#tbh i have no idea what im going to vote this time

[aroaceofthesea]

Happy new year!! After getting a couple asking me (plus many passive agressive ppl scheduling the post for yesterday) to make a best 2023 meme poll, you have convinced me. Even though it made my notifs suffer last year, here you have

[fellasleepinbaltimore]

I think it's over girlies I KNOW 8TS OVER STILL I CLING!! no but genuinely feel like my dad is kinda like... pissed off im not at work I have no idea what he needed tbh and he didn't give me a serious answer by any means so I feel like when he gets home it's gonna be all up ngl

[decepti-thots]

for so long I have felt like a weirdo for thinking that the jro pregnancy stuff is deeply unhorny. but I am going to say it now: it's only horny in the way that the alien franchise is horny: there are definitely people who are horny about it, but it's primarily about the non-sexy aspects of pregnancy. i get that it's a funny joke but a non-insignificant people genuinely act like it's "the writer's barely disguised fetish". birth is weird and scary and fascinating, even more so in robots. im probably more defensive about this than I should be but it's kind of upsetting to me that this is where the discussion always ends

I'll put this under a cut so as not to spam anyone's dash bc yeah I went off on this ask haha (positive).

I actually felt so insane about this very topic I ran a damn poll on my NSFW sideblog and the thing is: the majority of folks voting agreed no, it's not inherently, textually horny. (I would know; I know horny when I see it, ffs!) Which vindicated me! Because I agree it's so ridiculous a thing to unironically, sincerely insist is super horny, given the text, lmao.

Like, it's extremely obsessed with pregnancy, but this is not the same as 'a fetish', and tbqh I think the 'fetish' joke just shields any actually interesting discussion of what it's doing. I think the Alien comparison here is actually really telling; it's absolutely a visceral thing, a thing concerned with the body and how it functions, sometimes against our will. And it's not unconnected to sexuality or eroticism in how those things are discussed more broadly, in the sense it's talking about a thing that intersects with those elements in the abstract, but it's not. Like. It's not a "fetish" thing, and if the characters it involved weren't referred to as 'he' in text I think less people would be calling it that, and actually it kinda sucks that every time I bring it up I have to block people who see 'pregnancy mentioned' on my completely sfw posts as an excuse to go off on their personal fetishes in detail, or their desire to speculate on the imagined fetishes of the writer in equally graphic detail. (BTW, it's genuinely uncomfortable seeing people obsessively speculate on the imagined fetishes of a creator, I think. We should all do that a little less in public.)

I mean not to be a total killjoy or anything but like... treating pregnancy in itself, even in the most abstract way, as inherently fetishistic and inappropriate (the people reblogging my innocuous posts about pregnancy metaphors with fucking trigger warnings! 'mpreg trigger warning' being a normalized way to tag pictures that are just Trans Dude Who Is Pregnant!) is uh. I mean we live in a world where pregnant people are often massively marginalized by society period, and seen as somehow inappropriate for public life, and especially anyone who is remotely GNC. Like the idea that something is inherently obscene about a pregnant person is, shall we say, not apolitical. It is in fact a thing that people actually have to fight against in real life. I mean. Fandom doing this to a text that in fact is most notable for treating pregnancy weirdly neutrally in these terms is... frustrating! I think we all lose out when we refuse to engage with weird, funny texts that have things to say about these topics that fall outside our expected frameworks, like, say, 'this is A Fetish TM'. That's limiting! If we want to talk about what IDW1 phase two does with gender, we cannot do that properly if every time we talk about MTMTE we get weird about it doing sexless genderfree pregnancy metaphors, and instead make them funny mpreg jokes, tbh! IDK! Seems counter intuitive! And I genuinely think MTMTE/LL's bizarre approach to the thing is so interesting precisely because it's so odd and offputting. What if we actually examined it. I think we can find some good stuff in there, frankly.

And truly the especially frustrating thing is that the comic itself, for all it is objectively weird and hilarious and 'why the fuck is this even HERE' about it... is just never that. Like. I posted those excerpts because it IS weird and it IS wild and it IS quite funny in its way! It's alien robot body horror in a kids' cartoon franchise turned to an unexpected end! But you know what it actually manages, somehow, to never be? One: weird and misogynist about pregnancy. Two: weird and transphobic about it involving vaguely, ostensibly 'male' characters. Make all the mpreg jokes you want I guess, but MTMTE is many bizarre things but it never gives one single shit about the gender binary, and tbh I think it's genuinely kind of embarrassing the fandom saw a comic that did insane robot body horror pregnancy shit and was like. Okay well. But the mpreg tho.

Like. I've joked for years that I want to do a transmasc read of the pregnancy stuff Roberts did in TF seriously, same as I think a transmasc read of how Alien presents fears around "male pregnancy" in a trans context would be great. And for all my jokes, I genuinely would, actually. I think it's legit very interesting how Roberts manages to divorce the presentation of horror of pregnancy from gender in a way that mitigates the gendered subtext somewhat and gets at the loss of autonomy in a broader sense.

anyway it truly sucks that fandom is so fucking shitty about this. to give a little extra context, i talk about a particular transmasc humanformer AU sometimes that involves pregnancy and. i have had to Delete Some Fucking Asks about that thing, which. well that happens in normal regular real life and people talk about it like a fanfic trope (derogatory). so. i am a little sensitive to people getting Like This about the topic, aha.

sorry i went off on one anon, can you tell. i also find this frustrating. i relate. i am totally with you. god it would be so much less interesting to read it as horny so like, why is this the ONLY MODE we seem to have tbh

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: nibbleinephym

our interviewee is @nibblelinephym (known in 2020/2021 as severely-nearsighted). here is a copy/pasted transcript of the questions and answers!

(if these posts are too long, please let me know, and i'll incorporate a cutoff in the future!)

Q: What do you remember most fondly about ‘Early MCYTblr’? (2020-2021)

A: i think im most fond of how tight-knit the community felt in the 'early days' honestly? dont get me wrong seeing it grow and new creators bring even more people in has been wonderful but theres just something about a smaller fandom that feels nice. we were never by any means a Small fandom but we're a Lot bigger now than we were just a few years ago!

Q: I understand that you were the face of Silverfish2020 (winner of the first MCYTblr elections). What was your experience in the elections themselves like?

A: first, clarifying; unfortunately silverfish2020 was Not the winner of the first election; that was quotes2020, represented by mcyt-quotes (who i believe has since changed urls? apologies but im not sure what their current one is or if theyre still active at all ^^;) by exactly four votes -- for me the elections were a lot of fun! when they were first starting up i wasn't sure if i wanted to join, since there were a Lot of people involved already and i hadn't really solidified myself as part of the community yet (i think i was still almost exclusively a musical blog back in the first days of it, not multifandom, which is so wild to think about tbh). im really glad i did though, i met some truly amazing people through the event that i still talk with to this day :] everything felt very fast paced at the time, especially since the discord was almost always going at blink-and-youll-miss-it speeds; you had to be Constantly in there if you wanted to participate in conversation. i remember whenever someone joined the server there would be a mob of people from different parties trying to convince them to side with theirs. surprisingly, that tactic worked pretty well for a lot of parties. i vividly remember that there was usually a pause of activity in the general server when results were being posted and a boom when they were all out. it was overall just a generally pretty positive environment from what i remember

Q: You were also a contestant in the MCYTblr ‘Friend or Host’ for Paint (adhddream). What do you remember of it?

