 40. “BEST FRIEND (YOUNG THUG REMIX)” - BIG SKEEZ (SYD)

This was probably the local track we played most last year. BIG SKEEZ really stood out in ‘16 for his song-writing hustle & originality (highlighted on his S.A.T.T mixtape). Remixing such a familiar, iconic song allowed SKEEZ to let loose in the booth more than ever before, resulting in 3:14 of explosive, feverish trap-fury filled with icy-cold local references/flips. 39. “ALIVE REMIX (ft. BARO & CAZEAUX O.S.L.O)” - ESESE (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a more suitable 2016 MELBOURNE summer-rap anthem than this BARO remix if I tried. It feature local pillars: CAEZEUX O.S.L.O, SKOMES and the ESESE crew - and oozes those heavenly FITZROY day-party vibes. Hearing HENOQ and O.S.L.O both spit new-gen AUS boom-bap masterpieces in rapid succession would’ve brought a tear to the eye of every true BURN-CITY rap-fan this year. 38. “NO MORALS (ft. $KINNY DOM)” - BLACK NAPOLEON (WA)

On “NO MORALS”, BLACK NAPOLEON brought equal parts: slow, deliberate and estatic D double E style booth raps - the kind you’d hear on some UK Pirate radio set to the table. LUCHII, another PERTH-based genius jumped into the mix sounding more like a 6K Gucci, nailing the perfect guest verse. The CAMERON PARK directed-visuals for this one featured no guns, knives or punches thrown, but it still stands as one of the most violent local vids of ’16. #HOMEBAKED. 37. “FUCK THE JUDGE (ft. REMI)” - BARO (MELB)

When BARO dropped the second taste of his soon-TBR JPYNTK tape about 6 months ago, the world was torn in half by the racial violence sweeping the US. It was literally with you everywhere you went, no matter ur skin colour. “FUCK THE JUDGE”, which was released at the very hight of this chaos featured inspired verses from REMI + BARO and was accompanied by the statement: “They're killing my people. They're killing PEOPLE.” The song itself also made another (less important statement) about BARO’s unflinching confidence as a dude/rapper. It was his first absolute crystal clear “fuck u” to industry/fan expectations - a sign that he might be giving the typical AUS rap-sound a much needed kick up-the-butt in 2017. 36. “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” - LORD LEVI (MELB)

When it comes to MELB underground anthems in 2016, LORD LEVI’s “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” is practically unrivalled. The hook, flow and production on this one truly encapsulates the rise of the BURN-CITY outer-suburb high-school trap scene in 2016. LEVI and the GREMLN squad built a dedicated following last year on the back of songs like this. Trek thru any BURN-CITY suburb and “I SEE POTENTIAL” follows u through the streets. 35. “FLEX MODE” - ERIK SANDERS (BRIS)

Brisbane’s ERIK SANDERS blew up out of nowhere last year on the back of several highly-polished, US-influence nu-trap singles. “FLEX MODE” bursts out of the gate with a series of auto-tune inflected bars that twist-and-turn, merging multitudes of impressive melodies in quick succession. This one gets real wild at the end too. 34. “RIDE (ft. REZT)” - LUCHII (WA)

LUCHII has always struck us as an interesting character, but we still slept on the man in ’16. When he dropped “RIDE” like a month ago, we swore to stay woke on the PERTH creative forevermore. This one rides an island trap wave that reminded us of CHILDISH GAMBINO’s “CALIFORNIA” and MAC MILLERS new stuff, but it also hits on something completely new. The vocals reference ATL rhythms/tones AND something else, which MUST have been born in a cloud of green smoke on one of those pristine PERTH beaches. 33. “PULL UP (ft. CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL & RANDOLPH)” - BONKI CHOL (ADEL)

