The skin on Xiao Xingchen’s neck looks really soft. Xue Yang wants to know if it’s really as soft as it looks and he gives in to his desire to nuzzle against it. It is soft and also delightfully warm and smells really nice. Xue Yang can feel this smell at the tip of his tongue. He wants to lick Xiao Xingchen’s skin, get a real taste, but instead he finds that wonderful pulsing vein. He presses his lips to it, to feel the pulse better. Xiao Xingchen’s breath stutters and he freezes but not before titling his chin up to give Xue Yang better access. Xue Yang marvels at the feeling of daozhang’s pulse quickening. Xiao Xincheng swallows, and his adam’s apple jumps under Xue Yang’s lips. Xue Yang has never felt the beat of life like this, never held it so close and observed it so quietly. He wants to feel more, so he tugs at Xiao Xincheng’s collar, but is stopped, as daozhang catches his wrist.
“My friend...”, he breathes in warning tone.
Xue Yang lets go, Xiao Xingchen too, but he allows Xue Yang to drag his palm along his chest above his clothes. Xue Yang’s hand stops above heart – and there it is, quick and strong. Xue Yang pushes his hand against daozhang’s chest, and the other doesn’t move away, but instead leans into the touch, and Xue Yang thinks that if he were to close his hand now, he would hold Xiao Xingchen’s heart – living, bleeding, beating fast because of him, for him.
I'm looking for a feeling, I want to know
I'm looking for a feeling that won't let me go
Closing my eyes, wind and the rain
Holding an anguish, I can't contain
Devendra Banhart - Feeling
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