A: friend or host was great! i wasnt in the competition long (iirc i was one of the first five out??? i dont actually remember how many contestants there were for the round but i know i was pretty early ^^;) but paint seemed really chill, it was just a nice little thing that we did for fun at love or hosts peak. i remember the discord stream of it didnt exactly go very well -- there was an issue with the visuals i think? so it might have been only audio. but im not entirely sure about that, it didnt really stick in my mind as well as other things from that era.

Q: What was the roleplay for Silverfish2020 like? 

A: the silverfish roleplay was very,, im not sure what the best word for it would be. chaotic maybe. there were a lot of things going on there just because there were a lot of things going on in the elections roleplay as a whole. we really leaned into the cult thing when the jokes started and it just kinda spiraled from there. in the beginning we toyed with the idea of a chestburster type thing living inside of the party members but it never really went anywhere despite how much we talked about it in our private discord,, instead we just focused on the party being a sort of hivemind. they lived in a stronghold under a dead forest and would try to get others to listen to 'the buzz' (like. insect buzzing. except if you listened to it long enough youd start hearing promises of a new family and respect and power and shit like that). one of our party members, shard (@shardofsun) was very thorough with all of her lore, going so far as to make detailed plans in a notebook of hers. the roleplay extended throughout the other elections as well (if you ignore the third and only through past lifetimes in the fourth) and is still partially going on now!

Q: You’ve been consistently keeping a list of all ‘kinnie’ (content creator imposter) blogs. Which ones stood out to you?

A: i think one of the imposter blogs that stood out most to me was definitely iamdreamwastaken (who eventually moved to tmblrdream) just because they were very interactive and took all the shit we sent them in stride. i also really liked the timedeo imposter despite never watching any of timedeos stuff. just thought they were cool. honourable shoutout to the eret and nihachu imposters too they rocked

Q: What are the biggest blogs you can remember? What was your impression of them?

A: the biggest blogs i can remember are probably gnfkitten [braveboyhalo] back when cat was the only one on the blog, adhddream, hearty-an0n(maybe not a Big one?? but very active and in a Lot of peoples inboxes from what i saw) and wooteena. there are definitely more urls i remember like georgeeehd (i think?) and wormweeb but i dont think i followed georgeeehd and i cant remember a whole lot of wormweebs stuff apart from the infertility post so i cant accurately answer for them ^^; wooteena was an acquaintance of mine; we didnt talk a whole lot but we were mutuals for a while. they were always pretty chill, despite the fact there were people out there shipping them with a friend of theirs?? ive always had huge respect for them just because they had the energy to deal with shit like that. i was friends with gnfkitten and hearty-an0n, at the very least in a 'wave at each other on the street' way, and i have really fond memories of the both of them :] hearty is still active, they post about sports these days from what i see on my dash, but im not sure if cat is despite gnfkitten being active as a group blog. adhddream always seemed really cool! my memory of their blog isnt super clear but i know i really liked seeing them on my dash back in the day. since this is tumblr i have no way of knowing if any of these people were actually Big Blogs but it definitely seemed like they were to me at the time haha

Q: What was the most insane piece of fandom drama you can remember from early MCYTblr? Did you participate?

A: i dont actually remember a whole lot of fandom drama from that time honestly. i tended to stay in my bubble of mutuals and other people i followed so it rarely ever crossed my dash. i was like ,, 15-16 at the time so fandom drama stressed me wayyyyy out, i tried my best to avoid it. the only stuff i can really remember at all was people fighting about whether or not it was okay to ship the characters from the dream smp and if shipping the characters was the same as shipping the players, but i never participated in any of the discourse from what i can recall

Q: Is there anything else you want to mention or that you want to be written down and remembered?

A: nope! though im happy to clarify on anything stated here if needed or answer any other questions that may arise :]

[slytherinshua]

Hopefully they will get a bit of rest before the show! They definitely need it after the tour though, the schedule seemed brutal. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it was me lol. You'll have to let me know what they are like to watch live, I'm sure they'll be amazing!!

Play is such a comfort song! I have definitely cried listening to it as well haha, also haze. I really do love how they have a song for every mood lol.

I'm honestly so glad that I started to listen to them when I did. I found them at a time when I'm finally starting to think more positively about myself and seeing my own potential, like seeing that I can improve myself but also being kind to myself when I inevitably mess up. I think the messages in their songs are really comforting and make me feel seen. (Although I still remember the night when hug by seventeen absolutely broke me ahaha) Finding a talented violinist who plays music that I like has helped me want to become better in that sense too, although admittedly I have wanted to improve for a while, but Yechan has actually given me a goal which is nice. (I've started to try and learn boogie man and my respect for Yechan has went WAY up).

I have wanted to watch super and for ages!! I never knew where to find it though. I found out about it because I'd started to listen to Hoppipolla and then would watch compilation videos of clips from superband. It seems so fun! And the amount of talent would make me cry ahaha. I'll and Ha Hyunsang's voices in 1000x almost made me cry the first time I listened to it because they blended so beautifully. After getting into Lucy, I was kinda like, the bassist in the awesome cover of the Coldplay song (I can't remember what it's called lol) was Wonsang?! Yechan played viva la Vida?? With Ha Hyunsang?? That made me want to watch it more ahaha (although I don't know if I'll be emotionally prepared to see Sangyeop cry)

I'll let you know if I have any ideas haha, but definitely keep writing for Lucy! I really liked your style of writing and thought you wrote Sangyeop really well!

Enjoy the show!!!!

okay now that I’m back from the show lemme answer this 🥹🥹 I think they did get some rest beforehand they were rly energetic and excited :( moreso than me cause I was so sore it hurt to stand and I was struggling when sangyeop wanted us to jump sigh

You could rly just tell they went all out for their last show of the tour and it was just so special :( I was right by wonsang bcuz he’s my bias and I wanted to watch him up close so most of the videos I took are of him. Whenever I could see sangyeop or get noticed by sangyeop I would die internally idk smth abt him live is just way too attractive and charismatic and he needs to stop being so fucking fine istg??? But wonsang was so cute I was chilling standing by him <33

I swear I can cry to any lucy song cause even the happy ones have sad or relatable lyrics… the sad ones hit so fucking hard absolutely when I need to cry colourless is my go to…. Sangyeop ugh 👹👹👹👹 and when it’s a song like boogie man I just cry cause of how beautifully crafted it is cause I think abt how hard wonsang works on every song LMAO IM SO EMO KILL ME