In 2016, the TREXON WAVE squad was our guilty pleasure. We legit found ourselves rinsing their proficiently rugged trap cuts more than CHANCE or FRANK. “PULL UP” is the song that started the whole affair. I remember being high af on a Tuesday at like 2PM about 8 months ago just blasting this enchanting MIGOS-style cut on my speakers for an hour straight. Jut listen to BONKI CHOI and homies: CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL, RANDOLPH bring the sauce one time. They all flaunt separate styles, personalities and lyrical tendencies on this one, but their skills/delivery are at 100 throughout. 32. “HOW U FEEL” - NICO GHOST (MELB)

Close your eyes and “HOW U FEEL” will take you to a dark, nondescript club setting. Smoke settles in over those eerie trap bells - the calm before the storm. That amazing harpsichord removes any sense of time/location. Your mind is finally empty. Nico spits that FB generation mantra: “I couldn’t really give a fuck how you feel”, lulling you into a false sense of security before ruining your life with intensity. NICO’s 2016 was pretty-much dominated by his wild live-show. But in between sets he found the time to gift us with this the premiere for this one. Was a huge step forward for us. The man’s legit. 31. “MONSTER TRUCK” - ALLDAY (MELB)

ALLDAY is huge - has been for years now. In 2016, he went through a bit of a sonic evolution and we fucked with it heavy. “MONSTER TRUCK” is a song that pushed Australian rap to places in the world it rarely reaches. This one features earnest lyrics, euphoric melodies and a skin-tight flow - years of work/experience all coming together. ALLDAY made some serious global waves last year as unique voice in the world of post-OVO rap music. 30. “LIONA” - NASTY MARS (MELB)

On “LIONA”, future-star NASTY MARS took warm, wavy, lo-fi production ripped straight from a SOULECTION cassette and crafted his own rap/soul-experiment around the peaks and flows of the beat. Although, hardly representative of this guy’s unreleased material, live show and overall position in the AUSTRALIAN rap/soul scene - “LIONA” still managed to take on a life of it’s own… just suss the comments. 29. “BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER” - LUTHER (BRIS)

One of BRISBANE’s most charismatic up-and-comers, LUTHER teamed up with AUS production royalty JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS early last year for a YOUNG THUG/LIL WAYNE style cut that blew us away. The production bangs. LUTHER’s wild, warbling trap-jitterings are fierce, crunchy and at times hilarious. Everything you want in a track like this. The dude is associated with the WORLDWIDE BOYS who will blow up this year. 28. “THIRSTY” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

“THIRSTY” came last year amidst a never-ending avalanche of consistently jaw-dropping ANFA ROSE & DOPAMINE joint-efforts. Everything on this one from the samples, to ROSE’s perfectly structured verses - to those 808 snares cutting thru your entire being - to the lyrics enforced our theory that these dudes aren’t human. They are computer programs or clones or holograms or something. 27. “MARIA MARIA” - GEEK, CHARLES X & SELASIE WUSSAH (SYD)

This one - easily top 3 most iconic “THANK GUARD” anthems in our entire history. Seeing it live at one of our BONEY parties inspired some of the most emotional dabs ever dabbed. When it dropped back in Jan, it brought out some of our best writing ever too… so I’m just gonna quote myself here.

“On the most polished THANK GUARD Premiere to-date, a dynamic trio of epileptic acid-rappers exchange contrasting melodic flows - in a bid to win a Spanish bae’s heart.” If you don’t know GEEK, CHARLES X (of CULT SHOTTA) or SELASIE WUSSAH by now we don’t trust u. 26. “1 3 1 6” - E L K (ADL)

Adelaide teen E L K bursted onto the scene with last year with “TUTEN KARMEN”, which would have easily made the top 10 if he didn’t remove it from SC. “1 3 1 6”, a different (but equally impressive) joint also blew us away. This one brings guys like MF DOOM & JAY ELECTRONICA to mind instantly, but channeled thru the purity of a fresh, young mind with the voice of a rap-god. In 2016 alone, E L K and his PLAYBACK 808 crew went from bedroom rappers, to the creators of a legit AUS rap movement that looks poised to climb mountains in 2017. 25. “FEELING GOOD FEELING GREAT” - TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI (WA)

