You know Mark has to have been yanked into a game of Fuck/Marry/Kill superhero edition at some point in his life. When he initially picked kill for Omni-Man everyone just assumes it's because he's straight and can't stand to be perceived in any way queer. Then he gets pitted up against like, Sewer Grate and Mud Maniac and people realize he always picks kill for Omni-Man.
So someone just has to break down and say, what did Omni-Man do that hurt you so bad? Fuck your mom?
And Mark just had to sit there in silence.
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Well damn, Mumbo was back.
Evil Xisuma didn't have a comms device of their own. They figured this out because the man himself flew up to them asking about diamonds.
"Uhh, hello, X?"
"What?" they asked, turning around to see a very nervous Mumbo (oh, who were they kidding, he was always nervous) standing behind them, holding a shulker box.
"Oh, you're not- my bad," he said, stepping backwards. "Sorry. I thought you were Xisuma."
"That's a first," muttered EX. "How the Hels did you fuck up that badly?"
"Right, you can swear," sighed Mumbo. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I just- do you know where X is?"
"Nope."
"Okay," said Mumbo. "Do you think you'd be able to help me with-" [he waved his free hand vaguely] "diamond stuff?"
EX had zero idea how this man found them, or what the hell he wanted, or even why he was talking to them at all. Most Hermits just avoided this part of the Nether, and let them do their thing. But here Mumbo was, just standing there, diamonds in hand. Sure. Why not.
"Elaborate," they said, leaning back against the wall.
"Okay," started Mumbo. "I left the server a few months back to go on a trip, right?"
"Allegedly."
"When I- when I left, I was the richest Hermit. And then I got back, and I thought well I'm definitely not the richest Hermit anymore, but then I checked in my vault and there was substantially more diamonds in there than I remember?"
"What does any of this have to do with me or X?" asked EX flatly. At this point, they were just considering telling him to shove off and let them continue building this wall. This was a waste of time.
"I was wondering," said Mumbo, looking anywhere but their face (did this man go to therapy for anxiety? EX sure hoped he did. This was embarrasing.), "if you had perhaps lost any?"
What the fuck?
"I know you haven't been around," said Mumbo with a sigh, "but this is why I was looking for X first, and I just got really lost on my way there, and maybe there might be a chance that you-"
EX paused him with a wave of their hand. "You are smoking warped mushrooms if you think I have been anywhere close to the Overworld," they said, walking closer. "If this had been any other person, or any other situation, I would have said that oh yeah, I took your puny little diamonds, but this? I'm not even going to pretend that I have. Come on. Seriously, how did you get all the way out here?"
"I thought it was worth a shot," said Mumbo, stepping back two paces and almost tripping over a dint in the netherrack. "Since, y'know, that was sort of your whole thing in season 8-"
EX sighed. "We don't talk about season 8."
"Sorry."
There was a dead silence of about 10 seconds in which EX turned back around and continued building the wall. Hearing no footsteps or rockets, they turned back around and raised an eyebrow. "X's portal is about three thousand blocks southwest of here. If you want to make it before the sun goes down in the Overworld- maybe it's already set, who knows- you should probably get on it."
Mumbo cleared his throat. "Uh. Yeah that'd be good. Thanks?"
"Do you go to therapy for anxiety?"
"What?"
"You need therapy. Get out of my swamp."
Mumbo nodded and, almost dropping the shulker box, flew off in the direction that EX had specified.
They watched him go for a while longer, hands on hips. What a guy. What a weird fucking guy.
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