I also feel like I found them at just the right time but like for the opposite reason. I was going through intense burnout and listening to stove while I worked on schoolwork was the only thing keeping me going :( (along w bambam ty husband <3)

I NEED TO REWATCH SUPERBAND IN FULL TBH CAUSE 😭😭 I went back to watch the lucy stages but I just need to experience the WHOLE thing again… anyway here’s the link to the google doc with the google drive eps for you <3333 AND YES ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME COVER!!!! Absolutely adored it sm I remember how everyone thought wonsang was selfish and trying to make himself stand out by only picking guitarists while he was the only bassist but then he got all 5 votes cause his arrangement was so beautiful and chilling and ethereal and I love him sm I always call him my lil genius :(

Dropping some photos from the concert hehe

[yumikeki]

How I'd go about reintroducing Mephiles back into Sonic lore(sorta)

So this isn't going to be super structured, its gonna be really rambly but its basically cuz i'm repeating the whole thought process I had while looking stuff up, brainstorming etc so sorry if it gets a bit long, so I'll put design stuff and the whole thing under a keep reading link. Got it? Good. Lets uh, do this.

So to go back to the very beginning, the sonic channel poll. That was a wild time haha. When i first saw it I wasn't initially interested in Mephiles. I would've voted for Vector or Sonicman tbh. But seeing people talking about how cool it would be to reintroduce a character that got wiped out of existence made it a bit more entertaining to me. Which made it suck a little more that he didnt win. But hey, im not complaining about Sonicman, good for him. But that got me thinking about how difficult it would be to reintroduce Mephiles. After all, he came from a very infamous game that still leaves scars in Sonic's history, and having him just come back when his whole story revolved around a game that ppl do not want back is tricky. At least with Silver they rewrote his future a bit, and Blaze already had lore. Elise might still exist but they can mention Soleanna without having to explore too much of its past game story. Mephiles was pivotal to a plot that Sega does not want to bring back. So, i don't think they'd want to bring him back in his initial form. I also think they're trying to stray from the god stuff Sonic 06 brought into the series(besides the End).

But then I thought about IDW's canon. Where its almost sorta filler, it'll acknowledge the games but the game will only reference its characters and story in passing(so far). IDW would probably be the best place to put Mephiles so that he gets an arc without it affecting the mainline games, but still exist. Still I think we need to go further in. Solaris was not only killed in the future, but erased from existence in the beginning. Existence was rewritten to what it is now, how to you bring back a character that was not only killed, but erased? Well for the killed part, what about reincarnation? Weakened to a mortal form with lesser powers(still reminiscent of the past, but not to the time manipulation powers it once was. Essentially, mostly just the shadow powers with some new perks, but no time travel or time god powers). There can be many ways to introduce a reincarnated character, but I have an idea in mind ill elaborate on later. Next, for the erased part. Well, my idea was, why not use Null Space? Maybe what Eggman assumed was a realm created by the Phantom Ruby was actually a pocket dimension where things that didnt make sense in the new reality were put into. It has so little lore and its not very explored, rewriting it a tad wouldn't be a big deal. There was things in Null Space, despite it being described as a place of nothingness. Everything that was from the 06 reality that couldnt fit neatly into the new one was put into this pocket dimension that's essentially the void. Thats where "Mephiles" has been this entire time.

Back to the reincarnation bit, having a character like this means that while this character is in fact Mephiles, it also sorta isn't. I think this grey line where it brings back Mephiles but can be its own character in time would help ppl feel more confident in bringing him back. He wont be 100% the same, but he still has those qualities that made him seem so cool in the first place. Cold, manipulative, and destructive. Trying to always be one step ahead of others.

My idea of bringing Mephiles back would be in the form of a child. Why? Well when I think of being reverted to a weakened state, i sometimes default to children. Children also represent untapped potential, the ability to grow and change, and be easily influenced by their environment. For a character that beckons to the past but also has the ability to grow beyond it, being a child makes sense to me thematically. Also the idea of the edgy, cold merciless personality being in the body of a child is endearing to me. I actually designed a hedgehog form for this character that's supposed to harken back to Mephiles' initial form, but look like his own person. Its not what I think is the ideal form for the character, but hey i tried. My tablet broke tho so its only a doodle.

I like the straightjacket look of it, and it's loosely based on the scepter of darkness because this body is a mortal cage for Mephiles' soul. Its supposed to look like a creepy edgy kid, Mephiles himself is kinda offputting in that way anyways. Might simplify the little thorn spikes from the shoes or waist, or remove em entirely. The coat is also supposed to cover his body markings, in case one would want to keep his identity a bit of a surprise, initially. The claws are summoned, not inherently a part of his body. Looks like Mephiles' hands, just bigger. Also partially inspired by Sig from Puyo Puyo.

Since this is Mephiles-but-sorta-not, he needed a new name. I wanted to keep it close to the original Mephiles while still having its own identity, so I did research. And uh, it was probably very obvious for most but he's supposed to symbolize both God and the devil? So Mephiles is short for Mephistopheles from Faust, which also became another name for Satan. Iblis was a demon in the Islamic tradition that is also another name for Satan somewhat. And Solaris, which is a name that harkens to the sun(being a sun and time god), also harkens to Satan's original name Lucificer(meaning light-bringer/bearer, keep that in mind). Plus with the 6's of different features in the first phase and then turning into an angel of light in the final, its kinda obvious who Mephiles is supposed to represent. Well, besides also being a fusion of the concept of God, for relating to light and time. On a side note, looking into a game ive played but had no interest in, Sonic 06 really was supposed to be such an ambitious game. It had all these plot intricacies, metaphors, and the weight of fighting a god was supposed to be really heavy. It was supposed to be the biggest fight in Sonic history. The biggest bad who ever bad-ded. It was meant to be so important. It was probably obvious to most, but it was only by looking into it that I got an appreciation for 06. Its just a shame that it ended up how it did. But anyways, back to names. So I wanted to follow the same theme as Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris, being that they are all names for the Devil. Lucifer was considered the original name for the Devil, but I dont want to be that obvious. Well, i looked into the name, and Lucifer actually had greek origins with i believe the God of Venus. Well, another name for the god of Venus was Phosphorus(which guess what, also means light-bringer!). So i shortened it, and behold, the new name is Phos. So we have a design and a name! Whats the story?

Well, I don't have everything planned out, but I did have a few bullet points I'll post here:

Reincarnation of Mephiles, stripped of divine power but has his shadow manipulation still 

Lives in the Null Void from Forces(the Null Void is actually a pocket of space created when the original reality deleted itself.)

When Sonic enters and escapes Null Void, Phos leaves as well. 

Has no memories, bumps into sonic and co 

Wants to learn who he is, gets attached to sonic due to familiarity

Hates shadow, like original counterpart

Shadow does not trust him at all, and Sonic is suspicious but hey, they dont know who Mephiles is anyways. The kid looks sketchy but hes also abandoned and amnesiac, it would feel pretty bad to beat up a child. Maybe not for Shadow lol.