2 months ago, FourAM head-honcho TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI teamed up with producer SNOWEE for a sun-drenched 6K anthem. Some rare RAE SCHREMMURD vibes (if they were slightly more sober). Truly peaks at the end. TOYOTOMI is another young dude whose influence on the culture went beyond rapping last year. From short films, events to supporting those around him - this kid did it all in 2016. 24. “DOPER THAN DOPE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - SK SIMEON (MELB)

One of AUSTRALIA’s best rhythmic-vocalists had a huge 2016. SK SIMEON has been a worldwide reggae force for a minute now. Born in Uganda, recorded his first song at a studio in Dandenong… But last year “DOPE THAN DOPE” - one of his best tracks to-date was remixed by MACHINEDRUM. This version (which sounds good anywhere) took SK’s insane rapid-fire singing and infectious tongue-in-cheek delivery to dance-floors around the world. 23. “NULIFE” - MAIA (BRIS)

BRISBANE neo-neo-soul singer/producer MAÏA returned to form in 2016 with her nostalgic, intimate “LOFI” Mixtape. “NULIFE” - a definite standout will swallow you up whole in a blanket of warm, jazzy melodies and pulsating rimshots. Coming very early in the year, this track really pre-empted a lot of trends that are dominating American music culture as we speak. We predict huge things for MAIA in 2017. 22. “$AUCE” - GREMLNS (MELB)

2016 was the year of the GREMLN in the suburbs of MELB. No other underground AUS rap squad made more of an impact than these guys in the last 12 months. This “SAUCE” video came about after months of anticipation and was defs worth the wait. It showed the GREMSQUAD more polished-than-ever, a bunch of real young talents standing at the crossroads between street-fame and industry acceptance. The video itself is like a cross between an old-school Tarantino movie and a London GRIME vid, but set in some unmistakably murky Burn-city graffiti spots. 21. “BERETTA” - MATT BLACK (SYD)

SYDNEY-based vocalist MATT BLACK exploded out of the blocks last year with a series of MIRACLE/DOPAMINE produced R&B/SOUL singles - the type big labels dream about every night. “BERETTA” is the whole package. A high-concept, slow-burning, futuristic love-song which cleverly compares a lover to a pistol. Two things that (depending on the circumstances) can save you or destroy you, make u feel like a man or a mouse. 20. “EVERYDAY” - DREAM$TEAM (ADEL)

So much love for duo’s with vastly different voices. When you listen to a DREAM$TEAM you got no time for boredom. You’ve got CHARLTON on the first verse who always goes in with this SHAKE070-style flow and A-grade emotionally-charged lyricism, then the other G comes in riding world-class auto-tune vibes that sit somewhere between YACHTY & TRAVI$ SCOTT. The production, which features ZAYTOVEN-style piano, is the opposite of corny… bounces hard & leaves plenty of room for vocals. These guys are insanely talented for their age-bracket. Anythings possible for them in 2017 19. “TENNIES” - TKAY MAIDZA (ADEL)

TKAY MAIDZA, easily one of the most successful artists on this list had a huge 2016. She was spun on SKRILLEX’s OWSLA radio show, played a tonne of festivals in AUS & FRANCE, but most importantly dropped a huge studio album, TKAY, which featured guest verse from KILLER MIKE (Run The Jewels). “TENNIES” was our favourite track from the album, because it combined her signature worldly sugar-rap with some hella uplifting footwork vibes. How often is boundary-pushing music this much fun? 18. “LAPUTA (TAYLOR MCFERRIN REMIX ft. ANDERSON PAAK)” - HIATUS KAIYOTE (MELB)

The one and only MELB-based GRAMMY-nominated future-soul quartet that we probs should have posted by now had to have a presence on this list, at least to show you all what’s possible. Their second album “CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON” is a must listen, but was released waybach in 2015. Last year, TAYLOR MCFERRIN recruited ANDERSON PAAK to rework standout single “LAPUTA” for a remix EP. The results speak for themselves. 17. “PEACEWALKER” - GALLU$, RAIDER KING (BRIS)

GALLU$ was real cult-force down in BRISBANE last year. His influence on the scene transcended his recordings - a huge statement considering the quality of songs like “PEACEWALKER”. This one features some heavy statements screamed with a natural Aussie accent over “GLASSSS” by PYRMDPLAZA. 