Has extreme empathy, but no sympathy: Is able to read people to an inhuman degree and reflect their emotions like a mirror due to lacking individuality(initially)

Starts off as cold and emotionless, incredibly manipulative due to the ability to detect the feelings of his target. 

Ends up living with Vanilla and Cream as compromise(its really funny that Cream befriends a demon baby)

He does good things and makes friends not cuz he wants to, but because he figures making allies and doing what he can so they dont kick him out will help out more in the long run. When he messes up and his morality is questioned, hes able to barely stay by putting things in his favor and talking it out.

Maybe initially tries to manipulate Sonic, but later learns of the strength of his character.

Gradually not only understands the emotions of others, but begins to absorb them as well, gaining his own feelings based on the ideals of the people in his life, primarily Sonic, Shadow, and Silver(the three who killed him in the first place)

Eventually learns about the truth, plots to regain his other half and reach his deity status somehow

Maybe ties into targeting Blaze for her fire powers? Could be related to what happened to Iblis after the reset.

????

When he realizes he wants to be his own person and choose his life, its too late and he's becoming Mephiles. 

Sonic and co go to save him, fight ensues, Phos helps from inside his own shattered mind, and is eventually able to revert back to normal, keeping his weakened powers but is not inherently evil or empty anymore. Still kinda cold and crafty but he's doing it for good(or what he believes in good, kinda stubborn like Shadow).

Joins the cast as a regular character. 

So for his powers, I kinda simplified them into a few things:

Shadow manipulation powers. Absorbs shadows, can merge into shadows to hide or teleport between them. Maybe the shadow balls come back, not sure. Can make shadow-y clones too.

Crystalline powers. Harkens back to his past body. Is able to make claws out of a crystal like substance and slash at things. Maybe can shoot them like projectiles too.

Idk if he'd keep his ability to morph into other peoples appearances though. IDW already has that one guy and its not like Mephiles made exact copies. Plus he already has his own body. Considering that Phos is meant to be somewhat empty inside and reflects the emotions of his peers, it could be fitting. Maybe when he becomes more introspective he shifts into the appearances of other characters when he thinks about them. idk.

But uh yea that was everything i had written down(i made notes based on the late night brainworms I was getting that lasted a couple of hours. This was the fruit of that labor haha.) I'm not saying this is the perfect way of bringing him back, its possible people will be upset with this version or not prefer it, but hey i like it so its gotta mean something. Technically by writing this down it kinda guarantees SEGA would not use it anyways, so its not important anyways. I might keep this as my own oc and doodle more concepts of this schemer demon baby in the future though, I think it's really neat. The idea of having a powerful small child with emotionless whims that you pray stays on your side is very cool to me, and this whole thing was fun practice anyways. I hope you guys have a good one, if you have any critiques or ideas you'd like to share id love to hear it. Just uh, be nice to me please lol. I'm trying my best. But yea that's it, thanks for entering my brainstorming personal hell.

[jovenshires]

If Spencer is Spider-Man, do you have any ideas on who in the Smosh crew would be certain Marvel heroes?

okay SO. i have been thinking ab this a little bit, bc i would like to expand the spidey au universe to other heroes. BUT im not gonna talk ab what im gonna do with the spidey au (spoilers lads <3). instead im gonna talk ab vibes. who do i think these people could be hypothetically! there's like one spoiler in here but otherwise none of this has anything to do with the canon for my spidey-spencer-verse.

also i wanna say before i get into this - DISCLAIMER: idk jack shit ab comics and i don't keep up with mcu anymore so. we're flying blind baby! i am making shit up as i go!

amanda: @blandview and i talked ab this and i think we came to a few conclusions: either she'd be black widow yelena OR she'd be an anti-hero of some kind. think elektra, think black cat... yeah she's got options.

angela: okay blandview also suggested this one: kate bishop hawkeye. we are taking no criticisms at this time.

anthony: god...... i could go so many directions but my heart longs to make him a villain/anti-hero. he's so morally gray-coded imo. magneto perhaps. other options are loki and wolverine.

arasha: there's so many options here too but i kind of like miss america for her i think!!

chanse: i mean he's miles morales. spencer is peter parker and he is miles morales end of sentence. BUT if i had to pick a non-spidey option, probably wiccan. i wanna give him magic powers so sue me!! oh or maybe iron lad. those are my faves for him

courtney: SO captain marvel coded for many many reasons. like i don't even think i need to explain this one tbh

damien: okay im thinking of making him part of the hero verse in the spidey fic so i am seriously considering this one... on the one hand like. cyclops. he is so classic x-men to me. daredevil could be fun and sexy for him. oh OR the hulk bc he's bruce banner-coded.

ian: so ive got some ops here: to match anthony. professor x. obviously. OR ant-man. do you see my vision. he looks like that.

jackie: scarlet witch was my first thought! mostly bc i could see her tearing apart the universe for love tbh (i did not watch wandavision but that trope sticks with me)

keith: does keith even want to be part of this. no probably not. maybe gambit or star-lord?? i literally cannot picture him doing this non-reluctantly and that's clouding my vision i think DKNGKNGK

kimmy: specifically jane forester thor perhaps. dazzler or jubilee could be fun for her too!!

noah: out of Everyone, noah is voted most likely to be deadpool imo. i could also see him as quicksilver bc little shit (affectionate)

shayne: i mean. thats captain america. look at him. once again i am done speaking thats it.

tommy: god... tommy is the toughest one. he's so normie in a hero world to me. like 'same shit as always' going to work while everyone out there being insane. angel?? he's also kinda x-men coded to me. otherwise....... winter soldier? i'll be real i got Nothin for that one chief.

anyway hope this was not too much of a disaster love ya bye xxx

[magic-is-something-we-create]

This or that: Writer's edition tag!

Thank you for the tag, @pens-swords-stuff!! i love these kinds of games so much :D

this post is long, so apologies in advance! that said, i'll tag @writeblrfantasy, @ettawritesnstudies, @ren-c-leyn, and @enchanted-lightning-aes, as well as anyone else who wants to play!! as always, absolutely 0 pressure to participate if you dont want <3

(explanations for choices are optional, i am just a wordy bitch and want to Speak At Length about many things)

- historical or futuristic

as much as i write fantasy, i LOVE a speculative tech-based setting way more than i love a historical or pseudo-historical setting - which is uh. why my main fantasy world does in fact have a cyberpunk corner and Heavily Implied To Be Aliens pantheon.

- opening or closing chapter

the closing chapter is ALWAYS one that ive been champing at the bit to write for the whole book, and its always so satisfying to finally get out on the page

- light+fluffy or dark+gritty

case in point: whispers and the copious amounts of various horror, gore, and downright gut-punch scenes in millennium saga

- animal companion or found family

bonus points for the found family if theres an animal companion of course, but as much as i love wrench, she is a) not the most important member of the party and b) also a robot so i dont think she counts as an animal anyway outside of andy's dubious claims to fitting under the "dragon" definition

- horror or romance

i will write 1000 instances of "what the FUCK" for every page i struggle through writing romance as someone who does not experience attraction

- hard or soft magic system

I LOVE MAKING PUZZLES OUT OF WORLDS AND MAGIC AND STORIES. THATS IT THATS THE POST

- standalone or series

surprise! TMS may be a series and my long-running main WIP, but uh. 90% of my concepts are standalones. and tbh i like writing standalones more because i dont have to struggle with multiple books of plot and characters fitting together

- one project at a time or always juggling multiple

while i have a bajillion ideas, i struggle to get any work done if im not 100% invested in the story at hand, so i work on one at a time (while allowing myself to switch if i need to of course; but if i do switch, it's never just a few days. its months, and often seeing something to completion)

- one award winner or one best seller

honestly? id rather be recognized for my hard work in creating the characters/story via an award than via a bajillion people reading it,,, though theoretically if its winning an award at least enough people have read it to a) nominate it and b) vote for it, so? best of both worlds kinda?

- fantasy or scifi

YOU THINK I, GENRE BLENDER GEORG, COULD CHOOSE--

- character or setting description

please god. my beta readers didnt know what color embers hair was until chapter 13 because i couldnt fuckin figure out how to put a description of it in naturally. ill take describing massive trees and open ocean and vast plains of ice and cluttered rooms and stained glass windows any day but dont make me describe the narrator or i swear to fuck

- first or final draft

its the puzzle box gremlin in me like "NYEHEHEHE THE PIECES. THEY ARE THERE. PEOPLE CAN SOLVE THEM. NEYHE" and that simply cannot happen in the first draft

- love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

we write polyamory, one (1) enemies-to-lovers, or no romance at all in this house (it feels so alienating to write no matter what but if its for the story ill do just about anything)

- constant sandstorm or rainstorm

can i say blizzard? i want to say blizzard. same "dont go outside or you'll die" as sandstorm but less worrying about water and also more excuses for the characters to light a fire and Talk About The Horrors or just commit arson

[toopunktofuck]

It’s always really funny when a right winger accuses me of being indoctrinated tbh. I was encouraged to form my own opinions and whenever I asked a question my mom would either tell me to look it up in a book or go online. I was 11 years old when I found out what abortion was (on neopets dot com of all places, bc ofc, that’s a whole story) and I did not discuss it with my mom at that time just because it felt super awkward and she didn’t discuss much sex ed reproductive health stuff with me at all. I very quickly came to the conclusion that forced pregnancy is terrifying and nobody should have to go through that. The vast majority of my opinions come from a place of empathy and listening to other people about the ways they have struggled, which is quite different from being explicitly told to be paranoid and hateful about everyone outside of my place on the political spectrum. I’m kind enough to recognize a lot of people were raised in such ways they were never exposed to left wing ideas at all except being told they’re Bad by mommy and daddy and everyone else in their podunk town, and while I find their opinions deplorable and it’s not my job to change their mind, I have some level of empathy for them for the actual political and religious indoctrination they actually experienced. Being raised in a way where you’re being told you’re going to hell if you’re not perfect and getting constant descriptions of fire and brimstone and told you will suffer in ways that aren’t possible on earth from an early age is absolutely fucking traumatic, and it’s no wonder people raised with such beliefs now feel a need to defend their territory instead of figuring out how to cooperate with the rest of the world. If you’re told even the people you associate with could send you to hell, why on earth would you have normal social functioning??? Im not suggesting we should hold their hands through this because these are people who think therapy is a left wing plot, but understanding how it works when you convince someone to vote against their own interests is something that interests me.

[bobabestie49]

hot take roundup

i dont have time to write out a coherent essay on this but i've made quite a few tweets on my deep priv about patriarchy, gaslighting, and more so I'm going to dump them here for now and reorganize them later when I have more time, just so I don't lose them.

Mechanics of modern patriarchy, patriarchal stabilization, male terror and "good men"

The way men refuse to entertain the idea that women are rightfully fearful of men bc of the danger that men pose to women and go so far as to publicly mock women (might as well call them hysterical) who are this fearful is akin to gaslighting. Necessarily, the perpetuation of patriarchy in the modern day means that the existence of patriarchy has to be denied and women who say otherwise are hysterical bitches.

If you silence women who point to the existence of patriarchy then bc laws aren't *overtly* anti women then patriarchy can proceed unspoken and uncontested.

The metaphysics of patriarchy is insane tbh. And those on the frontlines of fighting against anti patriarchal women point to the minimalizing of male victims of SA as a "gotcha" as though that phenomenon isn't also highly informed by patriarchy. Silencing also includes the uncontested double standards when it comes to the behavior of women. If she gets violently assaulted, she wasn't careful enough and therefore it was her fault. If she overreacted then shes hysterical and summarily mocked and dismissed. Thus, women are punished for shedding light on patriarchal violence either through being victims or protecting themselves from victimhood.

In fact i believe that patriarchy is so sinister now because of the enforced belief that women have it *good* (accompanied by systemic terrorization of women that goes unreported or downplayed) and patriarchy is no longer a thing.

Therefore in order to conceal the continued existence of patriarchy, further patriarchal violence is inflicted upon women since being sexist is frowned upon now.

The mechanics of modern patriarchy are incredible. Elements of patriarchal violence are everywhere which makes women ever more desperate for "good men" who are held to low standards bc of how atrocious bad male actors are.

There are few explicit laws disenfranchizing women (aside from the overturn of roe v wade) so women who challenge or shed light upon elements of modern patriarchal violence (either by talking ab it or being victims) are decried as either being hysterical or victim blamed.

But with this relative lack of explicit cultural misogyny (like, men are better than women period) rxnary men have room to depict women and feminists as being THEIR oppressors (from either projection on what men have historically done or through subconscious misogyny that has them deem women as more prone to vices)

The undercurrents of misogyny persist, disproportionate rage is inflicted upon female bad actors in contrast to male bad actors, female characteristics and women in general are scrutinized with far more vigilance and punished severely for deviating from being "madonnas"

But because society isn't forcing women to cover their heads or that women are allowed to drive and vote (thereby conflating "serious" misogyny with The East and inherently downplaying the misogyny here) the misogyny in the west continues unabated and will intensify. And again, women shedding light on it are denounced as privileged and unserious hysterical manly spinsters lol

And also devaluing themselves in the process (i.e. i need to conform to patriarchal ideas of the "usefulness" of women otherwise i am defective and will end up a spinster hag, because im valuable only as much as a man can value me, but there is no patriarchy bc xyz)

Notice how the men in the replies and qrts of the post below are very very upset with the way that OP is shedding light on cultural misogyny that is so pervasive that husbands are statistically more likely to abandoning their terminally ill wives - in effect they're contributing to patriarchal stabilization by punishing those that shed light on modern patriarchy.

Are men "the prize"?

Part of the dehumanization of women is portraying them as being dependent on a man. If she doesnt have a man shes deficient. This plays out in the way women are paid less than men and therefore are less able to pay their expenses, on average, than a man. "Men are the prize" is an aphorism that implicitly demonstrates the dehumanization of women. Esp single women.