“THIS INDUSTRY’S FAKE & THE PEOPLE TALK BULLSHIT // THAT SOUNDS PRETTY OBVIOUS // SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? // QUESTIONING MY OWN MUSIC LIKE // EVERY LINE THAT I WRITE // CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL STUPID.” - nuff said. 16. “ALL OF MI LIFE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - YAW FASO (MELB)

2016 was a year where artists like POPCAAN & J HUS were getting love on THE FADER + DRAKE/BIEBER/SKRILLEX were jacking sounds from the Caribbean and breaking billboard records. When our own YAW FASO shared this MACHINEDRUM remix of his sun-drenched single “ALL OF MI LIFE” the timing was perfect, but as the hook declares, he wasn’t riding any trends. Reggae is one of the few genres that makes you smile, dance and forget about all your issues. This song, bursting with: FASO’s highly motivational reggae mantras, sugary buildups and super-refreshing production does all the above. 15. “IDK” - GILL BATES (BRIS)

With his LESS STRESS, MORE SUCCESS EP, GILL BATES showed a whole new side of himself to the world in 2016. Standout cut “IDK” took the catchier side of AUS rap into unknown territory: substance & self-awareness. Above all tho, it’s just a great song. That larger-than-life JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS production grabs you from 0:01… GILL’s opening line “BEEN DROWNING MY SORROWS // BOTTLE AFTER BOTTLE” takes you into his psyche… Then GILL & JAMES drag you deeper and deeper into darkness before flipping things with a bittersweet xylophone-driven hook. A world-class highlight from one of the best local releases in 2016. 14. “NEVER BEEN” - TYRØNE (SYD)

In the last 12 months, few local artists worked harder than TYRØNE. The SYDNEY rapper/producer legit dropped a full EP Trilogy, brimming with GOAT Australian rap lyricism. Song, after song the guy managed to craft a unique aesthetic for himself and his music – darkness that isn’t fake. “NEVER BEEN”, a real standout encapsulates this dedication to his craft more than any other. That skin-tight baritone flow just doesn’t stop on this one. “I SAY LIFE IS EVERYTHING YOU MAKE IT // ONE THING DAMN RIGHT I AIN’T NEVER BEEN FAKE BITCH” 13. “HIT EM” - I AM D (BRIS)

BRISBANE one-man-movement I AM D flew way under our radar until we heard this one. “HIT EM” showcased D’s near iconic nu-AUSSIE rap tone, through a stream of SKEPTA-like vocal punches that explained every move he would make in the local scene. Little did we know at the time, but he actually went on to achieve everything he rapped on this track. In a matter of months after its release: he got signed to a major label, dropped a hugely successful EP, landed a national tour and stamped his influence on the local culture. 12. “NO FATIGUE (ft. GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH)” - CULT SHØTTA (SYD)

The video for “NO FATIGUE” really set the tone for CULT SHØTTA season in 2016. They were always a truly unique presence in the Australian rap game, but on this track, they toned things down, unleashing line-after-line of vibrant acid-raps over a relatively sparse bass-driven trap beat. As per usual, CHARLES X, GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH each brought their A-game, showing off vastly different styles/personas, each challenging different “AUSTRALIAN RAP” taboos in the process. It also marked the beginning of director RUFFY’s much-needed string of ambitious video-work that helped elevate many-a local rapper last year. 11. “FOR GOOD (ft. SAMPA THE GREAT)” - REMI (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a better ’16 feel-good Aus-rap summer anthem than REMI and SAMPA’s “FOR GOOD” if I tried. When your air-con breaks on a 35 degree day, this song could actually save ur life. The production, hook and overall vibe really feels like a classic Triple J anthem, the type that soundtracked our lives. But, obviously everything has been re-worked for the next-generation, creating a crisper, more sonically diverse hit than we’re used to. 10. “EXISTENTIALITY” - OJIKAE (MELB)