Men benefit from having a woman so that they have a live in therapist/maid/sex doll/baby factory to produce descendants with. Women benefit only insofar as the man isnt abusive and so that they arent a lower class of women who dont have a man who gets paid more than them. If "men are the prize" does that not verify the lower status of single women, both on a social and material basis? Men have long seen women as something to conquer and validate their masculinity (and where women can provide endless reproductive labor). whereas women have historically been so disenfranchized that being without a man, or being without another woman, can be deadly, simply because of how devalued you and your labor are.

Masculinity and transmisogyny

Lmao at cis men thinking that trans girls want to oppress them (rape them) the way that they oppress trans AND CIS girls all the time. All because their masculinity is perceived to be impacted. LMFAO

Good Christians and allyship

Pretty obvious that "good" Christians say shit like this because they just want people to convert and like the religion or something though so lol. Can't fight for anything if you're not recruiting people. If they werent unserious they would be making a leftist christian bloc that fights bigots on a legislative and cultural and religious level, which raises funds for queer people in danger, which marches at rallies and mobilizes to defend queer people.

Id say they should be militant too but unfortunately these types are soft so lol

Female sentimentality and dehumanization

Thinking about how men demean female sensitivity and sentimentality and act like we are run by our emotions and cant make decisions by ourselves (therefore should be dependent on men) and then start mass shootings bc they cant get a live in therapist/maid/sex doll (girlfriend).

They need to 1st characterize sentimentality as exclusively female, 2nd denigrate sentimentality as either lesser or straight up evil to keep women in a lower class, but then demonize women who don't provide emotional labor for them which they ultimately need as humans.

And when men get pressured out of being emotional and when certain women pressure them into conforming to patriarchal masculine norms suddenly patriarchy isn't something that ultimately oppresses women as a class lmao

Why white Americans love Hong Kong and Taiwan so much

Usians especially the men are so supportive of hong kong protests and taiwanese separatists because they see these regions as model minority areas (that the west exercises control over through extension of its influence), that need to be saved from the inhuman yellow peril.

Just as usian imperialists didnt want to "lose" China to the cpc, so too do usian male chauvinists not want to "lose" taiwan and hk to Big Bad Communists. The submissive asian woman character will be independent and lose her sexual allure, so to speak. Or moreso their availability to be ruthlessly exploited as women in colonized, subservient countries are.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HAHA NOOO MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR REST!!! Honestly im so prone to just passing out if im somewhere comfortable and I’ll wake up and be like “…..shit” but hey naps happen for a reason too sooo ok but as inspiration keeps striking im just mentally visualizing your “to write” list LMAOOO honestly its such a feat how you’re able to keep track of all the different storylines and ideas if it were me id probably end up accidentally making the crossover of the century HAHAH actually im kinda curious (besides the inspiration striking) what’s your process of choosing what to work on/how to get things started?

Ok yeah there’s definitely worse parents than the itoshis but wow it’s very interesting seeing the difference between parents who really act like devoted parents to their kids and others who are…stumbling…let’s just say LOL I really hope we see more of everyone’s family at some point or another…I see fanart of this all the time but imagine all of their sisters just bumping into each other on the street it’d be so cute and funny!!

Omg no because I think everyone got baited by that Bible ranking poll but people forget that’s it what the BLLK characters ranked them and their opinions/impressions NOT what is actually fact according to the creator (tbh I was confused at first too especially when naruhaya ranked for most generous and least generous)

If we keep following Isagi so closely we’re gonna need more episode (insert character here)s LMAO hoping that doesn’t happen though because I think it’d cry if I found out we were just watching only Isagi Noel ness and Kaiser for a whole 50 chapters

-Karasu anon

i love sleeping LMAOO plus so much of my writing i do at night right before bed so if i feel sleepy earlier i have less time to write 😓

hmm in terms of what i choose to work on it’s pretty much what i’m having ideas for!! so usually it’s whatever i’ve consistently been working on for the past while as i’m more “in” that storyline!! so like it’s easier for me to keep writing for hollyhock vs going back and writing for peregrine as it’s been some time so that storyline isn’t as fresh for me. but then once i get some momentum for it it’ll be easy to write for again!! as for what i choose to write…definitely some characters are easier for me to write for than others (ex karasu vs yuki) so i tend to gravitate towards those characters, and then within that i’ve noticed that some tropes flow better w my writing style than others so if i have an idea that shits that i will typically go for that first!! and then too i’m not immune to validation so if a work is getting a lot of comments (or even just a couple detailed ones) and feedback i’ll be more inclined to work on that!! it’s made writing bllk fics on ao3 hard as the fandom isn’t super big yet so i don’t get many comments (if any) esp compared to my jjk works

i can’t even lie getting stories started is difficult for me i usually have to rewrite my beginning few paragraphs a few times before it morphs into something i don’t mind/like!! so i don’t really have a set process besides trying to start in the action…if you start too far in advance (which i always do at first) the beginning gets to be very wordy and info-dumpy!! in my experience it’s good to start like that and kinda orient yourself in the story and then cut to the action for the ACTUAL beginning

the itoshis are def leaning towards bad but they’re not AWFUL like some parents (hiori’s and kaiser’s parents come to mind) definitely not as good as isagi’s though!! and yeah i do wish we could see more interactions between the families but considering how we hardly get to see players that aren’t in bm that might be a tall ask 😭

yeahhh i do think that the bible poll def made things confusing especially because there’s no official english translation afaik so if that’s not made super clear in the version you’re reading online it’s easy to miss!! haha i think it’s funny how reo got voted for like all of the positive ones…he truly is mr perfect and we love that for him

NO FR if it’s just the german people + isagi w occasionally hiori/yuki/kurona/kunigami cameos for the entire next arc i might cry 😩💔 though i don’t think they would do that because it would mean taking away the focus from soooo many popular characters (rin, bachira, nagi, chigiri, barou) for even more time 🤔 i suppose we will just have to trust the process and see what happens!! for now it seems like bm vs pxg is going to go on for a bit longer so at least there’s karasu cameos to look forward to (as long as we don’t keep getting backstories…imagine a shidou/wildcard flashback is next lowkey that would be hype af)

[daegall]

i heard about ur group projects and i really hope they're going better now cuz that sounds like it sucks :(( also, hope you're better by now 🙏

i have no idea who they voted for 😅😅 not very familiar with the candidates so i forgot the names almost immediately after hearing them LOL

that's crazy!! i have deja vu replying to this tbh cuz i rmb typing out a reply to this?? but that was probably js in my head. anyways hope graduation goes well 💗 i have two more years before i graduate 🥲 (pls do not try to figure my education system out i am. not comfy w people online knowing my exact age 😅)

I ALSO REALLY HOPE YOU GET TO SEE DREAM!!