“EXISTENTIALITY” is a lovesick vision that’s refreshingly different from the over-saturated BILLBOARD TOP 100-style R&B that the likes of TORY LANEZ and BRYSON TILLER put out. It was also the very first track released by 17 y.o VCE student Matt Cicero, which blew us away immediately last JULY. The guy wrote something original, produced the track himself and whipped out a spine-tingling vocal performance that singlehandedly dragged his ass all the way to the top 10 of this list. 9. “ASSUMPTIONS” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“ASSUMPTIONS” was premiered on ZANE LOWE’s BEATS1RADIO show… got our mag a global shoutout AND tore stages apart across the country in 2016. We heard more sides of Sydney game-changer MANU CROOKS than ever before on this one. With help from production masterminds DOPAMINE & MIRACLE, CROOKS departed from them brooding Toronto vibes to show Australia & the world that he can can TURN UP like the best of them. 8. “CALL ME” - DEVARN (MELB)

This song is what THANK GUARD is all about. Sonically, it’s right up our alley… but more importantly it came from a creative young dude who: thinks for himself and punches well-above his weight considering the resources/money some people on this list have at their disposal. It also tells a story we have witnessed for years now…

“ALL OF MY N*GGAS THEY WORK IN THE SUN // WAITING FOR LABELS TO HIT UP THEY PHONE // I WANT SOME MONEY TO GET ME A PHONE” Few rappers can get you on their side like Melbourne’s DEVARN. His vocals are earnest, intimate - when he raps, it feels like he’s letting you into his world. He doesn’t slur his words, or smother them in auto-tune either - you can hear every word the man is saying. Also, huge props for referencing some of our fav underground anthems >> SAUCE (GREMLNS) >> MOOSHAMAD // I HAD A DREAM WE GON’ MAKE IT. Damn. 7. “000000” - MIDAS.GOLD (BRIS)

Last year, Brisbane’s MIDAS.GOLD elevated himself to the Mount Rushmore of this new-wave. Of all the wild trap releases & intimate soul-searching cuts on his huge FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH EP, “000000” had the biggest impact on the scene. It dropped all the way back in JANUARY when local rappers were all bumping FUTURE & YOUNG THUG 24/7, but still didn’t truly believe that an Aussie could incorporate these sounds into their music so convincingly. MIDAS truly made this quality JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS/MO LIASON beat his bitch from 0:01, before abruptly taking the track down a notch in its last third, flipping the beat and creating a Schoolboy Q-esque bleary-eyed, kushed-out vibe that eased the track out from its original energy. 6. “WHIP IT” - BIG SKEEZ

We’ve been huge supporters of BIG SKEEZ for a long time. Every track he dropped in 2016 wreaked of originality in both vision and character. SKEEZ, a dude climbing his way up a ladder of: elegant email signatures, cut-throat managers and concrete industry rules, often collaborated with us thru a simple fb message - or just bumping into him in the city. This made us question the likelihood of his success to some extent, but when this video for “WHIP IT” dropped, it turned all our dreams into a reality. The WAVY BADMON, along with his SYDNEY crew absolutely owned the big screen, turning up like a pro to one of the standout tracks from his under-rated debut mixtape. Seeing this whole evolution transpire before our very eyes gave this CERNE STUDIOS production a real sentimental value for the whole THANK GUARD team. 5. “ABSURD” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

ANFA ROSE and DOPAMINE’S magnum opus will make you cry like a Canadian watching Drake sing the national anthem. The silky smooth, “Absurd” is a beautifully executed blend of 808s, pianos and harmonies. When it comes to polish, no local track released in 2016 comes close to this one. DOPAMINE stripped back that instrumental, focusing on an ethereal and ominous beat with a chordal pattern that slides effortlessly from note to note. ROSE’s delicate melodies fuse perfectly with the instrumental and his lyrics, which are reminiscent of DRAKE’s odes to RIHANNA, or THE WEEKND’s odes to drugs. 4. “RUN IT (ft. LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH)” - MIKE WANG (MELB)

When low-key GREMLN MICHAEL WANG dropped this fire squad track all borders between Australia & America went up in flames. The MELBOURNE underground literally outshone the AUSTRALIAN i-Tunes charts. Nothing would make sense ever again. In terms of flow, lyricism and local impact… this was without a doubt one of the best Australian rap tracks released in 2016. WANG, LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH came out, guns blazing with their own jaw-dropping take on that MIGOS-style flow (and this was all before “BAD & BOUJEE” blew up). That little OVO-style hook/breakdown “I GOT BANDS…” really added a whole other dimension to the song too. Don’t even get me started on the message behind these lyrics and their relevancy to our scene, the city of MELBOURNE and the racial/cultural tensions often overlooked by most Australians. 3. “BLOWIN’ UP (ft. MIRACLE)” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“BLOWIN UP” was MANU CROOKS flipping the switch and making a statement: his rise to success is about much more than bangerz. Being able to rap and record full-time is any local rapper’s dream and seeing the SYDNEY rapper get premiered on The FADER must have motivated thousands of Australian teenagers to keep hustling in 2016. Honestly, didn’t think someone from this new AUS rap-scene would make the pages of a mag like The FADER for at least another year. That stamp of approval means a lot. Manu’s tuned-up, magnetically charismatic vocals definitely stole the show on this one…Dude just seems to know exactly what to rap and when. But, none of this would have been possible without his equally talented bros: DOPAMINE & MIRACLE who both shined, bright as ever on this one. 
DOPAMINE always knows just the right amount of syrupy autotune to sprinkle over his mates vocals & this beat speaks for itself. MIRACLE’S production and vocals contributions always help bring a track to the next-level. All 3 of these guys will no-doubt make even more Australian-rap history in 2017. 2. “WDUBI (ft. NASTY MARS & MARCUS)” - BARO (MELB)

When the mind of a black sheep is re-configured to entertain the mindless masses, an artist has reached their final frontier. BARO (NASTY MARS & MARCUS) did this last year with “WDUBI” - the first taste from his eagerly-awaited JPYNTK tape. On first encounter, it plays as the perfect Australian new-gen rap jam. But on further inspection, everything about it: the production, vocal stylings and somber sonic undertones expose it for the beautiful alien it really is. All three verses loosely acknowledge US 2K16 rap (CHANCE, GAMBINO etc), but overall this track really does’t follow the rules set by the American market at all - which is why we love it so much. That NIC MARTIN production plays a huge roll in this also. Something about those double-timed snares/claps and the tempo made this one feel so damn refreshing. We really played the fuck out of this one last year. THANK GUARD. Oh btw “AND IF WE HAVE A SON I THINK WE’LL NAME HIM STEVEN” - line O.T.Y 1. “BLUE BOSS” - SAMPA THE GREAT (SYD)

LMAO. In 2016, a lot of local bro’s hyped their shit like crazy. Walking around like the TUPAC reincarnate, talking smack online & sharing videos on FB 10 times a day… and SAMPA THE GREAT quietly drops a song that makes them all look foolish, raising her to instant-legend status. SAMPA is emotionally mature, intellectually elegant, socially conscious. Her words can fight wars or comfort a child. She is the type of person you’d want running for president, let alone running the local rap scene. “BLUE BOSS” is like a world-class 2K16 surprise rap-hit, but also feels timeless. Unlike kindred spirits NONAME & KAMAIYAH, SAMPA keeps her production and overall-vibe as earthy as possible, creating her own unique place in the rap-world. Considering the desperate need for more female rappers in this country, the quality of SAMPA’s vocals and her all-too-rare modest demeanour, we had to give “BLUE BOSS” the #1 spot. Posted by PAULINE HANSON