- 🥬

HI BAE!!! im actually doing so well rn i like cant cimprehend this ?! ive been taking lots of care of myself!!!! 2 tests this week and both got full scores 🙏🙏 tomorrow i have a bio test that i am!!!! prepared for 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 AND ive been working out ⁉️ like after months of procrastinating idk what spell im under but i hope it never wares off 😮

all u need to know abt indo politics is thaf 😊🙏 i dont know either 😘 LOL idk bc i have about 5 years until the next time i can voteee i dont really,,, care?? that sounds bad but I SWEAR im just like . unready for this shit ☠️☠️ and dw abt the age thing!!! i totally understand bby you dont need to tell if u dont feel comfortable abt it ^^

SO I ASKED MY DAD AGAIN ABT THE DREAM SHOW AND 😍😍😍😍😍 yall hes leaning to YES im abt ti win in life

OH YEAH MY MAIN MOTIVATION FOR MY FULL SCORES AND NIT MISSING A SINGLE CLASS AND EXTRA LESSON IS THE DREAM SHOW. bc my dad says i need to prove myseld and hey!!!! i am 💪💪💪 anw how have you been honey!!!!! i wanna hear abt your days lately toooo

[w0rldly-oyster]

AHHHHHH I have so much to do and so little time. My father will not do my CSS profile despite me freaking out and asking him to do it bc I want to get my result from CWRU on the day I’m supposed to even though I like 100% got rejected. Ugh but the fact that they’re asking for it made my mom say I prob got an interview even though I def didn’t and that’s like giving me false hope. I don’t want to deal w disappointment again so soon I alrdy cried over Rochester bc I was freaking out that I won’t get in anywhere 😭😭😭 and I have to do my court cases project and solo and ensemble is on Saturday and I have to practice singing for my class on Sunday and current events project due Monday and SSA due feb 1st and like every decision I care abt besides the Ivy ones are coming out next week/ in the coming weeks and I have to figure out wtf is going on with the uv might trying and do MATH bc we have to have all the info by Monday so we can get our video ready and we’re getting assigned seats in ipr which means I can’t sit next to my new #bestie who GHOSTED me for literally no reason omfg I can’t be making enemies this soon to the end of the school year not when I have sixty billion other things. I also have smth else on Sunday I forget what it is tho. It’s important I think. AND MY BAND DRESS DOESNT FIT ANYMORE SO IDK WHAT IM GOING TO WEAR ON SAT. Maybe if I like don’t eat breakfast it’ll fit?? Ugh why didn’t I get a size up why did I think I’d stay at that size for the rest of my life like my chest wasn’t done growing yet what was wrong with me. I’ll have to wear a ficking compression top underneath just to get it to fit probably god why did my **** get bigger without my consent and I’m turning 18 soon except my vote doesn’t matter at all bc I love in the reddest of red states and my relatively liberal city couldn’t even elect more than One democrat to our city council. I need to find black dress pants and think about a prom dress and figure out how to be a normal conversationalist soon bc at lunch today this girl was like trying to engage in conversation with me but I had no idea what to say to continue it!!! And it was fine but I sounded uninterested and she’s nice and she showed me prom dress pics on her phone ugh. This is turning into the type of rant I used to post on my spam cf so small that no one could read it with like a crazy girl song (but incredibly basic bc I have no music taste) in the background but tbh this is more cathartic. And all I did today was pick my brother up go to subway and sit at work for 20 mins bc my studnet didn’t even show up. Oh well easy $15 I guess. I def could’ve gotten things done but I just. Didn’t. There are other things due soon as well I believe oh I was forgetting abt the calc project. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahxhdijsiwndjclwnfodjdjdnfjffn

[gayspock]

okay i

i feel like my experience of bsg has been constantly being edged. but not even just bc theyre not, like, "exploring the things i want thm to explore" bc sometimes i feel like theyre not even in the vicinity of CONSIDERING such deeply interesting elements like... theres so much underutilised substance here and unfounded potential and its, like, not even as if the writers are AWARE of it sometimes like

im still kinda. irritated. by how the cylons have turned out bc ultimately they COULD have been a very interesting race to explore.... but frankly you could just replace them with people at some point - just people that can be reborn. and i dont necessarily MIND that! its kind of, like, a bit of a waste in some respects BUT i'd be like... okay with it if they rlly DID want to lean hard into the oh the differences between us are just purely arbitrary ... we really are just people... BUT TBH IT SOMETIMES DOESNT EVEN RLLY FEEL LIKE THAT is the case, like it so rarely even feels intentional, just... FEELS LIKE THEY DONT RLLY THINK ABOUT THE IMOACT SOME OF THE CHOICES THEY MADE WOULD HAVE, bc deven then thand i feel like god theyre just....

like it just constantly feels like we're kind of skimming the surface of a lot of shit (waves vaguely) but NOT really going into them, just sort of briskly going through ideas... even the ones at the heart of the show like faith and religion and so forth AND ITS LIKE... SO bizarre to watch, bcITS NOT THAT THEY DONT DO ANYTHING GOOD, OR IN DEPTH EITHER is the thing its just like....

i think they do rlly well at portraying certain crises. i know they do that well. and theres these moments that are so insanely good... i think gaius baltar has genuinely been a spectacular portrayal of a fucking egotistical git, and that his rise to power was honestly a very realistic ddepiction of WHAT people would vote for etc. and theres other moments like that and the pegasus and a lot of s3's ending that are sooo good and tense and impactful but the rest of it is so weird its like. it feels like i keep going "OK COOL. AND?" just rxpecting there to be more stewing in things but theres not and

part of me maybe just feels like thats the style of it but god im also so sick of it when we spend 10 million FRACKING YEARS on some shit lee is up to like i fucking careeeee when we could have spent that time developing some other big important ideas that genuinly. could matter here. i dont know i dont know man im really angry about dualla right now for real and im kind of . like im TRYINGGG TO CHILL bc im too close to the end to stop but that has actually pissed me off a lot bc i feel like if we WANTED a final five contender she'd have been such a good fucking shout frankly annd i dont kniw god. i was half expecting the ball to drop and for her to somehow be one of them right there but no god they .

they seriously just fucking killed her and for what. like no im serious like. i think thats the first thing thats really PISSED me off in the show bc you canttt just fucking drag a character - who had GOOD potential, that was stolen from her repeatedly - along for seasons and do nothing with her to then just. try to milk her for fucking shock value and sympathy points and no doubt to try and fucking . develop lee soon which im seething about prematurely which i kno w is unfair but thats literally... ohh im pissedddd. oh im pissed. my point is its so fucking lazy and annoying and i think the other problem is like

they have characters where its like . my god. im so glad you actually had the integrity to follow through with them and have them make shitty decisions instead of being so caught up on trying to craft some very specific construct of a guy here. i think tigh is done brilliantly for example. ive mentioned baltar - for all he is loathsome, he is so well done (although slacking a bit later). but then you have characters like lee... and to some externt kara... where im just kind of sick of them man bc its like. they dont even feel like characters to me. ium just sick of their fucking faces bc i feel like the show bends around them to do whatever the fuck they want and they get justified and rewarded and its so fucking tiring to watxh sometimes like i dont.. ugh... bc like ive said with lee countless times he isnt even a character to me bc he has no fucking agency. hes a fucking lamp that they carry around and tell it what a good job its doing. so what man . and then it does some speech to save the day LIKE WHOOOO CARRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS UGHHH SHUT UP

meanwhile again dualla. cally. to some extent sam but i hope hes getting more work put into him now. like ppl on the peripheray here which just literally get DROPPED or reset at the end ofepisode or ignored and forgotten and its like i dont know man can we fucking stop . going on about kara and lee for two seconds because i dont fucking care about him. at least kara i feel like you can kinda lean into it bc its a part of her character- with lee i just feel annoyed but i. HWATEVER. I DIGRESS. I DONT KNOW

MY WHOLE POINT IS IM LIKE. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK MAN. bc i feel myself kinda burnt out + in fairness i have no time to watch rn bc im so tired but its also like... i dont know i dont feel that intrigued by the man plot bc i just feel like theres a lack of depth to the show in such a weird prticular way i can never put m finger on and its just lik. it feels like theres no stakes fo me. and now theyre at earth and i dont know if i even cared like... huh wtf

[survivor-north-sea]

episode fourteen: "I’m on cloud nine and truly vibing" - Raffy

Trinica

Not Jay exposing me and AJ for having a "historically strong alliance" during tribal when I've spent weeks lying to these people about never speaking to AJ!!!!!

I'm honestly shocked that vote went off as planned. JayJay, Champ, and Tyler just...believed that we would vote the way we said we would. After two votes we were involved with going awry. They just said, well, maybe this time!!! I'm so confused.

I think my perfect game comes to an end next vote though, because there is simply no way that Champ and JayJay don't target me or Toni for lying to them for a third time now. Also, the idol question is getting real suspicious considering nobody has played one since Raffy did. I literally thought there were at least 3 floating around but it seems like I literally have the only idols in the game. Iconic of me, truly.

Toni

Theme: Taking Stock

I'm taking stock of my game so far and I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad about it. Something Jinx said yesterday got me thinking. I have bouts of thinking it's just a game and then bouts of guilt and regret. This may just be because I'm a new player but I'm struggling to understand how this game is able to affect me in this way.

Usually when i'm overwhelmed in that way I tend to disconnect in every sense of the word. I've thought about quitting this game multiple times today and I'm sure others in my alliance who have had to carry out some of the "dirty work" have experienced the same level of guilt as I do.

I feel a little better now that the lies are out in the open but also don't. Over the last two tribals I have felt like I needed to lie to people because of our alliance perhaps I put myself in that position by being to friendly to everyone. That's how I justify it - "I did it out of necessity" or "I've been loyal to my one true alliance unless they've been disloyal to me". I noticed at the last tribal that no-one even attempted to put on a poker face. I didn't feel right about it. It makes me feel like we're underestimating others. It also makes me feel like we're in danger because of that. Maybe we're getting to confident, too comfortable and too emotionally detached. This may be why I feel more guilt today, because for a second I forgot I was lying to real people.

so yeah...

Raffy

Last tribal, it was Jinx’s idea to switch to Tyler. I’ll be honest. I thought he was about to use an idol and we were gonna be screwed. To think that JayJay, Champ, and Tyler actually trusted Trinica and Toni after all that’s happened? It’s wild. I understand they’re targeting Jinx and me, but I didn’t think they didn’t see the obvious alliance. It’s going to be real boring until Final 4 and, even then, I think that’ll be boring too lol. I think Trinica and Toni are definitely sitting at the end. It’ll be between Jinx and I for that last slot. I think I would need to win immunity to secure my spot, so I’ll try really hard to win it! Even then, a lot can still happen.

For this tribal, the alliance is just going to vote 2-2 between Champ and JayJay. As long as they don’t have an extra vote or vote steal, it should be good. If there is no idol play, we plan to vote for JayJay on the revote. Then we’ll be at Final 5 and need to ensure Champ doesn’t win immunity. Honestly, I get why people stay loyal in these games. I’m on cloud nine and truly vibing.

Trinica

Bless JayJay for trying to get Toni to believe I blamed her for the Tyler vote. That's so funny to me because I literally knew this was going to be her tactic when she asked me last night whether it was Toni's decision after I had already told her it was a joint decision. You tried it, JayJay!!!

Jinx

the longest thiccy jinxcast for f7

part one: https://voca.ro/1ibFz6P115lq

part two: https://voca.ro/17ysCI0eQhBx

it’s kinda giving rites of passage

Champ

Tbh I’m not very sure where I stand in this game, but whatever I can do to make it to any other tribal is what im gonna do

[nukenai]

The other night I had to have a conversation with one of my barn friends and she was like. Baffled at someone disagreeing with her about stuff... it's mostly a western barn so lots of barrel race yeehaw shit. And she was like "omg California BANNED RODEOS!!" and idk if that's entirely true I didn't look it up but i was like "oh, good". Lmao. She was mortified when I told her I don't think bull riding or bronc riding (where they have a bucking strap tied on to force them to buck) is appropriate treatment of an animal, and that I think calf roping is atrocious. And also that rodeos are full of people who would definitely call me fucking slurs and would have no qualms just saying the N word probably. And she seemed. Dumbfounded? That I could possibly have this idea about rodeos?

But I made sure to phrase it as "I find the treatment of animals inappropriate" and "I would feel unsafe in those environments", not "everyone at and supporting rodeos is a drooling racist redneck loser". And she actually listened to me and obviously disagreed (she's from my hometown which is.... let's just say it's a miracle I'm not also a yeehaw right wing dumbass).

Someday I'll be able to be at a barn without conservatives but man. Is it difficult. Luckily most of them are like. Pretty normal people (despite what the internet will say about it being ok to punch everyone who has different views from you) and I've never encountered any extreme viewpoints, except for that one bitch who didn't pay board and got kicked out and was a dipshit in EVERY possible way.

It's like having conservative family members. Like maybe uncle Joe votes red but that doesn't mean he thinks all gay people should die. He's probably just never met one bc he's never left his yeehaw hometown lmao.

Most people (especially if they don't spend a ton of time online) are just kinda normal, man. The barn owner is a conservative lady who is... not the brightest tbh but she's a good horsewoman and she really likes me and thinks im hilarious for some reason. So I got that going for me! Also like there aren't trump flags flying at the barn or anything. She's just a simple lady who's lived Farm Life her entire life yknow.

Anyways I'm glad the stupid anti vax idiot is gone and I hope her stupid daughter grows up to hate her and I hope her horse kicks her someday (she is about 150 pounds too heavy for that horse. And this is not a fatphobic thing, it's for the legitimate health and safety of the animal for one's weight and tack to not be over 20% of the horse's weight. There exist plenty of proper horses for this woman to ride. She has a very thin thoroughbred and it's just. Awful. I hope he's ok.)